support · 9 years
Everything okay?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.
If you are in the United States, please try:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.
For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.
440K notes · View notes
Tumblr media
You're *pursued* by a hunter. Smelling of apricots and sorrow. And the past.
245 notes · View notes
geopsych · 10 hours
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Lost a beautiful and graceful old walnut tree in the neighborhood today. Had to listen to it being sawed and ground up. I’ll miss it but the squirrels and birds will miss it more. 🌳😢
136 notes · View notes
no one will notice or miss me once i’m gone
146 notes · View notes
Reason to Live #8835
 Warm blankets, a nice book and hot cocoa. – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
85 notes · View notes
caos-literario · 3 days
Siempre termino triste porque no dura nada sentirse feliz.
Lin H
58 notes · View notes
witchtaunter · 5 hours
Tumblr media
Vitamin W deficiency
62 notes · View notes
creeperchild · 8 hours
Tumblr media
I am sorry to inform but the ask blog is gonna be a bit slower. I have broken up a near 1 year relationship. I am so done right now. So here is a bit vent art-
59 notes · View notes
miyavmiyimneyim · 2 days
Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes
dk-thrive · 2 days
When we stop resisting sadness—trying to sweeten it with phone calls, distractions, or pleasures—and just let ourselves feel it in all its heaviness, darkness, and pain, it disappears by itself, and even transforms into delight.
David Edwards, Meditation in an Age of Cataclysms (Tricycle, March 23, 2023) (via Alive on All Channels)
28 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
House of the Dragon Targaryenreader insert
Triggers for this chapter: uncomfortable Y/N, death, funeral, gore, violence, profanity, reader personality progression.
*** This is a darker chapter than the prologue, please bear that in mind.
Chapter 1- Rocks and Shards
Tumblr media
The King had received word that his brother's wife had passed. Viserys sighed, feeling slight unease at the words on the parchment.
"What troubles you, my King?" His wife asked, ever so interested in what had caused her husband's discomfort.
"I'm afraid, Lady Laena Velaryon has perished. There is to be a funeral in Driftmark. We must set sail at once. I wish to provide comfort to my brother in his time of loss." Viserys stood with a small grunt, ignoring his wife who had eagerly held her hand to him, in an effort to assist him.
Alicent looked towards the floor, feeling contempt. Before hearing Viserys cough again, her eye twitched ever so slightly at her own husband's dismissiveness towards her before standing and readying herself for the trip to Driftmark.
"Do you wish to ride Sunfyre?" Y/N turned to see her eldest sibling standing before her.
The girl of nine years quirked an eyebrow again. "Is that not a question that you should be asking our brother, Aemond?" She quipped to which Aegon snorted.
"I won't have that dragonless little twat on my dragon," he almost spat. "You however, dear sister," Aegon paused as he smirked down at her. "Need not ask." At this Y/N's eyebrows were risen higher than ever before, being only nine years of age.
"No thank you." She spoke slowly as she proceeded to walk away from him, rather hurriedly towards her dragon- Veranys. A majestic beast but more menacing in appearance than the other dragons, (with only the exclusion of Vhagar). The scales on his back were dark purple, so dark one would mistake it as black, making him more menacing than he should be for being young Y/N's dragon.
"I only jest, dear sister." Aegon chuckled as he followed behind her with a lazy pace. Y/N pat her dragon's face, a sign of affection. Veranys let out a huff and soon after a low grumble as his piercing green eyes focused behind his rider and instead on the perceived threat.
With no priors warning the dragon stood tall and opened his mouth, screeching, demanding that the delinquent to move no closer.
"Ssh. Gīda, (calm) Veranys." Y/N spoke softly as she stroked the chest of her dragon, attempting to calm his moods.
"If you wish to ride a truly majestic creature, one of beauty then my offer still stands." Aegon's humour and easy-going attitude had faltered to reveal his nerves at the sight of Y/N's dragon,it had not been the first time he had almost been made a snack of.
Once Aegon took his leave, Y/N murmured "Kirimvose (thank you)" quietly to her dragon. With Aegon being a boy of one and three, he was even more of a menace than ever before.
Veranys bowed his head to his rider, seeking more physical affection before she clambered onto the rather large dragon.
"I hope my dragon looks as menacing as Veranys." A voice spoke up gaining Y/N's attention.
"There's no need to hope, dear brother. I know it will be. A truly savage beast" Y/N smiled softly making Aemond's lips quirk upwards.
"But for now, you could settle on riding with me and Veranys?" Y/N offered with a tilt of her head, trying to coax him into taking her up on her offer.
The young silver haired boy gave an eager nod of his head in return, his excitement getting the better of him. He approached as Veranys watched him, grumbling at the boy but refusing to act on his impulses.
The boy climbed onto the rather large creature and seated himself behind his sister.
Rhaenyra was the first to take off with her brood, the smaller dragons Arrax and Vermax following closely behind the golden Syrax.
Then came Veranys, Sunfyre and finally Dreamfyre. Each dragon distinct and unique.
Once Veranys landed, Aemond lowered himself to the ground rather clumsily before his sister followed, though her dismount was a little more graceful.
She smiled at her dragon before affectionately tapping his leg. "Emagon, kirimves! (Have fun!)" Veranys gave a guttural roar, which Y/N perceived to be excitement before he took flight over the island of Driftmark.
"Thank you, sister. For allowing me to ride with you." Aemond nodded courteously after his formal spoke show of gratitude. Y/N tilted her head- a proving habit of hers.
"It wasn't so much me allowing you to ride, as it was Veranys trusting you. You're a true dragonrider, at heart." Y/N's expression was gleeful as she grasped her brothers hand in hers.
"Dragons are not mindless creatures, they are wise, majestic creatures. A dragon is not tamed by its rider. The rider is chosen by the dragon." She gave a nod to him to see that he understands. He only nodded in response before giving out a laugh. "You sound more like father every day, with his teachings of dragons."
"It is true though. Dragons are only loyal to those deserving of loyalty." Aemond thought on his sister's words before giving another retort.
"Why does Aegon have a dragon?"
At this Y/N rolled her eyes and snorted. "Because Sunfyre was unlucky enough to be born in the cradle with him." She answered as she thought he'd want her to.
From his little snigger, Y/N knew she was right. She sighed not bothering to continue her spiel of dragon talk- or perhaps there is a greatness in Aegon that Sunfyre can sense.
It did not take long for the ships to follow the dragons to Driftmark. Y/N and Aemond made their presences known among the family members gathered on the edge of the island.
Aegon quirked an eyebrow at the two appearing together. "I thought you'd be with father," he paused his eyes narrowing at his youngest brother. "On the ship." Y/N looked between the two detecting animosity, the source of which remained a mystery.
"Our sister allowed me to ride with her on Veranys." Aemond replied, his mouth once again morphing into a smile.
"Sister, do be a dear and share your condolences with our cousins." From the tone of his voice, Y/N knew it was not a request but a demand and she knew better than to outright challenge Aegon in front of the others, he would only take it out on Aemond.
She was reluctant to leave Aemond, her mouth opening to suggest he accompany her.
"Now!" Aegon's voice bellowed, startling the servants around them. He paid them no attention, his focus only ever on Aemond.
Y/N hastily made her way away from them both, and quickly found solace in her sister. Her weird sister, as Aegon would say.
As she did not know her cousins, she settled for the company of her sister.
"Helaena, what has caught your attention this time?" She asked her older sister, who briefly hummed in response, her hands holding a spider within them. Y/N took a small step back, not too well acquainted with such creatures. She was a girl more interested in flowers.
"Beautiful, isn't he." Helaena sighed in content. "Not only has he eight legs, but eight eyes. I counted them myself." Y/N only sighed sitting beside her sister.
"What troubles you, sister?" Helaena asks finally turning to her. Before Y/N could respond, Helaena turned away. "Silver becomes red, fire on steel...steel on skin."
Y/N felt her stomach drop at Helaena's words. However, before she could ask what she meant, Helaena began chanting a different phrase "Hand turns loom; spool of green, spool of black; dragons of flesh weaving dragons of thread...hand turns loom-" Y/N couldn't muster up a smile as she normally would to her sister, instead she wordlessly stood and wandered away.
Aemond watched as his sister wandered away. His eyes took notice of the fact that she was clutching her elbow with her hand, a sign that she was uncomfortable or at the least uneasy.
"We have nothing in common," Aegon spoke as he watched Helaena crouched over, spider still within her grasp.
Aemond's attention moved from his younger sister to his elder sister.
"She's our sister." Aemond retorted softly as though that were an argument for the heinous decision their mother had made.
"You marry her, then." Aegon turned to Aemond, the contempt never leaving his face.
"I would perform my duty," Aemond paused before looking to where his younger sister stood alone and looking out into the waters "if mother had only betrothed us."
Aegon gave a snort at his statement. "If only," before sipping from his goblet.
His eyes never leaving his younger sister's form he continued speaking, "it would strengthen the family. Keep our Valyrian blood pure."
"She's an idiot." Aegon relented gesturing towards Helaena.
"She's your future queen." Aemond retorted finally letting his eyes leave Y/N's form to look at his tiresome excuse of a brother.
"We actually do have something in common," Aegon spoke as his eyes traced the figure of the servant in front of him.
As soon as she had walked away, he turned to his younger brother with a large grin on his face, "We both fancy creatures with very long legs." Aemond ignored his brother's statement, muttering his name under his breath as he chased another servant.
The younger Prince walked towards his sister whose eyes were focused on the sea ahead of her.
Without turning her head to him, she spoke softly. "I wonder what lays in these waters," her hand had gripped her elbow tighter. Nerves.
"Perhaps creatures alike to dragons, only they spit water rather than fire and swim with the speed that Caraxes can fly with." Aemond's ears perked up at the name of the dragon, out of all dragons he had seen, Caraxes was his favourite simply because he belonged to his fabled uncle Daemon- a true warrior and protector of the realm.
"I'm sure many things lay in the sea, most of which will never be learned of in our lifetime. Our interests are that of the skies and the creatures that inhabit those." His words offered her little comfort and received no response.
It was only a few minutes later that she decided to ask, "What did you and Aegon speak of when I left?"
Aemond had almost forgotten their rather unimportant conversation.
"He only asked for me to accept that I am a dragonless twat and that I do not involve you in my futile efforts to experience the true bliss of being a dragonrider." Y/N's brows furrowed in disgust.
"He really said that?" Now it was Aemond's turn to remain silent, his sister was no fool.
"I wish I could say I was disappointed," her gentle voice spoke. "Some are blind to their own ego and flaws. Especially Aegon."
"He also spoke of mother betrothing him to Helaena, which he expressed distaste toward."
At that, Y/N couldn't argue back. "It is strange, mother isn't a Targaryen and father married her." Aemond only hummed in agreement, sparing Y/N his 'strengthening the family' speech.
"Father wishes to marry me to Jaecerys." The little girl remarked in a rather dull manner- the past few days Y/N had become quieter, no longer smiling or enthusing about flowers and their meanings.
Aemond turned his head towards Y/N, his lips parted in disbelief, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "They can't make you marry a bastard, especially not him." Aemond sneered. For a moment, Y/N would have mistaken him for Aegon.
"It's not so much him being a...bastard that troubles me." Y/N spoke the word with hesitance, the first and only time she would speak it with such dignity.
"He is unkind, like Aegon." Aemond knew where this was going and his pride got the better of him. "I don't need you treating me like one of your little flowers, thinking me to be delicate. They tease me but only because I lack a dragon so do not pity me, sister. I will have my dragon one day."
Y/N stood, her lilac eyes widened from Aemond's outburst. She breathed out a long breath but immediately tensed upon feeling a hand on her shoulder.
"What trouble have you been causing now?" Came the voice of a man she despised. "Grandsire," his hand squeezed her shoulder harshly. "You will refer to me as the King's Hand, Princess."
She only nodded, feeling her shoulder tense up even more as he leaned down and through gritted teeth spoke into her ear. "Keep your senseless mutterings away from your brothers, Aegon does not need another distraction to his duties, and Aemond does not need the emotions of a girl influencing his behaviour. Maintain distance from them both, and nothing more shall come of this."
Y/N merely nodded, refusing to cry in front of the man, knowing it would only serve to fuel his anger.
His hand still clutched her shoulder, he harshly turned her around and guided her to the rest of the gathering. As soon as she was within reach of the others, she shrugged Ottos' hand from her shoulder and ran to her father, who, through either ignorance or obliviousness, did not mention his daughters' frightened expression.
"Ah, my darling daughter. Come," beside her father stood a rather tall man, the silver hair and mischievous glint in his eye informed her of his name already. "Uncle Daemon," She greeted, giving him a curt nod. Daemon's eye squinted at the young girl curiously. "You must be my youngest niece, Aemma."
As though he were standing right beside her, Alicent turned her head glowering at Daemon. Viserys had his hand over his mouth, coughing. Whether it was genuine, or to mask the fact that he was informing his brother of his daughter's birth name would remain a mystery.
Y/N, disappointed by her interaction with the Rogue Prince merely dismissed him before he continued to speak. "Sorry for your loss," before she walked away from both men, hoping to find solace.
"Princess Y/N," a voice called out to her. It was her eldest nephew. They had rarely interacted with one another - their mothers, being the leading cause of their lack of relationship. That and Jaecerys was cruel towards Aemond.
"I was hoping to speak with you, my mother has spoken of a betrothal." Jaecerys smiled gently at her.
They were both nine years and far more mature than they should have been.
"As did my mother," Y/N responded warily but still offered a polite smile.
"Once we return to King's Landing, I would wish to get to become acquainted with you. I fear that spending too much time with your brothers has not given us a chance to meet." He smiled sheepishly. Y/N smiled in response, her guard disappearing.
Aemond had said he was a terror of a boy as was his brother- only ever showing joy when tormenting her poor brother all because he would best them in their sword fights.
"I think I'd enjoy that, my Prince." Y/N gazed into his dark eyes, eyes that should've resembled her own, causing his cheeks to flush pink.
It was night when Y/N had heard the commotion. "Vhagar is missing!" Came the voice of Baela from down the hall. Y/N pulled the furs which had covered her body and stood, dressed in a white night dress. She quickly stepped into her boots before dressing herself in her coat.
She opened her door and followed the four other children, her curiosity piqued. She had followed them for mere minutes before the children walked through one last door upon hearing approaching footsteps.
"It's him." Rhaena snapped with discontent as she moved towards the silver haired boy, Aemond.
Y/N stood quietly behind the four children, making sure to keep from Aemond's line of sight.
"It's me." Aemond announces rather nonchalant, carrying his cape over his arm.
"Vhagar is my mother's dragon," Rhaena stated matter-of-factly, her annoyance laced throughout her tone.
"Your mother's dead, and Vhagar has a new rider now." His first words had caused a frown to settle on Y/N's face despite this, she still wanted to leap from where she was currently hiding and embrace Aemond for his accomplishment but Rhaena's next words caused her to halt.
"She was mine to claim." Rhaena spat as the two boys and her twin only watched the interaction unsure of what to do.
"Then you should have claimed her." He retorted, unimpressed by her words. "Maybe your cousins could find you a pig to ride, it would suit you." Y/N almost couldn't believe how Aemond was reacting, he of all people should have understood what it must feel like for, Rhaena.
Before anyone could move, Rhaena walked towards Aemond and pushed him, a grunt leaving her mouth as she did so. Aemond merely shoved her to the ground, only for Baela to step in and punch him resulting in him falling to the ground.
"Aemond!" Y/N cried out his name in concern as she made her presence known.
Before she could even approach him, Baela turned around, and whether it was from adrenaline, confusion, or she meant to- she slapped Y/N. The slap did not force Y/N to the ground. Instead, she stepped back ever so slightly before balling her own fist and connecting it to Baela's right eye, knocking her to the ground. Aemond stood and kicked her stomach before speaking, "You touch either of us again, and I'll feed you to my dragon!" He spat with more malice than he'd ever shown before. Jaecerys ran towards Aemond in a flurry of rage , while Lucerys grabbed at Y/N.
Y/N did not want to hurt the small boy. "I don't want to fight, Lucerys. Baela attacked me!" Her pleas fell upon deaf ears so, with as little force as she could, she pushed him to the ground moments before Aemond had Jaecerys on the ground. Lucerys got back up screaming, once again and attempted to land a hit on Aemond only to be met with a punch which encouraged Jaecerys to engage with Aemond throwing some rather sloppy punches, some of which landed successfully.
"Please, stop already! Why are you doing this?!" Y/N asked clearly perplexed. Her lip had a minor cut to it, nothing compared to Baela's eye.
As she spoke, she'd caught sight of Baela and Rhaena both standing up. The twins tackled her to the ground, forcing her head to collide with stone. The impact had caused blood to flow steadily from the back of her head. The two girls did not relent, and they kicked at her with all their might. Their actions blinded Y/N with rage as she kicked Rhaena in the ribs before sitting up just enough to land her fist on Baela's right eye again, this time, she did not relent.
Her fist meeting her cousin's eye repeatedly as she gave way to her anger and yelled animalistically until Jaecerys crawled towards Y/N, -Lucerys providing Aemond with a distraction as an easy target- and held her arms behind her back.
Rhaena, with the sharpest edge of a rock she could find, stabbed Y/N in the stomach, slowly twisting it, causing the girl to cry out in pain.
Jaecerys panted loudly in Y/N's ear before dropping her arms in shock. "Rhaena, what are you doing?!" He questioned loudly as the younger girl removed the shard from Y/N's stomach.
This time, it was Baela who had taken a stab at her. The wound landed dangerously close to her chest.
After hearing the harrowing sound of his sister's screams, Aemond had released his hand from Lucerys' throat and called out in horror. "Y/N!" He watched as the second twin had stuck the shard in his sister.
"You will die screaming in flames, just as your father did bastards!" Aemond yelled at Jaecerys and Lucerys picking the latter up and holding a rock above his head.
That small amount of time that Aemond had provided as distraction had given Y/N an opportunity to weakly grasp Baela's hair bringing her face to her knee, the action had sent Baela into a stupour but Rhaena was still to be dealt with.
Rhaena stood above Y/N readying herself to deliver another stab to Y/N when the older girl spat in her face -some of which subsequently landed on her own chest- before headbutting her so harshly that it had hurt her probably just as much as Rhaena. The difference was that Y/N could tolerate the pain courtesy of her mother and Otto. Despite the pain and exhaustion she persevered as her mother often told her to.
"He doesn't know, does he?" Aemond asked rhetorically before continuing "Lord Strong."
With laboured breaths and multiple wounds, Y/N crawled away from the scene, her hair matted to her face and dyed red from her head wound.
Lucerys had cried out that his father was still alive but Aemond only gave a dark chuckle, lowering his hand with the rock. His brief victory allowing him to forget about his sister who lay, in a pool of blood near the door. Her breathing laboured.
Jaecerys removes a dagger from its sheath and moves to stab at Aemond.
"Jae!" Rhaena yells at him, as though it had only just gone too far.
Y/N seethed at the notion. She refused to let them see her die, they wouldn't have the satisfaction. So with force, and on legs like jelly she stood to her full height.
"Cunts!" She spat towards the two girls. It was not a word she had ever used before but she wanted to use it at least once before the Stranger took her. "Next time you start a fight, make sure to end it." She grasped both girls tightly by the hair making sure to bring their heads back far enough that they fell behind her, she turned and with as much might as she could, she kicked them just as they had kicked her.
No mercy. A dragon does not show its enemies mercy.
Baela's lips had pooled with blood after a sharp kick to her jaw had been delivered, Rhaena grasped Y/N's leg in efforts to stop her, surprised that she hadn't yet stopped.
Once she had lost her balance she hastily began to deliver blows to Rhaena, most of which made contact to the girl's face.
Jaecerys was inevitably knocked to the ground, Lucerys sneakily grasped his brother's dagger.
After the twins made no attempts to fight back Y/N spat her blood out of her mouth. With it, a baby tooth fell from her mouth.
Holding in her tears as best as she could, she gripped her abdomen, trying her best to slow the bleeding.
She turned to Aemond moments too late to stop the impending disaster -not that she could with the little energy she had- Jaecerys threw some dirt in her brother's eyes before Lucerys sliced at his face, puncturing his eye in the process.
At the sound of Aemond's scream Y/N's blood ran cold, she had seen it herself, his eye wouldn't be salvageable.
Multiple guards had intruded upon the scene. Rhaena and Baela stood behind them whimpering and sobbing, their faces bruised, bloody and swollen.
"Cease this at once!" Came one of the guard's voices to which Y/N only laughed through a sob.
The guards' eyes wandered over her bloodied form. "Gods, Princess." The first guard to have interjected the chaos spoke lowly, his eyes searching for a spot on her night dress that was white, looking for any strands of hair that weren't red in colour.
Y/N wobbled over to where Aemond was as did the first knight his eyes then focusing on Aemond and turning him over. "Gods be good." He muttered under his breath.
The guards stunned by the whole scenario, and the fact that the little girl who was littered with stab wounds was still walking.
It had simply appeared as though she was going to comfort her brother until she picked up the dagger and made her way towards Jaecerys who still lay on the ground a mere two steps from her. Her small hand found his throat, squeezing with all her might, taking all of her energy.
"I will take your eyes bastard!" She seethed, her voice only a whisper due to her lack of energy. "I don't think we'll be married now." Her voice was soft and solemn, having turned from malicious so quickly it bewildered Jaecerys. It was somewhat amusing to her that she would have, in her own dark and twisted way, gotten what she wanted.
Aemond would have smirked at the comment had he not been in immense pain.
"I never wanted it to go this far." He spoke quietly with a voice filled with what one could only consider to be remorse. Jaecerys dug his nails into her hand, which grasped his throat, and his other hand held her arm, which had the knife mere inches from his face. The girl's force was unrelenting until two guards pulled her from him.
The action caused her to wince in pain, no longer being able to ignore it. From the painful thudding in her head, the bruises covering her head to toe, her burst lip and multiple stab wounds all over her abdomen, it was too much and without another word or breath her eyes rolled to the back of her head as her hands and body went limp.
Aemond, having seen the panic on the guards' faces and his sister's small hand dangling freely, ran after her, screaming out her name, all the while clutching his wounded eye.
(For the sake of this book, The reader is 9, Aemond is 10, Aegon is 13, Helaena is 12. Jaecerys is 9, Lucerys is 6, Baela and Rhaena are both 8.
I wasn't really sure of the Velaryon boys and Targaryen twin' birth years. I only really knew the Green's birth years.
I know the show is different from the book so I just thought I'd share my aging process
From now on, it will be a darker rendition of the character Y/N but I plan on 'hopefully' making more House of the Dragon fics because I'm way too engrossed to wait over a year for another season.
I hope you'll join me in the next chapter, thank you!)
23 notes · View notes
fanfictionroxs · 9 hours
Tum and Phone fucking ripped my heart out. Tum hesitating to accept Phone's love and then spending years trying to bring him back to life because the love was always there. Tum staying stuck on Phone and still seeing his ghost even after 11 years, even after his one hope of reviving Phone was snatched away. Tum not being able to let go because the person he loved let go of his life too soon. But it was never a choice. It was just Phone's time, in this universe and in every other universe. Phone's time was up and so he was snatched away by the cruel hands of fate before Tum ever got a chance to figure out things between them or confess his true feelings.. his love was gone.
21 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
You are enough.
Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of mental health? I’ve been struggling recently and your stories brought me out of the darkness in some way or another so if possible? Thank you!
A/N: hey anonymous, thank you so much for the request. I understand how difficult mental health is. I’m so glad my stories have been able to do that. I’m sending you all the love and I hope this is okay. Remember you’re not alone. My DM’s are always open. Much love, Amber x
TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, pretty dark topics, panic attack, self hate, depression&anxiety- please read at your own discretion.
Mental health was a beast no one could tame. Depression, anxiety and so many more… it was almost torturous. As if the demons within your head created a pact together and decided it would be fun to torment you. It was never ending and to be quite frank it was exhausting. You sometimes felt as if no one understood you. It was so tiring. It felt as if the soothing words that were repeated over and over again became less soothing every time. As if the demons within you were becoming more tolerant to the words, to the comfort, as if they were slowly beginning to drown you. Harry, your boyfriend of 3 years even paid for you to get therapy… out of his own love and own money which you felt terrible for but he assured you it was for the best. The therapy was going well for a while but then it started becoming repetitive… you struggled talking and when you couldn’t talk and felt the pain wrap it’s cold loathsome hands around your throat constricting your breathing you simply couldn’t and wouldn’t talk.
That day was going awfully- first you encountered an ex friend whom you were not on good terms with, next you were caught in a flood of rain absolutely drenched and the cherry on the top was the fact when you walked inside your apartment it was empty. Cold. Sad. No one to wrap their arms around you. No Harry. No nobody. Just you and your confused uncontrollable emotions. You felt like such a waste of a human being.. no… you were a waste of a human being. You were meant to go to your weekly therapy session but you were exhausted, harry was out recording songs for his new album and you were just here wasting your life away. It felt as if everyone was accomplishing something… all except you. You dropped your bag onto the floor slowly moving towards your bedroom, the door hitting against the wall as you sniffled. You tried desperately to not cry. To not be weak but you couldn’t control the anger and resentment you felt… and not because of anyone… no… simply because of yourself. You hated yourself and didn’t know how to control the feelings flooding your blood stream. Your body sank into the bed, wet clothes still clinging to your skin as you curled up in a ball closing your eyes tightly as soft sobs began leaving your lips until the crying turned into little whimpers those whimpers turning silent too as you managed to somehow cry yourself to sleep. Everything was going so well… so damn well… and you just had to go ahead and ruin it. Harry would tell you it wasn’t your fault and you were being too harsh on yourself but he wasn’t there to soothe you… you couldn’t bear to even think good things about yourself. You were broken.
Harry had spent most of his day recording, he wanted to release new good songs and he knew the fans craved new songs. The recording went really well everything was coming together and he was quite proud of it however he had a horrible gut feeling that he simply could not shake. He knew what you went through and you were always his top priority no matter what, of course concerts mattered and performing for his fans was also his priority but you would always come first. If you needed him he would be right there to support you. He knew you quite well he knew how the simplicity of a hateful comment on social media could send you spiralling and so that’s why he made sure you got rid of social media, he didn’t want to be possessive or controlling but he didn’t want to see you go through the brainwashing factor of all the hateful comments, the comments that stripped you of your self love… you hated yourself and Harry had to do a whole lot to make you love yourself again and he wasn’t gonna let some child mess up your mental health. Most of the comments came from jealous 11 year olds who had no clue what the hell they were doing, it was harmful. Harry remembered the time when hate comments got the best of him too… but he built a tough skin, a wall around himself that protected him from any hate.. he knew how to cope with it but you… you just needed a tad bit more of TLC and he was more than willing to be that person to remind you that you are enough.
“Babe I’m home!” He called his voice echoing off the walls as he quietly shut the front door his ring adorned fingers lightly twisting the lock on the door to make sure they wouldn’t get any visitors. Stalkers most definitely weren’t a shock to Harry. “Baby?” He called once again his concern growing more as he slowly walked into your room his frame pausing as he saw you, your frail body laying weakly on the bed. He let out a soft sigh just glad you were okay before he took slow steps towards where you lay. He slowly sat down beside you on the edge of the bed his hand gently resting upon your shoulder his hand rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently his fingertips slowly drawing patterns “y/n?” He whispered out as he slowly laid down beside you his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close, and once he saw the way your eyelids fluttered every so slightly he let out a sigh as he gently caressed his hand over your face brushing some hair off of your forehead so he could look clearly into your tired puffy eyes, he knew you should be at your therapy session now but he didn’t bring that up… he knew not to. He knew you were having a mental crisis but that was okay. “What happened?” He asked simply and quietly “I-it doesn’t matter…” your voice was tired and weak his expression turning more stern as he gave you a disapproving but soft look “don’t say that. Of course it matters.” He murmured softly his lips gently pressing against your forehead as he pulled you closer to his body. “You matter, y/n… I don’t want you hiding your emotions from me. You matter, so therefore your feelings matter. C’mon. Talk.” He urged gently he knew when you got like this it took a while to coax it out of you but he had become petty expert at understanding you and understanding what helped knock you out of it. “I don’t wanna.” You whispered into his ear and he nodded, his fingertips gently soothing against your skin “okay. We don’t have to. But I’m gonna stay with you until you want to talk alright?” He said and for the first time you nodded slightly proving you wanted that and that you didn’t want to be alone.
His grip on you loosened ever so slightly as he sat up again scooting backwards so he was propped up on a couple of pillows his back resting against the headboard “c’mon sweetheart, cuddle time.” He murmured giving you a small smile his arms opening wide for you a soft little breath leaving your lips as you lugged your tired body up clambering on top of him, legs straddling either side of him before you leaned into his chest, his arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly and securely making sure you felt safe and sound as you practically melted into his embrace, eyes fluttering shut. “Want to watch a movie? Series? Marvel? Harry Potter? Stranger things? Back to the future?” He named all things you had both watched together at some point. You shook your head remaining nonverbal but he didn’t mind, he knew you needed him and he was going to be right there for you. Your head which rested upon his chest listened to the way his heart thumped rhythmically against his chest, so calmly, so warmly…. So peacefully. “Cartoons” the word soon left your lips as he gazed down at you a small smile tugging at his beautiful lips “alright.” He said simply, not judging one bit, cartoons were comforting in some aspects especially when you were going through a tough time. He put on your favourite cartoon before dropping the remote back down next to him his arm wrapping around you once again as he let out a soft sigh “I’ve got you… I’m right here… never leaving you.” He spoke softly as he pressed a little kiss to the top of your head.
The cartoon soon became a slight murmur in the background as tears blurred your vision a little sniffle coming from you “I’m sorry, H” you whispered meekly, he didn’t respond- simply wanting you to get whatever was on your mind out. “I-I…” you swallowed harshly unable to say it worried he’d be embarrassed of you, worried he would be disappointed. He knew the sound of your voice all too well, the way your eyes were full of worry “you hurt yourself didn’t you?” He asked and the tears that cascaded down your cheeks were enough of an answer for him a soft sigh leaving his lips as he held you tighter more protectively “oh darling… it’s okay..” he whispered quietly your breathing becoming heavier your heart racing so much so it was starting to hurt “I-I’m so sorry harry… I don’t know why I did it it was stupid… I- i was clean for so many days and now I go ruin it like a fucking idiot! I’m so stupid!” Your voice raised more with anger “hey hey hey… look at me.” Harry demanded his hand gently caressing against your chin as he made you look at him “don’t. Don’t. You’re not stupid. Everyone has little bumps in the road… you’re allowed to stumble and fall every now and then. We all are. I’m not angry at you. I’m not disappointed. I’m not upset with you. Breathe. In for four… hold for four… out for four.” He soothed slowly and gently your breathing soon calming down again as he looked into your eyes a soft assuring smile resting upon his lips “I’m sorry… so sorry.” You said quietly and he shook his head “you’ve got no reason to be sorry…” he assured gently “but-“ he shook his head silencing you by pressing a kiss to your lips “but nothing y/n.”
His words were assuring but calming as he smiled softly at you, he was sad you had hurt yourself but he wasn’t angry. No. Not in the slightest. “Can you show me?” He asked softly but once you shook your head he knew not to push your boundaries “okay sweetheart… you don’t have to… did you cover them though? Not bleeding anymore?” And as you shook your head he let out a soft sigh “y/n, I know things are hard right now, but I need you to be vocal with me.” He urged gently and as you looked into his eyes you remembered just how much you could trust him. “Didn’t use a knife or razor” you whispered quietly “lighter” you said, a soft sad look forming on his face as he nodded “okay.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek “thank you for telling me… I’m proud of you.” He murmured softly. You leaned back into him your lips resting beside his ear “I don’t know why I did it… I just felt empty… sad… it seemed as if the whole world was against me today… just felt hopeless.” You whispered to him and he listened giving you his undivided attention “that’s valid. You’re allowed to feel like that. Your feelings are valid.” He comforted his hand gently sliding up the back of your T-shirt as he allowed his warm hand to caress against your skin “I love you y/n.” He said softly and gently. “Love you too Harry.” You whispered and a small smile tugged at his lips. You deserved the world and he knew that… one day he hoped he would be able to help you see yourself through his eyes.
“Tell me, would you treat somebody the way you treat yourself?” He soon asked and you looked into his eyes a small frown forming on your face “of course not.” You said and he nodded “then why do you treat yourself the way you wouldn’t treat others? Do you not believe you deserve the same amount of love others deserve because that’s not true… maybe take some of the love you have for me and give it to yourself. You need to start loving yourself… seeing yourself the way I see you.” He murmured stroking his fingertips against your cheek gently. “How do you see me?” You asked and he smiled softly “well I see a beautiful woman who doesn’t see her worth… I see a woman who’s badass but doesn’t let that full badass potential come out to play enough… I also see a scared anxious girl who doesn’t know how to express herself properly… but within that is a beautiful girl who deserves nothing but happiness. You deserve it y/n. You’re worth it y/n. You’re enough, Y/n.” He said softly and the more you gazed into his eyes the more emotional you became “tell me…” he said softly “what?” You asked softly and he smiled reassuringly “tell me. Tell me you’re enough.” He said and you looked into his eyes “I’m enough.” You said softly and he smiled “good job… now a little louder.” You repeated it again… over and over…. Until somehow it was imprinted into your mind and he wouldn’t ever stop reminding you of that small but very big factor….
You’re enough.
20 notes · View notes
tinta-y-cometas · 1 day
Nunca te supere, en realidad solo te estoy olvidando y me acostumbro a estar sin ti.
- Felipe H.
21 notes · View notes
voidic3ntity · 1 day
the gravity of these words shall only be felt once again,
once confirmation is made completely, words of gold:
italicized & etched in bold, the great blue sky twilight;
another visionary, cast forth by refractions of silver.
20 notes · View notes
Reason to Live #8834
  Seeing squirrels running all over the place with big bushy tails. – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
72 notes · View notes