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tirednotflirting · 3 years

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remind me how it used to be

we did it! we wrote a sequel to all too well jalex! (and by we i mean myself and the ever amazing and wonderful @reveriesofawriter)

alt title (aka meghna’s doc title): how you get the jack lol

once again it has been so much fun to build up this little world and write with meghna. especially in this where we got to play around some more with timeline and such like i feel like every time we would chat about or work on this fic i was learning so damn much. meghna, my love, thank you for making writing so much fun. this has been such a blast and i love these boys and this story so much.

lots of alcohol mention in this bc boyboy still owns a bar and i’m a total lush so as always there’s just lots of wine lol

if you wanna read the first part of this you can find it heeeeeere

and if ao3 is more your jam, you can find that for this part here

ps - bella we fixed it : )

Jack pulls his door open expecting it to be Zack or Rian, but instead he’s face to face with someone who might as well be a ghost. Lightning flashes behind Alex as he stands two steps outside Jack’s front door, soaking wet with the first of the summer storms. His hair is plastered across his forehead, little rivulets running down his face from every strand.

The last thing Jack expects is for this obvious hallucination to speak, but as soon as he does, it’s a lot harder to believe he’s not real, a living breathing human, dripping with rainwater like he’s been out in the storm all day. “I wasn’t planning on asking this, but can I come in?”

Jack blinks a few times, thinking maybe it’s some kind of rainbow-type of mirage that’ll disappear with enough time, but Alex is still there. Jack wordlessly pulls the door open wider and leaves Alex in the hallway as he mumbles something about grabbing a towel and leaves the room. As if in a fever dream, he texts Rian that he might be going crazy. He grabs a towel and glances down when Rian replies asking wtf he means by that, but decides he should check and see if he really did imagine it all before involving other people in his overactive daydreams.

When he steps back into the hallway, Alex is still standing in front of the door, dripping water onto the hardwood floor. He’s wringing his hands like he’s uncomfortable, which makes two of them. Jack hands him the towel and tries not to watch as Alex runs it over his face and hair before wrapping it around his shoulders.

When Alex stops moving, Jack finally finds his words. “What are you doing here?”

Alex didn’t expect Jack to let him in when he got in his car half an hour ago and then sat there for a length of time telling himself it was worth it to drive all the way here. He didn’t expect Jack to let him in when the sky cracked open and started pouring rain the second he pulled out of his driveway – it was only a sign if he let himself think so, because it always rains this time of year. He didn’t expect Jack to let him in when he got a flat tire a couple blocks away from Jack’s house and decided fuck it, he was running the rest of the way if that’s what it took. He didn’t expect it even as he stood outside and rang the doorbell and saw the pure shock on Jack’s face when the door swung open.

And yet, here he is, drenched and cold and beyond uncomfortable for neither of those reasons after Jack said something about getting a towel and ran in the direction of his bedroom. Six months ago, Alex would have let himself in without knocking and made himself at home beside Jack wherever he was despite being wet, because Jack would be warm and annoyed but would cuddle him back.

Jack gives him a towel as promised and shifts awkwardly until Alex at least has his face dry. “What are you doing here?” he asks. It’s not an unfounded question, but somehow he doesn’t have this part planned out. Is this where he starts apologizing? For showing up out of the blue? Or for literally everything else?

Jack has been tiptoeing around him for nearly an hour, and of course he understands why, but it’s making his own restlessness that much worse. He’d called a towing company for his car and had made it clear that he planned on leaving as soon as they got there, but he hasn’t gotten a call yet and it’s only Jack’s hospitality keeping him from walking back to his car and sitting inside alone for who knows how much longer.

Alex hadn’t known how to start apologizing, so he hadn’t. He told Jack he got a flat tire and just happened to be close enough to drop by. He’d explained he’d been wanting to stop by anyway, but Jack was taking everything he said with a wary eye, and Alex couldn’t blame him, so he settled for small talk, hoping it would eventually stop feeling so forced.

“You’re teaching?” Jack asks. He’s sitting on a whole other chair, and it might as well be in another house.

“I am a teacher, that’s kinda my job.”

“I thought you liked having summers free. To explore the world and all that.”

Six months later and Alex wishes he wasn’t surprised that Jack remembers anything so minute about him. It almost gives him hope that maybe this isn’t just Jack being too polite to kick him out. “I didn’t feel like going anywhere. I guess I just wanted a distraction.” He hopes Jack knows he doesn’t mean he wanted a distraction from him, when Jack has been his distraction from everything happening around him in the direction of the future for as long as he can bear to remember. Almost the opposite, summer school is supposed to be distracting him from wanting to run. He’s made that mistake enough times to know when he has something strong enough and pure enough to hold onto. “Besides, paychecks from teaching only go so far.”

“I’m sure you would have managed.” Jack is still holding his empty mug even though he finished his tea a while ago. Alex hadn’t had to ask him to make it, but while he was on the phone, Jack had made them both cups and handed one to Alex as soon as he hung up. It was surely partly to give his hands something to do, but Jack still knows how he likes his tea, which isn’t nothing.

“I didn’t want to waste my summer when I had a reason to stick around.” Jack looks a little surprised, but otherwise Alex can’t read his expression. Alex switches which leg he’s sitting on so he’s leaning slightly closer to Jack. “I hate how things ended—how I ended things between us. I’ve regretted it ever since. You always deserved a better explanation, and I don’t- I didn’t leave. I always leave, but I didn’t, and it took me this long to figure out why. I’m sorry for everything I said. I wish I could take it all back.”

Jack has gone from surprised to shocked, and Alex doesn’t know if anything he just said makes sense at all. He’s supposed to be home modifying a power point about Henry VIII to fit the summer school curriculum, and instead he’s sitting in the heaviest silence he’s ever felt, because he can’t say sorry again until Jack says something. “I’ll be right back,” is what Jack finally says. He takes his mug when he leaves the room and Alex has a feeling he’s texting Rian in the kitchen, which is his cue to leave.

He pulls the towel off his shoulders and heads toward the bathroom where he knows Jack’s hamper is. It strikes him as he tosses the towel in that he still remembers where the hamper even is. It feels like lifetimes ago that he was in this house last. On his way back, he walks past Jack’s bedroom where the door is wide open. Everything looks the same; still warm and inviting and surprisingly tidy. The only thing that’s different is there are no more photos on the mirror. Of course Jack wouldn’t want reminders of him up on every wall. Of course he’d take them down after everything Alex did. In fact, he probably wouldn’t want Alex near his room at all, let alone staring into it feeling waves of bittersweet nostalgia that he’s still not sure he’s allowed to feel. He tears himself away from the doorway, heart pounding in his ears, and goes back to the couch.

By some miracle of timing, he gets a text from the tow truck guy saying he’ll be there in ten minutes, so Alex stands up. He wants to disappear and pretend he was never there, but more than that he wants to make sure Jack knows how sorry he is, that he’s willing to do anything to make him believe it, and mostly to let him know he never really fell out of love, not back then and not over the time they’ve been apart. Jack comes back without the mug and takes in Alex looking like he’s about to leave.

“Tow truck is almost there,” Alex says.

“I’ll drop you off,” Jack says, after a moment’s hesitation.

“You don’t have to-”

“It’s still raining, and you said you’re only a couple blocks away. It’s no big deal.”

Jack waits until they’re driving to say anything more, maybe so he knows Alex can’t physically escape. “Why did you really come over?”

It’s the simplest question he could have asked, all things considered, but it still catches Alex off guard. “I wanted to say sorry. In person. I want you to know I mean it. And I know it’s stupid to even ask, but I wanted to see if you’d be willing to give us another chance.”

Jack finds Alex’s car easily where he’d said it would be. “What’s different this time?”

If there’s one thing Alex knows about history, it’s that it repeats itself, but Alex is determined to stop it this time. He doesn’t know how, but Jack hasn’t said no, so as far as he can tell he’s on the edge of a second chance. “I won’t be afraid to tell you what I want, and I’ll try as hard as I can to make sure it’s the same as you.”

“What were you afraid of?” Jack asks. A pair of headlights shines at them as the tow truck pulls up from the opposite direction.

“That I wasn’t enough, I guess.” Alex blinks in the bright lights. He watches the faint shadows of the rain on the windshield warp Jack’s face. “So?”

“Come by the bar sometime. I don’t have an answer for you yet.”

Alex pushes the door open and heads back out into the rain to talk to the tow truck driver who looks less than thrilled to be there. Jack gives him a small wave as he drives away, and it’s not a no. It’s almost enough to pin some hope on.

“Lizzie, have you seen the inventory sheets anywhere? Rian needs them for the ordering tomorrow,” Jack asks his lead bartender as he steps behind the bar. He immediately ducks down to check on the shelves below the card reader since he swears he saw it there a couple days earlier when he hears a familiar giggle somewhere above him on the other side of the bar.

He quickly stands, the folder he was looking for now in hand, and feels his knees give out just slightly at the view he’s met with. “You’re back.”

“Had to come back,” Alex says, every syllable flirted. “Lizzie makes the best paloma in town.”

“Alex, please. I’m blushing,” Lizzie jokes back as she wipes down the counter. She lets out a laugh when her eyes catch Jack’s still stunned look. It’s the second time this week Alex has come to grab a drink after work. He’d been a lot more hesitant walking back into the bar earlier in the week, his nerves obvious at being back in another space that belonged to Jack. He had stayed sitting at the bar far past what Jack knows his weeknight bed time to be in order to small talk and more casually catch up while Jack organized behind the bar. Jack still hadn’t been ready to give him an answer to his question then. He wanted to be smart about this and having Alex back at the bar, smiling and telling stories from his classroom, had him so over the moon he was almost sure he was in a dream. It was one he had had numerous times in the first few weeks following the breakup. It had always been the small, casual moments with Alex that felt the biggest back then.

Now, the more confident, easy going approach Alex seems to be taking tonight is far more like what Jack remembers Alex being like when seated at his bar, a tiny straw tucked between his lips and his legs likely swinging back and forth below the seat of his stool.

He clears his throat and leans against the counter in front of Alex. “Always in here distracting my employees.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” Alex returns while fluttering his eyelashes and leaning to rest his cheek against his palm.

Jack bites his lip as a small smile pulls at his lips. They’ve been here before. He knows what game Alex is starting and he’s not afraid to admit silently to himself this time that he’s missed being a player in it. “I literally own the place. You’d indirectly be paying me for my own drink.”

“You’re ruining my line,” Alex replies with a teasing smirk. He drums his fingers against the bartop and lifts a brow as if challenging Jack to reject his offer.

Jack lets out a short laugh and shakes his head before slipping the inventory folder under the cash drawer for Rian to get tomorrow. “Lizzie, can you get me a Tito’s on the rocks?”

The girl still standing beside him behind the bar laughs as she scoops ice into a glass before reaching for the vodka. “That going on his tab, boss?” she asks with a smile while glancing between the two of them.

“It is,” Jack answers while playfully rolling his eyes before walking around the bar to take the stool beside Alex. Instinctively, he reaches a hand up to flick at Alex’s recently bleached bangs that sit over top of the red bandana tied around his head. He thanks his bartender when she slides the drink across the counter to him and he can’t help but pinch himself again to be reminded that this is actually happening. That Alex is here, in his bar, smiling like the sun while sipping a fruity cocktail. That they might be giving this another shot.

It feels familiar and it feels good and Jack knows that they should, that they need to take this slow. That despite how serious he could tell Alex was about this last week, Jack needs to be checking in on things more often this time around to make sure he protects his heart.

“How was summer school today?” he asks before taking a sip from his glass. And then Alex turns to face him and launches into a story about trying to get teenagers to focus on the Revolutionary War when they would much rather be at a beach or the mall or anywhere that isn’t a high school classroom. He laughs along with Alex while he tells him about the elaborate excuses he gets for late homework and tries to ignore the electricity he feels run up the entire length of his body when their feet knock together below the bar.

They banter back and forth for long enough that all of Jack’s typical Thursday night patrons come and go before he even thinks to check the clock on the wall and see that it’s getting late. Once they reach a brief lull in their conversation, Jack reaches for their glasses to push toward the back of the bar to be collected by the bartender that came in to replace Lizzie.

“Are you going to be good to drive?” Jack asks as he turns back to Alex, the bright blush painted across his cheeks being the cause of the questioning.

(He wants to believe the blush is at least partially from the flirting they’d mixed into their back and forth tonight but he’s seen Alex mixed with tequila enough times to know it’s always best to check.)

“I’m just a little tipsy,” Alex says with a grateful smile while reaching for a pen to sign the receipt that’s been placed in front of him. “But I also Ubered tonight so I’ll be plenty safe.”

“I could give you a ride?” The offer leaves Jack’s lips without a second thought, his protective nature over the boy in front of him returning without a trace of hesitation.

The smile pulls further at Alex’s lips as he pulls on his denim jacket. “Sure,” he says with a nod. “If you wanted to keep me company while I grade quizzes, that could be nice too? Might help keep me awake?”

It’s a dangerous game they’re playing but Jack’s mind immediately starts wondering whether or not the bowl by the front door for keys is still the one Jack had painted at a studio on one of their earlier dates the previous fall or if Alex ever got around to alphabetizing the books on the shelves in his living room. There’s only one way to find out, Jack tells himself. And they’re bound to make it to this point again eventually, right? He had Alex back in his space last week and no kind of catastrophes occurred.

“Let me grab my keys.”

The bowl sitting on the table beside the front door is the same though there’s a few more chips in it that tells him Alex is still prone to knocking it over after getting home from a night out or a shitty day at work. The cheap white wine he offers Jack once they’ve made it as far as the kitchen is also the same as well as the mug he automatically gets for Jack when he rejects the offer of wine but accepts a tea.

Alex leaves him in the kitchen to go grab his work bag while the water boils. Jack takes a deep breath as he inspects the room, trying to note differences that show that some time has passed since the last time Jack was here. There’s some new polaroids up on the fridge, the gallery for candids usually taken during parties, of Alex and some of his coworkers. There’s a small succulent sitting on the edge of the counter that could probably use some water. A container of muffins with a heart drawn across the lid sits on the island and Jack assumes from the floral design around the edge of the clear plastic that it was likely sent home with Alex the last time he visited his parents.

Nothing is drastically different though. If Jack tried hard enough he could easily pretend no time at all has passed since the last night he drove Alex home after a night flirting across the bar. For a moment he lets his daydream run off and he can see himself trying to distract Alex while he checks his email with kisses pressed against Alex’s cheeks and fingertips drawing patterns against his shoulders left bare by whatever tank he’d thrown on practically the moment they arrived back. Jack can picture himself tripping over his own feet while shuffling through the kitchen to make them tea and he can hear Alex’s giggles at his tired movement as he pushes himself up onto the counter. He can see Alex’s rolling eyes and a smile when he finally gives up on trying to finish the last of his tea and lets Jack sleepily pull him down the hall. Jack is starting to think of kisses being pressed against the tattoo below his ear while trying to brush his teeth when present Alex walks back into the kitchen as the kettle clicks off. Present Jack remembers that he’s supposed to be taking this slow and being careful this time. (Rian would be proud Jack is remembering his words of advice given his current situation.)

“Think I’ve got that herbal tea you like if you want that,” Alex says with his back to Jack as he searches through a shelf in his pantry. Ironically, he’s changed into a faded band t-shirt cut into a tank and it’s really not helping Jack’s swirling nostalgia.

“Whatever you’ve got out already is fine,” Jack says while moving to take a spot at one of the barstools behind the counter, something about placing the structure between the two of them giving him a greater sense of control over the situation.

Alex turns then, the familiar tea box Jack keeps on his own kitchen counter held in his hand. “Too late,” he smiles softly before turning back to the kettle and mugs. Jack watches as he moves methodically through the actions of preparing the two cups. He feels some tension he hadn’t even noticed lifting off his shoulders when he watches Alex move to the fridge and return with a couple lemon wedges and when he reaches for the bottle of honey in the spice cabinet. Because of course Alex remembers the exact way he takes his tea. He moves through the motions in the same way Jack had the night a soaked Alex had shown up at his door and he had instinctively made tea for the two of them. He feels two parts of his brain battling over the thought of how both of them kept the other’s favorite tea in their pantry, as though always wanting to be ready to welcome the other back into their spaces in a familiar fashion.

“Let me know if you want more honey,” Alex says while pushing the mug across the counter in Jack’s direction, the smile still pulling gently at his lips. Jack lifts the mug to his lips and immediately takes a sip despite knowing it’ll scald his tongue. It doesn’t need more honey because of course it doesn’t.

Jack keeps the mug close to his lips and blows cool air across the surface as he moves to take a seat on the couch.

Alex sits in front of him on the other side of the coffee table, his laptop open to a spreadsheet beside him on the floor and a stack of the mentioned quizzes to be graded sitting on top of the table next to his own mug of tea. This exact setup crashes another similar wave of nostalgia over Jack. It had been a common occurrence for Jack to find himself on Alex’s couch to watch him grade on a Friday or Saturday night last fall after locking up at the bar. Back then he would have traded his work clothes for something comfy from Alex’s closet without thinking twice and he probably would have accepted the offered wine over a tea. It would only have been a matter of time before Jack convinced Alex to ditch his work in favor of making out on the couch until they somehow managed to drag themselves down the hall to the bedroom.

Now the other side of the coffee table feels like a mile away and Jack can’t tell if he wishes the distance were shorter or longer.

The question dancing on the tip of Jack’s tongue jumps out easily once he finally pulls his mind from the memories of how a night like this would have ended what feels like a lifetime ago. “What are we doing?”

Alex punches a number into his keyboard before looking up to meet Jack’s gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Why did you invite me over?”

Alex bites nervously at his bottom lip as his eyes look up to the ceiling. “I figured maybe we could talk? There’s only so much serious conversation that can happen when Lizzie is watching our every move.”

Jack leans forward and sets his mug against the coffee table. He folds his hands together in his lap to avoid reaching out from something else to hold on to. “Why did you end it?” he asks. He can’t help but feel annoyed at how quiet his voice sounds. “Everything was going so good, I still don’t get it.”

“I was afraid,” Alex says after a moment, his head shaking a little. “I felt like if I couldn’t keep pace with you I would just fall behind and then we’d just end up on completely different pages. It felt like I couldn’t see where we were going and I didn’t want to hurt you by questioning it.”

“So ending things altogether seemed like a better option?”

“At the time it felt inevitable. I couldn’t make sense of any other kind of ending and I didn’t want to drag it out. I know it sounds ridiculous in hindsight but that’s where I was.”

Several beats of silence pass between them. Jack runs a hand through his hair as his mind tries to make sense of what he’s being told. Before he can come up with a response, Alex takes a deep breath and speaks again, his tone more careful than before.

“What do you need from me to consider giving us another shot?”

“I need you to be honest with me,” Jack sighs, aware that his voice sounds somewhat defeated. “I need you to tell me if you’re scared, if you want to hit the brake a little. I need you to talk to me about these things instead of running away. I wasn’t going anywhere and I would have been fine to slow down a little bit but I had no way of knowing how you were feeling.”

Alex opens his mouth as though to respond but this time Jack starts speaking again before he gets the chance. “But I also just need a little bit more time. Things were really rough for a while in the winter. You’ve gotta give me a minute to wrap my head around all of this, okay?”

Alex takes a shaky deep breath and nods slowly before picking up his red pen again. “I can do that.”

His eyes fall back to the papers in front of him and the pair of them fall back into as comfortable of a silence as they can manage, the sound of Alex’s pen against paper and his occasional typing echoing between them.

It’s maybe twenty minutes later when Jack finishes the last of his lukewarm tea and a yawn falls from his lips. He looks up when Alex quietly giggles and Jack watches as he tucks the now graded papers into a folder. “I’m going to go put these away but maybe it’s time we call it a night?”

“Think so, yeah.”

Jack watches Alex take his things in the direction of his bedroom and he pulls himself off the couch. He collects their mugs and takes them to the sink, quickly rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher before heading to the entryway.

“You kept the bandana,” Jack states when he hears footsteps approach behind him while he’s pulling on his shoes by the front door, very aware that Alex is still watching his every move.

“What?” Alex asks. Jack finishes with his laces and turns to face him again while leaning against the door, his hand absentmindedly reaching for his keys in the bowl.

“That bandana you gave me so we could match,” Jack explains, his fingers nervously playing with his keychain. He should have just left it, no point in bringing this up now, probably. “In that box you gave the most random shit back to me, even a ripped up picture, which I sort of thought was against your religion or something. But you kept that.”

Alex takes a couple steps toward him and Jack feels his back press further against the door, his body instinctively still trying to put some distance between them. “Honestly, it’s probably still in my car. I think I got so used to seeing it in there, I forgot it didn’t technically belong to me anymore.”

“But you remembered the pack of gum definitely wasn’t yours?” Jack says, his voice just barely teasing.

“I think it’s been well established I wasn’t in the best state of mind at that point,” Alex says with a sad smile pulling at one corner of his mouth. He looks down at the ground and sighs. “Do you want it back?”

Jack shakes his head with a short laugh. “No, don’t worry about it. I was just always curious about that. It’s okay.”

He watches Alex nod and play with the hem of his shirt. Jack reaches for his jacket and pulls it on before turning to unlock the door. “I’ll see you around soon, Alex.”

“G’night, Jack. Drive safe.”

Alex is sitting cross-legged on Jack's desk, waiting for Jack to get back from whatever meeting he was at. He hadn't told him there even was a meeting, but he’d had no reason to. Alex showing up at the bar is still new and sporadic enough that Jack shouldn't be able to predict his moves, and maybe that's how Alex likes it for now, even if it has left him a little bored. He'd walked in to see a party happening, and if Lizzie hadn't been behind the bar he's sure he would have been sent home. The place is currently being taken over by people in formal outfits for some kind of private event. There wasn't a sign anywhere saying what the occasion was. Lizzie had made him a vodka soda on the house and sent him into Jack's office to wait for him, saying he should be back in around fifteen minutes. That had been fifteen minutes ago.

He had started on Jack's spinny chair, and then he'd almost knocked a decorative glass bottle off a shelf by accidentally spinning into it. Therefore: on the desk. He's entertaining himself on his phone for the most part, even though school has left him a little stressed and he would love to be at home unwinding somewhere he can stretch out. The floor is starting to look inviting. He also has a quiz to write for next week, and since summer school moves faster than the regular semester he can't just reuse an old quiz. It shouldn't take that much effort, and yet he's been splitting his attention between his phone and a little dinosaur planter sitting on the shelf that isn't the one he almost knocked over.

Alex hadn’t known what to expect from the moment they’d pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall. The only place here that had made an ounce of sense for a date had felt like the pizza place at the end of the strip, but they were parked far enough away that that felt improbable. He got out of the car slowly as Jack grabbed something from the back seat that turned out to be wine. The sign on the window said BYOB so at least one of them was prepared. Alex looked up. The Clayhouse. He wouldn’t have guessed Jack was this artsy, but he wasn’t about to turn down an afternoon with Jack and a bottle of red.

“A dinosaur?” Jack asked, laughter playing in his voice even if he wasn't laughing out loud. “Are you five years old?”

“I think he's cute.” Alex hadn't been set on that specific planter, but if Jack was making a big deal out of it, it had to be that one. Looking over the ones nearby – a hedgehog, a llama, a turtle – the dinosaur was the only one that made sense. All the other pottery options were very... grown up. There were some beautiful examples of artistically painted plates and bowls around the front desk, but he knew his skill level and it was not that. Jack had picked a bowl though, and Alex was intrigued by how that would turn out, especially after they uncorked their wine.

Messy, was the answer.

“Don't laugh at me!” Jack said, wiping blue paint off his arms from tipping over his whole tray of paints onto the table. In his meticulous painting of his dinosaur's eyes and smile, Alex had missed the process, but somehow blue was the only color that got on Jack. The rest of the colors – and there were many colors – were slowly spreading across the table. Alex kept laughing as he got up to grab more paper towels before the paint creeped close enough to the edge of the table to drip off.

“I'm not,” Alex said, though he was biting back more laughter behind his grin. He wiped up the majority of the paint. The rest of it looked like it would stay on the table.

Jack sighed. “Did I get it all?” he asked, twisting his arms around.

Alex tilted his head. “There's still blue up there, behind your elbow.” He watched for a moment as Jack tried to wipe it off, but he must not have been able to see it because he managed to swipe at every bit of his upper arm except that one spot. “Let me get it.” Jack stilled the second Alex grabbed his arm. Alex got the paint off and then suddenly noticed how close their faces were, the way as soon as he looked at Jack's eyes he almost forgot to breathe, how he could smell the wine on Jack's breath, not to mention he was still holding Jack's arm.

“Is it gone?” Jack asked sort of quietly.

Alex glanced down and back up, taking a small step backwards but not letting go. “Um, yeah, you're not blue anymore.”

Jack lowered his arm out of Alex's grip. “Thanks.”

Alex cleared his throat. “What happened?”

Jack shook his head. “I almost dipped my brush in my drink, and then went to dip it in the water and almost knocked that over, and then knocked the paint over instead.”

“You've had one glass, how are you that clumsy? Or is that your natural state? I'm learning so much about you.” Alex grinned as Jack looked increasingly embarrassed.

“I'm not that much of a lightweight, give me some credit.”

“So you're just uncoordinated?”

“You tell me.” Jack gestured to the bowl in front of him. It was painted in uneven stripes going all around it, with a yellow splatter on one side where the spilled paint had hit it. The inside was still a blank canvas.

“That doesn't make you uncoordinated,” Alex said. “That just makes you bad at painting.” He watched Jack's face as he looked from the bowl to the half-painted dinosaur. “You know, I don't really understand your date logic. Why this? Because if you're trying to impress me with your painting skills...”

Jack laughed and picked up his drink. “No, my painting skills are not impressive. But movie dates are boring early on and I don't know what food you like yet so I didn't want to take you to dinner.”

“All true.” Alex picked up his glass too, sipping his drink at the same time as Jack. “You know what I am impressed by? This wine.”

Jack's smile grew.

“You brought me here to show off your taste in wine?”

“Well you've seen the bar and I didn't want to invite you over to my place on a second date to look like I'm trying to get you drunk—”

“For the record, I'd be okay with that.” Alex peered at Jack over the rim of his glass.

Jack looked at him curiously before continuing. “I drive past this place all the time when I go to get brunch with my friends, that’s how I knew about it. And it gives us something to do while we talk.”

“You really thought this through.”

“Some would say I thought about it too much.”

“Are ‘some’ your brunch friends? Fuck them. This place is fun, they’re missing out.”

Jack had stopped after one glass, not that Alex had noticed, so they took the rest of the bottle home along with their painted creations. Alex had them cradled carefully in his lap in the car so they wouldn’t fall and break. To his surprise, Jack didn’t drop Alex off but drove them to his own house where the bottle was reopened, and he asked Alex if there were any foods he didn’t like before ordering Italian. Over pasta and garlic bread, they agreed that Jack would keep the dinosaur and Alex would take the bowl with him. Alex took the bowl and as many wine-tinted kisses as he could before he got a ride home. The bowl had ended up on the table just inside his door where he usually tossed his keys and wallet. He’d never thought that table needed anything, but somehow Jack had filled in a gap he hadn’t been aware of. He did that more often than Alex had realized at the time, which explained the way he’d felt like his world was falling apart at the seams as soon as Jack wasn’t there holding it together. There was no reason for Alex to stick around, but there was nothing else he wanted to look for anymore.

The office door swings open and Alex’s attention is finally pulled from the dinosaur. The leafy plant growing out of it is nice and green, and bigger than Alex remembers it.

“Hey,” Jack says, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Alex shrugs. “Wanted to hang out, but there was a party so Lizzie put me in here. She didn’t tell you I was here?”

“She was busy with the party. Why are you sitting on the desk and not the chair?”

“I almost knocked stuff over, but everything is fine.”

Jack looks around the room, probably making sure everything really is fine. “Well I wasn’t planning on staying long since Lizzie has the party under control. What were you staring at? You look… dazed.”

“Just… thinking about the dinosaur.”

Jack nods slowly. There’s not much else to say about that. And if Jack is going home soon, Alex doesn’t want to invite himself along, and he’s in no position to try and keep Jack here no matter how much he wants to break through whatever walls Jack still has up. He knows better than to try to rush it. He just has to keep asking for bricks until there are none left between them. “Rian didn’t know it was from you, or he would have sent it back with the rest of your stuff he pulled out of my closet.” He doesn’t ask Alex to move from his desk so Alex decides to stay until Jack leaves, or asks him to.

Alex thinks briefly about the box that had been left on his porch the day after he’d sent some random assortment of Jack’s things back to him. There was no reason for him to have been so cruel in hindsight, considering most of his memory ties to Jack were and still are stacked in a box that he’d almost sharpied a label onto, but he hadn’t known what to call it. There hadn’t been a way to make the breakup seem more official, he’d thought, than giving Jack back his things. Rian had returned masses more, answering Alex’s unasked question of where half his wardrobe had disappeared to.

He fiddles with his phone in his hands as he watches Jack put away papers and whatnot from his meeting. “You wouldn't believe how close I came to calling you on your birthday.”

Jack looks at Alex like he's speaking nonsense.

“Still birth-month though. Little late for birth-week.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I—” Alex almost spills that he turned his phone off the whole day so he wouldn't be tempted. “I didn't know if you'd want to hear from me, especially on your birthday. And I was scared. That if I called and you ignored me that I'd just never try again.”

“You don't have a very clear idea of the way you left me,” Jack says matter-of-factly.

“I mean, you took down the pictures on your mirror so I'm starting to get an idea.”

“Actually I burned them.”

If Alex's mind was a car on a track, that car just hit the brakes hard. “Oh.” He's emptied of words to say, as if he wasn't already reaching for small talk. He's never known conversation with Jack to be so stilted; from their first exchange it had been nothing but flowing back-and-forth which led easily to open heart-to-hearts. He's also never known Jack to get rid of mementos. He wasn't as bad as Alex, who still holds onto receipts from places he goes that mean anything to him, but those weren't just pieces of paper. They were gifts. Which means either Jack had no idea what it meant for Alex to give them to him at all, or… “I never meant for those to end up being painful. I know that's not fair, and don't get me wrong I know I have no right to feel anything about it, but I- I'm sorry.”

“In my defense, I didn't think we'd be back here.” Jack has a smile playing around his lips, and Alex feels better knowing he isn't making him feel guilty about it. Alex can't imagine how bad it must have felt for Jack to end up burning those pictures. He hadn't assumed the breakup was easy on either of them, but walking away from Jack always felt like the worst decision he'd ever made from the second he did it. It felt like the biggest injustice to think that Jack had felt anywhere near as bad as he had, or worse. “I’m gonna head out.” Jack pushes the drawer shut.

Something is falling just out of reach and Alex doesn’t know what it is but he knows he can’t let it go now. He swings his legs over the edge of the desk. “Happy birth-month.” Tries for a hopeful smile. "Thirty-three looks good on you."

Jack quirks an eyebrow, one hand on the doorknob, like he’s not sure where this is going. Fuck if Alex knows either. “Thanks.”

Alex wishes he knew how to handle being in the same space as Jack again. He wants to tear through the awkwardness by saying he owes Jack a present and then kissing him like they’d never missed a beat. “I’ll walk you out.”

“It’s my bar.”

“And I’m being a gentleman and walking you out.” Alex hops off the desk and waits for Jack to open the door. Jack gives him an extended look of confusion before pulling the door open. Once it’s locked, they wave goodbye to Lizzie, who’s still on the floor with the party guests.

Outside, Alex realizes he doesn’t have his car since he’d showed up planning on staying long enough to have a few drinks. He follows Jack to his car, trying to figure out whether Jack will offer to drive him home or if he should inconspicuously try to call a ride. Jack answers his question when he already has his door open before asking, “Are you getting in?”

“Are you offering me a ride?”

“That or I’m kidnapping you in broad daylight.”

“I guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Alex was sitting at the bar, swinging his legs back and forth to the music. It was considerably louder than it had been when there were customers, but Jack had locked the front door and told him to stay put so he could finish cleaning up. The nights when he had to lock up alone were rare, but Alex never minded staying longer. If he was more sober he might have been helping. But Jack had assured him that the best thing for him to do was not try and help, which was fair enough after the glass incident last time. Alex maintained that it wasn’t a big deal and no one was injured but Jack seemed to remember it differently.

So he was controlling the playlist, and as soon as the freshly mopped floor was dry he was up and dancing to the pop music he’d chosen. Jack kept looking up from cleaning and restocking under the bar and whatever else he was doing to give him very endeared looks, but it wasn’t as sweet as it ideally could have been.

“Come dance with me,” Alex said, leaning on the bar and giving Jack his best pout.

“I’m almost done and then we can go home and dance.”

“You’re boring at work, you know that?” Alex bounced his head to the beat and watched Jack roll his eyes fondly.

“You’re literally a history teacher. You wouldn’t dance at work.”

“Lucky you can’t visit me at work and prove it.” Alex started singing along with the chorus, hitting the harmony as he got back into dancing. Jack was still watching him with a smile, so Alex, still singing, went behind the bar and grabbed his hands.

“What are you doing?” Jack laughed. Alex didn’t stop singing. He swung their arms in a motion as close to dancing as he can manage without Jack’s participation. “I only have a couple more things to do and we can lock up.” Jack’s logic was taking them nowhere, so he gave in and let Alex dance him around for the rest of the song. Alex didn’t know how he did it, but right as the song ended Jack got him back into his seat, letting go of his hands and kissing his forehead before he went back to work.

Alex sat there and let himself just watch Jack work through cleaning the soda guns like it was all routine, and it was, and he’d been given a nice little spot in this world Jack had built for himself and cared about so much. He sighed a little, coming down from the burst of dancing energy. He reached over to grab his camera and snapped a picture. Jack didn’t even look up at the flash anymore, but he smiled to himself as Alex waited for the picture to print. He held it close as the colors set in. The bar was dark but Jack lit up the photo as much as he lit up the room. The music cut off suddenly and Alex looked up.

“Told you I was almost done,” Jack said, pulling his office door closed. He pulled on his coat and waited for Alex to do the same.

“You could have let the song finish.”

“I thought you were in a hurry to leave?”

“I was in a hurry to spend more time with you. We can do that here.”

Jack grabbed Alex’s coat and put it around his shoulders. “Or we can go home where it’s warmer.” He handed Alex his camera. “And there’s more room for dancing.”

Alex looks down at the box. He’s put a lid on it, but it doesn’t stop the feeling of homesickness overflowing from it. It’s sitting at the base of his throat like a cry that refuses to come out. It’s his own fault and he knows it. He knows the way he felt that night could have stretched out forever, and that’s almost worse than knowing their relationship might have had an expiration date. He can only reason so much that it was for the best, but if that was true he wouldn’t feel so broken. He wouldn’t feel like separating Jack from the rest of his memories was the same as trying to surgically remove him from his life. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jack hated him now.

He opens the box without looking into it and pulls out the very last photo. It’s all he can do not to look at Jack’s smiling face before he tears it in two, and then tears those halves into even smaller pieces until he’s left with the saddest pile of confetti to ever exist.

There was no good reason for the twinge of nerves he felt in his stomach when Jack had whispered that he hoped the new year was the start of forever for them. He knew they’d only been together for five months, and he knew with nearly as much certainty that Jack knew that too. He also knew he loved Jack more than he’d loved probably anyone ever, so why did Jack cementing that make him so uneasy? It was uncomfortably similar to the way he’d felt a few weeks ago when Jack had met his parents at his birthday, the way he’d fit in so seamlessly without Alex having to so much as facilitate an awkward conversation between the four of them. He��d told himself then not to follow that feeling, because there was no way it would lead anywhere good. He wasn’t sober enough to be second guessing himself now, but he also usually tried not to let himself dwell on the feeling so maybe now was the time.

Jack had given an enthusiastic and mostly comprehensible toast right before midnight. They all counted down and then right before kissing him, Jack had leaned over like he was telling him a secret. Alex’s nerves had been doing little circus tricks ever since. Luckily Alex wasn’t nearly the furthest gone, and then Jack was playfully yelling at Rian to get his dirty shoes off his bar. Rian complied by kicking off his shoes in two different directions, and then he pulled Jack up with him. Jack didn’t bother taking his shoes off. Rian gave another shout for a happy new year and everyone else cheered in return as he smacked a kiss on Jack’s lips. Jack shoved him away. They were both laughing.

“You okay?” Lizzie asked, appearing next to Alex. “Don’t go getting jealous or anything, they’re always like that.”

“No, I know,” Alex said. He took a sip of his drink, eyes still on Jack.

“I know the whole cliché about bartenders being therapists is fake but I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Alex considered it. The last thing he needed was to pull one of Jack’s employees into the middle of whatever storm was brewing in his mind. Not to mention, it wasn’t her responsibility to reassure him about anything. If he was so concerned, he could have a mature conversation with Jack later when they were alone. He looked over at her and she raised her eyebrows expectantly, bringing her straw up to her mouth. “It’s nothing,” he said finally. “Late night for someone who’s used to getting up at six for school.”

She didn’t seem convinced but thankfully didn’t press him on it.

Later showed up sooner than Alex expected, when Jack pulled him into his office and shut the door. He was almost expecting to be shoved against the door, but Jack just wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck and hung off of him. Alex laughed a little even though he was getting slightly more nervous by the second just thinking about bringing up anything. Jack started pressing kisses up his chest to his neck and Alex decided that it was not the time for talking about anything serious.

“Thanks for not abandoning me to deal with my drunk ass employees all by myself,” Jack said when his wandering lips reached Alex’s ear.

“How was I supposed to kiss you at midnight if we went to different parties?” Alex joked. The music was still loud through the door, and he could have sworn it was getting louder.

“You didn’t save me from a kiss from Rian though.”

“No one told you to climb on the bar.”

“You didn’t stop me.”

“Like I could have stopped you.”

“Fair enough.” Jack kissed the spot right behind Alex’s ear.

“Jack—”

“I really love you, you know that?”

Any doubts on the tip of his tongue ran straight back inside. “I love you too,” he said easily. With the way he could feel himself overthinking everything else, he was glad there was at least one thing about them that’s solid. He couldn’t talk himself out of loving Jack, even if everything about them staying together scared him more than he’s willing to admit.

Alex went home the next day with two different pictures of the night. One was a group shot of everyone in their glittery party regalia that nearly everyone there took a photo of on their phones to post online later, and the second was from after they’d stumbled back to Jack’s house. They were lying in Jack’s bed, and Jack looked like a hangover waiting to happen, but Alex managed to keep their eyes open long enough for him to snap a picture of them cuddled together, Jack’s face half buried in Alex’s shoulder. He hadn’t waited to look at the photo before turning the lights out and falling asleep right there with Jack’s arm across his chest. The next morning, the photo was on the bedside table right beside his camera, kicking that cloyingly familiar twist back into his stomach.

Jack was still asleep when he tucked the photo into his jacket pocket so he wouldn’t forget to take it home with him. Alex had almost wanted to run out right there, but Jack deserved better than that. So they woke up and Alex pretended everything was fine as they went through the motions of breakfast, albeit much slower than usual. Jack had to go back to the bar that afternoon to look over the disaster zone they’d left behind, and Alex frankly needed more time to nurse his hangover, so they’d parted ways at Jack’s front door. He was bemoaning his headache at home over greasy fast food when he reached into his pocket and really looked at the picture for the first time. He couldn’t describe the feeling that washed over him. It was almost regret, except he knew that it wasn’t Jack he was regretting. It was just the feeling that now’s his chance to turn back.

Alex has always been able to make do with a general idea of when things happened in his life. It’s the reason he’s never bothered with labelling the boxes that he puts all his polaroids in. It usually doesn’t line up as one box per year, or one stack per month, or any other significant measure of time. Every now and then there will be a photo from a birthday or other event that works as a marker for the passage of time. Nothing has ever felt important enough to keep close track of. He’s never been part of anything world-changing or even life-changing that felt like it needed a date written on it to remember it happened. That is, until Jack.

He hasn’t been writing dates on all his pictures with Jack, but as soon as he’s gone two weeks without seeing him, knowing that he’s going out of his way to avoid seeing him again, it’s making him think maybe it’s time to start sorting his photos a little better. As soon as he’s home from grocery shopping, he drops the bags on the kitchen counter and goes straight to his bedroom closet. He pulls out the most recent box and knows just based on the pictures at the top of each little stack which ones were taken after he met Jack. He pulls them all out and sets them on his dresser until he finds an empty box to put them all into. They have to be separate. It gnaws at him that it feels more like a gesture of Before and After than just trying to isolate one person from his memories, as if it’ll help him forget and move on.

He does his best not to dwell on any particular pictures as he moves them around, but glimpses of moments flash before his eyes before he can stop them. Pictures of dates, of wine-drunk after-midnights, and more than he would care to admit of Jack only seconds before a flash went off to make him aware of Alex taking the picture. The one on top of the last stack isn’t the most recent picture, but it might as well be the last good one. It’s the last one he can remember taking before the feeling of being pulled too tight started being a constant in his life. He’s considered that he could have just talked to Jack about it, but there’s only so much Jack could have said or done to help. If Jack had held him tighter, he would have felt more constricted, and if Jack had given him space, they would have ended up exactly where they are now, as far apart as they can be without one of them leaving town.

Jack’s friends were still a few minutes away when Alex asked their server for four mimosas since he could practically feel Jack’s nerves from where he sat beside him. Alex sighed a gentle laugh and placed a hand on Jack’s bouncing knee as his head dropped to rest on Jack’s shoulder. “You good, babe?”

“Great, yeah,” Jack responded, though it sounded like he was further away than right beside Alex in the booth they were seated at just a few minutes earlier. He glanced around the restaurant, his eyes moving across everything in the room aside from Alex. His face scrunched up some as though he were trying to study the vintage posters and signs on the walls. All Alex could do was laugh.

“Oh my god, you’re nervous about introducing your friends to the boyfriend,” he laughed, his tone gentle but teasing. He lifted his head and sat up while he turned in his seat to face him better. Jack bit his bottom lip against the small smile that pulled at his lips as he looked down at his lap, a bright blush painting it’s way across his cheeks. Whether it was from being called out on the cause of his nerves or Alex’s use of a title that had only been established a few days earlier, he couldn’t tell.

“You’re the first guy I’ve ever brought to Sunday brunch, okay?” he mumbled, his right hand moving to cover Alex’s still placed comfortingly on his knee. Alex caught on easily and turned his hand to tangle their fingers together before letting their joined hands rest against Jack’s thigh. “This is a very sacred tradition. We’ve been doing it since college. It’s a big deal that they suggested you come along.”

Alex smiled and squeezed their palms together. “Then I’m honored,” he said before leaning over to press a kiss against the corner of Jack’s lips. “Now relax. This’ll be good practice for meeting the parents.”

Jack sat up then and laughed. “Meeting the parents will be a breeze. My mom is probably already picking out color palettes for the rehearsal dinner.”

Alex mentally brushed away the spiral his mind started to form at the mention of a wedding in any form and winked at Jack. “I can practically hear my mother arguing with florists.”

Jack’s face lit up with another bright laugh and then mimosas were being placed in front of them and thoughts of a future beyond the meal they’re about to have were forgotten. They had each only just taken their first sip when Rian and Zack stepped up to the table. Alex stood and extended a hand out to Zack. “Hey man, nice to meet you, I’m Alex.”

Zack returned the handshake and smiled. “Same to you, I’m Zack.”

“And good to see you, Rian,” Alex said with a grin as they all moved to sit.

“Wait, you guys know each other already?” Jack asked while gesturing between Rian and Alex. Alex couldn’t help but giggle as Rian rolled his eyes.

“Jack, we literally work in the same place,” he started before pausing to take a sip from his drink. “And he is sitting at the bar making tequila heart eyes at you like, at least two nights a week. You really thought I would never introduce myself to someone my friend was obviously dating?”

Jack blushed again before grumbling a quiet fair enough into his mimosa. Alex chuckled and turned to press his lips against Jack’s shoulder. “Don’t worry,” Alex said. “I wasn’t too drunk the night he decided to say hello. And Lizzie had my back to let him know that I don’t suck.”

Their server arrived at their table then to get everyone’s order (though really just Alex’s since the other three were there enough that they greeted the blushing teenage girl by name as she walked up with a pen and pad ready). The conversation flowed easily among them. Jack and Rian bounced off of each other as they told funny stories from things at the bar that week while Zack talked about the people he saw pass through the ER the night before which prompted Alex to ask a dozen or so questions about nursing (listen it’s never too late for a career change, guys, I’m curious). When prompted, Alex groaned briefly about grading essays and exams. Fall break was about to end for the kids so he hadn’t seen much of the world beyond his apartment walls while grading midterms for the last week.

As they started sipping on their second round of mimosas, Alex noticed Jack relax beside him and smiled when an arm was thrown around his waist and Jack’s head settled against his shoulder. He felt like he might actually fit in with Jack's friends, all of them still laughing easily over their drinks, until Rian turned to him.

“So what are your intentions with Jack?”

“Uh,” Alex said, feeling like he was getting too much attention all of a sudden.

Jack groaned and rolled his eyes. “We're gonna get married and have fifteen kids, is that what you want to hear?” He looked up at Alex through his lashes. “Ignore him.”

“Good,” Rian said. “I've always wanted to be an uncle.”

“We’ll try not to disappoint you on that then,” Alex replied, the smooth nature of his words influenced by the floatiness he felt from the drinks. “We’re having fun right now. That’s what’s most important.”

“Happy for you two,” Zack smiled at the pair of them. “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen this one so happy with someone.”

“Hush, you guys are worse than when my mom calls,” Jack groaned, though his appreciation at their comments didn’t go unnoticed by Alex. He sat up then, his arm still secured around Alex’s waist as he lifted his other arm to get the attention of their server. “Are we still watching the game at my place after this?”

Alex hadn’t considered when he started weaving his days with Jack’s life that it would be hard to pull the threads apart. If he’d let himself think about them beyond the next date, he’s sure there wouldn’t have been so much to untangle. Because there wouldn’t have been more than one date to speak of.

But he’d stopped counting dates, stopped counting days and weeks, and the only reason he could keep track of time with Jack at all was through school deadlines and holidays. He’d cleared photos off his dresser more often than usual, and every time he gave Jack a photo to keep, it felt like an accomplishment. He’d finally found someone who understood his weird mnemonic device despite having a pretty good memory – he does teach history after all. Jack hadn’t made a big deal of it so Alex hadn’t either, but Alex knows one of the photos lives – lived – in Jack’s wallet. The rest of them had started to frame the mirror in Jack’s bedroom. It was cute in the same way as Jack’s bartenders knowing his drink order based on the day of the week.

It’s a Saturday, and if Jack hasn’t changed his work schedule, Jack should not be at the bar that night unless there’s a special event, which there doesn’t seem to be based on the noise. Alex is not planning on drinking, and if he so much as sees Jack’s shadow he is getting right back into his car and driving in whichever direction he sees first. Jack had “promoted” Rian to weekend manager back near the end of fall, when he figured out it would line their free time up more without having to take time off sporadically. Alex hopes he hasn’t redone his schedule since.

He walks into the bar and it looks startlingly familiar. He doesn’t know why he felt like it would look different, but the tables and barstools are all exactly where they’ve always been. The only thing that’s different is Rian staring at him blankly, which is less terrifying than if he was glaring, and then Zack on the other side of the bar, jaw hanging open like the two of them were in the middle of a conversation.

Alex feels like he’s being pinned down by their eyes on him so he takes a step forward so he’s out of the doorway. He knows this isn’t a bad idea, and that as much as Jack’s friends are protective of him they’ve never been mean to Alex so at the very least anything they do to him will be justified. The thought is almost scarier than Rian’s stare. Alex takes a quick look around, mostly checking to make sure the lights are off in Jack’s office.

“He’s not here,” Rian says. Alex relaxes a little, which takes Rian from emotionless to confused. “Can I get you something?”

“Preferably to-go?” Zack says under his breath, and Rian pretends not to laugh.

“No, I… no.”

“Okay?” Rian says slowly. He keeps watching Alex. It’s unsettling. Alex feels like he should say something, but there’s no precedent for what to say to your ex’s best friends when you walk into their space unannounced less than a week after showing up on said ex’s doorstep in a thunderstorm. Alex doesn’t know if they even know about that, although it’s a safe bet that they do.

“You wanna sit down?” Zack says after an awkward amount of time. Rian gives him a look and Zack shrugs like he couldn’t think of anything better to say.

Alex walks up to the bar slowly and sits down, leaving a seat empty between himself and Zack.

Rian leans against the bar and fully stares Alex down. “What are you doing here?”

“Maybe I missed you,” Alex says, faking a smile. It works a little, because Rian snorts a laugh.

“We heard about your little car mishap last week,” Rian says.

“Yeah, bad timing.”

“Must’ve been, for you to go to Jack’s house instead of waiting in your car for a tow truck like a normal person. Don’t say you happened to be close by, you live halfway across town. What are you doing?” Alex feels like he should clarify that it had only been drizzling when he’d gotten out of his car, but that’s not the point he’s supposed to be making. “And don’t say you missed him. That’s not on him.”

Alex wishes he had a drink as an excuse to not talk, but instead they’re both still staring at him, waiting for him to answer. “I made a mistake.”

Zack frowns slightly. “Which was?”

“Breaking up with him.”

Zack and Rian exchange a look. “That doesn’t explain why you’re here,” Rian pushes.

“I want to apologize. To Jack. And to you for asking for your advice on how to get him back.”

Zack laughs. “You want us to give you advice?”

Rian shakes his head. “You didn’t ask for our input before breaking his heart, what’s different now?” There’s that question again. “If we told you to go back to his front door with a diamond ring, would you do it?”

“No, but only because I know it wouldn’t work.”

“Sounds like you don’t need our advice,” Zack says.

“I’m not going to go behind his back and tell you anything you don’t already know,” Rian says. “But he told you he hasn’t decided yet. Start there.”

He has no more answers than he arrived with, but it’s a good sign that Rian didn’t throw him out on sight, or that Zack didn’t physically throw him out as Alex knows he is fully capable of doing.

“You’re right, Jack’s more a flash mob guy than a diamond ring anyway,” Zack says. “He likes music more than shiny things.”

“Yeah, a flash mob or one of those planes that writes things in the sky?”

“Write him a song.”

“Buy him a new car.”

“What about a hot air balloon ride?”

Alex nods and stands up. “Nice to know I’m not rich enough to date either of you.”

“In your dreams,” Rian says.

Alex catches them exchanging another look as he turns to leave, and maybe he’s just hopeful but it looks a lot less unfriendly.

Jack knew he wasn’t going to get any more work done as soon as Alex walked in. He’d made a valiant effort for almost five minutes, but he could see Alex through his little window getting more and more antsy. He’d let Alex have a few drinks, and then let Alex’s fingers dance across his legs as he tried harder and harder to remember he was still at work, even if he clearly wasn’t working. His bartender, bless her, who also happened to be the manager that night, was doing her best to pretend she wasn’t eavesdropping even though she definitely was.

Eventually, Alex brought up that he couldn’t drive back home, and Jack took the opportunity to offer to drive him, which was why he was standing outside with Alex all but hanging off him as he patted down his pockets and realized his keys must still be in his office. Alex pouted when Jack told him to wait a minute, but he wasn’t driving without keys and Alex isn’t driving at all so he didn’t have much of a choice.

He hurriedly grabbed his keys off his desk and locked his office door behind him. He was about to let Lizzie know she needed to lock up when she leaves but she was one step ahead.

“So boss, you got a crush?” Lizzie raised her eyebrows and shot a look toward the door. “Who’s the guy?”

She’d been listening to them flirt all night, but Jack could feel his face getting warmer anyway. “Can I get away with playing dumb?”

“Try me.”

“What guy?”

“Not that dumb.”

Jack laughed nervously. “He came in a couple weeks ago when you were out sick.”

“Oh nice, I did you a favor then. Can I say you owe me one?”

“I think I did you a favor by providing entertainment for half your shift.”

She smiled and shook her head. “He’s cute. Touchy drunk though. I wonder what tequila would do to him instead of whiskey.”

“Goodnight,” Jack said pointedly as he left.

As soon as he was out the door, Alex was back at his side.

Jack is more familiar than he should be with this situation. Lizzie still seems to think they’re cute and that Alex looks like he’s trying, but Rian keeps telling him to be careful, and it’s not helpful that Zack is trying to be impartial but is clearly also on Rian’s side. He can’t blame them for it. They saw him at his worst just as much as he did. Almost.

Alex closes his door and looks over at Jack as he puts the car in reverse. “You don’t have to keep driving me home. Not that I don’t want you to, but you don’t have to keep going out of your way if you don’t want to.”

“I’d call you an Uber myself if I hated driving you home,” Jack says. It’s somewhat of a bar rule so that everyone leaves safely, but Alex would have ended up being the exception even if it wasn’t a standard. Besides, over the last couple weeks every time Alex has come in he’s let his walls down just a little more, as if Jack isn’t the only one getting used to the idea of them spending time together again.

Alex smiles a little as they pull out of the parking lot. They let the music fill the space for most of the drive until they get to the last light before Alex gets out. “I can tell you what’s different this time,” Alex says. Cars are driving across the intersection, heading a lot more places than anyone would expect this late at night. Jack isn’t watching the cars as much as watching the lights reflect off them as they pass. He turns a little toward Alex to show he’s listening. “My therapist says I need to stop trying to control how things are going to turn out because it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen all the time, and worrying about it is only going to make me too stressed to pay attention to things in real time. That I can’t stop caring just because it might not last forever. And then my mom told me I was stupid to let you go just because I was scared.”

Jack doesn’t realize the light has turned green until the car behind him honks. He swears he’s a better driver when Alex isn’t sitting beside him being distracting. He doesn’t know what to respond to first, but he takes the easy bait. “Your mom was right.”

“She was. They both were.” Alex pauses as Jack pulls up to the curb. “I don’t know why my reaction to being scared to lose you was to break up with you but I won’t do it again. If, you know. But I have to know, can you give us another chance? I know you said you needed time, but—”

“Okay.” Jack says it before he can stop himself but he doesn’t want to take it back. Alex snaps his head up to look at him. It’s not like Jack hasn’t been on the verge of giving him a second chance for weeks, but it does feel different all of a sudden, fuck what Rian thinks. It doesn’t feel like falling, it almost feels like butterflies.

“Really?” Alex says, expression caught between disbelief and almost too hopeful. Jack knows the feeling.

Jack nods and feels his growing smile mirroring Alex’s in the orange of the street lights.

“Are we starting over?”

“I don’t think we have to start over, just…”

“Slower?”

If they’re already back to finishing each other’s sentences, then slower is going to take a while for them to figure out.

“So you still have Sundays off? How about dinner?”

“Don’t you have school on Monday?”

“Why do you make it sound like I’m a student?” Alex asks childishly. “It gives us a reason to have an early night. A cutoff point.”

“Your bedtime.”

“A boundary. For starting slower.” Alex smiles.

Jack isn’t surprised by how thoughtful Alex is being without really having a conversation about it, but it’s reassuring to feel like he’s not starting another series of mistakes. “Are you cooking?”

“Only if you bring the wine.”

“Oh I see, you’re just using me for my connections.”

“Always have been,” Alex says, laughing when Jack does. He pushes his door open and then pauses and turns around. Leaning over the center console, he kisses Jack on the cheek, barely catching the corner of his mouth. He leans back, blushing slightly, but Jack reaches out and pulls him back in for a real kiss. It’s not exactly moving slow for them to be kissing like this before their first date, but Jack couldn’t care less with how much he’s missed Alex.

Alex pulls back to catch his breath and lets out a shaky laugh. “Is that a preview of Sunday?”

“If you’re lucky,” Jack says. Alex leans in for one last kiss, quick and sweet, before getting out of the car. “I’ll see you then.”

“If you’re lucky,” Alex repeats with a smile.

Alex is dancing around the kitchen in an apron, using a spatula in the place of a microphone, when Jack arrives on Sunday night.

He’s let himself up per Alex’s request with a bottle of wine and a bouquet of peonies. He leans against the counter and listens to Alex sing along to some pop song he likely learned from his students. He probably could have gone on watching for longer but then the song changes and Alex’s hilarious dance moves with it and Jack can’t help but laugh. Alex spins around then, his cheeks a bright red and his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“Enjoying the show?” Alex asks, his sarcasm flowing, as he drops a hand to his hip and points his spatula microphone in Jack’s direction.

“Excellent dinner entertainment,” Jack says with a smile. “Ten out of ten.”

“You’re a brat.”

Jack laughs brightly. “Yes, but I am a brat with the wine,” he says, and points in the direction of the drawer beside the sink. “You still keep your corkscrew in the same place?”

Alex nods. “Yep, and I’ll grab glasses.”

Jack opens the bottle and pours them each a generous glass of the red he spent far too long deciding on at the liquor store the night before. They catch up on how their weeks have gone since they last saw each other. Jack tells a story about some bachelor party he had to kick out on Friday night while Alex finishes the pasta thing he’s decided on making tonight. Alex talks about the truly ridiculous things he’s read in his student’s essays on World War II.

Their banter and jokes come back without any hesitation and Jack can’t help the smile that’s been spread across his face since walking through the door a couple hours earlier because he forgot how easy it was with Alex. How even on days when all Jack wants to do is be alone and not speak to anyone that never includes the man sitting beside him at the kitchen island because conversation with Alex feels like breathing.

Jack insists on doing the dishes since Alex cooked and Alex only agrees so he can hunt down a vase for the flowers. Jack is just finishing up drying a pan when he feels something get tucked behind his ear. He leaves the towel on the counter and reaches up and feels the petals from one of the flowers beside his eye. He turns to meet Alex’s bright gaze with own questioning one.

“You look pretty,” Alex responds, simply.

Jack leaves the flower tucked behind his ear as he refills their glasses and takes them over to where Alex is sitting on the couch, his body sitting up as he adjusts the placement of the flowers now in a vase on the coffee table.

“Thank you again for these,” Alex says as he leans back and accepts the glass of wine being held toward him. He takes a sip and hums before dropping his head against Jack’s shoulder. “It’s been too long since I had something alive other than myself living in this room.”

“Kill all your succulents, then?” Jack teases.

“Only that one I kept in the corner over there that you always said would die because the light couldn’t reach it,” he gestures toward the empty corner where the spiny succulent used to sit. “The rest I took to my classroom to brighten up that space.”

The conversation shifts then to inquire about the plants Jack keeps at his place (Did the peach tree make it through that frost in April?) and more back and forth about their jobs and activities from the last several months that they hadn’t hit during their exchanges at the bar during the few weeks prior. Eventually the conversation comes to a gentle lull as they lean against one another while sipping at the last of what’s in their glasses.

“Wait!” Alex jumps up suddenly and jogs in the direction of his room. He reemerges only seconds later, before Jack even has time to question his actions. In his hands is the familiar, scratched up instant camera and a permanent marker.

“Okay, now don’t move but smile,” Alex instructs as he hits the power button and brings the camera up to frame the shot. Jack only laughs as he feels a familiar (and god, greatly missed) blush paint across his cheeks as he looks toward the lens and smiles. The flash momentarily has him seeing spots as he hears the picture print while Alex tucks himself back into his side. He throws an arm around Alex’s shoulders, his fingers playing with the collar of the soft t-shirt while they watch it develop.

He looks goofy, as he always does, but happy. So damn happy. He watches Alex turn the picture over and scribble down the date and a small heart. “Since when do you write the date on them?” he asks. He never remembered Alex doing that before and he knows for a fact that all of the ones that got handed off to him don’t have anything added onto them.

“I figure if I label them then it’s less that I have to hope just sticks in my head, ya know?” Alex explains as he turns the picture back to the front, his thumb running up and down the side of the print. Jack watches him place it inside the pocket on his flannel. “I want to be more present. Figure this might help.”

Jack feels his eyes soften as he lets out the last bit of breath he hadn’t even realized he’d still been holding this entire time. He trusted Alex, he trusted that they could make this work again, that they would somehow be able to take things slower this time. But there had been just a sprinkle of worry still left somewhere in his mind about keeping this space-obsessed, dreamer of a man with both feet on the ground and his head below the clouds. And something about this tiny gesture and Alex’s reasoning for it told him all he needed to hear to make that last bit of worry blow away.

He turns to face Alex more fully then and takes in his tired eyes and wine-stained lips. Jack lifts a hand to cup his cheek, his thumb tracing below his eye. “I’m really happy we made it here.”

Alex turns his face to press a kiss against Jack’s palm before looking back to meet his eyes and lean into Jack’s hold. “Me too.”

They spend another moment (or two or three) just sitting together in the middle of a moment that normally would have Jack’s mind racing with anticipation but instead just feels calm in a way he hasn’t experienced since the last time he spent a wine drunk night lounging on Alex’s couch. He’s starting to worry that they’ll fall asleep (and he knows that they’re both a bit too old to be falling asleep on the couch on a school night), when he gets an idea.

He sits up and a sleepy Alex follows the action, his confusion obvious as he blinks his further open. Alex points to the camera on the end table behind Alex. “Hand me that?”

Alex catches on to Jack’s plan and smiles as he reaches for the camera, hitting the power button again before handing it to Jack. He holds the camera out as far as his arm allows and throws his left arm back around Alex’s shoulder to pull him into his side. Alex lets out a gasped laugh as Jack presses his lips against the top of Alex’s cheek, and just barely notices the flash through his squeezed shut eyes. “You’re ridiculous,” Alex continues laughing as he lets himself get pulled impossibly closer to Jack while they watch the photo develop.

It’s a blurry shot since Jack is out of practice on keeping the camera still but the joy is obvious on Alex’s smiling face and even on Jack’s as he smiles into the kiss against Alex’s cheek. Their fingers brush as they both try to reach for the picture but Alex snatches it away while using his free hand to reach for the marker and scribbling a matching caption to the other picture onto the back. He turns back to Jack and holds the print in between them. “You should keep this one.”

Jack smiles wide. “Just like old times, huh?”

Alex’s expression softens for a moment and he reaches a hand up to the back of Jack’s neck as he brings their lips together briefly. Alex pulls away just enough the rest his forehead against Jack’s, and Jack can’t help but notice how for the first time in a long time he’s not swimming in nostalgia or making up a future he’s not even sure exists. Right now he’s just here, with Alex, and that’s all that matters for now.

It’s summed pretty perfectly he thinks when he feels Alex’s laugh against his lips and whispered words. “Maybe like new ones, too.”

#jalex #jalex fic #we did it! we finished a second part for our boys!#fully like twice as long as the first part wowie #god creating this lil universe the last like five months or so has been so much damn fun #says the person who claims to hate world building lmao #hey meghna if ur seeing this ily thank you for letting me cowrite w you ur a genius

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raineydays411 · 3 years

Text

Thanks T

Summary: A dad is supposed to be your rock. Someone you can go to when times are hard. Someone whos supposed to protect you. WHat happens when your dad doesn’t fit the bill, and Tony does?

A/n: Hello yall! So this story hit really close to home for me lmao. It was mentioned that there aren’t any good dad/step dad Tony fics so I hope you like it. Everyone thank @alphaandromedae97 and an anon for this fic.

Hope yall enjoy!

Your life was complicated.

How can it not be when Tony “billionaire playboy” Stark is your step dad.

Yes you read that right, step dad. It’s funny really, turns out he has a thing for waitresses that aren’t interested in him at first. That waitress being your mom.

They met when she was working a shift at the restaurant she works at, and he came in with Avengers. He expected her to fall at their feet like everyone else did, but she just scoffed and asked for their order. Pretty epic.

Then one long montage later, and they ended up getting married. You were happy for your mom, of course. Deep down, Tony is a good man and you knew he’d do anything for your mom. And he’s always been nice to you, making sure you were okay with him proposing and then you moving upstate with him and your mom. He always made sure you felt included, maybe a little too much. He actually took interest in your life, which you’ll always appreciate.

But you were a total daddy's girl by heart. You always felt like you had a close relationship with your biological father. He was a good dad, he took you out to movies, went to recitals, and always made sure to take you to the father-daughter dance your school district put on every year. It was your tradition. But after your parents divorced a few years ago, it seemed like he was getting more and more distant from you. He stopped calling as much, would skip out on your days to visit him and when you did visit, he’d lock himself in his office, claiming he had to finish some paperwork. It broke your heart, knowing that a man you were so close with, seems to be detaching himself from your life. But, in his defence he always managed to take you to the father-daughter dance. He always did. No matter how long the both of you went without seeing each other, no matter how long you haven’t spoken, he always made sure to take you.

That act alone, reassured you that he did still love you. He was just busy. In fact, you were getting ready to go to the final father-daughter dance, as you were going to graduate this year and therefore you would be too old to attend the next year. This year was especially important to you. You wanted this night to be perfect.

And you were positive your father would pull through as he has the past years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were filled with excitement as you tried on multiple different dresses. You always liked this part of getting ready, the dress shopping.

The confidence you feel when you finally found the right dress. The happy feeling you and your mother had, browsing through the dress shop downtown. Tony offered to buy you a custom designer dress, but you couldn’t accept. This was the shop you’ve been going to since you were a little girl, since you went to your very first dance with your dad. Call it nostalgia or tradition, but you couldn’t shop anywhere else.

“ Hey ma! I think I found the one.” You shout from the dressing room, finally finding your dress after hours of searching.

“Come out here and let’s see bug” She replies from where shes seated. You take a deep breath, soothing the wrinkles on the dress and walking outside. Your mother gasps as she see the gown. It was beautiful really. It was a glittery, lilac purple floor length dress with spaghetti straps. And it even had pockets! You were absolutely obsessed. Plus, you could probably use it as a prom dress if you really wanted to.

“Oh baby...you look so beautiful...” You mom says, tearing for the millionth time.

“Ma, are you crying again?!” You laugh, “ Come on, that's the fifth time you’ve cried since we’ve been in the store!”

She laughs with you, sniffling as she wipes her tears,” I’m sorry, but you’re getting so big, it feels like it was only yesterday we were walking in this shop to get your first dress...and now...” She starts to cry again.

You smile softly, understanding what your mom was saying. You were in kindergarten when you first started attending these meetings, now you’re a senior in highschool.

“Alright, no more crying. It’s a happy day for you. Has your father called texted you when he was going to come pick you up?” Your mom asked wiping her tears.

You frown, “ No, I haven;’t hear from him since two weeks ago when he said he wanted to get lunch.”

You can see your mom roll her eyes in the mirror, “ Mom he’s just busy. I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”

“Oh sure, I just hate that he doesn’t answer you fast enough.”

“I know ma, but he has work” You argue, “ He calls when he can, and that's okay.”

Your mom sighs, knowing that you were stubborn when it comes to your father.

“ Well, let’s get this wrapped, Tony wants to get lunch and we need to convince him to get something other than shawarma.”

You roll your eyes, “ God, what’s with that man and shawarma. It’s like his life line or something”

“I know!”

After the two of you buy the dress, you pick up Tony from the HQ. You loved the drive up there,mainly because of the scenery, but also cause you can see Cap running laps outside.

“Hell my love, hey kiddo” Tony greets switching seats with your mom.

‘Hey T” You greet, smiling at the man.

“Did you find the dress?” He asks, driving away from his place of work and to a restaurant.

“Yeah! It’s like the one I told you I wanted. I was surprised it was there to be honest.” You reply, “ Mom practically dehydrated herself shopping though.”

“Oh? How many times did she cry this time? Cause she was crying earlier when she was getting read-- OW! Hey I’m driving” He exclaims as your mom swats his arm.

You giggle at their antics, chest warming with the sight of your mom happy again.

“She cried five times while we were shopping. Five!”

“Five? I didn’t know the human body had that much water.”

The two of you chuckled as your mom made an offended noise.

“I hate that the two of you get on so well.” She pouts, “ And excuse me if I’m a little sad my baby is growing up so fast.”

You tune out the rest of their conversation as your phone buzzes.

Dad

Hey kid, I’m gonna have to meet you at the school tomorrow. I have a meeting that’s gonna run late.

You

Okay daddy, I’ll see you there <3

You frown, your dad always managed to pick you up from the house. He used to take you to eat before the dance. And he always used to take the day off, devoting his time to you.

“ Uh oh, someone's frowning back there.” Tony remarks, “ What’s wrong kiddo, did a character off that show you like die/”

“Uh no, ma do you think you can drop me off at the dance tomorrow? Dad said he has a late meeting and won’t be able to pick me up.”

Your mother makes eye contact with Tony. They both know how your father has been flaking on you and how it breaks your heart that he does. It makes Tony especially mad because it remind him of his childhood. How his father really didn’t pay attention to him unless he was criticizing his life choices.

“ Hey y/n, I can drop you off if you want.” Tony offers, “ I really don’t mind.”

You smile, “Thanks T.”

“No problem kid.”

And with that he pulls into the restaurant parking lot.

As your family is seated, you take a quick look around the restaurant, wanting to see the reactions of the patrons when they realize Tony Stark is in the building. But as you do, you see a man who looks very familiar. But before you can take a closer look your mom interrupts you.

“Y/n, you know it's rude to stare.”

“Oh sorry mom.”

So you take a seat and continue with your meal. You tune out your mother and Tony’s conversation as you can’t take your mind off of that man. You take a quick glance back while your parents discuss the dessert menu.

That’s when you realize that the man was your father!

You stand up from the table and make your way towards the man. Surprised to see him there because as far as you know, he’s supposed to be in a meeting right now.

“Daddy?” You ask cautiously. The man tenses up before turning to you.

“Y/n? Honey what are you doing here?” You notice he doesn’t make an attempt to get up and hug you.

And you also notice the second plate of food across from him and a napkin stained with what looked like lipstick.

“Um, T and Ma wanted to grab dinner.. I thought you were at a meeting?”

“This is a five star restaurant, and you just stopped in?” He asks ignoring your question, “ Of course Stark did..”

You wanted to roll your eyes. Everytime your mother was even close to being happy, your dad always found something wrong with the person she was with. But he seemed to have a strong disliking towards Tony for some reason.

“Um right...So you told me you were in a meeting? That’s why I couldn’t come over after dress shopping?”

“Right! A meeting...I’m currently in right now.” He says quickly looking towards the women's bathroom, “ You should go back to your table hon, my boss is really strict”

“Oh right, sorry” You say dejected, “ I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” your dad says with a soft smile, “ I love you Bug.”

You smile at the nickname your parents gave you, “ I love you too pop.”

And with that you walk off, back to your mother and Tony. You can see they’re trying to hide the fact that they were watching by covering their face with the dessert menus.

“Oh here you are, we got you a tiramisu” Tony says nonchalantly, pushing the dessert towards you.

“Uh huh” You hummed teasingly, “ Dad says hi by the way.”

“ Oh does he now?” You mom said not convinced, “ That’s nice of him.”

You hummed, mouthful of cake signaling that you were done with the conversation. Your family finished up their meals and signaled for the check. As you were walking out the restaurant, you turned to say goodbye to your dad, only to see his “boss” was back from the restroom.

Only this boss was a 5′3, brunette bombshell in a tight red dress and having her neck kissed by the man you call your father.

Your stomach felt sick.

“Oh gross, I really didn’t need to see that.” You mutter catching the attention of Tony who was behind you.

“See what kid?” He asks following your gaze, “Oh. Yikes is that even allowed? I didn’t know your dad was a vampire.”

You snort, “ Oh god T, that's disgusting.”

He just laughs and pats your head, “ Come on, lets go before your mom yells at us.”

You smile, but you wondered why your dad didn’t tell you that he was on a date. Or that he was even seeing someone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts of your fathers secrets where wiped from your brain as you scrambled to get ready for the dance the next day.

Tony surprised you and your mom with a mani-pedi day at 10am and a hair appointment for you at 1pm. After you had to get shoes for your dress at the mall and then be home by 5pm to get your dress and makeup on, take pictures, and then be out the door by 7pm to take pictures with your dad, then finally be at the dance by 8pm when doors open.

The whole day you were messaging your dad about how excited you are, getting similar replays back. He pays for you shoes and complements your hair.

Your heart swells as you think about how hard it was in the beginning of the divorce. But your father always tried his best to spend time with you and made sure you knew he loved you.

It was hard on you at first, but you appreciate that he tried for you. The fact that he’s been taking you to this dance since you were a little girl is proof enough. You were a little sentimental, this was your last dance after all.

You smiled looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful in your dress. Your makeup was done to perfection and you had gotten a silk press in your hair. You felt like a princess. You heard your mom sniffle.

“Mom, again?” You laugh,turning to face her.

“I’m sorry! You just look so beautiful!” she says with a sad smile, “ God, you grew up so fast bug”

You roll your eyes, but feel the tears spring to your eyes as well, “ Ma! Stop I can’t ruin my make up”

You both laugh as you fan your eyes

“You ready?” She asks, “ Tony’s waiting for you in the living room.”

You nod, gathering your things and walking out the door. You let your mom walk down the stairs first. You can hear Tony and you assume Happy in the living room. You finally make it down the stairs. It turns out it was Tony, Happy, and Peter Parker. Your mom was chatting with them and they all had their back turned to you.

“Ahem.” You clear your throat, catching their attention.

You see Peter stiffen as he gazes at you and mutters a soft “Wow”

You blush, what can you say he’s a cutie.

Happy gives you a comforting smile.

And Tony?

He has a soft look on his face, “ Jeez kid, you clean up well.”

You laugh, “ Better than you old man, what's up with the pants?”

He had on Iron Man pj pants.

“Oh hush.” He laughs, “ You look beautiful kiddo.”

You look down with a grin.

“Oh pose for some pictures!” You mom says excitedly, “ Go Y/n, by your self first and then with me. Then with Tony.”

You sigh, knowing how long it was gonna take.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally after three million pictures, your mom and Tony drove you to the school.

“Okay bug, is your dad here?” Your mom asks looking around at the group.

“Yeah! He should be inside.” You say kissing your mom goodbye and waving to Tony. You show the ticket and waltz in the gym.

You smile and wave at classmates and parents. These people you’ve known since you were a child and who knew you. You finally got to the table you always sat at woth your dad.

It was empty.

You frown and look at your phone.

On my way pop!

It said the message was read.

“He must be on driving” You think to yourself as you sat at the table.

But then twenty minutes passed. Then an hour. then two

You were still there, waiting for your dad to come. You sent five messages and they all remained unopened.

You looked around the gym, seeing a few parents looking at you with pity in their eyes. You can barely stand it.

You got up and went to the restroom, trying not to cry. and in the restroom you tried calling you father, but you were sent to voicemail. The you finally got a message.

Dad

“I’m so sorry bug, I can’t make it to the dance. I have a meeting today. :(”

You felt dejected. Humiliated.

Your father has rearranged visitation days, skipped out on little crimonied and rectitals you’ve had, but this by far was the most disappointing thing he has done.

He promised multiple times that he’d be here. Never has he ever skipped out on the dance before. ANd he knew how important this was to you. Thi was your last dance, and he ruined it.

You let yourself cry. You sobbed as you realized that your father has been distancing himself from you. That your relationship hasn’t been okay for a while. And you just didn’t want to let go.

You sigh as you realize you’ve been in the restroom for a while. You stand up and look at your face. Despite the red eyes and slightly red nose, your make up was pretty much intact.

“Huh at least my setting spray hasn’t let me down.” You say to your self. After a few mintues of calming down, you walk out of the restroom and bump into a figure.

“Sorry” you mutter about to pass the person.

“Gee you took a while in there, I told you not to get that coffee kid.”

You quickly look up and se Tony.

Dressed in a suit, flowers in hand.

“Hey kid.” He says softly

“what..what are you doing here?” You whisper, tears filling your eyes again.

“Well apparently you need an rent a dad, and I happened to be in the neighborhood.” He jokes, then says, “ I’m sorry your dad didn’t come kiddo, and I know I’m not him, and quite frankly I’m glad I’m not. But I do love you like you’re my own, and well...yeah here I am.”

You stay quiet, looking at Tony in wonder. Touched that he did this for you.

“Of course if you just want to leave then we can just get out of here” He rambles nervously, “ But you gotta tell me kid cause I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Can we get ice cream after?” You ask him

“What?”

“After the dance, we should go get ice cream.”

“Uh sure?” Tony says, “So what do you usually do at these things?”

You laugh and steer him to the tables where they have all the activities at. You actually have more fun with him than you had recently wit your dad. Tony is definitely more competitive than your father and treats every game as a challenge. Not like something he’s humoring just for his kid. He celebrates with you instead of telling you to calm down. He chats with the adults, is nice to the kids, and does the goofy dances with you. Seeing Iron Man do the chicken dance is something you didn’t know you needed till now. He managed to turn this horrible night to one of the best ones you’ve had in quite a while.

Finally the father daughter dance started to signal the end of the dance. Tony bowed dramatically and said in a horrible british accent, “ Lady Y/n?”

You laugh and make your way to the dance floor. You’re both quiet for a bit, snorting at how serious the other dads and their daughters look.

“Hey T?” You say softly, looking at the ground.

“Yeah kid?”

“Thank you. It’s nice to know that one of my dad's isn’t a total asshole.” You say. knowing that this is the first time you referred to Tony as your dad.

His eyes get misty as he clears his throat,

“Anytime, bug”

#tony stark x teen!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #tony is a step dad #step parents #fluff #tony is a good dad #reader insert #x reader #marvel x reader

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dreamkidddream · 4 years

Note

hello!

can i request a hc on being best friends with dazai, chūya, oda and akutagawa (platonic and separate) and also maybe being in the pm or ada? thank you! :)

My first BSD request! When I tell you I fell in LOVE with the anime, omg. I binge watched the entire show and the movie within a couple days and can’t wait till they release more! So in these hc’s, I focused on both how you guys became friends and what you guys would do as best friends. Also, Akutagawa’s part got kinda long and more focused on how you guys became friends, hope that’s okay. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy! Also after posting this, I saw that these got realllyy long. Hope that’s okay too!

Possible TW: mention of suicide, but nothing too heavy, and it’s in Dazai’s part

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2/DARK ERA ARC (I think it’s episode 13-16 if I’m not wrong, but if you haven’t watched it yet, skip Oda’s part)

Being Best Friends with Dazai, Chūya, Akutagawa and Oda HCs

Dazai

Can you say CHAOTIC ENERGY

Imagine just having a nonstop sugar rush

Actually, remember how he was after eating the mushrooms? That’s the kind of energy y’all radiate together

If you’re both in the ADA, you both goof off so much that you have to sit at separate desks alll the way on the other side of the room so that you can try to get your work done

The keyword being try

It doesn’t work

Poor Kunikida is going to pop a blood vessel at any second and everyone is so used to now that nothing even surprises them anymore

Oh, Kunikida is yelling at Dazai and (y/n) with smoke practically coming out of his ears? What else is new

Always going to the little cafe to slack off too

Messing with Atsushi also the highlight of both of your guys day

You guys have a mini competition going on which is: who can get/convince Atsushi to do their reports the most without getting caught?

You both get caught all the time (duh). Kunikida foams at the mouth for tricking poor Atsushi and the poor sap himself is ready to pass out

If you guys are both in the PM, imagine goofing and slacking off but on a darker scale

“Hey (Y/N)! Wanna know how many bones are exactly in the human body? ”

“Hm, I’m slightly disgusted but intrigued..continue.”

Also, pranking Chūya any chance you can get

You and Dazai together = the bane of Chūya’s existence

Surprisingly, no matter in the ADA or PM you don’t join him on the suicide attempts and you try to deter him from doing it in your presence at least

“Dazai, do you mind not trying to drown yourself in the river while we’re working a case? Besides, you already tried it before and it’s a pretty stale method.”

Cue dramatic gasps and antics from him again

He did try to convince you to join when you first met him, but changed his mind overtime when he started to enjoy your company

He’s smart enough to know what you’re saying, and he understands. At first, he wanted to leave this world by any means, but since you came into his life as once of the closest people to him since Oda, he perhaps doesn’t want to leave you just yet

He doesn’t stop the attempts but he does slow down on them

You still have to pretty much save him all the time still though

“Oh (Y/N)! My hero of a best friend, what would I do without you?”

And he wasn’t lying. He feel like he would be lost again if it wasn’t for you to help him keep grounded. Sure, you guys may create chaos together, but he would always keep you safe no matter what. He would put his life before yours, because you deserved it

You’re his best friend after all, and he’s not ready to lose you by any means if he can help it

And he’ll always have your back 100%

Chūya

Drinking buddies!

I mean seriously, you guys have left the bar or restaurants way past tipsy more than once

You guys definitely have impromptu fashion trips together (no matter how much he denies liking them)

“Hey! That was my last good vest! You’re buying me a new one, and I’m going with you to make sure you’re not being cheap with it either.”

Chūya if you just wanna spend some time together just say that lmao

If you’re in the PM, you guys are always working together. You might even be an executive working alongside him, but no matter what you guys are always on missions with one another

If you’re in the ADA: you guys bonded over Dazai. You were complaining about him while facing Chūya and he happened to agree and add on to the complaints

Boy was he holding onto some grudges

While you both understand that you have your own obligations and loyalties to worry about, it didn’t stop the friendship from growing

If you do have to fight him, he doesn’t go easy on you (he does have a job to do like you) but he doesn’t go out the way to try and kill you either

And you don’t let anyone try to kill him either

Low key turns into a competition

“You fight like an 86 year-old shortstuff!”

“Who are you calling shortstuff?! You weren’t saying that last time when I whooped your ass!”

Regardless, you definitely become like a diary to him, especially after you find out about Arahabiki (which he tells you about over time)

You make him feel human, and he’s forever grateful for that

Being best friends with Chūya can be difficult at times (if you’re on opposite sides) but regardless, you both look out for each other

No matter how annoying you are can be, Chūya cares for you. You’re one of the only people that he doesn’t have to worry about betraying him (what happened with The Sheep still gets to him from time to time)

He begrudgingly calls you his best friend, but never in front of you or other people because 1. If he did you would never shut up about it and 2. he doesn’t want to be seen as “weak” or “soft”

And 3. you don’t need to be put into anymore danger than you’re already in

But you already know that you’re his best friend, cause he’s yours and nothing is changing that

“You’ll be a dumbass if you think I’ll let anything happen to you. Besides, the only person who’s allowed to kick my best friend’s ass is me, and if anyone else tries to they’ll have to deal with me!”

“*GASP* you’re finally admitting that I’m your best friend?!”

“DON’T RUIN THE DAMN MOMENT (Y/N)!”

Akutagawa

Oh man, being his best friend is like a hard to unlock achievement

Congrats (Y/N) on even getting close to this man, let alone enough to build a bond

It’s easier on being friends with Akutagawa if you’re in the PM. Bonus points if you go on missions all the time

But I will say if you are in the ADA, the easiest way to bond with him is to show that you are a force to be wrecking with, and maybe if you hate Atsushi or something too lol

But: think of Pinky and the Brain, but with Aku threatening to kill you every day (spoiler alert: he never does)

The only way that I can see you guys building your friendship is if he sees you in action and how you constantly have his back

He hates it because he knows what he’s doing and he’s been doing it for a while. He’s not an incompetent child (Y/N)!

But as time passes, he slowly gets over it. Don’t get me wrong, he still claims that he hates you asking if he’s okay and telling to “watch out” and things of that nature. But he starts to realize that you know what you’re doing too, and that he also sees that you care about the other subordinates too

He still sees if a sign of weakness, but you came to the realization that he wasn’t purposely doing it to be an ass (but don’t get me wrong, he still has his moments) but that he truly didn’t understand. He never had someone show him that they care for him, and it made you heartbroken

So, you made it your own personal goal to become his friend. And he hated it

At first

It seemed like wherever he was, you were there like his shadow. Going to hunt someone down that didn’t pay his debt? You were there in the background. Walking with Gin to the dry cleaners? You were already there, holding their readied clothes. Going to try and kill the weretiger? You were waiting for him with the car ready to go.

Higuichi started to hate you, until you told her that you did not want him. You just saw that he needed a friend, and you even came to an agreement of sorts. Once you and Akutagawa become strictly friends, you could try and hook them up

You knew it wasn’t happening anytime soon but you didn’t want to crush her dream and you didn’t want a target on your head

You really had to pat yourself on the back, (Y/N). It took some time, but you finally did it! Akutagawa didn’t totally hate you anymore!

You came to this conclusion after one of your missions went south. Not only did you not get the information that Mori needed, but you came back with a bullet wound. Granted you got reprimanded, and after you got out the meeting, he was waiting outside. For you

“Maybe if you would stop acting so careless and focus on the mission, then you would have both succeeded and came back uninjured. It’s obvious that you need someone to watch over you like a child. Don’t embarrass me or I will end you myself.”

Shocked wasn’t the word. He was going to accompany you on all your missions now? Oh wow, is he finally-

“Stop standing there with your mouth open like an idiot (Y/N). You’re bleeding all over the place. Come, so that someone can dress your wound. We have more work now that I have to go behind and clean up your mess. And you’ll be coming with me, so hurry up.”

You smiled. Even though this bullet wound was hurting like hell, you were happy. Happy that, even in his own Akutagawa way, that he was starting to accept you and your friendship.

It would take a while for you to become best friends, but the way your partnership is now, you were fine with that. As long as he knew that someone was standing in his corner no matter what, you were happy.

And he would support you too, in his own Akutagawa way

Oda

(AGAIN: SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 2/DARK ERA ARC. SKIP ODA’S PART IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED IT)

Okay, this man is loyal no matter what

He has a good head on his shoulders, he’s understanding, doesn’t have a crazy temper like some people do, and he doesn’t kill anymore

Oda would be one of the best people to be best friends with

I personally believe that it doesn’t matter whether you’re in the ADA or the PM, he only cares about what type of person you are.

Curry buddies!

Also, just imagine telling each other book recommendations and just talking about books in general

You would even look at some of the writing he did have and just UGH

He just wanted to be a writer he deserved a happy ending

If you’re in the ADA, you guys met at the little curry spot he likes so much

You were on a case local to the area when you stopped to grab a bite to eat. You saw him eating the spiciest curry you ever smelt (seriously, you could smell it from where you were sitting!) without making a single face

When he saw you just gaping at him, he was...very confused. Until you finally asked how the hell he was eating that with no issues

“It’s not that bad, it’s pretty good really. If you want to try some I’ll pay for it.”

You took him up on the offer, cause it did look really good. And you have never made a bigger mistake than that

You had to drink so much milk afterwards

And the cook was damn near laughing in tears at you and Oda managed to crack a small smile at your exaggeration

“It’s not that bad.”

“WHAT- *COUGHCOUGH* EVER”

And that was the start of your wonderful friendship

He definitely is worried about the conflict of interest because of being in the PM himself and working directly with one of the most vicious executives to ever exist

Seriously, Dazai was still his friend but damn could he do some things that even he couldn’t stomach

And he couldn’t imagine what Mori would make him do if he found out he was being buddy buddy with the enemy

So he kept his distance at first until you saw the kids. His guard was up at first but when he saw how you interacted with them, it melted his heart (on the inside, he was still stone faced on the outside)

So you guys met up a couple of times each month in between jobs and missions

If you’re in the PM, you worked alongside him and related to his stance on not killing anymore. Granted, you both were working on the other side of justice, but if you guys could help it you wouldn’t create bodies if it didn’t have to be any

If you guys weren’t meeting at the curry spot, you were meeting about Bar Lupin

You supported him through and through, especially with his dream of becoming a writer. You even went out to the bookstore a couple of times to try and inspire him to write something for you to read

It didn’t matter if you were in the ADA or the PM, you encouraged him to follow his dream. And when he would look at you confused , and asked why you were doing this, you would always reply:

“I wouldn’t be a good best friend if I didn’t tell you to follow your dreams, now would I? You deserve it, Oda. You’re a good man, and that can’t be said about a lot of people, especially people in the Port Mafia.”

He really did care for you, and in his last final moments before Dazai got there, he thought about you, and how terrible he felt for leaving you behind.

He wanted you to know that he always appreciated you. You reassured him always, never doubting him, and there wouldn’t be enough thanks in the world for that

When you found out about his death, you were devastated. You didn’t want to believe it at first and you kept blaming yourself that maybe you could’ve convinced him more to leave the dangerous life behind and to pursue his dreams

Until you found a letter in your door, which was actually a short story written by him attached to a letter.

“Thank you for being the best friend a man could ask for. I will always appreciate you (Y/N), no amount of words can tell you how much I will. Thank you for letting me live out my dream, even if it was for a short time.”

It really confirmed it when Dazai arrived outside to tell you Oda’s fate, but he stopped once he saw you crying and clutching the letter in your hand

Much time has passed, and Oda’s death still haunts you. But, you continue to live for the both of your sakes. You even try to eat the spiciest curry at restaurants in his memory, but you can just see him shaking his head and cracking a small smile at your silliness

And you also remember his motto: limit to one curry meal per day (it’s silly, but it makes you feel better because it’s his silly motto and how serious he took it)

You even start to read more (and to specific, the series that he wanted to finish)

You see your life in brighter eyes now because of Oda. He was- actually still is- your best friend, and you will continue to live on in his memory

You just hate that you didn’t have the time to tell him how much you appreciated him being in your life, and how much of a positive influence he’s been as your best friend.

But that’s okay, because you think he already knows how much you do

#dazai x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #chuya x reader #bsd reader insert #akutagawa x reader #oda x reader #odasaku x reader #bsd odasaku #bsd dazai #bsd akutagawa #bsd chuuya #bsd chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs drabbles #bungou stray dogs headcannons #chuuya x reader

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poptod · 3 years

Note

Congrats for finishing ur exams! Hope u have time for relaxing in summer :) if u take ficreqs & this is topic ur comfortable writing for I'll have an ask: Kenny having/going thru some body image issues (it came to my mind when in season 2 he was going out w/Dylan he was fussing w/his shirt & being like is it too tight etc.)

Notes: thank u!! honestly its kinda nice to b able to project my own eating disorders on a fictional character lmao. thats twisted as fuck of me. warnings: eating disorders, homophobia, the whole rundown lmao. the reader in this is kind of dumb as fuck but well-informed so do with that what you will WC: 1.4k

It happened over the summer.

No one else noticed, but you did. He stopped wearing his big shirts, and the smaller ones now hung over his frame in wrinkles too big for his body. His jaw strengthened, his eyes steely, and his words remained sweet, if not awkward, as ever.

You've talked to him a couple times, but never for long, and his interactions with teenagers as popular as you are are limited and uncomfortable. On his part, he doesn't really know you personally––only as a sort of monarch to a high school. This image of you leaves him stuttering as you trap him against the lockers, surrounded by the silence of a vacant school.

"Wh - what are you –"

"Quiet," you say, glancing up to meet his frantic gaze.

The heat of his stomach moving with rough breaths warms your hands, sliding up his shirt to pull away the fabric and reveal the bare skin. His ribs are showing. From experience you know they didn't use to, but you can't deny the excitement that rushes through you at the sight of his thin waist unobstructed by clothing.

"How'd you lose weight?" You ask, withdrawing your hands from his midsection while keeping him stuck between lockers and you. You had never claimed to be anything but straightforward, almost violently so.

He shifts his weight on his feet, shoulders tensing till they reach his ears.

"Why do you care? You don't even know me," he says with a glare focused on the floor beside you.

"Your name is Khaleel but everyone calls you Kenny because people are dickbags, and you're always hanging out with that Larry kid. And I know for a fact you weren't this skinny," you say, tugging the belt of his loose pants to peer down.

"Don't," he grits out, and he writhes in your grasp, attempting to escape.

Seeing his discomfort, you withdraw your hand once more, and look him in the eye.

"I've seen things like this before," you say, boring into the soul behind his own eyes. "I've been this thing before. Tell me how you did it."

"I..." he pauses, searching your expression for any give in your request, before he gives up with a sigh. "I stopped eating meals for a week."

"Why?" You ask in a much softer tone than your previous, your fingers brushing over his unsteady hands.

"I hate how I look," he admits in a broken voice, eyes tinted red as tears form on the edges. "I'm sick of being unattractive and unwanted. I just wanted to be appealing to someone, for once."

"You're wanted," you say, beginning with a much-needed assurance. "High school is absolute ass and everything that happens in it has nearly no affect on your life. You're going to grow up, and you're going to find cities full of people who want to kiss you. The effects of purposeful starvation on your body and mind are not worth this temporary conformity to the American beauty standard."

Now he just looks confused. You sigh, exasperated by kids who don't seem to get your line of thinking pertaining to society and its expectations of adults and teenagers.

"This is such a small part of your life that can be so deeply enjoyed if you do it right. Don't ruin it with this," you say, and your own voice cracks, strained by the tension stuck in your throat. "You're never going to be skinny enough for this disease. Not even if you're ten pounds."

These words––they're all birthed by what you wish someone had told you. What would've stopped you from doing this to yourself.

The tears long building round his eyes fall at last, creating streams down his cheeks that he covers up by hiding his face in his hands. He falls into you, leaning his weight on your body, and hiding his face (which is still hidden in his hands) in the crook of your neck. Knuckles of his fingers dig into the sensitive skin there, but it is no hard task to ignore it.

You wrap your arms around the boy, holding him tight to you and running your fingers through his hair. Chest to chest, hips to hips, legs nearly stepping over one another. Muffled sobs wrack his weakened shoulders.

"I know," you whisper. It's all the sound you can manage. "It's alright. I know."

"I just wanna be wanted," he chokes out, shifting to hide himself deeper in your touch.

"You already are," you say in a hum, turning to kiss his temple.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "No, no, my parents don't even want me. No one does."

"What do you mean your parents don't want you?" You ask as a deep concern settles itself within you.

He won't pull away, and as much as you want to see his expressions, you know he needs your touch more than anything in this moment.

"I haven't seen them in weeks, they won't let me back into the house. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't..." he trails off as a new burst of tears shivers throughout his body, weakening his already frail limbs.

"They kicked you out?" You ask.

"... yeah," he says, sniffing.

His hands finally leave his tear-covered face, and he wraps them around you as tight and close as he can, shifting his head to the side to truly lie on your shoulder, with his nose nudging your neck. His hands cling to the back of your shirt, nails almost digging into your back as his tears soak your shoulder.

"Adults aren't infallible," you say, your own words now muffled as your chin rests on the crest of his head. "One day they'll realize their mistake, and they'll want you more than anything."

He goes quiet for a while, still sniffling, before he says in a trembling voice, "but I want to be desired now. I don't understand why no one wants me."

"I actually know for a fact that someone in the school very much wants you," you say without hesitation. You can't be the only one who sees how sweet this guy is.

"Really?" He sniffs and pulls away, but his hands linger on your waist. "Who?"

Your mind pulls a blank before it hits you like a trainwreck––it's you. You're the one that wants him. Maybe you are the only one to see him at all, and that realization leaves you stumped. Could you so plainly tell him? Would that be taking advantage of him in his state?

Whatever, you think, still staring blankly ahead as Kenny awaits your answer. This guy needs a pick-me-up.

"It's... me," you say in your most awkward voice since middle school. You cringe inwardly. It's like you're giving him bad news.

His mouth falls open, and he stares at you like you're the only thing to look at in the whole world.

"With..." he jabs himself in the chest with his own finger as he points to himself, ".. me?"

"That is what I just said, yes," you say, nodding.

He tries to stutter out a sentence, something along the lines of why, and you hardly want to hear what he has to say. None of it is going to be true. It's all muck about him not being worth it, and as he grows more frantic, you know you have to calm him down yourself.

Your eyes shut and you lean in blindly, having memorized his face from lunches spent staring at him from a table across the room. Lips mould to his and the words fizzle out, devolving into soft whines as the tail end of his sobbing dies out, suffocated by his first kiss.

He leans into you once more, resting his unsure hands gingerly upon your shoulders. You take his wrists, never parting from his lips as you pull him nearer, till his elbows rest on your shoulders and he holds you closer than before. When his hands tangle into your hair unprompted, you hum, fall, and pin him back against the lockers.

"Hey!"

Someone is shouting at you from down the hallway. You sigh and part from him, turning with a blasé look to meet one of the teachers.

"No making out in the hallway," she scolds but says nothing more, continuing to walk into the next room.

You turn back to Kenny and he's bright red, looking horrified with himself.

"Oh my God," he whispers out as his hands shake ever so slightly.

"It's alright," you murmur, too close to him to stand anything else. You kiss his forehead before you continue, "it's not a big deal. It's alright."

You pull away, looking him in the eye as you say, "come to my house?"

He hesitates.

"I'll make you something to eat. You don't have to eat a lot," you offer.

"... yeah," he says, and nods, looking up to meet your eye. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

#kenny al bahir x reader #kenny al bahir #rami malek #rami malek character #the war at home

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bts-ficrecs · 4 years

Text

BTS Bodyguard AUs

Anon request: Any bodyguard aus you recommend? 🥺

Doth mine eyes deceive me???? bodyguard???? um???? YES???? I…… may have gone overboard…. again….. Lmao Enjoy!~ and remember to give these writers lots of love!!!!

Note: I have not read a majority of these, so I’m super giddy to get into them!~ And as always, if you have a fic that you think should be added lmk and I’ll check it out! ^^

KIM NAMJOON.

23 by @yoongisbbydoll

— Genre: angst

— Summary: It never occurred to Namjoon that he would lose such a big piece of himself to you. All those nights spent together, he never realized that he was slowly falling for you and everything you do. He only ever saw himself as a friend to you, someone who protected you at all costs, someone expendable. Namjoon had never even pondered the idea that you could feel the same.

Because She (and You) Give Me None by @namjooniebjonesuniverse

— Genre: angst, fluff, ongoing series

— Summary: Ever since he took the throne at the tender age of sixteen, King Kim Seokjin of the Tuhan Kingdoms is seeking to create peace between the Vampire and Shifter races, who have been at odds with each for a decade. In order to demonstrate to his people that said peace is possible, he hires a new security detail for himself and his younger brother. Both of them being Vampires. Crown Prince Kim Namjoon is absolutely thrilled with the idea…

Caged by @mrsmon

— Genre: angst, fluff, complete series

— Summary: You didn’t turn around. You didn’t have to. In the last three months, you had grown so accustomed to his presence that you could tell when he was around by the way the air shifted and the world seemed to stop in its tracks for the fraction of a second, and with it your heart.

Impossible Ghosts by imlittleredbird & serClizia (AO3)

— Pairing: Namjoon x Seokjin

— Genre: fluff, smut, complete series

— Summary: Namjoon is the crown prince of South Korea and he has 99 problems, all of which are Kim Seokjin. Jin is the personal bodyguard of the prince and has 1 big problem: the way his ears turn red because of his crush - which happens to be the crown prince of South Korea.

Power by @ironicarmy (AO3 link)

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut

— Summary: You always go out of your way to remind Namjoon who’s boss. Until he snaps and you find out that he’s the one in charge.

Rotten by @1kook

— Genre: fluff, smut

— Summary: How bold of him to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, as if his presence alone doesn’t contribute to the distance your father places between the two of you.

KIM SEOKJIN.

About Time by @i-would-rather-be-queen

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: You caught yourself staring at him again. Kim Seokjin.

Borders by @drquinzelharleen

— Genre: angst, smut, discontinued series

— Summary: Jin has been a faithful and loyal bodyguard to your family for years, not that you’ve noticed. He’s the best at what he does, which is why he has been assigned to take care of you. Of course it’s hard when he’s so unlike anything you’ve ever been around.

Heaven's Light by pact (AO3)

— Pairing: Seokjin x Jungkook

— Genre: angst, series (on hiatus)

— Summary: Kim Seokjin has been raised and trained to serve whatever it is that pleases the clients of the establishment that took him in when nobody else would. But when he is brought up to the palace of The Majestic to be the pet of a prince who shows little concern to anyone who he deems inconvenient to him, Seokjin soon finds himself drowned in a series of manipulation, cruelty, sadism and the spoiled demeanor of a young man who holds the fate of his life between his fingers.

If I Kiss You, I Won't Be Able to Stop by @hoseoksyn (AO3)

— Genre: smut

— Summary: The mafia's daughter's crush on her bodyguard reaches breaking point.

Safe and Sound by bazooka (AO3)

— Pairing: Seokjin x Namjoon

— Genre: fluff, twoshot

— Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard. "You're sort of bad at this." "Nah. You're safe, aren't you?"

The Bodyguard by @hollyxqx

— Genre: smut

— Summary: Seokjin, hired to protect you by your wealthy father, can’t keep his hands off you after a night together.

MIN YOONGI.

At Your Service by @magicalsalamander

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut

— Summary: Your Grandpa adopted him, ex-K-9 police dog hybrid, to kept the auto shop safe. He had to fulfill his vicious guard dog hybrid appeal, but he was putty in your hands. However, when an unexpected event happens you took ownership of Yoongi, your best friend…but when tensions build, will he want to stay with you?

Breaking Point by @i-would-rather-be-queen

— Genre: fluff, 2shot

— Summary: Months went by with him at your side. He was diligent and always polite but kept a professional distance. It was hard to know what was going through his head. You supposed you didn’t mind. Maybe it was easier for him to do his job that way. But sometimes it irked you that as friendly as you tried to be, he always held a part of himself back.

Orbits by @galaxyseokjin

— Genre: angst, fluff

— Summary: Life in this sector of the galaxy had always been rough, always had been a fight to live. Life as a mercenary never one you thought you’d fall into. But here you were, earning a pretty penny now that you’d made a name for yourself. When you’d accepted the offer to be a body guard for the son of a politician, you expected the life of luxury. Easy days and nights with no worries. Unfortunately for you, Min Yoongi had no intention of falling into that plan.

화양연화 (The Most Beautiful Moment In Life) by sunshinejoon (AO3)

— Pairing: Yoongi x Jimin

— Genre: angst, fluff

— Summary: "With every empty office and every light left on -- it only means that people have left, y'know? They've left, just for a while, to be with their families." He falls silent, before picking back up again. "These people, they're with people they love. People they're trying to love. Or maybe they're all alone in their shitty apartments -- but they're someone to love too, are they not?" Yoongi exhales, and Jimin thinks he feels it expand, curl against his insides. "Maybe these lights like the night."

JUNG HOSEOK.

Guarded By @xjoonchildx

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, complete series

— Summary: You’ve tried to separate yourself from your infamous crime family, but a new case has your carefully-constructed world crashing down around you. now you have to figure out how to heal old wounds and handle the new man who enters your orbit.

Nothing but the Rain by @i-would-rather-be-queen

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: Most people didn’t know the real role Jung Hoseok played in your life. He was too loud, too impulsive to be seen for what he really was: your bodyguard. Granted, the man had a massive startle reflex so it was hard to imagine him being a dog in any kind of fight.

Protected by @jungk0oksthighs

— Genre: angst, smut, infidelity warning

— Summary: He was your bodyguard, and he never left your side. As somewhat of a celebrity your brother hired a bodyguard to ensure your safety, but Hoseok was more like a friend than somebody who was paid to be around. It wasn’t always easy though, things became complicated when you started to catch feelings for a man who attended your brother’s masquerade ball with another woman.

PARK JIMIN.

Don’t Care If It Hurts by @hollyhomburg

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, complete series

— Summary: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring.

I Blow up Buildings (but I’d Blow You) by sugaretreat (AO3)

— Pairing: Yoongi x Jungkook

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: The AU where Yoongi has been receiving death threats from an enemy organisation known as Skeletal, and Jeon Jeongguk is the lucky bastard brought in to be his bodyguard. Yoongi tries to hate him. He really does.

Knight by junglec0re (AO3)

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, twoshot

— Summary: In which Jimin is a Prince, and Yoongi is his personal bodyguard that would do anything for him.

Protegere by @taesbetch

— Genre: angst, fluff, ongoing series

— Summary: In a land where the crown means everything, everything will be risked in order to protect it. when Y/ns older brother dies its time for her to claim the throne, however, she is seen as weak and an easy target to those lurking in the shadows. The park clan has been trained from birth to protect the throne and those on them, but the death of Y/ns Brother and other suspicious events seem to of happened coincidentally close. what happens is something no one is ready for.

Sunflower by @i-would-rather-be-queen

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: Jimin was your favorite guard. So many of them were gruff and treated you as an inconvenience. A valuable inconvenience to be sure, but still not one with which they wanted to interact. It made sense you supposed. Emotions can cloud judgement and that’s the last thing a bodyguard needs. But from his first day assigned to you Jimin was different. He always made eye contact and smiled warmly. It was a welcome change from being seen as an object.

KIM TAEHYUNG.

An Ocean Heart by @always-in-an-alternate-universe

— Genre: ongoing series

— Summary: There was once a beautiful woman who was as strong as she was beautiful and as smart as she was strong. She had always been the radiant one in the room, who had a presence that was as deep and rich as the ocean’s depths. In that sense, an ocean was the perfect metaphor for her, because the further you looked into it, the less you saw. It’s hard to say whether or not she was born to be this way or eventually grew into it, after all, she was born into the largest South Korean mafia.

The President’s Son by @jimlingss

— Genre: fluff, complete series

— Summary: Kim Taehyung is the President’s son, mischievous and playful, and infamous for being a troublemaker. When everyone’s given up, they call for you to be his personal guard. There’s no other choice when your dad’s assigned you to it and surprisingly Taehyung doesn’t mind either. Maybe because you happened to grow up with that brat.

JEON JUNGKOOK.

Angel With A Shotgun by @taegonia

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series

— Summary: You knew that hiring Jungkook as your bodyguard would be a mistake and that it would lead to… unprofessional actions.

Bodyguard by @minsugapie

— Genre: fluff, complete series

— Summary: You didn’t want to have someone with you at all times, let alone some butch man you’d never met before. It just didn’t sound appealing to you in the slightest. Plus, how popular were you getting that a man had literally given up his life to serve yours? It wasn’t like you were the goddamn Queen of England.

Crown of Gold by @fairykooks

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: Jeon Jungkook is the nation’s pride - kind, charismatic, honest, loving, courageous, beautiful. and in love.

Heavens Will Burn by @gyuten

— Genre: angst, fluff

— Summary: The truth is that love is only easy for the very lucky few. Jeon Jungkook is in love with someone, and she him. Their love should have come easy, if only life hadn’t given him the biggest misfortune of all: a curse to never be able to touch others without harming them. To Jungkook, his love becomes nothing but sweet pain.

I Found Peace (in your body’s skin) by Ahgamo (AO3)

— Pairing: Jungkook x Yoongi

— Genre: angst, ongoing series

— Summary: Prince Jeon Jungkook has been receiving death threats for a couple of months. They hire one Agent Kim (not Taehyung) to guarantee The Prince’s safety. When the assassin makes his first move, killing Agent Kim in the process, they hire one Min Yoongi to protect Korea’s Prince instead. Jungkook isn’t happy with his replacement.

My Terms by @nomnomsik

— Genre: smut, yandere warning, ongoing series

— Summary: Relatively close in age and similar hidden personalities, an idol and bodyguard discuss secret terms unbeknownst to the company. What will come about them and what exactly did they discuss?

Now Breathe by @hereforaus

— Genre: angst, smut, ongoing series

— Summary: People invading your personal space is one of the top most annoying thing to ever exist on earth and your overprotective politician mother hiring a personal bodyguard for you didn’t help at all.

Off Guard by @diortae (AO3 link)

— Genre: fluff, horny jk so

— Summary: bodyguard!jungkook and rich girl!y/n who has made it her mission to make the 25th bodyguard, jungkook’s life hell to make him quit but jungkook’s one tough cookie who’s always thinking one step ahead of her.

Only You by shellflower (AO3)

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series

— Summary: It didn't surprise you when you were chosen as one of the top 4 students at the Security Protection Program. It surprised you a little to learn that you would be assigned to one of the four Heirs to the throne. It surprised you a lot to learn that the prim and proper Princes were...not quite what you imagined. Despite this, you would do anything to protect them with your life. And you will.

Order by @rainwards

— Genre: angst, twoshot

— Summary: In which you give Jungkook a very important order.

Protection by @koosgrl

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut

— Summary: “you can’t protect me.” Being the heir of a mafia empire has its pros and cons, what you hated the most was the annoying body guards who were constantly glued to you. however, you always found a way to get rid of them, until you met jeon jungkook that is.

Stubborn Love by @hoseoksyn

— Genre: angst, smut, infidelity warning

— Summary: Love is not a choice, this much you knew. for a girl like you, neither was marriage. married off to a prince, you had the life most girls would dream of. but your dream didn’t end with prince charming. yours ended with your loyal bodyguard that you could never have.

— Mai’s Thots: READ THIS AND THEN CRY BC ANGST AND THEN CRY AGAIN BC SAM IS WRITING A SEQUEL

The Bodyguard by @letspurpletogether

— Genre: angst, smut, ongoing series

— Summary: Your father is the Don, so you’ve pretty much had enemies your whole life. But when he fails to protect you like he should, you realize maybe it’s time for you to take the matters into your own hands and gather your own men. Perhaps, starting with that tattoed fellow over there with the bad attitude.

The Singing Guardian by @sugaabooga

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: “A singer!” your five-year old self gleefully smiles at your teacher with your chubby hands clasped together in a dreamy-like way. Your teacher gives you a warm smile as she writes down ‘SINGER’ in big fat letters on your assignment sheet. “Well, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful singer. Contact me when you become famous!”

True Care by @joonsgalaxy (AO3 link)

— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series

— Summary: your (endearingly) shy bodyguard—hired by your father—would do anything for you. even though you roll your eyes at his persistence and pretend there’s no need for him to follow you to every and any place you go, there might be many more hazards in your life than you let on. and you might end up needing him in more ways than you—or your father—would ever think.

Untitled by @an-exotic-writer

— Genre: fluff

— Summary: The morning had been a bit too quiet for your liking and you can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

OT7:

Sanctuary by @minniepetals

— Genre: angst, fluff

— Summary: Sometimes home isn’t a specific destination, sometimes home is when you’re crying and they reach out to hold you in their arms despite the rules. sometimes home is what you call their arms, your sanctuary.

congrats. you made it to the end.

#bts fanfic #jungkook fluff #yoongi fluff #jimin fluff #namjoon fluff #taehyung fluff #hoseok fluff #seokjin fluff #bts fic rec #g recs

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kae-karo · 3 years

Note

for director's cut asks, how about more than that?

ahhhh excellent choice, tyty anon dear!!!

for context - send me a fic you want director’s commentary on!

more than that - bakutodo

He’s not sulking. Katsuki is appropriately pissed off

baku is SUCH a great pov to write from, like, generally? cause while he's definitely really conservative about some of his emotions, i think he lets himself get all pissed off and riled up inside his own head, and it's a case of there being so much more going on in his thoughts than he ever puts out into the world. and that makes for a super rich inner dialogue, which tends to be where i work best lmao

He exhales a heavy breath - he trusts Deku, though he’s loath to admit it.

baku having this inseparable soft spot for deku was kind of super critical to me during this whole story and fleshing out their relationship/his relationship with todo/etc? just like. almost not really knowing how to be apart from him, having to worry about him even more now that he's not here, etc. having to hand over trust, which he doesn't do easily - he strikes me so much as a character who needs control (oddly enough lmao) like, he needs to be the one doing things because he knows he can do it

“Reward me with information,” he says against his own will

although i find him more prone to inner emotions, i think his outward control is actually pretty meaningful? he knows what he wants, but unlike some other characters who are prone to acting heavily on emotion, i think it's a rarer thing for baku? when he has control over himself, at least. while he wants todo, he still has fair insight into the overall situation, into what could potentially heavily involve him, and he still makes that a priority? i find it rare in characters that i enjoy writing tbh, because for the most part, i like a character who acts on their emotions (or in direct counter to their emotions, ie a character in denial or pointedly trying to fight their emotions and reacting accordingly) - level heads (can't believe i'm using that to refer to baku but here we are lmao) are rare for me to enjoy writing

“She would like to meet you, I suspect.”

i knew from the start that once i got todobaku together, todo would want baku to meet his mom. and while it didn't end up working out in the second part of the series (in part due to the sheer freshness of their relationship), i'm glad i was able to put it in here. it also gave me a good chance to explore the implications of baku's status and personality, and his reservations about appearing/acting 'royal' enough to be with todo - which, now that some of the more pressing issues have been dealt with, he can actually think through now

“I was told you’d be a bit more...abrasive,”

okay tbh i actually love writing rei? she's fun as hell to build out as a character, i really like giving her some of todo's sassier personality traits, making her a bit of a gossip, and almost always letting her see through facades or other characters' obliviousness. i really like using her as a vector to bring light to other characters, or to open their eyes to things that they haven't noticed yet, and i adore her being blunt in a very wholesome, kind way

“Not for one fucking second,” he says, and takes Shouto’s stupid arm anyway.

can you tell one of my favorite tropes is 'character claims not to trust the other one while blatantly acting with the utmost trust toward them'? skfldjjklsdf really though, i think baku is the type to make well-considered judgments about whether a person is trustworthy and to what degree/in what situations, and he has that all filed neatly in his head for reference. and then todo comes along and gets slapped with 'trust at all times, always' and he kind of hates that, but his stupid intuition has never been wrong before

“This is your fucking coronation.”

i actually had this concept for a one-shot in mind from pretty early on, because i'd built sort of this whole domino effect that needed to collapse and have todo take the place of the king at some point - without trauma, ideally. but it allowed this really huge culmination of baku making some serious decisions about how he feels about todo and all of this, within the context of like. actually having to consider the royalty aspect firsthand. and ofc todo wouldn't just tell him, he'd make him decide on the spot sdflkjkdlf run away, or don't. and baku isn't a fan of running

“But the thought of your subservience,” his face twitches with clear distaste, “does not appeal to me.”

while a little bit of this is personal preference, i actually think...two things, really. the first, that todo genuinely doesn't want someone to blindly obey him. and, as such, he chooses his companions accordingly - people who respect him, people who want to support him because of that, not because he's the prince (or king). the second, that baku actually is kinda into being ordered around - provided he's allowed to fight it a bit before giving in. he strikes me as the kind to take control in every aspect of his life, but to give that control to those he trusts in moments of pure privacy. and i think it would kill him to ever admit that out loud lmaoooo

“This life is overwhelming. I am aware that I can also be...overwhelming, in some ways.”

i think todo really struggles with this, actually - like he's acutely seen the effects of him being the crown prince, the way it changes how his friends can interact with him, how he's expected to interact with the world. and it scares him, that baku might not be okay with that. but it's critical that he's allowed, uninfluenced, his choice. especially when it's this big, because it's one thing for someone like kaminari to sneak around and hang out with todo, but another entirely to subject baku to all the formalities required of the crown prince's....person? consort? whatever he is lmao

“I had hoped to find a more eloquent way of wording that.”

speaking of characters who act on emotions, todo is definitely that kind of character more often than not. and i like the idea of his life of underwhelming bullshit to be interrupted and turned on its head by the overwhelming presence of one bakugou katsuki, leaving him making all kinds of wild decisions driven mostly by the idea that he wants baku, and he's going to figure out how to have him (as long as baku wants it too)

“I fuckin’ hope so. All that coronation bullshit is gonna be really hard to backtrack on.”

y'know i actually did toy with the idea of ending this story at baku's 'more than that' comment, but it felt important to let todo say his piece. also, it's critically imperative that i let todo tease baku a bit lmao. i do also like to let baku get called out on things he's insecure about? which, while not really an issue most of the time, the 'acting like a royal' thing definitely feels like a shortcoming for him when it comes to being with todo. so having todo reassure him on that felt like a meaningful addition. and having baku reaffirm to todo that he's in it, come hell or high water, was definitely important. i like giving baku the chance, when he feels safe enough to do so, to open up and be a little vulnerable with the people he cares about

send me a fic you want director’s commentary on!

#bakutodo #bnha #bnha fic #ask game #fic game #ask #anon #fic directors commentary

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Burn It (M.YG x Reader)🔞☁️💜🐾 1

Pairing: Dragon!Min Yoongi x Dragon!Reader

Genre: Angst, Hybrid AU, Romance, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: (oh boy here we go) Blood, Fighting, Angst, Mentions of mistreatment, Slavery, injuries, killing of animals (they gotta hunt food boo) Separation anxiety, separation depression, Dom/Sub themes because that’s just me and y’all know me I can’t be normal for once lol, famine, war, graphic descriptions of violence, death, y’all gonna hate me after this lmao

Summary: To ensure their own survival, Dragons have made a pact with the Human Kingdom centuries before; letting them claim a Dragon every new generation to keep as whatever they may desire them to be. This has become a tradition, not only the fun and thrill of the hunt for the ruling human species, but also the loss and heartbreak for the Dragon-shifters, the burden never seeming to become easier to carry. The shifters accepted so many things, from the way they’d openly shame their kind, how they would simply do and take whatever they wanted; whenever they wanted, slowly becoming more and more greedy and uncaring for the rules set centuries ago. Min Yoongi however becomes more than determined to end this tradition when his mate is being captured- and if humans thought they could overcome anything in their way, Yoongi will gladly remind them who’s actually in charge. It’s time for things to change. Its time to burn their kingdom to ashes, and maybe even build a new one.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | ?

The sheets fell comfortably over your bodies, head near his shoulder. The world outside of your nest was already slowly waking up, soft and tired morning chatter increasing in volume with every minute it seemed. "Go back to sleep." He suddenly mumbled, to the regular ear just some random grumbling, yet yours were trained to listen carefully, nowadays able to make out even the faintest of words since he sometimes spoke to you even with his back turned. You giggled, slowly crawling closer to his body, his hands welcoming you instantly by grabbing the back of your upper thigh gently, laying your leg over his lower body, fondly running his hand over your skin, as if to caress you back to sleep.

"Hey, Yoongi?" You asked, own voice still laced with sleep. "What do you think our cubs may look like one day?" You randomly asked, mind still a bit fuzzy with the remnants of your most recent dream. Yoongi simply chuckled at that, shrugging his shoulders with eyes still closed.

"Don't know. We'll see I guess." He mumbled, placing a kiss to your neck. His hand began to wander, brushing over your soft skin further, as he opened one of his cat-like eyes to look at your now open ones. "But now that you talk about it-" He began, and moved to position himself above you, teeth grazing your bonding mark in between the crook of your neck with his pointed canines. "I guess we could use a bit of training, yeah?" He said, and you giggled again, feeling ticklish at his touch. You shoved him a little, and he smiled, playfully biting your skin to keep you immobile for him, as if he needed to- you would never run away from him in a million years and more.

"Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon are probably already up and preparing for your arrival." You reminded him, and he nodded with a bit or worry. The other clan, living a bit further into the mountains, away from the woods and deep forests you did had made an alliance decades ago after the first war of men against your kind. He'd made friends with some of them, including their current leading figure Seokjin- even though he'd never openly say that. "You also promised me to give Taehyung his present from me. His birthday is important." Taehyung was a bit older than you, yet he had a youthful charm to him that sometimes made you forget that small fact about him. You adored the dragon dearly, even if he came from a different clan. These days, every Clan stuck together it seemed, boundaries slowly getting blurry as more and more alliances were made, now even clans far away from the mountains agreeing on keeping a friendly bond to one another.

He laughed a bit, but whined his next words playfully dramatic. "I still don't get why you can't come along. You know this man-cub has way too much energy for me." You cooed at him, making him scoff at you. He always acted as if he didn't care much about others, and that he was a tough dragon, yet you and his friends knew that he had a soft heart deep inside him.

"Someone has to stay behind Yoongi. I'll be fine, and its just for today, tomorrow, and the day after." You reassured him, knowing how much he worried due to the current situation. Winter wasn't even hitting with full force yet, only slowly creeping up on the lands, yet the Kingdom of men already faced dire times. Your kind had warned them early on to not be too wasteful, yet they didn't seem to be wanting to listen to you. This were the consequences they would have to face, yet it didn't mean they wouldn't do something drastic. Humans were known to be very impulsive creatures. You had to stay behind to reassure your own clanmates; leaving with Yoongi could paint a wrongful picture of you abandoning them for your own benefit of safety. And you'd never do that in a million years.

You could faintly hear the flapping of wings somewhere in the distance, then a flock of doves skitting away as something heavy landed near your window. Shortly afterwards, a knock was heard, and Yoongi groaned annoyed. You slowly untangled your limbs from around Yoongi's, yawning with a smile while opening the door, greeting whoever was behind it, as Yoongi's body flopped back down on the bed with exaggerated defeat. "Good morning y/n! I guess Yoongi is still asleep?" The young dragon asked, his usual doe-eyes still a bit sleepy, yet face held a bit of worry behind it, which did make you a bit uneasy. You shook your head, when the man in question suddenly appeared behind you, in all his grumpy glory, having noticed your shift of emotions almost instantly.

"I'm awake now, and you're being a cocklock kid. What is it?" He bluntly said, making you slap his chest in embarrassment. The tips of the young dragon's ears turned a bit pink at that, yet he simply cleared his throat, trying to keep his composure. Yoongi had always joked about the fact that Jungkook had a small crush on you, yet you always assured him that that wasn't true- you both simply felt for each other in a way siblings felt, not lovers. That part was forever taken for you.

"The Kingdom has still to announce the date of the hunt." He said, voice a bit hesitant, knowing how fast this topic could rile his older brother up. "But there is a rumor going around that it will be tomorrow." He said, already shrinking a bit, as if to prepare for the older one's outburst.

Yoongis eyes grew angry. "They what?!" He said, only staying calm for your sake as you held onto his shoulder.

The young dragon nodded sadly. "I've personally checked the situation after everyone began to talk about it. They're already preparing, but I've been told not to worry too much by their spokespeople. Me and the other messengers have been given the task to just warn everyone." He said. "I- Namjoon said you should decide yourself if you want to still-" He attempted, yet Yoongi beat him to it.

"I'm not going." He said, already trying to close the door, yet you held it open, trying to diffuse the angry aura.

"Now hold on, we're told not to worry- Yoongi, this is really important, you need to go." You said calmly, shushing him as he attempted to speak again, probably to disagree. "No, if you don't go, it'll just unsettle everyone. We can't have that, not now." You argued, and he sighed after a moment, nodding towards Jungkook to get the message out that he's going to meed the Kim Clan today anyways- even though he had his worries. The younger dragon nodded, flying off after saying his farewells to you, to which you nodded, and closed the door.

Yoongi fell onto the bed next to you as you had sat down to stretch your limbs, arms reaching out for your body, trying to get you back to bed. You giggled, yet playfully shoved him away from you, scolding him gently. "No Yoongi, you need to get up. If you lay down now, you'll just fall asleep again." You said, tapping his chin which made him scoff.

"You act as if you have to mother me." He said, feline eyes looking at you with a mildly impish glint in them. You giggled as he opened his arms, now sitting on the side of your bed, beckoning you to sit on his lap for a moment, simply to hold you. "I'm worried." He finally said, and your arms placed themselves around his middle, trying to calm his nerves.

"I know." You answered, before you squeezed him a bit tighter, just for a second, making him run his hand over your back. "But if you don't leave, you know the kingdom will grow uneasy." You said, worry now on your tongue as well. "They're too easy to rile up these days. Lets not take chances."

He finally nodded, getting up to dress himself, movements lazy as you continued to watch him for a moment, before getting up yourself. It was probably a good idea to start your day as well.

"I'll fly back immediately if something is wrong. Just send me a sign, I'll be right back, I promis-" You cut his rambling off with a kiss, smiling at him as he looked at you seriously, ready to scold you.

"Yoongi, I'll be fine. Winter is coming, but we'll survive just like last year." You promised, and touched his bonding mark on his neck, making him close his eyes. You knew he hated being away from you, but he was also a very independent and free roaming soul- needing his own time and freedom as much as the air you both breathed every day and night. You loved him for this; his heart still untamed yet he'd bound himself to you despite his need to be on his own. It made you feel as special just like he always said you were.

He nodded, kissing your forehead before jumping off of the cliff, his black dragon form expanding its wings powerfully, his scales reflecting the sunlight in dark rainbow patterns like black opal, making your eyes glow with fondness. He truly was a prince, wasn't he? He always played it off whenever you brought it up, but his royal blood was clearly visible in visual and character- the way he carried himself confident in a way only kings and blue blooded Ancestors did. Maybe that was why the people of his clan had chosen him and you as the leading couple; trust was always placed in the people who seemed the most honest and capable, after all. And he was bluntly honest, never sugarcoating any form of bad news, well known for his loose tongue and ways to negotiate. You adored him for this.

Because even if he didn't want to hold that title, he would always be a king in your eyes.

It had been only a day after his departure, and you already missed him dearly. The youngest of the clan asked about him with excitement, unbeknownst to your sorrow as it reminded you that two days were still a long time. Yet you smiled brightly as you told them stories about their leader, tales of how he had fought in the last war, bravely defending their unborn lives from any harm and saving their parents. The kids always saw him as a grumpy man, yet you could also spot their respect and awe whenever he joined your tales. He truly was a hero, wasn't he?

As Jungkook landed skillfully, making the kids jump up and run towards him as he looked at you with overwhelmed eyes, you knew that something was up. "Kids, don't hog him like that please." You said, and they seemed to groan at that, already sensing that today he wouldn't play with them. "Go inside and continue your drawings. I'll be with you in a minute, alright?" You said, trying not to make them worry. They thankfully didn't seem to notice.

"They're readying horses and spears." Jungkook said in a hushed tone, and you felt your heart drop a little. "Please, Y/N, you have to let me get Yoongi back. It's obvious what they're doing!" He said, and you bit your lip, looking at the children for a moment, before you opened your mouth for an answer which never came.

Because a flaming arrow buzzed past both of you, missing you both only by a hairs lenght- lodging into a tree behind you, Jungkook immediately moving you behind him as his eyes stared at the flames slowly eating away at the tree's bark.

'And with the flames overtaking a tree growing on stone beneath, the hunt will start for the day of season.'

They really did break their promise.

The day had started so beautifully as well, with the soft breeze of the beginning winter, a time of shared flames and cozy caves where you’d lay with your loved ones and watch nature drown the earth in its white frost to sleep, or in your case, covered under blankets craving the company of your mate. But the Kingdom of Men had been experiencing a famine worse than anything they’ve did before, and desperate as ever they’d decided to hunt whatever they would see fit. Your Clan had tried to convince them to stop their greedy hands, to help them realize that this needed to happen to help the environment recover and heal, yet the only thing it did was fuel their anger. Humans were easily blinded by their own needs, seeing nothing but their own benefit worth fighting for. But what they saw as honorable your kind saw as plain stupid and heartless. But the only thing they seemed to be able to do was take.

And take they did.

The clapping of horseshoes increased in the distance as you locked eyes with another mother, silently giving her the order to evacuate the children to safety- fear in her eyes as she tried to keep the youngest of the clan calm enough to move without much resistance.

You flew over the mountains, trying to keep an eye on the various mothers ushering their children into the deeper caves, others closing them with the largest rocks they could find to keep the men armed to the teeth from entering and stealing their young. You wanted to weep at the sight of spears being thrown and arrows being shot- yet you had to get a grip of yourself. This was not about you; this was about the bigger picture.

"Jungkook!" You roared, claws the color of white moonstone grabbing onto the edge of a cliff to hold onto it as the only slightly older dragon turned his head towards you, desperate eyes finding yours. "Help secure the lower territory! Don't let them get to the safety tunnels!" You yelled, nodding as he did the same, trying to ask you for Yoongi, yet you didn't give him enough time already climbing up to get a better view on the situation. Jungkook himself growled frustrated, as he turned around, letting himself fall down for a moment to aim an attack on a group of soldiers dangerously close to one of the closed caves. You had to save everyone. You had to.

Yoongi had always mocked you for your overly motherly instincts for the clan, even though you were even younger than Jungkook- the so called cub of everyone, with his youthful charm and playful character. You were a gentle dragon, too good as Yoongi always said. And it was true- you were horrible at fighting, scared of even attempting difficult flying maneuvers like others did, glad that you could hold yourself up in the skies. Your scales were never meant to protect you, your claws never given to you for war.

You didn't get to think much about that though, the sign you tried sending to your lover promptly interrupted.

It stung, no, it burned, it felt like the act of ripping your own wing off of your back would’ve hurt less than what you were feeling. One, two, three, four- the way you felt every arrow bury itself into your flesh made you cringe and yell in pain as the flight became too heavy to handle, making you fall down like a rotten apple, tumbling over the rocky ground like moldy fruit. The fall hadn’t been high enough to cause any critical damage, yet you had felt the way the force of gravity pushed and pulled on your body on its way down, sticks and stones ripping on your flesh.

This was it. This was the beginning of your fate. And you had seen it in those cold eyes of the metal-clothed men holding their spears straight at you in a way that reminded you of mockery; they were celebrating already, when your blood hasn’t even stopped running out of your wounds.

You got up, scales tainted red as you swung your claws left and right, trying to escape the ropes being tossed over your body, pulling on your skin underneath the layer of protective scales, as you heard Jungkook roaring in the background, trying to reach you before it was too late. "Don't!" You roared, a language only you and him understood, and he knew better than to question you. It pained him dearly however, as he had to watch them break you down, the poison arrows finally weakening you enough to let go of your dragon form, now barely distinguishable from the humankind hurriedly binding your hands behind your back, immobilizing you for transport. You hope for your last call to be received by your mate, as your eyes slowly close, the hunt ending with the shouts and cries of the soldiers, the first snowflakes slowly falling onto your bruised skin.

What you can’t see as they’re throwing you on the wagon that’s being pulled by two anxious horses is, how Yoongis eyes widen miles over miles away on his hunting trip with the Kim Clan; how he suddenly drops to his knees, and clenches his heart at the pain your bond is sharing with him. He knows. He does not want to accept it, but he knows, he knows that when he suddenly can’t feel you anymore that they really had done it, that their hunt was over. And his soul screams out to you as you’re being taken further and further away from him.

But soon enough this pain turns into fiery anger, as he realizes what exactly had happened. The kingdom had officially broken their Promise.

So how about he breaks his as well?

Down in the cold chambers, you couldn't feel anything at all. The shackles around your limbs weighted you down embarrassingly, yet you couldn't get up even if you wanted to.

They've dressed you in a simple cotton dress, uncaring of your modesty or pride. You did not care if it got dirty- your entire being already burned and bruised, it wouldn't even make a difference. The doors opened slowly, creaking as someone entered, closing the door behind them. You did not look down as you were being taken out of your cell, gaze always straight ahead. It's something that Yoongi has taught you during your relationship; it didn't matter if they broke your body. As long as your soul and mind was intact, they couldn't break you.

So even as you were slowly led through the colorfully celebrating streets, citizens and children happily throwing flowers at the soldiers and staring at you like a rare gem never seen before, you kept your chin high. It didn't matter to you. You could be strong.

"I'm going to burn everything down until nothing is left, I swear-" He fumed, eyes glowing dangerously as Jungkook wept in the corner of the now opened cave, guilt still heavy in his bones. Taehyung, who'd followed Yoongi together with his clanmates crouched down next to him, trying to console his friend- yet without luck. He understood the feelings of the younger dragon, sharing the pain almost, since his bond with you was a special one as well.

He loved you dearly like a sister- from the moment you had introduced him to Jungkook, who back then had only been a stray as you called orphaned dragons- raising him as if he was a sibling of yours to be protected. But now that his turn had seemed to be, he couldn't do anything to save you. And it burned in his veins like poison injected.

"Stop fucking blaming yourself." Yoongi growled, clearly hearing the younger ones thoughts. He couldn't control it at the moment, as everyones emotions were scrambled up and shattered like glass.

"Yoongi, I know you don't want to hear it-" Seokjin, the older dragon from Namjoon's and Taehyungs clan said, as Yoongi snapped at him.

"You're right, I dont." He said, eyes piercing and sharp.

"If you start a war right now, we will ultimately loose. You know this; don't do something irrational now." He said, trying to talk to his younger friend.

"How is saving my mate, my love, irrational? Are you fucking listening to yourself right now?!" He yelled, making the youngest of the group hiccup on his tears, Taehyungs hand ever so present on his back, desperately trying to calm him down.

Seokjin sighed. "I know how you feel, please. They will use her against us- she won't survive a fight." He said, and yoongi, for once, stayed silent. Because this was the ultimate truth- every war he'd start now would end with him having to kill you one way or another. And he knew that he could never do that. So he stayed quiet.

Until he lashed out, a harsh growl escaping him as he ran off, his dragonform flying off, thankfully however, not in the direction of the kingdom.

"Jungkook." Seokjin said, gaining the attention of the youngest dragon, red rimmed eyes tearfully gazing at him from his spot in the corner. "Follow him. Keep an eye on him- even if he tells you to leave. He can't be alone right now." He said, and the youngest nodded, sniffling before taking off as well.

"Eat" the guard barked, staring at you. You simply sat criss crossed on the ground, shackled hands on your lap, the carcass of a rabbit in front of you- untouched. If he thought you would behave like an animal he would be mistaken. You could go without food for a couple of days. You were stubborn. "Propably can't even understand a fucking word." The guard barked, chuckling under his breath.

He clicked his tongue after a moment, simply walking to the other cage, holding someone else apparently. He threw a stale looking small loaf of bread between the bars, laughing as it bounced a bit out of reach for whoever was inside. "Have a good meal, witch." He said, walking off with a snicker.

"I prefer the term 'Alchemist', but I guess witch is fair enough." He mumbled after the door closed, voice higher in pitch than Yoongis and Jungkooks. He looked older than you as he moved forwards a bit, form illuminated by the warm glow that shone from a candle close by, but not as old as your mate was- probably Taehyungs age. His silvery hair hung a bit over his piercing eyes, neck painted in the same letters used on his arms. "Jimin." He said, tossing a broken off piece your way, that you took after nodding gratefully.

Witches, or alchemists as they called themselves nowadays were rookies when it came to magic and spells, yet they had a talent for learning quickly. They despised the pure human way, craving a future of equality instead of power. "Y/N." You answered, chewing on the bread, scared to get caught. Jimin nodded, sending a smile your way. Names were always the same in every language.

"I'm to be hung on the next full moon." He said with little remorse or sadness, taking your nod as a form of telling him that you understood his words. "Until then, I can keep you company if you want." You looked at him, suddenly feeling for him, even though he was of the same species who threw you into this rotting cage in the first place. He was deceived by his own race, making him an outcast. If you could, you would love to help him, save him, yet you could hear Yoongis words echoing in your head.

'you can't save everyone.'

"leave me alone, brat." He scoffed, claws heavy on the crunching snow underneath him. The younger one didn't leave, merely falling back a few steps to give him space. "I said leave me the fuck alone Jungkook-" He growled, as he turned around, watching and cutting himself off in his words as he saw the younger cower. He was submitting. Apologizing.

"No. She told me to leave too, and look where that lead us!" He whined, voice still distorted after his long crying session back at the cave. "I can't leave you too, I can't be alone again, I can't loose you too." He said, large head almost burying itself into the snow, frozen water slowly melting around where his hot breath escaped his lungs. Yoongis gaze softened.

He remembered the way Jungkook had been brought to his clan years ago, orphaned just mere days ago, life suddenly turned around as he had tried to live on his own. He failed, to be fair, but he had never been prepared for the harsh reality that is a wanderers life- which his parents were. And as Yoongi had looked at you, already throwing your own coat over the freezing form of the boy older than you, the fabric of your clothing barely enough to cover his back, he couldn't let him leave like that.

"It's alright kid." He said, sitting down, wings simply laying flat on the ground, looking as defeated as he felt. "You did well." He murmured, and Jungkook began to cry again, feeling unworthy of his older brother's praise as the snowflakes fell onto his scales, some melting, and some of them building up.

Yoongi looked towards the kingdom as the sun slowly disappeared with its fiery glow, wondering if you were alright.

"I've been here before." Jimin said, as you looked into his direction, his snicker not making you feel uncomfortable anymore. "Several times." He admitted, and watched the flame of a single candle standing on a small wooden chair close to the main door flickering. "I got bailed out by my mentor." He said, and you looked at him questioningly. Would this person come for him again? "One day, after I got out, he was arrested." His eyes slowly turned melancholic as he told his tale, now looking at his hands.

"He exchanged my life for his."

You saw how he traced the dark lines on his wrist, and you tapped the thick metal bars in front of you, asking him to hold them up. It was in your own tongue, writings of spells and runes, most of them a bit crooked, but well made for someone who didn't speak it natively. "So? Did I do a good job?" He asked impishly, and you smiled, nodding. You pointed towards yourself, than to him, trying to ask him if he understood the words as well. He nodded. "I haven't heard anyone pronounce it properly though, so I can't promise you that I can keep up with what you say." He spoke.

"That's fine." You said gently, voice a bit raspy from lack of use. He smiled, eyes opening wide in wonder, as if you had just showed him a miracle. You held your bound hands through the bars, as best as you could, trying to reach his. He did the same, fingers touching yours, as your eyes glowed gently, his vision now changing.

He suddenly found himself in the midst of your homeland- not the place you currently lived with Yoongi. Your homeland was far away, an island with delicate nature and a view of the raging seas. Jimin could just stare in awe as he watched other dragons of your kind pass by, dipping into the ocean skillfully before emerging again, chirping unheard melodies of a language he barely understood. He could see seagulls eagerly fetching after the large creatures, as if they were playing a game of hide and seek, living in the same world, coexisting without any form of battle between them. He could spot other dragons residing on the island, human forms of them building away on shacks and shelters, kids running around, chasing each other in playful eagerness.

His eyes watered as you let the story unfold in front of his eyes, boats arriving at the calm and serene scene, expensively clothes men walking over plants and insects without much care, holding maps and plans, excitedly chatting away as nature started to rot behind them, their steps seemingly poisonous as they tried to build and build, killing trees and dragons alike, suddenly wearing their scales as if stolen goods were the new trend in fashion, chaining down others for fun. He could hear their cries, feel their pain, as the scene suddenly shifted to a mother, holding her young cub out to a dark dragon unlike her. Its eyes the color of the nightsky as he took the small body from her, flying off, and taking the vision with him.

"I.." He started, as you simply took back your hands, now looking at his tear stained cheeks. He wanted to apologize, but he refused to let himself be acquainted with these people. No, if they said he wasn't human, that was taken as a compliment for him. He would rather have himself hung with his own beliefs, than accepting that this was what his kind was only capable of. He watched as you turned around, closing your eyes as you tried to fall asleep.

He had to do something.

"Where's Y/N?" a young girl said, running after Yoongi. He turned around, crouching down to her level as he tried to come up with something.

"She's.. uhm..-" He said, before the girl cut him off.

"They say she died, but she didn't right?" She said, tear filled eyes staring at him. He had to swallow.

"Whoever said that is a liar kid. She didn't die.. she just.." The girl nodded seemingly understanding.

"But you're gonna save her, right?" Her face suddenly growing excited. "Cause you're the King, you gotta save the Queen!" She said, jumping up and down, and Yoongi suddenly looked over her head at Jungkook talking to Taehyung.

"You're right." He simply said, ruffling the girls head, before he walked towards the two rookies, determination in his eyes.

This plan was absolutely stupid, he knew that. But maybe he needed a bit of that this time.

#min yoongi #min yoongi imagine #yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi hybrid au #bts suga imagine #bts suga #suga imagine #bts suga x reader #bts imagine #bts x reader #hybrid imagine

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petersasteria · 4 years

Text

Sperm Donor - BFF!CEO!Tom Holland

Pairing: BFF!Tom x Reader (platonic), Pre-School Teacher!Haz x Reader

Requested? Nah.

This is inspired by a movie that I watched a month or so ago x

They're older in this one lmao

* * * *

Life is weird. It starts slow during your childhood and when you turn twenty, you get old really fast. Panic sets in and we all suddenly become aware that we haven't done anything significant or life-changing. That's the reason why people make weird and quick decisions like: dyeing their hair a crazy color or finally quitting the job they had since they were younger. Tom wasn't panicking, though. He felt like he's done everything and he's just relaxing while managing a company he inherited. You, on the other hand, were panicking. You're already twenty-seven and you haven't done the most basic shit in life.

You already traveled around, partied, made out with strangers, having one night stands and never seeing them again, dyed your hair, etc. But after your check up from the doctor, you realized that it was time for the next step; the more serious and mature part of life. Your best friend, Tom, was still stuck in the immature part of life and you didn't want that.

Both of you were really different. At this day and age, he still wanted to do all the things both of you did when you were eighteen. Meanwhile, you've been thinking about settling down. The only problem was, you weren't dating anyone. It was totally your choice to be single, but now you wanted that to change.

You invited Tom for lunch after your check up and he happily agreed. He hasn't seen you for a long time due to him being busy. He really missed you. You went straight to yours and Tom's favorite restaurant after the check up and ordered for the both of you while waiting for him. He was a little late, because he arrived when the food arrived.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, love." He leaned in a pressed a light kiss on your cheek before sitting across from you. He loosened his tie and smiled when he saw his favorite food. He glanced at you, "Thanks for ordering."

"No problem, Tom." You playfully rolled your eyes. You took a bite of your food and cleared your throat, "So, how've you been?"

Tom looked at you as he chewed his food and shrugged, "Busy as always, but I'll always make time for you, darling."

"What are your plans?" You asked.

"Plans? For what?" Tom furrowed his eyebrows. You took a sip of your drink and said, "You know, life plans. Are you planning on settling down soon or something? Are you going on dates?"

Tom scrunched his face and quickly shook his head, "Darling, you of all people should know that I don't go on dates. I prefer sleeping around with no strings attached."

"But surely you'd want to settle down, right? Like, get married and have kids?" You trailed off. Tom just looked at you and put down his utensils, "Alright, what's going on? What's with the questions?"

You pursed your lips and stayed quiet.

"Oh, you won't say anything? Then I won't stop staring at you." Tom challenged and Tom doesn't back down at any challenge. You just shrugged and ate your food. Tom gave you a sly smile and continued to eat his food too, his gaze not leaving you.

After a few minutes, you felt creeped out and groaned, "Fine! You win!"

Tom grinned in victory, "So tell me what's wrong."

"I want to settle down." You said sternly as you looked at Tom with a serious look on your face. Tom's jaw dropped in shock.

"Are you serious??" Tom asked.

You nodded.

He chuckled, "Y/N, darling, you're a teacher for kids and it surprisingly pays well, but aren't you sick of seeing kids everyday? Besides, if you settle down, I have no one to go to parties with!"

"But we're getting old, Tom!" You whined. "And kids are actually cute!"

"You despised kids when we were twenty." Tom pointed at you.

"That was seven years ago! People change, Tom." You sighed. "Why are you so against it, anyway?"

"Because you're my ride or die! You're basically my soulmate at this point." Tom said and you nodded.

"I don't see why that has to change."

"It will change, because you won't have time for me. Then when we finally hang out, you'll talk about your baby and shit." Tom frowned. "How can we attend that party in Prague next week, if you're settling down?"

"I mean, w-we can still go." You told him.

"How will you even settle down?? You're not dating anyone." Tom challenged again.

"Sperm donor." You told him boldly and he gasped. He was surprised, because he didn't exactly imagine you having babies that way. Heck, he didn't even imagine you having babies at all. He still thought that both of you wouldn't be settling down.

"Are you for real?" Tom whispered after a moment of silence.

"Yup." You breathed.

"Oh dear god, Y/N." Tom rubbed his face. "Are you out of your mind? Just get a boyfriend."

"No fucking way. I want kids now."

"Do you even have anyone in mind??"

"I originally thought it to be you-"

"No way! I hate kids." Tom glared.

"I know, that's why I changed my mind. I've decided that my sperm donor would be Harrison." You proudly claimed with a smile. Tom stared at you and laughed, "As in your colleague? Isn't that against rules or something?"

"There are no rules, Thomas." You rolled your eyes. "I'm doing this whether you like it or not."

Tom put his hands up in surrender, "I won't stop you. It's your body; your incredibly hot body. Are you sure you want to ruin that by having kids?"

"Tom." You glared.

"Alright, I'll stop. 'M sorry, darling." Tom snickered and continued to eat his food.

"Can you believe that she actually wants kids? It's so weird, Sam! You should've seen her." Tom said as he took a sip of his beer.

He was visiting Sam to confide in, because Sam was the first one to have a child. Sam looked at him and chuckled, "Kids aren't that bad."

"They're whiny and needy." Tom pouted.

"And so were you when you were a baby. All babies are like that." Sam said as he looked at his one year old son who was playing with building blocks on the living room floor.

"I don't like them. That's final." Tom huffed.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you saying you don't like your nephew?"

"Okay, he's different. He's family and-"

"Yeah and your future kids will be family too!" Sam laughed.

"I just don't want kids, okay?! Why does everyone pressure someone to have kids anyway? I'll just be your son's undeniably rich and handsome uncle who's super cool and spoils him." Tom said.

Sam laughed so hard at his claim. Tom frowned as he looked at Sam. He meant every word he said. Sam wiped away the tears in his eyes and calmed down, "I laughed, because you thought you were handsome. Everyone knows I'm arguably the best looking Holland."

Tom snickered, "Calm down, Sammy boy. You're not mum."

"Touche."

"Tom! I'm so glad you could make it!" You smiled when you saw him through the crowd. Tom smiled and kissed your cheek, "You know for someone who's trying to get pregnant, you're not boring at all."

You playfully slapped his arm and pointed at the paper bag he was holding, "What's that?"

"A gift for you." Tom handed it to you. "It's weird how you're having a pregnancy party thing when you're not pregnant; not yet, at least."

You took the paper bag and put it on the gift table, "Well, it's not wrong to celebrate."

"That's true and we both no I love alcohol." Tom smiled and grabbed a bottle of beer.

"I'm surprised you're not an alcoholic."

"Same here, darling."

A few moments later, Tom was already drunk and he saw Harrison. He decided it would be best to formally meet the father of your soon to be child.

"Hey mate." Tom greeted with a big grin. Harrison looked at him and nodded.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow.

Harrison chuckled, "I do. It's just that I can't believe this is happening."

"How'd she get you to do it?" Tom asked. "I'm curious, because if I'm being honest with you, even if she flashes her boobs at me, I'd still say no."

"Well, she and I really like kids. Then she brought up the idea and I thought it was cool. She then asked me if I wanted to do it. In my head, I said no, but the more I thought about it, the more I started to agree."

"And you agreed? Just like that?" Tom asked in surprise.

Harrison nodded, "Yeah. We even talked about the visitation arrangement and stuff and that she'd live with me when she's on maternity leave so I could help her around and stuff."

"Holy shit. You guys are prepared." Tom chuckled. "I'm actually impressed. Why don't you start dating and be an official family?" Tom joked.

"I would be lying if I told you that I haven't thought about it before." Harrison confessed. "But I thought she was dating you and I backed off for a while until I dated someone."

"Dated? As in like you're not with this person anymore?" Tom asked. Harrison just nodded. "Then you're more than welcome to date, Y/N! As her bestest friend in the whole wide world, you have my permission." Tom slurred.

"My ex and I kinda just broke up a week ago and it's still fresh and I don't want Y/N to think that she'd be a rebound." Harrison looked down.

"Oh." Tom said. "Well, thanks for not dating her, I guess. At least she wouldn't feel that she was a rebound.

"Yeah." Harrison smiled a small smile.

"Well, I'll go to the restroom, yeah? I'll talk to you later. As her best friend, I feel like I should get to know you more." Tom hiccuped as he stumbled away to go to the restroom in your apartment.

Tom finally made it to the bathroom and did his business. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands with soap and water thrice. No one knew why, but he's been doing that ever since he was old enough to go to the bathroom on his own. It kind of annoyed you, because whenever he was at your place, the hand soap you just bought is already half empty (or half full, depending on how you look at it). You had to get him his own hand soap whenever he was in your place. You even put a label on it.

After he was done washing his hands thrice with soap and water, he saw a little container with Harrison's name on it. He chuckled when he realized it was Harrison's... you know.

"So, these are his best swimmers." Tom drunkenly chuckled to himself. He clumsily took the container and opened it. "Did he fill it up or something?" Tom curiously asked as he took a peek. Due to being really drunk, he was unable to stand still and because of that, the container fell in the sink and Harrison's 'best swimmers' went down the drain.

Tom's eyes widened in horror and he panicked, "Holy shit! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh my fucking god! Y/N's going to fucking kill me."

He paced back and forth in the bathroom until he came up with a plan. A stupid plan at that. He could've made up some shitty excuse that the container fell on its own, but he didn't. Instead, he cleaned the container and sighed to himself. He sat on the toilet and took out his phone to look at something to jerk off to. When he found something, he did his business.

Once Tom was done with everything (including his thing of washing his hands thrice), he finally exited the bathroom.

"Tom, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!" You smiled at him and dragged him to the living room. Everyone was gathered around and Tom started to feel like he was in a cult and you were the leader.

"Okay so, I'd like to say a few words." You started. "Thank you all so much for coming to this party! I appreciate all the gifts already. It's like a baby shower, but at the same time it isn't, y'know?"

Everyone chuckled except Tom. He was already kind of sober and he couldn't comprehend what just happened in the bathroom. You were saying something, but he couldn't understand it, because he wasn't focused. He finally snapped out of it when he heard Harrison's name.

"Thank you so much, Harrison. If it weren't for you, my dream wouldn't come true." You smiled as Harrison chuckled.

'Oh god. I'm so sorry, Harrison.' Tom thought.

"Lastly, I'd like to thank Tom." You looked at him with a bright smile. He couldn't help but return it. "Thank you for being supportive about this. You're the best. I love you." You added.

Tom chuckled nervously, "I love you too, darling. I want you to be happy and if having a baby makes you happy, then who am I to go against it?"

You grinned and pulled him in for a hug. Everyone around you clapped. Tom hugged back, but his thoughts were running wild.

'Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I ruined it.' Tom thought.

The next day, he didn't go to work. He went back to Sam's place which was weird, because it was early in the morning. Sam was awake anyway, because he was cooking breakfast for his fiance and son.

As soon as Sam opened the door, Tom went straight in. "Um, sure. Come in and make yourself at home." Sam said sarcastically as he closed the door. He followed Tom to the kitchen and asked why he was there,

"I fucked up." Tom said.

"You always do, but what did you fuck up this time?" Sam asked as he fried the bacon.

"Y/N's pregnancy." Tom bit his lip.

"What do you mean by that?" Sam questioned as he glanced at his older brother for a second before turning back to the bacon.

"I, uh, fuck. Um, I don't know how to say it."

"Just spit it out, man!"

"I'm going to be the father of her baby." Tom spat.

Sam quickly turned off the stove and fully gave his attention to Tom, "What? How? Why? I thought that guy Harvey-"

"Harrison." Tom corrected.

"I thought that guy, Harrison, was the dad?" Sam asked in confusion and slight panic.

Tom groaned and rubbed his face and crossed his arms, "I may or may not have accidentally opened it and it fell in the sink and his sperm is most likely swimming through the pipes as we speak."

Sam's jaw dropped, "Holy fucking shit. Did you tell her?"

"Um, no? Was I supposed to?"

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Of fucking course you were supposed to tell her!" Sam gasped. "Sometimes I even wonder why you got the company."

Tom glared at him and Sam shrugged, "You need to tell Y/N or she'll murder you."

"She'll get mad." Tom whined.

"She'll get even more mad if she finds out after the baby comes out and it looks like you!!" Sam pointed out. "Harrison's fucking blonde, mate."

"How'd you know?" Tom asked.

"Y/N showed me his picture after you told me she was getting a sperm donor." Sam explained but shook his head. "Wait, we're getting off-track. She'll be fucking shocked and confused if the baby won't look like Harrison."

"Oh my god. I never thought of that!" Tom bit his nails in panic.

"You idiot!" Sam shrieked. He still couldn't believe it. The two brothers stood there in silence until Sam decided to break it.

"So, um, welcome to fatherhood?" Sam said but it ended up like a question. "You know, what if it doesn't work the first try?"

"That could happen?" Tom asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Sam nodded, "Yeah. It's normal. She could ask Harrison again if it doesn't work and then you're back to your bachelor life! For now, it's time for the waiting game."

"Alright. Let the waiting game begin." Tom sighed. It was selfish of him, but he really hoped it wouldn't work.

"Tom!" You smiled through the phone.

"What? I'm kinda busy at the moment." Tom said as he typed away on his laptop and put you on speaker. "You're on speaker. Just tell me the thing you have to tell me."

"I'm pregnant!" You squealed.

"Oh shit!" Tom said loudly and put his head in his hands. His life was officially over.

"Tom?" You said. Tom's eyes widened in realization that he said it out loud, "I meant- oh shit! It actually worked the first time! That's- that's cool! Because you know, sometimes it doesn't work... the first time."

He quickly put you off speaker and pressed the phone to his ear. "So, what's your next move?"

"I'm telling the dad, of course! He'd be so thrilled!" You swooned.

"Y-Yeah! T-That's... yeah, you go do that. I'm really happy for you! It's all working out." Tom said, hoping that he masked his nervousness well. Thankfully, you were too happy to notice and he was glad.

"How-How will you tell him?" Tom asked.

"I'll buy him a mug that says 'best dad in the world!' or something." You giggled. "Both of us have been wanting this."

"Well, why aren't you dating?" Tom questioned. "I mean, he seems like a great guy. I approve of him. He's better than all of your exes."

Tom really meant that. He liked Harrison for you. He thought that both of you would be a great pair. He'd be lying if he said he didn't have romantic feelings for you before, but he realized that it was just strong infatuation. Nothing else. What both of you have was simply platonic.

"He's not ready to date." You explained. "But that's okay, because I'll be having his gorgeous baby! AAAAHHHHH I'M PREGNANT!!!!" You excitedly screamed.

Tom had to put his phone away from his ear so that you wouldn't break his eardrums. He was really happy that you were happy, but he couldn't help but feel scared when you find out that the baby was his.

He put the phone to his ear and said, "Well, good luck on telling him." He smiled, because you finally got what you wanted.

"Thanks, Tommy. Love you!"

"Love you too!" He hung up and quickly texted Sam about the news. Sam replied and texted: "Oh shit lmao good luck, daddy-o!"

Tom sighed deeply at his brother's response before drowning himself in work.

The whole time during your pregnancy, Tom found himself constantly checking on you. Despite the fact that you're carrying his baby, he still didn't like the idea of kids. It was a personal reason and he didn't know why. He was confused.

He remembered the phone call he got from you when you found out the gender of the baby. You were so happy and every time he thought about it, he smiled.

"I'm having a boy." You said happily.

Tom looked at you in shock for a few seconds until his face broke into a smile, "That's great! Wow. A boy."

A son. You're carrying his son and he doesn't know how to feel about it. As your best friend, you kept sending him pictures of the ultrasounds and you told him everything you were feeling during the pregnancy.

Tom did everything to support you, but in a subtle way, of course. You still thought that Harrison was the father of your baby and Tom didn't want to outshine that. He knew that Harrison would be a better father than him, but Tom wanted to be a father to his son too. It was then that he realized he wasn't opposed to the idea of having babies. He was just scared of having them and not being a good father.

But now, he has a son on the way and his son was in his best friend's womb. The person he loved and cared about was carrying his son. He thought it was amazing and for once in his life, he was genuinely happy and excited.

As much as Tom wanted to stay in London and check up on you and the baby, he had to go to New York for business. He doesn't know how long he'll be gone, but he knew it'd be awhile. When he gets back, his son would probably be walking already.

You, Tom and Harrison were at the airport and you were bidding him goodbye. Tom hugged you tight, but not too much, because he didn't want to hurt you.

"I'll miss you!" You cried.

"I'll miss you too! In fact, I already miss you." Tom said, chuckling. He pulled away and wiped your tears away. "Don't cry or the baby will look ugly."

"That's not a thing. You're just saying that." You lightly chuckled.

"Yeah so that you wouldn't cry and it worked." Tom smiled. He turned to Harrison and pulled him in for a hug as well, "Take care of my best friend, yeah?"

Tom was kind of scared to leave you, but he trusted Harrison.

Harrison surprisingly hugged back and said, "I will. You can trust me, mate. I'll call you when I don't know what to do."

Tom chuckled and pulled away, "Feel free to call anytime, then."

Tom didn't have time to say anything else, because his flight was being called. You frowned and said goodbye to him one last time. He waved at both of you and left.

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑...

It's been five years since Tom left and you haven't seen him since. During those five years, you managed to do a lot of things. You gave birth, you started officially dating Harrison, you moved in with him, nailing motherhood, talking to Tom from time to time, etc.

Tom was doing well. He was really happy with all the photos you sent him. He would smile at the photos, but the fact that he was the father of your son was still at the back of his mind. It's been five years and he still hasn't told you. He didn't know what to do, so he called Sam. Only Sam knew his secret, anyway.

"Hey Sam!" Tom greeted with a smile through the screen. Sam smiled at him and waved back. Tom squinted and asked, "Is that Harry?"

"Yeah! Harry's back!" Sam grinned.

"Hey Tom! I missed you!" Harry shouted in glee. Harry has been traveling the world for photography and he decided it was time to go back and slow down, because he was already twenty-nine years old.

"I missed you too, man!" Tom grinned.

"So, Tom... why'd you call?" Sam asked as he fixed his hair and moved a bit so Harry could fit in the frame.

"First of all, I'm coming back home tomorrow." Tom said.

"That's great!"

"We could finally hang out again!"

"Yeah and that's not all." Tom gulped.

"What's up?" Sam asked.

"Um, I still haven't told Y/N." Tom bit his lip.

Sam's eyes widened, already knowing what he was talking about, "WHAT?? IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS, THOMAS."

"Tell Y/N what? What'd I miss?" Harry asked in confusion.

Sam sighed, "Tom's the father of Y/N's baby and Y/N doesn't know that because she knows that the father this whole time was Harrison. I'm sure she's confused after the baby came out, because guess what, Harry!"

"What?"

"Harrison's fucking blonde! And I've seen her son... he fucking looks like you, Tom." Sam said and Tom winced because it was true. He saw the pictures after all.

"Oh my fucking god, Tom. Tell her." Harry said in shock. "If I were Y/N, I'd be pissed you didn't tell me before."

"Yeah, that's what I said five years ago." Sam rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, will you? I'll tell her when I get back. I'll tell both of them." Tom said, mentally preparing himself and his speech.

You and Harrison invited Tom for dinner when he got back and Tom was nervous. He hasn't seen both of year for five years and he just randomly tells you that you and him have a child together.

You opened the door and squealed when you saw him. You hugged him and let him in yours and Harrison lovely home. It was just right for raising a family and Tom mentally cringed when he remembered his speech that he prepared.

"I missed you, Tom!"

"I missed you too, darling." Tom smiled softly as he took a good look at you. "Oh my god. Please don't murder me, but are you pregnant, by any chance? You're glowing."

You giggled and nodded, "Surprise! I'm two months pregnant now and I'm engaged too. Harrison and I decided we wanted the little guy to have a sibling."

Tom nodded, "That's great!"

"Thank you!" You grinned as you led him to the dining area.

All three of you sat on the dining table and all three of you were happily eating. Or maybe just you and Harrison. Tom was just poking his food around.

"I have something to say." Tom finally said.

"Oh, okay." Harrison said.

"What's up?" You asked. "You look like you have a major problem."

"It's about your son." Tom said.

"Caiden? What about Caiden?" Harrison asked.

Tom took a deep breath and took a sip of water before clearing his throat. He looked at both of you, "Please don't be mad, but I've been keeping a secret from you for years now."

"What?" You were confused. Harrison was confused too.

"I'm Caiden's father." Tom said.

"What?" Harrison asked as he looked at you. You looked at Harrison and shrugged, "Thomas, what are you talking about?"

"That night. Your pregnancy shit party. My drunk self did something stupid and-"

"What did you do?" You asked. Tom couldn't read the look on your face.

"I took the container where Harrison's sperm was and I took a peek, because I was- I was curious if he filled the whole container up and-"

"Dude, that's fucking sick." Harrison looked at him in horror.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry!" Tom panicked. "And then I guess I couldn't stand straight because the container fell in the sink and Harrison's thing fell in the drain."

Harrison's jaw dropped and so did yours. Tom bit his lip and sighed before continuing, "And so I cleaned the container and- and I replaced his sperm with mine, thinking it would help."

All three of you sat in silence after that. It was some news. It wasn't good news and it wasn't bad news. It was just... news.

Harrison cleared his throat and said, "I thought Caiden didn't look like me, because of weird genetics or something science related. Because it happens, you know? I heard that there's a really really small percentage that a baby would look different from its parents. Like, being ginger or something like that. So I thought it was that, but now that you said it, it makes sense."

You didn't say anything, because it was hard to process and it was hard to think that he probably kept it for so long.

"Caiden even got your hand washing trait. He has his own hand soap in the bathroom too." Harrison added and pursed his lips.

"Wait. Really?" Tom asked.

Harrison nodded. He looked tensed and you didn't blame him. Harrison wiped his mouth with the table napkin and gave you both a tight-lipped smile, "I'll just, uh, I need- I need some air."

You nodded and Tom closed his eyes and let his head hang low. Harrison stood up from his seat and quickly left to go to the backyard. You looked at Tom and frowned, "I wish you could've told me that same night, y'know? Before I did anything."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry." Tom opened his eyes and looked at you. "You were just so happy and then you had that speech and- I didn't want to ruin that."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Tom said sadly.

"You know, Harrison was upset because Caiden didn't have ANYTHING that resembled him. But he convinced himself that it was okay and it was this science shit that he mentioned. He probably feels like shit right now and I'll just clear my head, okay? I'll talk to you; we'll talk to you." You sighed as you stood up. Tom did the same. He didn't feel welcome. If he were being honest, it didn't feel right for him to sit there after he told you both.

"Thank you for telling us, Thomas. If you'll excuse me, my fiance needs me." You said softly and gave him a small smile before going to the backyard.

Tom looked down and escorted himself out of your house.

Harrison was obviously upset. The son he thought was his turned out to be someone else's. He felt really dumb, but he realized that Caiden didn't have to be related to him by blood for him to treat Caiden like his own son. He didn't see why that had to change. He loved Caiden with all his heart from the second he found out you were pregnant until now. Caiden was still the same Caiden he knew and loved. The only difference was, he wasn't the biological father after all. It was Tom.

Harrison knew you were kind of upset that Tom told you years later, but Harrison knew you didn't regret anything. Harrison didn't regret anything either. He loved taking care of you especially now that you're carrying HIS child this time. Both of you were very sure of that, because you two actually did it.

You still haven't spoken to Tom and Harrison kind of figured out that both of you were stubborn. So, he took it upon himself to reach out to Tom. He asked for Tom to meet up with him and Tom agreed. What Tom didn't know was that Harrison was bringing Caiden with him.

Harrison asked Tom to meet up with him at the park. He asked Tom if they could go for a morning run and Tom said yes. On the other hand, he told you that he was taking Caiden to the park for him to play with other kids. Of course, you agreed.

Tom wasn't there yet when Harrison arrived and he let Caiden join the other kids at the playground. Three minutes later, Tom arrived and asked, "Are we here so that you could punch me in the face or something? Because I think I deserve that."

Harrison smiled and shook his head, "No. My love for Caiden will never change whether I'm his biological father or not. And even if the world turns upside down, Caiden will still know me as his father."

Tom nodded, "I understand and I'm not trying to take him away from you if that's what you're thinking."

"That's good to know, because I don't know what I'd do without him." Harrison smiled and offered Tom to sit next to him. Tom sat down and waited for Harrison's next words.

"I just want to know what your plans are, because he's yours." Harrison said.

Tom shook his head, "Caiden's yours more than he's mine. I'm just a sperm donor if you think about it. But I do want to be part of his life. Maybe when he grows up, he'll understand. I want to help both of you in raising him and I want to thank you both for raising him well. He wouldn't be who he is without both of you and I appreciate that."

"I guess I just want him to acknowledge me as his dad too? Is that wrong? Because I can back off right now and pretend we didn't have this conversation." Tom added.

"No, it's not wrong. You have every right to say that, because you're his real dad." Harrison assured.

"But I can't take care of kids. Heck, I can't even take care of my own nephew before. I've always been the bachelor or the playboy or whatever everyone calls me and I've grown to like it? Like, I genuinely love it and wouldn't change anything else in the world. Caiden's just the cherry on top of it. I hope you don't mind, but uh, since he's kind of my son too..." Tom trailed off and Harrison nodded for him to continue.

"I fixed some papers and signed them. All I need are yours and Y/N's signatures... I want Caiden to inherit my company." Tom said. "No one else will have that but him and I'll teach him the ropes when he's of age and- it would be really nice to have an heir and Caiden's my only heir. I hope you understand."

"I do." Harrison said. "As much as I want Caiden to acknowledge you as his dad, I don't want him to forget about me and to start comparing." He chuckled.

"I won't do that to you or Y/N. I'll follow anything you guys say. So how will-"

"Daddy! Daddy! I found a snail near the slide!" a tiny voice called. Harrison glanced at Tom and grinned before looking at the child. Tom looked at where Harrison was looking at and his jaw dropped. Caiden was a spitting image of him and it warmed his heart.

"Caiden, buddy, I want you to meet uncle Tom." Harrison pulled the four year old to sit on his lap and ran his fingers through the child's hair.

Tom looked at him and smiled and he teared up a bit, "Hey buddy."

"Hi! I like your shirt." Caiden gave him a toothy grin. Tom looked down at his shirt before looking at Caiden, "You can have it when you're older."

Caiden's eyes widened and looked at Harrison who chuckled, "What'll you say, Caiden?"

"Thank you!" Caiden giggled. "I'll play again. Bye!" With that, Caiden got off from Harrison's lap and went back to play with his new friends.

Tom couldn't believe what just happened. Harrison said, "He knows we don't look alike, by the way. He doesn't seem to mind, though. But I know we should tell him as early as now that you're his real dad."

"I'm not opposed with that idea." Tom admitted. The two of them watched Caiden as they changed the topic and talked about life.

𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑...

You and Harrison finally told Caiden the truth. Tom was present, of course. He wanted to see how Caiden will react. Caiden didn't see anything bad about it, though. He loved it even more.

"So, uncle Tom is my real daddy?" Caiden asked one more time and all three of you nodded. Caiden grinned and said, "I have two daddies?"

"Well... yeah." You said with a shrug.

"That's cool!" Caiden giggled. He looked at Tom and pointed at Harrison as he did so, "I call my daddy already. What will I call you?"

"Anything you want." Tom said, not really bothered if he still calls him 'uncle Tom' or not.

"I'll call you papa." Caiden smiled and hugged him. Tom looked at you and Harrison in surprise and both of you just urged him to return the gesture because he wasn't sure.

Tom hugged back and it felt nice. He felt great. He then made a mental note to himself to hug his nieces and nephews.

From then on, all three of you agreed that Tom would have Caiden during Friday until Sunday and on some occasions when you and Harrison were busy. All three of you also agreed that there would be days when all four of you would go out to really bond.

You didn't really wish to have a family like this, but you did and if you were being honest, you wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

* * * *

this is the longest fic I've written here so far omg but i hope y'all liked it

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland @poguesholland @superheroesaremytea @marshxx @ella-whyte

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @petersholland @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shots #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

Text

Ouroboros (S2, E8)

The hiatus almost killed me. So glad we have new content <3

As usual, my time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:04 - That scarf is so extra.

0:26 - OH LOOK THE FIRST SUNSHINE SIGHTING OF SEASON TWO!!! It only took 8 episodes. *insert eyeroll*

0:40 - Ugh. This montage makes me hate Hoxley. He embodies the type of human I abhor: self-important, egotistic, obsessed with appearance.

1:19 - “No I didn’t.” LMAO. Mr. David is so done with Martin’s bullshit.

1:36 - That makeshift shiv in the dude’s arm.....that’s Daryl’s shiv from a few episodes ago right? Am I going crazy?

2:25 - Sooooo Birdie hasn’t left New York? She’s moved into the Milton’s “Murrayville Building”. Huh. Wait. Was Birdie in the house when Malcolm and Ainsley fought? Do you think she heard?!? Birdie might become a problem for the Whitly’s later this season....I hope?

2:43 - Jessica doesn’t know about the contents of the fight. Interesting. How long has it been since the end of 2x7?

2:58 - “I’ll be there at 8.” hahaha OMG. I swear Malcolm was a terror during his ‘rebellious teenager’ phase.

3:38 - Yep. This fog horn reinforces the fact that I believe Hoxley is a dick.

3:40 - Awww.... the way Malcolm jumps/flinches at the fog horn is both hilarious and adorable.

3:58 - “And who the hell are you?” YES GIL. YES. Don’t let him talk like that to Malcolm <3

4:04 - Duuuuude. Gil looks pissed and scared. He does not like Europol snooping around his crimes. ALSO I’m like 95% sure that Gil knows (or at least has a hunch) that Malcolm is somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. I’m pretty sure Gil is scared that this dude is going to try and arrest Malcolm.

4:07 - OMG. JT is adorable. “You’re that guy. The mind sleuth.” Personal headcanon: JT read Hoxley’s book to try and understand Malcolm better.

4:22 - DANI IS MY QUEEN. SHE IS MY ICON. I LOVE HER SO FREAKING MUCH. “No.” This girl is fierce. <3

4:23 - <3 <3 Malcolm’s heart eyes, head tilt, and visible pride is so so so precious. THIS is why he’s attracted to Dani. She’s not afraid to assert herself.

4:31 - “And then took in his son.” ....Okay, so this infuriated me. Nothing Hoxley is saying is untrue. BUT something about the way he’s saying it just gets under my skin.

4:45 - I think Hoxley is pissing me off so much because he’s psychoanalyzing Malcolm in front three of the people Malcolm trusts and loves most in the world (3 out of a very very short list of people). He’s trying to humiliate Malcolm and I hate it. I hate that Dani, JT, and Gil haven’t told Hoxley to shut up. I hate that Hoxley is trying to drive stakes of doubt into the three people whose opinion Malcolm treasures.

5:25 - “Aim a little lower, Whitly.” and and and.....then Hoxley looks to the team as though he wants them to laugh. I’m furious.

5:32 - THANK YOU GIL. STEER THE CONVERSATION AWAY FROM MALCOLM

6:04 - Malcolm is so obvious. There’s no way that the team doesn’t know that he was involved with Endicott’s murder. If they didn’t before this episode - they HAVE to know now. Right? They’re detectives. Malcolm is a terrible liar.

7:00 - Oh. So now Ainsley cares about the crime. Now it’s “how much trouble are we in”. And let’s be real. Ainsley doesn’t even seem very worried or scared. She’s concerned that the crime will get out - she’s not sorry she committed the crime. She’s not sorry that her big brother tried to take the fall for her.

7:15 - “We said no more secrets.” ...when. When did you two say that? Was there a ‘fight part 2 - the tentative truce’ that we didn’t get to see?

7:33 - A mention of Sophie Sanders. Finally. I still hope she comes out of the woodwork and takes the fall for this. I want more closure on her. Did the team ever find out that Malcolm found her? How did the Eddie murder finally get resolved (I’m not satisfied with the “not every case gets solved” line)?

7:42 - Yo. I don’t care about the time constraint of a 45 minute episode. I don’t care that it was required to move the plot along. The fact that Ainsley starts typing frantically into the computer at about 7:42, stops typing at 7:47ish and has found at least 4 different articles relating to murdered random people (who apparently helped hide Endicott’s body?) is SO UNREALISTIC. I just can’t. I can’t suspend my disbelief on this one. The article headlines say nothing about ‘couriers’. It’s stuff like ‘Local fisherman found dead’. HOW THE HELL WOULD AINSLEY KNOW THEY WERE HELPING MALCOLM IN LESS THAN 10 SECONDS OF GOOGLING?!? Nope. I can’t justify this one. Fedak - you dropped the ball.

8:40 - Poor Malcolm looks terrified. :(

9:04 - My first impression of Natalie was that she’s a beautiful young lady who seems really sweet and a little socially awkward. Kudos to the actress.

9:41 - Another mention of Sophie. God - I hope she becomes a twist in this season’s storyline. I’m not content with how her story arc ended.

10:21 - “I didn’t have anything to do with Endicott’s death and neither did Jessica.” Yep. Gil definitely knows (or at least suspects) that Ainsley and Malcolm are somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. It’s killing me that we’re not getting the big “team and/or Gil find out and/or confront Malcolm about it” moment.

10:31 - OMG. Alan Cumming’s eyebrow wag here. hahahahaha

10:35 - Look at how pissed off Gil is as soon as Hoxley suggests that he and Jessica have a romantic history. 1) Gil still has it bad for Jessica (and is hurt that she rejected him again 2) Gil’s a pretty private dude and probably doesn’t like his personal business being speculated upon by a total stranger with ill intent 3) Gil is also getting protective of the Whitly’s. Not just Jessica but Malcolm (and maybe Ainsley) too.

10:58 - Europol agents aren’t allowed to make arrests?!? THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF HOXLEY’S CHARACTER?!? TO DRIVE DOUBT INTO THE MINDS OF THE TEAM WITH REGARDS TO MALCOLM?!? FOR REAL. WHY?! TO FORCE GIL TO ARREST MALCOLM AND AINSLEY?!?!

11:08 - “To watch you put the cuffs on Mr.Endicott’s killer. Deal?” “Deal.” oooooooohhhhhh no. I do not like the foreshadowing here. If Gil has to arrest Ainsley and/or Malcolm.....idek. Part of me wants to watch it for the emotional whump (of all parties - including Jessica). Part of me wants to ugly cry at the thought of it though.

11:39 - “How do you know so much about yachts?” ....THANK YOU JT. DANI HAS A STRANGE AMOUNT OF NAVAL KNOWLEDGE IN THIS EPISODE AND WE ALL KNOW “I watch a lot of Below Deck” IS UTTER HORSE CRAP. Ugh. I want to know more about Dani and JT’s personal lives. So. Badly.

11:44 - <3 <3 <3 The look Malcolm and JT exchange when Dani claims that she watches a lot of Below Deck is absolutely precious. It’s like they’re best friends and/or brothers. They both knew Dani was lying. <3

11:54 - “At least he’s the real deal.” Ouch. I honestly can’t tell if JT is just teasing Malcolm here or if JT genuinely believes this. ....Is this JT’s way to letting Malcolm know that he has suspicions about his involvement with Endicott’s death?

12:06 - “Says the guy who bought his book.” HA. Dani is on fire this episode. The snark queen. Look at how pleased Malcolm is that Dani is defending him. <3 Warms my cold dead heart.

12:09 - annnnndd now JT is definitely teasing Malcolm. “What our boy Bright needs is a moniker.” hahaha watching Dani and JT come up with stupid profiler monikers was so cute. I love it when the team gangs up to (lovingly) tease Malcolm.

12:30 - “No. Nothing yet.” Again - Malcolm is a terrible liar. The team must know that he’s involved with this thing. They’re detectives.

12:59 - Martin’s physical reaction to Malcolm saying, “No. That woman does not deserve to die.” Is HILARIOUS. Martin is so freaking desperate for Malcolm to become a serial killer that he doesn’t even care the Ainsley has already murdered someone.

13:19 - “He has a perfect track record.”.....what? So does that mean he’s solved every case he’s ever worked on? Taken credit for solving every case he’s ever work on? Hand picked the cases he works on so he knows he can solve them? Probably a combination of the above. Sometime about Hoxley reminds me of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter. You feel me?

13:23 - The fact that Tom Payne (a Brit) is being told that Hoxley has “perfect teeth. For a Brit” by a Welsh man is hilarious.

13:34 - Does this fish packing joint have no security?!? Like Malcolm didn’t have to pick a lock or anything. He just walked right in (and he’s not being quiet).

13:51 - “I can think ruthless. I don’t know if I can be ruthless.” THIS. THIS is Malcolm in a nutshell. Think about Nicky Covington. Malcolm wanted to act ruthless but he couldn’t. He ended up saving Nicky because he couldn’t go through with his ruthless plan. That’s the difference between Malcolm and (quite frankly) the rest of his family. Jessica, Martin, and Ainsley can all be ruthless. All of them. Jessica on a lesser degree but Martin and Ainsley are confidently ruthless. Often.

13:57 - Ok. For real though. HOW HAS NO ONE OVERHEARD THESE PHONE CALLS BETWEEN MARTIN AND MALCOLM. THE PHONES HAVE TO BE TAPPED RIGHT?!? IN A SECURE MENTAL INSTITUTION FOR MURDERERS?!? and I stg that Mr. David knows things. That man is not a moron and he’s pieced stuff together (not from this scene obviously, but still).

14:13. - “Why don’t I break out.” The fact that Malcolm hasn’t mentioned that Martin wants to escape to anyone (since 2x4) is really stressing me out. I know Martin’s going to break out - the promos have made that very obvious but I’m still anxious about it. Mostly I’m worried for the health and safety of Malcolm (and Gil, Jessica, Dani, JT, Edrisa...).

14:17 - “We all go on the run together.” Martin is delusional. He thinks that the whole family will go on the run with him?!?!? He might be able to convince Ainsley. He might be able to blackmail or threaten Malcolm. BUT Jessica? She’s not going willingly. Hell - she might kill him herself if Martin escapes and tries to come near her (which.....I would actually kind of like to see).

14:48 - The fact that Malcolm apologizes to a corps is so precious. Really reinforces the fact that Malcolm is not a killer.

15:00 - Oh look. Another scene for Malcolm’s nightmares. “The time I cut off a dead guy’s thumb to protect my sister”

15:24 - annnndd Malcolm is really close to having a panic attack. Look at that face. :( Someone give this guy a hug. Please.

15:34 - Where the HELL is Edrisa!?!?!?

15:42 - Malcolm, you utter moron. What possessed your stupid ass to show up at a crime scene with a soaking wet arm and draw attention to your arm by shaking it?!?! WHEN THE BODY WAS JUST DRAGGED OUT OF A VAT OF WATER. AND YOU TAMPERED WITH THE BODY?!!? YOU DUMBASS.

15:52 - This is Gil - terrified. He’s scared because 1) he knows Malcolm is lying , 2) he’s concerned for Malcolm’s mental health and 3) he’s starting to think that either a) Malcolm killed this guy, b) Malcolm knows who killed this guy and is obstructing justice, or c) Hoxley is going to pin this on Malcolm and Gil won’t be able to save him.

16:14 - “I’m never buying frozen fish again.” hahaha Dani is killing it this episode. <3

16:23 - Check out how Gil is staring at Malcolm. Gil totally thinks Malcolm has the thumb.

16:50 - “Older model” Shit. Seriously? Are finger print scanners on phones old?!? My phone isn’t that old......I got it 6 years ago?

17:16 - MALCOLM IS A TERRIBLE LIAR. Honestly, the pure terror on his face throughout most of this episode screams “I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE MURDER.” If the team hasn’t pieced this together yet they’re not worthy of being detectives.

17:29 - I’m not going to lie. I had to fast forward through the Martin/Capshaw scenes for the rewatch. I find them so upsetting to watch. I just can’t do it more than once. Their whole dynamic is gross, creepy, and just ugh.

20:00 - Jessica and Hoxley talking about Endicott’s death is so satisfying.

20:35 - “Jessica Whitly. Played for a fool. Yet. Again.” Ok Hoxley. You are not allowed to disrespect my girl Jessica like that.

21:10 - The biggest problem with Jessica and Gil’s “mock interrogations” by Hoxley is that neither of them mention Ainsley or Malcolm. It’s super suspicious. They mention other people by name. People who should be connected to Ainsley and/or Malcolm given the context of the sentence. Hoxley is a moron for not nailing Ainsley and Malcolm for the crime during this episode. It’s so so so obvious.

21:19 - hahahahahahahaha Jessica grabbing the martini out of Hoxley’s hands. hahahahaha I stan.

21:35 - annnnnd Jessica is a terrible liar as well. Seriously - why doesn’t she just say “ENDICOTT WAS KILLED OVER HERE!!”. Another parallel between her and Malcolm though. Malcolm + Jessica can’t lie well. Ainsley + Martin are expert liars.

22:54 - Again. Ainsley is intrigued at the fact that Malcolm has a thumb in his freezer. Much like Martin would be if he knew. Jessica on the other hand shares Malcolm’s fear and disgust about the situation.

23:00- “We”?!!?!? AINSLEY YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING. MALCOLM HAS BEEN COVERING FOR YOUR ASS. YOU JUST HAVEN’T TURNED YOURSELF IN AFTER YOU REMEMBERED. THAT’S YOUR ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO THE “KEEPING ENDICOTT’S MURDER A SECRET” SITUATION.

23:07 - “Do you even see what you are doing to him.” This line both terrified and delighted me. On one hand - I’m grateful that Jessica can see how much emotional pain Malcolm is in because of this situation. One the other hand - Ainsley looks pissed that Jessica is blaming her for Malcolm’s general brokenness. If Ainsley goes full serial killer - Malcolm is going to be on her list. “The brother that overshadowed her.” “The favourite child” “The reason she had to be a perfect daughter” “The reason she was ignored”

23:32 - “Got it.” Damn. Ainsley is bitter. She wants to control this situation. She doesn’t like taking orders from Malcolm.

25:00 - MR.DAVID IS RIGHT THERE. IF HE DOESN’T BLOW THE WHISTLE ON THIS I’M GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED.

25:12 -”The Brain Fart” hahahahaha OMG.

25:53 - “You’re being rude Hoxley.” ......Martin being the nice guy? I’m genuinely disgusted.

26:26 - “Your son Malcolm.” THIS. THIS is why Ainsley is so pissed off. Everyone has always thought Malcolm would turn out like Martin. Ever since they were kids. She’s pissed off that no one considers her to be a threat. They’re all concerned for and scared of Malcolm. Not her. She’s invisible. Why do you think she became a TV reporter? To force people to see her.

26:50 - I’ve never wanted to Martin to kill anyone more than I have in this moment. I do find Martin’s protective love for Malcolm interesting though.

27:37 - How long was that phone in water before Malcolm grabbed it?!? Anyone ever drop a phone in water? I don’t care how much rice you have. It’s toast 90% of the time.

27:44 - Malcolm explaining murder to Sunshine is so cute.

28:22 - And my heart rate has skyrocketed.

29:10 - “To protect your sister.” Huh. I find it interesting that Hoxley has considered that Malcolm may have killed Endicott to protect Ainsley. It suggests that he thinks Endicott was a threat to Ainsley alive. Makes me wonder about what happened to Ainsley before Malcolm got back to the house in 1x20.

29:16 - “You all had something to gain.” Did they though? Martin had something to gain - keeping his cushy Claremont cell. Ainsley had something to gain - “A news story.” Jessica had something to gain - “safety”. But Malcolm? He didn’t personally have anything to gain. He wanted his Mom and sister safe but he never thought about himself.

30:11 - “Perhaps the murder weapon is still among your mother’s silver.” I find it interesting Hoxley has pieced that together. I also find it highly unbelievable but that’s just me.

30:15 - Hoxely, rich people don’t carve their own Christmas roasts. The Whitly’s have staff for that.

30:24 - “You’re still just a scared little boy. Hungry for daddy’s love.” Ouch. It’s true but it still hurts. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state. At all. Istg if we don’t get a Malcolm mental health crisis soon I’m going to have my own mental health crisis. Seriously. I want to see this boy lose it. I’m a monster. I know. I want ugly crying. I want panic attacks. I want him to go catatonic. I want someone to comfort him.

32:35 - Nat’s a good liar. Very convincing. Too bad Malcolm’s a good profiler.

33:53 - Check out Spider Monkey Malcolm. <3

34:14 - Earlier this episode when Malcolm said he can think ruthless but not be ruthless? This is the proof. He could’ve sat back and let Natalie kill Hoxley. In some ways - it would be good for Malcolm. But Malcolm’s not ruthless. He values human life. He’s an A+ dude. For better or for worse he tries to help people.

34:26 - Really Hoxley? Do you plan on stabbing Malcolm?!? (FYI - this scene is very reminiscent of Lockhart pulling his wand on Harry and Ron in the Chamber of Secrets #justsaying).

34:45 - “I’m going to be killed by a millennial. What a twist.” hahahhahahahahhaa

35:22 - “I’m British.” hahaha I love this scene so much.

37:14 - FINALLY THE PAPA!GIL CONTENT WE”VE BEEN WAITING FOR. (it’s weak but I’ll take it)

37:39 - AHHHH the fact that Gil and Malcolm are both non-verbally communicating that Natalie didn’t kill Endicott is killing me. Does Malcolm think that Gil hates him? Does Gil really think Malcolm killed Endicott? Or just that Malcolm covered it up? I NEED TO KNOW.

37:46 - Concerned!Gil and a hand on Malcolm’s shoulder. <3 <3 <3 My icy heart has melted.

37:54 - annnnnd Hoxley ruins the moment.

39:39 - I’m not content with this ending. It’s all too convenient. Hoxley still thinks Ainsley and Malcolm did it. Mark my words. This isn’t over.

39:53 - Ainsley is so smug here. I want to slap her. She’s elated that she’s getting away with murder. She doesn’t care about how it’s hurting her family.

40:00 - Did they really do the interview inside Jessica’s house?!?! Gross.

40:17- I might be the only one but I love that polo on Malcolm. Something about it is adorable.

40:22 - ......is Ainsley really trying to take credit for “putting this Endicott mess behind us”?!?! Because - she didn’t. OMG. She absolutely didn’t. Even if she did - she’s the reason they’re in the mess to being with!!!!!!! I can’t. I just....can’t.

40:45 - The episode ends right here for me. I know Capshaw and Martin kiss. It makes me want to hurl and I refuse to watch it again. I also know that Capshaw takes the scissors away from Martin. I think their whole dynamic is upsetting and creepy. I’m like 95% sure that Capshaw is a serial killer on the DL. Or at least some sort of psychopath. Martin and Capshaw are both manipulating each other and it’s too stressful to watch.

I didn’t love this episode. It was a bit all over the place. If you stuck around this long - thank you. I’ll see you guys next week. <3

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