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#self doubt
support · 10 years
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Everything okay?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.
If you are in the United States, please try:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.
For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.
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stutterhug · 1 month
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The one that never goes away..
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chibird · 2 months
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Bonk! Don’t let your self doubt hold you back! 💪
Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram
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mochinek0 · 4 months
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Daminette December 2023: 7-In a League of their Own (SUB)
Damian sat in his apartment trying to empty his mind. His girlfriend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, was the most amazing person he ever met. He was still shocked she agreed to date him. Today was one of those days when he thought he was just holding her back from greatness.
'Marinette deserves better than me. She's smart, tactical, and crafty. You would think Mother or Father trained her.'
'Not only is she smart, but she can cook and bake. I'm still learning. I'm sure there's day she wishes she could have a home cooked meal. I can only take her out to resturants or make her breakfast. She makes the most amazing dinners! Everything she makes tastes delicious. Anyone would be lucky to eat her food everyday.'
'She's an amazing business woman. Marinette is practically running her own company and I don't even have full control of Wayne Enterprise! She isn't afraid to tell people off. Mother would have loved her commanding presence. Everyone, including Father, is scared of me.'
'Maybe I should break up with her.'
Damian's thoughts were broken when he doorbell went of continuously.
'Who could that be? Must be Grayson.'
Damian opened the door to see his girlfriend standing there in tears.
'What the fuck?'
Marinette lunged into his arms.
"Who-" he began to demand.
"It's been a really bad day." Marinette cried into his arms, "Can I just stay with you? I always feel better when I'm with you."
Damian took a deep breath and pushed his anger down, for another time.
"Of course." he spoke.
Damian picked her up and set her down on the couch. As she wiped her tears away, he began to take off her shoes and her coat. He went into the kitchen and grabbed her a glass of water to rehydrate and ordered some of her favorite take out, along with her favorite ice cream.
"So, what happened?" he questioned, handing her the water.
Marinette had went on to explain how there had been mix up with a few orders. A person she had fired had put in the orders and when they hadn't come in on time, she called the company only to find out that person had cancelled the orders. Once she told them that person had been fired months ago, they quickly put in motion to send the fabric and other items needed. Unfortunately for her, one of the clients pulled out of her services because of that claiming she was incompetent at her job. That had only been the morning. She had worked through her lunch to tackle anything her ex-employee had touched and caleld companies to ensure that the previous person didn't dictate her orders and informed them of any changes or wrong-doings the person had done. After that, she had to get her lawyers involved as the person was order fabrics under her name and Marinette had never received them. With all the invoices from the companies, her lawyer was sure it would be a clean sweep.
A knock at the door drew their attention away from each other.
"I'll get it." Damian offered.
When he checked the peep hole, he saw the delivery driver holding up the bag of food. He unlocked the door and took the bag. When he turned around, he could see she was surprised to see him holding up food. Marinette just looked at him with tears in her eyes and smiled. Damian quickly set the food down and rushed to her side.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
Marinette kissed him, leaving him stunned.
"You are the most amazing boyfriend ever." Mari declared, "I'm sure anyone else would be jealous to know my boyfriend is in a league all of his own."
Damian kissed her back, "You may think so, but you Angel are in a league above me."
Marinette cuddled into his arms.
'We can eat the food he got in a few moments.'
TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218
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dk-thrive · 5 months
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I'm worried about art, what it's for, whether what I do is any use to anyone, whether I've been kidding myself all these years that I'm any good at it, that I've got anything at all to offer the human race, whether I should just chuck it in and look for a job.
— Helen Garner, One Day I'll Remember This: Diaries 1987–1995 (Text Publishing Company, October 12, 2021)
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whumpster-dumpster · 3 months
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Parental Caretaker's confidence being shaken by other important people in the whumpee's life who think they're not cut out to be a familial figure
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aro-culture-is · 2 months
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aroace culture is doubting your aro identity bc these feelings you have for your zucchini could be what asexuals experience as romantic and you will never know for sure if you’re actually aro.
(meanwhile, scared that if these feelings are romantic, my aro zucchini might be able to tell and not want to be with me anymore)
.
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furiousgoldfish · 9 months
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me after my parents haven't done anything abusive or violent in a bit: Welp. Can't claim that I'm being abused anymore. No proof that any past abuse exists. I'll never be able to prove to anyone that any of it was real. Maybe I made it up or was just being dramatic. The thought of it being erased and non provable crushes me to the ground. I'm helpless to do anything about it.
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yeehawpim · 7 months
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after the match and your coach runs off
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ask-the-prose · 9 months
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The Self-Doubt Battle
Hi all, this week's guide is about imposter syndrome and self-doubt! This is a pretty personal subject for me because I struggle with this all the time, so I thought I'd write up a little guide for those of you who do too.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is a pattern of self-doubt that people (especially high achievers) feel. This pattern of self-doubt usually presents as a feeling that one is an imposter or that their achievements are due to falsehoods or faking competency. It is important to understand that Imposter Syndrome is not a clinical term and does not constitute an actual mental health condition. This is a phenomenon that occurs when people doubt themselves so thoroughly that they fear that others will view them as a fraud.
As previously stated, Imposter Syndrome is not a mental health condition that one suffers from, but instead, it is a pattern of thinking that can be overcome. If you find that this feeling is familiar to you, don't lose hope. This is not a permanent feeling, and it is not indicative of any moral or personal failing.
How do I rebuild my confidence?
This portion of the guide may sound familiar! Some of the things that work for burnout will also help rebuild your confidence and battle those persistent feelings of self-doubt. In fact, I find that self-doubt and burnout can very often go hand in hand. If you're feeling like an imposter or that you can't achieve what you want to, look really closely, talk it out with a friend, family member, or therapist, and see if maybe you're feeling burnt out instead. You might find that your self-doubt is actually exhaustion.
Let's start with self-care! It's hard to feel good about yourself when you just plain don't feel good. Self-care can help with that. It's easy to get lost among the scented candles and bubble baths, but self-care is actually much simpler than that. Have you eaten recently and regularly? Are you thirsty? Are you tired and need some sleep? Be sure to take care of your basic needs before making any judgments about yourself and your capabilities. You may find that once you feel physically better, you will feel more equipped to handle external challenges.
Is self-care not working? I consulted a couple of mental health professionals on how to combat feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Some of their tips included finding a source of validation or confidence boosting. It may seem like a bad thing, like fishing for compliments, but we, as human beings, crave and need validation from our peers. We're social animals! There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to say "good job" every now and then. A list of things that might help you get those moments of validation:
Is there something you know you're good at? Do a little of that! If that means drawing or dancing or sorting crayons, it doesn't matter as long as you feel good doing it.
Chat with a friend about your feelings, and you might find they feel the same way! If all of us feel that self-doubt, then maybe we're all wrong. We can't all be imposters, so look for that support and take comfort in knowing that you are not the odd one out.
Self-affirmation. This seems silly, and it's a common therapy tool, but it does work. Say to yourself what you want to believe about yourself, and eventually, you will. One self-affirmation that helps me with Imposter Syndrome and self-doubt: my achievements are real achievements. It's important to remind yourself that not only did you achieve something cool but that you did so because you are capable and not because you are fake. I'll let you in on a little secret; you can't fake success.
My final trick that may seem controversial: just ask. Everyone has felt self-doubt at one point or another. Find someone you trust and simply ask for validation. Your request can sound something like this: "I've been feeling down about my own capabilities recently. I trust you and your opinion and I was hoping you could give me some encouragement to keep going." I've found that writeblr is actually a GREAT place to find encouragement.
Rebuilding your confidence is a very personal task, and what works for one person won't always work for the next. For some people, the self-doubt goes away with a little work. For others, self-doubt can be persistent. Persistent, extreme feelings of self-doubt that result in depressive episodes or anxiety attacks may be symptoms of a larger mental health issue, and if these tips and tricks consistently fail, consider reaching out to a professional who can help you with the underlying cause of these negative feelings.
What about "fake it until you make it?"
"Fake it until you make it" is a common phrase used to encourage others with confidence issues, especially those of us who are younger or newer to an industry, craft, or hobby. In my personal experience, the usefulness of this phrase ebbs and flows with my own sense of self and my attitude toward my writing. This phrase can easily become misconstrued when a writer feels self-doubt. The purpose of this phrase is not to say that we are all imposters but that we can project confidence to others that we may not necessarily feel inside. That doesn't make you a phony. It helps you build yourself up.
Sometimes, this phrase is not so helpful. It's important to recognize that what we are faking is confidence, not competence. It is next to impossible to fake your own capabilities, but you can certainly fake a positive attitude. "Faking it" does not refer to faking success. It refers to faking unerring confidence and belief in oneself. "Making it" is about genuinely believing in yourself. You can "make it" to self-assured confidence by "faking" that confidence you want to have. In some ways, it's like a positive self-affirmation.
Conclusion
I'll repeat it here: you cannot fake success. Your achievements are real, your successes are real, and though sometimes it feels like luck, it was your skills that helped you reach your goals. Whether you believe in your skills or not, luck can only get you so far, you got yourself the rest of the way. Take pride in yourself, and remember, this feeling will pass.
– Indy
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deebrisbyfish · 4 months
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Imposter syndrome is something that REALLY kicks my ass on the regular. My sense of failure rears its head all the time, and I try to keep it to myself for the reasons Dandy illuminates here. I was wallowing the day I wrote this, and was avoiding talking to anyone. When I realized WHY I was avoiding it, this strip idea came to me. That said, long-time fans of Dandy & Company will recognize the log as the most common stock background from that strip. I had to REALLY cheat to get my enormous, 6'2" self in this shot. If I were to stand up here, I would be WILDLY out of proportion from the normal way I draw myself. lol
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glkr-xx · 3 months
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I think I've always been the problem
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prettieinpink · 3 months
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Urgent Ask,
How can I trust myself more?
Thank you so much 😊
This is a bit of a vague question, so it is a minipost instead!
Remember how you overcame your past challenges + achieved things. We tend to mistrust ourselves, due to not believing in our capabilities. So, make a list of everything you went through (and overcame) and accomplishments and then use that list to reflect on it when these feelings of doubt arise. 
It is okay to have weaknesses. Accept your weaknesses, and embrace them when going into challenges in life. However, instead of dwelling on it, try to use that weakness to your advantage or improve it. 
Be more compassionate to yourself. Doubting and mistrusting ourselves can stem from (sub) conscious feelings of self-hatred. Make an effort, both mentally and physically to take care and be nicer to yourself. 
Stay committed to yourself. Prior experiences of us not keeping promises to ourselves, can build up these feelings of self-doubt. However, once we keep at the things we promise to ourselves, can strengthen our trust and commitment to ourselves. 
Have a positive environment. Surround yourself with people who will motivate, challenge and uplift you, and extract anyone else who doesn’t make you feel the way you want to feel. 
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justasimp1 · 2 years
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Joseph Quinn x F! Reader
Suggestive! (Nsfw), Fluff, Comfort, Actress! AU☆
Drowning In S
He was doing great. You relaxed your posture, trying to lose the anxious expression on your face. The next fan came hurriedly to the mic, hand shakily gripping onto a piece of paper. "This question is for J-Joesph" The frantic girl was stammering.
Everyone shifted their eyes to Joesph. You bit the inside of your cheeks, eyes glazing over his posture. 'God if you weren't in front of several fans and your fellow cast mates you would straddle his lap, softly sucking on that one spot that makes him twitch'
You bit back a grin and internally scolded yourself for stretching the scenario. "So, how is America? Is there anything special you really like here compared to England?" Her voice projected from the microphone.
Joseph hummed, locking eyes with you. You ignored the burning on your cheeks and looked away. A frown tugged on his lips before he shifted on his podium seat. "No, not really. I grew up there so it's going to take something really special to be better than that" He laughed, rubbing his hands on his pants.
"What about the Bundt cake argument?" Jamie buried himself in his hands, trying to muffle his laughing. "Please don't bring that up" Joe groaned, pinching his temples. You smiled, knowing how adorning Joseph got about the small donut shape cakes. And how passionate he felt about the essential importance of the sweet.
"They are remarkable, they taste so good!" Joseph giggled, crossing his legs. "They're just regular cakes, shaped like a donut" Jamie snickered, motioning his hands to prove his point. Joseph gasped, dramatically clutching his chest.
"They are not just cakes. When you eat one is fluffy, moist, and made with love. Especially when Y/N makes them, they taste so much better, and like she looks so good while cooking it" Joseph kept rambling on, not realizing how the crowd erupted with mutters.
You tried to slightly nudge him with your elbow but he didn't seem to get the memo. You just smiled through the pain, trying not to lose your shit. Too many people were staring at you- It's like your fear was coming true, swallowing you whole, whispering flooding your ears
_____________________________
You couldn't look at him, frustration burning through your veins but primarily because you found yourself scrolling anxiously on random social media platforms. "I just don't get it" Joesph sighed, laying down on his side of the bed.
"We're not public, you practically outed us" You mumbled, scanning feeds about the Q&A. Luckily there was nothing about Joesph, just random cute gifs of him. Although, some anonymous profiles were questioning the slip-up.
"Why do we have to be a secret anyways" He pouted like a child, sitting up, wrapping his hands around your waist. He pulled you onto the bed, climbing on top of you, leaving neat kisses on your skin. You cupped his cheeks, brushing away the hair tickling his forehead.
"Because..." You trailed off, analyzing his face. You gave him a peck on the cheek before delicately pushing him off. You sat up, cris-crossing your legs, planting your head in your hands. You struggled to swallow the lump in your throat.
"If we went public, it would just be..everywhere. At every second I would get reminded of it" You glanced at Joesph's face. He rubbed his lips over your thigh and rubbed a soothing hand on the kiss. "You don't want to be reminded of me, eh?" He stifled a laugh.
"No of course not!" You bit your bottom lip, blinking back the burning hole in your eyes. "You're you and I'm me. Everyone would be gossiping about the wonderful talented pretty Joseph Quinn dating...Y/N L/N" You said your name blandly.
Joseph took a while humming, eyes bouncing down to your lips. "But you're missing a part" He sat up on the mattress, stroking your hair behind your ear. "What? The glorious flourishing actor Joseph Quinn-" Before you could continue mimicking the reporters' voice, your lips connected.
Joseph planted a hand on the back of your head, gently pushing you forward. You flinched at the enthusiasm leaking from the gesture, your heart pounded like it was the first time. He pulled you closer, his free hand roaming on your hips, teasingly dipping underneath the edge of your shirt.
"No, the part about the gorgeous--" His lips wrapped around the tight skin on your collar bone. "The successful" His voice got lost somewhere between small pants. "The brilliant and sometimes foolish Y/N L/N" He brought his lips back up to meet yours.
Pushing past your parted lips, tongue prodded at the back of your throat. You squealed, feeling overwhelmed by his weight and falling back on the bed. The plush covers dipped below you. Joseph wormed between your legs, pushing the ruffles of your dress up.
He kissed along your thighs, leaving small heightened hickies. You rolled your hips a little as his breath ghosted your inner thigh. Joseph made his way back up to your face, laying his head on your chest. "I'm just scared" You whispered, playing with his brown curls.
"No matter what, I'll always love you and only you" His voice muffled by your breast squished on his face. "Even if everyone sends you embarrassing pictures from my past?" "I'll love you even more," Joseph laughed.
"We can go on a date tomorrow," You spoke slowly, searching for regret in each syllable. "Like in public, without anyone else, just us?" He tested with a wide grin on his face. "Sure" You gleamed. Joseph went silent for a second but you caught a glimpse of hot red spreading on his cheeks.
"Cool. I can't wait" He spoke calmly, however he was hugging you tightly like a child who was just granted their favorite candy.
Masterlist
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ebongawk · 9 months
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What a fucking day.
It'd been fucking months of buildup. When Roy, the old owner, had announced his intention to sell the shop and retire, Eddie should've taken the hint and walked out with him. Roy was the only guy in the shop Eddie could possibly stand, because he wasn't a fucking three-inch prick like Ken or a used tampon of a man like Jesse.
But nah. Like a goddamn idiot, he'd stuck around, letting Jerry – the asshole who bought Roy's Auto – work him to the fucking bone over the last half year. Because he 'needed the money' or some stupid shit like that. And Jerry knew Eddie was the only son of a bitch that could hold his own between the three mechanics that came with the shop.
Then he'd hired his friend, fucking Randy, who was as incompetent as he was stupid. And Jerry had given Randy Eddie's fucking morning shifts, which meant that, if Eddie wanted to keep his job, he'd have to work the noon to nine shift. It also meant that customers who had complaints about Randy's fixes yelled at fucking Eddie because the late hours gave them more confidence to be pissed off.
He spent his evenings getting screamed at for shit that wasn't his fault and missing at home time with his fucking girlfriend all because some idiot with no experience knew the fucking owner.
So, yeah. Eddie had been staying late to double-check all of Randy's stupid ass jobs, and today, Jerry had fucking reamed him for all the overtime he'd put in, saying he wasn't gonna pay it. They'd gotten into it, and Eddie had forced Jerry (through a lot of intimidation he hadn't relied on since high school) to write a final check (of the full fucking amount, thank you very much) before he'd walked out with his middle fingers raised.
So, yeah, not only was he pissed. He was now jobless.
He'd hit the bar for a couple of beers to cool down before heading home. It was well past midnight and Chrissy was fast asleep by the time he got in. She worked mornings at the diner – it used to be incredible, actually, because he and Chrissy worked the same shift and got off at the same time and got home together and could spend actual, real time as a couple. But, the past few months, he'd seen her like five times total – not including weekends, but fucking still – and he missed her.
Scrubbing himself down in the shower, Eddie tried to keep himself from spiraling. What the fuck were they gonna do? He couldn't be unemployed; they couldn't afford that shit. Like, yeah, okay, Corroded Coffin was getting the odd paying gig these days, but not often enough to fill the new void in his wallet. And Chrissy had dropped down to part-time because she was getting ready to start classes.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fucking fuck.
He was a half-insane mess by the time he stumbled into their bedroom, taking care to be extremely quiet as he tip-toed across the room and slipped beneath the covers. Chrissy was fast asleep, her face half illuminated by the streetlamp that sat just outside their bedroom window.
She was so goddamn beautiful.
Eddie laid on his side, eyes tracking the soft rise and fall of her chest, the fluttering of her long lashes as she dreamed. Mere inches and yet so far away from him. God. Christ. This was fucking exactly what her bitch of a mother had said would happen when Chrissy chose him. When she reached out across the miles and canyons between their social standings, taking his hand without a care for how anyone else perceived them. Laura Cunningham had screamed that Eddie would be a disappointment, that he'd ruin Chrissy by being a fucking idiot who would end up in prison, just like his father.
All he'd ever fucking wanted was to prove that old bat wrong.
But here he was. Being a fuck up. Ruining Chrissy's chances at going to school just because he couldn't hold down a simple fucking job fixing cars. They'd moved into an apartment they could barely afford in a city neither of them had ever been to and Eddie had been convinced it would be okay because they were together. Because he was gonna be somebody, and he was going to prove that he was deserving of Chrissy Elizabeth Cunningham.
Because they loved each other.
The dreams of some stupid kid from the trailer park were coming back to bite him in the ass. He felt so ridiculously unworthy.
Turning away from her, Eddie tucked his lips between his teeth, trying to blink away the burning behind his eyes. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't face her, knowing what he'd done. What he'd forced her to give up, only to fucking ruin everything with his stubborn Munson blood. Why couldn't he just keep his stupid mouth shut? Why did he have to say whatever the fuck was on his mind? He couldn't just suck it up and be a yes man, just once, and now––
"Eddie?"
Chrissy's voice cut through the darkness, interrupting the self-deprecation whirling in a maelstrom through his mind. It was soft, half-groggy with sleep, and Eddie took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Sorry to wake you, sweetness," he said, speaking to the wall. "Go back to sleep, okay?"
Silence filled the void between them, and Eddie thought she hadn't really even woken up. That is, until one of her arms came around his abdomen, her body sliding across the sheets until she was aligned completely against his spine. Lips pressed against the back of his neck, a soft hum curling across his skin as she nuzzled into him.
"You okay?" she asked softly. Some life had returned to her voice, and Eddie cursed internally. The last thing she needed was to be woken up in the middle of the night by his fucking issues.
"'Course, baby," he rasped. He laid his arm over hers reassuringly. "Just a little wired. I'll try and relax, yeah?"
Chrissy let out a slow breath. After a moment, she released her hold on him, scooting back slightly and making tears prick anew behind his eyes. She knew. She fucking knew that she was in bed with a stupid piece of––
"Can you turn around for me?" she asked. Closing his eyes, Eddie took a deep, slow breath, the inhale skipping rope across his lungs like a competitive game of double-dutch. But he could deny her nothing, so after a moment, he complied.
She was looking at him.
Having moved out of the light from the window, all he could really see was the glimmer of her eyes. But still, he knew her, and she knew him, and he knew that she was reading him like a goddamn book.
"What happened?"
Eddie sighed. Shrugged. Looked anywhere but the starlight of her eyes against the dark backdrop sky of their room as he desperately tried to shove his emotions into the fucking dirt.
"Y'know," he finally said, his voice obviously wet, goddamnit, "just, uh, quit my fucking job. No big deal, Cunningham, right? Anger got the best of me. I, uh, exploded at Randy and ruined everything."
He expected her to scoff or laugh or roll her eyes. A perfectly reasonable reaction to his attempt at joking. Instead, she was just... quiet. Contemplating, maybe, though it was hard to tell in the dark.
Contemplating leaving me.
Serves me fucking right.
Her arms were around him in the next second, gently pulling his face to hers. Warm, soft lips caressed his forehead for a long moment, stealing the breath straight from Eddie's lungs and finally releasing the torrent of tears he'd kept mostly at bay.
She eased herself up, holding him close and finagling her body so he could rest his head on her chest. Gently petting his hair in slow strokes that made him want to sob like a little kid.
"It's alright, baby," she murmured softly, lulling his fretting emotions a little bit more with every slow stroke of her fingers through his tresses. "We'll figure it out. We've got some savings, right? And you've hated it there for months. This is a good thing, Eddie."
"You sure?" Christ, he sounded so fucking weak.
It took him a moment to remember that Chrissy was always his strength.
"I'm positive," she promised. Angrily, she continued, "You're too good for that place, anyway. They sucked. Vampires, all of them."
That startled a laugh out of him, and he buried his face in her chest, listening to the slow beating of her heart. Fuck, what a sound. What a sensation.
What a love.
"You're so fucking good, Cunningham," he said after a moment.
"So are you," she replied immediately, scratching her fingernails against his scalp. "You're my favorite."
Jesus Christ, she's immaculate.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"You're mine, too, sweetness."
She giggled, the sound vibrating up his cheek and making his own smile stretch until it ached with his adoration for her.
"I know, Munson," she said. "I love you."
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dynamite-derek · 3 months
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Looking at the self doubt and intrusive voices of Alan Wake 2
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Note: I tread very lightly on spoilers in this writeup, however I do discuss an endgame scenario, so if you wish to enter that segment of the game completely fresh I would visit this piece after finishing the game. Last year, a lot of praise was circulating around over the movie Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. Not only was it apparently a very good movie, but it also contained a realistic depiction of a panic attack. For as much as mental health issues have been brought to the forefront in recent days, it seems like accurate depictions of actual mental health events are quite rare. Especially in children's media
Gaming received a moment like this in 2023 but it is far less talked about. Sure, fans of the game probably discuss it amongst themselves because that's what fans do, but the wider public hasn't grasped onto it yet. Hey, 2023 was an astounding year for games, stuff is going to slip through the cracks.
Alan Wake 2 contains a constantly shifting and complex narrative. The world seems to be changing based on the story the titular character Alan Wake is writing. The player will likely be questioning their memory on certain things as they play. "Did this interaction play out as I remember it? Did I miss a key point in the narrative that would clue me in as to what's going on?" Nothing is quite as it seems and you are constantly guessing about what is going on as you play.
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Probably the biggest 'questioning the narrative' moment in the game is related to one of the game's playable characters Saga Anderson and her daughter, Logan. Saga is sent to a town called Bright Falls to investigate a series of supernatural murders. You witness a phone conversation towards the start of the narrative between Saga, her husband and her daughter that's fairly innocuous. It basically just tells you that they're a loving family. But that's the last little bit we hear about this happy family throughout. From that point forward, things change.
Various citizens of the town you're in act like Saga is an old regular of the place. They address her by her first name and speak in very familiar tones. They think she separated from her husband and took her daughter with her to this down. Oh, and also her daughter died via drowning. Kind of a heavy pill to swallow but one you probably shake off the first couple of times you hear it because you witnessed that phone call at the beginning of the game. You HEARD her marriage was happy and you even heard her daughter. Things are fine.
But as the game goes on, more NPCs mention this to you. In fact, basically every plot relevant character including Saga's partner thinks Logan is dead. Eventually you start to doubt yourself. Did you actually experience that phone call at the beginning of the game or is it a false memory? You didn't actually SEE the characters she was speaking to, was it something she hallucinated? Is the twist for this game that the narrative impacting the game world never actually twisted this part of Saga's life?
As the player, it's hard to determine what's real. In a lot of games, the character the player is controlling doesn't actually mirror the emotions of the player. You might be confused but the main character isn't. It all makes perfect sense to them! And for a lot of this game, Saga comes across as someone who absolutely believes her version of events. Logan is alive. Her marriage is fine. Alan's narrative is shifting the world and fixing that will fix everything. As a player I was second guessing everything the game was throwing at me but the character I was controlling was more sure of herself.
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However, we get to peer into Saga's mind a fair amount. The game has a gameplay mode called "The Mind Place." In it, Saga can deduce pieces of evidence related to the various cases you undertake. You can get her perspective on a lot of events in the game this way. A lot can be inferred about Saga's personality through this. You find out she is very sure of herself and competent. But in the end game, things change.
After a wild sequence of events, Saga is locked in the mind place. Usually when you can exit out of there with the press of a button, but no matter what you do, you are stuck. With nowhere to go in the 'real' world you are stuck alone with your thoughts and here are where a lot of your doubts throughout the game come to surface. You grab various pieces of evidence throughout your mind and all of them are just overwhelmingly negative. "You are a bad mom, you are a bad cop, you let your kid die, you are a bad wife." With every new piece of evidence you collect, the player and Saga's doubts become more and more intertwined.
It hits hardest when you're dealing with Logan. Every piece of evidence basically just screams "YOUKILLEDHERYOUKILLEDHERYOUKILELDHER" over and over again. The evidence is accompanied by a picture of your daughter that slowly fades after each message. Is everything the NPCs were telling us about this character true? Is it possible that everyone else in the world is wrong and her life actually does suck?
When I'm having a dark period of time and I think everything is bad, I often search for proof that things aren't as bad as they seem. I think of interactions I've had with people or stuff I've done at my job and go "okay so maybe I'm not as bad as I think" but invariably when I try to cheer myself up like this, a voice in the back of my head calls bullshit on everything I am saying and pops up right when I am on the brink of breaking out of it. "Oh that person was just being nice to you" "Oh, you just achieved that because you knew the right person" "You have done nothing with your life." That sort of stuff.
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And wouldn't you know it, Saga does the same thing. She rejects that the death of her daughter is a reality and tries to find evidence to support this theory. All very strong stuff and a lot of it is not new information to the player. And yet, with every bit of evidence you collect that suggests maybe you're not a bad wife and mother, maybe you're not a bad fed, Saga basically screams at you that you're wrong and in denial. That you are looking for an easy escape to the obvious solution. That you are merely coping to evade reality.
Eventually your evidence becomes so strong that you snap out of your funk and are able to leave the mind place and return to 'reality.' Saga still has those lingering doubts, but she also has given herself enough reasons to believe that the doubts are in her head. She is at a point where she is comfortable confronting the nature of her personal life. You know in the back of her head she's not sure what she's gonna find on the other side of her mind place, but she is at least no longer content with sitting in obliviousness.
The handling of intrusive thoughts is done so well. You the player are the one who is going about grabbing the evidence that you're not mentally broken, but the voice in the back of your head is shoving all the bad thoughts up front whether you want them to or not. I cannot overstate how gripping the storytelling is during this 30 minute segment. Many people would call the gameplay in this section 'walking-sim' esque, but I would argue it the most gripping bit of gameplay in the game despite not requiring anything out of the player from a reflex perspective.
There are no fail states. It's just you and the mind of one of the characters you've spent the past several hours with. And it is enthralling.
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