#sasanamoly

[ariseri]

jishou mushoku (自傷無色) - nekobolo (revised)

…how could i be someone that you can look up to? how could i be someone that is just like you? but even if i could change to someone else one day, that person wouldn’t really be me anyways.

a childish dream i had i know wouldn't come true. but look at me, the way i am, i think i’d be better off dead soon

everyday i’m alive, i hurt another person, see; everyone i’ve known has always been hurt by me! everyone i have loved has started to move on ! …i wish i could say that wasn’t wrong.

if one day, i’m not alive; everyone should be happy! they’d all smile and laugh, now that they’re rid of me! yet as we are, why does no one hate me- -when i’m the monster they can all see?

though another day has passed by, it feels like i’m in a dream. and if I could quietly disappear, no one would care, it seems!

everyday i’m alive, no one really cares for me. it’d be so nice if for once they could try to see everyone I have loved couldn’t bare to move on why must this world really care if I was gone?

if one day, i’m not alive, it’d all still be so orderly it’s not like i ever really helped anybody yet as we are, can someone please hate me- -so me being gone would make someone happy?

one day, we’ll all find our ends, and we’ll all be gone in the same way one day, the ‘me’ i made in others will crumble, and i’ll be gone the same way one day, everyone is going to go different ways, even if we leave in the- but…

everyday i’m alive, i still see you so happy. why, after all the pain, can you smile so warm for me?

everytime you smile looking at me every bit of pain and desperation to be free but every reason i could think of said goodbye and left me with just you to see

if one day, i’m not alive, it’d all be so orderly it’s not like i ever really helped anybody yet someone loves me, you’d be so sad if i was gone why can’t i laugh it off and just move on?

[fakeosphere]

[kasaoko]

tagged by @aoiyuuta ty for tagging me

reposted this since i forgot to answer one question

Relationship Status: Lol Favorite Color: pink + red Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick Last Song I listened to: takarabako - sasanamoly  Last Movie I watched: umm... interstellar or wolf children i think, both were rewatches. lmao Top three TV shows: i’m gonna answer anime & say - gintama, natsume yuujinchou, and uhh... *throws pin at a dartboard* steins;gate Top three characters: as in ones i love? gintoki sakata, tomoya okazaki, and oikawa tooru Top three ships: wrightworth, tanunatsu, and many others, but i only have the patience to really love these two right now because both feature very prominent characters i find comfort in (edgeworth and natsume) Books I’m currently reading: herman hesse’s demian. but it’s on hiatus because my brain wants to think about how much more dreaming i could do while dead

Tagging: no one. if you wanna do this and say i tagged you, go for it

[musicinanime]

Takarabako - Sasanamoly

Anime: Natsume Yuujinchou Go

[ariseri]

guess i'm sharing my covers here now :] here's apriloop

[ariseri]

jishou mushoku (自傷無色) - nekobolo

How could I be someone you can look up to? How could I be someone who is just like you? But even if I could change to someone else one day, That person wouldn’t really be me anyways.

A childish dream I had I know wouldn't come true. Yet as I'm older, I now that know I need to die soon!

Everyday I’m alive, I hurt another person, see; Everyone I’ve known has always been hurt by me! Everyone I have loved has started to move on ! …I wish I could say that wasn’t wrong.

If one day, I’m not alive; everyone should be happy! They’d all smile and laugh, now that they’re rid of me! Yet as we are, why does no one hate me- -When I’m the monster they can all see?

Though another day has passed by, it feels like I’m in a dream. And if I could quietly disappear, no one would care, it seems!

Everyday I’m alive, no one really cares for me. It’d be so nice if for once they could try to see Everyone I have loved couldn’t bare to move on Why must this world really care if I was gone?

If one day, I’m not alive, it’d all still be so orderly It’s not like I ever really helped anybody Yet as we are, can someone please hate me- -So me being gone would make someone happy?

When it all ends, we’ll be gone anyway, so whats the point of not giving up? When will it end, and the person they made in me, finally goes and fades into dust? And it finally ends, so I’ll have to leave you, but I have to, I have had enough.

Everyday I’m alive, I still see you so happy. Why, after all the pain, can you smile so warm for me?

I couldn’t handle it anymore and I wanted to die But when you looked at me in the eyes I wanted to put up a fight But it was like all the pain and my reasons just went and said goodbye

If one day, I’m not alive, it’d all be so orderly It’s not like I ever really helped anybody Yet someone loves me, you’d be so sad if I was gone Why can’t I laugh it off and move on?

[ariseri]

kanade tomosu sora (カナデトモスソラ) - nekobolo

though all i want to do is remember, it feels like im being crushed under all this weight, but it’s not a place i can run to, so the only thing i can do is keep repeating myself – i just – ah,

it’s what you always do (still) you wear down so few (still)

even though aware, i can’t see what’s here to be yet what i still don’t know, it’s here piling up in front of me please look

why have i rejected the life i’ve lived? not seeing it made me feel so dumb. could i try to touch it a little bit - its numb - though i wish to tell you everything, i don’t know if i can, but still, please hey, please more, hey, please more! i wanna see

a picture from this oh, unknown world that we’re living in, i think i’ll make it sound

i really thought everything would be okay if i still kept everything here the exact same, but it’s so meaningless, yet even so i tried to draw out a single wish from my fantasies, but

every fall is my fault, i believe now all i have to do is breathe finally

even after all this time i stay blocking out the cage

i’m not looking to listen to some story, no matter how simple i just want to hear your voice

it hurts, but the words keep coming out, they’re choking me so hard, but if my eyes softly close, it only hurts a little, but

i want to tell you everything, i don’t know when or if i can, but- hey, please more, hey, please more! i wanna see

why have i rejected the life i’ve lived? not seeing it made me feel so dumb. could i try to touch it a little bit - its numb - though i wish to tell you everything, i don’t know if i can, but still, please hey, please more, hey, please more! i wanna see

a picture from the oh, unknown world that we’re living in a fragile fragment i’m unsure of, but it still blooms.

i think i’ll make it sound.

out there, searching for something though in the midst of nothing nothing, i can’t see anything around now so i closed out tomorrow

even if it’s all empty, i have it because it’s nothing and i want to keep this melody as a memory

[ariseri]

april loop (エイプリループ) - nekobolo

i was counting how many words and meanings contradict each other this time oh, i’m so sorry about that. i was just talking about nonsense, don’t worry, it’s all fine. i was counting how many words and meanings that i’d ended up regretting but this time i’m not sad, it’s because i have all this time to be here wasting.

i look for now, a tomorrow, and even after that but there’s no meaning to be had i think it’s fine to dream of imitating something else if that can keep you living all by itself

but now i’ll leave, i’ll find a place that nobody could ever see to love someone, or be happy, it’s not what i need, it’s not what i need. i’ll go somewhere you’ll never find, and i’ll leave my regrets behind i still have hopes of leaving behind some sort of meaning. so i just talk to myself in my mind

i was counting how many actions and meanings contradict each other this time oh, i’m so sorry about that. i was just trying to be silly, don’t worry, it’s all fine. i was counting how many actions and meanings that i’d ended up regretting but this time i’m not sad, it’s because i’m an idiot and i’m still waiting

did you notice it repeats again and again? it’s because there’s no meaning to be had. i think it’s fine to like things and dislike something else if that can keep you living all by itself

but now i’ll leave, i’ll find a place that nobody could ever see to shed a tear, or be in pain, it’s not what i need, it’s not what i need. i’ll go somewhere you’ll never find, and i’ll leave my regrets behind i still have hopes of leaving behind some sort of meaning.

i had a dream that i designed, i had a dream just yesterday i had a dream that won’t come true, and a past that i want to erase

there are people that i hate, and there are those i admire i just can’t count how many times i’ve wished to die, but after everything, i’m alive.

it’s okay to hate me if it means you won’t forget about me if that’s me being selfish… i’ll swallow it down, you see…

but now i’ll leave, i’ll find a place that nobody could ever see to remember that day, or my feelings, it’s not what i need, it’s not what i need. i’ll go somewhere you’ll never find, and i’ll leave my regrets behind i can’t help but wonder if i ever managed to reach your heart

but i guess that’s just me talking to myself

[ariseri]

goodbye april doppel (さよなら4月のドッペルさん) - nekobolo

every once in a while, i’ll have a conversation with “me” although it’s something you can’t see

the april breeze is here now our distance fades to the clouds it’s strange, because everything else is the same i see your face

on the chance that we could meet only one of us will be incomplete on the reason i hoped we could meet hey, actually, what was it?

“if only one of us were real the other is fake, you can not conceal the fact that is i should just die- -just kidding!” see you- bye bye

the april breeze is gone now my voice fades into the clouds almost just like our lives, one betrayed was a mistake

maybe if we weren’t friends we wouldn’t have been condemned i’ve doubted fate, and yet we met hey, actually, why is that?

“if only one of us were real the other must be fake, i want to conceal but no, that couldn’t be the case -right? see you- bye bye”

as to walk and still avoid the crowds as to live, but drift away without a sound if it’s the only reason i need, i believe that there is someone living known as ‘me’

“then there’s nothing else i will need i can live on, if that’s all i believe.” but that’s not actually how it is, that’s when i glossed over this

i want you to, but i can’t let you disappear with me.

on the chance that we could meet only one of us will be incomplete on the reason i hoped we could meet hey, actually, what was it?

“if only one of us were real the other is fake, you can not conceal the fact that is i will die-”

on the chance that we could meet we could overlap, and come together, complete the fact is, yesterday, i wanted to die hey, actually, what happened?

now there’s nothing but me the other’s the cherry blossoms that i can only see if one day, we met again- just kidding! see you- bye bye.

[ariseri]

life game (ライフゲーム) - nekobolo

so, i know, ideals are what we hope to find but i think all i wish to do is die when the next day passes through me we won’t remember anything, surely.

i’ve kept all of my memories until now i hope i can destroy them somehow and though i tell my self it’s meaningless, but i know it will dissolve into nothing as soon as the day passes us

i know i might be a bit of a fool it’s why i keep accidentally breaking the rules i know i’ll never be able to go to my desires spinning around is how i pass this time

this time, at the place i stand not even your words, i can’t understand i wish i could just block them out, so i can’t hear them the same but there’s no use crying over spilled milk in the life game

whether it’s yesterday or today not a single memory of them can replay

i know i might be a bit of a fool it’s why i keep accidentally breaking the rules i know i’ll never be able to go to my desires spinning around is how i pass this time

for now, i can just live until i die with no clue what lies ahead for “i” what lies in front of my eyes is all life has became but i don’t regret it, this is the life game