#second off…spotify I hope you die for this

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Don't Take Your Eyes Off It

Title: Don’t Take Your Eyes Off It

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Steve Rogers x Black!Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 1.5K

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day, and you have a surprise for Steve!

Warnings: Daddy kink, pet name (Sweets), praise kink (slightly), ass worship, butt plug, anal fingering, first time *romantic* anal, creampie

A/N: Based on this poll, Steve Rogers won. Submission for @the-slumberparty’s Eight Types of Love February 2024 Sleepover Challenge (Eros-sexual passion). Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @saradika

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

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His fingers glide across the skin of your shoulder blade as sunlight cascades over your beautiful brown skin while you sleep on your stomach. He marvels at how you seem to glow in the rays of the morning sun. Leaning in, he places a chaste kiss on your lips, trying his best to wake you gently.

You grumble, the weight of his kiss just enough to pull you from a deep slumber. 

“What was that, Sweets?” Steve’s sultry baritone invades your consciousness and you open your eyes.

“I said, ‘five more minutes’,” you plead, pouting up at Steve and hoping he would give you a break after seeing your tired eyes.

No such luck.

“Nice try, Sweets. You know what today is, right?” he asks, peppering kisses to the top of your bonnet-covered hair.

“It’s...Wednesday?” you guess, trying your best to get back to REM sleep.

“Yes, technically, it is Wednesday. It’s also…” he trails off, waiting for the pieces to click into place in your mind.

You lift your head, locking eyes with Steve. For three whole seconds, you just look at him with a confused expression on your face until it hits you. “It’s Valentine’s Day!” you chuckle, and playfully swat at him.

“Now, she’s cooking with gas. I thought it was gonna take you all day to figure it out,” he jokes, laughing as you roll your eyes at him.

You turn around in bed and swing your legs over the edge. Reaching up to untie your hair, your braids cascade down your back. Peeking over your shoulder, you catch Steve watching you while one of his hands runs through his golden tresses.

“Caught ya looking, Daddy,” you tease before standing and walking around the bed to his side. He reaches out to touch you, but you pull back at the last second. “Unh-uh! Not until tonight. I got something special planned for you.”

“Something special, huh? Well, I can’t wait. But I guess I will have to, won’t I?” he guesses, standing up from the bed to tower over you. He lifts his hands in surrender after you point a manicured finger at him. “Hands to myself, I promise. For now,” he flirts, walking around you to go into the bathroom to shower.

While Steve is in the shower, you mentally run down your checklist of things for tonight. Your new pink glass buttplug, check! New red lace lingerie, check! You had everything planned down to the last detail and you were very excited to see Steve’s reaction. Now, all that was left was to get everything ready while Steve was away for the day.

Steve comes back to your darkened apartment that night, surprised to see a trail of red rose petals and vanilla-scented tea lights leading him to the bedroom. He stoops down to grab the card that was left near the door.

‘Daddy, 

Come and unwrap your present.

-Sweets’

Making his way along the petaled path, he reaches your slightly ajar bedroom door. Pushing it open, he is greeted by you kneeling in the center of the bed. A red rose hairclip holds the right side of your braids back, and the red lace bodysuit you wear hugs all of your curves perfectly.

You take in the way Steve looks at you like you hung the moon. His ocean eyes darken as he takes in your scent, your favorite perfume lingering in the air. 

“Hi, Daddy. Happy Valentine’s Day,” you hum, making your way to where Steve stands at the foot of the bed. “Why don’t you join me? You can put these big, strong hands to use,” you slide your arms around his neck and instinctually, his hands go to your waist.

Leaning down to claim your lips, he doesn’t hold back teasing his tongue along the seam of your mouth. Once you let him in, he takes control of the kiss. Swallowing down your whimpers and moans, he cups the back of your head and nibbles your bottom lip.

Breaking the kiss, he laughs lowly when you try and follow his lips. “I think I was promised a gift, Sweets. Now, what might that be?” he muses, his fingertips moving along the red lace until he comes upon a pebbled nipple.

You take his hand and guide it to where the gusset of your bodysuit would be, now drenched with your slick. You nod and he explores your soft folds through the crotchless lace. He knows how to play you like a damn fiddle. Gathering your moisture and applying just the right amount of pressure to your bundle of nerves.

Within moments, he has your legs weak while he gives your clit some much-needed attention. His other hand goes to your chin so that you look up at him as he brings you over the edge. You fight to keep your eyes open as the chains of orgasm are broken, your throbbing pussy creaming his hand.

“Such a good girl for me. God, you’re perfect, Sweets,” he praises, still unaware of what you have in store for him as he takes off his tie and goes to unbutton his shirt.

“Daddy, I have a surprise for you. I’ve been working all day long on it,” you chime in, biting your lip as you cup Steve’s erection through his slacks.

“You go ahead and show me that surprise, now,” he encourages, watching intently as you turn around and present yourself to him with your ass in the air. His hand goes to your hip, slowly moving toward your ample backside. Groping your ass, he finds something he had hinted at only weeks ago. “Oh, fuck. Look at this adorable little plug. Have you been wearing this all day, Sweets?”

“Yes, Daddy. I’ve been stretched around it all day long. I wanted you to have something no one has had before. It’s all yours,” you say, wiggling your hips to show off your toy.

“You are such a good girl for wearing it all day,” he murmurs, taking the lube that was delicately placed on the bed earlier by you. Dripping the liquid between your cheeks, he spreads it generously around your plump globes. He lays a few slaps to each cheek and moves some of the lube between your cheeks to tease the toy in and out of you slightly.

“Daddy, please,” you beg, growing ever so impatient now that Steve is teasing you.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Sweets. Let’s just get this pretty plug out of here,” he purrs, pulling out the toy and watching as your hole tightens up a bit. He uses one finger to explore you, graduating to two and three fingers when you take him in so well. Soon, the wet squelch of lube as he fingers you is the loudest sound in the room, even over your moans. 

With three fingers inside you, Steve uses the other hand to unzip his pants. Pulling out his red, weeping dick, he squeezes the base and coats it in the excess lube that has accumulated. Lining up to your opening, he pushes in slowly until you engulf his tip. The hard part is over as he slides into the hilt.

He waits until you start to wriggle under his hands to begin a languid pace, slow as molasses in January. Your hand snakes down to your forgotten pussy, shiny and slick with a mixture of your arousal and lubricant. Your fingers stimulate your clit as Steve takes you apart from the inside.

You’ve never felt so fully taken before, the stretch of his massive member adding to the sacred friction. As soon as your fingers take you over the edge, you notice how intense this orgasm is. You moan into the bedsheets as your cunt shudders and your asshole clamps down around Steve.

“Fuuuuuck, good girl. That felt so fucking good, Sweets. Don’t think I can last much longer with you coming so hard on my dick like that,” he ponders aloud, quickening his pace to chase his release.

As he pounds into you from behind, he reaches around to finger your pussy while his palm rubs your sweet spot. When he can sense you getting closer and closer to the edge, he pulls his fingers from inside you and plays with your clit.

“Be my good girl and cum with me, Sweets. Fuck, I can feel it right now. You ready for it baby?” he persuades, fucking into you while you moan non-stop. 

“Yes, please. I’m ready for your cum, Daddy,” you cry out, your climax pulling you over the edge, tumbling straight into Steve’s release. You can feel every spurt of spunk painting your delicate inner walls while he throbs inside you.

Coming down, he lets his deflating length slip out and directs you to lie down before climbing on the bed next to you. Wrapping you up in his arms, he kisses your forehead and isn’t surprised when he soon hears the soft snores escaping you.

He’s more than content to wait to give you his gift. He smiles, remembering the velvet box in his suit jacket pocket in the other room. He can wait a bit longer to hear you say yes.

A/N: Alright, well, I haven’t written for Steve Rogers in over 12 years. I hope this was good. I would love to hear what y’all think. The title is taken from ‘Rocket’ by Beyoncé.

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𝓐𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷-𝓕𝔂𝓸𝓭𝓸𝓻

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: Mentions of death, cheating and murder 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1k (𝓐/𝓝: I was in the middle of working on a fic when Army Dreamers came on my Spotify and suckerpunched me with this little idea. It's more a ramble than anything sdjkfns)

Fyodor, who takes the body of the person who kills him. Who is cursed and blessed with immortality. Fyodor, who can come back over and over again. No matter what, he always returns to your side, looking just as he always did when he left you. Sometimes he comes back with a new outfit.

Other times, he comes back stained in blood, but he always comes back. And you always welcome him back with a kiss and a tight hug.

You never question him. You're just happy to have him in your arms again.

Fyodor, who, knowing about his immortality, would always deny you children. He knew how badly you wanted to start a family but he couldn’t bring new life into this world knowing he would have to sit back and watch his children die before his eyes.

Fyodor, who was heartbroken when you finally died during your first incarnation to old age. He remembers how even on the days leading up to your death, you would always comment on how you withered like a dying flower, while he stayed young and lively. You even teased him for his secrets of youth, asking playfully if he had sold his soul to the devil for his youthful look as you rasped and coughed. But to him, you never were a withering flower. You were always his beautiful garden of Eden, more vibrant and lively than you ever knew.

Fyodor who finds your second incarnation. Who courts you all over again. Who killed again and again but still returns to your side. Who never stopped loving you, even though you look nothing like your first incarnation but he knows its you by the way your eyes sparkle when you smile and the way you laugh.

He could never forget that sweet smile. It haunts his every dream. The one who takes you ballroom dancing. Who buys you the exact dress you want without ever pointing it out to him. Who styles your hair just how he knows you like it without any guidance. Who’s even more heartbroken when you pass in your late twenties to illness. You hadn’t even repeated your pleas to have children yet and he already lost you again. Fyodor who buried you with his own hands this time and stayed in the rain crying over your grave. Fyodor who seeks your third incarnation but finds you a little too late. You’ve already settled down with another man. You’re talking about starting a family, moving to the countryside to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

Fyodor who can’t let you go. Who flirts with you, swoons you off your feet and drives you to cheating on your husband. Who watches as your husband comes through the door of your beautifully decorated apartment one night and shoots you both dead when he catches you both in the act.

Fyodor who takes over his body next, fleeing the scene before the police arrive.

Fyodor, who after seeking you out time and time again, incarnation to incarnation, shattering a piece of his heart and soul over and over again, decides he can’t suffer like this anymore.

He, an immortal being, was never suppose to find love. He will be here until the end of time, while you’re destined to keep dying over and over again.  He can’t keep doing this to himself. You are his addiction, his drug and today, he’s deciding to cut off the supply. But he loves you too much to stay away from you for long. He writes you poems and books, letters that are never delivered that scream his love in it’s rawest form and leaves them hidden at your previous incarnation's favorite places, hoping and praying to God that you somehow find them. Fyodor who watches your one hundred and seventy-sixth incarnation from afar as you go about your daily life. Sees your struggles and your pains. He wants nothing more than to reach out to you, to embrace you and assure you everything is going to be okay.

But he doesn’t. Even as his heart screams at him to go and chase you. Even as he almost brings himself to tears watching you struggle. He can’t do it again. It’s too much. Too, too much… Fyodor, who several months after finding your latest incarnation, is making preparations to head to Yokohama to find the Book to rewrite his fate so he can finally be with you.

Immortality be damned. He wants to settle down with you. He wants to love you freely. To finally start a family with you and when the time comes, he wants to die alongside you. He can't do this anymore. He can't stand to watch you die over and over again and yet he can't let you go. You've woven yourself too tightly into the chords of his heart. Fyodor, who receives a knock at his apartment door in Saint Petersburg as he's finalizing his plans. Who tugs on his ushanka and cloak, murmuring a quiet “One moment please.”

Fyodor who opens the door to see your current incarnation standing there. Who freezes in place, cold eyes going wide in surprise as his hollow heart skips a beat, just as it did when he met your very first incarnation all those generations ago.

You, with a kind, warm smile on your face, one of Fyodor’s poems in one hand and a jar of small flowers in the other. The same ones he had left at your very first grave just yesterday with that same small cluster of primroses in a jar. Fyodor who feels his heart falling for you all over again as you praise his beautiful, heartfelt writing and expresses how grateful you are to the person who directed you to his apartment after you asked around about the name left on the poem.

Fyodor, who can't resist inviting you in for tea.

Fyodor who knows he can’t stop loving you. Who knows no matter how many times you die, he will always seek you out. You are, after all, his weakness. His eternal lover. His addiction. 

Dividers: @/saradika 𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 (first time trying this so I hope it works! (๏д๏) ) @tecchoussuperlady @hearts4heidi @lovestruckbook @wixxlemuff @twinkaesop @ladylntrovert @yonseibananamilk @honeyangelsblog

[milliesfishes]

𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓹𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓼˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

[fem reader] contains: arranged marriage, nonconsensual touch, reader has a southern accent, implied sexual content. pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: stuck in an arranged betrothal, you think you'll forever be trapped until you meet billy and your world is flipped upside down author’s note: welcome to part one of Serendipitous! there will be three chapters if I'm planning correctly. I will be adding to the playlist and Pinterest boards as I release chapters! Please enjoy! Series Pinterest Board Series Spotify Playlist

'Old habits die hard' is what you always said when it came to tradition. It was easier said when it wasn't being forced on you.

Being the oldest daughter of a very well-to-do family, you had always known in the back of your mind that you would have to marry, but you hadn't let that thought go any further than just that-a thought.

Your childhood was free and long and lovely, spent running wild in the countryside with all the wonderful things in the world. There were expectations of course; mandatory lessons were attended by you for the benefit of your future. But you never let it sway you, so childishly single minded, focused on the present.

Truthfully you dreamt of romance, of a love so powerful it would sweep you off your feet. In your storybooks love always seemed to be the goal, woman's purpose. You were privy to it, welcoming even, when you entered Atlanta society at the age of sixteen. Maybe here you would start living. Here you could find what you had daydreamed about for most of your life.

Unfortunately, the only thing you were met with was ambiguity. The men at the parties you attended were hardly what you'd imagined. Most were several years older than you, and all of them were disappointing, talking with cigars half in their mouths and presuming you didn't know anything about anything.

Thinking maybe your expectations had been too high, you gathered yourself together for the next season, hoping this crop would be more promising than the last. Entering the first event of the month with an open mind, you tried again.

Nothing.

Soon you had realized the banality of it all. Every party was the last one's twin, with the same greetings, the same conversation, the same dances and the same men, just with different names and faces.

By your third season you were exhausted. Through the mirror you watched the sparkle in your eyes dim, noticed how every soulless event sucked the life out of that sweet girl from the country. You hardly recognized her anymore.

No longer did you expect anything out of the things you were now practically dragged to by your mother. You were still approached by so called gentlemen, yes, but while they prattled on about whatever it is they felt you needed to hear from their mouths you slipped into daydreams. Except this time, they were not about romance. They were about running away.

You'd resigned yourself to the fact that nothing was going to happen. Even though you quite literally had no interest in any of the men you'd come across, you couldn't help but feel guilty. Was there something wrong with you? Every other girl seemed to find their match just fine. Indeed, even your younger sister was practically engaged to a gentleman from the East.

Of course, your parents had grown rather frustrated with your lack of action, and you shared their emotions. Why couldn't you just settle? Every time you tried, indulged someone with a dance and tried to imagine marrying them, you could feel a headache pounding at your skull. No, it was impossible.

Remaining in this mindset, you'd been rather surprised to find yourself pulled out for half a second when one Mr. Henry Merritt approached you at one of the last parties of the season, asking for a dance.

Out of politeness (and your mother poking her fan into your back) you obliged, letting him lead you to the floor. You were expecting, well, what you'd been forced to endure throughout the last three years when it came to conversation.

It surprised you when it wasn't.

Mr. Merritt was the first man you'd ever met who didn't talk to you like a child, who actually allowed you to share your thoughts as well instead of merely agreeing with his own. He even laughed when you made a shy comment about one of the other partygoers who was far too drunk not to notice anymore.

"You're far more vivacious than anyone gives you credit for," Mr. Merritt said as he spun you one more time, signaling the end of the dance. He held your hand to his lips once before asking, "May I call on you tomorrow?"

Feeling a little twinge of excitement at the prospect, you nodded eagerly, almost rooted to your spot after he departed.

Hope lit your mind again. All the way home and all through preparing for the next day, you rekindled your fire of romance. Maybe all you'd needed was the right person, and it was all possible.

Mr. Merritt had entered your home and greeted you politely. He sat in the drawing room next to you, and you just talked for a while, about anything. The longer you spent with him, the more you could see yourself making a life with him. There wasn't that mind-numbing, heart fluttering, weak at the knees feeling when you looked at him, but you were long past that, forced to admit that was a fantasy. Butterflies were a made-up thing.

As you were talking about a book you'd just finished, you noticed him looking at your lips. You felt a jolt of anxiety. This was what you'd heard girls your age talk about in the ladies' room, something that happened on maybe the second or third meeting. You almost felt proud of yourself that you'd charmed it into occurring on your first.

Mr. Merritt moved closer, and you did too, and before you knew it your lips were touching, moving hesitantly.

Was this what kissing was? It almost felt like an obligation. There wasn't anything exciting about it, just skin on skin. You decided maybe the other girls had overexaggerated.

He put his hand on your waist, and you hardly noticed, just waiting for him to stop. There wasn't anything to it, and you didn't feel the need to continue, but you didn't know how to break away. You moved your hands to his shoulders stiffly, but he didn't seem to mind. Would this have to happen every time you saw him now? Maybe it's not so bad-

Then you felt his hand on your breast.

Alarm bells rang in your head, and you pulled back, pushing him away. Mr. Merritt frowned, reaching for you again, his hand brushing the underside of it. "Come now, dearest, won't you-"

"No," you whispered, moving away from him. You didn't want him touching you ever again. It didn't feel good at all.

When you stood up, he snatched your arm, pulling you back down. His eyes were no longer kind, and you recoiled as if he'd hit you. "Do you know what people are saying about you?" he hissed, his fingers digging into your skin. "A girl who's been out for three years and never married? It's unthinkable. I'm your only option if you don't want to be ruined, so you'd best let me-"

You yanked your arm away from him and fled, running up the stairs to your room and shutting the door firmly behind you. Your breathing was fast, your heart pounding. Was that supposed to happen? Was that some awful secret you should have been warned about before? It was horrible. If that was what marriage was you certainly didn't want any part of it.

Keeping to your room for the rest of the day, you hugged your knees to your chest and tried to imagine your future. Everyone made being an old maid out to be an awful fate but now in comparison to marriage it sounded delightful.

That was what you'd do, you decided. You'd live the rest of your days out as a single lady or marry someone too old to last very long. Then you'd be free. No longer was love your driving force, but liberty. Liberty from the suffocating wiles of high society.

Mercifully, nobody disturbed your peace until the next day, when your father summoned you to his study. Assuming it was so you could tell him about your caller, you went with plans to tell him that Mr. Henry Merritt was not the one for you, and you'd try again next season (even though you wouldn't).

"...just don't think he's who I'd like to marry," you concluded, your hands clasped behind your back.

Your father looked at you coldly, which surprised you. You didn't think you'd said anything wrong. He stood, stacking a pile of papers in front of him neatly. "I called you in today to tell you you're to marry Mr. Merritt."

Instantly your mouth went dry and your eyes widened. "What?"

"As soon as possible," your father said, one of his hands resting on the ornate desk as he looked at you.

"But...but..." you scrambled to think of something, nearly tearing up at the idea.

"Mr. Merritt has informed me that he and you took certain..." your father shifted on his feet. "Liberties."

The word that had once been your dream was now your cage. How ironic. You shook your head, trying to protest. "Daddy...please, I-"

"If he hadn't asked for your hand, I would have been forced to find someone anyways," your father interrupted sternly, his eyes harsh. "Foolishly I let you have a part in the decision of marriage but clearly that was not the best course of action. I should have known someone as flighty as you wouldn't be able to act logically."

His words stung, and you felt tears welling up, too upset to care if one slipped out. You thought of Mr. Merritt's hand on your breast in the drawing room, how his touch had made your skin crawl and your body tense, how you'd wanted to tear off the clothes you'd been wearing and burn them. "Please don't make me do this."

"You will," your father sat down as if he hadn't just shattered everything you'd ever wanted. "And we'll be relocating in three days."

"Relocating?" you asked quietly, your brow furrowing delicately.

"Mr. Merritt has invested in several properties in New Mexico," your father began writing something, the dark of the ink flourishing across his page. "He would like to leave for there as soon as possible."

"You're sending me there with him? Alone?" you couldn't hold back the desperation in your voice.

He looked up at you, and you thought you saw a slight tinge of sympathy. "No. I've been speaking with him about his investments, and they sound very lucrative. With your sister married and your brother off in New York, your mother and I decided we'd like to go out west too. A nice change from Atlanta." He gave you a pointed look. "A nice change for you."

The way it sounded, they were making sure you weren't going to run away from Mr. Merritt, supervising you right down the aisle. But at least you wouldn't be alone with him. Not yet. "Yes, Daddy."

Your father nodded. "Good. You'd best start packing."

That was your signal to leave and you did, feeling nearly lightheaded. A betrothal and change of house. It was maddening.

Packing messily in a feverish daze, you tried to give yourself hope. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe in this change of scenery things would look better. You'd grown up in the country after all and going back to your roots sounded perfect. Perfect for a fresh start.

Still, the image of you in a white dress standing next to Mr. Henry Merritt haunted your dreams that night and burnt into your eyes for all of the next day.

You liked New Mexico, you decided.

The open air space of it was a stark contrast to the crowded city of Atlanta, and you reveled in it. This was where you truly belonged.

Here, you were free to explore and enjoy nature as it was. Off came your large petticoats and hats. You were more than content to wear your simpler (prettier in your opinion) dresses and wander with your hair loose and your eyes bright.

Your fiancé objected to your activities, but he wasn't married to you yet, so you ignored him for the most part. It was easy to do so since he was busy with his new properties.

One thing you rediscovered was horseback riding, and it quickly became a passion. You'd been fond of it as a child and now you were so happy to have it back in your life. Hours now were spent exploring the open plains of your new home. You found little spots that became more than special to you, refuges from home.

Your mother was pressuring you about the wedding, even though it wasn't for another year. She had a boatload of advice for you that had you practicing endurance.

Mr. Merritt, or Henry as he insisted you call him, called on you rather often much to your discomfort. It was especially hard when he kissed you, which hadn't gotten any better since the first time. The memory of his hand where you didn't want it haunted you, though he didn't try it again. You were always scared he would.

As long as you had your rides, you were content. Because you weren't with him more than you weren't.

He requested your presence for a party one of his colleagues was throwing. You'd balked a little at that, but you knew you didn't have a choice. So, to prepare, you took a day for yourself, spending it on your horse. It was scary- the thought of going to another high society event that was sure to be just like the ones back in Atlanta.

But you did your best to doll yourself up, putting on a pretty blue corseted dress. It wasn't too fancy, but it'd definitely pass. Henry told you how pretty you looked, and you gave him a tight smile.

The second you got to the party you wanted to leave. You clung to Henry's arm as he talked to his acquaintances. Even though you were afraid of him, he was your safest option.

As he drank more alcohol, Henry became looser, touchier. You hated it, how now that you were attached to him, he felt like he had free will to touch you where he wanted.

When you tried to grab a drink to take the edge off, he took it from you, lifting it to his own lips. "She's trying something new," he laughed to his friends, and you felt your cheeks flush.

Henry pinched your cheek, kissing it once, leaving the stench of a drink behind. "She's pretty. Real pretty, huh?"

You felt your breaths grow quicker as his friends agreed. "Lookit that body," one of the other men slurred. "'S tight ain't it?"

Your mouth nearly fell open at how vulgar they were being in public. The awful feeling in you grew when your fiancé didn't defend you, merely laughing and moving his hand down to your bottom.

That was the last straw. You stepped away gracefully, chest heaving as you pushed through the crowd, your vision blurring. This new town was supposed to be something new, different from Atlanta. But no, here you were back in the same old habits, the monotonous, mundane place you'd dreamt of leaving. Only it was worse this time because of the man you were forced to stand beside.

Figuring some fresh air would do you good, you stepped outside, shutting the door behind you and leaning against it, letting the cool breeze of the night wash over you. You closed your eyes, tilting your head back against the wooden surface.

Why did this have to happen? When did your life turn into someone else's, a different person's dream? You had tried to be positive, tried to be accommodating to what everyone else wanted, but now you couldn't stand it. It was exhausting, terrifying to know that you were going to be bound to an awful man for the rest of your life just because you hadn't wanted to settle.

Bringing a hand to your face, you took in a deep breath, trying to calm down. It's okay. It's okay. You can be okay-

"You alright?"

Your eyes flew open, and you looked around for the source of the voice. A tall man with dark hair stood in front of you, a few feet away. He looked concerned. "Noticed ya come out here in a rush."

For a moment you were speechless. You'd seen men before, but one look at him suggested you'd never seen men.

He towered over you, and the hat on his head shaded his eyes but you could still see the bright blue of them, and it made you weak at the knees. His shirt was blue, and he wore suspenders over them. There was a gun belt slung around his waist, and something about the look of it had your heart fluttering.

Butterflies.

You cleared your throat, smoothing your hair and managing to meet his eyes. "Yes. Yes, I'm okay."

"Ya sure? Ya look a little..." his eyes slowly wandered over you, and it made you shiver. "...a little spooked."

You felt yourself soften. Even him simply seeing you had you melting. "It's nothing. I just needed a moment."

"Ah, I get that," the man said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall. "These..." he gestured toward inside. "...can be kinda suffocating."

"Yeah," you breathed, grateful someone else could see it. "It's...I've never been entirely comfortable with them."

He gave you a jaunty half smile that warmed you from the inside out. "You'n me got that in common." He tilted his hat up, presumably so he could see you better in the dark. "Ain't never seen ya before, pretty. Ya new 'round here?"

Your heart stuttered again when he called you pretty, and you nodded, feeling like you were in a daze. "I am. I've been here for about a month."

"Where from?" he folded his arms, tilting his head interestedly.

"Atlanta," you smiled a little bit.

"Ah, I can hear the accent now," he smiled, which in turn made your own grow larger. "Why'd ya move all the way to this little corner?"

"I'm..." you didn't want to tell him that you were engaged for some reason. "My fi- father moved his business out here."

"And how're ya findin' it so far?" he questioned, lowering his chin to better look you in the eye.

That was the first time since you'd come out here that anyone had asked you how you felt. It surprised you so much that you paused before you answered. "I like it. A lot."

You hesitated before you continued, unsure if he cared, but something about the look in his eyes made you sure he'd listen to anything you had to say. So, you did something you wouldn't have done with anyone else. You said more. "I grew up in the country in Georgia, and it's been lovely to go back to my roots, so to speak."

This seemed to please him for some reason. He moved a little closer, and you found you didn't mind at all. "The country, huh?"

"Barefoot on horseback," your accent poked through there and it caused his grin to stretch.

"Well ain't you just a southern sweetheart?" he shifted on his feet. "Sweeter 'n sugar."

"How do you know I'm sweet? You just met me," you couldn't help but tease. "I don't even know your name."

The man held out his hand for a shake. "I'm Billy. Nice to meetcha." He gave you a nod, accompanied by a smile that did more for you than another man's touches ever had.

You told him your name, giving him a mock curtsy that made him chuckle, taking his hand to shake. It was big and warm, and it nearly enveloped yours.

He repeated your name as you shook his hand, and the way it sounded in his mouth...you'd never loved your name so much before. "Welcome to Lincoln County."

"Thank you kindly," you giggled, feeling so lighthearted, more so than you remembered recently. "It's been a pleasure."

Billy lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it gallantly, like a knight. "The pleasure's entirely ours to have a beautiful gal settle 'round these parts."

When he called you beautiful, you felt the butterflies again. How you felt around him...it was like a thunderbolt. But you liked it. You realized right then that you hadn't thought of Henry once the entire time you'd been talking to Billy. Now that your fiancé was on the brain, though, you looked back at the house, brow furrowing as you became paranoid he'd come after you.

Billy noticed this and squeezed your hand. "Hey. Whatever's in there that bothered ya...it ain't worth it."

He was very close now. So close that you could see the details of him. His dark eyelashes. The way his hair curled around his ears. Billy lifted a hand, searching your eyes for permission. You gave a slight nod, and he settled it on your cheek, sliding back slightly in your hair. Oh, it was so warm. His thumb stroked your face slightly.

"Don't let 'em getcha down, sunshine," he whispered.

Your heart leapt into your throat. His lips were so close to yours. He was so handsome and caring and-

In a moment of impulse, you bridged the gap and pressed your lips to his, kissing him softly. Billy returned the gesture immediately, his lips rough and hungry. His hand found your waist, and you gasped, a little sound, into his mouth.

Billy dragged his hand through your hair, his movements becoming slower in a way that drove you crazy. His hand gripped your waist, kneading slightly. His lips covered your briefly before puckering slightly again, and he nudged his nose against your skin, biting your lower lip gently.

This was kissing? Your mind hardly had time to wander with what he was doing to you, but you had a brief thought. This is what you'd imagined.

He pressed you against the wall, the brim of his hat slipping up your forehead, the gesture lifting it slightly off his head. Both his hands were at your waist now, thumbs sliding up and down as his lips slotted against yours. One of his knees bent forward, wedging between yours. The action emitted a breathy sigh from you and he grinned against you.

"Like that?" he muttered, his lips still smushed against yours. You nodded, your hands sliding up to grasp his suspenders, pulling him forward so your chests were touching. It felt so good, he felt so good. Oh, you'd never wanted someone like this. And the way he was touching you...you were so starved for affection.

Billy parted his lips from yours and you chased them, not wanting to stop. He squeezed your waist with both hands, his forehead pressed to yours. You reached up and knocked his hat up so it wasn't poking you anymore. He grinned, his nose touching yours again. "Ya doin' okay?"

Nodding, you touched your lips to his briefly, looking up at him through your lashes. "Billy...I..." There was an ocean of feeling crashing inside you, and now you were purely acting on desire. "I need you."

He nodded, pressing his firm thigh up in between your legs and you whimpered, just enough to let him know. "I can feel it, sweetheart."

"Do you live far from here?" you asked softly.

Billy shook his head, holding your waist just by the fingertips and rubbing up and down. "No. Not far."

You reached up and tugged on his shirt collar, lips slightly parted as you looked into his eyes. "Would you...?

A little grin turned the corners of his lips upwards. "You gotta use your words, sweet. Tell me whatcha want."

Leaning your head back, you breathed in once, eyes falling to his lips. "Billy..." you kissed him once, then pressed your lips to his cheek for a long moment. "Make me feel good. Please."

Now he was really grinning. Billy's hand dropped to yours and he clasped your fingers, lifting it to his lips again, not breaking eye contact. Only this time, you saw something different. That pure, primal desire reflected in his irises.

You had one thought of Henry, but it was fleeting. How could you think of him when you had Billy holding your hand and looking at you the way he was?

As Billy led you through the streets, you felt giddy. He wanted this just as much as you did, you could tell. All the way there he talked to you, asking you about what you liked, and your family and your life in Atlanta. He was thrilled to discover you liked riding too, and he said he'd love it if you showed him the spots you'd discovered.

Once you got to where he was staying and through the door, you felt the tendrils of want gripping your chest again. He unlocked the door and held it open for you, letting you enter first.

You entered, looking around at the little space. It was neat, well kept, but it was clear he lived there. There was a belt on the bed, and what looked like letters on the bedside table. Once the door was shut you turned around to face Billy again. He pocketed the key and took his hat off. "It's-"

He was cut off by you pushing him against the door, standing on tiptoes to move your lips against his. He let out a surprised "Mmph," but responded in kind, lifting his hand to your chin and tilting it up. Billy trailed his fingers down your jaw and then his other hand found your cheekbone.

The feeling of his nose squishing against your cheek was somehow erotic to you. His lips didn't stop at your mouth this time; they found your jaw, your chin, your neck. His lips trailed down your neck, and your fingers tangled in his hair, something you hadn't been able to do earlier since his hat had been on.

Billy's hands found your thighs, then your bottom, squeezing it gently with both hands. It was odd how Henry had done nearly the same thing earlier and it'd nearly broken you. But now Billy was doing it and it spurred you on, making you tug at his hair, in turn making him let out a strangled groan.

He grabbed your waist, lifting you like you weighed nothing and setting you on the dresser. Billy pushed your skirt up so it was bunched around your thighs and then gripped your hips, tugging you forward so you were pressed right against him, your legs wrapped around you. You kicked your shoes off and hooked your knees over his hips, ankles crossing over his backside. His lips claimed yours again, but he was slightly off, a messy top lip kiss the result of it.

You squeezed your legs around him. It was evident how badly he wanted you; you could feel it through his pants. His gun belt was pressing against you, and it made you whimper, your hand coming to the handkerchief around his neck and pulling.

"Billy..." you mumbled through his kisses. "I need you...need you bad..."

He pulled back, finding your neck and nipping at it, sucking a bold kiss into your skin. Then he looked up, his hands coming to your hair and smoothing it, tucking it behind your ears. "As fun as it'd be to do it right here-" he paused, looking down at the state of you and smiling. "-I think my bed might be more comfortable, sunshine."

That name. You would've done anything he wanted if he called you that after asking. So, you nodded and he kissed you again before sweeping you off the dresser and laying you on his bed.

You sat up, tugging on his handkerchief and undoing it, tossing it to the side. Sliding his suspenders off, you leaned in and kissed him again, fingers nimbly pulling at his buttons and effectively opening his shirt. He removed it immediately and threw it to the side.

Realizing it was your turn, you reached behind you and tried to undo the laces of your corset. Seeing you wouldn't get very far, Billy chuckled and turned you around, his long fingers starting to make work of unknotting it. Not to keep you waiting, he kissed the back of your neck as he did, then your shoulder when you managed to work your sleeve down.

Together, you were able to slide it off your body, leaving you bare chested, with only a pair of bloomers and stockings covering you now. Billy turned you so he could see, and you thought you heard his breath catch.

"Beautiful," he mumbled, getting to his knees in front of you. "Look atcha. Ya'd think an angel fell into my arms."

As he spoke, his fingers hooked on the edge of your left stocking, peeling it down your leg and doing the same with the other. The sight of him, shirtless and undressing you may have been the most erotic thing you'd ever seen.

Billy reached up and kissed your collarbone, the motion feather light. His lips messily made their way down your chest, nosing against the spot between your breasts. He kissed your tummy gently, then your belly button, resting his chin there and looking up at you. His fingers dipped under the edge of your bloomers, and you saw the question in his eyes.

You nodded, and he kissed your tummy again, sliding your last garment down your legs and off your body.

Once you were completely bare, you scooted back on the bed, your knees bending to cover yourself. He smiled, but didn't question it, instead crawling over you to kiss you soothingly. "Ain't never seen a gal so pretty," he said against your lips. "Look atcha...all stretched out 'n bare for me..."

You reached for the button of his pants, tugging on it. He chuckled lightly, thumbing at your cheek. "Words, honey, 'member?"

"Won't you take them off?" you pleaded, looking up at him needily.

He smiled, standing up and uncovering your body. You reached for the blanket covering the bed, pulling half of it over your torso. Billy undid his belt and tossed it on the floor. You heard his gun clatter, but he didn't stop to do anything about it. In practically no time, he was as bare as you were, and you couldn't stop staring at him.

Billy smirked sweetly when he realized your eyes had caught between his legs. You'd never seen a man fully nude before, not a real one anyways. The statues in the pictures you'd seen in books about Europe hadn't been exactly educating.

You knew what sex was. Young ladies of society weren't supposed to know exactly, but awhile back, when you were in the ladies' room with a group of friends, you'd been passed a book that had been going around secretly. When you opened it, there'd been pictures. And detailed explanations.

But nothing could have prepared you for the real thing. For really seeing a man's body, and one that clearly wanted you, nonetheless. You looked away shyly, clutching the blanket around your chest.

Billy climbed on top of you, nudging your legs apart and settling between them. You were determinedly not looking there, and he noticed, kissing your nose.

"You can look," he smiled, nudging your nose. "Look all ya want. 'S all yours tonight."

Shyly, you did, your cheeks turning rosy as you did. He pressed his cheek against yours, kissing you there. "Ya ever done this before?"

Your cheeks flushed even more as you shook your head. Billy nodded, pulling back and kissing you softly, a gentle soothing motion. "'S okay. 'nd ya want to?"

When he got another nod, he kissed your brow, then your nose again. "Mkay. We can take it slow. Wanna make it good for ya."

He was being sweet, and you appreciated it. But that didn't mean you weren't still nervous. You looked back down between you again, taking in a deep breath.

Billy saw how flustered you were, and he ran his hand up and down the curve of your hip. "You want to touch?"

You looked up at him with wide eyes, looking at your hand, then back at it.

He smiled. "You can touch. It's okay." Billy took your hand in his and guided it south, your heart fluttering when you reached it.

The next little bit was euphoria. It was unlike anything you'd done before; unlike any feeling you'd had before. The way he kissed and caressed, reached and reassured...after it was done the only thing you knew was that you wanted it again. And again.

Billy sat up and moved you to sit on his lap once it was over, skin against skin. You buried your face in his neck, closing your eyes. He rubbed your back, his fingers smoothing over your spine.

"How was it?" he mumbled, kissing your shoulder.

"Felt good," you whispered, sleepily lifting your head to look at him. You were telling the truth. It'd been wonderful. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined you could feel that way. And as of late, you'd never imagined someone like him being the cause of it.

But he was here, and you were in his lap, exhausted and blissful from it.

Billy gently rolled you over to lie flat on the bed, and he settled in a similar position, holding his arm out so you could rest against his chest. He was so warm, his body acting as a pillow for you. And he didn't seem to mind at all.

Stroking your hair, he whispered how well you'd done for him, how pretty you'd looked. The praise made you smile, and you drifted off to sleep like that; with your bare breasts pressed against his equally naked side, cozy as could be.

It wasn't until the next morning that you remembered your fiance.

Waking up next to Billy had you smiling sleepily, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He leaned on his side, rubbing your arm absentmindedly. "Mornin' sunshine."

You lazily pressed a kiss to his mouth, letting his stubble scratch your chin. Oh well, you figured you had all sorts of marks from that and his kisses all over your body after last night. Hopefully you'd be able to cover them up before Henry saw.

Henry.

For the first time in hours, you remembered him and the thought made you bolt up, eyes wide as you struggled to collect your clothes. Billy sat up, looking both amused and confused at your hurry. "What's the rush, sweetheart? Got somewhere to be?"

"I shoulda gone home last night," you managed, yanking your stockings and bloomers on, then stepping into your dress and trying to retie the back.

Billy chuckled and stood, nudging your hands away and lacing your dress himself. The action made your heart flutter. That was all it seemed to do around him. Butterflies.

He reached around and kissed your cheek when he was done, smoothing your hair. "I'm glad ya did though. Ain't often I get a pretty girl in my bed all night."

You turned around to look at him. He was still completely nude. "It's not?"

Billy looked down at you with a sort of intensity in his eyes that parted your lips slightly. He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "It's not."

You let yourself look at him for a few more seconds before tearing your eyes away, looking down and smoothing your dress, feeling flustered. Reaching down, you grabbed your shoes and slipped them on hurriedly. "I'd better get back...but..." you stumbled as you tried to get your second heel on. "Thank you for...for the night and-" you weren't sure what to say next.

Luckily, Billy paid that no mind and he sat back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over his lap and leaning back on his hands. "Gonna give me a kiss before ya go?"

Smiling exasperatedly, you gave in and went to him, pressing your lips to his once before rushing out the door. "Goodbye Billy!"

"I'll be in touch sunshine," he called as you left.

You shut the door and leaned against it, sighing as the memories of last night played in your head. You'd slept with him.

A good girl from Atlanta wouldn't do that. Hell, you from a year ago wouldn't do that.

This wasn't Atlanta though. And you were a different person than you were a year ago. One look at a handsome cowboy from Lincoln County and you'd fallen between his sheets. But it'd felt good. And even though you'd technically cheated on your fiancé...you felt no remorse.

And besides, this was different than a one-night stand. Billy had asked you questions, seemed genuinely interested in you and your life. He'd cared about you. That was a rarity in your life: being truly cared for.

Billy made you feel something you'd never felt for a man before. In the merry-go-round of suitors you'd entertained, not one had caused those...those...those butterflies.

As you made the journey back home, it was all you could think about. The cowboy with the blue eyes who'd lit the sparkle back in yours.

Next part

[bangtanintotheroom]

Model Behavior (M)

Still hooking over Still hooking over and die

• Pairing: Taehyung x Assistant!(F)Reader

• Genre: Idol!AU, Smut

• Rating: 18+

• Words: 3,181

• Summary: Helping with photoshoots brought you stress, excitement and a sense of validation. Today, you experience a new and unexpected emotion, thanks to the man at the center of it all.

• Warnings/themes: the Elle Korea photoshoot 😵‍💫, innocent touching (at first), flirting, eye contact, Tae in the open denim jacket ⚰️, making out, oral (m. receiving), a smidge of soft dom!Tae, Y/N using her teeth 🥴, restraining (with hands), cowgirl, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (a swift talk about BC and STDs is had!)

• Song Inspo: Quick Musical Doodles - Two Feet (Spotify | Soundcloud)

• Notes: When I tell y’all I am TIRED of this man wrecking me 🔪🔪🔪 I didn’t expect all of this from the Elle shoot! It got to me so bad that I started writing the beginning of this in the group chat… 🫣 Thank you to @minisugakoobies @sugalaritae @minttangerines for taking the ride to delulu land with me 💕💕💕 And thanks to @luaspersona for the helpful beta! 😚

• Taglist: @jimilter @joontied @jinsquishes @swweetnightt @minisugakoobies @minttangerines @sugalaritae @crisle19 @codeinebelle @ssaboala @kookprada @saweetspoiled @effielumiere @m1sss1mp

You're an assistant on the set of Elle Korea.

You've always been professional, especially since your position involved sprucing up the model at the time. From damn-near naked to partially covered, the human body never fazed you too much.

Until the day Kim Taehyung stepped into the room.

Your eyes were wandering.

Your responses were delayed.

Every time your fingers brushed against his sun-kissed skin, a spark began and traveled to the pit of your belly. And it didn't help that he had a tendency to look you dead in your eyes whenever you were in front of him.

His dark gaze penetrated you every single time.

But you managed to truck on and the rest of the shoot goes smoothly. Well, aside from the one time you almost missed your cue from the director, thanks to wishing you were the flower sticking out of Taehyung’s waistband.

Just as you were packing your bag, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You thought it was your boss and prayed that they didn't notice your slacking today; you had a cruise to go on next month. Opening your mouth with an apology ready, you spun around, only for it to evaporate.

For it was your distraction standing there.

"Hey. Y/N, right?"

Wait, he actually remembered your name? You were so used to 'the helper' or 'that girl' or 'you there' that the courtesy surprised you.

"Yes...Taehyung, right?"

A smile that lifted his cheeks came over his handsome face.

"That's me. Thank you for your help today, you work quick."

No Y/N, don't shuffle your feet like you're some shy schoolgirl.

Oops. Too late.

"Oh, thanks, but it's kind of what I have to do. If I was slow, I definitely wouldn't be here, haha."

You hoped you didn't sound too self-deprecating there, but it seemed to be okay as Taehyung chuckled.

"You have a point there."

Thinking that he was just coming by to pay his gratitude before moving onto whatever else million-dollar celebrities do, you were caught off-guard when he remained steady. For a few seconds, nothing was said as he continued looking you dead in your eyes.

Fuck, he needed to stop with that. Did he know what kind of power his deep brown orbs had?

"Y/N, listen. I need a bit of a favor before I leave for the day."

You blinked.

"You do? What is it?"

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his tight slacks, making the front of his open denim jacket part further, revealing more of that golden skin you kept eyeing up.

"I really liked these outfits. I wanted to see if you could give me the details on them so I could pass them along to my stylist."

Oh? You could do that. Anything to be around this gorgeous man longer.

"Of course! Just follow me to the fitting area, the bags have all the details."

Taehyung directed a box-like smile at you, nodding. You turned and motioned him to follow you down the hall and past people scurrying by with coffee trays and overflowing binders. Reaching your destination, you walked into the room with him, hearing the door shut behind as you made a beeline for the clothing rack along one of the walls.

You studied the cardstock hanging off of the first garment bag before speaking, "Okay, it looks like the red leather jacket you had was Valentino from the Fall/Winter 2023 collec—"

"Y/N."

You were interrupted by a baritone in close distance to your ear, turning your head to jump at how close Taehyung was standing next to you now.

"Y-Yes?"

His full lips curled into a crooked grin.

"I knew what collection that was from before I even got here."

Huh?

"You did?"

"Mhm."

A hand came up to hold yours, removing it from the paper.

That spark from earlier? Yeah, no, that was nothing, because his long and callused fingers against your smaller and somewhat dry ones lit a damn match inside you. And he only made the fire grow with the way his eyes lidded, looking so close to one of the shots that was taken earlier.

"Just wanted to get you alone."

Oh shit.

The air shifted thanks to his confession. The longer your gazes held, the more you forgot that you were at work.

You definitely shouldn't be alone in a dressing room with a famous idol. You definitely shouldn't be forgetting that anyone could bust in at any moment. You definitely should be reminding yourself about that cruise you still had to pay off. You needed this damn job and—

"Y/N."

A shiver ran through you. Damn, his voice.

"Don't think I didn't notice how you were looking at me the whole time."

Oops.

"I-I'm sorry, Taehyung, I shouldn't have been—"

Whatever else you wanted to say was halted when he pressed one of those appendages to your lips.

"Why are you sorry? You think I made you bring me back here for an apology?"

All you could do was stammer, looking undeniably stupid in front of someone who you deemed untouchable. Realizing you were at a loss for words, Taehyung took the reins and moved his finger before leaning down. You felt his wispy bangs brush against your forehead, eyes still on his smoldering gaze.

"If you're not averse to overtime, I'd like to see what's been running through this pretty head of yours."

Nope. This had to be a dream. Or a setup. Maybe that prick Kwan was trying to get you fired so he could get your position.

But...you didn't want to say no.

Licking your lips, you finally found your voice again.

"I...I don't want to get in trouble."

The idol didn't seem fazed, shoulders shrugging as he laid his hands on your hips.

"What happens in this room, stays in this room."

Ah. Well, that was what you would definitely consider a green light.

So you gave your own answer by grabbing the lapels of his jacket, tugging him in for a heated kiss. The next few moments were a blur.

There were hands roaming. His over your comfortable clothes that were starting to feel restrictive over time. Yours going straight for the warm, bare skin underneath the denim, doing your absolute best to remember every bump and dip. How many people would get to say they got to touch Kim Taehyung like this?

At some point, his back was pressed into the wall next to the rack, lips still ravaging your own. Your fingers went on autopilot for his belt, but as soon as you brushed the expensive leather, Taehyung broke the kiss.

"Hold on."

Uh oh. Did he change his mind?

You tried to stave off the disappointment coming on.

"What's wrong?"

He took your hands and pulled them away, but he never let go.

"I know how well these hands of yours work, baby—"

The smirk he gave you should have been illegal in over seventy countries.

"But I wonder if your mouth is just as talented."

Oh.

He had to have felt the way you trembled in his grasp. He had to.

"I mean...I've never had any complaints before."

Taehyung's eyes squinted at your sudden surge of confidence.

"Then don't be greedy. Sharing is caring."

Barely biting back a grin, you waited until he let you go before sinking down to your knees, coming face to face with a tent in his costly slacks. You began reaching for his belt again, only to feel a light swat to your hands. You gaped up at him in shock, only to quiver at the heat directed on you.

"I didn't say you could use your hands, did I?"

What had you gotten yourself into and how could you do it again?

“No, you didn’t.”

Taehyung’s straight teeth flashed dangerously.

“Don’t keep me waiting, gorgeous.”

While those few words rolled off his tongue, he took the opportunity to shift his hips closer to your face. You couldn’t hold back a swallow.

Hopefully, you wouldn’t make an absolute fool of yourself with what you were about to do.

You anchored your palms on your thighs, gripping lightly before you leaned forward, brushing your lips against the cool metal of his belt buckle. Praying that you wouldn’t get any marks on it, you took a hold of the leather with your teeth. You tried your best not to think of how stupid you might have looked, attempting to undo Taehyung’s belt this way.

But his word was absolute; no hands meant no hands.

Finally, you got somewhere, managing to release it from the metal prong before sliding the buckle away. This gave you access to his slacks now, relieved that this part would be much easier.

It was a good thing you only had lip balm on; any kind of stain on the expensive fabric would surely cause you to be reprimanded by your boss.

Your teeth loosened the button from its hole before going for the zipper tab, the sound of the fasteners undoing themselves like music to your ears. You went for his waistband as soon as you were finished, putting more force into your movement this time. With a sharp jerk, you pulled down enough to see a good portion of his briefs.

Just one layer left.

Taehyung seemed to be losing his patience, jutting his hips forward once again. Shooting him a reassuring look, you made quick work of the thin fabric. You barely had time to avoid his cock springing out and hitting you in the eye, face warming at the humored chuckle he gave.

Wanting to wipe the smirk off his face, your mouth engulfed as much of him as possible before giving a harsh suck.

“Shit—”

Lips curling around his length, you gave it your all, throwing in whatever tricks you were familiar with. Taehyung seemed to appreciate the effort, ebony eyes watching you like a hawk and filth-coated praises leaving his mouth.

“That’s it, baby— This what you wanted to do to me the whole day?”

Hopefully the way you fluttered your lashes got the message across.

“Goodness, I hope you’re not like this with every model you work with.”

Now your eyes narrowed, a hand coming up to swat his thigh on instinct. Unfortunately, you didn’t realize your mistake until Taehyung flew out to grab your wrist.

“What did I say, Y/N?”

Forgetting that your mouth was occupied, you began apologizing, but the idol was quick to stop you with his free hand.

“Give me your other arm.”

Your thighs quivered at the commanding tone covering the baritone now, obliging without a second thought. He wrapped his long fingers around your other wrist, keeping your arms up and next to his legs.

“Go on.”

You did not expect him to just take charge like that; the thought only made your pussy clench hard before you continued sucking him off.

For the most part, Taehyung let you do all the work. But sometimes his hips would come to life, taking a moment to give shallow thrusts into the wet heat of your mouth. The rational part of your brain freaked out whenever some of your spit threatened to leak out onto his pants while the horny part relished in the messiness.

Just before a large glob was about to slip past your lips, you felt him release your wrists and pull back to slide out of your mouth. While you were catching your breath, Taehyung helped you stand before walking you over to the couch on the other side of the room. He took a seat, keeping his legs spread as he tugged you by your hips to stand between them.

“Sorry to rush the fun, but my people are going to be looking for me soon.”

His hands already began working at your pants before the sentence was even finished.

“It’s fine.”

As soon as he opened the closures and yanked both waistbands down to your calves, you helped with getting them off your feet. He pushed his own clothing further down his legs and you straddled his lap, shivering at the sensation of his dick under your drenched core.

“You’re okay with this?”

Taehyung’s question took a second to sink in, but you nodded when it did.

“Yeah. I’m clean and safe.”

The man underneath you reflected the nod, hands sneaking around to cup your bare ass.

“Good. You don’t have to worry about getting anything from me, either.”

Your brows knitted jokingly as you felt Taehyung lift you up a bit.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to have to end up going to the media and letting them know that Kim Taehyung is carrying something.”

He merely chuckled, reaching down to guide himself to your entrance.

“And I don’t want to have to go to your boss and tell them about what went down in this room.”

Your mouth parted as you felt him begin to spread you out, words unable to come out until you were fully seated on his lap.

“T-Touché.”

Pleased with your acceptance, Taehyung took a hold of your hips and began pumping up into you. It was torture to have to hold back some of the louder noises you wanted to make, but you did not want to lose this damn job.

Guess you would have to show your appreciation another way.

Managing to balance yourself upright, you laid your palm on his chest, pushing the jacket aside to give you a better look at his torso. Your fingers roamed over the tanned skin, savoring the muscle and tone lying underneath. You took special interest in his stomach, enjoying the faint outline of abs that would show whenever he thrust up.

“Hey, that tickles.”

Your lips curled at Taehyung’s thick protest, sliding your index finger down to trace around his belly button.

“Sorry.”

He merely shook his head as you showed no signs of stopping your trek, digging his nails into your bottom.

“Sure you are.”

Taehyung made sure to get his revenge by pumping harder, forcing you to clap your free hand over your mouth, preventing a loud moan from escaping. He doesn’t slow down over time, fucking into you with abandon as low grunts left him. The model seemed content with watching you bounce above him for the most part. His dark orbs often switched between your face and where your bodies were connected.

The two of you continued until you felt that unbearable coil twisting in your gut, needing something extra to help it snap. Taking a chance, you removed the hand silencing yourself to grab one of Taehyung’s, sliding it between your hips. With a pleading look down at him, he nodded swiftly.

You were sure you tasted blood with how hard you bit on your lip when he started circling your aching clit.

But it was just what you needed, finding yourself getting to that precipice faster than before.

“T-Taehyung—”

Said man continued his movements, eyes steady on your face.

“Keep going, baby. Gonna make me come too—”

His admittance made your pussy quiver, but the excitement took a halt with a sudden thought you had.

“Wait, where are you gonna come?”

“I’ll pull out, don’t worry.”

Oh hell. If he did that, who knows where the mess would end up. While it would be unpleasant if it landed on your own clothes, any trace of semen on his own garments would cause a fiasco.

“Don’t, just— Stay inside, it’s fine.”

Taehyung gaped up at your words. It seemed like he wasn’t going to fight you though, not saying anything more. He let his hips do the talking for him instead.

With a few more steady thrusts and swipes over your bud, you saw stars behind your lids, arching your back and stifling down a cry in your throat. Your nails dug into the firm chest below, needing some sort of anchor as you rode out the tension. You almost missed the sight of Taehyung following behind you, watching as his face screwed up in bliss as ropes of release coated your walls.

His hips came to a stop after some time, his head flopping to rest on the back of the couch as he caught his breath.

“Fuck, that was good…”

You couldn’t speak quite yet, choosing to reflect the sentiment with an unsteady nod. The two of you took a moment to catch your breaths before you tapped his shoulder.

“We should probably get out of here now.”

“Ah.”

You were careful in pulling off of Taehyung’s dick, making sure nothing dripped out. Thankfully, a tissue box was nearby, allowing you to grab a few sheets to clean yourself up. You handed a couple to him as well.

Once you were done, you picked your pants and underwear off the floor, sliding them back on over trembling legs. Taehyung seemed to finish getting himself together at the same time as you, fastening his belt. He looked up at you with a grateful smile.

“Thanks for that, Y/N.”

You scoffed lightly, your own smile coming to the surface.

“I should be thanking you. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t expect to get the opportunity to fuck an idol.”

The taller man laughed at your quip, wispy bangs moving as he shook his head.

“Cross it off your bucket list. Who knows, we might see each other again in the future.”

Taehyung smirked at how flustered you became now, leaning down to plant a kiss on your swollen lips. He whispered against them, “Hell, I wouldn’t mind it. See ya.”

He didn’t even give you a chance to say goodbye, heading for the door. Shooting you a wink, he opened it before stepping out and shutting, leaving you all alone in the dressing room now.

Wow.

Did you really just sleep with the Kim Taehyung?

And got away with it?

A short laugh couldn’t help but come out.

Hopefully he was telling the truth when he said that what happened here would stay between the two of you.

Glancing at your watch, you decided to head back to the set to help break everything down. You walked over to the door and placed your hand on the knob.

A sudden realization froze your body and made your gut twist.

The two of you forgot to lock the door.

Motherfucker.

All you could do was sigh and shake your head before leaving; Taehyung better keep his pretty mouth shut.

©bangtanintotheroom, 2023. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.

[pearbunny]

the bucket list ✘ [five]

series masterlist | prev | next [ ❀ spotify playlist ]

summary: Fly to Korea. Check. Buy a bouquet of flowers for a stranger. Check. Have said stranger come along with you to accomplish your bucket list? Well that wasn’t on the list, but falling in love was. 

pairing: han jisung x afab!reader

genre: 18+ [MDNI] strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, later chapters to include: angst, comfort, smut.

general warnings:  tourist!mc, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, nudity, cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of death in later chapters, overarching theme of mental health, eventual smut.

word count: ~6.3k 

chapter content: mentions of food, alochol, excessive drinking, public singing, restaurant/bar setting, chef!lee know, bartender!jisung, barowner!changbin.

author's note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAY!! It's my first ever, hehe. Anyway, if I miss anything in the content warnings, please let me know. This one is longer than all other chapters, but i do hope you enjoy. :)

“Okay,” You grab your coffee and sit cross legged on the couch next to Jisung. 

He almost jumps out of his seat, caught by surprise. He glares at you playfully with a pout on his lips, making a dramatic show of it all. “Y/N! What if I died in my game?!” He was playing on his Nintendo switch, completely engrossed in whatever game it was. 

You peer over his shoulder, taking a glimpse at the screen. You roll your eyes at him and reach towards the leather bound notebook on the couch with your free hand. “Jisung, you’re playing Animal Crossing. You can’t die in that game.” 

Jisung presses a couple of buttons on the handheld console and the sound of little high pitched gibberish plays on its built-in speakers. “Okay, counterpoint: what if I could?”  He looks back at you, this time he’s the one to raise his brow. The pout on his lips quickly turns into a wide grin when you laugh at him. 

The two of you have gotten into a comfortable routine at his apartment. He’s always up by the time you wake up and has already made coffee for himself, so he’s already got a cup for you waiting. You would join him in the kitchen after showering, hair up in a towel, make-up free, completely fresh from the sleep of the previous night. 

One particular morning though, he wasn’t in the kitchen and instead in his room with the door cracked open. He had left you a note on the kitchen counter next to your coffee that had said, “Working on music. Headphones on. Just come in if you need anything.” It was in Korean and was a little difficult to read. Messy, all over the place, different sizes of characters, and you were about to give up until you saw an arrow at the corner of the post-it. You flipped it over and there, written just as messily, was an English translation. You remember being thankful over how thoughtful he was, despite the little drawing of a crying laughing smiley face next to it. 

“I have a couple of questions, Jisung.” You place the book on your lap and flip it open with your left hand whilst you sip your coffee in your right. 

“What’s up?” The clicky-clacky of the buttons of his switch sound off.. 

“Well,” you were looking over the list, “Do you have a pool?” 

“No.”  He answers simply.

“Okay, guess we’re not crossing off Have a Pool Party from the list…” Your brow furrows as you continue to find other options. “Would you want to go sky-diving?” You look over to him for his answer. 

This time, he drops his game to look you straight in the eyes. “No. No way. Me? In a plane where I jump off?” He shakes his head and picks the game back up. “Ha. You couldn’t pay me.” 

While he goes back to his game, you find yourself subconsciously smiling, sneaking in a couple more seconds of simply observing him: just in a white oversized tee, gray sweats, his hair kind of messy, most likely from laying in bed tossing and turning trying to get sleep. His glasses rest low on the bridge of his nose. When he rubs the strain from one of his eyes you quickly look away. 

You stare a hole into the page of the notebook. “Ummm,” You glance back over to him to see if he noticed you staring. He didn’t, thankfully. Or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. 

“Oh,” He places the Switch on the coffee table, “Didn’t you want to do the road trip one?” 

You shrug your shoulders. “I did, but you don’t have to come with me on it. I can take a bus or something.” 

He shakes his head and grabs the book from your lap and puts it on his own. “Nah, no way. We’ll go together.” He runs his fingers over a couple of the items. “Look, you’ve got ‘Send a Message in a Bottle’, ‘Sleep under the Stars’, and ‘Exchange playlists with someone’. That is all road trip material. We can go to Busan.” 

You scoot closer to him, looking at the things he pointed out. “Yeah, but I would feel bad if you were to come with me.” 

Jisung rolls his eyes and closes the book with a slight thump. “You’re already staying in my apartment rent free.” He looks at you with a dead panned expression. He stands up and takes the book with him as he goes into the kitchen area. 

You follow him, bringing your cup of coffee with you to the kitchen island with you.”Okay, but what about work?” 

“We can stop by tonight.” He says, working on replacing the water in the sunflower bouquet vase. “You can see where I work and I can beg my boss for more days off.” 

“I finally get to see where the Han Jisung works?” You watch him with your eyes squinted and a playful smirk on your lips. “Maybe he works as an adult dancer, or at a host club?” 

You can see his shoulders shake up and down as he laughs. “Definitely not.” He turns back around to you, placing the vase on the island. “So, what do we need to get ready for our trip?” 

You set your coffee cup aside and grab your phone, quickly searching up a travel guide to Busan on the browser. “Okay, well the bullet train will be about 60,000 Korean Won per person…” You scroll through the page, eyes speed reading through it. “First train leaves at 5:30 am and it would take us 3 hours…” You frown, that seemed like a lot of money…

Jisung leans against the island, hands bracing himself on either edge of the counter. “Or we could make it a real road trip and drive.”

“Oh,” You look up at him momentarily, then go back to your phone, opening a new tab. “Would renting a car be that much cheaper?” 

Jisung laughs and places his hand over your phone, making you put it down. “I have a car, you dork.” 

“You have a car?!”

Jisung nods simply, “Yes.” 

“And we’ve been walking and taking a taxi everywhere?” 

“Have you ever driven in a city? It’s horrible,” he pauses to laugh. “But if we’re going out of Seoul, it’s probably way more convenient than the train… but it will take us maybe an extra two hours.” 

“Hmmm,” You rest your hand on your palm, thinking about the price of everything. “I guess in the long run, it would be cheaper if we decide to go to different places in Busan.” 

Jisung goes to his room quickly and brings back his laptop, placing it on the counter and taking the seat beside you. He wakes the laptop off of sleep mode, “Do you normally plan out things? Next you’re going to give me an hourly schedule.” 

You nod and give off a lopsided smile. “Yeah.. that is something I would do. That’s part of the reason why I wanted to do the bucket list.” 

“I can kind of understand that.” Jisung takes a glance at you, before opening his own browser and looking up boarding options. “Well I’m glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.” He stares at his screen now, biting his lip in concentration as he scrolls through pages. 

“Thanks.” You place your hand on the back of his chair to brace yourself on it as you lean over to peer at his screen. “What about this one?” 

He checks the availability. “One room left with two beds. I’ll book it right now.” 

You hop off your chair and before you could make it through the guest room door, Jisung closes his laptop. “Okay, check-in is at 3.” 

You turn around and pout at him, “But I was supposed to pay for it. I’m the one doing the bucket list!” 

Jisung shrugs and takes his laptop, “Then you get the next one.” You can’t see it, but you know that he had the biggest grin on his face. “I’m going to pack my bags. I say we leave tomorrow at 10am.” 

It doesn’t take you long to pack for a trip to Busan. You’re not completely sure how long you were staying, but you do pride yourself on being a habitual over-packer so you aren’t too worried. The only things you consciously have to look out for are your bath supplies. 

You changed into a pair of black wide-legged trousers and a cream square necked tank top, opting to go for a more casual look. Ontop, you had on a black lightweight cropped blazer, giving you the illusion of longer legs. 

When Jisung meets you back in the living room, he’s in a black band tee, jean jacket on top with some loose legged pants. He carries a duffel bag worth of clothes and places it by the door for easy access tomorrow morning. 

Your full suitcase is next to it and he turns his head to look back at you on the couch. “Really? We’re only going for a couple of days.”

“Yeah, but you can never be too prepared.”  You smile brightly at him. 

“Did you leave anything behind?” He makes a show of lifting up your suitcase. 

“Well, I’m not that insane. I left the clothes I’ve already used behind.” 

Jisung checks the clock on the wall and grabs his keys from the counter, “Ready to go? It’s kind of late, sorry. We can grab some food at my workplace. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” 

“I’ve always wondered what kind of food they had at a host bar.” 

By the time you two get to the bar, it’s already 8:00. Jisung reaches for the door’s handle and pulls it open for you, “Come on in.” 

You step inside, closely followed by Jisung. The place is dark and dimly lit: overhead fluorescent lights low to allow the neon signs along the walls to cast more of a moody atmosphere. In the far back corner is a bar, and on the short wall farthest from the bar is a built-in bookcase with a neon sign in the middle that reads, “Music For The People”. Beneath the sign is an assortment of cards and board games. The place seemed to have a very laid back feel, long tables to promote mingling with different groups of people. 

There’s a DJ set up in another corner with a stage set up next to it, two microphone stands and a monitor below the stage. Judging by the two people on the stage singing, it seemed to be karaoke night. 

“It’s on your bucket list, right?” 

You look at Jisung with a soft smile on your face. You’re touched that he remembers. 

Looking around, you notice that there are people of all sorts; people that seem to be local, and foreigners as well. You definitely don’t feel like you stick out like a sore thumb for whatever reason. Then again, you remember that you are in the more touristy part of the city, so it made sense that the place looked foreigner-friendly. 

“This is where I work. Not really a host bar, is it?” He offers you his hand as he nods his head back towards the corner where the bar was at. It was crowded in that area, lots of people waiting for their drinks or wanting to order one. 

You take his hand without a moment of hesitation. As he makes his way through all the people, you stick close behind him. Eventually, he’s at the bar and he maneuvers you in front of him just when a seat opens up. You gratefully take the seat and lean towards him, making it easier for him to hear you over the people singing on stage and the people talking around you. “No, it’s definitely not. But I wasn’t too far off.”

Jisung opts to stand next to you instead of taking a seat, leaning himself on the counter. He waves over at a worker behind the bar, a wide grin on his face. “Changbin!” 

Your eyes look toward the man Jisung was waving at. After the man finishes up with another customer at the other end of the bar, he comes towards the both of you. He works out, you can tell with how his plain black tee hugged his pecs and his biceps. In contrast to how built he looks, he has fluffy locks of black hair and the kindest smile. “Yo! Hannie!” 

You wince at the pure volume that came out from the man. A couple of the patrons look in his direction, surprised as well, and other people who you assume are regulars, merely laugh. 

“Ah, you must be Hannie’s new friend!” Changbin looks at you with his brows raised, then quickly glances over at Jisung before going back to you. “Hannie said that he had a friend come into town and he was going to show them around.” 

You nod and smile nervously at the man, “That would be me. I’m Y/N. Did he tell you that we had just met that day, too?”

Changbin looks back at Jisung pointedly. “He did not. But you can fill me in while Hannie here helps out for a little bit, yea? I’m guessing one of those tour guides suggested us to a group of foreign college students and Lee Know-Hyung is in the back on dedicated chef duty.” 

“Ah, okay got it.” Jisung doesn’t whine or complain about it and instead, squeezes past all the throngs of people. You can vaguely hear him screaming, “If you let me through, you’ll get your drinks faster” over all the noise. It makes you giggle. 

Changbin looks at you with a raised brow and a smirk. “So, what will you have?”

“Uh,” You try to think of any of the mixed drinks you’ve had in the past. “I’m not really good at ordering drinks?” 

He laughs and you laugh along with him. “How can you be bad at ordering a drink?”

You place your hands on the edge of the bar counter and lean forward, raising the volume of your voice to combat the change in song and the seemingly drunk singers over the speakers. “My friends usually order me drinks.” 

Changbin nods as if he understands. He looks over to his left on his side of the bar and calls out in a loud voice to Jisung who is pouring shots of sort of liquor into six shot glasses lined up in a row. “Hannie! For Y/N?” 

Jisung looks over quickly before placing the bottle down and taking the glasses three by three and placing them towards the people ordering them. He takes their card and quickly turns around to swipe it before handing it back. He looks back over to you and Changbin and yells back over. “French ‘75 to start!”

“Ohhh, interesting.” Changbin nods slowly and goes to make you the drink, placing champagne and other sorts of things into a shaker. 

“What’s that?”  You question, curious as you’ve never had it before. 

“It’s Champagne, gin, lemon, and sugar.” He moves the shaker back and forth which shows off his biceps. You almost laugh at how muscular he truly is. He pours the drink into an angular sleek champagne flute and places it in front of you. 

You move your purse in your lap so you can take your wallet out, but Changbin shakes his head. “Nope. It’s on Hannie.” 

You laugh and take your hands out of your purse and take a sip of the drink.Your eyes go wide at how much you like it. You can definitely taste the alcohol, but it's more bubbly than anything else. “Oh! This is good! It’s really refreshing too.” 

Changbin watches you while he rinses out the shaker. “M’hm. Hannie must know you well enough for that.” 

“Huh?” You glance back over and Jisung is talking to a couple of customers, laughing and smiling while taking orders. “Oh, did he base it on my personality?”

Changbin shrugs and works on another drink for a patron nearby. He talks to you while he prepares it, “It means you’re a little type A. But since he said to start with it–” 

“It means you gotta loosen up.” Jisung chimes in, coming by to check up on you. “But we’re just starting.” He flashes you a smile and grabs another bottle of liquor behind the bar and goes back to his section. 

You blush a little and make an effort to relax your shoulders. “Is it that obvious?” 

Changbin finishes up with his customer and comes back to you. “A little bit.” He gestures over to the stage, “Are you gonna’ sing?” 

“Oh, no. Definitely not.” 

“It’s on your list!” Jisung yells over. You’re unsure of how he hears you over the noise. He’s actually been looking back every so often to check up on you, but he goes back to his job whenever you look over, just missing his eyes on you by half seconds. 

You close your eyes and heave a loud sigh. “He’s right. It is on the list.” 

Changbin looks confused, but quickly shakes it off. “Okay, Y/N, you have to explain everything. But I’ll get you something to eat.” 

Changbin disappears behind a door that you assume is the kitchen. In that moment, Jisung manages to catch a breath to come back to you. 

“You doing okay?” 

You laugh and notice the sweat on his brow. “I think I should be asking you that.” 

He takes a couple of napkins and pats the sweat off of his forehead. “Yeah. I’m fine. But I gotta muster up the courage to ask Changbin for more days off after this so if you could really sell our situation, that would be great.” He flashes you a smile and eyes your drink. “Let me know when you’re ready for another.” 

You take the drink and take another big sip. You hiccup at all the bubbles. 

Jisung watches you and takes the glass from you once you're done. “So, what do you think? You gonna sing?”  He’s looking at you with something you can’t quite put the finger out. Like he was curious, or maybe like he was really just trying to give you all his attention. It made you feel kinda… fuzzy. 

“I don’t know, I’ve never sung in front of so many people.” Your eyes shift back and forth, feeling more anxious now that you noticed the way he held eye contact with you. “Maybe I just need more alcohol in my system.” 

He ducks down to your level which has slumped a bit because of your lack of confidence. He looks at you through the tops of his lashes. “Hey, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. You can just hang out, eat some good food, drink as much or as little as you want. You can watch me grovel on my feet for the next week off.” 

Jisung’s last comment makes you crack a smile and that makes him smile widely. Changbin comes back to the bar and stands by Jisung, raising a brow at the part he came in on. “Eh? A week?”

“No no, I’ll do it. I came all the way to Korea to do as much as I could on this list, so I will get on that stage and sing… but maybe after a couple of shots.” 

“Shots! Hey!!” Jisung is quick to celebrate and run to the other end of the bar to get shot glasses, completely avoiding Changbin’s question. 

Changbin points a finger at Jisung’s retreating form. “Did he say the next week?” 

You give an exaggerated shrug of your shoulders and a confused look. “No idea.” 

Jisung comes back with four shot glasses and pours some kind of clear liquid in it. Changbin whines – more like shouts in a whiny tone– and clicks his tongue. “Get Hyung in here if we’re doing a shot!” 

Jisung screams from his spot. “Hyung!” 

Almost immediately, another man comes through the kitchen door with four dishes in his arm, all balancing precariously in his hands and forearms. He places it on the counter against the wall and turns to the rest of you with a look of annoyance on his face that looks like it had been perfectly sculpted and molded from marble. “Oh. Good to see you’re actually in for a shift this week, Jisung.” He peers over at the shots and rolls his eyes. Then, he looks at you straight in the eyes and it makes you cower a little, the weight of his stare intimidating you. After a second, his features soften and he grins at you, his eyes turning into half moons and creasing at the edges. “Hi! I’m Lee Know!” He reaches over and takes his shot glass, bringing it up to his nose to smell it. “Vodka?” 

The rest of you follow Lee Know’s lead and put your glasses in the air then clink them together. 

“Geonbae!” 

You shut your eyes and take the shot, feeling the alcohol sting as it goes down. You shake your head in disgust and shove the glass back towards their side of the bar. 

Changbin laughs and this time it’s a high pitched one with a rapid staccato as he gathers the glasses and washes them off. 

Lee Know is still staring at you and that’s when you realize that you hadn’t introduced yourself. 

“Ah, oh. I’m Y/N. I’m Jisung’s new friend.” 

He nods once and goes back to the dishes he had placed down and hands them to Jisung to give them out. 

You look to Jisung quickly who gives you a shrug before going off to give people their orders which leaves you alone with the new man. 

“Seungmin says you’ve been staying with Jisung.” Lee Know crosses his arms over each other, leaning against the back counter.

Changbin listens in as he makes more drinks for his customers and he makes a point to make it known when he extends his neck over in your direction. 

“Yeah. For a couple of days. I told him it was okay and that I could find another place.”   Changbin slides you a drink in the meantime, which you gladly take. “Another French 75” he says. He gives you a look, what that reads: you might need this.

Lee Know is very hard to read and judging by how Changbin and Jisung both left you with him, you could only assume he was very respected, and maybe even feared. You sip on your drink, hoping that the buzz starts to come soon and that you gain some sort of confidence. 

“No,” Lee Know finally speaks, which causes you to look at him again. “Staying with Jisung is good. He needs a friend.” 

You tilt your head, confused at the statement. “Aren’t you all friends?” 

Lee Know nods and takes the empty glass. That sip that you took might have been more like a gulp. “Well, we are. But sometimes it’s easier to talk to other people about certain things.”  

Lee Know notices Jisung is back and places a hand on his shoulder before walking away. “Just get me for the next shot, yea?” 

Jisung gives him a thumbs up and places a plate in front of you. “I didn’t realize this was yours, sorry.” 

You look down at it and it’s beautiful. It was only a piece of salmon laid on microgreens, but the plating was exquisite. You look around the place again, just to make sure you weren’t in a 5 star restaurant. Jisung notices this and laughs. “That’s just Lee Know Hyung. We keep telling him to find another classier restaurant, but he says it would be too stuffy.” 

Changbin is at the register, swiping different cards. “Really, he’d just miss us too much.” 

Jisung nods in agreement. “Want another before you go up there?” 

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. You chew on the inside of your cheek, debating on going up there and when that little ball of anxiousness knots in your stomach, you give him a nod. “One more. But give me something different.” 

Jisung nods and quickly grabs a shaker, pouring the ingredients in. “You ever had a Sakura Martini?” 

You shake your head, “No… I usually stick to vodka sodas. Do you think I’ll like it?” 

He shrugs, shaking the shaker in his right hand back and forth. “You’ll like the way I make it.” He gives you that grin again, the left corner of his lips pulling back to show his pearly whites. He’s being a little cocky, but it’s attractive? You think you may be a little tipsy at this point. He pours you the drink in a martini glass and garnishes it with a sprig of a flower; a sakura blossom judging by the name of the drink. 

You take the cocktail and sip on it, wincing a little. “Jisung, this is strong. Good, but strong.” 

He wipes the bar clean from the syrup that he spilled a bit of. “Well then, I guess you’ll be fine going up there.” He hands a book of songs to choose from and you’re flipping through the pages. 

While you parse through the songs, you are taking bites of the salmon and washing it down with your drink. At some point, Changbin had called a switch and when you look up, it’s him you see, which catches you off guard. 

“Where did Jisung go?” 

“Ah, his regulars came in.” 

You look in his direction and he’s surrounded by girls who are leaning forward on the bar to get his attention. 

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but you huff in slight annoyance. “Guess he’s popular.” 

 “He’s definitely good for business.”Changbin laughs. “So what was this I heard about you staying with him?” 

“I basically walked up to him, gave him some flowers, we grabbed coffee and he offered his guest room to me since I didn’t really have a place yet.” 

“You came to Korea wi–” 

“Yeah, I know. Kind of reckless of me. But that was the point.” 

“Oh, is this your list you were talking about?” 

You nod and place the booklet down, deciding on a song. “Yeah… I’ve kind of just been stuck in the everyday notions and I kind of decided to take the bucket list and just run with it.” 

Changbin’s expression grows soft and fond at your explanation. “What have you guys done so far?” 

“Well, I got a tattoo, we drew portraits of each other, we crashed a wedding. Tomorrow morning we’re planning on going on a small trip to Busan, but we can come back before his next shift,” You sputter out the last part quickly. “But tonight…,” You point your thumb at the stage, “I guess I’m doing karaoke?”

“Here in Korea, it’s Norebang.” Changbin takes a couple of empty glasses that were left on the bar and puts them in a crate that he’ll bring to the back to get washed. “Have you heard of a One Shot?” 

Lee Know comes back out with more plates to be served and his expression drops. “One Shot?!” His eyes roll to the back of his head and he grabs Jisung and brings him over. 

You’re confused. “What’s a One Shot?” 

Jisung is trying to catch up with the multiple conversations around him and since Lee Know had pried him away from his regulars, they followed him over to where you were seated, chanting ‘One Shot’ over and over again. “You just chug your drink.” 

“But I don’t have a drink?” 

“Then get everyone a drink, Changbin!” Lee Know yells as he excuses himself to serve his orders. 

“Mekju?” Jisung calls out and the group of girls agree. 

Changbin doesn’t have to look at you to realize you may not understand. “It’s Beer and Soju in a glass.” As he explains, he’s pouring four glasses while Jisung is working on another four. 

They both line up the glasses filled with light amber beer and soju. Lee Know comes back and takes his glass, raising it up in the air. “Love Shot!” 

Changbin grabs his glass and turns to Lee Know  He uses his eyes to tell you to grab your glass. You do, and once you have it in your hands, Changbin points at Jisung. You look at him a little confused, but Jisung grabs his own glass and extends his arm out in your direction.  At this, the girls pout and heave out sighs and whines of disappointment. They turn to their own friends and two by two, link their arms together and drink from their cups. 

You look to Changbin and Lee Know who are doing the same, albeit Lee Know dramatically hitting Changbin’s bicep. “You’re working out too much!” 

Jisung is looking at you with a smile on his face, eyes glistening in mischievousness, “Well?” 

You're feeling warm, your cheeks and ears are heating up. The lights in the restaurant are not helping you cool down. That’s definitely why you’re blushing, not because Han Jisung is looking at you like you’re the only one he sees at the moment. Well, that’s what he’s doing right? Or maybe it was the alcohol that made it seem that way…

You swallow the lump in your throat and wrap your arm around his. The bar counter between you too is a little too deep so you have to stand up and lean forward on your stool to get closer to Jisung. “Cheers.”  Your eyes are focused on Han Jisung’s and his are focused on you as you both start to chug your drinks. 

You pull apart and place your glass on the counter. You take a dramatic step back, fanning yourself. “It’s so hot in here.” 

Jisung eyes you for a moment with the same grin on his face before he takes your glasses away. “So, you gonna sing?” 

“I’m gonna sing!” 

You pull the collar of your jacket away from your neck, trying to cool yourself down. 

Lee Know holds his hand out. “Give.” 

You don’t question how demanding he seems to naturally be and shrug off your jacket to give it to him. You turn towards the stage, shaking your hands at the wrists to get rid of any nervousness left in your body. 

You place the correct number into the machine next to the stage and when the song that the current person is singing ends, you give an applause with the rest of the restaurant bar and take the microphone from them. 

You take a step on the stage and squint at how bright the lights are. You bring the microphone to your mouth and clear your throat as the synth of the intro starts to play. Your eyes dart back and forth at all the faces and you feel like you wanna back out all of a sudden, palms sweaty, knees feeling weak. 

At that moment, there are screams of encouragement from the bar. It’s Jisung, Changbin, and Lee Know. They’re whooping and hollering and clapping. One of the girls leans to Jisung to ask him a question and you can see him mouth your name. That same girl starts chanting your name and her friends join along. You can’t help but smile and even laugh. 

The screen in front of you starts to count down your queue. The intro isn’t that difficult to sing, it’s actually very similar to talking. When you got to the pre-chorus, it became a little more melodic. There’s a little riff that you attempt to do, you’re unsure if you nail it, but Jisung is cheering loudly for you and you close your eyes from embarrassment, choosing to look away from that corner of the room. 

When the chorus comes, most of the people in the place are singing along with you and over every single voice, you can hear Jisung, Changbin, and Lee Know’s. It was a back and forth between you singing, “Thank U, Next” and everyone else acting as your backup singers singing, “NEXT”. 

Some time during the second chorus, Jisung leans over to Changbin. “Hyung, I might need a week off.” 

Changbin pauses singing to raise a skeptical brow at the younger man, but quickly joins back in during the bridge.  “This is my favorite part!”

 By the end, everyone was singing the outro. 

Loud shouting and applause followed after the song and you quickly escaped back to your seat at the bar, squeezing past all the people who gave you pats on the back and thumbs ups. One of the girls who had taken your seat hopped off to give you the chair. 

You sat down and had your elbows on the table, face in your hands. You’re groaning in embarrassment, but mostly because you needed to contain all the adrenalin you felt in your body. 

“You did well, Y/N!” Lee Know pours your group another four shots. 

Jisung and Changbin look at their chef, confused. “When did you pour the shots?” 

Lee Know smirks and you can’t help but liken him to a cat at that moment. “Just take the damn shots.” 

By the time Changbin hands you your second glass of water, you were definitely drunk. You weren’t slurring your words, but you’d stop mid sentence to laugh at something you had just said yourself and Jisung was keeping up with you in terms of level of toxicity. 

Jisung was in the middle of taking another order when Changbin swats him away. “You’re off.” 

He fishes his phone from his back pocket. “Hyung, it’s only 2 in the morning.” He sighs dramatically, his intoxication pretty evident. 

Changbin grabs the bottle of liquor from Jisung’s hands and blocks him from it with his body. “Yea, well Y/N is drunk.” 

You look at him with a pout “Not that drunk.”

Chanbgin raises a brow at you when you start swaying a little in your seat and shakes his head. “Hannie, you are also drunk. You’re pouring a little too heavy handed.”  

Jisung nods admittedly. “Yeah, that’s true.” 

You giggle at that. 

Lee Know comes out of the kitchen, untying the apron around his waist and tossing it aside. “You guys have a road trip tomorrow though, no?” Lee Know takes an order next to you and then rolls his sleeve up to help Changbin out with the drinks. 

“Oh!” You nod your head, “We do! We should get going.” 

“Jisung, her coat.” 

“Ah” He bends down to the small locker for employees under the bar counter and grabs it and brings it over to you. He places it over your shoulders and holds his hand out. “I guess we’re on our way then?” 

“Byeeee '' You emphasize your goodbye, taking Jisung’s hand while waving at the two boys still working with your other. 

“Han Jisung!”  Changbin calls out once you’ve made it half way through the exit. 

“Yo?” Han yells back. His voice carries far and loudly it makes you wince in pain hearing it right next to you. 

“I’ll see you next week!” 

You turn around to see Changbin waving goodbye. Lee Know is pointing at the both of you and he screams, just as loud. “Get a hangover drink for the both of you!” 

You’re back at Jisung’s apartment after stopping by the convenient store for two hangover drinks, one for each of you in the morning.

You sit on the floor at the coffee table across from him, laughing at something he just said with another drink that Jisung had made for you when you mentioned you could do one more before calling it quits. “You can cross Sing Karaoke In Front of People off your list now.” He says, looking at you over the rim of his glass of whiskey.  “Oh, I can.” You place your now empty cup on the coffee table, getting on your feet to look for the notebook. You feel a little woozy, but it’s not concerning. As far as you’re aware, your speech wasn’t affected yet and you knew that was the tell tale sign that you had met your own personal limit. 

“It’s on the counter.” Jisung stands up with you and grabs your cup, heading over to the kitchen. 

You follow him and open the notebook, grabbing a random pen and crossing it off. “You know, I’m really glad I found this lis–” 

Your eyes look up and you find Jisung staring at you. 

He’s leaning with his back against the refrigerator, arms crossed and head slanted in your direction. One arm is crossed over his chest, the other is bent up at the elbow, his fingers resting on his bottom lip.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Your cheeks are already red so it hides the sweeping blush on your cheeks. The alcohol in your system makes you naturally giggly and happy, so the smile on your lips is excused, though you know that if you were sober, you’d look very similar to how you do right now. 

“Like what?” Jisung asks with a smirk on his lips. He pushes himself off the fridge and he takes a couple steps towards you to stand next to you. Soon, he’s in front of you, resting his arms on the island table behind you. You’re between his arms, trapped and you can’t look away from his gaze. He can’t hide his expression. His eyes are going over your whole form slowly, they come back up and linger on your lips for a moment, then he meets your eyes again and his deepens the smirk. 

“Like you want to kiss me?”

ending author's notes: I'm sitting here kicking my feet up and giggling "Like you wanna kiss me?" HEHEHE who do I think I am?! I hope you all enjoyed it. Next chapter contains smut.

taglist

@burningchaosdeer, @bat-shark-repellant, @jisunglyricist, @captivq, @lixiel0ver, @channieandhisgoonsquad, @dalamjisung, @laylasbunbunny, @beanebabyy, @leyknxw, @vixensss, @hyunfilms, @cutiespaghetti, @hanjisunginc

couldn't be tagged

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

The Lost Boys Musical Idea (Screenplay/Sneak Peek~!)

Here's a little sneak peek of the unofficial TLB Musical idea I'm working on! I just got the first scene of the movie done, and I hope it's good! But let me know what yall think and what might need to be edited or added! I'd love to hear your thoughts :] Enjoy~!!🩸🩸

🦇🦇🦇

The scene starts of with a narrator that’s off stage, speaking about Santa Carla and how it seems like a normal place, maybe a few places you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in or wander around alone, but with it’s infamous boardwalk, it does get a few tourists. But as he continues, he speaks of the dangers and that this town has a dark side behind the twinkling lights. As he continues to speak, and his voice grows more mysterious and malicious, we slowly begin to hear the chorus of ‘Cry little Sister’ play, sort of like the opening of the Lost Boys movie, a choir chanting ‘Thou Shall not fall, thou shall not die, thou shall not fear, thou shall not kill.'

(NEW SCENE)

While the choir sings, a set of the carnival ride would be setting up, and a few more things to give off the boardwalk opening. We’d start with a few folks talking and chatting, the main focus on a couple having indistinct chatter- but cutting through the silence would be laughter and shouting- The one and only LOST BOYS making their way onto the scene, stopping at a few crowds, and causing a little chaos as they push between the couple, making them stumble as the four unknown Vampires. The couple make some complain about the four always causing trouble for everyone on the boardwalk - probably making more complains that they don’t know that the Boys overhear.

MARKO or PAUL would say something about lighting up as DAVID would make some comment to The Boys about the people around here, not understanding that when the sun goes down, the town is theirs. That’s when the first song would begin (which is an official song by G Tom Mac, which you can find here on Spotify!) Sleep All Day, Party All Night.

As DAVID would sing (plus the other Boys singing backup) they’d go around the set dancing and singing whilst doing things to tease or bother the other tourists and passerby’s, before they finally go to the Merry-Go-Round, flirting with a girl who’s already taken as they continue to sing- causing a little comedy chase as the boyfriend stands up and tries to throw a punch at DAVID- who dodges before quickly running around the Merry-Go-Round set piece with the other Boys Tailing behind as the boyfriend chases them. They continue running in circles as the song would finish, swiftly being cut off as the Policeman steps in and stops DAVID with his baton around his neck.

He tells them the whole ‘I told you to stay off the board walk’ yadda yadda, and releases DAVID, who is anything but pleased. But they oblige, walking away as the three other Lost Boys grumble and groan in complaint, until DAVID turns back to look at the scene. He sings a small thirty second reprise of Sleep All Day, Party All Night’ at least to the same tune, slower and more sinister as he says something about this town not being able to see what’s coming to them. He then smiles evilly and fully exits the scene; the stage goes dark.

[popbloganddropit]

The Tortured Poets Department - Taylor Swift (Part 3)

Apologies for the long delay, I got hit by a holiday and life has been a little busy and sleepless lately. I will try my best to get the finale, Part 4. Out as quickly as possible!

17. The Black Dog- Some of my favorite songs are “You Are In Love” and “Right Where You Left Me,” and I’m still baffled this was left as a bonus track. If I wrote this song (solo!!!), I would never shut up about and put it on every album I could. The Anthology has some really great, interesting stuff, but I just think “The Black Dog” is in a league of its own. The lyrics scratch an itch I didn’t know I had and the drums and echo kicking in on “screaming” every time (except the perfection that is the whispered final one) is so cathartic. This is a quintessential break up song; a perfect balance of confusion, nostalgia, sadness and anger. Tattoo this song on my body and put “I hope it’s shitty in The Black Dog” on my gravestone. 5/5

Best Line: “And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons, even if I die screaming, and I hope you hear it”.

18. imgonnagetyouback- This track is a little meh for me. There’s some lines that feel like they could have used a second draft, and some of them are in the chorus. “Smash up your bike” just seems very random to me and doesn’t make up for the slightly off rhyme scheme enough. There’s some fun vocal moments; she sounds like she’s having the best time in the bridge, but I can see why this is was left off the main track list. 2.5/5

Best Line: “I, I hear the whispers in your eyes, I'll make you wanna think twice. You'll find that you were never not mine. I'm gonna get you back.”

19. The Albatross- This song is fun to sing along to, despite the message being sad. A little research into the Time of the Ancient Mariner (or explainers from the literary Swifties) might help this song click for you if it hasn’t. There’s also a little Blank Space infused in, a “this is what they’re saying about me, I’ll be that character” energy. “Cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you” rolls off the tongue far smoother than anything containing the word “anoint” has any right to. 4.5/5

Best Line: “Devils that you know, raise worse hell than a stranger. She's the death you chose, you're in terrible danger.”

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus- I love a song with a lot or yearning and boy, did I get a feast here. I also really like the subtle, but beautiful musical background Dessner has given us. Those little flourishes elevate the mood so perfectly. The “Maroon” reference is so interesting. The possibilities of mixed genders in the title. There is much to contemplate here, but you are expertly only left with questions, similar to the narrator. A little like the state of the narrator’s affairs, this song haunts the little crevices of my mind, worming it’s way towards being one of my favorites. 5/5

Best Line: Spotify once described my musical aura as “yearning and wistful” and this entire chorus scratches that itch so well. “If you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'. If you want to tear my world apart, just say you've always wondered.”

21. How Did It End- another song that might be a career high but is delegated to the middle of the second secret album??? At least it’s technically a Track 5. She really captures the embarrassment of breaking up and everyone finding out and some acting like they care so they can have more fodder for gossip. Meanwhile the protagonist doesn’t really even seem to have the answers to give them, a genius double entendre with both onlookers and the narrator asking the titular question. “Soon they'll go home to their husbands. Smug cause they know they can trust him,” really punches in a break up song. Everyone else has what she doesn’t. There is so much heartbreaking minutiae tucked into this song; it’s a beautiful moment of vulnerability. 5/5

Best Line: Truly a lot of great stuff. I love the minor circus theme sprinkled in throughout the album, including here with, “Come one, come all. It's happening again. The empathetic hunger descends.” But “And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign,” is so good, it makes me physically ill.

22. So High School- a classic Taylor Swift track list move is to whiplash the listener a bit after ripping their heart out with a drastic tone shift and “So High School” continues this time-honored tradition. It is a track full of ear worms and nostalgic soft rock sounds that make it sound like it’s a classic needle drop in a 2000’s rom com. She sounds like she’s having so much fun, and it’s infectious. I wouldn’t return to high school for a million dollars, but this song would have me throwing on a hoodie with the neck cut and rolling the waistband of my Soffe shorts in an instant! 4.5/5

Best Line: “I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you,” feels so perfectly high school to me. Honorary mention to “Truth, dare, spin bottles. You know how to ball, I know Aristotle. Brand new, full-throttle. Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto” for being so funny. If you think those are dead serious lines meant to be taken at face value, that’s a skill issue.

23. I Hate It Here- Daydreamers will delight at this song’s beautiful imagery. The “Here” in the title can be anywhere. A bad date, a town you’ve outgrown, a bad time in your life. Criticism of the second verse was overblown upon the album release within context of the song, but it is a little clunky. I really love the flowing melody and glowing depictions of where she escapes to, but I don’t need the verses the way I do in many other songs on the album. 3.5/5

Best Line: “I hate it here so I will go to lunar valleys in my mind, when they found a better planet, only the gentle survived.”

24. thanK you aIMee - this is a cheeky little track about rising above the bullies. It’s catchy and fun enough, I think that’s the capitalization in the title is distracting a bit from the point. The song feels like a wink and a nudge while ultimately taking the high road and the title feels like a pointed barb. 3.5/5

Best Line: “But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth. That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.”

Are you an original album or anthology songs stan? Let me know in the comments!!

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

We don't talk enough about whumpy songs, do you have any recommendations? i mean, look at the lyrics of these songs, whumpy asf: Bleeding out - Imagine Dragons, Stitches - Shawn Mendes, I'm a sucker for pain- Imagine Dragons, etc

YES 👏 those are all fantastic songs, I love them so much. And ooh buddy did you send me into a hyperfocus zone for the past like hour and a half at least, I think I went through every playlist I've ever made + liked songs 😂😂 unless noted, I haven't watched the music videos for most of these so full disclosure I don't know what you'll find on youtube, I made this list from Spotify

Bloodshot - Sam Tinnesz

See You Bleed - Ramsey

Run for Your Life - K.Flay

Partners in Crime - Set It Off, Ash Costello

Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (acoustic version feels even whumpier to me tbh)

Liar - The Arcadian Wild (mildly, but I like it)

She Doesn't Sleep - Anthony Amorim

Hit and Run - LOLO

Blood - My Chemical Romance

I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

An Unhealthy Obsession - The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra (very heavily about stalking lol)

Body - Mother Mother

Champion - American Authors, Beau Young Prince

Trouble - Valerie Broussard

Siren Head - Chills, CORPSE (horror based topic but corpse voice make brain go brr)

In Hell I'll Be in Good Company - The Dead South

Sloppy Seconds - Watsky (mainly the first verse)

The London Air Raids - Vian Izak (civilians during war cw)

Bulletproof - La Roux

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller

Kill of the Night - Gin Wigmore

Dying Day - Gin Wigmore

Doombop! - The Toxhards (music video is funny but also whump vibes)

Dead! - My Chemical Romance

Rusted From the Rain - Billy Talent

River Below - Billy Talent

Cult leader - KiNG MALA

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Bones - NateWantsToBattle (music video is pretty great too)

As We Fall - League of Legends (check out the music video!!!)

I Hope You Die in a Fire - Grand Commander

Stronger - The Score

Kiss With A Fist - Florence+ The Machine (cw for domestic abuse but it's like. Kinda a bop tbh)

The Wolves - JJ and The Pillars

Hell's Comin' with Me - Poor Man's Poison

[oneunexpected]

Happy TUC20! Last year, for the fifth anniversary of TUC Week, I wanted to create a playlist for every book in the series with one song per chapter. Well, I never got around for it, but when I saw @prophecyofgray's event I decided I’d use it as a second chance!

So, here’s my chapter-by-chapter playlist for Gregor the Overlander, with a brief description of why I chose each song. This one was tough, because so much of it is exposition, but I hope you enjoy and tune in to a couple of tracks during your (re)read! Click here to listen on Spotify. If you're gonna listen to anything, listen to Track 24, that's my favorite :)

1 - Could Be a Curse by Kaina - I almost went with Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” for this one, because I wanted to capture how cooped up Gregor feels, and I think both songs capture that feeling of wanting more out of your life than you’re getting. I went with Could Be a Curse because the line “What if I die here, holding my breath” reminds me of Gregor at this point — he’s spent the last few years of his life holding his breath, wondering about his father’s fate.

2 - Come Along by Cosmo Sheldrake - Gregor and Boots meet the cockroaches and run to Regalia in this chapter. Cosmo Sheldrake’s music has such a unique and almost fantastical quality to it, and I thought this would be a good choice to represent how strange this new world is to Gregor and how quickly he’s whisked off into it.

3 - Uninvited by Alanis Morisette - This song goes hard. It was written for a movie about a fallen angel, so it captures the whole “I’m curious about you but also I don’t feel like you belong” dynamic Luxa and Gregor have in this chapter.

4 - Sound and Color by Alabama Shakes - “A new world hangs / Outside the window / Beautiful and strange.” Just another song I thought would be good for Gregor’s introduction to the Underland, especially with its line, “No more to see the setting of the sun.” Of course, Gregor’s only goal is to see the sun again.

5 - Plainsong by The Cure - I chose this song more for its sound than its lyrics. The shimmery, quiet chimes that begin the track give way to this explosion of synthy strings and bass, and I chose that to represent Gregor walking through the moths and seeing Regalia for the first time.

6 - Hotel California by The Eagles - Honestly I could not decide what song to use for this chapter. I nearly used the song I ended up using for chapter 10, but I went with this classic mostly for the line, “I had to find the passage back to the place I was before.” Gregor is realizing the fate of every other Overlander that falls, and he’s also beginning to realize he is something of a captive, so I think the song’s concept of a too-good-to-be-true place that traps all who enter fits well.

7 - Sinnerman by Nina Simone - One of the greatest songs ever, used here to try to replicate the chaos of Gregor on the run from the Regalians on the river, not knowing what danger waits for him.

8 - Come Away to the Water by Maroon 5 and Rozzi - The first of many tracks I stole from The Hunger Games soundtrack. Shoutout to Suzanne for reusing themes. This song is creepy, kind of charming, and intended to lure the listener to a slaughter — perfect for the gnawers, who in this chapter promise to hunt Gregor to the last rat, matching well with the song’s refrain, “We are coming for you.”

9 - Eight by Sleeping at Last - I was stumped on this one, so I turned to Sleeping at Last, whom everyone in the fandom was obsessed with before I joined tumblr. This chapter gives us the first glimpse behind Luxa’s walls as we learn of her parents’ fate. The lyrics “I was little, weak and perfectly naive / And I grew up too quick” match her very well, and frankly, they match Gregor, too.

10 - Run Daddy Run by Miranda Lambert - Another THG classic that fits too well. “Mama’s been crying in the kitchen / Sister’s been scared of the dark / I’ve been gathering the pieces of all these shattered hearts” represents Gregor’s family situation in the wake of his father’s disappearance all too well. In this chapter, Gregor finds out his dad is alive but held captive, and the chorus “Daddy, can you hear the devil drawing near? / Like a bullet from a gun, run, Daddy, run” fit the situation well for me.

11 - Baba O’Riley by The Who - Another chapter I was stumped by, but I ended up focusing on Gregor choosing to bring Boots on the journey for this track. I liked the line “don’t cry, don’t raise your eyes” for the idea of bringing a toddler on a deadly trek. This song depicts hope in a period of war, and I feel like this is the chapter where Gregor really begins to believe finding his dad is possible.

12 - Yellow Light by Of Monsters and Men - This is a good TUC song, through and through. I chose it for this chapter because of the line “Ignore all those big warning signs,” because this chapter has a lot of those. This is the first time we get a hint of Solovet’s true character, and it’s also the chapter where an inconsolable Nerissa foretells Henry will meet some fate worse than death.

13 - Electric Co. by U2 - U2 is my favorite band, so you’ll get a lot of them in these playlists. Sorry that I have the music taste of a 50-year-old man. Anyways, this chapter is where Luxa and Henry dare Gregor to jump off the side of the cliff, and also the chapter where Gregor learns Henry’s parents were killed by rats. “Boy, stupid boy / Don’t sit at the table / until you’re able to” reminded me of Gregor’s inability to hang with Luxa and Henry, but the whole song, which is about this young man careening out of control, reminded me of Henry.

14 - Cut the World by Anohni - This is the chapter where the questers have a discussion on whether or not weak individuals are worthy of protection, and Luxa is extremely passive on the topic. This is a beautiful song I almost saved for Marks of Secret because I think it’s a good song for her, and MoS is really her book in my eyes, but I decided to use it here. “For so long I’ve obeyed / That feminine decree / I’ve always contained / Your desire to hurt me / But when will I turn and cut the world” are good lyrics for Luxa, who is unwilling to take a stand here (but eventually does “cut the world” on behalf of those who can’t defend themselves in the fourth book, as we know). But I also like the song for the crawlers, who take abuse from every other species — Temp and Tick can hear this whole conversation about whether or not they’re worthy of living! — and survive regardless.

15 - Road Drum by Mozart Gabriel - This song has a strong beat, but it’s still pretty quiet, which I liked for the ring dance the crawlers perform. The song’s lyrics depict aid from spiders and foxes that the protagonist receives as they run from evil, and I liked the way that matched with Gregor splitting off from the group and running away from the battle with the gnawers and ultimately ends up in a spinner’s web.

16 - Roslyn by Bon Iver and St. Vincent - Song selected mostly for vibes, and also because I like the line “Wings wouldn’t help you down,” which is a little nose since Gregor’s imprisoned dozens of feet off the ground. This song’s kind of a bummer, which is a good enough fit since Gregor’s trapped wondering if all of his friends are dead and if he’ll ever be able to find his father, but it also has a pretty melody, hopefully a little similar to the sort of lullaby the spinners play to calm down Boots.

17 - Acrobat by U2 - Another Luxa song that I almost saved for Marks of Secret. It’s a little too on the nose, maybe, because this is the chapter where Luxa and Aurora the Coiler to allow everyone to escape. “And I must be an acrobat / To talk like this and act like that” fits Luxa well at this point in her character arc — a bratty 11-year-old who seems haughty and cold, only to have these moments where her brave, selfless core is revealed.

18 - We’re Going to be Friends by The White Stripes - this is a gentle song for a relatively gentle chapter, a sort of breath of fresh air. Gregor saving Luxa with root beer (and then letting her try it after) is a turning point in their relationship, and Boots pouring out a little for everyone to try is one of the most harmonious moments we get in the whole book.

19 - The House of the Rising Sun as performed by The Animals - “Oh mothers, tell your children / Not to do what I have done.” I love this song for Ripred. I love the way it sounds, and I love its lyrical content. Obviously, he’s not a man destitute in New Orleans, but he is certainly a cynical old rat who recognizes all the ways he’s gone wrong. In terms of regrets, it’s also a good song for Vikus, who is staring down his own mistakes in this chapter.

20 - Sympathy by Vampire Weekend - Ah, the mutual need song. Also the Gregor-Luxa-Ripred triumvirate song. “Enemies for centuries / Until there was a third” is pretty good for them, right? This is sort of a tongue-in-cheek piece about what we’re willing to do, and what we’re willing to look past, so long as we have a common enemy, so I think it’s perfect for Gregor and Ripred’s famous conversation, and also for the spiders joining the quest now that their backs are to the wall.

21 - Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls - This chapter was so tough for me. We got Gox drinking Treflex, we got Luxa talking about how she tells herself she’s gonna die every morning and Gregor realizing that’s not too different from what he does, we got a more in-depth description of bonding, and somehow I ended up with Iris, which I know has become kinda tacky. I thought a song about wanting someone to really understand you was fitting for a chapter about bonds, but also fitting for Luxa talking about how her parents’ death affected her.

22 - Little Dark Age by MGMT - Not really much to explain here. Every character is miserable in this chapter, and something about this song reminds me of Henry’s increasingly concerning behavior. “Forgiving who you are for what you stand to gain?” Sounds Henry-ish!

23 - 500 Miles by Peter, Paul and Mary - Tick’s death is a point of no return for Gregor in this whole series, the first major loss he experiences. Even beyond the grief of losing Tick, the situation in this chapter is so desolate, with Boots sick and all of the horrible things Gregor has witnessed finally catching up with him. “500 Miles” is about homesickness, but also recognizing that you can’t return, and the saddest line to me is “Lord, I can’t go home this way.” Gregor can’t go home, yet, either, since he hasn’t found his father.

24 - Until The End of the World by U2 - If you listen to any song here, PLEASE listen to this one. I made this whole series of playlists just to work this one in. It tells the story of Judas and Jesus, from Judas’ point of view, which is so, so perfect for Henry and his relationship with Ares and Luxa. I love the way this song sounds — I can just imagine those opening notes when Gregor decides what he’s going to do — but my favorite part is the outro. This technically happens in the next chapter, but “Waves of regret and waves of joy / I reached out for the one I tried to destroy / You / You said you’d wait until the end of the world” is such a perfect thing for Henry’s demise because of Ares’ decision to break the bond.

25 - King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men - “And as the world comes to an end / I’ll be there to hold your hand / Because you’re my king and I’m your lionheart” makes me cryyyyyy for Gregor and his dad in this chapter. Gregor’s been so brave for so long, and the reunion they have when his father finally becomes lucid again is the best moment in the book, even though scores of rats are waiting to tear them apart.

26 - Drowning Man by U2 - Another chapter, another U2 song, this one for Gregor bonding with Ares. The whole song is a good bonding song, but the lyrics “Take my hand / You know I’ll be there if you can / I’ll cross the skies for your love” remind me the most of their particular situation, down to Gregor begging Ares to recite the verse back.

27 - A Sort of Homecoming by U2 - Perhaps Prophecy of Bane will have less U2 songs. Good Lord. Anyways, I chose this song for “Oh don’t sorrow, no, don’t weep / For tonight, at last, I am coming home / I am coming home” and the whole “you’re scarred for life but at least you’ve made it home” vibe of this song as Gregor, his dad and Boots finally make it back to Grace.

[aksbe]

Oh you know that scene where ava falls and practically dies in front of bea in 5th ep? Did you notice that the song playing in the backround while beatrice holds ava is literally called:

and oh boy do i have a theory to why its their theme, so pull up spotify, youtube, apple music, your local singing bird choir, whatever and listen to this song on loop if you wanna know what im babbling about.

So why is it their theme?

The song starts off sounding so unsure, like its so new to both of them, its carefull, slow and so soft as if something would break if it was too loud or fast and in a way thats perfect for them. Their start was slow and their love was something new to both of them. Theres even these small notes mixed in the start which could symbolise the small moments those sparks that started it all.

If their relationship would have happened any faster i dont think it would have been the same, because yes, they're made for each other, but it just woudnt have worked out. The slow burn was what was needed for both of their character developments. Without that pining, without that jelousy or those moments and looks i dont think bea would have ever left the ocs later, because it could have easialy be swept under the rug as "just a fling, small temptation, nothing else". But with the slow burn its more like... she feels the love and she feels happy and it dosent bring her any pain untill she lost ava.

And for ava it was another new thing. So far ava has rushed trough new things, new experiences, enjoyed the moments and moved on. Like take JC, she rushed in and trough that relationship so fast, but ultimately we dont ever hear her mention him much after. It was just another new shiny thing she hadnt gotten to experience before. But now, with this build up, her slowing down, she starts to apprechiate the small things she now has, the small important moments with beatrice. Like when they danced in the club and the moment where she just looked at bea, really looked and i bet nothing else mattered for her in that moment.

In the second half of the song theres this build up which is like how their love was so slowly and delicately built moment upon moment and emotions upon emotions and ultimately at the end of the build up with the last high notes its their high point, every small building block being down, all those months of experiences just everything coming togheter and then one of the most purest forms of affection. A simple, beautiful kiss.

And the way the song fades out in the end... Their time being cut short. Their love tossed in the air, left to the wind because ava is gone(for now) and bea is left behind. But the sound lingers for so long that i cant help but believe theres still hope for both of them, and i think they believe the same.

Extra thoughts

Honestly i cant decide which came first in this case, was the piece written for that scene and later made the theme song or was it first their theme song...

See this song fits so well in that scene. Which makes me believe that it was first written for it. Like the fear at start and then bea feeling the pulse and thinking ava is dead, and comforting and asking her not to be dead, and then her being okay and alright and ending on the high point of "they cant beat us bea, not togheter." Which is such an important line!

Maybe they wrote it for that scene and realized how well it symbolised their relationship too.

Cant lie about the fact how sad sounding it is either. Which makes sense for the scene but also maybe a tiny bit for their relationship.

Its always been known how warrior nuns dont live long, the line where camila says "theyre never yours, they never last" perfectly shows the looming saddness and eventual ending to their arc in this season. How their love was, is and will be under the threat because any moment any one of them could die and the other would be left alone.

Of course these are all just my thoughts, and if you have different ones i happily welcome them in the comments, dms or even asks. <3

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Scrapbook: Epilogue

Title: Your Eyes Look Like Coming Home (Epilogue) 

Rating: Mature, 18+, Minors - DNI 

Pairing: Mike x Black!OFC (Dimples) 

Fandom: Hellraiser: Hellworld 

Word Count: 1.8K 

Summary: A collection of moments with Mike and Daisy (Dimples) and their daughter Aisha (Honey). 

Chapter Summary: When Honey turns 2, Mike and Dimples have to make an announcement. When Mike turns 25, Dimples gifts him something special. 

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff 

A/N: This is the end of the road, folks. Thank you to everyone who stuck around for this little story. I hope you enjoy! Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best.  

Dividers by Me 

Support/Reblog banner by Me

Cover Art by Me 

Spotify Playlist is here.

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

One Year Later 

“Happy Birthday to you!” Everyone is gathered around Honey while she sits in her highchair with a tiny cake all to herself, made by Auntie Erika. She waits until everyone is done singing before she blows out her two candles. She claps along with everyone else when they cheer for her. Digging into the cake with her hands, Mike and Dimples have their cameras out taking photos of their daughter. 

After everyone has their cake and Honey opens all her gifts, the party starts to die down a little. Cherie takes Honey inside to play with her toys and the grownups sit outside in the backyard. While Dimples and the ladies are busy getting all the trash together, Mike sits with his grandpa Gus, his father, and his uncle. 

“So, when are you two gonna tell us about the baby?” Gus starts, nursing a beer like he hadn’t just put Mike on the spot. 

“Tell you about what baby?” Mike asks, unconvincingly. 

“Walter, look at that girl. Tell me that isn’t the tell-tale sign of a bump.” Gus nudges Mike’s elbow while Mike looks to his dad for help. 

“Gus, leave the boy alone. If they’re not ready to announce it, they’re not ready. Simple as that.” Walter shrugs and pats Mike’s knee. 

“It’s gonna be a boy.” Sy offers, and Mike’s eyes widen. 

The other three men look at Sy in disbelief, wondering how he could possibly know the sex of a baby that wasn’t even confirmed yet. 

“Well, her skin is still clear. And it looks like she’s carrying low. When she was pregnant with Honey, she carried high and had acne. Just like Nettie did with Cherie. I mean, it could be an old wives’ tale. But it still came true twice, so...” Sy trails off and laughs with the older men while Mike nods and laughs to himself. 

When he looks up, Dimples is walking over and pulling him away from everyone. 

“They know. Nettie and Hope know I’m pregnant and I didn’t have to tell them at all.” Dimples almost shrieks when she tells Mike that their happy announcement is kind of ruined. 

“Yeah, Grandpa Gus and Dad and Uncle Sy pointed it out as well. Oh, and Sy says we’ll have a boy which is exciting.” Mike tries to lighten the mood and Dimples chuckles despite herself. 

Honey comes running out of the house behind them holding her favorite pink triceratops. She runs into Mike’s legs and raises her arms up. “Daddy up pwease?” Cherie comes out of the house shortly after, going to sit between Sy and Nettie. 

“Come here, Honey,” Mike picks her up and gives her a bunch of kisses on her face and Honey bursts into a fit of giggles. Mike holds Honey and grabs Dimples’ hand and walks over to where the other adults are sitting. 

“Daddy? When baby coming?” Mike and Dimples look at each other and realize there is no point in hiding it anymore. 

“Seems like everybody already knows, but just to make it official, Dimples just made it through her first trimester a couple of days ago with our second baby.” Mike kisses Dimples’ temple and pulls her close. 

“I’m very emotional right now. So, please don’t take my crying for being upset. I’m actually really happy, I promise.” Dimples wipes at her eyes and the group of adults laugh and stand up giving hugs all around. 

Grandpa Gus watches as his family grows larger by the minute. 

Six Months Later 

Henry “Bubba” Marshall is born at 9 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long. Mike is so proud of himself that he didn’t faint at all during this pregnancy. He cut the umbilical cord and is surprised at how big this baby is. When the doctor laid him on Dimples’ chest, it is a miracle she could hold him. 

Mike and Dimples name Evan and Hope as godparents for Bubba. Grandpa Gus makes his way past the rest of the family so he can see his great-grandson. When he finally sits down and is handed Bubba, he chokes up. A few silent tears fall, and he laughs a bit to himself. 

“Grandpa Gus, you okay?” Mike asks from his perch on the side of Dimples’ hospital bed. 

“I just can’t believe how handsome he is. Just like his father, his father before him, and me of course. I guess he had no choice but to be a looker,” Gus chuckles and looks down as Bubba yawns and shifts in his arms, “Also, this boy is big as hell. He is gonna eat you out of house and home. Good luck with that.” 

“Gus, don’t scare them,” Walter walks over and pats Mike’s shoulder before leaning in to whisper, “But you know he’s not gonna fit any of that newborn clothing you got for him, right?” 

Mike and Dimples look at each other and can’t help but laugh at their little predicament. 

Another Six Months Later 

At Honey’s 3rd birthday party, Bubba crawls around the party. And boy, is he fast! He keeps not only Mike and Dimples on their toes. But he also keeps his big sister busy trying to keep her toys out of his mouth. 

“Bubba, no! Don’t eat Pinky!” Honey takes her pink triceratops out of her brother’s hands and replaces it with one of his Little Peoples toys. 

When Mike and Dimples catch up to where the two kids have gotten to, they are out of breath. Honey can only laugh which makes Bubba laugh. And the chain reaction sends their parents into a giggling fit as well. 

“Daddy? Can we open presents now?” Honey asks, trying to wrangle her brother into staying in one place. 

“I think that is a perfect idea, Honey.” Mike picks up Honey while Dimples picks up Bubba and they make their way over to the oversized present pile.  

Bubba tries his best to help open gifts but ends up playing with the wrapping paper and the boxes that Honey’s toys come in. Nothing makes Bubba happier than making his big sister laugh and Honey loves to play with her little brother. She treats him like her own personal baby doll, and he adores her for it. 

After the party dies down and the backyard is cleaned up, Mike decides to take a nap on the couch. Honey and Bubba were playing in the living room but when they see Daddy laying down, they decide to crawl on top of him. At first, they try to wake him up but when that doesn’t work, they just get comfy and go to sleep as well. 

Dimples comes into the living room when she notices it’s oddly quiet. The sight she happens upon makes her swoon. Mike is sprawled out on the couch; Honey is laying on her back across his chest while Bubba is wrapped around Mike’s thigh. Their soft snores are filling the room and it’s the cutest thing Dimples has ever seen. 

She takes out her phone to capture the moment and another idea pops into her head for what to do for Mike’s birthday gift. Putting her phone away, she pries Bubba from around Mike’s thigh and gently wakes Mike so he can put Honey to bed as well. Mike and Dimples go to bed, and they are both so tired that they just cuddle up to one another and are asleep within moments. 

A Few Months Later 

Getting Mike out of the house for most of the day is the trickiest part of Dimples’ plan. She gets Walter and Sy to take him to lunch and a movie. When he comes back home, the house is too quiet and too dark, so he goes into the backyard to look for his family. 

He is genuinely shocked when everyone jumps out and shouts “Happy Birthday!” Dimples runs up to him with the kids following her. He hugs and kisses all of them, so happy to see that they (mostly Dimples) planned a surprise party for him.  

Mike makes his way around the guests at the party and thanks them for coming. Looking around the backyard, he notices that photos are lining the fence around the yard. Moving closer to one photo, he smiles to himself and wonders how Dimples got this one. 

“I hope you don’t mind I took that one from your phone. It’s one of my favorites,” Dimples is at his side, looking at the photo that Mike took of the day Honey was born and they were still in the hospital room. It was the day they became a family, “If you like that one, you’re gonna love your gift.” 

Mike just looks at her and smiles, feeling so lucky to have her as his spouse. Dimples grabs his hand and brings him over to the present pile. She hands him a large box and wishes him a happy birthday once again.  

Taking the box, he sits down to open it. Inside the box is a beautiful leather-bound book. Mike opens it and is surprised to see photos of himself. The photos include moments of his childhood, of his and Dimples’ wedding, and over the years with the kids. With every page he turns, he is transported to different moments of his life. The last page that is decorated has a large photo from Honey’s 3rd birthday with Mike asleep on the couch with the kids asleep on him. 

“I really hope you like this scrapbook baby. I figure we can keep adding memories to it with photos or paintings from Honey and Bubba. So, do you like it?” Dimples asks, her sweet face showing her hopeful expression. 

“I love it, Dimples. I love you so much. This is such a great gift! I can’t believe you got all these memories together. Thank you, baby.” Mike hugs her and kisses her neck. 

“You are very welcome, Mikey. I love you too. Now, I suggest we do cake soon, the kids will have their sugar crash then you can see the other gift I got you for your birthday.” Dimples wraps her arms around his neck and waggles her eyebrows. 

“Would this gift happen to be on the sexy side of things?” Mike looks around before grabbing a handful of Dimples’ backside. 

“Oh, my goodness, Mike! You'll find out later. Now, enjoy your party and be patient and you’ll be rewarded handsomely.” Dimples pecks his lips and walks away to wrangle up everyone for cake. 

Mike watches her walk away to get the kids where they are hanging off Grandpa Gus. Looking around, he is surrounded by everyone he loves. He is so lucky to have a wonderful wife, adorable kids, and a loving extended family. He smiles to himself and realizes he won’t have much to wish for when he blows out his candles.  

And that’s not a bad problem to have. 

A/N: Now, does this make up for Make That Kitty Purr? Can I write other Mike stories now? The song for this chapter is Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift (feat. Ed Sheeran).  

**Tag List** 

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Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😀 

[melhekhelmurkun]

I love love love love the music of Star Wars. I know I’ve said this before (mainly with specific songs) but holy shit I adore it I really do. I could spend literal hours talking about it.

I love how perfectly each character’s theme fits them, I love how every scene has exactly what music it needs to set the tone, I love the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) motifs that call back to all sorts of different stories. There’s a quick analysis under the cut if anyone’s interested 👉👈🥺

I love how Vader’s theme (aka the Imperial March) is slow and steady and intense, it feels confident and powerful just like the character. Vader knows who he is, he knows what he’s capable of and what his job is, he knows what he has to do to get that job done, and he’s more than willing to do said things. In contrast, Kylo’s theme (Kylo Ren Arrives at the Battle) is sort of all over the place. You can’t really tell what it’s going to do next - one second it’s fast and quiet, the next it’s slow and very loud; it’s intense in a totally different way. I think that fits his character very well too (he doesn’t have the confidence and surety in his role that Vader had, so his music is a mix of calmer moments that suddenly become very harsh). I also love the very subtle motifs in Ren’s theme that actually seem to reference the Imperial March (there are a few points where the notes seem to follow the same format of the lead-up, only to dip off into something else. This happens particularly at the beginning of the song)

Then there’s Anakin and Padme’s love theme (Across the Stars), which I have already waxed poetic about so many times. I think it perfectly encompasses their relationship (at least at the start) - the song feels very hopeful and peaceful, but also very naive. I don’t know how to explain that lol it just feels like that to me. It’s quick but even, with mainly light strings and few intense sections. There’s a point towards the middle of the song (2:07 ish on Spotify) where it gets a little melancholy before then switching to a more brassy style, and it feels to me like that’s the realization that the war will interfere with their pictured life, but then it goes back into the strings (with the brass in the back) and that feels like they’re trying to push through and ignore the war’s effect. And it gets a little more melancholy and intense towards the end, before switching to what sounds like a harp (don’t quote me on that?) and my personal headcanon is that harps are a big thing on Naboo :) idk that part specifically feels very important since it’s different from the rest of the song.

And don’t get me started on Jyn Erso & Hope Suite holy shiiiiiit I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG!!!!! I will die on the hill that Rogue One had THE best music in the whole of Star Wars. Hope Suite really manages to encompass the feelings of hope that are simultaneously uplifting and terrifying. It makes my chest go all hdhdhdhshs. It’s delicate while also managing to be very powerful and emotional, and the strength of the melody feels perfect for Jyn’s character. Listening to this, it (obviously) feels very hopeful and eager, but there’s that sort of soft and sweet undertone that makes you wonder if everything will work out the way you want it to. There’s some ominous notes towards the end, where it all slows down and it feels like you’re standing on the edge of something, and then the ending notes trail off. Absolutely crazy. One of my favorite songs fr.

Idk sorry for the rant, I’ve been thinking about this all day and needed to get it out SOMEWHERE bc otherwise it was gonna bounce around in my head and drive me insane

[writinglittlemagics]

Will Wood Analysis for @hearts4pearlescentmoon

New Critical Analysis of “In Case I Make It”

The album “In Case I Make It” by the artist Will Wood covers many topics and fears. The songs “Becoming the Lastnames” (Wood) and “Um, It’s Kind of a Lot” (Wood) are both about the speaker’s fear of love and, more specifically, the vulnerability of being loved. In “Um, It’s Kind of a Lot,” the speaker spends the first verse detailing their several fears, such as “dying of cancer” and “windows and airplanes,” (Verse 1) before stating that they have never been afraid of heartbreak. The speaker juxtaposes this blase approach in the next verse, where the speaker starts admitting their relevant fears: commitment, abandonment, inadequacy. The line “I’m afraid of four-letter words, like ‘love,’ ‘for,’ and ‘ever’” (Line 21) puts it plainly; the speaker fears the commitment that comes with love and how vulnerable they would be if the intended listener left. The repeating line of the chorus reinforces this: “I love you so much it scares me half to death, The other half I guess I’m giving to you” (Chorus).

In response to this fear, the speaker tries to force the listener away, to spare themselves the vulnerability, demonstrated primarily in the song’s bridge. The speaker points out their flaws ironically, with lines like “Sorry, darling, please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize” (Line 39) and “Coddling my narcissism, M.A.D., come ride my A-bomb” (Line 40). These lines use irony to act impassively about blaring red flags in a partner. We see how successful the speaker is in scaring off the potential love interest with the final line, spoken by a separate voice after the final chorus: “Uhh, I mean, it’s kind of a lot…”.

In “Becoming the Lastnames,” the speaker expands on the vulnerability of being loved. The speaker first creates a paradox in the song by oscillating between talking about their previous exploits and wrongdoings and their dreams of a simple, traditional life, exemplified in the line, “But I have laid a lot of women, and now I’d like to just lay down.” (Line 16) The opening line, “Don’t take the following words as reverence for tradition,” (Line 1) starts the paradox because the speaker spends the rest of the verse idealizing a traditional nuclear family, in which the speaker is the breadwinner and their partner is a homemaker. This back-and-forth in the text makes the speaker’s real hopes muddled and hard to discern.

In the song’s second half, the speaker explains why they are struggling with these two ideas and resolves the paradox. The speaker states, “So tongue out of my cheek now, I’m done pulling faces. Iconoclasm wanes, my cynicism tires,” (Line 21) and reveals the fears that were stopping them from committing to the simple life mentioned earlier. The speaker is afraid of being vulnerable because they are afraid of being treated the way they treated people in their past. The speaker’s misspent youth has convinced them they deserve to be treated poorly, like karmic justice. The line, “I’d have forgotten all their names, so why should you remember me?” (Line 34) sums up their fears. They leave the song with a return to the paradox from before, “But if we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone? That is, assuming that I die first (which is fair) and assuming I don’t leave,” (Line 35) indicating that the issue is unresolved, and the fears are still present. (568 Words)

Work Cited

Wood, Will. “Becoming the Lastnames.” “In Case I Make It”, Will Wood, 2022, track 2. Spotify, play.spotify.com/track/3xbConumZq7Mx3pB5DS1PQ?si=db8ec5c374194d03

Wood, Will. “Um, it’s Kind of a Lot” “In Case I Make It”, Will Wood, 2022, track 7. Spotify, https://open.spotify.com/track/1Ywey38KvLhrz1X50j7AMf?si=49566fa2100341d2

[banamine-bananime]

Agent Ohio ❌ Sherry fanmix

Spotify link

this bitch LONG because i am. so obsessed. there is no hope for me. only toxic yuri that has the possibility to become the kind of love that instead transforms a toxic situation into something beautiful. join me.

I Swallowed Shampoo / Soupy Garbage Juice

I can't even explain it's just the exact vibes of Overwhelming Stupidity mixed with Overwhelming Dread and Certainty Death Is Coming

Why Am I in This Room / Soupy Garbage Juice

as above, but with the Overwhelming Stupidity mixed with the Overwhelming Existential Ennui when faced with rotting away in insignificance without any purpose, because it has been decided that your life is so worthless and pointless that's all there is for you, and that decision being made made itself true, simply because a Powerful Man had an "eject bozos" button

Community Gardens / The Scary Jokes

Full disclosure/I am a monster, a creature of despair/Not that that should be a cause for concern/If there's one thing I've learned in all my years here/It's that despair is less abundant in those who understand/How to plant their hearts in community gardens .... The years have been hard on this lonely heart/If you wanna know the truth/There's no more community gardens/So, I guess I'll have to settle for you

seeing two possibilities in front of you: 1) growing "community gardens", both literal and metaphorical, to make the best of a bad situation - or even make it into a better situation than where you were before losing everything - with those you love and take care of each other, 2) dwelling on the despair of your situation and trying to find meaning instead in more fighting, more conflict, because that's all you have been taught can be a Purpose in life, as someone grew up in the era of total war and tried to give themself for humanity to the military. sherry can see the former as possible, but only if vera does, but is increasingly losing hope that vera ever will. vera loves sherry, but can only see the second possibility. the only way she can see herself and sherry together is secret, starcrossed Toxic Yuri TM within this narrative of conflict between the bases she's created, and so that's what she'll settle for.

Climate Crisis Love Song / Nathan Apollo

Skies are grey, grass is brown Trees are dead, they're burning down World is ending, look around I can't breathe But your eyes look me down I got nothin' I can say Yeah, you took my breath away

loving someone fiercely within a horrible, hopeless situation, and not knowing whether that love is the bright spot within it or part of that horrible situation. also, the whole thing is hilariously absurd, because there is always a really slapstick element to sherry and vera's tragedy, on account of 1) the absurdity that there is literally no reason for them to be fighting, and 2) vera is a theatre kid at heart and cannot Be The Villain without treating it like a super hammy role

Psycho / Cloudy June

You're the one that I can not take my eyes off What's it like to fall for a psycho? Need another rush to die for 20/20 Sight when the night falls Better be the one to hunt than to cry for What's it like to fall for a psycho? Need another rush to die for

being totally obsessed with each other and just as obsessed with the rush of constantly trying to kill each other as a distraction from thinking about the pointless horror of your situation

Teeth / 5 Seconds of Summer

Some days, you're the only thing I know Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold Can't look away, can't look away Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed Don't know if you love me or you want me dead

Walls Could Talk / Halsey

Told my new roommate not to let you in But you're so damn good with a bobby pin Now you gon' play me like a violin Hittin' these notes

And we both hope there's something But we bo-both keep fronting

Super Freak / Rick James

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Super freak, super freak That girl's a super freak Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

vera is indeed a super freak. they also have super freaky sex. that's all.

Fahrradsattel / Pisse

Du willst einen Ring am Finger / You want a ring on your finger Eine Gummihand in deiner / A rubber hand in yours Festgekettet und für immer / Chained and forever

Aber ich will dein Fahrradsattel sein / But I want to be your bicycles seat

vera can't see a committed, normal relationship between them as anything but a sad pipe dream, with them out here, because there's no way to find any purpose without being Enemies. she just wants to fuck real nasty.

Hey Sexy Lady / Shaggy

Hey sexy lady, I like your flow Your body's burnin', I lost control Your booty on me, ceiling to floor Only you can make me scream and beg for more

they are literally just. so embarrassing and cheesy in dramatic sexy hatefucking foreplay. think that one Hark! A Vagrant Comic

this is them all the time

Flip Flop / Yucky Duster

And your friends they kind of blow They're all jerks I don't know They're all such jerks! I don't know You don't even know what you want You don't even know what you want

sherry and vera at each other: fuck your idiots they shot my idiots

What If Things Get Worse / Kaden MacKay

There is need to fret, though you can bet it'll get better But probably not yet or ever, so don't hold your breath Actually, hold it as long as you need 'Cause you locked your own cage, and you'll never be freed And the only thing that is approaching with speed is your death

You're gonna die! You're gonna die! You're gonna die! You're gonna die!

never forget the underlying existential dread driving every crazy thing they do. because they sure don't! BONUS level of existential dread for sherry: being acutely aware that "you locked your own cage" and things would literally be So Much Less Bad if her and these fuckers she's marooned with could just. stop trying to kill each other. l'enfer c'est les autres.

The Chain / Fleetwood Mac

And if you don't love me now (you don't love me now) You will never love me again I can still hear you saying (still hear you saying) You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)

sherry knows that whatever this relationship is, it's not love (oh, but it's so much worse than that: it is love yet they still do this to each other). but they are obsessed with each other and will never stop.

Problems / DeathbyRomy

Wonder why, when we both got problems Why won't you help me solve them? I love you, but you don't and this is how I cope

sherry, screaming into the void and banging her head against a wall: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS AND ***WHY THE FUCK*** DO I LIKE YOU

Bad Romance / Lady Gaga

You know that I want you And you know that I need you I want it bad, your bad romance

I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Criminal / Britney Spears

But mama I'm in love with a criminal And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical Mama please don't cry, I will be alright All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the guy

see above re: incredibly embarrassing chewing-the-scenery-in-role-of-villain hatefucking foreplay, and dear lord, sherry is into it even though she's extremely aware of how incredibly stupid and cringe it is, objectively. fuck her whole life

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now / The Smiths

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life Oh, why do I give valuable time To people who don't care if I live or die?

good news: vera found a purpose! bad news: it is a terrible, miserable purpose she allowed to be given to her by the people who decided she and her friends are too worthless to be allowed to live or even to bother to kill properly.

Come As You Are / Nirvana

Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up Choice is yours, don't be late

despite everything, i love you, and i will whether we choose to be enemies or friends, so the choice is yours: are we going to make our own concept of a worthwhile life and try to find happiness together, or will we live in a fun, blood-and-adrenaline-soaked rush distracting us from underlying misery?

The Killing Moon / Echo & the Bunnymen

In starlit nights, I saw you So cruelly, you kissed me Your lips, a magic world Your sky, all hung with jewels The killing moon Will come too soon

Trigger Of Love / JAWNY

Run, she got the gun She will pull the trigger on you and the trigger is of love

vera will shoot you both literally and with love for someone (her) that you are SO mad at yourself for being in love with

I Shot Cupid / Stela Cole

I shot Cupid, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bang 'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again Lo-lo-lo-love again I shot Cupid, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bang 'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again Lo-lo-lo-love again

desperately fighting that trigger of love

Worst In Me / Unlike Pluto

I saw you standing there, and I knew I'm done for, it's over, I'm through, oh Playing games from the start, oh Sinking your nails in my heart, no

You bring out the worst in me, oh

sherry, realizing that she is utterly fucked from how into this crazy asshole she is, and that she's going to keep falling into this crazyness, too

Lover Is a Day / Cuco

I'll take the bumpy road, it'll probably break my legs As long as I don't show you what's ruining my head Funny thing about you is you read me pretty well But you haven't found me yet at the bottom of the well Annoying you with smoke signals, asking you for help 'Cause your immediate presence lifts me straight away from hell

vera knows that what she's doing is fucked up and irrational, but she's in a fucked up and irrational situation and can't see any other way to be.

you stupid bitch / girl in red

You stupid bitch, can't you see The perfect one for you is me?

once again, here sherry is, banging her head against the wall and screaming about vera's intentness on making things worse

Crazy Girls / TOOPOOR

I know I can be destructive in the things I do Will hurt you, and might make you hate me But I'll still love you

You're my enemy and my remedy But if you're not gonna bleed for me, go (Go)

vera, once again, certain that hatefucking is as close to a happy ending as they get, and afraid that this isn't enough for sherry and she'll be left all alone

Fall in Love / Android52

Heaven is really not far away Why can't we fall in love for a day? I want to fall in love Baby just for the night Just for the night

vera's "starcrossed enemy-lovers who must keep their nights together secret from their teams" roleplay she's living in

Daisy / ashnikko

I'm crazy, but you like that, I bite back Daisies on your nightstand, never forget it I blossom in the moonlight, screw eyes Glacial with the blue ice, I'm terrifying

see prev note, but with more of vera hamming up her "i'm a villain now because a story needs a villain and i will not let us fade into narrative meaninglessness" role

Villain / Bella Poarch

I'll be the villain tonight I kinda like when you despise me after we fight (Feels so much better when I'm) Pushin' all your buttons 'til you're crawlin' on the floor You say you hate my guts, but you're still coming back for more

vera honestly finds method acting as ~sherry's villainous enemy~ so fucking therapeutic. freak.

dumb dumb / mazie

Disappointment takes us by surprise Even though by now I think we should have realized Everyone is dumb (dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb)

I just wanna go from here Close my eyes and disappear (disappear)

every day sherry is amazed by the depths of stupid they all reach, shooting at each other for no reason etc, and she kinda wishes hargrove had just killed them instead of going through this indignity of seeing that they're all so incompetent and stupid that they'll make their own hell. l'enfer c'est les autres indeed!!

Just Pretend / Bad Omens

I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same

they are Not Doing Okay, but they understand that about each other and they love each other no matter how much they hurt each other, so they'll keep this up as long as it takes for them to actually get together and lift each other up

Shameless / Camila Cabello

Right now, I'm shameless Screamin' my lungs out for ya Not afraid to face it I need you more than I want to Need you more than I want to Show me you're shameless Write it on my neck, why don't ya?

they fuck real nasty and real stupid and god sherry wishes she wasn't so into it

Kiss or Kill / Stela Cole

K-I-L-L-I-N-G Kiss or kill, kiss or kill Kiss or ki-ki-ki-ki Kiss or kill, kiss or kill Kiss or ki-ki-ki-ki

Mixed Messages / Tom Cardy

Mixed messages Mixed messages One second, I say you're very pretty (very pretty) And then I show up at your house and I kick your dog, yeah

Mixed messages Mixed messages I pay for the dog's veterinary bills But then I punch your dad in the dick

Now we're going to a hospital Just me, you, and your dad in the back of an ambulance And even with your dad's broken dick The air is thick with (sexual tension)

exactly this sort of stupidity and insanity and, somehow, in spite of it all, horniness

Fall / The Terrordactyls

Shoot me in the face I'll shot you in the face We'll see which one of us Can shoot the other in the most accurate place Stab me in the chest I'll stab you in the chest We'll see which one of us Can stab the other in the chest the very best

If you want to die Give me a call We'll have each other bleeding in no time at all

My Nemesis / Danny Jacob

My neme'-neme', ooh, my neme'-neme'-neme" And I feel fine 'cause I've got a nemesis My neme'-neme', ooh, my neme'-neme'-neme' My neme'-neme', ooh, my neme'-neme'-neme'

Now I hate him, and he hates me What a wonderful animosity Besides his hat, he wears no clothes Now I have someone to oppose Yes, I have a nemesis

What Is This Feeling / Wicked The Musical

What is this feeling So sudden and new?

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you

My pulse is rushing

My head is reeling

My face is flushing

What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing Unadulterated loathing

Shutup You're Stupid / That Handsome Devil

It's the middle of the night And I'm calling you crazy While you're calling me baby

I don't wanna close my eyes Cause I'm here right now Tryna memorize Every crack in your lips Cause I already miss it

You're stupid and I love you for it You're stupid and I love you for it (So dumb, literally so dumb, just like so not smart)

I Did Something Bad / Taylor Swift

They say I did something bad Then why's it feel so good? They say I did something bad But why's it feel so good? Most fun I ever had And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could It just felt so good, good

vera is living her bestworst life and insisting on keeping up the act that yes!! she is so bloodthirsty and rogueish muahahaha she totally is having so much fun!!!! not on the edge of despair at all!!!

Shoot All Your Problems Away / LilDeuceDeuce

lol. yeah sure did get passed up for that big promotion and stuck in a REAL shit job with a REAL shit boss huh. shoot each other about it.

Perfect For You / Jennifer Damiano and Adam Chanler-Berat

Our planet is poison, the oceans, the air Around and beneath and above you

The world is at war, filled with death and disease We dance on the edge of destruction The globe's getting warmer by deadly degrees And this is one fucked up seduction

I can't fix what's fucked up But one thing I know I can do I can be perfect for you

Sweet but Psycho / Ava Max

"Grab a cop gun" kinda crazy She's poison but tasty Yeah, people say, "Run, don't walk away" 'Cause she's sweet but a psycho A little bit psycho

She'll make you curse, but she a blessin' She'll rip your shirt within a second You'll be coming back, back for seconds With your plate, you just can't help it

No, no, you'll play along Let her lead you on You'll be saying, "No, no" Then saying, "Yes, yes, yes" 'Cause she messin' with your head

have i mentioned just how mad sherry is at herself for being so in love with this asshole and so into these incredibly transparently putting-on-a-show-of-being-soooo-edgy-and-vicious theatrics

Trying to Survive / Colony House

Aren't we all in the same boat? Taking on water Yeah, we're all in the same boat

Don't we all share the same space? Living and dying We all come from the same place

Tired of trying to survive Tired of fighting for my life I'm just like anybody, anywhere Navigating complicated times But I'm trying to survive Yeah, we're all trying to survive

COULD WE NOT JUST ALL GET ALONG. GOOD GOD.

The Great War / Taylor Swift

My knuckles were bruised like violets Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked Spineless in my tomb of silence Tore your banners down, took the battle underground And maybe it was ego swinging Maybe it was her Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur

good god the drama. please vera stop being such a Theatre Kid for just ten seconds

Judas / Lady Gaga

I'm just a Holy Fool, oh, baby, it's so cruel But I'm still in love with Judas, baby I'm just a Holy Fool, oh, baby, it's so cruel But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

sherry is completely aware of how stupid and manufactured the team-vs-team-and-starcrossed-lovers drama is and yet she is just as swept up in the drama of BEING IN LOVE WITH JUDAS OH WHAT A FOOL SHE IS. it just also comes with the hell of being more self-aware about it

Cry About It Later / Katy Perry

I'll cry about it later Tonight I'm havin' fun

I know tomorrow I'll be love hungover But I'm ready for a shameless summer

sherry does not respect herself the morning after most of her Bad Vera-Related Decisions but oh god are they ever fun

bad idea! / girl in red

It was a bad idea Calling you up Was such a bad idea I'm totally fucked It was a bad idea To think I could stop Was such a bad idea I can't get enough

see above!

10 Things I Hate About You / Leah Kate

Five, you're toxic Four, can't trust you Three, you still got mommy issues Two years of your bullshit I can't undo One, I hate the fact that you made me love you

Nobody / Mitski

And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me Guess I'm a coward I just want to feel alright

And I know no one will save me I just need someone to kiss Give me one good honest kiss And I'll be alright

at their most vulnerable core, they're just sad and desperately want the comfort of straightforward, healthy love, or physical connection if they can't have that, that most basic need of human connection in this isolated wasteland

I'm Your Villain / Franz Ferdinand

You toss in a word And I'm your villain I see the passion emerge And I'm your villain

I know what I am And I'm your villain Oh no, I don't give a damn If I'm your villain

Combat Baby / Metric

Combat baby, come back baby Fight off the lethargy Don't go quietly Combat baby Said you would never give up easy Combat baby, come back

vera will not go quietly into irrelevancy, worthlessness, meaninglessness. she will claw back meaning to her life with combat. and that's her love language with her baby <3

Is This Danger / Bombadil

Is this danger? Is this true love? Is this something I can hope to know?

Is this a basket? Is this my own life? Is this container to never use?

Is this sadness? Is this past us? Is this a moment we did not choose?

I've been holding back on loving you I've been holding back, I've been holding back

vera in a moment of reflection and allowing herself to hope that maybe, perhaps, they could have something better

You Don't Understand Me / The Raconteurs

You don't understand me. But if the feeling was right you might Comprehend me. And I don't claim to understand you. (Oh...) But I've been looking around And I haven't found anybody like you.

And there's always another point of view, A better way to do the things we do. And how can you know me and I know you If nothing is true?

vera, again reflecting. she knows that sherry doesn't understand why she's so intent on making up this conflict for a Purpose, but she's always felt that it's her only choice to survive and cope, to cling to the military way of life and view of herself as A Soldier. now, she wonders if she can accept that the people who told her that combat was what she was good for also told her she was good for absolutely nothing, and if she can give up clinging to that "point of view" and "way to do the things we do"

You Think You're Tough / Hunx and His Punx

Oh god, what have I done?/Oh no, what have I become?/Am I in love?/Oh shit, I hate myself for falling for someone who's tough/I swear I hated you, thought you were gross, now I'm the fool/You were my nemesis, never thought we could coexist/Am I in love? Am I in love?/Am I in love? Am I in love?/Am I in love with someone who thinks they're tough?

spoiler they fell in love concurrently to becoming "enemies". there is no time they thought they hated the other without also loving her... but vera does love pretending to live in her bitter-enemies-to-lovers roleplay with sherry sometimes

The Jail That Sets You Free / Asaf Avidan

Honey, come with me, it's just you and me Baby, believe it's as simple as can be I will be the jail that sets you free - I will be the jail that sets you free

I'm shuffling underneath my pillow for the bed-crumbs of my mind It's hard to look there for a future, when I left it all behind Please don't condescend and say you've heard this one before I'm hard to please sometimes - I'm hard to please sometimes

their life together, marooned together, could be the jail that sets each other free. vera starts to believe in this, she wants to believe in this, but it's just so hard for her to let go of the past, of everything she worked for to get to where she was before she left it behind, before she was left behind. she knows she's hard to love and hard to please and she's sorry. just please don't pretend you understand exactly what she feels, sherry.

Your Stupid Face / Kaden MacKay

What are you doing here? I didn't run away! It was... it was a strategic retreat What is there to talk about? It's over—I ruined it Well, yeah of course I'm sorry, but No, no, don't forgive me! Why do you do that? Why—why give me another chance to mess things up? Because you—what? Those three little words Out of the blue Completely uncalled for Especially from you

Don't you dare leave our problems and pain on the shelf! Because if you don't hate me, I can't hate myself But that's why I need you You shatter my fear 'Cause despite my misdeed, you are still right here Though it's stupid to date me You're willing to try And if you don't hate me, then why should I? Are you sure you don't want to give up on me? You're a moron

Bet / Rio Romeo

I'll bet on you sweetheart Like a game of cards And if I lose my hand I'm sure it's worth the charge To love and to loss Is worth the cost So I'm wagering forever just to be in your arms

I'm playing with fire In the sense I feel warm And I swear to fucking God I'll weather the storms

trying to make something better together and letting go of everything they cling to from the past is scary but it's worth it

[autisticempathydaemon]

I hope you're still doing these aaaaaa! What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Aqua Regia by Sleep Token! Specifically the lyrics "my love is an animal call/cutting through the darkness, bouncing off the walls/between teeth on a broken jaw/following a bloodtrail, frothing at the maw" there is just something so VISCERAL about them it really scratches my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Enneagram Type 4 (I can't remember the wing, but I think it's 4w5 aaaaa)

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend This probably does NOT count, I didn't really have an imaginary friend, but this question just reminded me that I used to be OBSESSED with the movie Labyrinth and used to pretend to be Sarah a LOT

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I'm more of a fan of short-form science-y or educational videos, but does a 30 minute one count? I really love the a video essay on Ocarina of Time called "OOT - A Masterclass in Subtext"

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? ASMR for sure (I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have fallen asleep in silence over the last year and a half), but I also really like doing nonogram puzzles before bed - I've conditioned myself to get sleepy when I do them 😅

What is your favourite of Redacted’s audios, and why? I can probably fully recite "A Talk With One of Your Devious Owners" at this point - Not only is the really steady monotone tone of this one super relaxing to me, but I really like James as a character with complex and warring emotions. The cat/mouse vibe that this one introduced is very fun, and I love the way he slyly reveals all of the asset's own cards to them.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? I am so sorry to say it, but Caelum does not spark joy 😭 I think he is very sweet, and I love him as a character, but I have a hard time listening to those ones.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Oh god, suddenly I've forgotten every movie or TV show I've ever seen in my LIFE. I would say I could recite a good chunk of Elton John's biopic, Rocketman, BUT ALSO I watched Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (the one from 1971) a few days ago and was UNSETTLED by how easily I could recite that one line-by-line.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? I would die to be friends with Huxley. I think he would be SO easy to be around and just be yourself with. He also seems like the type of friend to listen to you actively while somebody talks over you or circle back to what you said when nobody heard you. Plus I just know one of his hugs would fix me.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? mine is also space! I could talk for ages about space. I also have a tendency to get a second wind when I get into bed and I get rambly about whichever latest musical or fandom I'm obsessed with.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. It has been a MINUTE since I've done this but my favourite gas station snacks were always a bag of salt & vinegar kettle chips + a bottle of Arizona iced tea.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. I can't tell if this refers to Redacted Playlists or Music, so I'll answer both: I have a Spotify playlist of songs I associate with Geordi, and no matter WHAT mood I'm in, they ALWAYS hit. They are mainly about love and self-image but even the sad ones don't make me feel super sad, just kinda relaxed and seen, I guess? I relate to Geordi a lot. For Redacted playlists, Sadism's Hold is ALWAYS going to be a winner for me. I have thought about Ivan's arc probably more consecutive hours than any other character.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? Definitely ASMR/Boyfriend RP type content. I've been getting more comfortable wearing merch out in the real world and I usually find it easier to just refer to it as "a podcast I'm into" 😅

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! My favourite colour is yellow, I love thunderstorms (the more thunder/lightning) the better, and I want to absolutely eat my hands when media makes a reference to Icarus or Cannibalism as a love language.

Hmmm… interesting. You are a very interesting person who gave me a lot of interesting information to work with, and I like you a lot. You know who else would like you? Ollie.

The Free Spirit is such a fun type, because it’s all in the name; you’re so unique and alive and all over the place in the best way. Just like he did his Coworker, Ollie would so admire you, would be so in awe that someone as vibrant as you is with him. Yet, he is so good for you. You relating to Geordi makes me think you could use someone steadfast, cheerful, and unwaveringly loyal, and Ollie would definitely be that for you.

You would have such a fun, cozy home, you, Ollie, and Cattywumpus. You love space, he loves Star Trek; I bet he loves watching episodes with you and hearing your passionate diatribes on the stars and sci-fi technology. I could also see you helping him become a musical fan, since he’s such a geek in general; I think he’d really enjoy them. I also love to imagine y’all winding down for bed and him just watching you and your puzzles, confused and awestruck and adoring. (Lord knows I am awestruck; I googled nonograms, and I literally couldn’t figure out what you’re supposed to do after three webpages.)

Song:

"What's easy is right", my mother's advice/ You are the reason I never think twice/ Wherever we go, what glitters is gold/ You'll be my best friend until we grow old/ I had a nightmare (oh)/ But now that I'm not scared

Though I don’t necessarily agree with that mother's advice, I do think it fits since it would be so easy for y’all. I think his easygoing, affable nature along with your shared interests means you’ll not just be a good couple but great friends, and that’s the ticket to a comfy, loving home and life with your cat.

Runner-Ups:

Your love for science and space makes Anton a fun choice for one of your runner-ups; I think he’d have the most fun listening to you infodump in addition to having engineering experience to contribute. Vega is a runner-up based solely on what you said about cannibalism as a love language, because I spend a lot of time around @gingerbreadmonsters and could not associate that trope with anyone else.

note: thank you for waiting ☀️

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[dubsteplevi]

Okay so I've gotten a new hyperfixation of the BEAUTIFUL Broadway performance of Ride The Cyclone. I've yet to finish listening to the album however I want to talk about the opener and how it opens and the meaning cause I don't see anyone talking about it and NEEDS to be talked about cause it's so good and unlike no other I've heard. It's not happy like many other musical openers it's tragic while comedic at the same time. Into the analysis!!

Let's start with the very first song you hear when you open the playlist: Karnak's Dream Of Life: this song sets a perfect tone to what we'll be hearing and the vibe we should expect of the show itself, the first half of it starts with an organ playing music you'd expect from a funeral or some other sad event because the play starts with the children already being dead from the roller coaster accident, my guess is that it's music from the children's funeral(s) (the S being in parentheses because the children could've had their own separate funerals or one big one it's never clarified as far as I've heard) anyway then it goes into a music box kind of tune that's more hopeful and classical in a way with some sort of string instrument, if you know please tell me, this gives it Danny Elfman vibes (if you don't know who that is he is most commonly known for writing the music of Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Corpse Bride, along with many other movies). Then we here a women's voice singing saying:

"I know this dream of life is never-ending

It goes around and round and round again

You know the sun is rising while descending

It goes on and on and never ends~"

This could be possible foreshadowing (again this is a guess since I've yet to finish listening to the full show) to how the kids all had dreams but could never fulfill those dreams ("I know this dream of life is never-ending, it goes around and round and round again") to then saying that they all will never be able to fulfill those dreams, hence the metaphor of the sun rising while descending, saying that they all have hope (sun rising) but at the same time feel they can never get those dreams because of them being trapped in Uranium (the sun descending, I'll get more on that in a bit) and the last line meaning the kids feel like it'll take forever to get their dreams but they want them now

OKAY NEXT "SONG" (song in quotations because it's more of a monologue than a song) Welcome...

We get introduced to the Karnak, this is more comedic than really lore-based but worth mentioning because it makes me laugh every time because it's brutally honest in a really funny way. Seriously, if you've yet to listen to this on Spotify, do because it's worth it every time I hear it.

Now for the point of this post, the song "The Uranium Suite"

It starts with our main 5 singing about their town as a tribute. For a hot second I want to talk about how the lead sings individually, she sings very brightly. If you're not in choir this means singing like you would hear in very modern pop, that children's choir sound. This fits her character because she's very happy go-lucky, looking on the bright side and it's amazing how they showed that through this song alone. Apart from that the line of "we will never leave this town at all" is very important in this analysis.

After they do their bit the Karnak comes back, telling us that he saw how the children die, how they died, when and what time, they're dreams, etc. I saw a few clips of the show. I found that as he says this, the main 5 do some background acting of riding The Cyclone and as he talks about how they die, they do exactly as he says and show it. Like when he gets to the part of the coaster falling, the main 5 crescendo through their "ah's" and spread apart like they're falling off the ride, which story-wise is exactly what they're doing.

Then we get to my favourite part of this opener. Them singing:

"and then you're sailing through space

You don't know up from down

And you feel a little strange

The moment spinning round

And everything you loved

And everything you dreamed

And everything you feared

And everything that seems so

Oh so terrifying

It's far behind on the ground

Like I fall from this silly little itty bitty pretty hometown

Just a teeny tiny dot

On a wee blue ball

And we've all been spinning

All been spinning..."

Stopping there for a second to talk about the characters and why they sing this. Clearly it's because they're falling and their describing it. Along with that it shows that they're hopeless, desperate, and overall scared, kind of an eerie vibe to it before getting into their individual parts. Honestly I don't think there's more to that, the real part I want to talk about is when the trial song their part and the boys sing theirs. It goes like this:

"girls: empty space of empty shops

Shattered walls of mom and pops

Welcome to the Mega shopping mall (no idea if that's what they say, it's hard to hear over the guys)"

The girls sing this while the boys in the back sing "Uranium" about 4 times, each time being stretched like "uraaaaaaaaaanium" anyway this shows the children character of being hopeful and kind of more right-brained. They're looking over the town as they soar above it while falling. It shows they're character more and adds to them being more optimistic than the rest. This could also represent them all putting up a front on how much they love their town, to which as I type this I believe that's what it is. Then the guys sing this while girl switch to the uranium part:

"Boys: smart ones all packed up and went

Why stay if you can't pay the rent?

We will never leave this town at all"

This shows them all to be a little more pessimistic, only noticing the flaws of their town and how run down the town is and how they never truly liked it. The line "we will never leave this town at all" shows how they feel they will never amount to anything outside Uranium. then they go back to their front of loving the town:

"drink some brew, join the choir

Build yourself a funeral fire

Uranium our dead and dive

We'll never leave this town alive

No, we will never leave

This

Town

At

All

Genie: greeting children, it's time to play

Children: earth is sky, the sky is ground

Did we finally leave our town?"

Woo boy just a little more to unpack in that last part. The first 2 lines are that front of them loving their town before they emphasize them never leaving their town. The Karnak appears and the children meet him before they sing, "did we finally leave our town" that last line is whispered to each other and the word finally just adds to them wanting to leave otherwise the word finally wouldn't be put in. I think I've emphasized that enough

Anyways those are my thoughts on it all. It's a very wonderful way to introduce the show and very different and it's very beautiful. It's slowly becoming one of my favourite musicals lmao.