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thebibliomancer · 2 months

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #311: The WEAKEST POINT

December, 1989

Hydrobase DESTROYED!

Right from Atlantis Attacks to Acts of Vengeance?

Ugh. Marvel really was trying to shake all the quarters out of its audience in 1989. And then the trends of the 90s with special covers and new number one's galore? And then bankruptcy because the big comic companies had poisoned their own waters with that kind of behavior?

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I covered all of Atlantis Attacks because the Avengers and West Coast Avengers chapters wouldn't make any sense in isolation.

I am NOT covering all of Acts of Vengeance.

I counted 50 participating issues before I gave up! That is so much! And it's not really an overarching story so much as... like a vibe? A vague theme?

Villains attacking people they don't usually villain because some masterminds think that would give them a better chance of winning.

A flawed premise because in Marvel, the idea of a strict rogues gallery is a lot more loose. Since a huge chunk of the superhero populace operates out of New York, everybody just kinda shares.

I mean, sure, some of the match-ups that took place in Acts of Vengeance were unlikely. But they were match-ups that could have eventually happened just because Superman Doesn't Stay Out of Gotham in Marvel, if you catch my point.

As the bridge between all of Marvel, the Avengers are pretty likely to eventually fight anyone.

Anyway, I'll only be covering the Avengers and Avengers West Coast. If I try to cover everything I will die.

Also, I covered Atlantis Attacks first because Hydrobase/Avengers Island shows up in it and then (spoilers) it gets destroyed here in issue #311.

Remember how I kept saying enjoy the island while you could?

Yeah...

;_;

Look at Avengers Island in that opening splash! The runway and roads form a sorta A shape. That's just cool!

That's the coolest the island has ever looked because other aerial shots have been pretty barren or have only showed the Avengers Mansion.

Sadly, Avengers Island never really got a chance to shine. Introduced by Stern before he got unceremoniously booted by editorial meddling and barely utilized by Walter Simonson since his run barely got off the ground. John Byrne seemed like he was going to do something with it when his run started because he had the island moved closer to New York and renamed from Hydrobase to Avengers Island.

But it got hoisted out of the sea (somehow without being majorly damaged) in the Lava Men trilogy and then wasn't really important in the Gilgamesh Is Dead trilogy and now here we are where (spoilers) its going to be destroyed.

I'm jumping the gun a little bit to eulogize but it's been a recent them of the Avengers books that interesting ideas just don't get a chance before they're taken out back and shot.

Captain Monica as the chairwoman of the Avengers. The Worst Roster. Avengers Island.

There's always someone smacking the book and yelling at it to stop trying new things.

Anyway. My unending sadness aside, this is a Quasar focus issue.

I'm not really sure when he became an Avenger because he just started showing up as one when Cap announced the Every Avenger Is An Avenger roster. So either sometime in another book or he was just nearby when Cap was gathering people and got included to pad out the numbers.

(Apparently, there was a back-up story in Avengers Annual #18 set between Avengers #303 and 304 showing that Quasar got invited to join after the Super-Nova incident. Captain America and Hawkeye fight over him. It sounds like a fun story. But I read Avengers Annual #18 for Atlantis Attacks and sometimes back-up stories are omitted on Unlimited and whoops this is one of those times.)

Quasar shows up at Avengers Island after participating in another Acts of Vengeance over in his own book.

Speaking of ideas that never really got a chance to shine: the Avengers Support Crew finally show up!

With the Avengers getting a whole island as their headquarters, some noise was made in Simonson's run that they'd be hiring more of a support crew than just Jarvis. Mostly characters from Captain America's orbit.

But with Simonson leaving the book, not a lot was done with that idea. Until now! The very issue that the new, bigger headquarters they were hired to help with is going to sink!

Hahahaha ;_;

Anyway. We have Robert Frank Jr - Nuklo from Giant-Size Avengers #1. Son of the Whizzer and Miss America (not the modern one). He was cured of being excessively radioactive and got hired to be a groundskeeper on Avengers Island.

We have Peggy Carter. I don't need to explain Peggy Carter. She fought in World War II and was Cap's sometimes girlfriend. Then he started dating her niece instead. Which is a very normal thing to do, probably. She was hired to be in charge of telecommunications.

There's Fabian Stankiewicz. Good ol' Mechano-Marauder! That dingus that kept building robot suits to attack the Avengers and he was treated as a bit of a joke villain? Even getting beaten once by David Letterman. Yes, David Letterman. Cap saw potential in him anyway and hired him to maintain and improve the Avengers' technology.

There's M'Daka, a Wakandan pilot that delivered Captain America a new shield once. And apparently this made such an impression on Cap that he poached the guy from T'Challa to work for the Avengers as a mechanic.

Michael O'Brien, the former head of security for Project PEGASUS and later the Vault and was hired as head of security for the Avengers. Given the stuff that happened at Project PEGASUS and the Vault, I don't know if he's great at his job. But also the Avengers aren't great at security sometimes so its a lateral move, at worst.

Jarvis, of course, is on the payroll as butler and delightful human being. I assume he gets paid extra for being so delightful.

Keith Kincaid, husband to Jane Foster, was hired as a doctor so the Avengers wouldn't have to rely on mysterious Doctor Donald Blake just showing up whenever there's a medical emergency. And presumably to make Thor feel bad whenever he has to look at the dude that married his girlfriend because his dad made them break up.

There's also Donna Maria Puentes, a South American revolutionary that impressed Captain America with how good she was at shooting Nazi androids. So he hired her as an administrator.

Take this with a grain of salt because I'm also the person looking forward to the Avengers' 90s team jackets but I think the blue jumpsuits and red turtlenecks are a very spiffy look for the support crew.

I honestly like the idea that as a bigger, more officially recognized super-team, the Avengers would have a support staff. And since security is very hard for superheroes, it's mostly people that Captain America already knew.

This issue really goes into some depth about how Avengers Island normally operates. There's guys doing landscaping. There's guys in a security room spotting Quasar arriving and making sure the system confirms his arrival via retina pattern and fingerprints. Then they watch him as he makes his way through the Mansion towards the communication room.

When he gets there Peggy Carter tells him that she's getting reports from all over that superheroes are getting attacked by people they've never faced before.

She won't call it a plot without more evidence but she definitely is thinking the word plot very loudly.

Elsewhere, a mysterious (Loki) man in a suit sits on a throne flanked by two fancy braziers (it's Loki) spying on the Avengers' communication room with magical scrying (Acts of Vengeance plays this up as a mystery but it's Loki, you know it, I know it, and he knows it).

Definitely Loki meets with a mysterious green cloaked figure (Dr Doom, obviously) and ... Shredder from Ninja Turtles? Or maybe the Mandarin? And there's a lot of Everything Transpires How We Planned and yeah we're definitely all going to try to betray each other between them.

Definitely Doom says that he's set in motion his part of the plan.

Anyway, Peggy Carter just finishes telling Quasar that she hasn't been able to contact any of the other Avengers when Avengers Island starts to shake.

Peggy checks on the security monitor and OH NO

Dozens of robots are smashing holes in the flotation cushions that keep the not-an-island Avengers Island floating!

Since it's just Quasar and the support crew (despite the lying cover featuring Thor, Namor, She-Hulk, Sersi, and Captain America! That's a lot of lying, even by cover standards!), it's an all hands situation.

The non-superpowered people all grab laser rifles from gun lockers, Fabian gets into his latest battlesuit, and Quasar flies out and starts blasting robots.

I'm of two minds here, re: the Acts of Vengeance conceit.

The Avengers have fought Doom before. He's not showing up personally, just sending some robots. But I think it counts. So Doom attacking the Avengers with robots isn't a match-up they haven't had before.

But most of the actual Avengers are off busy somewhere. I don't think Quasar has fought Doom. So Quasar and the Avengers Support Crew versus some Doom robots that aren't Doombots is a novel match-up.

The support crew and Quasar blast the bots to pieces but the disembodied limbs keep attacking.

Rocket punch!

That ol' Doom sure knows how to build a robot.

Even as the support crew and Quasar blast bots, more continue to punch holes in Avengers Island.

MEANWHILE, SPACE.

Which is a thing you have to say when reading comics.

Starfox sneaks aboard Nebula's spaceship to find out what his supposed grandniece is up to. He pleasure zonks a guard unconscious and steals his environment suit so he can be INCOGNITO.

He finds his way to the bridge where Nebula and her Rigellian minion Gunthar are looking over the tablets they recovered from Omicron Seti, which hold in their ancient carvings A SECRET THAT DETERMINES THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE. A secret that will make her scarier than Thanos.

But she'll need Paul Harker, that random old man scientist the book has kept cutting to. The one who blew up his own basement with his new invention? That guy.

The one subplot the Avengers book has been dutifully building up.

Back at Avengers Island, the support crew is getting overwhelmed. Even Stankiewicz in his battlesuit.

BUT DAMMIT THEY WON'T GIVE UP. THEY HAVE TO PROVE THEY'RE WORTHY OF CAP'S TRUST!

Wow. Cap picked well. These guys really want to live up to what he saw in them.

Quasar sees some of the robots messing with the big Quinjet fuel storage tanks but he's able to chase them away pretty easily. Too pretty easily...

But he literally doesn't have time to worry about that.

He sends Peggy Carter to go back to the communications room and try again to contact the Avengers. Despite Peggy telling him the emergency signal has been going since the attack started.

Peggy worries that the Avengers are already dead, since she wasn't able to raise them before the attack. But she's not going to think about it!

The robots retreat but the island is already sinking.

Quasar doesn't know whether this is a trick or not but he decides to use the breathing room anyway.

He orders an evacuation and orders the support crew to try to prepare as many of the Quinjets for launch as they can reasonably save.

Then he dives into the water to check to see if Hydrobase Avengers Island can be saved.

And. No.

No, it can't.

Every one of the flotation cylinders has been ruptured and has taken on water. There's just not enough time to patch all the holes before the island completely sinks.

Quasar does create a giant brace with his green lantern-ish powers to stabilize the island.

I wonder why he doesn't make a jack to lift it completely out of the water. He's thrown an entire Terminus into space once.

For that matter, weren't giant spikes put into Avengers Island to keep it in one place? Where are those and wouldn't they help keep the island afloat?

I guess that got lost in the shuffle.

O'Brien rushes into the mansion (where the flooding is ruining all of Tony Stark's art and rugs) to look for Peggy Carter. Who you may recall was sent back into the Mansion to try to contact the Avengers despite an automated distress call going out.

Way to manufacture drama, Quasar.

Peggy insists at staying at her post, continuing to try to contact help. Like she thinks she's on the Titanic or something. But O'Brien lies and says that the Avengers are here so c'mon lets hustle.

Then the secret bomb that the robots secretly left at the fuel tanks unsecretly explodes.

Knocking Quasar for a loop and rendering his plan to stabilize the island moot.

There's just no chance of saving the island now.

But Quasar does pop out of the water to save O'Brien and Peggy and carry them to the Quinjet Jarvis is piloting.

Hi, Jarvis!

Jarvis: "I only wish we had never removed our headquarters from New York City. Then, perhaps... nothing like this... could ever have happened. The proud history of Avengers Mansion would not have ended like this..."

Jarvis, I love ya, but shut up. You sound like you're speaking from the editorial, not from the heart.

Don't forget that y'all moved to the island in the first place because the Masters of Evil basically gutted Avengers Mansion. You might as well say 'I only wish we'd moved out to sea earlier so nothing like this could ever have happened' about that.

And like I said at the beginning of this post, Avengers Island was not a mistake. It was a new direction for the book that never got a chance to shine before someone lost their nerve and forced a change back to status quo.

Because, yes, before too long, Avengers Mansion will be rebuilt back in Manhattan.

And I like Avengers Mansion. Honestly, it's my favorite HQ for the team. But I wish this era wasn't characterized with timid backtracking.

Aside from that, this is a cool issue. Seeing the civilian support staff and Quasar have to defend the base while the Avengers are absent is pretty interesting.

I disagree with the sinking of Avengers Island but it does give Acts of Vengeance some impact. Although it can't compare to the last big HQ wrecking, Avengers Under Siege.

Anyway. Quasar says he gets the feeling this whole thing isn't over. And he's right. There's two more Acts of Vengeance in Avengers and three in Avengers West Coast.

Four in Avengers Spotlight but I don't read that. It says Avengers on it but it's like Two-in-One or Marvel Team-Up but with Hawkeye.

Follow @essential-avengers. Like and reblog. Shout to the wind. Howl like nobody's watching.

#essential avengers #avengers #Acts of Vengeance #Doctor Doom's robots #Quasar #Avengers Support Crew #Robert Frank Jr #Peggy Carter #Fabian Stankiewicz #Mechano Marauder #M'Daka #Michael O'Brien #Edwin Jarvis #Keith Kincaid #Donna Maria Puentes #Starfox #Nebula #cool issue i just disagree with the plot direction

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spacedykez · 6 months

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2, 10 and 11!

2. who's POV are you watching currently, and why?

id say my main povs are pearl and scott!! i am an avid scott watcher (i would like to apologize publically for being Pretentious about him. his characters are my all time most favorite blorbos and i DO get very "no one else gets him like i do" about them) and i love pearl!! i unfortunately dont usually watch a ton of her content outside of the life series because she makes really long videos and my adhd does NOT have the attention span for hour long videos. but i LOVE pearl shes so fun. i also do try to watch as many other people's povs as i can, which so far is bigb, martyn, and lizzie. i think that gives me a pretty good view of a good amount of what happens on the server. i don't really have the energy for too many more POVS since the videos are 40m each and its hard to focus on things for hours on end even when i enjoy them (again, adhd)

10. do you have any headcanons? or theories about the season?

traffic scott is aroallo gay and polyamorous to me this is projection i am right and i will not be providing explanation or taking criticism at this time. also not rlly a headcanon but He Would Not Fucking Be Skinny quit twinkifying him. i also hc every cscott with long hair because i think he would have long hair and ccscott is WRONG about this i like to headcanon cpearl as a lesbian and genderfluid she/it! this is Also projection. but i think that it would use it/its. this is a compliment. i just think shes neat theories: grian i will steal your socks if this watcher lore turns out to be nothing i am standing here with a corkboard and red string DO YOU SEE THIS there HAS to be a deeper meaning to this. i dont think that bigbs task for session 2 actually was unusual, it wasnt worded weirdly. scar got the same task except with players last session. i think joel got the red task this time THINK ABOUT IT GUYS. THINK ABOUT IT. IT WAS SHORT AND VAGUE AND UNSPECIFIC LIKE BIGB'S. it was unspecific in the OPPOSITE direction!! like the other tasks give you a Specific succeed/fail condition but bigb's session 1 task & joel's session 2 task are both Unspecific and Dont provide a specific succeed/fail condition!! think abt it!!

11. if you had to bet on it, how long do you think this season will last?

honestly?? the way things are going i could see this season lasting WAY longer than any past season. i could see it going into december. most* of my povs at least are very good at not taking damage and unless the tasks start getting harder it doesn't seem like it's very impossible to complete your task every week?? We'll have to wait and see but at the moment it really feels like this season could go on a while. at least 10 weeks *martyn itlw not included

follow me @trafficyuri for secret life posting btw in case youve been wondering why im not posting abt it on main

#secret life #secret life smp #secret life spoilers #asks #ask game

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ilovethemac · 4 months

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I'm baaaaack

Okay, so it's no secret that my kdrama love comes in bursts. I watch like 20 in one month and then none for half a year. So I know it's been a while. But now that I'm on winter break from school (one more semester til graduation!), I thought I'd use my spare time to watch some old favorites and give new dramas a shot. I watched several dramas in December, but I didn't feel like doing a full review for any of them. So here's a rapid-fire breakdown of my recent viewings.

Cheer Up (2022): This is the drama that brought me back into the kdrama fold and it was such a good one to start my streak with. I think it got mixed reviews and the MDL score is only a 7.5 but I absolutely adored this one. The vibes were just immaculate. All the cinematography was gorgeous. And as an American, this type of cheer squad is entirely new to me, but I loved every second of it. The ridiculous costumes, the repetitive dance moves, the hardcore training-- it was so campy and fun. I love that it cuts from intense boot camp to everyone dressed up like ABBA singing and waving their arms around. I also really liked the romance in this one, even though it got delayed for way too long. All the characters were great and I loved that everyone got a little bit of focus, not just the main couple. I will say the tone was all over the place. One second we're having a fun romp through college and the next we're being hunted by a madman intent on killing our female lead because... reasons? But I actually kind of liked how jarring it was. It was hilarious. I don't know if that was the goal, but it made me laugh every time. This one got a very rare 10/10.

Love to Hate You (2023): This is a short 10-episode drama on Netflix and it kind of feels like a filler show. You can watch it over two days when you have nothing else you're focused on. That's not to say it's bad. It's got some great moments and it turns some tropes on their head. For example, when you meet a female lead's ex-boyfriend in episode one, he usually becomes a villain (and sometimes he loses his mind and tries to kill someone. Something In The Rain, I'm looking at you). But here he became one of my favorite characters, serving as both a surprise hero and comic relief. And all her male co-workers seem like they look down on women at first, but they end up being super loyal and sweet. But the male lead was confusing for me. He starts out as an incredibly misogynistic jerk, but then they get together and his justification is basically "most women are evil, but I really like you." I didn't feel like he actually learned. And the pacing was super weird. It's hard to tell when they actually start liking each other vs. when they're trying to seduce each other competitively (that may only make sense if you've seen it). Then the last two episodes feel like they ran out of conflict and pulled something out of thin air because the main couple was already together and that's not compelling anymore. Idk, I didn't hate it but it wasn't amazing either. 7/10 because the ex-boyfriend was so fun and the co-workers were stars. Jeon Shin Hwan and Joo Jong Hyuk carried this show on their backs.

Hotel del Luna (2019): This may come as a shock, but I had never seen this one before. It's one of the most popular dramas online and I'd been meaning to get around to it, but it took longer than I expected. I won't spend too long on it because you probably all watched it like 4 years ago. Basically, I had fun and IU absolutely kills it, but by the end, the whole thing felt like it was trying to hard too make me cry. I also wasn't as into the main couple as I think I was supposed to be. They were fine, I just preferred her as mean and vindictive as opposed to sweet and lovey. Plus I have absolutely no idea when they started liking each other or when they started dating. It was very vague. But the side characters were absolutely amazing. 7/10.

Summer Strike (2022): This was a strange one. I think I would have enjoyed it more if my expectations weren't so off. I thought it was going to be a fun, slice-of-life, hijinks of the week type show. Like she moves to a little island and meets the quirky locals and finds inner peace. Boy was I wrong. It's actually like half that, half murder mystery? Why? I thought I was going to get "no plot, just vibes" and instead I got "oh you like that character? well they're dead now." Very strange. But maybe if I'd known what it was going in, I would have enjoyed the mystery more. It's like I expected apple juice and got root beer. Not necessarily the root beer's fault, but it wasn't what I wanted and kinda soured the experience. But I do have to brag that I predicted the reveal in the first few episodes. I guessed who the killer was. I just got a weird vibe and I was like "oh it's them." Lo and behold, I was RIGHT. Very proud of that. 7/10.

Castaway Diva (2023): I just finished this one and once again, it was not the vibe I thought it was going to be. But this one actually felt very inconsistent. With a premise like "she was stranded on an island for 15 years," I think you either have to make it silly and funny or very dark and realistic. This drama tried to have both. It seemed like it was only interested in unpacking the male leads' traumas, but not our female lead. It was picking and choosing what to take seriously. Like yeah, we're gonna explore the lifelong ramifications of escaping an abuser, but this girl that lived in total solitude for over a decade? She's totally fine. Besides, she was also abused, but it is almost never brought up again after the pilot. She doesn't have lasting trauma or even any significant feelings about it. At least none that are shared with the audience. Also, was Ki-ho's identity supposed to be a mystery? Was I supposed to be unsure of who it was? Because I knew immediately. 6/10.

I'm currently deciding what to watch next, so if you have a suggestion, please send it my way! So glad to be back.

#kdrama #korean drama #kdrama review #cheer up #love to hate you #summer strike #hotel del luna #castaway diva

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bellewintersroe · 1 year

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Hi! I would like to request a Band of Brothers ship!

I am 5’5 and I have long dark brown hair with bangs. I’m very pale, I have hazel eyes, and I usually wear glasses. My personality type is INFP, enneagram 9, and I am usually a little timid and shy, and tend to keep to myself around new people. I don’t like conflict so I’m pretty agreeable and easygoing, but once you get to know me I’m more talkative and witty! I can also be a little stubborn at times. I’m a hard worker, and when I set my mind on something I usually get it done. I prefer to keep a small circle of close friends (I’ve known most since middle school,) and I really enjoy spending time with friends and family. I really value loyalty and honesty. I enjoy doing new and exciting things, and I love to travel and see new places that I haven’t been before (I especially love road trips.) I also enjoy reading, hiking, doing puzzles, listening to music, and watching movies. I’m also a December Sagittarius ♐️

Thank you!!

Thank you sm for the request !!! So happy to see lots of people’s still active in the BoB fandom <3<3<3

I ship you with… Lewis Nixon!!

I’ve been wanting to ship somebody with Nix again so bad!!!!

your personality really seems to match up with Lewis/ I think he’d super appreciate your laid back attitude. I think as well you both have dark features which would be super complimentary to one another.

you’d make such an attractive couple.

whilst Lewis isn’t as shy, nor is he timid, he does kinda keep himself to his group of friends, he’s super mature, a little bit older but nothing inappropriate.

im not sure how you two would first interact? I think it could be a number of interactions between mutuals where you’re sat on the same table but you don’t really interact.

Catch each other glimpsing across the table.

let’s say there’s some kinda conflict happening, you both stay out of it and afterwards, you’re a little more comfortable with him so you start making all these little jokes that Lewis finds super amusing.

ok I said he wasn’t shy but I think he’d get a little nervous around you? It’s only natural cos you’re so beautiful, he’d give you small looks with his lips tugged up in an amused smile.

soon his confidence grows and when the man begins smirking at you it’s got you weak in the knees. He has a vague idea of what he’s doing, but never actually realised anything would happen.

he values how honest you are, so when both your feelings are eventually expressed he’s over the moon about how straight forwards it was. Ofc it took a little time to get to that point, but when it happens it’s so worth it.

would steal your glasses just to tease you, kisses you whilst he’s wearing them.

I feel like he’d be so nervous to meet your family and friends? Obviously you’re so close nit with them all, he’s worried about intruding???

wont admit he’s nervous but you can just tell.

honestly it would go completely fine, I think Nix would feel a little awkward at first, but the more everybody keeps taking the more comfortable he grows. He’s so likeable so he never had to worry in the first place.

he’s stubborn, however, so like I said would never admit he gets nervous in these situations. Even throughout the war the man never admitted his nerves to you- even when the two of you first started seeing one another, he wouldn’t ever admit he was nervous.

might admit it after a few drinks.

but you’re stubborn too so you can just argue right back and be like ‘Lewis I could see the sweat beads running down your forehead’.

not afraid to publicly express his love and gratitude for you, praises you, loved you openly, it’s amazing. Maybe not so big on PDA, but enjoys talking about you, would probably hold your hand, slip a hand over your waist or kiss your forehead sweetly.

If you get lost on a hike good luck trying to find your way home anytime soon, I think the two of you might buttheads a little but it’s mainly light hearted.

now you’re a Sagittarius and Nix in a Libra so you’re supposed to apparently make one of the best matches of all zodiacs which I love as well.

your feelings for one another would be overwhelming, and I think at first Lewis gets a little stunned by this? He’s not frightened of commitment, he’s frightened over how quickly he fell for you- and a little worried of you leaving him???

Again, I’m not sure how much of this he’d admit? But you’d spend so much time together you can read the man like a book, so after a couple months to a year he never ever doubts your loyalty.

trusts you with his life, tells you mainly all his deepest, darkest secrets- but won’t admit to being scared of something silly like chickens or bugs to you.

would be so immensely proud of how hard you work, rewards you by taking you on lots of different holidays to many, many different places.

loves travelling just as much as you do, his childhood was spent in so many different countries/ areas, so he’s happy to show you different places he’s been and take you to the best parts of each area.

loves relaxing and sleeping soooo much, probably takes power naps.

I don’t think he’d admit his wealth / background to you at first? It’s not that he’s ashamed, he just doesn’t want to seem like he’s flaunting it. Once he realises how laid back and calm you are he can casually slip things into conversation.

if you two are together during the war he tells you stories about different places he’s been, like London, France and Germany- and how much better they were before the Nazi’s had savaged through half of them.

You’d really bring out a more mellowed side to Nix, helping him through hard times without even meaning to. You’re so honest with him about everything, that he trusts your opinion on everything and follows your lead.

eventually I think one of you would become less stubborn, and maybe after you’ve had a family or grown a little older, Nix finally admits he was indeed a tiny, tiny bit nervous when the two of you first met ;)

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creepylittlelady · 7 months

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Visuals of a Distant Memory

Sometimes, I wonder what other people's lives must be like. What runs in their head every second of every day, what visuals they wake up to. What hues of green, black, pink, purple, reds and oranges they must see with their irises every time they wake up.

What were other peoples memories like? What do they remember, what did they feel, touch, smell and hear? Did they hear the yelling decibels of the people who created them? Do they feel the rocks of their bed as they slept in the wind and rain, the tugging of their hair? Do they remember the ache of loneliness in their hearts as they scroll around the internet, rummaging like a desperate hoarder for a place to call home?

What do they feel now, looking back on it? Probably melancholic. That's what everyone must feel, right? They remember. Everyone does. The sadness, the tragedy, the terror of life as it moves on from a place of comfort to a bath of cold ice-water.

I can remember too.

Maybe it was only 3 years ago, maybe it was up to 7. It's foggy, like the image of a relative you only see once every few years, unable to make out anything but the length of their hair and the perfume they always wore.

It was cold, and it was dark. Have you ever felt that? It was most likely December. I had school that day, Primary School. It was early in the morning, sometimes that happens. You wake up, dreading the school day and realise you're not supposed to wake up for another 4 hours. Its dark outside, and you begin to wonder who else is awake at this time. Serial killers, murderers? The author of your favourite FNAF Comic Dub? An online figure that you happened to admire?

Like a good little girl that I was, I still changed into my uniform. It felt baggy and uncomfortable and not at all who I was, but there was no other choice. I stubbled over into the kitchen, rubbing my tired eyes. Those few nights, I couldn't sleep. I'd spend hours and hours looking into the dark and dreary night, wondering about things I shouldn't be as a young child. But also regular kid things too.

Nobody was in the small living room. Not even my older sister, whose faint cries of stress I can always somewhat recall. I turned on the light. The central heating was on, but there was still a faint chill of cold from the outside world.

I stood and kicked around, thinking. I had watched a creepydrawsta the night before, and I was trying to memorise all that had happened in it, the strokes the artist made while painting the story they were reading with their gentle, enigmatic voice. Maisie Went Missing Last Year, I think it was called. I tried to remember the names of all of my favourite Creepypasta characters, but there was always one whose name and backstory I seemed to slightly misremember.

I logged onto the family computer, an old dingy thing that took 2 and a half minutes to fully turn on. Although my parents were entering their late 40s, the computer still seemed eons more senile and ancient.

I opened it, the yell it eminated when it turned on frightened me a little, but I maintained a straight face. I always did anyways, facial expressions never did come easy to me.

I typed in 'YOUTUBE' in all caps, as for some reason I had forgotten to turn it off. I was the only one in my family that actually used Youtube, so all of the recommended videos were tailored to me.

I was a vocaloid fan as well. Something caught my eye. A song, 'Psychotic Love Song'. The thumbnail was of a girl with long flowing silver hair with red eyes and little bits of blood covering her. Typical Yandere, she looked like an Utauloid as well.

The song was an Utauloid cover of a song I had vaguely heard once before, in a top 10 Yandere songs or something like that.

I enjoyed it, and found the robotic feminine voice singing it to be pleasing.

I checked the comments.

'I'm cosplaying as Hatsune Miku for nightmare night. Hope I don't find any Tei cosplayers around O.o'. I didn't understand the context, nor who 'Tei' was and why they would want to harm Miku cosplayers.

I checked the day it was sent. 8 years ago. The person had a Twilight Sparkle Profile Picture, a staple of early 2010s internet. Halloween of maybe 2011, maybe 2010. Maybe even 2009. This person, whoever they were, sent this comment not knowing that a lonely child would be seeing it a little over 8 years later. That person must have grown up, gotten a job, graduated school. Yet their plans from Halloween from when they must have been a teenager are still here, on an old utauloid cover nobody had commented on in 5 years.

It was still dark and chilly, but I didn't really care. I was enthralled at how that night may have gone for them. Did they have fun? Was it the worst night of their life? Was it just another Halloween? I wanted to know. I wanted to know what it was like, being them. They could be filthy rich, in jail, homeless, or just living an ordinary life by the time I read that comment.

I wanted to reply, asking how Halloween of 2009-2010-2011 went for them. Who they were, how old they were, what their name was, where they lived, what they were doing now, how they were coping with things. They may have even been long dead, but I wouldn't have any way of knowing. That's what intrigued me.

How one tiny footnote of a person's life can make you so curious, make you want to dive down their personal rabbit hole.

I watched another Youtube video once the song was over, a FNAF Comic dub. Then another, an edgy tribute Creepypasta to Jeff the Killer. Another, an old japanese meme from Nico Nico Douga, more vocaloid songs, cringe mmd dramas, anime clips, a few animation memes. Nobody was awake. I didn't care where I was, or that I still was a lonely child with no friends at all, who lived in a dysfunctional house.

Those 3 or 4 hours, I believe I was at peace for the first time in a very long while.

Of course, I still had to go to school, which always sucked, but what could I have done? I remembered what I had seen that day, what I had watched, and for a few seconds, I was at peace.

Life was worth a small something, a secret a little girl would keep in a cheap jewellery box.

Distant.

Cold.

Yet comforting.

Do you remember?

0 notes

crazybigredlove · 1 year

Text

10th December 2013

Dear Pete,

We had something, Big Red and I. Something. I know that now. Something that could've been unbreakable, and nurtured until it could blossom into something so much bigger than what it started out as, but we proved them wrong. We did it. We broke it into so many pieces that now there's nothing left but a hollowness that echoes with anger.

I existed before it came along, I was happy. So why does that concept seem foreign now?

After all this, at least I finally know it was real, even if he acts like it wasn't. All those times he stared into my eyes and told me how amazing I was, it felt real. And it didn't matter if it wasn't because we both knew that one day it would be.

But we broke it. And now it can't ever go back together. There's nothing left of it.

I'm not sad for me anymore, I'm sad that twice I was offered something that seemed so special and twice it was torn to pieces like an old rag. Maybe that's it though. Maybe if it can be destroyed so easily and without a second thought, then it really doesn't mean that much. Any value is just perceived rather than actually existing.

I tried talking to Harry about it.

"Do you think you can break your life so much that the only way to put it together is to start again?"

Peering at me over his glasses, he gave me a long look up and down as if searching for signs of trauma. "I don't think it's possible to truly start again. Who we are is the result of all our experiences. We can pretend they didn't happen, but it doesn't make them any less real."

"What if you reach a point though, where you know you just need new everything? New plans, new scene, new job... Everything. New." "I think lots of people reach that point. That's why they move interstate, or they take extended holidays overseas. Is that what you're thinking of doing?"

"I can't choose the hand I'm dealt, I'm old enough to realise and appreciate that, but if I don't like the hand I don't see why I shouldn't try again for a new one. At least for a little while." "Was there somewhere in particular you were thinking of going?" Laughing as I speak, I'm aware of how vague it all sounds. "Nowhere. Everywhere. I have enough saved up that I could pack up the car and my dog, throw some clothes in the back, and drive for a few months. Head up the coast. See some sights. Work out what I really want to do with my life. Kind of like a holiday, but closer to home and for a lot longer than I've ever holidayed for."

"If you're doing it for the right reasons and you're in a position where you can, I think most people would enjoy doing that at some stage, for a period." "I feel like I need a little time away from all my drama. To know that these men can't get to me, that there's no pressure to do a job I hate, and to make choices without other influences. For a period."

"Then I think it's a good idea, provided you go away knowing that at some point the real world will kick in again and you'll have to return to work, to pressure, to reality."

I'm not sure what the goal of his words was, but they filled me with hope. I suddenly felt so confident that mine was the right decision.

"I still want to call him. Tell him this is it and he needs to stay this time or never come back again."

"Do you really think he doesn't know that already? And do you really think you should?" Closing my eyes, I smile bitterly. "I know I can't. It's what I always do right? He wouldn't believe me anyway. It has to be different or nothing changes."

Harry nodded. "If we keep doing what we've always done..." He let his voice trail off. Why waste words on things that don't need to be said? "There is a small part of me that still wants to be with him," I admit with an embarrassed scowl. "But I'm not sharing anymore. I want the version of him that would give me birthday presents and Christmas presents; the one that would show me off to his friends rather than hide my very existence. I'm not settling for anything less than that with anyone."

"Do you really see yourself being able to sustain a relationship with a man who has behaved the way that he has though?" "Yes. Because believing 'not for now, but maybe' is what's going to help me move to 'never again'."

Strange thoughts in my head, but I'm not sad. I'm making plans. Plans intended to be shared with people who don't discard me so easily.

Liv x

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hurdlehoops · 3 years

Text

SPN did Market Research for Dean & Cas

Disclaimer: Yes this is a sock for safety reasons. Post is long, but please read it.

No shit there I was checking my email, as you do, and I saw I had a screener from one of the market research groups I’m signed up with. On average, I do a market research thing every 3-4 months because I like non-reportable money. And giving my opinions. And talking to people behind 2 way mirrors without having to go to a police station.

Market research itself was early December, 2016. First email contact with the screener was late October or early November.

I see it’s an “offsite,” meaning a market research company is subcontracted by another company who wants to do the market research at their own facility, but doesn't want to find the participants on their own, so they use the Market research company (in this case Schlesinger and Associates) as an intermediary. I can’t remember if this screener identified itself as being for TV, not all do, some might identify only as entertainment, and some might be even more vague until you get into the screener. Regardless of the identification for the screener (TV or entertainment), I fill out almost every screener I receive unless it’s obvious, from the subject, they won’t want me (ie looking for certain types of professionals)- it didn’t matter, then, if the subject matter was something I particularly like, I would’ve filled it out anyway.

After normal, but more detailed than usual demographics questions, the screener asked about TV habits. Eventually, it said the word “fandom” and asked what TV fandoms I’d count myself in. It was roughly a list of 20 shows and listed “fandom” (defined as I watch every episode and read additional materials about the show. Note this is not what fandom itself would consider fandom, but people most fandom dwellers would still count as GA). Beyond fandom, one could indicate they: watch all episodes but don’t seek out more, watch most episodes, have seen some episodes, watched a few, or haven’t watched. (I just got a screener for soap operas and realized that part was the same and made note). Therefore, fandom, to corporate, are people who watch everything and maybe buy some swag for the show- magazines/shirts. Then, they asked about conventions I might have attended. And then asked about my dream vacation, so I babbled a lot about my dream to go to SDCC (I hadn’t at this point). Supernatural was on the list of shows, so I made sure I answered the essay questions about it, because why not? It was my favorite of what was listed. It was a long screener. I don’t remember the rest. Though sometimes I might remember a detail if a screener reminds me of it. Most fun screener I’ve filled out.

A few days/weeks later, I got a call for step 2- the phone screener for the people that sounded good when filling out the form. And where they try and make sure your answers match or fit that same person who answered them. I passed step 2, and was told there would be homework, and asked ifI’d have time for it, since I would only have so many days to watch the assigned material and write essays about them.

Homework arrives: I have to watch and write essays on all the bonus features of Supernatural S10. There might’ve been something in there from another year, too. And all the bonus features from some season of Big Bang Theory. Essays for all of it, too. And I mean essays, not short answers. It was like the SATs, and I was analyzing blooper reels (among other things). I still don’t get why they wanted essay questions on blooper reels, but I’ll always happily write one again cause that was the funniest essay to have to write!

I had to both print and bring and email all my answers ahead of time. I did not keep them. I’m honestly curious what I might’ve written.

So in December, I get to go to WB’s market research department. Fun fact: the entrance to that building faces what had recently been the Supernatural poster. I check in. At this point I think it’s a group. Because most market research is done in groups. Also they said I was there for the “DVD bonus features study”

I wait in the lobby, but I’m surprised there seem to be very few others around. I don’t think I got there too early, but all the others were taken back before me. And they didn’t seem to be there for the same study. Oh and I wore business casual clothes but had some show-based earrings for fun.

Finally a nice lady brings me back to a room. She turns off the lights and gives me a fancy remote and has me play with a new system for watching bonus features. I had to start with BBT. Then we did something else. Then I was allowed to scroll through and I picked Supernatural, and answered all the things. By this point I figured I would be released soonish because I was supposed to be there only for an hour. And this was at least half an hour at the most. No clock, though and cell phone off. Maybe this part went faster than I remember, but it was less interesting so it felt longer? Or less interesting compared to what came next.

We switch gears. I’m no longer allowed to pick what we watch and talk about my thoughts on if SDCC panels belong in bonus features. (Me: should have a preorder and you get to watch it when the season airs with DVD to arrive when season ends. Silly to watch it after the season when it’s mostly vague spoilers for the first episode or so). Obviously WB doesn’t listen to me about everything.

Oh! In the screener as part of normal demographics, I was asked about my sexuality. It isn’t completely rare (I can talk about another market research where you had to be queer to be part of it), but there were some short answers about representation or something similar. Something that is significant *now,* but at the time I didn’t notice as being too weird. Since they probably had me listed to the people behind the mirror as X (if they even got my name) Y resident, bisexual, age. I very specifically said stuff to her about representation cause I wasn’t gonna miss my shot.

Anyway so we switch from dvd extras and she queues up video from another file.

She puts a scene of Supernatural on and has me watch. Then repeats it. And asks questions about my opinions on what’s happening. Then has me watch and only pay attention to Character D and tell her what I think his emotions are. Then again but with Character C.

Complete torture… lol… at this point I’m confused, but enjoying this torture.

So there I am watching the Crypt scene over and over and analyzing it. And talking about their feelings.

And then I stop her and say something to the effect of “look I’m bi. There’s not a lot of good representation on what being bi is like. But from episode 1 I’ve known Dean is Bi.” And I babbled about how important a macho badass but closeted character is for representation. And that I hoped they did more with that. I included some anecdotes from other lgbtq friends and straight allies and how they all felt as I did- Dean is Bi, Cas is whatever he wants to identify as, and we felt we recognized our experiences on the screen and hoped for continued and louder representation.

Bam. My interviewer was called out of the room by the people behind the mirror. Suddenly I’m getting a whole new set of questions

Like this is the most baffling and amazing thing that's happened to me in years. It imprinted in my mind, and I haven’t mentioned it to too many people, because of the NDA and being afraid to jinx things. But now I don’t feel like it matters to be as quiet. Obviously I don’t want WB to go after me but... market research isn’t unusual, just mostly used for spin-offs or new shows not for plot points of shows already happening. At least, that’s my understanding.

The interviewer comes back after a short discussion with whoever was behind the glass. Asks a few more questions

We’re now very much going into various things about what I’d just said. I took my shot. And apparently it paid off big time. At some point she’s pulled out of the room again and given a paper with more questions. Some were about Dean’s bisexuality, or how I, and anecdotally my friends, saw him as bisexual. Others were about the potential romance. None, that I remember, were about Castiel’s sexuality- I guess that was a given or not important.

I don’t know if any of the writers were behind the glass from the beginning, but I felt like they stalled to get someone there, maybe.

The interviewer was baffled and made sure I knew nothing that was happening was normal. They wanted to ask me more questions than they usually care to get out of their market research volunteers.

So those are the most important parts. Basically almost everything I was asked after that was about character analysis and queerness and a whole bunch of other things that were related (I also mentioned needing more disability rep, too). I was back there for at least 2 hours.

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #misha collins #jensen ackles

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hxlyhead-harpies · 3 years

Text

Shining Just For You (S.B.)

Summary: You had never had much luck with boys, coming to the conclusion that you were no one’s type. But you certainly were not Sirius Black’s type.

Song of the Fic: Mirror Ball by Taylor Swift

I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: Insecurity, alcohol use, cursing, mentions of vomit and food

A/n: hello everyone! this is the longest thing i’ve written so i hope you all enjoy it! i really enjoyed writing it!!

The early December sun danced across the pages of your book as you read, situated by the largest window in the library. It was an early morning on a Saturday as you studied, pouring over your history of magic textbook. You loved the library at this time of day. The golden beams of the post dusk sun filled the room and the hum of silence engulfed you. And there was never anyone around to bother you.

Except for today of course.

“Hello there Ms. (L/n),” a voice said as the seat across from you became occupied. You rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed with the boy who had graced your presence.

“Hello, Black,” you said, looking up to meet eyes with Sirius. He leaned back and propped his feet up on the table, sending you one of his signature smirks. You gasped before slapping at his legs.

“Feet off the table,” you whispered harshly. Sirius let out a chuckle.

“Only if you come to the quidditch match today,” he stated, making you freeze.

“There’s a quidditch match today?” you asked quietly. You felt incredibly guilty. You had promised your cousin James that you would try to come to at least one of his matches this year since you had missed every match in your sixth year. Sirius scoffed at you.

“Of course there’s a match today. I’m surprised you’ve forgotten since it’s all that James has talked about all week,” he said with a chuckle. You began to gather your things.

“I’ve learned to tune him out,” you explained, earning a laugh from Sirius. You tried not to let your cheeks heat up too much at the noise, proud that you were able to elicit that kind of response from him.

“Why are you here anyway?” he asked, gesturing to your pile of books, “It’s a Saturday.” You continue to shove your things into your satchel.

“I always study on Saturday mornings,” you responded. Sirius sighed.

“You’re so weird. I can’t believe you’d spend a Saturday studying,” he said. You turned to look at him.

“Some of us actually have to work to get good grades,” you said with a slight hint of defensiveness. Sirius smiled at you.

“Well some of us prefer to have fun instead of being painfully boring,” he responded with a chuckle. The comment stung but you masked it with a half-hearted laugh. You knew that you and Sirius did not have the same definition of fun, but it still hurt that he would call you boring. You made a move to leave and Sirius followed you.

“Now, you do know how to get to the quidditch pitch don’t you?” he said teasingly. You shoved his shoulder.

“Of course I do you prat,” you replied. Sirius threw his hand up in surrender.

“Hey I’m just checking,” he laughed lightly. When you arrive at the common room you turn to head up the girl’s staircase.

“I’ll save you a seat,” Sirius called after you, causing you to flush darkly.

“Thank you,” you shouted over your shoulder, refusing to face him in case he saw how flustered he made you. Sirius had always had the ability to turn you into a blushing mess ever since the moment you met him. It had been your first year when he stumbled into the compartment you shared with James, asking if he could sit with you. Even at eleven, when his stormy grey eyes met yours, you knew that he’d be all you thought of for years. And as you grew, your feelings for the boy only grew as well. Every moment alone in the common room and as potions partners were ingrained in your mind, replayed every night as you fell asleep. But despite your intense feelings for Sirius, he never seemed to see you as anything more than a friend, continuing to hook up with his string of gorgeous girls. The kind of girls that you wished you looked like when you gazed into your mirror. They were all undeniably beautiful, with gorgeous flowing hair and flawless skin. Their long and nimble fingers grazing his arms when they passed him in the hallways. They were quite the opposite of you, comfortable in their own bodies and confident. They were everything that you wished that you were.

You had never had much luck with boys, coming to the conclusion that you were no one’s type. But you certainly were not Sirius Black’s type.

You bustled up the stairs to your room, pushing open the door and dropping your bag by your bed. Lily looked up from her spot by the mirror, her mascara wand frozen mid-air.

“Oh, you’re back early today,” she said, confusion evident in her brow. You opened your trunk and pulled out a thick Gryffindor jumper, pulling it over your white turtleneck.

“I’ve decided to go to the match today,” you said, smoothing out your hair. Lily let out a laugh.

“You? Going to quidditch?” she asked with a goofy grin on her face. You shrugged with a small frown.

“James asked me to go,” you said quietly. Lily narrowed her eyes.

“James always asks you to go and you haven’t shown up in three years. I’m surprised you even knew there was a match today,” she said, turning back to the mirror to finish her makeup.

“Sirius found me in the library earlier and reminded me,” you said and you sidled up next to her by the mirror. You grabbed a red silk ribbon and began to pull your hair back. Lily smirked at you in the mirror.

“Oh now I understand,” she said in a playful tone. You rolled your eyes. “You just want to hang out with your boyfriend,” she continued before capping her mascara. You scoffed.

“Sirius is not my boyfriend! And if anyone is going to the match today to impress a boy it’s you,” you said, causing Lily to cough and blush deeply.

“Oh shut up,” she mumbled.

“Oh come on Lily I know you’re just going to watch James,” you said with a grin. Lily hid her crimson face with her hair.

“I just have house spirit,” she rationalized. You leaned back against the dresser and gave her a pointed look as she dropped onto her bed.

“Oh yeah? Then who’s jumper are you wearing right now?” you asked teasingly. Lily’s eyes went wide and she chucked a pillow at you. You just laughed before throwing it back at her and flopping on the bed beside her. The two of you laid in silence for a moment, mulling over your respective harbored feelings for boys with messy black hair. After a moment you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Lils?” you asked.

“Mhm?” she responded, turning her head to look at you.

“Do you think I’m boring?” you inquired softly. Lily furrowed her eyebrows.

“Of course not,” she said, “Why would you think that?” You shrugged, playing with a loose thread on the blanket. “Sirius called me boring this morning,” you revealed, sadness creeping into your voice. Lily scoffed.

“He was just teasing, you know how he is,” Lily said, propping herself up on her elbows. “He didn’t mean anything by it.” You frowned and continued to stare at the quilt. Lily hopped off the bed and held out her hand.

“Now let’s go,” she said with a smile, “Our boys are waiting.”

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

When you and Lily arrived at the quidditch pitch you are already cold. You rubbed your hands together as you searched the full stands to see if Sirius actually saved you a seat or not. You eventually spotted him among the Gryffindors and you pulled Lily towards him.

When you arrived you sat down in the empty space next to him, shooting him a small smile.

“You actually came,” he said with a smirk, “Peter and I were taking bets on if you’d actually show or not.” You rolled your eyes.

“Of course I came. You dragged me out of the library for this,” you said. Sirius clutched his chest in mock offense.

“I did not drag you,” he exclaimed, “you left of your own volition.” You chuckled, shaking your head.

The match began soon after, the players taking their positions in the sky. You watched as they zoomed back and forth, different colored balls flying in different directions. You only vaguely understood how quidditch worked, learning solely from Jame’s rambles at the breakfast table, but you were completely confused as to what was happening in front of you. Sirius noticed your pinched expression and smiled softly, finding your confusion positively adorable. He nudged you with his shoulder.

“Do you have any idea what’s happening?” he asked with a raised brow. Your eyes went wide.

“What? Of course I do,” you sputtered causing his smile to widen.

“Okay, clearly you don’t,” he teased, “what do you need me to explain?” You ducked your head.

“What does the little golden ball do?” you asked nervously. Sirius barked out a loud laugh, causing several students to turn your way. Lily shifted beside you.

“Did you just ask what the snitch means?” she asked. You covered your face with your hands.

“Forget it,” you grumbled, silently wishing that you had paid more attention to James. If you had actually listened when he explained the game to you multiple times, you wouldn’t be sitting here, embarrassing yourself greatly in front of Sirius. You suddenly wished that you were Lily, who had understood quidditch since the first match she had ever attended.

“No no it’s okay,” Sirius chuckled, removing your hands from your face. Your hands burned even under your wool mittens from the contact. “Catching the snitch is the only way to end the game,” he explained, “The seekers look for it while the others play, and whichever team catches it gains a hundred and fifty points.”

“A hundred and fifty?” you exclaimed, “Then what’s the point of the rest of the game? Whoever catches the snitch basically wins with all those points.” Sirius shook his head.

“It’s really hard to catch so sometimes it takes them hours to play. The score gets up to three hundred sometimes, even before the snitch is caught.” You frowned.

“I guess that kind of makes sense. I still think it’s stupid,” you said. Sirius laughed loudly again.

“You’re so weird,” he said before mussing up your hair. You swatted his hand away and attempted to ignore the burning embarrassment that you felt in your chest. Only about thirty minutes into the match, the Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch and effectively won the game. The stands stood up, roaring in pride. Lily took off towards the pitch, searching for James. You made your way down there as well, hoping to congratulate your cousin. When you found him in the crowd he had an arm around the very flushed Lily whom you raised an eyebrow at. She just rolled her eyes and subtly flicked you off.

“Congrats Jamie!” you said, raising your hand for a high five. His eyes widened at the sight of you, using his unoccupied arm to pull you into a quick side hug.

“You actually came!” he cried with a wide smile, “I owe Wormtail two galleons now.” you scoffed indignantly.

“Yee of little faith,” you said. James laughed and shook his head.

“Glad Sirius convinced you to come,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You felt heat crawl up your neck. Lily slapped his arm.

“James! Behave,” she said. James smiled at her.

“I’m sorry my Lilyflower, it won’t happen again.” Lily ducked under his arm, causing him to pout.

“I said not to call me that, Potter,” she said with a glare. But there was a deep affection for the boy shining in her eyes. Sirius came up behind you and patted James on the back.

“Good game mate,” he said with a grin. James threw an arm around his best friend’s shoulder.

“You might need to convince (Y/n) to come to another match, I think she was good luck.” You ducked your head slightly.

Before you could respond, a girl came over and snaked her hand around Sirius’s arm. Sirius looked down at Marlene and sent her a smile. You felt your stomach turn in jealousy. Marlene was your roommate and one of your closest friends. But you couldn’t help but be envious of her closeness with Sirius. She was his most consistent hookup, them adopting a friends with benefits type of relationship. Marlene was beautiful with long blonde hair and a slender frame. She wore clothes that you only wished you could someday be confident enough to pull off and had an irresistible air about her. You wanted to be like her more than anything.

“There’s an afterparty in the common room tonight. You gonna be there?” she asked. You understood the implications of her words and the question that she was really asking him.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said, adopting a slightly flirty tone. Marlene turned to the rest of the group, her bright eyes wide and expectant.

“Will you guys come too?” she asked, her voice much more innocent than before. Everyone around you nodded. You saw Sirius look at you.

“What about you, (Y/n),” he asked. You looked up and shrugged.

“Parties aren’t really my thing,” you replied. In your seven years at school, you had never attended a party, not understanding the appeal of getting drunk and dancing amongst sweaty bodies. Sirius snorted.

“Don’t know what I expected. Of course, Miss boring won’t be coming,” he said. His tone indicated that his statement was nothing more than a lighthearted jibe but you suddenly felt the burning need to prove him wrong.

“You know what,” you said with false confidence, “I think I will go.”

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

You stood in front of your mirror, tugging at the short skirt that you were wearing. You barely recognized yourself, having let Lily and Marlene dress you up. They had chosen a purple tank top and a black mini skirt. You had to admit that you looked good, but you did not look like yourself. If anything you looked more like Marlene, minus the effortless confidence and all around perfection. But when you thought of how Sirius constantly flirted with her, maybe emulating Marlene wouldn’t be such a bad thing. You gave your reflection one final frown before turning to your friends. Lily was applying a final coat of lipgloss and Marlene was messing with her hair.

“You guys almost ready?” you asked, wringing your hands nervously. Lily set aside her makeup and walked towards you.

“You look so good!” Lily said, seemingly not noticing your insecurity. You smiled anxiously at her, thanking her softly. Marlene ran her hands through her hair a final time before marching towards you.

“Let’s go, ladies,” she said with an excited squeal. She grabbed both of your hands and pulled you and Lily out the door.

When you arrived in the common room the party was already in full swing. Students were dancing together in the middle of the room and cups of firewhiskey mixed with a mystery liquid were being handed out. Marlene was immediately pulled onto the dance floor by a sixth year she had been flirting with and bid you goodbye. You and Lily weaved through the crowd together, searching for familiar faces.

You spotted the Marauders by the drinks table, each of them holding a cup in their hands. Lily went up to James, initiating a conversation with the boy. You stood by awkwardly, unsure of where to go. Suddenly, Sirius came up next to you, a second cup in his hand.

“A glass of jungle juice for the lady,” he said with a smirk. You smiled at him and accepted the cup. You wondered if your eyes were playing tricks on you or if Sirius had just looked you up and down.

“Thank you,” you said before taking a small sip. You immediately scrunched your nose and flinched, not used to the burning sensation in your throat. Sirius laughed from beside you.

“You’ll get used to it,” he said, taking a long sip of his own drink.

“That was disgusting,” you said before taking another equally excruciating sip. Sirius lowered your cup from your lips, sending you a warning glance.

“Don’t drink too much too fast or you’ll get absolutely smashed,” he warned, “And you’ll get a killer headache in the morning.” You nodded in understanding. You took a quick glance around the room, spotting James and Lily head to the dance floor.

“So what does one do at a party?” you asked Sirius, earning a sweet lopsided grin from him.

“Well, obviously you drink,” he said, raising his cup. “But you also dance, hang out with people, and a lot of people come to find a quick hookup.”

“Okay got it,” you responded, bopping your head to the music.

“Not that you have to do any of that,” he said, “especially the last one.” Your cheeks flushed at his implication.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you mumbled, taking a quick sip of your drink. A silence settled over you as you fiddled with the straps of your tank top, still not used to the low cut. Sirius suddenly downed the rest of his drink.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, “I’m gonna get a refill.” You nodded quickly. While you waited you finished your own drink, becoming more used to the flavor as your head became fuzzier. You waited for Sirius for a while, and it appeared that he wouldn’t be coming back. You made your way to the drink table and Sirius was nowhere to be found. You sighed, assuming that he had left with Marlene or another girl. You refilled your cup and downed it quickly, barely taking a break between sips, and poured a third. You stumbled over to the couch, realizing that the drink was stronger than you thought. As soon as you plopped down on the sofa, Lily was at your side, her cheeks flushed and her clothes slightly rumpled.

“(Y/n)!” she cried, throwing her arms around your neck, “There you are!” You giggled at your friend, her affectionate side coming out full force when she drank. As she burrowed into your neck, you caught a whiff of a familiar cologne. Your eyes widened and you pushed Lily off you.

“Did you? With James?” you asked, unable to properly articulate the question in your drunken state. Lily giggled.

“Yes,” she said, “but shh, don’t tell anyone.” Lily pressed her index finger to your mouth, causing you to giggle.

“That’s gross,” you groaned, attempting to rid yourself of the image of your cousin and best friend in a compromising position. Lily scoffed.

“I can promise you that it was certainly not gross,” she said with a sly smile. You covered your ears.

“Enough! I don’t want any details,” you cried. Lily laughed uncontrollably, flopping against you.

“Let’s dance,” she said, pulling you up from the couch. The two of you stumbled onto the dance floor and began to sway to the music.

“I don’t know how to dance!” you shouted at her. Lily grinned wildly.

“No one here does! That’s the fun of it!” The two of you jumped to the music and swung around. You felt a pair of large hands touch your hips and you turned to see a boy in your year looking down on you with half-lidded eyes. At the moment you couldn’t remember his name, but you leaned into his touch anyways, moving closer. A flash of guilt came over you when his fingers brushed the bare skin of your stomach but you brushed it away. Why should you feel the need to stay loyal to a boy that you don’t even have? A boy who didn’t even think of you in a romantic sense?

From across the room, Sirius watched you over Marlene’s shoulder. The girl had pulled him into a conversation and had effectively trapped him in a corner. He hadn’t meant to leave you stranded in the middle of the party. Now he watched as you pressed yourself against a stranger and Sirius gritted his teeth. He looked back down at Marlene who was looking up at him with a seductive expression. He had no intention of sleeping with her tonight, only wanting to spend his time with you. But it seemed that he had blown his chances since you were clearly occupied. So Sirius brushed a strand of hair from Marlene’s face a leaned closer to her.

Lily backed away from you, sending you a not so subtle thumbs-up, before abandoning the dancefloor. You and the boy danced for a while longer before you caught sight of Marlene and Sirius with their faces close together. You frowned slightly before tearing your eyes away, not wanting to subject yourself to that torture. You tried to turn your attention back to the boy who you were pressed against. His advances were getting slightly bolder, his hands traveling slightly farther down your waist. He suddenly flipped you around, tilting your chin towards him with his pointer finger. He started to lean in, but you broke away from his grasp.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your panic levels rising.

“Trying to kiss you?” he answered, confused at your reaction. You felt tears slightly burn behind your eyes and you went to push past him. He grabbed you by the wrist.

“Where are you going? I thought we were having a good time,” he asked, anger edging into his tone.

“Away from you,” you replied, harsher than you intended. He scoffed before letting go of your wrist. You push through the crowd and out of the common room.

Sirius watched the whole altercation and peeled Marlene off of him when he saw you flee the party.

“Sirius?” she asked, confusion in her eyes.

“I have to go,” he said breathlessly. Marlene shrugged.

“Alright then. I’ll go find Dorcas,” she said, heading off to find her next hookup.

Sirius hurried out the portrait hole, attempting to track you down. He found you crumpled in a hallway a small ways away from the fat lady. Your head was in your hands and you cried, the makeup Marlene had meticulously put on you slowly smudging. Sirius slid down next to you and pulled you into a tight hug, setting his chin atop of your head and letting you sob into his shirt.

“It’s alright,” he said in an attempt to soothe you. You hiccupped.

“I hate parties,” you cried, your voice muffled by his T-shirt. Sirius couldn’t help but smile slightly at your personality shining through your drunken stupor.

“I know I know,” he said quietly, rubbing circles into your back.

After a few minutes of muffled crying, you sat up and wiped your eyes.

“Feeling better?” Sirius asked, pulling his knees up to his chest. You nodded silently.

“Why are you out here?” you asked quietly, “I thought you were with Marlene.” Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, not missing the bitterness in your voice.

“She’s still at the party,” he answered, “I left her to come to help you.” You pouted slightly.

“Why would you leave Marlene?” you asked confusedly, “I’m not worth that, Marlene’s perfect.” Sirius frowned deeply.

“What are you talking about,” he prodded. You sighed.

“Marlene is so pretty and perfect. I don’t know why you’d leave her to come see me,” you slurred. Sirius brushed a strand of hair from his face.

“Because I was worried about you. Besides, you’re more important to me than Marlene,” he answered. Your frown only deepened.

“But you spend all that time around her. And she’s so beautiful. Merlin,” you put your head in your hands, “I wish I was like her.” Sirius thought his heart would break at your words and forlorn expression. He pulled you back into his chest, stroking your hair.

“You don’t need to be like Marlene,” he assured you. You struggled to break free from his grasp.

“You don’t understand,” you mumbled.

“Then explain it to me,” he sighed. You pulled your knees to your chest.

“Marlene is so beautiful and confident. I just wish that I could be like her. Or even half as pretty as she would be enough,” you peered up at Sirius with teary eyes.

“What are you talking about?” he whispered, “You’re beautiful.” You scoffed.

“No, I’m not. I’m homely and plain and I’m boring. I’m not enough. Marlene is enough. Lily is enough! I want to be like them,” you said, choking back a sob. Sirius reached out to wipe away your tears.

“You’re more than enough.”

“But I’m not! I’m not pretty like them. I’m not sure of myself like Marlene. I’m not smart like Lily. For Godric’s sake! That’s why I’m always in the library every weekend. I need to spend my whole life studying to make good marks. No matter how much I try and try it’s never good enough,” you yelled. Sirius was silent, taken aback by your outburst. He had no idea what to say to you to try to get you to understand just how wrong you were.

“(Y/n),” he pleaded with you to look at him. You lifted your head, your cheeks still flushed from yelling. “You are unbelievable. You’re kind and funny, and astonishingly sweet. Lily and Marlene don’t even hold a candle to you,” he said softly. You looked away.

“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend,” you accused, your words slightly garbled from the alcohol. Sirius looks you deeply in the eyes, his eyes unwavering.

“You are the most beautiful and amazing girl that I have ever seen. And I have thought this since the moment that we first met,” he said. This confession stirred something in your chest. You tried to think of what to say, sorting through your fuzzy and muddled thoughts. You opened your mouth to reply, before promptly leaning over and hurling all over Sirius’s shoes.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The next morning you woke up with an earth splitting headache. You groaned as you rolled over, spotting the glass of water on your bedside table. You looked down to see that you were still wearing last night’s clothes.

“Good morning sunshine,” Lily said with a smirk, leaning against the dresser in one of James’s jumpers.

“Quiet please,” you begged, sitting up slowly. Lily chuckled. You looked around the room to see Mary and Alice sleeping soundly in their beds.

“Where’s Marlene?” you asked, dread settling at the bottom of your stomach, immediately assuming that she was with Sirius. Lily shrugged.

“She never made it back last night.” You swung your legs out of bed and began to get ready for the day, wiping off the old makeup and putting on fresh clothing.

“She must be with Sirius then,” you said. You saw Lily frown.

“Do you remember anything that happened last night?” she asked. You tried to recall your memories to no avail.

“The last thing I remember is dancing with you and that guy. Everything is all fuzzy after that,” you confessed, “Why?”

“Well, that guy made a pass at you so you ran away. Sirius brought you back and put you to bed. I think Marlene was with Dorcas, not Sirius,” she revealed. You frowned, struggling to recall these events. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t remember a thing.

“Oh,” was your only response.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

“Hello there ladies!” James called as you and Lily walked to the table for breakfast. Lily sat next to him and didn’t protest when he put an arm around her waist, and you plopped down and immediately rested your head on the table.

“Rough night?” Remus asked with a chuckle.

“I am never drinking again,” you replied with a groan.

“That’s what they all say,” James said, patting you on the back. You sat up, trying to find something to eat that wouldn’t make you throw up. You glance up to see Sirius avoiding your gaze.

“Hey,” you whispered to him. He looked up at you briefly before turning back to his plate.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Do you know what happened when I left the party? I can barely remember a thing from last night,” you asked. Sirius’s shoulders appeared to slump slightly.

“I went to go find you and then I carried you back to your room,” he said, still not looking at you fully.

“Oh. So that’s all?” you asked. Sirius smirked.

“That and you threw up on me,” he revealed, making your jaw drop.

“I did not!” you exclaimed, your hand covering to cover your mouth. Sirius grimaced slightly.

“Unfortunately for me, you did.” Your face burned with embarrassment and you wanted the floor of the Great Hall to swallow you whole.

Marlene sauntered up to the table eventually, looking far too good for someone who had been out all night.

“Hello everyone,” she said as she sat, her voice bright and chipper. You attempted to smooth your hair, self-conscious now that the gorgeous girl was sitting next to you. Sirius frowned at your action, now knowing the meaning behind it.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

You were doing homework in the common room when James and his friends surrounded you on the couch. You looked up at them, noting their suspicious behavior and narrowing your eyes at them.

“What are you guys up to?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. James sat down next to you and threw an arm around your shoulder.

“Well my dear cousin, we need your help with something,” he stated with a sly smile on his face. You crinkled your nose and removed his arm from you.

“Does this something happen to be a prank?” you asked frankly, crossing your arms tightly across your chest. James shrugged.

“Possibly…” he said.

“James, how many times must I tell you that I don’t want to be involved in your practical jokes,” you reminded him. James groaned.

“Come one, (Y/n)! Where’s your sense of adventure?” he asked, exasperated. The memories of Sirius calling you boring bounced around in your mind. You stole a quick glance at him to see him watching you with an unreadable expression.

“Fine,” you agreed, internally hoping that you wouldn’t come to regret your words. You looked back at Sirius to see him frowning.

You and the Marauders walked through the corridors as James explained the plan. Remus, James, and Peter were going to set up fuses in three classrooms that when lit, would cause paint bombs to explode in each room. You and Sirius were to be lookouts. James, Peter, and Remus disappeared into the classrooms while you and Sirius leaned against the wall.

“I didn’t expect you to agree to this,” Sirius said, “I didn’t think you liked this kind of thing.” You shrugged and inspected your nails, picking at the skin around them.

“I’m trying to branch out. Trying not to be so boring,” you answered. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows.

“You’re not boring,” he said in an oddly defensive manner. You widened your eyes.

“You literally tell me I’m boring all the time,” you replied. Sirius leaned his head back against the wall.

“I’m just joking when I say that. You’re not boring, just responsible,” he said with a frown. You turned your head away and peered down the hallway.

“Can I ask you something?” Sirius asked, turning his body fully towards you.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied.

“Lily told me that the guy at the party tried to kiss you and that’s why you ran away. How come you didn’t kiss him? You looked pretty into him when you two were dancing,” he asked, barely meeting your eyes. You flushed deeply.

“I- uh,” you stuttered, “I’ve never kissed anyone before and I didn’t want to do it for the first time when I was drunk and with someone I don’t even know,” you revealed shyly. Sirius cocked his head.

“What do you mean you’ve never kissed anyone?” he asked.

“I mean that. No one has ever kissed me,” you repeated, shaking your head slightly.

“What? How come?” Sirius asked. You shrugged.

“No one’s ever wanted to I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity. No one’s ever liked me like that.”

“That’s bullshit,” he exclaimed.

“What?”

“Plenty of guys like you like that!”

“What?” you sputtered.

“Well that guy last night for one,” he explained.

“Oh he doesn’t count!” you cried out, “He was drunk and it was a party!”

“Ok then, that Ravenclaw from transfiguration, Parker Johnson, Carter Mason had the biggest crush on you in fourth year,” he said, repeatedly listing names. You threw up your hands.

“What! That’s so not true!” you said with a laugh. Sirius smiled widely at you.

“Yes, it is! You have guys falling all over you and you don’t even notice.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t believe you. Why have none of them ever said anything? And I feel like I would have noticed if that many people liked me-” your rambling was cut off by Sirius’s lips pressing against yours. Your eyes were wide and when you don’t immediately reciprocate he moved back.

“What was that for?” you whispered fervently. Sirius cleared his throat.

“Practice,” he said, “for when one of those blokes has the courage to ask you out.” You gaped at him, unsure of how to react.

“Thank you?” you said, not being able to come up with another response.

“What are friends for?” he asked with a shrug, turning to face away from you. With that one word, Sirius Black effectively shattered your heart. Friends. Whatever shimmer of hope that the chaste kiss had given you faded into oblivion, only to be replaced by the empty feeling of sadness.

The silence between you and Sirius is interrupted when James came barreling down the hall, Remus and Peter not far behind.

“We need to go now!” he shouted, grabbing your hand and pulling you away.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

“He kissed you?” Lily practically shouted from her bed. You nodded, putting your head in your hands.

“Oh my Godric!” Marlene yelled from next to Lily.

“So are you two like a thing now?” Lily asked, a wide smile across her face.

“No,” you said dejectedly, “He said it was just as friends.” Lily scoffed and shook her head.

“Men are idiots,” she said, rolling over to lay on her back. Marlene nodded in agreement.

“How was it?” Marlene asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“How was what?”

“This kiss, silly!” she exclaimed. You flushed a deep red.

“I’m not sure I have nothing to compare it to,” you said. Marlene promptly stood up and marched to your bed before planting one on you.

“Marlene!” you sputtered, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. Lily squealed with laughter at your blushing face while Marlene grinned.

“Come on, how does it compare,” she asked again, “And how was mine? I’ve always wanted to know.” You threw a pillow at her.

“I am not answering that,” you grumbled, causing Lily and Marlene to dissolve into another fit of giggles. After a moment, when your sad expression doesn’t change, Marlene sat beside you and gave you a hug.

“I’m sorry he’s being such an arse,” she said softly, “I didn’t realize how much you liked him.” You sniffled.

“Are you mad?” you asked quietly. Marlene frowned.

“Why would I be mad?” she asked.

“You and Sirius kind of have something going on, don’t you?” you said, lifting your head to look at her. Marlene laughed.

“I mean I guess, but there are no feelings involved,” she assured you, “It’s just a bit of fun. And I never would have started it if I knew that you liked him.” You hugged her tightly.

“Thank you Marls,” you said softly, relishing in her warm and comforting touch.

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

A week later and you and Sirius hadn’t talked. It appeared that he was ignoring you. You didn’t enjoy the radio silence as it made you feel even more rejected. So when your trip to Hogsmeade came around, you were surprised to see Sirius standing with your friends. He gave you a tight-lipped smile when you joined the group but didn’t speak a word to you. While the ride to the small village was lively and full of chatter, all you could focus on was Sirius’s silence.

The first stop was Honeydukes. You burrowed your way into the back of the store, searching for candies and trying to escape Sirius’s scorching gaze. You were examining a display of chocolates when you felt a presence appear beside you. You looked up to Sirius next to you.

“Thought you might like this,” he mumbled, holding out a chocolate frog like an olive branch. You smiled slightly at the gesture.

“No thank you,” you mumbled, feeling guilty.

“Oh. Sorry then,” he said, beginning to scoot away.

“Wait!” you cried out too loudly, causing Sirius to stop in his tracks. “Thank you, it was a nice thought. I just don’t like chocolate frogs,” you said shyly. Sirius frowned.

“But I thought that you loved chocolate. You’re always stealing from Remus’s stash,” he said. You blushed at the thought of him remembering such a small detail.

“I like chocolate,” you explained, “Just not chocolate frogs.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sirius said with a chuckle, leaning against a shelf.

“I have a reason,” you exclaimed, “It’s just kind of stupid.”

“Let’s hear it then,” he said, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“Don’t laugh,” you warned him, “I don’t like eating chocolate frogs because I feel like I’m killing them.” Sirius began to laugh.

“You know they’re not actually alive right?” he said in between wheezes.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!” you whined.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still chuckling.

“When they’re wiggling all around it just makes them seem too alive,” you said with a shudder.

“You’re so weird,” he said. Despite the affection clearly evident in his eyes, you frowned at the comment. “Not in a bad way,” he corrected. He cocked his head. “In an adorable way.” You ducked your head and laughed.

“Oh hush,” you said, playfully slapping his shoulder. You go up to the front to pay for your sweets, Sirius right behind you. You look around the store only to discover that your friends are nowhere to be seen.

“Where’d everybody go?” you asked Sirius. He frowned.

“It appears that we have been ditched.”

You pushed open the door, heading out into the cold to find your friends. You shivered involuntarily at the chilly weather, a thin layer of snow gracing the ground. You had borrowed Marlene’s clothing for the trip to Hogsmeade, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction from Sirius. But now you slightly regretted that decision because her clothes were far thinner than yours and you were freezing.

“Here,” Sirius said as he draped his coat over your shoulders. You smiled and looked away.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

“What are you wearing,” he asked, “You know you get cold.” You shrugged, tugging at the thin sweater.

“It’s Marlene’s,” you explained. Sirius scrunched up his nose.

“Why are you wearing her clothes? What’s wrong with your clothes?” he asked almost accusatory.

“Nothing is wrong with my clothes, I just wanted to try something new. I like how Marlene dresses,” you said.

“Do you want to try something different or do you think you need to be like Marlene?” he asked bluntly, crossing his arms. You stopped in your tracks and spun around to face him.

“Why are you acting like this?” you asked irritatedly.

“Answer the question,” he said raising his eyebrows. You scoffed.

“What are you even going on about?” you asked, avoiding his gaze. He had somehow pinpointed the exact reason that you were wearing Marlene’s clothing and you hated it. Sirius sighed and kicked some snow with his toe.

“At the party, when you were drunk, you said some things,” he revealed quietly. You felt your stomach drop.

“What did I say?” you whispered. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows.

“You said all these horrible things about yourself, saying that you wished you were like Marlene or Lily,” he answered. You sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” you mumbled, embarrassment burning in your chest. Sirius took a step closer to you.

“Don’t be sorry. I just didn’t know you felt like that. I’m worried about you, that’s all,” he said. You sighed quietly.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” you said, hoping to end the discussion there.

“Yes I do, (Y/n),” he said, “because I can see you trying to change all of these things about yourself and you shouldn’t be. You’re not boring and the way you always dress is perfect. You don’t need to change unless you want to for the right reasons. These are not the right reasons.” You sniffled, your eyes burning.

“Sirius I’m fine, I swear,” you said under your breath. Sirius ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Yes, you are fine. Fine the way you are. So stop trying to change. You’re already perfect,” he said, practically pleading with you. You scoffed.

“You’re just saying this to make me feel better,” you replied. Sirius grabbed your hands.

“I’m not, I promise. You are the most extraordinary and beautiful person I know. Don’t change for anybody but yourself,” he whispered, his hot breath fanning across your face.

“Sirius…” you breathed.

“I wish I could get you to see yourself how I see you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. You search his face, his eyes filled with sincerity. After a short moment of contemplation, you stood on your tiptoes and ghosted a kiss against his lips. Sirius immediately reciprocated, placing a hand tenderly on your waist. The kiss was miles better than your last, his lips sweet and warm and your hands tangled in his hair. When he pulled away, a gentle smile adorning his features, he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I like you, (Y/n),” he said, “The real you. The you who sits in the library on Saturdays and doesn’t know shit about quidditch and who is afraid of eating chocolate frogs. That’s the you that I want.” His eyes held just as much emotion as his words, making tears prick at the back of your eyes.

“I can be that,” you whispered. He pressed a kiss to your hairline.

“I hope someday you can love that version of you as much as I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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raspberrygyus · 2 years

Text

❛❛ Find You Again ❜❜ 02 Found you

A vague morning—there were still pieces of her dreams lingering in the back of her head. It was an odd feeling, one that made her a little more skeptical than usual. Though most of her dreams were mellow and left her feeling rather fond of the sequences that played through, this morning’s dream left her with a strange taste in her mouth, and a sense of uneasiness.

Despite the strange sensation, she managed to go about her day. Her boyfriend, Yeonjun, greeted her in the morning before having breakfast together, and for a good portion of the early morning, the two had spent it giggling about, frankly, nothing. That time of the day was reserved for just the two of them, and it had been routine for a good portion of their co-habitation.

What had started off as a non-frequent morning greeting at 7am from a loving boyfriend who gave amazing back hugs and butterfly kisses became something more frequent and a precious moment for them.

The two never talked about the diminishing hours spent together during weekdays, but it never seemed to dampen the affection they held for each other. At most, he would come home later than usual, and snuggle against her in their shared bed. At least they would always wake up together, and sometimes, that was enough for the two of them.

The two went their separate ways after breakfast. Yn’s workplace was within walking distance, and at odd times, Yeonjun would give her a ride when she was feeling lazy or running late. Yeonjun, on the other hand, worked a little further off, although not cities over, it was an acceptable distance away, needing a little over 35 minutes by car.

However, Yeonjun was feeling rather generous this morning and offered to drop her off, but yn made sure to decline politely, stating that it was better for her to just walk—they did have a rather large breakfast.

After she arrived at work, everything fell in place, and things that should happen did happen. She enjoyed her work, and despite half of the employees choosing to work from home, (which was an acceptable thing given the type of work they did,) she never felt the need to do so. The environment was good, and it was easier for her to fall into the mood as opposed to being home, where she would more often doze off.

Sleeping on the job had gotten her into a handful of trouble in the past, but the boss was lenient enough to forgive her, thank goodness. She attributed her good luck to her rather strict work habits…

The day had passed by rather quickly, and after a handful of meetings from different departments discussing what to do in the coming year, the day had slowly trickled away into a mellow late afternoon. She was sure that she ended up receiving the bulk of work for the end-of-year reports, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle.

The publisher and manager dismissed most of the employees for the day after assigning each person their designated task work and called it a year. They would resume work once the new year rolled around, with more company meetings promised on the horizon.

“Happy early new year, everybody,” the publisher cheered.

yn, with her gift in hand, (something that their supervisor had given them along with their task work,) exited the building and made her way home. Perhaps she would surprise her boyfriend by cooking his favourite meals? Or maybe arrange for something more special for the night?

She could heat rising despite it being December, and shook her head, trying to free herself of her thoughts. Maybe not…wild activities…

Ugh, she needed a break.

Just as she rounded a corner, she came crashing into another person, and the two of them ended up on the ground. It wasn’t a nasty fall, but she still felt a little ashamed of not paying attention to her surroundings, and she could imagine the look on the other person’s face.

Something like, ‘why didn’t you watch where you were going, you clumsy girl!’

But it never happened.

When yn looked up from her position on the ground, the person—or rather, the man whom she bumped into, didn’t actually look like he was out for blood. (Though maybe if it were someone else……..)

He looked awfully kind for someone who had been knocked onto the ground. With a smile on his face, he extended a hand to her to take, and being the clumsy girl that she was, yn took it, just in case she managed to mess up more….

However, as soon as their fingers touched, flashes of memories occupied her head. Scenes of the very dreams she had night after night played in her head, and she couldn’t help but clutch on to her head in pain because as abrupt as it came, each and every individual memory she had of those dreams skewered itself into her mind. Like a fast-playing video set on five times the speed, and yet, every detail was so vivid to her.

Fortunately, the pain didn’t last for long. As she slowly came around from the frantic pain, she saw that he also had a rather dazed look on his face. The reaction might have affected him, too, but she wasn’t sure as to why exactly. The look on his face suggested that he, too, had something on his mind, but it was hard to tell what, exactly.

However, it was like a switch had flipped in her head. The more she stared at him, and as she started to realize something strange about the situation she was in. The memories from the dreams, and the sudden reaction. Not to mention—he seemed to appear rather flabbergasted as well.

But the lightbulb that lit up as an effect of the switch suddenly being turned on had somehow lit up a portion of her memories that she was not aware of. The more she stared at him, the clearer it became that he looked, seemed, and even felt familiar.

But she had never met him before.

And as she slowly played the flashes of memories back, frame by frame, a clear picture started forming in her head. The slow processing of an image began to form, and every one of those memories started filling in their designated spot in the massive puzzle that had plagued her dreams for so long…

She could see, too, that something had lit up in his head, as his eyes, too, began widening in realization.

But it hadn’t clicked…not yet, at least.

The visuals were getting more and more vivid. It was like wiping the condensation off of a fogged-up window panel. As each layer began to dissipate, yn realized how far her memories reached, and how deep those dreams reached. The single string of thought connected through every dream she ever had since that day had widened, and light slowly trickled through the string connected to each and every piece of memories she ever attained.

The loving husband to the noblewoman, the affectionate duke to the commoner turned duchess, the struggling yet talented artist to his precious muse—and many more. The far-reaching memories cracked open, and finally, everything made sense.

The same man she was staring at, for all of eternity. And every time, he promised her that he would do everything he could to find her, and every lifetime, he did.

…lifetime?

Had these been her lives?

Tears welled up in her eyes—though these feelings were far from her own, she felt like she owned them.

The man who promised to find her.

And she, the one who promised to love him.

And yet…

It felt like the world suddenly vanished. And the smile on his face told her that he, too, remembered, because the next words that came out of his mouth—

“…I finally found you.”

𖥔 SYNOPSIS yn has been vividly dreaming about the lives of women she's never met, and yet, they all feel oddly familiar, almost as though she's lived through them before. Odder yet, in every dream, a vision of a man she claimed to love also exists so fondly in the women's memories.

Upon a chance encounter with a young man, memories of her past lives flash in her mind, and those oddly familiar dreams she's been having suddenly make sense.

Life presents them with two choices: will they follow their fated path and fall in love, or will their end the chain of fate?

𖥔 NOTE Happy new year, everyone! c:

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the-era-of-shadow · 2 years

Text

Letter of a Self Assigned Recruitment (And How Amy Rose Defined Herself The Mobian Way)

Written by Ash Rose Cover Art by Ash Rose

THIS STORY CONTAINS: Swearing, depiction of manipulation

(OG ver) Original publish date:

(Amino) November 5th 2020

(Fanfiction.net) February 17th 2021

(Rewrite) Original publish date:

(Amino & AO3) December 13th 2021

Amy walked out into the Sky Patrol's main room and saw that no one was there aside from Sonic, and the leader of the Freedom Fighters, if there ever was one; Princess Sally Acorn. Instantly, she felt a sense of uneasiness.

"Oh? Where is everyone?" Tails asked, coming into the room soon after Amy did.

"Tails, do you mind leaving the three of us to have a private conversation for a while?" Sally asked, her tone seeming rather kind, but having a slight tinge of anger hidden within it.

"Ah, uh- sure thing, Sal." Tails responded, taking note of how Sonic wasn't actually in one of the chairs that are usually set up with the big table in the room. Rather, he was seated in a wheelchair, and he didn't seem to enjoy it.

Amy took notice of this as well, and felt her stomach drop as she did. She noticed her eyes meeting Sonic's and felt the malice that his emerald green eyes held for her.

"Mornin, Ames. Had a bad dream last night?" Sonic said, his snarky style overshadowed by frustration.

"Not a bad one… but a weird one for sure." Amy responded, trying to keep herself from snapping at the blue hedgehog like she had last week.

"Oh really? Why don't you tell us about it, Ames?"

"Don't call me Ames." Amy scowled, feeling that Sonic had lost any right to call her any form of a pet name.

"We can talk about Amy's dream at another time. What I wanna know about right now is why you attacked Sonic like you did." Sally intercepted, getting the conversation back on track.

Amy explained the events that had occurred the week before in full, starting from when she was first contacted by Jewel, to right up to and including Amy throwing Sonic from his bedroom window. She included every detail she had to give, and pointed out that Sonic had no right to keep a secret that was ultimately Amy's to keep.

"... Amy."

She gulped at the sound of Sally's voice as she spoke her name, she couldn't quite tell if it was anger or fear, but either way it wasn't good.

"S-Sonic, are you the only one who knew of this?" To Amy's ever so slight relief, Sally had turned her attention to the other hedgehog in the room.

"No." Sonic admitted flatly.

"Wait, wha-?" Amy began to question, but she was cut off.

"It knew, too."

"It?" Sally asked, trying to pry an answer out of Sonic’s vague words.

"Shadow. They tried to tell her, time and time again, but I never let it get to her."

A long few seconds of pure silence permeated the room, until Sally finally spoke up.

"Well, I can tell that you both are upset, and going through a lot right now. Both of you need to keep separated and cool off for a while, alright?" She suggested.

"Alright." Amy immediately replied, sighing.

"... Fine. Guess I can't do much with my legs broken anyway." Sonic eventually responded.

And with that, Sonic wheeled his way out of the room. Amy was about to leave as well, but Sally called for her to stay.

"Why don't you tell me about that dream of yours?" She asked kindly.

"... Really?" Amy said back, a little shocked by her sweet tone of voice "You want to talk about that among all the things you just found out about me?"

"Of course. I believe you when you say that your heart is good, despite your genetics. If you're dealing with any forces that might be trying to corrupt you, I want to spot them early and keep you safe from them." Sally explained.

Amy understood, and thanked Sally for being understanding.

"Hey, Tails."

"What's up, Sonic?"

There was a bit of silence before Sonic spoke again.

"How is it that you keep holding on for that girl of yours?" He asked.

"You mean Cosmo?"

"Yeah, Cosmo. She's got some blame in all this too, doesn't she?"

"A bit, I guess." Tails responded, their voice quivering slightly.

"So how do you keep believing in her to do better?" Sonic asked again. "Why try to keep holding on to a lost cause?"

"She's not a lost cause-! She… I know she can be a great person. I saw it in her from the beginning. That kind, genuine interest in our world, that sincere sweetness towards us, I know it has to be there still…" Tails tried to explain.

"Aren't you worried about her betraying you?"

"Betraying me?"

"Like… like I was…?" Sonic started to tear up slightly.

"... This isn't really about Cosmo, is it?" Tails inferred. Sonic reluctantly nodded. "Look. We were all betrayed by Shadow-"

"But you don't get it, Tails! They were just a friend to you, to Amy, to Sally… but to me…" Sonic's teary eyes graduated to full on sobbing. "I loved Shadow, Tails! I loved them so much… I…"

Tails placed their hand on Sonic's shoulder, not saying a word as he sobbed quietly.

"I don't want to be betrayed like that ever again…" Sonic admitted.

"So why are you being so cruel to Amy?" Tails asked.

"I... I don't know…" Sonic answered, hanging his head down in shame.

Tails gave their buddy a hug before leaving him.

"I hope you figure out an answer soon, before you push her away completely."

Silence.

"I'll come let you know when breakfast is ready, okay?"

Sonic nodded slightly, still facing away from Tails.

As Tails walked out from Sonic’s room, they noticed that a lot more of the Freedom Fighters were awake and moving about the Sky Patrol now, including the little bug friend from the newly integrated Freedom Trainees subdivision, Jewel, who had begun to make breakfast for everyone. Before they could say anything to Jewel or the other new team members, however, they were approached by Amy, who seemed displeased.

"Something the matter, Amy?"

"Ah, it's just… I'm betting this isn't the letter Cosmo was talking about, was it?" She sighed.

"Uhm.. let me see." They said, outstretching their hand to Amy. Amy handed the letter to Tails, and accidentally gave Tails a papercut in the process.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" Amy began to apologize, but Tails stopped her.

"I know you didn't. It's fine."

Tails looked through the letter as Amy went to get them a band-aid.

"Dear Amy,

You may not know me, but I know of you. I've been searching for you ever since I first came to this planet. I knew you were here, I saw you in the news, but you always seemed just out of reach.

As the only survivor from our late mother's colony, you are like an endangered animal to me. I want to protect you, as a brother should.

So I write to you, hoping that we may finally find each other, and prosper in the memory of our mother.

If you find this message, then meet me in Station Square, and I will bring you home.

Your loving brother, Yuki"

Amy noticed Tails' upset expression upon their face.

"I know right? Those monsters really meant it when they said that our scuffle in Starlight City wasn't the end, huh?" She lamented.

"... Yeah.."

"But hey, that letter from Cosmo's friend will probably cheer us up, huh?"

".. A-Amy I-" Tails tried to sputter out a response, before getting unceremoniously cut off.

"AAAAMY GET YA PINK BUTT OVER HERE!"

It was Knuckles, seeming much more energetic than usual. By his side was Espio Inage, Knuckles' mild mannered boyfriend, snickering to himself. Amy rushed to the two's side, wondering what Knuckles had called for her for.

"Last week was a real big mind fuck! So I was thinking… How about the three of us go out for a fun-day?" He explained.

"It was my idea, after seeing how stressed out Knuckles was in the aftermath of it all." Espio added.

"So that's why you went right back to Angel Island after the big battle, right-?" Amy asked. She stopped herself right at the tail end of the sentence, however, realizing that such a fact meant…

"Wait, so you weren't here when-" Tails began to say, before being cut off, Knuckles offering them to come with. Tails, knowing that they had things to say to both Amy and Knuckles, accepted the offer, hoping that they'd get the chance to speak to them during their adventures.

"Sweet! Where do you wanna go first, Ames?" Knuckles asked.

"Well, there's this lovely restaurant in Starlight City I've heard serves a great breakfast!" Amy responded. "I wonder if it's close enough to get a look at what damage we did to those fuckers' former headquarters…"

High in the skies, the Aerth Temple ship of the Black Arms has taken flight once more, after being put out of commission after the first time they tried invading this planet. From within it's halls, one of the surviving Black Arms was quietly pacing about, clearly having something on his mind.

"Yuki, sweetheart, you have to be more patient..."

"I-I know, but I'm worried, you know? I'm worried that-"

"That blue hedgehog took your letter from her before she could read it?"

"Yes! Thank you, Rea-"

"Still haven't heard back from Amy, huh?" The sudden sound of Shadow's voice caught Yuki's attention and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Amy?" The commotion caught Eclipse’s attention as well, getting them to come out of their makeshift laboratory to investigate the matter.

"The pink hedgehog hybrid we fought back at our old living quarters. She's Yuki's half sister, correct?" Shadow explained.

"Correct…" Yuki skittishly confirmed.

"Half sister? Well then, would that not make her my half… cousin..? Anyway, the point is that I want to help you bring her here!"

"Really, you'd do that for me, Eclipse?" Yuki said, surprised.

"Of course!" Eclipse said with pride.

"Oh wow, whatever happened to the Eclipse that didn't want to start any unnecessary drama for us, huh?" Shadow teased. Which got Eclipse riled up, fighting back, and eventually causing a whole on argument, with a side of play fighting.

"Those two never really stopped being rivals, huh..?"

"Guess not."

"But hey, it doesn't look like they're trying to kill each other, so that's good, right?"

"I… I guess?"

Yuki continued to pace the halls of the ancient airship as Shadow and Eclipse fought, looking around aimlessly as he did. Eventually, he looked down and noticed Amy among a group of friends walking down the streets.

"Well would you look at that! It's your lucky day, Yuk!"

"Guys! Look! It's Amy, right below us!" Yuki shouted, catching the attention of the rivaling ultimate lifeforms.

"And so it seems it is!" Shadow agreed.

Eclipse seemed silent for a minute, before declaring that they had a plan.

"You do? What is it?" Yuki asked.

Eclipse pointed out the three friends that were with Amy, and noted that she seemed to trust those friends. They devised that the three of them shall shapeshift into a mimicry of Amy's friends, and infiltrate while she's alone, alluring her to the temple, where they can make her into the loyal Black Arms vanguard they felt she should be. Eclipse's plan was truly brilliant, but there was only one problem, neither Shadow nor Yuki knew how to shapeshift!

"Really? I was taught by my Masters right after I was created! I was told that it's a part of every Black Arms' duty to learn how as soon as they can!" Eclipse said with surprise.

"It's customary for most, yes, but even when being raised by Black Death, I was expected to become a political figurehead like my mother before me, so I was left ignorant of many things that are usually seen as essential for any Black Arms to know for warfare, such as shapeshifting." Yuki explained thoroughly.

"And you, Shadow? You might have been seen as Lord Doom's heir, but as the Ultimate Life Form, surely you were effectively trained for battle, no?" Eclipse asked.

"I must have known at some point, but I lost my knowledge of the ability when I fell to Aerth after fighting the Biolizard. It's the only thing of my past I haven't recovered yet." Shadow responded mournfully, quietly weeping for what it had lost.

"I see, I see. Well, I'd be happy to teach you both." Eclipse offered.

"I'd love to relearn, but it'll have to be on another day." Shadow said.

"Oh?"

"My mom, Queen Widow, has asked me to stay on the ship and keep an eye out for any threats, so I cannot be a part of your plan, as much as I wish I could play a personal part in bringing Miss Rose into our ranks." It explained.

"Are you sure? I'm sure that she'll understand!" Yuki insisted.

"I'm sure she would, but I must carry out the responsibilities I'm given, it's simply what a leader does, right?" Shadow explained further, staying firm in their stance.

"Leader?" Yuki said, confused.

"Of course! As-"

"As Eclipse said, I'm Lord Doom's heir. Now that he's gone, I must take their place." Shadow responded, interrupting Eclipse.

"Oh my~! You've been communing with him quite a lot over the last week, I presume?" Eclipse asked light-heartedly, pleasantly surprised.

"Noooooo, what gave you that idea?" Shadow answered sarcastically.

"Well, I think you'll be a wonderful leader, Shadow." Yuki said.

"You… You really think so?" Shadow felt its face getting warm from Yuki's words.

"Y-yeah!" Yuki's face began to get warm as well.

Shadow sheepishly thanked him and went off to go observe another area of the large ship before anything else could be said.

"Yuki, I assume that you're interested in my plan?" Eclipse asked bluntly.

"Yeah, of course! Do we have a backup since Shadow’s out?"

"Of course I do. I always have a plan B, Yuki."

As noon was soon approaching, Amy, Knuckles, Espio and Tails were walking down the streets of Starlight City, all with a bag or two of leftovers from their breakfast together in their hands, all, except for Amy, anyway.

"You have quite the appetite, don't you Rose?" Espio said teasingly.

"She sure does! She's always been a heavy eater, right from the day Sonic introduced her to Tails and I back in '02!" Knuckles answered, chuckling afterwards.

"Ya know, I have, haven't I? Must be something with the ol' genes!" Amy added.

The three laughed as Tails stared off into the distance. They took note of a piece of paper flying in the wind, reminding them of the letter from that morning.

"Ah, Amy…!" Tails suddenly blurted, getting the pink hedgehog's attention.

"Huh? What is it?"

"About that letter this morning-"

"Oh, yeah, that. If those assholes show up here, I'm gonna be really pissed!" Amy pouted, unintentionally summoning her hammer. She only noticed it after Knuckles pointed it out, and it's presence brought much confusion to the entire group.

"You can summon that at will?" asked Espio.

"Didn't Eclipse break your hammer??" asked Knuckles.

"The paint job on your hammer! It's changed!" noted Tails.

Amy looked at her hammer, and noticed that on each of the rims of the end points was a blue strip that wasn't there before. She thought back to her dream, remembering how the umbrella she had in the dream had transformed into her hammer.

"... My mom must have repaired it." She muttered.

"Your mom?" Tails asked, confused.

"Last night… I had a dream, and I encountered a ghost, claiming to be the spirit of my late mother… She said she had gotten the help of Chaos to have another chance, so she may help me defeat the Black Arms…" Amy explained.

"Did she resemble a water droplet?" Knuckles questioned.

"Yeah! W-why-?"

"Just making sure you didn't get tricked!"

"The spirit of Knuckles' ancestor, Tikal, is like that as well, and both of us know for certain that she's loyal to Chaos." Espio explained Knuckles' reasoning "Because the two are, in a sense, two gods of the same dominion, followers of Black Doom are known to lie about being followers of Chaos to go undetected."

"Just like Cherry Blossom…"

"Huh? What are you talking about, Tails?" Amy questioned.

Tails realized that they had backed themself into a corner. They couldn't hesitate any longer with the information they carried. Now was the time to speak the full, uncensored truth, just like their father had done for them so many years ago.

"Amy… that letter from this morning…" Tails sputtered, trying to make themself heard. "That was the letter from Cosmo's friend."

It was like the whole world was in shock, the silence was deafening. Amy looked at Tails, confused and afraid.

"I'm sorry for being uninformed but… May I ask about this "letter" you two keep talking about?" Espio asked, breaking the silence.

"I-... Amy, Tails, what happened after I left?" Knuckles asked softly. Suddenly, two words came back to his memory.

"Half blood"

"What happened after I left??" He suddenly blurted, repeating himself.

Tails saw the look of terror on Amy's face and took her hand, trying to silently tell her that they'd protect her the best they could.

"If she doesn't mind me speaking about it so bluntly…" Amy picked up on what Tails meant and gave them a nod "Amy's part Black Arms, and the letter was one of the Black Arms trying to get her to join them-"

"The Black Arms have returned??" Espio asked suddenly.

"They've BEEN back!" Knuckles answered, his tone becoming angrier due to stress.

"They have?? How come you knew that and I didn't??"

"Because when Team Dark dragged me into that bullshit, I didn't want you or the others to get hurt, Espio!! THAT'S WHY I LEFT THE CHAOTIX IN THE FIRST PLACE! TO PROTECT YOU!! TO PROTECT ALL OF YOU!!" Knuckles started to sob a bit after he spoke. Espio pulled him into a hug.

"I… I appreciate that, honey…"

"... But now we are together… so I can't hide it from you anymore." Knuckles said softly "We have to work together again." He added.

"As a couple should.." Espio said, agreeing.

"Why would Cosmo have anything to do with that, though…?" Amy asked Tails.

"Ah… Well… The Seedrians have always had ties back to the Black Arms… They created the Seedrians, for some purpose… I don't think anyone but themselves know. But the former Prime Minister of the Seedrians, Cherry Blossom, supposedly declared independence from the Black Arms about 100 years ago and settled on their own planet that they called "Green Gate", nearly everyone believed this story."

"The story of Cherry Blossom… I think I've heard that one through the grape vines." Espio noted.

"I bet you have, I'm sure Knuckles has too, considering the importance the Echidna tribe had to just about everyone." Tails responded "That was the story my dad told me on the night Shadow killed Black Doom..."

"But during that time, there was a trial being held that my dad was in. The Metarex had attacked Green Gate shortly after being devastated by the Black Arms, and now the leader of the Metarex and Cherry Blossom were on the trial grounds, discussing if what the Metarex leader had done was a war crime. They would've gotten prosecuted, if it wasn't for my dad. From what he told me… He used my words to him on that night to expose Cherry's lies. Whatever way he did it… it was exposed that the Seedrians were still allies of the Black Arms, and for that, Cherry was executed."

"... Then why are you still with Cosmo?" Amy shyly asked, trying to not be rude.

"Because I believe in her to be better. I've seen her be a good person… I think she can be saved." Tails explained.

Amy began tearing up and hugged Tails, explaining to them that she resonated with what they thought of Cosmo, and thanked them for having hope in people like Cosmo, in people like Amy…

"No problem… I like to believe in others just as much as I believe in myself… it's just what I feel is the only way… for me, anyway." Tails explained.

After such a heavy moment, everyone agreed that Amy desperately needed some sort of comfort, and after coming across a shop containing various magickal items, they all decided that this place would be where she would find such comfort. They let her go in on her own so as to not drag her down, and went off to find a light lunch.

"Excellent! Now she's all alone!" Eclipse said excitedly.

"Which one am I supposed to be again?" Yuki asked.

"You're the purple one. I'm the red one, Rhy's the yellow one, isn't that right sweetie?"

Rhygenta cooed happily as she slipped into Eclipse’s hand, ready to give her headpats.

"You've got this Yuki…"

"Yeah! Go get that girl!"

"She's my sister, Rea, no need to be like that…"

"Oops-"

Everyone else chuckled slightly before focusing back onto Amy.

Soon enough, Amy came out of the store, carrying two somewhat largish looking bags. She sat down at the curb, waiting for her friends to return.

"Amy!"

"Oh! Hey Knux! No luck with finding lunch, huh?" Amy said, having a slightly off feeling, but unwisely chalking it up to all the craziness from earlier.

"Yeah, all the best places were closed up. Must have something to do with the damage we did while fighting those bad guys!" "Tails" added.

"Aww… that's a shame."

"Do you want me to carry your bags?" "Espio" asked Amy.

"Oh! I mean, I was fine carrying them on my own, but sure thing!" Amy responded, handing "Espio" the bags.

"Woah!! Look at all the cool stuff you got!" "Tails" exclaimed as they looked into one of the bags.

"Yeah! I got some new gemstones, some study books, and a much needed reef!" Amy explained, holding up a card "After all, after all the years he's lied to me, I think I deserve some reparations!" She added, showing the card off, revealing it as Sonic's credit card, which got a hearty chuckle out of everyone.

"Now, how about we start heading back?" "Espio" asked.

"To the Sky Patrol?"

"Yeah!"

"Dang Espio, you're more peppy than usual! What's got you all excited?"

"Uhmmmmmmmmm…" "Espio" looked at "Knuckles" and then back at Amy. "We have a surprise for you back at the Sky Patrol!"

Amy had a slightly off feeling about how her "friends" were acting, but foolishly set those feelings aside, not wanting to face them. Today was going to be a nice, normal day. She was sure of it. She was sure of it when she excitedly ran through the streets and field, following the lead of her "friends". She was sure of it even though the path they were taking didn't lead to the Sky Patrol. She was sure of it, all until she heard a cry from behind her.

The sound of Tails calling out to her with fear, the real Tails. Knuckles and Espio were with them too, racing to her, afraid and confused. Amy was confused too, so pulled away from "Knuckles", only for her arm to be grasped tightly by "Espio".

"Please… I can explain..! I-I just want a piece of my family, M-my… o-our sister- I don't know where she i-is! Our m-mother- sh-she's dead!! Please… Amy…" "Espio" begged, dropping the act in all but looks.

"You… You must be Yuki…" Amy said, quickly becoming enraged.

"I-I… I'm sorry for lying to you…" Yuki muttered quietly.

"Let her go, you imposters!" Knuckles demanded.

"Reveal yourselves!" Espio added.

Yuki immediately complied with Espio's demand, but did not let go of Amy's arm. Instead, he took off to the base, pulling Amy along with him. Knuckles, Espio and Tails all tried to chase after him, but they found themselves blocked by none other than Eclipse.

Knuckles did not hesitate to attack at Eclipse, throwing his hand at their face.

"Alright sweetheart, you know the drill."

Suddenly, Knuckles was blinded by a sudden flash of light, and knocked backwards by the blast of a sonic boom. Espio jumped into the fight, defending Knuckles as best as he could, while Tails slipped away to find Yuki and Amy.

"Let go of me!!" Amy cried angrily, but Yuki refused.

"I'll tell you everything when we make it home." He would respond to any sign of resistance she made.

Soon enough however, Amy managed to break free of Yuki's grip, raising her hands to the sky, intending to summon her hammer.

"Wh… why isn't it-"

"Amy! Grab on!" Tails yelled out, flying above Amy's head. She grabbed Tails' hand without a second thought, relieved to have a way out of the situation despite the technical difficulties with her hammer. But then, she felt a tug on her leg. Looking down, she saw that Yuki had managed to still keep a grasp on Amy.

"Please don't go! We're family! We have to stick to-!" Yuki tried to cry out, but Amy interrupted him.

"You are NOT my family. My family are the friends I have here with me, and I won't let you take me away from my family!!" Amy responded before kicking Yuki off of her, letting him fall to the ground with a hard thump. She felt a pain in her chest as she heard the sound, she felt some sort of urge to check if he was….

But she didn't. She let Tails carry her back over the trees, to the Sky Patrol. Until she noticed something from the corner of her eye.

Someone.

"Tails, let me down here. We aren't done here yet." She said, sternly, but with hope. Hope that she could… for Whisper.

She pinned them against a tree, finally being able to summon her hammer, and snarled at them.

"Miss Rose! Have you perhaps changed your mind~?"

"Never in a million years. I'm here for her wisps."

Eclipse frowned, seeing Amy's unwavering heroism. But then, suddenly, they had a truly despicable idea.

"Okay. I'll give them back." Amy seemed shocked, but relieved "On the condition that I get to make YOU into a Dark Arm instead!"

Amy felt her chest tighten as Eclipse tugged on her jacket, pulling her down to see Tails' face, filled with absolute horror. She knew that Whisper's wisps mean a lot to her, and that she'd be absolutely heartbroken if she lost her wisps, possibly forever. But at the same time… could the Freedom Fighters take another betrayal? How would they possibly handle another situation like with Shadow? Could they even handle such a thing?

Amy looked at Tails, and shed a tear…

She threw Eclipse off of her, not even giving them the closure of a verbal response, instead opting to give them a simple death glare.

"... What a shame." Eclipse mumbled "I hope to know how she reacts when she finds out that her precious little sweethearts were irreversibly corrupted, all because you refused to let go of your sacred humanity…" They added, their look of disappointment contorting into a menacing smirk as they chuckled evilly.

Amy started to tremble slightly, but Tails quickly grabbed her hand, which calmed her down. Amy took Tails's other hand, and together they took off to go find their other friends, Eclipse waving them farewell, that menacing grin still on their face, before taking off to fulfill their part of the deal.

"Ah! Sorry, Tangle! Looks like you've gotta go alllllll the way back home!" Lux said in a cheeky tone, getting Tangle to playfully pout as she placed her game piece where Tangle’s once was. Tangle couldn't help but end the act when Jewel and Whisper started chuckling, however.

"Aw man! That was the only piece I had out on the board!" Tangle complained sarcastically.

"Well then, hopefully fate will give you a lift outta' pity!" Lux retorted, blowing Tangle a kiss, making her face go completely red.

Whisper noticed Amy enter the Sky Patrol, looking disheveled and tired.

"Oh.. hey Amy..! Are you okay-?"

Amy's eyes quelled up with tears as they met Whisper's, which then ran down her cheeks in quick succession as she ran to her room. Whisper got up from her seat and followed Amy, telling the other Freedom Trainees to stay where they were.

"Amy..?" Whisper said quietly as she opened the door. Amy saw her and hugged her tightly while sobbing.

"I'M SO SORRY WHISPER I REALLY TRIED TO GET THEM BACK I REALLY DID-"

"H-huh…? What are you talking about…?" Whisper got herself and Amy into Amy's room and seated the both of them on her bed.

"I… I… Your wisps… We could've gotten them back… B-But… B-But…"

"But…?"

"I didn't w-want everyone to go through another b-betrayal!!" Amy blurted.

"... Um… I don't really understand fully… what you're talking about but…" Whisper hugged Amy "I forgive you…"

Amy looked at Whisper, bewildered.

"Why…? Why are you forgiving me…?"

"Well… I guess… The universe just wanted me to let go of that last bit of Mimic I had haunting me…" Whisper explained.

"Mimic?"

"He was like a father to me… Until he ratted our friends out and abandoned me for Robotnik, that is…" She added "The wisps were originally his… before I took them with me when I left him…"

"... You're just telling me that to make me feel better, aren't you?" Amy asked, giggling slightly.

"K-kinda… I… I guess..?" Whisper said, giggling a bit as well "I mean, all of that's true and all but… but… but…" Whisper paused for a second to collect her words "I will miss the wisps… though…"

"I know…" Amy muttered "But at least I tried…"

"That's the… the best thing you c-can really do sometimes… T-try…" Whisper said, smiling at Amy, hugging her. Amy hugged her back.

"Hey, Tails, Do you think we should check the mailbox again? All I found when I last checked was a piece of fan mail for Sonic. He said that it was from that "Dang Werehog Fangirl" or whatever…" Tangle said, walking over to them as they looked into Amy's room.

"Oh goodness… Sonic just can't outrun little ol' Queenie, can he?" Tails chuckled "But uh… Don't worry about that. Amy and I got the letter we were waiting for before we left."

"Really? What did it say?"

"Eh… I'll tell ya later… Right now, I just need a break." Tails admitted as they walked off to their room.

"HEY! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CREDIT CARD??"

Epilouge

Just as Amy was getting ready to go to bed, she was somewhat blinded by a blue-ish light. She turned around to see what the source of this light was, and saw the guilt stricken face of her mother's ghost.

"Oh, hi mom!" Amy said.

"Ah, Amy… I'm terribly sorry for earlier…"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Your h-hammer not appearing when you summoned it… that was my doing…" Tsunami explained, but that only made Amy more confused "I just didn't want to see my children fighting each other…"

"Oh, I get that!" Amy replied "Tails helped me get out of there regardless, so it's really not a big deal."

"But what if they weren't there?? You would've been-"

"Look, it was a lapse in judgement!" Amy started to respond.

"I do that a lot, it seems…"

"But everything turned out okay, so don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

".... okay."

Amy smiled and got her pajamas on.

"I wasn't that good of a mom to Yuki and Trixie, I'll admit. I wanna do better with you, Amy." Tsunami started to talk again.

"Wait, back up, who's Trixie?" Amy asked, confused.

"Yuki's little sister, your half sister. I had her shortly before I was given Little Planet…" Tsunami explained.

"Oh… Yeah… Yuki mentioned something about a sister."

"... I hate the Black Arms, I hate everything it stands for… But I also want my children to be happy… All of them…"

Suddenly, a thought came to Amy's mind.

"What if we brought Yuki and Trixie to our side?" She suggested.

"Do you… do you think that could work?"

"It's worth a shot, right?" Amy said with determination. Tsunami nodded "But that'll be another time… I'm tired." Amy admitted bluntly.

"Yes… get some rest my little Rose…"

With that, Amy curled up to bed, and fell asleep, hoping that her plans might just work out, and that she gets to actually rest the next day.

#teos #the era of shadow #sonic au #sonic fanfiction #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #espio the chameleon #tails prower #eclipse the darkling #knuxpio #amy tag #knuckles tag #tails tag #eclipse tag #yuki tag #rhygenta tag #writing tag #undescribed

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unprofessional-bard · 3 years

Text

Cat and... Wolf?

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Request: hey! could you do a bigby wolf x shy but criminal reader? thank you!

+ shy criminal reader req anon here! i was thinking that the reader could be snooping around the office, trynna steal some High Profile folders and bigby is all 👀 gotcha now Bitch

Pairing: Bigby Wolf x Reader

Warnings: Nothing really- this piece is for reader's of all genders!

Summary: It's a game of cat and mouse, but between you and Bigby? It's the same, only he's no mouse.

Word Count: 1.750

Author's Note: The reader is ought to be a fable, so what better fable could there be for this scenario, if not an actual cat? I made the reader into Puss in Boots, I know that the author is Straparola and not the Grimms, but bare with me! It fits so well 😖 I hope you like this, anon! and let's pretend Bigby's office has a window...

Enjoy!

"Oh look, a cat!" Snow White kneels beside your original form, completely unsuspecting and scratches the back of your head. You headbutt her palm and purr loudly, trying to appear as normal as any other cat. "How'd you end up here...?"

"I thought stray animals weren't allowed in," Bigby comments, sensing something in your scent, but then immediately realises the mistake he's made, before Snow gets up and smirks back.

"Really? Do pigs count? Wolves?" She smiles and Bigby sighs loudly. "It's okay, it probably got in because of the cold."

It's a snowy, cold December evening. They leave chatting, but Bigby gives you a final look over his shoulder -over the sleeve of his coat- before they exit the apartment. You stay there for another few minutes for good measure and once they're out of sight, you start making your way up the stairs, to the floor where his office is.

You were being paid very well, for doing this - stealing the criminal file of the man who hired you. It was extra risky, sneaking into the sheriff's office; you could possibly get ripped apart because of this, or thrown down the Witching Well, but he was planning on paying you so well...

You hear just one person walking around the floor as you quietly trot towards Bigby's office and that someone turns out to be Flycatcher. Tsk, too easy, you smirk to yourself; stretch, yawn and meow.

"Huh?" Flycatcher turns around and notices you clawing at Bigby's door. "Hey there, little fellow. You wanna go in there?" You almost nod, then remember you're not supposed to understand him, so you meow loudly instead, then rub against his legs. "Uh, I don't think I should let you in..."

You're practically screaming at him at this point, clawing more and more at the door and jumping up toward the knob; it takes him a while, but your cries finally work their magic as he groans: "Okay, okay! Just don't take your piss in there, the sheriff will kill me if he finds out I let you in..."

You purr loudly and headbutt the sides of his calf as he twists open the lock to Bigby's office. This is going pretty smoothly, you think to yourself and as soon as he opens the door, you run into the dark, cigarette-smelling room. Flycatcher's saying some stuff to you, but you're too busy figuring out where the sheriff keeps all the files of the fables with criminal records, that you don't listen to a single word he says.

Once you're curled up on top of his desk, closing your eyes to "sleep", Flycatcher feels less guilty because you're just a harmless cat who wants to sleep in Bigby's office, what could go wrong?

Tsk.

You hear him leave, but still wait like that for another minute... for good measure. Once he enters the elevator and the floor goes quiet, you transform into your human form. You quickly light Bigby's table lamp and move in front of the sets of drawers to your right, but then turn around and notice you hadn't found a way out yet. That proves easy too, fortunately, a window on the other side of the wall- a big one. Your grin grows wider as you slide open the window and check the height for your drop: It's a long one, but the large trees in the park should allow you to land smoothly. You walk back and immediately begin digging through the messy pile of documents.

"Ugh, typical," You sigh quietly, annoyed at how unorganised Bigby was. No alphabetical order, no proper placement: Just files on top of others.

You and him had a brief history. It's not exactly romantic per se, not on your aspect anyway, you'd like to think. You liked playing around with him, he seemed to have a soft spot for you and, maybe -just maybe- you had one for him, but not as obvious and strong as his. You two followed entirely different lifestyles: You everything you did was somehow always against the law and, well, Bigby is the law. It would never work anyway...

Your brows furrow, Focus!

After a few minutes, you finally find the file and raise it up in triumph after closing the drawer. You want to take a peek, see what the man had done- his file was very thin, what could've he possibly done, that made him ask such a risky thing of you?

Just as you're debating, you suddenly hear urgent steps walk out of the elevator and immediately recognize them.

Ah, fuck...

You quickly hide the file into your coat and turn around right before he opens the door. A vague smirk appears on your lips and Bigby crosses his arms: "Should'a known that was you."

"Hi, sheriff," Your expression is calm and somewhat shy, if not a little mischievous.

"What are you doing here?" He growls by the doorway, not moving an inch from his place while you slowly make your way to the window.

"I wanted to see you," You lie, voice quiet, then bite on your bottom lip. He made you feel a little too nervous for your liking, for many reasons... and he knew every single one of them.

"You always were good at lying," He sighs in defeat, going soft at the sight of your reddening cheeks. It takes him a while to separate your emotions, whether you're actually nervous or not - why you're nervous, because of lying or because of him? Both?

You can't help but feel a little offended at his words and he sees that, which in turn makes him feel a little guilty. "Well," You say, tone giving away how you were feeling, but also giving away your urgency to get out of there: "I was about to leave anyway."

"What's the hurry?" It's his turn to smirk as he slowly rounds the table. You both make your way to the window and it's a little unsettling, but you fight to not give it away.

"I said I was here to see you," You reply quietly. "I saw you, now I'm leaving."

"Hm?" He's toying with you and you realise he might've, with very low possibility, caught you this time. You still had tricks under your sleeve, though.

"You're clearly not happy to see me, no point on waiting around-" You sit yourself on the edge of the window, but he suddenly steps in front of you, looking down into your eyes and crossing his arms again.

"Oh, I don't think so," He grins. "I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you..."

"You sure looked like it," You pout a little. Exaggerating your mimics sometimes worked with him. Sometimes.

"I-" He huffs. "It's been a long day, (Y/N)."

The way he says your name like that, softly, almost makes you purr. You offer a small smile: "It's good to see you, Bigby."

"You too," He gives you a meaningful look. You almost wanted to give yourself up, return the file and somehow 'go back to the old days', but your prize and Bigby now working for Snow put too many things at risk. If only it were as simple as that...

You had to get out of there, fast.

You look up to him with your signature smile, the one that made his heart melt when you first met: It's vague, the message behind it is unclear, but it's a sweet little gesture: "I heard Snow took over, how are you handling that?"

He lights a cigarette and you impatiently wait for his reply, formulating your plan to get out of there- an exit: "Can't say I enjoy it to the core... Used to be easier when-"

"When you played by your own rules?" You grin at him and after putting his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray, he walks back over to you.

"More or less," He scratches the back of his neck and stands to your left. "Look. Knowing you, there's always more to it than just I wanted to see you." His soft expression suddenly turns into one of worry: "Are you in trouble?"

"No, no," You reassure him. "Nothing of the sorts. Not yet, anyway..." You bite your lip again. "Well, I'm going to assume you were off to some place but I'm keeping you?"

He doesn't say anything, just sighs and you know you're right. He looks like he doesn't want you to leave, but he's also on alert. After your last encounter, he knows he can't give into you - he knows he shouldn't trust you and listen to Snow's warnings about how you're just a thief who's using him.

Most of it was true, but you still -after all your time with Bigby- cared about him. There were a lot of people who wanted to hurt the sheriff, even after he caught the Crooked Man and restored justice, somewhat; you made sure to stay away from those jobs - jobs that aimed to hurt Bigby, even in the slightest.

The disappearance of an unimportant, forgotten criminal record wasn't one of them, though.

"Call me sometime, sheriff," You get up to be on his level, boldly cupping his cheek and caressing it with your thumb. He seems enchanted- under your magic as he leans into your touch and slowly grabs your hand in his. After a moment of peace and quiet, when you hear the familiar footsteps of Snow White approaching, you lean in further and whisper: "Don't be a stranger."

You can't tell if it was him who leaned in or you, but you placed a shy, teasing kiss on his lips. You soon realise it doesn't matter who leaned in first, as he kisses you back with a little more yearning and urgency, his hands cupping the sides of your face.

Just then, you hear his door opening and you part immediately, his hands lingering in your hair. Snow probably- no, definitely saw you two share a kiss, but before she can say anything, you jump out of the window. Bigby's heart drops in panic, reaches to catch you, but soon realises you transformed to your normal form mid-air and sighs, a faint smile on his lips.

"Who was that? What's going on?" Snow inquires, hands on her hips, looking very displeased.

But Bigby's smile only grows as his fingertips trace his cheek, where you touched him seconds ago, then he finally replies: "An old friend."

#the wolf among us #bigby wolf #bigby wolf x reader #twau x reader #the wolf among us x reader #bigby wolf imagine #twau imagine #the wolf among us imagine #twau fanfiction #twau fanfic #bigby wolf fanfic #the wolf among us fanfiction

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winterscaptain · 3 years

Text

long shot.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic - no context required

a/n: this is in response to this ask in kind of a loose way, and also fulfills kiss prompt #6 (on a falling tear). i sat down and wrote this all in one sitting this weekend and it makes me smile SO MUCH. tell me what you think! i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it :) this one takes place in au!december 2012

words: 2.3k warnings: alcohol use/mention, allusions to sex, language

summary: “i couldn’t have dreamed you into existence because i didn’t even know i needed you. you must have been sent to me.” - kamand kojouri

It’s a rare early night off in December and you all make the ill-advised choice to go to the bar closest to the base for some drinks and dancing, completely forgetting that academy graduation is tomorrow.

There’s part of you that feels aged by the whole thing. Even newly-minted agents your own age look fresh-faced and about a decade younger than you feel.

When you all walk in, there’s a bit of a hush, a lull, in the conversations around you. You find eyes on you from all directions and realize your faces are familiar ones, and in the case of Aaron and Dave, almost-famous ones.

Aaron pulls you further into him, almost shielding you with his body as you navigate through the crowd that parts before you. It seems like an eternity before you find a table, but Derek, Aaron, and Spencer hold down the fort while the rest of you manage drinks. Strategic postings at either end of the bar is likely going to get you the best return, so you fan out accordingly.

It’s unsurprising in the least when the bartenders make a beeline for you all, getting your orders down and drinks started over the shouts of NATs - many of them already blasted with three or four shots under their belt.

While you wait, you can still feel a fair few pairs of eyes on you. You meet one pair, set in the face of a rather handsome new agent about your age. He smiles at you, and you shift your eyes away from him, your expression unmoving.

He apparently takes that as invitation enough. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him as he winds his way to your side.

You meet Aaron’s eyes across the room, and there’s a smile in them. You offer the smallest twitch of your lips and a wink. Watch this.

Oh, I’m watching, his eyebrows say.

“Hi.” The young agent finally reaches your side and offers his hand. You take it. “Agent Mark Sullivan.”

You smile thinly and introduce yourself. “So, I take it you’ve just received an assignment?”

He laughs, making an attempt at charm. “Alright. You’re a profiler,” he says with confidence. “What gave me away?” It’s a challenge.

It’s also a long shot. A really really long shot.

There were plenty of people in the vicinity that would be reeled in by his warm smile and handsome jawline, but your fine man (currently sprawled back in his chair with an arm on the back of the chair and a hand over his mouth to cover his smile) stands head and shoulders above the rest, sometimes literally.

“Well,” you start, making a show of eyeing him from head to toe, “Your papers are still in your pocket and you’ve left your ID tag on, against academy and bureau regulations.”

He startles and snatches it off his lapel, tucking it into his pocket.

With a little smile, you soothe his embarrassment - it’s a play only designed to endear yourself to him. “It tells me you’re proud, excited. I felt the same way when I received my assignment and credentials. It’s a significant accomplishment.”

You can’t quite tell in the irregular darkness in the room, but he looks almost like he’s blushing. “Thanks.” He collects himself after a moment, putting his bravado back on.

Your eyes flicker to Hotch once, twice. He’s still watchful. Amused.

“So, I was lucky enough to see your lectures with the BAU and I must say...it’s impressive.”

He says that like it’s some kind of validation.

I need validation from this clown like I need a hole in the head.

“Thanks. I’m usually rather modest, but I think it’s alright to say the BAU is a very fine unit.” If you’re honest, you’re talking about one particular unit chief’s...um...unit, specifically, but that’s neither here nor there.

He smirks. “What would you say if I told you I got a placement on one of the BAU teams?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Really? That’s quite the accomplishment.” A pair of arms wind around you and a kiss is pressed to your temple.

It would also be a lie.

You smile and flip in Aaron’s arms, completely ignoring poor Mark. “I was just getting you a drink,” you explain, gesturing vaguely to the bar behind you.

“I see. Did you get me -”

“Double scotch, neat, aged at least fifteen years? Yes, sir.”

He smiles. “You know me so well.”

“I sure do.” You pull him down by his tie and plant a firm kiss on his lips and shove him off with a smile. “Go. Sit. I’ve got it.”

You turn back to Mark with a breathless sort of laugh. Aaron always makes you feel a little flushed and you’re happy to play it up for the benefit of the moment. “Sorry about that.”

Mark, you find, is reconsidering his strategy. His face, while still outwardly warm, harbors a kind of calculated look to it that would almost be funny if you weren’t so eager to see what kind of trick he’d pull next. “So, Hotchner?”

“What about him?”

Mark shrugs. “I dunno. Doesn’t he have a kid?”

You nod. “Yep.”

“And he’s a widower, right?”

“Yes.”

Mark laughs a little. “Wouldn’t it be kinda nice to, I dunno, have some fun for a little while?”

You frown at him, and your drink arrives at the hands of the frazzled bartender. You pull the fifty from your sleeve and pass it to him with a smile. After a sip, you ask. “What do you mean?”

“It seems like a lot to take on, you know?” He backpedals upon seeing your squint. “I mean, I’m sure he’s a great guy, but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone...I dunno -” He restores his confidence and leans on the bar. Again, his moves would probably work on someone else, but you were a lost cause. “- easier?”

Aaron’s scotch arrives. You pick it up in your free hand and shrug somewhat breezily. “Maybe.”

You brush past him, leaving Mark a little confused and a bit stunned. When you return to the table after much jostling, you take a seat right on Aaron’s lap and pass him his drink, reclining in his arms. Scanning over the crowd, Mark’s frowning face sticks out like a sore thumb and you try not to look too smug.

Other than Rossi, the rest of the team is already out on the dance floor, so you know Aaron doesn’t mind having you close.

He sets his scotch down and wraps his arms around you kissing the underside of your jaw. You lean into his touch and smile.

There’s nothing easier than this.

+++

There’s something a bit sulky about Aaron when you settle next to him in bed. You squint at him, looking for his eyes as they follow the loose pattern on the bedspread.

“Hey.” You bump his shoulder with yours. “What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head a little, still not meeting your eyes. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

With a roll of your eyes, you throw the covers off and sling a leg over him, straddling his thighs. You tap your palms on his pecs on-beat with your begging. “Come on. Tell me tell me tell me tell -”

“Jesus, alright!” He cuts you off with two hands over yours, his thumbs running fondly over your knuckles. “I just…” He huffs, already a little frustrated with himself for feeling put out.

You slide your hands out from underneath his, running up over his collarbones and shoulders to find the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I couldn’t help but overhear…”

You let all your breath out in a huff. “Oh, Aaron. He’s a stupid NAT who knows the only way to come after you is to come after your history.” You kiss his cheek and tuck into him. “He was trying to be a big-dick boy and it didn’t pay off for him.”

There’s a halfhearted laugh from underneath you, and his hands wander across your back. “He is right, though. It would be easi-”

“If you say ‘easier,’ Aaron Hotchner, I’m going to lose my shit.”

He sighs, and you pull back, tipping his chin up with a finger.

“Hey. I love Jack. He is not an added weight in my life. He does not make my life harder in any way. Your son,” you emphasize with taps on his lips, “is the light of my life and I wouldn’t ever want to be without him.”

Aaron’s eyes get a little misty. For his sake, you ignore it and continue.

“I never feel like a replacement for Haley. I’ve never once minded leaving room for her in our lives because she’s my friend and I love her and I love you. I loved you before we lost her and I’ve loved you long after. This baggage keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground.”

Aaron takes a deep breath, and his voice has the smallest of wavers when he speaks. Before he even starts, you concede to let him share what he’s feeling, if only to rebut it. “But you could - you could have so much. You could have someone ten or fifteen years younger who - I don’t know - could do things with you that thirty-somethings do. You wouldn’t have to spend your weekends at soccer games or your evenings rubbing Icy Hot on my bad knee or dealing with me on rough pain days or raising your voice because I can’t hear shit on my right side.”

He shakes his head, and you brush the tears that fall with your thumbs. “You could have - You deserve, so much more...” The rest of his words go unspoken, but you hear them anyway.

You deserve so much more than me.

Your eyes sting and you blink rapidly, letting your tears wet your lashes. Leaning forward, you kiss away his remaining tears, shifting your weight to wrap your legs around his waist and get as close as you can.

With your head on his left shoulder, you whisper, “Aaron, I don’t want someone ten or fifteen years younger. I don’t care what I’m doing on my evenings and weekends because I get to spend them with you.”

You pause for a moment. “And, I don’t need boys. I’m done with boys.”

You lean back, looking him square in the eye, or at least trying to. “I have a man who has silver in his hair because he worries and is in his mid-forties and it doesn’t fucking matter. I have a man who is the subject of so many crushes and fantasies at the academy it makes me want to vomit.” You laugh a little at your own joke, but he’s still focused on the seam of your shirt at your collar. Changing gears, you bring your hands to the sides of his neck, feeling his pulse jump under your thumbs.

“I have no need for boys because I have a man who treats me with kindness and respect. A man who is thoughtful, who isn’t afraid of himself. A man who knows himself, who loves his son, who invited me into his life when he didn’t have to because he’s brave.”

A couple more tears fall down your cheeks and you frame his face with your hands. “You love better and more courageously than anyone I have ever known.”

You sniffle a little. “Aaron, honey...I love you. I wouldn’t want anything else, or anyone else, for my life, to be my partner, my best friend, the person I love. Odds have it that you’ll be my husband and the father of any other kids we might acquire and that we’ll grow even older and grayer together.”

You let a little facetious smirk cross your lips. “And I’d like you to look at me and tell me I’d be happy with some dickhead named Mark with a business degree who wears shoes well-outside his pay grade.”

That does it.

Aaron smiles and pulls you to him with a hand at the back of your head. Your lips meet and you can taste the saltwater, but it doesn’t matter.

He pulls back to look at you, and he really looks at you. His eyes roam hungrily over your face as if trying to memorize every line and curve and lash and budding wrinkle he finds there.

You simply melt in the dark brown of his eyes, watching him take his time.

Even then, as you expected, there is some doubt - not in you, of course, but in him. “Really?”

“Really.” You hold up your fist between your faces, pinky extended. “Pinky promise.”

He smiles a little and links your pinkies together, twisting your hands to kiss your knuckles. Your hands drop into your lap and another little smile crosses your face.

“What?” He asks.

You shrug. “I’m also thinking about how thirty-something-year-old boys absolutely suck in bed. I can pretty much guarantee that you’re better at - well, just about everything.”

He closes his eyes and smiles, looking the picture of a happy house cat in the sun. You draw closer, running your nose along his. He leans toward you and captures your lips again.

The next few hours? Don’t worry. They’re spent proving your point.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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blitheringmcgonagall · 3 years

Text

My Gallant Lad - Part III

So I got a wonderful anon telling me that this is their favourite Lily Rescues James fics, it’s part of my canon maraders fic We Can Be Heroes. But, because it works as a stand alone, I’ll be posting it here in four parts. I hope you enjoy it! Set during first wizarding war, Lily is very BAMF (but tbh so is James)

Read part I here : After their worst row ever, Lily and James get captured by Voldemort

Read part II here : James tries to save Lily

TW: angsty and violence

PART III

Lily’s raw voice echoed through the castle walls, a lone, hauntingly beautiful gaelic song. The words indecipherable to any of the Death-Eaters who heard it, yet clearly a lament of some kind. She hadn’t been able to stand it, hearing James’ screams, imagining what was happening to him. And when she couldn’t hear him, dread clawing at her every pore, wondering…

Are you dead, my love? Did they kill you? Please don’t die, I beg you!

Haunted by the silence, almost relieved when his screams returned, because she was selfish and wanted him alive, needing him to be alive… almost immediately replaced by rage and terror and guilt and begging them to leave her husband alone, screaming herself hoarse.

She couldn’t stand it when the sound from the dungeons suddenly stopped – a spell, she was sure.

What did it mean? Was he-

She started to sing. She sang in Irish. Fuck them, no Death-Eater could get inside her head now. She pictured him as she sang, her lively lad, turning around mid-laughter and catching her eyes as he and Sirius poked fun at each other, she saw him saying something ridiculous to Minnie and watching as the strict teacher’s mouth broke into a huge grin despite herself, saw all the Marauders chasing each other and yelling and James landing on top of the others. And always his mischievous, adoring eyes turned to her, searched for her. She saw him propose to her surrounded by fireflies, vividly heard that muggle record, the lyrics bittersweet…

”Yours in the gray of December Here, or on far distant shores I've never loved anyone the way I love you

Yours to the end of life's story”

“No!” her voice faltered. “No! Not today!”

She breathed in sharply, as someone knocked on the door, twice, in abrupt succession. She recognised that trademark sound.

“Severus?” she croaked.

Severus pushed the heavy door slowly, almost reluctantly, now that it came to it. He looked uncharacteristically agitated, his waxy cheeks flushed. Relief swept over him as he looked at Lily. She looked upset but safe. She was shackled to the wall, her hands above her head, tied together. She was trembling and pale. There was no sign of the Cruciatus, or other dark magic.

“Are you alright, Lily?” He said, hurriedly throwing a potent heating charm at her.

“What are you doing here?” Lily’s husky voice surprised him, he hadn’t heard her screaming.

“What happened? Did they hurt you?” Severus said, moving closer to Lily and regarding her anxiously. “They hurt me by hurting him,” she whispered.

Tears tracked down her cheek, and Severus wiped it with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, Lily,” he said, his voice trembling – he was slightly scared of her, and then there was unexpected guilt - guilt about lying, guilt about how James was going to die. “I tried to... I tried...”

He stopped and took a few breaths, looking at the ground.

“I tried to save him, I tried some healing charms and... and I sent the others away. I wasn’t sure what to do, Lily, but then I was called away and Avery had... I was too late, Lily, I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t look at her.

“No, Sev, please, not James, please,” Lily’s broken whisper made Severus’ heart ache.

“I’m so sorry, I’m... you don’t know how sorry I am,” Severus whispered back. “I’m desperately sorry.”

Lily didn’t say anything, silent tears streaming down her face.

“He... James and I, he spoke to me, he thanked me for trying to save him, before he... he asked me to save you, to get you out of here. I promised him I’d do it. Do you understand Lily?” She was looking at him blankly, through her tears, her mind far away in some distant time or place. “Lily!” Severus whispered urgently. “Lily, he wanted you to be safe! He insisted I save you! He told me a code word - I’ve no idea what he meant, but he said to tell you - Graham’s Number.“ “Graham’s Number,” Lily repeated quietly, as though dazed. “James.” “Yes, James,” Severus said, trying not to sound impatient. “We have to leave now, I promised him I’d get you out of here! Do you understand?”

Lily nodded, still crying.

“My beautiful,” she said. “My gallant lad.”

“Yes, yes,” Severus said, eying the door of the cell. “We need to leave! Now! If Voldemort finds us, we’re both dead!”

Lily stared at him intently. After a few seconds she smiled vaguely.

“I’m so sorry Sev, let’s go, I just... it’s so much to take in, you know? I can never thank you enough, for trying to save him, for being such a noble person?”

Severus squirmed.

“It means everything to me,” she said, her red-rimmed eyes looking into his soul.

“It’s nothing,” he said firmly, refusing to hold eye contact and pointing his wand at the chains. “Frangit!”

The chains broke, and Lily collapsed into Severus’ arms.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Can you help me? I don’t think I can walk?”

“Of course!” Severus said, feeling a bloom of warmth spread through his chest.

This was what he had longed for, desperately, for as long as he could remember – Lily, holding onto him, needing him, weaker than him, reliant on him, asking him, begging him for his help. He tucked his wand in his pocket and lifted her up, looking lovingly into her stunning eyes. Surely she could also feel the deep attraction between them, the passion sizzling beneath their fingertips?

“Lily,” he murmured, bringing their lips closer.

“Severus?” she said hoarsely.

“I love you, Lily Evans,” he said, holding her closer. “I always have.”

“Your idea of love sickens me, but I’m glad you’re so predictable, Severus.”

Lily’s voice was cold as she stepped back from him in disgust, and he found himself staring at the tip of his own wand.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he said, his heart pounding as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Change of plan, Snape!” Lily said. “You don’t get to sweep me away like a lying bastard-“

“Your husband agreed to this! It was his idea!” Severus’ voice rose.

“Gobshites, the pair of you!” Lily said, her voice quivering with rage. “Probably one of the only things you two ever agreed on - that James Potter should sacrifice himself to save me? That James Potter was expendable, that I would cope without him?” Severus dropped his gaze in the face of such fierceness. “You see, I’m not leaving here without James. If he’s dead, and you better hope to fuck he isn’t, I’m still bringing him with me. He means more to me than anyone else, everything else, in the entire world. I’m not leaving my soulmate to rot in this hell!”

Severus looked at her hand with trepidation as she aimed at his chest.

“I was trying to save you, Lily,” he said, stepping away from her.

“Trying to save me for yourself, Severus! Killing my husband was never going to buy you my love!” Lily’s green eyes were incandescent.

“I didn’t… I had no part in it, it was Hugo Avery!” he said.

“No part at all? That’s strange,” Lily sneered. “Because your friend Hugo payed me a lengthy visit which only finished a short while ago, you practically overlapped.”

Snape’s eyes widened with surprise and alarm.

“He wasn’t meant to go near you!” he said.

“He did,” Lily said, shuddering despite herself. “Came in to tell me everything he was planning on doing to my husband, and later on, to me. It took rather a long time.”

“What do you think you’re-“ Severus said in fear, as Lily lifted his wand.

“I’m sorry, Severus,” Lily’s voice was hard and implacable. “Imperio!”

Continue reading BAMF Lily here

Snape’s eyes widened for a split second as the invisible spell hit his chest (so powerful it almost threw him backwards) before they seemed to fade, the fear in them replaced by a dullness.

His hands fell by his side. “Is this castle surrounded by anti-apparition wards?” she asked.

“Yes, and the nearby forest,” Snape answered mechanically.

“Where can we use a portkey?” Lily ordered, poking Snape with her wand.

“From the courtyard in front of the main entrance.”

She hated the strange empty look in his eyes, as though he was unable to think for himself and devoid of any thoughts at all, until commanded by her to do so. She hated it.

“Good,” she said. “Now you will do exactly as I say! You will bring me to the oubliette, and you will help me save my husband if it’s the last thing you do! But first, you will bring me to your potions lab!”

********

“Step away from Potter, now! I’m taking over!” Avery’s head jerked upwards in shock as Snape landed with a heavy thud right beside him, closely followed by Lily Evans, who had a glazed look in her eyes.

“She’s under the Imperius,” Snape added, glancing around at the other men.

“Snape?” Avery said, glaring aggressively at the half-blood. “What the fuck are you doing here? You said I could finish him off?”

“Change of plan!” Snape said, sounding furious. “Back the fuck away from him now, or you’re a dead man!”

“What?” said Avery. “Why?”

“The Dark Lord wants to take over torturing Potter and Evans himself, he needs to find out about his missing book. He will be livid if Potter is dead or unable to answer him! I mean murderous.”

Avery looked terrified.

“Fuck! Snape, you said...” Avery whispered hoarsely.

“You fool, you should have thought to check with your Master before you went this far! If I were you, I’d make myself scarce, unless you want to face the Dark Lord’s wrath!” Snape hissed.

Avery had never seen Snape look so imposing, so powerful. He looked like he wanted to obliterate them all.

“Shit! I... but what if he asks who...” Avery stammered.

“I’ll cover for you as best I can, but I suggest you leave until he calms down, unless you want to risk being here when he loses it,” Snape said, looking at Avery as though he detested him.

“Fuck. Okay. Thank you, Cerberus,” Avery said, frantically grabbing his cloak and stepping across James’ body as he latched onto the rope ladder and sped upwards. “Fuck Voldemort, I hate that bastard!”

Nobody answered, aware that Avery was extremely unwise in voicing his feelings about the Dark Lord’s unpredictable behaviours.

“Severus, you moronic shit,” Severus said between his teeth. Mulciber and Rosier snorted, enjoying Snape’s irritation. “You two better help me get Potter looking more presentable and less dead, unless you too want to join Avery and get AK’ed to hell!” Snape whirled around menancingly. The two men looked at him blankly.

“You don’t think the Dark Lord is actually going to forgive Avery, do you, you pathetic fools?” Snape scoffed dangerously. “Throw every healing spell you can think of at this traitor, and I’ll see what I can do for you two imbeciles!” Rosier cleared his throat and looked stunned. Mulciber glared at Snape.

“We hardly did anything!” he said. “You probably did more of the Crucios than we did!”

“I presume you haven’t forgotten that the Dark Lord is an extraordinarily gifted Legilimens?” Snape smiled thinly, sticking the tip of his wand into Mulciber’s abdomen. “He’s going to die of blood loss, not of Crucios, obviously, you fool! Care to tell him yourself the extent of your role in this… shambles?”

Mulciber’s lips thinned and he shook his head.

“Thought as much,” Snape replied smugly. “Mulciber, get me the blood replenishing potion immediately. Rosier, give me a hand here – Vulnera Sanentur over his entire body, Brackium Emendo over his ankles, quickly!”

Rosier nodded his head and started firing healing spells anxiously. Snape did the same, deep in concentration, his wand flying over James’ body. Mulciber reappeared moments later, holding a half-empty bottle of dark red liquid. Snape grabbed it off him wordlessly and carefully placed three drops into James’ mouth, scanning his face anxiously. Blood trickled from James’ right ear.

“Still looks pretty moribund to me,” he muttered to himself, touching James’ hands tenderly.

James’ fingers felt frozen, white, almost blue.

“Perhaps Rosier should come with you?” Mulciber asked, inching backwards towards the rope ladder.

Snape’s lip curled.

“Don’t be pathetic, Rosier is a liability, and far too skinny to be able to lift Potter. I need you with me,” he ordered.

Mulciber opened his mouth.

“The Dark Lord specifically asked that you accompany me,” Snape said. “He said he may need our help in questioning Potter, that’s if he isn’t already dead by the time we get there. We need to hurry!”

Mulciber swallowed.

“Now help me lift Potter, and for fuck’s sake be careful, he’s perilously close to death as it is!” Snape said.

#ha!#BAMF Lily #she is mad as hell #watch out #part IV soon #angsty jily #defying voldemort #Jily #canon jily #BAMF Jily #not for you if you like Sn*pe #stand alone story #from we can be heroes #WCBH

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

the evolution of breaking up

Peter x Stark!reader

Summary: Snippets of you moving on from a bad breakup, frequently turning to your best friend, Peter.

Warnings: it's sad Taylor Swift hours, some choice words,

Word Count: 3252

a/n: inspired by a playlist called the evolution of breaking up that only has TS songs on it lol. Bold is direct or paraphrased lyrics

Masterlist

Peter is 90% sure he fell in love with you the day he met you.

He's 100% sure he fell in love with you within a week of knowing you.

Hell, he's so sure about it, he would tell you if not for one glaringly obvious problem: Jared.

Your boyfriend.

Your started dating Jared a few weeks before you met Peter. That is to say, a few weeks before Tony recruited Peter to join the Avengers.

Peter didn't have any problems with Jared, and he would never wish for you to get your heart broken, but he was definitely jealous.

It wasn't hard for him to love you. The two of you became fast friends. You always worked in the lab together, improving upon tech Tony already had or developing all new creations.

You also patrolled together. Peter had always enjoyed patrolling, but now that you went with him, time seemed to fly.

It was currently about 10:30 on a Friday about two and a half years after you and Peter met. You and Peter were supposed to patrol, but Tony said to take the night off for once.

You took the impromptu free time as the perfect opportunity to surprise Jared.

You left the tower around 5:30 and Peter hasn't heard from you since. Not that he expected to since you were going on a date. He was bored though.

Tony refused to let him tinker around in the lab, saying he needed a better work/life balance. He would've found the statement funny if it didn't feel so true.

He tried calling Ned, but he was out with Betty. MJ was busy with Brad, the two going to some horror movie marathon.

The only other person he really hung out with was you, and you were also on a date.

He wondered the various floors of the tower, looking for anything to do that would take his mind of you.

Eventually, he just set up camp in the shared living area, putting Star Wars on the massive TV and eating more popcorn than should be legal.

He was nearly asleep during Episode V when the ding of the elevator jolted him awake. Someone ran through the halls, quickly opening and closing the door to their room.

He sat up, intrigued by the behavior. As he walked down the hallway, he listened for any indication of someone else being there. Obviously whoever it was didn't want to talk, but that didn't mean he wasn't concerned.

He stopped outside your door, bringing his hand up to knock when he heard music softly playing through the door.

You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?

He froze with his fist raised, uneasy with the why you would put on such a sad song. His hand fell back to his side when he heard you sing along to the chorus.

"Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this."

The sound of you crying grew louder than the music, urging Peter to knock. He just wanted to make sure you knew he was there for you.

Hyping himself up, he knocked lightly. A few seconds later the music stopped. He listened as you shuffled toward the door, slowly pulling it open.

His heart broke at the sight of your puffy cheeks, red and tear stained.

"Hey Pete." You managed a small smile, happy to see your friend despite the less than stellar evening you had.

"Hey, I... you probably don't want to talk about it right now, but I'm here for when you do." He matched your small smile, trying not to make you feel any worse.

Apparently, he said the right thing because you pulled him into a bone crushing hug, burying your head in his chest as you cried.

He spent the next half hour rubbing your back as you cried, having moved to sit on the bed rather than stand in the doorway.

When your tears ended, he risked talking to you again.

"Did you want to talk about it tonight?" Peter was clearly unsure of himself in this situation.

You shook your head, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

"No, I... He just..." Tears pooled again, but you blinked them away. "He said forever and always, but I guess he didn't mean it."

Peter held you as you cried again, eventually falling asleep. He tucked you into your bed, placing a water bottle on your nightstand and shutting off the lights as he left.

The next few days, you spent mostly holed up in your room. You had a playlist of sad Taylor Swift songs on repeat, letting yourself wallow.

Peter was worried. Tony was worried. Nat, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Pepper, and Vision were worried.

"What'd she say when you talked to her?" The group questioned, all wanting nothing more than to cheer you up.

Peter sighed, wishing he had more information. "She just cried for like, 2 hours. Somewhere in the middle I asked if she wanted to talk, she said something about him not really meaning forever, and then she cried again."

They were all contemplating what to do when you walked in the room. Every pair of eyes were on you in an instant.

You sighed heavily, kind of glad you could address everyone at once. They've been like a family to you since you were born, so it only makes sense they would all be worried.

"Jared and I broke up." You felt like it was 2 and a half years wasted. You could feel the tightness in your throat threatening more tears, but you refused to cry over this boy any longer. "I'll be okay, I just... I remember it all too well right now."

You turned to your dad, eyes welling up again. "I'm sorry I ignored when you said to run as fast as I can from all the boys I ever met." You chuckled, trying to relieve the tension.

Tony pulled you into a tight hug. "You'll be okay again, princess." You nodded, leaning into the hug. Everyone ended up piling on, offering you words of comfort through the group hug.

A couple weeks later, and you honestly felt better. Not all the way, but enough to want to go out with friends again. You went roller skating with Peter, MJ, and Ned.

It was the next logical step, going out with friends. It made sense. It was working.

Until you saw him. Jared was there with some other girl, skating without a care in the world. Of course, he saw you. He had the audacity to smile and wave, as if he didn't just break your heart.

When he walked up to you, you knew you had enough.

"Don't you smile at me and ask me how I've been. Don't you say you've missed me if you don't want me again." You spit the words at him, trying to hide how much it hurt. You turned away from him, nearly running from the rink before you even put the skates on.

You friends followed you out, profusely denying the need for your abundant apologies.

Ned and MJ hugged you before leaving, figuring less people would be better for you. Peter took you back to the tower, trying to help soothe the lingering ache.

"I just don't understand." You whispered from the passenger side of the car. "Why would he want to break a perfectly good heart?"

Peter struggled to come up with an answer, knowing nothing he said would really fix it.

"You'll find someone else. Someone who won't break your heart." He settled on a vague nod toward the future, knowing anything else could lead to him potentially ruining your friendship.

Unbeknownst to Peter, his words broke your heart just a little more. You always had a soft spot for Peter, and the few weeks you've been broken up from Jared have made you see him in a new light.

Of course, you wouldn't make a move though. Not yet. You didn't want him to think he was just a rebound. He's your best friend. It's too important to mess up with feelings.

You woke up the next morning with a slew of messages from Jared.

This is me swallowing my pride... telling you I'm sorry for that night.

I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.

I'm wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.

You deleted them immediately, not wanting to fall back into his trap. Ultimately though, you decided to respond. You wanted to lay it all out that he missed his chance. You were over him, even if it still hurt.

I've lived, and I've learned. Had you, got burned. I'm over it, Jared. Leave me alone.

Then you deleted his contact and blocked the number. He couldn't just say those hurtful things to you and then pretend like it was a mistake. He meant every word he said that night, even if he doesn't believe it now.

Another week went by without incident. You were all smiles all the time, really moving on from him and the pain he put you through.

Then you got a letter. It looked like a card, so you figured it was an early Valentine's card.

Opening it up proved it to be just that.

The inside read:

"I don't wanna miss you like this. I don't wanna need you this way. Come back. Be here."

Signed from Jared with hearts.

Of course you chose to open the card as soon as you got it, with everyone watching.

Your expression fell as the words sank in, knowing he was still trying did weird things to your heart. It made you question everything. Did he really care about you? Was he just bored?

You stared at the card for what felt like an eternity before ripping it up and rolling your eyes.

Of course he doesn't care. Nobody who says to your face that they never loved you cares.

"What was that?" Wanda asked, curious about the mixture of emotions present on your face.

"A load of utter horse shit." You huffed a laugh as you threw away the pieces.

"Language!" Tony called, always taking the opportunity to tease Steve.

"Well it was!" You defended, eager to move on from the conversation. They all stared at you expectantly, clearly waiting for an explanation. "It was from Jared." You were glad Peter was sitting next to you. Just the mention of his name had him rubbing your back, trying to make it easier for you.

"You know, now that I'm sitting here thinking it through. I've never been anywhere cold as him."

You felt another group hug coming on, so you quickly excused yourself to shower, reassuring everyone that you were fine.

You were laying on the floor, feet up against the wall, just staring at the ceiling when Bucky and Peter walked into the gym to train with you.

"Hey, Y/N." Bucky called, a questioning look in his eyes.

"What's going on in your head?" Peter added, spelling out the question for you.

"I knew he was trouble when I met him." You answered him honestly. "And yet, I still said yes when he asked me out." You shook your head, still staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, hindsight is 20/20. Don't beat yourself up about it." Bucky chimed in, knowing how it feels to blame yourself for things that weren't your fault.

"Are you offering then?" You stood up, accepting Peter's hand to aid you. You brushed any lingering dirt from your clothes, laughing at Bucky's confused expression. "For me to beat you up instead?"

The three of you had a good laugh before you got to work training.

Three months post breakup and you're feeling great. At least, you're feeling great most of the time.

"Hey Y/N! What are you doing tonight?" Peter questioned as he walked up beside you in the lab, pulling out the tools he'll need.

"I don't know, nothing specific I guess." You try to remember any plans you had, but nothing comes to mind.

"Perfect. MJ, Ned, and I are going to go roller skating again. I thought maybe you'd wanna come?" He's clearly nervous, unsure if this would help or hinder your progress.

You nod your head, thinking it over. "You know what, I'm in." The determination in your voice catches Peter off guard.

"Cool, um, great. I guess you're doing better then?" He's still nervous, but eager to finally get you to fully open up to someone about everything.

"Yep. Anytime I get sad, I think of something shitty he did to remind me I'm better off." You smile, knowing he was going to ask for examples.

"Really? Like what?" You can't help but laugh lightly, enjoying how well you know Peter.

"Some vague things, like how he would look at me when he was annoyed. Like those eyes add insult to injury, you know?" He nods, but doesn't really understand.

"Or more specific examples, like that birthday party where you all kept asking me about him, and I made excuses, but truth is he just blew me off. That one honestly should've been the moment I knew."

"He did what?" Peter was livid, but trying to contain the rage to that of a concerned friend rather than jealous crush.

"Eh, I'm over it. It's pretty easy to focus on the bad aspects of the relationship when it ended so badly." You shrug, turning back to the circuit board you were working on.

"How, um, how exactly did it end?" He wondered aloud, knowing you hadn't fully told anyone yet. He watched as you tensed slightly before shaking it off.

"That's a story for another time Pete." You managed a tight smile, not wanting to delve into that conversation just yet.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." You mumbled under your breath.

You had been skating with Peter, Ned, and MJ for about an hour when he walked in.

Peter followed your line of sight, trying to understand your mumbling. When his eyes caught sight of Jared, he panicked.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry! I really thought this would help you this time." He rubbed his hands down his face, silently cursing himself for putting you in this position again.

"Don't worry about it Pete. I'm more prepared to handle it this time around." You laughed, watching out of the corner of your eye as Jared approached you.

"Y/N... I, uh, I've been trying to talk to you." He started boldy, not really caring that you weren't even looking at him.

You did your best to ignore him, but he grabbed your arm to stop you from skating away.

"Y/N, come on-"

"No." You spit at him, not letting him get under your skin. "People like you always want back the love they pushed aside, but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye."

You yanked your arm out of his hand, turning back to your friends. "Let's keep skating. I have no reason to run away."

Peter watched, bewildered as you confidently skated across the rink.

The morning of what would be your three year anniversary with Jared felt weird. You weren't upset anymore, but the lingering nostalgia of celebrating an anniversary clung to you.

You deleted the email reminding you of the plans you were supposed to have that evening.

You sighed heavily as you walked into the kitchen, still trying to clear your head.

"You good?" Peter questioned, easily spotting that something was off.

"Yeah, it's just... I don't miss him. At all. I'm over it, but today would've been our anniversary..."

Peter nodded, trying to understand what you were feeling.

"It's strange to think the songs we used to sing, the smiles, the flowers, everything... is gone." You told him the truth, trying not to hide your feelings.

Maybe you should be over it by now, but you spent the majority of your high school career with that guy. It sucks to think it was all a waste.

He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back to comfort you.

"I mean, not to state the obvious, but I didn't get my perfect fantasy with Jared." You huffed, rolling your eyes.

"You'll find your perfect someone." He smiled, unaware of the fluttering in your stomach telling you that maybe you already had.

"Yeah, someone who won't say to my face that he never really loved me." You muttered, feeling the rage burn inside you again.

"He's an ass." You hugged him tighter, enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms.

Peter slowed as he walked past your door, listening as the songs changed. He recognized the intro as a song from folklore, but he wasn't sure exactly which one.

"I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit." You sang loudly unaware of listening ears outside the door.

Peter smiled, walking away so as not to interrupt your healing process again.

Meanwhile, you floated around your room, nearly screaming the along to the breakup songs as you finally rid yourself of any lingering items relating to Jared.

"But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you!" You grinned as you threw it all away, ready to fully move on.

When the elevator doors opened, Peter was assaulted with the blaring sounds of none other than Taylor Swift.

Apparently, you moved your dance party from your room to the living room, thinking you had the space to yourself for a little while.

He watched as you danced around the room, singing and smiling to your heart's content.

"So he calls me up, and he's like 'I still love you' and I'm like, "I'm just, this is exhausting you know, like..." You caught Peter's smile out of the corner of your eye, fully turning to look at him as you belted out the next line. "We are never getting back together. Like ever. Noooo."

You grab his hands, forcing him to dance and twirl around with you as the song comes to an end.

"I take it your really feeling better." Peter smiles, overjoyed to see you looking so exuberant.

"I am." You nod, keeping it simple.

"No more thoughts about Jared?" He questioned, smiling when you didn't even flinch at his name.

"Nope. I forgot that he existed." You smiled cheekily, still dancing although you turned the music down.

"That's good, then." Peter smiled, suddenly nervous. If you truly had moved on, maybe now was his chance.

"Hey Pete?" You questioned, smiling shyly.

"Yeah?" He stood in front of you, unsure of where this was going.

"I realized something this morning." You whispered, nervous for his response, but dying to tell him the truth.

"Yeah?" He waited, eager to know what you were hiding.

You pressed a quick kiss to his lips before pulling back, watching as he slowly grinned.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked, stunned but grinning like an idiot.

"'Cause, I like you," you smiled, but quickly added 'but I know that it's delicate."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that." He stated, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"No?" You leaned into his touch, feeling like you were on cloud nine.

"Nope. Cause I like you too."

He pulled you in for a deeper kiss, celebrating the beginning of this new stage of your relationship.

Permanent tag list:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #marvel #maarvel fic #mcu #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker fic #avengers x reader #peter parker x Stark!reader

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allthingskenobi · 3 years

Text

Obi-Wan in Exile – Vader

(Originally published on AllThingsKenobi.com December 13, 2020)

Welcome to the first in a series of looks into Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time in exile on Tatooine between Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We’ve tried to mine as much Legends and canon material as possible to help guide you through some of the period’s most common and repetitive themes so that when the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series airs, you’ll be ready.

Not everything he ever did in the entire 19 years will be explored here, but as we said, we’ve tried our best to pick out the most prominent and impactful moments to give everyone a better understanding of exactly what one hermit had to endure out there all alone in the sandy deserts of Tatooine.

While Vader himself was not a common reoccurrence throughout Obi-Wan’s exile, the threat of him certainly was…well until now that is. As Vader so often does, he’s recently made his way back to the forefront of the story and will seemingly loom very large over the upcoming series, thus moving us to start with exactly what that might mean for Obi-Wan and how it might work with the canon boundaries we currently have. Yes, we understand that canon can change and probably will, but we do love a challenge.

“Vader,” Obi-Wan muttered. “Vader’s alive.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Let’s start at the beginning. We have one instance in Legends where we see Obi-Wan learn that Vader survived Mustafar and it comes mere months after his exile on Tatooine begins. He first hears the name “Vader” mentioned again on the HoloNet during one of his trips into Mos Eisley and nearly faints before panicking to find a way to take Luke and run. (1) This early recognition seems to be reconfirmed in later canon as one of Ben’s greatest fears in the third year of his exile continued to be “sand crunching beneath heavy black boots, a dark cape billowing in the desert squall, the mechanical wheeze of a respirator.” (2) So will we see Obi-Wan only just learning of Vader’s fate in the tenth year of his exile? I’d say that’s highly doubtful unless the show provides a flashback for us—which we will gladly accept.

“Instead, Padmé was dead and Obi-Wan was running for his life, as stripped of everything as Vader was. Without friends, family, purpose…”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

At the same time, Vader was also very convinced that Obi-Wan was still alive and would remain so despite his greatest efforts. Because if there was one thing Vader was good at it, it was holding a grudge like he held a lightsaber, and he would expend quite a bit of energy over the 19 years between episodes III and IV searching for his old Master. (Just ask anyone he comes across in the comics.) Oh, and let’s not forget that it’s also Vader who would later inform a disbelieving Tarkin, in no uncertain terms, that Obi-Wan was still alive and on the Death Star. (3)

“No, I can’t [leave],” Ben said, firmly. “I must be here.”

KENOBI BY JOHN JACKSON MILLER L

“The core of Anakin that resides in Vader grasps that Tatooine is the source of nearly everything that causes him pain. Vader will never set foot on Tatooine, if only out of fear of reawakening Anakin.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Now that we’ve established that they both knew of each other’s survival, it begs the question as to why their paths never actually crossed in 19 years. Personally, I think it’s fairly simple: Obi-Wan would never leave Tatooine and Vader would never go anywhere near it. We will discuss Obi-Wan not leaving Tatooine more in-depth at a later time (and yes, we know what Ewan said about having a ‘rollicking time’), but Vader would canonically never visit his home planet until well after Obi-Wan and Luke were both gone. (4)(5) And by then it was much too late.

That brings us to the most recent ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ news and how that fits in with what Legends and canon have told us so far. We received a lot of exciting and thought-provoking announcements in a short amount of time, and frankly, our minds haven’t stopped spinning since. Could the show undo what we currently assume to be true? Yes. Could the show work within those same parameters? Also, yes. Do I personally have any idea what’s going to happen? No. DO I THINK THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT? Y E S. The goal of this exercise is to simply try and reconcile the new details to the existing Star Wars lore because I think that’s what makes it interesting. So you can take it or leave it. The choice is yours. (Until it isn’t because the show has aired and this is all pointless.)

HERE WE GO.

“[Deborah] Chow confirmed that audiences will “definitely see Obi-Wan and Darth Vader get into it again” as we see the blue blade of a hooded Obi-Wan clash with the fiery red blade of Darth Vader.”

“McGregor knows the battle will be eagerly anticipated, and he’s looking forward to performing it just as much: “Having another swing at each other might be quite satisfying for everybody. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we’re going to enjoy making it.””

DEBORAH CHOW AND EWAN MCGREGOR DURING THE DISNEY INVESTOR’S REEL

Not only was the “Hayden Christensen returning as Darth Vader” bombshell dropped in our laps, but we were also fed the above morsels (not once but thrice) and told to digest them. Our first reaction was a hearty and well-deserved cry of rejoicing until the realization of what this could all mean set in and it turned into a hearty and well-deserved sob.

There’s hardly a way to be disappointed in the fact that we will see Ewan and Hayden not only together again, but “getting into it” as well, but we do have to wonder what this means for the moment where Obi-Wan and Vader face each other again on the Death Star. The moment is not only pivotal to Episode IV, but I would argue, the entire saga. And it’s made even more impactful by the fact that the two men have not physically confronted each other since their fateful battle on Mustafar.

What we do know, and that which should not change, is that Vader never knew where Obi-Wan was hiding nor that he had Luke, his son, with him. That tells me two things: whatever kind of “rematch” happens here does not endanger Luke’s safety in the long run nor is it probably something that would occur more than once. I think what we’re going to see happen is isolated and “unexpected,” occurring only once ten years into Obi-Wan’s exile.

You: But, All Things Kenobi, if they could never physically meet on Tatooine or elsewhere, then what does this all mean??

Us: Do we look like Deborah Chow or Ewan McGregor? Do we have all the answers for you? NO! But can we try to help ease your mind until the show airs and I’m proven all sorts of wrong?? YES! SO PUT ON THAT TINFOIL HAT AND LET’S DO THIS!!

“I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do.”

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI C

Instantly our minds turned to these two particular comments from Vader in Episodes IV and VI. They’ve always stood out as peculiar, demanding explanation, but even more so now. The first is a vague, open-ended statement that leaves us to assume they hadn’t met again since they parted on the slopes of Mustafar. The second is a seemingly wistful reminiscence of a memory Vader has of his old master.

Luke had just finished making a heartfelt plea for Anakin to remember his “true self” then says, “come with me.” Where did Obi-Wan make the same appeal to only be shunned by Vader as well? Is it possible the series will show us this after all these years and possibly solve the riddle of both enigmatic statements at once? Is it possible that any such conversation might quickly devolve into another lightsaber-fueled clash??

“Count Dooku was Yoda’s apprentice.”

“And Count Dooku has fallen to the dark side.”

“All of us have apprenticed to Master Yoda.”

“He cannot be held accountable for Dooku’s descent.”

“But they are connected. Profoundly.”

THE CLONE WARS 6×11 “VOICES” C

A distinct bond exists between each Padawan and Master and unfortunately that bond does not disappear when one or the other becomes a Sith Lord. Despite the bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin being firmly closed at both ends, there’s no doubt that a presence remains. And even the most sturdy walls might crack from time to time.

Even after 19 years apart, Vader is quick to recognize when Obi-Wan is nearby and goes so far as to know his intent. “Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone.” And he’s right. (3) As for Obi-Wan, the Force has plagued him with dreams and visions, even showing him “a limbless wreck hanging in a bacta tank, necrotic skin pallid and scarred.” (2)

Could their strong connection be the vehicle that allows Obi-Wan and Anakin to confront each other once more? Within the Force they could not only converse, but we could also see them “take another swing” at each other without any physical consequences no matter who “wins.” The mental toll would also make for great drama for both men and bring a new perspective and emotional weight to several scenes in the Original Trilogy.

“If you loved me, Obi-Wan, you would have killed me.”

STAR WARS: DARTH VADER 24 BY KIERON GILLEN C

Finally, it’s quite possible that Obi-Wan might not physically be involved at all in their “rematch” and it might be entirely from Vader’s perspective. One theory could be as simple as the fact that Vader once had a training droid whose deadliest combat setting took the form of his former master. (Oh, Anakin.) (6) Another theory, and a much more likely one, could be that Vader has a Force vision or dream that allows him to recreate and relive various moments between himself and Obi-Wan, including, but not limited to, another lightsaber battle. This would be interesting to witness as every time it occurs, it means that Vader is wrestling with Anakin.

Although the Obi-Wan that continues to exist in Anakin’s psyche doesn’t seem too different from the real thing, just imagine Ewan McGregor getting to play Obi-Wan from Anakin’s point of view…I’ll just drop my mic there.

Star Wars: Darth Vader 24 by Kieron Gillen (2016) C

Star Wars: Darth Vader 5 by Charles Soule (2017) C

Citations:

(1) Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno L

(2) “Time of Death” – From A Certain Point of View by Cavan Scott C

(3) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope C

(4) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2016 by Kieron Gillen C

(5) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2020 by Greg Pak C

(6) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (2008) by Haden Blackman L

#Obi-Wan in Exile #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Kenobi Series #Anakin Skywalker #Darth Vader #long post #text post #crossposted from wordpress #allthingskenobi

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