me: i cant believe im gonna have to take antipsychotics forever
also me: taking meds so i dont go insane? thats just like satoko houjou from higurashi no naku kor-
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I'm on day 3 of lamotrigine and I can already feel the mood stabilizing effects
Obviously not quite where I want to be and not as rested as I was on Seroquel, and it's too soon to say still if they are going to work for me, but I feel good.
Of course my moods still fluctuate throughout the day but the therapy Ive been taking has helped a lot too.
I'm so excited for DBT.
I also want to keep posting my journey because I think the bpd tag gets clouded a lot with all of our negative emotions and I want to put a little positivity out there because I know how it feels to not want to get better. I know how it feels to want to end it all and think you're just a waste of space on this planet, to think everything for everyone is just a waste of time. I still have my moments of doubt. If anyone understands you, it's me. And I would be so alone without this community. One thing I've learned is that your environment and the people in it are detrimental. The right ones will support you and yes they will fucking change for you when they see how hard you're trying, and you will outgrow everyone else on your way.
Go to therapy. Take your meds. You don't have to be ready. You will grow WITH it, not for it. I promise.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just waiting for you. It ain't going anywhere.
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"Mixed episode" what bipolar feels like in one picture
Made in procreate
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that moment when you are crying at night while everyone is asleep, so you need to make sure you are quiet, slowly swallowing your screams and sobbing, and that feeling of suffocation... chest hurts too much.. can't take deep breaths.. is just like dying slowly.
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having comorbid disorders is so wacky bc it’s like my autistic sensory issues, my stimulants for adhd, my antipsychotics for my bipolar, my antidepressants, and my sedative are all competing for the same space in my brain. my blood feels like it’s on fire and i am so nauseous. it’s so hard to regulate rn someone send help. i may need to go on a hot girl walk or something to regulate. but its so hot 🤬 (and latuda makes me prone to heat stroke)
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i just wanted to say that three years ago i got out of the psych ward and i haven’t had to go back since.
there is nothing wrong with being hospitalized for mental illness.
i was sick and i have a right to receive quality care and so do you. 💖
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Taking medication that increases your appetite and having an ED is a cursed combination.
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im so tired of doctors not taking me seriously. because im sick of being in pain or discomfort or somehow feeling like shit, and with all the doctors i have seen, i probably could have had a solution by now if any of those doctors had either: A.) cared about me as a patient & cared about my comfort/pain level, B.) not been too lazy to run more than the most basic tests, or C.) just NOT have been misogynistic & sexist assholes.
this also applies to my mental health journey with therapy, psychiatry, inpatient, residential, etc. if all the psychiatrists i have seen had not just dismissed me because i was a “difficult patient” (aka difficult woman, & nobody likes those) or they over medicated me because i was “difficult”, or just y’know, experiencing a lot of symptoms & not responding well to most medications— if they hadn’t treated me like that maybe i still wouldnt be a sad, anxious piece of shit right now.
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