#selfish arrogant men bringing their own demise

[bbqhooligan]

i feel so bad i pity him so much cuz im just as godless as pathetic 👍 hate recognizing myself in Dostoevsky characters its always just like being dragged thru the mud

[basiltonbutliketheherb]

hello and welcome to my chappell roan ted talk

these days, more than ever, i am feeling incredibly disheartened by the treatment of female artists and the deep societal misogyny that it signifies. there is such a vast expanse between this and the typical experience of a male artists, that they have come to occupy an entirely different space in the cultural zeitgeist. male artists are often considered evergreen. allowed to make mistakes, to be rude, to release below average material and be given endless chances, to age, and to have problematic pasts and relationships. (yes, i am generalizing, of course male artists experience mistreatment as well, but generally to a lesser, and less permanent degree. we are talking about women today.)

the experience of a female artist is that of being constantly balanced on a knife’s edge. they are idolized, deified and built up to insanely lofty heights, then one (real or perceived) wrong move and they are viciously turned upon. they are built up almost solely so that they can be delicious to destroy.

we’ve seen this over and over in the past with people like taylor swift, demi lovato, britney spears, katy perry, kristen stewart, miley cyrus, ariana grande etc. (blake lively is a current example.) once they reach a level of overexposure and mass appeal, the vultures begin circling. one bad song, or thoughtless remark, or bad breakup, and they are public enemy #1. even when they do something truly problematic they are not allowed to learn and grow from it as men are. their purpose in society is immediately shifted from entertainment at their charm and success to entertainment at their suffering and demise.

this phenomenon used to be mainly sourced at the hands of media figures. journalists, talk show hosts, gossip sites, magazines. this highly visible upper echelon held all the cards and could sway the public in any direction they pleased in a pre internet monoculture, but now, with the rise of social media, billions of normal people have this power while being safely guarded behind a screen, or even wholly anonymous.

the recent years (and impact of younger generations growing up chronically online) have led to a sort of moral grandstanding, virtue signalling, victorianesque societal revolution. in this space there is no room for error. everything female artists do is taken out of context, twisted, and shamed. they are fully dehumanized and treated like a product belonging to the masses. a subject of discourse more than a person. they are expected to be perfect in every aspect, off the bat, with no room to make mistakes or learn. they need to be knowledgeable in every subject and never ever offend anyone, or do anything to bring anyone, anywhere, anything less than pure satisfaction.

there is no right move a female artist can make. if they take chances to further their career they are calculated, selfish, greedy, competitive. if they are content with the level of success they are at they are lazy, mid, a flop. if they are comfortable with their appearance and body size and aging, they are mediocre, not meant to be famous, a bad influence. but if they alter their appearance in any way they are fake, self obsessed, arrogant, and a bad influence. if they appear perfect, well spoken, kind, and generous then they are liars, manipulators, schemers. but if they appear blunt and not perfectly media trained then they are not cut out for fame, ungrateful, annoying, and spoiled.

( i am aware that i sound like the barbie movie monologue, but that doesn’t change the reality.)

the thing is, there have always been haters, trolls, liars who wanted to instigate the downfall of female celebrities. who couldn’t bear their success and admiration, and just wanted to burn it all to the ground. but today, in this social media generation, the call is often coming from inside the house. so often the ones to turn on famous women and treat them inhumanly, are their own supposed fans. people who are so obsessed with this perfect image that they project onto their fave. who feel so deeply entitled to their time, attention, and recognition that they feel personally slightly and attacked when things don’t go the exact way they want.

let’s take for example, the cancelling of taylor swift’s vienna tour dates.

these shows were cancelled by the venue management, due to a planned terrorist attack that was intended to kill 10s of thousands to 100s of thousands of people. due to the delicacy and danger of this whole situation, taylor swift decided to not mention the incident until after she had finished her european dates and was safely back in the US, as to not further endanger herself, her crew, and her fans.

this caused an unbelievable outrage. people who were both personally affected by the cancellations and those who weren’t, came for her throat. they were furious at her for not talking about it. for not coddling them and telling them how deeply sorry she was. for not grovelling at their feet and self flagellating to make it up to them. once she was back in the states she did in fact release a statement telling everyone how devastated she was over the whole experience and explaining how she felt it was important to stay silent until the right moment to speak on it.

now you’d think this would be enough to assuage the angry mob, but no. they doubled down and declared that it was too little too late, not enough remorse, and that they deserved even more of her attention and repentance. the whole behavior reeked of a desire to chain her to a post and throw bricks until she promises to do better next time and to give everyone their own personal concert and cradle them in her loving motherly arms, to make amends.

and these are supposed to be her FANS. people who were willing to spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars just to be in the same room as her. just to breathe her air.

now, taylor swift ultimately will be fine (i am talking career wise), she is one of the richest female celebrities in the world. no one can even come close to matching her music sales, fan base, legacy, and broken records. she can lose 10%, 20% of her fan base and still be on top of the world.

but now let’s look at chappell roan.

in the past 6 months or so chappell has rocketed to fame. as someone who has been a fan for ages, this explosion of recognition and admiration was both outstanding to witness, and deeply dread inducing. especially knowing that chappell stands out as a loudly queer artist, who is unique and deeply talented, who is open about her struggle with bipolar disorder and depression, and has no desire to whittle herself down for public consumption. all of this, while incredible and refreshing, was a clear warning sign for what was to come, given the history of female artist reception, even for those who check every box of being publically consumable.

in the past couple weeks there has been a massive wave of both “fans” and those who didn’t even know chappell previously, turning against her for sport. chappell roan released a statement after having nonconsensual interactions with crazed fans, having her family members stalked and doxxed, being yelled at and harassed on the street, and having her personal history, relationships, and childhood mined for exploitative content.

now this behavior may sound familiar. just the typical feral stan behavior that celebs often experience.

but one key factor here is that chappell is brand new to this level of exposure. her fame exploded before her income could from this success, far too suddenly to have taylor swift level security measures set in place around herself and the ones she loves. too sudden for anyone to adapt to their experience of existing in public, online, and even private spaces being permanently altered. she woke up to an entirely new world and had little time to figure out how to move within it without further damaging her own mental health and safety, and likely few people around her who had experienced even close to this caliber of success and could guide her through it. all with no major record label crafting her image or providing pr.

so, the statement. chappell has recently gone on social media and set boundaries for herself. for how she chooses to move within this new world. she has explained the way this rise to fame has impacted her mental health and filled her life with fear and anxiety. she has made her position clear that she is an artist professionally, but a human being when she’s off the clock. her career is just that, a job. an amazing job, yes, but she is still an autonomous person who is allowed to clock out. who is allowed to turn off the character that she puts on for performances, and be left alone when she is not at work.

this includes, (considered most egregious) fans not touching her without permission, coming up to her in public and asking for pictures or autographs, or shouting her legal name at her on the street and taking pictures of her. as well as not harassing the people in her life or sharing her personal information online.

now while these things all sound reasonable, and something any one of us regular folk would expect in our daily lives, this boundary setting is nearly unprecedented for female artists. anyone who has tried has been deemed a cultural blight.

celebrity worship and stan behaviour has lead to an extremely parasocial society.

fans feel it is their god given right to own every aspect of a celebrity. they “deserve” to know every detail of their relationships, their thoughts on politics and events, their secrets and shames and preferences and loves and traumas. they are “entitled” to their time, attention, and endless gratitude, no matter what they are going through or willing to offer up. female celebrities are solely there for the consumption of the general public, they are to be picked apart and chewed up strip by strip. fans “deserve” to touch them, take pictures of them, yell at them, just for a moment of recognition, validation of their obsession, a glimpse of heaven at the alter of their deity. this is just the way it is, has always been, and will always be.

but chappell roan has said NO. no, this is not the way it has to be. just because something has been tolerated in the past, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. doesn’t mean the future generations need to abide by the tradition of stalking, harassing, and devouring. doesn’t mean that it should be the norm to accept the potential of home invasions, hacking, and assassination attempts.

this simple act of boundary setting has caused an absolute outrage. media publications, other artists, “fans”, haters, and causal media consumers have come with pitchforks and torches to burn her at the stake. they say she is entitled and ungrateful, despite her explaining how deeply grateful she is to all those who support her and also support her privacy. they say she is a nobody and hasn’t earned the right to set boundaries. that society needs to swish her like wine in their mouths and spit her out once they’ve tasted enough, before she’s allowed to say anything other than “thank you thank you i love you i am not worthy”. they say she is not cut out for fame, because this is what fame is and has to be for all female celebrities. they do not get to have autonomy or choice. how absurd that they’d even try, how selfish and greedy and self important to think they deserve it??

of course true fans are going to rock with her no matter what, but chappell is brand new to most. to outsiders she is a face that appeared one day already cemented in a superstar position, and was suddenly unavoidable, confusing, and suspicious. the court of public opinion and the power of negative discourse have a weight to them which can easily overshadow the newfound success of a niche, less easily marketable celebrity like chappell, who has only just gotten her foot in the door.

in the midst of this discourse something else has occurred to deepen the gash of public animosity. chappell roan was given the career and life changing opportunity to perform at the VMAs for millions of people. an opportunity to grow her critical notoriety and fan base, as well as bring queer representation to the live screen, that would be a massive career misstep to pass up on. in accepting this opportunity, chappell was forced to cancel a couple shows that had been planned for a while. she tried to make the situation work for everyone, but ultimately was unable to. she expressed her regret and apologies and assured everyone that she would be rescheduling those shows when she had the chance.

as we have seen with the taylor swift vienna situation, this was NOT going to go down well.

“fans” came after her with a vengeance. they called her selfish, greedy, fake, and wicked for choosing her career growth over their personal experiences. said she was an ungrateful hypocrite for asking the world for space and then choosing the option to be unhumble and promote herself to the masses. the tickets were refunded, but people had CHOSEN to book hotels and fly out to see her in concert and thus blamed her for their financial burden. just as taylor swift “fans” did with the vienna tour dates.

as if chappell roan should be obligated to recoup them for the financial choices they made, and give them the experience they wanted right the fuck now, with the right level of humility, or else be deserving of punishment.

it is understandable for fans to be disappointed that they didn’t receive the experience they hoped for. that the situation was so sticky and immediate that they didn’t have time to cancel plans and grieve the loss. i know when i waited two hours after the opener at sabrina carpenter’s tour last year, just to find out she wasn’t able to perform due to bomb threats, i was heartbroken and angry at the world. i was frustrated with how the situation was handled by management, but i was not angry AT sabrina. i didn’t evicerate her online and demand that she FIX my heartbreak at once. i sat with my feelings and knew that there would be other opportunities, and that

sometimes life isn’t gratifying, no matter how fucking unfair it feels.

it is becoming more and more rare for any degree of understanding and grace to be given to female artists. every success i witness for the artists i appreciate (like this year for sabrina and chappell) fills me with a deep foreboding dread. because they are considered disposable and easily replaceable in this instant gratification, tiktok algorithm generation. everything has to be right now, done perfectly, and hold up to high moral inspection or else they are slotted for obscurity or public crucifixtion.

meanwhile, every aspect of these situations is deemed frivolous by society. they say if you don’t like it, get out and go work at dairy queen, there’s a line waiting behind you who are willing to appease us more. they say that having income from success immediately delegitimizes any social commentary or personal issues. because celebrities are not human beings. they are religious figures. they are both royalty and court jesters. they are toys to be played with ad nauseam, and then discarded.

but why?

why does it have to be this way? why does wanting to share your art with the world mean giving up your safety, privacy, and peace? why is it okay for male celebs to be grumpy and brash and never interact with fans, but it is a cardinal sin for female celebs to do the same or to transparently ask for it? and why is any of this important to you and i, who are barely scraping by and unlikely to ever be famous? why does it matter when these women generally still have some semblance of their careers leftover even after mass disdain?

because all of this is indicative of a greater issue that pervades every aspect of society. it is simply that with famous people we can see it on a macro scale.

all women and femme presenting people are held to the same standard as female celebrities, but on a less publicly visible level. in our careers, our relationships, our expressions of joy, our community and bonds with other women, and our own calcified internal misogyny.

we are here for consumption, we are here for the pleasure and entertainment of others. how dare we ask for more? how dare we know our power and set boundaries for ourselves? how dare we think we deserve a seat at the table, even as we age and grow and expand beyond the bounds of charming ingénue? how dare we collaborate instead of seeing each other as competitors and threats to our own power and beauty and ability to be loved?

how fucking DARE we ever get the idea that we are worth more than our youth and beauty and service to others?

i don’t know how we, as a whole, address any of this when the matter at hand is so deeply pervasive and engrained in the foundation of society. but i, for one, will start by looking at my own role in the treatment of female artists.

i will take the time to ask myself why even the existence of certain figures sparks a feeling of rage within me, and why i feel such a deep desire to know every detail, action, and thought of the artists i appreciate. why i feel joy and satisfaction when female artists i dislike are taken down, or “beat” by someone i prefer. why i let drama that has nothing to do with me alter my perception of art created by people i do not know personally. why my black and white thinking and sense of justice only applies to those who don’t resonate with me on an artistic or personal level.

i will work on finding grace and understanding for those who are trying to grow beyond their mistakes and be better people, the way that i am trying to everyday. those who exist both in the public sphere and in my daily life.

because it’s never too late to rip out the teeth of the bear trap we were born in.

long story short: chappell roan did nothing wrong. but if she ever truly does, all you can do is ask for accountability, then take a breath, get the fuck over it, and see the bigger picture for once

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[varcn]

    since i’ve been seeing different interpretations of the orichalcos & its effects, i’d just like to get mine out & how i will handle it regarding my muse / on this blog.

     the orichalcos itself is based on the metal ‘orichalcum’, that’s supposed to be the strongest & purest metal that cannot be destroyed. it’s mentioned in stories about atlantis & in the critias, & considered close in value to gold. now, i feel it’s not necessary for me to go into detail about the story of atlantis & how advanced life was before its demise, but the depiction of the orichalcos’ corruption in the series was a result from said darkness ( their arrogance, greed, pride, etc ). it brought it out & it manifested into people turning into literal monsters as to reflect on the outside what lies in the inside.  it doesn’t make you ‘evil’. it brings out the potential of being so. it’s meant to emphasize on that darkness within one’s souls, & the more one tries to suppress it, the more it will manifest while under the effect of the seal. humans are flawed by nature. they’re neither good nor evil, & this is where i want to touch more on doma as a whole & the effects the seal had in the trio.

     the goal was to cleanse the world from evil, which would ultimately be for nothing. dartz could’ve repopulated the world, but it would never be pure, because again, humans are flawed by nature. rafael saw just how easily people could turn their back on him & deemed them as evil, failing to realize that he too, just like dartz, just anyone else, is capable of ‘evil deeds’. it’s why him, along with atem & even dartz were affected greatly by the orichalcos. they all suppressed their darkness & ironically, with the use of the orichalcos, it was brought to light.

    at one point in the series, jounouchi & others accuse varon of brainwashing mai & he insists that none of that took place. that’s both true, but not entirely. mai’s negative emotions were there from the beginning. what the orichalcos did was to ‘bring them to light’ & with that revelation, one can become blind. just like the atlanteans prior to being punished. her arrogance & pride took over any reason.

    then, there are people like amelda, who may recognize others as evil, but doesn’t denounce himself as not. i think that the theme of his deck is a perfect example of that; using a war-themed deck despite his negative views towards it. he fought fire with fire. evil vs evil. i think amelda was aware that he was bad, but deemed people like gozaburo, & by extension, kaiba, as being even worse. his goal wasn’t to live in a world without evil, because he was very willing to die if it meant taking kaiba ( & mokuba ) with him. the orichalcos played a role, certainly, but i think the idea was there.

   * also worth mention that amelda, rafael & varon were all indoctrinated, meaning that not all of their actions / thoughts are a result of the orichalcos.

    & finally, there’s varon. i’ve seen people have this view about him being the ‘less of two evils’, & i’d like to ask  those people, what do you consider evil? because the other two had a goal in mind. they felt justified for what they did. varon didn’t. out of the three, he was the only one that ‘didn’t have much a choice’ & found freedom in joining doma.

    however, i’d like to remind anyone that while dartz intervened in their lives to push them closer to him, there was no way that he could’ve manipulated the situation so perfectly & have varon seek for the men who burned the church & possibly kill them. varon was selfish & violent even before the orichalcos, & i wouldn’t be surprised if he would’ve ended in jail had dartz not been in his life. he has said he’s there for the thrill & shows no care or concern about dartz or their goal. just because he didn’t use the seal against rebecca & otogi doesn’t make him better than the other two, because at the end, they could’ve been souls to feed to the leviathan. varon could’ve easily won & add to their cause, but he didn’t. why? because he doesn’t care about their goal. he was more preoccupied with impressing mai that he showed no hesitation to beat up a 12-year-old girl & otogi in the process, showing no remorse or mercy.  this is why i think out of the three, he was the least affect ( really wasn’t, tbh ). varon recognized he was selfish & embraced the darkness within his soul. if anything, living in said darkness was what pushed him to recognize the light. that, which he assigns to mai, but would later discover it goes beyond that, because i’m convinced he wanted to leave everything behind & ‘be better’ for the sake of someone he cared, since him on his own wasn’t enough.

[hafanforever]

Pride Comes Before the Fall

Even though his appearance in Frozen II is extremely short, and his treachery is revealed only in snow figure form years after his demise, the revelation of Runeard’s true personality and how it drove him to his death reminds me SO much of those of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

In his life, Runeard presented himself as a noble, kind, peaceful, generous, benevolent king and was truly believed to be as such by his people and staff. When he and his kingdom made peace with the Northuldra tribe of the Enchanted Forest, he had a dam constructed in the forest, gifting it as a peace offering between both groups of people with a purpose of bringing prosperity to the Northuldra’s land. What no one knew was that this image that Runeard presented to outsiders was a complete facade. He was secretly and truly a cruel, arrogant, ruthless, obsessive, selfish, egotistical, prejudiced, sadistic, murderous tyrant who cared for nothing and no one other than himself and his position as a monarch. Runeard hated and feared magic because he viewed it as a threat to his monarchal power; therefore, he actually distrusted the Northuldra SOLELY due to their relationships with the forest’s magical elemental spirits. All of these feelings consumed him so much that he wrongly believed that their magical ties made them believe that they were too entitled and far more powerful than a monarch like Runeard himself, which made him perceive them as a very great threat to his kingly rank and legacy. Determined not to give the Northuldra a chance to ruin him using the spirits’ magic, Runeard secretly plotted to eradicate them. He carried out his plan by building the dam, which would actually weaken the forest and limit its resources, forcing the people to turn to him in their desperation, then instigated a full-out war between the tribe and the Arendellians.

Likewise, Gaston is the most admired, popular, and respected man in his village, primarily because of his handsome, muscular appearance and incredible strength. But at the same time, the villagers are completely unaware and ignorant (or perhaps just too narrow/small-minded that they are totally unable to see anything wrong with him, or they just don’t care) of his true nature, which (unlike Runeard) he doesn’t even hide very well, if he’s even trying to hide it at all. Gaston is extremely arrogant, prejudiced, egotistical, conceited, narcissistic, rude, and superior, then later becomes very sadistic and ruthless. From the very beginning, Belle is the ONLY person in the village who sees Gaston for who he truly is. She does not like what she sees in him; therefore, she knows right away that he is not the right man for her. Though ironically, she is the one and only woman Gaston is obsessively fixated on marrying. Even after Belle flat-out rejects his advances and his marriage proposal, he remains relentlessly bound and determined to make her his wife. When Belle reveals that the Beast’s existence to the town and her friendship with him, Gaston becomes consumed with jealousy upon realizing that Belle is in love with a monstrous-looking creature rather than a handsome man like himself. He becomes totally intolerant and angered at the fact that this “monster” is his competitor, the one who poses a threat to him in vying for Belle’s heart. Further enraged, and offended, after Belle calls him the true monster, Gaston plots to eliminate the Beast in order to make Belle his once and for all.

So as I just described above, Runeard and Gaston are very alike with how proud, arrogant, superior, ruthless, prejudiced, and obsessive they are, especially when it comes to their respective goals and their persistence in attempting to achieve them. In Gaston’s case, he is set on marrying Belle and refuses to lose her to the Beast, so he conspires to kill the Beast to get him out of his way. In Runeard’s case, he is set on making sure the Northuldra don’t have a chance to challenge, threaten, or ruin his position as a monarch with their magic, so he conspires to eliminate them to get them out of his way.

In the end, however, it is Gaston and Runeard’s pride, arrogance, and prejudice that ultimately proved to be their downfalls. This is because they each start a fight with the innocent individuals they see as a threat and being in their way of what they don’t want to lose. Just before their deaths, both men are so caught up in and focused on trying to kill their enemy that they aren’t paying attention to their surroundings. They don’t stop and take a moment to notice the dangerous situations in which their battles have put them…until it’s too late.

Upon seeing the Beast climb up the castle’s balcony to embrace Belle, Gaston becomes more jealous than ever and fiercely determined to kill the Beast once and for all. He follows and stabs the Beast in the back with his knife while dangling from the balcony without any kind of protection or support. Being so focused on having just stabbed the Beast while also preparing to do it again, Gaston apparently does not even realize the dangerous spot he is in…until the Beast swings his arm backward at him in pain, causing Gaston to lose his balance when trying to dodge it, fall off the castle, and plunge into the ravine below to his death.

After he murders the Northuldra leader, Runeard tries to cover his tracks by instigating a battle between the rest of the tribe and his own people. He gets so caught up in fighting with one Northuldran that he apparently does not even notice when their fighting leads to them approaching a cliff…until the Northuldran manages to dodge him, leading Runeard to stumble and lose his balance, then hitting the man as he begins to fall over him, which pushes both of them over the cliff, causing them to fall down into the depths below to their deaths.

All in all, Gaston and Runeard learned the hard way, and in quite a literal sense (just as my title says), that pride truly comes before the fall. 😉😆

[menagerie-rpg]

「 MARCELLA CHEY 」

STRATUM: One AGE: Thirty-one OCCUPATION: Ringleader SUGGESTED FCS: Elodie Yung

CREATURE FORM.

BASILISK is the king of the serpents, said to have the power to kill with a single glance. Consequentially, the beast’s cage is surrounded by a one-way mirror. 

ABOUT.

Everyone has teeth, though only the top of the foodchain are willing to use it. This is an ideology you once struggled to swallow. But you relish in it, savour the taste of bloody victory now. Your former self is dead, foolish, for having mistaking idealism for an asset. In reality, many times had you died and risen again, betrayed by the very people you believed in. So you consider The Menagerie your home because it is Hell. But at least you sat so close to the throne. You fear not monsters nor Hellfire, no. Your night terrors are of an innocent you, kinder yet so defenceless, beckoning you to come back.

BIOGRAPHY.

All under the cut.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Violence.

I.

You are thirteen and have learned your heritage, which you were once proud of, was something to be ashamed of. Your mother explains that if she could’ve helped it, she would not have chosen to be what she is. You are confused and ask her why. She tells you it is because of the danger, the constant need to watch her back, and now having children who are also creatures have only made things worse. She no longer had the chance to be selfish when her hips broke carrying you and your sister. She explains that while it is important to have loyalty towards the cryptids. you could never reveal who you really are in public. Your powers have just started to fully form but now you must suppress them further because of the humans around you.

You are fifteen and arguing with your mother about family history day at school. You want to boast of your powerful lineage but she begs you to stop. You curse at her and slam the door, feeling ashamed as the snake in you swallows you whole, leaving behind the girl in order to sneak out late at night. At night, you mess with the humans because it is fun and calms you down. Sometimes they faint, sometimes they try to hurt you. Each day you learn that humans are more volatile than you are, at least for now.

You are seventeen and thrown in jail for being rowdy at a bar you had no business being in. You were arguing with a man too old for you about cryptids and why they are not inherently dangerous, and proved yourself wrong when you punched him. He dropped the charges after learning your real age, but the encounter still stuck with you. You never had understood why you had to assimilate with your peers when you were so much more than they were, but you knew if people knew your true identity -- that night in the bar could’ve been your last. This did nothing to quell your thirst for righteousness, but instead ignited the spark underneath you.

II.

You and your sister are partners in crime, always had been. But now especially since you both have begun protesting for cryptid rights. It was just blown off as college neoliberalism, but since has turned into something more serious. You have organized sit in’s with her, as well as a variety of events. You are not soft nor gentle like your mother wanted you to be, and your sister is loud and present. She is your inspiration because if things don’t get better in your lifetime, they can for hers.

You are rebellious and a thorn in your parents sides. Their growing concern only serves to irritate you further and push your agenda harder but your sister is also worried for her safety as well as yours. You try to assure her nothing bad will happen but agree to set up more boundaries. Secretly, you go off and do much worse alone. You anger strangers, dangerous strangers because you are arrogant. Sometimes, you think of yourself like a god. Other times, you’re so much more. But you never bring that back with you and your sister.

These dangerous strangers do not take lightly to being mocked and they make you pay. Well, they think they were making you pay but instead it was your dear sister who suffered. At a protest, you both were thriving. She left to get some water and was alone when she was attacked. Beaten over the head with a bat, you could barely recognize her face when the police asked you to identify her body. Her killers were found shortly afterwards, so as far as the law was concerned? Justice was served.

But it really wasn’t. Not until they were dead, or someone innocent who they love dearly were dead. As your sister’s body was lowered into the ground, you promised her that vengeance would be delivered.

III.

You became obsessed with revenge, but even more so with not letting her die in vain. Humans had to be somewhat sympathetic, right? Not all of them thought that all cryptids were savages, that was barbaric of them to make such a generalized statement. But as you grew older, you realized that perhaps it was not this life that your sister was meant to live anyhow. At least now wherever she was, she got to live her truth. You? You were still lying to everyone around you, especially yourself.

Your parents blame you and they are not subtle about it. She was the golden child, despite being similar to you. But death turned her into an angel, she was the ideal. You could never know the pain of losing a child, but you did know the pain of losing your own blood. You did not cope well, sometimes substance abuse made more sense than “family” time. Because there was only so much you could listen to before leaving. That’s right -- you became sick of being blamed for your sister’s death. It only fucked you up more. So one night, your parents lost both their daughters as your packed everything you had to escape.

You were far enough away from home where you decided to utilize your powers for money. It was true, humans didn’t necessarily hate all cryptids but they were amused by them and were willing to pay money to watch you do tricks. Men thought you were desirable because isn’t the snake the ultimate temptation? The snake forced Adam and Eve’s hand, and you now force others. A snake charmer you are, charming people into giving their money to you. But make no mistake, you weren’t always adored for your serpent like ways. No, many times you were met with violence. Sometimes you fell into a game of how to steal your stolen money back from the other humans.

One day, you tasted blood and you knew you didn’t want to stop.

They will all get what they deserve.

IV.

Mr. Michael Metzger once made the mistake of thinking you were a pretty little dame who wanted stardom, and he spoke to you like that. You quickly shut him down and told him either he paid up, or you would have no choice but to strangle him. He laughed in your face and said something about how he admired your spunk. When you first met Metzger, the Menagerie was simply a location with construction constantly surrounding it. But what you didn’t know was that he wasn’t here to be entertained by you, he was here to recruit you whether you liked it or not.

But what choice did you have? The Menagerie sounded like a utopia for cryptids, as if finally you could have a place to be yourself and bask in the glory. You learned shortly that it wasn’t the Paradise you dreamt of, but more of a functional Hell. He wanted to make you the ringmistress and of course you accepted. What else were you to do? You had one request, since Mr. Metzger seemed to be so powerful, and that was to help you kill your sister’s killer. A few days later, there they were in your tent, tied up and confused at how they escaped prison only to be in a completely new one.

You took joy in their death, and for that, you stupidly decided to trust Metzger. He seemed to be different and he paid you well so you never questioned him. But you should know that there is no human out there that can be trusted, there are only the loyal cryptids and the humans. You however learned that there is a time and a place to be defiant. Your sister would’ve said you sold out, since you now have power in some form and are sitting pretty on your throne in Hell. But your sister is also dead, now isn’t she?

V.

Perhaps to others, you look drunk with power. But you are always calculating, always watching every single move. You see how the humans treat the other cryptids and it takes everything in you to not bare your fangs and infect them with your venom. You think of yourself as the silent maternal figure, no one else would realize of your secret soft spot towards the others in the circus because you know it is best to keep your emotional distance. Sometimes you slip up, but not often.

Your dreams consist of a better tomorrow, but you also know to be realistic. Yes, once upon a time you believed that humans and cryptids could get along if you just tried to be fair. But nothing is fair when your kind is unwanted, so even if all you ever wanted was justice, that is a luxury you cannot count on anymore. Instead, you will take things into your own hands and place your faith with the other cryptids around you. Slowly but surely, you will get what you want.

These humans will pay, and you are determined for this. They all deserve to die, after all, it is the humans who can help their monstrous ways. You can’t control what your cryptid self does. You have made it your life mission from here on out, that there will be a new era of evolution and it will be glorious with all the cryptids around you. You as their queen. Make no mistake, you will come out of this on top, and anyone who dares to defy you will meet your wrath but never their demise. No, you will save your energy for the mass destruction of human culture, and when you become the supreme ruler, all you will do is laugh in the faces of those who hurt you.

[bhlland]

Isaiah 1-10

No offering at all is better than the proffering of an insincere one. Or so Isaiah's words would lead me to believe. A disingenuous faith would seem to disappoint the Lord more so than the soul that has no belief in the first place. Is that correct? Verse 15 details about the Lord hiding his eyes from the selfish believer that more than anything else seems to be using his posture to take advantage of God's extended grace. And perhaps that heart is even more hardened, certainly more deceptive, than the heart that still has room to be shaped.

The Lord, through Isaiah, tells us to stop doing wrong and to seek justice. And the question remains, what constitutes an empyreal justice? Defending the oppressed, advocating for the fatherless, rooting for the widow. Who better the examplar of demonstrating these methods of justice than Jesus so many years after the prophet's words were spoken and shared. There is an emphasis on obedience, once more, as a central tenet of our place as members of His Kingdom. And finally, a picture of the fate of the one who chooses to dwell in the things they believe are best for them. Point blank, destruction for the rebellious nation that repudiates the Lord. What I'm trying to see is the justice in God's wrath, which I know should be undeniably warranted, but it's still confusing to me because of my own fragile human conception of it.

 ~

 Men, whether spiritual or unspiritual, are full of arrogance. Our accumulation of wisdom causes us to think we know best. But when God is in the picture, how could we claim any authority over anything? When confronted with Justice Himself, what could I possibly bring to the table... we say, Lord please humble us, but do we really mean it? Why is it easier for me to trust people I can see and touch, than a God who operates in mystery? And I'm to be reprimanded if I don't, or so I'm sometimes led to believe by those same people clamoring for my trust. 

 ~

 The Lord threatens to strip Jerusalem & Judah of men of clever rank and capabilities, of leaders to steer either nation out of the ditch. But why this oppression? It seems warranted based on their blatant disobedience and overall defiance. There is no hiding their sinfulness. In fact, the people that Isaiah is preaching to seem to boastfully parade their sin like some kind of badge of honor. But you know, I couldn't be too unlike these Sodom-like folks. How many times do I blame the circumstances around me for my continued tangle with sin, instead of recognizing that my mere existing is just as much a targeted reason for blame, if not even more so because I'm so naturally pointed inwards? Yikes, this is getting a bit tiring to constantly put myself down. It still seems hard for me to reconcile the sinfulness that makes me obviously wicked with an all-encompassing love that redeems that same deviltry. How can I be eternally unworthy, yet simultaneously instilled with worth in perpetuity? I can believe that to be the truth, but that doesn't mean I still don’t get fuddled up every now and again, either by provocative yet sensible arguments piercing my heart inwards or from the inner turmoils of my own lingering unbelief.

 ~

 I get that the sense that this transition is meant to point to a larger nature of hope to believe in. The Branch of the Lord, a seemingly symbolic appellation for Christ, is it not? There is purification (hints of baptism?) mentioned, and references to clouds of smoke and pillars of fire. Perhaps these images are included to reinforce the image of an authoritative and dynamic God... is there any other significance in these verses?

 ~

 It isn't too difficult to surmise the essence of the parable; there being certain blessings and care sowed unto the Israelites, their disappointing Him, and their rightful and deserved ruin. And it seems to originate out of us and our imperfectness, rather than Him placing any kind of deceit in our hearts. So is the design faulty? I'm still not sure how to answer that, considering the Creator's intentional attention to detail. 

My heart still clamors to understand the justice of God. By all accounts, it should be in and of itself objectively just. There must be more to God's detestation of sinners than just their act of transgressing the Law or the Word. The justice of God is so appointed, and so worthy of reverence, because it is a necessary vindication on account of his holiness and authority. And so all these woes that point fingers at the deceitful transgressor seem to highlight the importance of God's "anger not turning away." There seems to be a time to talk about grace, without leaving out any conversations about His necessary justice.

 ~

 Isaiah's eagerness seems prompted out of awe, yet at the same time dread. We get a glimpse of God's magnitude in the description of His robe filling the temple and in the seraphim's chant. Why does God instruct Isaiah in the ways that He does? I can certainly understand the telling of these outcomes as consequences to the Israelite's sinfulness, and yet God seems to want to preclude those same Israelites from turning away from their self-righteous judgments and towards any kind of healing. Does God just want to give up the wicked man to his own blindness because they aren't inclined to receive the truth in the first place? Maybe He knows the stubborn heart better than I do... still, it's hard to see the mercy in this holy requisition. 

I guess even if the cities burn down and the land becomes forsaken, there will remain even just a few seeds out of the crowd to be sowed and reaped. But I wonder if that purging of His Kingdom is meant to come across as so exclusionary, or if that's just my personal myopic conception of it. There's a lot of eschatological underpinnings in this particular prophecy, yet I also wonder if I might be reading too much into it..

 ~

 I remember Ahaz... what a wicked guy. The only reason Judah wasn't trampled over was because he chickened out and pledged allegiance (+ gold) to the Assyrian king Tiglath-Pileser. I read God's words to Ahaz through Isaiah more as an appeal for Ahaz to find some sincere belief in his heart for the Lord's providence rather than in foreign kings and nations. Essentially, like God's saying "when you are in the depths of your distress, or even at the peak of confidence, find some room to see Me in the landscape of it all." But Ahaz sharply refuses; his belief is shaky from the start, and this unwillingness to commune with God affirms his stubborn heart to see things from his own shortsighted platform.

Assyria's conquest of Judah and the subsequent settling of scattered Israelites in the regions of Samaria comes with years of foreign oppression; and Assyria is depicted as the Lord's "instrument." So was this all intentional on His part? To bring his people into an extended period of misery, perhaps to teach them a lesson? What an unconventional way to do this, considering the nature of God we've painted for ourselves in our contemporary church.. yet somehow this all fits into His framework of divine justice.

 ~

 Isaiah's talking about the inevitability of mankind's doom, probably on account of their sinfulness, comes across as simultaneously hopeful but also hopeless.. hopeful in the sense that we have been given a decent heads-up on the darkness and gloom that accompanies living apart from God per our own selfish ways, but also hopeless because it seems an already predetermined fate no matter what we could do in anticipation of it. Is that sensible? 

The question arises again on if I am willing to believe in the face of adversity; can I still remain "firm in my faith" when the crowd around me advises otherwise? It's a choice between light and darkness, and it seems quite straightforward a choice, even elementary. But when the human heart realizes the sacrifice that comes along with making that choice, there begins the inception of unbelief... Jesus epitomizes sacrifice on behalf of people outside of Himself. I wonder why it's so hard for me to do the same.

 ~

 The famous words, echoed every Christmas season: "For to us a child is born", and so on... and in the context of Isaiah, it accentuates this transition from darkness to light, this marked ambition to hope in a Greater Perhaps. Jesus' coming promises a codification of a holy peace and justice and righteousness. 

And then, a further highlight of this objective justice and righteousness is manifest in the Lord's wrath. It's the everlasting subject of scrutiny to members both inside and outside of the church. What is our justification for God's wrath being just? Is any wrath truly just? Well, what is the object of that wrath... foolish and ungodly humans that devour each other without second thought. Does community mean anything, if we are so quick to throw it away to indulge in our own biases? 

The mantra "His hand is still upraised" continues to ring.

 ~

 The Lord is just in singling out Assyria, by Scriptural context His agent in instrumenting Judah's demise, for its grandstanding predisposition in elevating itself and its political prowess as being sourced from its own intrinsic capabilities as a foreign self-ruling militaristic nation. Within a contemporary framework, I find this commensurate to pompous self-proclaimed religious folk waving around their invisible badges of moral superiority in essence motivated by the willful prides of their hearts. This localized tumor of Christian attitude is hardly anything new. But what's interesting is Isaiah's talk of what remains of Israel following God's assured judgment. 

A shift in reliance from the men and women we intuitively raise up (or desire to see knocked down) to the Holy One of Israel. Any kind of judgment and correction hurts. But in that brief duration of suffering and confusion, the Israelites are granted deliverance from their oppressors. If I am willing to endure, can I too look forward to my emancipation from the heavy-handed subjection of sin? 

[gothicastrology]

Lilith - The Black Moon

(these interpretations apply to everyone, despite your pronouns. she/her pronouns are often used to describe Lilith. these interpretations do not only apply to people with she/her pronouns)

Lilith influences our dark side. Our deepest fears, desires, and secrets lie with her. Lilith cannot bring happiness and she will not cause real life events, she can only influence us to cause them ourselves. We have a choice with Lilith. She lies in the emotional and subconscious realm, and if we focus, we can triumph over her temptations. If we indulge in her, she will ultimately lead to our destruction. The sign of Lilith determines how our dark energy is expressed and the house she lives in shows where that dark energy manifests itself. 

Lilith in Aries (Arrogance): Her darkest side is expressed in aggressive and arrogant ways. She is a belligerent being who rarely takes no for an answer. She will fight her way to the top and crush those in her way. Her enemies are usually her male peers and she has the karma of a murderer. She has an apparent obsession with her physical body and will use it to exploits others. If she fails to learn to control her dangerous tendencies, she will find herself severely harming those she loves. 

Lilith in Taurus (Avarice): She expresses a need for controlling everything. She wants everything. She craves material things and has a large appetite for whatever appeals to her. She is stubborn and will do anything to gain wealth and materials. She gives into sloth, greed, lust, and gluttony. Her enemies are her female counterparts and she has the karma of a hoarder. If she fails to learn to control her materialistic desires, she will only lead to her own destruction. 

Lilith in Gemini (Pomposity): Her dark side is selfish. She believes everyone is absorbed with her ideas and opinions. When interrupted, she can get violent. She wants her voice to be heard. She can often stretch the truth and is known for being a superficial liar. She is difficult to fool and can see straight through the lies of others. She will never offer her advice; she will instead violently force her advice upon all. She is known for having many enemies and possesses the karma of a gossiper. If she fails to learn to humble herself, listen, and refrain from deceiving others, she will find herself in a situation three times worse than those of her enemies.

Lilith in Cancer (Trickery): She exploits others feelings and uses this to express her dark side. She has such a great understanding of the emotional realm, that she wants to abuse that realm for others. She is a damsel in distress waiting for someone to help her, despite the fact that she is not in peril. She needs emotional ties to others, so she can harm them easily. She knows what she wants and she’ll be very specific, especially regarding domestic life. Because of her ultra precision, there is a chance that her immediate family members could become her enemies. She has the karma of a traitor. If she fails to learn to respect the emotional realm of others, her own realm will be slaughtered.

Lilith in Leo (Vanity): She is self-centered in every way, shape, and form. She expresses her darkness in dramatic ways. She believes she is one of the most important beings ever. She praises the things she loves and is known to worship objects and oppose god worshiping. She expects others to worship her, but she would never admit something like this. She will boast and she will make unimpressive situations as dramatic as possible. She resents brilliant and dignified people and has the karma of a gambler. If she fails to learn how to reduce the amount of jealousy and vanity she feels, she will lead to her quick destruction.

Lilith in Virgo (Cynicism): She is the most innocent of the 12, yet a great manipulator. She depends on others and will manipulate them when they believe they can trust her. She makes others feel powerful by playing the role of the underdog. If she advances to a position of power, she follows all rules. She is aware of her inner emotional tempest. She knows if it is unleashed, confrontation will arise. She is a critical and greedy being. She doesn’t get along with those she works with and has the karma of a lackey. If she fails to learn how to control her emotions and fails to rise to a position of power, she will forever be the underdog and ultimately meet her demise unsatisfied. 

Lilith in Libra (Elitism): Her dark side is expressed through her partner. She is a bad influence on her sexual and romantic partners and this will be very clear to her. She is an emotionally demanding person to be with. She won’t be ashamed, however. She believes that it is an honor for others to be around her. She believes herself to be higher than the rest in terms of social class. She considers her feelings to be the most important ones, despite their constant fluctuations. She has a hard time making decisions and is often uncertain. Her partners can quickly turn in her enemies and she struggles with them. She has the karma of an unjust judge.

Lilith in Scorpio (Oppressor): She exploits sexuality. She is a cunning and manipulative being. She is arguable of the most dangerous. She manipulates the emotions of others simply for pleasure. She wants to learn the deepest and darkest secrets of others. It is likely that she will use these to blackmail others. She is attracted to dark magic that can be used to harm others. She has great strength and power and abuses it. She’s a tyrant. Her enemies are the powerful and wealthy. If she refuses to learn how to find pleasure in more than emotional manipulation, she herself will be manipulative and brought to her painful demise.

Lilith in Sagittarius (Megalomania): She believes in absolutism, and she is the monarch. Like her sister, she believes everyone is simply begging to be spoon fed by her. Whatever her skills are, she believes herself to be the best. She expects others to treat her like a deity. She is incapable of making mistakes. She denotes liars and hypocrites, but she herself is often guilty of being both. Her enemies are scientific thinkers who try to prove things in a way she doesn’t accept. She has the karma of a false prophet. If she fails to learn how to exert herself as a positive, caring, and accepting leader, she will find herself falling into poverty and reaching her demise. 

Lilith in Capricorn (Machiavellian): She feels she is capable of completing even the most difficult tasks. She has much self confidence, which others perceive as selfishness. She has a cold heart and thinks in a rational way. She wants to rise to the top and will have a hard time accepting if she doesn’t. She doesn’t aggressively fight for the top, she instead strategically thinks of a way to crush her enemies and those in her way. She wrestles with emotions and rarely expresses them in a successful way. She has the karma of a despot and finds enemies in men older than she. She is tempted by power and it will ultimately lead to her demise if she isn’t careful.

Lilith in Aquarius (Protester): She is a disorderly being. She never strives for perfection, and instead, subconsciously strives for chaos. She aspires to be complete free and will do whatever it takes to achieve this. She will recklessly search for something new. She often gets bored and is seduced by anarchy. She shows irresponsibility and exaggerates her greatness. She belittles her closest friends and often finds past best friends as her current enemies. She has the karma of a anarchist. If she fails to learn from the past in order to thrive in the future, her future will be dark and unwelcoming. 

Lilith in Pisces (Fantasist): She lives in her dark dreams and ideas. She is close to incapable of separating her dreams from reality. She believes her dreams to be reality. She will convince others that her dreams contain truthfulness and she will deceive others willingly. She clings to her fantasies. She hides her true intentions and will create illusions simply for the pleasure of fooling others. She doesn’t always see the value in human life and often considers people to be indispensable. She possesses the karma of an addict. If she fails to overcome her addictions and fantasies, she will lead herself to her own destruction

My dark energy manifests in…

Lilith in the 1st House: My overall personality and ego

Lilith in the 2nd House: The way I treat the things I value

Lilith in the 3rd House: The way I communicate with others

Lilith in the 4th House: My domestic activities

Lilith in the 5th House: My creative outlets

Lilith in the 6th House: How I organize my life

Lilith in the 7th House: My intimate relationships

Lilith in the 8th House: My sexuality and hidden life

Lilith in the 9th House: My philosophical ideas and wishes

Lilith in the 10th House: How I express my authority

Lilith in the 11th House: The way I treat my friends and those in need

Lilith in the 12th House: My subconscious temptations

(x)

[dylanstewartboxing]

Preview: Manny Pacquiao vs. Adrien Broner, A Freak Show worthy of the Las Vegas Strip

 As fight week draws closer to a close, you can begin to feel the tension rise between Pacquiao and Broner. What was all laughs in November has become much more serious come fight week. (Scott Hirano/SHOWTIME)

It is somewhat fitting that the long-awaited matchup between Senator Manny Pacquiao and frequent arrestee Adrien Broner is taking place at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. The same venue that has housed Circus Du Soleil, David Copperfield, and, Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao. The connection all the previous mentioned shows have is they have the Las Vegas taste to them. They captivate, they bring something that you could only expect from Sin City. Manny Pacquiao vs. Adrien Broner fits in with all in the genre perfectly. This fight between the “Pac-Man” and the “Can-Man” certainly couldn't be confused with the plight of other high-level matchups that Showtime has on the first half of their schedule in 2019. It doesn't fit alongside matchups such as Errol Spence Jr. vs. Mikey Garcia, or, Gervonta Davis vs. Abner Mares, or the rematch between heavyweight kings Deontay Wilder vs. Tyson Fury. It fits into its own category, and that isn't a bad thing. This matchup is fascinatingly odd, there are levels to the oddity of this matchup and the storylines going in and out of the blockbuster fight on January 19th. And it is in the oddity, and the storylines, that you have a massive Pay-Per-View worthy showdown that features two of the biggest draws in the sport, past their prime. Sounds familiar? doesn't it? 

The Redemption Story:

Adrien “The Problem” Broner, 29, has been no more a “problem” for his opponents inside the squared circle as he has for himself outside of it. Broner, at one point was one of the most heralded fighters in the world. Considered by some to be a future Pound-For-Pound best in the sport. Veteran ringside commentator Jim Lampley once said after Broner TKO’d Gavin Rees on an HBO telecast in 2013 “How long is it before we put Broner somewhere near their league [Andre Ward & Floyd Mayweather]. It’s too early for that yet, but clearly that will be the target...” Lampley continues his sentiments, “By all lights, what we see here, appears that somewhere down the road, that discussion will take place.” We never got to that point down the road. Hindsight is 20/20. Anyone who had an opinion on boxing saw a bright future from the then budding protégé to one Floyd “money” Mayweather. At the time, Broner was only 23 years old, and he had already traversed two weight categories winning and defending championships at both super featherweight and lightweight. He achieved a record of 25-0 with no fights remotely close. He had also achieved massive economic successes at by his clear talent, and relationship with Mayweather. Broner had over one-million dollars in the bank at the time of the Gavin Rees fight. He was on top of the world. And, for a man who grew up with nothing, Broner himself will tell you he didn't- and many would argue he still doesn't know how to act with all the success that came at an early age. “I come from water and cornflakes” is a quote that Adrien “About Billions” Broner often barks out to point out his struggle of an upbringing. He often says boxing saved his life, in fact it’s a phrase Broner has used since he was 12 it certainly doesn't show. Broner now has the ego of a glutton, rather someone who came up from nothing. Broner’s egotistical nature is at the root of his unfocused approach to boxing which has been quite visible over the last five years. It is in that eleven fights-five-year period, from the Rees fight to his most recent draw against Jessie Vargas, that the narrative would eventually formulate that Adrien Broner has become a “letdown” and that his career is a far-cry from what could have been. It is evident the skills that Adrien Broner still has, he is a top-flight pugilist when he’s at his best. The twelfth round against Shawn Porter, the second half of the Jessie Vargas fight, the fact that he is the youngest ever four division world champions, and his initial 27 fight unbeaten streak could all be used as circumstantial evidence to prove that a hungry, focused Adrien Broner is a dangerous one and the reason you cannot quite rule him out against an aging Manny Pacquiao. Unfortunately, a focused Broner is something seldom seen as of recent years. It seems like a “do-or-die” angle is created by the Showtime producers, and a promise of a “re-focused” Broner. We all know, truth be told, he hasn’t been focused in recent years. He simply cannot avoid run-ins with the law, attempted robbery charges, sexual battery charges, and most recently, two separate sexual misconduct charges in two diffrent states. He was supposed to be in court in the states of Florida and Ohio on the same day just two weeks before the biggest and most important fight of his career against Manny Pacquiao on the 19th. Also, frequent videos of drug and alcohol abuse, embarrassing public behavior, and an affection for clubs and the party lifestyle have left Broner at rock bottom more than once. To say Adrien Broner is 100% focused seems illogical from an outsiders perspective, but, the rhetoric from Team Broner headed by coaches Kevin Cunningham, an ex-police officer, well known for his strict style of fight preparation, and, Mike Stafford who has been with Broner since he was seven years old, is that this is the most focus and the most well prepared Broner has been for a fight in years. Also, according to Steve Farhood (Showtime’s Hall-of-Fame commentator), The Showtime Sports All-Access crew who documented the entire training camp of Adrien Broner said Broner has worked tremendously hard in this training camp and he seems to be truly focused on the task of beating one of the greatest of his era, Manny Pacquiao. For all wrong Broner has done in his career, a dominate, statement making win could rectify what would otherwise be considered an overall disappointment, and Adrien Broner and his close-knit team are fully aware of that rare opportunity.

The Economics:  

 Manny Pacquiao, a Senator, a philanthropist, the most humble millionaire you will ever meet, endearing to everyone he meets,  if there was ever a better representative for the sport of boxing, I do not know who that person is. Manny Pacquiao is the ultimate protagonist. He, like his counterpart, Broner also comes from nothing. A wooden and metal shack on an impoverished island country with little to eat. Pacquiao has the outcome of someone you would expect came from nothing, and his countryfolk as well as boxing fans and media universally adore him for it. Adrien Broner is the clear perfect candidate to be Manny Pacquiao’s antagonist. He’s brash, arrogant, flashy, selfish, and a headline grabbing trash talker. These two men come from very similar backgrounds, but they have become polar opposites with time. Sometimes a fight just makes sense, this is one of those times. You have a clear good guy vs. a clear bad guy. This is a fight that could sell itself  just based on the personalities involved. 

When the announcement came from left field that Manny Pacquiao would be signing with Al Haymon’s Premier Boxing Champions stable after spending an entire career with direct rival Bob Arum’s Top Rank Promotions, it was clear what he was after. He wants the big names, and most importantly he wants the biggest name of them all, a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. 

This fight in particular, Pacquiao vs. Broner has been spoken about for around two years now. This dates back to a post Mayweather Pacquiao looking for big name opponents to get him big money and allot of attention. This fight made economic sense for all involved, except Broner who was offered only one-million dollars at the time from Pacquiao’s former promoter Bob Arum. That, of course brought negotiations to a screeching halt, the fight was dead in the water for years despite obvious fan intrigue in the bout. A couple of years later, Manny Pacquiao and Adrien Broner were under the same roof and now the stars have aligned. You can’t help but to get somewhat of a feeling that Showtime is “using” Broner given his recent track record of losing high-profile fights against the upper echelon. After all, boxing is a money business first and foremost. Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao 2 makes MONEY. There’s a clear route set up, and it is brilliant planning by Showtime if it plays out in the most likely of scenarios. 

One thing that remains a constant, Broner is a ticket seller and he is must-see television. He’s only hit under the 500,000-viewership mark one time since he began headlining events with his 2013 main event attraction against well respected Brooklynite Paulie Malanaggi. Those are unheard-of numbers for a premium cable network in the 2010′s.  He is one of the few legitimate stars in boxing, when he is in the ring, people watch. Whether it is out of spite, or out of love, people tune in. Broner can move a needle despite never headlining a pay-per-view event himself. Allot of his star comes from his more than frequent visit to the headlines, he is what I would consider the most polarizing figure in prizefighting. From arrests, to relentless trash-talking, to truly funny one-liners. Adrien Broner is a salesmen, and more often than not, you get what you pay for. There isn't a single fight out of his 37 that could be considered “boring”. Unlike his style predecessor, Floyd Mayweather, Adrien Broner is known to be comfortable in the pocket. He will not back down from a firefight, be it to his own demise and the fans approval, or vice versa. You can call Adrien Broner allot of things, but you certainly cannot call him boring.  Manny Pacquiao has been a PPV star for the bulk of his career making his PPV debut all the way back in 2005 with his first fight with Erik “El Terrible” Morales. Since then, Manny Pacquiao has broken one million PPV buys on seven separate occasions, and he’s brought home over $1 Billion dollars in PPV revenue alone. Like his opponent, Manny Pacquiao is one of the rare five in boxing that can draw massive numbers and transcend into the more casual sphere of sports. That is why this fight is the perfect appetizer for a Floyd “Money” Mayweather rematch. This is big business. 

Manny Pacquiao’s Late Career Revival:

Senator Manny Pacquiao, 40, boxing’s only eight division world champion, first ballot Hall of Famer, multiple time fighter of the year, the arguable best of an entire generation, everyone who has remotely hovered around the sport of boxing for some time over the past two decades knows the movie-like story of Manny Pacquiao. They are also aware of his pugilistic excellence that he has exuded over the past twenty years inside the boxing ring. Capturing world titles in eight separate weight divisions- from light flyweight all the way up to light middleweight. He has shared the ring with a who’s who of boxing royalty, four fights with Juan Manuel Marquez, three fights with Erik Morales, two fights with Marco Antonio Barrera, Oscar De La Hoya, Miguel Cotto, and most notably Floyd Mayweather. It is remarkable that someone of Pacquiao’s age and his prestige is fighting at the highest levels of the sport, especially considering the amount of wars he has been in throughout a what will be on Saturday night, seventy fight career. Manny Pacquiao doesn't have a risk adverse style by any means. He’s one of the all time great offensive fighters in the long and rich history of boxing, he’s been in allot of tough fights, and to be preforming in such a way that he did against then WBA ‘Regular’ Welterweight Champion Lucas Matthysse this past July, it is almost like we’ve gone through a time warp back to 2009. And, the boxing public can’t get enough of it. Of course, this late career revival will come with consequences. There have been allegations in the past by more of the conspiratorial minded that Manny Pacquiao is a dirty fighter, that he uses steroids. This allegation steams from a contract dispute that Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao had when the original contest was supposed to take place after Manny Pacquiao beat Miguel Cotto in 2009. The fight was intally agreed on, after it was settled both men would split $50 million upfront, but there was a conflict between both Team Mayweather and Team Pacquiao on the drug testing. Mayweather was hard-set in favor of blood testing by The United States-Anti Doping Agency, Team Pacquiao was hard-set on not being blood tested within 30-days of the fight taking place as “it would weaken my fighter.” said Freddie Roach. Thus, the fight was called off, and the anti-Pacquiao propaganda from Mayweather and his backers began, likewise the claims of Manny being a drug cheat. These allegations have resurfaced from commenters both credible and not, after Pacquiao’s fantastical turning back of the proverbial clock against Lucas Matthysse. This was not the same Manny Pacquiao we have seen in fights from the Juan Manuel Marquez knockout loss on (2012-2018) we saw a much diffrent Manny Pacquiao in those fights, an older version of the man that once was over his next seven bouts. This was a physically faster, stronger, more spirited version of an old Manny Pacquiao. And there are plenty of reasons that could attribute to what seems like a late-career resurgence. One, he could be easing more into the groove of being both a senator and elite level prizefighter, you have to imagine he couldn't have been completely focused on fighting when he was dealing with all of his political asperations outside of boxing. Now, he has a secured job as Senator, and more experience with balancing both boxing and politicking. There is no true incriminating evidence that Manny Pacquiao has ever used or is using steroids. He hasn't ever tested positive on a drug test in all his time taking them. And for this fight with Adrein Broner, he looks to be in even better shape than he was last July, and they have been testing under the WBA’s mandatory VADA testing since training camp began. Both fighters are clean until otherwise proven dirty, Manny Pacquiao is an extreme outlier for someone his age to be as fast, as strong, as powerful and as athletic he is. That just shows you how special Manny Pacquiao is. 

A flattened, shocked, Lucas Matthysse coming to his senses after a vintage Manny Pacquiao knocks him down and eventually finishes him in the fifth. (Action Images/Reuters/Lai Seng Sin)

After Manny Pacquiao’s sixth round knockout loss (now dubbed “the shot heard ‘round the world”)  to Juan Manuel Marquez in their fourth fight together, many called for Pacquiao’s retirement then and there, it would have been unimaginable to think he would be fighting on six years after and in nine fights. He went on a three fight win streak looking decent, but no better against Brandon Rios, Timothy Bradley, and Chris Algieri thus setting the stage for “The Fight of The Century” even if it was six years past when it should have taken place. The fight, and the potential rematch, will both be covered in full in my book slated to come out at the end of the year, Pacquiao would of course lose that fight in less than spectacular fashion citing a shoulder injury that hindered his ability to use his lead right hand. He took one more fight before “retiring”, that was a little wanted trilogy bout with Timothy Bradley. Pacquiao would cruise to a decision. This was and seemed like it was going to be Pacquiao’s last fight, especially considering the issues Pacquiao was having with his then newly acquired career in Philippino politics. The fight was nearly cancelled due to some obligations that Pacquiao had to attend to on a governmental front. He would then unretire (as many boxers do) a remarkable seven months later and dominate a much larger Jessie Vargas in a near shutout decision in Las Vegas. Then, the entire Manny Pacquiao comeback contingency plan was exploded by a rough and rugged Jeff Horn and a controversial decision by three judges at ringside in Horn’s backyard. A Floyd Mayweather rematch was expected to be next, but after the loss, more rumors of retirement would come, and Pacquiao wouldn't fight for the rest of the calendar year as he was attending to senatorial duties and recovering from the Jeff Horn fight. The aforementioned fight with Lucas Matthysse come one-year and one-week to Manny Pacquiao’s loss to Jeff Horn. He would go on to dispatch Matthysse in a familiar aggressive Pacquiao fashion, knocking down the Argentine slugger three times in five rounds. We saw a flash of a past Manny Pacquiao in the ring this past July, it didn't look like a “prime” Manny Pacquiao, but it didn't look much diffrent than the Manny Pacquiao that brutalized Miguel Cotto or Oscar De La Hoya if you squint hard enough. Granted, Lucas Matthysse picked up a reputation of being a “quitter” in his later years, but he had also picked up some decent wins before facing Manny Pacquiao last July. This fight with Adrien Broner is the toughest fight on paper that Manny Pacquiao has been in since his losing effort against Floyd Mayweather all those years ago at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. We are here again, we are at the crossroads, the astronomical economical rematch with Floyd Mayweather lies on the other side of the street, the only thing in Manny’s path to revenge is Adrein Broner. Likewise with Broner’s question of focus and dedication, we have a question of Manny Pacquiao, has he gotten old overnight? will we see the Pacquiao we saw lose to Jeff Horn in heartbreaking fashion? we can only speculate until we see the “legend face the letdown” as Steve Farhood astutely observed. One thing that is undeniable, this fight is going to be fireworks from the beginning to the conclusion, especially if both polarizing figures enter the ring at their respective peaks for being past their primes. 

Prediction: 

Anyone who tells you they have a real read on this fight is lying. This is one of the more unpredictable fights I have witnessed in my years of being a boxing spectator. In one corner, you have Adrien Broner, the youngest ever four-division world champion. An underachiever with a chip the size of his ego on his shoulder. He has all the motivation in the world to actually SHOW up for this fight. This is his chance to write a new chapter for himself and his career. And, judging by the rhetoric from his corner and the ones in the know, this is the hungriest and most focused Adrien Broner has been in a long time. It is always a question if Adrein Broner will preform to occasion and to expectation, but I for one am buying into the notion that he is truly focused for this fight. He has had a much more monotoned fight week, usually there is no shortage of drama from the colorful Broner on fight week, all we got this week was Adrien calling out Showtime’s Al Bernstein for “setting him up”, “going against him”, and for being a “b*tch ass ni**a “ that’s mellow compared to what we have experienced in times past. Manny Pacquiao has had an important reverse of roles as well in Las Vegas during this fight week. The usually hyper focused but warm Pacquiao was all smiles, all week long. He has been laughing, joking, and opening up more so than he ever has in his high profile matchups. You can get the sense this is a more relaxed version of Manny Pacquiao, it feels as if he is at home. His camp headed by longtime cutman turned head coach Buboy Fernandez and seconded by longtime head coach turned cutman Freddie Roach has been the best he’s had in years. Roach has been on record saying this version of Manny Pacquiao hits just as hard, and is just as strong as the Pacquiao of past years. Whether that be true or not is to be foreseen, Pacquiao’s conditioning can not be called into question however as he looks to be in awe-inspiring shape for a man who just turned 40-years old. He looks to be finally fitting into the welterweight mold better than he has in fights prior. We may very well see the best versions of Manny Pacquiao and Adrien Broner relative to their post-prime positions in the ring on Saturday night, and that is all that we can hope for. 

From a historical based-technical viewpoint, I expect a high class firefight in the ring on Saturday night. Assuming Manny Pacquiao is the same Pacquiao we saw thrash Lucas Matthysse into submission, and Adrien Broner is the same Broner (if not better) that fought ferociously for a draw against Jessie Vargas in April, we could have a real treat on our hands. Adrien Broner, while coming from the Floyd Mayweather mold, has some major stylistic differences to Floyd. He mainly boxes out of a high guard, and while it does remain true that Broner is indeed a natural counterpuncher, he is a fine offensive fight as well. He has been criticized in fights previous, namely the Mikey Garcia fight for shelling up in his high guard when pressed with smart, fundamentally sound aggression, something Manny Pacquiao has in spades. Broner will need to shy away from his typical catch and counter style that he has applied in previous fights as that will most likely spell his doom against one of the finest offensive fighters of all time. For Adrien Broner to win this fight, I believe he needs to stay busy offensively, but not get complacent against Pacquiao, he needs to work with his jab at distance and he needs to work the body of Manny Pacquiao on the inside. And he absolutely can not get off to a slow start as he has in nearly every fight he has been in since the Marcos Maidana fight.  He will get stopped if he takes rounds 1-6 off. Personally, I do buy into the fact that Adrien Broner is the best version of himself that he could be, but I simply do not believe he’s good enough to beat someone of Manny Pacquiao’s caliber unless Pacquiao has gotten old overnight. In that case, Broner could potentially stop Pacquiao. But, in the most likely occasion, I see Manny Pacquiao winning a clear but competitive decision over Adrien Broner who’s chin is notoriously hard to crack. I think Broner probably give Manny some fits early and in the middle rounds, but I believe Manny Pacquiao’s excellence will shine through paving the way for a Floyd Mayweather rematch in late summer-early fall. Face it, we will all be watching that.

[blodaue]

RITE OF SPRING.

a drabble based upon the music & ballet of the same name. 

the earth is not a gentle place. though sunlight may seem gentle, the tiny waving of branches upon the breeze beckoning towards you all friendly and kind, the world is made of danger. even the drifting leaves are not all that they seem, the way they tumble from the arms of trees seeking to blind you, confuse you, throw you off of your course. but that is how nature is. nature is not your friend, neither is it your possession. mankind may seek to hold the earth within his hands, but the rivers and roots slip through, the sand rolling from the fingertips as nature rebels.

within the woodland there is plenty of danger. animals born to protect one another, beasts who thrive on the feast, prowl their territory day and night the same. rushing rivers seem black without the sun, a rushing void capable of pulling you into its watery abyss. but there is something else. something soft-seeming, something so gentle you do not even understand how dead you truly are when you clap eyes upon him. his body is a human-like vessel, but is ethereal in the moonlight. something so beautiful that the mere concept of his existence is both such a curse and a blessing.

but the curse outweighs the blessing. oh, it does every time. where once the kingdom may have bowed to the might and whimsy of a springtime deity, in their arrogance they have bred a monster. in their selfishness to obtain, to control, to understand, they have birthed unto the world a wickedness which cannot be undone. human hands rip and tear the petals far too easily from a flower, thus time and time again have the pale limbs of this divine thing been plucked. over and over, till his golden tears have soaked the woodland.

their folly.

                                                                           -----

it occurs often, the hunters calling out into the woods for the spring creature to emerge. they implore, they beg, but with evil grins and flaming torches in hand. they call out for his arrival, threatening to destroy the forest should he refuse. a god should serve the people, he decides. he emerges, ivy to cloak his back and shoulders. the woods growl as he defends them but he does what he must. his body already feels the fear of death, but not the afterlife. never the part after his demise. the process itself, really. slow and painful— the humans always make it hurt so intensely.

“ bloom for us. “

the humans this time are unforgiving with their hatred. why should a god exist so peacefully when their lives are such miserable things? why should a god own these lands if he does not work? why should a god exist at all? gerwyn snarls, they crack a tooth from his jaw and it turns to dust as it hits the grass. they hold him still only to cut jagged lines against his flesh, letting that golden blood paint their blades. they are obsessed with the colour.

and so he does as they command; from his outstretched arms gerwyn grows a series of trailing ivy curtains, flowers embedded within the design. the humans are impressed easily on most nights. they command him to grow something, he does just so, before they set him alight and bask in the screams of a dying god. but tonight it is different. they do not applaud but boo instead. they call him worthless and dull, pointless and pathetic. the old tongue is full of terrible names, the language here as rough as the land. gerwyn shudders even still. he despises the bad attention. he especially despises the promise of flames that he knows are soon to come.

“ enough of this! dance! dance little faerie. “

the men jeer, a woman spitting upon the ground beside gerwyn’s feet. he is not much of a dancer in human terms. his body moves far more loosely, limbs like graceful branches swaying within a breeze. gerwyn shakes his head and does not emit a sound instead hoping his defiance might prove entertaining enough to prompt his death for the day. but they do not like it. they toss him into the clearing and from within the shadows, the wilderness trembles.

one of the villagers reaches for a burning torch and sets the dry grass aflame. there it is. the vicious burning of the woodland. the flickering shades of red and gold, gerwyn’s heart already racing with fear. the floral organs within his chest pound unnaturally as he scrambles to get away. but the men cheer as the fire loops into a tight circle, trapping the deity within the clear centre. green eyes flicker across the scene. even within his eyes, the jade of the forest burns a cruel amber.

“ please. “

he’s not one to beg. not normally. but this fear is something so human he cannot help but cry out. he begs for the safety of the woodland. spare the animals and let the trees live. let the grass remain but burn his body to their heart’s content. but they laugh. humans are so wicked when they possess even a slither of power. afraid for so much, gerwyn dashes about the fiery cage, the rage of the flames causing him to shudder and shriek. the men continue to shout out, begging him to dance some spritely ritual for them. but gerwyn is no fae.

the dance is one of agony. as he leaps to find some way through the flames, the heat causes him to twirl almost gracefully out of harm's way. he spins madly, desperation pooling gold at the corner of his eyes. his bloody chest and arms drip sweetly as he moves, his eyes wide and wild with fear. even here, so clearly consumed by terror, he is but another pretty forest creature. and thus they treat him as such, tossing their torches into the circle to encourage more of those desperate movements.

gerwyn panics. the ground beneath him shakes as he tries to focus his power into the earth, but the land cracks and the flames scratch at his skin. he yelps, a wounded animal unable to understand the minds of his attackers. they laugh and curse him over and over, clapping for him to dance until he dies. calling out for his death, they make no mistake to announce their disgust, their hatred, for a creature they cannot understand. and all gerwyn can do is move.

eventually he grows tired and the dance dips into a lul, but he knows it will not end with a rest. he never received a gentle death. his feet are raw and dripping. his skin is blackened by the smoke and heat, his chest still pale and smooth but his elbows and hair crisp from the fire poking him relentlessly. the people have had enough. they toss more torches into the centre and cheer as gerwyn’s skin finally catches alight.

the scream tears through the forest and the animals within it lower their heads. the trees bend slightly in sadness and from the heavens does rain begins to freckle.

the dance comes to an end, the sacrifice of the spring deity bringing forth the sunshine across the horizon. although the rain grows heavier, the people rejoice at the arrival of the bright sun. having slain their kingdom’s monster, they return to their village high upon the victory of the death, as the floral corpse of the god falls to his knees and scatters against the wind as mere burnt petals and buds.