It’s like I’m invisible. I never feel heard, never feel seen, like nobody even cares? Like I’m a little kid again and I’m screaming but no sound comes out and everything is numb. I really really wish I had people who weren’t so preoccupied with their lives, who’d just you know look, really look at me.
Like I matter? Like something about me can be important too? Like I need to speak but I can’t? I don’t know how to even make sense
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waiting for low tide - one of my favourite disco elysium moments
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Haymitch as a character drives me a little bit insane bc like I always see people say haymitch survived his games bc he outsmarted them or cheated the system which is true, but that's only how he survived the final fight. The rest of it he survived because he never trusted anything or anyone except THE TIME HE DID TRUST SOMEONE she dies. Because of him. because he figured out something he wasn't supposed to know. And then everyone he loved was killed because he had survided. And then he has to escort 48 kids to their death and he knows all their names, and then finally finally they break the system. And then like, they win right? but all his friends are still dead and he's still drinking and like, I don't know! I don't know how you keep living in a world post everything, in a world that is now asking you to trust that things will get better and are better and safe now like how do you get yourself to trust when the only reason you even lived in the first place is because you never let your guard down.
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I AM NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING BY BEING AROMANTIC AND LOVELESS!
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Just thinking about Carmen with a gf who has an attitude and he just takes it bc he’s so head over heels for her.
She stops by The Bear for family but brings some work with her that she really needs to get done, and Carmen pops into the office—just to check on her! “Baby, d’you want some water?” or “Lemme make you somethin’.” or “You alright?”
And all she does is say “Carm, I’m busy. Go away.” or “Leave me alone.” with a tone that has him pouting even though he’s used to it by now. Carmen sighs and walks out of the office like an idiot, grabs her a glass of water anyway (he can’t help it ok???), and drops it off beside her with a kiss on her cheek and a hand on her shoulder that she more or less ignores.
And Richie’s watching all this go down, cackling when she snips at Carmen: “Cousin, she’s got you on a leash.”
And Carmen just tells him to “Fuck off.” because that’s his girl and he’s just happy to see her <3
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:( it’s like nothing ever goes right
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I sometimes think about men have almost the same rights, body autonomy, freedom in every country while for women life looks so different from country to country or at least from region to region.
In some countries you're forced to cover your head, in others you're prohibited from covering your head and in other countries you can wear/not wear what you want. You can have an abortion in that country but not this one. You can get education, degrees and have paying jobs in most countries but not in others. You can go to a doctor if you need to but there you can't because women aren't allowed to become doctors and women aren't allowed to see a male doctor..
I sometimes think about how shitty the country i live in is but then i think well at least i can get an education and go to a doctor.. i shouldn't have to be grateful for those things..
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