#scp 1459

[puttersmile]

Bobby what is your worst nightmare?

30 Seconds Later

And then she Woke Up! Phew~

Bobby's worst nightmare. She hates Macadamia Nut Cookies!!

She also hates SCP-1459.

[queensparklekitten]

*into SCP-1459* ceaseless watcher turn your gaze upon this wretched thing

[scp-foundation-official]

Rate my X-Sponge: ████████████████████████████ [Redaction Redacted for length]

That's a pretty good samp███ -oh come on you got i█ all over the p███, now h█w are ███ple su████ed to u███████nd th███

[y0d00p]

oh wait i was also going to ask you!!! about some of your favorite scps because i just know your taste in that is going to be fire

okay. somewhat disorganized and arbitrary list of scps i like. i'll try to sort them into some kind of categories

everything in bold has content warnings (other than standard fare violence and body horror) that i recommend checking ("i" button next to the rating module at the top, if it doesn't have an entire splash page), but i may have missed some

everything should link to the correct page but this took me all night to compile and i don't feel like double checking right now lmao

media based because it's one of my fave themes:

1733 2614 3922 1633 5040 3006 5733 4950 1590

murder monsters and other funny guys:

7450 3470 3456 2863 1155 973 4885 3288 1233 4233 1442 3966 3004 6599 1470 (<- spider photo)

places, objects, and happenings:

2740 3737 3636 1459 3799 4001 1730 5000 4231 1555 3034 1602 1893 5140 5868 (<- meat industry/dead cows)

phase one of "words of powers and poison" (no idea about the rest of this hub, i just liked this little series a lot)

almost the entire 2022 anthology (it's been a minute since i read so i don't remember all the ones i liked, but i know there weren't many that missed. "E for eternity" gets a lot of (deserved) praise but i don't see as much talk about the rest of the series)

001 proposals:

d ulysses foole / the great hippo ft peppersghost / arbelict / s d locke / dafydd utica foolfellow / dr clef

tales:

funerals are fun / the last man / eating crow / until death / peace, i would settle for that / treats (<- violence against teens/children)

parawatch:

sunday dinner / the boltmann ambush / parkdev / substation 9 / eye-man / barns from nowhere / tower b / the bathrooms wiki

bonus, a completely unrelated nosleep story about an organization similar to the foundation that i want to share because it has just such a cool interpretation of angels

[pixel-mess]

THEY HAVE SCPS OF THAT???

YES IM ACTALLY LOOSING IT RN I SWEAR!! some of them are actually kind of funny (NOT the part of killing puppies, but like, the way that the machine decides to interpret requests.) but most of them im just sitting there like O-O wtf

(if you want to read the article its right here https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1459) warning for animal death ofc

[puyostim]

yeah, you’re totally going to hell for this. play again?

fav scp stimboard: START

🐕 🕹️ 🐕

🕹️ 🐕 🕹️

🐕 🕹️ 🐕

[mikecrygor]

this fuck has been my favorite scp since i was like 14.

[mylilbirbs]

whoever wrote scp 1459, are you ok????? im not after reading that   

:((((

[fictional-men-enthusiast]

WARNING: IF YOU ARE UPSET OR TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ANIMALS, DO NOT LOOK UP THIS SCP.

To whoever came up with SCP-1459-

you’re an amazing writer and you managed to create one of the most genuinely disturbing SCPs I’ve ever encountered but also fuck you for writing that.

[legendsgates]

Underrated SCP List

I’ve decided to create an updated list of my favorite relatively-unknown skips, as well as other articles I think more people should know about. I’m leaving out the more popular ones like 682 or 049, since it’s easy to find and get info about those. These are SCPs that, tragically, tend to get overlooked.

Normal SCPs

SCP-001 (Dr Mann’s Proposal) The real juicy stuff here isn’t in the file itself, it’s in the attached O5-clearance document. And good lord, the implications give me chills.

SCP-001 (S Andrew Swann’s Proposal) It’s us.

SCP-370 (A Key) Don’t look. Don’t look. DON’T LOOK.

SCP-408 (Illusory Butterflies) The booooterflies! Kondraki’s best friends :3

SCP-413 (Endless Garage) SCPs can play pranks too.

SCP-447 (Ball of Green Slime) Could also be named ‘Too Bad We Can’t Market This’. I would recommend reading the experiment log.

SCP-504 (Critical Tomatoes) You know the trope where bad actors and comedians get tomatoes thrown at them? Well...

SCP-507 (Reluctant Dimension Hopper) Poor 507! He hasn’t been the same since he came back from 99P-UT1-24J. Or 952-7YD-ABBA, for that matter. Read the log!

SCP-597 (The Mother of Them All) This one is either incredibly unsettling, weirdly soothing to think about, or a godawful mixture of both.

SCP-632 (Intrusive Arachnid Thoughts) Arachnophobe’s Worst Nightmare. Don’t read if you’re scared of spiders.

SCP-743 (A Chocolate Fountain) …At least they get a good meal first?

SCP-939 (With Many Voices) Thorough and creepy. Especially 939-101! I can’t tell whether I should be scared or pitying. Do not read if people getting eaten freaks you out, and don’t read the ‘scp-939 reproduction’ page if decapitation (or internal parasites, possibly) is a squick.

SCP-1155 (Predatory Street Art) I would like to see who would win between this and 173.

SCP-1171 (Humans Go Home) To borrow the words of tumblr user @arctic-chameleonus​... my thembro Beauremont got fucking catfished.

SCP-1459 (The Puppy Machine) Once you get past the inherent horror of the scenario, the test log is actually pretty damn funny. Or maybe I’m just nuts.

SCP-1545 (Larry the Loving Llama) Guys, stop calling him by all those different names - his name’s Larry.

SCP-1730 (What Happened to Site-13?) This one is a long, horrifying read - and it’s absolutely breathtaking. If you have time to kill and a taste for human corruption at its worst, come take a look!

SCP-2316 (Field Trip) You do not recognize the bodies in the water.

SCP-2357 (The Perfect SCP) The resignation letter of a Foundation employee... who specialized in memes and infohazards. If you’re not familiar with the Foundation-standard usage of those words, this is an easy and fun article to get a taste.

●●|●●●●●|●●|●

SCP-2662 (cthulhu f'UCK OFF!) I feel so bad for them, they just want to be left a l o n e

SCP-2703 (For a Good Time Call) She’s so friendly and helpful, stop screaming when she appears! You were the one who called her and she just wants to help you have a good time!

SCP-3008 (A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA) It’s an IKEA - a totally normal, nonanomalous one. Not sure why it’s on the site.

SCP-3636 (World's Greatest Jukebox) Please screen the title and lyrics very closely before you try to play anything. And don’t even touch anything on the blacklist.

Joke SCPs

SCP-006-J / SCP-006-CU-EX (WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING / Cuddly Cwawies) BUGS! Read that in whatever inflection you desire.

SCP-048-J (Negative Probability Phrase) I swear, if you jinx us-

SCP-076-J (IN OWN WORDS) Totally not Able, fellow meat-slaves!

SCP-666-J (Dr. Gerald's Driving Skills) OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH FUCK OH GOD OH GO

SCP-900-J (Modern Major Keter-Class) i’m sorry I can’t do this one justice

SCP-1543-J (The Sun Launcher) When in doubt, toss it into the sun.

Group-of-Interest Format

The Serpent’s Hand

A Love Letter to a Lady Mantis - and its sequel, A Wedding Gift for a Lady Mantis! An adorable romance. Don’t read if you’re scared of bugs.

Hello, I am an Eldritch Horror - You'll want to familiarize yourself with SCP-426 (I am a Toaster) first, but this adds a whole new depth to the SCP’s lore.

KoI Format - God is a fish.

Shark-Punching Center

SPC-001, Uncle Nicolini's Proposal... Maybe. (It's Lonely At The Top, says the article third from the top.) Once something becomes too easy it’s not even worth doing anymore, right?

SPC-172-J (”Sword Sharks?!”, Never Bring a Fist to a Spear Fight) Y’all need to update your shark-identification guide, stat. And maybe don’t punch it right where the horn is. However, I must say I like your style of protocol naming.

Story

A Lesson in Power - Broken Masquerade canon. A gun is only so intimidating when you work with SCPs.

Ethical? - Broken Masquerade canon. There’s going to be a change in the Foundation’s hierarchy, now that they’re forced into the light.

Ethics Committee Orientation - Isn’t the Ethics Committee, like, a myth?

Tales of the Ethics Committee: The Foundation Eats Babies - How do you choose who lives and who dies? To quote Agent Strauss, “We’re a bit beyond trolley problems here.”

Termination_Order - How to execute someone who can turn you into spaghetti with a thought. This one gets dark - warning for rape mentions.

Transcript of Dr. Clef's seminar, "Reality Benders and You: How to Survive When Existence Doesn't." - Fucking Clef. That asshole.

Exceptional Cases Which Do Not Quite Fit Into Any Of The Aforementioned Categories

Abundance - this story is actually on the Wanderer’s Library site and doesn’t mention the foundation, but the slowly-growing unease turning to gradual horrified and/or disgusted understanding would make some scp articles proud.

The Ship In A Bottle Hub - Please. Please read it. At least the intro - it will show exactly what to expect.

[Edit: most recent addition to this post can be found here]

[xerxestexastoast]

1459 has some of the funniest (and most unnerving) test logs out there, right up there with the extradimensional vending machine and the whole, uncooked instances of Shia LaBeouf.

[nvummi]

So I watched this Volgun's video about SCP-1459.

I am in dire need of a hug.

[scp-stuff]

SCP-1459

I got to say that i feel really bad for finding this so funny

[handsome-john]

I'm just saying scp-1459 would be super popular in Hyperion

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

1459 is the funniest scp i will not be taking suggestions or criticisms (tw puppy death)

[ndiecity]

the biden administration had an instance of SCP-1459 installed in the oval office