#rome can try to get out all he wants but the cycles are called cycles for a reason

[nerdofspades]

Okay. DP x DC idea. What if the League met Fenton before they met Phantom. Not in a ghost fight. Not doing anything particularly weird. Just Danny Fenton trying his best.

When they first notice the ghosts of Amity Park they all get a little worried about it, but no one can beat out Batman's paranoia. Ghosts may not have caused too many problems outside of Amity yet, but he doesn't trust that to stay that way. So he researches.

He, of course, finds out about Phantom, but shelves his usual just-in-case-he-turns-evil plans until after he can get some ghostly experts to brief the League. He does some cursory research into Phantom's history and abilities, which of course drags up everything in the Amity News cycle and some references in both Ancient Egypt and Ancient Rome. (So Batsy gives up on the idea of finding out a human civilian identity. Kid's dead and his "life" has been lost to time until he decides to say something.)

But, more importantly, there are no good options for who to ask for lessons in ghost hunting.

First option: the GIW. Absolute morons who have never caught anything stronger than an ectopus, cause more damage to property than the ghosts, and have security so lax it doesn't even take Batman ten seconds to get in. Absolutely not. Not for the watch tower.

Second option: Vlad Co. Owned and operated by billionaire Vlad Masters who runs in the same social circles as Lex Luthor. He has better security than the GIW but the question with him is not whether or not he *could* keep the secret, but whether or not he *would.*

Third option: Dr.s Fenton of FentonWorks. They have the most cutting edge ghost hunting technology and the most published papers. But. Well. A brief survey of the town makes it very clear they are biased at best and bigoted at worst. Not something the League wants to associate with, but they are still the best of the bad options.

Or so they think until Bruce Wayne goes to open contact with them and notices the Fenton children. He knew about them before coming of course. Jasmine Fenton, top of her class with a full ride to Harvard and plans to major in psychology. Has historically been vocal about her distaste for her parent's work. Likely because of Danny. Daniel Fenton is a trouble maker barely scraping by in his classes that had an accident in his parents lab a year ago. Not the brightest and not well behaved, but by all accounts he's got a good heart.

And neither of then are very enthused about his presence in their home. Neither of them seem to care for their parents anti-ghost rhetoric either. Jazz tries to reason with them and Danny just rolls his eyes behind their back. And casually takes apart and fixes one of their inventions.

Bruce quickly makes a minor investing deal with the elder Fentons as cover and a quick way to keep and eye on their research and finds an excuse to get the kids out of the house to talk. Once out, he extends the Justice League's request for training with ghost hunting gear and a project to install anti-ecto security measures in their base(s). Danny is hesitant but agrees.

And Danny is so tired and so done with this crap when he's in the Watch Tower. (He's enamored with the space station for several minutes, but once he gets on track, the League think he's a mini Bruce. All business and telling them not to be idiots.)

He gives them a basic run down of what each item is and how to use it. Common ghostly abilities and power scaling. (Do not call him to consult on a blob ghost, ectopus, or other weak ghostly animal. But they are not to try and fight several of the stronger ghost. A fair amount of this tech will make their afterlives miserable, but won't actually do much beyond annoy them. Superman in particular should stay away from anything strong enough to overshadow. No one wants to fight a possessed Kryptonian.) He gives them plenty of thermoses, guns, nets, and specter deflectors plus some odds and ends for them to test out. And then he starts working on the shield, which he worked on with Tucker to upgrade so it would recognize his ecto signature as friendly (and a couple others like Clockwork, Pandora, Frostbite, and Wulf) so it wouldn't shoot him on the spot.

It would probably take several trips to get everything working properly, by which point Danny has likely made friends with a few League members. And a few of them have probably noticed something weird about him, but they ignore it cause he's a good kid and it's just a little weird. Won't hurt anything.

Constantine takes one look at the kid and is not seen again until months after he finally leaves.

But now they have working ghost defenses and they can protect people if a ghost tries to attack anywhere outside of Amity! (Yes, several ask Danny to install a shield at their personal hideouts as well. Batman tries to figure it out on his own and decides to just ask Danny for now. He'll figure it out eventually, but Fenton schematics are a pain and the power source doesn't look like anything he's ever seen before.)

Eventually everything is done and Danny goes back to his life with a large chunk of cash in his new bank account and a secure line just incase the league needs to consult with him again. Danny thinks that's the end of it until Batman shows up decked out in Fenton gear looking for Phantom.

Continue

[irelandseyeonmythology]

Ok so I’m getting into the Fenian cycle and just read the palace/hostel of the quicken/Rowan trees, and I love it but there are a couple things that i’ve been trying to research to better understand it and I’m just not getting results. Who is the King of the World? The Lochlanns are the Fomorians, right? And where is the isle of the torrent?

Thank you for the ask! It's coming at a very opportune time as I've been diving into the world of the Fianna myself. (If you sent this to me a couple of years ago, I'd have been a little stumped even if I'd have done my best.)

So you sent this to me...ages ago, and I was at the Gaeltacht at the time, so I was typing up my response in Irish to be translated and. I. Went out of the window. And it hadn't been saved. And I was so depressed that I didn't want to go back to it until I had sufficiently mourned.

...but you can breathe a sigh of relief since, now that I'm no longer in the Gaeltacht, we are not bound by the custom of "when I'm there, I write only in Irish."

So, first off...let's go with Lochlann: What is Lochlann, who are the men of Lochlann? In Cath Maige Tuired, you're right, they're absolutely associated with the Fomoire, BUT! The reason why they're associated with the Fomoire is because there were real-life invaders from Lochlann, that is to say, Scandinavian or Scandinavian occupied territory (in CMT, the Fomoire are actually in what is today Scotland, Balor being situated on the Hebrides, which means that....yes....it is entirely possible to do a How to Train Your Dragon/CMT crossover if you desired. And yes, I have put too much thought into the logistics of that crossover, including the dangers of giving Bres access to a dragon.) The decision to situate the Fomoire on Lochlann was a political move, as a way of highlighting Ireland's political situation at the time it was composed. ("Lochlann" is still the modern name for Norway.)

In other texts, especially later texts, we see Lochlann often associated with far away, exotic, supernatural, and/or dangerous places, in the same way that Greece is often used to indicate someplace far away or exotic. (It makes sense -- how many Irish people living in, say, the 14th-15th century would have imagined traveling to Norway in the time before Aer Lingus?)

You can see this in, for example, the little known Late Middle/Early Modern Irish-ish (the dating is weird on this one) prosymetric text, "Aithed Emere (le Tuir nGlesta mac Rig Lochlann)", where Emer elopes with...Tuir Glesta, son of the King of "Lochlann". (Translated as "Norway" most of the time in descriptions, but I prefer keeping the term "Lochlann", because it's always the question of...is this the Real World Country, Lochlann, or is this the Cool Folklore Lochlann where Zany Adventures Happen, you know? I don't feel like "Norway" captures all of the different possibilities that the word implies.)

Now, since this, according to Thurneysen at least, didn't go back to before the 12th century, it was created well after CMT, well after the Battle of Clontarf and the final assimilation/ousting of the Vikings from Ireland. The Vikings are...chill by now. They aren't an active threat. So we have to ask ourselves: Why is Emer eloping with Tuir Glesta? It could be the result of an earlier tradition, sure, but I think it's more likely that we're not meant to think of Lochlann as "Fomoire land" or "Viking land", but "exotic, far away place for Cú Chulainn to voyage to in order to get his wife back." In Cath Muighe Tuireadh Cunga, there's a figure called "Aengaba of Lochlann", and there's no sign that he's a Fomoire, rather it seems that we're meant to view him as a sort of foreign champion. (It's interesting that in the Early Modern CMT, meanwhile, the Fomoire don't come from Lochlann, but from Africa. White supremacists have obviously gone ham with this but I've had at least one prominent person in the field suggest to me that it could be a means of drawing a Carthage-Rome dichotomy between the TDD and the Fomoire. And, of course, as I love to point out, if the Fomoire come from Africa = the Fomoire are black, then by that logic, Bres, Lugh, Fionn mac Cumhaill, the Dagda, Ogma, Bríg, Lír, Manannán, Emer, Cú Chulainn, Cairbre, Óengus, Bodb Dearg, etc. etc. etc. are all mixed race, which is a change I for one would be happy with but I suspect they would not be. Not that logic matters all that much to that crowd, especially since the only figures to routinely be presented as brown are Balor, Bres, Cethlenn, and the Fir Bolg, funny how that works.) And of course, when I was talking to a local on Tory Island, he said that the old people "confused the English for the Fomorians" (paraphrased) -- I don't believe the old people were confused at all, though, I believe that it only made sense for the Fomoire to become English, since they're always the people Over There, and Over There can be Lochlann, it can be Africa, and it can be England. Balor goes from being a Viking warlord to an English landlord, because why wouldn't he?

NOW, off of my soap box about the racist clusterfuck that is most adaptations of the Fir Bolg/Tuatha Dé/Fomoire rivalry and back to your question, Bruidhean (an) chaorthainn, "Hostel of the Rowan Trees", is about 15th/16th century in date, so we're looking well after the time the Vikings were a threat, so "Lochlann" here is very much Fun Zany Lochlann, not Actual Country Norway.

And we see this in a lot of Fionn Cycle tales, men from Lochlann opposing the Fianna, Fionn courting women in Lochlann and facing a series of trials, men from Lochlann imprisoning the Fianna in bruidhean tales. It's very much a trope, and it has next to nothing to do with the historical location. It's a place Over There, it's a place that has something our heroes need to get, or it's a place that is threatening what they already have. The people who live there are invariable dangerous, often supernatural, and more than a match for our heroes, even though they are, inevitably, overcome, though sometimes at great cost. The Men of Lochlann in these tales and the Fomoire have a lot in common, you could even argue that the Fomoire of CMT are even the Men of Lochlanns' literary great grandfathers, in the sense that it is, at least partially, a 9th century anxiety over Scandinavia that's been fossilized into the folklore up to the present, but they aren't the same, except for the fact that they both often represent the dark side of the supernatural, which the Tuatha Dé can often represent as well. (And indeed, as John Carey's argued, the difference between the TDD and the Fomoire is often minimal.) The Tuatha Dé and the Fomoire in and of themselves appear little in modern folkloric stories, at least....how they appear in the Mythological Cycle (indeed, Óengus is often relegated to being a wizard instead of a member of the TDD in folkloric variants of Tóruigheacht Dhiarmada and Ghráinne.) Manannán survives better than most, as does Bodb Dearg, but the truth is that there was a certain...anxiety about it that you can detect in the folklore. The term "Fomor" develops three meanings from the Early Modern Irish period -- the guys that we know and love, a generic ogre or giant (which is how it's often used now), and a churl or servant, which further complicates things.

Besides Bruíon Chaorthainn, you can also see examples of Zany Folklore Lochlann showing up in Fenian folklore in Soraidh Fhinn go Tír Lochlainn ("Fionn's Wooing in Lochlann"), Laoi an Airghinn Mhóir ("The Lay of Airgheann the Great") (which, besides being very alive in the folklore, also goes back at least as far as Duanaire Finn, which was compiled in the 15th century), Laoi Chath Gabhra ("The Lay of the Battle of Gabhair") (which is interesting for having the son of the king of Lochlann on the Fianna's side for once), Duan na Cloinne ("The Lay of the Children"), Comhrag Fhinn agus Mhanuis ("The Combat Between Fionn and Magnus") (our boy Magnus, son of the King of Lochlann, also appears in Soraidh Fhinn go Tír Lochlainn), Laoidh Maodh-Chabir agus Chamagich ("The Lay of Maodh-Chabir and Camagich") (for SEXY Zany Folkloric Lochlann), An Cú Glas ("The Grey Dog"), which the Fionn Folklore Database actually did a reel about on their Facebook/Instagram if I'm not mistaken, Bratach Fhinn (Fionn’s Banner), and Duan nan Naonar (The Lay of the Nine). I'm *sure* there are other legends out there, these are just the ones I was able to immediately track down.

So, that's covered. Now, who is the King of the World? And the answer is that, like Magnus, he's a recurring antagonist we sometimes see pop up. In Bruíon Chaorthainn, he's the king of Lochlann who tries to invade Ireland. Meanwhile, in Cath Fionntrá, which has a lay form of it in the Book of the Dean of Lismore (a Scottish compilation, incidentally, from the 16th century, showing how bound up all these traditions are from an early date) and, besides that, has Irish manuscript attestations going back to at least the 15th century, the "King of the World" is a full-fledged antagonist named Dáire Donn, who forms an alliance with kings across Europe to invade Ireland. (Here's the older text here, and the info on it here.) We see a sort of sequel to it in the modern Irish tale “The romance of Mis and Dubh Ruis” where Dáire has a daughter, Mis, who becomes a madwoman in the woods after his death and is sexed back to sanity by Dubh Rois. (It is...surprisingly funny, honestly.) Which is in Celtic Heroic Age. But what you can gather by him being King of Lochlann is also that he's...the Guy Over There (Who Wants To Come Here.) Even beyond personalities, that's it. You can compare him to the King of Greece in Duan Gharbh Mhic Stairn ("The Lay of Garbh son of Stairn"). The difference between a king of Greece and a king of Lochlann isn't that great, what matters is that he's Over There and that he's trying to invade us.

The Isle of the Torrent (Inse Tuile) is another one of those otherworldly, supernatural places where Things Are Weird. You can compare it, for early examples, to the islands you see in the Immrama genre, but you can also compare it to the various weird islands you come across in other stories, like in Nighean Righ fo Thuinn ("The Daughter of the King Under the Waves"), which has "Magh an Iongnaidh" (the Plain of Wonder). And obviously, you could tie this into the world of the Otherworld being located beyond the sea (which is a later idea; the early material seems to indicate, firmly, that the Otherworld was *below*, not *beyond*), but I think it just goes from the idea that you need your heroes to travel on a quest to get something -- you can trace it as far back as the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Odyssey, Jason and the Golden Fleece, etc. People like a good adventure yarn. People like to have their heroes go to exotic lands filled with supernatural danger (where things There don't work the way they do Here), they like to face off against dangerous villains and arrive home just in time to save the day, you know? I will note that Goethe's "Der König in Thule" was translated, into Irish, as "Rí Inse Tuile" -- Thule was a magical island in classical times, it was well known to Irish monks as early as the ninth century; it appears in Beatha Bréandain, the Life of St. Brendan, so it's not inconceivable it could have been worked into the Irish tradition, especially since the variant of it that was translated is a literary composition, not necessarily the story 100% as it appears in oral literature. I'd like to explore that possible connection more down the line, but all I can say right now is that it's an interesting coincidence -- my suspicion for it being literary is further increased by the fact that this is not a name you generally see in the oral literature, but I won't go further than that. "Tuile" in Irish does mean "flood" or "flow", so it could just be a strange coincidence, of course, but...it's odd. It's odd.

Anyway, all that, and where are we?

A lot of Irish folklore and Irish lit are dealing with Us VS Them, the idea of the People Over There VS the People Over Here (which makes sense because of...centuries of People Over There sailing over, first the Vikings, then the Normans, then the Tudors, then Cromwell, etc. etc. etc. etc. Not to reduce an entire complex literary tradition that spans multiple continents to a Just So story, and there are a lot of stories that obviously DON'T feature this theme, but I don't think it hurts.) (And Scottish lit, of course, also gets into it, partially due to transmission, partially because of their own history of Guys Over There coming to take things from Guys Over Here, which also got transmitted to Canada via the diaspora.)

Who are the Lochlannaigh? The Guys Over There.

Who are the Fomoire? Also the Guys Over There, but not always overlapping. (Not all Fomoire at all stages of the literature are Lochlannaigh, not all Lochlannaigh are Fomoire.)

Who is Rí an Domhain? The Ruler Over There Who Wants To Come Over Here.

And where is Inse Tuile? Over There, but the name itself is strange.

I hope this makes sense in some way!

[heloflor]

Me : “I don’t think I should write characters that are explicitly neurodivergent because I don’t know that much about neurodiversity and I never take the time to know more. If I were to make a character who happens to have neurodivergent traits and call them neurodivergent, I might get it wrong and I don’t want to give a fic with bad or stereotypical representation in it, it’s unfair for those who can and wish to identify with the character. So if I write about a character that the fandom sees as neurodivergent, I will simply try to write them close to their canon personality; and if they happen to have traits that people can identify, I’ll just let other people do their own headacanons around it without touching on the topic myself.”

Also me :  “So :

- Vinnie Dakota absolutely adores animals. In the future, all animals are extinct, so in order to see animals, you either get a robot pet or you pay to have some time in a “place simulation” room and order it to simulate a field with holographic animals. Dakota learned about animals through books and often went to the simulation place or bough some stickers and other stuff from the rare places that still sold animal merch. He never got a robotic pet or never kept it for long because it’s too dull compared to a real animal, or should I say his thoughts of real animals.

- During his first mission, Dakota was ecstatic to see animals for the first time and, after the mission, spent a few hours looking at and petting the ones he could. In his house in the future, he has a room in which he displays animal-related stuff he got from his missions through time, like art or figurines or ornaments or even plushies etc. He might also sometimes take pictures of animals and put them with the souvenir he got from the same mission. He takes extra care of the stuff he has in this room and organizes it a certain way. He has the money to have a place with several rooms : as we see in “Picture Day”, once they got fired, Cavendish and Dakota had the money to go to Hawaii for an entire week and without knowing when and how they will get a new job, since Bob Block met them as they were about to leave for their vacation. Also Cavendish mentioned studying for 20 cycles, so this job doesn’t seem like a given. So being a time traveler seems to pay well.

- When he and Cavendish started dating (I headcanon them as starting to date 2 years after meeting a marrying 3 years later, so 5 years after meeting), everytime they went through a century they never or barely visited, Dakota would get a random souvenir, not always animal-related, along with a picture of either him, Cavendish or both of them. He puts these souvenirs and pictures in a different part of the room. The picture we see in their car in “Fungus Among Us” is from a mission in a place they visited before, but Dakota found the situation too funny to not take a picture.

- Every celebration (holidays, birthdays, dates important to them), Cavendish and Dakota would give each other gifts. Dakota always tries to find something related to Professor Time while Cavendish forces himself to break a few rules and go back in time without being ordered to so he can find something animal-related to Dakota. Dakota is always genuinely happy about these gifts, though he learned not to tease Cavendish about the whole “breaking the rules” situation. Those gifts are either stuff like fossils or skulls/bones or they’re stuff related to the culture of the time-period like watching tournaments in ancient Rome.

- When the two get married and buy a place together, Dakota makes sure it has a room large enough to put his growing collection. As time went by, it started to be less about animals and more about what they find during their missions, though the animal part is still very much there. Dakota refers to the room as “The memory room” while Cavendish calls it “Vinnie’s room”. Cavendish doesn’t spend that much time in it, though he absolutely loves the feeling of reminiscence the collection gives him. If he has guests at home, he tries to keep them away from the room. He knows how important it is for Dakota and doesn’t want it to be disrupted. Cavendish tried to get into Dakota’s passion but, while he found some stuff to be interesting, he’s not really into it compared to Dakota.

- After the events of the episode “We’re Going to the Zoo”, Dakota brought back tickets for his collection, along with a picture of him holding squirrels in his arms while another one has its head coming out of Dakota’s pants, near his feet. Dakota went back to the zoo several times and ended up learning what every animal was and in which section of the zoo they were.

- When the two are fired and banned, they only get like an hour to pack all their stuff. So Dakota uses some future deus ex machina technology, making their house surrounded by a barrier that only the two of them can open. That way, nobody can touch the house and, if they were to be able to go back to the future, which seems to be the case if season 2 was already thought of when “A Christmas Peril” was made, Dakota could find his collection intact, along with the rest of the house.

- Once stuck in the past, Dakota kind of gave up on doing a collection. They don’t have enough space and the realization that Cavendish could now die anytime put a lot on stress on him and most of his thoughts were on Cavendish. This stress started to dim out after the events of the second half of the season, when Dakota realized that maybe the world was done trying to get rid of Cavendish, given how the man was able to survive alone for about a month. During the first celebration they had since getting banned, Cavendish bought something animal-related as usual and it led Dakota to wish to start a collection again. Given the space and their current situation, this collection would mostly be pictures that he can keep in an album in a drawer. Cavendish would probably be the one to buy the album after realizing that Dakota started taking random pictures again.

- At some point, Cavendish learns that there’s a petting zoo in Danville and decides to use it as a birthday gift/surprise. Dakota has never been more in love with him than during the moment when he stepped out of the car and saw the place’s sign (with the exception of their wedding and honeymoon).

 …aaaannnd I just made Dakota have an hyperfixation, didn’t I ?

Though, to be honest, I really do want to write characters that are diverse, not only in terms of sexuality like I already do but also in upbringing and neurodiversity. Thing is, to write a neurodivergent character, I need to have the answer to these questions : How often do they stim ? What are the most common stims and what is and isn’t considered as such, aka what does the character does in the show that seems to be a stim ? How does the character acts/should act with others ? Which social cues do they understand ? Which ones do they not understand ? How to write a character that you can tell is neurodivergent without having to make them scream ‘I’m not neurotypical’; with instead having the only ‘confirmation’ of it being in the tags ? How to make them very excited about something without falling into the ‘autistic people are children’ stereotype ?

As long as I can’t answer these questions, I refuse to be an idiot and try to write about something I know I will mess up. And while I do have the curiosity and will to learn more, if not simply because I’m curious about neurodiversity, don’t expect me to write about it anytime soon. Right now my priority is to ‘digitalize’ all the dozen fics I wrote on paper (two of them had been in my writing pile for two years, and several for a year) while making the eventual post that comes to mind like this one.”

Edit : So a few weeks after making that post, I started to learn more about neurodiversity because being autistic makes you curious to know what kinds of behaviors are due to you not being neurotypical. And, as it had been pointed out, I’m not using the correct term here. I didn’t give Dakota a hyperfixation but a special interest. From what I understand, the difference is that hyperfixations stick to you constantly for a while (a few weeks or months), leading you to easily hyperfocus on the topic, before you suddenly start to get less invested in that interest. On the other hand, special interests can stick for months or sometimes years. And even if you’re not constantly thinking about your interest, it’s still there in a corner of your mind and you never get tired of it and keep the knowledge you accumulated to talk about it anytime.

So yeah, I gave Dakota a special interest. The reason why I thought it was a hyperfixation is because I see this term be very often associated with ADHD and a lot of people see Dakota as having ADHD. But still, my bad for mixing up the two. And the reason I didn’t edit the post sooner is because it kind of slipped out of my mind until I made a new post today that mentions this one. Sorry for that too.

[beenjen]

Lately I feel very surface. That makes complete sense in my head. That I’m only skimming the top of things, not fully investing in anything, conversations, etc, and my mind is spread too thin, with focus all over the place.

It was so bizarre too, because I hadn’t quite put my finger on it, just felt oddly disconnected? Any who, I signed up for a virtual yoga class during my lunch break, one I didn’t really want to do, and at the opening, the instructor started with this spiel about how she is experiencing the same thing. What?!?

With her, she’s playing on her phone while with her fiancé, letting her mind wander during practice or meditation, not really present 100% for anything. She described it as this mental fatigue? And that made SO MUCH SENSE. Like when your toddler is so tired, but they are fighting sleep so hard, shaking their head, or talking gibberish, anything to keep awake... us just doing dumb shit to keep the mind busy so we don’t have to think too much about what is or is not happening right now.

She goes on and has us sit in this guided meditation, and says the most profound shit I have heard all week. ‘Let yourself have this time, to be present, in the now, for this break. For your mind, for your body, for everything. It’s alright. Let go.’ Fuck. I have to be honest here, because I haven’t been ‘letting go’ for months. I started pretty solid, but for a while, I have been checking my phone during wrap up, having to call into meetings while trying to practice my class, not giving anything my all, at anytime. I’ve been doing it at work and my personal life too, this is just yoga centric at the moment.

So today, I didn’t touch my phone or look at my Apple Watch for the entire class. I didn’t call into my work ‘meeting’ - gasp - I just sat there. I posed. I took deep breaths. I meditated. Really meditated. It was fabulous. Then I left my phone in another room while I finished working, left it in the kitchen during dinner, cooked without my headphones in listening to a podcast, it was resetting.

I have noticed I’m trying harder and harder to have one on one time with the kids, where I’m not on the phone for social media or music or anything, and they have responded well to it, why wouldn’t I?

I also started taking the collagen. It’s been a couple days, so no telling if it’ll make any difference, I’m going to give it a solid 3 months. I’ve been deficient for probably years and Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I also really focused on my eating today, making sure all my snacks were veggies and cooking a heavy veggie dinner. I’ve been lax lately and while I really haven’t gained, I can tell I don’t feel as well. I’m tired more, I’m more irritable. I’m taking that as an encouraging thing that this is a positive nutritional plan for me, and I really need to keep with it and on it, even when I would rather not.

Then hubs and I did a short HIIT workout together in the living room with the kids. Let me tell you, doing HIIT, swinging a 20 pound 2 year old up and down is WAY more intense a workout than not. Just throwing that out there.

I’m getting back to the basics. During the warmer/summer months, I felt peak. I was sleeping better, more patient with the kids, hubs and I were connecting more, all of it was just better balanced. I’ve since slacked off and can really tell. I’m not sure how many times I’ll need to repeat this cycle before I just do what the hell my body has been telling me it needs. Very poor adulting folks.

Instead of getting down and bummed, I’m really looking at this as an affirmation and doubling down my efforts.

- get my water in

- drink my one coffee (don’t worry, it’s a monster), then switch to hot tea

- 16/8 and 50% veg for my meals

- workout 5 or more days a week, yoga, HIIT, run and make sure to walk at least twice at work on the days I’m in clinic (helps me keep my focus and it’s healthy to get off your ass when sitting and typing for hours)

That’s it for now. Making sleeping goals seems stupid when you have kids to be honest. Although I know many of you have perfect sleeping angels and they’ve slept through the night since they were 3 months, J didn’t start sleeping > 2-4 hour stretches until he was 4, and Lilith has slept through the night maybe 5 times, and she’s 2 (before anyone gives me any advice, which I completely appreciate the intention, know that we have tried EVERYTHING. There is a diagnosis and it runs in our families, and we are the lucky ones with kids who do not require the same amount of sleep as other kids [though Lilith is miles better than Jamis]), It’s just not a realistic goal to get 8 hours of sleep and I’m on the ‘this can happen express.’

I’m done setting unrealistic goals, the days where Jen was all, ‘I’ll lose 10 pounds every month and be a beast from hence forward’ is a beat ass Jen, that has made tons of progress I am proud of, but has to be honest, that with the schedule as it is, some of my expectations were lofty to say the least, and completely unhinged to spell it out.

So. Here we are. I’m a 39 year old married mom of 2, who probably works 60-80 hours a week, took on a bit much signing up for yoga teacher training, but finished that shit anyways, who is getting her mom situated on oral chemo for the duration, who has to make an appointment with a geneticist for my own cancer risk shit, and while I’m not going to make excuses and cop out, I’m also going to be on gentle cycle for the next bit (longest run-on sentence ever 💪🏼).

Practice loving kindness my dears xx

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 1: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

A Bite to Remember | @darmysasagiri

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1104 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Alpha, Top Cas/Bottom Dean, Mating Bites, One Night Stands Summary: Alphas can't mate Alphas, everyone knows this, or do they?

Oblivious Mates | @fangirlingtodeath513

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1984 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester,Castiel (Supernatural),Dean Winchester,Knotting,Mating Cycles/In Heat,Heat Sex,Rut Sex,A/B/O,Friends With Benefits,Consensual Somnophilia,Mating Bites,Misunderstandings,Lack of Communication,Fuckbuddies,Spooning,Cuddling & Snuggling,Naked Cuddling,True Mates,Scenting Summary: Dean and Cas have been heat/rut fuck buddies for a while now, but Dean's starting to get second thoughts. His feelings evolved a long time ago but now he's feeling guilty about holding Castiel back from finding his true mate.

Sun Warmed | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2586 Main Tags/Warnings: alpha Cas, omega Dean, first meeting, house-sitting, a bit of voyeurism Summary: Dean is a little bitter, but only in the safety and privacy of his own head, and definitely never around his brother and his new sister-in-law. Because those two really do deserve all the happiness in the world. And just because Dean wishes for a little happiness for himself, he will not ruin their bliss. The thing that’s a little hard on Dean, lately, is that during the past few months, Sam and Eileen’s new house somehow started to feel more like home than his own apartment does. He’s not even over that much, but he feels so safe and good and happy, here. It’s a space he feels like himself in, and it’s not really the company, it feels more like the energy around their house, the amazing smell seemingly haunting Dean when he drives back home and slowly loses it. He’s not sure which flowers Eileen planted that smell this way, but he’s been meaning to ask her for months. Currently, Sam and Eileen are in Hawaii for their honeymoon and Dean gets daily selfie updates while he house-sits for them. And somehow, during all of that and while accidentally flashing a guy, he figures out where that amazing smell comes from.

Essential Services | @Imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3444 Main Tags/Warnings: Roommates, omegaverse, explicit sex, top Cas/bottom Dean, alpha Cas, Omega Dean, mating bites, quarantine, pandemic, heat/rut sex Summary: Cas has been sent home to work as an unessential service. When he arrives, he realizes his roommate Dean clearly wasn't expect him to arrive. What happens when they finally give in to each other?

Kiss Me, Kill Me | @saltnhalo

Rating: Mature Word Count: 4668 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Assassin Castiel (Supernatural), Guard Dean Winchester, Assassin Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, True Mates, Scenting, BAMF Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Murder Husbands Summary: Seasoned hitman Castiel Novak is just looking to take out his target and get paid, but should've accounted for the fact that he may not be the only assassin at tonight's party... Cue the mysterious, green-eyed man who is more of a match for Castiel than anyone he's ever met.

Up On The Rooftop Greenhouse | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5017 Main Tags/Warnings: alpha!michael, omega!dean, Beta!Castiel, Arranged Marriage, truemates, defying truemates, fighting destiny, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Kisses, Wedding ceremonies, pack houses, mentions of potential abuse of power Summary: Michael Shurley is Dean Winchester's true mate. Except, Dean has been in love and dating the Winchester house gardener, Castiel Novak, for nearly three years and Dean doesn't want that to stop. He needs to find a way out of the impending wedding before it's too late, especially when Michael shows his true colours.

A Strange Place To Find Love | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6159 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Heats, ruts. Knotting. Happy Ending Summary: The Alpha/omega Rut/heat Center was the brainchild of a ‘more progressive, more caring’ government. In reality, it was just a way to stop Alphas from jumping unmated omegas when they were in rut, and to stop unmated omegas from getting knocked up during a heat by some Alpha they picked up, then having to go on welfare because the Alpha wouldn’t pay pup support. Dean Winchester worked for the center as a willing omega. Castiel Novak decided to give it a try.

Steel and Whiskey | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6207 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Mafia AU, Mobster Castiel, Mobster Dean Winchester, Mistaken Identity, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, Topping from the Bottom, Knotting, First Meetings, BAMF Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural) Summary: When Castiel agrees to meet with the leader of the Winchester pack in the heart of his territory, he does not find the alpha he’s expecting. Instead, he meets an omega in Dean Winchester’s apartment with stunning green eyes and an alluring air of danger. Someone should have warned Castiel that the Winchester leader is not an alpha.

Just Here For A Good Night | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6646 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fraternities & Sororities, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Team Dean's Red Ass, Dom/sub Undertones, Dom Castiel, Fluff, Frat Boy Castiel Summary: In which Dean is looking to get laid at an Alpha Phi Alpha party, and sets his sights on Castiel, who's just trying to make sure that nothing bad happens on his watch.

Are You Real, Dean Winchester? | Maleyah (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7447 Main Tags/Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements (not between Dean and Cas), Mental Health Issues, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Mating Bond, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Medication, Near overdose, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hallucinations Summary: Castiel struggles to survive in a world that was never right for him to begin with. So far, he has always survived his turbulent mind... because despite everything, his broken brain, his loneliness, the never-ending struggle, he's a fighter. One night, exceptionally reckless, borderline overdosed on his meds, he wanders the streets, foregoing his self-preservation. Hoping for the end, almost finding it, unless his brain is throwing him for a loop again. ... Only to be found by Dean Winchester.

Did you get my reference? (WIP) | @spnsmile

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8918 Main Tags/Warnings: Top dean w/ bottom castiel, explicit Summary: Take Dean, most handsome CEO with very pretty face and just your typical successful Alpha who owns his own company at the age of 30. But despite popular belief, Dean has one problem he needs to solve before an international conference: he hates the smell of unmated Omegas. Come Castiel, a clumsy word-class geek literature major who appeared in front of Dean in the middle of a raging river. His scent drives Dean's instinct to bite, plus he gets rid of all other scents in the air. Now Dean only has to convince him to be his plus one. Which means having a talking encyclopedia who trips in its own legs. How can Dean protect his high-wired True Mate from other Alphas and himself?

It's A Hard Knot Life | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10874 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Punk Castiel, Rape, Tattoos. Knotting Summary: Dean walked up the counter and his nose was filled with the scent of peticior and sandalwood. He took a deep breath. The guy never looked up. Dean cleared his throat. Nothing. He rapped his knuckles on the counter. The guy didn’t look up, but he said, in a gravelly voice that gave Dean shivers, “Yeah?” “I was wondering if you had the latest CD by St Paul and the Broken Bones?” The guy looked up and Dean found himself looking into eyes so blue, he didn’t have a name for the color. The black eyeliner just accentuated their color. “We have a system here for finding things. It’s called alphabetically, you may have heard of it? That means the S’s are right between the R’s and the T’s.” Then he went right back to reading his book.

Black Rose Tattoo | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10989 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Tattoo Artist Castiel (Supernatural), Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor. Explicit Sexual Content, Knotting, Pups, Dean is demisexual Summary: Dean heard the motorcycle before he saw it. He looked out the big front window of his shop, and waited until the cycle appeared. He watched the Alpha pull to the curb, stop the bike, get off and take off his helmet. He’d watched the same scene every day since he’d opened the flower shop next to the tattoo parlor. The Alpha shook his perpetually messy hair and walked to open his shop, out of Dean’s view. Dean sighed and went back to work.

Palaces of Rome (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11291 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester/Alpha Gabriel, Alpha/Alpha pairing, Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, BAMF Castiel, BAMF Gabriel Summary: Despite his size and his father's expectations, Dean presented as an omega. Infertile, male omegas have no rights in Rome, so John arranges to sell him to the son of the Emperor in an attempt to provide his alpha son, Sam, a better life. Sam joins the army under General Gabriel's expert tutelage, swearing to become a warrior famous enough to buy his brother back. Dean accepts his place in the prince's harem, but he's about to stumble upon the biggest secret in Rome, one that has kept hundreds of thousands of male omegas enslaved for almost eight hundred years. The secret will either push Rome into an age of peace and prosperity or it will shatter one of the greatest empires in the ancient world.

Something Dark | kradarua (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16466 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Spanking, Under-negotiated Kink, Rough Sex, Rimming, Choking, Dom/sub Undertones, Thief Dean Winchester, Dark Dean Winchester, Dark Castiel, Dark Sam Winchester, Dark Charlie Bradbury, Possessive Dean Winchester, Illegal Activities, Torture, Sexual Slavery, Murder Husbands, Killer Castiel, Killer Dean Winchester, Top Dean/Bottom Castiel Summary: Castiel looked even wilder in person. Dean let his eyes roam over his (now fully clothed) form, smiling appreciatively. He inhaled deeply, curious to find no real trace of a scent. “He’s on scent blockers,” the employee explained. ""Running this auction is involved enough without having to settle claim disputes if an omega’s scent triggers some alpha’s rut.” That suited him fine; both he and Sam were on scent blockers most of the time and he’d planned on requiring that Castiel stay on them too. It helped with anonymity. “Thank you,” he said, “That will be all.” The employee gave a small bow and left to service the other high bidders. “Well, Cas,” Dean said cheerily, “Let’s go home.”

Porn and Peonies | @navajlovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20865 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe Alpha/Omega, Porn Star Dean Winchester, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg, Mating, Switching Summary: When Cas accidentally meets his favorite porn star, Dean Smith, he's thrilled. He never expects what comes next with Dean Winchester, Alpha to his omega.

Mulanatural (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 33385 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester, Beta Adam Milligan, Mulan (Disney) Summary: Dean Winchester is possibly the worst omega in his town; he's too big, too strong, and way too dominant. When the Matchmaker rejects his suit for a mate and the Huns invade China, he has to pretend to be an alpha to save his brother's life, but he may well lose his own in the process. Worse, he may dishonor his whole family.

A Symphony of Flavors | @wargurl83

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 43223 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chefs, Minor Character Death (offscreen) - Freeform, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Verse, thar be smut here, Top Cas/Bottom Dean Summary: Master Chef Castiel Novak likes his life ordered. Controlled. Sensible. He's an Alpha with no mate and no hope of finding one. His life is turned upside down with the death of his sister and taking guardianship of his nine-year-old niece, Claire. Add to that, there's a new sous chef taking up space in his very orderly kitchen with his loud music and brash attitude, and for some reason Castiel just can't take his eyes off him. Dean Winchester loves to cook, love his mom, and loves kids. His goal has been to work with Chef Novak for as long as he's been in Kansas City. What he wasn’t prepared for was an Alpha all of his own…

The Nuances of Pack Politics (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 72679 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, ,Alpha Sam Winchester, Omega Gabriel Summary: Castiel and Gabriel Novak are having a hard time fitting into their new school, constantly harassed by older alphas now that they have lost the familiar protection of their own brothers. The Pack, a group that claims to welcome and protect omegas at their high school, may offer them a chance to change all of that, as long as they can get in.

Grown-Ups Making Grown-Up Choices | @carrieosity

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 81039 Main Tags/Warnings: Humor and Fluff, Pining, Self-improvement, Self-worth issues, Comedy, Awkward Flirting, Mating, Sexual Harassment, Threatened Non-Con (brief), Healthy Relationships Summary: Dean is a grown-ass man - he can take perfectly good care of himself, thank you very much. Except that sometimes the easier or more fun choices aren't always the right or best ones, and, all right, maybe thinking ahead and working the long game isn't his strongest suit. It's fine! He's fine. When he meets Castiel, he realizes that flying by the seat of his pants may not be the best way to attract the super-serious (gorgeous, funny, genius) Alpha. Dean's shrink has been telling him he needs to start making ""grown-up choices,"" and if that's what he has to think about in order to make Cas fall for him, then he'll give it a whirl.

Celestial War (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 151571 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean/Omega Castiel, Alpha Sam/Omega Gabriel, Alpha Crowley/Omega Balthazar, Mating Cycles/In Heat Summary: The three tribes--Celestial, Wilderness, and Spellbound--have been at an uneasy stalemate for generations, but a prophecy about four omegas could bring about a full-scale war that will destroy them all.

don't care where you've been (WIP) | @thanks-tacos

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 240842 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Dean, Alpha Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Past Rape/Non-con, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Arranged Marriage, Abused Dean Winchester, Caring Castiel, Happy Ending, full tag list in the fic Summary: Dean's life is finally changing. After years of enduring Alastair's abuse, the alpha dies and Dean's married off to the next alpha the system pairs him with - Castiel. The man is strange and distant, but not exactly bad, and Dean's determined to be on his best behavior and not mess up the chance he was given. Soon enough, though, he fucks up anyway and has to call the alpha for help. Castiel's lived his entire life without an omega by his side, and he was fine with that. He doesn't know how to proceed once he's suddenly married to a beautiful man who's obviously been through a lot. Omegas were always a confusing subject to him, so he tries not to interfere much - neither of them is there by their choice. But when Dean calls for help, he understands he's going to have to set some things straight and engage more.

[opalmaplehibiscus]

Roses are Red, Violets are blue – Riddle Discovered Romance Exists and that He’s in Love Too~

**Note: Anon, I’m so sorry for taking so long to write this ㅠoㅠ I really like Riddle as he’s in my top 5 list of characters like, so I hope I did him justice OTL

HC of Riddle x Reader

·       When Riddle first meets you at the welcome ceremony, already from the first glance, he was 100.31415% sure that he didn’t like you

·       You were a trouble maker, chaos-maker, a person who likes to wreck-havoc. In other words, something Riddle absolutely despised – a rule breaker

·       He was expecting, ok-hoping for you to not be accepted as an NRC student by the headmaster. Not only were you a rule breaker, you couldn’t even use magic. It wouldn’t make sense for you to be accepted

·       When he sees you sitting at  lunch with Ace, it proved to him 2 things. 1. You just further proved to him that you were someone he doesn’t want to get close with and 2. The headmaster is as brainless as ever

·       He doesn’t expect to see you come with Ace to deliver a marron tart on the day of the Unbirthday Party

·       Despite how he had reacted, he felt touch that you had come to deliver a tart for him. Yet, rules are law

·       It took everything in him to not flinch when he hears a passing comment from Cater how you and the other 3 trouble makers even had to pick fresh chestnuts to make it. To think someone who wasn’t even in his own dorm decided to help out to make a tart for him…

·       But the feeling of guilt disappears when you, someone magicless, calls him stupid for following the rules! The nerve you had for saying that he was stupid for following the rules that the Queen of Hearts made!

·       He usually didn’t discipline anyone outside the dorm of Heartslabyul unless it was something he witnessed and in regards to the general NRC school rule. He made an exception though when you refused to say “Yes, Dorm Leader”

·       You were in Heartslabyul and as the saying goes, “In Rome, do what the Romans do”. Through his anger, he’s still able to rational think how unreasonable he was being to apply his magic on someone magicless

·       For the rest of the day, the memory replays in his head of how he,  for the first time in his whole life, hesitated casting magic on someone. It didn’t help that the feeling of his hand shaking didn’t disappear

·       When you appear the next day for the duel, he suddenly felt self-conscious. He didn’t know why, but every time he was in front of you, he suddenly had the urge to look proper to you

·       He wanted to show you how much pride he takes in being the perfect honor student as well as nearly coming close to having the perfect image of the Queen of Hearts, herself

·       …Yes. Riddle, at the time, was wanting to look cool in front of you

·       The shame and deep embarrassment he faces when Ace punched him and calls him a baby in front of you of all people…The person he wanted to impress and gain acknowledgement from. And it didn’t help that everyone else didn’t think that was enough before an egg hits him on the head

·       After he OBs, he wakes up lying in your lap though he doesn’t notice as he continues to feel that the world was spinning

·       What he does notice was you hugging him as he cries from guilt, stress, and everything he held inside while patting his head. He refuses to admit that it comforted him, though it causes him to cry harder as he never once was given affection before

·       During the time he was recovering, when Trey and Cater tells him how you were the one that proposed to save him as soon as he OBed, his eyes turned soft from again, being touched, guilty, and confusion

·       He didn’t understand why you had chosen to help him. He knew that his first impression on you was not impressive at all. Yet you saved him

·       On Ace’s birthday, he has fun painting the roses with everyone while getting some sort of redemption on trying to look good in front of you

·       But, when he gave everyone his failed tarts, he wanted to dig a hole and get in it. He’s finally able to make himself look good and it’s none other than himself that ruins it in no less than an hour. Someone, please, help him

·       Seeing you continue to eat the failed tart, he tries to stop you. But jokes on him, when you tell him how the tart was something he made for everyone, which made it still delicious, he blushes

·       He only turns redder when he catches a certain Heartslabyul group talking behind his back

·       Ace: Oh my gosh, I think our Ryocho has a crush on the Prefect Deuce: What? No wa-actually, it really does seem like it, huh Grim: That’s unacceptable! I don’t want Y/N to date a guy like that! That would mean I won’t get as many tuna cans compared to now! Cater: Uuuuhhhhh, you guys should quiet down or else-

·       Riddle makes sure to punish them by lecturing them for 3 hours about respecting their seniors

·       He nearly uses his Unique Magic again when Ace points out how his height makes him look like a middle schooler

·       A few days later, when he sees you checking up on Trey because of his injury, Riddle felt touched from it

·       It made him happy and help the guilt inside him lessen seeing that there were many people that cared for his friend. Especially, from you

·       When he hears you were investigating about the incidents that were happening, he starts wanting to help you. Other than the reason of trying to find the person who used their magic on him and caused Trey to get injured, he didn’t want to lose the opportunity to get closer to you

·       It seemed like fate was against him though when he gets embarrassed by Floyd as he gets called by that cursed nickname and then had to run away from the eel twins

·       However, the fact that he was able to spend his day with you made him happy nonetheless

·       He doesn’t realize this but he starts to become more conscious about you – taking note of how you wear your uniform, hold your bag, etc

·       Listen, he’s more conscious because he acknowledges you as a fellow dorm leader that’s all! It’s totally not because he actually likes you!

·       Yeah, that’s why he fixes your tie and gives you the advice about keeping appearance! Because as fellow dorm leaders, they were the ones to set the image of being proper honor students in NRC! That’s. All!

·       He starts questioning if everything he did in the past is coming to bite him back now when he tries to catch Ruggie but ends up getting his pen stolen.

·       Was it too much to ask of him to look cool in front of you once? Once?

·       Cater: Riddle… I know you’re trying to look cool in front of Y/N but.. Riddle: But what? Cater: …Nothing

·       Cater didn’t want to face Riddle’s wrath like how Ace and Deuce did. He’s a wise man

·       He feels this again but this time with veins popping on his head when he finally gets Jack to agree to his plan and make it work only to lead to Leona to OB

·       He never has ever felt the urge to just crouch down while covering his face with his hands until now

·       When he sees Leona attacking everyone, all thoughts disappear as his worry for everyone’s safety, especially yours becomes his priority

·       He wanted to tell you to run away, go somewhere safe. But he doesn’t because he knows you’ll end up staying to save everyone

·       And this cycle repeats. When he finds out how you made a deal with Azul and the latest being you getting kidnapped at Scarabia, he wants to yell at you

·       He worries, he panics over your wellbeing. But what’s worse was that he can’t even tell you because he knows he isn’t any position to say so

·       The frustration that builds up in him leads him to take it out on anyone who annoys him, especially on those who gives him the biggest headache cough Ace and Deuce cough

·       It doesn’t help that he doesn’t understands why he worries about you

·       You always break the rules, get in trouble, and try to save others nonstop. You put yourself in danger for the sake of other’s when no one is willing to do that for you

·       Ever since you extended your hand towards him, all he’s been wanting was to show you the better side of him – to get you to become closer to him

·       BUT! EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! He tries getting closer to you, he was blocked

·       Fairy Gala – misses the opportunity to see you in your gorgeous outfit - He ends up getting a picture of you in it (it totally wasn’t a bribe from Idia, who was trying to get out of a dorm leader meeting. He was just following the school rules of confiscating all pictures that weren’t allowed to be taken in the school. That’s all)

·       Bean’s Day – Didn’t know the two of you were on the same team - He screamed into his pillow that night when he found about it. You literally were on the same team as him so he had a full, bloody chance to hang out with you. Alone. Just the two of you. Curse Jack and Azul for catching him. He’ll get back at them. He swears on the Queen of Hearts name he will.

·       Things worsen for him as he starts having the urge to hold your hand or want to get to know you. Do you like tarts just like he does? Were your hands soft just like how they look? Do you like to tie your tie in a bow like him or do the traditional Windsor?

·       Did he ever mentioned that he wanted to go “Off with Your Head” on Crowley and Floyd? No? Oh well, he does. And he will. Especially after what happened during that “weird ghost princess’s” marriage

·       He would like to say that he’s not short. He’s smart, considerate, knows what to do and not to do – height shouldn’t matter it’s the quality that does

·       He’s not self-cautious about his height. Nor is he worried about how well he fits into the “ideal” prince aka ideal marriage partner

·       He just wants to show that he’s capable of being a romantic partner! Because as dorm leader, he has an image to uphold especially since he’s closest to the Queen of Hearts!

·       In the end though, all of that turns out to be excuses. He realizes how much he enjoys your presence - how much he likes talking to you, hanging around you, getting to enjoy things without feeling judged or afraid of breaking rules

·       He feels like himself, his trues self, when he’s around you

·       And after listening to what Ace said to Eliza (yes, he remembers her name), he realizes that he sees you as someone like that

·       Realizing that he actually fell for you, his heart speeds up and his face reddens when you come up to him to congratulate him on the success

·       He knows that he doesn’t tell you now, he won’t ever have the chance to tell you. Especially since apparently, people like to block him from evening getting an inch closer to you

·       After looking down and seeing the bouquet in his hands still in good condition, he sends Cater off before he starts taking you towards Sam’s shop

·       He ignores your questions, before he stops right in front of the shop

·       His heart speeds up and nervousness washes over him. But he steels his resolve after thinking about how he’ll never have another chance

·       Getting on a knee, he places a right hand on his heart while offering the bouquet with his left

·       He confesses how ever since you helped him when he OBed, he started to have feelings for you. He never thought about it at first, but overtime the feelings started to grow despite him not realizing it. And today, he realized he fell for you

·       He talks about how he’s never experienced what it’s like to confess and love someone. Yet he promises you on his own name as well as the Queen of Heart’s name that he will devote his entire being to you – never lying nor betraying your heart

·       He says the he understands if you can’t accept being his, however, if only you acknowledge his feelings for him – at least be aware, he’s satisfied

·       Or would’ve if it weren’t for the fact that half way through, he’s suddenly pulled up towards you

·       His eyes widen as he feels your lips on his, actually k-k-kissing him

·       Once the two of you broke away, he looks at you in a daze, not understanding what had happened until he hears you saying that he didn’t have the right to make decisions for you and that you liked him back

·       He blushes to the point his face rivals the color of his hair before he drags you into another kiss out of happiness and absolute love

·       He’s about to say he loves you before he hears something behind the bushes

·       Deuce: OH MY GREAT SEVENS – RIDDLE RYOCHO  ACTUALLY Ace: SHHHHHH YOU’RE GOING TO GET US IN TROUBLE! Although, I have to say, I didn’t think Ryocho had it in him to actually confess Grim: NOOOO MY CANS OF TUNE Cater: whistles Wow~ Riddle and Y/N is a thing then~

·       He makes a mental note to give them punishment as he gets kissed again by you, happily returning it

[kandisheek]

Kinktober is around the corner so I've compiled all the kinks I wrote last year in this masterpost. This year I won't use any of those I've already written but try something new, so wish me luck! Have fun reading!

A/B/O: The Road Back on AO3 Summary: When Tony got back to earth he was still bleeding from the wound Peter's loss had dealt his heart. He didn't think anything could hurt more than letting down the closest thing he had to a son. Tony was wrong.

Anonymous Sex: Incognito on AO3 Summary: Tony's just looking to blow off some steam and that hot, blonde guy at the bar seems perfect. But after their night together Tony is admittedly a little disappointed that the guy left without even a note. Whatever, it's not like he's ever going to see him again. Right?

Biting/Marking: The Strongest Here Tonight on AO3 Summary: Tonton knows his duty to the clan and when his father commands it he knows that he will have to choose a mate. As an omega, guided by the blessing of the Mother, he can smell the strongest alpha in the crowd, the one who will be the most suited for Tonton, the clan leader's son. Nobody expects Tonton's choice to be the sickly, frail alpha in the corner. Needless to say Tonton's father isn't happy but Tonton has always been stubborn. And this alpha's heart is stronger than anyone he has ever seen. Tonton will make them see it too.

Body Modification/Decoration: Piercings & Rope on AO3 Summary: Tony learned how to do piercings in college through slightly... unconventional means. He never expected that he'd find someone to share his weird kink with, least of all the guy who he had every reason to hate.

Body Swap: Take Me For A Spin on AO3 Summary: Steve finds out first hand that being in Tony's brain when he's stressed is like standing inside a hornets' nest. Tony just wishes he could understand his own schematics. Being in Steve's brain sucks, especially when you've had a crush on the guy for years now.

Body Worship: With Skin So Soft on AO3 Summary: Tony has never felt comfortable receiving compliments when people honestly meant them. Steve is determined to change that.

Bulges: on AO3 Summary: “It's just so... majestic.” Pepper sighed, a major headache already throbbing in her temples. “Nothing about a dick is majestic, Tony.”

Clothing Theft: on AO3 Summary: Steve can't seem to find his favorite blue shirt.

Come Inflation: Full of You on AO3 Summary: After the serum Steve doesn't come the same way anymore. It's messy and it's kept him from ever really having sex with anyone. Thankfully Tony doesn't mind.

Dacryphilia: on AO3 Summary: Bucky just wants to be taken down.

Double Penetration: Double Trouble on AO3 Summary: Steve and Tony decide to spice things up and bring a third person into their bedroom. Lucky for them Bucky is down for anything.

Fangs: Fang Fatale on AO3 Summary: Tony is a werewolf who doesn't really give a shit about societal norms. He has a vampire fetish a mile wide but unfortunately vampires are rare and stick to their covens so he's never had the chance to get one into his bed. Then Steve shows up, the most famous vampire in the history of – well, at least the last couple hundred years – and Tony wants those teeth in his neck so badly he can feel his tail wagging at the mere thought. Only problem is – Steve despises everything Tony and his werewolf-blood stand for.

Filming: Ready? And Action! on AO3 Summary: Tony and Steve want to spice up their sex life. They make a sex tape. It's exactly as much of a disaster as it sounds.

Forniphilia: on AO3 Summary: It was one of those weird things where if someone were to ask Tony how it started he wouldn't have a straight answer. How did one get to the point of using their boyfriend as a table?

Heat Cycle: Boiling Up on AO3 Summary: Bucky couldn't remember his last rut. Which wasn't saying much. Honestly, these days Bucky had trouble remembering anything at all, memories slipping through his hands like water. But of course, when it happened, it had to be at the worst moment imaginable. In a bunker in Siberia.

Hypnosis/Mind Control: Shining Silver on AO3 Summary: Steve would like to say he didn't know how he'd ended up here but that would be a lie. He could just imagine Bucky screaming in his ear, “One rule, Steve! One fucking rule and you break it! You stupid punk!” Now Steve was going to learn the hard way why people were so scared of insulting a warlock.

Intercrural Sex: Intercrural on AO3 Summary: The first time Tony takes Steve to the bedroom they run into a small – well, big problem. Luckily Tony has never seen a problem he can't solve.

Knotting: In Rut on AO3 Summary: In a world where sexual urges only kick in when you present at eighteen, Bucky is a bit of an early bloomer. And as everyone knows he rarely does anything without dragging his best friend Steve along.

Masturbation/Solo: Solo on AO3 Summary: Steve has always enjoyed taking care of himself.

Object Insertion: Cucumbanned on AO3 Summary: In which Bruce is long-suffering and Tony really should think twice before shoving things up his ass.

Office/Workspace: Painting Rome on AO3 Summary: Tony loves distracting Steve from his work.

Power Difference/Authority: Power Switch on AO3 Summary: Bucky loves how small Tony is compared to both him and Steve. He makes the mistake of mentioning it to Tony. Cue Tony fucking Bucky in the armor as Steve watches in awe.

Primal Play: Feral on AO3 Summary: When Bucky gets captured by Hydra - again! - Tony assumes the worst. They get him back but Hydra has already injected Bucky with a drug that reduces him to his most basic instincts in an attempt to turn him back into their weapon. They definitely didn't expect Bucky to protect his team instead of attacking them when they rescued him. Now they're back at the tower and it's only a matter of waiting out the effects of the drug. Which would be great if Bucky could stop acting so weird around Tony. Steve probably wouldn't take too kindly to his boyfriend cuddling up to another man. And what's the deal with all the food?

Roleplay: Starring Role on AO3 Summary: Tony has jerked off to his Captain America posters more times than he can count. Now he has a boyfriend who is tall, blonde and practically made of muscles. Did anyone really expect him not to seize the opportunity?

Semi-Public/Public Sex: Barnyard Blues on AO3 Summary: Steve and Tony get a little side-tracked in Clint's barn. Tony enjoys being a bad influence.

Shotgunning: Shotgun on AO3 Summary: "Shotgunning? What's that?" Tony smirked. “One person takes a hit, other person comes close enough to inhale the smoke from their lips.” Both Bucky and Steve raised an eyebrow and Tony shrugged. “It's a teeny thing. Looks real nice. Especially on women.” “Does it?” Bucky asked and his voice took on a quality that suggested things Tony shouldn't be imagining. “I'd love to see that.” Oh. Okay then.

Tentacles: Kraken on AO3 Summary: You'd think that after more than four years of being Iron Man and sixty-three successful missions Tony would know not to go into suspicious looking swamps on his own.

Underwater: on AO3 Summary: A friendly competition to see who's had sex in the most unusual place escalates just a bit when Steve joins the party.

Window/Balcony Sex: One Night in Paris on AO3 Summary: When Tony calls him Steve is prepared for anything. He's not quite prepared for this.

Xenophilia: on AO3 Summary: Tony speaks seven languages. Steve is more than a little surprised by how much that turns him on.

And the bonus fic where I chose the kinks myself: One Last Hallelujah on AO3 Summary: Tony was prepared to do whatever it takes to right the wrongs in this world. But when he pays the highest price that life could ask of him his mates aren't going to let him slip away that easily.

[letitmclennon]

So Suburra is over and I’m like emotionally and physically shattered. 

Season 3 was generally good, but it seems like the authors wanted to end the series too quickly (only 6 episodes? Really?).

I’ve so many feelings and I can’t put them in order. But I’ll try because I have to.

If you keep on reading from now, beware of spoilers! 

First of all, let’s just say I like this series isn’t a prequel of the movie anymore. I’ve never seen the movie, other than THAT scene, but from what I know, I’m glad they changed idea. And I think it’s because they realized that what they have created in the series was too beautiful to be ruined in that way - which is Aureliano killing Spadino so coldly. It was practically unreal that Aureliano would kill Spadino after what they had been through. 

And most of all, after this... ⬇

But I’ll talk about Spadino and Aureliano later.

So, I said it seems the authors wanted to get rid of the series quickly. And that’s because of some events that are surprising plot twists. Like Monaschi going away after only one scene and Samurai who gets killed in the first episode. I didn’t see it coming so soon, it’s a mistake that he wouldn’t have done in the past seasons. On the other end, there’s a crescendo of tension that explodes in the last episode. You just find yourself wanting to see more till the end, even though, deep down, you know it’ll be a sad ending. 

The whole Cinaglia’s storyline was also interesting. At the beginning he was the new one, the honest politician who wants to change Rome in a positive way. Soon after, though, he becomes like any other politicians and understands that he has to make business with the underworld to keep his position. And from the moment he enters this vicious cycle, he just can’t come out anymore. That leads him to a peak in which he kills his wife, becoming a criminal, exactly like the ones he wanted to fight at the very beginning. It’s  disturbing but it’s also quite realistic. That said, I like Filippo Nigro’s acting, I didn’t think he could be such a creepy character. 

I really liked Nadia and Angelica becoming friends. They are strong and, unlike their boyfriends, they’re more rational. Aureliano and Spadino have always been too reckless. Angelica immediately figures out Manfredi’s betrayal and tries to warn Spadino, but of course, he is too lost in his perfect world where finally he has become Aureliano’s partner in crime. Nadia is smart and badass as well, risking everything they’ve built to protect Aureliano and showing him she can decide of her own life by herself. In the end the two girls comfort each other for what they have lost, their men and also the baby. And that was so good to see. 

And finally, let’s say something about Aureliano and Spadino. Before the release of season 3, I read some interviews where both Giacomo and Ale said the final season would be a love story between two great friends that love each other. I was so happy, because, ok, we all know Spadino never really stopped loving Aureliano. I mean, even if he tried with that poor guy in season 2, he couldn’t just get over him. And we can see how his love for Aureliano is central in the final series too. To him, their friendship and partnership is what gives a meaning to everything. He can’t just stop thinking about him, and being jealous. During the party he just sort of loses it and goes to interrupt Aureliano and Nadia’s kissing.

Look at him, so bloody jealous. 

What I was unsure about was Aureliano’s feeling for Spadino. We all remember  at the end of season 1, he was disgusted when he found out about Spadino’s homosexuality. And yes, in the end of season 2 he said “te voglio bene, Spadì”, which in italian means “i love you” but as a friend, a brother in this case, because he keeps on calling him “fratè” (fratello= brother). So I was sure that there would be a moment in which Spadino would make a big mistake and Aureliano would just break up their friendship. Also because I was still thinking the series was a prequel to the movie. Luckily from the first episode with Samurai’s death we find out this isn’t true anymore. I became more and more confident that their friendship would go on, no matter what.

In fact there are mistakes on both parts, Spadino and Aureliano, but they know they could only trust each other now. They put this relationship above everything else, families and business. 

Spadino also tries to kill his brother for Aureliano, but he just can’t, because his family is still too important in that moment. And the following scene is just heartbreaking. Spadino tells Aureliano he is sorry because he wasn’t good enough to kill his brother, and that it would have been better if his family killed him only for being a “faggot”. 

And Aureliano does something very sweet. Something strange if you think how disgusted he was about Spadino being gay. 

He caresses his neck, his thumb stroking Spadino’s cheeks tenderly, like he wants him to finally accept himself for who he truly is. And this shows us that Aureliano has definetely accepted Spadino’s truly essence and, I think, his feelings for him too. Because, come on, it’s obvious he knows!! I’m not saying he loves him back romantically, but of course he cares so much about Spadino, more than anything else. 

From now on it’s a crescendo of events and tension which leads us to the final episode. 

Spadino wants to kill his brother once and for all, but he falls into the trap of his father-in-law and Manfredi. So, this is the crucial event. Aureliano is about to put his hands on the key to rule Rome, the power he has always wanted. But Nadia calls him and tells him about Spadino being in danger. 

Sibilla tells him “It’s not time for feelings”, but Aureliano doesn’t think twice and goes straight to save Spadino. 

Now, it was a real surprise, seeing him throwing away the power to save his best friend’s life. This is a classic foolish act he would do, but for the first time it’s also the most heroic and altruistic thing he has ever done. Also because then, he understands that the only way to save Spadino is to sacrifice himself. 

So he winks at him, as if he wants to reassure him, tells him “ciao fratè” and then goes out shooting at Manfredi’s men. 

Do we have to talk about him dying in Spadino’s arms? Because it’s too hard to do it. But we’ll try. 

Of course Spadino tries to reassure him that he’s going to be ok. But no, they both know Aureliano is dying. And Spadino knows he’s losing the love of his life, the only person who gave a meaning to literally everything that he still has. 

The whole scene is heartbreaking. But the moment that hit me most is when Spadino tells him “Don’t leave me”. I mean, how can you go on living after that? Please, tell me if you know. 

So Aureliano sacrifices himself for Spadino. If this isn’t love, I don’t know what else it is then. And with him gone, Spadino loses his heart too, but now he has the strenght and the anger to get his revenge and finally kills his brother with the same knife he gave him. 

The end is so sad. The way he wants to say goodbye to Aureliano, all alone, in the middle of the sea. It’s the best and saddest scene I’ve ever seen in a while. 

He knows he can’t show his pain like Nadia does after, so he  allows himself this moment of privacy where he can be with Aureliano finally alone, cradle him in his arms, caress him and kiss him, basically what he has really wanted to do to him, but he wasn’t allowed to. 

He also gives Nadia Aureliano’s ring. He could have kept for himself, but even now he puts Aureliano above everything else. I think he knows Aureliano would want Nadia to have his ring. 

Besides, nothing matters now to Spadino, not even Angelica. When she didn’t want anything more from him, after losing the baby, he still wanted to be with her and have a family. But that was because Aureliano was still alive. And like he says, on the beach scene, she was right thinking that his heart was with Aureliano, and that was true when Aureliano was alive, but also after his death. So now life itself has lost meaning to Spadino and he gives up on everything, Angelica and his family. 

He chooses to be alone, with his grief and his feeling guilty, because knowing him, he does feel Aureliano’s death is his own fault. I was thinking that Spadino would be the one to die, but meanwhile I really hoped he would survive in a way. And he did, but I think with Aureliano gone, he is as well as he died with him. 

I think I’ll be missing these two guys a lot, the way they laugh with each other, how much they care for each other, and the amazing development of their characters and their bond.

Besides Alessandro and Giacomo had such a strong chemistry which gave a lot to their characters. It was just incredibile, and being Italian, I’m so proud of this series and the wonderful job all the staff did. 

if you have read so far, thank you and... DAJE!! 

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

She-who-fights-and-writes Coronacation Book Rec List

I know that a lot of people are stuck at home right now in dire need of entertainment, so I decided I’d put out a book recommendations list of all the books I’m currently reading and all of my must-reads!

(Just a note that a lot of these are Fantasy because I’m a fantasy nerd haha)

Books/Series I am currently reading

1. The Folk of the Air Trilogy by Holly Black (Currently on #2, The Wicked King)

Genre: High Fantasy

Setting: The land of Faerie which is kind of historical, but in the human world it is modern day

Main cast :

Jude Duarte (white, human, cutthroat, if I saw her in a Denny’s Parking Lot at 3am I would RUN)

Cardan Greenbriar (white, faerie, the true embodiment of Bastard)

Vivienne (Jude’s half-sister, lesbian with canon gf, half-human half-faerie, I would totally try to be her friend)

Taryn Duarte (Jude’s twin sister, queen doormat, still, I would take a bullet for her she’s jUST TRYING TO FIT IN)

Rating: 5/5 Stars

These books have been on my “To Read” list for so long now and for some reason I just never got around to reading them! Hands-down, these are some of the best high fantasy books that I’ve read in a long, long while.

I finished the first book, The Cruel Prince, in just two days and rated it 5/5 stars! Even though these books are high fantasy and focus on the traditions and ways of life of faeries, somehow all of the characters seem like I could meet them in real life!

The main character actually has genuine flaws and not just “””“flaws”””” and is a Bad Bitch down with murder, and the plot had me on the edge of my seat from page one!

The summary makes it sound like it’s going to be about their romance, but it’s really mostly about a power struggle and Jude being a badass.

Goodreads summary for The Cruel Prince:

Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

2. The Raven Cycle Series by Maggie Stiefvater (Currently on #1, The Raven Boys)

Genre: Present-Day/Realistic Fantasy (?)

Setting: The fictional town of Henrietta, Virginia

I haven’t gotten around to much of the book, so there’s not much I can tell you about the characters and I can’t properly give it a rating yet.

These books were also on my “To Read” list for a while; I was a huge fan of her book The Scorpio Races and have also been looking for something to quench my thirst for “private school/ghosts/magic” that I’ve been dealing with ever since I read The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo.

I’ve only JUST started The Raven Cycle yesterday, but so far I am hooked! I’m super worried because I’m TERRIBLE at juggling two series at a time but both of these are just so interesting! 

Goodreads Summary for The Raven Boys:

“There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve,” Neeve said. “Either you’re his true love . . . or you killed him.” It is freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrive. Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her. His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble. But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can’t entirely explain. He has it all—family money, good looks, devoted friends—but he’s looking for much more than that. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul who ranges from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher of the four, who notices many things but says very little. For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem. But now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore.

MY MUST-READ BOOK LIST

1. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

Genre: Historical Fiction

Setting: 1700s Europe (England, Paris, Barcelona, Marseilles, Venice)

Main cast (I’ll try my best not to spoil anything because you find out a LOT of different stuff about these characters throughout the book):

Henry “Monty” Montague (white, bi/pansexual, attitude problem)

Percy Newton (mixed race, gay, very sweet boy, definitely got “most likely to bring home to mom” in the yearbook)

Felicity Montague (white, Monty’s little sister, headcanoned as asexual, I love her to death)

Rating: 5/5 Stars

Daring adventure, gay representation, historical setting, hilarious characters!

This book literally has it all! I would consider it one of my favorite books of all time, yet for some reason I’ve never gotten around to reading any of the sequel books! The ending is very satisfying and ties everything together, which I feel is part of the reason why I haven’t gotten around to them yet. 

Therefore, it can serve as a one-shot read or a full series if you want to dive into something good!

The humor made me laugh out loud at points and all of the characters are very real and very, very relatable, not to mention the vivid settings of 1700s Europe!

Goodreads summary:

Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men. But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy. Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

2. The Ninth House By Leigh Bardugo

Genre: Horror, Fantasy 

Setting: Yale University and the town of New Haven, Present Day

Main cast:

Galaxy “Alex” Stern (Hispanic, sees dead people, very scary)

Daniel Arlington “Darlington” (white, rich, an angel who can sometimes be a dick)

Pamela Dawes (tbh I honestly don’t remember what she looks like, only that she’s a tired grad student with big nerd energy)

Detective Alan Turner (Black, takes shit from nobody, husband material)

Rating: 4/5 Stars

(NOTE: THIS IS VERY DARK ADULT FICTION AND CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND FOR PEOPLE UNDER 16)

This book is a great read for someone who’s looking for a disturbing, gritty book with layers upon layers of secrets that you have to peel away as the mystery unfolds. I love the secret societies and the intricate magic systems that the book introduces, and it actually made me hungry for more books like it!

 Alex is a three-dimensional, very real character who also serves as an unreliable narrator who witholds or warps the information that she’s telling you, making the narrative all the more riveting.

The only issues that I have with it are the fact that Leigh Bardugo kind of just dumps you in the middle of it without explaining stuff first, to the point where it kind of feels like you’re reading the second installment of a series rather than the first one, so things can get a bit confusing at first.

The book also can drag and draw things out for a bit too long, but once the plot fully kicks into gear, you will not be able to put it down!

Goodreads summary:

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her? Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

3. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Setting: Earth, Space, The Moon

Main cast :

Linh Cinder (Chinese, based on Cinderella, cyborg, certified badass)

Scarlet Benoit (French, based on Little Red Riding Hood, farmer who is not afraid to shoot you)

Cress Darnel (White, based on Rapunzel, nerd, I will protect her with my life if I have to)

Kaito “Kai” (Chinese, based on Prince Charming, kind of has to run a whole country, a very kind soul, deserves a nap)

Carswell Thorne (White, based off of Rapunzel’s Prince, bastard)

Winter Hayle (Black, based off of Snow White, royalty, has super special powers)

Wolf (Race unspecified, based off of the Big Bad Wolf, charming killing machine, furry????) 

Rating: 5/5 Stars

Do you like fairy tales?

Have you ever wanted to know what fairy tales would be like if they took place in the FUTURE instead of the PAST? 

Do you like an amazing, hilarious cast paired with a super interesting plot? 

These are the books for you!

I haven’t read them in so long, but I remember how much joy I felt while devouring these pages. Definitely something you will not able to put down!

Goodreads Summary for Book #1: Cinder: 

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . . Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

4. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Genre: Fantasy

Setting: Ancient Greece

Main cast:

Patroclus (Greek, Gay, quiet pining) 

Achilles (Greek, gay, very strong, student athlete energy)

Brisies (Anatolian, clever, literally the only one in this story who has a brain cell)

Rating: 100000/5 stars

This is basically the Iliad but if historians hadn’t completely erased Patroclus and Achilles’ relationship. “Haha yeah these guys were totally bros” they say, even though I have read the Iliad and their relationship isn’t even subtle.

This book made me cry at least ten times. It’s just so beautifully written and has such a distinct vibe to it that whenever I crack it open for another time, it takes me straight back to the vacation that I read it on. (Needless to say, sobbing your eyes out can be less than helpful when you’re on the beach)

If you can only read one book on this list, it should be this one. I could talk all day about it and write novels on just how much of an incredible writer Madeline Miller is, but I feel like you’d get my drift a bit better if you actually read the book.

Goodreads Summary:

Greece in the age of heroes. Patroclus, an awkward young prince, has been exiled to the court of King Peleus and his perfect son Achilles. By all rights their paths should never cross, but Achilles takes the shamed prince as his friend, and as they grow into young men skilled in the arts of war and medicine their bond blossoms into something deeper - despite the displeasure of Achilles' mother Thetis, a cruel sea goddess. But then word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped. Torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus journeys with Achilles to Troy, little knowing that the years that follow will test everything they hold dear. Profoundly moving and breathtakingly original, this rendering of the epic Trojan War is a dazzling feat of the imagination, a devastating love story, and an almighty battle between gods and kings, peace and glory, immortal fame and the human heart.

Hope this list helps you through your coronacation, and please don’t be afraid to reblog or message me to tell me if you’ve read/will read any of these!

[natferdinand]

The question frightened him.

The question frightened him. Is it like that everyday Or was it just today The only way I can get access to the Internet is if I at school. You will. 1. And yet, as is always the case, everyone was excited, everyone was talking, and, though they did not vouch for the story, they shook their heads and . Learn more about each venue's seasonal schedule in a forthcoming article from The Florentine. “Done and done,” muttered Mully, “and a good thing. She was not a ship to draw a second glance, unless it was to wonder how she stayed afloat. Up in Williamsburg, the Swinging Sixties Center and

pantofi sport cu scai barbati

Small World Daycare smučarski kombinezon hlačeand Learning Center have been embroiled in a legal battle since 2013, when a father and son team bought their building, increased the rent, and moved to evict them. Let us now propound a few questions to the initiated on No. Lee participated on numerous teams for the school and outside of school, one of which is her sport of choice, cross country skiing.. "It's really a cycle that feeds on itself," he said. Inside the valve body was a ball bearing and spring. Didn decide to

pantofi sport cu scai barbati

be lazy and only work at McDonald for a minimal wage and sit down and complained about other races taking my job you want to get more money earn it The Mexican/Latinos who work in those industries are willing to do it for necessity and because the lack of papers give them your social security number and they will double your income which is a benefit. The annals I’ve found and looked at, that is. If the EGR valve stops functioning and stays closed when it should remain open during high RPM, the temperature in the combustion chamber rises due to the absence of the exhaust gas cooling effect. The waltz was welcomed with pleasure. 'Brothers' set to square off in NCAA Championship Former Gonzaga hoop stars Kris Jenkins and Nate Britt II face off against each other Monday on college basketball biggest stage. AFA was 1 for 8 on the power play while RIT was 1 for 4."RIT was the better team tonight," head coach Frank Serratore said. On a foggy morning, those awaiting entry were flanked by television satellite trucks, Apple security and the company public relations troops, but the crowd was fairly quiet and subdued, as fehér női bőr csizma zany antics seen ahead of previous events were absent.. And starting with that first pay period, you batteria ai polimeri di litio amazon will owe your mother for rent, water, electricity, and room and board too. M. Cop shot bride to be dead through the door of his squad. Youare not going to be able to fly like Michael Jordanin them, but I think we can all agree that nobody could quite fly like MJ could anyway.. His paws grew wet and cold. They got into trouble after witnesses say one shoved a woman at an outdoor hot dog cart and punched a man trying to protect her.. The other half stood safely off to sea, with orders to raise sail and make for Sea Dragon Point if the northmen took the strand. Who came from a home life that can only be described as a nightmare. For a 1500cc small car fuel economy at 37 mph is not particularly good.2012 reg Petrol, Owner for less than a yearI had an issue with the cars battery. She started, glanced at me, the cup slipped from her hands, fell on the pavement and was broken. Not every captain was of Westerosi blood. Though his features were concealed, the dwarf would have known Barristan Selmy anywhere. An Eastern Mass and CCL all star . When I was a youth I took some pains to learn her to read; this is now a great consolation to her. The wolf dreams had been growing stronger, and he found himself remembering them even when awake. While a tonal iteration of the Nike Air Max Thea in University Red was previously offered, another rendition of the women's model is presented, although this time receiving another touch of contrast. Whatever the case may be, I can't imagine Aerosmith, which some consider to be America's greatest rock band (I disagree The Doors and Van Halen are both better), without Steven Tyler gyrating on stage avenida alicante sillawith his trademark scarf covered microphone stand. So, naturally, when I learned that the film "Cabaret" was based on a Broadway musical that was based on a play that was based on a book, I decided once I stopped running around the bases that I wouldn't like the book either. Jenson said that on several occasions he met with Swallow and his predecessor, Mark Shurtleff, at a five star resort in Newport Beach, California, to exchange cash for political favors.Then Jenson dropped a stunner: Hughes had attended one of these meetings.Hughes immediately took to Twitter to deny the allegations.

jean coquelin

The two daughters, Emily and Mary, here became very much excited, and broke out in some very natural but bitter language against all slave-holders. Because she longed for her mother’s arms and for liberty, she could not be forgiven. I am unable to articulate my kids' names, Rudy Felix are once again being called Rooney and Phoenix, and people think I'm deaf or a tad mentally challenged, but I do live a blessed life.. When they did, the door was frozen shut. They have no information when they arrive. Homage is the duty every leal subject owes his king. In their report of this year they also quote letters from ministers in slave-holding states, by which it appears that they have actually secured, in the face of much

pantaloni elisabetta franchi saldi

opposition, the right publicly to preach and propagate their sentiments upon this subject... Down here there was no wind, no snow, no ice, no dead things reaching out to grab you, only dreams and rushlight and the kisses of the ravens. He had to set Alyosha free, to relieve his heart from the burden of sadness that’s weighing on his life, from the duty of loving me. The indictment charges a battery on Lydia, a slave of Elizabeth Jones.... I defy anybody on earth to read our slave-code, as it stands in our law-books, and make anything else of it. The eyes of the three wolves glowed yellow. Viserys lusted for his father’s throne, but he lusted for Daenerys too, and was loath to give her up. She could only biciclete pretpray it was an honest one as well.. I also work at Sam Club and walk about 5 miles a day (no kidding, I worn a pedometer) so that really helps. And now me.. As the new planes start arriving, the Fort Worth, Texas based airline is adding satellite based high speed internet connectivity to its planes from Gogo and Via Sat, a major upgrade from its existing sluggish air to ground cellular network. New rules were introduced for those who have to the will of applying for the license of all kinds of electric cars.. Jake Malone officiating. I mean the loss of the kennel [and]

lugosis carhartt

the disruption of their lives. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.". E. May I have the honor of presenting our newest member of the Kingsguard? This is Ser Robert Strong.”. That the religion expressed by the declarations which we have quoted is as truly Antichrist as the religion of the Church of Rome, it is presumed no sensible person out of the sphere of American influences will deny.

[biclarisselarue]

TON in a giant nutshell:

Apolo and Meg are coming back to NY to the final battle with Nero, but one of his minions (a Gaul named Lu) used to be Meg's legal guardian and trained her so they share a bond™ and Lu wants Meg to be safe so she betrays Nero. The three of them now are looking for shelter since Nero has eyes basically everywhere so they once again ask for the Jackson's help. We get two chapters to meet Estelle (giggly, cute and has salt and pepper hair despite being a baby and Sea green eyes that Percy got from Poseidon. Plothole? A Poly relationship? Who knows). Sally and Paul are kind as always and we learn that Percy graduated, and even If the school was really shitty for him he worked really hard. Now he is in a roadtrip to the west coast in the family Prius with annabeth and Grover.

Anyway, Lu, Apollo and Meg come up with a plan to fool Nero. Lu is captured and Apollo goes to chb with Meg because he needs Nico's help. Nico and Will are cute boyfriends and he seems more comfortable with himself and that relationship but Nico has ptsd from, you know, everything he went through and Mr D is helping him deal with It all.

Nero said that Apollo had two days for surrender before he burns the whole city so there isnt much time for preparation. Will, Nico, Apolo and Meg leave to find Rachel Dare because she can help them with their plan to stop Nero.

The plan is: Apolo and Meg surrender going through the front door. Meanwhile the other three, along with these strange frog-like creatures wearing hats that are REALLY good underground, find another passage to Nero's tower to disable the huge trap of greek fire he has stored. That goes a bit sideways but ultimately works.

Huge battle, another trap, Nero is a abusive peace of shit with Meg but in the end they manage to defeat him so now Apolo has to go alone to fight Python

He goes down to Python's lair and they fight. Apolo is about to lose, in a not-mortal-but-not-god state, but again he manage to defeat the snake, throwing it into Chaos. Apolo is in a bad shape but Artemis takes him to Olympus, his godhood now reatored. But it's bittersweet because he has seen how hard it is to be a mortal and he no longer feels part of the Olympians. He acknowleges how abusive Zeus is to everyone (including to Hera) and decides he is going to be better and break the cycle

Final credits: Rachel can see the future again and it is quite happy about it

Nico and Will receive a prophecy, and a voice (maybe Bob?) Is calling him for help from tartarus.

Jason is dead tho he appears in a dream and seems in peace with his fate

Piper has a girlfriend named Shel, she says she's figuring out who she is without Hera's or Aphrodite's pressure and seems to be doing well

Thalia and Reyna are best Hunter buddies, and they go to Jo and Emma's station for a visit. There, Leo is teaching mechanics to street kids and developing a sibling like relationship with Reyna and Calipso decided to try highschool.

Hazel and Frank are well respected praetors and seem comfotable with their positions

Percy and Annabeth are going to college in New Rome. Percy didn't decide his major yet but he seems happy and Annabeth is going to take a double run (I think it's called that) in UC Berkeley. Their dorms are still empty and they are going to have a lot of time there together (👁️👄👁️) before their classes start

And Meg gathered her adopted siblings and went to her old house in Palm Springs, where she lives with Lu and a lot of dryads and Nature spirits

And Apolo says he is going to remember and be there for the demigods whenever they need.

This is incredible oh my god wow, thank you so fucking much. A poly relationship ahahhaha that made me cackle, the idea of dorky theatre dad paul and weird tries-too-hard-to-be-cool hawaiian shirt dad poseidon both with the absolute hottie that is sally? what a mental image. 

percy’s going to college :’) he did it :’) 

awwh that’s actually really sweet that mr. d is helping nico deal with his shit because mans got a lot of shit to deal with and i bet having the god of ritual madness on your side would be helpful (hopefully... if nico stays on his good side lmao)

and yeah FUCK ZEUS okay im a bit :/ that he didn’t denounce immortality because now that would have been epic but cool.. still down for the calling out of zeus i hope there were some absolute zingers in there

another prophecy. rick please. stop it. let them rest. enough. im so tired. having another prophecy at the end of a book series? that’s cringe buddy

PIPER HAS A GF. I AM HAPPY. that is all. this is my main takeaway and quite possibly one of the few things that i care about from this book. wish it had been reyna but you know what piper has two hands okay

asdhkajhda the eye emojis about percy n annabeth being alone in the dorm and spending a lot of time together. personally, i know me and my then boyfriend of the time spent a lot of time... together during a reading break when my roommate was gone.. anyway good for them. good for them :) they deserve nothing but happiness now and im glad they weren’t pulled in for the final battle 

my soul can rest now and i can focus on writing either too fluffy or too angsty percabeth to my hearts content 

(until he announces another five book series with nico and will. so do not rick. do not.)

[iammarriedtomothman]

Meet Cute (again)

All Gio had wanted was a new model for his latest piece. Yes he had plenty of beautiful people waltzing around the estate but he wasn’t sure how willing they would be to sit and pose for four hours at a time.

No, he needed a professional, it had been much too long since a museum had seen a Scarafaggio original and now was time. 

He had entrusted his Lex to pick his model, his muse for the week. And maybe that was a mistake, he had been moping around the estate for too long now and they had noticed. True he had a wonderful enclave of people in what he jokingly referred to as “the estates private collection” but he missed his masterpiece. 

Y/N

They had died young again a few years back. Poisoned by a man they had married. He thought that if he stepped out of the picture their next lifecycle they would be safe, wouldn’t die young like they had every time he found them again. But the universe was cruel and he watched from afar at their funeral yet again. 

He had met them in ancient Rome, he was still relatively naïve to humanity but he felt a pull to them, their kind eyes, warm smile. They were sunshine to him, and he fell quickly. He painted them almost everyday, trying his best to capture their beauty. He had a few weeks with them before sickness took them. He had only them in memory and paintings now. He found them again a few years later, they had no idea who he was but their kind eyes still sparkled with affection for him. 

And thus the cycle continued, he held them close and tried to capture their beauty. He tried to protect them, keep them healthy and safe. But they would die young regardless. 

He had loved them and lost them too many times and each go round was a chip at his heart. So he grew bitter and closed off. Allowing only a few inside.

Maybe Lex had grown tired of him staring longingly at their portrait in the side room of his studio, where he would lock himself in days at a time. He had filled the room with the paintings of them and the others over the years. They always had those kind eyes that filled with adoration for him. 

 Lex cleared her throat, startling him as he tore his eyes away from thier portrait. “Porca miseria Lex!”

“Sorry Boss I thought you would have heard me coming, your model is here”

“Thank you Lex” and with that he closed the doors to the small room and went to greet his guest. 

But when he went to go greet them he halted. If he ever had the need to breathe his breath would have hitched. His Y/N was standing right in front of him. Standing next to an old beat up red car, their smile is still wide, eyes that meet his, still kind and loving. 

“H-hello, I’m Y/N, I’ll be your model” And their voice is still sweet even when they’re nervous. “Hello, I’m Scarafaggio Shoggoth but you may call me Gio, everyone does” He extended his hand  “You come highly recommended and I must say, I look forward to working with you” he was going to kill Lex, or thank her immensely, it was really depending on how this all panned out.

They shook his hand and time stopped, they still felt the same in his hand and he stopped himself from raising it to his mouth to press a kiss into it like he had done so many times over.

He set them up in his studio, he wondered if they felt comfortable, like they felt they had always lived here, as their body language showed them relaxed. He rolled up his sleeves and got to work, a million emotions rolling through him but, he was more guarded, how many times could he lose them again, maybe just one painting would be enough to sustain him?

“Soooooo” they spoke up, cutting the silence

“What?” he barked and immediately hated himself, he never wanted to speak a cross word to them in his existence, but better to keep his heart at a distance. He winced as they shrunk back a bit, their eyebrows shot up “n-nothing, just you know, most clients listen to music or at the very least make small talk. I just thought we could get to know each other since, we’ll be spending a long amount of time together” He sunk back behind his painting “I can put on some classical music if you’d like but I’m not sure you’d like my conversations” A few minutes ticked by, now filled with soft classical music “So, um, what do you do for work?” He laughed through his nose, if only they knew, “art” he replied. “Well, I’m a botanist but it surprisingly doesn't pay well, go figure. So I took up modeling on the side” and with that they talked through their entire session, it was always like them to break through his tough shell no matter how hard he tried to keep it up.

He kept asking them to come back, he needed them to come back, he wanted to hear them again, see them close to what they had looked before, laid practically naked over a chair, ethereally beautiful. One day they let out a soft laugh through their nose, a noise he missed dearly. “Something funny?” he asked, working on their shading. “No, it’s just… I don’t know Déjà vu? It feels like I’ve been here before, like this house seems familiar?”

He faltered, did they know? Had they figured it out? “Oh well, a trick of the mind I guess, all big houses look alike” He mentally sighed in relief and went back to painting, hoping that as mean as he was, he could keep their distance. Paint them until he got just enough to sustain him and then send them away, let them live a normal life, hopefully a long one this time.

But of course they were curious, and a wanderer. He had only got up for a minute to get them some water. Perhaps it was a ploy by them to distract him, he could have gotten one of his clones to get it but he wanted to do this for them, a slip up by him. When he got back they weren't in the chaise, they weren't even in the studio. His panic only worsened when he saw his private side room door open. The room with his personal collection, where all the portraits of them were stored. He dropped the glass, and ran to the room praying he had simply forgotten to close it. He shoved the door open quickly in a panic, and there they were, staring at themself from 300 years ago. A look of worry and fear across their face. “Y/N, my darling please” He begged as he reached out to gently grab their hand, the pet name all too natural, was a mistake. “Don’t.” He flinched, their words sharp and demanding, making his stomach drop “Don’t, don’t call me that, not when you have all of these paintings of me” their eyes filling with tears “not when you’ve been staring at me practically naked for a week now” They slapped his outstretched hand away “don’t touch me you creep!” They shoved past him, grabbing their bag and running out the door. He watched as they ran, not wanting to chase them. As he heard the front door slam and their car rev up, he accepted solemnly that they had made their decision, and done as he had hoped anyway, left him alone for them to live a normal life. So why did it feel so bad, why did it feel like his unbeating heart was shattered? He sunk to the floor, the reason clear, it’s because they hated him, in all of their lives they either loved him or ignored him, but never hated him. He had never wanted to cause them pain or suffering, he only wanted to protect them. He stood up eventually and stared at his unfinished art piece, anger at himself boiling up inside, he couldn't destroy it, the only thing left of them, but he needed to destroy something. His studio was in shambles when Zhuk found him, anger spent, now numbly staring at the tumblr full of netherworld quality booze. Everything was destroyed except their unfinished portrait. which stood neatly on its easel. “I messed it up Zhuk” He told him emotionlessly “Then fix it, durak” Zhuk replied. Gio flinched at this cold response but he was right, he needed to fix it.

 So he reached out, using the number they had given him, begging for just a chance to explain himself. Luckily they had in fact been putting things together over the times they had visited. “I found it weird I already knew where the bathroom was, and how I knew that there’s a tricky turn at the entrance” They explained to him as he walked them back to the portrait room “things got to much just for Déjà vu to explain and after the paintings, it just began to come together”

 He nodded as he guided them to the portrait room “Yes, you and a couple of others are a rare soul, one that will continue to be reborn time and time again” He held such restraint around them, wanting nothing more than to hold them against him again, overjoyed they had given him a second chance. “You see, it’s said that sometimes a love is so strong that one lifetime isn’t enough to live it, and that’s what is the case with you and the others” “Where did I meet you first?” they asked breathily after a few minutes of silence. Gio smiled and gently took their hand, leading them to the first Fresco he painted of them “Rome in the first century” it felt so good to have them hand in his again “You and I were buying wine and there was only one left. You insisted I take it and that you didn’t really want it, so I offered we share it” He chuckled “we shared a bottle and then a beautiful few weeks together before you passed” “And this one?” They were pointing to the golden framed portrait of them, they looked almost the same as they did back then, they had only changed their hair.  “That was you in 1842, you lived here then and were the head of the house, you made everyone's day so much brighter” He tested the waters by bringing their hand to his mouth, pressing a loving kiss onto their knuckles. “Mine especially” Luckily, they didn’t flinch or tug their hand away, instead they sighed happily, still looking at their old portrait. “I was so beautiful”

He chuckled and turned to them, elated to see their eyes were shining yet again in adoration and love

“My darling you are still as lovely as the day I met you centuries ago” Lovingly stroking their face. They smiled and leaned into his touch, “I can’t explain it, but this feels so familiar, it makes me feel safe and warm, like I’ve done this countless times with you” His heart soared in happiness “Then I will spend everyday until eternity making you feel this way my love” He smiled softly at his little spot of sunshine “may I risk making a complete fool of myself by asking if I can kiss you?” He asked nervously They giggled softly, making his heart flutter with love “Well, it seems like the obvious thing to do” He smiled as he cupped their face, the feeling of their soft skin never truly gone from his memory. He pressed his lips gently to theirs, his moon was home again he would finally have the courage to do everything in his power to make sure he never let them go again.

[cravingmarvel]

Roman Nightmare - mente di pietra [2]

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, alcohol consumption, charming bucky (if I forgot anything please let me know!) Btw, this series includes a lot of OCs!

Summary: It all started with a hook up, then another one and then Bucky was done for. He fell in love headfirst, no warning and no end to it anytime soon. But Y/n has a boyfriend and a secret and a wedding to attend in Rome. Despite giving him enough reasons to stay away, the two of them are like magnets, always finding their way to each other, wanted or not.

Have fun reading and please like, comment and reblog! Tell me what you think.

Chapter Two - mente di pietra 

Bucky Barnes sat in his home office, listening to a report from Chase who was stationed in Brooklyn, going on about a weapon delivery caught by one of his men. He was listening briefly, but his mind was otherwise occupied. It’s been nearly a month since the one night stand with y/n and Bucky just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that she hasn’t tried to reach out to him, something that seemingly happens with all the women he shares a bed with for a night.

He glanced over to his phone, checking for new messages, but only the unimportant ones appeared. He momentarily forgot not only Chase, but also the fact that she had no way of knowing the mob bosses’ number. This became a routine over the three and a half weeks, checking his phone, e-mails and even asking Sam, his main correspondent, if she tried to find him.

Sam, understandably, rolled his eyes every time Bucky asked. Sam is his friend first and so his behaviour was excused, but still Bucky got mad at him for not having the answer he wants. Sooner or later Y/n would want to reach out, he reassured himself. He can’t go after her, that’s just not who he is. But somehow his brain kept flashing images of her eyes, her soft skin underneath his palms. He tried to shake the visuals out, locking them away, but there was no use. If he could just see her one more time, graze his fingers through her hair one more time, he would be satisfied.

The women he has around him tend to be a little clingy, lingering around him whenever he’s out with his friends. The ones he takes home have a habit of staying the night until the morning arrives, hoping for breakfast in bed with the attractive bachelor. Bucky doesn’t worry about that really, he’s out of bed before they realize.

Every morning after, Clint, one of Bucky’s most loyal men, escorts the beauties out, bringing them home. Over the years Clint has memorized this routine, already holding his hand out for the girls to put a piece of paper in it with their number on it hoping Bucky will call.

He never does.

As Chase ended the skype call, Bucky leaned back in is leather chair, turning it side to side, before deciding that he had enough. If she’s not reaching out to him, he will reach out to her.

-

Meanwhile, y/n sat in the newly opened café with her friends going over a presentation that was due for the next meeting on Monday. Though they were hard at work, none of them could help the conversation to drift off to non-work-related topics.

As the late evening approached, Chelsea asked for the other girls to get ready for their Friday night outing at her place, but Nina declined. “My parents have set up a date for me.” She lowered her head and y/n placed a hand on her back in pity.

Nina was truly the child of the family, being the younger one of five siblings, all married. She couldn’t help but struggle to find a partner. Not that she wasn’t desirable, she was plagued by shyness. Any man that approached her was met with stuttering words, head hanging low and few words. So, her parents took it upon themselves to lead her into the arms of a suitable companion, though none of the men ever suck around.

“Who is it now, a guy they met at church?” Franzi asked, not with poison, but concern. “Again.” She added, rolling her eyes.

Nina nodded her head not taking her eyes off her thighs, which were covered by the pastel pink skirt she wore ever so often. She never despised her parents for it, looking at it as her parents looking out for her. “Look, it’s not a shame that you’re not married, Franzi is the only one here tied down.” Chelsea spoke, looking over to Franzi who nodded her head. “And besides, you have a job you pour your heart and soul into. The time will come.”

Nina smiled shyly, cheeks turning pink.

While Bucky was focused on y/n, she was focused on her friends, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t cross her mind though. Her friends ever so often reminding her of him and that was enough for her. They asked questions which y/n felt like she couldn’t answer without consent.

After hugging Nina goodbye and wishing her good luck on her date, they walked over to Chelsea’s apartment.

Walking into the stylish place, Chelsea, Franzi and y/n took off their jackets and shoes ready to tackle their outfits, hair and make-up. They each sprinted up the stairs to Chelsea’s bedroom, giddy with excitement for the following hours.

Chelsea was in charge of picking out the dresses for each one, while y/n took over the make-up and hair department. Franzi on the other hand sat on the bed too engulfed by checking her cycle. “Y’know, maybe you should stop drinking if you and Ryan are really serious about this whole baby thing.” Y/n said, looking over her shoulder while letting the curl in her hand fall gently on Chelsea’s back.

Franzi made no effort tearing her eyes away from her phone screen, squinting her eyes. “You really are the least fun one of the group, aren’t you?”

Chelsea started laughing loudly throwing her head back, making y/n nearly burn her scalp with the curling rod. “I think you forgot who had a one-night stand.”

“Yeah like what, a month ago?” Franzi looked y/n in the eyes through the mirror without lifting her head.

Y/n scoffed focusing on the task at hand, finishing up the last pieces of hair and then running her fingers through the curls breaking them apart. Chelsea sprayed a little hairspray while y/n unplugged the curling rod.

-

Bucky stood not so far away from the bar, his eyes flicking to the door every so often. Sam, Steve and Clint stood opposite him, forming a circle, none of them were sure what this was about, but they just ran with it, hoping that she would show up any minute now.

A few women tried to push their way through to him, hoping for a drink spend on his name and maybe a lot more as the night lingers. Bucky spared them no glance though, mind focused on finding her in the crowd. He wasn’t sure about what he would do once she did show up, never in his life has he pursued a woman more than two days and most if not all girls practically slept on his doorstep waiting for him to open the door.

His hand shook around the glass he was holding, earning a few confused glances from his friends. They’ve seen him nervous before, but only when trouble starts to arise. Seeing their boss, the one who shot people straight in the head so shaken by a woman was indeed a strange sight to see.

-

As the three girls walked into the place, the bar was already packed with people, more than usual Franzi said to them. They worked their way through the crowd, the music overpowered by chatter, as they reached the copper bar. They all ordered their usual shot and raised their glasses to the weekend.

“Why the hell is it so full?” Franzi asked annoyed as a group of rather young girls pushed their way past her, each one bumping into her back without an apology.

“Because once a month they have happy hour and today is that day, Franzi.” Chelsea answered her question, knitting her eyebrows together, wondering just how young the girls are.

“Good, I thought the bartender was flirting with me. I swear to god, when Ryan and I have a kid, we will make sure they don’t go near a club until they’re twenty-one.”

While Chelsea and Franzi talked, y/n turned her focus to the crowd, not that she found their chatting boring, but she didn’t find it very interesting either. Her eyes roamed around the room lazily not focussing on anything specific, until her eyes found a pair of very familiar blue ones. She saw Bucky smiling at her, a tumbler glass in one of his hands.

Y/n turned her head away quickly earning the attention from her friends. “Bucky is here.” She whispered as if he could hear her over the noises, interrupting Franzi.

Franzi and Chelsea turned their heads trying to fid him in the crowd, which turned out to not be so difficult. “Yeah, we can tell.” Franzi smiled as Bucky reached the trio.

“Hey.” He spoke, addressing everyone, but his eyes were focused on y/n as she turned around to face him.

“Hey, Bucky. This is Franzi and Chelsea.” Y/n introduced him, and he politely shook their hands. He initiated a conversation, but y/n couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that he was here, talking to her friends.

“Can I steal you away for a moment?” Bucky caught her attention, placing his free hand in the small of her back, gently pulling her away. Y/n nodded and let him lead her through the crowd.

They reached his friends and Bucky introduced them, still keeping his hand steady on her back. Y/n smiled at the three her nerves overflowing asking herself why he was introducing her to his friend group.

“So, what do you do?” Sam asked as he took a long sip from his Bellini con Fragola. “Job wise.” He added.

“Ah, well I work for Stark. Not much to say about that though.” Y/n laughed uncomfortably, looking over to her two friends, who were watching cautiously. The four friends started chatting about Tony Stark, knowing him very personally, but y/n couldn’t really find any way into the conversation.

Franzi and Chelsea noticed the loneliness of their friend beckoning for her to come back. Y/n excused herself from the group, earning a rather confused look from Bucky. She squeezed herself back into the mass of people reaching her two friends with confusion.

Bucky watched after her as she sat back down at the bar and as there were more people swarming in, he decided it would be better to sit down than to stand within the crowd. He beckoned for Sam, Steve and Clint to follow him towards the table at the wall, putting on his rather mean face, ready to scare away the teens sitting on the red velvet benches.

They approached the table and immediately the five people sitting at it turned their heads to Bucky. Four of them looked terrified, but one kept a stern face. He was definitely drunk, Bucky thought, and he almost let the smirk give away his amusement. “Go.” Bucky said without breaking eye contact with the young man.

Everyone but him got up immediately and he was pulled by the girl who sat next to him, her hand firmly on his arm. “C’mon, Brad!” She hissed through her teeth clearly knowing better than to disobey the Bucky Barnes.

Brad got up slowly as Sam and Steve slit onto the bench opposite him, giving up the fight. Bucky and Clint sat down, and Bucky’s eyes roamed around looking for y/n.

Bucky’s jaw clenched watching a man talk to her, laughing as he finished talking. Bucky wasn’t jealous, he convinced himself, that’s just not who he is. He never got jealous, but then again her would never seek out to find a woman let alone introduce her to his friends.

To him it looked as if she was having a lot of fun, but what slipped through his hardened gaze is the fact that she was laughing out of pity.

He watched as y/n slit off the bar stool, rummaging through her purse as she disappeared through the crowd and re-emerged outside the bar. Bucky quickly stood up walking out after her, ignoring Sam as he yelled after him.

Bucky felt his confidence rise as the fresh air hit his face, breathing in deeply. “I can drop you off at home if you’d like.”

Y/n turned; cigarette positioned in between her lips with her lighter in hand. She was clearly more intoxicated, judging by the unsteady posture. “No, thank you.” She smiled back at him.

Bucky chuckled darkly. He could tell she knew what he meant, but he wasn’t quite sure what stopped her form accepting his offer.

Truth was, y/n had no clue what to say to him, she was drunk but not as much as the last time they saw each other. Bucky moved closer to her slowly, holding on to her waist as he took the cigarette away from her lips throwing it into the trash next to them. He leaned into the side of her face and she sensed his cologne better this time around, although she wasn’t sure he even wore some a month ago. “How about we go to my place then?”

Bucky lowered his head, trailing kisses down her neck to her collarbone. A quiet moan escaped her lips, fuelling Bucky’s ego. He held onto her waist tighter as she subconsciously nodded her head. She could feel his fingers digging into her side.

Bucky lead y/n to the familiar black car and opened the door for her. Y/n texted Chelsea what was going on and wished them a fun time.

The car came to a stop and Bucky climbed out of the car opening the door for y/n. She took his outstretched hand and as soon as she straightened her back, her eyes fell on the mansion. It was small compared to other mansions she’d seen online, a cosy in between of extravagance and family home. Bucky lead her closer to the white double doors, the mesmerised look on her face brought a smile to his.

As soon as the doors were opened, Bucky lifted her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.

-

Around midnight, Bucky had no intention to sleep just yet. He tightened his grip around her waist, burying his face into her hair inhaling the soft tones of strawberry. He relaxed next to her, his eyes following the curve of her lips, to her cheekbones, the delicate rising and falling of her back. He gently ran his thumb over her cheek, placing a kiss to the crown of her head. Bucky exhaled deeply knowing that she would go home in the morning, but an evil part of his heart wanted her to stay, no just tomorrow, but every tomorrow after that.

Only problem was that he had no idea how to admit it to himself nor to the one laying securely in his arms, right where he needed her to be.

-

Y/n lifted the covers off her body, looking over to Bucky sound asleep still. She put her dress back on and went to grab her purse, but the darkness made it impossible to find. Y/n quietly shuffled around the room trying to decipher where her purse could be, but knew it was impossible to find anything in this room with no light.

The door squeaked as she opened and closed it with a click. She walked down the stairs into the small foyer spotting the security guard next to the door, the same one that drove them here. As she walked towards him, he held out the purse she was missing, saying that she left it in the car.

“Would it be possible if you could call a cab for me?” Y/n spoke quietly, but the bodyguard shook his head, telling her that she will be driven home. Y/n nodded her head and immediately heard footsteps approaching.

“Leaving so soon?” Clint spoke as he walked out of the house, Y/n following him.

“You’re Ben, right?”

“Clint.”

Y/n nodded her head, red tinting her cheeks as she climbed into the backseat. Her phone buzzed in her purse and as she read the message her heart picked up beating faster.

Harry:

Hey Babe!!!   I just landed. How ab lunch tomorrow?

***

Masterlist || Next

[tillman]

hello, i feel like you’re the person to ask to; where would you recommend starting to someone who wants to get into arthurian literature? which authors/books would you recommend reading first? PS: i love your blog

432toit- thank u !! and oh boy gotta love this question. it depends entirely on like... what youre interested in so its hard to make like general sweeping statements on what the best texts to get into are BUT from my own personal experience uhmmm heres some good ones i think :-)

honestly i think the dutch texts are some of the best intro pieces there are. specifically the stuff from the lancelot comp, but they have a nice little microcosm of everything, are short, and very good :-) id say moriaen and lancelot and the hart with the white foot are the BEST to start with, though moriaen is VERY archaic english so dont feel bad about skipping it to come back to later or not at all! 

uhhh ok from there i think the best way to make it less daunting is to pick a single knight and then find as many texts as u can about them until you get distracted by some other text/some other knight/ect. if you dont really know where to start or who to really pick id say try out le morte d’arthur by thomas malory. if its not your speed feel free to skip it. i have an abridged version here which makes it sooo much easier to read like its just better in every way . read that version.

and uhhh from there yea id say go with the picking one knight to focus on.

gawain in particular has a lot to dig through from sir gawain and the green knight, to a lot of dutch stories including the roman van walewain which. is just a damn good text, to de ortu which is his childhood in rome, to like 50 fucking romances of him chopping off heads homoerotically (Gawain and the Turk is the best one, thats the hot take). 

lancelot also has a fair number of texts including the entire Vulgate cycle which is maybe my favorite medieval text, Lanzelet (which i am a fan of can u tell) a german tale in which he accidently marries a bunch of ladies, and like. lancelot and the hart with the white foot <3 which ive mentioned before but i just adore <3

id say tristan but then id get into a tristania rant which is a not a rant we need right now but check out shit like the Povest’ o Tryshchane, tristrant id argue can fit more into arthuriana than tristania though thats prolly problematic, le menestrel or als monch are also good as FUCK

other than that there are good like.... what do i call them. compilation texts? i dont know. stories focused more on over arching ideas rather than specific knights. The stanziac morte arthur is particularly amazing, and with that the alliterative morte arthure is sooo good. ive heard the mabinogion is good but havent read it yet, thats more on the welsh side and i stick to more... romances LOL, also ohh this isnt medieval lit but Idylls of the king by lord tennyson is just sooo good. 

anwyays i did just wake up so my brain is a little scrambled and i prolly forgot a bit of stuff not related to tristan and isolde but i hope this helps even a little! feel free to ask for specific links to texts or more texts focused on certain characters ij ust kinda did a quick overview of stuff i could think of off the top of my head :-) <3 

[ch-fics]

Chamomile - Origin I

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of child endangerment/abuse/abandonment/childhood trauma, swearing, sickness, and possible mentions of death. Long post as well.

Do not read if any of these trigger you.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“What would your mother think of your actions? How you truly turned out after all of these years? I bet she would be really disappointed in you.”

Those words echoed inside the small boy’s head. He had been caught stealing a loaf of bread from a stall since he couldn’t afford anything himself. Britain already knew his mother would punish him for this, just like the last time. “I’m so sorry, sir,” Britain said quietly, bowing apologetically at the man. He was escorted home by Roman guards, freezing a little at the sight of his mother: Britannia. Britannia eyed her son down. “What the hell did you do now?” She asked rather bitterly.  “I-” “He stole from a nearby stall; a loaf of bread,” a guard next to the boy’s right said. Britain swallowed nervously as Britannia nodded. “He will be punished and learn not to do this again, thank you for bringing him home,” she said calmly. She grabbed Britain by the wrist and closed the front door, smacking him immediately. “Now, what have I told you about fucking stealing?!” Britannia shouted angrily. “I-I’m sorry, mater, I-” Britain said through whimpers, trying not to cry. “You keep doing this. You clearly need to learn in a different way.” She got up and grabbed one of Britain’s plushies. “No! No! Mater, please! I’ve learned my lesson!” Britain begged, grabbing his mother’s leg. Britannia kicked her son away. “Do not disobey! Stay in your room!” She turned and walked outside, throwing the plushie into a fire. “No dinner for you tonight either.” Britain was dragged by his wrist, being thrown into his room and locked in. He shakily grabbed one of the few plushies he had left, hugging it tightly and keeping it close. The boy crawled underneath his covers, his entire body trembling as he already felt the bruises and marks forming on his body from where his mother hit him. Being the only child meant you couldn’t go to anyone for protection nor comfort; not even the neighbours trust you because of your stealing habits to feed yourself when your mother wouldn’t. This was an endless cycle Britain had endured ever since he was old enough to walk. It left him terrified of his mother and anyone who tried to touch him. There was hope for the small boy in the future, even if he couldn’t see it now. So much hope and joy, even if he couldn’t see it now. So, so much.

This is the story of the United Kingdom.

London, Roman Empire; 14:35 P.M.

“Wow! You can wear armour?!” The English boy stared up at the older Brit, smiling excitedly. “Oh, yes. I am a warrior, after all,” Britain replied with a small smile, sitting down next to England. “It must be so cool! You get to fight bad guys! Like the Huns!” England made punching motions as he spoke, smiling bravely at the older boy. Britain let out a small chuckle before hearing the Roman Empire’s voice calling them in for dinner. As Britain reached the front door, Rome stopped him for a moment. “What is it, Pater?” The Brit asked curiously. “Britain, I know you strive to be great and powerful, but I must restrain you from fighting the invaders of the North.” “What? Why? I can handle them. I’ve fought them before with-” Rome hushed his son. “It’s for your own safety.” There were cracks forming in Rome’s face. “Oh, right-” Britain started before being stopped by Rome once more. “I know, my son. That is why I cannot allow you nor Scotland to fight; both of you are the eldest, next to Wales. I need you to protect England and your own friends as well, for I may not be around for much longer…” Britain looked at the ground, before nodding in understanding. He already had a horrible parental figure once, why did he have to lose his only good one? Why now? “Come along, then. I don’t want you starving…” Rome set his hand on Britain’s shoulder as he walked inside with him, letting him sit down next to Wales and Scotland at their table. The Brit barely touched his food before seeing Wales’s hand on his. “Britain? Is something wrong?” Wales asked softly, her eyes full of concern. “No, no… I’m alright. Just, thinking.” Britain gave Wales a small smile. “Nothing’s wrong over here, I promise.” He then went back to eating before he ended up giving his scrapes to the stray wild dogs in the alleyway outside of the home he shared. He walked back in and went down the hallway to his room, changing into a comfortable robe to sleep in as he laid down in the hay bed, staring up at the ceiling. What would he do when Rome was gone? He can only fight for so long before tiring himself out. As Britain got lost in his thoughts, he overheard knocking on the door. “You may come in,” he said calmly. Rome walked in and sat down next to the boy. “Britain, look at me…” The Brit turned to meet Rome’s eyes before suddenly being pulled into a warm and caring hug. “I know you’re wondering what you’ll do when I am gone… Do not fret about it, alright, my child? I have plans for you and your siblings, and I’ve made sure that they work out for you all,” Rome said softly. Before Britain even realised, he held onto his father a little tighter, tears filling his eyes as he let himself finally cry, whimpers and sobs escaping him. The acceptance was already rising, and yet, he still felt like he had lost one of the most important things in his life; his own fatherly figure. Rome stroked Britain’s hair softly, comforting him the best he could. “I’m not gone yet, little one… I won’t leave you just yet,” Rome said quietly, letting Britain cry it all out as he needed to. After what seemed like an eternity, Britain finally calmed down, leaning against his father. “Get some rest, my son… You need it…” Rome let Britain lay down as he tucked him in, just like he always did. He then kissed the Brit’s forehead and left the room, quietly closing the door as Britain turned over on his side, staring at the wall; the random words he carved into it when he was younger standing out more than before, especially words like “hope” and “freedom”. He knew what they meant, but he felt like they were something more unique to him - maybe the freedom from Britannia? The hope of a good future? Britain shook the thoughts away and buried his face into the rather soft pillow nearby, closing his eyes and letting the night close in on his dreams. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Hey guys! This is part one of an origin fic I’ve been working on for a while now! part two is still in the works, but it should be out soon! I hope you guys enjoy!

[virginpornstar]

What I Learned From All Of My Hookups In 2020

I knew 2020 would be less slutty than 2017-2019 due to the fact I wasn’t living in ATL. I still had plans to travel monthly, discover new cities and new men, and be a slut everywhere I go. Covid-19 ruined that. So 2020 was far less slutty than I had anticipated, but I still had a lot of fun this year. We have to roll with the punches, and readjust our plans when the plague strikes. I still learned a lot about myself and my sexual interests with each new penis that entered my body. Here’s what I learned from all of my hookups i n 2020! 

1. GUYS THAT DELETE AND CONSTANTY REMAKE NEW DATING APP PROFILES HAVE MENTAL ISSUES

Hooking up with New Castle started off fun, but then he kept acting weird. I asked him why he’d always delete his Grindr profile then make a new one every other week, then he’d go off on me for asking why. I did realize he’d make profiles advertising himself as a top, then ones as vers, then others as a bottom. A clear sign the man didn’t even know what he wants. We had some good times until he started acting crazy, and then randomly blocking men when I couldn’t hookup. 

2. GUYS TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY NOW THAT I’VE LIVED IN ATL

Left Tackle and I had been hooking up off and on since 2016. Yet suddenly in 2020 he wanted to start acting differently, like he’s too good for me. Um what? He also acted grossed out and disgusted after following all my ATL sexual adventures, and I think he started to think I was tainted after reading about me hooking up with a poz guy while on vacation. Oh well. Fuck buddies aren’t meant to last forever. I will not have a guy treating me like he’s too good for me, when in fact I’ve always been too good for him. 

3. I NEED TO STOP HOOKING UP THE NIGHT BEFORE VACATION

I noticed a pattern of when I’m supposed to have a slutty vacation weekend I end up hooking up the night before I leave. Which either makes me dickmatized and not horny on the trip, or I get my hole ripped and then I can’t even fully enjoy hooking up while away. I’m still gonna fuck, just not as much or as enjoyably if I hadn’t gotten fucked the night before. I still enjoyed my encounter with Big D, even if he did rip me. 

4. I CAN’T STAND VIRGOS

Philly Jawn and I had been following each other online and flirting here and there for years. Then when I was staying the weekend in Philly he and I finally made up. it started off well at first, and we even fucked, only for him to act distant and start ghosting me afterwards. Fuck that nigga. I can’t stand Virgo men since they always do this distant shit, and are terrible communicators. If you’re not interested then say so. Don’t waste my fucking time. 

5. FORT LAUDERDALE WAS MORE FUN THAN MIAMI

Miami was my last vacation before Covid-19 plagued the earth. It’s also the last time I flew anywhere. I was so excited to hookup with all these hot Miami men, yet somehow Fort Lauderdale was way better than Miami. The bathhouse was definitely far superior in Fort Lauderdale than Miami at least, and I had way more fun hooking up with guys there than the bathhouse in Miami. 

6. MIAMI IS TO LATINO GAYS WHAT ATL IS TO BLACK GAYS

I hooked up with so many latino men in Miami/Fort Lauderdale. They are the dominant population. It made me nostalgic for my younger years. I didn’t really get with many latinos in ATL, since black men rule that city. I had many latino lovers in the past, so it made me a little nostalgic. Sometimes a latin lover is all you need to give you great vacation sex. 

7. I’M STILL NOT POZ FRIENDLY BUT MAKING PROGRESS

Miami has long been the biggest HiV hot spot in America. Their infection rates are far worse than Atlanta. So it did seem a bit fitting to hookup with a poz guy for the first time while in the HIV capital. When in Rome...granted I only hooked up with him because he was the only cute guy at the bathhouse at the time. If there was anyone more appealing, I wouldn’t have settled for a poz guy. I also wasn’t comfortable enough to do anal, but it’s still progress to have hooked up with a poz guy without penetration. 

8. THE PHILLY BATHHOUSE WAS MORE FUN THAN I EXPECTED

I love checking out the bathhouses in every city I travel to. I didn’t have high expectations for the Philly bathhouse since I knew there wasn’t going to be a pool or hot tub, and those are my favorrite amenities at bathhouses. Yet surprisingly the Philly bathhouse was poppin, and I went on a Wednesday afternoon. It was very diverse, and although I didn’t fuck anyone, I still had a good time. 

9. IT’S FUN TOPPING SOMEONE’S DAD

I always thought it was hot hooking up with a dick that’s created life. I hooked up with this DL divorced father of 2, he was young and around my age, but still hot knowing he had kids. I topped him, and then he became my plug. I do miss the weed provided more than I miss him. 

10. I DON’T MISS THE BUMS IN THE SOUTH

My northern hookups have come bearing gifts. Weed, money, etc...I don’t miss the bums in Atlanta always begging for handouts. Asking for money, transportation, asking for shit. I’ve had so many guys give me shit without even asking like my DL Latino lover. Maybe I should remain in the north, although ATL keeps calling my name. 

11. WHITE MEN LOVE BLOWJOBS

One thing I miss about Atlanta is the men there loved to fuck. Being in the suburbs with mostly old white men and DL guys I’ve realized most of them just want head. I used to be oral only, until I got on PrEP and lost a relationship to never wanting to fuck. So now I love to fuck, but keep encountering guys, like Mushroom Man, where all they want to do is get their dick sucked. Sorry, oral only isn’t enough for me to have a good time. 

12. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CATFISH A GUY TO GET THE DICK THAT GHOSTED YOU

Chubby Chaster and I spent hours talking one night on Grindr, then he started ignoring me the next day. Oh hell no! I will not be ignored. I got into the whole anonymous profile thing briefly after my friend encouraged me, and weirdly so many guys are into that. I did end up getting Chubby Chaser to come over, and I kenw as soon as he saw me he must’ve been pissed to realize it was me. Oh well. I still made him cum. 

13. WAY TOO MANY DL BOTTOMS IN THE SUBURBS

When I think of DL guys, at least the ones that turn me on, I think of guys with girlfriends/wives that are masc men you’d never be able to tell fuck guys on the DL. They’re also tops. Yet somehow all the DL guys with wives/girlfriends/baby mamas where I am now seem to all be bottoms. WTF! How can you fuck your girlfriend’s pussy, but somehow can’t use your dick to fuck a guy’s ass? Yet you want to let guys fuck you in the ass? That’s not fun for me. I top like once or twice a year, yet hooked up with so many DL bottoms this year. 

14. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Gorilla and I have hooked up off and on for years. He’s a Scorpio too, and we never get along. Yet the sex is good. He’s been in an off/on relationshp for years, and seems to only hit me up whenever they’re off. Yet we fucked, then suddenly he started being distant afterwards, and then posting his man on social media. Ugh. I can’t stand that shit. I’ve been in that shit where I fuck new guys whenever my ex and I were off, and then when we’re on again ignore the new guys. I hate that cycle, and it’s not fair to the new people I got involved with. So I hate getting involved in that cycle in other people’s relationships since I wanted consistent dick. 

15. NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU’LL MEET YOUR FUTURE SUGAR DADDY

I kinda only hooked up with Gasolina because i’d not had dick in months. I was a little desperate. I wasn’t that attracted to his pics, but he had a big dick, and I’m glad we did end up hooking up. Since he turned into my sugar daddy and I had many fun times this summer with him. 

16. INVITING OVER A THIRD CAN SALVAGE A TERRIBLE HOOKUP

Panty Man got on my damn nerves. We rented a hotel together for the night, even though we barely knew each other and had only texted/talked on a dating app before. I knew as soon as we began talking, this wasn’t going to work, but I didn’t feel like leaving since I paid for half. I invited over New Castle, and then things turned into a threesome. They didn’t touch each other, but both fucked me. I had a good time, because I invited over another guy. I wouldn’t recommend inviting over a third to salvage terrible sex with your boyfriend, but it works for random hookups. 

17. I LIKE CORRUPTING GOOD BOYS

I knew Rocky and I didn’t have any long term potential. He lived too far for me, and his health issues were something I don’t think I could deal with. But we still had some nice times together. He was such a good church boy so I had fun getting him to drink, try edibles, and even wanted him to try poppers. I love introducing men to new things. 

18. I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER DATE A WHITE MAN AGAIN

It’s crazy to think I wasn’t even really attracted to black men until 4 years ago, and now I don’t see myself getting serious with any man that isn’t black. Farmer J was the last white boy I went out with/hooked up with, and he will hopefully be the last for the foreseeable future. I’ve had great encounters with white men before, but I never came close to an actual relationship with a white guy. Now after the ignorant comments Farmer J said, and it’s a lot of the ignorance that comes with dating a white man that is attracted to black people, but knows nothing about black people. His offensive comments that he never would’ve realized are offensive, and his voting history were a complete deal breaker for me. Completely reminded me why once you go black, you never go back. 

19. GUYS ACT SKEPTICAL ABOUT FILMING YOUR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS THEN GET SUPER INTO ONCE THE CAMERA IS ON

I saw The Reverend again for the first time in 4 years. I wanted to record more content for my OnlyFans. I knew he’d be skeptical due to the nature of his career, but I have masks and know what I’m doing. I’m surprised how into he got when the camera was on. I always turn my tops into the director since I’m too high on poppers to worry about angles, but it was a fun time. We got some really good footage for my channel. 

20. A RANDOM HOOKUP CAN LEAD TO A RELATIONSHIP

Before BMore Bae entered my life I wasn’t looking for love. I had just launched my OnlyFans, wanted to record content, make money, enjoy life, save up before moving to ATL, and then boom. He comes over, he’s cuter than expected, and I caught feelings. I caught feelings fast. It’s been an roller coaster, but it’s so true. Love enters your life when you least expect it. I’m so glad it did. We’ve already made so many beautiful memories together, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.