Adam Relationship Headcannons
SFW
You two met after the whole Lilith and Eve debacle
You were sent to be his Guardian Angel down in the Garden of Eden. Honestly, he couldn’t care less about Eve when he first saw you
He was in the middle of the garden, talking to Eve and then you show up… man’s whipped. Simp I tell you
(Actually wished that you were made to be his wife instead of the baddie Lilith or the goodie-two-shoes Eve)
Again. Whipped.
Now, tho is guy… whewww. He may seem incredibly misogynistic to practically everyone around him. But he can be a total sweetheart
He would—if you didn’t know how to already—teach you how to shred on the guitar
Speaking of guitars, that gold strat that he had during the battle in the last episode is only used during a special occasion (case and point, when you two have a date night or after sex)
He also serenades you every chance he gets
After dinner
After a meeting
After sex
After just walking the goddamn promenade
I also think he would be heavenly (ha! See what i did there? No? Okay…) in the kitchen. Especially for date night. Adam knows how to make the best prime rib in heaven
(Lute totally hasn’t tried to blackmail the recipe out of him)
Adam is also very insecure about how he looks under his mask
Especially after having two wives ditch him for Lucifer
He definitely needs to be praised on a daily basis, even if it seems like he’s an egotistical asshole
Every day you tell him how handsome he is and he doesn’t believe you (c’mon have you seen him fuckin’ hot)
You two sometimes don’t see each other days on end because you both work so much. You being a high-ranking Angel/seraphim and him being well… the first man on Earth
If you guys go especially long for not seeing each other, you guys hole up a few days in your shared home spending time with each other among other things…
By the way, you and Lute are best friends, probably more than her and Adam
Like, seriously, if you’re not with him, you’re with her. Gossiping or fucking around, it’s heaven, there’s infinite things to do
You two are also very lovey dovey with each other
One time Sera had cover Emily’s eyes with her wings because you two were making out and feeling each other up in the middle of the Heavenly Court Room
Despite all of his faults, he’s a good husband to you, a great one actually. And if you two were to ever have kids, he’d definitely be the dad who everyone loves
He would introduce them to rock, punk, metal.
Definitely plays his guitar to get them to sleep every night
NSFW
Okay… he want lying about being the Dick Master. He can pleasure women, that is not a problem for him
Also, it might not seem like it, but he loves going down on you. Probably one of his favorite pass times actually
I swear, this man could make you scream his name within minutes. No joke
Don’t get me wrong, he loves receiving head
But just not as much as he loves eating pussy (Lilith and Eve missed out on that one for sure)
He also has a bigger dick than average
Probably 6-7.5 inches in length and hella girthy. Uncircumcised (duh), and a vein that runs up the bottom of it
Definitely knows how to use it
Every one within a five mile radius of your guys’ house… let’s just say I feel really bad for them
No joke, he is insane about pleasuring you
This probably also feeds into his insecurity about you leaving him (you won’t)
He for sure has a praise kink. Seriously, tell him he’s a good boy and he’s unraveling under your touch instantly
His favorite position is cowgirl (what can he say, he loves powerful women)
But he’s down for whatever position you want; missionary, warrior, against a wall, whatever
Speaking of wall sex, Lute has definitely caught you two more than once
The first time she did was when you two were in Adam’s office while he was supposed to be planning the next extermination. She came to ask him a question about it and there you two were. Goin’ at it like rabbits on the wall next to his desk
She couldn’t look you guys in the eye for three weeks. It was terrible
Adam also doesn’t seem like the type of guy to have sex toys or feel the need to use them
But, again, he’s whipped. So he’s willing to do whatever you want to do
Wont admit this to anyone but you, but he likes to sub every once in a while. Especially with all the ‘first man’ stuff weighing down on him he needs a way to get away from all that stress
Despite him making crude jokes about sex, he’s a very giving partner in bed
He had to make sure you cum at least twice before he gets his dick wet
Also, have I mentioned how good he is at eating pussy? Oh, I have? Yeah, well, he is (especially with that tiny bit of stubble on his chin… gahhh)
Just needed to get it out there
All in all, Adam is a very giving person in bed, can be selfish at times but will make up for it. He loves you too much for you to feel mad or upset (especially with him)
A/N: this was my first time writing for Adam and Hazbin in general. I hope you liked it. I love you all💚💜
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