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ooops-i-arted · 4 years

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More Miscellaneous 101 Yoditos AU Things

Given he is responsible for soothing up to 101 children to sleep, Din has absolutely cheated by filling his glove with sand and setting it on them, laying them by his helmet when he’s not wearing it, or taking off his breastplate and setting them on it. It worked a grand total of once for most of the kids. (OG did not put up with that shit at all and definitely stalked over to Dad with a little pouty face and held up his arms to clearly indicate that he expected to be rocked to sleep IN PERSON, thank you.) Now it only works on the 10 youngest babies, but only if they’re really sleepy, so that they fall asleep before they bother reaching out with the Force to sense HEY, THAT’S NOT DAD.

The kids can track him using the Force. Din is their favorite, so of course they are very attuned to his presence in the Force. Din figured this out after several times where he was 100% certain everyone was occupied before he slipped away to take a shower and had barely turned the water on before the kids were trying to beat the door down.

It does end up being a benefit eventually though. Once the kids start self-managing their initial (and understandably significant) separation issues from the first person to actually care about them, the fact that they always know where Dad is, even if they can’t see him, is very reassuring and gives them more confidence that Dad leaving doesn’t mean he’s leaving forever.

Din swears they are using the Force to know exactly how far to push limits before he is about to lose his cool, because somehow they always know when to stop being little shits and instead hug his boot while looking up adorably and saying “Buir, I love you.”

Din and Cara like to spar with each other both to stay sharp and relieve stress, but have to be careful about when they do it. The first time the kids from the lab found them they were very upset to see their aunt and dad beating the crap out of each other, and Din had to calm them all down and explain play-fighting. (Cara was just glad she didn’t get choked. She could handle angry glares, and tell anyone raising their hands and squeezing they better not, and stop anyone who decided to copy her and start beating on their brother, or worse try and join in with her and Din, but one of them sobbing and running up to her and begging her not to hurt his papa was hard.)

One of those days where everything just went wrong and Din was running really late and the kids were hungry and he broke down and just stopped at a space McDonalds. Din had to admit just getting approximately 1,000 chicken nuggets was a very easy solution to feeding 101 children (once he convinced the server this wasn’t a prank and he really needed that many). Dragging them all out of the playplace was absolute hell.

Otherwise Din absolutely will not shut up about is the food healthy, what if there are space pesticides in it, this ration bar composition doesn’t have enough protein, etc. IG-11 is the only one who puts up with this. Even Kuiil is eventually like, I think they’re fine and you’re feeding them well and you can stop. I have spoken.

Kuiil is the one Din seeks out when he’s feeling really unsure about any Parenting Things. Kuiil will listen to him natter as long as he needs to, then say one simple wise sentence that either validates or corrects Din followed by “I have spoken.”

Din doesn’t want to get along with IG-11 but IG is the only one who will put up with anything with endless, eternal patience, whether it’s Din going on and on about healthy food or the kids telling a meandering story. Din also greatly appreciates how good IG-11 is at tracking all the kids down when they don’t want to do bedtime/bathtime/etc. (Also, there has yet to be a diaper blowout that IG-11 can’t handle, because he can turn off his scent receptors at will.)

Din knows about traditional Mandalorian recipes, although he’s only actually cooked them a handful of times. He figures out a tiingilar recipe the kids can eat, as well as a meat-based version of uj’alayi. The kids love it.

The knowledge that he can cook gets around and Din is roped into the Sorgan PTA’s bake sale, because he has a ship and can drive them around. There is much sighing, but he does agree.

The second most awkward ship ride of Din’s life is carting around a bunch of PTA moms to the bake sale. (They try to make small talk. Din does not.) The first most awkward ship ride of his life is taking them back to the village, with the local Karen fuming behind him because everyone liked his uj’alayi cake better than her shitty-ass brownies.

After this there is a string of Sorgan PTA moms who come over and are very interested in whether Din is alone right now and whether he would like to come over to their conveniently empty houses sometime. Din, being Too Ace For This Shit, lets the kids drive them off. (Cara finally gets him to admit that her buying them Space Nerf Guns was a good idea.)

(I just fucking lose it every time I think of the big bad stoic introverted bounty hunter having to deal with Stereotypical Suburban Situations.)

OG Yodito develops a dramatic streak due to his insecurity over keeping a hold of his dad’s attention. He stubs his toe and he’s wailing and limping over like he’s broken his leg. Fortunately a few minutes of Dad Time usually solve the issue. Din absolutely knows he’s faking, but lets it slide because he knows how important special attention is to his eldest bean.

Anytime Din actually has to put his foot down and discipline OG Yodito, OG tends to dramatically sob and wail and run to the nearest flat surface and throw himself down and cry. Din feels so torn - he knows discipline is important and necessary, but it breaks his heart to see his little one so wounded by it, but also the tantrum is so overdramatic it’s straight-up hilarious. (It never lasts long anyway. The first few times it worked and made Din apologize and hold OG, but once Din stopped falling for it, it just became a token protest against the absolute horror of having his behavior corrected.)

Cara complains endlessly about having to spend sooooo much time on the kids, she doesn’t do the baby thing, etc. Almost as much time as she spends starting water gun fights, teaching them songs and chants her shocktrooper group used to use (because watching Din try to cover 101 kids’ ears at the same time while yelling at her is really funny), and all sorts of other cool stuff that Din would not let them do but if she does it just sighs.

They’re kids, so they don’t have a lot of discretion, but there is one thing the 101 have a silent pact on. Once Din took off his helmet and revealed his ridiculously small and out-of-proportion ears, oversized nose, the weird fuzzy hairs all over his face, his strange tiny eyes, and the fact that he wasn’t even green, the 101 all collectively decided that he is their dad and they love him anyway and will never, ever tell him that he is ugly as sin and just as weird-looking as all the other humans. He’s still the best dad ever....but now they know why he wears a helmet.

Ika’ika, the tiniest and last clone, was underdeveloped and weak while stuck in a plain box cradle at the lab, but completely blooms under Din’s care. Before you know it he’s crawling....and what do you know, the tiniest Yodito is also the best escape artist and the best hider. (Din frequently has to employ the older ones to track him down.) He also likes napping in any random thing he can find - Din’s helmet, a caf mug, any nook and cranny on the ship. Din found him sleeping in a speeder engine once and kept Ika’ika in a carrier on him for the next week.... until Ika’ika finally managed to escape that too.

The carrier is supposed to be mainly for the little ones who can’t walk well enough to really keep up with their older siblings or at all, but in practice everyone demands Carrier Rides while rubbing in their siblings’ faces that it’s THEIR turn to be carried by Dad.

Din: I need more arms Cara: Don’t you have a full blaster cabinet? Din: No not those arms the kids all want to be held and I only have two arms and 101 kids

#this au is 1% plot and 89% you know what would be funny/cute/interesting #and 10% The Reality of Childcare for 101 Children in Space #101 yoditos au #the mandalorian

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freemanverse-casualcomp-au · 4 years

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Ross’ Responsible Day

He was supposedly babysitting Alyx, but he ended up with another addition to The Freemans household and his life.

Time to give this little lass a chance to grow.

“Thanks for letting me join you, Ross big bro!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the only one who got free time there.”

Alyx laughed out loud while ignoring the grumbling ace as they walked on the sidewalk, both of them munching hotdogs. One of the racer’s arms occupied with a small brown paper bag filled with some things Barney had told them to buy in the nearest grocery store.

Today was supposed to be Ross’ free time until Mr Vance came and told him to babysit this feral teenage racer for him, which he regretfully accept. As the result, he became Alyx’s “big brother” for a day. Although it’s not a bad experience for him to be called a big brother, it still irked him to the point he’ll glare at her to stop dragging him to every food store they’d encountered during their walk.

This kid is a money drainer for sure, he thought, green eyes staring at the racer’s seemingly innocent face.

At this point, his wallet is in danger.

He groaned in irritation for god-knows-how-much now.

It took him a few seconds to realize that Alyx was no longer following him. Instead, she was staring at an alleyway before walking inside, ignoring Ross’ warning calls.

Oh, you’ve got to be- oh sonovabitch! He grumbled once again, turned around and chased the racer down there too, only to see her kneeling near a pile of planks and metal pieces. “ALYX, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?”

The racer turned around and shushed him down, earning a small confused look from him. “Don’t be too noisy or they’ll hurt themselves.”

“Wait, what do you mean-”

Then he heard it. A small meow noises came from under the pile.

Alyx risking herself to rescue a damn kitten.

God fucking damn it...

“Out. Now.”

Before Alyx managed to let out a protest, Ross took the paper bag out of the racer’s arm and put them aside. He then yanked out his bomber jacket and used them as a layer of protection to move the pile bit by bit. She stunned to see the ace’s actions but then decided to help him out by removing the stray planks.

It took them about an hour for him to move all of the rubbles out, save for a small cardboard box right on the bottom of it. The racer then picked the box out and took a few steps away from the scene before lowering it, enough for him to see the content.

There the kitten was, he could see its small short jet-black fur has some brown patches around its head and near its tail area. Its body was trembling from the cold air around them, so he carefully picked up its body before layering the box properly with his jacket and put it down again, tucking it like a burrito. As he picked him out, he noticed one of its eyes is missing.

This lil fella looks just like me… He frowned, fingers petting the kitten’s head gently. I wonder how harsh life treated this fragile thing...

“Ross big bro, you’re one softie-”

“Shut the fuck up and let’s take a detour to a vet.” He took the cardboard box from the racer’s hand, his head motioning at the paper bag laying down the dirty ground. “You’re taking care of your usual duty, I’m handling this one.”

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“Don’t worry, Mr Freeman. The kitten is surprisingly okay for a stray, although she’s a bit malnourished.”

Ross’ tense expression finally relaxed upon hearing the vet’s verdict, quietly let out a huff of relief. Beside him, Alyx’s face brightened. “Can we see it- I mean her?” She asked with a slightly excited tone, her feet did her usual happy tippy-taps.

The vet nodded and went inside the examination room before she came back with a pet carrier. Behind the bars, he could see the little kitten snoozing peacefully, curling herself up inside his jacket. “I’m sorry, I think she took a liking on it. I can’t seem to separate her from your jacket.”

He stared at the cage before looking up at the vet once more. “How much for the medical bill and chip plant?”

His response earned a surprised yelp from Alyx and a small smile from the vet. “Ross big bro, you want to adopt her?!” He scoffed but nodded slightly.

“I wanted to give her another chance to live.” His eyes focused back at the kitten, his gaze softened as he slowly took the carrier from the vet and propped it on his lap, his hand unconsciously stroking it affectionately. “She reminds me of my old self somehow. Maybe the missing eye? Or maybe the fact that she was found by someone when she’s on her lowest?”

The vet lightly chuckled. “Well, let’s go working with all the needed paperwork, shall we?”

(...Thank God he didn’t spot her recording the whole thing, she’ll definitely send this to Dean big bro for additional pocket money.)

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“Yo, sorry we’re coming home late!”

“Finally, where the hell were you bo- what is that?”

Ross quickly registered Barney’s surprised expression when he and Alyx walk into the living room, holding the pet carrier on one hand and a big plastic bag of kitten’s food and formula on the other. The rest of the house members also joined into looking, Antoine and Joshua’s eyes were sparkling with delight, while Wayne, Dean, and John’s expressions were indescribable. “Okay, you fuckers better be quiet or you’ll wake up Mindy.” He walked through them and slowly put the carrier down on the carpeted floor, opened it up to let the little fella explore. Sure enough, Mindy walked out of her carrier while trying to…drag his jacket out too? Joshua helped her pull the rest of his jacket out and Mindy immediately lay down on it, purring while kneading on the faux fur part.

Fuck, this is too much sweetness in my life. He clenched his chest.

“Where did you find this cute adorable kitty?” Antoine took out his phone and snapped a bunch of Mindy’s pic while Joshua closely observing the kitten, both of them trying not to disturb her.

The ace gestured at Alyx’s direction. “She found her while we’re on our way home.”

John gave her a thumbs up, as in his way to say nice job.

Dean cleared his throat. “Should I give you one of those parental talks about you need to be a responsible young man to take care of a pet-”

“No need, the doc’s been giving me some talk about how to take care of Mindy regularly and her own phone number if I need something.” He pulled out a small notebook labelled [Mindy’s Important Stuff] and a set of numbers with “Dr Gilbert Viveca” below it. “If I need help, I’ll reach to one of you guys.”

“Nice, you’re a dad now!” Dean laughed before pausing himself, eyes widening and he’s now grinning. “And now Wayne’s not the only DILF around.”

“I AM NOT-” Wayne immediately shut his mouth as soon as Ross glared at him with an intent to kill. “I mean- I’m not a fucking DILF and you know it.”

Although the rowdy condition of the house, Mindy still sleeping peacefully on his jacket.

Ross unconsciously let a small smile on his face again.

From all of the decision he’d made, this one is the best one yet.

#daily story of freemans #Hawkeye01 #D0G #DFree #WayneTV #BlueShift #GorgeousMan

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fairyshuuu · 5 years

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wild valley pt1 | chanyeol

.summary. Park Chanyeol; sweat rolling down a naked back mixed with motor oil, you; white sugar sticking to your gums at sunset– ice cream flavored. Drugs, booze, money. He’s everything you’re not, the question is – for how long? .word count. 6k .mechanic!au | gang!au | car shop!au. .pairing. chanyeol x reader .genre. romance, angst (smut in the future)

.warnings. criminal activity, mature language .author’s note. i’m so excited to start this series, i hope you’re ready to go on an adventure. if you like this universe, please consider reading everyone else’s works because they are all amazing and you’ll definitely enjoy everyone’s part of the collab! thank you!!

♫ let me set the mood ♫

teaser. part 1. part 2. part 3. part 4. part 5. part 6. part 7. (m) part 8. (m)

Though you’ve met people on a daily— flashing through the motions like a flashback, and you’ll surely meet a lot more before the day is over; you’ll only ever meet one person you’ll truly call wild. He carries himself with the force of a wild stallion, the roar of a lion, and is perhaps the only person who can keep up with you. The only person you long to keep up.

In the bright, rising sun, you brush your hair away from your damp neck and look around the dusty street. Crushed cans litter the sidewalk, cigarettes still smoking as they meet the cement. The heat seems to beam up from the earth itself, clinging to the houses and making them slump into themselves. You glance at your phone again, before lugging the heavy suitcase behind you. Blisters fight their way up around your heels, the skin chafed and tender from the travel.

Both sides of the road are lined by houses, both small and slightly bigger, ranging in colors from brown and grey to red brick. Telephone cables are strung low between the houses, and while there is an overdose of them, there’s barely any trees to give any shade. The streets look old, both by color and wear, black streaks covering the pale gray. Across the street, a low hanging black car stands parked— gleaming in the sun. It’s not the only fancy car you’ve seen since arriving.

Before the grey plastered house at the corner you hold, looking up. One of the red roof tiles has dropped and is now laying next to the door, shattered into small shards. You pull your lips tight, before ringing the doorbell and stretching your arms in front of you. The taxi ride from the airport had been long, and you are the first to admit that a soft bed will be your only lover for the next week or so.

Two cars pass while you wait, heavy rumbles falling from the engines as they race down the street. With a creak the door swings open, and before you can process two arms are wrapped tight around your neck. The body crashes into yours without holding back, an excited giggle falling from your lips. Two wet kisses are pressed to your cheeks, before you get enough room to breathe. “Baby sister,” the young woman in front of you sighs, relief dripping from her eyes.

“Hey, sis.” You look over your shoulder, and at the people strolling with their hats pulled low over their eyes, before smiling wide. “Pretty place,” you mouth, pulling up your nose against the tickle creeping up. At your sister’s quick smack to your shoulder, you laugh and grab hold of your luggage. “That sounded sarcastic, but I’m serious. For starting from nothing, you’ve done well for yourself. I’m proud of you, sis.”

She flushes slightly, and brushes her long tan-colored hair over her shoulder, shaking her head. “Just come in, you. It’s been a while.” She takes your suitcase from you, and walks into the significantly cooler hall, glancing back at you every few seconds. Her face is sharper than you remember it being, with some freckles littering her cheeks because of the summer weather. “You must have had it harder than I thought, if you decided to leave after all. I hope… I know it’s not home, but I hope you’ll like it here.” She pats her hand on the wall of the narrow hall while you take off your shoes, and nods to herself. “The people here are welcoming, and kind. I’m sure you’ll fit right in, with that awfully positive attitude of yours.” She giggles when you smile up at her.

“You know I’ve always felt more at home when you were around, Yuna. Don’t worry, I’m sure I won’t get homesick. It’s good to see you again, I missed you.” Your big sister stares for a little longer, before nodding and dragging the case behind her.

“I know,” she mumbles, before cocking her head into the house. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.” With her excited steps in front, she leads you up the steep stairs and through another small office-like room, before arriving at a big blue door. It has clouds painted all over, with a coat hanger right in the middle. Your sister smiles, before giving a guilty grin. “You can paint that later. I didn’t get to it yet.”

Though you hum as you push open the door, you smile. “Maybe I’ll leave it. It has a charm.” You both laugh, before entering the small single-person room, cleared out in a hurry. The bed is made with all white bedding, the dresser still half open from the clean. “What, you kicked out your housemate just for me?”

“Oh, that?” your sister grins, before plopping your luggage down next to the door, and looking around the dark purple room. “No, she was moving in with her boyfriend anyway, I just made her hurry it up a little more than planned.” Her smile is small, but the gentle glint in her eyes says enough. “You’re totally welcome here, don’t worry.”

You take a deep breath, before nodding and staring at your feet. “Really though, Yun. Thank you.”

She gives a tight lipped nod, before pulling you close and pressing a kiss on your head. “You’re welcome, Dew.” She looks around the room then, and back at the stairs. “I’ll leave you to get settled in. I’ll order take-out for you, I know how much you love Chinese. Bet it’s been a while, huh?”

“Ever since you last visited, I think,” you nod, stepping more into your new space. You don’t remind her that that must have been more than two years ago. Yuna smiles and pulls her hair up into a ponytail, before gesturing you to get settled. The carpet under your feet is soft but feels cold, as you watch her skip down the stairs. With a deep sigh you bend down and zip open your bag, kneeling before it. All your important belongings are in this one carrier, you think, all memories and all sentiments stitched into the seams.

You pick up the frame on top, and stare at it for a second. Young mom, young dad, little Yuna and even smaller you. They all still smile, which is a foreign sight nowadays. Still, you smile as you put it to your side, and start pulling out your sweaters. Soon this room will feel more like home, you can already feel it. You’ll just have to paint over the ugly purple walls, is all. You giggle when you hear Yuna squeak downstairs, most likely dropping something much like you remember her clumsy self.

You hold out your grey university sweater in front of you, before tossing it on your bed and following close behind. The bed creaks when you land on it with a giggle. You roll over and stare at the ceiling, before breathing in the air of this new city. The thick feeling stuck to your lungs is still very much present— you doubt it’ll fade anytime soon. But still, the smell of mint and the smell of oil are refreshing. You swallow. Everything here smells like gasoline, the cars, the buildings, the people. Soon you’ll smell like gasoline too, and you’re aching to make a spark.

If the garage smells like one thing, maybe he’d say it smells like devotion. The smell of metal, and salt of the hours of hard work spent. It smells of rust, of oil and gas, of fire and of rubber tires, and to Chanyeol it smells like affection. He’s never been one for sentiments, but this place is the closest he has to an offspring, and the suffocating heat that collects behind the metal gate feels like home. The shop is a mess, a total of four unfinished cars in states of disrepair at his hands and at his mercy too.

The one from under which he straightens up from is a deep red mustang, and a piece of crap in his opinion. She’s old and has had multiple changes of parts already, and she’s luckily not his. Chanyeol would rather eat lead than buy a piece of crap like the one standing in the middle of the garage, since he sees the cars he owns as lovers. The 65’ model is a beauty though, despite that, and that’s why he’s putting in so much effort to keep her going. Putting the rusted bolts on the trolley next to him, he runs the back of hand across his forehead and sighs.

Coming from the back room sounds a voice, soft despite the loudness of the AC, and Chanyeol needs to lean back to hear him. “Howzit working out there, Yeol?” The tall, blonde man walks into the room with a rag swung over his shoulder, and ties the arms of his overall around his waist, leaving his chest free. Small beads of sweat sit on his collarbones from being in the back all afternoon. Chanyeol shakes his head as he looks back at the car, before grabbing the rag to clean the thick, black fluid off his hands.

“I changed part of the rear axle and the bolts to get her lower on the floor, but I can’t really do much about the corners,” he mumbles, voice deep. “Byun just needs to ease off the throttle when she under-steers in the turns, I’ve told him before. He’s asking me to fix something that’s isn’t even possible with his car.” His calloused hands tighten around the rag when he finishes, looking over at the younger when he hums.

“You know Byun. He likes to think he’s the main in an action movie. He’s gonna drive that baby into the floor, there’s not much you can do about it, Yeol,” Sehun says. Chanyeol sighs, before nodding and swinging the rag around his neck to pat the hood of the sleek, cherry Mustang. The fingerprints he leaves are like bruises on tender skin, love bites of his passion for cars. If he were asked to explain, maybe people would find it weird, but Chanyeol knows Sehun understands. The kid has just as much love for cars, if not more.

Running a hand through his icy, white hair, Chanyeol points towards the main door of the garage. “I’ll finish up some of the engine stuff later, I’m gonna go grab something to eat at 6th. You coming?”

Sehun lifts his lip and frowns, before sighing. “I can’t, sorry. I still need to work on the little beast over in the corner, and I’ve been slacking. Rain check though?”

Chanyeol nods and jams his arms in his overall, zipping it up high enough to be considered decent but low enough to let in some fresh air. “Sure. Don’t wait up if I don’t come back right away.” As he walks toward the door, Sehun turns on his heel though, and makes a dramatic gasping noise.

“So that’s why you always go to that same shitty diner. What, have you finally found someone you like?” Though there’s a playfulness in his voice, Chanyeol can’t help but wonder if it is meant as a genuine question about his sanity and persona at once. He sighs, but decides to be honest as he pulls open the stained metal and lets in the coldness of a breeze.

“No, I haven’t. I’m busy, I don’t have time for women and- liking people.” Sehun pulls a disbelieving face, but then just smiles and turns back toward the car. Maybe the look stems from the fact that Chanyeol was quite the ladies man just a few years ago or maybe because he still has his fair share of nightly outings like the lot of them, but Chanyeol is generally truthful. His life is busy as it is, and in his line of work intimacy doesn’t come easy. “Just don’t drop a wrench on your foot, idiot. I’m going. And no smoking indoors, Oh Sehun!” At the sharp giggle that rings out, Chanyeol steps out, letting the metal gate clash closed. He pulls his phone out of his pocket easily. The screen has too many cracks to count, because unlike his cars he doesn’t care much about this piece of metal.

No missed calls, which is always a good sign. He puts the phone back in it’s confinement, before fishing out a Marlboro pack and picking out a smoke. As he holds the thing between his lips and strikes the lighter, a recognizable screech makes it’s way down the wide street. He lights his ciggie and takes a deep pull as he watches the blue of a shape speed closer, chest rumbling with something that could build to be a song. The car speeds down the road and past his garage, only to stop harshly at the end of the road. The 66’ deep blue Miura P400 is parked a good thirty feet away from his feet, and though Lamborghini's aren’t his kind of car, he’s always had a knack for spotting the princesses in donkey skin.

A familiar tingle makes it’s way down his spine as he watches the driver get out and enter a shop across the street, knowing how easy it would be to unlock the old car and spark her to a start. It would take him not even a full two minutes, and yet he knows that his disobedience wouldn’t be appreciated. Besides, he doesn’t work like that anymore. So instead he takes another pull, and lets the smoke deep in his lungs. It’s always been easy for Chanyeol to drown in the heat. It’s always felt like second nature, that deep burning of desire between the spaces of his rib cage that beg to be ignited.

And he burned the brightest, everyone who knows him now was there when he did and will confirm it in a heartbeat. Though many of his fires have dimmed to mere embers with time, it’s always been easy for him to drown in the heat and now he has addictions that aren’t easily shaken. Smoking is one of them. He’s never been one to see it as a part of dying, not like some people refuse to touch a cigarette with a stick like the thing itself carries disease. He’s lived with death, ran alongside it for long enough to feel the smoke in his lungs as something familiar. As he breathes out, the driver comes back outside.

He’s tall, and wears a leather jacket with a logo that Chanyeol doesn’t recognize. When the stranger turns both ways to check the street, they meet eyes, and for a moment he pauses. When Chanyeol takes another pull, the man gives him a little nod and looks away. The Miura is driven out of sight quickly after, leaving him with the thick longing of getting to know not the driver— but the car. He drops his shoulders at the possibility of that, and tosses the stub on the ground to put it out under his feet. With a last cloud he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and starts walking.

The grass that sticks from between the sidewalk is carrying small yellow flowers now, enjoying the bright summer sun. Luckily the diner is not far, so he doesn’t mind walking the way. As he walks he keeps his eyes to the ground, though he glances around once in a while to check around him. Most people wouldn’t recognize his face, and those who do are smart enough to let him be, this he’s grateful for. The sun is already sinking lower and giving everything a soft, pink glow. As he rounds the last corner, it strikes him as odd, since the street is not totally abandoned.

He rights himself more, and strolls past multiple people casually, as he scans the area. The normally empty road almost seems lively, the smell of sweets filling the air. Admittedly, Chanyeol hasn’t been out a lot lately because of the heaps of work shoved on his shoulders, but the change is striking. He sighs deeply, before picking out another ciggie and lighting it, breathing out smoke with his annoyance. As he crosses the street to get to the diner, he frowns out of habit, letting thoughts devour him. The sweetness is slightly nauseating. With two big steps he makes his way to the door and grabs hold of the familiar metal, when a fruity voice breaks his silence. “Hey!” When he looks to the side, two bright eyes meet his.

You wipe your sweaty palms on your apron, and blink your lashes against the bright afternoon light. Yuna places her palms on the counter, and stares at the metal ice cream basket you plonked down ever so graciously. “Cream, machine, let it freeze as it stirs and take it out when half frozen. Done,” you repeat, glancing over your shoulder at her. Her pretty face is held in a frown, but she does her best to smile while you take a spoon to taste the ice cream you’ve made. It tastes… pretty good.

“Yeah, that’s all. You know how to make the waffles too, right?” You nod a curt yes, before her brows unlace from each other. “Good, just— don’t play around too much, ‘kay? This place is my baby, and it’s the only thing paying for the house and I-”

“I’ll do my best, Yuna, I promise. It’s good to know that you don’t think I’m totally incompetent,” you wink, slotting the new ice cream basket into the display next to the others. Standing near it in this weather is a blessing.

Your sister smiles, before swinging her arm around your shoulder. “Not totally, no. I just think you’re mildly incompetent.” She laughs along with you when you turn to her with your spoon, ready to smack it on her head. You give up when she holds her hands in front of her in a silent plead, smiling. “Right. I’m going now, you got this. Work hard and sell a lot, if you can. You saw how I did it, so I believe in you.”

“Thank you, sis. Go do business!” With a wave she slips out the door, and leaves you alone for the first time today. You’ve only started work a few hours ago, but that was with Yuna by your side, who’s basically a veteran at this by now. Being alone in the small store gives a weird feeling, though it’s nice to feel responsible for once. If you work hard, she might let you work here full time until you go back to school— a miracle because, ice cream.

Two people walk up the sidewalk, a couple strolling in the midday glow. As they get closer, you smile and give them a little bow. “Good afternoon. Would you like some ice cream? We’re selling at half the price today because it’s my first day.” The girl catches your eyes right away, widening with excitement as the delicious colors appear. Even before she asks, the boyfriend seems to know because he puts out his butt and reaches for his wallet.

“Yes, please.” She comes to stand on the step in front, and smiles. “For me, one strawberry, one lime please.”

“Would you like that in a cup or a cone?”

“Cone, please.”

“Coming right up. And for you?” you turn to the young man, who just shakes his head and runs a hand through his brown hair.

“I’m good, I gotta-”

The girl groans though, taking his hand and shaking it. You’ve got the woman’s ice cream finished in a second, and slide it carefully in the stand. “Come on, Minseok, just get an ice cream. Don’t you see how good they look?” You laugh a little at them both, and bite your lip.

With a roll of his eyes, he gives in. “Double coffee flavor, please. In a cone.” You nod and prepare the second ice cream quickly, as he takes out his money. Carefully you hand the cone over, before walking to the register.

“That’ll be… $3,04.” With that the man hands you a fiver, before starting to walk away. He just mouths ‘keep the change’, and grabs his girlfriend’s hand to continue down the sidewalk. You stare them down for a little longer, before sighing and looking around the street again. It’s not very busy, but there’s people walking, which is a good sign. You just need them to get close enough to lure them into your sweet-smelling trap. You giggle softly to yourself while you think that, because there’s not really much you have to do for people to crave ice cream. As long as you can get their attention—

Right as you think that, a tall man comes walking across the road, towards you. He’s slumped forward a little, a cigarette held casually between his lips and his hands in the pockets of his blue overalls. His hair is a striking icy white against his golden skin. As he gets closer you notice the frown on his face, and almost decide to stay quiet. He glances over his shoulder, before reaching for the door of the building right next to yours, oblivious to your gaze on him.

Without being able to help it, you lean forward across the counter. “Hey!” you call, giving him a little smile. He looks up slightly confused, and definitely mildly annoyed. You don’t let that stop you though. “Could I tempt you?” You point down at the ice cream to drive the point home, watching as he gives you a one over. Despite his harsh expression, he has a handsome face, you notice, with soft features and a sharp jawline.

The man clenches his jaw, before raising his one eyebrow. “You’ve got the wrong one, sugar.” He keeps one side of his mouth still as he talks to keep his smoke in his mouth, which makes him look even more annoyed. His dark brows make him look stern, and despite his still youthful face— he looks a good bit older than you. “You’re looking for Byun.” With that he grabs the handle and pulls open the door of the diner.

“I highly doubt that!” you quickly bring out, breathing out when he turns over his shoulder to look at you. When he doesn’t immediately say anything in response, you twirl your spoon in your hand, with a little smile. “I don’t know who Byun is, I’m new here, you see.” Again, the man stares at you with a blank face, blowing out a cloud grey smoke in your direction. You turn your face away a bit, to keep from coughing at the smell, and try again. “You really don’t want some ice cream? It’s probably hot in whatever factory you come from, and we’re selling half the price.”

Finally, he reacts, letting the door drop closed to fold his arms across his chest. Even with the over sized blue attire, you can tell that he’s pretty buff, and you can’t help but wonder if it’s really only from whatever work he does. He picks his dart out of his lips to hold it between his fingers, to cocks his head back a little. “I don’t like ice cream.” Harsh shadows fall on his face like that, the sun low enough to create a dappled pattern on his warm skin.

You nod, before lulling your head to the side. “Well, then come talk to me for a little bit!” You don’t know why you’re putting in so much effort, when you could surely talk to someone less grumpy, but something about him feels familiar. Not in the way Yuna feels familiar, and not in the way your friends from back home feel familiar. His attitude is about as far as you could get from it, and yet, you enjoy the deep tremble of his voice. It feels comforting in a way, warm but not burning. You’re sure that if he were to leave now, he’d remain in your head for a long while.

He takes another pull from his smoke, and then looks around the street— for what you’re not certain. When he blows out his smoke, he sighs. “I don’t like talking either.”

You give a little giggle, and put your ice cream scoop back in it’s watery bucket. “Hmh- I think you’d be in the minority for both there.” He doesn’t really react, but you’re starting not to mind as much. Maybe he’s just a really quiet person. You pick one of the failed waffles and plop a part in your mouth, talking with your hand in front of your mouth. “I just wanna make friends, ‘ya know? Have you lived here for long? Do you know my sister?”

He stares at you for a while without answering, his dark eyes connecting with yours without fail. When you look at the floor with warm cheeks, he hums. “For long enough.” His voice is so deep and gentle when he speaks, that you almost find it doesn’t fit his demeanor. After a while of just looking at each other in silence, he clears his voice. “And I don’t- who’s your sister?”

“Her name is Yuna, she’s the boss of this here shop.” You proudly glance up at the sign that hangs above your head, before smiling at him. Strangely, his thundery demeanor only makes you want to be more joyful, and you have no idea why. A persistent smile keeps tugging at your lips when you look at him.

He blinks twice, before shaking his head. “Never heard of her.” He puts out his butt on the cement instead of putting it in the ashtray next to the door, and shoves his large, calloused hands back in the pockets. His frown hasn’t left his face for a second, and it’s this that makes you pause.

With a small voice, you lace your hands together behind your back. “You really don’t want to be talking to me, huh?”

“Well noticed,” he sighs, lifting one of his brows again.

Though that stings just a little, you nod, and smile at him. “Okay, then. Have a good day! I’m Y/N, if we see each other again.” The man doesn’t say anything else, just gives you a little nod and then pulls open the door of the diner again. The loud music from inside comes to meet your ears as he does, but fades just as quick as it came when he walks through the door and lets it drop closed behind him. You stare at the door until the image of his frown fades, and you look back at the street.

Chanyeol sighs as he sinks into the chair, hands limply laying on his thighs. Sweat is collected at his hairline, a cold drink sitting on the edge of the table in front. His black shirt clings to his chest because of the heat, sticking uncomfortably to his back like a tight hug. He frowns as he looks over the crowd, running his tongue over his teeth. The whole ordeal is not his place, hasn’t been for a while now, and yet— here he sits pressed in the booth right in the center of the club, able to view the entire room.

This is a privilege that comes with the reputation he must have. His fingers tremble slightly when he looks over his shoulder, looking for one of the bartenders. He’d like a smoke right about now, but even he isn’t allowed to smoke indoors and he doesn’t feel like pressing between the sweaty, dancing bodies to make his way to the door. Instead he reaches for the whiskey and swallows the thing down without thinking. A vicious burn sits at the back of his mouth, irritating his throat. He doesn’t let it bother him.

The club music is almost deafening, bass trembling through skin and bone and maybe he won’t stay long enough for it to shake him, but maybe he will. His friends are also lounging in the seats, some more occupied then others. The girl next to him has her tongue so far down his friend’s throat that she must be able to taste every drink he’s had in his entire life. Chanyeol just looks around for a bit, before he makes eye contact with one of the bartenders and lifts his glass.

“Aren’t you glad I dragged you out of your cave?” Baekhyun says, almost shouting because of the music. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, dark brown hair sticking to his forehead. Chanyeol can see that Baekhyun has more alcohol in him than he’s letting on, staring across the crowd for what must be a new body to enjoy. When Chanyeol doesn’t answer right away, the older swings an arm over his shoulder and squeezes. “Loosen up a little, Yeol. You’ve grown so damn reclusive since you moved out of my place.”

This ticks him off, though he tries his very best not to let it show. “You know why I can’t, Byun. Don’t try your bullshit on me, I’m not in the mood.”

Baekhyun pauses when he catches eyes with his friend, gaze softening a little. “You can do whatever you want, Yeol, the past is gone. I’m not saying you have to find yourself someone fuck, I’m genuinely wondering, is all. We all know you’ll fuck someone when you feel like it. I just need to know you’re good.” When Baekhyun raises an eyebrow in question, Chanyeol sighs and nods. At that moment, the bartender of earlier sheepishly walks up, and fills his cup, leaving the whole bottle on the table while he’s at it.

The white haired man sighs, before changing the topic. “How she drive now, anyway?” The aching in his lungs is distracting, his worked hands playing with the chain hanging from his belt.

Baekhyun hums. “She drives great, as always. You did a good job. She doesn’t shake like that anymore.” He tosses the last of his drink back and reaches for the bottle to fill up again. “You know, that rattling sound she made!”

“One day I’m not gonna be able to fix that rust bucket of yours,” Chanyeol mumbles, a smile pulling at his lips when Baekhyun gives him a comically offended look. “Get yourself a new one, for fuck sake.”

“How about you shut your mouth? Just do the job I pay you for and stop complaining.”

At that he can’t hold a grin. “You pay me jack shit, dumbass.” He swirls the whiskey in his glass and watches as it changes color because of the strobe lights. The girl next to him has now come to sit in his friend’s lap, and is still sucking face. With another smooth move he tosses the entirety of his glass back, and couches. “I’m setting off, guys. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” As he reaches to get up, slim fingers round his wrist.

“Yeol,” Baekhyun calls, prompting him to look back at his friend. Without another word the brunet pulls open his blazer and picks out a small bag, small blue pills filling it to the brim. Baekhyun asks a mute question with his eyes as he offers it to him, but Chanyeol puts his hand in his pocket while shaking his head the slightest bit.

“Not tonight, Byun. Thanks though.” With that he makes his way out of the group, saying goodbye to everyone and teasingly ruffling Junmyeon’s hair. He steps down the platform of the booth to weave between the dancing bodies. Some girls stare him down as he does, but he doesn’t feel like being nice tonight. And when he’s not nice, he brings on disaster. He prefers to keep tonight calm, making it to the door quickly. For the short two hours he’s been in the bar for, he feels pretty tipsy.

Those last couple of glasses would be to blame there. He takes a deep breath of the outside air, ignoring the people making out against the wall in front, and reaches in his pants for the familiar box. The flame is bright in the night, a bright red against the blue sky. The warm smoke makes it’s way in his lungs like a soothing balm, getting rid of the stress that built up in his muscles. The air is much colder now, but it feels nice. He takes a deep breath, and starts walking away from the club, crossing the street smoothly. Not many people will be racing tonight, he knows, since every worthwhile racer is collected in that bar.

He walks with slow but confident steps, enjoying the music as it fades into the distance. He didn’t park his car close. Chanyeol wasn’t going to let some drunk asshole scratch it up, or there would have been hell to pay. As he walks, the work he still has to do comes to mind. He still has the McLaren 12C Spider to work on, as well as one of his personally projects, and some touch ups for clients around town. As he walks, a face suddenly comes to mind. Your smile, and excited enthusiasm that would normally piss him off.

Though he pushes it down quickly after, you stay cemented far back in his thoughts, without reason. Finally he rounds the corner that reveals his prized possession, a 19’ Mercedes G-Class he got after trading his favorite car for Jongdae’s loss. He had been livid, but looking back now, it was a blessing in disguise. The blacked out windows gleam in the streetlights. He quickly hops in and drives her out off the street, ignoring the slight swaying of the street.

He’s driven cars when black out drunk before, so this is nothing. And even if he would get held up by the cops, he wouldn’t get in trouble. Exo owns this town, and everyone here knows it. He’s lucky to be where he is, with all honesty. If Junmyeon wouldn’t have picked him out of junior jail, he might have been in jail more than he would have been out. The drive to the garage is short. He doesn’t live here, but he’d rather not go to sleep tonight. Spending the rest of the early morning tinkering sounds that much more appealing. He throws a quick glance at the clock while parking her around the corner. 4:34 AM.

As he hops out, a sound catches his ear. The squeaking of metal. He frowns for a second, before reaching the front with big steps. Someone sits crouched in front of the garage door, with a wire cutter and clearly trying to force the lock of the door. Chanyeol clenches his jaw tight, before tossing his ciggie to the floor and crossing his hands over his chest. The harsh swell of his lungs is painful against the tight confinement of his ribs.

With all the self-control he can muster, he speaks out, voice deep in the otherwise silent street. “One more move and I’ll plunge a knife so deep between your shoulders that your grandmother feels it in her toes.” The person freezes for a second, before looking over with wide eyes. His face is covered with a face mask, but Chanyeol can immediately see he’s young. “You’re not messing with the right people, kid,” he rasps, pulling his black butterfly knife out of his shoe, and flicking it open.

The young man hesitates for a second, round eyes widening, before sprinting down the road. Though Chanyeol could easily chase him, by foot or car, he doesn’t. Instead he spits some of the leftover alcoholic taste on the floor, and stares at the retreating back of the dude. The blaring between his ears now gets painful, so he turns to get inside. When he does though, he catches a glint in his peripheral. Next to the damaged lock lays something, what turns out to be the wire cutters when he bends down to pick it up. Chanyeol sighs and puts his knife away again, before staring closer at the tool in his hands.

On the side, a name is written, messily scribbled like you would on your personal water bottle. When he reads it, Chanyeol’s eyes widen slightly in recognition. Yoonoh.

thank you so much for reading!! please, check out all these lovely ladies’ part of this universe as well and show them a lot of love! I’ll add the masterlist of the collab as soon as it is posted~ @ninibears-erigom @suhoerections @kimjongdaely @kyungseokie @kpop---scenarios @yeoldontknow @baekwell--tart @skjdln

If you want to be (un)tagged for this series, shoot me a message!!! @shxrl4747 @lucymheng @byunfirstlady @chanyeolol

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nuttydefendoryouth · 3 years

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The air conditioning trap: how cold air is heating the world

On a sweltering Thursday evening in Manhattan last month, people across New York City were preparing for what meteorologists predicted would be the hottest weekend of the year. Over the past two decades, every record for peak electricity use in the city has occurred during a heatwave, as millions of people turn on their air conditioning units at the same time. And so, at the midtown headquarters of Con Edison, the company that supplies more than 10 million people in the New York area with electricity, employees were busy turning a conference room on the 19th floor into an emergency command centre.

Inside the conference room, close to 80 engineers and company executives, joined by representatives of the city’s emergency management department, monitored the status of the city power grid, directed ground crews and watched a set of dials displaying each borough’s electricity use tick upward. “It’s like the bridge in Star Trek in there,” Anthony Suozzo, a former senior system operator with the company, told me. “You’ve got all hands on deck, they’re telling Scotty to fix things, the system is running at max capacity.”

Power grids are measured by the amount of electricity that can pass through them at any one time. Con Edison’s grid, with 62 power substations and more than 130,000 miles of power lines and cables across New York City and Westchester County, can deliver 13,400MW every second. This is roughly equivalent to 18m horsepower.

On a regular day, New York City demands around 10,000MW every second; during a heatwave, that figure can exceed 13,000MW. “Do the math, whatever that gap is, is the AC,” Michael Clendenin, a company spokesman, told me. The combination of high demand and extreme temperature can cause parts of the system to overheat and fail, leading to blackouts. In 2006, equipment failure left 175,000 people in Queens without power for a week, during a heatwave that killed 40 people.

This year, by the evening of Sunday 21 July, with temperatures above 36C (97F) and demand at more than 12,000MW every second, Con Edison cut power to 50,000 customers in Brooklyn and Queens for 24 hours, afraid that parts of the nearby grid were close to collapse, which could have left hundreds of thousands of people without power for days. The state had to send in police to help residents, and Con Edison crews dispensed dry ice for people to cool their homes.

As the world gets hotter, scenes like these will become increasingly common. Buying a VRF air conditioner is perhaps the most popular individual response to climate change, and air conditioners are almost uniquely power-hungry appliances: a small unit cooling a single room, on average, consumes more power than running four fridges, while a central unit cooling an average house uses more power than 15. “Last year in Beijing, during a heatwave, 50% of the power capacity was going to air conditioning,” says John Dulac, an analyst at the International Energy Agency (IEA). “These are ‘oh shit’ moments.”

There are just over 1bn single-room air conditioning units in the world right now – about one for every seven people on earth. Numerous reports have projected that by 2050 there are likely to be more than 4.5bn, making them as ubiquitous as the mobile phone is today. The US already uses as much electricity for air conditioning each year as the UK uses in total. The IEA projects that as the rest of the world reaches similar levels, air conditioning will use about 13% of all electricity worldwide, and produce 2bn tonnes of CO2 a year – about the same amount as India, the world’s third-largest emitter, produces today.

All of these reports note the awful irony of this feedback loop: warmer temperatures lead to more air conditioning; more air conditioning leads to warmer temperatures. The problem posed by air conditioning resembles, in miniature, the problem we face in tackling the climate crisis. The solutions that we reach for most easily only bind us closer to the original problem.

The global dominance of air conditioning was not inevitable. As recently as 1990, there were only about 400m air conditioning units in the world, mostly in the US. Originally built for industrial use, air conditioning eventually came to be seen as essential, a symbol of modernity and comfort. Then air conditioning went global. Today, as with other drivers of the climate crisis, we race to find solutions – and puzzle over how we ended up so closely tied to a technology that turns out to be drowning us.

Like the aqueduct or the automobile, air conditioning is a technology that transformed the world. Lee Kuan Yew, the first prime minister of independent Singapore, called it “one of the signal inventions of history” that allowed the rapid modernisation of his tropical country. In 1998, the American academic Richard Nathan told the New York Times that, along with the “civil rights revolution”, air conditioning had been the biggest factor in changing American demography and politics over the previous three decades, enabling extensive residential development in the very hot, and very conservative, American south.

A century ago, few would have predicted this. For the first 50 years of its existence, air conditioning was mainly restricted to factories and a handful of public spaces. The initial invention is credited to Willis Carrier, an American engineer at a heating and ventilation company, who was tasked in 1902 with reducing humidity in a Brooklyn printing factory. Today we assume that the purpose of air conditioning is to reduce heat, but engineers at the time weren’t solely concerned with temperature. They wanted to create the most stable possible conditions for industrial production – and in a print factory, humidity curled sheets of paper and smudged ink.

Carrier realised that removing heat from the factory air would reduce humidity, and so he borrowed technology from the nascent refrigeration industry to create what was, and still is, essentially a jacked-up fridge. Then as now, air conditioning units work by breathing in warm air, passing it across a cold surface, and exhaling cool, dry air. The invention was an immediate success with industry – textile, ammunition, and pharmaceutical factories were among the first adopters – and then began to catch on elsewhere. The House of Representatives installed air conditioning in 1928, followed by the White House and the Senate in 1929. But during this period, most Americans encountered air conditioning only in places such as theatres or department stores, where it was seen as a delightful novelty.

It wasn’t until the late 1940s, when it began to enter people’s homes, that the TICA air conditioner really conquered the US. Before then, according to the historian Gail Cooper, the industry had struggled to convince the public that air conditioning was a necessity, rather than a luxury. In her definitive account of the early days of the industry, Air-Conditioning America, Cooper notes that magazines described air conditioning as a flop with consumers. Fortune called it “a prime public disappointment of the 1930s”. By 1938 only one out of every 400 American homes had an air conditioner; today it is closer to nine out of 10.

What fuelled the rise of the air conditioning was not a sudden explosion in consumer demand, but the influence of the industries behind the great postwar housing boom. Between 1946 and 1965, 31m new homes were constructed in the US, and for the people building those houses, air conditioning was a godsend. Architects and construction companies no longer had to worry much about differences in climate – they could sell the same style of home just as easily in New Mexico as in Delaware. The prevailing mentality was that just about any problems caused by hot climates, cheap building materials, shoddy design or poor city planning could be overcome, as the American Institute of Architects wrote in 1973, “by the brute application of more air conditioning”. As Cooper writes, “Architects, builders and bankers accepted air conditioning first, and consumers were faced with a fait accompli that they merely had to ratify.”

Equally essential to the rise of the dunham bush air conditioner were electric utilities – the companies that operate power plants and sell electricity to consumers. Electric utilities benefit from every new house hooked up to their grid, but throughout the early 20th century they were also looking for ways to get these new customers to use even more electricity in their homes. This process was known as “load building”, after the industry term (load) for the amount of electricity used at any one time. “The cost of electricity was low, which was fine by the utilities. They simply increased demand, and encouraged customers to use more electricity so they could keep expanding and building new power plants,” says Richard Hirsh, a historian of technology at Virginia Tech.

The utilities quickly recognised that air conditioning was a serious load builder. As early as 1935, Commonwealth Edison, the precursor to the modern Con Edison, noted in its end-of-year report that the power demand from terminal air conditioner was growing at 50% a year, and “offered substantial potential for the future”. That same year, Electric Light & Power, an industry trade magazine, reported that utilities in big cities “are now pushing air conditioning. For their own good, all power companies should be very active in this field.”

By the 1950s, that future had arrived. Electric utilities ran print, radio and film adverts promoting air conditioning, as well as offering financing and discount rates to construction companies that installed it. In 1957, Commonwealth Edison reported that for the first time, peak electricity usage had occurred not in the winter, when households were turning up their heating, but during summer, when people were turning on their air-conditioning units. By 1970, 35% of American houses had air conditioning, more than 200 times the number just three decades earlier.

At the same time, air-conditioning-hungry commercial buildings were springing up across the US. The all-glass skyscraper, a building style that, because of its poor reflective properties and lack of ventilation, often requires more than half its electricity output be reserved for air conditioning, became an American mainstay. Between 1950 and 1970 the average electricity used per square foot in commercial buildings more than doubled. New York’s World Trade Center, completed in 1974, had what was then the world’s largest AC unit, with nine enormous engines and more than 270km of piping for cooling and heating. Commentators at the time noted that it used the same amount of electricity each day as the nearby city of Schenectady, population 80,000.

The air-conditioning industry, construction companies and electric utilities were all riding the great wave of postwar American capitalism. In their pursuit of profit, they ensured that the light commercial air conditioner became an essential element of American life. “Our children are raised in an air-conditioned culture,” an AC company executive told Time magazine in 1968. “You can’t really expect them to live in a home that isn’t air conditioned.” Over time, the public found they liked air conditioning, and its use continued to climb, reaching 87% of US households by 2009.

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smwebtech · 2 years

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nigeiadigitalmarketingcompany · 5 years

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2:00PM Water Cooler 7/24/2019

Digital Elixir 2:00PM Water Cooler 7/24/2019

By Lambert Strether of Corrente

Trade

“U.S. lawmakers are moving to eliminate a supply chain that has become an important source of transportation equipment for American public transit systems. Congress is preparing to bar the use of federal funds to buy Chinese buses and railcars” [Wall Street Journal]. “Backers say the ban is needed to protect American manufacturers from subsidized Chinese competition. They also claim it would protect Americans from potential surveillance by Beijing through apparatus installed on buses and trains…. One expert says the debate highlights ‘the clash between globalization and local interests that we’ve always had, only now it’s moved up the value chain.’”

“U.K. Defers Huawei 5G Decision, Seeks Clarity on U.S. Export Ban” [Bloomberg]. “The U.K. government postponed making a decision about Huawei Technologies Co.’s involvement in the country’s fifth-generation mobile networks, citing a lack of clarity over the impact of a U.S. export ban affecting the Chinese company…. The U.K. Parliament’s Intelligence and Security Committee said in a report issued Friday that banning Huawei could make U.K. networks less secure by reducing the number of available suppliers. Huawei is one of three potential 5G suppliers to the U.K., alongside Nokia Oyj and Ericsson AB. Meanwhile, all four U.K. carriers are building their 5G networks using equipment from Huawei. BT Group Plc’s EE and Vodafone Group Plc have already gone live with 5G.”

Politics

“But what is government itself, but the greatest of all reflections on human nature?” –James Madison, Federalist 51

“They had one weapon left and both knew it: treachery.” –Frank Herbert, Dune

“2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination” [RealClearPolitics] (average of five polls). As of July 24: Biden flat at 28.6% (28.6), Sanders up at 15.0% (14.8%), Warren up at 15.0% (14.6%), Buttigieg up at 4.8% (5.0%), Harris down 12.2% (12.6%), others Brownian motion.

* * *

2020

Buttigieg (D)(1): “Can Democrats do anything to combat being painted as socialists?” [WaPo]. “As The Fix’s Aaron Blake wrote earlier this month, Trump trails or is in a dead heat with each individual Democratic candidate tested in the last Washington Post-ABC poll. But he comes out ahead when voters are asked to say whether they would vote for Trump or a socialist…. ‘If we adopt a platform that’s way out to the left, they’re going to say we’re socialists. If we adopt a more moderate or conservative platform, they’re going to say we’re socialists,’ Buttigieg said, eliciting laughs and applause from the crowd. ‘So we might as well just do what we think is right, make the case for it and then let them do what they want.’”

De Blasio (D)(1): “‘That Place Is A Disaster,’ Says Bill De Blasio Watching Flooded NYC Subway On TV During Iowa Campaign Stop” [The Onion]. “‘I can’t believe how miserable and hopeless that place looks,’ de Blasio said as he visited the Pleasant Hill Diner in Iowa, observing that if he were elected president, then perhaps New Yorkers wouldn’t have to worry about such terrible things happening anymore. ‘How can people there stand it? I know I don’t want to live in a place like that. Somebody really ought to do something.’”

Sanders (D)(1): “Sanders makes ‘last-minute’ appearance at union rally with Warren” [Politico]. “Speaking to a rowdy crowd of several hundred union members and their supporters, the presidential candidates pledged to stand behind workers’ demands for $15 an hour and better health care — two issues at the focal point of the Democratic primary — and endorsed their rallying cry of “one job should be enough…. Warren confirmed her attendance well before the rally at Reagan National Airport, as she continues to vie for the progressive wing of the party. In press materials sent out Monday morning, she was the headliner and no other candidates were listed as attending. But Sanders, one of her 2020 rivals, RSVP’d at the last moment, one union leader told POLITICO, and he stormed into the UNITE HERE rally to chants of ‘Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!’”

Trump (R)(1): “Trump says he can name 20 more Dems who are like the ‘squad’” [Associated Press]. “Trump is trying to turn the group into the face of the Democratic Party heading into the 2020 presidential election, using their views and policy positions to paint the party as extreme and its leaders as wrong for the future of the country. ‘They have a big problem because they have others than these four,” Trump said of Democrats during the nearly 80-minute speech. ‘I could name another 20 right now. Without looking at a note I could name another 20 that I think are in many ways worse.’” • 20? Really?

Warren (D)(1): “Elizabeth Warren Bet Big on Impeachment. Will Mueller Pay It Off? [Vanity Fair]. “Elizabeth Warren has bet bigger on Robert Mueller than any of the other Democratic presidential contenders….. Getting out ahead on the issue was tactically smart back in the spring, when Warren’s poll numbers were mired in the low single digits and she was struggling to attract attention. “Many of her ‘I have a plan for that’ agenda items were worked out months in advance,” a Warren insider says. “But no one knew, coming into this year, that there would even be a Mueller report. The fact that she read it and reacted to it quickly was a very important opportunistic moment for her, and it is underappreciated in her rise.”

* * *

“Lawyers bankroll 2020 Democrats with millions in campaign cash” [Open Secrets]. “[L]awyers and employees of law firms have already given $10 million to Democratic candidates, including $5.5 million between April and June. Only retirees — a much larger group — have contributed more to Democrats seeking the White House, giving $8.5 million during the second quarter and $22.6 million this cycle. Former Vice President Joe Biden has received $1.9 million from the legal field, the most of any candidate. He is followed by Sens. Kamala Harris and Cory Booker, who received $1.5 million and $1.1 million from the industry, respectively. South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg received $955,000, while Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) have both taken more than $700,000 this cycle…. Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), a former Harvard Law School professor, vowed to eschew the traditional big-donor fundraisers where some of her competitors have reaped in big bucks. But the Massachusetts senator has still managed to receive nearly $430,000 in contributions from lawyers and law firms this cycle. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) received just $167,000 from the lawyers and law firms, the least of any top-tier candidate.”

“A Warren or Sanders presidency could cost Democrats a Senate seat” [NBC News]. “Both Massachusetts and Vermont have Republican governors who have the power to name a temporary replacement to fill Warren’s or Sanders’ vacant Senate seat with a Republican replacement. (Vermont’s governor, Phil Scott, is up for re-election in 2020.) The other Democratic senators running for president — Kamala Harris (Calif.), Amy Klobuchar (Minn.), Cory Booker (N.J.), Kirsten Gillibrand (N.Y.) and Michael Bennet (Colo.) — all hail from states with sitting Democratic governors.”

RussiaGate

“Robert Mueller’s day of disappointments for Democrats” [Damon Linker, The Week]. “On Wednesday, Democrats will do their best to pull Mueller over to their side, pushing him to declare that his findings confirm their suspicions about the president and justify their desire to see him removed from office. To which Mueller is likely to respond, by implication at least, that it isn’t his place to render that judgment — that the judgment has to be made by those posing the question. He has provided them with the evidence. The rest is not his business.”

“4 big moments from Robert Mueller’s testimony on obstruction” [Axios]. • I don’t think any minds will be changed.

Realignment and Legitimacy

“After 48 Years, Democrats Still Haven’t Gotten the Memo” [The New Republic]. “Democratic donors and elites are generally far too focused on federal elections, a particularly egregious oversight given the sizable governing power found at the state and local level. … Billionaire Democratic donor Tom Steyer jumping into the presidential race is but the latest illustration of the left donor class’s inability to stay focused and act strategically… Right now, according to the ACS’s Fredrickson, the left likes to fund ‘projects,’ and not ‘general operating support.’ Wealthy donors on the right will ‘give their grantees really long lead time[s] to find success,’ she said. On the left, however, ‘if you don’t produce in three months and show your metrics on this pet project … [they] cut you off. It’s an incredible contrast.’”

The Left Cannot Win the Country by Campaigning Like Hillary Clinton Benjamin Studebaker. On the squad:

If Sanders loses, Medicare-For-All will not happen, and the Democratic Party will be left in the hands of a squad that campaigns precisely the same way Hillary Clinton campaigned:

By calling its opponents deplorable bigots.

By emphasising the historic nature of the diversity it represents.

This will not produce a Democratic Party that can win the senate and hold it, forcing the Republican Party to adjust its strategy and approach. Instead, it will ensure the Republican Party remains competitive in its current form.

This is compounded by the fact that the press pushes idpol, and won’t report a focus on the working class even when it exists (see the coverage of AOC’s interview with the New Yorker’s er, deplorable David Remnick). That said, it’s a candidates reponsibility to control the news cycle, and even more an electeds. I think it’s time for “the squad” to fish or cut bait on its Presidential choices. Which side are they on?

“Actually, the Democrats Don’t Care About Identity” [Jacobin]. “Is it really the case that Democrats and prominent liberals care most about identity and representation? They certainly talk a good game…. The truth is, as has been documented at length, Democrats and the liberal establishment that supports them don’t really care about representation or issues related to identity, unless they can be used as a cudgel against those whom they politically disagree with, or can win them votes. After an entire year of claiming these matters were central to Democratic politics, the party went about making sure that diverse, progressive candidates were kept out of power in favor of less diverse, centrist, and often wealthy individuals, from needlessly killing Keith Ellison’s bid for DNC chair to passing over Elizabeth Warren as Hillary Clinton’s running mate in favor of a white man who was bad on abortion rights. Just like much of the Left, the Democrats believe someone’s identity is less important than the politics they espouse; it just so happens the politics they favor are ones with worse outcomes for marginalized communities.”

“The Franken Regrets Miss the Point of #MeToo” [Bloomberg]. “There are good men out there who’ve said or done stupid things. The whispered conversations among their friends are much the same as things Franken’s friends and family say about him in the New Yorker piece. He’s so devoted to his family. This will absolutely crush him. He never meant to cause any harm. That can all be true, and the behavior can still be enough to get the guy fired. You can be kind to many and oblivious to some, and good at some parts of your job and unprofessional at others. Losing your job doesn’t make you a martyr. But when a good man loses his job for doing something dumb, people seem to think the process must have gone awry.”

Stats Watch

Purchasing Managers Composite FLASH, July 2018: “Gradual deceleration to a standstill is the story of PMI manufacturing’s sample” [Econoday]. “Production in manufacturing is lower this month and also at a 10-year low with employment ending six years of continual growth. Inventories of inputs are also down this month. Weakness in auto manufacturing and heightened global uncertainties were cited by the sample…. Slowing in global trade has been sending manufacturing PMIs falling across the world.”

New Home Sales, June 2019: “The housing trend is visibly fading at the half-way point, opening the year on a solid rise before flattening out and slowing in May and June” [Econoday]. “Market fundamentals should be pointing to better results for new home sales: there’s plenty of homes on the market, prices are soft, employment is strong, and mortgage rates have come down sharply. Yet today’s report is consistent with anecdotal reports that foreign buyers, due to trade tensions, have been scaling back US home buying. In any case, these results do fit in with arguments for a rate cut, a cut that would likely pull mortgage rates even lower in what couldn’t but help housing.”

MBA Mortgage Applications, week of July 19, 2020: “The purchase index continues to pull back in what is an unfavorable indication for underlying home sales” [Econoday].

Retail: “How to Get a $5,000 Amazon Credit: Buy a House Through Realogy” [New York Times]. “On Tuesday, Amazon said that it was working with Realogy, the nation’s largest residential real estate brokerage company and owner of Century 21, Coldwell Banker and other brands, to create TurnKey, a service that will help prospective home buyers find real estate agents. To entice customers, Amazon will give buyers up to $5,000 in home services and smart-home gear when they close. Amazon is now as much a search engine as it is a store, and the deal fits into the company’s effort to capitalize on its status as an online destination by making money on advertising and other services. It’s also a way to encourage people to adopt products like Alexa speakers and Ring doorbells and to promote its list of handymen, furniture assemblers and other home services.” • Eating the world….

Shipping: “UPS adds Sunday service; forms commercial drone unit and files to expand operations” [Freight Waves]. “UPS Inc. (NYSE:UPS) late Tuesday rolled out extensive changes to its product portfolio that include ground pick-ups and deliveries on Sundays for the first time in its history, a new commercial drone unit and an application with the federal government to expand U.S. drone operations, extended hours for U.S. shippers tendering packages for next-day ground delivery, and a global product designed to support the rapid growth of lower-priced items moving in cross border e-commerce…. Taken together, the changes are arguably the most extensive ever announced by UPS at one time…. UPS said. UPS, FedEx and other parcel providers tender parcels to USPS for final-mile delivery to residences, instead of dispatching drivers and equipment to service areas that may have low population densities. By law, USPS must serve every address in the United States.”

Tech: “A bot on your office computer could be sizing you up” [Japan Times]. “Call it automating automation. It’s McKinsey & Co.’s entry into robotic process automation, which is spreading “robots” from the factory floor to the office cubicle as advancing technologies make it easier and more economically feasible for software to perform cognitive tasks now done by humans. It’s transforming office work across the world, including in the Philippines’ offshoring business processing centers, which employ more than a million people and generate annual revenue equal to about 7.5 percent of the nation’s gross domestic product. It could cost a lot of people their jobs, but as McKinsey noted in a report earlier this year, it could also help their companies stay competitive and even capture a bigger market share.” • Thanks, McKinsey!

Tech: “Fighting for the Right to Repair Our Stuff” [The American Conservative]. “While much of the media coverage to date has focused on liberal advocates like Warren, and has garnered coverage in left-of-center publications like The New York Times, Right-to-Repair has been embraced just as actively by some conservatives. Of the 19 states that have introduced Right-to-Repair laws, many are red states like South Dakota and Georgia. Meanwhile, the American Farm Bureau Federation—no bastion of left-wing sympathies—has come out in support of the issue.”

Tech: “Can Disney’s Circle really deliver a porn-free Internet?” [Ars Technica]. “The biggest weakness I found in Circle’s filtering was its apparent ignorance of DuckDuckGo. With no “force safe search mode” offered for DuckDuckGo, Circle leaves filtered people a single image search away from instant and very hardcore pornographic images. DuckDuckGo isn’t a secret; it’s been advertising itself on billboards in major US cities for the last eight years straight. Its absence from Circle’s otherwise comprehensive controls—despite offering its own ‘forced-safe’ functionality—is perplexing.” • Oopsie.

Intellectual Property: Speaking of Disney–

Osamu Tezuka, a Japanese animator, created the anime, “Kimba the White Lion,” in 1965. Disney claims they knew nothing about Tezuka & prided that the Lion King was original content.

“While others search for what they can take, a true king searches for what he can give.” -Mufasa pic.twitter.com/HxoVpByOu7

— boop (@boopyape) July 22, 2019

Concentration: “How the FTC settlement could let Facebook off the hook” [Fast Company]. “Facebook has agreed to pay $5 billion and implement new practices to settle Federal Trade Commission allegations it violated a 2012 settlement on user privacy. But some privacy experts, including the FTC’s two Democratic commissioners and former FTC chief technologist Ashkan Soltani, suggest the settlement goes too far by effectively exonerating Facebook and its executives for any other prior violation of the order. The language of the agreement, as Soltani pointed out on Twitter, says it resolves ‘any and all claims that [Facebook], its officers, and directors, prior to June 12, 2019‘ violated the 2012 settlement. That’s unusual for such an agreement, writes FCC Commissioner Rohit Chopra in a dissenting opinion.” • So, Facebook gets to pay a fine out of petty cash, and gets indemnified for everything it’s done in the past? As Soltani tweets: “Holy crap!”

Concentration: “Breaking Up Amazon Doesn’t Go Far Enough—We Must Put It Under Public Control” [In These Times]. “What should be done with Amazon? While some parts of the company should indeed be broken up, its sprawling scale is not its only problem. Much of what Amazon does is harmful for reasons inherent to the logic of private ownership, and would remain so at any scale. … By becoming the market, Amazon has effectively become the market’s regulator. Such powers should belong to the public. Democratic public ownership of the marketplace platform could retool this infrastructure for public good. The People’s Amazon—call it Ourmazon—could guarantee access to the marketplace for smaller producers rather than driving down the cost of their goods and services. As a public distribution network, Ourmazon could stabilize prices at a point that ensures viability and competitiveness for small businesses at a cost that benefits consumers.”

Honey for the Bears: “AIA: Design Contracts Hit 10-Month Low” [Architect (Nippersmom)]. “AIA’s monthly Architecture Billings Index (ABI) for June came in at a score of 49.1. This is a 1.1-point decrease from last month’s score of 50.2, marking a contraction in demand for design services. The ABI is a leading economic indicator of construction activity in the U.S. and reflects a nine- to 12-month lead time between architecture billings and construction spending nationally, regionally, and by project type. A score above 50 represents an increase in billings from the previous month, while a score below 50 represents a contraction.”

The Biosphere

Yikes:

The Ridgecrest Earthquake shattered desert floor. Some of the clearest images show long scars on the surface of the Mojave Desert, showing precisely the movement of the 30 miles of earthquake fault. https://t.co/Pj97xNUFEK pic.twitter.com/ZO9dncut9U

— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) July 23, 2019

“Air travellers may have to pay carbon charge to offset emissions” [Guardian]. “[UK] Air passengers may have to pay an extra “carbon charge” on flights as part of a government initiative to reduce CO2 emissions and tackle the climate crisis. Passengers could choose to pay more for travel tickets, which would then be used to offset greenhouse gas emissions. Or the scheme could work on an “opt-out” basis and also be applied to trains, buses and ferries. Ministers hope the plans will raise awareness about the effects of public transport on the environment. The extra funds could be used to spearhead eco-friendly projects such as planting trees to reduce the carbon footprint…. However, the transport secretary, Chris Grayling, has launched a call for evidence on offsetting carbon emissions produced by public transport. In addition, the government has expressed concerns consumers may not trust that their payments are supporting worthwhile causes.”

“As climate change threatens California, officials seek ‘sustainable insurance’” [Los Angeles Times]. “California regulators are teaming up with the United Nations to develop ‘sustainable insurance’ guidelines that would help address climate-change-related disasters such as coastal flooding and larger wildfires — the first such partnership of its kind between the international organization and a U.S. state, officials announced Tuesday…. ‘A sustainable insurance road map will enable California to harness risk reduction measures, insurance solutions and investments by the insurance industry in order to build safer, disaster-resilient communities, and accelerate the transition to a low-carbon, sustainable economy,’ said Butch Bacani, the leader of the U.N. initiative.”

“Why Florida Crocs Are Thriving Outside a Nuclear Power Plant” [Smithsonian]. “[Florida Power & Light Co. (FPL)] wildlife specialists collected 73 crocodile hatchlings just last week, and are expecting dozens more to emerge into the world over the remainder of the summer. Twenty-five percent of the 2,000 American crocodiles that now live in the United States call Turkey Point home, and the FPL has been credited with helping down-list the species’ status from ‘endangered’ to ‘threatened’—a change that happened in 2007.”

Games

“Asia’s esports hubs rattled by the rise in game addiction” [Nikkei Asian Review]. “In May, gaming disorder was officially classified as a medical disease by the WHO, which defined it as ‘a pattern of gaming behavior … characterized by impaired control over gaming [and] increasing priority given to gaming over other activities to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other interests and daily activities.’ Mobile games derive the majority of their revenue by selling additional content to players, who have often accessed the base game for free; this means it is in their interests to nudge players toward compulsive actions. Tactics such as ‘loot boxes’ can be particularly compelling, according to Hideki Yasuda, senior analyst at Ace Research Institute.”

Health Care

“Medicaid and Mortality: New Evidence from Linked Survey and Administrative Data” [NBER]. “Our analysis provides new evidence that Medicaid coverage reduces mortality rates among low-income adults. Our estimates suggest that approximately 15,600 deaths would have been averted had the ACA expansions been adopted nationwide as originally intended by the ACA. This highlights an ongoing cost to non-adoption that should be relevant to both state policymakers and their constituents.” • Vox: “This is in line with a growing body of research that shows Medicaid expansion has not only vastly increased access to health insurance, but also improved health outcomes. About 13.6 million adults gained Medicaid coverage under Obamacare.”

The 420

“Urgency of marijuana policy was on full display Tuesday” [Roll Call]. “Rachel Pross, the chief risk officer for Maps Credit Union in Salem, Ore., underscored some of the challenges. The credit union handles accounts for cannabis businesses that are legally operating under Oregon law. ‘We have talked to numerous members who have opened accounts at Maps who have described that they had been storing cash in shoe boxes, empty mattresses,’ Pross said.’There are unscrupulous third-party players involved in this who are selling cash vaulting type of services, and those are not true cash vaults. They are in fact storage units, just basic storage units, full of cash that are earmarked for various businesses.’… ‘It’s impossible to draw a clear line between what is cannabis-related and what is natural commerce that has nothing to do with cannabis,’ Pross said. ‘Not only does Walmart accept money from employees of cannabis businesses in states where it’s legal, but Walmart very likely sells basic business supplies to legal cannabis entities.’”

Our Famously Free Press

“The Fall Of Mic Was A Warning” [HuffPo]. “Mic had already established itself as an improbable upstart in the crowded digital media marketplace by hiring a cadre of bright, passionate young journalists and zeroing in on the types of stories millennials wanted to share: compact pieces with sharp headlines focused on undercovered issues…. [U]ltimately, Mic’s problems were more economic than generational. The colorful anecdotes, custom Nikes and gorgeous office space on the 82nd floor of the One World Trade Center distracted from one critical fact: Mic never developed into a sustainable business. Many of the more than three dozen former employees who spoke to HuffPost said they entered the company hungry and hopeful, only to feel twisted around by a publicly woke company that privately left them feeling exhausted, distrustful of leadership and desperate for financial security. Last November, the company was forced to face the hard truth: Its Facebook-fueled bet on a millennial news site had failed.”

Guillotine Watch

“Schools Reject Offer to Pay Students’ Late Lunch Bills, CEO Says” [TruthDig]. “The president of a Pennsylvania school board whose district had warned parents behind on lunch bills that their children could end up in foster care has rejected a CEO’s offer to cover the cost…. Todd Carmichael, chief executive and co-founder of Philadelphia-based La Colombe Coffee, said he offered to give Wyoming Valley West School District $22,000 to wipe out bills that generated the recent warning letter to parents. But school board President Joseph Mazur rejected the offer during a phone conversation Monday, Carmichael spokesman Aren Platt said Tuesday. Mazur argued that money is owed by parents who can afford to pay, Platt said.”

News of the Wired

“Kurt Vonnegut Diagrams the Shape of All Stories in a Master’s Thesis Rejected by U. Chicago” [OpenCulture]. “The idea is so simple, in fact, that Vonnegut sums the whole thing up in one elegant sentence: ‘The fundamental idea is that stories have shapes which can be drawn on graph paper, and that the shape of a given society’s stories is at least as interesting as the shape of its pots or spearheads.’”

* * *

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For those of you gardening in dry climates.

* * *

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2:00PM Water Cooler 7/24/2019

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theoddcatlady · 7 years

Text

Hatchling

Day One

Gotta do this for two weeks right? Let’s get this show on the road.

(I better edit this before I turn it in.)

I’m naming my ‘baby’ Tabitha. She’s two ounces in weight. I might be crocheting her a hat. Her shell is a pale white, and I hope I can raise her well enough so she grows up well-adjusted and with a solid start in life… or at least well enough so I get an A on this project.

She’s sleeping beside me, close to the lamp but like not RIGHT beneath it, I’m making sure she won’t be too warm. Her matchbox bed’s super cute too, I doodled little pink flowers on it with my highlighter. It might just be a fucking egg but I gotta take care of it, right?

Day Two

Apparently not everyone in class wanted to name their egg baby. Lame. They don’t know how to have fun. My friend Joshua named his Zane. I’ve offered to make a baseball cap for him out of foam. He’s happily accepted and asked me to style it like our school mascot. It’s gonna be hard to make a ram on the tiny foam, but I’ll do my best. I might have a C minus in this life skills class but I’m acing Art.

Tabitha was good today. I did everything I was supposed to. Dripped salt water on it to mimic feeding it milk, making sure it’s not too hot or too cold, and I’m making her a few more hats. I’m really getting into this ‘mother’ thing.

Day Three

Aiden almost made me drop my egg today.

I was showing off the completed hat when he tried to swipe Tabitha from my hands. I’m just glad I got good reflexes. Otherwise cue an immediate fail. I asked what the heck his problem was and he called me a bunch of names that basically revolve around me having a penis. R.U.D.E.

Maybe I’m too committed to this baby project but Mr. Kraft really appreciates it. Gonna score that A along with the rest of the kids in class who are taking this seriously. Aiden has apparently stored his egg in a shoebox under his bed. I can’t imagine how much it’s gonna stink when he takes it out to be graded.

Day Four

Not much happened today. I’m spending all my time making hats for Tabitha and the other people in class who love that I’m really customizing my egg. Some people have drawn lil faces on their eggs, Joshua drew a mustache on Zane.

Overall though, Tabitha is the child I’d want in real life. Quiet. Not bothersome. And I can put her in cute hats!

Day Five

Crap. Crap Crap crap.

I’m worried Tabitha’s rotting. Like. I’m pretty sure there’s something been done to these eggs to make that not happen? But there’s like this spot on the bottom that was NOT there before.

It wasn’t there during school, I let Mr. Kraft examine her during class so he could check my progress. I can’t blame him, everyone brought in their eggs. Aiden made up a bullshit excuse about how he forgot it but like I’m pretty sure he dropped it and it broke. Moron. Either way he got marked down so not my problem.

My problem IS the black spot on Tabitha. I’ve bathed her and attempted to rub it off, it’s kinda fuzzy like mildew and leaves a stain like it, but I’m so worried I’ll get marked down for it. I’ll talk to Mr. Kraft after the weekend.

Day Six

Welp.

The fuzziness is back, and the black stain’s spreading across the egg. Weird part is that Tabitha doesn’t smell like spoiled eggs. She doesn’t smell GOOD though, kinda like burnt hair? I’ve burned my hair enough trying to figure out a curling iron to know what that smells like.

I let my mom look at her, and she’s just as puzzled. But she made me feel better, told me that she knew I was taking super good care of Tabitha and this is just like a real baby in a sense. Sometimes they get sick and there’s just no reason behind it, I didn’t do anything wrong. I just gotta keep up dripping salt water on her and trying to clean her off.

Day Seven

Yeah. Tabitha’s gone entirely fuzzy. Like a furby. A black, smelly furby. The fluff’s thick like the toy, not quite fuzzy like mildew.

I’m so embarrassed. I’ve called Joshua to see if he knows what to do but he won’t pick up the damn phone. I guess he’s just busy with practicing for the next big game Wednesday. Go Rams! But anyway I’ll just show Tabitha to the teacher tomorrow, and if he fails me, I’ll try to bargain up to a D. Since I honestly did nothing and my mom can vouch for it. My egg’s just gone weird.

Day Eight

Mr. Kraft wasn’t in so we had a substitute. When I showed her the egg, she seemed more distracted by my voice but after I steered her back on the right topic she told me to keep following instruction and Mr. Kraft will handle grading.

Joshua’s out sick too. Boo. I miss him.

Day Nine

I swear. My egg moved.

Like Aiden was hassling me again about taking Tabitha everywhere and was about to swat her again when she just rolled out of the way. Aiden took off running after that. I swear he looked pale. I can’t blame him. That. Was weird.

I must be imagining things. Maybe the air from Aiden’s hand made her move? That’s the only reason I can think of.

Day Ten

I thought I was going to die today.

I was going to the bathroom when I felt someone grab me by the hair and drag me into the men’s room. I screamed and started punching frantically. I was gonna be another statistic, I just knew it. But it was Aiden, and for once, he wasn’t calling me slurs or out to make my life annoying.

He told me that his egg was gone.

It’d happened the morning of the five day check. He’d gone under his bed to get his egg Agatha (he apparently had the habit of calling her Aggie for short) and she was. Gone. He showed me the shoebox and it had pieces of fluff like the stuff covering Tabitha along with bits of eggshell and this nasty smelling dried black gunk.

He asked me if Tabitha had moved anymore. I pulled her from the cute lil carrier I made for her and set her on the counter.

Tabitha’s moving all the time now. Wiggling like a Mexican Jumping Bean. It’s not too noticeable when she’s in the pouch but when she’s free roaming it’s obvious it’s not just air currents. Aiden looked ready to piss himself, and I was pretty damn close too.

I put her back in the pouch and told him that I’ll try to find Mr. Kraft and ask him where he got these eggs. But other than that, I really didn’t know what to do. Maybe this is some weird mutant chicken, or maybe the egg just combusted under the heat of Aiden’s bed.

I took Tabitha to the game tonight in attempts to find Joshua and see if the same thing is happening to his egg, but he’s not there. I’m getting worried.

Before I go to Mr. Kraft, I’m going to Joshua’s house tomorrow to see if he’s okay.

Day Eleven

Tabitha hatched.

It happened after my mom left. I was almost done getting ready when I heard something like a twig snapping. I paused and just looked over at Tabitha.

Her egg was dripping a clear, oily substance. I pulled up a chair and sat over her, watching. I had to see what came out.

It wasn’t really what came out, it was more like… what unfolded.

Like a starfish, her legs unwrapped from her body and she stood up on all six of them, her body no bigger than my hand. Her head craned up, its dozen black eyes staring at me as the comically pink hat I’d made for her sat on her abdomen.

Then she went for my face.

I’m hiding in the bathroom now, towels stuffed under the door. I can hear Tabitha squeaking, she’s really desperate to get in here. She’s torn a good chunk out of my cheek and neck. Nothing vital but holy shit her teeth are like razors. I’m lucky she didn’t take out an eye.

I’ve called 911 and I’m waiting now, armed with toilet cleaner and trying to stem the bleeding with a washcloth.

I really hope they get here soon.

Day who the fuck cares, this is clearly not for the project anymore.

I needed a few dozen stitches. For the first attack and the second, after she managed to get through the vent into the bathroom. She tore quite a few hunks out of my calf before someone burst in. They described her like a rat the way she scurried down the bathroom drain.

I will absolutely have scars on my face, but eh. I didn’t really how I looked anyway.

… Joshua’s dead.

So is Aiden. And another student from our class, Hannah. They were found in their rooms, their throats ripped out and several chunks from their bodies eaten. The eggs must’ve hatched when they were sleeping, and Aggie must’ve returned to the bedroom for a snack. Joshua’s dad didn’t know until he got home Wednesday and smelled Joshua’s body. He’d been out of town. But I think Aiden’s and Hannah’s parents are dead too. The little fuckers got greedy.

I keep just thinking about Joshua. We’ve been friends since we were kids. I can’t stop thinking about the one time we missed the bus and it was raining. We just looped arms and started running home, even though it was pouring. Our moms were furious. We were soaking wet and covered in mud. I think Joshua got a small sniffle. It was the best day.

And he’s gone. He’s gone.

A lot of the other kids in class were injured. Some of their eggs hadn’t hatched yet, those were taken into evidence apparently and Mr. Kraft’s being investigated for the deaths of his students.

Somehow I think they’re never going to find him.

A New Day One

Tabitha’s back.

She didn’t try to kill me this time though. I woke up and she was sprawled across my chest like a damn cat. I screamed and sat up so fast she went flying across the room. But she came back, crawled up on the bed. I was ready to squash her like a fly when she sat on my hand.

Just sat there. She knew I could kill her. And she chose to stay.

Maybe she imprinted on me. You know, before she tried to eat my face. That’s what baby ducks do.

I’ve put her in an old fish tank for now, and I’ve found she’ll hunt mice if I let her out during the day. She vomits up their half dissolved skeletons. I’ve been buying some for her too so she doesn’t get hungry. She likes them a lot. She purrs after a good feed and sits on my lap while I do my homework, rumbling away.

I can’t bring myself to get rid of her. She’s my baby, after all.

#sixpenceee #sixpenceee stories #monsters #horror stories #scary stories #my stories

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redditnosleep · 7 years

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You’ve Got Long, Long Legs

by peachsquid

My job is boring. I work in an office and do data entry for eight hours a day. Then I go home to my dull, taupe colored apartment. I feel like I'm the kind of person who would have a cat. But I don't have a cat. I have some plants, so I go home and water my plants. I eat tasteless microwaveable food then I go to sleep and have dull dreams. Sometimes I spice things up and order Chinese food for delivery. My life is mind-numbingly boring.

Then one day, one of my coworkers came to work with a smile on his face and a straw hat tilted at a jaunty angle on his head. He was humming a song when he sat at his desk. He stared at his key board for a moment with that smile still plastered on his usually grumpy face. He turned to me and said “well I can't for the life of me remember how to use this darned thing.” Then he turned his head back to his computer, his neck made an eerie popping sound and I swear, I saw a strange bulge for just a second at the base of his neck.

Finally, something interesting. I'm not going to take my eyes off him. I'm going to watch this all play out, I thought. I'm hesitant to say that I'm ‘glad' I did, but I was right, my life finally got interesting.

It has been unseasonably warm for weeks. The air was out in the office. Everyone was in a terrible mood, worse than usual. The man who sat next to me, Sam, was always miserable. He was downright intolerable since the air quit. He banged around the office, threw files on his desk and cursed under his breath. I ignored him. I ignored everyone. I had no office friends. I typed and took my hour lunch break and two cigarette breaks and made no eye contact.

Then, like I said, things got interesting. I got to work one morning. The office was sweltering. My boss was in his office. He had a framed picture of his three cats on his desk. I thought about getting a pet. My boss grunted at me in greeting. Pets certainly haven't improved his life, so why bother?

I sat at my desk. People started to trail in. Sam walked in. I noticed because he was humming. He sat at his desk and we had our weird, one sided exchange. He went back to humming while he slowly poked at his keyboard with his index finger. I recognized the tune. It was a new song, always on the radio. I liked it, but it always struck me as strange that it was such a hit, it sounded old timey, like it was being sung into one of those old fashioned microphones in a club by man wearing a hat and smoking a cigarette.

“You've got long, long legs/and big green eyes/when you look at me baby/oh I get hypnotized”

I didn't get any work done that day. I watched Sam. I watched him type away with one finger. I watched the back of his neck. I watched the smile on his face. He never stopped smiling. He never stopped humming.

At the end of the day, I took a look at his computer screen before I left. I had visions of “all work and no play make Sam a dull boy.” But on the screen were just the letters “efgh” over and over and over. I was…disappointed.

I went home. I watered my plants. I dreamed about things moving around at the base of my neck.

The next day, and the ones after that, Sam came to work with a smile. The office was still a sauna. My boss shut his door and set up an oscillating fan. I watched Sam type. He had started to sing quietly as he worked.

“You've got long, long legs/and big green eyes/ oh baby if this ain't love/ it's my demise”

This was my routine for almost two weeks. The AC got fixed, I ordered Chinese twice. Sam smiled and typed and sang. Life was a little more interesting.

One day, as I watched Sam, something moved underneath the skin at the corner of his upturned mouth. I leaned forward. There it was again, a ripple, definitely not a tremor or a tick. Something was under his skin. He saw me looking. He turned his whole body to look at me. His smile got bigger.

“Lovely weather we're having,” he said.

I nodded. He turned back to his computer. At the end of the day I looked at his screen. He had typed “ijkl” repeatedly. I followed him out the door.

He walked down the sidewalk, hands swinging at his sides. I had followed him for almost a block when he suddenly walked sideways into an alley. I peered around the edge of the brick wall. He was standing halfway down the alley, near a dumpster and his shoes drenched in whatever gooey trash and slime that coating the cement. He leaned slightly to the left. Then his body shuddered like he was freezing. He straightened up and moved his head and neck around like he was stretching the muscles. His neck made that strange popping sound again. Something bulged at the base of his neck. I turned and walked away.

The next day, in the afternoon, Sam turned to me and said “I sure am hungry,” and he smiled so wide that the corners of his mouth cracked.

That day my boss came out of his office and yelled at Sam about not getting some reports in on time and to “wipe that fucking smile” off his face and to “take off that ridiculous hat.” Sam didn't do either.

I decided to buy some fish. Maybe some snails. I spent time that night researching aquariums. I listened to the radio. That song played twice before I went to bed.

“You've got long, long legs/ and big green eyes/ oh baby don't ya know/ ya keep me satisfied/come on!”

The next morning my boss yelled at all of us for our lack of initiative. Sam hunched over his computer at an awkward angle. The bulge at the back of his neck was prominent.

I hadn't taken a cigarette break since I started watching Sam. The day before yesterday, I threw the rest of my pack away and I didn't buy a new one.

When I got into work yesterday, my boss was at Sam's desk. He was looking through Sam's files. Sam walked in.

“The hell is all this?” my boss yelled. Sam smiled.

“This is your last warning, get your shit together or you're fired,” he stomped into his office.

Sam sat down at his desk. His eyes looked like they were sinking into his face. His skin was pale and looked loose, like he had lost a lot of weight. He was still smiling. Still wearing that straw hat. He looked at me, his head cocked slightly to the side.

“The weather sure is fine,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said.

“I sure am hungry,” he said.

“Eat something?” I said.

“Maybe later. Time to work.”

At the end of the day Sam's face was nearly touching the keyboard because he was so hunched over. Everyone else had left for the day except me, my boss and Sam.

Sam got up from his desk and walked in a halting, almost drunken stagger, to the restroom. He was singing quietly as he went. I followed him.

I opened the door just enough so I could peek in. Sam was standing in front of the mirror. He was singing. He reached up and took off his hat. The top of his head was split open and something pink was wriggling around inside.

“You've got long, long legs” he sang. He put the hat down on the counter.

“And big, green eyes,” he put both hands on the counter and leaned forward.

“Oh baby,” his body began to stretch. His arms started to get longer, his shirt split down the seams as his chest and back expanded. His legs started to stretch, too.

“That's right,” he said quietly, I could hardly hear him.

“That's right, I have long, long legs, and I got big green eyes, and oh baby, I'm hungry.”

I shut the bathroom door quietly and hurried out of the office. Last night, I ordered pizza.

This morning, when I got in to work, my boss was in his office. He was smiling.

“Hey,” he said as I walked to my desk, “come here.”

I walked into his office. He smiled, a big, toothy grin. I noticed a comically large watch on his wrist. The time was wrong. Music was playing quietly from his computer speakers. I knew the song well.

“You like cats?” he said, still smiling. I shrugged.

He bent down under his desk and came up with a pet carrier. He put it down on the desk. Three uncomfortable looking cats were crammed inside. He smiled at me and something under the skin of his forehead rippled.

“Don't think I'm much of a cat person,” my boss said. He pushed the pet carrier closer to me. One of the cats meowed.

“Take ‘em home. Heck, take the day off. Lovely weather we're having.”

So now I have three cats. And a couple of plants. And I'm going to take the day off and look for another job.

#creepy #horror story

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pergibali-blog · 4 years

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9 Tips Travel to Bali You Should Know

New Post has been published on https://www.pergibali.com/tips-travel-to-bali/

9 Tips Travel to Bali You Should Know

Tips travel to Bali – We know bringing your shopping bag better. But there’s another reason to do it too: it could save you from getting scammed. Bali life may be a bit of a culture shock for first timers; it is overwhelming, busy, loud and you will get hassled. But if you be friendly unwind in your first couple of days and let it sink , Bali could be a place to dine shop, sightsee and soak .

Listed below are nine principles every tourist should know before they going to travelling Bali, from why you should BYO bags, to.

DO YOUR RESEARCH

The first tips travel to Bali is doing research. Bali is a land of beauty and contrasts, and therefore, there’s plenty. In the hustle and bustle of beachside Kuta and Seminyak, into the laid-back vibes of Canggu and Nusa Dua and the cooler mountainous areas of Ubud and Kintamani, Bali is like a choose your own adventure when it comes to deciding what kind of holiday experience you’re after.

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There are a number of essential things you need to understand when organizing your Balinese escape. To Bali, Indonesia needs a six months’ validity on your passport from your entry date like all destinations. Unless you intend on staying for 31 to 60 days, if travelling on an Australian passport, then you can get a visa on arrival into Indonesia. If you are, buy the $ US35 visa at the immigration counter at Bali Airport in Denpasar on arrival.

Departure tax is included.

The second tips travel to Bali is about departure tax. There are numerous Facebook groups offering advice for first timers to Bali about everything from where to have the coldest Bintangs and best value nasi goreng to just how much to purchase souvenirs, clothes, bags and shoes, but be choosy as many have questionable criteria when it comes to the moral treatment of animals in Bali.

If you do want to get a wildlife encounter, be informed about which animal attractions are ethical and offer sustainable, cruelty-free pursuits. World Animal Protection sites and the TripAdvisor have the latest information on animal tourism when travelling Bali

BRING YOUR OWN BAG

The next tips travel to Bali is bring your own shopping bag. Shopping is an Olympic sport in Bali, so make certain that you’ve got some staying power — and a sense of humour. You can buy anything from beverage holders and T-shirts to penis-shaped and jewelry bottle openers. The Balinese like to haggle. And hassle. You are going to be catcalled and followed closely with supplies of lower prices and value, but it’s all in good fun.

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It’s not advisable to make your own reusable shopping bags on an outing. Not only can it be good for the entire world but you are going to avoid being”labelled”; if you do happen to get ripped off, some store owners will place your merchandise in a certain coloured plastic bag, which means you’re an easy target for inflated rates.

Remember this tips travel to Bali, haggling is assumed to be fun, and often you’ll be more squabbling over a few bucks. Sometimes it’s far better to give in and move on. There is a rise in the amount of price shops in shopping places, which means you can prevent haggling.

ONLY USE BLUE BIRD TAXIS

Next tips travel to Bali use Bluebird taxi. Bali can be chaotic when you first land at Denpasar International Airport, so arrange a pick-up before you leave home and avoid the craziness. Be sure you get an air conditioned van or automobile as the Bali heat can be stifling.

Tremendously varies. Just use metered Bluebird Taxis, if you’re using taxis. The Blue Bird Taxi app can be downloaded by you and order a ride, just as you want with Uber. You can also hail one on the street, but be careful it is not a Blue Biro Taxi, or Blue Bird Taxi… some motorists go to great lengths to produce their taxis like a formal Blue Bird. If you forgot with this tips travel to Bali, you can get high rate.

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Traffic is horrible, so allow lots of time on top of this”expected arrival time”. It may be hair raising if you’re not experienced, although Employing a scooter is faster and cheaper. Additionally, no insurance carrier will pay you for vehicle, scooter or motorcycle accidents unless you’ve got a valid permit for that vehicle in addition to an licence, therefore a driver could possibly be the best option for sightseeing trips.

The going rate for a motorist is $50 per day up to about eight hours of sightseeing. You can download and use the Gojek application to get given to your hotel door if you’re following supplies.

ALWAYS ASK FOR AIR CONDITIONING

Tips travel to Bali that you should remember is always ask for air conditioning. Accommodation is plentiful in budget — and Bali — it is easy to find a resort hotel, homestay or shore shack in the area you prefer to fit your requirements. The major tourist spots are Kuta around the coast, Seminyak, which is slightly north of Kuta, Nusa Dua about this island’s south-west tip, Ubud from the uplands and Canggu on the coast.

Again, TripAdvisor is a superb resource for hotel information. Basic tips travel to Bali are to make certain you receive a room with a secure and AC, and always take the details of your hotel with you so you can easily find your way back — there are a lot of hotels with names that are similar.

BEWARE: YOU’LL BE A MILLIONAIRE

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Don’t be surprised when going to travelling Bali. That’s one of tips travel to Bali, why? Because the currency — that the rupiah — can be a little overwhelming, so before you go become familiar with it. Money changers are everywhere but only use those in areas. Be cautious during your trade to make sure you are the last person before you leave, to count your cash. That is one of tips travel to Bali that you should remember.

ATM skimming is common in Bali, be sure the ATM seems to be in good working order before using it and so be careful when entering your PIN. You should beware when travelling Bali. It is, if it seems dodgy. If money changers are used by you or purchase it out of an ATM, you are going to wind up with wads of cash — $1 will get you 14,500 rupiah so in the event that you change $100 you will be a millionaire in Bali!

GET A LOCAL SIM

Don’t forget next tips travel to Bali is using Local SIM card. Most hotels, attractions and restaurants in Bali now have free Wi-Fi, you need to ask for the password. You can even get a regional SIM when you land at the airport and up it as you go to prevent excessive roaming charges .

STEER CLEAR OF STARBUCKS, AND ARAK

One of tips travel to Bali is beware with “ARAK”. Bali has some of the greatest food in the region — at roadside warnings from traditional Indonesian dishes into degustation menus. Don’t be afraid to try food as long as any meat products are cooked in front of you and are stored on ice. Restaurants and cafes are everywhere — you see the sunset over a backyard that is stunningly or can eat directly on the beach with the water lapping at your feet.

Popular restaurants publication out quickly, so book a table online or by calling. Your hotel concierge can help with suggestions. Government tax and service will be added to your bill when dining at restaurants, so keep this in mind. Bali has a great java culture driven by locals and expats don’t just go to Starbucks.

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Wine is expensive everywhere and sadly, methanol poisoning is a risk when purchasing spirits. Drink spirits you have bought there and started yourself or your own duty free alcohol. Never drink arak when you travelling Bali — if you don’t desire a trip to the 16, or Balinese hospital.

ALWAYS TAKE SUNSCREEN AND TISSUES

The other one tips travel to Bali that you should prepared it sunscreen and tissues. Watch your GP before you leave, any vaccinations you may require. Make sure you let them know if you’ll be visiting animal attractions, such as the Monkey Forest in Ubud. You’ve heard horror stories about Bali Belly, and it is very common, so be prepared with a travel kit.

You can also visit Apotek, or a local chemist, such as advice. In cases that are acute, get your hotel to call a physician or go to a medical centre and have your credit card and travel insurance coverage . Drink bottled water and use it when brushing your teeth too. Resist the desire to open your mouth in these outdoor showers and resort pools.

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One of the most important tips travel to Bali is sunscreen. Why? Sunlight is brutal in Bali, because it can be costly to get there, and also stock up on insect repellent for mosquitoes, bed bugs and cane mites, so take lots of sunscreen. Use hand sanitizer as some bathrooms do not have toilet paper and carry cells.

DON’T BE FOOLED BY ‘PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS’

Prior to traveling Bali, always get travel insurance. You will never know what may happen and medical costs can accumulate. Keep your passport together with you personally, or secured in the hotel safe, and it is a fantastic idea to replicate all travel documents and email a copy to your own or depart with someone in your home.

Injuring yourself when walking around the uneven streets of Bali is pretty common, so be aware that the lines painted on Bali roads — those that look like our pedestrian crossings and keep an eye — are really only for decoration, that’s one of tips travel to Bali.

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Get a Blue Bird taxi or walk alongside main roads; don’t take shortcuts through neighborhood you are unfamiliar with if you are coming back to a hotel late at night.

Conclusion

There’s several tips travel to Bali that you should prepared and should you know. Bali has beautiful panoramas, beautiful beaches and many cultures that you should aware. If you going to travelling bali with your family and kid, there’s several place that kid friendly and should you planned. You can read this article:

5 place Travelling Bali With Kid

Don’t forget subscribe to our news and you’ll get notified another tips travel to Bali

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porfirioenserafinakg73insur-blog · 5 years

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Tip cheap car insurance for young drivers in ny

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurefinder.xyz

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wildlyhardphilosopher-blog · 6 years

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potty trained dog peeing in house | how to train puppies

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/potty-trained-dog-peeing-in-house-how-to-train-puppies/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

potty trained dog peeing in house | how to train puppies

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By feeding your dog at the same time each day and offering regularly spaced walks and outside potty breaks, you can condition her to “go” at set times each day. Housetraining For Dummies Puppy Behavior and Training – Training Basics 1-800-672-4399 Sit and stay on cue in various situations, like waiting at the vet. 12. How To Feed Your Puppy Build on your dog’s “stay” skills with the Three D’s of training: But if you start small, restrict them to and potty train them in one area, then expand bit by bit, it’s easier for your puppy to associate the new area with their living space that they’re supposed to keep clean. Wrong Ways to Discipline Puppies When will my puppy be house trained BUY NOW June 12 -16, 2018 LIFELONG COMMUNICATION WITH DOGS Make a Schedule Art of Living with Your Dog Quiz: Do You Know the Ins and Outs of Mats & Tangles? Stop a Dog from Humping This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. 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Not taking your dog out enough At first you are going to let the puppy see the food in your hand so that you will have her attention and can use it to guide her into position. As your puppy begins to comply more readily, you can start to hide the food in your hand, but give the command and repeat the motion or signal that she has learned to follow. Soon the puppy will come to expect the treat each time she performs the task. Then, signal and give the command, but when she performs the task, reward only with praise and give the puppy an affectionate pat. Next, you can begin to vary the frequency, giving praise with “good dog” and perhaps patting each time, but giving the food randomly, perhaps every 3 or 4 times. In time, the puppy should respond to either the hand signal or the command. Stop a Boxer Dog from Biting Clearance The only ways to deal with a dog that is this aggressive are to euthanize, manage, or educate — and McDaniel said the dog training school strives to educate in order to save canine lives. Where To Buy If you catch your puppy pottying in the wrong spot, you should simply clap your hands and say a firm ‘NO!’. You don’t want to shock and scare them, just loud enough to startle and get their attention. Most Popular Assessment Get Help for Migraine Relief Howdini the vet for even the simplest of Blue Cross Week 2018 Castor & Pollux Many owners appear disappointed that their young puppy will not toilet when out on a walk, yet relieves itself the second it gets back home. This is because the puppy has been taught to toilet only at home (hopefully in its garden), and being creatures of habit, they often wait until they have returned home before evacuating their bladder and/ or bowels. 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When I take her out she stops instantly then falls asleep, when I move her back again it repeats. This is only night 3 of having her, but its late, first night stayed up all night with her, second night left her outside the crate which meant mess in the morning and tonight it’s 00:49 hours. Any helpful advice would be appreciated. User Terms Symptom Checker The Ultimate List: Service Dog Schools With Adoption Programs I prefer to be contacted by: * Overview of Collections Our experts are available 24/7: Sherpa How much money have you already wasted on obedience training only to be more confused than you were before? Nothing is helping. You’re quite confident your dog is a dud, because he simply won’t obey you. $14.00 Keep Your Early Puppy Training Sessions Short Personal Development Click to choose the best training path for your dog! Once you have everything you need, you’ll want a secure location to train. Start indoors, and gradually move to outdoor locations with more distractions as your puppy masters the command. Professor Donaldson debunks a common myth about dog behavior. She discusses in depth the reasons dogs may have accidents and provides several ways to train your dog out of this behavior. She covers a number of techniques to curb common bad habits such as chewing and digging with distraction or alternatives. x Don’t Take our word for it. Advanced Agility Is cannabis safe for cats? And what sorts of ailments might it treat? Recall Workshop Four Methods To Choose From For House Training Your Puppy

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#guide puppy training #house training a chihuahua

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boozedancing · 6 years

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AK: Hey, G-LO, do anything for Record Store Day this year?

G-LO: Sure didn’t make it to a record store. I’ll blame those damn kids of mine for missing out on the fun. How about you?

AK: I took a kid to a record store. And it was my kid. The 17 year old daughter. She’s got the vinyl bug. It’s not an actual bug cuz I ain’t paying for a de-lousing.

G-LO: Whew! Been there with the lice! Never fun. Interestingly enough, the Great Lice Incident of 2010 happened while I was at a Whisky Extravaganza, so I didn’t have to deal with it. I got lucky for once and dodged some critters. Thank god for whisky!

AK: It is THE best medicine.

G-LO: Amen, Brother! Did the kid buy any vinyl?

AK: She did. She’s not like me. I was flipping through every record in every bin in a store when I was her age. She’s focused, unlike me.

https://vimeo.com/265386725

G-LO: I remember those days. I skipped my high school senior prom and went vinyl hunting on South Street instead. I mostly bought used LPs. We were crazy for vinyl back in the day. So many record stores in Philly, especially used ones. We’d occasionally road trip to a place called Plastic Fantastic in Villanova. Or was it Bryn Mawr?

AK: Here too. Big stores and little independent ones. I worked at The Wherehouse in college. Think they were only in California. But they were big time store. Fun working there. Fueled my own vinyl bug.

G-LO: God, we’re old.

AK: Yes, yes we are. But these are good memories.

G-LO: I concur. We were a bunch of music and vinyl junkies back then. So much fun.

AK: I loved flipping through the bins. Spent many days doing that. Took the kid to Amoeba Records in Hollywood for all the Record Store Day festivities. She got her four albums, and I got bupkis. And the bill.

G-LO: Ain’t that always how it goes? Ahhhhh, the joys of parenting!

AK: I used to buy lots of used and cut-outs on account of me being cheap. You’d be shocked about the prices today. Just insane.

G-LO: I don’t wanna know.

AK: No, sir, you do not. That being said, I love that she has the vinyl bug. My 1,000+ record collection has an heir!

G-LO: Or at the very least, a way to fund a month of college tuition. One word: eBay.

AK: Thanks for reminding me about the cost of higher education.

G-LO: Wait. 1,000+???

AK: Used to be 2,000+, but when Offspring #3 arrived and space at home became… scarce, I sold off about half of them. I didn’t really need a picture disc of Journey’s second album, did I?

G-LO: Yes, you did, Mr. Perry. You stopped believin!

AK: Sadly, I did. So they’re all in boxes in my office at work waiting for their triumphant return to the castle.

G-LO: I sold my 350+ collection when I got married.

AK: I would have bought them!

G-LO: Hoarder!

AK: Watch your mouth, Sonny!

G-LO: Ever see High Fidelity?

AK: Love that movie! The book is great too.

G-LO: YES! I think the Jack Black character was inspired by the guy that refused to buy my albums. All I remember is him calling over his buddy and saying something like, “Yo, Mitch! Check it out! Aqualung. Never saw that one before.”

AK: Your buyer didn’t want your Cecilio & Kapono collection?

G-LO: I kid you not. I sold many things when I got married. And 19 years later, they’ve all come back. Vinyl. Steel frame bike.

AK: What goes around, comes around. I’ve often thought how my vinyl record life and my whisky life never intersected. I fondly remember sitting back for an evening of record playing. With a soda pop or some cheap booze. Would’ve been great to have a dram or two while reading the liner notes.

G-LO: Totally! I kinda miss album art and liner notes. Used to study those things ad nauseum. Dates. Musicians. Producers. I’d have it all memorized.

AK: Me too! Like baseball data. Those CD’s are not for old man eyes. The iPhone is convenient but not exactly the same as a gatefold double LP to hold in your hands.

G-LO: So true. First serious album you ever bought? And “Ernie’s Greatest Hits” doesn’t count, Big Bird.

AK: I don’t remember the first LP. But the first single was…”Bungle in the Jungle”. Jethro Tull. It all comes back to Mr. Aqualung, my friend.

G-LO: For me, I think it was Billy Joel’s “52nd Street”. Or maybe the Star Wars soundtrack? I remember saving up for two months to buy that! Donna Summer’s “Greatest Hits”. Had that too. And a poster of her sitting on one of those big old radios.

AK: $3.99 was a lot of money back then! Double albums. A bit more. I recall doubles being $11.99 in the late 70s-early 80’s. Again, you don’t want to know the price today. I wish someone could figure out how to put our vinyl love together with our boozy love.

G-LO: Funny you mention that.

AK: I’m a funny guy.

G-LO: With a face that only a mother could love.

AK: Not my mother

G-LO: Mine neither. Booze and Vinyl.

AK: Booze and Vinyl. That should be the name of a book or something.

G-LO: Guess you haven’t checked your mailbox lately. Seriously. Go check!

AK: It’s a long walk to the mail box at the end of our estate. Hold on. I’ll take a jog. Back in about 15 minutes. Unless I take the horse.

G-LO: Ride like the wind, Bullseye!

60 minutes and 18 seconds later…

AK: I’m back! Jeez, we really need to get a new horse or get a moving sidewalk, though that would probably require moving the tennis court and the Roman fountains. Let’s see, what did the mail carrier bring today? Bill, bill, bill, junk mail, bill, bill, tax lien, bill, Publisher’s Clearing House, TV Guide, bill, occupant, occupant, Reader’s Digest., Highlights, Life, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, bill. What’s this? A book?! Booze and Vinyl? What the heck?!

G-LO: Indeed! It’s like they know us.

AK:They? Now I’m worried. This is way better than another Christmas catalog and Target ad!

G-LO: Totally! I’ve been perusing it for a couple weeks now. Love the concept! Thirst inducing AND it has me kicking myself (which isn’t easy thanks to my bursitis!) for selling my vinyl.

AK: I love the cover! Though I’m appalled that the records aren’t alphabetized and in clear plastic covers! Ok, I was a tad anal about my collection. I’m sorry.

G-LO: Never kept my albums in plastic, but they were alphabetized by artist and then in order by release date.

AK: Good man. If you’re gonna do it, do it right. I love the look of this book. Pretty neat that the writers pair albums with cocktails and give you the recipes! Brilliant!

G-LO: I’ve tried to go digital with all things and rarely buy books. This one would lose something on a Kindle. Love the feel of the paper and the photography. So so pretty! And just the right size too.

AK: Divided up by kind of music. Good, because I don’t like all music! I’m a snob!

G-LO: Yes, you are. And you don’t drink beer. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?

AK: Spun way too many records in my time probably.

G-LO: No doubt. There are some delicious sounding cocktails in here. Nice mix of classics, riffs on classics, and a couple “Why didn’t I think of that?” ones.

AK: It’s a very well thought out concept for a book. What booze goes with what music or album? It’s a recipe for a party, dinner party, date night, or a solo night.

G-LO: Absolutely! But there is one risk, Mr. Anal Retentive Record Collector: Scratched records and booze spills on records!

AK: That’s two risks. But this is a book for adults, not pimply faced kids who are trying to fire up some cash for a sixer (as opposed to a Sixer) and a bag of Cheetos. It’s adult reading about adult activities. Insert your own joke here.

G-LO: Good point! I love background music when I’m drinking. Adds to the experience.

AK: And this is the kind of book that would be perfect to read while spinning a record with a cocktail in hand. Interesting thoughts on the vinyl and the recipes. Plenty to give one pause… between sips.

G-LO: They got their mise en scene on fo’sho!

AK: Brother and sister writing team. Wonder how they came up with the list of records and drinks. Probably no fighting at all. Siblings love each other, right?

G-LO: Some do. Some don’t. This book ain’t their first rodeo. Lots of drinks and record spinning is my guess.

AK: Booze can be inspiring. All in the name of research!

G-LO: Until you get poo-faced.

AK: Ick

G-LO: Exactly.

AK: Quick! What are your five desert island discs from the book?

G-LO: “London Calling”, The Clash. Buena Vista Social Club. “Kind of Blue”, Miles Davis. “What’s Goin On”, Marvin Gaye. “In the Wee Small Hours of the Evening” by The Chairman of the Board. You?

AK: Jeez! That was fast! Hmmm. The Cars first album, Pogues “Rum Sodomy and the Lash”, The Doors first album, Sinatra, AC/DC “Back In Black”. Wish Frank could’ve done a few covers off that one!

G-LO: Respect! Ask me tomorrow and I’ll have five different discs for ya.

AK: I hear that! Quick! Five cocktails from the book to go with your choices.

G-LO: Whiskey Smash! Godfather! Aviation! Suffering Bastard! Old Fashioned! BOOM! Yours?

AK: Old Fashioned, Gin & Tonic, Whiskey Smash, Smoking Martini, Manhattan! BOOM!

G-LO: Yowza! I really like cocktails.

#TequilaNegroni! Thanks to @withthedarlingtons for the guidance! #DamnThatsDelish! . . #cocktails #cocktail #booze #drinks #dranks #mexitalian #agave #liquor #boozeandvinyl #nightcap #boozeography #lookdown

A post shared by Don G-LO Corleone 🥃🍸🍻 (@boozedancing) on Apr 28, 2018 at 8:02pm PDT

AK: Ok, Disc Doctor, why’d you choose those records?

G-LO: It was about mood. Chilly and rainy day. Making picks while on the train. They just spoke to me.

AK: This is the neat thing about a book like this. It promotes conversation. Just like whisky!

G-LO: Plus, those discs are legit.

AK: Mood really is a factor. Weather too. I’ve been on a Cars thing since they’ve been getting some buzz again after getting into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

G-LO: Absolutely. Two weeks ago I was all about Jack White and all of his music permutations. Tonight, I’m all into Tom Waits.

AK: The only part of a song I can play on a keyboard is from “Moving In Stereo”. Here, I’ll show you… oh, wait… never mind.

G-LO: That’s one more song than I can play. I have zero musical talent.

AK: That Pogues album is so Irish. There’s pain, drinking, and pain, and drinking.

G-LO: Ever hear Lewis Black and his bit about the Irish?

AK: No

G-LO: Name three albums that you would add to the book. Go!

AK: Mark Lanegan “The Winding Sheet”. Metallica “The Black Album”. Rush “Permanent Waves”. Now you!

G-LO: “Rain Dogs” by Tom Waits. “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd. “Exile on Main Street” by The Rolling Stones.

AK: We’re on a roll! Thinking about our friend, Rob Gard. Didn’t he say something like “no cocktail should have more that four ingredients, and one of those has to be ice”? Those are my kind of cocktails. Not too complicated, yet tasty.

G-LO: Sounds right. The Darlingtons must be friends of Rob. Turn to pages 12 and 13. Me thinks I’m gonna have a 2 ingredient cocktail.

AK: This is my kind of list! Fifty plus cocktails with 2-3 ingredients! This is my language considering my limited bar and language skills. Rob and the Darlingtons would get along famously!

G-LO: Totally! These crazy Booze and Vinyl kids live in Philly.

AK: WTF? In your ‘hood! Booze and Vinyl party at The Barthenon!

G-LO: Apparently! They had a couple of events for the launch last week and the week before. Damn kids and work got in my way! Two questions… Whatcha listening to? And, whatcha drinking?

AK: I got three answers.

G-LO: Show off!

AK: I actually have the Cars on. And I’m killing a bottle of Creative Whisky Co. Islay bottling. And my third answer is “C”.

G-LO: “C” is how I passed tests in college. It was also my final grade more often than not.

AK: As long as your above sea level, it’s a-ok. What’s playing there and in the glass in front of you, maestro?

G-LO: Rain Dogs. Cause it’s raining. Be right back with a drink!

AK: I’ll be right here.

G-LO: Smokin’ Hot Ginger rides again!

Ladies and Gentlemen, say hello to Smokin’ Hot Ginger! . . One part @laphroaig #Cairdeas. . Two parts @fevertreemixers Ginger Beer. . Lots of ice. . Wedge of lime. . Cheers! . . #whisky #laphroaig #booze #gingerbeer #spicy #smoky #cocktail #drinks #refreshing #spirits #video #timelapse #mixology

A post shared by Don G-LO Corleone 🥃🍸🍻 (@boozedancing) on Apr 14, 2018 at 8:16pm PDT

AK: That sure is pretty!

G-LO: And tasty! Pairs well with Mr. Waits.

AK: Thumbing through this book is really fun. There are food recipes too. Boozy Honey Chicken sandwiches with honey and avocado slaw. Yum!

G-LO: Led Zep-Loin! Oh yeah! That sandwich sounds awesome.

AK: It’s a book that covers a lot of areas but doesn’t seem busy or over the top, or even unfocused. There’s some pretty easy home bar tips and hints in the back too. Too often you see all the fun sucked out of drinking by making it all too complicated. Stop being nerdy, people! Have fun!

G-LO: I agree. To be honest, I don’t read many drinks books. Especially the history ones. They get boring after awhile. But this book is like a great pop song. It has a hook.

AK: And it’s not dumbed down at all. It’s a conversation starter!

G-LO: And it’s not condescending either, like you.

AK: I condescend because I care. It wasn’t thrown together like those cheap coffee table books on the bargain table at Barnes & Nobles. Those things ARE the dumbing down of America.

G-LO:The sister of this dynamic duo teaches writing at St. Joe’s University in Philly. Go, Hawks! I wanna take one of her classes. Lord knows my writing could use some work!

AK: Sign up! You can be the Rodney Dangerfield of St. Joe’s U. G-LO stars in Back to School! The Triple Lindy of all Triple Lindies!

G-LO: I don’t get any respect either. I’m a Melon!

AK: This book would be great on a coffee table or on a bookshelf. It’s fun reading and a fun conversation piece.

G-LO: I’ve been carrying it around in my briefcase. Reading it on the train. Like I said, it’s just the right size!

AK: Fun idea how each album gets a “genre”, year, “when to spin”, “liner notes”, and a “before you drop the needle” note that gets a little wacky.

G-LO: Why didn’t we think of this?! And the Side A / Side B bit is priceless!

AK: It’s a book of album reviews, though they do like them all; and paired cocktail recipes. Just a neat concept. I think I was hoping for all of the songs listed per side but this is better and not so nerdy.

G-LO: For the record (pun intended), I was always a Side B kind of guy.

AK: You’re a deep cut, kind of guy. You really were made for FM radio. Which is a dying medium.

G-LO: Me and Casey Kasem.

AK: One, Casey is dead. Two, more like Jim Ladd. Casey loved Top 40 and tall blondes. And not in that order.

G-LO: This book is total hipster, but without crossing the line to douchebagism. It’s an invitation.

AK: Indeed. Not sure it would get you to become a vinylphile, but if you are one, it’s a lovely reminder why you are.

G-LO: One more album for the road. GO!

AK: First Van Halen album! Owww! Or however Diamond Dave would scream it. Now you!

G-LO: My Funny Valentine, Miles Davis in Concert.

AK: Oh, Miles.

G-LO: Ask me again tomorrow, and you’ll get a different answer. Miles and Coltrane. Sooooo good!

AK: The best thing about music and booze. Ever-changing with the mood or atmosphere.

G-LO: Absolutely! Always cracks me up when someone asks you to name a “favorite” of anything. It’s all about time and place. Speaking of time. We’re running out of it and losing readers by the second.

AK: Mix in the right booze and you have a perfect evening This is a book I’d easily give to someone as a gift.

G-LO: And then say, “Screw them! I’m keeping it for myself!”

AK: BOOM! Giving starts at home!

G-LO: The best gifts are the ones you wanna keep for yourself.

AK: Well, we have one here. Well done, Darlingtons!

G-LO: Which reminds me. I bought you a bottle of whisky.

AK: THANKS!

G-LO: Sadly, I drank it. You would have loved it!

AK: Bastard

G-LO: Yep.

_________________________________________________________________

Many thanks to Running Press for the advance copies of this book, The Darlingtons for masterminding this excellent, conversation starter of a book, and Jason Varney for creating so many beautiful images!

.@AaronMKrouse + G-LO sip, spin, and ramble on about #BoozeAndVinyl! @wTheDarlingtons @Running_Press AK: Hey, G-LO, do anything for Record Store Day this year? G-LO: Sure didn't make it to a record store.

#Andre Darlington #Book Review #Books #booze #Booze and Vinyl #Cocktail Recipes #Cocktails #Dranks #Drinking #Hipsterism #Liquor #Music #Music and Cocktail Pairing #Tenaya Darlington #The Darlingtons #Vintage #Vinyl Records

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itsworn · 7 years

Text

Dodge Demon Unboxing: A First-Hand Customer Experience

In the music world, Kenny Wayne Shepherd is known as one of the most dynamic recording and performance artists in the blues rock arena. You’ve likely heard his music (even if you can’t place the name), and you may even count yourself as a fan. What you may not know is that Shepherd is also a bona fide gearhead and a hardcore Mopar nut who spends all his free waking hours (when not performing!) working on and driving his Dodge and Plymouth machinery. We were lucky to tag along with Shepherd as he navigated the special-order procedure and took delivery of his personalized 2018 Dodge Demon. What follows is his account of that very special experience—a process that was the clever vision of Dodge’s Tim Kuniskis (previously president and CEO of the Dodge and SRT brands), and which has had the very intended effect of creating a legion of dedicated über fanatics. Down the line, we hope to bring you more from Kenny as he gears up to hit the drag strip later this year! – Johnny Hunkins

Three hundred and eighty days. That’s how long the journey was from the first viral video of the Dodge Demon to having one in my garage. It’s been a fascinating experience and the wait has been more than worth it. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know the highlights of the new Dodge Demon: 840 HP, the quickest production car ever made, 0-60 in 2.3 seconds, a quarter-mile of 9.65, and banned by the NHRA.

Over a year after jumping in line for a 2018 Dodge Demon, it arrived at Dependable Dodge on a Reliable Carrier truck. The dealership thoughtfully stored it in the showroom for two days before we could pick it up.

After watching every video Dodge spoon fed us leading up to the unveiling of the Demon at the 2017 New York International Auto Show, I became more convinced this car was for me. The day after the debut, I secured an allocation for an SRT Demon—number “18” in the sequence, and significant for denoting the 2018 model year. When order banks opened on June 21, 2017, many placed their orders at that very moment, hoping that being an early submitter would help them be one of the first to take delivery, but that’s not exactly how the process works. The build sequence considers many factors when deciding which Demons get built in what order. I don’t claim to know the secrets of how that all works out, so my resolve was to be as patient as possible and my car would get here when it gets here.

Passenger-side ac vent is serialized and matches the VIN as car number “18.” The number is significant as the model year is 2018. Once the “Demon crate” arrives, the surround will be replaced with the updated one with Kenny’s name.

Once I was 100-percent sure of the options, I formally placed the order on what would be Demon number 18:

White Knuckle paint: Some will slam me for not choosing a high-impact color for a car like this. One of my best friends was dogging me as soon as he found out I was considering it. I love a Challenger in white. It reminds me of the movie Vanishing Point. I’ve had a couple of black Challengers and the struggle to keep them clean is real. Half of my driveway is dirt and gravel, so just imagine what that’s like if you keep your car clean like I do. White just looks cleaner longer. All the available colors look great on the Demon, but my short list was White Knuckle, Octane Red, F8 Green, and B5 Blue. White won out for both looks and practicality.

Comfort Audio group ($2,495): This includes the passenger seat, adds leather instead of the base cloth material, an 18-speaker Harmon Kardon stereo system (as opposed to the standard two-speaker system), heated and cooled front seats, heated steering wheel, power tilt column, floor mats, and bright pedals.

Rear seat ($1): This is the practical thing to do since one can always remove the passenger and rear seats, but buying them after the fact would most certainly cost more than a dollar.

Demonic Red Laguna Leather interior ($295): This provides a rich two-toned red and black interior that gives the car a splash of color, which looks perfect.

Power Sunroof: Some refer to it as the “golden sunroof.” Dodge priced it at $4,995 to discourage people from buying it. All my previous Challengers had sunroofs and I used them frequently on nice days. That extra 35 pounds isn’t going to slow the car down enough for anyone to notice.

Trunk carpet ($1): This can easily be removed in a matter of moments. Why wouldn’t you get it for a buck?

Demon Storage Package: Includes a custom Demon car cover and Mopar-branded battery tender for $495.

Mopar-branded battery tender was part of the Demon Storage Package, which also included a custom Demon car cover.

The only three options I didn’t opt for were the Satin Black hood ($1,995), full graphics package ($3,495), and the engine block heater ($95). Once I placed my order, the real waiting began. I passed the next few months by joining www.hellcat.org, which has a Demon section full of other soon-to-be Demon owners sharing excitement, knowledge about the car, order details, and the constant refreshing of the Demon Concierge page to get updates on production status—which is a whole lingo unto itself. There’s even an anonymous insider who gave everyone loads more detailed information as the factory got things moving. As production slowly ramped up, we all watched a saga unfold via the forum.

Only time will tell what all these scribbles and initials mean on the Demon’s UPC-code windshield sticker, but we’re documenting this one for posterity.

There were lots of people who wanted their cars yesterday and seemed to have little patience for the process. Many compared notes as to what date and exactly what time their orders were placed to try and make sense of why someone else’s car is moving along the queue before theirs. Once the cars are built, they have to go to an up-fitter for the 18×11 wheels (with drag radials) to be installed. The wheels and tires are too big for the factory assembly line to accommodate. Also, if you choose the full graphics package (satin black hood, roof, and trunk lid) an up-fitter does that paint work as well. At some point there’s a secondary QC inspection that takes place and the car is cleared for shipment. Reliable Carriers then has to schedule an empty truck to come pick up five or six Demons at a time that are being delivered along a route that makes logistical sense.

Kenny points out this clear blue plastic protective sheet placed over the Demon’s supercharger, presumably to protect the engine while it was being installed at the factory. It was tagged with a white marker: “30 OKF.”

There are many steps in the process of making a Demon that are new to the SRT program. Tim Kuniskis (now head of Maserati and Alfa Romeo) stated that production would be a slow ramp-up, most likely to ensure they figure out the best way to get these cars built right and to a high standard. Finally, on Halloween of 2017, we caught wind that the first truckload of Demons was making its way down the road when tragedy struck. Three of the cars caught fire and were reported a total loss.

We don’t have an exact report as to the cause, but it’s been clearly stated that the cars were not the culprit. An unfortunate event? Yes, but in my opinion this only adds to the mystique and urban legend for what could be a once-in-a-lifetime vehicle. (Demons experiencing spontaneous combustion on Halloween?! You just can’t make that up.) Day after day, it was exciting watching the reports of VONs (vehicle order numbers) being turned into VINs as the cars rolled through various stages of production.

All Dodge Demons arrive at dealerships in enclosed Reliable Carrier trucks. This paper floor mat was left by the Reliable crew to safeguard the carpet while being moved.

It turns out there’s a whole new alphabet of secret code to decipher. If you want to know what’s happening to your Demon build, you can translate the order status code into real information. Here’s a list of those posted on the Hellcat.org message forum:

Demon Order Status Codes

BA new order that hasn’t been checked BB review by fleet department BD special equipment processing BE edit error BG passed edit n/a for schedule BGL edit ok, parts unavailable BX passed edit, available for schedule C sub firm, tentative schedule D firm schedule, dealer has allocation and all parts available D1 gateline schedule, scheduled to be built E frame F paint G trim I built not ok’d J built ok’d JB shipped to upfit center (for stripe) JE emission check JS shipped to storage KZ released by plant, invoiced KZL released, not shipped KZM first rail departure KZN first rail arrival KZO delayed/received KZOA plant holds KZOB zone/distribution holds KZOC carrier delays KZOD carrier holds KZOE mis-shipped vehicle KZOF show/test vehicle KZOG damaged vehicle KZOH all other reasons KZT second rail departure KZU second rail arrival KZX delivered to dealer ZA canceled

As the weeks went by, we saw production begin to ramp up, just as Tim K said it would. Once the factory really got into their groove, my car hit the queue. The condensed timeline of events for my car unfolded like this:

August 12, 2017 order submitted October 26, 2017 VIN assigned December 6, 2017 car enters the build process December 11, 2017 detailed inspection January 25, 2018 Demon arrives at the dealership via enclosed carrier January 27, 2018 I take delivery

Once the car hit the line, it didn’t take long for it to be built. Considering it had to go to the up-fitter for wheel installation, it needed to be inspected, it had been stored for shipment, and the plant was closed from December 23 to January 15 for holidays and an inventory adjustment, it was built and delivered in a reasonable amount of time, especially for the quality of the product.

A technician at Dependable Dodge in Canoga Park, CA performs the pre-delivery check while we look on. We asked the dealership to wait on this until we could be there, and they happily obliged us.

Having waited for this moment just over a year, we wanted to document every detail of the car in its as-delivered condition. I asked the dealer not to do any prep work and keep the car “as is” so we could see the little details of what a car looks like fresh off the truck. There were a number of interesting little signatures, decals, and protective plastics on various parts of the car that we documented and saved. Aware of the new secondary QC inspection process Dodge was implementing, I crawled over the car searching for a flaw and couldn’t find one. I’m impressed, and would say the hard-working people at the Brampton assembly plant should be proud of the product they’re turning out.

What will certainly be a sought-after piece years down the road is this protective yellow spoiler guard. It’s different than the Hellcat’s protective corner pieces (which are already collectibles). It’s used only during shipping, but it’s actually pretty attractive.

Ordering a Demon has been an unforgettable experience. The passion and talent that come together to make a car like this could be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Thanks to everyone at Dodge who made this car a reality for all of us enthusiasts. Now another wait begins for me: the Demon Performance Crate. It’s time to go drag racing!

Standard Demon trunk goodies include floor mats, license plate bracket (we’ll bet these never get used!), and a pair of Demon supplemental booklets.

Besides the standard stuff, Kenny got the Demon Storage Package (car cover and battery tender) which are the two white boxes. The brown box is the pedal kit, which is a customer-installed item.

The happy new owner sits behind the wheel of his new Dodge Demon for the first time. Note the “caution” hang tag warning delivery personnel of the scraping hazard from the front spoiler.

Ahh! That new-Demon interior smell will be long remembered.

The Dodge Demon pedal kit is an owner-installed item, and strangely does not come with parking brake and dead-pedal covers as similar aftermarket kits do.

Demon pre-delivery inspection at Dependable Dodge’s service department, Canoga Park, CA

Heat-shrink wrapped Dodge Demon owner’s manual supplement.

Dodge Demon number 18 awaits its new owner in Dependable Dodge’s showroom.

Hieroglyphics on the plastic sheet protecting the Demon’s supercharger read “30 OKF.”

Part of the Demon Storage Package is this boxed car cover, labeled as Mopar part number 82215727.

Also located in the trunk was the 2018 Dodge Demon Driver Supplement booklet.

Dodge Demon fender flares house extra-wide 315/40R18 NT05R Nitto Drag Radials. Kenny says those will be replaced for street driving by a set of 20-inch Widebody Hellcat wheels and tires for better tread life.

Window sticker claims 22 mpg on the highway. Who has that kind of self control? According to the graph on the window sticker, the Demon does NOT have the worst fuel economy in its class.

This box in the trunk contained the stainless steel accelerator and brake pedal covers, and was labeled with part number 05181565AB. They appear to have been sourced from Sequoia Tool in Clinton Township, MI.

This pick ticket was found in the trunk, and is a list of items to put in the Demon’s trunk prior to leaving the Brampton, Ontario assembly plant.

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