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#self harm as a cry for help
furiousgoldfish · 2 years
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Neglected children will sometimes go ‘okay time to dangerously deteriorate to see if anyone cares about me’ and then if nobody does, they don’t know how to stop deteriorating on their own, they’ll need help to pick themselves back up.
 And if that help doesn’t arrive, they’ll conclude ‘I was right to destroy myself in a world where nobody cares for me anyway, why should I live at all’ and it sets them on a miserable life path where all they see is chances for self destruction and proof of nobody caring, and from the very start it’s not their fault at all.
Because someone should notice when a kid starts losing themselves and step up and help. Children are not meant to know how to take care of themselves in an environment where they’re neglected, ignored and uncared for. Putting them in such an environment then blaming them for deteriorating is absolutely ridiculous. It takes paying attention and realizing when something is wrong and pulling a kid out of the black hole they’re falling into, before they can no longer crawl their way out on their own. 
It’s not acceptable to let children deal with abandonment and neglect all on their own, and expect them to not grow up miserable, resentful, struggling, and doing harm to themselves. It’s the same harm we never stopped them from doing when they were kids, when they needed to know that someone would care if they’re hurt. If we want functional and healthy adults in the society, we have to notice what is going on with the kids and make sure they’re helped in time. 
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al-pa-ca · 5 months
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I told the school psychologist i cut myself on my upper thighs and hips so that my underwear covers some of the scars.
She laughed. She said: "that's new! I never heard of this before!"
She laughed.
How could i be so stupid? How could she be so cruel?
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the-suicide-effect · 10 months
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Life went on
But it was never the same again
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bettythin · 1 year
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each cut is my escape, at-least my blood can be free
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stonespulledoutheart · 10 months
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i miss u
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bloodyrosesnthorns · 6 months
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the-crimson · 8 months
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After having time to mull over Dapper’s lore today I’m still just… devastated. I was theorizing this whole grand scheme with the federation but the reality was so much simpler yet so much worse.
Tw mentions of suicide and self harm
Dapper is incredibly depressed and thinks of themself as a tool, as worthless unless they are useful to the island. They don’t find enjoyment in their projects anymore and never finished many of them because they see no point. Dapper is actively committing self harm and is this close to killing themself through the Soul Vultures. They didn’t even seem worried at that possibility in their journal.
A lot of people in these situations take on incredibly dangerous tasks like this as an often subconscious form of suicide. If they die for the greater good then it’s okay. It’s worth it. Because dying trying to be useful is better than living and feeling useless.
Dapper thinks that making this potion easily accessible to the players will make them happy because they will be useful again but it wont and they are starting to realize that as seen towards the end of the journal. Dapper is screaming for help but she can’t reach out herself because she doesn’t want to burden anyone or put her family in danger. This entire project was a coping mechanism for his crippling depression and feelings of worthlessness - and a method of self harm and slow suicide - and now that it seems that they are done with the project… Dapper is gonna hit a cross roads.
Either they are gonna break and spill everything to Bad or they are gonna break and do something even more self destructive that may lead in their death but will 100% worsen their mental health.
Dapper needs serious help and support from his family right now. The birthday party today was massive and I think it’s a big step in the Dapper spilling the beans direction but Bad needs to step in. Not even as a “he’s the parent” but as a human. As a person. If u see someone committing self harm then u need to step in and help however you can before this person does something irreversible. As Dapper’s parent, Bad is the only person who could step in without causing further damage.
And Bad knows what Dapper is going through because Bad feels the exact same way. Like a tool. Like he is a hammer instead of the person wielding the hammer. Their situations are different for sure but they are similar enough that Bad can empathize with Dapper and help pull her out of this spiral the way no one else can.
I don’t even think Dapper will be upset at Bad invading their privacy because everything they’ve done over the last week has been a silent but desperate cry for help. They even said in their journal they want to tell bad they want to share this burden so desperately it’s tearing them apart.
Right now, more than anything, Dapper needs a solid support structure and he got that today with Bad and Pomme. Going forwards, Dapper is going to need them both (and Baghera but she’s kidnapped so, you know)
Hopefully during tomorrow’s stream Bad and Dapper will talk because Dapper is so close to spiraling completely and it’s not their fault. Dapper’s just a kid whose watched all their siblings die and been hunted and murdered themself. They are trapped in a gilded cage with everyone on the island, helplessly waiting for the day everything ends.
They are just a kid
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hecateash · 1 month
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Ive stopped trying to count the days i havent cvt because i know im going to again.
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lucyvaleheart · 2 months
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#so first of all I'm fine.#second of all I don't know if that's a lie or not but like. by some stretch it's gotta be true#so it doesn't count as a lie to my code of honor.#anyway. I keep fucking losing it y'all#I.... even now on depression medication I'm still breaking down what feels like fucking daily#it's just in different ways#crying harder than I have in a while and feeling more panicked about than like I'm releasing emotion#it's more distant but for some reason it's. easier to conceptualize uh#....tw here for like self harm and suicidal thoughts don't read the rest of these if you don't wanna see that#some reason it's easier to conceptualize the idea of. cutting myself? it never felt like a possibility before#id think about it and know I'd never do it. but. now....#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood#........there are so many people who's lives I've touched that would be saddened if I were gone but#it's.....harder to use that to ground myself. to pull myself away from the thoughts of just......#..........stopping#ending everything. i dunno. fuck.#....a few weeks ago I found myself wanting to roll out of the moving car and could feel myself able to#reach for the seatbelt buckle and the door handle#........im not okay and honestly I don't know if I care#sometimes I do but when I feel like this it feels impossible TO care#it feels so distant. i feel so distant. I feel so nothing and so bad at the same time#i feel so fucking ugly#so much self hatred rearing it's head where I thought I'd gotten past it#i have a therapy appointment at the end of March and I'm not sure if that's soon enough.
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katyspersonal · 3 months
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It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one
#/vent#personal#and this time was like.. opposite of the previous one#previous one absolutely wrecked me with very ugly insight and basically made all puzzle pieces fall together#this one was just pain and crying and having my worst suspicions about other person AND self faced and confirmed#but again it got solved#I really want the power to move on without having a closure.#I hope I will be strong enough for it one day.#I just need to think..#I think I really should avoid other depressed/traumatised people until something can be done with how I react at perceived threats#(which is eternity because hell I know when I will be able to afford therapy. probably never with how my life situation is going)#as jarring as being close only with 'healthy' people would be I just can't make things worse for both me and them#until I can change my default response from aggression into avoidance I'll just stay away from anyone with depression#I say very terrible things when I feel threatened and it is way too easy to make me feel threatened. it is THE easiest thing in the world.#I won't survive without close friends anyhow but there is category of people that can't recover from these words normally#I mean I am ALSO this 'category'. I also hurt from awful words thrown at me for MONTHS don't I#it is very hard to be aware of my glaring flaws when everyone that points them out is outright malicious and wants me bullied off the Earth#and then everyone who does think I deserve my human rights either doesn't see my flaws or doesn't mention them#so at least discussing it without outright intention to harm me was helpful for a change#maybe one day I'll have a friend that can be open if I've hurt them a lot so I can work on it but that's another story I guess
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coulsonlives · 8 months
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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the-suicide-effect · 11 months
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exodusx · 1 year
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I am fighting the urge to cut myself again. My fingers tremble at the idea of touching a cold and sharp blade again. My eyes are eager to see my skin being ripped open and blood slowly coming out from it. My heart wants a break from the emotional pain, sometimes it is too numb to feel emotions.
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wh0smarci · 6 months
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the urge to die rn is insane🤭
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waffled-iron · 4 days
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whoops
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various issues here
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