Have a doc filled with Mario headcanons and wanted to share the sexualities part because fuck it, it’s still pride month.
Disclaimer since it’s relevant to this post : I headcanon that Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all creatures from the world of the Mushroom Kingdom who look the way they do due to magic gems (those blue and green gems that Peach and Daisy have respectively). Peach is a Toad, Daisy is a Dino-Rhino (unless those flower people from Mario Bros acid trip Wonder are from her Kingdom, then again I like Daisy being a giant cool Dino, plus the trailer for Wonder showed several other big animals), not sure for Wario and Waluigi but they’re not humans. The Super Crown works the way it does because there’s one of those gems in it.
Also, since it’s briefly mentioned, what I call the “main” continent is made out of the Mushroom, Koopa, Bomb-omb, Thwomp, and Goomba kingdoms. Sarasaland (retconned into Flower Kingdom now ?) and other kingdoms are on other continents (yes I know in Superstar Saga the Beanbean kingdom is neighbors with the Mushroom. But since they never appear in other games, I’ve chosen to ignore that detail).
Anyways, onto the headcanons :
- Mario : Transmasc Aromantic Heterosexual ; he realized he’s aro after finding out Peach is a Toad and losing sexual interest in her (felt bad about it at first because he thought he fell out of love upon discovering Peach at her most vulnerable, Bowser made it worse for him by accusing him of liking her only due to her human form) ; him being transmasc is why he’s named Mario Mario (he thought it would be funny)
- Luigi : Cis Bisexual ; had a fling with Peasley + loves Daisy ; he’s gender non-conforming and sometimes shares clothes with Peach, he also trains his voice to be higher-pitched for the heck of it (+ it can help in case he has to take Peach’s place for a kidnapping)
- Peach : Demiromantic Pansexual ; is cis-passing in human form but is technically transfem due to being a Toad
- Bowser : Omnisexual ; Cis tho I like the idea of him being transmasc and birthing Junior’s egg
- Yoshi and Birdetta are T4T + poly (hence Birdetta flirting with others) ; Birdetta’s eggs aren’t actually eggs (insert joke about her “eggs” being white) ; not sure if “all Yoshis that lay eggs are female” but at least all those that lay eggs that can be fertilized are female (and on that note YOSHI MIGHT BE CANONICALLY TRANSMASC ???!!!) ; Yoshi is straight while Birdetta is plurisexual (bi/pan/omni etc)
- Daisy : Straight + intersex + transfem (imagine if Prince Haru from the 1986 movie was her appearance pre-transition, but remove the whole “Peach’s fiancé” part of the plot, or the plot as a whole since the events of this movie didn’t happen here, just keep Haru’s design as “Daisy before transitioning”)
- Big fan of the headcanon that Kamek is gay ; he doesn’t date because 1. He’s busy 2. He’s getting too old for this 3. He’s devoted to his son and grandchildren which takes all his free time
- Depending on which creature he is Wario would be cishet though I could also see him be plurisexual (bi/pan/omni/other label that has to do with dating more than one gender ; I like putting diversity in queer headcanons but I’m not the most knowledgeable on labels past the most common ones)
- Not sure for Rosalina, either aroace or she’s allo but just stays single due to her life situation ; probably non-binary (she/it, could also be a play on the fact that some see her as some kind of goddess)
- Pauline is Cis Lesbian and her and Mario parted on good terms after he came out as trans on top of other reasons (basically they still care a lot about each other but realized they were better off as friends, the whole “unknown aro + transmasc with lesbian” simply gave them an easier excuse to break up)
- Really not sure for Bowser's kids, the only ideas that are "set in stone" are that Ludwig is gay, Wendy is attracted to boys (doesn't meant she can't like girls), Lemmy is demi-boy (they/him) and Morton is attracted to girls (like Wendy it doesn't close the door for liking men).
Not sure for the rest, though I could see Iggy using he/neopronouns (likely xe/xem) and at least one of them being interesex. Btw the older kids say they don’t date because they’re busy with royal duties but the truth is they are just incredibly awkward + they can’t ask their dad for advice since he’s a romantic disaster
- I could see Toadsworth be aroace, since even in his younger years he cared more about raising his surrogate daughter than dating + he never pressures Peach into marrying ? In general he doesn’t seem to care about romance ? ; he’s also transmasc because Toad
- After seeing Bowser’s Inside Story and the beginning of Dream Team, Starlow is a lesbian crushing on Peach (is very buddy-buddy with Peach despite barely knowing her, makes a big deal out of Peach being kept safe, calls her “Peach” instead of “Princess” from the get go, at times seems to see Peach as the best person in the room)
- Toads and Goombas are naturally agender because mushrooms ; some choose to express a specific gender (ex Toadsworth, Toadette, Peach, the Toads and Goombas from the first two Paper Mario) ; some may use gendered pronouns even if their presentation doesn’t display any specific gender (ex Captain Toad using he/him despite looking like any other Toad) ; basically every Toad/Goomba that use gendered pronouns (or neopronouns) is technically trans and/or non-binary ; cisgender Toads/Goombas go by they/it ; the Super Crown gem gives the shape the Toad see themselves as but it doesn’t have to be cis-passing or even gender conforming, can be androgyne (Daisy took a while to figure herself out, hence her gem giving her Haru’s look at first ; she's not from an agender species but the way the gems work still applies to hers, hence mentioning how her being trans worked on that front)
- That previous point implies either all Toads have the same metabolism and thus all grow facial hair (Peach having to shave tho) or they have mushrooms that serves as HRT for those who want more “masculine” or “feminine” traits (hair/facial hair and tone of voice) ; the color of their hats has nothing to do with gender for Toads (ignore Nintendo’s weird obsession with making every female character in the Mario franchise pink)
- Sexual dimorphism in general is very rare/limited in this world (only the Beanbean kingdom has it ?), in “main” continent, Koopas are the ones where it’s the most present and even then it’s very minimal (genitals, who can lay eggs, possibly size but even then not really since Pom Pom is the only one smaller than her male counterpart, Wendy and other female Koopas aren’t particularly small)
- Toads (and other species) experimenting with gender could be due to seeing Koopas make the distinction between “male” and “female” and finding the idea of changing your appearance based on how you feel to be fun (even though you have the concept of male and female Koopas, there’s no transphobia in Bowser’s kingdom) ; by that point it’s common for Toads to change however they feel and go by any pronouns they want, just because they’re aware of the concepts of masculinity and femininity doesn’t mean they have to follow it to the letter with their pronouns unless they want to
- On that note, I could see Toadette as genderfluid, though she most often goes by she/her ; I could also see one or several of the other main Toads (Ala Gold, Bucken Berry, Captain Toad, "The" Red ToadTM) be bi-gender
- Not sure what’s going on with Waluigi but he’s definitely queer
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*slams door open for the seance* I am going to throw my two favorite sans together - demon cat boy. Imagine San as a nekomata, a demon cat with two tails, who’s been sneaking around humanity for a good century or two. He’s had his tricks and pranks with humans, always wandering, never staying in one place too long.
Until he meets you.
There’s just something about you draws him to you, and before he knows it he’s made your home his home. If you’re suspicious of the fact he has two tails, it doesn’t show much, just that you make sure to pet each tail with equal amount of love.
San loves the fact you praise him and spoil him, and he takes full advantage of your affection. He’s a cuddle whore, always in your lap kneading away in happiness with loud purrs.
But then he hears you one night, in your room, door closed to keep him out. He knows you’re getting off in your room, writhing on your bed, trying to imitate the satisfaction that only a lover could give you. And oh the sounds you make. So beautiful. And he can’t help but imagine what kind of sounds you’d make beneath him as he’d ruin you over and over again through the entire night.
San was always good at having patience, but now? With him palming his cock, tail twitching, as he listens to you through the door? His patience has worn thin, especially since it’s been quite a while since he’s slept with another being. And besides, it was only considerate of him to return the love you gave to him, right?
(Anyway just a thought I thought you’d might enjoy. Congrats on your 3K milestone! 🤭)
roo !!!! OH MY GODDDDD. i’ve told you before and i tell you again: you are a geniusss for this idea like you’re out here playing 4D chess while everyone’s still trying to figure out checkers sksk like holy shit nekomata san ….. demon !! cat boy !! sannie !!! me and the spirits are all staring at each other in disbelief rn hdjshd anyways i hope you enjoy :3 <333
⛧ seance smutfest ⛧
w.c: 2.7k
warnings: dom! san (he’s a little meanie in this), sub! fem reader (has a few tricks up her sleeve <3), san has cat hybrid/demon characteristics, he also has two cocks btw *cough*, pet names, praise, teasing, some outright disgusting romantic behavior (and a few L bombs??? *gasp* lesbians <3 no i’m jk sksjh i wish 😔), like one cat pun okayyy, kissing, possessiveness, olfactophilia, brief almost mutual masturbation, oral (receiving), squirting, double penetration in one hole (i mean…i had to yk?), creampie, cum kink idk
Masterlist
Just like every other night, you sat in your living room watching a new series on some overpriced streaming service with your dear companion curled up with his head resting on your lap, enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence. You found yourself moving your hands through his obscenely soft jet black hair for what seemed like hours, giving the purring demon’s shifting ears and dual tails the occasional loving stroke.
You enjoyed physical touch as much as the next person, but San was a different breed. He enjoyed it so much, he couldn’t keep himself from reciprocating in order to show his immeasurable appreciation and desire for you. That explained the deep, reverberating purrs that were coming from his chest, the coy little look he was giving you past his long eyelashes from below, his pink lips parted like he was waiting for you to say or do something. What, you didn’t know. Kiss him, maybe. Or tease him, perhaps. San wasn’t even quite sure what he wanted himself, but what he was sure of, was that he wanted to keep massaging your soft, bare thighs, especially since he finally managed to wiggle his way up underneath your sleep shorts.
Once the show lost its grip on your mind, you were suddenly distinctly aware of the way San was kneading into your upper thighs, his fingers getting dangerously close to your bare cunt. Was he just an adorable demon kitty getting lost in the moment or was he being naughty? Regardless, you began to get worked up over it.
When San slowly closed his eyes again from how warm and relaxed his body felt, you subtly squeezed around the base of one of his tails for only a moment, encouraging a light, throaty moan to leave San’s mouth. You smiled innocently down at him, despite the prolonged throb you felt in your core. “Are you feeling good, San?” you asked sweetly, about to do it again when the demon’s tail curled around your wrist, the other one gently grazing your chest.
“T-too good, mortal,” San mumbled, his cheeks flushing with color, his dual-colored eyes finding solace in your equally flustered disposition. “Y’know how sensitive my tails are.”
“How does it make your body feel?” You bit your bottom lip, running your fingers over the tail that began to drift down your chest, familiar with the pheromones he could release at any moment, wanting them to envelop you.
“Warm,” he replied simply, staring you down quite intensely, a small, pleased smile on his face, his fangs just barely visible past his curled lips. He knew what you were doing and what you clearly wanted, but he would wait to confront you for now, instead releasing pheromones that made the both of you develop an instant body and head high, like you were experiencing the effects of a body-altering fever.
“I…think I’m going to lay down for a bit, Sannie. I’m feeling a little overheated all of a sudden,” you sighed, gently pushing San off of you and standing up, unconsciously adjusting the crotch of your shorts, knowing internally how wet you were already.
San knew too, of course. He didn’t even have to see it for his own eyes. He could smell it. Your dripping arousal, just asking to be lapped up.
Shifting from one foot to the other, you pressed your thighs together, giving him a weak smile, the throbbing you felt almost becoming almost impossible to ignore any longer. “Why don’t you watch that one baking show with all the kitties that you like…to, um, keep yourself busy?”
San sat up from his relaxed position on the couch, letting out an inconvenienced meow. He was already so hard, mostly due to laying his head on your thighs. Your soft, soft thighs. He pressed his hands into the cushion below him, instinctively kneading it. “Kat’s Kitchen?” he asked, his head tilting to the side.
“Yes, watch that, okay?” You swallowed, clearing your throat. Even though it was perfectly normal to get aroused over such a thing, this time around, you were absolutely drenched, so you couldn’t help but feel like a pervert, unsure if San was just being his unsuspecting, cute hybrid self or if he was purposely trying to initiate something with you.
San watched you walk away with interest, momentarily deciding to turn on the show he loved so much. He sat there for a while, satisfied with the cute cats zooming around and playing together on screen while their owner put a cake in the oven and instructed the viewers on how long it should bake. A sudden overwhelmingly sweet aroma drifted into his nose, causing it to twitch and his pupils to grow to the size of marbles.
“Y/N…” He climbed off of the couch and headed towards the source of the scent, which just so happened to be your bedroom. Hearing soft sounds of pleasure slipping out past the cracked door, San pushed his face into it, causing it to open a bit more and allowing him to see you in all your glory — fully naked and covered in a light sheen of sweat, your legs fully spread open with a vibrator pressed directly into your swollen clit, while earnestly finger-fucking your squelching cunt.
“T-typical lust-driven mortal…” he stuttered to himself, unaware of how red his cheeks were, or how hard he was breathing, hardly noticing that he was already grinding himself against the doorframe, more and more beads of pre-cum staining the front of his sweatpants the longer he watched you pleasure yourself.
“Wanna cum…” Huffing and blowing a bit of hair out of the way, you slid the vibrator into your aching cunt, working your clit with two digits.
“Fuck, Y/N…” San groaned and gripped the doorframe tightly, routinely dropping his hips and desperately thrusting upwards into the sleek wood, wishing he was inside you instead.
“San…fuck, don’t stop,” you moaned out, hastily dropping one of your legs down against the bed, pushing the toy further in, your fingers starting to cramp. “Fuck me, please, fuck me harder…”
The demon’s fluffy ears rotated individually like satellite dishes that were on two opposite frequencies, his hips slowly ceasing their movement. That was basically an invite, right? And if you wanted him so bad, then he might as well give you a reason to moan his name again.
You didn’t even notice San’s presence until he was on the bed and in between your legs, his warm hands massaging into your thighs and his mouth near your pussy, turning red at the sight of his clear desire. His friendly, always curious look was replaced with an intense, unwavering gaze, his mismatched eyes sharp and focused solely on yours.
“Y/N, I heard you calling for me…” He squeezed your thighs, pressing his cheek to the inside of one of them, nuzzling it lovingly. “Will you let me show you how good it feels to be loved by me?”
Blushing, you gave him a sheepish smile, eventually reaching down to slip your fingers into his sleek black hair. “Show me, San.”
-
“Show me, Y/N,” San said in a soft, muffled voice, his glistening lips and tongue on your clit, his fingers locked in an aggressive ‘come hither’ motion inside your pulsing hole. “Let me see the way you fall apart for me.”
“Sannie, it’s coming out, oh my god, I’m, fuck–” you cried out, tossing your head back, your body twitching and shuddering as you catapulted head-first into your orgasm, coating San’s tongue and fingers with your squirt.
“Mmm, that’s my good girl.” San took a deep inhale of your wet heat, his nose grazing over your extremely sensitive clit, rubbing your wetness around with his fingers, finding your small whimpers satisfying enough for him to begin purring. “Fuck, you smell and taste so good, baby, I can’t get enough.” He began to lap at your clit with his rough tongue, his reverberating purrs sending wave after wave of pleasure throughout your body.
“S-sannie, no more tongue,” you whined, lightly tugging on his hair, only encouraging him to lick at your cunt even faster than before, his nose routinely grinding into your clit. This sent you over the edge, your cunt clenching around nothing now that his fingers were rubbing circles in your thighs. “Pleaseee, I need you, I need you so bad.”
“What do you need from me, baby?” he questioned with a brow raised, licking up the cum that had leaked out of you and swallowing it down, making you jolt. “Say it.”
“Your cock, I need it,” you sighed out, your mind clouded with immeasurable desire for the feline-like demon.
“Both of them?” he teased, his head quirking to the side, his eyes upturned with clear satisfaction. Still in between your legs, he slowly sat up, lowering his boxers just enough to let his thin, but long dual cocks slip out and slap against one another. He smiled at you, flashing his tiny cat fangs at you, about to grow a third cock just from the way you were looking at them. “You’ve been so wet and needy for me all night, baby. I bet you can take them, can’t you?”
“Yeah, I can, so please fuck me, Sannie,” you desperately agreed, your mouth watering at the sight of his throbbing, veiny pink cocks just asking to be shoved deep inside you.
“Good girl. Now, open up for me, sweetheart.” San guided his cocks to your entrance, smiling at the sight of you obediently holding your thighs open for him. He pursed his lips together to let some spit drip down onto his lengths, lubing them up with his hands, before he began to slowly push into you. “That’s it…How’s that, baby?”
“K-keep going,” you breathed out, your eyes zoned in on where your bodies met, San’s cocks slipping further and further into your heat, ready to cum just from the pleasurable stretch you began to feel.
“Look at you, taking all of me like this,” San chimed breathlessly as he bottomed out, his cocks twitching inside you, his hands rubbing your hips affectionately.
San was definitely in your guts. You wanted him to mix them all up like he had already done with your emotions. “I’m so full, Sannie. It’s so good.”
San smiled sweetly, beaming with pride. He began to knead your lower abdomen, feeling the outline of himself inside you underneath his fingertips. “Good girls like you deserve to be spoiled. I’m going to move now, okay, sweetheart?”
“Okay, Sannie,” you answered softly, reaching up to caress his cheeks, slowly guiding his lips down onto yours. You looked into each other’s wide eyes for a second before your irises disappeared under your equally heavy eyelids, breathing yourselves out and taking one another in instead, melting together in a mess of carnal adoration and idyllic purity.
And, just like that, he was fucking into you like a well-oiled machine, quick and consistent, making sure to go balls deep so you wouldn’t have to go one single second without both of his cocks rubbing deliciously against your inner walls, effectively lighting your insides ablaze. Groaning into your open mouth, he broke the kiss to express, almost drunkenly, “Fuck, your pussy’s so tight, baby, fits me like a glove. Like you were made for me, huh?”
“Made just for you,” you replied against his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to them, only for him to press his mouth firmly back onto yours. You moaned onto his gliding sandpaper tongue when he grabbed the underside of your thighs and folded you in half, sinking deeper into your cunt, reaching places you never thought existed.
Besides the repetitive gasps and whines San was forcing out of you with every snap of his hips, the distinct sound of your wetness could be heard squelching in between your joined sweaty bodies. San inevitably broke the messy kiss to whisper, “Hear that?”
“Yeah, I can hear it,” you squeaked out, barely able to focus on the sound of your arousal over the sensation of being stuffed with two throbbing cocks at once, your core already strung so tightly it could snap at any second and propel you into an abyss of pleasure.
“You’re so wet for me, Y/N, so fucking wet.” San gripped your thighs, pulling out in preparation for a deep thrust, one of his cocks accidentally slipping out all the way, allowing the other to grind along your cunt and across your clit. “Oh, fuck, I can barely stay inside, baby. It feels so hot, oh god, I might cum.”
“Cum for me, Sannie.” You reached down and stroked his pulsing cock, causing San to toss his head back in ecstasy, your fingers slipping against his reddened, slick cockhead when ropes of hot cum shot out of it, coating your pelvis and dripping down onto your cunt. “Silly kitty, that was supposed to go in me.”
Without hesitation, San pulled out completely and ran his fingers through the puddles of cum he left behind on your skin, eagerly slipping them into your hole and fucking the still warm liquid inside you, landing a critical hit on you with one sudden, filthy move. “There we go,” he beamed snarkily, holding his cocks and slowly pushing his cockheads back into your stretched cunt, but stopping halfway. “Are my cocks supposed to go back in you too, pretty girl? Or are you tuckered out?”
“No, I want it, feels so good, Sannie. I love the way you make me feel.” You ran your hands down San’s back, feeling his muscles tense up against your fingertips as he pushed himself all the way back inside and got back to work, pushing his cum deeper into you, his tails occasionally brushing against your skin like a paintbrush. “Don’t stop, okay?”
“Oh, baby,” he cooed into your ear, looking you in the eye. “I’m not going to stop until you fall apart for me. Remember that? Or is my princess feeling a bit forgetful right now?” He sighed against your fragrant, warm skin, slowly lowering himself to your neck to lick, suck, and lightly bite it, marking what was his.
“Don’t be such a tease, Sannie,” you pouted, taking ahold of his tails near the base, stroking them in an outwards direction, hearing what were going to be words come out as groans instead — ones that grew softer and more drawn out, turning into pleasured moans the more you played with with his wavering tails. “Were you going to say something, Sannie? Who’s–nngh–the forgetful one now, huh?”
San continued to moan and gasp for air, his once intentional thrusts growing sloppier and more desperate by the second, drool starting to drip down past his glistening lips. Feeling your fingers tighten around the base of his tails, San clutched your thighs tightly, his eyebrows screwing together. “W-wait, if you do that, I’m–”
“Aww, what’s wrong, Sannie? Cat got your tongue?” you giggled, squeezing his tails and rubbing them together like you would do with his cocks, about to tease him further when something hot and thick began to pour deep inside you and coat your inner walls with white, your breath getting caught in your throat. “Oh, San, oh my god, it’s so–”
“Cumming, I’m cumming for you, Y/N,” he choked out in between grunts, lowering himself down further to press kiss after kiss onto your swollen lips, groaning into your mouth form the way you hooked your legs around his slim waist, milking him of all his love with your clenching, throbbing cunt. “Fuck, I love you…love this…love you…”
“Love you too,” you whispered against his moving lips, your overheated body shuddering against his as you both rode out your highs, finding yourself unable to swallow the lump that had formed inside your dry throat, not choosing to swallow your following words. “Please, don't stop, Sannie. Love me again.”
San pulled back just enough to look down at your flushed, pretty face through his wet strands of hair, his fingers resting against your jaw. “I wasn’t planning on it, Y/N.” With his ears twitching slightly, San’s pink lips curled up just enough to let his fangs slip out, his cheeks dusted with pink. “I’ll love you until it’s pouring out of you. Until you’re so full of me, of my love, that you won’t need anyone else except for me. Does that sound good?”
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