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cyndavilachase · 4 years

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I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended…

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant.

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation.

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers.

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt.

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely.

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that.

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

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hopeymchope · 3 years

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Parascientific Escape: The sci-fi “escape room” visual novel-style series nobody talks about

I can’t help thinking that Parascientific Escape would probably have an active fandom somewhere on the Internet if it wasn’t TRAPPED ON THE 3DS ESHOP.

I mean, it’s an escape room-centric visual novel-style sci-fi Japanese game that is clearly inspired by Zero Escape and very anime in its style. There are endearing characters, including optimal waifus/husbandos, plus a gradual buildup of an interesting fictional world full of political intrigue, its own countries, its own companies, and of course... psychic powers. Because you can’t have a trilogy of Japanese visual novel-style games featuring escape room puzzles without mental powers, now can you?

But as I said... they’re trapped as download-only titles for the 3DS. That’s fucking brutal.

Even so, there’s a pretty big 3DS/2DS user base still in existence. It’s not like they’ve never been translated or something, so at least we have the capability to play them. So if you look into them, what are you getting?

A basic overview: Parascientific Escape is a trilogy of anime-style games about solving escape room mysteries and tracking down evildoers via the use of psychic powers (obvious Zero Escape influences). There’s an overarching plot about a mysterious mastermind who believes it’s time for the recently emerged psychics of the world to take their place as the next evolution of humanity and get their own nation (obvious X-Men influences).

They don’t work very well as standalone stories; each story relies on information from the last one, culminating in a game that stars the protagonists of both parts 1 and 2 together as they finally unravel the motivations behind the events of the whole series and face off with the people behind everything. In addition, the escape room puzzles start out pretty easy in the first game build to be pretty frustratingly obtuse by the tail end of the third. And on top of all that, each game taken on its own only contains about 3-4 escape rooms. So when you bundle all three together, that’s when it all works as a single satisfying package.

Don’t worry about burning a lot of cash to play the whole series, however. The three games are $5.00 US each on the 3DS eShop and are usually on sale for $2.50 each these days. I got the entire trilogy for $7.50 US!

So let’s break down the gameplay and setup in a little more detail. Don’t worry; I won’t give any spoilers that go beyond the first five minutes of any game in the series. The twists and turns are part of the fun here.

The first game is Parascientific Escape: Cruise in the Distant Seas. You play as Hitomi Akeneno, a high school girl (because of course she’s a high-schooler) with the dual abilities of mild telekinesis and a type of clairvoyance that lets her peer past barriers or into the insides of objects. She finds herself trapped on a sinking cruise ship where some mastermind keeps systematically locking her into isolated sections while she’s trying desperately to escape.

I really liked how you could look inside of an object with clairvoyance and then use her telekinesis to manipulate the various switches and levers within, gradually pulling some object you need out from within a maze. I also thought it was clever how the solution to a new escape roomight require you to backtrack to a previous escape room to investigate some object or area that wasn’t relevant to that previous room’s original puzzle.

(One of the things I found most fascinating about this one is the ethical debate raised by Hitomi’s friend Chisono regarding how Hitomi got herself involved in all this. Chisono offers a perspective that is extremely unusual to see in most fiction. You can even say it’s pretty cold, but it’s not without having some merit to it. I don’t want to say too much about what I’m talking about, though; it’s better left as a surprise.)

The second title, Parascientific Escape: Gear Detective, almost seems standalone at first. You play as Kyosuke Ayana, a private detective and actual adult (!) who is 22 years old. A young woman shows up at his office and asks to hire him for protection. See, there’s a serial killer on the loose, and she believes she’s the next target.

We are swiftly told that Kyosuke was once in an accident that necessitated the replacement of his left arm and right eye. He volunteered to be a guinea pig for some very special prosthetics that granted him artificial psychic powers. As such, he now has “chronokinesis” — to the power to look back in time. However, he can only look back for five days, and he only has limited ability to move or manipulate the things he sees in the past.

Naturally, Kyosuke’s investigation winds up trapping him within some escape rooms that require use of his unique abilities to solve. Some of the hints at the proper timestamps or exactly where you should be looking when you peer into the past are a little vague, though, which can cause momentary frustration. Because I like to always be making forward progress, I actually preferred Hitomi’s telekinesis/clairvoyance powers from the first game. Still, Hitomi had some pretty basic puzzles in her rooms. I can’t deny that these puzzles took more thought.

Outside of the escape rooms, everything is undeniably a huge improvement. The first game presented strictly linear segments of storytelling between the rooms, but this one is more of an adventure game. You can choose where you go, select from a limited menu of things to do when you get there, and do all of it in any order you like. There’s usually a correct sequence order to progressing the story, but it’s typically pretty clear what the next step is, so it’s not like you’re just flailing about and trying a bunch of locations blindly. Besides, there’s no way to get stuck, so don’t stress it. There are even a lot of actions you can take that have no impact on story progression at all — they’re just there to generate additional dialogue that further develops the characters.

The tradeoff is that you actually get fewer escape rooms overall. The first game had four, but the second only contains three. This is also the first game in the series to introduce multiple endings; you get a number of dialogue choices throughout, and unfortunately, it’s far too easy to trigger the “bad” ending. There are guides online to help you trigger the Gold Star “true” ending, however. Just hit up GameFAQs. You might want to use the guide on your first playthrough, because I can say from experience that it’s annoying to have to replay all the dialogue sections just to make the correct choices. (Luckily, you can skip over any irrelevant sections of each chapter — including the escape room puzzles.)

In spite of my above whining, the second one is probably my single favorite story in the Parascientific trilogy. It’s a lot of fun.

The final game in the trilogy is Parascientific Escape: Crossing at the Farthest Horizon. Mysterious characters who were plotting offscreen for the previous two games are finally given faces, locations that were talked about extensively in both are finally visited, and the two protagonists of the first couple games finally meet and team up. It’s absolutely a culmination of what they set up in the first two.

The narrative jumps around from the perspectives of many different characters, but the most time is undoubtedly spent with Hitomi and Kyosuke. Sadly, there is no gameplay usage of Hitomi’s powers this time; the escape rooms are all done with Kyosuke, and they are more devious now than ever before. Personally, I found the next-to-last one to be incredibly obtuse and frustrating. I ultimately had to consult a video playthrough on YouTube for that. (The YouTuber in question didn’t seem to have the same issues figuring things out that I did. So I guess your mileage may vary.)

The “adventure game” segments make a return here as well, although they’ve also become a bit tougher to figure out. There are a couple of times when you might find yourself wandering the various location options, clicking on every possible action to try and progress. Luckily, there aren’t so many default options that you’re left flailing for very long. Even the longest period of clueless wandering lasted me a maximum of 15 minutes.

Once again, you have to make the correct dialogue choices if you want a positive ending. And once again, GameFAQs is your friend and co-pilot.

Ultimately, even the gated endings and occasional puzzle frustrations did little to curb my enthusiasm. I really had fun with these characters and their stories, I greatly enjoyed the majority of the escape rooms, and I was pretty satisfied with how it all wrapped up. The character designs/artwork get better and better as the series goes on. The selection of music tracks may be the same throughout the whole series, but I really dug on them, so I can’t complain. Do I have any other misgivings? Well, just one; the English localization is pretty sloppy. There are a pretty large number of typos, and the dialogue can sound stilted and awkward at times due to being a direct translation. It’s actually at its worst at the start of the first game. Luckily, after about 30 minutes of playtime, it settles in and finds its voice.

Seriously, they should really figure out a way to re-package these games for another system that doesn’t use the the dual-screen setup. Put all three of them together, and it’d easily be satisfying as a full retail release!

But for now, if you have a 3DS/2DS, they’re only $7.50 in total most of the time (and $15.00 at the worst). Do you like adventure game-style mysteries and visual novel-esque progression and, of course, escape rooms? You should give these a shot! And I hope these devs get to make games with bigger budgets and better localizations in the future.

#parascientific escape #parascientific escape: gear detective #parascientific escape: cruise in the distant seas #parascientific escape: crossing at the farthest horizon #3ds #2ds #3ds games #2ds games #video games #visual novels #Kyosuke Ayana #hitomi akeneno #escape room games

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bbdaydreams · 3 years

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Courage My Love// Semi Eita

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Summary: You like Semi and come up with a plan to confess to him, unfortunately it takes a turn. You meet again a couple years later by chance.

Chapter Five: Old Friends

Series Masterlist•<previous•next>

—————

“Thank you all so much for coming out tonight!” Semi spoke into his mic, sweat dripping down his face from all the jumping around he’d done in the past thirty minutes. “We’re coming up on time so this next one is going to be the last one. Once again thank you so much!”

The boys were currently playing a well known venue in their area that offered a standing room for shows and seating towards the entrance for those looking to eat. It’s small but mighty, especially when it’s filled at max capacity at least once a week. The boys were regulars, performing at least once every other week.

When they finished the song, they all walked off stage and headed backstage to put away all their gear so the next band could play.

“God, I love playing here,” Subaru started.

“Yeah, we’re lucky to get to do this,” Jiro added on.

“Imagine if we played a bigger venue. I don’t know how I’d act,” Semi continued.

“Crazy, right?” Ranmaru and a strangers voice added on. The four young men turned to the source of the voice.

“Hi, I’m from Misfits Records. You guys have quite the following and I’d like to sign you guys. I’ve been to a couple of your shows and I think you guys have what it takes to make it.”

The boys turned to look at each other before looking at the man, Jiro being the first to speak. “Are you sure it’s us you want? There’s still more bands playing after us,” to which the rest of the boys responded by punching his arm.

“He means yes. We’d be honored,” Semi took over.

Fast forward two years now, your band has blown up and you now have listeners all over the world. You’ve had the opportunity to travel to 4 different continents, some tours lasting a week, the longest being three months. Getting to open for bigger bands was always becoming normal but being invited for guest vocals during sets and songs was even more frequent.

You’ve gotten the chance to perform at festivals and events like Warped Tour which is what really helped expose Courage My Love to even more people. The first time you were invited to join the run, the four of you spent the entire tour talking to people as much as you could, being kind to strangers, thanking fans for their support, and checking out other bands and complimenting their performances. All that wasn’t to promote yourself, even though that was the goal. Everything you did was genuine, and you four genuinely wanted to get to know others. This caught the attention of many passerby’s which caused them to check out your music. It made other musicians want to befriend you for being so honest which was something that was hard to find in the music industry nowadays. People were so hungry for fame, they weren’t above using others to climb higher. Your rise in popularity caused curiosity which made you guys get more interviews.

“Hey, hey, hey, we’re here in Courage My Love’s tour bus! Say hi everyone!”

“Hey!” You four greeted when the camera was pointed at all of you.

They asked general questions about your formation, how the tour was going and about the second album you just released months prior before deciding to ask more personal questions.

“We can all agree that dating is hard enough as it is, I can’t even imagine how it is for you guys since you’re on the road so much.”

“You’re right about that. We’re all happily single at the moment though, right?” Yui answered causing you and the others to nod your head yes.

“We definitely have tried to date but yeah touring definitely gets in the way,” Izumi added.

“We’ll have you guys ever thought about dating another musician? Maybe someone throughout the tour? Anyone caught your eye?” The interviewer asked suggestively.

With interviews, you always had to be careful with how you respond. You never want something to come back and bite you in the ass. You also had to watch out for suggestive questions like the one asked, those are just trying to fish out some drama.

“Personally, no. I don’t think I could simply because it’d be a lot of time away from your partner which isn’t fair to either of you,” you answered before looking at Haruka so she could answer the rest.

“We take everything we do pretty seriously despite how we can come off sometimes. Dating someone you’re touring with just seems like drama waiting to happen which is something none of us want to be a part of,” she finished with a smile.

“I see. Well, what is it like to be an all female band in the music industry?”

“You can just check out our newest single, Now You Know, for that. I think it explains itself pretty well.”

“Oh! Looks like we’re out of time, thank you so much for hanging out, see ya next time!” She thanked you guys personally for your time and you all did the same before her and the crew left.

“I can’t believe she tried us with that,” Yui spoke, stretching in her seat.

“It was pretty bold of them,” Izumi agreed.

“It’s sad. I just know they wouldn’t ask guys that. We’re here to make music just like them,” you added, getting up from your spot to go to the small kitchen to start dinner for you all.

“Being a woman sure is hard, and for no reason,” Haruka finished, grabbing her drumsticks to tap the table to get some frustration out.

Album release day! Courage My Love released their third album the following year, coincidentally the same day Semi’s band released their first album, whom unknown to you changed their name from Eagle Thorns to Won’t Regret. Courage My Love reached the number one spot in the rock category that week, a huge milestone. Won’t Regret reached top 20 which was a much better response than they expected. Both bands spent that day celebrating by having a small party at their respective label’s office.

The next day when you went into the studio your manager delivered you with the news for your next tour. “You guys are going to be touring with ONE OK ROCK in the US! You’re going to be the second act. Big things girls, big things.”

“We’re touring with them?” You asked, not believing the fact that you were going to be playing shows with one of your favorite bands.

After reassuring you, you reached out and grabbed onto Yui’s arms in excitement jumping up and down. While you were hyping yourself up, Haruka asked their manager who the opening act was going to be resulting in her eyes going wide.

“We’re touring with who?” The boys asked their manager, leaning forward in their seats with mouths wide.

“You’re gonna be touring with ONE OK ROCK and Courage My Love. Your latest single really blew up, the singer of ONE OK ROCK loved it so much he actually asked for you guys specifically.”

“No fucking way,” Semi spoke in awe.

“We’re not doing it,” Ranmaru announced, making the rest of his band members jump in surprise and disagree.

“Are you crazy? We can’t decline an opportunity like that!” Subaru started.

“Yeah! This is such a huge opportunity and you’re gonna say no?” Jiro added.

Semi stayed quiet, knowing he was the reason why Ranmaru said no. The two of them were pretty similar in mindset which made it easy for them to call each other. “I’ll do my best,” Semi said, looking at the bassist.

“Eita, we don’t need drama on our first big tour.” Ranmaru did feel bad for being blunt but he knew it was how he could get his point across. This tour could either help make them or break them. “I want us to succeed. I want us to keep playing music together.”

Subaru and Jiro stayed quiet, now understanding why Ranmaru reacted the way he did. They both had to agree with him. They’ve all put years worth effort into the band, it’d be a shame for it to fall apart after they had just made it.

“I know. I don’t want to ever not play music with you guys. I owe you guys a lot and I’m tired of holding us back. I swear I’ll be on my best behavior. I’ll apologize the moment I see them. Won’t Regret comes first, always has and always will.” Looking around the room he saw the small smirks on their faces, giving him comfort.

“Whatever you say, leader,” Ranmaru joked, pushing Semi’s shoulder so he wasn’t so stiff.

“We’re right behind you dude,” Subaru laughed.

“We’re gonna do it!” Jiro jumped bringing his band mates into a group huddle.

“You guys won’t regret this tour, I promise,” Semi said earning a smack on the back of his head from Subaru.

“Bad pun, Eita.”

Hey, this is Taka from ONE OK ROCK!

You guys are probably preparing for tour since it starts in a few days but I’d like to invite you and your band mates to dinner to meet you all!

Let me know if you can make it

-Taka :)

That was the text that you had received that led to you and the girls getting mildly dressed up to go eat at a restaurant the day before tour started. The tour was going to last six weeks and starting it off by having fun with everyone you were going to be performing with sounded like a great idea.

The four of you walked into the dimly lit restaurant together resulting in the hostess to escort you towards the table that had been reserved for your group. “Oh! Ladies you have arrived! Please have a seat,” Taka spoke, getting up to pull open the chairs so you all could sit.

Upon announcing your arrival, everyone looked up to face your group. Your face immediately grew warm when you saw the familiar faces, locking eyes with the one person you never thought you’d cross paths with again and even though Semi was fully aware this was going to happen, he still couldn’t believe it. Breaking eye contact with him, you gave a look to Haruka as if asking for help since Yui and Izumi already sat in their seats. Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by your old friend, reason being you used to give him those same looks all those years back. Haruka nodded her head and took a step towards the empty seat next to Semi before being stopped.

“Oh I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to come off as rude but I’d like your singer to sit here. I’d like to talk about vocal and stage stuff with them if you don’t mind,” Taka apologized. Knowing he was being sincere and understanding where he was coming from, you knew you shouldn’t argue and instead just suck it up. Haruka gave you a gentle smile before sitting between Yui and Jiro. Sitting down on the chair between Semi and Izumi, Taka pushed it in for you like a gentleman before going back to his own seat. “Alright, let’s order!”

A waitress came over to the table and gave her regular spiel of the specials as she handed out the menus which you unfortunately had to share with Semi since they were short on them.

“You can order first,” Semi spoke softly, letting you have the menu to look through. He wanted to tell you so much more. Apologize right then and there and try to fix things between you two but he couldn’t knowing he had to be professional right now. Ranmaru and Subaru kept glancing at him over their booklet as a warning to not fuck up the nice meal for them while Jiro chatted with your band mates. Semi just wished you two could talk like old friends.

Accepting the tall binded leather booklet, you gave a small thanks before opening it to look through it. This was going to be a long night.

—————

a/n: filler chapter but look!! They finally reunite!

Taglist: @pluviophilefangirl @yourstarvic @sunaswife @mynscorner @syaziahvg @discountkiyoko

#haikyu #haikyuu!!#semi eita #semi x reader #semi haikyuu #semi eita x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyu x y/n

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dragonturtle2 · 3 years

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Charting Penny's course, on the eve of the V8 finale.

I just realized that one of the lengthiest essays I ever posted online was never copied or cross posted over here to Tumblr. A huge mistake on my part. For one, as a big fan of transhumanism, I got a kind of enjoyment mapping out the distinctions Penny Poledina’s series-wide arc, even with the flaws. Two, I’m actually kind of proud of the predictions I made at the end. Not because I was correct about one of them; I remarked how I’d LIKE Rooster Teeth to do something, not that they’d actually take the shot. But some of the stuff I thought of was fun, and I do feel a bit of validation for having my thoughts line up with the actual writers; especially in lieu of how heated other people’s reactions were to something sorrowful and unexpected.

Tonight I had been responding to a critique I'd found earlier on Tumblr. They had remarked that Penny's conflict in Volumes 2, 7 and 8 were just recycling the question of whether Penny was a real girl. That doing so was just boring as heck, when the question has been answered firmly with Penny becoming the Winter Maiden. I thought the question of “what makes a person a person, and not just a simulated pattern of behaviors with the instinct to survive?” was broad enough to get a few arcs’ worth of visitation. But I thought just responding with that one lengthy sentence could come off as belittling sarcasm. So tried to offer up an my actual interpretation and clear opinion. I got this monstrosity.

Volume 1 has Penny reaching out to make friends, V2 is finally admitting her robot nature to someone and vocalizing her fears about being a real girl. Volume 3 dangles the upcoming conflict of her wanting to exercise independent action, step away from the national military organization that bankrolled and housed her, and go to Beacon with her friends. But that got cut short.

Volume 7 picks up the thread of Penny’s independent actions. Not just with the ability to disagree with or full-on disobey orders, but her own value system and initiative. Not only is she asking Winter about how to make decisions in life, she is also silently (and not-so-silently) judging whether Winter is morally right, or even truly happy with her own choices. When she takes Freya’s hand, she asks something that no one has probably said to Freya in awhile: “Are you OK?”

Volume 8 is focused on the things being taken from her. Her previous family-unit-facsimile of James, Winter and the Ace Ops have labeled her a traitor and are now hunting her. Being targeted as the Maiden makes her distance herself from her friends, so they aren’t further harmed . In doing that, she also leaves behind her previous dedication, protecting Mantle, to launch Amity Tower and assist in the bigger picture of warning the entire planet. Then in the pursuit of that goal she damages herself, pushes her body to it’s limit, and says goodbye to her father.

Volume 8 might seem to backpedal, and spend much of the season emphasizing how inhuman Penny is. That’s the point. After Freya essentially canonizes Penny as human, with her ‘blessing,’ Penny’s new identity (to herself and the audience) is arrested in the most traumatic ways possible. Her body is peeled back and cut open. Her schematics are passed around and assessed by characters and factions more than ever. The hacking is the Atlas military complex literally claiming ownership over her, exploiting the body and code they created alongside Pietro. (In contrast with the earlier consensual control and teamwork with Pietro, which even then she hardly enjoyed). How much pain can you inflict on a person until they devolve, or abandon rational thought? Little wonder Penny ends up begging the team to end her own life. She’s now taken Winter’s role from Volume 7, her self-esteem having sunken even lower. “My life doesn’t matter!“

When that ghastly moment was (temporarily) resolved with a quick revelation and Jaune’s Semblance, it was a moment of mixed feelings for me in an episode I otherwise loved. But I really came around to it afterword. They have to head to Vault for a permanent fix pretty much immediately, so it doesn’t feel like the writers used Jaune to kick the can down the road until they felt like tackling it. A very direct benefit is that by pausing Penny’s affliction, Penny gains the ability to actually have a conversation with people, to have scenes beyond just desperately wrestling her. It also spared us the repeated dialogue of “I must go to the Vault. I don’t want to! I must - I don’t! - I MUST- I DON’T!” Seriously, that routine was wearing thin.

Whether any fans predicted Jaune’s Semblance being able to help or not, I’m pleased when characters are able to quickly conceive applications of in-universe fictional powers. This is such a refreshing improvement over how CRWBY previously couldn’t bring Ruby to even ASK about the Silver Eyes that put her in a coma.

There were missteps along the way. Ruby really should have reacted more to her friend coming back to life; RT leaning on the Fourth Wall doesn’t fully remove the sting. ("It seems we will have to wait!”) We also never see any of our protagonists outside of Ruby even react to the revelation of a robotic life form. When they meet Penny again at V7′s start, apparently ALL of them, even Oscar, were so acquainted with Penny’s story that none of them had any questions for her the entire Volume. There was no sense of betrayed trust, or trauma from watching one friend be ripped apart by another. These are disappointments, but not deal breakers. Now, I want to talk about how post-Ambrosius Penny may fit in with the rest of the story. Maybe it’s stupid of me to try to get this out by 4 in the morning the day the finale drops, but I’m on a role, and I want to get my ideas out in the open before they’re tainted by hindsight. Otherwise I won’t feel like even finishing this.

I’m not going to launch into a tangent with the metaphysical mechanics on whether Penny’s new body would have ‘logically’ been conjured or not. (For the record I think it works). I just want to talk about the message the show is conveying, and what they could do with it. My base assumption is that Cinder is going to get the Winter Maiden power. It would be great way to coincide with her (GASP) actual character development this volume. But more importantly, if she doesn’t succeed in her goal, and get an upgrade to compete with our leveled-up protagonists, I can’t see how she can be an interesting or threatening villain going forward. A few ways this can end for Penny:

Pietro could give up the last bit of his life to bring her back. He’d probably need to get assistance from Abrosius, since he’s lacking in equipment; he’s a brilliant scientist, so explaining it certainly wouldn’t be an obstacle. Maybe Penny would be back to being a synthetic, maybe she remains organic. Either way, it’s a compromise with having a functional villain, while keeping around a fandom darling. Personally, I think RT needs to evoke the spirit of Volume 3, and make people cry.

Actually killing Penny would be bold and stand-out. By taking away Penny’s function of a core that can be salvaged (as explained at the start of Volume 7), and having her body get incinerated just like Pyrrha, RT can fully signal “This character is dead, and can’t be resurrected.” The heart break would be brilliant, with Penny getting to know the joys of an organic body just to be immediately ripped away from life. This would beautifully parallel with General Ironwood. James clamped down on human emotion because he thought it would give him the strength to stand against the darkness. Penny’s friends made her MORE human in a loving act of rescue, but now have to watch as she dies like any other human. Both characters would be cautionary tales regarding the Atlas Arc’s question of Trust. To leave yourself open.

Alrighty, now that I’ve gotten to feel like an intellectual by making some proclamations of doom, I want to throw out a tinfoil hat theory that actually combines the two previous versions. What’s fascinated me for years, and the show hasn’t re-visited, is the nature of Cinder’s parasite. Can Cinder talk to it? Will it begin gaining sentience? What’s relevant to Penny is what exactly this thing DOES. When it comes to it’s soul-power-absorbing function, we’ve never actually seen it’s full extent. The process with Amber was interrupted, with half the power just zipping over to Cinder after Amber expired. With Raven and Penny’s power, Cinder’s arm only got a little taste of them both, since both of their captures were unsuccessful. What if Cinder’s parasite can absorb more than raw power? Pinnochio is eventually swallowed by a monstrous beast. We were all sure it would be The Whale. But what if it’s Cinder?

I’ll be watching the finale in about 5 hours. The idea that I could be correct about something that takes everyone else off guard (Penny’s death) has an electric feeling, and I totally understand why people can get hung up on the stories they compose in their head. But I don’t want to start thinking any of MY ideas HAVE to come true for me to get joy from whatever happens to Penny or Volume 8. Regardless, reviewing character arcs that preceded wherever we are in the present is always worthwhile.

#reddit #RWBY #rwby volume 8 prediction #penny polendina #pietro polendina #cinder fall #james ironwood #Rooster Teeth

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lovewillthaw-j · 4 years

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(please unmute and watch till the end)

Focus on Frozen (1) score (3/?)

Hans theme/HANSORCERY

This is the third post in this series and it's on Hans' musical theme. Now I know Hans isn't popular to post on, and I don't like him either. Let's focus on the genius of Christophe Beck instead, shall we?

I mentioned in the last post that I made a huge jaw dropping discovery in the score. I'll get straight to it! In the 6th and final appearance of Hans' theme, Christophe Beck combined Hans theme and the Sorcery theme in a stroke of GENIUS! Watch till the end of the video and read point 6. I don't know if anyone else has written about this before, let me know. Henceforth I shall call that line of music Hansorcery.

Additionally, when Hans reveals his true intentions and sinks deeper and deeper into evildoing, Beck literally lowers the notes he uses for the theme, getting lower and lower by a half step each time. Read 4-6 for the details!

1. First meeting with Anna

This is the first time the theme appears, and it is sweet and fairy-tale-ish. After all, he is supposed to be Prince Charming, isn't he? There are 2 parts to this theme (and this will be important later) and I have called them A and B.

2. Glad I caught you

This is the lush, romantic waltz that plays as Anna and Hans dance. It does sound very nice, doesn't it? Like a classic fairy tale waltz.

3. Kiss me now!

Fast forward to Anna's reunion with Hans and she (shamelessly) asks to be kissed, stat! Here, part B plays 4 times first. Then, when Hans "tenderly" holds Anna's face and moves in for the (fake) kiss, we hear part A again.

4. True colors revealed

Oooh. The start of his descent into evil. Christophe Beck turns a cute romantic theme into a foreboding, dark theme. Again, part B precedes A. The last (and lowest) note of this appearance of the theme is a low D (or "Ray"). Keep that in mind as the lowest note is gonna get lower. BTW I'm always upset when I think of what he did to Anna in the library in front of Agnarr's portrait. How dare he!

5. More lies

Here, he puts on an Oscar-worthy fake display of sadness and lies through his teeth and usurps the throne. The theme is SO dark here, played by the very low strings of the cello and double bass. The lowest note sinks down by half a step to C# (or "Doh" sharp), signifying a further descent into evilness.

6. HANSORCERY

OMG. I literally had chills when I realized this. This scene is when Hans tells the greatest lie to Elsa, that she had killed Anna, to drive her mad and render her too distracted to notice his murderous act or to fight back. Seriously, how evil is that!!!! Grrrr you monster!!!

Some background: If you read my previous Sorcery theme post, you might have noticed that I missed out the theme's appearance in the track "Whiteout" (I was working fast and covering both movies and OFA, it was an honest mistake) . I think it was fortuitous that I did! When I next listened to Whiteout, I was puzzled why the Sorcery theme sounded different. To my shock I realized that it sounded like Hans theme, but not quite! Then the full impact of what Beck had done hit me like a ton of bricks! He had combined Hans and the Sorcery themes! You can see it in my picture where I show you which part is Hans theme and which part is Sorcery theme.

Do you get the full implication of this? Up till now, the Sorcery theme has only been associated with Elsa's magic doing bad things. Which she never intended to, she just didn't have control. But Hans' actions were 100% intentional. By meshing together the themes, Beck is telling us musically that Hans is the worst. His deceit is worse than Elsa's freezing the entire Arendelle. And, Hans is a "sorceror" too in successfully deceiving Anna, Elsa, the foreign dignitaries and the whole country!

Enough about Hans! Let's focus on what Beck has done. I'm literally WEEPING at the master stroke he has performed here. Like I said, my mind has already been blown by the scores, but this?

This is indescribable GENIUS.

The lowest note here is again a half step lower than the previous one. It is C (or "Doh"). Hans has sunk deeper to a new low. And as poor poor Elsa sinks to her knees, overwhelmed and probably suicidal, the part B of the theme plays as the snow storm stops.

You failed, Hans. You were no match for the TRUE LOVE between Anna and Elsa. There was never any competition from you.

Christophe Beck - Sir, I salute you!

#frozen #disney frozen #christophe beck #disney

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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years

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Happy Holidays - BTS Style

4. “It’s not much, but it’s ours.”

11. “Ok, you take aisles 5-9, I’ll tackle anyone who gets in your way.”

(Jungkook are Minsuh are soulmates from my series 7 Secrets)

Narrowly avoiding a stray ping pong ball, Minsuh shoots Seohyun a glare.

“Sorry,” Seohyun mumbles a bit sheepishly, setting up again. “I’ve really got to practice though. Jin’s really good at this.”

Rolling her shoulders, Minsuh grins at her soul sister. “It’ll be the death of you if he wins, won’t it?”

Seohyun shudders. “Don’t say such things.”

The sound of footsteps bounding down the stairs alerts the two girls to their soulmates’ presence. Within a few seconds Jungkook appears, grinning widely when he sees his soulmate’s predicament.

The second that Yoongi enters the room he groans loudly.

“Just pretend you didn’t see me, ok? If I play one more game of ping pong I’ll-”

“You don’t want to play with me?” Seohyun gives Yoongi the biggest puppy eyes she can manage.

Jungkook snickers at Minsuh’s side. “He can’t say no to her.”

Minsuh gives him an incredulous look, nudging his side. “You can’t say no to me either!”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook levels a glare at her. “Try me.”

“Ok. Kook, can we go shopping tonight?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak but stops. “I...are you sure that’s really what you want to do?”

“Yep.”

Sighing, he runs his hands through his hair before turning to go back upstairs. “Let’s go then.”

Giving a triumphant shout, Minsuh takes off after him. “See! You can’t say no!”

“Whatever,” Jungkook grumbles ahead of her. “You played dirty though. No nicknames from now on, ok?”

“Ok Guk.”

About twenty minutes later finds the two of them entering a large department store, the both of them bundled up with the most bland clothes they could find.

“You really think nobody will recognize you?” Minsuh asks, fiddling with her earmuffs and looking absolutely terrified. Taking her hands in his so as to safe the earmuffs from falling apart, Jungkook gives his soulmate a winning smile.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan. We’ll have to be quick, but you have sharp eyes. You remember exactly what it is that we’re looking for?”

Minsuh gives a firm nod. “Yep. Small dinosaurs with backpacks.”

“Don’t forget, they’re highlighter Dinos.”

Snorting at his serious expression, Minsuh rolls her eyes. “I really don’t understand why-”

Jungkook stops her by squishing her cheeks together. “Min, just trust me. Have I ever let you down before?”

“You’re taking this way too seriously.”

“Answer the question.”

“No, never. In all our long time of knowing each other, I don’t think so.”

“Good,” Jungkook bobs his head before turning and dragging Minsuh behind him like a lost puppy. “Ok, you take aisles 5-9, I’ll tackle anyone who gets in your way.”

“What are you-”

“Go go go!” Jungkook waves his soulmate on and Minsuh, for all her annoyance, jumps into action with a gleeful shriek.

Doing the best speedwell they can manage, Minsuh keeps her head down even as her eyes rove over the shelves of supplies. They make it through aisles five and six, but have to pause for a while when they get to aisle 7 because they find a tape dispenser in the shape of an otter.

“Cuuuute,” the two of them coo out at the same time. All it takes is single shared glance before Jungkook grabs it.

“We have to get this now.”

“Obviously.”

It’s at the end of that aisle that they find the dino highlighters, and they do indeed have backpacks on. Minsuh grabs a handful of them.

“Where’s the checkout?” She asks.

“This way,” Jungkook grabs Minsuh’s free hand and they head straight toward the front of the store. When Jungkook comes to a sudden stop, Minsuh narrowly avoids running straight into him. Hissing, she jabs him with a highlighter before seeing what it was that stopped him in his tracks.

The cashier is a girl probably around Minsuh’s age, wearing a Shooky headband.

“Oh, you are so dead Jeon Jungkook.” Minsuh mutters before shoving her soulmate forward.

“W-what? What are you doing? Shouldn’t we go to a different line?” Jungkook is looking about frantically, but Minsuh puts her back into it and successfully pushes him forward a few steps.

“This was your idea in the first place, now deal with the consequences!” Minsuh hisses before handing him the highlighters. “Keys.”

“Have you been working out?” Jungkook asks even as he pouts and hands the keys over.

“Why?”

“You just manhandled me!” Jungkook exclaims, drawing the attention of a few people.

“Oh, that’s the ping pong practices Seohyun has been putting me through.” Winking up at him and watching as Jungkook turns an impressive shade of red, Minsuh backs away. “I’ll be waiting out in the car, should I send the bodyguards in?”

“No, I think I’ll be fine with just the one.”

Right, Minsuh forgets that there’s always at least one bodyguard always hovering nearby. With a short wave, she heads back out to the car, but not before she hears the unmistakable squeal of joy from the cashier.

Instead of driving straight back to the neighborhood, Jungkook makes a stop at the company.

“I need to show you something,” is all the explanation he provides before hopping out of the car.

Leading Minsuh inside the building, they head straight for the elevator and Jungkook hits the button for the top floor.

Wiggling her eyebrows, Minsuh leans into her soulmate. “What’s on the top floor?”

“Just something I thought you might like.”

“Guk it’s not Christmas yet.”

Shrugging, Jungkook gives Minsuh a quick peck on the top of the head, the both of them turning a little red. “Who said it had to be Christmas for me to give you anything?”

The elevator doors open wide and they set off again, Jungkook leading Minsuh to the middle of the hallway before instructing her to close her eyes.

“Ok, your eyes are closed?”

“Mhm.”

“Just take a couple of steps...” taking her elbow, Jungkook gently leads Minsuh into the room he just opened. “And...open.”

Minsuh opens her eyes only to have them grow wide. A large desk sits in the middle of the room, a two comfy swivel chairs behind it. A small bonsai sits in the middle of the desk, which faces a whiteboard.

There’s a microwave with a huge supply of popcorn and ramen sitting beside it, a couple of blankets, and a plethora of office supplies on the back table.

Setting up the finishing touches, Jungkook drops the highlighters in a jar filled with pens and pencils, setting the tape dispenser beside it. Turning to look back at his soulmate, he twists with his hands.

“Ever since we went public, I know you haven’t been able to go to the library to study anymore. Seohyun told me how you had to do everything in the kitchen at your apartment, which I know you’ll say it’s fine, but it’s not.” Jungkook opens up a closet at the back of the room. “I got to convert this room into a study area, just for us. We’re both busy, we’re both trying to get through university...I thought it would be nice to just have a space for the two of us to hole up and study.”

Minsuh doesn’t know what to say, which Jungkook takes as a sign for him to keep talking. Pushing his hair out of his face, he continues.

“I’m really sorry that you can’t be a normal college student anymore. I know this might not make up for that, this isn’t me trying to fix everything. But I just thought it might help, you know? And this way we can both study and help each other, I can just come right up here to study after work...look, this closet, I was thinking maybe you could put your other school supplies here, you know? Like that one class you’re taking, what’s the name of it-”

“Guk.”

“O-oh, what?”

“I...thank you. I love it.”

“You do?”

Striding forward, the couple meets halfway. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Minsuh gives her soulmate a teary smile. “Yeah, I really do. I’ll be here all the time. It’s perfect.”

“Well, you know.” Jungkook has the ghost of a smile as he realizes that he did well. “It’s not much, but it’s ours.”

“Jungkook would you just kiss me already?”

“Is this another test where you tell me that I can’t ever say no to you?”

Rolling her eyes, Minsuh gets up on her tippy toes and ghosts her lips over his. “Do I need to ask again?”

Releasing a breathy laugh, Jungkook proves to her that no, Minsuh never needs to ask twice.

Make a BTS holiday request!

@eusticenatalie

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totallypathet · 5 years

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Episode Three

First of all...what the fuck was that challenge. And what the fuck was the logic to judging it?! I spent so much of this episode just being confused. I think it would have been so much better if they were allowed to come up with their own ideas and characters, instead of having this really narrow space to work in; that was bizarre to me. Like Just Jan could have done a really delusional, high energy character who was the worst singer in the world; that would have been funny! Instead they stuck them with these bizarre storylines that made no sense, and had very little humour in them. Idk whose choice that was but it was a choice. Anyway, let's get into the rundown!

1. Aiden Zhane

I am not living for Aiden at all. Her attitude in both episodes has let a lot to be desired for me. And also, that runway? What was that? I could buy that dress on Asos, glue some bows to it and have that look. The concept was cool, the bows falling on her? Cool idea. But if you're going to do that then you need to Do It, yknow? Like it would have been cool if she'd had a huge wig completely made of bows. Or if she'd had an umbrella and made it look like it was raining bows, or something, that could have been really cool! It could have been amazing and she took a really easy way out. Disappointing. And her performance was dull. She deserved to be in the bottom more than Nicky Doll.

The only thing I will say for Aiden in this episode is the way Brita and Redacted behaved towards her was really uncool. They did that whole "you didnt lead us at all", and then told her that they carried her? You know that if she had led them they would have totally thrown her under the bus and said "well we do this professionally and we wanted to do this, but she was the leader and she made us do that". It was totally a damned if you, damned if you don't; and that was really unfair.

2. Brita

Guys, I am Bored of Brita. I am over it, and I am underwhelmed. I haven't seen anything from her that I've enjoyed! Her looks have been dull, she's not that funny, and I dont like the way she behaves (like I said with Aiden). She wont be next to go home, but hopefully she wont be long.

3. Crystal Methyd

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE CRYSTAL METHYD! I'm so sick of them going "oh her makeup is always the same", when it has been different each time!! She has a style and a brand, but it's not the same face!! Aiden Zhane does the same fucking face, none of them have picked that out! Loads of queens come in and they only have one face! Not mentioning any names Silky Nutmeg Ganache and Roxxxy Andrews. They got away with it because they were beauty mugs and that's the type of drag this show is biased towards. Crystal Methyd is an artist, let her do herself! That runway look was ugly though. Having said all that. Her face was gorgeous, I loved her makeup, I just thought that look wasnt very her! It didn't suit her somehow, it wasn't right. But she tried really hard during the improv, and I think she did a passable job! She honestly should have been safe, fight me. I just really hope she doesn't change herself to please the judges bc she has such a great vision and point of view, and I don't want her to lose sight of how great she is.

4. Dahlia Sin

Dahlia, Dahlia, Dahlia. Speaking of being underwhelmed, am I right? I had such high hopes for Dahlia, but this week she just didn't pull anything out. I personally think the fruit sketch was really funny, but it would have been exactly the same if Dahlia hadn't been in the group. She was so focused on being ~sexy~ (which is tough in a broccoli costume), that she forgot about everything else. Plus her bows and buttons look was just...odd. from the neck up it had this very avant garde, couture feel, but the outfit itself just looked unfinished. And then to have this weird arse peekaboo thing? Really weird choice. She deserved to be in the bottom and, after that lip sync, she deserved to go home.

I have seen a lot of posts about Dahlia "storming out", and I genuinely don't understand what they're talking about? Like, okay, she didn't say anything before she walked off, does that really constitute storming off? If she'd walked off while Ru was still talking, or if she'd yelled/screamed/sworn, then sure, maybe - but from what I saw she was just upset and wanted to leave as fast as possible. Idk, also they haven't released Untucked on the UK Netflix, so maybe there was more I didnt see.

5. Gigi Goode

I live for Gigi so much. I mean come on! Her character in the improv was passed out half the time and still had presence! She's so funny, and she's not afraid to let loose and get ugly. I think she did a good job in the improv, especially for someone without all that much experience, and her look on the runway was incredible. Solid 8/10 for Gigi this week.

6. Heidi N Closet

Heidi was robbed. I bought everything Heidi was selling this week. I bought it, I didn't stream it, I didn't rent it from the Netflix, I bought it. She was so funny during the challenge; the flipper? She spat out? Iconic. She had me dying the whole time, her, Jackie Cox and Gigi Goode should have their own series, I'd watch the hell out of it. Then she came bouncing down the runway as glitter Pinnochio, and she told that story about when she was at school and I loved every second! Shes so charming, and loveable, and relatable, and Jaida Essence Hall must have been gagged when she was top 2. She was robbed, she should have won, and she should keep her name! That whole thing with "the mouth has to change shape and it's not satisfying to say"? Bullshit, utter bullshit bitch. Heidi N Closet 4lyf.

7. Jackie Cox

Jackie made me so happy this week! Their whole group was hilarious, but Jackie doing the bad ventriloquist act just sent me, I loved it. And she just seems like the sweetest person as well! Her runway look was gorgeous, I loved the reference, her makeup was absolutely stunning, Jackie Cox is seriously the whole package. Her and Heidi should have been top 2 together.

8. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida came in looking like a pageant queen, but she seriously flexed her comedy muscles this week! Her "bad apple" was hilarious, and she really committed to it! She was a firm leader in the group, but she was a good team player in the scene, she let everyone else have their moment too, and it was a good performance! I was a little bit disappointed that her runway look was very very similar to her spring mini challenge look from last week, but it was still a good look, and honestly I probably wouldnt have noticed if it hadn't been one episode after the other. She has shown a lot of diversity already, I think she just set the bar so high last week that I was really expecting something incredible, and I got something that was "just" good instead. She's still one to beat at the moment!

9. Jan

Jan made me so proud this week!! She was really funny in the skit, she had so much energy and enthusiasm, I loved it! Her jokes were funny, she picked a solid character and played it well, and can we talk about the runway though??? I really expected her to come out in something cute, because her personality is so bubbly and instead she gave me horror high fashion, monster couture and she Sold. Every. Second. It was a total transformation from the challenge to the runway and that, at the heart of it, is what I love about drag; that transformation aspect is just art to me. For me, Jan has it all. She definitely should have been top 3 this week. I think she's served the best runways so far, and I cannot wait to see what she does next week.

10. Nicky Doll

Okay, you guys know I love Nicky Doll. This week was not a good week for her. I appreciate that improv must be so hard in your second language, but I think she suffered a little bit from Dahlia Syndrome: she was so focused on staying pretty that she didn't really deliver anything. I kind of wish her character had literally just been French and spoke no English - part of the joke could have been that language barrier and Crystal/Window not understanding a word she said and her getting more and more frustrated about it. That could have been really funny. Also, her runway look...I know where she was going with it, it was a cool concept, and it was executed okay, there was just something missing, you know? It felt a little bit rushed, and again there was this real focus on being ~pretty~. Maybe if she'd looked a little more Cinderella ish, like her makeup wasn't perfect, and her hair was tied up like she was actually sewing, it would have sold me a little more character. I'm not sure, everything was just a little off for me this week, but I still think she's fierce af, and we all stumble sometimes. I'm looking forward to seeing her get back on her feet next week!

11. Rock M Sakura

Rock M was picked last for the challenge, I could not believe it. She deserved better than that, I was shook. She definitely picked the right group though, she was really funny as the Orange! She looked like she was having fun, and that's what I love about Rock M, is that I have fun watching her have fun. Her jokes were great, she matched Jan's energy, and I think she did a good job. I loved her runway look as well, the Alice in Wonderland concept was great, and I love that she kept the dress pretty simple so that the focus was on her hair and makeup! Her makeup was gorgeous, and the detail of the buttons on her face was stunning! It was a great concept, well executed, this week was a great week for Rock M, and I'm going to be furious if she gets picked last again.

12. Widow Von Du

Widow is getting The Edit. The edit that queens of colour who are talented get, where they paint them as bitchy, or loud, or as stepping on the other girls' toes; so that the audience isn't too pussed off when they get eliminated. Widow is exceedingly talented, and funny, and filled with personality. She also serves looks and delivers incredible performances. I will not let this edit take that away from her. She did great this week. She delivered everything I ordered in the challenge and more, she completely transformed for the runway, and she sold me a great presentation. Widow is definitely one to beat.

#rpdr spoilers #rpdr12 spoilers #rpdr12 #season 12 #drag race season 12 #aiden zhane #Brita #crystal methyd #dahlia sin #gigi goode #heidi n closet #jackie cox #jaida essence hall #jan sport #just jan #nicky doll #rock m sakura #widow von du

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ghost-in-the-stalls · 3 years

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Neil Josten's Playlist Part 5 - Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety here

Not as much to say about these three here - they each kind of speak for themselves I think.

Nicky

18. Relief - Chris Garneau

Of all the foxes, Nicky shows Neil more music than anyone else. Typically, though, it’s music Neil isn’t super into. Nicky knows Neil isn’t into most of the stuff he shows him, but Neil will still sit and listen to it with him if he is asked and isn’t busy, so Nicky keeps doing it anyway. I can imagine Chris Garneau being one of Nicky’s favorite artists, but one he keeps close to his heart. Several of his songs just hit me like they’re talking about the trauma and just general impact of growing up queer and topics like that, and I feel like it’s stuff that would really hit Nicky.

So Nicky listens to Chris Garneau (though he never was able to listen to Halloween the same again after what happened with Drake), but he doesn’t show Neil any of the songs intentionally. But one day Neil gets out of a class early and walks in on Nicky playing this one. He opens up to Neil about how much this music means to him, and Neil decides he likes the song. He keeps it.

33. Rocket Man - Elton John

Nicky loves Elton John. It's one of the artists he usually blasts on Sunday mornings in Columbia when they're all fighting hangovers. One morning he played this one and even got Aaron and Kevin singing along a bit (they were both still a bit drunk). Neil thinks back on that day and remembers it as a good one. Andrew looks back and remembers it as one of the more annoying ones.

60. Your Song - Elton John

Neil caught Nicky quietly singing this to Erik over video chat one morning in Columbia. For as boisterous and unapologetic as Nicky is (and for as much as he's always trying to get Neil and Andrew to act more like a "normal" couple with PDA and shit) it was a very vulnerable and private moment that Neil was a bit surprised by. He didn't walk in or make himself known, but he added the song to his playlist (and sometimes plays it on the car ride back from Columbia weekends for Nicky when he knows he's missing Erik).

Aaron

43. Up the Wolves - The Mountain Goats

Aaron has a lot of anger for someone who is only 5 feet tall. Neil may find him obnoxious as hell, and may deeply resent the way he holds that anger against Andrew. But I personally feel that an intrinsic and necessary step in repairing Aaron and Andrew's relationship comes with some sort of acknowledgement from Andrew that - regardless of what Tilda deserved, and regardless of what series of events unfolded upon her death - he hurt Aaron with what he did. He made a decision that Aaron did not ask him to make, nor did he want him to do it. And Aaron has every right to hold it against him. He doesn't need to regret doing it, but he needs to understand that doing it hurt Aaron deeply. I think it takes a long time for Andrew to reach this point, and when he does I don't think Neil really gets it at first.

However, I think once Neil has accepted and understood it as much as he can (he still struggles with his own mommy issues, okay?) he begins to understand Aaron much more. This song is a bit of an enigma in a lot of ways; I've never met someone who really fully gets what it's about exactly. Even the artists themselves have vague and changeable understandings of where it came from. But the clear theme of the song is anger and resentment, and carrying forward with those feelings. Maybe you'll let them go, maybe you'll act on them. Maybe you'll just keep feeling them for a while. Who knows when the hurt will go away? You're justified in your anger, but it doesn't make it any nicer to feel. Neil doesn't fully understand Aaron, but he starts to understand how he feels, at least.

62. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service

Listen. Neil doesn't willingly think of Aaron when he hears this song. It's a very nice song and he won't let that bastard ruin it for him.

Did he have a phase where he listened to it a lot to try and get himself to not associate it with Aaron? Absolutely. Did it work? Absolutely not.

In all seriousness, there are only a few songs that make Neil think of Aaron and this is one of them SOLELY because Aaron drunkenly mentioned it was his and Katelyn's song when it came on the radio one time. Something about hearing that and then listening to the sound felt very real and human to Neil. It helps remind him that Aaron does have feelings, actually, and does have it in him to care about other people. These are good things to keep in mind when he's trying really hard not to punch Aaron in the face for Andrew's sake.

Also it has a really nice sound. So he has begrudgingly added it to his playlist and he listens to it spitefully.

64. Wake Me Up - Avicii

Neil wouldn't believe Aaron listened to music this carefree and positive if he didn't witness it himself. He learns a bit more about Aaron every day they interact (against his will of course) and this is another song that helps him understand Aaron a bit better.

He has dreams and goals and he really wants to be happy. He wants to enjoy life. And it's really fucking hard to do that for anyone in their group. Neil seeing Aaron actually hold some amount of passion or desire for something better gives him a better view of the guy. Neil guesses everyone must need some amount of optimism once in a while.

Kevin

4. Amsterdam - Guster

So obviously Neil has never been through a breakup (well I actually hc that he and Andrew almost broke up after Andrew graduated, but they pulled their asses together and that’s a post for another time). But the thing is that Kevin absolutely has! And we all know how Kevin wallows when he’s upset. And Kevin Day is a Guster fan. You cannot take that away from me. So Kevin goes through a breakup and is blasting Guster in the dorm like no one else lives there.

Now Neil is pretty observant and analytical. I mean he had to be for years, so it’s kind of just in his nature now. Most breakup songs he hears are louder and angrier and predictable to him. Not in a bad way, but he expects that they’ll pretty much usually be either angry or sad in style, neither of which he tends to be very fond of. So he heard this one and it’s more upbeat tune without being overly loud or aggressive and I think that really intrigued him. It gets stuck in your head, but it’s the kind of breakup song that - even if you are going through a breakup - leaves you just feeling pretty good! Even if it is in a bitter way. So Neil’s brain just sort of latched onto this one and kept it close. It helps that it reminds him of Kevin in a way that is so intrinsically HUMAN. He can try to be an exy player before a person all he wants, but even Kevin experiences heartbreak and frustration. He's a whole person, too - just like Neil.

40. Still - Ben Folds

Yes, Nicky and Matt made him watch Over the Hedge. Yes, that is where he found this song. Yes, it still kind of makes him think about the sad turtle. Don't tell anyone.

Seriously, though, Neil latched onto this song initially for the smooth, sad sound. Then he listened to the lyrics. It really hits him once he's captain and he suddenly has all these added responsibilities piled onto him. He now has to appear respectable and put-together, and he doesn't have room for mistakes. It doesn't help that Kevin is reminding him of their deal with the Moriyamas at literally every turn, as if Neil doesn't KNOW the stakes and the pressure on him at any given moment.

But, oh, Kevin. Neil can roll with his punches with ease because, really now. Kevin is more terrified than he ever lets on anymore. "No room for weakness", but he hits himself with that reminder before taking it to Neil. He's stubborn and frustrating, and he can be downright cruel and unreasonable. But he's hurting himself with his scathing remarks long before they leave his lips to attack anyone else. Neil thinks about this, and he doesn't have it in him to be quite as angry anymore. He sees Kevin, and he know Kevin sees him too. He just doesn't know how else to provide support, and he isn't really in a good spot to be supporting anyone else at the moment anyway. Neil can only hope that, with time, Kevin can let himself feel safe the way Neil is learning to.

56. Dance Monkey - Tones and I

Neil heard this song and applied it immediately to Kevin. He's seen first hand now how much work it is for Kevin to maintain his image and career the way he does while balancing all the baggage that comes with it. The people in the audience who root for him the strongest are the same ones who rooted for Riko and the Ravens a while back. They're the same ones who thought he lost a brother the day his abuser died, who thought joining the foxes would be a huge gut punch to his career.

There's a lot that's expected of Kevin, and there's a lot of trauma he carries that people seem to think are memories he looks back on fondly. And that's a facade he has to keep up.

Neil sees this and he knows how hard it is for Kevin. He knows.

#aftg #my writing #neil josten #kevin day #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 4 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: something something strictly rewrite something something pls love me something something love u bye. in all seriousness thank u for reading and bearing with me in amongst this clusterfuck…next chapter is the last of the rewrites and so a new one coming ur way within the next week!

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

3rd October 2020

Vanessa takes a deep, nervous breath and looks to the ceiling. The disco ball hangs high from it and creates tiny little square reflections, chunks of glitter against the light rigging. The lights themselves are purple and blue, matching those that snake along the balcony and up the stairs and arch over the huge projection of the show’s title card at the other end of the room. There’s another projection, a yellow one that dances across the shiny lacquered ballroom floor as if it’s practising too. The judges’ table is silver and glittering and intimidating to Vanessa’s right, despite the fact that none of the judges are even sitting at it yet. The band and singers are all set up underneath the huge arch of the stairs that Vanessa has practised walking down with Brooke and the other girls and knows she’ll be walking down again in just a few hours’ time.

“Right, Brooke and Vanessa, please. You’re up!”

A little “woo!” goes up from the couples assembled in the dark shadows of the empty studio. Peppermint and Shea are leaning with their backs against a pillar, their eyes supportive but analytical. Crystal and Gigi are sitting in some of the chairs at the far back row, clapping loudly with each new routine they manage to see and whispering to each other secretively between dances. Yvie and Scarlet are both in the front row off to one side, as Jaida and Plastique are off getting some last tweaks done to their costumes. They don’t seem to mind that their partners are away and are talking excitedly to each other, Yvie every so often making Scarlet laugh so hard that she reaches out and grabs her arm or knee or hand. And Monet and Monique are on the chairs behind Vanessa and Brooke, currently screeching their heads off and pushing them forward onto the dancefloor.

It’s Saturday, the day of their first show. It’s half past four and the sky had just been starting to take on that threateningly Autumnal look halfway between grey and navy when Vanessa had arrived at Elstree studios with Akeria, her friend having to listen to her excited babbling at the thought of getting to actually participate in the competition for the first time. Vanessa hadn’t stopped talking since- not when she’d greeted all the dancers and celebrities with similar excitement, not when she’d given all the hair and makeup artists a hug and thanked them preemptively, and not when she’d been non-stop texting Brooke. To be fair, her partner had started it, so excited was she since rehearsal that morning that she’d texted her practically every available moment since. When Vanessa had finally seen her at the studios they had squealed and joined hands and jumped excitedly on the spot in anticipation of seeing their costumes, trying them on, getting to dress-rehearse and experience their first live show together. So Vanessa has been chatting excitedly the entire day.

The only point where she has fallen quiet is when she had seen Brooke in her dress for the first time.

It’s light blue with satin straps that criss-cross at the back, a bodice that is studded with dimantés, and a long skirt with ostrich feathers along the hem. It’s not the most gorgeous dress in the world but Vanessa knows it’s going to look incredible during the routine, and besides, Brooke could wear a bin bag and still look effortlessly beautiful. Brooke had looked bashfully to the floor as she emerged from her dressing room in the dress, her face ever-so-slightly red.

“It’s hideous,” she’d whispered to Vanessa, out of earshot of the costume girls who Brooke hadn’t wanted to offend. Vanessa, without knowing what had possessed her, had put her hand on Brooke’s upper arm and given it a squeeze.

“Shut up. You look stunning,” she’d smiled reassuringly at her, and the flash of gratitude in Brooke’s eyes had been all Vanessa had needed in return.

She’s in her dress now and Vanessa’s in hers too, the exact same but a royal blue instead of the sky-blue shade of Brooke’s. Vanessa’s stomach is fizzing at the thought of them both dancing in full costume, makeup and hair with an audience watching them as well.

The dress rehearsal doesn’t always run in the running order of the show and today is one of those days. Brooke and Vanessa have had to wait for some of the other couples to run their routine through whereas this evening they’re up first. They’re the ones kicking off the whole show, and Vanessa would be lying if she said she isn’t nervous. They have practised as much as they can, they can do the routine well. Now all they have to do is show the other couples what they’re up against. It’s hard, though, for Vanessa to put everything she’s seen out of her mind and focus on her own dance with Brooke. Jaida and Yvie have just finished their Jive, huge smiles on both their faces as they hit every single beat throughout, the moves coming to Yvie effortlessly as if it’s a partnership of two professionals. Before that, Jan and Jackie rehearsed their Cha Cha Cha which contained so much tension and chemistry that Vanessa became convinced that their lips were going to meet at some point in the routine.

“How you feelin’?” Vanessa whispers to Brooke as they move onto the ballroom floor. The band swap around and tune up and the singers glug water behind them. Brooke looks the most nervous Vanessa has ever seen her.

“I’m fine,” Brooke lies. Her eyes dart around in a panic, wide and white. It unsettles Vanessa so she takes Brooke’s hand, rubs her thumb over her knuckles comfortingly.

“Hey. You don’t need to be nervous,” she reassures her, despite the fact she’s swallowing down her own nerves as she speaks. “You’ve got me. It’s going to be okay.”

Brooke takes a deep breath, her lips forming a tiny “o” as she breathes out. She manages to shoot a smile Vanessa’s way, and Vanessa is slightly more at ease.

“Ready to go?” she hears a producer shout.

“Yeah!” she shouts over, as Brooke Lynn drops her hand to give the producer a thumbs up. They sit in the two chairs that form part of the beginning of their routine, there is a click of drumsticks, and a silence falls across the studio. Two notes from a trumpet, the shuffle of papers on a music stand. Vanessa’s throat is so dry. Launch show feels like a walk in the park compared to this.

There’s a one…two…one-two-three-four click from the drumsticks, the music begins, and the pair of them are off. Straight away, Vanessa can tell something isn’t right. Brooke is too in her head and it shows. When they move into hold she can feel Brooke’s hand shaking, feel her pulse through the hand on her back so fast and heavy that Vanessa wants to make eye contact with her, but she can’t- it’s dress rehearsal, and she needs to be a professional. She can feel Brooke’s feet opposite her, though, and she just knows they’re not doing what they’re meant to be doing. Brooke is trying to keep up and failing, and it’s so hard for Vanessa to push through and keep dancing when she knows it’s going so wrong. They reach their bit on the steps and Brooke stumbles, the steps all coming at the wrong time and in the wrong direction. The smile is still plastered to Vanessa’s face even though she wants to stop right there, cut the band off and just talk to Brooke, calm her down and reassure her. There’s a point in the middle where she finally gets to meet Brooke’s eyes and she tries her hardest to make them comforting and gentle in the few seconds they’re facing each other. It hurts Vanessa to see Brooke’s own full of resignation and disappointment. She manages to pick things up a little near the end of the dance but there are still a few mis-steps and blunders, and by the time it’s over and the others are clapping and cheering Vanessa can already see the hurt in Brooke’s fake smile and the slump of her shoulders. She takes her by the hand, squeezes it urgently.

“It’s just the dress run, okay?” she murmurs to her, panicking as she sees what could be tears welling up in Brooke’s eyes. “You can do this, baby. You know this.”

Brooke nods harshly, blinks once, twice, three times, and the tears- if they were ever there to begin with- vanish. Vanessa wonders whether or not to hug her and then allows her heart to take over. She pulls her in, reaching up to loop her arms around her neck and burying her face against her chest. As Brooke squeezes her waist, she decides that it was a good decision.

Of course the hug can’t last forever but their hands are joined as they leave the dancefloor and return to their seats. Nobody from costume comes over to make adjustments so they can watch some more couples, not that Vanessa particularly wants to. Monique and Monet are still in their chairs. Vanessa is reluctant to face her friend but a tap on her shoulder prompts her to turn around anyway.

“Hey,” Monique hisses, and as Vanessa turns around Brooke does too. Monique’s smile is caring and comforting as she addresses them both. “Don’t worry. First dress run is always off-puttin’, it’s a new environment and the lights are down and the band’s so different to a track. You’ll be great tonight.”

Vanessa is thankful for her words as they seem to put Brooke at ease a little more. She thanks Monique and, wanting to move the spotlight off the pair of them, asks Monet how she’s feeling.

“Ready! Excited! We’re gonna wipe the floor with all you bitches,” she teases playfully. Monique laughs supportively beside her and Vanessa wants to roll her eyes at how much of a ridiculously obvious lovesick puppy her friend is.

“Well, it won’t be hard after what just happened there,” Brooke jokes, her tone not dissimilar to Eeyore’s. Vanessa raises her eyebrows at her and points a finger in her face, channels a bit of her Abuela’s tough love.

“Hey! I’m not letting you talk like that, you’re amazing. We’re gonna be flawless tonight. Just you wait.”

She punctuates her telling-off with a tap to Brooke’s nose, which finally makes her crack a proper smile. A producer shouts over for Monique and Monet, and Vanessa and Brooke clap for them and wish them luck as they take to the stage in matching little glittery playsuits, assembling themselves in their starting positions. Vanessa takes the opportunity to talk to Brooke properly now they’re alone.

“What happened?” she asks. Brooke lets out a heavy sigh.

“Just like Monique said. It’s all so different to the studios and everything just…I don’t know…threw me off, I guess,” she mutters, picking at a bit of feather. Vanessa takes her fidgeting hand and holds it gently between both of hers. The gesture seems to surprise Brooke, and all of a sudden their eyes meet, green opposite brown.

“Brooke Lynn, listen to me. I want you to know this. You can do this fucking dance.”

“I know I can!” Brooke whines, exasperated. Her expression is pained and pouting. “That’s what fucks me off about the whole thing. We’ve done it literally perfectly before. I feel like the only time I was worse than when I just did that dance was the day we started learning it.”

“Well, that’s good! I’m glad you know that,” Vanessa says firmly, enthused by Brooke’s determination. “So. What’s our game plan for tonight?”

“Do it perfectly again,” Brooke says instantly, and Vanessa squeezes her hand between the both of hers. She can’t stop the grin that creeps onto her face at Brooke’s decisive tone.

“Let’s do that, then.”

Brooke’s returning her smile and hasn’t taken back her hand and the world seems right again.

Monet and Monique’s Cha Cha Cha is the best they’ve seen so far- granted it’s the only one they’ve seen so far, but it’s good. Monique’s choreography is funny and clever and as they dance the pair tell the story of a backing singer (Monet) upstaging the star (Monique). Despite the fun they’re having the pair of them manage to only make a couple of mistakes, and Vanessa is cheering for them at the end. Courtney and Blair are next, and God, Phi Phi had been right when she’d said they had a lot of work to do. Blair plods her way through their Tango and visibly shows the mistakes she makes on her face, but Vixen still claps and cheers once they’re done as if she’s just witnessed a piece of modern art. Their performance seems to cheer Brooke up significantly, and Vanessa can practically read her mind- at least we won’t be as bad as that. As if Brooke’s able to read hers, she leans down and gives Vanessa a smug grin which makes her heart skip a beat.

They don’t stay to watch the rest of the couples. Instead they practise as much as they can in Brooke’s dressing room, which embarrassingly makes Vanessa nervous to even be in. Brooke’s all business, though, and they mark as much as they can of the dance in the space that they have.

They do it perfectly all three times.

Hair and makeup’s waiting for them, though, so they eventually relent and join the other couples who are all assembled in the huge room either getting combs and brushes swept through their hair, sponges dabbing at their face, or sitting and chatting. The pair of them are out of breath after their impromptu rehearsal, and when they enter the room a whoop goes up from Willam, who’s sat beside Courtney. Come to think of it, they both seem to be joined at the hip despite not being partnered and it’s as if the two of them are salt and pepper shakers, never one without the other.

“Oh! Strictly curse! Strictly curse! Dressing-room fucking!” she cries out, eliciting a laugh from half the room to Vanessa’s embarrassment. Before either of them can defend themselves, Phi Phi cuts in from her position in the hairdresser’s chair.

“They were probably rehearsing. Which is what we should be doing after that fuck-up of a dress run.”

Vanessa’s intrigued by the mention of how their dance went, but instead she ignores the comment and nods her head gratefully. Brooke replies, and Vanessa doesn’t miss the blush that’s crept onto her face. “Yeah, post-rehearsal sweats, not post-sex sweats. Sorry, Willam.”

Willam’s undeterred, and she shrugs lightly as she chomps on a cereal bar. “Give it time. I’ve never been wrong yet. I gotta sixth sense for this kinda shit, y’know.”

“Ooh, how come?” Courtney asks, crossing her legs and batting her lashes Willam’s way. Willam immediately swivels away from Vanessa and Brooke to give Courtney all of her attention, and Vanessa rolls her eyes long-sufferingly at her partner.

“Strictly curse, Jesus. As if,” Vanessa laughs, but it comes out more bitter than she’d wanted it to. There are still memories she associates with that phrase, she can’t help them, and even though time has passed she’s still got scars that are slowly healing.

Brooke gives a snort beside her, but Vanessa sees the way she doesn’t smile with her eyes, the way she looks almost wounded. Is Brooke…disappointed? Vanessa scrambles to follow up her comment.

“I mean, you know, some good comes out of it all the time. Obviously like Shea with Sasha…I just think…”

“It’s not something you’d ever fall victim to,” Brooke nods slowly, understandingly. Vanessa shakes her head.

“No, no, that’s not it at all! Like if I developed a connection to someone on the show like that, then of course!” she explains quickly. All at once she sees a small twinkle appear in Brooke’s eye, and it sends a spark of electricity up her spine. She feels she has to justify her earlier remark and she swallows before deliberately forcing her tone to be light. “It’s just, you know…obviously after what happened last year.”

Brooke makes a face as if someone’s just dropped a very heavy object on her foot. “Right. Right. Of course. Fuck, sorry, of course you have every right to hate people talking about it so much.”

Vanessa gives a soft laugh. It still hurts and the humiliation might never dissipate but she tilts her head and smiles at Brooke. “Don’t worry. It’s fine.”

They drop the topic, chat about the show instead and Vanessa explains to her how it’ll all work. The pros will do their group number first (Vanessa will change into her costume for that later, a strappy silver leotard with a fringed skirt that hangs low on her waist), which the dancers have been rehearsing all week. Then the judges come out and sit at their table and do a bit of chit-chat with Michelle. Then each of the couples come down the famous stairs and are introduced, and after that the show kicks off. With them. They are opening the whole show, Vanessa’s brain reminds her, and her stomach does a somersault. While they chat a couple of the other girls join in. Scarlet sits herself down in a free chair opposite them and chips in in between bites of mango, and Yvie pipes up every so often from her position in the makeup chair.

“Are the judges really terrifying?” Scarlet asks nervously, biting down hard on a piece of fruit. Vanessa shrugs, pulls a face.

“I mean, I wouldn’t know really. Never competed before, remember?”

Vixen pipes up from her place in the hairstylist’s chair. “Bianca can be a bitch but she’s alright when she ain’t behind the judge’s table. I think half of it is just her playing into the panto villain stereotype. Kennedy is just happy to be there, she always gives fair scores. Laganja is on a different planet, she’s hilarious. Always marks high. Shangie is lovely but you know she undermarks half the time and plays favourites the other half.”

“Well, I’ll just need to make myself one of her favourites,” Scarlet flips her perfectly curled hair and shrugs.

“You’re already one of my favourites,” Yvie says nonchalantly. Scarlet fixes her photoshoot-ready smile onto her.

“The only correct decision,” she points at her approvingly. Yvie laughs a too-loud laugh that makes Vanessa roll her eyes at just how lovesick and useless everyone in this cast seems to be. Then again, she supposes she can’t really talk. Scarlet’s talking to Yvie now as if they’re the only two people in the room. “How’re you feeling, baby?”

“Just excited! Ready to go and get some tens,” she laughs, although Vanessa knows she’s not really joking.

Vixen raises her eyebrows, amused by the girl’s cocky remark. “Reign it in, girl. They never give out tens on the first night. You wanna score above twenty-five, that’s a successful first week,”

“Well, at least nobody’s going home this week,” Scarlet shrugs easily. She’s right- there’s no vote in the first week, and all the scores are instead carried over to next week’s show. But Vanessa doesn’t see that as a chance to relax. Scores are combined with the public votes so she knows a high score in the first week puts them in a good position for the next. She knows she’s thinking ahead too much but she can’t really help it. This is a long game, like Akeria said on launch night, and Vanessa is playing it to win.

“How’re you feeling, Scarlet?” Yvie asks back. Scarlet pouts. Vanessa thinks it’s more than a little for Yvie’s benefit.

“I’m just nervous! I hope I do okay.”

“You’ll be amazing,” Yvie tells her, and Scarlet’s smile is back on her face. Yvie smirks as she finishes her sentence off with, “Like me.”

The girls all laugh. Brooke takes out her phone and scrolls it a bit, nudging Vanessa after a while.

“Cute backstage video?” she offers, and Vanessa nods happily, glad to see Brooke a little less subdued. Vanessa leans into her as Brooke tilts the camera at them both.

“Hey family, we’re just about to get our hair and makeup done, hoping they can do something to fix this,” Brooke jokes, gesturing around her entire face. Vanessa shoves her.

“Shut up, girl, you’re gorgeous.”

The compliment is out before Vanessa can stop herself, but she doesn’t miss the way Brooke’s smile gets slightly wider. She ignores the compliment with her words but her face acknowledges it. “We’ve just done our dress run, it went horribly-”

“Oh my God, the lies you are telling today!!” Vanessa’s jaw drops. She knows it hadn’t gone well, but she just doesn’t want Brooke being so down on herself.

“Tell me we weren’t bad.”

“We weren’t bad!!”

“Well we weren’t good, either,” Brooke laughs, and Vanessa has to hand that one to her. “So you guys better vote for us next week, because we’ll need it.”

“Yeah, vote, vote, vote!” Vanessa nods enthusiastically.

“For Willam and Phi Phi!” Willam ducks her head into shot, and Vanessa pushes her away as she bursts out laughing.

“Brooke and Vanessa!” someone from hair calls, and Brooke pulls a face at the camera.

“Ah! Right, that’s us! See you all later, love you,” Brooke squeals into her phone and stops recording. In lieu of a story she decides to post the video on her grid, with the caption:

bhytes: 1 hour to go! Mood: terrified! Lucky I have @vanessavanjie dancing with me!

Vanessa is heartened by the tag, promises herself she’ll reply with something later. As the hair stylist sprays Brooke’s hair to within an inch of its life, Vanessa watches in the mirror as Brooke scrolls her phone, then pauses, a stifled smile creeping across her lips and a hand reaching up to touch her face self-consciously. Vanessa narrows her eyes with interest and, refreshing the page, finds that five new comments have popped up on the video Brooke’s posted. Three of them are a series of emojis, one is well-wishes from Brooke’s One Show co-star Nina, and one in particular catches her eye.

branjie5ever05: you GUYS i can’t take it you’re so good together!!! like an old married couple!! can’t wait to see you dance! branjie 5ever!!

Vanessa allows herself to wonder if that was the comment that had made Brooke’s face light up before her mind tells her how utterly ridiculous she’s being.

Hair and makeup is a blur and once they’re done, Brooke takes Vanessa’s breath away for a second time. The pair of them never really get to see each other with a full face of makeup on- they would just sweat it off in rehearsals- so this is unfamiliar territory to Vanessa. Brooke’s beauty hits her all over again just as it had on launch night, and Vanessa feels herself dissolving into a bashful mess whose tongue has been cut out.

“Wow,” Brooke says quietly, her tone of approval sending another little spark through Vanessa’s body. The atmosphere is already so electric and Brooke doesn’t need to add to that but she won’t complain. Brooke gives her a small smile that’s almost shy as she manoeuvres herself out of the makeup chair. “You look so good.”

Vanessa smiles, mutters a soft thanks to her. Brooke keeps going.

“I mean, better than good, obviously. Really pretty,” she stutters out, and Vanessa has to try not to laugh at how endearing she’s being.

“Well, same to you, boo. If anything goes wrong, which it won’t, all you need to do is smile at the judges and then maybe they’ll ignore it.”

Brooke rolls her eyes, gives a small laugh. “Ugh, please. I’m not Scarlet, I’m not going to simp for the judges.”

Vanessa lets out a howl of a laugh which causes some of the other girls to turn their heads. She yells an explanation. “Brooke Lynn just used the term ‘simp’!!”

“What? Did I not use it right?” she blinks, unamused. Vanessa butts her head into her arm and hugs her, trying to explain how funny she finds a thirty year old TV presenter using a term she’s only ever seen on Twitter.

If Brooke’s Insta post is a countdown to the show starting, then their time is eventually up. Vanessa feels like Brooke hugs her extra tight before she goes out to do the pro dance, clingy in the best kind of way. They won’t be separated for long but Vanessa still feels her heart hammering in her chest as the dancers begin to assemble on the ballroom floor, walking through the audience who are silent in anticipation (or perhaps under strict instructions from the producers). There’s a countdown and Vanessa tries to forget that, unlike the launch show, this is live, her dancing instantly beamed into the living rooms of everyone watching. The lights begin to come up, and the commentator’s voice booms through the studio.

“Live on Saturday night, this is Strictly Come Dancing!”

The audience cheers, and the band play the first notes of Boogie 2Nite. Vanessa can hardly breathe as she watches Akeria and Phi Phi open the dance, not a single error between them as they kick and spin each other around the floor. When Vanessa and the other pros join in at the swell of the chorus there is another excited cheer that ripples through the studio and makes Vanessa’s smile hurt her face. She gets to her solo and feels as if she’s igniting as the lights beam down hot onto her and she spins, kicks one leg high into the air, melts and then finishes with a stag jump that she knows wasn’t perfect but she’s too full of adrenaline to care. She partners with Monique and the two of them have matching grins on their faces as they dance, Monique spinning Vanessa round, round, round until she’s almost dizzy. As the dance comes to a close, Vanessa hits her pose right on the last beat, holds it, and then after waiting for the audience to finish applauding she runs backstage along with the other girls, hurrying into costume to change into her quickstep dress. The wardrobe team help her change and before she knows it, she returns into the line that the partners are all forming at the top of the stairs, waiting for their names to be called out. As soon as Brooke sees her, her face lights up in a smile and she wraps her in a tight hug. She smells of hairspray and fake tan and peppermint chewing gum, and Vanessa never wants to step out of her arms.

“You were so amazing. Well, everyone was. But you were the best,” Brooke murmurs into her ear before she lets her go, and Vanessa’s whole body tingles at the praise. There’s hardly time to reply, however, before a runner is telling them that they’re to come down the stairs in just twenty seconds, and stand in the spot they’d been given earlier that day during the dress run. Vanessa’s palms are sweaty and she’s self-conscious of them as Brooke takes her hand.

“Introducing your Strictly Come Dancing stars!”

The commentator’s voice is loud through the speakers and Brooke’s thumb strokes Vanessa’s skin between her thumb and index finger as they look at each other affirmingly before stepping out onto the stairs. The lights are blinding in Vanessa’s face but she’s still smiling and waving at the top of the stairs as the audience cheers for her and Brooke.

“TV presenter Brooke Lynn Hytes, and her partner Vanessa Mateo!”

Vanessa sneaks a look at Brooke and she’s already looking at her. The coincidence makes them both giggle before they walk carefully down the stairs, Vanessa telling herself not to trip on her way down. They make their way to their space and watch and clap for the other couples while the anticipation fizzes in Vanessa’s chest. They’re first. They’re first. They’re first. If she’s this nervous, she doesn’t know how Brooke must be feeling. Eventually all the couples are assembled, and Michelle is introducing them.

“And kicking off the whole show…it’s Brooke and Vanessa!”

As the audience gives a whoop and their VT plays Vanessa takes Brooke’s arm and looks at her, making sure she’s okay. To her relief Brooke returns her gaze steadfastly and there’s a little sparkle in her eye. She doesn’t seem as anxious as she was before. The couples leave the ballroom floor, Monique, Akeria and Crystal making sure to tap Vanessa on the shoulder on their way past and whisper a quick “good luck” to her and Brooke. They sit on the chairs that the set people are running about assembling, and Vanessa hisses across to Brooke.

“You good?”

Broke nods to her. “We’ve got this.”

Vanessa’s nerves instantly leave her body. Brooke’s truly back in the room and her head is in the game. There’s a countdown of five from a runner and the commentator’s voice booms overhead again.

“Dancing the quickstep…Brooke Lynn Hytes and Vanessa Mateo!”

The drum kicks in and their performance has begun. Already it’s nothing like the dress rehearsal. Brooke’s smile is genuine and easy during their silly interview-style bit, and when Brooke takes her hand as she rises from the chair Vanessa can feel her pulse again but it’s not heavy and frightened like before. It’s full of adrenaline and excitement and as Vanessa rests her hand on her upper arm and Brooke rests hers between her shoulder blades, something just seems to click. They’re off across the dancefloor and Vanessa knows Brooke’s steps and hops are in time with hers, the intricate footwork coming so naturally to her. As they go to cross the floor again, Brooke’s smile seems to falter as she stumbles. Vanessa doesn’t let this deter her and as they meet each other’s eyes she gives Brooke a wink.

“Beans on toast!” she reminds her mid-dance, and Brooke’s confidence is back as they do the next set of steps perfectly. Their feet are going so fast that Vanessa can’t even pick up on whether or not Brooke’s made any more mistakes yet, but the majority of their first dance has been good.

They reach their little section on the steps, and Brooke gives the slightest little falter as she makes eye contact with Bianca. The judge never gives anything away so her steely gaze might have rattled her, but as soon as they’re off the steps and back in each others’ arms Vanessa gives Brooke’s hand a squeeze.

“Almost there, last section!” Vanessa tells her encouragingly. They’re back to kicking, stepping and hopping their way across the ballroom floor to their seats where they finish, and as Brooke hits her final pose and Vanessa hits hers the audience gives a loud cheer. As soon as they’ve held it for a few seconds, Vanessa squeals, jumps up and meets Brooke’s waiting arms. She knows they’ve got to go over to Michelle to be interviewed but she holds the hug for a few more moments than necessary, raising her voice over the roar of the crowd as she speaks against Brooke’s rapidly rising and falling chest.

“You did it! So incredible!!” she gasps, all out of breath. To her shock, Brooke rests a hand on one side of Vanessa’s face and plants a kiss against the other.

Vanessa doesn’t know if the past five minutes could get any better.

They make their way over to Michelle. Brooke’s got one arm slung around Vanessa’s shoulders and Vanessa’s not moved her arm from her hips since their hug. Michelle is waiting for them with a bright smile on her face, seemingly as happy with their performance as they are.

“Congratulations you two, what an opening to the show!” she smiled encouragingly, and Vanessa gives Brooke’s waist a squeeze. “Brooke, how did it feel performing tonight?”

Brooke’s out of breath as she talks. “So amazing. So, so amazing. Dress run went so badly and just having the real thing go so well…wow. Just the best feeling.”

“I told y’all she was good!” Vanessa pipes up proudly beside her, and Brooke gives a laugh and pulls Vanessa in closer to her side.

“Judges! What did you think? Shangela?”

Vanessa’s heart stands still as she comes to the first judge, smiling gently at her desk.

“Well first of all, what a way to open the show! So much fun, and Vanessa, so great to have you as part of a pairing this year, that choreo was something else.”

Vanessa can feel Brooke’s eyes on her and she flushes pink from the praise, stutters out a thank you.

“Brooke, great job tonight, you lost your footing a little bit on the steps there, but overall a gorgeous start. Just work on strengthening your core, holding your frame a little bit better, and once you do that? Lovely, gal!”

Vanessa turns her head to see how Brooke’s reacting, She’s smiling and nodding and taking it all on board. Laganja speaks next, growing animated as she gives her feedback.

“I think we have one to watch here, mama!” she cries, and the audience gives a cheer. Vanessa looks up encouragingly at Brooke, gives her waist another squeeze because she can. “So much amazing potential! You just have a natural eleganza, all light and frothy like a latté! A couple of mistakes, girl, work on not showing that on your face. Cuz when you show it, we all see it, you know? But all that aside, well done.”

Bianca’s up next, and Vanessa clenches her core in preparation. The woman could watch Torvill and Dean dance Bolero on ice and still find something to say. “Uh, I thought the footwork needed tightening up, there were bits that were just a little bit too haphazard for me, your elbow was drooping just a little bit which is not great, you did lose your footing on the stairs here…”

Vanessa can feel Brooke drooping a little beside her, a bit like her elbow had allegedly been doing. The audience boos Bianca like the pantomime villain that Vixen had mentioned, but the woman’s face cracks into a small smile as she finishes her remarks. “But what I do love about you is your energy, you have a lot of great potential as Ganja’s pointed out, and I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do when you get just a little bit more technical.”

The audience seems appeased and claps her comments, and Brooke has perked up at Vanessa’s side like a flower that’s been given a drink. Michelle turns to Kennedy, the final judge to give her comments.

“Brooke! I think you started out a little bit nervous, and what was nice was that as the dance went on you kinda came out into your own a bit. You have a lovely feminine and elegant way of moving which is really nice to see in an all-female partnership, and you seem really comfortable in hold with Vanessa, which is lovely.”

Vanessa tries to fight the blush that washes her face at Kennedy’s comment and doesn’t succeed.

“Just work on your presentation a little bit and your confidence and…yeah. I’m living for you, miss, you’re gonna be dangerous.”

Vanessa is heartened by the way Brooke’s face lights up at the praise. Michelle thanks the judges and waves them off upstairs to be interviewed by Divina, her co-host, and the pair of them pick up the hems of their dresses and entwine their hands as they dash upstairs to the auditorium (or, as it’s commonly known between the dancers, the Divinatorium). Most of the other pairs are there having watched them dance while they wait for their turn, and they all clap the pair of them as they nudge their way through.

“You did it!” Divina smiles, giving Brooke a hug as she meets them both. “Congratulations! Now, nice comments from the judges- I know Bianca got a bit pernickety there, but how do you feel about them?”

“Really happy, yeah! I just can’t believe what Vanessa’s managed to do with me in the space of two weeks, she’s been amazing. It’s all been down to her.”

Vanessa can’t help the rays of sunshine that feel like they’re emanating from her face as she looks at Brooke. Divina turns to her.

“Vanessa, you’ve been benched for a couple of years now, how does it feel to have a partner finally?”

“You know what, it was worth the wait. She’s been an absolute star,” Vanessa beams, wrapping her other arm around Brooke’s waist and pulling her close just like Brooke had done once their dance had finished.

“Worth the wait! Too cute, you two. Well, the judges’ scores are in.”

Vanessa’s stomach gives a dip. She feels Brooke’s grip tighten on her shoulder as the voice of the commentator rings across the studio. This is the moment they’ve both been waiting for. They’re about to get their first ever scores.

“Will the judges please reveal their scores. Bianca Del Rio.”

Bianca holds up her paddle. Vanessa blinks and tries not to pull a face. Because what’s on the paddle is a number, a number that doesn’t correlate with the dance they both just did.

“Five.”

Hardly wanting to look away, she keeps her eyes fixed to the screen.

“Kennedy Davenport.”

“Five!” Kennedy is holding up an identical paddle. Vanessa can’t help it- she scrunches her face up, turns to Brooke.

“Five?” she shakes her head. Brooke shrugs and smiles but Vanessa knows the scores are hurtful to her. They’re being undermarked- okay, she knows the dance wasn’t perfect and they made just a couple of mistakes, but it was at least a six, perhaps even a seven.

“Shangela Wadely.”

“Five.”

Vanessa shakes her head, trying to keep a smile on her face but wanting to storm down the stairs and give those judges a piece of her mind.

“Laganja Estranja.”

“Six!” the girl cries happily as she holds up her paddle, and the audience lets out a cheer. Vanessa relaxes a little, and she can feel somebody pat her on the back encouragingly.

“Happy with those?” Divina asks a little gingerly, and Vanessa jumps in before Brooke can say anything.

“You know what? It’s week one, and it’s a start!” she shrugs firmly. She’s not going to let this dent her confidence or Brooke’s. This isn’t the first time she’s been undermarked or disappointed in her career and it sure as hell won’t be the thing that knocks her or Brooke down.

“The only way is up,” Brooke agrees beside her, nodding fiercely.

“Well, we all thought you did amazing,” Divina reassures them both, and Vanessa flashes her a grateful smile. Divina explains to the TV audience that they can’t vote until next week, and that the judges’ scores will be carried over to the next show. She closes their interview and the audience claps them and just like that, after all the buildup, their first dance is over and they head backstage.

The moment it’s just the pair of them, Vanessa instantly pulls Brooke into a hug because God knows if Brooke doesn’t need one then she definitely does. They’re in the cream-painted corridors where the dressing rooms are, and the light is harsh and bright around them when all Vanessa wants is just a moment of darkness. She wants to be under her duvet, pulling it up high over her head and letting the shadows envelop her. As her arms circle around Brooke’s waist she lets out a sigh. Brooke returns the hug and Vanessa takes a deep, calming breath as she feels the older woman’s strong arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her in close to her chest. Vanessa’s back is against the cold paint of the wall and it’s contrasting so much with the warmth Brooke’s body is giving off. They stand like that in silence for a moment, each of them grounding the other, and Vanessa can feel Brooke’s heart through her chest. It’s intimate and gentle, and not a single word has been spoken between them but Vanessa can sense a shift in the atmosphere. She feels something change between them, a difference that somehow pulls them closer together and connects them in a way that they hadn’t been before.

“That was undermarked. You were amazing,” she whispers in annoyance against Brooke’s chest. Brooke’s arms tighten around her in response.

“We were amazing,” she whispers back. Vanessa’s not sure why they’re whispering, but she likes it, makes the moment seem more theirs somehow.

The thought appears in her head and it’s out before she can stop it. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Brooke shakes her head above her and repeats her words back to her instantly. “No, I’m lucky. So, so lucky.”

Giving another sigh, Vanessa lets her arms slide down to her side and, taking her cue, Brooke slowly releases her, but not before resting her hands on her shoulders and giving her a smile that seems to say so much without saying anything at all. Vanessa wonders how long that hug could have gone on for if she’d let it.

“Put it out of your mind. We move,” she says decisively, and Brooke gives a single nod.

“Tomorrow’s a new day, and next week’s a new week.”

They link arms and go to be interviewed for the socials and, after the moment she’s just shared with Brooke, Vanessa knows that her smile won’t have to be faked.

#rpdr fanfiction #bet you look good on the dancefloor #ortega #strictly au #lesbian au #branjie #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #monique heart #monet x change #willam belli #courtney act #phi phi o'hara #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #background jankie #background momo #background scyvie #background crygi

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rpgmgames · 5 years

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October’s Featured Game: Dead Dreams

DEVELOPER(S): Aiaz Marx ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Adventure, Horror, Narrative WARNINGS: Body horror, Flashing images, Sudden sounds, Mild Violence, Blood, Gore SUMMARY: A school game dev club of four friends breaks up after the tragic death of one of their members. Until... a sinister ‘V’ would force them back to the memories of those events, what lead to that loss and how it changed their lives.

Download the game here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hi, my name is Aiaz Marx. I'm the main developer of "Dead Dream" which is my first serious project! More facts about me: I'm from Russia, but I've been living in Spain for 4 years now! I love videogames, cinematography, and languages!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Aiaz Marx: Dead Dreams is all about character development and overcoming your fears. Some of the central in-game themes are loneliness, coming of age and family. Inspirations? Seriously, there are so many of them but the main inspiration for me was the Silent Hill series (particularly SH2 and SH4).

How long have you been working on your project? *Aiaz Marx: Nine long months :)

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Aiaz Marx: Other games that influenced certain elements of Dead Dreams are Yume Nikki, Ib, OFF and Doki Doki Literature Club! Story-wise it was hugely inspired by Anohana anime series and Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki (H.Murakami's book). The theme of colors will actually play a very important role later in the game :) There are more significant influences that unfortunately I can't mention without spoiling the game :)

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Aiaz Marx: I think for me the main challenge was to put my creation out for the public eyes and accept the criticism. Failing the Kickstarter was truly a lifechanging experience and I even wrote an article about it. The only way to overcome it was to admit it and find good reasons to keep working. I could also count on the support of some of my fellow developers and community.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Aiaz Marx: Initially, I was planning to make a lighthearted adventure game with knights and magic corporations, haha! :D As you can see, now it's a horror game! :)

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Aiaz Marx: I wouldn't say that I have a team but there are few people that I need to mention: Aiden/kanteramcneil was helping me out with the English translation, play-testing and was extremely supportive throughout these nine months! Matt Reeves is a very talented and amicable guy who composed four songs for me including the amazing Silent Dreams OST you could hear at the end of the Still Water demo. cherry-shot is helping me with the Spanish translation, and Gavren voiced the Radio in the second demo. I never had an experience of working in a team, but I wish I had an artist who could help me out with the character portraits and cutscenes :D

What is the best part of developing a game? *Aiaz Marx: Personally, I love to structure the story, create puzzles and levels layouts. In each new chapter, I'm trying to bring some new mechanics, types of enemies and visuals\locations which will reflect my character's fears and unique qualities. Another thing I really enjoy is adding some extra details, absurd descriptions, and easter eggs :D

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Aiaz Marx: Certainly! As I mentioned, a lot of game's elements were inspired by RPG Maker games like Yume Nikki, Ib, OFF and even Lisa. But still, I'm trying really hard to make something unique and memorable.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Aiaz Marx: It has to be Thomas, a character inspired by Henry from SH4, Madotsuki, Lone Survivor and H.Murakami's protagonists. He's a lonely hikikomori who avoids any real social interactions. I'm sure that every passioned solo dev at some point felt him(her)self lonely :) I just always find this type of characters very relatable.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Aiaz Marx: Maybe the game's title? I feel like it's not memorable enough. Do you know that initially it was called PlayerBetweenUs? Well, DD isn't finished yet, so I may change some things along the way.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Aiaz Marx: I think DD doesn't need any prequels or sequels :)

What do you most look forward to now that you have finished the game? *Aiaz Marx: I can't wait to start working on new shorter projects and try out new genres (3D games/visual novels) and engines!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Aiaz Marx: Not really. I just want people to enjoy playing Dead Dream :)

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Aiaz Marx: The first step is just to start with something. For your first projects try to keep it short, experiment with ideas and find the type of game you wanna make. Don't forget to ask for help and feedback. Honestly, there are so many great advices provided by others GOTM's featured developers so go check them out! :)

Question from last month's featured dev @Turoveroofficial: Have you ever had a meme made of your game? If so, what was your favorite? If not, have you made your own? *Aiaz Marx: There was only one meme, so I guess it's my favorite :)

We mods would like to thank Aiaz Marx for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Dead Dreams if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpgmaker #rpg maker #dead dreams (game)#dead dreams #pixel horror #horror game #pixel game #indie game #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2019 #2019 #october 2019

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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Vibe of the Week 09/08

First of all, step aside Bill, because you’re not the most important Leo in my life.

A big, huge, resounding happy birthday to the King of my family--my old man. He’s the greatest dude I know. He can fix seriously anything, he has guided me my whole life, he’s a phenomenal story teller and he’s just....he’s the best guy I know. I have high standards in men because my dad has loved my mom so intensely for their entire marriage (44 years and counting), and he still does. He buys her flowers. He writes her songs. They have date nights every week.

August, and particularly the first 10 days in August, are so weird for me. I have so much history and it’s all in sequence--a past love, his birthday was August 7. Bill’s is the 9th. Pop’s is the 10th. There’s more but it’s just...man, that Leo energy. It exhausts me.

Last week we talked a bit about embracing the change that’s coming, starting to reap the harvest for our efforts. The universe gave us a bit of a break.

This week’s Oracle deck is the Shaman Wisdom Cards, and the Tarot is the Llewellyn Wizards Tarot deck (which like, look, I love these cards--but I cannot even express how much I HATE the design on the back. It is so fucking obnoxious. Why would you design something that bright for these cards? Ugh I hate it.)

The Oracle card this week is Agate:

The affirmation: Adapt to the situation and communicate your intentions

Words to meditate on: Courage, brave, recognition, abundance, growth, balance

This is quite a lovely card. It’s the striking of the match--something is being lit up here, and you’re about to be stimulated in a million different ways--love, relationships, creativity. Something here is lighting your interest, and there’s a lovely sense of rejuvenation. The cards are not kicking our ass anymore this week (thank you, cards). This card speaks of collaboration, of group work, of fulfillment, a sense of community. Deeper than that, a loss of individual self (the good kind), where the “I” becomes the “we” and we’re all stronger for it. Fortifying your group, man. WHERE MY BITCHES AT.

For the Tarot this week, I did a Celtic cross spread just for something different. Also, I am so determined to master a riffle shuffle which I cannot do to save my life. I’m awful at it.

Anyway:

1) Page of Wands

2) Seven of Pentacles

3) Ten of Wands

4) King of Pentacles

5) King of Swords

6) King of Cups

7) Six of Cups

8) Queen of Cups

9) Eight of Cups

10) Eight of Wands

Overarching theme: The Empress (Major Arcana)

Okay so look, a few things here. First of all, as far as spreads go, you can’t get more meh than this.

Second of all, I get bummed when I don’t see a Major in a spread but I had forgotten to pull the overarching theme card and when I did, MY GIRL THE EMPRESS answering my call.

Interesting that last week, we also had a Major Arcana as the overarching theme (The Hanged Man). You know what other Major appeared last week?

My girl’s boo, the Emperor.

Now, third and final point before we dive in: Christ on a cracker, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS OVERABUNDANCE OF MASCULINE ENERGY? My god, Leo season is just...it’s just so...Leo. My dudes, tuck it back in. Stop trying to pee on everything and stake your claim to it. It’s gonna be okay, guys. No need to be all alpha male about everything.

Alright here we go, buckle the fuck up because....ugh, Leo.

First impressions: All of the Suits represented in near perfect balance, which could mean harmony or like...a fucking battle. We’ll see.

The Empress - overarching theme

My badass bish. Abundance. Nourishment, but of the soul kind. A burst of creativity and passion, a rejuvenation in life.

1) Page of Wands - the situation right now

A willingness to learn. Something is exciting you here, some new prospect that has you wanting to absorb everything you can and act on it, but a bit of ego and lack of confidence might be holding you back. You’re stuck on yourself, not letting yourself move forward.

2) Seven of Pentacles-- the conflict

Getting in your own way is alright sometimes, because you’re evaluating. You’re laying out all your options, reflecting on it. What strikes me here is you’re weighing value in some capacity--like, is it worth it to pursue this? Because whatever it is, it seems to come at a high enough cost (actual, or figurative) to have you taking a step back. And this is actually quite remarkable, because in Leo season we’re all just fucking roaring and ready to jump head first into anything--but not this. Not here and not now. There’s such careful deliberation, and that’s okay.

3) Ten of Wands - the atmosphere around the situation

Burdens, obligations, responsibilities. Just because we want something very badly doesn’t mean it’s going to work out for us--previous obligations and responsibilities, our role in our lives and the lives of others--these are very real things which make our wants and dreams not a possibility in our immediate future. Sometimes the timing is just bad.

It also...it also looks a bit like you’ve been burned here before. You know this tale. It ended differently for you last time. You wanted something, were passionate about something, went after it with everything you had (like you’re supposed to) and man did you fall on your face. Hard enough that it stayed with you, that feeling stayed with you.

4) King of Pentacles - the base of the matter, what is really behind the drive

balanced, practical, cautious, generous. My boo, you want stability. You are chasing something so hard because it will bring you stability, reassurance, in a way that you need and in a way that you haven’t felt in a long time.

5) King of Swords - past influences

Oh bubs, somebody done you wrong. You thought you had what you needed before--and god again I’m a little taken aback at how masculine this reading is, boys are so dumb--somebody tricked you. Somebody knew what you needed, what you craved--authority, stability, communication, logic. A manipulator roped you in knowing that you needed all those things, and they provided them to you--for a short while, and on a superficial level. But you were so desperate for what you needed, that you took it.

And it burned you. So now, you’re focusing this fight internally--you are out here like a Queen, trying to be this force for you. YAAAAAAS.

6) King of Cups - forthcoming influences

You’re getting there, boo. Whether or not this is someone who Is going to enter your life, or if this is just you coming into your own....I’m not sure. The cards ain’t telling me. But it is showing me that the forthcoming influence is BALANCE, and channeling that masculine energy. The energy of being assertive but not rude, the energy of balancing emotional needs with rational thought, just...balance balance balance. Evenness. Kindness.

Finding ways to give your heart what it needs, while also leaving space for responsibility, rational thought, and growth boo. GROWTH.

And like, I am most definitely not one of those people like “love is coming to you” but like....babe it kinda looks like it is?

It doesn’t have to be a dude if you don’t bat for that team. It could be somebody who embodies all of the best characteristics and traits that we deem masculine.

7) Six of Cups-- in the “bitch where the fuck am I” position

You’re back refocused on the little things that matter. If we’re talking romantically, think of how like....a huge weekend getaway to a private vineyard somewhere in the countryside that took a lot of planning and is just this wild gesture of passionate love--that’s sweet, right? That feels nice.

But a small note on the coffee machine when you wake up, that says “You’re going to do great today, I love you” referencing a meeting that you mentioned to your significant like a week ago and said you were nervous for it. That...man, it’s the little things.

Right now, you’re coming back to centre. You’re reeling your scope back in, and you’re determining what really matters to you.

But there’s also a bit of caution here, in those small gestures--small gestures can alter our future in literally every single way. Be mindful of your actions, and their impact. Don’t be haunted by your past, but also...kid, don’t be nostalgic for it. This is so not the time.

8) Queen of Cups - the view of others

Ohhhh isn’t this a trick. Ha, lookit that Queen. This is how others view you, bubs. As this powerhouse badass woman who is in complete control at all times, reserved yet cut throat, elegant yet deadly. People view you as a person of envy, someone who always seems to have it all together.

9) Eight of Cups - hopes and fears

You’re worried that this quest or this search you’re on, this need to feel something in your past but in a much better, more fulfilling way....you’re worried it doesn’t exist. You’re worried that what you seek isn’t actually out there. You hope it is--but there’s enough doubt in you (hello! Get the fuck back there, past experiences and stay the fuck there!) that you’re terrified.

Your journey can’t be explained logically. And this is that fucking Leo sun shit, you know? If it ain’t logical or practical, then it either 1) doesn’t exist, and/or 2) you shouldn’t go anywhere near it.

Fuck that Leo side of everything.

What you seek is out there. It is not rational, but it doesn’t have to be rational to be real. The heart has reasons that even REASON doesn’t understand.

What you seek is out there, and it’s yours to find. Go.

10) Eight of Wands - Potential outcome

Listen, I love this idea of serendipity. Of self fulfilling prophecies. Because this card...mmm, what a phenomenal card to end on.

The very fact that you are out there and that you had the courage to seek this out, means that 1) it exists, and 2) that you will find it.

You taking the action of following your heart is going to set into motion a whole series of karmic reactions that you will also need on your journey. This card is travel, it’s communication, it’s a satisfying journey, it’s the jackpot. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, you keep following that heart of yours, and result will be what you expect it to be.

tl;dr: fuck this Leo energy. You do you boo, stay gentle.

#tarot

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booksanditsseriesormovies · 4 years

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GX Month Day 10

(September 9): Free Day/Introductions

Ready for Story time (in fear of sounding like a Youtuber)? Ok here is how I got into GX and my 3 favorite characters in the series...

So I was one of the many that grew up with Duel Monsters. I was like 8-9 y/o when my friends and I got into the hype of it, some friends of mine even played the card game with hand drawn cards because it was hard to come across the real thing in Latin America at the time.

But I was never able to finish it and I dropped it. Until I was in college (seriously how many got back into their childhood likes in college), where I finished it in like a month and a half and left a hole in me after I finished. So the next logical step was to watch GX to keep myself going in the YGO train...

And I just couldn’t.

It was just too different and I loved DM way too much. And the first few episodes of GX gave me a huge whiplash theme wise (fun fact: that’s happening to me rn and that’s why I am rewatching S3 of GX instead of watching 5Ds, I watched like 5 episodes and I’m still too attached to GX to enjoy it).

Like how did we go from this

to this

The fact that we get bombed by tons of fillers (including Judai dueling a freaking monkey) so early in season 1 was not helping. So after like 20 episodes or so I dropped it, not really convinced. That was like 3 years ago.

Fast forward to quarantine. I was going through my list of pending anime to watch and I came across Yu Gi Oh GX, and I decided to give it another go now that DM wasn’t so fresh on my emotions. And I had also read several comments saying that you had to get through season 1 and 2 because season 3 and 4 were spectacular and totally worth the watch.

And so I started watching it and while I got into it thinking “okay I just want to get to season 3″ I found myself truly enjoying season 1 (at least after the never ending completely irrelevant fillers). People found Judai annoying and I have to say from what little I’ve heard of the dub, yeah he is annoying there. But in the sub I ended up really digging Judai’s carefree personality and how he just honestly loves dueling.

My only point of comparison so far is DM and Judai’s attitude to dueling is such a contrast to Atem’s much more serious one (though both are great and fit their characters and storylines well). In fact, after seeing Judai in season 4 I seriously missed the carefree Judai of season 1 and 2, like it caused me pain to see how badly season 3 had broken this poor boy and made him harden beyond recognition. Thank God for BBT because we see that he is back to being a happy boy.

Then I got into season 2 and we got introduced to this magnificent being

Edo Phoenix started off as the character that made me roll my eyes because of how damn full of himself he was, smugly beating the living daylights out of Judai and Ryo (so bad both of them experience a full on trauma induced breakdown, seriously). But he just grew on me as he started drifting away from Saio a bit and we learn of his tragic backstory with his dad and DD (and when he nonchalantly cut off Judai’s fishing line after he caught his steak I swear to God I laughed out loud in public because of it).

And then he showed up again season 3 all of a sudden and he got grouped with Ryo and the power vibes were off the roof (like that scene of them defeating those Supreme King’s minions with Cyber End and Plasma #iconic). And he got some nice character growth, saying he was helping Judai fins Johan because Judai had saved Saio before. And then him dueling Amon (that piece of s***) to save Echo...thanks season 3 for killing off my child.

Forever salty that the last we see of Edo is him getting punched by Ojama Yellow

BUT in season 3 we got introduced to this man right here

And I never looked back. This person, this lovely Crystal Boy is my favorite boy forever and after 5 min of knowing him I knew that would be the character I would lose my shit over in these series.

I just love everything about Johan, his bond with the Crystal Beasts, his natural sense of leadership, his resolve to become a bridge between humans and spirits. But most of all, how he is the first true friend Judai has IMO. Johan sees Judai as an absolute equal, and in the span of a few episodes he develops a much more deeper bond with him than most (if not all) of his other friends in 2 seasons. I feel like, if Judai represents the Gentle Darkness, Johan is his Light counterpart (like Darkness and the Light of the Destruction...but good), that’s why they are so similar. My dream is that they would have explored this had season 4 not been cut short, maybe Johan was also a reincarnation seeing as he and Judai felt they had known each other before.

I think it was absolute BS that he wasn’t around for most of season 4 considering he was the catalyst for the second half of season 3 (wth s4 writing team). But at least he came back to duel Fujiwara with Judai and he made him laugh for the first time in like 50 episodes (everyone say thank you, Johan). It was in the middle of a duel to save Humanity but who cares those two children were having fun teasing Darkness.

Well anyways, Judai, Edo and Johan are my boys. I love them a lot so please love them too. And love GX because half the flake it gets is undeserved tbh.

#gxmonth2020 #wow the rant #yu gi oh gx

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cyberramblings · 4 years

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Kingdom Hearts BBS, DDD Blind Thoughts

Spoilers for Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and earlier titles in the series. Also warning that I have insomnia and these are utter ramblings on the last 24 hours of blindly binging the Kingdom Hearts series as a total newcomer to the series. Haven’t played three yet and just started Dream Drop Distance. With that warning.....

Birth by Sleep was a ton of fun. We ended up needing to grind a little to make Aqua playable, but that ended up forcing me to learn the game mechanics much deeper, and even my friends leveled up their playing of the game! It was really cool to unlock some of the high tier spells like Triple Firaga and Thundaga Shot, although I do wish we had gotten to chance to unlock even more. I should remember how much more fun the game was after some internet research.

It was very satisfying to unlock the true ending so easily. We had only missed 2 of the 12 required Xehanort Reports. The 2 we needed involved grinding the arena for maybe an hour total and then 5 minutes of finding a treasure chest. We were then able to roll smoothly from Aqua’s finish into the final episode.

Aqua’s fight against Braig was laughable easy, but the final fight against Vanitas/Ventus was slightly tougher. The real challenge was fighting Terra/Xehanort but then the REAL challenge was phase 2 of that fight. I got them all on the first try! It was a really enjoyable flex of my gaming skills in front of the friends.

From a story standpoint, Birth By Sleep had my favorite story of any KH game so far, by a huge margin. I liked certain elements of the KH2 ending (Riku and Sora teaming up, Kairi’s keyblade) but BBS has been the only game where I had any sense of purpose or desire to see how it ends. They did a great job of having each of the 3 routes reveal new information even if played out of order (Xehanort taking over Terra, Vanitas having Sora’s face, Aqua taking care of comatose Ventus).

Obviously it helps to have Leonard Nimoy and Mark Hamill join the cast, plus Aqua’s VA absolutely dominates every scene she’s in. Terra’s VA reminds me a lot of Leon’s monotone edgy boy voice acting (David Boreanaz or otherwise). Of course Ventus shares a VA with Roxas, but the twist of Vanitas being Haley Joel Osmont is really great because he sounds so much older. I think it would have been easier to predict that twist if I had recently heard more of HJO’s Sora voice in Dream Drop Distance or KH3.

Aqua is, of course, the great standout character from BBS. From the start, we got attached to her because of her known prevalence in KH3 on top of her cool design, Arrow voice actress, and the fact that we could finally play a girl (plus one with more human proportions than Kairi). It worked out really well how we saved her for last and had to kind of unlock the secrets of her play style by finally mastering the various gameplay systems.

I much prefer the command deck system compared to the gameplay of KH2. To be fair, these are the only two KH games I’ve beaten. I’ve only barely touched KH1 and Chain of Memories. I felt like BBS did a good job of fusing the action gameplay of KH2 with the (potentially) satisfying deck building of CoM.

Re: Coded is a fucking mess. I might actually go back and play it on a DS emulator just to see the gameplay, but god damn the story is a flimsy excuse for a retread. I almost wish we had skipped it entirely, but just watching the opening and ending worked out pretty well. In the end, it’s literally just “Mickey is gonna give Sora the memories of all the other protagonists” which is badass but probably going to be mentioned again before being relevant. I will say that the ending with Riku and Sora being summoned by Yen Sid for the mark of mastery test is fucking badass and elicited quite the reaction from all three of us. The series is finally starting to have that feeling of “the stakes are high and I want to see what happens with these characters”.

This was expressed most fully in the intro to Dream Drop Distance. Step 1: invoke Disney Magic with a silhouette of magician Mickey. Step 2: Orchestral Simple and Clean. Step 3: use entirely new cinematic footage instead of splicing together an AMB. Step 4: show every keyblade wielder standing side by side. Apparently that’s enough to make me actually cry. We all got very excited by this intro, so it was a bit of a let down to start the game and be seemingly replaying KH1 again.

Of course that’s not the whole game, but I’m still not sure what the whole game is. Riku and Sora have to...wake the seven sleeping worlds to earn their mark of mastery? Are they dreaming all of this, or what? Seeing The World Ends With You was cute for like a second before realizing that I know almost nothing about it. Flowmotion is similarly kinda neat at first but quickly becomes annoying, but maybe it will grow on me with time.

Speaking of fun at first but quickly annoying: Dream Eaters. The Pokémon-esque system seems like a time waster that’s perfect for 3DS but maybe not so much for our tourist play through. The Dream Eater designs are cute when they’re on your team, but strike me as a bit annoying when fighting the same ones over and over. Heartless and Nobodies felt more generic, but that made them feel a little less repetitive to fight over and over. I see the same god damn rainbow colored Panda every god damn fight. To be fair, I think each world randomly contains certain types of Dream Eaters every time you visit it.

Speaking of Worlds, I’m not really looking forward to Hunchback of Notre Dame or Pinocchio world, but at least they’re new worlds instead of retreading Halloween Town, Agrabah, Olympus, Neverland for the millionth time. What I am looking forward to is The Grid from Tron Legacy! I don’t think we’ve seen any Disney world that specifically spotlight a sequel to a Disney world we’ve already seen. We revisit Halloween Town, Agrabah, Beast’s Castle, Olympus, Atlantica but only for some minor follow-up fluff. The Tron world in KH2 meant a lot to me having just seen the film. The Lightcycle combat could’ve been a little more true to the original, but the visuals were so faithful plus having Tron’s actual actor was so fucking cool. Sora and gang getting Tron outfits was so cool too. Also would’ve liked to have a disc fight, but the Sark/MCP fight was spot on. Hopefully we can get both of more in DDD!

It’s a perfect excuse to revisit The Grid since Legacy looks so different from the original. Now, The Grid is not a true world in KH2 but instead part of Hollow Bastion’s computer system. I’m curious if The Grid in DDD is a sleeping world or something that exists within another world, or if it is somehow connected to the KH2 Tron world (which would get real weird real quick if that version of the Grid is a copy of the original, but Legacy is supposed to be set in The Grid 30 years later).

Oh, I like that DDD has the command deck system but I don’t like the pets, I don’t like the link system, I don’t like reality shift, and I don’t like flowmotion. It just seems like BBS with all the RPG features crammed into the pet system with a bunch of gimmick infused into the combat system. Admittedly, gimmick is one of the biggest strengths of the KH franchise, but flowmotion just seems silly. Perhaps I’ll like it more when I get used to it and potentially get to customize the moves.

I’m not sure yet how I feel about the drop system, but I do like getting to play as Riku. I think multiple protagonists is a smart way to stretch the assets and tell 2 stories per world. I rather enjoyed the way Aqua, Terra, and Ventus interacted with some of the Disney worlds. Hopefully we get something similar in some of these worlds.

The dive mini game is definitely gimmicky nonsense clearly designed for the 3DS. In general though, all the games in these collections look great and feel great. I suppose that is why Days, Coded, and Back Cover are cutscenes: to keep the average quality of gameplay roughly somewhere in between KH1 and 2 between all the titles. In fact, I think KH1 is easily the worst feeling out of all the ones thus far. I’ve always complained about KH hopping between systems, but now I can’t really complain about that anymore. My complaint still stands about the games being overly complicated. Plus, the games are clearly taking themselves way too seriously, but that’s very clearly part of the charm.

Really, I suppose the games aren’t that complicated if you heavily condense Chain of Memories, cut out Coded, and try not to think too hard about the phone games. Then it just becomes: Sora defeats the heartless, Sora defeats the nobodies, Roxas backstory, Aqua/Terra/Ventus, training/prep montage, then KH3. Oh, and try to forget that somehow the upcoming rhythm game is canon.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #birth by sleep #dream drop distance #kingdom hearts dream drop distance #kh ddd #kd: ddd #kh bbs #kh2

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