#romanticizing suicide is just an ick for me

[rirabeko]

Some of Baji's mischaracterization that gives me the ICK

It's 2024 and there are people out there who still can't understand Baji's character and mischaracterize him heavily, mostly because of the Bajifuyu ship.

DISCLAIMER: You can ship whoever you want. I'm just tired of seeing my favourite character constantly being mischaracterized because of toxic shippers. Also I'm not a shipper myself, I do not romanticize any of the relationships I mention below.

The biggest issue with Baji's character is the fact that Bajifuyu shippers (and sometimes just the fandom in general) constantly ignore Kazutora's role in Baji's life, meanwhile Kazutora made a huge impact on Baji's character. You can clearly see it not just in the anime or in the manga, but in the spin-off too.

Baji and Kazutora were that duo, they were a literal separated team within Toman. They met naturally, become friends instantly and spent most of their time together (many times without Toman). It's accepted by the fandom, that Kazutora's first real friend was Baji, but also Baji's first close friend was Kazutora.

Obviously Mikey and Baji were close as kids, but after Baji moved to a different place they weren't that close. I bet this is the reason why Baji didn't know about Shinichiro's bike shop, since when they met regularly Baji was a little kid and Shinichiro was a teenager without a bike shop. It also shows that Mikey and Baji aren't that close, they are more like childhood buddies than close friends.

I can talk about this for hours but now I only wrote it as a small disclaimer, before I get into my points, so let's go.

I am sick of it when:

they call Baji stupid (he literally outsmarted Kisaki, being smart not equals only book smart)

people headcanon him as a mean, aggressive, abusive bf (he is canonly no.1 best lover and he literally died because he has a heart of gold, let this bs go pls)

they can't understand the reason behind his suicide and make it a ship war (ICK)

people can't accept the fact Baji loves his friends differently, and not everyone is his bestie (it doesn't mean he does not love them, or prefers someone over the other but love can be different towards different people and it's absolutely normal!)

they make his character all about Bajifuyu (he is an individual, stop bringing up Chifuyu EVERYTIME when it comes to Baji. His character is much more than a guy in a dominant-submissive fanmade yaoi ship people like dragging him into!)

they make Chifuyu the good, perfect friend while constantly dragging Baji down and made him the bad guy in their relationship (I could write a whole essay just about this being a bullshit)

when they romanticize Bajifuyu (Baji canonly sees Chifuyu as a younger brother figure said by Baji's mom, but there are people out there who still believes unironically that they are in love... WHY?)

they ignore that Baji is very caring and affectionate not just towards Chifuyu, he is like this because these are his own personality traits. He behaves like this with everyone who's close to him. (Mikey, Kazutora, Ryuusei and just Toman in general)

people say Chifuyu was the only one who understood Baji's feelings and aims (the literal reason Baji died was because no one really understood his goals and behaviour, not even Chifuyu)

they romanticize Chifuyu's obsessiveness towards Baji (if Chifuyu was a girl, he would be cancelled for this behaviour immediately, but the double standard won again)

people make his death an opportunity to romanticize Bajifuyu (biggest ICK)

they say Baji is only distant with Chifuyu beacuse he is a tsundere (there are so many situations when Chifuyu truly annoys Baji, e.g. he said it many times that Chifuyu's infatuation really disturbs him and asked Chifuyu to stop)

Bajifuyu shippers ignore and hate Kazutora just because he disturbs their ship

they say Baji was a bad influence to Kazutora (Kazutora hung out with gangs even before he met Baji, he was already a part of the underworld. the reason Kazutora turned out that way was his abusive father and his horrible childhood in general. Baji literally saved him, and he could finally be himself around Baji without any judgement or harassment)

they ignore or even DENY Bajitora's bond because of Bajifuyu

they accept Bajifuyu, Kazufuyu or even the Bajitrio but HATE Bajitora (the biggest bullshit ever)

they can't recognise the fanservice of Bajifuyu and calls them canon because of the clear fanservice acts

people think Bajitora is one sided (more Baji sided) meanwhile Tora loves Baji more than his own life and shows it many times how much he loves Baji and how much Baji means to him

they accept that Chifuyu never changed his hairstyle after Baji made it for him (and obviously they romanticize it) but they are hating because Kazutora looked exactly like Baji in bad toman timeline

people ignore Bajitora and always forgets that they are very close to each other in every timeline. the new panels Wakui drew were also about Kazutora putting Chifuyu to his place after Chifuyu completly ignored Tora and disturbed his time with his best friend. (we all know Kazutora is very possessive with Baji for obvious reasons and does not tolerate being disrespected by someone)

The list could go on and on but these are the main problems I still see in this fandom when it comes to Baji's character.

I'm tired of seeing this amazingly well-written character turns into a boring, abusive, mean guy by the fandom who is only an abuser in a toxic fanmade yaoi ship.

SIDE NOTE:

To all the people who dislike him/call him mean and aggressive because he beat Chifuyu up:

This anime is based on a manga which takes place in the early 2000's gangster world in Japan. He is the captain of the 1st division, he is the leader, and his role is not just to be the strongest in the division but also to manage his team, bc this is also what a leader does. If someone is disrespectful, breaks the rules and shows a bad example to the others he has to punish them. In this world this is how things go. This won't make him a bad person, or an aggressive jerk. Baji can be very calm and collected when it comes to leading his division. He is a very good leader, who takes care of his teammates, so no surprise he is really loved by his division. 

Also when he beat Chifuyu up before joining Valhalla: he hated himself for doing that. But he had to, he had no other choice. And Chifuyu had every right to stand up against Baji and tell him he's not doing it. But since Chifuyu never questions Baji's decisions as the captain of the first division he agreed with this one too, and also because he wanted to help him. Chifuyu knew exactly what he was doing when he let Baji doing this to him, and he went along with it. Stop bringing this up everytime and use it against Baji.

[xuer]

saw someone on here (I can’t remember who) who glorified hatake sakumo’s suicide by theorizing he committed seppuku so kakashi could live a life out of his father’s shadow and without his actions on That Mission and subsequent disparagement by the village hanging over his son’s head.

I vehemently disagree with this sentiment.

first of all, seppuku, if anyone is unaware, is a ritualistic suicide where you disembowel yourself and slowly bleed to death. it was historically and most notably committed by japanese samurai as a form of atonement or punishment for disgraced warriors. it was also (and originally) used as a way to avoid being tortured or captured by enemies.

the post I referred to above stated their “headcanon” was that sakumo used this to atone for his sins. in return I ask, what sin did he commit exactly? yes, he was vilified by his comrades for choosing his teammates over the mission, but reading over his character and looking at his personality, I don’t think it is something he would have regretted. in the pain arc kakashi himself said he understood the sacrifice sakumo made for the sake of the village, referring to his mission, not his death.

up until his depression, sakumo was an extremely humble and straight-laced character, and under normal circumstances I think he wouldn’t have hesitated to do it again even if people shunned him for it. in fact, personally, I don’t think sakumo had anything to apologize for at all except the suicide itself, and that’s exactly what he did in the anime. it’s a widely accepted belief that he killed himself out of shame (but not as atonement; there is a clear difference).

but all of this isn’t even my main point. my main issue with that post is the fact that they used a cultural form of honor-suicide to paint sakumo out as some loving father who sacrificed himself for kakashi’s future, when in reality he probably didn’t even have kakashi in mind.

yes, sakumo loved kakashi, and it’s obvious in the way he treated him and how kakashi adored and idolized his father. but depression is a nasty thing. it can ruin your relationships and your integrity. it can change the way you think and the outlook you had on everything. it can make you feel like your entire life is broken beyond fixing. and it can rip your loved ones away from you without it actually doing anything to them. it makes you forget about them, it makes you have tunnel-vision, it makes you obsess over things that in turn hurt the ones that you love and love you.

I don’t think sakumo was thinking straight when he killed himself. he was already neck-deep in a depressive episode and was despised by most of his village, even those he risked his career to save. even if he somehow deluded himself into believing him dying would be beneficial to kakashi’s well-being, any sane person could tell you it wasn’t. kakashi himself could tell you it wasn’t. he would rather have his father alive and disliked by the village than dead in his home for his corpse to be discovered by his own son. what rubbed me the wrong way about that post is the fact that the tone of the whole thing painted sakumo’s suicide as justifiable in any way.

at the end of the day, I think you can theorize his motivations however you want. this post is also just an alternate opinion.

but even if sakumo thought he had kakashi’s best interest in mind, he was absolutely misguided, and if there’s one thing I dislike, it’s making his suicide out to be as some righteous sacrifice to give kakashi a better upbringing, because it definitely didn’t.

[hematomes]

I could definitely see momoe being intersex! It definitely happens to where ppl dont even know about it or realize it! I like this headcanon for her, a little light in the darkness. ☺️

My thoughts on the show though...oh man. They are very negative so I'm sorry. 😫 You don't have to read it all if you don't want to. Warnings ahead for mentions of child abuse and suicide:

In a nutshell it's some kind of preachy anti-suicide propaganda piece, and it goes about its message in such a weirdly perverse and victim-blamey way. It's also sexually charged in a rly low-key way where it's romanticizing the way these children are crushing on and/or being abused by adult men. Ah I can't articulate it properly but it comes off as so sinister in its intention and it's easy to miss, *especially* for the target audience of, well, 14-year-old girls.

The end was so nonsensical that I can barely even remember what happened, but by that time I was already so upset about Frill and realizing what the show's message truly was that I don't think I was even registering what little plot that show had to give.

Also, as a trans boy myself, I have mixed feelings about Kaoru, but I don't think I'll ever watch the show a second time to let those thoughts fully form.

i just finished the last episode (without the extras) and im gonna be real with u i didn't understand it at all 💀

i see your point and i agree, especially with the last wonder egg & the whole thing with ai's/koito's teacher. i got the ick really quickly but the 1st real nail was the fact that he painted an "adult" version of ai and called it beautiful/gorgeous etc (and said she'd look like her mother, WITH WHOM HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP......) and i thought it would be addressed later on, but they just. dropped that and then made it worse by saying that in a parallel universe she confessed to him and that he was her first love. without it being weird somehow idk. not to mention how breezily they hypothetized that he could've abused koito hello..... however ill give them the benefit of the doubt for that since it was a discussion between 4 teen girls and one of them did step up. even tho she just stepped up to defend her uncle. oh well.

i think i see their point in the way that teenagers sometimes get attached to their teachers, but it's the teachers' responsibility to draw a FIRM boundary and that guy clearly didn't with neither ai nor koito. im also quite unsatisfied about how his relationship with koito remained vague till the end of the main show (can't say abt the extras)

overall i still enjoyed watching it and got attached to the girls, but it really went sideways with the episodes 10-12. not really sure how i feel about the frill situation which frustrates me to NO END bc i literally started watching it for her </3 anyway

kaoru is... an extremely unimportant character, barely one episode etc and his trauma (and the trauma of all the wonder eggs tbh) was basically overlooked, which is also why im desperately clinging to the queer momoe hc. also disappointed bc he really deserved. so much more.

ANYWAY i was 0% ready for the last 3 episodes, and idk if ill watch the extras bc that was really weird and rushed. i feel like they should've explored some stuff way more, specifically around frill and how she's linked to what's happening. plus her motives etc, bc at the end of the day it's up to interpretation but like so vague i can't even really think of smth that would fully make sense

so, yea. imo amazing start but some very important things were left out (which sucks bc as u said the target audience is teenagers) and glazed over when it could've been an opportunity to point out how fucking WEIRD and dangerous some teachers are and the end was kinda fucked.

in conclusion. hoshiai no sora is better

[darkstarofchaos]

The Notebook: a Not So Love Story.

As promised, here is my first post for the holidays! I thought we'd get arguably the least "fun" one out of the way first, so here is another rant against romanticized abuse; specifically, against the wonderful little cinematic nightmare that is The Notebook.

About a month ago, I found myself chatting with someone who considered the movie to be "sappy and kinda sad and beautiful... A good love story". I pointed out that it romanticizes abusive relationships, and even took apart how the "romance" began, but he called it cute and dismissed the idea that there was anything wrong with that scene. He then completely stopped talking to me - people have a way of doing that when I argue with them - which was fine by me because Ick.

In the scene in question our distasteful male lead, Noah, decides he wants to go out with Allie, the equally unpleasant female lead. She says no, as is her right, and like the mature, responsible adult he isn't, Noah threatens suicide until she agrees to go out with him. Literally, he follows her and another guy onto a Ferris wheel to pester her about going out with him, starts climbing down the framework of the ride when the operator tells him there can only be two people per box, then just hangs there by one hand until she agrees to go out with him. Once the drama is over and everyone is safe, Allie pulls down his pants and leaves him there.

Ladies and gentlemen, the couple this movie expects you to root for. “Cute” is not the word I would use to describe it.

Now, I could go through the entire movie like this, but this is a rant, not a review. So let’s just get to the point, which is that once the two officially get together, there is nothing romantic about their relationship. Three months of summer insanity later, all they’ve done is fight and have sex. She’s physically abusive, hitting and yelling at him constantly, and he’s emotionally abusive, manipulating her and not even pretending to care about her feelings: quite the contrary, he admits that he doesn’t care about how she feels. The narrator outright says that they never agreed on anything and fought about everything - or words to that effect - but we’re supposed to accept it as love because of a few kisses. I’m sorry, but the only “love” I’m seeing in this relationship is the Undertale kind - otherwise known as Levels Of ViolencE.

I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.

So we have a lot of fighting and blatant disregard for each other’s feelings. Now let’s look at how freaking obsessive Noah is. Like everything else in this monstrosity of a movie, it’s supposed to be romantic that when the leads are separated, he spends seven years wanting her, and writes her letters every day for that first year. It’s supposed to be romantic that, instead of moving on with his life, he buys the house Allie once called her dream house and has it fixed up. The fact that he’s a drunk who sleeps with another girl “because he’s lonely” is irrelevant in the face of his Undying Love that has him still wanting the same girl after not even seeing her in seven years.

And Allie? Well, she actually did move on, and got engaged to a man she’s actually happy with. But you know what? This movie isn’t done corrupting basic moral standards yet, and so romanticizes cheating on one’s partner! Oh yes. In fairness Noah is being a selfish, manipulative bastard, but... Yeah, you know what, they’re both scummy excuses for decent human beings. She dumps her fiance, who has to learn from her father that she’s not coming back, and then... That’s it! No one objects to the leads being together. The exes are fine with it, the families are fine with it, and all of that cheating and lying and manipulation is just rewarded.

That is probably the worst part of this movie: they hurt everyone around them - as well as each other - but at the end of the day it’s just, eh, whatever. Here’s your happy ending. Except it’s not a happy ending, because on top of everything else, we’re supposed to believe that these two idiots would have let each other live long enough for them to hit old age and die together. It’s a sappy cliche turned into something unholy by the context of the relationship, and it would never happen in any except the most twisted of fantasies, because people like that? They get divorced. Or they commit murder. Possibly a murder-suicide if they’re especially unbalanced. The point is, there is no happy ending for a couple who, for all intents and purposes, hate each other. They would be fucking miserable together.

And that is the general gist of The Notebook: a Tale of Obsession and Lust. Taking its place as one of the absolute worst love stories I have ever had the misfortune to to be aware of.

[borisbubbles]

35. ROMANIA

The Humans - “Goodbye” 27th place

What is this morbid Death Cult shit? The mannequins, 

the ridiculous choreography,

the MASKS,

You know, I'd almost rank Romania high because their staging comically missed the mark. The aim was to appear earnest and meaningful, but in reality they just looked like absolute fucking plonkers <3 Unfortunately for The Humans, they entered Eurovision with "Goodbye", which is a *dreadful* song. The intentions were noble & all, but the execution, ick. Apparently one is supposed to raise awareness of Mental Health Problems and prevent suicide by... actively asking depressed people why they're feeling sad????? . . .

Have these people ever MET a depressed person before?? For a group so determined to show what life with mental health problems is like, The Humans show a shocking disregard for how to treat a clinical depression. Grousing people with "WHY DON'T YOU SEE THE BEAUTY OF THIS PRECIOUS GIFT WE HAVE" and "ALL THE HAPPINESS THAT - BY THE WAY - IS ALL FOR FREE"... thanks for rubbing in I feel like shit for no fucking reason you stupid, stupid human being!! If depression simply went away by pointing out to people they can be happy too, there wouldn't be any fucking depressed people would there???? STOP ROMANTICIZING MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS!!

Melodically, the song is a disaster as well. It starts of as an insipid charity ballad and then transposes into an even more insipid rock song, complete with Cristina's primal *yell*egy setting an atmosphere which can only be described as saddening. 

In other words, "Goodbye" completely FAILS at its anti-depression intent. It admonishes people in a depression and minimizes their issues. The irony is that frivolous, fickle, fast food Feli was by far the better anti-depression entrant, since listening to "Royalty" makes people happy, while "Goodbye" only makes the unfortunate listeners more depressed and angry with the world. Goodbye, Romania. 

RANKING: 

35. Romania (The Humans - "Goodbye")

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together")

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mickolas Josef - “Lie to me”)