WORLD CLASS SINNER - FRANK CASTLE
six - so what now?
tags: n/a // five // seven // masterlist
Pairing: Billy x Reader , Frank x Reader
Word Count: 7,682
Summary: Limits are pushed and more secrets pile up as she continues to pretend on both sides. When they creep closer to one another, can she maintain all of her lies and save face or will she be forced to pick what relationship matters most?
You and Lieberman got Frank onto a table in the small kitchen area before you shooed him away. You stressed that if he didn’t come back with Curtis, then he didn’t need to come back at all. You dug through your own bag seven times to try and find something to help, anything that might give you an idea to fix it, but you had nothing. Instead, all you could do was track the vitals you could feel with the small batch of equipment Lieberman had pulled, which luckily included a forehead thermometer and a stethoscope.
“Do I even wanna know what you’re doing here?” Curtis asked when he got there. Suddenly, you were hyperaware of the blood splatters still on your skin from earlier but at least you had changed out of the suit.
“BP hovering around 90/60 and temperature’s 104 and climbing.” You explained instead. “He’s been on fluids and antibiotics the entire ride back but it’s not helping.”
“Does he need blood? I’m a universal donor.” Lieberman offered and you rolled your eyes.
“So am I but I don’t think the blood’s the problem. I tried to pack his wounds in the field so he wouldn’t have that as a problem.”
“No, it’s not the blood.” Curtis confirmed, opening Frank’s lids to check his pupils. “I think he’s septic. That arrow’s a foreign body and his system’s trynna fight it off. Antibiotics are fighting a losing battle.”
“Okay, so we take it out.” You agreed.
“So you’re gonna just pull it out?” Lieberman asked.
“Pulling it out’s gonna do more damage than when it went in. All this swelling and inflammation means the arrow’s crowded now. You try to pull it out, you don’t know what you’re gonna tear up in the process.” Curtis countered. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Mhmm, yeah.” Lieberman nodded.
“He doesn’t do this often.” You explained and moved to stand at the head of the table.
“Well, you’re gonna have to help me hold him still so Y/N can get it out.” Curtis explained and you rubbed your sleeves against your forehead to try and push them up.
“Right now?” Lieberman’s eyes went wide.
“Yes, now.”
The men shifted Frank to his side and you looked between the front and back, realizing the arrow didn’t fully penetrate. You made a face to yourself and gently pushed the arrow from the front, only to find tension and resistance. You came back to the other side and pressed your fingers firmly until you felt the protrusion of the arrowhead. You looked at your waist habitually for a knife but you were in your regular pants. Instead, Curtis passed you the scalpel.
Using one hand as a guide, you began to slice through Frank’s back. As the cut got bigger, the smell of blood began to permeate the small area and Lieberman looked like he would pass out.
“I swear to God if you don’t get it together.” You muttered without looking away from the task at hand.
“No, I’m good.” He sniffled from the other side of the table. “I’m good. I got this.”
“Do not lose your shit.” Curtis said firmly from your side. “Say it.”
“I won’t lose my shit.” Lieberman repeated and you laughed to yourself.
“Can you-” You began but Curtis was already reaching a hand to help move some of the muscle out of the way. He handed you a set of forceps.
“Put some pressure on the arrow.” You told Lieberman, watching for the movement on your end. “I see it.”
“Good.” Curtis said, peering over your shoulder. “Can you get it?”
You made a small noise as you tried to position the forceps. “It keeps slipping.” You grumbled and shifted your angle, trying to hook the forceps between the points of the arrowhead. “Wait, I think I- Yeah, I got it. It’s coming.”
You pulled gently and the arrow slid out the open wound. You dropped it on the plate behind you and dropped the forceps with it. You grabbed a small handful of gauze and wiped the excess stream of blood away. You looked over and repositioned Lieberman’s hands to put pressure from the front. Curtis moved you away so he could pour alcohol over the open wound before he stapled the wound shut. Lieberman backed away and made small exclamations of stress while Curtis cauterized the entry wound.
“What about you?” Curtis looked to you while Lieberman took the bottle. “You good?”
“Uh, yeah.” You nodded. “I saw most of them coming so I’m good.”
“Most of them.” He repeated with a small nod. “I’m guessing the blood across your chest was the one you didn’t.”
You hummed a small noise of question before you glanced down and realized you bled through your shirt. You closed your eyes and sighed slightly. When you opened them, you saw Curtis giving you an expectant look. He gestured for you to remove your shirt and you shook your head, to which he lifted a pair of scissors. You flipped him off quickly before carefully pulling your shirt over your head.
“Jesus, Y/N.” He sighed and changed his gloves before he came closer to examine your wound.
“Don’t tell him you got me to take my shirt off that easily.” You tried to joke, pulling a face when he pressed on the tender area.
“I don’t think Frank’s gonna care that much.” He answered with a small laugh.
“I didn’t mean him. I meant our other mutual friend that I haven’t told Frank I know…”
“You haven’t…” He looked at you with wide eyes and you shrugged innocently. “What do you think is gonna happen when he finds out?”
“Honestly?” You blew out an exaggerated sigh. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. I’m just going day to day at this point.”
“Y/N.” He groaned before placing a gauze square over the missing chunk in your shoulder. “It sounds like you’re trying to be someone different with every person you meet.”
“That’s what I was taught to do.” You shrugged your other shoulder while he taped the gauze into place. “Don’t worry about this. It’ll heal quicker than you think.”
“Do I wanna know how?” He sighed while you replaced your shirt.
“I don’t think you should.” You said honestly. “Every time someone finds out, they end up like him-” You nodded to Frank. “-or worse.”
“You say that like I wouldn’t get it.” He said simply as he turned to dress Frank’s wound.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Go ahead and look in the bag.” You gestured to your duffel while you moved to the sink to gather a wet towel to clean up some of the blood. “Seems to be the one thing people recognize.”
Curtis was quiet but you heard the shuffle of the material. You kept your eyes on your task, gently wiping away the excess blood, when you heard the heavy sigh.
“Y’know that explains a lot.” He said and you dared to look up at him. “Not everything, but a lot.”
“Explains how I keep up with him, why I can’t tell anyone how I can, and why I don’t talk about a good chunk of my life. Everyone looks at me differently afterward, like I’m suddenly not a person anymore. All they see is the blood.”
“I don’t.”
You offered a small, thankful smile. Leave it to Curtis to actually get through to you. He offered a small pat to your shoulder before turning towards Lieberman.
“Why’d you have to go after him?” Curtis asked plainly. It was a fair question, given the only real explanation you had was that the same people who came after Frank came after him - allegedly - for distributing the video of Ahmed Zubair.
Really, when you sat back and thought about it, Lieberman brought his so-called death on himself. You and Frank owed him nothing. You two had no reason to help him get back to his family. But if Lieberman was right and Agent Orange tried to orchestrate both of their murders, then Agent Orange killed Frank’s family. And that was the answer you were willing to chase down. Not for Lieberman, you hardly knew or cared for the man. Not for Sarah and her kids, mourning their dad who was mere miles away. But for Lisa Castle, Maria Castle, and Frank Castle Jr. For the family stripped away from one of your closest friends due to no fault of their own. For the innocent kids gunned down in Central Park. Kids you didn’t even know…
You didn’t know Frank’s family…
Why did their closure matter to you?
Then a new possibility hit you.
Closure.
You couldn’t get closure for Matt’s death so you wanted to help Frank get closure for his family. After everything, maybe you owed him that much.
The tension in the room had grown exponentially by the time you focused back on the conversation. The men seemingly had nothing left to say to each so Curtis offered you a small smile and nod before he left.
“You um.. You need anything?” Lieberman asked awkwardly, now just you and him in the small kitchen.
“Help me move him?” You asked simply. “I was planning on staying with him, at least for a little while.”
“Sure, yeah.” He nodded before managing to help you get Frank to the cot in the next room.
Lieberman brought you a chair first, then a sleeping bag and pillow. He apologized for the lack of comfort but you shrugged it off. For a while after he left, you sat in the chair holding Frank’s hand. The sound of the IV drip was all the noise in the room and it dripped steadily, like a metronome for your thoughts.
“Lieberman?” You called out after some silence. There was no verbal answer, just the sound of the desk chair’s wheels skirting across the floor. “We promised Gunner that we’d bury him… Think you can help us out?”
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.” He answered.
“Thanks, ‘ppreciate it.”
He went back to his typing and you leaned your forehead against your forearm, your free hand thumbing across your screen to flip through your phone. Your mind was finally slowing and you felt everything from the past few hours settling in. You seemed to finally realize Gunner had died in those woods. Whoever went after him had to have gone because you and Frank were going, but that conversation never left that hideout. You thought about that team a bit more.
You had assumed it was an Anvil team since Billy offered you the lead, but given their performance, that didn’t make sense. Billy may not have a completely elite roster at his company but they would’ve been smarter than those men were. But Billy knew, which could’ve meant that whoever sent that team told him. Either because of his relation to Gunner, having served together as well, or due to his relation to you. The first seemed more likely, given the assumption that whoever the alleged friend was was going to be Agent Orange, and that man would’ve known nothing about you or Exodus.
You were yanked from your thoughts when Frank shot up on the cot suddenly. You jolted upright and tried to calm him, but the words seemed to go in one ear and out the other. His eyes were wide but not seeing, muttering about him still being out there and that he had to go back.
“You’re alright, Frankie, okay? It’s just me.” You put your hands on either side of his face and turned him to look at you, the contact sending a shock to your palms. You shuddered at the sensation but gave no other indication of anything and after a few seconds, Frank’s eyes focused and he realized where he was.
“We’ve gotta go back.” He said quietly and you sighed softly.
“It’s okay.” Lieberman said from the small doorway and you leaned back in your seat when the tension in Frank began to melt away. “She took care of it.” He nodded towards you.
Your head turned quickly and you shot him a quizzical expression. Lieberman gave you a quick nod and waved his hand, signaling for you to not say anything. Your brows furrowed and you slowly turned back, though your eyes lingered on him for a bit longer. When you finally looked back to Frank, his expression was soft with appreciation. You offered a gentle smile and he laid back down, adjusting on the stiff material before closing his eyes again.
You gave it a few minutes before you got up and went out to where Lieberman was still typing and his eyes darted across the monitors.
“Why’d you lie to him?” You asked simply, though you made sure to keep your voice low.
“Didn’t.” He answered plainly. “You handled it.”
“No, I told you to handle it.”
“What difference does it make? He knows you. He trusts you. I tell him you took care of it, he’s gonna trust it more than if I said I did… Besides, if it was that big a deal, why didn’t you tell him?”
You sighed slightly and turned away, knowing he was partially right. You could’ve told Frank the truth, too. But with the state he was in, maybe it was easier to let the little white lie go. You were going to head back to the room when you saw the light reflecting off the blue lenses of the mask in your bag.
“Hey.” You began and looked over your shoulder. “The body cams they were wearing. Is there any way you could find out where they were streaming to?”
“If I had one of them, sure.” He shrugged. “Why? You have a lead?”
“Maybe. What if I had something that could mimic the signal?”
“Mimic? I don’t know, I’ve never tried that.”
You hurried to grab your mask and held it to your eyes, tapping the side to try and find the signal it captured earlier. Your mask had been able to get a vague direction, but it was too far for even your technology to do anything. You gestured between Lieberman’s computer and your mask and he allowed for it to be detected by bluetooth devices. You found the connection and transferred the data from your mask before sliding it into your pocket.
“This is…” He breathed out as his skimmed the newly shared information. “Wow. This is a good start, yeah. I mean I probably can’t get an exact location but I can get within a few mile radius, hopefully.”
“Great.” You nodded. “Work on that but don’t tell him when he wakes up. If this is what I think, it might do more harm than good.”
“Why?”
“Need to know basis, Lieberman.” You shrugged. “I’m actually gonna head out. He’s stable and now that he’s woken up, I’m pretty sure he’ll be fine in a day or two.”
“Yeah, okay.. If he asks, when should I tell him you’ll be back?”
“I’m pretty sure there’s a leak somewhere. I’ve gotta see what I can find. Could be a couple days, could be sooner. But call me if something comes up on your end.”
He nodded quietly and you grabbed your things before you headed home. When you got into your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and pants almost immediately. You threw your bag behind the locked doors and threw on a loose shirt and sweats to sleep in. Once you hit the bed, you fell asleep almost instantly as.
—-------------------------
You drew your staff and stuck it out in front of Matt, causing Nobu’s weapon to clatter against it. He switched grips and slammed his elbow into your nose which made you stagger back. When he turned to slam the weapon into your stomach, you saw Elektra coming closer from the corner of your eye. She moved to step in front of your but you reacted quickly.
You grabbed the back of her collar and hooked a foot around her leg. You yanked her back quickly and threw her to the floor, just before the weapon pierced your abdomen.
A small whine left your mouth before you fired a sharp jolt from your Bites. As the electricity hit its mark, your knees gave out and you landed in Matt’s arms. His hands were as careful as ever to avoid the weapon still lodged in your side as he lowered you to the ground.
“You’re okay.” He said in a quiet panic. “You’re okay, I got you. I got you, you’re gonna be- Gonna be okay.”
“Matt..” You said quietly, but the simple syllable came out as a gurgled sound. “You should know…”
The night hadn’t been cold just minutes before. But as you laid on the rooftop, uneven breaths shaking your chest, you felt the cold creeping across your body. It started at the point where the weapon protruded and radiated out, soaking up every degree of warmth your body had. It was an illusion, your body’s way of telling you something was wrong. Realistically, your body wouldn’t go cold for a few hours, but in your head you were turning to ice at that moment.
“You can tell me later, okay? Stay with me.”
You reached for one of his hands and pushed your mask up. His fingers were shaky as he traced your features and you watched the tears gather in his eyes. His mouth opened and closed, trying to give shape to the words tumbling around his brain but unable to do it. He couldn’t say anything as you were dying in his arms and he recognized who you were.
“Y/N?” He said, hardly above a whisper. “Please.”
“I love you, Matty.” You managed before roughly coughing blood down your suit front.
“Don’t leave me.” He breathed and shook his head quickly. His arms pulling you closer. “You can’t. I- I need you.”
“You’re safe now.” You tried but there was no sound in your throat.
There was no air in your lungs.
There was no life in your eyes.
Rightfully so, you were dead.
————————————
The sharp bangs on your door woke you quickly. You pushed yourself up, noting a faint red line across your sheets. Glancing at your chest, you saw the red line seeping through your shirt and you groaned when you realized you had slept the later portion of your night away face down. You tried adjusting the shirt but the material was stuck to the scab beneath so it only tugged the skin. You gently rubbed at the line on your shirt with one hand and ran the other down your face as you shuffled across your apartment to answer the repeated banging.
You opened the door without checking and turned away quickly, looking down at your shirt and gently pulling at it again. You winced slightly and headed into the bathroom, hardly registering Billy’s voice in your living room.
You turned on your tap and wet your palm before pressing the water against the cut. You watched from the mirror as you dampened the material, in turn softening the scab beneath it. You sucked in a sharp breath between gritted teeth as you were able to peel the fabric off the injury, which allowed you to rid yourself of the bloodied shirt.
You stared at the newly exposed cut in the mirror, an angry red and irritated length of exposed muscle bubbling with droplets of fresh blood mingling with crusted patches of scab. You pursed your lips in a slight pout before gingerly prodding at the surrounding redness. There was no pain in the palpating so you took that as a good sign. You shrugged slightly before heading back into your living room, only to be met by Billy staring at you expectantly.
“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” You confessed. “Start over?”
“What the hell is that?” He asked instead, gesturing to your chest. “What’d you do this time, Y/N/N?”
“Some guy tried to get tough, I fought back, he pulled out a blade. I’m fine. What has you riled up?”
“Agent Madani.” He answered with a sigh. You gestured to the couch and he took a seat while you went back into your bedroom for a shirt.
“Little early for that, don’t you think?” You called out as you grabbed the first shirt out of the drawer, which seemed to be Matt’s. Again.
“Unless…” You popped your head out instead of thinking too much on the shirt. “You woke up with her, didn’t you?”
“Jealous?” He quirked a brow and you pulled a face before ducking behind your door again. “Anyways. You know she has a file on Frankie? And I can’t help but think she’s been using me to fill in the gaps, y’know?”
Frankie.
You paused for a moment when you realized you picked that up from Billy. And you said it out loud to Frank when he woke up in a panic. If he was lucid, he probably would’ve connected the dots. You forced yourself to shake the thought quickly and padded back into the living room to sit beside Billy on the couch.
“Yeah, I figured there was a file. She called me in to talk about how I knew him and the court case.” You explained as you folded your legs under you. “I didn’t tell her much.”
“She asked me about you, too.” He offered a small smirk. “I didn’t tell her much either.”
“Hmm. Makes me one of your better kept secrets then… What’d she say?”
“She asked about your past, where you came from and what you know how to do. I told her you could clear a battlefield on your own without breaking a sweat but the hell if I knew where you learned it.”
“I could’ve told her that.”
“Well she also said you seemed like a maneater.”
“A maneater?” Your eyes went wide. “I’ve never been called that before.”
“Really?” His brows raised teasingly.
“Not that I know of. And here I thought we really hit it off.” You pouted, which made Billy laugh. “Unless she just wanted to keep you all to herself. If that’s the case, I don’t blame her.”
“You want me for yourself too?” He kept the teasing tone and you shook your head with a small smile of your own. “Just gotta say it, y’know.”
You sighed loudly and patted his chest before you got back to your feet. He groaned slightly and dropped his head as you wandered to your kitchen.
“Hey, maybe she’s into you.” He called out and you snorted a laugh.
“Yeah, cause that’s how you talk about someone you wanna sleep with, huh?”
“Why didn’t you tell me Dinah called you in?” Billy asked and you glanced over to see him still looking at you with his head hanging over the back of the couch.
“I figured it would go away on it’s own.” You shrugged. “Most things regarding Frank Castle do. Why did you tell me what Dinah said about me?”
“Figured you deserved to know.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“I know.”
“Why’d you come to me about this whole thing anyway?”
“I…” He trailed off and shifted to face you. “You were the first person I thought of.”
You smiled slightly and suddenly the crater in your heart didn’t feel so deep.
The rest of your day was relatively normal. You felt your chest wound mending itself as the hours passed and you found yourself constantly checking your phone for a message from Frank or Lieberman. But there never was one. Billy didn’t stay long, blaming some investor meeting. You even tried checking in with Dex, but there was still deliberation on your official office given your training scores caught every SAC’s attention.
You made time to go to Curtis’ meeting, which you regretted by the end of it. The same man, O’Connor, was ranting about how weak recent veterans were.
“How real Americans are put at the back of every goddamn line!” He shouted and you made a noise of complaint. “Life’s tough, Princess. Learn your place and get over it.”
He spat the name sarcastically and it reignited an old fury within you. It was similar - but not quite the same - as when Fisk would refer to Exodus as his friend. Your hands made tight fists that were hidden since you had your arms folded. Your jaw clenched and your brows raised in a quiet challenge.
“Real Americans.” You repeated with a slow nod.
“Y/N.” Curtis tried but you ignored him.
“See, I know my place.” You continued, shifting your legs so you could lean forward. Coincidentally, the movement made O’Connor lean back. “I’m your perfect, all-american bitch. And I’m grateful -so grateful - all the time, for men like you. For men who think they have a say in anyone else’s business.”
“There you go, with that feminist bullshit.” The man scoffed. “You wanna go print pamphlets and sing the Beatles? Huh? Tough shit, Princess. Words aren’t gonna win this fight.”
“Call me princess one more time and I’ll give you a goddamn fight you won’t win.” You warned firmly, but before anything else could be said, Curtis stepped in.
You weren’t even completely sure why you were angry. Maybe it was what the man was saying, maybe it was something else. Maybe it was everything. All you knew was that you were wearing yourself dangerously thin and you would break at any minute. You were too hollow, too breakable to keep going the way you were.
“You go through all this shit just to get patched up and so it all over again.” Curtis said with a slight edge in his voice. You didn’t need to look up to know he was looking at you, only a glance but you knew it was a pointed one.
You knew he was thinking of Frank. So were you. Maybe he was even talking about you.
Either way, you just had to keep going until you became like Curtis’ goat. Until you died from just too much.
The next morning, Billy was outside your building when you were on your way out. Initially, you were going to try and get in with Dinah to talk about Kentucky and what she knew of Gunner Henderson but he caught you before you had a chance. Conversation was casual as he drove you to a more secluded portion of a shipyard. There was a certain uneasiness from him that you couldn’t quite place but it stemmed from you, from what you may or may not know about Frank. And admittedly, you liked it. It made it easier to keep him from getting too close. Ensuring he couldn’t fully trust you meant he could never be with you because there would always be that uncertainty. The sideways glance at something you said, the hesitation due to something you brushed off.
Billy came around and opened your door, his hand landing on your lower back to guide you towards the secondary car. As you drew closer, you saw none other than Dinah Madani standing in front of you. She glanced between you and Billy and there a hint of green around her, which made you smile slightly.
“Hello, Dinah.” You said kindly, leaning into Billy for show. “Nice to see you.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Y/N.” She nodded to you before looking at Billy. “Thank you for coming.”
“Great place for a romantic apology. Or mob hit, whichever.” Billy shrugged, though there was humor in his tone despite his annoyance.
Clearly, he was still bothered by Dinah’s confidentiality regarding her Kandahar and Castle investigation. You tuned out Billy’s short rant but came back into focus when you heard Dinah’s demand dressed as a request, as a favor.
“I want you to tell me about Frank Castle, both of you.” She said curtly, looking between you two. Despite the firmness of her tone, you felt her waver.
“You first.” You spoke simply, chin tilting up slightly as you stepped away from Billy. “Tell me what you know.”
“Castle’s alive.”
“Says who?”
“You didn’t know?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Maybe you did, maybe not. I’m telling you that I know it.”
“How?”
“You think I’m lying?”
“No, I don’t think you are.” Billy spoke but Dinah’s eyes didn’t leave yours, alowing you to see the challenge within them.
“You didn’t know?” She asked again but Billy only answered with silence. “You strike me as a pair that would’ve protected him even if you did.”
“That’s the beauty of lawyer-client privilege.” You taunted with a small smirk. “Without a warrant, I’m no use to you.”
“You and I both know I can get one.” She returned your challenge.
“On what grounds?” You nearly laughed. “You go pulling skeletons out of closest, someone’s bound to have a probem with it.”
“Someone like you?”
You simply lifted a brow with a small head tilt, only egging her frustration on.
“Why are you telling us this now?” Billy asked from behind you and you wondered why he hadn’t tried to move you back.
“I need to bring Castle in.” Dinah continued and you had to refrain from rolling your eyes. “If you already knew where he was, I was going to ask for your help. As it is, if there’s anyone who can find him, it’s probably one of you. Can you?”
“Can I, yes. Should I, well… You tell me.”
“Why should we?” Billy asked and there was a controlled anger from within him. Not directed at you or Dinah. Not at Frank for his secret survival. But at something beyond his control, something that was coming.
“I think he knows everything about my Kandahar case.” She explained and at that, you couldn’t contain the scoff.
“You’re still on that?” You laughed mockingly and her own anger spiked for a moment, like a flash in a pan before retreating.
“How does that help him?” Billy urged.
“It doesn’t.” You said flatly, earning another glare from Dinah that made you smile. “You’re so easy.” You taunted with a condescending smile. “It’s adorable.”
“Because I think he went after it himself.” Dinah spoke through you to Billy. “And somebody left him half dead on a mountain. I think he’s hurt and he needs help. The people he’s up against… He’s gonna get himself killed, Billy.”
“What do you know about these people?” You asked, sidestepping to block her path when she tried to move around you. “Frank’s just intel for you. You’ve already admitted it. Even if we find him, you’re gonna need to offer one hell of a deal to get us to hand him over.”
“Find him and I will.”
“Should’ve gotten that on record.” You mumbled and turned to the side, allowing her clearance to go to Billy.
“I’ll shake the tree and see what falls out.” Billy agreed and motioned for you to head to the car first.
You hummed in agreement and turned, giving one more look to Dinah. She didn’t like you and you didn’t like her, which you were fine with. You didn’t need more friends. You didn’t need more people to look out for. So let the conversations be tense. Let them be filled with undertones and condescension and disdain. Let there be rage and distrust and a lack of pleasantries.
“So what now?” You asked Billy as he opened the door for you.
“Got a few options.” He said with a small shrug. “You got any ideas?”
“Boat explosion was last news I heard.” You answered, which technically was true. There was no news stories on Frank Castle since.
“I’m gonna try something and we’ll see what happens, I guess.”
“You sure we should? What if she just tried to send him to prison after she gets what she wants?”
“He’s gonna need a pretty good lawyer then, huh? I think I know a lady.”
You clicked your tongue in fake disappointment before smiling slightly. “I don’t know, I heard her retainer fee is pretty steep. And her hourly’s up there with the best of them.”
He laughed slightly and pushed down on your head so you would drop into your seat.
You went back to Liebernan’s that afternoon. Being in your apartment still felt strange from the dream you had the night before. Lieberman didn’t bring up the signal and neither did you. Instead, you cleaned and dressed Frank’s side, chatting about nothing when you heard it.
In your head first, so you thought you hallucinated it, but then Frank acknowledged it.
It was Billy’s voice, calling out to someone.
“Blackbird to Raven, come in. Raven! Blackbird, come in!”
“What the..” You trailed off, shutting down your implant and still hearing it. “Is that a recording?”
“I’ve been monitoring radio chatter.” Lieberman explained as he toyed with the dials. “Just in case I hear something about us or one of our targets. Mostly it’s just been random shit, you know, dead air.”
“You know what this is?” You looked to Frank.
“Yeah. I’m Raven.”
You out there, Frankie?
“I figured that much but why is Billy Russo calling for you?” You asked, pointing firmly to the radio to punctuate your faux ignorance.
“Who’s Billy Russo?” Lieberman asked while Frank challenged you with “How the hell do you know Russo?”
“Does he know you’re alive?” Lieberman came around you to stand in front of Frank.
“No, I don’t think so.” Frank answered.
“See, that sounds to me like he does.” He said instantly, pointing at the radio before turning to you.
“I haven’t said anything but all the interest in you as of late may be allowing speculation.” You explained. “He knows about Madani’s file on you and Kandahar so maybe she’s convinced him to try.”
“Yeah and you-“ Frank groaned as he tried to get to his feet, but decided against it. “-didn’t answer my question, Princess.”
“I don’t have to.”
“Frank, Y/-“ Lieberman began to say your name but the glare you shot his way made him backtrack. “Exodus. Do we need to worry about this?”
“I can handle Billy.” You waved him off as Frank argued “He’s my friend.”
“What kind of friend?”
“The life or death kind.”
“That’s all I get?” Lieberman scoffed. “C’mon, Frank. This is a serious development here, alright? Some guy - I never heard of him - all of a sudden he’s broadcasting your name all over the radio.”
“What did I just say to you?” Frank said firmly and you quirked a brow as the tension rose.
“Why do you think he’s calling?” You tapped Frank's shoulder to gauge his response to the situation.
“I dunno.” Frank shrugged. He longed for that familiarity, for the comfort of that close knit relationship, but he was also keeping himself from acknowledging it. Because acknowledging that desire made it real, made it dangerous. It gave power to those feelings and that was a risk no one could take.
“Okay.” You nodded slightly. “I’ll see what I can find.”
“Jesus Christ, Y/N/N… Please tell me Russo isn’t one of your boyfriends.” Frank sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes.
“He’s not.” You shrugged. “Neither of them are. We worked together for a little while.”
“Neither, wow.” Lieberman muttered as he walked away.
You had half a mind to start an argument with the hermit but decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead, you pulled your phone out and tried to dial Billy. You had to wander around the compound to find somewhere with decent service, but ultimately decided to take the call outside.
“Morning chat and a phone call? Sounds like someone wants me after all.” Billy joked when he answered.
“Real funny, Blackbird.” You rolled your eyes. “What are you doing, Billy?”
“You heard..”
“You’re feeding a loop on every open radio channel. Of course I heard you putting his name out there. That was your great idea?”
“Everything with Dinah, it just got me thinking, yknow… He’s out there somewhere.”
“He’s not. He can’t be. The boat explosion was massive. There’s no way he survived. I don’t know what she’s on about but-“
“They never found his body, Y/N. I just- Alright, look, you’re probably gonna be pissed at this one but what if there was even a chance your Matt was still alive? I mean, wouldn’t you wanna find him?”
“No.” You said flatly and the word was bitter in your mouth. You had to give up that thought quickly because while it was the same in the sense that his body was never recovered, you knew that not even you would’ve been able to cheat that death, let alone Matt. “Because if he was alive and he hadn’t come to see me, then he didn’t just didn’t want to.”
“You think I should cut it?”
“I think you need to be careful. If the people he’s up against are as bad as Dinah says they are, we’re all gonna be in dee shit before we know it.” You warned, though the tone you used made it sound like genuine concern. “Someone else may just hear this and think the Punisher is on his way back, which brings problems to your doorstep, in turn bringing them to my doorstep.”
“What would you say to him? If we manage to find him.”
“Billy..”
“C’mon, just humor me.”
You sighed slightly, but took a minute to formulate a response nonetheless.
“I’d ask what was worth throwing away the case.” You said honestly. If memory served, that was what you had first asked. “I’d ask if he got the bastard that took his family. I’d ask where he’s been. And I’d probably knock him on his ass for tanking my career… It’s a dangerous game you’re playing here, Bill. We don’t know every player in the game yet.”
“Yeah, I know.” He said carefully and you knew calling him Bill sparked something in his head. “Sounds like you’re worried about me.”
“I’m allowed to do that every so often.”
“I like it.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
You chuckled slightly before ending the call and making your way back inside. As far as you could tell, Billy was running solely on Dinah’s information. But in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder if Orange had gotten to him , given that you didn’t feel any surprise from him when Dinah spoke. Only annoyance, maybe at the fact that she knew before he did or because of something with Orange.
You wanted to warn Frank to take Billy’s outreach with a grain of salt, but how do you convince someone that their best friend may be setting them up? You decided to keep it yourself for the time being but remain vigilant in the meantime. The second you had proof that Billy was connected to Agent Orange - willingly connected or not - you would bring it to Frank, whether he wanted to see it or not.
When you got back to the guys, they were talking about Thanksgiving. Lieberman offered to make one of the frozen meals from his stockpile but you refused it, saying you’d pick something up on your way home.
“What about you, hmm?” Lieberman gestured to you with his fork and your brows raised in question. “What were your Thanksgivings like?”
“I never had a real one.” You shrugged, though the admission stung your heart a bit. “I do remember when I was a kid, we took these pictures. It was me, my cousins Nat and Yel, my aunt Mel and Uncle Alex. There was one of me and Nat putting mashed potatoes on Yel’s cheeks and one where me and my aunt were breaking the wishbone… I wished for a real family, to protect me and care for me.”
You found yourself smiling at the memory, despite the fact that it was all for show and you had done a Christmas, Easter, and birthday photoshoot that same day.
“It wasn’t real, obviously.” You continued to ensure that the quaint reminiscing was cut short before the tears could embarrass you. “And I never really stayed anywhere with anyone long enough so that’s the best I got.”
“Well, uh, you can be a part of ours.” Lieberman gestured to the countertop before holding out a lazily closed fist.
“Thanks.” You nodded and gave him the fist bump he was waiting for.
“So uh..” He began before an awkward sniffle to buy time. “What do you know about this Russo guy?”
You blew out a long sigh, though you were thankful for the conversation shift.
“He’s a private military contractor.” You began simply, knowing there were both worse and better ways to describe Billy, but neither would’ve been what Lieberman wanted to hear. “Company called Anvil… He’s relatively well-connected. I think some of his contracts go overseas, too.”
“So my impression is that he’s not a man that’s gonna reach out to him-“ He gestured to Frank. “-unless he knows that he’s alive.”
“He doesn’t know.” You insisted on your earlier lie. “Suspect it, sure. I mean who wouldn’t when the body was never recovered, but he doesn’t know.”
“You’re not gonna call him?” Lieberman asked Frank, who finally looked up from his microwaved meal.
“We’re Marines.” He shrugged and you chuckled to yourself. “We can handle disappointment.”
“Maybe someone else knows you’re alive and they’re using Billy to-“ Lieberman had turned to you and you knew it was about the signal. He had found a source, and it wasn’t a good one.
“There’s something you need to understand, okay?” Frank cut in firmly. There was no edge or venom in his tone but there was no room for debate either. “I had two families, all right? I had Maria, I had my kids, and I had my unit. I was a father and I was a husband, but I was also a Marine. And I loved being a Marine. I loved that shit. There were times where I would’ve rather been neck deep in bullets and blood than be with my own kids. And that’s something I gotta make peace with, alright?”
“Yeah, you’re not the only one.” You muttered to yourself and were relieved there was a way to put words to the lurking feeling in your mind. “Some of us are wired differently. What’d you tell Red on that rooftop, that we don’t pick what fixes us?”
He looked at you for a moment with an expression that showed not only did he understand that idea, but also that he knew how much you missed him.
“Billy and I did eight years. He’s got my back, I got his.”
“It’s a hell of a coincidence. Don’t you think?”
“Billy Russo is my family, same as her.” He nodded to you.
“As your friend, I want to say Billy reaching out isn’t a problem.” You said carefully, keeping your eyes on the countertop while you spoke to ensure that any eye contact couldn’t derail your thoughts. “But I know Billy, too. Differently than you, but I do. If Orange knows, then he could’ve reached out to Billy and be fueling his speculation.”
“You think Bill’s the kinda guy to let someone else tell him what to do?”
“I think Agent Orange is the kind of man to ensure leverage and manipulate people to think his idea was theirs.” You corrected and faced your friend. “All I’m saying is take this with a grain of salt, alright?”
“You don’t trust him?”
“Not enough.” You said truthfully and the response was almost automatic. You made a face to yourself but kept focus. “This whole situation is getting more convoluted each day, Frank. Everyone involved is connected to each other. Him-“ You gestured to Lieberman. “-you, Page, me, Madani, Billy, Curtis, Gunner, Orange. With this twisted fucking web we’re wrapped in, Billy and Orange are bound to overlap at some point. If it’s now, before he knows anything, I might be able to get close enough for a real name or a location or motives. Something that can help end this.”
Frank scoffed and took his plastic tray of food to another room. You made a face behind his back as he left, despite your button pushing being purposeful to get him to leave. When he was definitely out of earshot, you turned to Lieberman.
“You got something, didn’t you?” You asked quietly.
“Nothing exact but close enough.” He answered in the same hushed tone.
“Government?”
“Langley.”
“CIA.” Your brows went up in interest. “Any name on the device?”
“No, if I touched those firewalls, they would’ve had everything.” He shook his head. “But I did figure out it was probably a personal device. It’s gotta be Orange, right?”
“Mhmm… And that makes everything else more suspicious.” You nodded before you clapped your hands together and took a few steps back.
“Okay.” You announced loudly for Frank to hear. “There’s a leak somewhere. I’m gonna find it and plug it. Whoever has something new, find the other.”
You went home that night and collapsed from exhaustion. You hadn’t even done much that day but the mental power it took to ignore the deep rumbles that reverberated with every step, the haunting screens that echoed in every voice, the wet feeling of blood across your clean hands, the sick knots in your stomach while in your apartment. To remain heartless, to remain in the headspace of a Widow, it was harder than you thought. It had been easy before, more natural and subconscious. Now, you had to remind yourself every morning, every time your mind wandered, you had to yank your humanity back into the shadows. Push her into that chasm and step on the fingers she used to cling to the ledge.
But somehow, some godforsaken way, she hung on and clawed her way to the forefront of your thoughts whenever she could.
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