#seriously ask to tag if i need to bc i know theres things but idk for sure what to tag eep

[ursamajori]

hi friend idk if you particularly super mind about these things but the op of the “survived the barbenheimer” post is very very transphobic. just to let you know

hi! i do very much mind abt these things--i primarily use mobile, and my way of being aware of blogs like that is just. filtering a bunch of tags they use so when its a random meme i usually have. no idea lol. so thanks for letting me know

idk the best way to like. word this? but in the future when yall warn me about these kind of people (which i very much do appreciate) could you give more...idk i dont wanna say proof bc it sounds dismissive, i guess elaboration? like if its i dunno tumblr user "i-hate-trans-people" and i just somehow fuckin missed that (not this exact thing but smth similar has happened before. sometimes i am not very perceptive.) like. obv u dont need to but i know people will send these kinds of asks abt people they have drama with and i dont always have time to yknow. go and find the post and check the blog

normally i dont post asks like this but i figured it would be a good sorta. way to ask this bc ive never brought it up to yall and it would be unfair to expect smth without saying anything

i wanna be clear abt as well this isnt like. trying to single you out anon and i tend to ask this of people who send similar asks off anon privately as well theres just no way to do that with you since yknow. anon. but seriously, thank you for letting me know!

edit: someone pointed out how this person it’s VERY obvious once you click on the blog from the posts, i should have specified that since it. makes it more clear this was a general statement </3

[tibli]

Did you even bother to ask Eden if they even KNEW these minors were following them? Instead of getting clarification, you just assumed that they were okay with minors following them. Why didn't you message them first asking if they knew instead of asserting a harmful hot-trigger narrative? Why do you people feel the need to come out of the woodworks to attack an artist over their AU? If you don't like it, blacklist the tag or block them entirely. BTW, they have ALREADY removed their art from the main tag on tumblr and they can't help who interacts with their content on twitter. Hell, the minors could've seen another artist's rendition and it worked down the chain that way. There are so many possibilities that could've resulted in this (from not knowing that they were following them to the minors getting wind of the AU from other artists who DO allow minors to follow them) and you elected to ignore them all for a baseless assumption. For that reason, fuck you and your "call out" post. Filter out the tags and try to gain information about the situation before making a call out post public. Curate your own personal experience and quit being a dirty fandom cop.

i wasnt gonna answer this bc its dumb as hell, but id like to clarify here that i wasnt taking issue with minors following them. i was taking issue with them reblogging and retweeting things from minors. there is a BIG difference. one of those is an intentional action on eden's part, which is what im talking about

and ive been looking into the situation quite a bit, actually- ive looked through their blog and their sfw and nsfw twitters myself- i just didnt have screenshots of what i found before they privated their twitter accounts. i didnt just jump ass first into this situation like you seem to think i did- ive been following it since the beginning, but didnt take action initially because i was giving them the benefit of the doubt.

anyway idk if you expect me to take this seriously or what bc this feels like it was written by a twelve year old. ooooh im the big bad fandom cop you can tell thats a big deal because the text is in red ooooooohhh

anyway, hypno doesnt even really bother me so theres no need for me to blacklist it. my issue is with the whole 'reblogging art from minors when your au is a fetish' thing. im not calling them a groomer or anything like that, but their behavior can lead to people getting groomed by others, which is my primary issue here.

[robitherat]

i said as much in an end note for a chapter in "tell me what you see," but i once admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital after a major depressive episode and stayed there for several days (this was years ago and i'm fine now). there was a separate children's wing at the hospital for inpatient and outpatient kids. we never saw the kids, but one day, in the little courtyard where we'd get to take breaks and do outdoor activities, a saw the words "i don't trust anybody" written in chalk on the sidewalk in a child's scrawl. that has always stayed with me and probably always will. it haunts me; it broke my heart.

and then after watching "marble hornets" and hearing about tim's time in the hospital and reading the forms more carefully and figuring out just how young he was when admitted, that "i don't trust anybody" in chalk came back to me. and i'm just like, "tim 100% would write that on the sidewalk at his hospital."

God honestly reading that part in your fic broke me, then reading that is was based on real events broke me all over again. I've thankfully never had an experience in a psych hospital (came close in 8th grade a couple times, but, yknow, 8th grade) but ive got some friends who have, and honestly I can't even begin to imagine the kinds of things those kids must face. I mean, hearing the stories about it is heart wrenching enough, but then you get things like that chalk message and it's like. Fuck. These are real kids. There are real kids out here that feel like they have no one and it fucking breaks me.

This is obviously a bit off topic from mh, but shit man. Just from an outsiders' perspective, and as someone who's dealt with severe mental illness and episodes and similar shit to an admittedly lesser degree, the fact that Troy, Joseph, and Tim were able to so accurately portray those types of issues without even necessarily meaning to when so many other storytellers fall short when thats what they set out to do is just. It's phenomenal to me. I mean obviously I can't speak for everyone and I definitely cant speak on some of the specific issues shown (or implied) in mh, but it seriously impresses me, and I think it says a lot that so many people with things like schizophrenia, DID, and the like are drawn to the series and specifically Tim's character. Like, I know Tim Sutton didn't sit down and say "I'm portraying a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder" but fuck if he doesn't show it. Like, theyre all just such talented actors and storytellers and the subtleties in the characters and their sheer relatability show that.

Just. This fucking show, man

(on a related note, please please please please please go read kit's fic Tell me what you see because it owns me. like a little purse dog does it own me.)

[whirlybirbs]

I just want to know how you feel about supporting other fanfic writers. on tumblr theres such a huge emphasis put on reblogging fellow creator’s work to boost them. I understand how important that is but as a fairly big blog, do you feel that it is a responsibility on your shoulders to boost others? I ask u this not bc I want you to do anything, but bc I’m in the same position and I’m feeling very pressured to reblog all my mutual’s content. I’m torn between the whole “it’s my blog” view (aka I just want to log on, post and disappear. that’s all I want to do) and also “I have a debt to repay” bc I know how many people supported me when I started out. that being said...I didn’t expect it, and I still don’t expect interaction from anyone. whether some chooses to rb or like my content has never been a concern for me, but I know interaction is a HUGE thing for many writers here. idk I feel disingenuous for reblogging and hyping them up when I’m really not in the headspace for it...and i feel like I’m putting on some kind of front to my followers like I’m a slimy salesman. this might not make ANY sense hope, completely understand hahahah. if u do want to reply I would prefer this ask not to be posted publicly but yeah you’re under no obligation ofc! (2/2)

honestly i think this is a really good question that a lot of people try to navigate — and i would answer privately but because it’s an anon i can’t! however!

i think this is a great discussion to have because you raise a lot of really good points here and you’re not the first person to ask me about this!

it’s been an interesting culture shift — i have been writing on tumblr for well over four years now, so i’ve watched the algorithm slowly begin to kill written mediums steadily. with this, a lot of people started talking about the like to reblog difference and how to “properly support writers on tumblr”.

for me, interactions are interactions — seeing comments or reblogged comments are particularly lovely because it means someone enjoyed your work enough to take the time to talk to you about. same with asks about certain works! it’s incredibly lovely to see these things, read them, and interact with readers. for some, likes operate the same way. some people are just shy. maybe they don’t have time to send a whole literary analysis on the metaphor you used in paragraph eight. and that’s okay!

i think the tumblr obsession with notes and “boosting” fics has gotten a bit out of hand, and in my experience, i’ve noticed a few of the blogs behind these popular posts can be a bit fame-hungry. in reality, being popular on tumblr has little value, really. no money, a good amount of hate, but gain a strong community if you do it right that can be wonderful! that’s the best part - but sometimes these small writers push for a bit of virtue signaling in that you aren’t “supporting writers” if you don’t reblog to gain this. every other post is something about writing floppping, or how people on their tag list need to interact or they’ll be removed.

(yes, seriously i have gotten into beef with someone over this exact practice, just ask lauren.)

this is why i personally don’t like getting messages about “you should read (this fic) by (this writer)” and i get them a lot. it’s a weird feeling because they’re often without explanation, random, and on anon. it feels a lot like trying to game free exposure to 13k followers. i have set a standard where i don’t do fic recs, so i ignore these messages. and that’s just how i roll!

if you really want to support writers on tumblr, donate to their ko-fi’s. commission a writing piece. send them $5 on paypal. we really do this stuff for free. some people may want to be paid in “exposure” (i.e. reblogs) but those reblogs aren’t paying my bills so i dunno what they’re on about. to each their own, but paying for a coffee is the ultimate thank you.

personally, i operate from a standpoint of enjoyment. if i really enjoy a fic, i reblog it. like i’m talking jaw-hits-the floor really love it! i feel it’s important to be mindful if you’re going to do fic recs that you don’t reblog everything. unless you’re a blog specifically meant for that, or you run it that way!

again, everything i’m saying here is my personal take and my personal way of running my blog.

i have been doing this for a long time, with some mediocre success, and truly the worst writer’s block came when i worried about notes. i felt like i wasn’t creating content that was worth it. in reality, i was creating content i enjoyed, but the pressure of seeing those triple digit notes was putting a damper on my style.

giving content creators the thanks they deserve is important, but don’t feel as though it needs to be your full time job. small things go a long way, and a lot of us are immensely grateful for the tiniest of things.

i hope this helps you figure out how you wanna navigate this tricky landscape.

[michaelmilkers]

I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was. 

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS. 

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it. 

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit. 

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

[lcnguor]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess.......  so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

[personagf-moved]

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs: 

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love 

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 

h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 

u // underwear colour: she be black 

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

 What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

[rectusdominus]

50 Questions Game

I was tagged by @lordfartwad thanks ily

1. what takes up too much of your time? panicking about things out of my control

2. what makes your day better? good music, sunshine, dancing/performing, working out and accomplishing something new

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? nothing happened today. eating toast was the best thing to happen today.

4. what fictional place would you like to go? Pandora would be cool? idk

5. are you good at giving advice? most of my advice is useless in a practical sense, so no

6. do you have any mental illness? yeah depression, there’s definitely an anxiety related problem in there somewhere

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no but I’ve woken up multiple times with my arm completely numb and immovable and had to manually wake it up again. not great.

8. what musician inspired you the most? Kurt Cobain which sounds cliche but it’s valid. Billie Joe Armstrong is also up there

9. have you ever fallen in love? I technically say no, but I fall in love with different things in a romantic sense every day

10. what’s your dream date? fun thing would be a concert or to the movies, dinner either at a place or outside somewhere, maybe we can just fuck around town at night and then sit outside somewhere until it’s late. I want spontaneous fun with friends or partners idk

11. what do others notice about you? don’t really know, probably how uncomfortable/unprepared I am in social situations

12. what is the annoying habit you have? there’s too much to unpack here

13. do you still talk to your first love? not applicable

14. how many ex’s do you have? not applicable

15. how many songs are on your playlist? I have too many playlists but my spotify library is maxed out at 10,000

16. what instruments can you play? I used to play clarinet but I can’t really play anything

17. who do you have the most pictures of? myself probably, I don’t have friends

18. where would you like to go before you die? Vegas again, Italy would be cool, but definitely Vegas

19. what is your zodiac? Leo

20. do you relate to it? now that I’m mentally stable? hell yeah

21. what is happiness to you? performing in front of a big crowd under lights, the thrill being on a big roller coaster on a hot summer day, watching the kids I coach succeed

22. are you going through anything right now? college stuff, getting a car/license, deciding on what I want to do in the next few years/where I want to be with myself

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? oh I’m not going down that road but thanks for asking

24. what’s your favourite store? Journey’s even tho I never buy anything there, I really should, the stuff is cool. I’m also really into sports apparel stores idk

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? I don’t necessarily “like” it but like.. it’s a safer option in some medical scenarios and also it’s none of my business if that’s something you want to do it’s better to have the option

26. do you keep a bucket list? not for my life, but I have stuff for the year or “by the time I’m this age” I take it as it comes

27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? The Menzingers, After the Party will always be The One

28. what do you want for your birthday? a tattoo or some piercings or a car or all of the above. NO WAIT I need to go skydiving bc I didn’t do it before I turned 20 so I have to do it while I’m 20

29. what are most peoples first impression of you? uhhh idk probably uncomfortable, seems kinda closed off so possibly bitchy, and idk she dresses kinda weird but I respect it

30. what age do you seem according to most people? younger than 20 I’ll tell you that

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? too close to my head but it’s so I hear the alarm/vibration to wake up

32. what word or phrase do you say the most? I say “dude”, “bro”, “yo”, “sweet”, “sick”, and I use the word “just” a lot in sentences for some reason. I sound like a 14 year old in 1992

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? idk 23-25? it would have to be like.. really worth it tho

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 19, I think my limit would always be a year or two younger than me

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? they don’t really

36. what’s your favourite music genre? rock music

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? besides here in hell idk maybe New Zealand? I don’t like anywhere, we’re all fucked

38. what is your current favourite song? “Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers

39. how long have you had this blog for? since early 2012 I think

40. what are you excited for? the future

41. are you a better talker or listener? listener, I can’t talk for shit

42. what is the last productive thing you did? try to make sure my college money is useful to me

43. what do you want for Christmas? a tattoo pls thanks

44. what class do you get the best grades in? apparently math? but really just the ones I care the most about

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? maybe an 8 just because I’m content but I do seriously wish I had something to do

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? being a choreographer/coaching, or working behind the scenes somewhere for something related to my major

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? when my parents got divorced when I was 9, but it was for the best so !! yay

48. at what age do you want to get married? when/if it’s the time but not until after I’m 30

49. what career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to blow glass or be a welder or something

50. what do you crave right now? adventure

I tag: @whatlomalikes @boodhirooks @solovalker @gayperry @kingfindekano @bicon-pappymcpoyle and anyone else idk

[starryseo]

high schooler!jaemin

my pRECIOUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS

im sososo excited to write this because i loVE NANA sosososo much,, i miss him terribly but i hope that if and when he returns he is super happy and healthy so he can carry on making m e m o r i e s. sm need to update us more on him :((

sOO0o0oO0O0o0oooo0OOOO0o

ok so ma boi na jaemin

is literally loved by everyone in that school

and they all know him as the Smiley Kid™

like they may not even be in a class with him

mAY NOT even be in his year

but they have seen him around school

and i GUARANTEE he was smiling so everyone just knows who he is

they also know him bc he once started this petition

initially, the school didnt have a badminton club

and nana was just like ???/ badminton is love what the heck????

so he b e g g e d the sports teacher to start a club

and the teacher loves nana bc he’s always so active and supportive and just amaZING in their class,,,,, so they give him a chance

but they cant just start a club outta nowhere yknow?

so they’re like, if you get enough people to support you then i’ll talk to the head teacher and see what we can do ok?

so thIS BOI RAN OUT and started just asking literally e v e r y o n e in the school to sign this paper so the club would happen

and like who can say no to his smile??? it literally makes my heart weAK

the dreamies were the first to sign obviously

even donghyuck

but he only done it after nana said he’d post the old baby photos of hyuck everywhere aha love this boy

those baby photos??? he got them from hyuck’s mum lmao

yeah hes the kinda kid to talk with the other dreamies’ parents - mainly the mums because hes just such ??? a darling? ???

obviously he got enough signatures and he did not stop smiling for like a week bc badminton club!!!!! is finally a thing!!!!

he and mark are always the first to turn up and honestly some ppl just go to watch the two of them have a match

when hes not sparring w/ mark hes super kind and helps out others that are playing but struggling

which just makes everyone love him even more

he and jeno always get lockers full of confessions

and hes such a cutie he has the notes all saved in a shoe box under his bed

i say “a shoe box” but like he has so many notes there are like 20 boxes lmao rip

and whenever he gets chocolates or smth he always shares them with the dreamies

he also tries to help the others out whenever he can

like,, running lines with jeno for his auditions,,,,, helping out jisung and chenle with their homework etc.

he also encouraged mark the first time he wrote a poem to get it published in the school paper,, mark was heckin’ nervous so nana suggested sending it in anonymously, and mark just continued with it

also!!!!! this boy!!! i know i said renjun has like the bEST food in his lunch boxes, but jaemin is a close second

he always packs fruit with him and like its so ?? cute???

he spends the previous night chopping up the fruit - apples, bananas, mangoes, pomegranates, grapes, oranges, you name it - and then puts it in the fridge so it’s all fresh for lunch tomorrow.

uses a separate container for it and theres just s o  m u c h fruit

he brings in 7 forks as well because he kNOWS !!!!1 the others are gonna take some from him

alsooo he is The Hoverboard Master™

lowkey gets frustrated when jisung challenges him

but is highkey supeeerrrr !! happy!!! when he beats jisung

insert the dreamies just disappointingly head shaking as jisung fake cries

“youre seriously not gonna let the kid win??” - mark

“even im not that cruel” - hyuck

but nana #dontgiveafuck bc he just won hAH TAKE THAT @JISUNG [had to make sure i didnt tag a blog there lmao rip]

mm so yall prolly met bc of a mutual dislike for sociology

ok so this part may be rubbish bc i know nothing abt sociology lmao so idk bare with me

yall were in the same class and the teacher set a partner project for the last term which she would test you on

1) ew partner projects #amirite 2) ew sociology #amiriteagain

cliche move: yall got paired up together

the project was basically one where you guys could freely talk about any topic relating to modern day society

you guys had to prepare a powerpoint expressing contrasting views to the topic and then also include your own

didnt seem hard enough, but since you were being graded on this you had to put in 110% effort overachievers ayyyy

so yall got to work, tryna think of what topic you could write about

and after much debate and thinking you both eventually agreed on writing about how social media portray young men

first yall were gonna do women but felt that others may do that,,,, and also that the expectations men had werent spoken of as much so this would be interesting

in lesson you made a quick plan about how you were gonna go about this

decided that it’d be best if you both worked on the powerpoint together, but done research separately so you could just merge the two when making the powerpoint. like, nana would find bad views and you would find good ones.

so you went your separate ways after that lesson and met up the next day

yall chilled out in the library after school and started your individual researching

and after like the first hour the cuTIE asks if youre hungry and youre like yeah a lil’ bit, so you guys pack up your stuff and head down the street to the cafe and eat a bit there

he pays even tho you had previously agreed to split it :(((

and youre just like “hey we should just base our project on you-”

jaemin: “a nice young man that pays the bills?”

you: “a lying young man who said we’d split but stole the bill before i could do anything. im writing bad things about you now”

jaemin: “YOURE BEING BIASED, THATS UNFAIR–”

you: “idc :))))”

yall were just kidding obvs

after eating you guys head back to the cafe for like another hour of researching

and you decided that tomorrow you’d make a start on the powerpoint

so yall say bye, meet up tomorrow after school bc theres no sociology lesson, and do the same thing as yesterday

including the cafe dateeeee ;))))) 

you make a start on the powerpoint and like hes such a perfectionist

like “no, no, no y/n move the title a bit to the right. no no ! your other right,,,, aaa no youve moved it too much !!!!”

“um,,,,, im not really feeling this navy blue, use that green instead,,, actuallyyyyy, what about that purple over there????”

after he starts shouting out hex codes to use you give up and just let him take the mouse

he ends up keeping the initial navy blue lmao

so after that hectic day and jaemin’s complaining youve managed to do just. your. first. slide.

but it has a super c00l background and animations so yeah very productive !!!

this basically continues for the next 3 weeks, with you guys presenting in the 4th week.

when it comes to the presentation day yall were vvvv nervous going up bc you get graded on how you present it as well, not just the info :’))))

but the whole thing runs super smoothly bc na jaemin flashed thAT SMILE @ YOU AND ALL YOUR WORRIES DISAPPEARED BEFORE YOU GUYS EVEN INTRODUCED THE TOPIC

the whole thing went really well, you guys took turn answering questions your peers and the teacher threw at you and when yall were done he sMILED AGAIN !!!!! and like yall felt super confident bc that went hecking well

when you got your results back it was an A*/ A+ and nana sent a message to you like “OMGGGGGGG WE DID IT!!! YESSSS!!!! MY AMAZING HARD WORK PAID OFF”

“***ouR AMAZING HARD WORK,,, BUT LIKE IM PRETTY SURE IT WAS MY AMAZING HEX CODES THAT SEALED THE DEAL”

yall decided to celebrate at the cafe that you frequented

the old lady that owned the place knew you guys really well bc of the project

she’d be constantly refuelling you guys so she knew about the project too LMAO

and so when you guys told her that you guys aced the project she was super happy too and she was like “your food is on the house ily !!!!”

so like whoop whoop !! free food !

and you guys kept up that tradition during the summer holidays, meeting up at the cafe

and like the employees there knew you both so well

they started a bet like “how long until they walk in here holding hands one day and start dating???”

jaemin accidentally calls you sweetie or smth and you both just hear the old lady scream “yeSSSS!!! I WON!!!!! PAY UP WORKERSsss!!!! FREE FOOD FOR YOU, JAEMIN + Y/N!!!”

yall were confused as heck buT FREE FOOD !!!

i aint even surprised this was my longest one i love na jaemin

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something