#roddy plays fe fates

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Remember my "Birthright no resets" run that I last played half a year ago? I uh. don't think I ever figured out what I would do if Corrin died. And I very nearly. uh. had to figure that out quick.

Charlotte got a crit and nearly ended everything right there. Like. good for her. But holy shit I am so stressed.

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Well that was a disaster but on the bright side I made it to my S-support with Kaze! Just in time, right before the chapter when I resolved to marry him and then he fucking died, last time I played Birthright.

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Continuing my Birthright hard mode no-resets run, I’m. hm. having a time, shall we say, thinking about the Nohrian siblings.

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Returning to Birthright after having played the rest of the routes and I have two things to say:

1. Leo should absolutely have gotten to murder Zola in every single route. It’s a crime that he doesn’t get to complete the trifecta.

2. Leo has never done a single thing wrong this entire time. Never, not once. While I am aware that he’s a dick to his son in that paralogue, the Deeprealms and child units were a mistake that actively makes this game worse no matter how much fun Heirs of Fate was and no matter how cute my son and daughter and my nephews are, so that’s not actually a real thing that happened that Leo did wrong. Because that would be the only thing Leo’s done wrong, if he did that, which he didn’t. Because that paralogue is not real. Because Forrest, tragically, because he’s my sweet darling nephew whom I love very much, is not real.

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Every interaction between these two is. so fucking funny. Jakob is such an asshole.

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The entire dynamic here is just. so funny. I don’t even know what to add. It’s just quality nonsense and I’m here for it more than I am anything else about this game.

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I feel like the only problem with if Xander and Ryoma married is how the hell they would run their kingdoms. The logistics would be a nightmare.

Pros:

Yeah there’s already a peace treaty between Nohr and Hoshido, and the royal families are good people and friends and forever bonded together via Corrin, and they won’t be breaking that treaty. 

Marriages are also part of how diplomacy and alliances work.

Like, for example, if the sister of the King of Hoshido marries the King of Nohr. That would shore up the bonds of peace between Hoshido and Nohr even more.

But then would it not strengthen the ties between these kingdoms even further if the King of Hoshido were just to simply marry the King of Nohr

“This is not where I thought this was going,” Ryoma says. “Either when you said you were going to study government and act as an advisor to me once the war was over, or once you started this conversation.”

“What, you thought I was going to propose an arranged marriage for one of our sisters?” Takumi asks. “Without their input and approval and direct involvement in every step of it? They would kill me.”

“Yes, but now it sounds like you are suggesting an arranged marriage to me,” Ryoma says. “With Xander.”

“I’m simply laying out the facts for you of why you shouldn’t talk yourself out of this proposal,” Takumi says. 

“When was I going to - when did you think I ever thought of this idea in the first place, to talk myself out of it?” Ryoma asks.

Takumi blinks slowly, sagely. He looks almost amused. “Oh,” he says. “You know.”

“I don’t think I do, actually,” Ryoma says.

Cons:

What about the royal bloodlines of Hoshido and Nohr, and the power to manipulate dragon veins?

“You have three other siblings, as does Ryoma,” Leo says. “Statistically, one of us probably will end up having children who are blood-related to us.” He pauses and seems to considering something, counting on his fingers as he does. “Probably one of us will? But it wouldn’t be the end of the world if anyone couldn’t use dragon veins anymore, would it? Just name a successor out of adopted children or your siblings’ kids.”

“Leo,” says Xander, his face in his hands.

“Are you going to tell me you don’t want me to speak my mind to you anymore?” Leo asks.

“No,” says Xander. “Of course not.”

“Right, then,” Leo says.

Cons: 

Logistics of governing each kingdom as a separate entity, with each’s own unique concerns and needs being addressed, when their kings are not separate entities

“But surely we can work that out,” Leo says. “I think royal weddings are supposed to be huge, over-the-top affairs, and that would take quite a while to plan, so while other people handle that we can deal with the nightmare of governance. ....Xander? Are you listening to me?”

“Yes,” Xander says, his face buried in his arms now. “Leo, what would Father think?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore what Father would think,” Leo says quietly. “You’re the King of Nohr, Xander. It only matters what you think. And King Ryoma as well, I suppose, considering what we’re discussing. But I wouldn’t worry too much about his side of things.”

Xander makes a pained choking sound, sort of like he just got away from being strangled only to be kicked in the ribs.

--

“What do you mean that you--”

“--tried to talk my brother--”

“--into marrying--”

“--your brother--”

Takumi holds his head in his hands. “I can’t believe we both had a conversation like that with them. They’re going to think that we coordinated it with each other. They’re going to think that we had some joint plan.”

“I can believe it,” Leo says. “You know the saying, ‘great minds think alike’? Besides, they’ll only think that if they talk to each other about this, and if they do then we were successful, so it doesn’t really matter that much, does it?”

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48% CRIT CHANCE.

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I genuinely love it when the odds in a battle end up turning into something epic. Kagero went in for the first strike against Ryoma and landed her hit, and then managed to dodge both of his potentially-lethal attacks to make it out safely. Saizo went next, dodging Ryoma’s first attack, missing his own attack, and then he would have fallen to Ryoma’s second attack - if Sakura, who was paired with him, hadn’t stepped in and blocked.

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File this under: very bad family reunions.

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AU where Corrin gets to spend a little longer at the castle after coming from the Northern Fortress, long enough to meet their siblings’ retainers, and long enough for “Odin, Laslow, and Selena” to meet Lilith “the stable girl” and they just all stare at each other like a deer in the headlights and Lilith just. slowly raises a hand and points at Corrin and whispers “that one” and that is the most interaction that they ever have with each other.

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this is some Kirby boss battle kinda shit

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This is going to be history’s longest duel at those damages.

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I do not want to make a compilation of “Xander not thinking about how it sounds before he Just Says Things to Ryoma” but like...

come on, Xander, really now.

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One of my favorite phenomenon is when an enemy has an absolutely atrocious hit rate, but even if they did manage to connect, they would just do like 0 or 1 damage anyway. Like. they’re putting in so much effort trying to land a hit, and Ryoma would just be like “hm, did I get hit by a pebble”.

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Is it illegal for women in Nohr to cover their thighs in battle, unless you’re Camilla’s retainers? Because seriously, Selena and Beruka are the only two ladies in this army who wear trousers. Elise wears a skirt and tall boots and no leggings, Azura has one leg covered, and every other woman here is showing at least half of her asscheeks underneath her heavy armor and I hate it.