The batfamily definitely just uses batarangs for everyday purposes because there’s a shit ton of them lying around.
Like, need a pizza sliced? Round edge of a batarang is perfect.
Need to pick fuzz out of your phone charging port? Little pointy edge will do.
Reading a book on patrol and you gotta get a goon? It’s flat enough to be a bookmark in a pinch.
Can’t find a nail file? They definitely have a good grit so they don’t slip out of the hand too much.
Need to test if your cake is ready? Perfect.
Got a loose thread from walking into a fence, perfectly sharp in a pinch.
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..the batfam siblings are randomnly getting teleported through time to the original days of batman and robin, but somehow Bruce is nowhere to be seen. This leads to so many more questions, and each of them has begged the villains to just put them out of their misery at some point.
Exhibit 1
Jason *teleports into Wayne Manor*
Jason: what the actual fuck is happening?
Eight year old Dick:
Jason:
Jason: Ah sh- shoot.. Hey there..
Eight year old Dick *lip trembles*
Jason *panicking* : uhhhh hey kid please don’t cry-
*WHAM*
Jason’s knees explode in pain as he doubled over and then there’s a continuous tornado of blows coming before he’s down for the count
Eight year old Dick: IM GONNA ROCK YOUR SHIT FUCKER *about to smash a granite statue on Jason’s head if Alfred hadn’t walked in at that moment*
Jason *tasting blood and wheezing* : I- I think my ribs are broken.. also why does this fucking feel like déjà vu?
Exhibit 2
Tim:
Robin!Dick:
Tim: uh- hey Dick?
*villain appears*
Tim *running in front* : Don’t worry I’ll protect yo-
Robin!Dick running out from behind him wielding an electric blowtorch he stole from Tim: MEET YOUR END TODAY!
Tim *panicking* : ROBIN NO
Dick *cackling* : ROBIN YES
Exhibit 3
Damian:
Dick:
Damian: Richard.. you’re- not what I expected.
Dick *scaling the side of the skyscraper to help a cat stuck there*
Damian: .. Compassion is a quality you always-
Damian:
Damian: .. Richard.. where is the rest of your gear?
Robin!Dick *with cats in hand running off the ledge*
Damian: RICHARD WHERE IS YOUR GRAPPLING HOOK?!
Dick ended up doing several gymnastic moves, giving a perfect landing with the cat in tow and not a single scratch on him. Damian has stopped functioning.
Bonus
Cass *smiling warmly*
Dick *smiling and waving* : HI NICE LADY!! Do you want a cookie? Alfred made them!!
Cass *taking the packet Dick is trying to hold upright*
Dick: That ones for you! And this *takes out a small box with a skull drawn on it with crayons* is for your family! I know you don’t like talking about them.. and I think they’re the ones who hurt you. Just give them one cookie and they’ll never bother you again!
Cass: :) . Thanks.. but cookie not solve everything..
Dick: Aww..
Dick:
Dick: If I burn their house down will that work?
Cass: •_•
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but what if they were girls??
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when ur vigilante dad is lecturing you and your increasing number of vigilante siblings and ur trying not to laugh but then u make eye contact with ur brother
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So... I don't know what I was thinking. I did this. TimKon i supposed ? Sorry Kon. Love you Tim.
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