#scp 050

[agnol117]

Series I, Part IX

SCP-045 - Atmospheric Converter

I don’t know how to feel about this one. I might actually be too dumb for it, because I read it twice and still only sort of get it. I think it could theoretically ruin the world by converting parts of the atmosphere into water and table salt, but I don’t have enough of a grasp on chemistry to fully understand how severe of a threat it actually is.

5/10

SCP-046 - “Predatory” Holly Bush

This one’s pretty cool. I like both versions of the document. The idea that it tricks people into coming to it is pretty neat, and the idea that there’s some debate about whether or not it’s predatory is actually pretty funny. All told, I just find this one to be fun.

7/10

SCP-047 - Microbial Mutagen

I think this one is neat. I especially like that it doesn’t actually affect humans, but rather works on viruses and the like, and can potentially make them more deadly. It’s good.

7/10

SCP-048 - The Cursed SCP Number

Okay so this one is very funny, but I’m honestly unsure of how to rate it. The problem is, like 036, it’s not really an SCP? It’s more of a meta joke about SCPs? I dunno.

-/10

SCP-049 - Plague Doctor

049 my beloved

I really like this one. Partially because I love the plague doctor aesthetic (I have several plush plague doctors), partially because I love like, pre-modern medical horror (like Bloodborne and Pathologic). But also because the whole vibe here is great. 049 isn’t trying to be actively malicious (maybe it is in some of the tales, but again, I’m not counting those for this project). It’s just a perfect example of what TV Tropes calls blue and orange morality. It is aware of a Pestilence that only it can sense (or it thinks it’s aware of this pestilence, it’s unclear), and it’s trying to save the world from it. The fact that it can’t properly explain the Pestilence, or that the Pestilence may not even exist, isn’t really it’s fault.

10/10

SCP-050 - To The Cleverest

The vibe I get from this one is like, a fairy. You hold onto it, and if you’re nice to it, it does nice things to you, like clean your office. If you do mean things, like abandon it or try to destroy it, it tries to destroy you. It’s cool.

8/10

[bittersweetbonbon]

have yall read this yet? awesome article, 10/10

[sugersnow]

making a meme for every scp every day, day "050"

[butchdykekondraki]

losing my MIND

new favourite scp entry so far: 050 (READ THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT PLEASE it has all of the best doctors)

YESSS 050 MY LOVE !!!!!!! its so . one of the entries ever FOR SURE

[orange1896]

60100002228 60100002229 AF26614 AF26613 AIR FILTER

60100002228 60100002229 AF26614 AF26613 AIR FILTER

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优先阀反馈油管 14401669 FXJBN-00664F 停用-主刀板 29400000961 螺丝刀一字型 29150034531 EGR冷却器至EGR阀连接管总成1207040-B316/B 4110002137050 机丝锥 6390201693 即可佳 0.85kg/瓶 29200009971 P-O形圈GB3452.1-17.0*1.80G 4110001557015 M2X146摩擦片 4110000160002 STICK PAN 26110100411 盖板 29010019251 主控阀找板总成 942314 29220018831 直柄钻头 2090900086 P-前传动轴 14408624 P-传动轴CDZ-558.5 G1900L3244106E3 风扇支架C4932907 29030010071 HOSE 20450756 26020006781 LG956N油缸总成 Read the full article

[phinnsyreads]

Item #: SCP-050

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: So far, all attempts to contain SCP-050 have proven fruitless. Testing to contain SCP-050 has been discontinued at this time. At present, whoever has possession of SCP-050 is to leave it in an office they use with regularity. Attempts to leave SCP-050 in unused offices have resulted in it following its owner home. This is a violation of regulations and not to be allowed.

Description: SCP-050 appears to be a statue of a monkey reading a book, approximately 1 foot tall. On the bottom of the statue are engraved the words "To The Cleverest" in cursive script.

The statue has so far proven resistant to all forms of damage. As such, there is no accurate method to date the object. Attempts to damage SCP-050 have resulted in increasingly lethal 'pranks' on the part of SCP-050. As of this writing, destruction testing is discontinued.

When left alone, SCP-050 has shown itself to be both useful and antagonistic to its current owner (See Document 050). Although never seen to move, no matter the manner or amount of recordings, any room it is left in becomes very clean, to a polish whenever possible. Paperwork is filed, trash is emptied, and in general, clutter is removed. However, SCP-050 also has a tendency to leave traps for its owner, so current holders should carefully check their offices upon returning.

------------

Document 050

"The Great Researcher Prank War"

On 01/██/20██, During an attempted capture of SCP-963 by Chaos Insurgency agents, Dr. Bright made use of 963's intrinsic capabilities to make fools of the attempted kidnappers. When Bright returned to his office, he found a monkey statue waiting for him. His office had been tidied in his absence, and everything filed away, which came as something of a shock for the naturally messy Dr. Bright.

Upon further investigation, it was found that — despite the apparent tidiness of his office — all of his pens had been drained of all but the last bit of ink, and several important documents had been translated into Aramaic.

Dr. Bright immediately began the usual testing of this new SCP, but found himself going nowhere, until Dr. Rights, as payback for something unspecified, smeared his desk with one half of a compound epoxy, and applied the other half of the compound to his utensils. At this point, SCP-050 vanished from Dr. Bright's office, reappearing in Dr. Rights' office, whereupon 050 began the cleanup again.

After several tests, it became apparent that SCP-050 was easily contained, as long as no one outside the Foundation proved to be cleverer than the Foundation scientists. Of course, this led to many of the Foundation scientists seeking to claim the title of 'Most Clever' for themselves.

And thus began the "Great Researcher Prank War."

Memorandum 050-A: No good will come of this. — O5-█

---

Entry 1: Bright  —> English

Dr. English accesses SCP-705. 705 is allowed access to approximately one hundred pounds of similarly colored play dough. After several minutes 'conversation', the new army retreats to the ventilation shafts. No footage of Dr. Bright's room exists, but several hours later Dr. Bright stumbles out, covered in little red welts, and red play dough, swearing and muttering. SCP-050 transfers ownership to Dr. English.

---

Entry 2: English —> Isendorf

At 11:30 pm on ██/██/████, Agent Strelnikov is seen exiting his room in full rage, carrying a machine gun. Smoke pours from the open door of his quarters.

Senior Researcher Isendorf is later found to be in possession of 050, proving that a good enough prank will attract 050's attention no matter the target.

---

Entry 3: Isendorf —> Kondraki

At 10:25 am ██/██/████, Dr. Isendorf returned from a brief coffee break to discover a typed note sitting on his desk, which read.

Dr. Isendorf, It seems there was a problem with the Class-A Amnestic you requested following your SCP-231 assignment. Please hop on the next plane leaving from the site, and wait until someone comes and picks you up so that we can get this all sorted out. Cheers, O5-3.14

Despite factual and stylistic errors in this note (inappropriately informal style, the fact that there is no O5-3.14), Dr. Isendorf apparently took the note seriously and became highly distressed. Dr. Isendorf boarded the next airplane leaving Site-23, which turned out to be a regularly scheduled flight travelling to Site-19.

Dr. Isendorf apparently did not realize this until landing, at which point he still waited over eight hours outside the site, before a guard found him and asked him what he was doing. Dr. Isendorf soon confirmed that he had never been asigned to SCP-231, and quickly worked out what had happened.

SCP-050 was observed in the office of Dr. Kondraki later that same day.

---

Entry 4: Kondraki —> Kald

At 7:28 pm, █/██/2009, Dr. Kondraki was called away by Assistant Researcher Haus, under the pretense of an SCP-173 containment breach. Security cameras recovered footage of the ensuing prank.

Upon returning to his office, Kondraki pauses briefly when he reaches his door. Moments later, he is seen backing slowly out of his office, keeping his eyes fixed on something inside.

It was later revealed that Dr. Kald had placed a replica of SCP-173 in Kondraki's office, positioned in such a way that it faced the door, establishing "eye contact" with whoever might enter the room. Kondraki continued to retreat until slipping on a hitherto unnoticed puddle of cooking oil.

The replica of SCP-173 (made of wire frame, papier mache and spray-paint) was relocated to Doctor Josef Kald's office, shortly followed by SCP-050.

---

Entry 5: Kald —> Yoric

Upon returning to his office on ██/█/2009, Dr. Kald was surprised to find the statue replaced with a note, reading: "I can't believe no one's thought of this!" The statue was later located in the staff locker of Agent Yoric, who had simply stolen it.

---

Entry 6: Yoric —> Kald

Statue returned to Kald. Yoric's living space in utter disarray. Agent Yoric is found unconscious, the words "TO BE EARNED" tattooed in block letters on his forehead through unknown means.

---

Entry 7: Kald —> Light

From ██/██/2009 to ██/██/2009, maintenance teams were called twenty-seven times to Dr. Kald's office while he was out, all having received orders to install, repair, or remove a piece of furniture from the office, apparently at random. Dr. Kald became increasingly paranoid about these intrusions, considering his possession of SCP-050, and at ██:██ of ██/██/2009, decided to bring his paperwork and the SCP back to his quarters and work from there. Upon entering his quarters, Dr. Kald was doused by the contents of a bucket carefully balanced on the entrance's doorjamb.

Ownership of SCP-050 changes to Dr. Light.

---

Entry 8: Light —> Coleman

On ██/██/2009, Dr. Coleman was seen pinning a notice to the breakroom notice board which read, "Due to the effects of SCP-███ all personnel who have received an amnestic of any kind within the past six months are required to report to Dr. Light immediately." This was signed and notarized by no fewer than 17 members of O5 command and senior staff. After seeing this an email was immediately sent out retracting the information and causing mass panic among some of the Foundation’s more paranoid employees. After what can only be described as a "bum rush" on Dr. Light's newly refurbished office resulting in the destruction of many items contained within, SCP-050 was found on Dr. Coleman's desk.

---

Entry 9: Coleman —> Okagawa

On ██/██/2009, Dr. Coleman was called out of his quarters by an email from an unknown source. Five minutes later, security footage showed Dr. Okagawa entering Coleman's quarters, carrying a bag with unknown contents, and leaving the room a few minutes later without the bag.

Upon returning, Coleman discovered a dead rodent which appeared to have been slathered in the secretions of SCP-447. Personnel in adjacent rooms reported hearing a stream of profanity, followed by a thud. Worried researchers found him passed out on the floor, while the slime was later identified as green gelatin from the kitchen, and the "dead rat" as a rubber toy.

SCP-050 was later found in Dr. Okagawa's office.

---

Entry 10: Okagawa —> Chepelskii

Video Log: ██/██/2009, 12:34 PM. Dr. Okagawa leaves for the cafeteria (presumably for lunch/late breakfast). Researcher Chepelskii is seen entering Dr. Okagawa's office, carrying several testing vials and SCP-███. Chepelskii left the office five minutes later, closing the door behind him rather hurriedly.

Okagawa returns ten minutes later, opens the door, and is snagged by a large tentacle which pulls him into the office and shuts the door behind him.

A security team is dispatched to Okagawa's office, and discovers him entangled by a giant squid. The team is seen trying to neutralize the cephalopod and free Okagawa. The animal's remains were subsequently destroyed.

SCP-050 has been located in Researcher Chepelskii's office.

---

Entry 11: Chepelskii —> Jones —> Chepelskii —> Jones —> Bright

Entry 11-1: On ██/██/2012 Researcher Chepelskii came into work at approximately 0800 and promptly received a pie in the face, courtesy of Project Director Jones.

SCP-050 was found on Project Director Jones' desk later that afternoon.

Note: What? That wasn't original at all! — Dr. Bright

- Entry 11-2: On ██/██/2012 Project Director Jones reported to his post researching SCP-███. Upon entering the facility he was met by Researcher Chepelskii, who threw two pies at his face.

SCP-050 was found in Researcher Chepelskii’s office ten minutes later.

- Entry 11-3: On ██/██/2012 Chepelskii entered his office to find Project Director Jones waiting for him with three pies, which he promptly threw at the researcher’s face.

SCP-050 appeared in Jones' workplace that evening.

Note: Guys, I think we broke it. — Project Director Jones

- Entry 11-4: In the middle of the work day, Dr. Bright entered Jones' research lab with four pies, which he threw in his face. As he was leaving security footage records him saying “This better not fucking work!”

SCP-050 was on Dr. Bright’s desk upon his return.

Notes: God DAMMIT — Dr. Bright Okay. No more fucking pies, alright? — Project Director Jones

---

Entry @#: Bright —> SCP-732

On █/██/ 2012, an error occurred in the Foundation Main Database, reassigning System Technician Kent to a squad dea #&@Stoping teh dred lord asaTofh!!1!^)##*@gside the cleaning crews. During the !(*@seging of castul helfire^!(#gnment, Joshua Kent was ordered to !+=`~save th princes aShlye from the barron Blakstaf!!11!2!{\@(aw sewage, with several gallons of feces, ^3~_>,GOLD AND PLATINUM$9(=1#on his head.

During the second half of the assignment, !0&@Sir Ketn and his freinds the magikal night bob*!! had to test several *%@# super majick wepons!)!$ despite the odor. During this time, a routine system sweep had found a(@$!barrel of pur AWESUMNESS@$%@ in the Database. Despite the numerous nearby systems that could have been infected, SCP!)$@-1337 fout the dred lord on a volcanno!!1@(%* concerning System Technician Kent's assignment.

System Technician Kent was returned to Site 23 largely unharmed. SCP-050 was discovered sitting by a hard drive heavily infected with SCP-732, with the statue seeming to consider the virus its new "owner."

---

Entry 13: [DATA EXPUNGED]

---

Entry 14: [DATA EXPUNGED]

---

Entry 15: SCP-732 —> Light

On ██/██/2012, Dr. Light connected the SCP-732-infected hard drive to a scanner, and asked 732 if it could produce "LOLCAT" images on request. Its response, presented in the form of an 8000-word erotic story featuring itself (in the form of a man named "Lord Kickass"), Dr. Light, and [REDACTED], was that with the help of SCP-050 it can do anything.

Dr. Light provided SCP-732 with scanned photographs of several SCPs that take the form of, or can potentially take the form of, housecats, including SCP-577, SCP-529, SCP-607, and two instantiations of SCP-331. SCP-732 produced 10 "LOLCAT" images for each photograph.

Dr. Light then provided SCP-732 with SCP-637 in the form of a drawing by SCP-637-2. As a result of this, SCP-732 was rapidly overwritten with an estimated 63 GB of text describing SCP-637's actions and appearance; whether this information could have filled all available computer memory is unknown, as the last actions of the "Lord Kickass" instantiation were to induce total mechanical failure to its hard drive, accompanied by catastrophic uncontrolled oxidation.

SCP-050 was found in Dr. Light's office the next morning.

Note: SCP-637-2 reports that SCP-637 was not harmed by its venture into SCP-732, but that its fur was "really messed up".

Note: Other copies of SCP-732 seem unaffected by the suicide of "Lord Kickass".

===

[The voice of O5-█ was provided by @lapis-liberalis.] [The voice of Dr. Bright was provided by Brittany Carlton.] [The voice of Project Director Jones was provided by @phantomancer.] [The voice of SCP-732 was provided by @navox-the-weary.]

===

[Enjoy the podcast? Consider supporting us on Patreon! Patrons get access to bonus Joke episodes, outtakes, and can even request episodes on specific SCP objects.]

[thesplendorshow]

Yes Splendorman...But every now and then you have to hide me from the SCP guards...I you wanna know why...I escaped the facility during a containment breach...

i love hide and seek !!! okay, i’ll do it !

[6zalgo9]

Hi...I am Fallen Phoenix....Can you tell rake I said hi

D. Rake:...hi?

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

WHY DE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT! that was a clever joke.....

uwu?

- Mod Heiden

[askdahoodie]

Hoodie...*Puts him in a SCP containment Class D jumpsuit* Wear that for the next 45 asks!

// ok but… why //

[sinsekai20130227]

SCP-3213 SCP-050-KO SCP-735 SCP-3556

[betweenlands]

16 and 18, perhaps?

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

see? i knew i was getting this question more than once. anyway, another character i am Deeply Haunted By is... okay, let's go for a little bit of a deeper cut here.

because the answer is ed. yes, the butcher and/or toolsmith villager from kakujo's minecraft content. good lord is ed a specifically like. fascinating character to me. i could write -- technically i have written -- entire essays about this guy. i think his speaking style is uniquely fun and his character arc is incredible and. yeah Normal Amount Of Emotions

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

77-2 is a hodgepodge of a bunch of non-HC influences -- off the top of my head there's the obvious House Of Leaves inspiration, but the formatting also draws a little from certain SCP Foundation articles (most notably 050 and 3999) as well as being inspired pretty heavily by, uh

a tabletop rpg manual actually? specifically the ttrpg LACUNA Part 1, which is a fantastic (and relatively rules-light) system that i frankly just adore. honestly there's probably more of LACUNA in 77-2 than there is House Of Leaves, at this point.

[bookclub4m]

Episode 113 - Seeking Book Recommendations

This episode we’re Seeking Book Recommendations! We’ve each picked some topics and we’re going to perform Readers’ Advisory interviews to help figure out what titles to suggest to each other.

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | RJ Edwards

Recommendations Wanted!

RJ

An indie tabletop game

Sci-fi/fantasy set in contemporary real world, but the sf/fan elements are NOT secret/hidden/underground

Fiction set at Christmastime/non-fiction about Christmas

Matthew

Slavic/Eastern European Folklore

Horror

Space Opera

Anna

Humanism in/of healthcare

Urban fantasy

Feminist Essay Collection

Meghan

Fiction (not a thriller) that surprises

Poetry

Russian language learning materials

Media We Mentioned

Shadowrun (Wikipedia)

Sleepaway

FATE

GURPS

God's Hotel: A Doctor, a Hospital, and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of Medicine by Victoria Sweet

The Soul of Care: The Moral Education of a Husband and a Doctor by Arthur Kleinman

Black Man in a White Coat: A Doctor's Reflections on Race and Medicine by Damon Tweedy

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk

Your Republic is Calling You by Kim Young-Ha

Meghan discusses this book in Episode 013 - Spies and Espionage

Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie Williams

Curse Workers series by Holly Black

Uzumaki by Junji Ito

Solaris by Stanisław Lem

Solaris (1972 film) (Wikipedia)

The Stand by Stephen King

Hellboy, Vol. 1: Seed of Destruction by Mike Mignola, John Byrne

SCP

Document 050 - "The Great Researcher Prank War of '██"

SCP-087 - “an unlit platform staircase”

SCP-2521

We Need To Talk About Fifty-Five

Top Rated Pages

IRL by Tommy Pico

Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders by Neil Gaiman

The Day the Saucers Came

Mass Effect (Wikipedia)

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White

Links, Articles, and Things

Desert Bus for Hope

Gritty (mascot)

Hark! Podcast

Cyrillic script (Wikipedia)

20 Religious Non-Fiction Books by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) Authors 

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

Decolonial Christianities: Latinx and Latin American Perspectives edited by Raimundo Barreto and Roberto Sirvent

God is Red: a Native View of Religion by Vine Deloria

Orishas, Goddesses, and Voodoo Queens: The Divine Feminine in the African Religious Traditions by Lilith Dorsey

Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson

That Can Be Arranged: A Muslim Love Story by Huda Fahmy

The Color of Love: A Story of a Mixed-Race Jewish Girl by Marra B Gad

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

Lovesong: Becoming a Jew by Julius Lester

Stalking God: My Unorthodox Search for Something to Believe In by Anjali Kumar

Her Name Is Kaur: Sikh American Women Write about Love, Courage, and Faith edited by Meeta Kaur

See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love by Valarie Kaur

In Love With the World: A Monk's Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying by Yongey Mingyur, with Helen Tworkov

The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation by Thich Nhat Hanh

The Four Sacred Gifts: Indigenous Wisdom for Modern Times by Dr. Anita Sanchez

Why I am a Hindu by Shashi Tharoor

The Color of Compromise: The Truth About the American Church's Complicity in Racism by Jemar Tisby

Unashamed: Musings of a Fat, Black Muslim by Leah Vernon

Embers: One Ojibway's Meditations by Richard Wagamese

I Bring the Voices of My People: A Womanist Vision for Racial Reconciliation by Chanequa Walker-Barnes

New World A-coming: Black Religion and Racial Identity During the Great Migration by Judith Weisenfeld

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Twitter or Instagram, join our Facebook Group, or send us an email!

Join us again next week, on Tuesday, November 24th as we give each other the Book Recommendations we asked for this week.

Then on Tuesday, December 1st we’ll be discussing the genre that you chose for us to read, New Weird Fiction!

Finally, on Tuesday, December 15th it’ll be our Best of 2020 episode!

[albapetitcon]

Un style un peu plus simple pour une fois

-

SCP-050-FR : http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/scp-050-fr

SCP-062-FR : http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/scp-062-fr

GdI, SAPHIR : http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/saphir-hub

SCP-060-FR : http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/scp-060-fr

SCP-104-FR : http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/scp-104-fr

[a-safe-and-quiet-place]

SCP-050 "The Monkey Cleverest" Created With: Wombo Dream & [DATA EXPUNGED] ATTENTION ALL DATA TO THIS SCP IS 𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳 CHECK h̶t̶t̶p̶s̶:̶/̶/̶s̶c̶p̶-̶w̶i̶k̶i̶.̶w̶i̶k̶i̶d̶o̶t̶.̶c̶o̶m̶/̶ TO GET ACCESS. #scproject #scp #scpfoundation #aiart #aiartcommunity #aiartcomm #scprojectindonesia #aiartists #scpsecretlaboratory #scpart #aiartist #scpoc #scpmemesarerising #scpstyle #securecontainprotect #anomaly #art #monsters #conspiracy #fanart #fanartist #artificialart #artificialnteligence #scpfanart #scpmeme #wombo #womboai #womboaiapp #scp050 https://www.instagram.com/p/CXEyn4vMoTn/?utm_medium=tumblr