#sad

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[grickle14]

Memories.

[icycoldninja]

Angsty Astarion headcannons

A/N: Ok, so way back in December of '23, I went through a short Astarion phase because I never went through a Twilight phase as a teen, and during the heat of said phase, I wrote this, and since I'm quite proud of how it turned out, I've decided to post it--but this is a one time only thing, it doesn't mean I write for Astarion or any BG3 characters, at least, not anymore.

Tw: Dark, dark, angsty themes that might make ya cry, proceed with caution.

-Severely claustrophobic and nyctophobic as a result of the underground confinement Cazador had sentenced him to.

-Refuses to go into tiny spaces; his bedroll must be spread out wide like a mat, and his tent must be roomy and airy.

-Sleeps/Meditates/whatever with candles lit. (with a nightlight in a modern AU)

-If the power goes out/wind blows his candles out and he can't light new ones for whatever reason, he will panic. Unless he can go outside and relish in the light of the fire or celestial bodies, or unless you have a flashlight, he will curl up into a little ball and cry softly until either the situation blows over or if you come to help him.

-Despite how much he loves you, there is a tiny part of him that is still afraid you will use him for his body and leave him to die, used up and dry.

-Trust is hard to build with him because of all that's happened, but stay persistent and he'll let his walls down.

-Has night terrors almost every night but is too scared to go to you (or anyone) for help for fear of being found and kidnapped by Cazador somehow--the only exception being very terrifying nightmares that have him screaming.

-Touch starved beyond comprehension.

-Desperately needs someone to hold him at night, or just to hold him in general. It doesn't matter how long, if someone would just give him a hug, it'd make his day.

-Sometimes he worries that you'll leave him because of his heavy emotional baggage.

-Gets crazy jealous and will turn into a bat to spy on you if he suspects anything.

-As time progresses, his negativity and jealousy starts to build up and soon expresses itself through violence. If you two don't do something about it, he could end up hurting you.

-He'd never kill you, but rage clouds the mind. Astarion could hurt you pretty badly, especially with that knife of his, and if he ever did so for whatever reason, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

-Puts on a brave, flirty, sassy face in public, but cries a lot in private. Like a lot.

-Does his best to cry as quietly as he can; an old habit from his time with Cazador. He bites a pillow or clamps his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise, careful to breathe through his nose and limit the noises he makes.

-All he really wants is someone to snuggle his fears away and just be there for him, however possible.

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

I tried to heal everyone’s heartache but my own.

k.b. // gatton - other’s melodies

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

I wish I could feel okay with my body. Even just a little bit.

It really feels like a prison...

[smolmoss]

giggling/laughing emote ! and also sad self hug emote !!

[spicyclover]

You betrayed me

Summary : I played dumb but I always knew. I kept quiet so I could keep you. You betrayed me, and I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.

Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.

Thank you! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

He’s sticking a knife in my heart. I can't breathe. It is fucking insane. Eight months of this bullshit. Eight months, and I was fucking blind. I should have known it was all a lie. All the little touches, all the little words of love, all the caresses. Fuck I’m stupid. Eight months in a relationship with this asshole. I played dumb but I always knew.

"I'm sorry," sobs Lando through my bedroom door. "It's fuck up." His hand tries for the hundred time to open the door without success. "Let's talk baby, you're overreacting."

"You fucking lie to me, you make me believe thing and I'm overreacting?" I explode in anger. How dare he put it on my fault? "I'm a dare. You realize it is fuck up!"

"I know." I push him out of my way and head for the kitchen. "Let me explain..."

"Explain?" I turn around and my eyes meet his. At that moment, I feel only pity for this asshole. Pity, because he's only a shameless dog. "Do. Enlighten me, Lando."

Lando’s eyes fall to the ground. He no longer dares to look at me and his tears flow. I can’t believe it. He stabs me in the back, and he's the one crying. The last few months come to mind. Our first meet, his eagerness to go out together. This mania to leave me on read until he deigns to give me his attention again. Him refusing to meet my parents or him refusing that I come to his house. The many parties we spent apart because he didn’t want his friends to know we were together. What a hell-hole shit, that scumbag.

"You were a dare. Yes, and I am sorry. I feel terrible because the more time I spent with you and the more I realize you are amazing."

"Not amazing enough for you to settle for me though." You whisper with bitterness between your teeth. His hands tries to cope my face but I slam them down. "DON'T fucking touch me."

He raises his hand in defeat and continues. "I can't settle, not right now. I can't." More tears fall from his cheeks.

"Why are you crying Norris?" I ask, gritting my teeth. "YOU DON'T GET TO FUCKING CRY." This time I yell. I can't take this anymore. I need to walk. I’m starting to walk around the kitchen. I’m thinking about this situation, a why. I know I’m never gonna have the real reason why he hurt me. I turn and turn like a lion in its cage. The pain rises and the anger boils. I want to slap him, to shout the worst, yet I am unable to form coherent sentences in my mouth. "You're sick. You disgust me."

"I'm sorry..."

"STOP! FUCKING SAY I'M SORRY. YOU'RE NOT." As I leave my body, I see the plate on the counter end up in my hand and the next second explode against the wall behind this traitor. "You betrayed me, Lando. And I know damn well that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt."

Lando raises his face that he hid at the impact of the plate next to him and he turns to me bewildered. Yet he seems to be cut off. His reaction doesn’t come. He’s just looking me. I must look crazy. I’m wearing one of his oversize t-shirt, we’re in the middle of the night, and my hair is pissed. My eyes are swollen and I’m breathing loudly. I want him out of my sight, out of my life.

"Get out." I said without emotion in my voice. He doesn't move. His stare is still on me and I can't. I'm going to be sick. "GET OUT!" He jumps and looks around. He finally reacts. He takes a few steps towards the door.

"All this" He pauses, searching his words. "It wasn't meant to hurt you..."

[a-reason-for-this]

Hi.

Your least favourite emo will have some new songs out very soon. Until then, here's a terrible photo of yours truly.

=>

[voidic3ntity]

I'm so utterly & so completely obsessed with you, my lighthouse,

always searching, yet never finding, to seek is to remain hopeful:

beneath the fragments, the chalice of trust dwells much deeper,

& the loyalty I have for you is something so pathetically single;

am I good enough for you to stick by through the rainstorms?

[valkyrieeeee]

Broken Promises

ᑉ³pairing; Fiancé! Bangchan x Reader

ᑉ³genre; Angst

ᑉ³warnings; Arguments, Alcohol, cursing

ᑉ³Authors Note; Surprise.. another angst (said no one ever)!

Sitting alone at the small table in the quaint bakery, surrounded by an array of beautifully decorated cakes, you can't shake the growing sense of unease gnawing at your stomach. Chan was supposed to meet you here for the cake tasting for your wedding, but as the minutes tick by, there's still no sign of him.

Glancing down at your phone for what feels like the hundredth time, you force a smile as you reply to the concerned messages from the bakery staff, assuring them that Chan will be arriving shortly. But with each passing moment, your assurances feel emptier and emptier.

The bakery owner, a middle-aged woman with warm, motherly eyes and flour-dusted apron, approaches you with gentle steps, her expression a mixture of concern and empathy. As she reaches your table, she offers a sympathetic smile, lines of experience etched into the corners of her eyes, revealing a lifetime of witnessing both joy and sorrow.

"Is everything okay, dear?" she asks in a soft, soothing voice, her tone carrying the weight of genuine care. "Your fiancé seems to be running a bit late."

You nod, plastering on a smile that feels more like a grimace. "Oh, he's just caught up with something. He'll be here soon, I'm sure of it."

But even as the words leave your lips, doubt gnaws at the edges of your mind. Where is Chan? Why hasn't he shown up for something as important as choosing your wedding cake?

As the minutes turn into hours, the atmosphere in the bakery grows increasingly awkward. The staff exchange concerned glances, and you can feel the weight of their pitying stares bearing down on you.

Finally, unable to bear the charade any longer, you excuse yourself from the table and step outside for some fresh air. Leaning against the cool brick wall of the bakery, you let out a frustrated sigh, feeling the sting of tears threatening to spill over.

You had envisioned this day as a happy occasion, a chance to celebrate your love and plan for your future together. But now, it feels like just another reminder of Chan's inability to prioritize your relationship.

Feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment, you pull out your phone and start typing a message to Chan.

Still, there's no response from Chan. You try calling him, but it goes straight to voicemail. Panic starts to set in as you realize that he's not picking up.

Tears blur your vision as you hit send, the weight of Chan's absence bearing down on you like a ton of bricks. You're left feeling hurt and confused, wondering how and why he could have missed something so important to you both.

As you walk briskly away from the bakery, you can't shake the feeling of betrayal that weighs heavy on your heart.

Each step feels like a painful reminder of Chan's absence. Tears threaten to spill over, but you blink them back, refusing to let yourself break down in public.

As you reach your home, you unlock the door with trembling hands and step inside, the familiar surroundings offering a small sense of peace amidst all of your emotions.

Alone in the quiet of your apartment, you finally allow yourself to release the floodgates of pent-up frustration and sorrow. Tears stream down your cheeks as you collapse onto the couch, the weight of the day's events crashing down on you all at once.

You pull out your phone, hoping against hope for a message or a call from Chan, but the screen remains stubbornly blank. With a heavy sigh, you set the device aside, resigning yourself to the painful reality of his absence.

As you sit on the couch, lost in a whirlwind of emotions, the sound of the door unlocking startles you. Your heart leaps with a flicker of hope, but as Chan staggers through the doorway, his movements unsteady and his breath heavy with the scent of alcohol, your hope quickly dissipates into a sinking feeling of disappointment.

"What the hell?" you ask, your voice a mixture of concern and frustration.

Chan's eyes struggle to focus as he blinks blearily at you. He gasps "Babbbyyyyyy" he slurs, a lopsided grin spreading across his face. "Hi beautifuuull."

Anger bubbles up in your chest, hot and fierce, as you struggle to contain the storm raging inside you. "Don't you 'baby' me," you snap, your voice sharp . "Where have you been, Chan? You were supposed to be with me."

But Chan's smile only widens, oblivious to the turmoil in your heart. "I was out celebrating, love," he says, his words slurred and carefree, as if the weight of his absence bears no significance. "With the boys, you know? It was a great night!"

The audacity of his nonchalant demeanor ignites a fire within you, the flames of your anger burning brighter with each passing moment. "Celebrating? While I sat here waiting for you?" you seethe, your voice trembling with rage. "You were supposed to be at the cake tasting with me. Do you have any idea how important that was? Do you even care about me at all?"

Chan's expression falters, a flicker of confusion dancing in his glazed eyes as he struggles to comprehend the depth of your hurt. "Of course I care, babe," he says, his voice tinged with a hint of defensiveness. "I just... lost track of time, that's all."

Your voice cuts through the air like a knife, sharp and unforgiving, as you confront Chan's feeble attempt to brush off his actions. "No, Chan, you forgot," you repeat, your tone laced with the bitter sting of disappointment. "You forgot about me, about us, about everything we've been planning together."

Chan's gaze flickers with a mix of guilt and frustration, his defenses crumbling under the weight of your accusation. "I didn't mean to," he protests weakly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You cut him off with a wave of your hand, unable to bear his excuses any longer. "Save it, Chan. We have an important meeting tomorrow morning with the photographer and videographer. We need to finalize the details for the wedding, and I need you to be sober and present for that."

Chan nods, his expression contrite as he sinks onto the couch beside you. "I'll be there, I promise. I'll make it up to you."

You want to believe him, to trust that he'll follow through on his promise, but doubts linger in the back of your mind.

As Chan sinks onto the couch beside you, his expression contrite, you can feel the tension between you thickening. His drunken attempts at affection, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek, elicit a mixture of conflicting emotions within you.

"Chan, I'm not in the mood for this," you murmur, your voice tinged with frustration.

But Chan persists, his touch lingering as he leans in closer, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. "I love you, Y/N," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. "I'm sorry for messing up, but let me make it up to you."

You want to believe him, to let yourself be swept away by his words and his touch, but the memory of his absence and his neglect hangs heavy in the air between you. You can't bring yourself to let him off the hook so easily, not when this isn't the first time he's let you down.

With a heavy heart, you push him away gently, your resolve firm despite the ache in your chest. "Not tonight, Chan," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need some space."

Chan's expression falls, disappointment flashing in his eyes before he nods, accepting your decision. "Okay," he murmurs, his voice tinged with regret.

You watch as he retreats to the bedroom, disappointed. Unable to face the thought of sharing a bed with him tonight, you grab a pillow and a blanket, retreating to the couch where you curl up and try to push aside the hurt and disappointment that threatens to consume you.

As you close your eyes and try to drift off to sleep, the ache in your heart remains, a painful reminder of the rift that has grown between you and Chan. You know that tomorrow will bring difficult conversations and tough decisions, but for now, all you can do is try to find solace in the solitude of the couch and hope for a better tomorrow.

The next morning, you awaken with a heavy heart, the events of the previous night weighing heavily on your mind. Despite the restless night, you rise early, determined to face the day head-on.

As you make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast, you can't shake the feeling of unease gnawing at the pit of your stomach. Glancing around the empty room, you realize that Chan is nowhere to be found.

A sense of apprehension washes over you as you check your phone, half-hoping to find a message from Chan explaining his absence. But the screen remains stubbornly blank, devoid of any communication from him.

With a sinking feeling in your chest, you push aside your worries and focus on the task at hand. You have an important meeting with the vendor this morning, and you can't afford to be late.

Quickly finishing your breakfast, you gather your things and head out the door, praying that Chan is already on his way. Maybe he's already on the way, you tell yourself, trying to quell the rising tide of anxiety threatening to overwhelm you.

As you arrive at the meeting venue, you scan the area, searching for any sign of Chan. But he's nowhere to be seen, and your heart sinks as the realization dawns on you.

He's done it again.

As you step through the front door, the tension in the air is palpable, thick with unspoken frustrations and simmering resentment. You walk into your bedroom ready to sleep the pain fromt he day away. But your gaze falls upon Chan, seated at his desk, his headphones on as he works on his music, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

Without a word, you storm over to him, your anger bubbling over. "Chan, we need to talk," you say, your voice tight with emotion.

Chan looks up, startled by the intensity of your tone. "What's wrong?" he asks, removing his headphones and turning to face you.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that you keep letting me down, over and over again," you reply, your voice rising with each word. "What's wrong is that you can't seem to prioritize anything other than your damn music! You forgot about the meeting this morning. Again. Do you even care about our wedding?"

Chan's brow furrows in frustration. "Of course I care, but I had a deadline to meet. I couldn't just drop everything."

"That's not good enough, Chan," you shoot back, your hands trembling with anger. "You promised you would be there. You promised you would start taking our wedding seriously."

"I do take it seriously," Chan insists, his own frustration beginning to show. "But I have other responsibilities too. I can't just neglect my work."

"You're neglecting our relationship, Chan," you retort, the words bitter on your tongue. "You keep putting everything else before us, and I'm sick of it."

Chan stands up, his jaw clenched with pent-up frustration. "I'm doing the best I can, okay? I'm trying to juggle everything, but it's not easy."

Well, it's not good enough," you say, your voice trembling with emotion. "I need someone who can be there for me when it matters, someone who won't let me down."

The air crackles with tension as the weight of your words hangs heavy between you. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the silence filled with the echo of unresolved anger and hurt.

Finally, Chan's voice rises in a roar of frustration. "I'm tired of always being the one to blame! Maybe if you weren't so demanding, I wouldn't have to constantly choose between you and my work!"

You reel back, stung by his words, but before you can respond, Chan continues, his anger pouring out in a torrent of emotion. "You have no idea what it takes to make it in this industry. This is my dream, Y/N. I can't just drop it because you want me to."

Your blood boils at his dismissive tone. "Dream? This isn't just about your dream, Chan. This is about us, about our future together. And you keep throwing it away for some stupid song."

His eyes flash with anger. "Don't you dare belittle my passion like that. You think planning a wedding is more important than my music?"

"Yes, I do!" you shout, your voice echoing off the walls. "Because this wedding is supposed to be about us, about our commitment to each other. But all you care about is yourself."

Chan's nostrils flare, his fists clenched at his sides. "I'm selfish? Look in the mirror, Y/N. All you do is demand, demand, demand. You never think about what I need." He says slaming his headset down. "I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough for you! Maybe you should find someone else who can live up to your impossible standards!"

The words hit you like a slap in the face, the sting of his accusation cutting deep. "I'm demanding? I'm demanding because I expect you to show up for the most important day of our lives? Because I expect you to be there for me when I need you?" You take a deep breath. "Maybe... maybe you're right," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe we shouldn't be getting married."

Chan's eyes widen in shock, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly as he struggles to process your words. "Y/N, wait—"

But before he can say anything else, you reach for the engagement ring on your finger, the metal cold against your skin. With a swift motion, you rip it off and fling it at him, the ring soaring through the air before landing with a dull thud at his feet.

Chan's face pales, his eyes wide with disbelief as he watches you turn and storm out of the room, your footsteps echoing off the walls like a thunderous drumbeat.

As you step outside into the cool night air, tears stream down your cheeks, mingling with the bitter taste of regret and heartache. With each step you take away from the house, the weight of your decision presses down on you like a heavy burden, but you know deep down that it's the right choice.

With a heavy heart, you make your way to your parents' house, seeking comfort in the familiar embrace of family. And as you collapse into their arms, the tears come in quickly, a torrent of emotion unleashed in the wake of your shattered dreams.

·˚ᑉ³ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Thank you for your support | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like. © Valkyrieeeee 2024

[pocketgalaxies]

"i think i have to go soon."

"well, wherever you go, we'll follow."

[malaintentions]

Each time I post, it’s always me complaining but I don’t care. I honestly hate being a surgical tech, the OR life isn’t for me. I feel so lost and unmotivated. I’m so close to finishing school and to get certified but deep down this isn’t what I want at all. I was hoping that I would fail my previous term lol, it’s okay

[gentleaddictions]

[pisysia]

Stone!! (Ramshackle)

[the-suicide-effect]