#s01e05 “Damned If You Do”

[thankstothe]

happy *this*

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #20: “Braingea’s Final Cranny” | April 17, 2009 - 12:15AM | S02E10

The final episode of Xavier is here and boy, what a show. I don’t think I ever watched this one, either, so I can’t pad this out with barely-relevant tangents about how I was working on a commercial fishing boat at the time of it’s airing or whatever it was I was doing. I miss the sea. 

Xavier yearns for his mother so hard that he cries for 9 months, creating a fertile beach with it’s own ocean (ah, there she is! How I’ve missed her so!). Xavier inadvertently harms a young man with his first job, dressing like a dolphin and handing out free samples or some shit. Xavier mistakes him for the real thing and tosses him into the ocean. He gets out alive, but then Xavier mistakes his scuffed up Dolphin dress as a carcass, and forces him to eat it in front of him, an ethical thing to do if you kill a living creature. Later, when he finds the guy trying to commit suicide he orders him to eat himself. 

That guy winds up getting taken to an asylum, and Xavier sneaks in with him, believing his mother is there. He then has to “pretend” to be insane. He is psychoanalyzed using a Rorschach test, which anthropomorphizes into a guy that talks to Xavier and explains that he can take any form Xavier wants. The inkblot can’t take Xavier and eventually materializes on the psychiatrist’s couch, and is committed. 

Later, Xavier finally finds his mother in the lobotomy room. He digs through a pile of brain and finds the missing chunk from her head and crams it back into her head. When she comes back to full sentience, she tells Xavier that she faked her death to get away from him, and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again. She ensures this happens by gouging her own eyes out.

Xavier meets Nurse Escher and you KNOW they gonna bone. They bone, then the psychiatrist reveals that the nurse is Xavier’s real mother, and he was trying to prove a scientific theory that lobotomies remove oedipal taboo from the brain.

The inkblot comes back and runs off with Xavier’s mother, taking them back to the beach. Xavier travels to the beach by jamming together all the lobotomy pieces into one big brain, which sorta functions like a hot air balloon. He gets the blot to turn into an ice cream cone and consumes it. 9 months later, he, his mom, and his fake mom all give a tandem birth to Xavier’s incest baby, which becomes that weird symbol that’s in every episode. We pull out of the symbol on a Rorschach test being administered to Xavier back in the psychiatrist’s office. There, Xavier finds out that he’s beautiful by looking into a hand mirror and seeing a conventionally handsome man looking back at him. The psychiatrist now looks like Xavier. THE END? 

This one is ultimately sort of a middling episode, but it has some great laughs. The run where Xavier is trying different brain chunks on his supposed lobotomized mother had three great gags in a row. I assume I laughed at them, because I wrote them down, and that’s usually the reason I write specific jokes down. When he shoves in a piece, his mother begins talking in the voice of whatever brain it actually is. He tries a young man’s voice who is confessing to his father that he forgot all of his pizza knowledge. “Dumb (DISGUSTING AND OFFENSIVE anti-Italian slur) coulda used a Goombotomy.” Then he tries one where the voice is a sports announcer calling the winner of some game. “Damn it, I had money on that game.” The next one causes chicken noises to come out of his mother. “Oh, chicken, Yum!” Xavier says before chomping the brain bit. That said, I think I prefer Damnesia Me, meaning You, as my head-canon finale. 

Okay, I usually like to do a top ten (in chronological order) of each show when they end. This one was tough for me, but I tried. I bet if I went through the show again I’d come up with a slightly different list. HERE IT IS: 

S01E01: “What Life D-D-Doth”

S01E03: “Weapons Grade Life”

S01E05: “Pet Siouxicide”

S01E07: “Bloodcorn”

S01E09: “Signs from Godrilla”

S01E10: “Shakashuri Blowdown”

S02E05: “Vibracaust”

S02E05: “Free Range Manibalism”

S02E06: “Damnesia Vu”

S02E09: “Damnesia You”

[dirtyoldmanhole]

xmen97 s01e05 liveblog!

(keeping it in one post since otherwise i have a feeling it'll just be a lot of unearthly screeching :D ) behold: so much magneto simping

l m a o magneto sassing gambit in the blackbird (he lets rogue pilot omg ;;w; )

ok the magneto propoganda posters are sick ngl.

'daddy's charging pretty high rent'

THEY REALLY WENT THERE HUH LM A O

okay not magneto simping for a hot second: i really love what they've done with logan's characterization in the last few episodes; he's my dark horse favorite out of the whole gang for actually having common sense prettttty much the whole way through

did emma frost just basically say 'we need your hot mug daddy' l o lo o l o l #you said it queen (also she's hot i'd tap that)

AAOOUUUUGGHIHUGUHHOGHHHHHHHHH

WHY IS THIS FUCKER AS GOD DAMN ROMANTIC AS FUCK AS GUNTER IS

DAMN YOU SMOOTH

FUCK

'passion' ok that has to be the pg13 way of saying 'they absolutely Fucked'

blah blah blah cut to other love triangle stuff

ohey rou- OH SHIT SHE'S GONNA DO THIS CONVERSATION

SHE'S GONNA CHOOSE MAGNETO??????????????

okay rogue and gambit. can you not keep saying the word daddy. i know southerners all have a daddy complex but pls COULD YOU NOT rub it in :P :P :P

SMIRKY MAGNETO.... AUDIBLE 'OH SHIT'

SIR.................................

oh those two absolutely fucked in the flashback. the body language. holy shit.

THE OPEN SHRIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I FUCKIN. CALLED IT

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

holy shit they really just said 'they fucked in every imaginable way possible' loud and clear.

okay, to gambit's credit: he took that remarkably well in that moment. genuine respect there.

[ ASCENDED LEVEL SCREECHING AT THE GALA SCENE ]

O-OH.... MY GOD............................???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/

(also holy shit that was. really fucking hot????????)

THAT WAS NOT FUCKING PG13 LMAO

ohhhhhh my god

oh holy fuck that was hot

oh god

oh dear lord

oh my stars

t-t-t-the kiss..................................................................

i almost forgot to mention how i got the vapours at seeing suitjacket magneto but

holy

fucking

shit

HOW THE FUCK WAS IT THAT GENUINELY EROTIC FOR *MARVEL*

I ASK AGAIN: WHICH OLD MAN FUCKER OWNED THAT BUDGET

[ incomprehensible screeching]

rogneto fans absolutely fuckin won the lottery

oh my god the hand

[ had to pause it for 10 minutes to walk around the house ]

I AM UNWELL

okay plot. earth to krad. plot incoming.

WAIT...... WHAT...... NOOO?????

okay this is like some me3 level armageddon reaper shit....

[ mildly distracted by magneto in the suit jacket ]

(respectfully) daddy.............

THE WHIP TRAIN

OH MY GOD THAT SCENE WITH MY HEADCANON OF GUNTER WITH THE WHIP SJLSJKSJAHHAHJHJHSHJSHJSJHS

(disrespectfully, and full of lust) holy shITTTTTTTTTTBATTLE DAMAGE DADDY BE BACK.............................................................................

AOUOOGOHOGH..........................

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

relax krad there's no way on earth they're killing him off for real he'll be back

DEEP BREATHS

keep calm and carry on

i'm begining to like gambit a lot in this episode against my will not gonna-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????? FUCK??????? YOO???

okay that looked a hell of a lot more serious

god

damn

...............

.........................................................

[ immediately rewatches to take all the gala screenshots]

[pinliteral]

S01E05, “Damned If You Do”

(Reactions below cut for your scrolling pleasure)

WILSON ALPEARS FIRST SCENE.L. OMG ….

He’s so beautiful I love him

HIS LITTLE SMILE HES ADORABLE K LOVE HIM

Sigh Wilson is off screen…

WILSON BACK KN SCREEN beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful man

OH IS THIS THAT FUCKING EPISODE WHERE EVERYONE BLAMES HOUSE FOR GRABBING THE WRONF MEDICINE THAT HE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING GRAB HOLT SHIT

OH IT FUCKING IS UGHHHHH

Sorry I have an irrational hatred for this episode

“Candy CANES ☹️⁉️”

WILSON :3333333 MY WIFE :3333

“So what’s wrong with u 😒” you’ve been friends for like a decade

I’d 5his man about to sleep with a nun house no

Cuddy my girlboss I love her

WOLSON!!!!! WILSON!!!!!! My babygirl can Wilson just be the main character I love him so much

OH MY GOSH 4HIS IS THE TEA EPISODE OH MY GOD

I genuinely thought this was an episode from like s2

Blah blah blah religious trauma blah blah blah

WILSON WILSON WILSON hes so beautiful i love him

God I kinda miss when House was an actual person

Is House MD telling me to believe in god because I won’t

Dude maybe you ate something with black food dye and that’s how the birth control fucked up

WILSON!!!!!!!!! sigh he’s gone

Goddd Wilson my fruity king

“Neither do I 😧”

THEYRE SI CUTE I SWEAR TO GOD ☹️☹️☹️ THEM LAUGHING WITH EACHOTHER OVER CHINESE GAKEOUT AT CHRISTMAS ☹️☹️☹️ they’re so friendpilled visitmaxxing

Good for Chase??? I think??? Idk I’m not religious

[hannibutts]

HANNIBAL SPOILERS S01E05

So…. Did he kill Beverley?

Boo Freddie Lounds

Oh no. She tells Jack “she’s one of yours” 😭😭

Did Hannibal turn her into a mummy? WHAT THE FUCK. HE SLICED HER??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN??

How would you even do that? Like does he have a massive deli slicer in his house? And she’d have to be frozen or something to keep everything in place. Why am I even thinking about this? Stupid show.

Rara in the credits 😃

Awww Jack, Price and Zeller breaking down is devastating.

Oh see through Hannibal mask on Will, wait, do those mask actually exist for transit? I think I always thought it was stylised for silence of the lambs.

So I looked it up and those mask aren’t used - it was just a stylistic choice for a muzzle for the movie.

Oh gross he did actually freeze her and then jigsaw’d her.

Welp another person for Will to feel guilty about. And another person Hannibal will eat… oh wait he probably already did at the beginning of the episode when he fed jack. Bleh.

Will calling Chilton Frederick is so funny, but Chilty is being so soft with him. His babygirlness is dialed down to a 2/10 but he still gets his smirks in, especially when Will is offering him glory.

Wait, is Gideon still alive? I thought Will shot him outside of Alana’s house?

Hannibal you crazy kidney eating bitch.

Oh Gideon’s alive

So they both know Hannibal is the Chesapeake Ripper but they can’t say.

BabyGirl mildly threatening Hannibal and Hannibal hating to have to stoop to Chilton’s level whom he thinks is so beneath him.

Everybody insulting Chilton because they know he’s listening 😂 poor babygirl.

Boo Freddie Lounds

Wait, so this orderly dude killed the bailiff and the judge? Wait not the judge.

Oh shiiiiit Will asked him to kill Hannibal and Gideon heard.

Does Alana know, is that why she rocked up? But how would she know? Is she still talking to Gideon? All fair questions from Chilty about how everyone bows down to her even though she’s kinda a shit dr. Ooh low blow from Alana about Babygirls guts. And then She asks to speak to Gideon like if they hadn’t spoken since before Gideon escaped so maybe she doesn’t know Will asked the orderly dude to kill Hannibal.

Ooooh I see she really was just there because Will talked to Freddie Lounds (booooo) but I’m guessing Gideon has told Alana now about what he heard.

Mads is very… athletically built. Like damn. Ha, there’s something about this orderly getting in the pool just to show off that he can beat Hannibal at swimming. Oop… just tranq’d Hannibal right in the back. Ok then. This dude doesn’t fuck around… does he… does have watermelon tattoos??

WHAT THE FUCK? THIS GUY WENT FROM ZERO TO HANGING CRUCIFIXION SO FAST

Mads is so freaking broad shouldered Jesus Christ. These shots of his bod are not accidental.

Sometimes the build up in these episodes are great and at the end the killer just turns themselves in or like in this ep it’s just pop. Oop grab hanny END.

Alrighty.

[captain-wereduck]

Superman: The Animated Series (1996)

S01E05: A Little Piece of Home

Mmm, Clancy Brown definitely sounds amazing

Lois pushing Lex's buttons just because. Previously they've confirmed they're exes and damn, I really want to experience *that* trainwreck

Karma bit Clark in the ass for trolling ppl

Lex, why is your museum fingerprint locked? Is opening doors for masses your new hobby?

MERCY!

Lois really do know everyone, doesn't she?

Aw, Lois does care, she ordered chicken soup for Clark! <3 But should we start counting people carrying around Kryptonite with their bare hands?

...aaand Mercy is the sole Competent LexCorp hire.

Clark, I don't think you should drop people from that heights into the water when you know you can't properly protect them. Good thing it's a cartoon

...should I count the sheer homoerotic tension as an innuendo? But I also do love Lex just stepping right into personal space of Superpowered people just to intimidate them

Aww, the lead box. Now I have Smallville feels

...considering how much a murderous animatronic would cost we now know for a fact Lex likes Jurrasic Park a little bit *too much*.

...so. Lois is absolutely badass again, what even the hell. But she's also on camera while breaking in into the museum and absolutely trashing it with a lil help from Superman.

Counting: Lois Saves Superman +1 (total count 2)

<<<<Prev Next>>>>

[houseandwilson]

HOUSEWILSON IN EVERY EPISODE | S01E05 Damned If You Do:

Maybe I’ll come to your place. Your wife doesn’t mind being alone at Christmas? I’m a doctor, she’s used to being alone... I don’t wanna talk about it. Neither do I.

[sy5starplaty]

What I Watched A Year Ago Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist "Zoey's Extraordinary Failure" (S01E05) Original Air Date: 8 March 2020

It seems to me that you just need to change your relationship with failure. And I do that how exactly? Hm. Take my line of bespoke berets. I didn't sell not a damn one of these online. You know what happened? No. But I'm hoping this story ends in Paris. A designer saw them online and asked me to make him a line of scarves, which he never paid me for. But because of him, I met another guy who commissioned me to make a series of portraits of his mother. Weird. But more lucrative than these berets. You'll get better at this. As long as you see every failure not as defeat but as a stepping stone on the road to success.

[skyhopedango]

And so, apropos of absolutely nothing, here's my ranking for the Anthos* solo songs. (No, I'm most definitely not procrastinating, why would you even think that?)

1. Persona (Chise)

Chiseeee! OK, I'd probably like this song the best even if it wasn't also by my favorite, because it's just a fun song. But also it's Chise's song, and it's just so Chise. And I really like the flow and the melody and just the whole thing.

I kind of want to see him perform it. I hope they'll do a choreography for it with the guy who dances Chise's part in the dance videos.

2. Tycoon (Mahiro)

Mahiro: I want to be an idol to bring smiles to people! ^o^)

also Mahiro: FUCK ALL OF YOU SHEEPLE IMMA BE A STAR WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU'D BETTER BE AFRAID OF ME, REST OF YOU CAN FOLLOW ME, GIMME ALL THE AWARDS AND ALL THE PRAISE, I'M GONNA BE THE FUCKING KING OF ALL

This is probably the song that is the farthest from my normal taste in music (whatever counts as "my taste" given how chaotic it is) but I love how edgy it is, in context of the story and the character. Like sure, Mahiro is a good kid. But he also has this side. And after all he's been through he's absolutely earned the right to give a huge middle finger to the people who hurt him.

3. Breathe (Kaoru)

I... I don't know. Honestly this is probably the most generic out of the seven, both in its lyrics and in its melody, it's kind of the most anisong-like. But also it's really earwormy, what with the beat and the chorus, and I keep finding myself having it on repeat, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also I have a soft spot for Kaoru's character type, the gentle ones who, in a hostile and difficult world, do their absolute damned best to hold onto the place they found for themselves, and this song is pretty much about this.

4. Might be (Setsuna)

This is just a cute song. I don't really know its relevance yet re: the character and the lyrics, but just in general it's a cute, easy-on-the-ears song. Who is "Wendy" and what's up with the Peter Pan symbolism in this song? Is Setsuna a robot? Is he a humanoid flower? (pleeeeease) Will we find out in "es"? Oh, the questions.

5. Taiyou ga nemutteiru jikan ni (Haruta)

This had been in the back of my mind forever, and I just realized why - doesn't it sound kind of like a modern, more poppy, more electronica-fied version of an early '00s L'Arc-en-Ciel song? I don't mean like a specific song, but just overall it sort has something of a Laruku vibe. I guess... idek. Anyway, it has something that scratches that particular itch in my subconscious.

(...please stand by while I listen to all of my Laruku albums. Oh god they made such great music, oh the soundtrack of my youth.)

6. Pain in my Heart (Lihito)

Also known as Lihito's song about a FICTIONAL relationship with a WOMAN, okay, a FEMALE PERSON, don't get any weird ideas, people. Also it's about how life is hard and sometimes it happens that you must let go of people you love... no, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Chise, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT.

Anyway, I'm kind of neither here nor there with this song, it's nice and I like its flow, but aside of the meta relevance/hilarity it's not terribly exciting for me.

7. The Days (Ryouga)

Qualities of the song aside, it must have been a really awkward moment when Mahiro first heard it, considering all that went down in S01E05. Here's how I imagine it:

Mahiro: Hey, Ryou-san.

Ryouga: What is it, Hiro? ^_-)

Mahiro: Fuck you. ^_^)

Ryouga: W-what? Why?! *starts sweating*

Mahiro: You know fucking well why. ^_^)

Ryouga: *continues sweating forever*

So yeeeah. What was that about "I'm not gonna lose you again" and "I wanna be your soulmate this time" and so on? After swearing up and down that you're not seeing Chihiro in Mahiro and that Mahiro is "the only Hiro for me" and whatnot? Ryouga, my friend, you're not fooling anyone.

[thankstothe]

NORMAL

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #5: “Pet Siouxicide” | December 3, 2007 - 12:00AM | S01E05

This is a strong contender for best episode of season one. I actually remember sitting with my best friend/roommate and watching this, doing just the most MASSIVE laughs. We were probably all like “DAMN! That was a good one!”. It was 2007, We all talked like that… give me a freaking break!

In this episode, Xavier happens upon a pet shop owner who is in crisis. His shop is going under, despite his best efforts to make weird animals using genetic engineering. They all have funny, funny names, but it seems like stealing somehow to just list them here. I’ll highlight the last one: “a bag of pur”, which is just a brown lunch sack that has purring noises coming out of it. Very memorable, used the phrase on many a cat. Most of them got the reference.

This one is largely a parody of the Richard Pryor motion picture (in theaters now) The Toy, a movie that I’ve avoided because whenever I caught some on TV it always seemed, uh, a little too weird, if you know what I mean. Hey, that’s okay… coolsville, daddy-o. This episode has Xavier helping the the pet store man get out of his pet debt by offering himself as an expensive pet to a rich boy who gets everything he wants. Xavier flips the tables on him and causes him to become enlightened. The boy no longer believes that “pain is a myth invented by poor people who don’t want to work”. He now wants to “buy up all the suffering in the world and drown it like a kitten”. 

This includes a memorable presentation about Emodynamics, a concept where the amount of joy you feel will directly cause that proportionate amount of pain elsewhere. “Joy can not be created or destroyed”. Very funny, slightly gruesome visuals in this. When they cut to the “deformed” cow and it just has like corny-ass clown shit on its face, mama mia, you know I gotta love it. These guys are like, so good at the precise amount of gruesome a comedy show should be. Like, just enough to be truly potent. They are scientists as much as they are craftsmen.

Xavier is such a lively, dense show that you forget sometimes that certain bits came from certain episodes. This one is sort of like that because it moves into a new story where the rich boy wants to make his father see the error of his ways by injecting him with indian blood extracted from an ancient indian burial ground, which will cause him to identify with the plight of the noble native American (just like Tom Loughlin before him). This causes the dad to greedily open an Indian casino.

Famous commercial reference: Xavier and the rich boy’s father re-enact some of the classic “I learned it from watching you!” PSA. Please! View it if you have not!

Eventually there is a show-down between blood indians and blood cowboys (from an ancient cowboy burial ground). I don’t really feel like elaborating on this plot point, sometimes this show can really disorient you. There was a line I’m forgetting that explains the insane logic of getting to this point. The cowboys are Muslim because their blood got tainted by oil reserves beneath the burial ground. Insanely funny and dicey joke. Watch this on HBOMax before they find out about it. Extremely funny episode.

EPHEMERA CORNER

[castiel]

teen wolf s01e05 live blog

1) please let the werewolf eat jackson

2) damn. he just stroked his neck with his claws

3) ashdjlasadkl scott and derek just standing on the roof of a one story building in plain sight of all the cops. starting to think the cops in this show aren’t the brightest

4) i really did not understand why allison was weird about being 17 lol clearly i’ve already forgotten what age high schoolers should be

5) “one more question. do you find me attractive?” dsakldnlaskdn oh stiles

6) “what the hell is a ‘stiles’?” girl i don’t know either

7) can’t believe lydia’s mum just let a boy into her daughter’s room when she’s drugged up and basically in lingerie.... 

8) ok i take it back, kate’s a dick

9) ...... jackson is adopted and just wants to make someone proud, someone he’s never met.... DON’T MAKE ME FEEL THINGS ABOUT JACKSON

10) OK so stiles isn’t his name lol why are they teasing meeeeeee just say it. it can’t be that bad

11) WOW.... “lack of a MALE authority figure.” the chemistry teacher is an ASS of the first degree

12) omg. scott pulling an edward and saving allison from the car 

13) aww... poor puma :( 

final thoughts: the vet is sketch for sure.

[myonechicagoworld]

CHICAGO FIRE – HANGING ON (S01E05)

Hallie Thomas: Hello? 

Matt Casey: Just checking in.

Hallie Thomas: I’m fine…

                          Really… I should be checking on you.

Matt Casey: Not a care in the world.

                      Turn here.

Hallie Thomas: Some gang cop breaks into our cars, and you  

                           don’t have a care in the world?

Matt Casey: That’s right. Just another day. 

Hallie Thomas: I want it noted for the record that I don’t believe a  

                          word you’re saying.

Matt Casey: Good thing you’re a doctor and not a lawyer, because 

                      I’m just gonna let this blow over. Call you later.

                      I’ll just be a minute.

Peter Mills: Lieutenant.

                                        [truck door shuts]

Lady 1 (lady on the phone): Sir, um, you can’t go in there. Sir?

                                      [door swings open]

Hank Voight: Listen, I have a visitor. I’ll get back to you.

                                         [receiver clicks]

Matt Casey: Stay away from me.

Hank Voight: Excuse me?

Matt Casey: I’m telling you to back off. 

                     I’m telling you and whatever garbage you have   

                     working under you to stay the hell away from 

                     us.

Hank Voight: Sir, I don’t know what this department did to…

Matt Casey: I mean it. 

Hank Voight: Get your ass out of my office before I throw you  

                       through that window.

Matt Casey: The threats don’t work, Voight. 

                      I’m not some scared banger begging for a look the  

                      other way. Know this…I’m not retracting my 

                      statement. Ever.

                      What, you all afraid of this guy? Huh?

                      Someone tell me why.

Hank Voight: Alright, come on, get back to work. Show’s over.

(Over radio): Truck 81. Factory accident, Ogden and Ash.

                                            [engine starts]

Matt Casey: Drive.

                                          [truck door shuts]

                                                  cutscene

Man 1: He’s over here.

             Move out of the way. Move! Move!

Kelly Severide: How we doing?

Victim 1: [panting] I just need some help getting it out.

Kelly Severide: Okay, well, just stay with us.

Christopher Herrmann: The power’s off, it’s locked out. Holy cow.

Mouch: Bone saw.

Gabby Dawson: What do we got?

Leslie Shay: Excuse me.

Kelly Severide: Trapped arm,

Gabby Dawson: How are you feeling?

Victim 1: Not so good to tell you the truth.

Gabby Dawson: [whispers] That’s a lot of blood.

                            What’s your name, hun?

Victim 1: [clears throat] Garrett.

Gabby Dawson: Garrett, how long you been stuck, hun?

Victim 1 (Garrett): [groans & whimpers] I don’t know.

Gabby Dawson: [yelling] How long’s he been stuck?

Man 1: Going on 15.

Victim 1 (Garrett): [groans]

Firefighter: Here it is.

Leslie Shay: There we go.

Gabby Dawson: Okay, we gotta get him out now.

Kelly Severide: Alright, I loosen it up a little bit.

Victim 1 (Garrett): Good. 

Gabby Dawson: Garrett, we’re just gonna put some morphine in  

                            alright? Give us a minute.

Leslie Shay: You good?

Firefighter: Mmhmm. 

Leslie Shay: Alright sweetie, I gave you some morphine. You 

                     should feel better soon, okay?

Gabby Dawson: Garrett, we’re gonna try to ease your arm out now, 

                            okay?

Victim 1 (Garrett): [whimpering]

Gabby Dawson: Here we go. One…Two…three.

Victim 1 (Garrett): [screams] No! Stop! I can’t! I can’t!

                                           - Title Screen -

Matt Casey: Gear segments come right off. 

Hadley: What do you need?

Matt Casey: Wait. If we get the gears off, we can separate the  

                      casing and travel with it. We need power drills, 

                      ¼ inch hex, an Allen key. 

Capp: Excuse me, Sir.

Matt Casey: Mills, do the gears.

Capp: Here you go, Lieutenant.

Gabby Dawson: Okay?

Victim 1 (Garrett): [grunting]

                               God.

Kelly Severide: Let me in.

Peter Mills: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it.

Matt Casey: Okay.

Victim 1 (Garrett): God!

Matt Casey: Come on.

                                           [drill buzzes]

Victim 1 (Garrett): [groaning]

Kelly Severide: Watch out, buddy.

                          Come on, Mills.

                          Support it, support it.

Gabby Dawson: Ready? Gurney’s coming in, guys.

Kelly Severide: Okay.

Hadley: Back up, back up, back up.

Leslie Shay: Behind you.

Peter Mills: Clear?

Firefighter: We’re clear.

Matt Casey: Okay.

Gabby Dawson: You good?

Matt Casey: Take it.

Hadley: Got it.

Victim 1 (Garrett): [screams] Oh God!

Kelly Severide: Watch it, watch it.

Firefighter: Got it, got it.

Leslie Shay: Sit down, sweetie. Sit down. Sit down. 

Kelly Severide: Do his legs. Do his legs.

Peter Mills: Just lay down. Lay down.

Victim 1 (Garrett): [groans]

Gabby Dawson: Alright, let’s get him out of here.

Leslie Shay: Casey, Severide, we need you guys. We gotta get this 

                     rig off.

Matt Casey: Yeah.

                                          [train horn blaring]

Victim 1 (Garrett): [groans]

                               God!

Gabby Dawson: Grab the I.V., set it to 5 millilitres drip.

                            We need 4x4s to stop this bleeding and call  

                            Lakeshore and tell them…[continues 

                            indistinctly]

Matt Casey: Ugh.

Kelly Severide: You all right?

Matt Casey: I didn’t sleep well.

Gabby Dawson: Hey, let’s go.

                                             [sirens wailing]

Leslie Shay: Possible crush syndrome, gave four of morphine,   

                     heart rate 130, his BP 110  palp, 2 litres of saline.

Victim 1 (Garrett): Call my boss, tell him…tell him that I’ll be there 

                               tomorrow, so don’t worry about… covering my 

                               shift.

Kelly Severide: Dude really loves his job.

Gabby Dawson: Ready on three.

                            One, two, three.

Victim 1 (Garrett): [screams] Oh, God!

                               [mumbling]

Nurse 1: He’s out. 

Hallie Thomas: Tourniquet’s on. 

                           And we’re ready here.

Matt Casey: Alright, let’s get this thing off.

                     Okay. This piece should just slide out.

                     Here. Ready?

Kelly Severide: Yeah.

Matt Casey: Thank you.

Hallie Thomas: Ease his arm.

Matt Casey: There’s two pieces.

Kelly Severide: I’ll grab it. I got it.

Hallie Thomas: Type and cross four units stat. I need  

                           compression. Get him to O.R. five. 

                           Go, go, go.

                           What a way to start the day.

Matt Casey: Not exactly.

Kelly Severide: Good to see you, Hallie.

Hallie Thomas: You too.

                           Well?

Matt Casey: Went to the CPD this morning; talked to Voight.

Hallie Thomas: You two talked it out?

Matt Casey: No.

                     I yelled.

Leslie Shay: Hey.

Kelly Severide: Hey.

                          Don’t suppose you could point me towards the  

                          Toradol? I might have twisted my shoulder again.

Leslie Shay: You’re dreaming.

Kelly Severide: Alright, don’t point. Just look toward it. I’ll do the 

                          rest.

Leslie Shay: Ugh.

                     [sighs]

                     [grunts in frustration]

Hallie Thomas: You don’t have to do it yourself.

Matt Casey: Then who else is gonna do it?

Hallie Thomas: The system…[continues indistinctly]

Leslie Shay: We ready?

Hallie Thomas: I want you to come home to me, Matt.

Gabby Dawson: Whatever.

                                               cutscene

Mouch: So wait, this bioactive refreshment can only be found on   

              what, Chebeague Island?

Christopher Herrmann: No, genius, it starts there in a natural  

                                        spring. They infuse it with the protein  

                                        and enzymes after in a laboratory. 

                                        Listen, all I know is this kid that I grew up  

                                        with is making a mint hocking this stuff.  

                                        You should see his status reports on 

                                        Facebook or whatnot. 

Otis Zvonecek: I’m sure he’s got a brand new Mercedes and a hot 

                           wife. 

Christopher Herrmann: Something like that.

Chief Boden: Hey, where’s Casey?

Christopher Herrmann: Guy got his arm buried in a machine,   

                                        so he went with Shay and Dawson to 

                                        the hospital to unbury it.

Chief Boden: You guys know anything about a visit to the CPD 

                        today?

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah, we made a stop coming back from Caldwell, 

                           said he needed to talk to somebody.

Chief Boden: Okay.

Otis Zvonecek: [gulping] That’s pretty good, actually. 

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah, sells itself.

                                         I got plenty more, guys. Drink up.

                                                [chuckling]

                                                 cutscene

                                            [water running]

Kelly Severide: You were good under there…with that machine.

Matt Casey: Thanks.

                                                cutscene

Mouch: Dawson.

              A little thank you from the paramedics regulatory board for 

              saving the Madeline girl last month. That’s your copy.

Gabby Dawson: Unbelievable. 

                            [exhales] “This serves as an acknowledgement   

                            that you have read and understood why this 

                            written reprimand was issued.”

Leslie Shay: Dawson, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. You did the  

                     right thing, you know that. That girl would have died.

Mouch: Hey, it’s barely a slap on the wrist.

              I know Carla over there. I’ll make sure this goes right into  

              her circular file.

Gabby Dawson: Thanks, Mouch.

                            Oh, chives in the eggs. My day is getting better 

                            already.

Peter Mills: Thank you. Look.

Gabby Dawson: Hot sauce? Ugh, sorry.

Peter Mills: Lieutenant Casey, you eating?

Matt Casey: No.

Peter Mills: Okay.

Chief Boden: Casey, come with me.

Chief Grogan: The allegations are unfounded.

Chief Boden: Unfounded? I’m sorry, Chief Grogan, this has got 

                        Voight’s name written all over it.

Chief Grogan: There are no witnesses that Detective Voight was  

                         anywhere but on the job Halloween night.

                         Do you know how many tires got slashed that day?

Chief Boden: 15 years he worked gang unit. You don’t think he’s 

                        got a few locals who can do his dirty work?

Chief Grogan: And that is exactly why we have Internal Affairs and 

                        the A.S.A.’s office investigating. But I gotta tell you, 

                        without a direct link, what do you suggest we do, 

                        Chief Boden?

Chief Boden: I suggest you handle your precinct.

Chief Grogan: Wait just a damn minute.

Chief Boden: My Lieutenant and his fiancée are being harassed.  

                       Don’t you tell me to wait.

Matt Casey: Forget it, Chief. CPD isn’t gonna help. 

                     I’ll do it my own way.

Chief Boden: Casey, no. 

Matt Casey: Give me a better alternative.

                     Something.

Antonio Dawson: I’ll be the primary.

                              I.A., A.S.A., they got fish frying all over the city. 

                              I’ll take the lead on this. 

Chief Grogan: That’s fine by me.

                         We good here?

Chief Boden: Yeah, we’re good.

                                                   cutscene

                               [phone unlocks, keypad beeping]

Kelly Severide: [grunts] Anna, hey, it’s Kelly Severide. Sorry I  

                           haven’t called you back sooner. I changed 

                           cell phone numbers, and it was a big hassle. 

                           Anyway, look forward to hearing from you. 

                           Um, give me a call back when you have a 

                           chance.

                                               [phone locks]

Kelly Severide: [exhales and inhales sharply]

                                    [alarm sounds, PA buzzes]

Kelly Severide: [sighs]

(Over PA): Squad 3, Truck 94. Construction accident, 6248 South 

                  Francisco.

                                 [sirens wailing, horns honking]

Victim 2: [screams] Help! 

Victim 3: I can’t hold him!

Victim 2: Hurry! Help me! 

Victim 3: He’s slipping!

Victim 2: I can’t hold out! Help!

Kelly Severide: I’ll need your aerial on the other side of the church. 

                          Do the best you can, we’ll do the rest. 

                          Let’s gear up.

Victim 3: I can’t hold it!

Kelly Severide: Vargas, when they lock it down, have the rope bag   

                           at the ladder ready to go.

Jose Vargas: Got it.

Kelly Severide: Get that truck over there! Let’s go!

                                             [horn blaring]

Victim 3: I can’t…I can’t hold him.

Victim 2: Help! Please!

                                   [chatter on emergency radio]

Kelly Severide: Talk to me.

Victim 3: He’s slipping.

Victim 2: I’m loose!

Kelly Severide: Try to stay still. 

Victim 2 & 3: [whimpering & grunting] Hurry!

Kelly Severide: Coming to you. You hold tight now.

Victim 3: I can’t – I can’t hold him!

Victim 2: Help! Please! 

                                     [indistinct chatter on radio]

Kelly Severide: Alright, hang on me.

Victim 2: I-I can’t move.

Kelly Severide: Can you reach out with your other arm?

Victim 2: I can’t move it, no.

Victim 3: It’s my fault.

Kelly Severide: It’s alright. Just be calm, okay. We’re gonna get  

                          both of you down.

Victim 2 & 3: [whimpering]

Capp: This blue line’s for you. Gonna hook you up, take you down 

           first. 

Hadley: Line secure!

Kelly Severide: Okay, you can let go of him, we’ve got it.

Victim 2: [grunting]

Capp: No need to push off. Small steps.

           Here we go.

Kelly Severide: Keep it steady up there, Hadley.

Victim 3: He told me not to walk along the top, and I didn’t listen. 

Kelly Severide: What’s your name?

Victim 3: It’s Ty.

Kelly Severide: All right. Well, hold on, Ty.

Victim 3 (Ty): No, don’t, don’t, don’t! My leg! My leg!

Capp: All the way to the pavement. You’ve got it. 

Kelly Severide: Give me your hand.

                                            [creaking]

Hadley: Kelly!

Victim 3 (Ty): [screams] Ahh!

Kelly Severide: Hey, hang on!

                          Hadley, get that rope up here!

Capp: Doing great, doing great.

           (over radio) All clear. Pick it up.

Kelly Severide: Hang on.    

Victim 3 (Ty): [groaning] 

Kelly Severide: Aah! 

                          [groans] Aah!

                          Ty, reach up. In my right leg pocket, there’s a knife. 

Victim 3 (Ty): I can’t.

Kelly Severide: Ty.

                           Hey, listen to me. You have to. Gotta lose that  

                           extra weight.

Victim 3 (Ty): [groaning]

                      Come on.

                      Ahh! 

Kelly Severide: Cut the line.

                          Watch out below!

                                                     [thud]

Kelly Severide: [grunts]

Victim 3 (Ty): [groans]

Kelly Severide: Ty, grab the line. Clamp it to your harness.

Victim 3 (Ty): I got it, I got it, I got it.

Kelly Severide: [yells] Okay, Hadley.

                           Ty, just slow now the rest of the way, alright?

Hadley: [grunting]

Tony & Capp: I got ya, I got ya.

Victim 3 (Ty): Ah, ah.

Kelly Severide: [silently groaning]

                                             [sirens wailing]

Kelly Severide: [breathing heavily & grunting]

                                                 cutscene

Jose Vargas: Hey Lieutenant, just so you know, I’ve completed all 

                       the descent rescue training. 

Kelly Severide: When I think you’re ready, you’ll be the first to know.

Jose Vargas: Right, I just didn’t want you to waste… 

Kelly Severide: Hey!

Jose Vargas: All your resources.

Kelly Severide: Let it go. I’ve got other things to worry about 

                          besides your career track.

Jose Vargas: [sighs]

Phone Operator: Please leave a message after the tone.

Kelly Severide: Hey, Anna, it’s Kelly again.

                          Listen, I really need you to call me back. If I don’t 

                          answer, you can just leave me a message. I’ll get 

                          back to you. Thanks.

                         [sniffs]

                                              [water running]

                                                 cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: Red carpet treatment. I like it.

Cindy Herrmann: Mmhmm.

                                            [car door shuts]

Cindy Herrmann: My dad wants to know when he can put his  

                              snow blower back in the garage.

Christopher Herrmann: Oh, yeah?

Cindy Herrmann: Mmhmm.

Christopher Herrmann: Mm. 

Cindy Herrmann: Mm.

                                               [kissing sound]

Christopher Herrmann: We’ll be running through that water faster  

                                         than a blizzard in December. Trust me.

Cindy Herrmann: Just don’t put too much pressure on this idea, 

                             please?

                              We’ll be okay.

Christopher Herrmann: We’re getting a house, Cindy. The kids  

                                         need their own space. We need our 

                                         own space, hmm?

Cindy Herrmann: Mmhmm.

                                             [kissing sound]

Christopher Herrmann: Tell your dad to sell that metal lathe.  

                                         There’ll be plenty of room in there.

Cindy Herrmann: Don’t even mention the lathe.

Christopher Herrmann: Your mom uses it as a drying rack. 

Cindy Herrmann: Don’t.

                                           [car door shuts]

Christopher Herrmann: Anyone home?

Cindy Herrmann: No.

Christopher Herrmann: [growls]

Cindy Herrmann: Oh! [laughs]

Christopher Herrmann: Get over here!

                                          [door slamming]

                                                 cutscene

Matt Casey: [grunting]

                     [groaning]

Masked Men: [grunting & groaning]

Matt Casey: [grunting]

Hallie Thomas: No cracked ribs. You’re next in line for the CT scan.

                          Will you sit up for me?

Matt Casey: Yeah [groaning] 

Hallie Thomas: I need you to take some deep breaths, okay?

Matt Casey: Okay [breathes deeply]

Hallie Thomas: Again.

Matt Casey: [breathes deeply, raggedly] [groans]

Hallie Thomas: It sounds clear. That’s good.

                          You can lay back.

Matt Casey: [whimpers]

Chief Boden: Casey, how are you?

Antonio Dawson: So, no faces for these guys? Markings? Anything

                              distinguishable?

Matt Casey: One of them had a tattoo. Forearm.

Antonio Dawson: Left? Right?

Matt Casey: Left. 

                      Oh, God, maybe right.

Antonio Dawson: Think.

Matt Casey: I am thinking!

Antonio Dawson: [sighs] All right. All right, rest for a few.

Chief Boden: Matt. Matt! Believe me, I know what you’re going  

                       through, and I know what you’re thinking but we 

                       are gonna figure out how to do this the right way. 

                       Do you hear me? 

Matt Casey: Yeah.

Chief Boden: Okay.

                       Okay, talk to me. What are you gonna do? 

Antonio Dawson: For starters, we gotta identify at least one of the 

                              attackers.  

Christopher Herrmann: Doesn’t matter. It was that Detective  

                                         yanking those kids’ strings. 

Antonio Dawson: I’m sure it was. But if I can’t connect the hitters  

                              to Voight, and Voight knows this better than  

                              anyone, we don’t have a thing.

Peter Mills: What can we do now, Chief?

Mouch: Well, I’ll tell you what I’d do. Grab a halligan and ring that  

              son of a bitch’s doorbell.

Chief Boden: You guys, keep your eyes forward, and you stay out  

                       of it. Support your Lieutenant. Have his back, that’s it.

Hallie Thomas: Think the Chief’s right. 

Matt Casey: I am not gonna sit back and take it. 

Hallie Thomas: I’m not saying that you should. But you make one  

                          wrong decision, and suddenly you’re the bad guy,  

                          and that’s exactly what he wants. 

Matt Casey: [ragged breathing]

Hallie Thomas: Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise.

Matt Casey: I promise.

                                            [kissing sound]

                                               cutscene

                                           [razor buzzing]

                                            [door chimes]

Chief Boden: Oh my god, how long’s the wait?

Terrance: [chuckles] What? Did I screw up that do of yours?

Chief Boden: No more than you usually do.

Terrance: Oh, [laughs] now you’re just begging for a long wait. 

Chief Boden: [laughs] 

                       Can I see you for a minute?

                                        [razor stops buzzing]

Terrance: Be right back, DJ.

Chief Boden: I got me a problem with a cop. White cop.

Terrance: Not the first time I’ve heard that complaint around here.

Chief Boden: He’s a dirty cop, Terrance. I need me someone who’ll  

                       wear a wire.

Terrance: Dirty white cop.

                 I’m into it.

                                                  cutscene 

Kelly Severide: Hey. 

                                             [kissing sound]

Anna: I about died when your name came up on my phone.

Kelly Severide: Yeah? Well, I’m glad you didn’t.

Anna: Are you still fighting fires?

Kelly Severide: Yeah, most of the time.

Anna: We were good together. Am I right?

Kelly Severide: Yeah, sure. We had our moments. For a while.

Anna: The coat room at the Drake.

Kelly Severide: Definitely a moment.

                           I have a favour to ask you, Anna.

Anna: I knew there was gonna be a catch.

           I’m staying at the Peninsula. Conference B.S. for the next

           three days. Pick a night, and ask me for your favour then.

                                                 cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: [sighs]

Otis Zvonecek: What’s up, Herrmann?

Christopher Herrmann: Nada.

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah? You look like your dog just died.

Christopher Herrmann: That’s just insensitive.

                                         Alright, look, it’s just when I…

                                         Hey, Lieutenant.

Mouch: You should take a few more days, Casey. Well within your 

              rights.

Matt Casey: Eh, I’d just be staring at the ceiling. I’m going to look  

                     at mugshots.

Antonio Dawson: Speaking of, where do you wanna do this?

                              The guys who assaulted you have a record, 

                               guaranteed. Means they’ve been processed,  

                               and we have those tats on file. See if you can 

                               recall one of those.

Matt Casey: [grunts]

Gabby Dawson: Oh, sorry to interrupt. I’m just grabbing my stuff.

                            [whispers] Hey, any progress?

Antonio Dawson: We’ll get there. Unless you got a magic wand on 

                              you.

GabbyDawson: [laughs]

                                                 [phone rings]

Matt Casey: I gotta…[grunts] I gotta take it.

                      Hi.

Hallie Thomas: I, um, I’m just holding to our agreement.  

                          I’m checking in with you. You okay?

Matt Casey: Just looking at photographs of tattoos. 

Hallie Thomas: You never know.

Matt Casey: That’s right. 

Hallie Thomas: I love you.

Matt Casey: I love you too.

Gabby Dawson: [sighs]

Hallie Thomas: Do this the right way, or I may have to come down 

                          there. 

Matt Casey: [chuckles] 

                      So maybe the right way isn’t so right.

Hallie Thomas: Maybe not.

                                   [alarm sounds, PA buzzes]

(Over PA): Ambulance 61, head injury. Northwest corner of Hyde 

                  Park.

Gabby Dawson: Gotta go.

Antonio Dawson: Go get ‘em.

Gabby Dawson: Mmhmm.

                                                   cutscene

Leslie Shay: What’s his name?

Teen 1: What the hell difference does it make? His name’s Vince. 

             Fix him.

Leslie Shay: Vince, can you hear me?

                      All right, if you can hear me, don’t move, blink twice.

Gabby Dawson: C-collar.

Leslie Shay: Yeah.

Teen 1: How long are you gonna leave him lying there? Get him in  

             the damn ambulance already!

Gabby Dawson: What happened?

Teen 1: We rode it off down this ramp, we flipped, he hit first.

Gabby Dawson: You on something, huh? What are you on? 

Teen 1: You need to shut up. Fix him, not me.

Gabby Dawson: Come on.

                            Here we go. On three. One, two, three.

Gabby Dawson: We’ll see you at the hospital. Lakeshore.

Teen 1: I’m going with him.

Gabby Dawson: No you’re not. 

Teen 1: This ain’t up to you lady.

             [groans]

Gabby Dawson: On behalf of the Paramedics Association of 

                            America, I offer my sincerest apologies for  

                            the forceful actions I exhibited here today.

                                                 [engine starts]

                                           [onlookers laughing]

                                                [sirens blares]

                                                    cutscene

                                                   [moaning]

Anna: My God I missed that.

           [exhales deeply]

Kelly Severide: I need a favour, Anna.

Anna: Can we just order a little room service first?

Kelly Severide: You asked me to meet you here, and I did.

Anna: Fine, go ahead. You want a favour, let’s hear it.

Kelly Severide: I need something…okay? Something strong.

                                                 cutscene

Gabby Dawson: Ah! Whoo.

Peter Mills: What is that?

Gabby Dawson: This is my leftovers. Chicken mac and cheese. 

                            Whoa! Hey! 

Peter Mills: No, no, no. That smell, I can’t be held responsible. 

Gabby Dawson: [scoffs]

Peter Mills: Where’d you get this?

Gabby Dawson: Oh, screw you, Mills. I made it.

Peter Mills: Okay, well, name the ingredients.

Gabby Dawson: [laughs] I’m not gonna tell you that. It’s handed  

                            down from my grandmother – hey! It’s a secret.

Peter Mills: I will figure it out. 

Gabby Dawson: Many have tried, young Peter Mills. All have failed.

Peter Mills: Come on! Let me get one more bite at least.

Christopher Herrmann: (on phone) What? Wha…you accepted the 

                                        shipment?

                                        No, it-it’s okay. Just don’t open any of

                                        them. I’ll deal with it when I get back. 

                                        Thank you.

                                        In-laws are single-handedly cutting my life  

                                        expectancy in half.

Otis Zvonecek: What is going on with you?

Christopher Herrmann: [sighs] Just hanging on for dear life.

Otis Zvonecek: Spill it.

Christopher Herrmann: I have cases of this damned energy water  

                                         sitting in my in-laws’ garage, and I’m 

                                         never gonna be able to off-load. I’m in for 

                                         a grand already, and they just keep 

                                         coming. They call it multi-level marketing, 

                                         but it’s a pyramid scheme. 

                                         And I don’t know what I’m gonna tell 

                                        Cindy.

Otis Zvonecek: So return it.

Christopher Herrmann: It’s non-refundable.

Otis Zvonecek: Non-refundable is a word made up by lawyers.

Christopher Herrmann: I signed a contract.

Otis Zvonecek: Give me the number.

                                               cutscene

Gabby Dawson: That is absurd!

                            Well, then, fine. I guess you’ll know where to find 

                            me.

                            On the job!

Leslie Shay: What was all that about?

Gabby Dawson: That frat kid, he filed a complaint with the city.

Leslie Shay: Oh, the kid’s just embarrassed. No way he’ll ever  

                     follow through on that.

Gabby Dawson: Well, he just did, Shay.

Leslie Shay: Well, that’s ridiculous, and screw them.

                      You know I would have done the same thing.

Gabby Dawson: Well, you didn’t. I did.

                            And…that makes two, for everyone keeping score.

                            County said that they could suspend me this time.

                                [alarm sounds, PA buzzes]

(Over PA): Ambulance 61, Altered mental status. West Madison 

                 Street.

Chief Boden: Dawson, I rerouted that call to 34. 

                       Dawson, I need to see you.

                       Come on.

Gabby Dawson: Reckless infliction of emotional distress? Are you 

                            kidding me?

Chief Hatcher: You have a bit of a track record lately, wouldn’t you 

                          say?

Mouch: Apples and oranges. 

Gabby Dawson: Except both involve me saving a life; which I did.

Chief Hatcher: Both involve violations in a very short time span. 

Mouch: But…

Gabby Dawson: That…

Mouch: This isn’t enough to warrant suspension, Chief. No way.

Chief Hatcher: Well, be ready for the possibility. And be absolutely  

                          certain that your memory of the event is accurate to 

                          the best of your knowledge. 

Gabby Dawson: Like what? That I kicked the belligerent jackass  

                            with one foot or two?

Chief Boden: Is there a date set for this hearing?

Chief Hatcher: Not at the moment.

Mouch: There won’t be one, Chief. This will be a written warning  

               just like the other. One call.

                                               [phone rings]

Chief Boden: Well, whatever you need to do. You take care of this.

Gabby Dawson: [sighs]

Mouch: [whispers] It’s fine.

Chief Boden: I have someone. 

                       I know a guy who lives in Voight’s neighbourhood   

                       who knows a kid who’s willing to wear a wire.   

                       We’re gonna meet him at the end of the shift.

                                                  cutscene

                                               [siren wails]

                                     [indistinct radio chatter]

                                           [car door shuts]

Hank Voight: Evening, ma’am. Got you rolling through a stop back 

                       there.

Hallie Thomas: What stop?

Hank Voight: I can let it go with a warning this time. 

                      Just do me a favour. Talk some sense into your man. 

Hallie Thomas: Excuse me?

Hank Voight: I’d really hate to see things get uglier than they 

                      already are.

                      Thank you, Hallie. Have a good night.

                                                   cutscene

Chief Boden: So what’s the process here? 

Antonio Dawson: If the kid’s willing to go on tape, we’ll set up a 

                              sting. 

                                              [phone rings]

Matt Casey: Hey baby. 

                     What’s wrong? Everything all right?

                     I get it. Just why didn’t you call me last night when it 

                     happened?

                                            [car door shuts]

                                                cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: Manager.

                          Man-a-ger.

                          Speak…to…manager.

                          Yes.

                                                 cutscene

Leslie Shay: Come on, let’s get out of here.

                      Where do you…where do you wanna go? Someplace  

                       loud? We can go to Jenson’s? They have good 

                       music. Wanna go someplace quiet, get coffee?   

                       Library maybe? Want to peruse a novel or flip  

                       through some microfilm? [chuckles] Do they 

                       even make microfilm anymore?

Gabby Dawson: I think I already have a plan.

Leslie Shay: Yeah? What?

Gabby Dawson: I’m gonna cook.

                                                 cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: (sighs) Well, the terms of the note are 

                           misrepresented.

                           Why, yes, I am an attorney. Are you?

Christopher Herrmann: [whispers] No…[continues indistinctly]

Otis Zvonecek: Oh, you’re in marketing. Perfect. So you should  

                           know that the basic premise of a pyramid 

                           scheme was found to be illegal in accordance 

                           with the case of Landers versus Holcroft 1985. 

Christopher Herrmann: [mouthing] Stop it…

Otis Zvonecek: And so, if you are illegally refusing my client’s rights 

                          on page one, trust me, [chuckles] it’s not getting  

                          any better on pages 10, 11, or 12, guaranteed.

                          I-I-I do this for a living, sir. All it’s gonna cost me   

                          are the filing fees.

                          That’s right. Small claims, better business bureau.  

                          I can turn this into a real, three-ring circus and not 

                          lose a minute of sleep. 

Christopher Herrmann: [mouthing] Don’t. Stop it.

Otis Zvonecek: I am gonna drain your pockets of 10 grand so fast,  

                          all the fake energy water in the world won’t 

                         rehydrate them.

Christopher Herrmann: [sighs]

Otis Zvonecek: Uh, huh. Yes. 

                           Overnight it, please. 

                           They wanna know where to send the refund.

                            Non-refundable [chuckles]

Christopher Herrmann: Hello? Yeah.

                                                cutscene

Kelly Severide: You seen Vargas?

Hadley: Yeah, he’s heading in. Oh hey, you got a phone call a few  

              minutes ago, by the way. Some woman, name was Anna?

Kelly Severide: Oh, okay, thanks.

                          Hey Vargas, grab your rappelling gear.

Jose Vargas: What? Shift’s ending.

Kelly Severide: You heard me.

                                             cutscene

                                         [train passing]

Terrance: This is Darell. 

Chief Boden: This is Detective Dawson.

Antonio Dawson: What have you got for us, kid? 

Darell: Voight bad, man. Whole West Side up and down know to 

            step back.

Antonio Dawson: You done favours for him?

Darell: Yeah. Hell, enough to get tight.

Antonio Dawson: Yeah? What’s he told you?

Darell: Mess with the lady, expect a payday. But go after you? 

            He said he’s take care of all of us. “Anything you need,”  

            he said. ‘Get out of jail free’ passes for me and some 

            others.

Matt Casey: So you’ll wear a wire? 

Darell: Hell, yeah.

Antonio Dawson: When did Voight reach out last?

Darell: Two weeks ago.

Matt Casey: Two weeks?

Darell: Maybe a week.

Matt Casey: Which is it?

Darell: A week then. 

Antonio Dawson: Ay-yi-yi.

Darell: Whatever you want it to be, you tell me.

Matt Casey: This guy’s full of it. 

Darell: Look, I get paid, I get you what you want. Everybody makes 

            out. Problems go away. It’s capitalism man.

Chief Boden: Get the hell out of here.

Darell: It ain’t gotta be like that.

Chief Boden: I said get the hell out.

Darell: Right.

Terrance: I thought he was legit.

Chief Boden: Casey!

                                                cutscene

Gabby Dawson: Sorry for the wait, Peter Mills.

                            Bon appetit.

Peter Mills: Thank you.

                    [sniffs] So good.

Gabby Dawson: Good luck.

Peter Mills: Yeah?

                     Mmm. Chicken…rotisserie?

Gabby Dawson: Mmhmm.

Peter Mills: Bacon, red peppers, sweet onions, a tablespoon of 

                    butter?

Gabby Dawson: Mmhmm.

Peter Mills: Uh huh. Uh, oil…olive oil.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah.

Peter Mills: Uh…[sniffs]

                    Gruyere cheese?

Gabby Dawson: Yeah.

Peter Mills: Yeah?

Gabby Dawson: And parmesan…

Peter Mills: No, please don’t spot me. I can get it.

Gabby Dawson: I gotta spot you ‘cause you’re not gonna get it.

Peter Mills: What won’t I get? What am I missing?

Gabby Dawson: The thing that makes it a family secret.

Peter Mills: Ah.

Gabby Dawson: Ah. 

Peter Mills: Tell me what it is.

Gabby Dawson: No [chuckles]

Peter Mills: Look, I will tell my mom to put it on the menu 

                    tomorrow. 

Gabby Dawson: [laughs]

Peter Mills: We can call it “Grandma Dawson’s mac and cheese.”

                    Come on.

Gabby Dawson: Another one bites the dust.

Peter Mills: Ah.

Gabby Dawson: Oh. Bam.

Peter Mills: [chuckles]

Gabby Dawson: [laughs]

Peter Mills: All right. 

                    [sniffs]

                    Nutmeg.

Gabby Dawson: Nobody ever gets that. Ever.

Peter Mills: Ooh!

                    Yes, yes! 

Gabby Dawson: [laughs] How did you do that?

                            You are lucky.

Peter Mills: Nobody but me, baby.

Gabby Dawson: Oh my God [laughs]

                                            [phone rings]

Gabby Dawson: That’s just…that’s friggin’ luck.

Peter Mills: That is talent. That is all that is.

Gabby Dawson: One sec.

                            Mouch, what do you know?

Mouch: Yeah I’ve got bad news. They’ve scheduled a hearing.

               I tried like hell to fight it off, but that’s the way it stands.  

               I’ll call you later with more.

Gabby Dawson: Mills, where do you keep the liquor?

                                                 cutscene

Capp: There he is.

Kelly Severide: And time!

                          6:42, ladies. He obliterated your old time.

Hadley: [laughs]

Kelly Severide: Get up here.

Capp: I’m not helping his ass up here.

Jose Vargas: [exhales]

Kelly Severide: Now sit your ass down, Vargas. You earned it.

Jose Vargas: [panting]

Kelly Severide: Welcome to the squad.

Jose Vargas: [sighs] Before breakfast?

Kelly Severide: After shift.

                                              [cans clinking]

Kelly Severide: Have a seat.

Jose Vargas: [groans & panting]

Hadley: Did you ever call Anna back?

Kelly Severide: Nah.

Hadley: Oh, now I remember.

              Anna. Yeah, she was a pharmaceutical rep or something 

              like that. 

Kelly Severide: Was she? I don’t…We never talked.

                                               cutscene

                                          [train passing]

Anna: I know I shouldn’t have called the firehouse.

           Here.

Kelly Severide: Thank you.

Anna: Be careful with these. Take them only when necessary.

Kelly Severide: I will.

Anna: I’m in town two more days.

Kelly Severide: Cool. I’ll let you know.

                                          [train passing]

                                         [car door shut] 

                                          [engine roars]

                                             cutscene

                                    [cell phone vibrating]

                                        [car door shuts]

Chief Boden: What?

                       Give it to me.

                       I’m only gonna tell you one more time, Casey. 

                       Give it to me.

                       Go on and get out of here.

                       Go home.

                                            [engine starts]

                                                 - end -

Definitions:

¼ inch hex = Also known as an Allen key, is a small handheld tool that’s used for driving bolts and screws with a hexagonal socket.

4x4s = Emergency first aid 4x4 gauze pads

BP by palp = This means that the systolic (maximum pressure your heart exerts while beating) blood pressure was measured by palpitation rather than auscultation (listening to sounds typically with a stethoscope). You find the radial pulse, inflate the cuff well past the point where the pulse disappears and let air out until the pulse returns.

Type and cross = Blood typing is the process of determining the blood type and rH factor (Rhesus factor is a type of protein found on the outside of red blood cells. This protein is genetically inherited. If you have the protein, you are Rh-positive; if not, you are Rh-negative) of a sample of blood. Cross-matching involves finding the best donor for a patient prior to blood transfusion.

Toradol = Is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug. It works by reducing hormones that cause inflammation and pain in the body. Toradol is used short-term (5 days or less) to treat moderate to severe pain.

A.S.A.’s office = Assistant State Attorney

Metal lathe = Originally designed to machine metals; however with the advent of plastics and other materials, and with their inherent versatility, they are used in wide range of applications, and a broad range of materials. Lathes remove material from a rotating work piece via the movements of various cutting tools such as tool bits and drill bits.

Altered mental status = is a broad category that applies to geriatric (refers to medical care for older adults, usually > 65 although most people do not need geriatrics expertise in their case until age, 70, 75, 80) patients who have a change in cognitive level of consciousness (LOC is a measurement of a person’s arousability and responsiveness to stimuli from the environment)

[rewatching-supernatural]

s01e05

Bloody Mary! truly a classic

took a five minutes break after episode four to get myself some hot cocoa, now I'n ready to be scared

*****

Already, bad start

are we about to see teenage girls get murdered?

ah no, it'll be the dad, Mr Shoemaker???? (what a name!)

holy shit that's a lot of blood! 😬

the trauma of finding your dad emptied of his blood on the bathroom floor, omg 😭

*****

Sammy's still having nightmares, poor boy

Toledo! I feel like I know this place for some reason

Dean lying like hell to see a corpse, and then being denied, and "I'm gonna hit him in his face I swear..."

*****

His eyes LIQUIFIED??? whyyyyyy ugh

anyone who knows me knows I can deal with all the gore, disgusting, blood, intestines stuff

but eyes? eyes I can't, it's like, I physically react even just to the thought of it

*****

These two buffoons showing up at the funerals??? dressed like that???

wow the older sister's acting is downright bad 😬 but the teenager is decent

*****

Dean you little shit, turning the mirror towards Sam

"We had to go to the bathroom" that is just calling for someone to think you were gonna fuck

*****

Research Genius Sam™ is back guys

*****

oh yes, because of course girls talk like that on the phone, being all cutesy and walking around, that is TOTALLY believable 😒

*****

damn that shot of Bloody Mary on the 2005 TV, what a throwback to a life when that was normal

*****

ooh I got shivers, what an amazing shot of the reflection not following the girl in the mirror, props to whoever is responsible for that (unless it's Kripke, fuck Kripke)

*****

Sam filming everything and magically knowing there's a handprint on the BACK of the mirror?? and taking the paper away? I am confused

finding names oh okay

Linda Shoemaker

*****

more bad acting from Girl#1? what's her name? no clue

*****

secrets about people dying, uh?

researching, interrogating, questioning

Retired detective tells us a lot, and now we're looking for a mirror

*****

oh, a non-believer of cours-- CHARLIE oh I know Girl#1's name now! She's seeing Bloody Mary in all the mirrors, this is brilliant

even the teacher's glasses, wow, what a good decision on someone's part

*****

Soft Voice Sam™ gave me asmr shivers,

*****

Charlie you are a badass, you don't let no man fucking manipulate you and that emotional bullshit, this man killing himself is NOT YOUR FAULT

and Dean agrees with me! hell yeah, didn't know if the show would acknowledge it but it does, I'm glad

and then he stops on the side of the road to talk about Jess, and force Sam to realize that it's not his fault

"I don't blame you."

"Well, you shouldn't blame yourself!"

*****

Dean!! how dare you leave your baby brother to die like that!!! Go back inside!! omg

Sam's psychological torture, and the reflection in the mirror being how we learn about Sam's secret, this is so damn brilliant though?

Sam doesn't tell us, this demonic ghost do-- HOLY SHIT SHE CAME OUT OF THE MIRROR

Omg I didn't remember that

fuck that scared me

fuck

argh

*****

"This gotta be like, what, 600 years of bad luck?"

*****

You're my brother and I'd die for you but I can't te you I dreamt of my girlfriend dying before she died 🤷🏽‍♀️

*****

and we're done!

[alloutofgoddesses]

Prodigal Son S01E05

Episode 5

- I also get angry when I can’t sleep

- Someone give him straight answers about that poor girl

- Oh my god

- Oh no hallucinations are never a good thing in TV shows

- Why does Malcolm’s exhausted look better than my normal

- I want to like Jessica but I absolutely do not trust her

- Malcolm doesn’t deserve all this judging. I’m watching this show because murder stuff keeps me calm

- Ah religion.

- Malcolm calming breaths please

- Oof

- Now Dani is the trouble maker

- If she hates him so much, why keep his last name?

- Who is this lawyer lady

- And there’s my answer, thank you Jessica

- Thank you Bright for being well... Bright

- “That’s a bad guy window”

- Probably no longer undercover Estime

- I love Malcolm

- OH NO MALCOLM INHALED DRUGS

- Yet another never good thing

- Now Malcolm looks terrible

- Don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh

- High Malcolm is *chefs kiss*

- No Malcolm

- PFFFFFFFFFFT

- FRIENDS 👫

- AWWWWWW he’s so precious

- And that’s what I was afraid of. Creepy ass hallucinations.

- This is exactly why I said it’s never good lads

- Uh oh

- Thank you Malcolms subconscious for being a DICK

- Damn Dani

- That was your fault Dani. He has a couch.

- Malcom looks so much better after only five hours and I don’t understand

- You know when Dani’s accent slips through… yeah

- Hmmmm. Can we trust Eve? My answer is always no when we meet a new person

- We Stan two people bad at building relationships with other people building a relationship with each other (still not sure if I want them to be a BROTP or OTP but either would be nice)

- Did you guys know I ABSOLUTELY LOVE plot twists and this show constantly delivers

- BOO AD BREAK

- Is the blood a rouse? Please tell me it is

- YAY

- THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!! I love bonding So Fucking Much

- Also we have yet to check up on Ainsley and I’m nervous

- *le gasp* a box!

- A box with sweet things inside. Well mostly

- OH NO THE STATION WAGON

[guiltypuknowme]

Writin’ Dirty April — Day 14: Help

(The little exchange here where Peter addresses FRIDAY is lifted from S01E05 of Archer.) (Also, smut and crack behind the cut.)

The circumstances leading to them having the facility to themselves are rather irrelevant to Peter. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that. Because he and Thor haven’t had a minute alone the whole time they’ve been here, and Peter’s been burning up, because this is definitely the longest they’ve gone without tearing each other’s clothes off since they started this whole thing.

So when Pepper calls Tony and urges him to join her and help sort out whatever Stark Industries crisis it was she was dealing with, and Tony apologizes profusely to his guests about running out on them, neither Peter nor Thor makes a great fuss about it. Rather, they only do their best not to push him out the door.

“Anything you need, just ask FRIDAY,” Tony’s telling them as Happy badgers him about how his plane is leaving shortly. “She’ll take care of you. Rogers and Barnes will be here in the morning, and I should be back by tomorrow night—Happy, relax, it’s my plane, it’s not leaving without me.”

Happy looks about ready to burst a blood vessel, and mutters under his breath about how Pepper will blame him if Tony’s late.

“Yeah-yeah-yeah,” Peter assures him. “Just go, we’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.”

They make excellent use of the rest of the day, and the rest of the night, barely leaving the bedroom at all to the point that Peter is genuinely concerned he’ll be depleted of fluids entirely.

And it’s a great time, really, it is. It’s not as if Peter gets bored of sucking dick, or having his dick sucked. But he’s furious with himself for not packing any lube. He really didn’t think they’d have that kind of time during this trip (and really, they wouldn’t have if Tony hadn’t been called away). He figured they would have been lucky to sneak in a shower together, to get a chance to jerk each other off. And god damn it, he’d almost grabbed it anyway. He’d almost grabbed the lube from off his dresser before they left anyway, but he didn’t. God damn it.

And when he wakes up the next morning, cock hard and pressed against Thor’s ass, Thor waking up and whining softly and pressing back against him, he finds it rather difficult not to tease a finger between his cheeks.

And then, when Thor hums at the touch and says, voice thick with sleep, “Lick me,” well, Peter can’t deny him that. And after fifteen glorious minutes of eating Thor out and hearing him whine, hearing him moan, shameless and loud enough to fill up the whole empty corridor, he starts begging, “Fuck me, fuck me,” and Peter resolves to find a way. Thor kisses him and grabs at him and rubs against him even as he’s begging him to go, go, find something, please, Peter.

Peter gets up, hard as a fucking rock in his briefs, wandering through the halls and ducking in and out of bedrooms and bathrooms and rifling rudely through cabinets. He’s nearly at the end of his pitiful rope when he remembers what Tony said. If you need anything…

“FRIDAY?” Peter hollers, trying to sound polite, not quite sure why.

“Yes, Mr. Quill?” the friendly, Irish, disembodied voice answers.

“We got any lube?” he calls out, palming himself through his underwear, walking toward the kitchen. “Like, at this point even olive oil would—”

His heart stops as he hears someone clear their throat, turning to see Rogers and Barnes standing there. Rogers is holding a duffel bag and his eyebrows are raised in amused surprise. Barnes is chuckling with a metal hand over his eyes.

“...help me get that… drawer unstuck,” Peter tries ridiculously to recover. “Hey, uh,” he stammers, blushing, both hands rushing down to cover his obvious boner, “hey, guys.”

Barnes drops his hand and shakes his head. Steve looks like he’s trying very hard not to laugh as he awkwardly asks, “Tony here?”

“He had to deal with some business,” Peter mumbles. “He’s supposed to be back later.” He feels like he should absolutely excuse himself. Right?

“Thor?” Steve asks then, no doubt having been promised a nice weekend with his old friends.

“He’s, uh,” Peter starts to answer, feels himself going red. “He’s still in bed.”

“Sounds like you were busy,” Barnes says, offering Peter an out, staring not-at-all-discreetly at where he’s covering his cock.

“Yeah,” Peter responds stupidly. “I—”

“Oh my god,” Rogers mutters, digging into his bag, “go.” Then he pulls out a bottle and tosses it to Peter.

Instinctively, Peter reaches up to catch it with both hands, embarrassment giving way to staggering relief. “Hey, thanks!” he chirps, as Barnes starts really laughing. “Oh!” Peter says, remembering, rushing to cover himself again.

“No problem,” Rogers says, rubbing a hand behind his neck. “We’ll, uh, make ourselves at home.”

Peter nods, smiles, rushes back to the bedroom with Rogers and Barnes cackling behind him.

Thor’s writhing on the sheets, hard and wanton. “Took long enough,” he says when Peter walks in. “Did you find something?”

Peter thinks for a second before answering, then jumps onto the bed. “Yep,” he says, “c’mere,” and he slides down to eat Thor’s ass a little more.

The details, he thinks, can wait.