#set this post rescue…. she said time to drink

[denouemente]

every day felt like another BORING repeat of the other, day after day of fuzz and her head spinning. the ways nat chose to deal with it weren’t ideal — her fellow yellowjackets made it obvious. they did, and everyone else around her. YOU SURVIVED! BE HAPPY! yes, you survived, but at what cost?

“ this is a big party, yeah? ” she’s always been grateful to @tragicale, who provided her with unlimited opportunities to get fucked up without judgement. this place was a fancy schmancy school, and james was one of the stars of the apparently very illustrious theater program — people looked when they walked in together, and, for very different reasons, they were both used to it. “ hey. check it. ” she digs through her pocket, pulling out a dime bag full of a powdery white substance — HER TICKET TO A GOOD NIGHT.

THIS COULD BE A VERY BAD IDEA. he says, and natalie swears her eyes roll all the way back. “ yeah, COULD BE. not will be. don’t be such a downer, farrow. ” she tucks it back into her shirt pocket, exhaling quietly as she looks around. “ ‘kay, let’s go. i could use a drink. ”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Cool for the Summer 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After finishing your degree, you return home only to find things aren’t as you left them.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Note: Humping it up on hump day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You taste the cocktail and make a face. As sweet as it is, the alcohol is stringent in your throat. You set the glass down as Bucky’s fingers tap on his pint. You glance up, surprised to find him watching you. 

"Don't like it?" He asks. 

"Mm, no, I mean yes. No." You stutter out. "It's good, I just... don't drink much." 

"She's a good girl." Your mom teases. "I always had to push her out the door. Oh, don't even ask about prom." She grabs his forearm and cackles. "You would think buying a dress would be fun. Nope. I think she'd have rather gone to the dentist." 

Your cheeks turn hot. Four years past and you still cringe at the fitting room torture. You look down and fiddle with the cutlery wrapped in a red napkin. You really wish she wouldn't treat you like a child. You suppose at times you might act like one. 

"Those things can be tough. I barely remember mine. Only went so my buddy didn't feel like such a loser," Bucky shrugs. "But look at how far you've come. I'm sure high school is like a blip on the radar. Now the real fun begins, huh?" 

You know he's trying to help and you appreciate. But it only makes your chest tighten. The dread throbs in your temples. Life, it's all ahead of you but you have no idea where to start. 

"Yeah, I... I barely remember." You talk to the table. 

"She's a smart one," your mom praises. "I really lucked out. No teenage angst, no rebellion." 

You chew your lip and pick at the trim of the table. You sound lame. You are and you never minded the safety of that trait. Still, you'd like to be known as more than a boring little bookworm. 

"Okay, here we are." The server rescues you from further humiliation. "Chicken caesar." 

She puts your salad in front of you, "cheese steak sammy and macaroni salad." She lays a plate in front of Bucky, "and the sizzling fajitas." 

Another server appears with a wooden plank, set with a cast iron pan atop it and fixings; tortillas, salsa, guac. It smells delicious but you know it's too early for all that. You'd be even sleepier and you still have to get unpacked.  

"Enjoy," the waitress smiles and struts away. 

You unwrap your cutlery and use the knife and fork to shred the lettuce. You should've known better than to order salad. It's always so awkward to eat with others around to see. 

"Mm, pretty good," Bucky says. "Lauren, how's that extravaganza? Really went all out." 

"Wasn't expecting all this." Your mother scoops grilled peppers into a tortilla, daintily with her fork as her nails shine in the light. You remember when you asked to get a manicure and she said they were impractical... 

She's changed but you don’t feel all that different than when you left for college. Maybe you should have tried harder. Well, it's not like your life is over. Far from. 

"How about you?" Bucky prompts and once more you meet his gaze with a startled blink. You nod and swallow. 

"Good. Just boring old salad." You say. 

"Always chicken caesar," your mother chirps. "Creature of habit. Don't worry. You'll hardly be surprised. By tonight, she'll have one of her books and you won't hear another peep." 

You bite down on your tongue. You're not sure anymore if she's bragging or she's chiding you. Her life is so exciting now. Her hair is highlighted, her nails are filled, and her makeup... she's actually wearing makeup. 

"Didn't think you could work with those." You say as she catches her nail on her napkin. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm not in the ward anymore. Sweetie, didn't I tell you? I do clinicals now. I just show the new ones what to do. Not much hands-on stuff." 

"Uh, I remember. Sorry." 

"Too sharp," Bucky chuckles. "Can't even hold her hand without getting clawed." 

She jabs him with her shaped tip and he grunts. They laugh together and you look around. You're the sore thumb sticking out. Ever the third wheel. Even when you had 'friends', you sat on the sidelines, confused by their inside jokes. 

"It's very good. Thank you." You sit forward and focus on the salad. The sooner this is over, the sooner you can do exactly what your mom expects. Hide with a book. Alone. 

🩵

Home is always a comforting sight but not as much as you expect. A flicker of guilt sparks in your chest. Bucky just bought you lunch, you shouldn’t be so negative. Still, you just want to unwind after a long day of traveling. 

As much as you want him to just go, you would never say as much. Your mom seems happy with him. She even seems healthier. It’s nice to see her taking care of herself, she’s done enough of that for others for too long. 

You get out of the car but Bucky’s too fast. He has you bag in his hand before you can react to the trunk opening. He smiles and insists, “I got it. You lead the way.” 

“Mm, I could nap about now,” your mother calls over the car roof. 

You agree internally. The whole train ride, you looked forward to burying yourself in blankets and leaving the world behind. It would be rude to do so with company around, even if they aren’t yours.  

You follow your mom to the front door and she unlocks it with a yawn. You enter and slip your shoes off on the mat. Things are different. Not too different, you can’t quite place everything. Yet you notice that the coat rack has been replaced with mounted hooks across the wall and the rug at the bottom of the stairs is new. 

“Oh!” Your mom spins, surprising you before you can sneak past her. “I forgot about your surprise!” 

You look at her then over your shoulder at Bucky as he plunks down your bag. You wait for him to respond. He just offers a small curve of his lips. You turn back. 

“You,” your mom taps your nose. “Come on. Ah,” she waves around you at Bucky, “bring her bag with you.” 

Your mom grabs your arm and ushers you upstairs. You can’t resist, too swept up in fatigue and confusion. He follows behind you. What’s happening? 

“Okay. I hope you like it,” she goes to your door and your stomach flips. Oh no, what did they do? She swings the door open and backs up, waving inside, “tada!” 

You hesitate but make yourself step into the doorway. You glance around and your mouth slowly falls open. You blink at the room. Wow. 

It’s not awful, just another change you’re not ready for. Instead of your old rectangle bookcases, new circle ones have been built into the walls; white instead of brown. Your bed is the same but the wood is newly re-stained and the bedding is shade of pink you wouldn’t necessarily choose. A heart shaped rug is spread across the floor and your previous desk has been replaced with one that folds into the wall. 

There is an entirely new piece that stands out. A vanity in the corner. The mirror is the same shape as the carpet and the stool has a fluffy seat. 

“Oh, wow...” you utter as you step further inside. 

“Bucky is so handy! I always wanted to do this but I didn’t know where to start. Oh, just wait until you see his place,” she rambles as she trails you. “He built the whole thing himself.” 

“I had help,” he tuts and sets your bag down. “Tried not to do too much but just added a fresh coat to everything.” 

You’re silent.  

“Sweetie?” Your mom touches your arm. 

“I’m... surprised. That’s all.” 

“She’s speechless, Bucky!” She squeals and claps her hands. “I knew she’d love it.” 

“Heh, yeah. Well, I hope it isn’t too much.” He rubs his neck as he looks around. “You can let me know. I can change whatever you need.” 

“No, no, it’s really nice. Like really. I...” you wring a finger in your other hand. “Thank you.” 

“Lauren,” he sidles past you and nudges your mother gently. “Why don’t we let her get settled in? I’m sure she’s beat from the road.” 

“Right, right,” she beams around the room before she faces him. “Of course.” She glances over at you, “sweetie, let us know if you need anything, okay?” 

“Mom, I’m fine.” You show your teeth sheepishly and hover around the wall. 

Bucky leaves first, your mom following as she cranes to stare at the room. She leaves you with an excited wiggle and you go to close the door behind her. Once it’s shut, you sigh. You weren’t ready for any of this. Somehow coming home has proven even more disjointing than going away to college. 

You plod to the bed and flop onto it. You roll onto your back and let your eyes rove. It is so cute. You would have killed for a room like this in high school, even on campus. Yet it does seem a lot. You’re sure once you get a job, your mom doesn’t expect you to stay too long. 

Maybe this is a good thing. A little less pressure on you to get out but not exactly. With Bucky hanging around, you can’t help but be in the way. You’re not the only one who needs to adjust to your return. 

You can worry about it all later. For now, you need to close your eyes and stop thinking. 

🩵

The afternoon wears on as you dawdle away on your phone. You can barely keep your eyes open as the screen glares back at you. It’s almost six when you make yourself stop the addictive word game.  

You lay listless, trying to urge yourself to get up and do something. You lose the battles as your eyes close and you drift off without realising it. In your subconscious, you’re just as you are in reality. Just lying there, motionless and mindless. 

You wake slowly as pressure squeezes in your pelvis. Your bladder forces you to action. Even with the painful weight throbbing inside, you move without urgency. You sit up slowly, dizzy from the unexpected doze. You stand and shuffle to the door. 

You leave it open as you go into the hall and let your feet guide you. Habit takes down to the bathroom door and you reach for the handle. It turns from the other side and you recoil in surprise. Bucky stops short as he emerges and apologises. 

You stammer as you gape back at him. Somehow after the whirlwind morning, you forgot all that change. In your grogginess, you didn’t see the new walls or the white bookcases or think. 

“S...Sorry...” you murmur.  

You’re consumed in radiating heat as you stare at the stubble along his neck. Any lower and he might be embarrassed. He is shirtless after all. You’ve never been the best at looking people in the face but you have no choice. You examine his silver-streaked hair, slightly tussled, and his grizzly beard with its dusting of white along his chin. 

You step back as he raises a palm and dips his head. “No problem. Gotta get used to each other, I guess. Bad timing, is all.” 

“Right,” you agree dully. 

He looks back at you and his forehead creases. “You okay?” 

You wince. “Yeah, why?” 

“Nothing, nothing. Just... you look... a little out of it.” 

“I fell asleep,” you run your fingers along your throat nervously. The motion catches his eyes. Their startling blue hue gleam in the light. 

“Right. I figured you needed it. Long ride...home.” His gaze flicks up to meet yours. “Sorry you’re stuck here with us boring old people. You probably miss it already.” 

You shrug, “not really.” 

“Not really? What about your friends?” He rests his hand on the door frame and leans. 

“Didn’t... just study buddies. Classmates.” You look away and shift as your bladder aches. 

He clears his throat and stands straight. He steps out of the frame and you jump at his sudden movement. He touches your hip to keep from colliding with you and sidles by. 

“I’ll just get out of your way, baby girl,” He squeezes, his hand lingering for a moment. “Welcome home.” 

He lets go and turns, strutting down the hall as you stand frozen. You hurry forward and shut yourself in the bathroom as you scramble with the sudden agonizing pang. You don’t have time to think, you have to go! 

[myosotisa]

deep end - s.h.

Steve Harrington x Reader

‖ summary: You and the gang have a pool day and some bad memories come up.

‖ tags: angst, hurt with very little comfort, post season 4, everyone lives (but that don't mean they ain't got trauma lmao), no y/n, no pronouns, reader is referred to as "honey". depictions of PTSD, anxiety/panic attacks. tw for fear of drowning. past tense? present tense? the fic is tense, that's for sure.

‖ word count: 2k

Today, May 6th, 1986, was a good day.

Up until very recently, most of the days had not been good at all. Spring break had done a number on all of you – nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks. Some worse than others.

But today was a good day.

At least, until it wasn't.

Summer sun had invaded Hawkins and left everyone sweating and seeking shade after even a few minutes outside. AC blasted indoors and opened windows begged for a breeze to come through and bring some solace from the heat. The community pool was packed shoulder to shoulder and nearly impossible to get into – but that was fine.

Because Steve Harrington had his own pool.

Eddie, Lucas, Dustin, and Max were all already in the suburban backyard by the time you showed up with Robin. Steve had joined the other boys in the shallow end to start up a game of chicken – Dustin on Steve’s shoulders and Lucas on Eddie’s. Max sat on the pool’s edge with the water up to her shins, not able to get in further with the cast still on her right arm, and rolled her eyes as her friends tumbled over and into the water just to get back up again.

Robin went to go and sit by Max while you let yourself into the Harrington home, a container of drinks destined for the fridge just inside. By the time you had them chilling and pushed back out into the oppressive heat, Steve had pulled himself out of my pool to wait for you.

“Hi honey,” he said with a sticky sweet smile, ducking in to press a kiss to your cheek and dripping water on your cover-up.

“Hey handsome,” was your easy reply, Steve's smile lighting up further at the compliment. You called him handsome all the time and he still reacted like he'd never heard it before.

“Harrington, come on!”

His smile fell slightly as he rolled his eyes, shrugging at you before jogging back over to the pool.

You were just about to pull out your book and set up on one of the deck chairs when Nancy and Mike pushed through the fence gate.

More happy greetings, a hug from Nancy, and some chatting about the things she'd brought with her. Mike stripped off his shirt and shoes before walking over to the pool steps beside Max, submerging to his chest as he watched the others continue their game.

Robin came over and helped you and Nancy blow up the 3 inner tubes she had brought – Robin having to rescue you both with her superior musicians lungs. She quickly claimed the green dinosaur float, falling into it in the water as Dustin and Mike started to squabble over what kind of dinosaur it was supposed to be.

While you had originally grabbed the unicorn float, with it's pink hair and blue horn, you were quick to notice the longing glances from Nancy and offered a trade. She never would've ended up asking for it – she thought it was too childish to actually want the unicorn float – but you didn't miss the giddy grin on her face as she traded with you and settled into the pool a lot more gracefully than Robin.

So, with your strawberry frosted donut float and book in hand, you laid out on the sticky plastic and began to roast beneath the summer sun.

You and Nancy both had paperbacks cracked open while Robin seemed content to attempt a nap beneath her shades. Max busied herself by using a foot to gently push your floats around like a slow and lazy game of bumper cars. Mike finally succumbed to peer pressure and joined in with the boys playing with a volleyball toward the deep end and everything was good.

Everyone was smiling and laughing. Warm and lazy with the heat of a good, summer day.

Focused on a particularly intense chapter, you hardly noticed someone approaching your float until a wet chin draped itself over your arm.

Steve was looking at you with that lovesick smile again, his hair wet and pushed back as his tan skin glowed beneath the golden rays. “Enjoying your book?”

“I am, thank you very much.” But still, you placed it down on your stomach and turned your attention to your pretty boyfriend. “Are you having a good day?”

“Might have a couple bruises tomorrow, but not a big deal.” He hooks a wet arm over the side of your float, anchoring himself to you, and the skin along your thigh breaks out in goosebumps from the sudden brush of water.

“Steve, that's cold!”

He barely conceals a laugh, grin growing wider, before he tilts further toward you. “What, this?”

Was the only warning you got before he shook his head out like a dog, water flying from the ends of his hair and sprinkling all over you.

You nearly squealed, shoving him off and shouting about him getting your book wet, even though the smile on your face betrayed you.

After a few minutes of insisting it was funny as you fake pouted, and then Steve giving you some pathetic puppy dog eyes, you accepted his half hearted apology and settled again – one hand intertwined with Steve's as he held onto your float.

“Nance seems fine,” he said quietly, bringing your attention to the brunette. You had told him earlier you were worried about today, about bringing her back to the pool she spent two years barely able to look at, but she seemed perfectly at ease on her unicorn float. Just slowly turning page after page as she continued through the fantasy romance novel you’d lent her last week.

“Yeah,” you agreed, exhaling a relieved sigh, “I'm glad. She deserves it, y'know? We all do.”

Steve's hand squeezed yours, bringing your attention back to him on your other side. “You're the best, you know that, right?”

Not expecting the compliment, you got slightly flustered with the praise. “No, that's you,” you joked with a light flick to the tip of his nose.

He released your hand in mock offense, pushing your float slightly away as he put on a dramatic frown. He inhaled to reply, mouth parting, before he suddenly disappeared beneath the surface of the water.

The next few moments played out in slow motion.

In reality, Lucas and Eddie dove under the water to sneak up behind Steve – each of them grabbing an ankle and tugging him under as a practical joke.

To Steve, his heart stopped.

His chest constricted as his heart rate doubled, eyes squeezing shut as the panic gripped him tight and he waited to be pulled through the gate and thrown out on the other side.

Water filled his mouth from his half completed inhale as he was dragged under – his eyes widening and immediately beginning to burn from the chlorine.

But he wasn't in the pool anymore. It was dark; so, so dark and cold. He couldn't see anything through the murky water as he sunk lower and lower. The vice around his ankle held tight as he gave a kick, continuing to pull him back down to hell again.

To you, the world flipped on its side.

The last thing you saw before Steve went under was a flash of panic in his wide, brown eyes. Just like that night, on the boat. When he got dragged down and didn't come back up again.

“Steve?!” Your call is shrill, very quickly panicked as your adrenaline surged and your body tensed for a fight. It gets the attention of the rest of the group but you don't notice – eyes hyper focused on the spot he was before he disappeared.

In reality, you could glance down and see him in the clear water, just barely a foot below the surface. But you're not there in the Harrington’s pool. You're on a boat at Lover’s Lake and the man of your dreams just disappeared into the murky depths below.

“Steve?!” You scream again, rolling off your float and into the cool water, just like you had that night. I have to go after him, I have to get to him.

You vaguely register someone calling your name but you’re diving under, eyes burning instantly as you continue to look at Steve.

Eddie and Lucas have let him go now after sensing some sort of commotion from above, but Steve isn't moving. He isn't trying to swim up, though he is slowly ascending toward the surface. He's completely frozen there in the water, curled in on himself defensively.

You grab him and he grabs you in response, his nails digging into your bicep painfully as his eyes shoot open again. He doesn't even seem to realize its you before the two of you break the surface again.

Steve gasps for air – choking slightly on the water that was still in his mouth – and then starts to cough as he grabs tightly to you with both hands.

Your heart is pounding against your ribs like a hummingbird as your eyes rapidly scan him for the battered bruising across his throat, the blood coming from his mouth. “Steve? Can you hear me? Are you hurt?”

Robin is by your side an instant later, her head and shoulders still dry as she comes around the side to place a gentle hand on Steve’s shoulder while he coughs out chlorinated water.

Steve gives a stuttered nod as the coughing stops and he's able to take another deep breath in, his grip on you loosening to not be so painful as he closes his eyes. His inhales are coming through quickly, his eyebrows drawn together tight like he's in pain.

Your tunnel vision begins to scope out and you catch sight of Lucas and Eddie looking pained and apologetic in your periphery. They're both treading water in the deep end as you turn on them, anxiety and panic filtering out quickly into rage.

“What the fuck is your problem, huh?!” You snap, causing both of them to jump. Lucas's eyes are wide as saucers and Eddie looks like he's half tempted to book it just from the look on your face. “What the fuck kind of trick was that?! Maybe I should pull a gun on you, Lucas, just for fun. Or maybe, Eddie, I'll loop a rope around your neck for a few minutes and see how the fuck you like being reminded of almost dying!”

Both of them wince, drawing back from your outrage, which only makes you want to advance.

“H-honey,” Steve stutters beside you, half scolding and half terrified as he tries to put on a brave face. “It was just a joke.”

You turn your wild eyes back on him, body still reeling in fight or flight mode, as you realize his hands are trembling and the wetness to his eyes isn't from the pool at all. While you could easily continue to scream at them (which, when you're in a rational headspace again, you will feel guilty for), you focus in on Steve.

“Come on, let's go get you dried off, okay?” You offer much quieter, hovering close to him to try to keep you both grounded. He gives another shaky nod and lets you lead him over to the steps and out of the pool.

No one in the group says a word as you wrap him in a towel and then drape one over your own shoulders before sitting both of you down on one of the deck chairs. He continues to tremble slightly beside you as you tuck yourself tightly to his side, resting your head on his shoulder as you try to comfort him (and yourself).

We’re safe here. We’re okay. We’re going to be fine.

Everyone else watches silently as your paperback continues to collect water until it sinks down to the bottom of the deep end.

It was a good day. Until it wasn't.

-

-

-

[queen-in-the-shadows]

Hellevator Captivation Chapter 2

Summary: Chan and his 7 crew members crash landed on Zyloren-9, otherwise known as Earth, and are trying to wire their ship to allow them to connect to a rescue group. Until they take an obsessive interest in a peer who is a little too pretty and a little too innocent. They can bring specimens back for scientific studies, right?

In other words: Chan and the others take a liking to you and decide they want to take you back with them, they just need to connect a rescue ship—and convince you to walk onto the ship without any questions.

Warnings: drinking! (all characters are of legal age); (eventual): yandere; teratophilia; noncon/dubcon; mxm; memberxmember; mmf; VIOLENCE; mentions of murder (none of the MCs die); more warnings on individual chapters. Please feel free to send an ask or message if you feel I miss any warning tags!

WC: 1962

Author's note: Sorry this is so late!!! I am 45 assignments behind and everything is due on the 2nd of December hahaha (pain) but here ya go! It's been done for a while now, I just haven't posted till now ahah

Jisung dragged you into the living room, where it looked like a few of the frat members had set up shop for smoking, and pulled you to sit between Felix and himself around the coffee table. Felix rested his head on your shoulder, talking with Chan about the next character on Genshin Impact and how it looks like Chan, while Jisung had yet to let go of your hand, and you could have sworn you saw him just looking at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.  Slowly, the rest of the boys, plus a few others, filtered in and took up a circle on the rug. Jisung and Chan had been taking turns refilling both yours and Felix’s drinks, and you were pleasantly buzzed by the time that Innie placed an empty bottle on the table, shooting his signature smile, fox eyes and all, at the surrounding group. “Let’s play a game!” As Minho placed shot glasses on the table, enough for all of you, someone suggested playing the game Paranoia, and Minho began filling them with some cheap vodka.  Someone else was passing around a blunt, but between Jisung and Felix, the boys were making sure it stayed away from you, and you saw none of them hitting it either. 

“It’s not from our stash, can’t guarantee it’s good.” You felt Felix’s breath against your neck more than heard what he said, but hummed in affirmation nonetheless. That’s fine, I still have my walk back to the campus dorms after this. You had 

Innie was the first to spin, the bottle landing on a random girl sat across from you at the coffee table. All you see is him leaning close to her ear, a smirk on his face and a blush on hers, before hearing a meek “Chan,” slip between her lips. There’s a distinct difference between before and after she says it, as though she can’t believe she just admitted to whatever it was he asked. The girl flushed red and hid her face behind her hands, and everyone started laughing at her reaction, but whatever the youngest had asked must not have concerned him much, as the man did not drink. Soon enough the game became a mix of drink or dare and paranoia, and next thing you knew it was your turn. 

You glanced around the circle, picking your desired target. Locking eyes with Chan, you chuckled and sat up on your knees, making your way over to the man and leaning into his ear, making sure not to be overheard as you uttered your next words. Perhaps you had a little too much liquid courage by this point, but you would be blind and lying if you said you didn’t find any of the SKZ Frat hot and hadn’t thought about any (and all) of them making their way into your panties– both separately and together.

You pulled back from where you leaned into his shoulder, an evil glint in your eye as you chuckled under your breath before making your way back to your designated spot between Felix and Jisung. Chan could only stare as he watched you making your way back to your seat, his eyes hopefully locked on your ass in the jeans that made it look oh so tempting; you could feel his eyes on you. As you sat down, you stared right back at him, “well? Answer or drink Channie.” You gave the man a smirk as you heard his answer.

“Yes….” He glanced at you, clenching his jaw ever-so-slightly, but the rest of his posture was relaxed. You hadn’t pissed him off, only annoyed him slightly it seemed. At this point, everyone was hanging on to the conversation, wondering just what you had asked him.

“And…? The rest?”

Chan squeezed his eyes closed, his face and ears tinged a bright pink, and sighed out his answer. “Hyunjin…” You let out a sweet giggle, covering your smile ever so slightly. “And Han.” This had you gasping, a small “oh” escaping your lips as you brought your thighs together just slightly, a shiver running through you at the light rasp in Chan’s voice. 

“Okay that’s it I want to know what about me!” Han and Hyunjin both took a shot, and Chan’s blush deepened.

“Oh easy. I asked him if he would ever consider a polyamorous relationship…” The two boys nodded, albeit looking confused as to what that had to do with them. You brought your drink to your lips, your smirk deepening before you continued as they took sips of their drinks, “and who he would bring into the relationship first.” You took a long sip of your mixed drink as both Hyunjin and Jisung sputtered, coughing as they turned from looking at you, to each other, to Chan, and back again. 

You cackled, draining your cup and standing. “I’m going to get another drink, play on and I’ll be back. Anyone need another?” Chan’s face was a deep shade of red, Hyunjin and Jisung now staring at him wide eyed and slack-jawed, with only Felix asking for another drink– sprite with some rum please– and a brownie, and you made your way to the kitchen. 

           As you made your way back to the living room, you ran into Jeongin, who told you he was going to grab some lime, salt, and tequila for some bodyshots to spice up the game. “Spicier than what I was getting started with?” You pouted, your lower lip turned down. Sure, poly relationships aren’t “that spicy” for a party game, but it opens the door to better questions! 

“Ah, ani ani ani, the questions all died down when you stepped away!” 

Ah, you mouthed, nodding and heading back so as to let the younger grab the items. As he returned, the goods secured, everyone got animated about who would be first. “Well, since you embarrassed me, it’s only fair I get a shot at revenge.” Chan pointed at you, his eyes narrowed but a smile on his face as he laughed. He walked over to you, leaned close to ear, his breath fanning over the side of your face and neck as he brushed your hair away from your shoulder. “Who is the most likely to die first in a zombie apocalypse?” Chan pulled away, smiling at you, and you burst out in a full belly laugh.

“Seriously? That’s your so-called ‘revenge’ Channie? Okay, I’ll play. Felix.” As soon as you get his name out, said male is pulling at you to sit down.

           “I want to know, and we’re doing body shots instead, and I choose you, so! Let’s go!” Felix pulled at your jacket, no patience, making you shuck it off, and licked at his thumb, tilting your head to the left with his other hand before rubbing the wetness onto your collar bone and making sure the salt stuck to the skin there. Next a lime wedge was shoved skin first into your face, “Open up, they were washed.” You did as the boy commanded, and he handed you a plastic shot glass, resulting in him receiving a confused look. “Uhm, there’s really only one place it could go, haha.” You pinned the boy with a deathglare, but placed the cup within your cleavage, trying to ignore the blush rising to your cheeks. The next thing you hear is the group counting Felix down, ‘hana, dul, set!’

Felix licked the salt from your collar bone, with you squeezing your hands into fists to hold back from shivering more than you already had. He dipped his head to wrap around the cup between your cleavage, his plump lips skimming the sides of your breasts ever so slightly, pulling a small sigh from you through your nose. Finally, Felix brought his face centimeters from your own, wrapping his lips around the lime wedge shoved between your teeth, your lips just skimming the others before he pulled back and you released the wedge from your mouth. 

This. This was Channies revenge. He had to have known the boys would want to know the question, or something, it had to have been planned! Your brain was working in overdrive, your eyes shut tight, and you were sure your face was beet red as you let out a shaky exhale. 

You’ve known these guys for a year, and yes they’re hot, but they are friends. You can’t go catching feelings or anything besides the usually flirty jokes! This was nothing, it was just a joke. Get it together. I mean, they all probably see you like a sister or friendzoned you anyways so get a grip. Aish… as much as I can tell myself this, it won't change that I’m attracted to all of them.

Within a fraction of second from Felix finishing his shot, you let out a shaky exhale and opened your eyes, flicking them from face to smirking face before meeting Felix’s eyes. “So? What was the question?” Felix was bouncing ever so slightly where he stood from the anticipation.

“Uh… ahah, Chan asked who would most likely die first in a zombie apocalypse.” You gave a sheepish chuckle, rubbing at the back of your neck before rambling off an explanation, “I chose you… mainly because I think you’d feel bad and offer to let the zombie bite you.” The rest of the guys broke out in peels of laughter, Jisung nearly falling off of his chair from how hard he laughed, and Felix was right along with them, a smile across his face and laughing as well. 

It was nearing midnight and everyone was still going pretty hard, plenty of people dancing or making out with each other lining the walls of the frat house. More people had come to join the game after Felix had done his body shot, you opting to just sit and watch the game progress, snug between Chan and Changbin, Felix cuddling across you and making sure your drink was full. 

The next thing you knew, Chan was leaning in your ear, his voice low and nearly angry, his jaw set and fist clenched tight. “I think it’s time you leave now.” 

“I— Chan did I do something? What’s wrong?” You swiveled your head, leaning back towards Changbin so as not to hit him as you did so, confusion sweeping your face. You glanced at the rest of your boys— your friends, seeing the same look taking over their faces. “I.. yeah. Okay. I’ll be going then, yeah? Uhm… Just send a message in the morning or something I suppose.”

Felix had risen off of you at this point, the same angry look on his face as all the others, and you hanged your head, grabbing the rest of your things from where you sat, and rushed to the door. Tears were stinging at the corner of your eyes, they had never treated you that way, something must have happened when you weren’t paying attention. You made the five minute trek back to your door in relative silence, keeping an eye out for your own safety since your usual escort of at least one of your friends weren’t with you. Stepping through the threshold of your dorm room, the tears started slowly, and you made your way to the shower, stripping off your clothes and turning on the hot water to wash up, wiping the few tears that managed to escape your eyes. 

Quickly going through the motions, you get out of the shower and dry your hair, dressing in a comfortable pair of sweatpants with a sweatshirt before climbing into bed and snuggling into your pillow. This will all resolve itself in the morning, it’ll be fine.

All, in fact, was not fine by morning.

Tag list: @yevene @sky-angel101 @cloudieclair @salfetkablog

Persephone's Circle: @moonlightndaydreams @channieandhisgoonsquad @thightswideforhanin @queenmea604 @bethanysnow

[jununy]

Hiiiii I'm really really curious y u picked each pokemon 4 each of the dbd characters and it doesn't look like anyone else has asked so I was wondering if u could explain it?

hey, yes of course i am happy to explain!!

Crystal

espurr - has a ton of psychic power they cant control, i feel like crystal would relate to, with her discovering her powers are more complicated than she thought

espeon - suggested by a couple of people on twitter!! espeons give off a mysterious and standoff-ish vibe thats similar to crystal

she was also the first one I drew and posted so she only has two pokemon Q_Q i want to give her more

Niko

shiinotic - i imagine niko found one of these bad boys while in the woods where she ran into the sprites. she's also got a mushroom themed green outfit in the time loop ep.

togetic - evolved from a togepi from high friendship, and i think friendship is what niko is all about. she has so much love to give! it feels fitting for her to have a friendship based pokemon!

whimsicott - they are mischievous prank loving annoying as hell pests of a pokemon (per their pokedex entries). i like them as representative of the sprites. someone said jumpluff instead but i disagree because jumpluffs aren't considered pests. i think edwin, charles, and crystal hate her whimsicott but niko loves to snuggle her <3

Charles

toxtricity - amped form cause that one gets natures similar to charles (If i had more time i would even map out the pokemon natures, abilities, and move sets they would each have. i played comp pokemon...) toxtricity is also music themed, and has know anger issues, so i think charles would relate to that

scraggy - scrappy little fighter!! also punk-ish. a little guy who gets bullied but will put up a fight. i think charles would love him and want to protect him.

hitmontop - little fighting dude. i like that hitmontop has steadfast ability (incr. speed after flinch), cause i interpret it as getting back up to keep on fighting and protecting those you love, even after getting your ass beat, which is how charles operates.

Edwin

rowlet - on god, this is purely cause of the bowtie. also i think rowlet would keep edwin company while he reads his books very late into the night.

mimikyu - a lonely pokemon who just wanted to be loved. HMMMM. edwin felt its pain and adopted it into his family.

sirfetch'd - suggested by some people on twitter, cause of the actor being a fencer. but also i think edwin would have a pokemon that would protect him, before he met charles.

polteageist - hes a fancy british boy. i know his ass drinks tea with the pinky out. i think he rescued the polteageist during one of their cases.

[fanfreakinfiction]

Listen to the Music

Chapter One: Should've Been a Cowboy

Masterlist 🖤

7.3K Words // Joel Miller x f!southern Reader

Pairing: Joel Miller x younger/southern!reader (Could be video game Joel or HBO Joel. I like the 2003 timeline though, so we’ll just pretend the 2003 timeline is canon for both.) 

Chapters: 

One - Should’ve Been a Cowboy 

Summary: Jackson gets a jukebox which mean’s Joel has to install it! Annoying for him, but exciting for one certain someone who loves music. 

Tags: Multipart, SUPER slowburn, eventual smut, FLUFF, age difference, M/F, canon type violence, drinking, smoking, alchol, reader gives off innocent vibes but isn’t, Joel is grumpy, reader is southern, corny ass music transitions bc i love it, slight mention of religion (reader is from the bible belt), some mentions of smut.

A/N: Set in Jackson - probably a little out of canon but just rollll wit it. This is also a split POV! Also if you love 90s country music you will like this. I made a Tipsy Bison Playlist for you guys to check out where none of the music was made past 2003. 

Jackson was buzzing, quite literally. Every corner you turned, someone was eager to share the latest news.

"Y/n! Did you hear? Jesse and Astrid brought back that jukebox from the ski lodge! They’re gonna fix it up and put it in the Tipsy Bison!" Olivia shouted breathlessly from the stables' entrance, her jet-black hair falling in disarray around her face.

"Hell 'liv, you ran all the way here to tell me that?" You chuckled, taking a break from shoveling muck in the stables. Your Southern drawl emerged breathy and unusual from not conversing with anyone for the past hour. Wiping your forehead with the back of your hand, you greeted the teenage girl with a warm smile as she rushed to embrace you.

"Well, yeah! Mom said you liked music! Told me to come tell you! Said to meet her and Ginger there at 7:00 sharp!" Olivia exclaimed with contagious excitement.

You laughed, returning the embrace and appreciating the bond you'd formed with the young girl over the years.

The first friend you'd made upon arriving in Jackson was Caroline, a slender woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, and a mouth that matched yours. Hugging her hip was a young girl, Olivia, with jet-black hair and the same blue eyes. At the time, Olivia couldn't have been more than seven. In the four years since, Caroline had become like a sister to you, and Olivia like a niece. It was bittersweet watching her grow up, but you’d protect that little girl with your life.

"Well, your momma is right about that," you said, tucking a strand of hair behind Olivia's ear. "And I hate to tell ya, darlin', but Ellie beat you to it. I heard about the jukebox from her this morning." You turned Olivia towards Ellie, who was busy in the back of the stables, hunched over a worktable, oiling an old saddle Mike had found during a recent patrol.

"Ellie’s here?!" Olivia squealed, running off to join Ellie at the back of the stable.

Shaking your head with a laugh, you turned back to your work, the girls' excited chatter filling the stables.

As 6 pm approached, Ellie abandoned the saddle for a conversation with Olivia. Although it irritated you slightly, it also warmed your heart to see Olivia making friends her age. In this post-apocalyptic world, friends were a rare commodity, especially outside of safe havens like Jackson.

You were only five years old when outbreak day happened. Your parents were at work, and you were at daycare. You vaguely recalled your daycare teacher trying to stay calm, but panic eventually overtook her as she locked all the children in the bathroom. Your grandparents, miraculously, arrived to rescue you. Your grandfather, a Vietnam Vet who’d served two tours before leaving the military, was also a grizzled cowboy. He owned a ranch where he boarded and broke horses.

The most vivid memory you had of outbreak day was your grandfather bursting into the daycare with a .308 Winchester in hand, calling for you frantically. You recalled him nearly pulling your arms out as he scooped you up, then handing you over to your crying grandmother. Your grandfather reprimanded the daycare teacher sternly, instructing her to get the kids to a military outpost at the airport and then evacuate Tulsa. The exact words had faded from your memory.

You remembered the scent of your grandmother's perfume as you clung to her while she carried you out of the daycare. Fighter jets roared overhead, and you covered your ears as your grandmother hurried to their old Jeep. Your grandfather opened the passenger door for your grandmother, and she kissed your head. During the two-hour drive from Tulsa, Oklahoma, to his ranch, your grandmother had you play a game called "Keep Your Eyes On Jesus," where you'd focus on the silver cross necklace she always wore. That day marked the end of your life in the city and your chances of making friends. Your childhood died on the daycare bathroom floor.

"Helloooo, earth to Miss Y/l/n?!" Ellie's voice suddenly snapped you out of your thoughts as you continued to organize bridles, leads, and cinches.

You turned abruptly. "Hmm?" was all you managed as you met Ellie's gaze.

Ellie pointed to her empty wrist, giving you a knowing look. “It’s 6:20,” she said, her tone almost teasing.

"Shit," you murmured, quickly shoving tack items back into makeshift storage bins. Ellie laughed as she headed out of the stables with Olivia in tow.

---

Joel was exhausted, bone-deep tired. His knees ached, his back throbbed, and a relentless headache pounded behind his eyes. All this fuss over a damn jukebox.

Now, don't get him wrong; Joel loved music as much as the next person, and he understood why the whole town was buzzing with excitement. But he felt like people were acting as if they'd found a cure for the infection, not an old jukebox.

And yet, there he was, in the Tipsy Bison, helping to secure the wiring for the ancient contraption. A small crowd of men gathered around, drinks in hand, watching him work. Not a single one offered to help, and Joel knew why, but it still irked him to have the entire town gawking at him.

"You got time for leanin', you got time for cleanin'," Joel's dad used to say when he and Tommy were watching him work.

"Will it work?" Seth's voice interrupted his thoughts from over the bar.

Joel responded with a grunt as he connected two wires, causing the jukebox to spring to life. The bar fell silent, and Joel felt a wave of annoyance—or perhaps embarrassment—wash over him as he sensed everyone's eyes on him.

Slowly, he stood up from his crouched position on the dusty floor, his knees cracking in protest. He examined the jukebox, its lights aglow with a soft, white hue. However, the interior glass was so filthy that the song list was barely readable. His gaze fell on a doorbell wired to the coin slot. Joel pressed it once, his eyes scanning the various lettered and numbered buttons.

"S2," he mumbled to himself, thinking of Sarah as he hovered over the letter. With all eyes in the room on the back of his head, he slowly pressed the buttons into the old metal board of the machine, each button emitting a satisfying 'click.'

Silence enveloped the room, followed by a whirring sound.

Please don't make me look like a fool in front of the whole town, Joel silently pleaded, not caring to whom he addressed his thoughts—God, Satan, or Buddha.

Another click, more whirring, and then the old jukebox started singing like a canary.

"I'm in a hurry to get things done 

Oh, I rush and rush until life's no fun 

All I really gotta do is live and die 

Even I'm in a hurry and don't know why…"

The room erupted into cheers and hollers as the song "I'm in a Hurry" by Alabama filled the space. Joel released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. A hand clapped his shoulder, followed by another pat on his bicep, as various townsfolk expressed their gratitude. He grunted in response, uncomfortable with the attention. He couldn't help but think he preferred it when the town treated him like some cryptid.

"Joel... drinks are on the house tonight. I think this'll be the busiest night since we found that Bud Light truck," Seth said, crossing his arms and standing next to Joel to admire his work. Joel shifted uncomfortably but nodded his thanks to the man.

"So, uh, how does it work with no coins, I mean?" Seth asked, looking at the old doorbell attached to the wiring coming from the coin slot.

Joel let out a soft huff. "That there is the 'coin,' per se. Push it however many times for however many songs, but… I'd maybe limit people to three," he quipped, attempting dry humor.

Seth smiled crookedly. "Yeah, I'd hate to hear the same shit twenty times in one day."

Joel sighed. "Yeah, let me see what I can do about the glass, and it'll be nearly new."

With that, Joel carefully worked the glass out of the jukebox, his eyes widening slightly as he pulled back the grimy cover. He didn't know what he had expected, but this jukebox seemed like a unicorn. As he pulled back the filthy glass, a list of songs greeted him—mostly country music, some '80s hits, and a few oldies like Frank Sinatra. Seth whistled softly behind Joel's right shoulder as the music filled the cozy bar.

"Can't be late, I leave in plenty of time 

Shakin' hands with the clock 

I can't stop 

I'm on a roll, and I'm ready to rock…"

———

The snow crunches beneath your boots as you speed walk through the snow towards your tiny cottage on the outskirts of Jackson. It was a modest two-bedroom, one-bathroom house, but it had a porch with a breathtaking view of the mountains. The unusual emptiness of the streets at this hour suggested that most of the town's residents were either at the Community Kitchen or the Tipsy Bison.

Almost slipping on your porch steps, you chuckled to yourself, attributing it to the icy snow. Unlocking your front door, you immediately shed layers of clothing in a trail leading to the bathroom. Excitement pulsed through you as you started the shower, envisioning the possibilities that the jukebox might hold. Maybe it would play Johnny Cash or some new Alan Jackson track you hadn't heard before. Alan Jackson held a special place in your heart.

Thoughts raced as you hurried through your shower, eager to join the buzz of the town. Drying your hair hastily, you searched for your special occasion jeans. They were a pair of dark-washed Levi's, the kind you'd nearly sold your soul for at one of the general stores. They hugged you perfectly in all the right places and, most importantly, were clean—devoid of stains or blood.

Pulling them up over your hips and buttoning them up, you checked yourself out in the mirror. A dark red sweater with a v-neck and your patrol boots completed the look. You adjusted the silver cross necklace around your neck, a memento from your grandmother, and heard her voice echo in your mind.

"Just keep your eyes on Jesus, baby… we're almost to the ranch."

Breaking your reverie, you felt ready to head out for drinks and music. Slipping into your coat, you ventured out into the sunset-lit, snow-covered streets of Jackson. The Tipsy Bison came into view after a short walk, and your excitement threatened to burst from you. The line outside the bar, however, crushed your spirits.

"No way..." you muttered, coming to a halt. The entire town seemed to be here. You watched from a distance, scanning the crowd until your eyes landed on a blonde-haired woman nearing the front of the line. She turned and made eye contact, flashing a wild smile as she waved you over.

There was a hint of apologetic awkwardness as you joined your friend. Some people in line shot you dirty looks for cutting, but it’s not like the bar’s gonna grow legs and walk away. 

"About TIME!" Caroline exclaimed, enveloping you in a warm embrace as you met her outside the bar. "Ginger's already inside; she got us a spot at the bar!" Her excitement was contagious.

"Sorry! I had to go home and change. I didn't wanna come out smellin’ like a horse," you apologized, returning the hug.

"Oh honey, a shower doesn’t change that," she teased, playfully elbowing you.

"Caroline!" You gasped, feigning offense, and lightly elbowed her in return.

Curious, you peered into the bar, attempting to glimpse over the tall men in front of you. Music wafted out, and you heard the buzz of chatter as people walked in and out.

“It’s a shit ton of Country music," you overheard someone say as they walked away, "Well, what’d you expect from a ski lodge in Wyoming in 2003?” came the retort. Caroline shot you a knowing look, and you suppressed a smile.

The line gradually moved forward, and you stepped into the warm atmosphere. Caroline hung up her coat, and you couldn't help but shoot her an envious glance at her overly dressy top – a pink silk halter tied tank top that accentuated her figure beautifully.

“The hell’d you find that?!” You asked, a mix of curiosity and a hint of jealousy in your voice. It made her cleavage stand out, and it seemed perfectly timed as an unfamiliar song started playing from the jukebox, capturing everyone's attention.

“Her hair was Harlow gold 

Her lips a sweet surprise 

Her hands were never cold 

She had Bette Davis eyes…”

Being on your own for so long after your grandparents had passed had made you lose a sense of pride in your appearance. But being in Jackson, surrounded by other women again, ignited that desire to care once more. Caroline had been instrumental in helping you rediscover your femininity, teaching you how to braid your hair and transform dull button-ups into something more womanly. Caroline had been a high school senior when the outbreak happened, with a life and dreams you couldn't relate to. She aimed for Harvard, wanting to be like Elle Woods from a movie called "Legally Blonde." Those aspirations had seemed foreign, considering your upbringing on the Ranch, where your grandfather taught you to care for animals, garden, hunt, fish, and, of course, how to shoot – and shoot well. 

Caroline was the first person to make you question your beauty, to make something seemingly frivolous in the apocalypse feel essential.

"I believe that caring for myself isn’t self-indulgent, but rather an act of survival," Caroline had told you when you questioned the worth of bartering for old Avon makeup from the general store.

Caroline took your hand, pulling you toward where Ginger had miraculously saved some standing room at the bar. You hardly noticed as your gaze fixated on the Jukebox, where a line of people awaited their turn to pick a song. Your heart sank a little; you didn't think Caroline or Ginger had the patience to wait for you to choose a song.

Stepping up to the worn wooden bar, you were greeted by Seth's crooked smile. "Be back with ya in a minute, ladies," he said, his old hands moving as fast as they could to serve the bustling crowd.

"Bout time!" Ginger exclaimed as you turned to her. "I didn't think Seth'd let me save space any longer," she added with a laugh, her eyes scanning your and Caroline's outfits with admiration. "Damn girl! What'd you have to sell for those?!" She playfully ran her hand over the material of your jeans.

You rolled your eyes dramatically. "Oh, you have NO idea!" you began, but before you could continue, Seth returned.

"Two whiskeys, please," Caroline ordered for both of you, prompting you to resume your story. "You wouldn't believe it, okay..."

"Here we go..." Caroline rolled her eyes, and you playfully nudged her. Ginger hadn't heard this story before, and you were eager to share.

"I was rummaging through a house right after I'd left the ranch, and I found a Walkman! Battery-operated and a whole box of cassettes," you explained as Seth brought the whiskey back. Ginger listened intently as you continued. "I picked up some of the names I recognized from the pile. I ended up with like 10 tapes and a whole pile of batteries!" You took a swig and leaned on the bar top, facing Ginger, while Caroline leaned on your shoulder, clearly having heard this story many times before.

"Who were the tapes of?" Ginger asked, taking a swig of her dwindling beer.

"So I had an Alan Jackson cassette, I had a Shania Twain cassette, hmm oh! Johnny Cash's greatest hits, which were technically four tapes, one Journey cassette, George Strait, and then I even found a Marty Robbins tape!" You listed the tapes off, trying to recall them all.

"Sooo? What's this got to do with those Levi's?!" Ginger asked, laughing.

"Well, damn, hold on, sister, I'm tryna set the story up!" you retorted with a laugh.

"Anyways," you continued, "one day I'm navigating some thick woods. My headphones are around my neck, and I still have the music goin'. Well, I clipped the Walkman to the hip of my pants, and this fuckin' infected came outta nowhere!" You gestured dramatically with your hands. "This thing fuckin' leaps on me and pushes me up against a tree—"

"—crushes the Walkman!" You and Caroline said in unison, and all three of you burst into laughter, drawing the attention of others in the bar.

Tears welled in your eyes from laughing as you recounted the memory. "I'd never been so fucking mad in my life!" you recalled, trying to catch your breath. "I also haven't cried as hard since the day I lost that thing," you said dramatically as you took a drink. "Almost wish it'd bitten me instead of killin' my fuckin' Walkman," you added bitterly.

"Well, what did you do to it?" Ginger asked curiously.

"The infected? Oh. I fuckin' stomped that thing's head in," you deadpanned, throwing Ginger and Caroline into another fit of laughter. "Like... a lot," you repeated, deadpan again as you took another drink. "Fuckin' thing destroyed my Alan Jackson tape...anyways, I held onto the tapes, maybe out of bitterness. But once I got to Jackson, I traded the tapes for the jeans." Ginger made an "Oooh" sound, nodding as if she now completely understood.

Caroline tapped you on the shoulder, about to say something, when the sound of a very familiar song filled your ears, and you had to bite back the squeal that threatened to escape.

"It's Alan Jackson," you said, your eyes gleaming with a serious excitement that caught Ginger's attention.

"Come on," you said, pulling Caroline with you onto an opening in the bar floor as the chorus hit. You pulled her into a two-step, a dance you had seen your grandparents do every year on their anniversary.

"I should've been a cowboy 

I should've learned to rope and ride 

Wearin' my six-shooter, 

ridin' my pony on a cattle drive 

Stealin' the young girls' hearts 

Just like Gene and Roy 

Singin' those campfire songs

 Woah, I should've been a cowboy…"

You sang unabashedly, as if you, Caroline, and Alan Jackson were the only ones in the bar. Your head threw back in laughter after Caroline begrudgingly tried to match your steps. After a moment, you were so engrossed in your dance that you didn't even realize other people had joined in, dancing to the music. Ginger laughed from her spot at the bar as she watched your and Caroline's forgotten whiskeys.

———

Seth had been right. This was the busiest Joel had ever seen the Tipsy Bison. Brooding in the corner of the bar, tucked into a dimly lit table, Joel sat, nursing his fourth glass of free whiskey.

Shit. If Seth was offering, he wasn't gonna say no to free drinks.

Joel's tired eyes scanned the room as he tried to determine who he recognized and who he didn't. His gaze landed on a particularly familiar set of eyes. Tommy.

He watched as Tommy approached the secluded table, offering a crooked smile to the man.

"Big bad Joel fixed the jukebox?" Tommy teased as he sat down across from Joel.

"Did it for the free drinks," Joel retorted, attempting to deflect the sudden unwanted attention, his face flushing as he averted his brother's gaze.

"Well… you may have just earned some points with Maria," Tommy said with a genuine smile.

Joel smirked back. "Guess something good did come from this after all." He could feel the whiskey settling deep in his chest as he spoke to his brother.

Tommy glanced around at the crowd, but a roar of laughter snapped both of their heads toward the bar. Three women stood a few feet away, listening to one woman tell a story.

Joel narrowed his tired eyes. He didn't recognize the woman engrossed in her story. However, he did recognize the blonde with the revealing pink blouse. She scanned the patrons of the bar like a hawk, looking for her next prey and obviously uninterested in her friend's story.

The woman had approached Joel two days after he arrived with Ellie, asking to bum a cigarette and then bombarding him with a thousand questions as she batted her eyelashes at him. Her name was something like Karen, he couldn't quite recall. But when another bout of laughter reached his ears, his gaze locked onto your form, now less hidden behind the woman with her back to him.

He watched almost mesmerized as you laughed and smiled. Pretty, was the only thing his brain could manage. Suddenly, your face became very serious as you said something that made the two girls howl in laughter.

Tommy cleared his throat after an awkward silence, and Joel realized he had been completely caught staring at you. Their eyes met, and his little brother looked like he was about to say something smart, but Alan Jackson's music broke Tommy's focus.

"Holy shit! I forgot this song existed!" Tommy exclaimed with a nostalgic laugh.

Joel's attention was drawn back to the bar by another bout of laughter. Except, now, you had migrated to the middle of the room. Your arms were placed perfectly on the blonde chick as you began dancing. The blonde appeared obviously embarrassed by the sudden change, making a face of disdain. You laughed, the sound caressing Joel's ears, and he felt something stirring in him. Maybe it was the whiskey, but deep down, he knew it wasn't.

He and Tommy watched carefully as more patrons began to crowd the space, joining in the dance. Tommy let out a huff of laughter, his eyes now focused on the scene. As the song ended, everyone clapped, and Seth, the bartender, felt it appropriate to make an announcement.

"Everyone, thank Joel on your way out! He fixed up the jukebox," Seth declared, and a wave of applause and stares washed over Joel.

Joel could feel a flush creeping into his face at the attention. He cringed inwardly as all he could manage was a stupid smirk while looking down at his whiskey glass.

"Jukebox Joel!" someone in the crowd cheered, and Tommy choked on the beer he was drinking. Joel delivered a swift kick to Tommy's shin.

"Haha! What? Come on… it's better than Jackass Joel," Tommy laughed with a smirk as he teased Joel.

Joel actually let out a soft chuckle at that and shook his head as he looked back down at his empty glass. "Prick," Joel muttered softly as he glanced up at his little brother. "I'm gonna go get another." With a sigh, he pushed himself up from the table and made his way toward the bar to get another drink.

———

"I'm gonna go have a cigarette. Save me a spot!" Caroline swiftly moved to grab her coat, leaving you and Ginger at the bar.

Ginger looked at you. "So how's the stables?"

"Mmm, they're fine. I've recently gotten some help from this teenager, Ellie," you replied as you finished off your whiskey, paying no mind to the man who muscled in on Caroline's vacant space behind you.

"Is she a good help?" Ginger asked as she also finished off her beer.

"Depends on the day," you said with a soft laugh. "She's a great listener, just a little poor on the completion side of things. Like today, I asked her to oil this saddle Mike brought in from a patrol. Olivia stopped by to see me, and sure enough, Ellie just ended up talking with her for the last hour of the day. It's like she won't shut up. I swear, these outbreak babies are somethin' else," you added with an exasperated sigh. "She's a good kid, though. Smart as hell. I'm just mad I'll have to get up early to finish oiling the saddle before patrol." You finished with a final smile as you looked up to make eye contact with Ginger, who appeared as if she'd seen a ghost. She wasn't even looking at you but over your shoulder.

"Ginge?" you asked worriedly, placing a hand on her shoulder to shake her a bit.

"I'm gonna go grab a cigarette," she said hurriedly, shaking your hand off her as she all but ran out of the bar, leaving you standing there stunned.

In an instant, your senses tingled with the presence of an imposing, commanding figure emanating a cocoon of warmth from the shadows behind you. A shiver of anticipation raced down your spine, and a cascade of goosebumps rippled across your skin as you executed a deliberate, almost theatrical pivot to meet the piercing gaze of none other than Joel Fucking Miller.

———

If Joel had a dollar for every face he'd seen turn away from him in fear, he would've been a millionaire twelve years ago. But nothing felt as satisfying to him as watching your little friend scamper off to leave you with him.

He waited patiently for you to turn around before he spoke. His eyes drifted from the back of your head, tracing the contours of your figure, to rest on the soft curve of your ass. The sight made his breath hitch, and his gaze locked onto a familiar little red tag that stared back at him—Levi's.

Fuck  he thought to himself. Those must've cost a pretty thing like you a whole lot.

After what felt like ages, you finally turned to meet his gaze. Your soft, youthful face surprised him. You were young, younger than him, maybe even younger than Sarah would've been.

Your lips parted slightly as you gazed up at him with your fucking doe eyes. His eyes traveled south from your lips to the silver cross around your neck. He cringed internally, his gaze shifting away from your neck as he signaled to Seth at the bar.

"Mr. Miller..." Your voice fell warily from your lips, carrying a soft southern accent that caught his ear.

Joel grunted softly. "Mhmm," he replied, waiting for Seth to bring his last whiskey of the night. He had to force himself to look away from you.

"You're… Ellie's dad?" Your voice sounded sheepish, not in the usual "I'm scared of you" kind of way he was accustomed to in this town, but in a "I messed up" kind of way. He spared a glance at you, noticing how you fidgeted with your hands and struggled to make eye contact, trying to look up at him apologetically.

"Mhmm," was all Joel settled for after a long pause. Your face paled, and he had to look away to keep from laughing.

"I am so sorry, Mr. Miller!! Ellie has been a great help, and I'd love for her to st—" You sounded panicked, and he didn't like it.

"Kid's got ADHD or somethin'. Can't finish anything she starts…unless it's food or a sentence," the words flew from Joel's mouth before he could process what he had just said. Seth rounded the bar at that moment and handed Joel his whiskey.

Joel took the glass and was about to take a sip when your giggle froze him in his tracks. It wasn't a laugh or a chuckle, but a full-blown giggle.

"Haha! She is very food motivated! Sometimes I catch her going for the sugar cubes that are meant for the horses," you laughed as you spoke to him. Joel looked down at you with a crooked smirk, sipping his whiskey as he turned his attention back to his glass.

"Well… uhm, I should probably..." Your voice trailed off with a hint of uncertainty, and from his peripheral vision, Joel could make out a flush on your cheeks as you tried to awkwardly excuse yourself from his presence.

"You let me know if she gives you more trouble..." What the hell was he doing? Was he actually talking right now or was it the whiskey? Slowly, he turned to look at you, his left arm resting on the bar as he slowly set his glass down, shoving his right hand in his belt loop. You were flushed, perhaps you'd had too much to drink? Or maybe it was... nah. He looked into your eyes, his gaze searching yours for a moment before dropping to that stupid silver cross on your neck. He wanted to rip it off your neck while burying himself deep inside you. Your voice brought his attention from your neck and his thoughts to the present, where he stared into your eyes.

"Yeah… I, uh... I will." You almost sounded confused and curious. You were biting your lip, your face still flushed, your hair framing your face perfectly. He had to stop himself from grabbing you by the back of the head and forcing himself on you. "Thanks for fixin’ up the jukebox..." Long gone was the shy demeanor as your words came out like sultry silk. You stared back at him seriously, and he could tell you were being genuine. He tried to swallow the sudden dryness the whiskey had left in his mouth. His aching back and throbbing knees from fixin’ the damn thing long forgotten as he rolled your thanks around in his head.

Damn.

He grunted in response and, with a white-knuckle grip on his whiskey glass, he forced himself to walk away. He passed by you, his form squeezing around yours in the crowded bar as people danced. He forced himself to look straight ahead when your left shoulder grazed his chest as he nudged past you gently. He slinked his way back to his table in the corner, where Tommy and Maria now occupied two of the four chairs.

As soon as he approached, they eyed him and stopped talking almost immediately. Tommy spoke up first with a smirk. "So uh..."

"Shut it," Joel snapped, his words coming out harsher than he had intended, and Maria huffed.

"Be nice. You're on my good side for the night. Don't make that change before I've even had a chance to enjoy it," she glared at him. Leave it to Tommy to pick a hardass for his wife.

"She's nice, Joel, but... she's young," Maria said with a sigh.

He felt angry heat flicker in his belly, replacing the momentary desire. He glared at Maria, who stared right back at him, and he felt his jaw tighten, his teeth grinding.

"Hon, why don't we go dance... enjoy it while we can?" Tommy's voice rang out, and for once, Joel was thankful for his baby brother.

He watched carefully as Maria reluctantly agreed and let Tommy lead her away. Tommy shot Joel a knowing look as he disappeared into a sea of people. Joel settled back into his seat from before, his eyes scanning the now dancing and raucous crowd.

Unconsciously, he found himself searching for you, scanning the spot where you'd stood with your friends, but it was now occupied by some other men.

———

"What the fuck, Ginger?!" You spat harshly as you confronted the two girls who were practically shivering outside, puffing on a shared cigarette.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? You were runnin' your mouth about the scariest man in town's daughter!" Ginger retorted, a mischievous laugh escaping her lips. "I wasn't about to stand witness to you getting your teeth kicked in!" she added, taking another drag.

"Wait, you saw Joel Miller?!" Caroline chimed in as she put out the cigarette.

"Saw him?! She damn near insulted his daughter in front of him!" Ginger laughed, and you could feel your cheeks redden.

"I didn't know he was behind me! You could've said something! I had to apologize, standin' there like an abandoned idiot!" You playfully frogged Ginger on the arm, your accent growing thicker with anger.

"Ow!" Ginger winced as she rubbed her skinny arm through her leather coat.

"Wait, you actually talked to him?!" Caroline asked as if it were an impossible feat.

"Well, yeah. I felt kind of bad… Ellie is a good kid, she's just very talkative," you explained, crossing your arms to ward off the cold.

"And he talked back?" Caroline continued her interrogation.

"I mean if you can call a couple of pig-like grunts talking, then yeah, I guess," you replied with a shrug.

"Hmm…" Caroline offered as she gave you a once-over. "Come on, let's get back inside." She headed into the bar, with you and Ginger following behind.

The night passed fairly uneventfully, save for a few men asking for a dance. Caroline, as usual, was the star of the night, charming most of the men into buying her drinks and joining her on the dance floor. Ginger cozied up to a man you recognized from the kitchen, someone she had been with before. You were starting to feel the fatigue kick in when you realized the line for the jukebox had drastically shortened. Excitedly, you made your way to the magical machine, your eyes scanning the list of songs. You were in awe of the extensive selection: Journey, Patsy Cline – one of your grandmother's favorites, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and some you didn't recognize at all, like Linda Ronstadt, ABBA, Earth, Wind & Fire…

You didn't even notice a presence near the bar, watching as you scanned the list in awe. Your fingers guided you, pressing the doorbell button connected to the coin slot, as you had watched so many people do all night. 

Your fingers grazed over the letter "J" for Joe—Jesus. "J" for Jesus, you mentally reprimanded yourself. Then you moved to a number, "5," your age on outbreak day. You listened to the machine click and whir in amazement. Unsure of the song title or the artist, you waited to hear the first chords.

"Came in from a rainy 

Thursday on the avenue 

Thought I heard you talking softly 

I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio 

Still, I can't escape the ghost of you..."

Leaning on the jukebox, you listened to the foreign song by a band called Duran Duran. The lyrics suddenly made you feel melancholic as you absorbed each word.

"What has happened to it all?

 Crazy, some'd say 

Where is the life that I recognize? (Gone away)"

———

Joel couldn't help himself. He wanted to blame the whiskey, but deep down, he knew he wasn't even close to drunk. From his spot at the far end of the bar, he watched as you walked up to the damn jukebox. You looked like a kid on Christmas, that twinkle in your eye, just like Sarah when he threw her a surprise birthday party with all her friends, or like Ellie at the Museum…

He watched you hesitate when it was your turn to pick a song. His eyes drifted to those Levi's, like they had been poured onto you. The way they clung to your curves made his mind wander. He imagined himself coming up behind you in his kitchen while you prepared to cook something that he had hunted. His chest tucking into the curve of your back while he pressed his hips into the curve of your ass. The thought shot an arrow of fire straight to his groin. Fortunately for him, Maria's voice echoed in his head. "She's nice, Joel... but she's young." He knew Maria wasn't bullshitting him about that. You hardly looked the same age as the women you hung around with.

His gaze shifted from the curve of your hip to the profile of your face. From this angle, he could watch your eyes scanning the song choices. He wondered what you would choose and, for a fleeting moment, told himself that if you picked a slow song, he'd have to ask you to dance. He watched your face crinkle slightly as you read through the songs, likely because you didn't recognize most of them. Sipping his whiskey, he waited to see the outcome.

He observed as your fingers grazed the buttons until making their final destination. He couldn't help but imagine what those fingertips would feel like grazing his body in the same tender way. Your smile lit up when the jukebox whirred to life, and he released a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding when the song "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran began playing. It was an odd choice, he thought to himself.

The semi-familiar song filled the now-dwindling bar. Couples still danced, others nursed their beers, and some chatted. His eyes remained locked on your face as you listened intently. He could tell you had chosen the song on a whim, not knowing it. He sat and watched as the once-childlike wonder on your face slowly dissolved into a heartbreaking frown, one that he had seen a hundred times before on different women's faces.

Heat rose on his cheeks as he watched the blonde from earlier drunkenly sling her arm over your shoulder. Suddenly, he felt like a creep for watching you for so long. He turned his gaze back to his now-empty glass as Seth came over to offer him another. Politely declining, Joel stood up slowly, adjusted his coat, and, feeling a pang of regret, he slipped out the side door of the bar.

"But I won't cry for yesterday

There's an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive"

———

"Come on, kiddo… time for you to walk me home," Caroline hummed in your ear, her arm slung around you. Her alcohol-laden breath pulled you out of your self-wallowing music session. You slid your left arm around her waist, providing some balance as she leaned her head on your shoulder.

"My dad loved Duran Duran…" Caroline slurred into your neck, and a shiver ran down your spine. She had only mentioned her father once before, and it had been followed by a request never to bring it up again. Hastily, you changed the subject and led her to the entrance of the bar to retrieve her coat.

You grabbed her dark purple barn coat and draped it around her shoulders, making sure she was bundled up, then zipped up your own coat tightly. Caroline took your hand as you began to walk, leaning heavily on you. It had to be late because as soon as you stepped outside the Tipsy Bison, you felt your hair freeze. Both your and Caroline's breath fogged up the space in front of you as you surveyed the mostly empty streets of Jackson. Caroline's house was on the other side of town, and you mentally prepared yourself for the chilly walk ahead when Caroline made a mumbled noise into the crook of your neck.

“‘S lookin at you all night..” she murmured as you helped her navigate the snow-covered streets.

"Hmm, darlin'?" you asked, guiding her carefully.

"He was lookin' at you!" she repeated, a bit louder this time.

Confused, you adjusted your hold on her to prevent any accidental slips that could bring both of you down in the snow. "Who was lookin'?" you inquired, but she didn't reply. Suddenly, she went limp in your arms, and you let out a soft yelp at the abrupt change in weight.

"Carol?!" you called, trying to stifle a laugh as she put her full weight on you. "Shit. How much did you drink, darlin'?" you groaned, realizing that you were going to have to carry her home.

The walk across town to Caroline's house had left you wide awake. After taking her shoes off and tucking her into bed alongside a peacefully sleeping Olivia, you left the house quietly, ensuring the door was locked behind you. Stepping back out into the night, you were greeted by the sight of the quiet town, blanketed in snow with darkness settling in. A shiver ran down your spine as you took in the serene atmosphere.

You began your journey toward your own home, which lay on the opposite end of town. However, as you walked, your thoughts wandered back to the saddle that Ellie hadn't finished oiling. Despite your tiredness, you knew that if you went home now, you'd simply lay in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep. With a sigh, you turned on your heel and headed back towards the stables, your hands shoved deep into your pockets to ward off the cold.

As the stables came into view, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. The door was ajar, and a soft light spilled out from within. You knew you had closed up for the night, and the thought of leaving a kerosene lamp burning in a barn full of hay and the town's most prized mode of transportation was, unthinkable.

An uneasy thought crossed your mind; maybe it was Maria or Tommy, someone needing to head out for a late-night patrol. However, such occurrences were rare unless there was an emergency. With cautious steps, you entered the stables as quietly as you could, your senses on high alert.

To your chagrin, you found the horses calmly chewing on the hay you had left for them hours ago. The pit in your stomach deepened as you scanned the area, trying to discern any signs of an intruder.

"H...Hello?" you called out, your voice sounding uncharacteristically shaky even to your own ears. You couldn't help but think sarcastically, Oooh, very threatening. In that moment a thought crossed your mind that maybe Jackson was making you soft. You stood there, waiting for a reply, but there was none.

Confused and still on edge, you carefully followed the source of the soft lantern light. It led you to the back of the stables and into the tack room, your footsteps echoing softly in the enclosed space.

There, almost right where Ellie had left it, you saw the saddle that Mike had found on his patrol. However, what caught your attention in the dimly lit room was the unmistakable sheen across the leather. It gleamed in the lantern light, catching your eye immediately. It had been fully oiled, a stark contrast to the untouched condition it had been in earlier when Ellie had been working on it.

Confusion wracked your body; did Joel make Ellie come back to oil the saddle? Your fingers gingerly rubbed the leather between your fingers. No, this wasn’t Ellie’s work; this was oiled to perfection. Ellie was a good kid, hell, a great kid considering all the other children who’d grown up in this hellscape, but she oiled saddles like she was pouring syrup on pancakes. No, this had been done by someone with skill and experience.

A soft smile crossed your face as you reached for the lantern. Maybe Joel Miller wasn't the monster your friends had told you about after all. You'd have to ask Ellie in the morning. 

As you stepped out of the barn, relocking everything up for the night, you couldn’t shake the warm feeling in your gut. A feeling you hadn’t felt since you’d eaten your last meal with your grandparents... a feeling that scared you.

Unbeknownst to you, a dark figure across the street watched from the shadows, illuminated only by the orange glow of his lit cigarette as he leaned against a column under the roof of the general store. Joel took a drag from his cigarette as he watched you relock the barn for the night. He tried to tell himself the warm feeling in his chest was from the cigarette he'd been puffing on, but he knew better.

Joel took one last drag from his cigarette, flicked it to the ground, and crushed it beneath his boot before heading home, maybe something good came from that damn jukebox after all… he thought to himself as his eyes followed your form walking off into the snowy darkness of Jackson.

[daydreamingmia]

ROADTRIP WITH WALKER PART 1

Walker Scobell X Reader | Series | You Belong With Me🔱 Part 3

You woke up and started packing your bags for the road trip! You, Walker, Leena, your mom and sister were going on a road trip together. You rented a big van so everyone had space. You get dressed when you get a text.

Your outfit and luggage⬇️

You pick up your phone and see a text from Walker

You run to the front door and see Walker leaning against the wall on his phone.

"Took ya long enough" he said with a fake eye roll.

He went upstairs to your room and grabbed your suitcases.

"Do you think you packed enough?" He said struggling

"Oh! I almost forgot!" You get a duffel and your purse from your closet and stack it on top. Now you can only see his eyes. He tries to walk out your door but walks into the wall.

"No no. I don’t need any help thanks." He says sarcastically (Persassy)

You roll your eyes and grab him arm leading him downstairs and to the van.

"Ooo! Barbie suitcases!" Leena (Walker's sister) said and she hugged you.

"Of course!" You say like it obvious with a smile

You and Leena were very close. Like sisters! You were BFFs and both of you were very excited for the trip!

"Is that all your bringing?" She says winking and you messing with Walker

"No. I rented another van and driver so they can drive my stuff!" I said playing along

"No kidding! Me too!" She said laughing

Walker rolled his eyes and put all your stuff in the car.

<INSERT SEATING CHART>

The van had screens in the backs of every chair.

"Awesome!" Walker mumbled sitting down.

---

The first stop was starbucks. Everyone got drinks. You got y/f/d and Walker got a cake pop. You were talking to Leena when he took you drink and had a sip.

"That's good! I should get that next time!" He handing it back to you like nothin

"Theif!" You yell

"Theif lover!" He shoots back laughing

A couple minutes passes of fun and talking.

"What music do you want to play?"

"TAYLOR SWIFT OF COURSE!" Leena yelled excited

"YEEESSSS!" You say connecting four phone to the van's speakers.

Just because you're BFFs with Taylor doesn't mean you can't love her music!

"YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE'S UPSET SHE'S GOING OFF ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU SAID CAUSE SHE DOESN’T GET YOUR HUMOR LIKE I DO!" You and Leena screamed at the top of your lungs.

Walker secretly took a video of you two and posted it on his story.

"What is a road trip without You Belong With Me?" He posted as the caption

It was hours of Taylor's amazing music Leena started to fall asleep so you turned the music off so it wouldn't bother her. You open your phone and saw what Walker posted.

"Hey! I didn't even notice you took a video"

"I'm was very very sneaky" He said with a mischievous grin

You when saw a text from Taylor.

"You wanna play mario kart?" You asked Walker

"Of course!" You pulled your Nintendo out of your bag and set up the controllers.

"Mine car us defective!" He complained because he was loosing

"OR maybe it's the person driving it" you say sarcastically

He fakes offense and takes your controller

"Hey!" You yell trying to get it back

"I win!" He says smiling

"You cheated!" You said pointing in his face

"You're a sore looser!" He said as he handed the controller back to you.

You turn on Revenge of the Sith and Walker looks over jealous.

He takes on you your airport and puts it in his ear.

You roll your eyes and cuddle up next to him. He puts a blanket over the two of you and you fall asleep as Anakin and Obi-Wan rescue Palpatine.

-

"Wake up y/n!" Leena yelled getting out if the van.

"Why?" You mumble kinda out if it

"We need snacks" She says grabbing her phone

"SNACKS!!" You yell standing up and running out of the van. You didn't notice Walker pout. He gets out if the van and closes it behind him and runs after you guys.

"Jolly Ranchers, Air Heads, Twix, chocolate chip cookies...what are we forgetting?" You ask Leena

"OREOS!!" Walker runs up to you holding 4 boxes.

You roll your eyes and we go to checkout. There was a sonic next door so you guys go and get slushies. You walk back to the car with everyone's arms full of candy.

"Oh my gosh" your sister said looking up from her phone "They had Jolly Ranchers?! Give me some!" She said taking the candy from your pile.

It was a few won Mario kart games later...we arrived at our first destination. YELLOWSTONE!

A/n: Sorry this chapter took to long. I have been really busy with school. I hope you like this chapter😁

[straykittenidk]

Could you write something based on ambers intial reaction to see roy being flustered for the first time? or hcs on it

Imagine she doesnt expect it because roy usually puts on this cool and brave face :)

Of course! ^_^

(sorry if it's so late I was pretty busy with school)

(also it's Christmas based because I just miss Christmas and because I found such a cute Royber picture on Pinterest it's a shame not to use it)

"ARE YOU BLUSHING?"

It was just a regular Christmas Eve at Broomstown.

A holiday awaited all year by many.

How could anyone not love Christmas?

I mean, you don't have to go to work or go to school, you can drink hot chocolate, wear cute hats and gloves, build snowmen, have snowball fights, and, most importantly,

You would get lots of presents from Santa! (Or from your closest friends, if you're not a child anymore.)

And yet, even on this day, the newly funded "rescue team" of the town couldn't relax.

"You guys, we really need your help. The current vehicle that was in charge of setting up the Christmas tree is sick! And guess what that means..."

"Let me guess: it means that we gotta do it ourselves... Yeah, can't wait."

"Well, it is our job after all. We can't be mad..."

"Our job? You mean setting up Christmas trees?" Helly asked, sarcastically.

"I mean making sure we help the town in any way that we can, including setting up Christmas trees if needed, Helly."

"We better get to work fast, then! The tree is huge, and Christmas is already tomorrow!"

"Right! Instead of complaining, we should focus all our strength on working!

"You're both so motivated it makes me feel even more unsure about this..."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn a thing or two from them, don't you think?" Poli teased with a small chuckle.

"Hey! Stop teasing me! I said I was unsure, not that I wasn't going to do it at all!"

"Quiet, you two!" Jin exclaimed, interrupting their little banter.

Then, with an annoyed sigh, she turned her attention to Roy and Amber, and said:

"I do appreciate the enthusiasm, you guys, but setting up the tree isn't all! We also need help placing all the gifts of EVERY citizen down there, and so we really need a Santa Claus that would kindly do that. Well, Two Santas, given how many gifts there actually are..."

"Oh! Well, that's not really a problem is it? We'll just divide in two groups! Two of us set up the tree, and the other two go pick up all the presents!"

"Seems like a plan."

"Ahem, two groups of two? What about me?"

"Right, well, what we meant to say was one group of two and one of three, of course, hahaha...!" Roy awkwardly laughed, trying to keep Jin from getting angry exploding like always.

Jin crossed her arms, but felt satisfied after she was included in the activity.

Without pressing on the issue even further, she said:

"Anyways, let's just make these groups and get straight to work. Me, Poli and Helly will be in charge of the Christmas tree, since Helly can fly, Poli's the strongest one in our team and I'll watch over them to make sure they're doing everything right. Amber and Roy will go pick up the gifts from the Post Office and bring them to us. Is that okay?"

Everyone agreed,

"it's settled then. Oh, and, Roy, Amber, grab these hats!" Jin said, as she grabbed two Christmas hats from her bag and threw them at the two.

"Are you sure we need to wear these? How is this necessary?"

"It's the rules, you're Santa, you gotta wear the hat! Or do you want me to get the white beard for you as well?" Jin teased with a smirk, getting a giggle from Amber.

"Haha, no, no... I was just asking. The hats are pretty cute, anyways. Right, Roy?"

Roy looked at Amber and smiled warmly at her, nodding his head

"Yes, they're pretty warm and comfortable."

"Glad to hear that, you two. Now, off you go!"

Roy and Amber quickly drove away, leaving the headquarters and heading together towards the Post Office to retrieve all of the presents.

"Jin, you know I'm not the strongest of the group, it's definitely Roy... So why did you-"

"So Roy could go alone with Amber, duh!"

"Wait, so that's... That's like... Oh... Oh! You mean it's like a secret Christmas date?!"

"Took you long enough!"

"Wait... So are the hats also-"

"Yeah, I lied. They aren't necessary, I just wanted to see them with cute matching hats."

"But when I lie then suddenly it's not okay, huh..."

"Hey! In my defense they're so cute together yet SO oblivious it makes me mad! I just want them to realize their feelings and kiss already!"

"yeah, they should really confess to each other, but it also isn't good to rush them. It needs to happen naturally, we just gotta give those lovebirds some time."

"Let's see how this date goes then! Hopefully they won't just stutter and awkwardly talk over each other like last time!"

___________________________

"Oh dear..."

"I didn't expect there to be so many!" Roy exclaimed, as he and Amber looked at all the piles of presents scattered across the office.

"Well, let's start. The sooner we begin the sooner we finish."

Roy nodded, and together the started to grab the presents 5 at a time and putting them on a cart that they would have to bring to the others.

"Amber, how are you going to spend the Christmas holidays?"

The ambulance smiled slightly, without taking her eyes off her work.

"Well, I don't really know... I was thinking of just spending it quietly at home, with some friends and family. You know, the usual." She answered.

"Oh, I see. Well, my family couldn't make it to Broomstown this year, so I guess I'll have plenty of free time on my tyres..."

"oh, I'm sorry to hear that... Why couldn't they come?"

"Well, they were just too busy. I mean, both of my parents work, and they have my little brother to take care of, so they just couldn't make it here for Christmas."

Amber stayed silent for a bit.

"it must be tough being so far away from your family, I couldn't imagine that."

Roy laughed.

"Well, it isn't as awful as you may think. Yes, I miss them sometimes, but I'm doing just fine here! Haha..."

Amber frowned, but didn't say anything as she placed some more presents on the cart.

She could see right through him.

"You know, you don't have to pretend like you're always okay. At least, you don't have to do that around me, Roy."

Roy stopped in his tracks, caught completely red-handed.

"W-what? I'm not pretending, I really am just fine! Look-"

"Roy."

Her voice turned stern for a moment, but with a soft undertone. She wasn't having any of that, and Roy could tell. He knew her well, and as it turned out, she knew him as well, perhaps even more than he knew her.

"I-I..."

"It's okay if you don't want to talk right now, but I just..."

She stopped, as she turned her gaze from the work to her best friend, now facing him directly.

"I just worry about you, okay?"

As she said that, Amber approached Roy and gently held both of his hands, that were already cold from the chilly winter weather.

As he felt her fingers brush against his palm, he felt a shiver run down his spine, and he felt his cheeks turning a warm, flushed red color.

He blushed.

"Amber, you... you really do..?"

"Of course I do! Does it look like I don't? You're my best friend, I care about you a lot, you know?"

Roy stayed silent for a few minutes, still processing what he just heard.

She cares about him. She knows he isn't fine,

Because she cares.

She was so close to him he felt like he was about to explode.

"I-I'm... Y-you, I mean, thank you... You're the best girlfr-... Er.. I mean friend I ever had Haha.. ha... ha."

Amber looked at him with warmth, until her gentle expression turned into a smug smirk.

"Aww, are you flustered?"

Roy almost jumped, letting go of Amber and slapping them immediately on his cheeks to try and cover it up.

He really was loosing his cool, something that rarely ever happened to him before.

"I..."

Roy sighed, knowing that he couldn't change the subject Anyways.

"How could you tell right away? Am I really such an awful liar...?"

"Not at all, you are a pretty good liar, I must admit." Amber praised him and patted his shoulder, as she spoke "But so am I. Liars know liars, you could say."

Roy blinked twice in surprise.

Amber, the nicest, most kindest most beautiful soul in the whole world, was a good liar?

"You? A... liar?"

"Yeah, I knew you'd be surprised. I don't like lying, that's why I rarely do it, but that doesn't mean that I don't know how to, once in a while."

"Wow, I... I never knew that about you."

"Well, now you do! You're the first person I told this to, actually."

"really?"

"mhm, really."

Silence. Roy was still shaken up from earlier. He felt ashamed of being so vulnerable in front of amber, he felt weak and useless.

"I'm... I'm really sorry that you had to see me like... this." Roy shyly said, in embarrassment.

"But Isn't that a good thing?"

"Huh...?"

"You showed me the real you. Not some fearless and heroic firefighter, but the real you, so I did it in return. Now we're even. That makes us even closer than before, isn't that amazing?"

"I... I guess It is..." Roy's answers were short, and a bit repetitive, because he was so nervous he couldn't even come up with a proper answer.

Amber smiled warmly, and then she looked at Roy's head.

Without saying anything, she came closer, and without asking she adjusted the Christmas hat that was about to fall.

"And besides, I like this side of you. It's genuine, and cute." She whispered softly, as she looked directly into Roy's eyes.

Roy blushed even harder now, and Amber obviously noticed, since she let out another soft giggle.

But this time, Roy didn't cover it up.

He was flustered, but not embarrassed.

Because he could trust Amber just as much as he could trust his family, or Poli.

She was his best friend, or, maybe even something more...

Amber was so beautiful, he couldn't even think straight.

After adjusting the hat, she stepped away from Roy to give him some space, as she went back to work.

"...Oh, Amber! About my family..."

"hmm?"

"Could I... maybe, tell you about them another time?"

"Of course, whenever you want to. I'm always willing to listen."

She smiled again, and this time, the first thing Roy thought was that she was more beautiful than all of the stars behind her.

"Now let's finish with this tiresome job, Santa! The others must be freezing while they're waiting for us!"

"Haha, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

[crypticjackal13]

Can I request a (post redemption) Fluffy & flirty lmk Macaque x fem reader? (A oneshot or scenario, whichever one you prefer.) With reader being the daughter of a Demon of Music/the arts. (Plus she’s good friends with the hero gang)

but Macaroni didn’t know that she could sing (or that she has feelings for him) until Everyone’s at a party and she steps up to the stage. And he’s just like 🤯😍

But when the party’s almost over she starts singing “Love you like a love song” by Selena Gomez. All while looking directly into Mac’s eyes with a hopeful blushing smile on her face.. because she was far too nervous to confess to him any other way..

When I was a kid, Love You Like A Love Song was my JAM so this is all kinds of nostalgic for me 😍

"Love Song" (1488 w.c)

Post Redemption! Macaque x Fem! Reader

Romantic oneshot

Pronouns: she/her

CW: none?

Tonight was your night. You were dressed to the nines, with your hair and makeup done and by the gods, you were on a mission. Tonight was karaoke night with the gang, which included Sandy, MK, Mei, and as extra supervision, Macaque.

You’d had your eyes on the dark haired monkey ever since he started showing up on a consistent basis. You two had some common interests and he admired your spunk, opting to playfully flirt with you often. You rarely flirted back efficiently, however his reaction was always a laugh or tripping, so you honestly had no idea if he understood that you were being genuine.

So your goal was to pick your favorite love song and sing it just for him, and hope that those six ears would actually listen rather than just hear.

You and the others entered the place and found Sandy and Macaque, who had gone in to reserve your spot. First, you all ordered some stuff to eat and drink, before you started picking out the songs you’d be singing. Macaque insisted he’d just be on the sidelines tonight, since he’d already been using his voice doing his shadow plays earlier in the day. So MK and Mei went first, and you all had a good time as they sang their hearts out. Sandy and MK did a joke entry of “I’ll Make A Man Out of You”, which they did great with. Then it was your turn.

To say you were nervous going up to the microphone was an understatement. But the music began and you gulped as you cast your gaze at the screen for now.

It’s been said and done

Every beautiful thought’s been already sung

And I guess right now, here’s another one

So your melody will play on and on, with the best of ‘em

You looked over at Macaque, who was listening as he ate some of his food, but not looking at you.

You are beautiful, like a dream come alive, incredible

A centerfold miracle, lyrical

You saved my life again

And I want you to know, baby

He had looked up a bit, and you thought you saw his tail swaying.

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat

Finding some confidence, you were definitely singing to just him. You could see Mei nudging MK and whispering.

Constantly, boy you played through my mind like a symphony

There’s no way to describe what you do to me

You just do to me, what you do

And it feels like I’ve been rescued

I’ve been set free, I am hypnotized by your destiny

You are magical, lyrical, beautiful

You are, and I want you to know, baby

You saw those golden eyes dilate and his cheeks become dusted with pink as he leaned forward with his chin in his hand.

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby(I love you, I love you, like a love song)

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat

You held onto that microphone like it was a lifeline, keeping you grounded to the stage lest you float away. There was no one else in the room except for you and Macaque.

No one compares

You stand alone, to every record I own

Music to my heart, that’s what you are

A song that goes on and on

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby(I love you, I love you)

I, I love you like a love song baby(Like a love song, like a love song)

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat

I, I love you like a love song baby

I, I love you like a love song baby(I love you, love song, baby)

I, I love you like a love song baby(I love you, love song, baby)

And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat(I love you, I love you)

Like a love song

You finished with a smile on your face, feeling proud of yourself as you put the microphone back and took a little bow. Your friends all applauded you, save for Macaque, who was still wide eyed and staring ahead. Your confidence faltered…did he not like it? Oh gods, what if he didn’t like you that way?

You took your seat a little further away from him and kept to yourself, even though the others complimented you on your singing abilities.

At the end of the night, you told your friends you’d just walk home. They were hesitant, but said that you should text the group chat once you got home safely. When you agreed, you left, and let yourself go. How could you have tried confessing your feelings like that? You should’ve just been direct with him, he would have understood better.

You were so distracted that you didn’t notice your shadow morphing and moving out of tune with your movements. It waited for when you stopped at a corner to check your directions before Macaque popped out.

“Hey there. Thought you might want some company.” He tapped your shoulder, making you jump.

“Don’t scare me like that! What if I tried to hit you?” You caught your breath. He laughed.

“I’m sure it’d be a nice effort. But you wouldn’t hit little old me, would you?”

You rolled your eyes at him and kept walking, but slower. Your heart was racing—he went out of his way to walk with you?

“That was quite a show you put on back there, huh? I didn’t know you could sing that well.” He complimented. You blushed.

“Thanks. I did my best to impress.”

“It paid off, if you ask me,” he took one of your hands gently with his own, and you felt how cold his hands were compared to yours. “I can always appreciate some good showmanship. Especially from a pretty sight like you.”

“Takes a good showman to know one, huh?” You winked at him and were absolutely delighted in the way he almost tripped over his own feet.

“What else I took notice of,” he cleared his throat to change the subject. “Was the song you chose.”

You gave a hum in response, prompting him to continue.

“Listen. I was definitely apprehensive around you at first. But since we’ve gotten to know each other, I’ve been…happier. More than how I’ve felt the past few years.”

You matched his walking pace and let him keep talking. It seemed that he had a tangled ball of string in his head that he was trying to work out with each sentence, and you could faintly see the other end of it.

“It’s been hard for you to trust anyone. I understand that.” You stopped at a corner, waiting for the crosswalk sign to change.

“Right, exactly. You get me. But now, I trust you. I’d fight for you, I’d write for you. At the end of the day, I know that if you asked me to do it, I would give everything up for you.”

“Are you sure this walk home isn’t to sober you up?” You joked. You two continued on, merely a block away from your home by now. He kept running his hands through his hair.

“I really like you, okay?! I’m usually really good at words, you know that, but for some reason when I look at you, it's just—“ he put his hands over his face as you two came to a halt. He took hold of your hands, and it was a blessing and a curse to him that he found himself falling apart over you as a person. You, who took the time out of your own schedule to get to know him and in turn share things about yourself.

“I want to be with you. I love you, y/n, and I hope you can forgive at least some of my stupidity for not seeing the signs sooner.”

You couldn’t help it, but maybe it was the look in his eyes like he was a stray cat in need of a flea bath and plenty of food, that made you want to hold his face in your hands. He instantly shut up and tensed.

“I love you too, Mac. And for your sake, I’ll let some of your stupidity slide.”

[novaonhere]

Silly Jedi

Relationship: Cal Kestis x f!reader

Summary: Both being raised in the Jedi Temple, you and Cal never understood the idea of “crushes” or being attracted to someone. As you’ve gotten older and now seem to have found each other after the terror of that day, Cal doesn’t know how to react.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Jedi Survivor spoilers/gameplay twister to fit the story

A/N: First post! Not my first time writing, it’s just been awhile. I hope you all enjoy! I’ll open up requests once I figure out how to do that. There is a bit of background, only to really set the scene.

Prompt: “I think I’m allergic to them.” “Why would you think that?” “Because every time I’m near them I can’t breathe and I get really sweaty and hot.”

(gif not mine)

————————————————————————

Dashing into the cantina, (Y/N) glides in between customers, with the occasional “excuse me, pardon me.” She hopes behind the counter, ignoring Greez’s glare on her back as she puts away her bag.

“What have I said about being late?” Greez crosses both sets of arms, tapping his foot. (Y/N) turns around, a grin on her face.

“Who else would you hire to take care of-“ She cuts off eyeing a Bedlam Raider, sipping a drink, eyeing you. “These wonderful customers!” You smile, heading towards the sink to wash your hands. Greez scoffs, exiting behind the bar to socialize with his customers.

You begin taking more orders, making drinks, and of course dissociating into your own little world in your head. Originally, you weren’t even supposed to be on Koboh. This was supposed to be a pit stop for you and your crew. You couldn’t help but feel a strong presence, a need, to stay. Maybe it was the fact you were tired of running, tired of having to flee, tired of putting those who had rescued you ten years ago at risk daily.

“Here you go, on the regular tab?” You ask a regular, who nods and thanks you. Smiling, you look over behind the counter to double check your bag was still there. You didn’t have much stuff in there anyway, just one major thing that would definitely cause an uproar to everyone in here. You begin to take more orders and craft drinks. You’ve been here for, what, a year? You mostly explored the planet, seeing what Koboh had to offer. It wasn’t until months ago you stopped here and Greez needed a set of hands. You liked him, and another sense of needing to stay here swept over you. Now, you bartend in the afternoon into the night, and stay up, exploring and watching the night sky. For what? You aren’t sure, you’re more on survival mode for now.

“Ah! Turgle, what can we get you?” Greez greats the alien. Turgle shakes his head, obvious sweat dripping down his face.

“I’m alright, just waiting for someone.” Turgle responds, waving to you. You wave back, continuing to make drinks. Suddenly, large footsteps echo outside, making their way towards the front door. Greez raise an eyebrow at Turgle, who only starts to shake. The door opens, revealing Rayvis, one of the Gen’Dai warriors on Koboh, along with some backup. Greez walks back behind the counter, grabbing your bag and handing it to you. Without making a face, you slip it on, and continue making drinks, keeping a close eye on the encounter ahead of you. Obviously Greez knows what’s up with you and your bag, you’re so attached to it.

“Ahhh, Turgle! I heard you have something for me.” Rayvis grins, his yellow teeth baring towards the much smaller alien. Turgle nods, pulling something out of his pocket. It’s quite thin, almost rectangular. You didn’t get a good enough look before Rayvis snatched it up. One of his back ups handed Turgle a small pouch, assuming of credits. Before anyone had time to process what was going on, Turgle ran out of the cantina.

Something weird flickered in your head, a strange, but familiar feeling. You haven’t been able to use this ability for quite some time, out of practice. But, it felt familiar, so familiar. Without must thought, you pulled this metal cylinder out of your bag and stuck it in your back pocket. Greez stared at you, wide eyed.

“NO!” Rayvis screamed, rushing outside, along with his backups. You jump over the counter, following. Greez stays inside, making sure no customers follow or in danger themselves.

You step outside, the sun baking onto your face. Holding up your hand over your eyes, you stay close to the door, behind the Bedlam Raiders. You can’t physically see what’s going on, but you listen to Rayvis scream and complain that it’s fake. Turgle whines and pleads. Then, a very familiar sound fills the space. Is that… a saber?

Down each backup goes, with each one down, more of the figure, presumably a Jedi, is shown. First, just their shoe, then, a freckled hand covered in scars. Then… red hair? You flick your lightsaber into action, stabbing the closest raider to you. He crumbles to the ground. Rayvis, shocked, turns around and sees you, with your (insert color) saber glowing and at the ready.

“Ah, two Jedi’s! Oh this will be fun. I will leave in peace now. Here, I don’t need this.” He tosses the object Turgle gave him towards the other Jedi. Your eyes follow, landing on a familiar face. Rayvis stalks away and you continue to stare, sheathing your weapon.

“Cal?” You call out, the man whips his head towards you, his eyes widening. A small BD droid hops off his shoulder walking over to you. You don’t pay too much attention, your eyes just staring at your old friend.

“(Y/N)?” He asks, taking a step closer. You smile, walking towards him as well. You meet, wrapping your arms around each other tightly. He rests his head on top of yours as you bury your head in his shoulder. He’s all grown up. He’s tall, has grown out his fair, has facial hair, and a pretty built frame. You remember him much shorter, with more of a boyish grin. Those elements are still there, but you’ve both grown so much.

“I thought you didn’t make it out.” He pulls back, his hands on your waist, holding you as if he was imagining you. You give a soft smile, staring back at his dumbfounded and exasperated expression.

“I didn’t think anyone made it out.” You respond, running your hand through his hair. “I like the hair.” His ears pinken, letting you go. The BD droid chippers, scanning your feet and slowly making his way up. “Oh, hello.” You smile. “Do you want to scan my light saber?” The droid chippers happily as you set down the saber on the ground.

“That’s BD-1, of BD for short.” Cal explains, smiling at his droid. He turns his attention to the object Rayvis tossed his way. You turn away from the droid and back to Cal.

“Turgle, the alien that you saved, gave this to Rayvis inside the cantina. Greez was a bit skeptical of what was happening.” At the mention of his name, Cal looked up, smiling. “Do you know him? Let’s go inside.” You grab the saber as BD crawls back onto Cal’s back. You lead the way, feeling Cal’s stare burning onto your back.

God, how long has it been? Years easily. You both were best friends at the Temple in your youth. Inseparable. Whenever you went, he went. Wherever he went, you went. You just clicked, talking about everything and anything.

Cal sighs, adjusting his collar, clearing his throat as well.

“Hot? There’s cool air inside, go ahead.” You open the door, motioning for Cal to enter. He nods, thanking you. You notice as he walks past, sweat is dripping down the sides of his face, his ears still pink.

“CAL?” Greez shouts, running from behind the counter. They have their moment, greeting each other and catching up. You sit off to the side, not wanting to disrupt. You watch the pair talk, your eyes and mind wandering.

Cal had really grown up to an attractive young man. The red stubble really brought out his light eyes, which always reminded you of the bright stars in the sky. He had rolled up his sleeves, showing his toned arms, along with freckles and as many scars. Who knows what he’s been up to, but obviously giving someone hell. A large scar went across his face, very faded by this point. You couldn’t help but have the faintest smile.

“(Y/N)?” Greez asks, pulling your attention away. “Could you please get my friend here some water?” You nod and walk towards the back to grab a canned water. Tap wasn’t the best here.

—-

“Greez, I haven’t seen her for so long. But just like when I was at the Temple, I started getting these weird feelings. I think I’m allergic to them.” Cal whispers, watching (Y/N) go into a back room.

She’s really grown up. Her face has aged a bit, but still has that youthful smile. Oh those eyes, they could light up any room. Still as confident as ever, she was ready to join in on the fight without batting an eye. Cal couldn’t stop smiling when he laid eyes on her.

Greez rolls his eyes “You can’t be allergic to people, at least I don’t think so. Why would you think that?” Cal stands up straight, wiping his hands on his pants.

“Because every time I’m near her I can’t breathe and I get really sweaty and hot. I mean, the cooler air in here is not helping at all.” He wipes his face with the collar of his shirt, showing Greez the sweat soaked parts. Greez chuckles, grabbing a towel behind the counter and throwing it Cal’s way.

“Get ahold of yourself,” He laughs at Cal dries his face again. “Probably just your puppy love mode acting up.” Cal’s ears pinken even more, spreading to his cheeks.

You walk back in with a bottle of water, noticing Cal’s bright red face.

“Hey, didn’t realize the Koboh heat was hitting you that hard. Here,” You hand him the water. “Let me grab you a cold towel.” BD chirps, as Cal taps him on the top of the head a bit roughly. His entire face is now red. Greez laughs, leading Cal to the back.

“Silly Jedi,” Greez smiles as they walk past (Y/N), who hands the beet red Cal a cold towel. Cal kicks playfully at Greez’s ankle and thanks you for your kindness.

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

lyrics that only a tortured poet could write

(pt 2)

i am someone who until recent events you shared your secrets with // and your location, you forgot to turn it off // and so i watch as you walk

old habits die screaming

i move through the world with a heart broken // my longing state unspoken // and i may never open up the way i did for you

you said i needed a brave man // then proceeded to play him // until i believed it too

was it hazing for a cruel fraternity? // i pledged and i still mean it

now i wanna sell my house and set fire to all my clothes // and hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons // even if i die screaming // and i hope you hear it

i hear the whispers in your eyes // i'll make you wanna think twice // you'll find that you were never not mine

pick your poison, babe, i'm poison either way

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leavin' here with you

wise men once said // "wild winds are death to the candle"

cross your thoughtless heart // only liquor anoints you // she's the albatross // she is here to destroy you

wise men once said // "one bad seed kills the garden" // "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen" // locked me up in towers // but i'd visit in your dreams

and when that sky rains fire on you // and you're persona non grata // i'll tell you how i've been there too // and that none of it matters

wise men once read fake news // and they believed it

spread my wings like a parachute // i'm the albatross // i swept in at the rescue

if you wanna break my cold, cold heart // just say, "i loved you the way that you were"

i changed into goddesses, villains and fools // changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

down that passage in time back to the moment // i crashed into you, like so many wrecks do // too impaired by my youth to know what to do

could it be enough to just float in your orbit? // can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

we hereby conduct this post-mortem

and so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

come one, come all // it's happening again

we learn the right steps to different dances

lost the game of chance, what are the chances?

guess who we ran into at the shops? walking in circles like she was lost // didn't you hear? they called it all off // one gasp and then: how did it end?

say it once again with feeling // how the death rattle breathing // silenced as the soul was leaving // the deflation of our dreaming // leaving me bereft and reeling // my beloved ghost and me // sitting in a tree // D-Y-I-N-G

i can't pretend like i understand ... i still don't know // how did it end?

i feel so high school every time i look at you // i wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

i'll drink what you think and I'm high // from smokin' your jokes all damn night // the brink of a wrinkle in time // bittersweet sixteen suddenly

are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? // it's just a game, but really // i'm bettin' on all three for us two

i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind // people need a key to get to, the only one is mine // i read about it in a book when i was a precocious child // no mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears // i'm there most of the year 'cause i hate it here

i hate it here so i will go to lunar valleys in my mind // when they found a better planet, only the gentle survived // i dreamed about it in the dark, the night I felt like i might die

i'm lonely, but i'm good // i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine // i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and i'll get lost on purpose // this place made me feel worthless // lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me // and in my fantasies, i rise above it

everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman // but she used to say she wished that you were dead

i wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool // i built a legacy that you can't undo // but when i count the scars, there's a moment of truth // that there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you

and maybe you've reframed it // and in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue // i don't think you've changed much

a feather taken by the wind blowing // i'm afflicted by the not knowing

i look in people's windows // transfixed by rose golden glows

does it feel alright to not know me? // i'm addicted to the "if only"

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope // a greater woman wouldn't beg // but i looked to the sky and said please

cards on thе table // mine play out like fools in a fable // oh, it was sinking in // slow is the quicksand // poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand

and i sound like an infant // feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen // a greater woman stays cool // but i howl like a wolf at the moon // and i look unstable // gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table // a greater woman has faith // but even statues crumble if they're made to wait // i'm so afraid i sealed my fate // no sign of soulmates // i'm just a paperweight in shades of greige // spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay

when the first stone's thrown, there's screamin' // in the streets, there's a raging riot // when it's "burn the bitch," they're shrieking // when the truth comes out, it's quiet

i was in my tower weaving nightmares // twisting all my smiles into snarls // they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you aware" // what happens if it becomes who you are?

they knew, they knew, they knew the whole time // that i was onto somethin' // the family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line // they all said nothin' // blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll // bet they never spared a prayer for my soul // you can mark my words that i said it first // in a mourning warning, no one heard

said you were gonna grow up // then you were gonna come find me // words from the mouths of babes // promises oceans deep// but never to keep

are you still a mind reader? // a natural scene stealer? // i've heard great things, Peter // but life was always easier on you than it was on me

we both did the best we could do // underneath the same moon // in different galaxies

and i won't confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn

love's never lost when perspective is earned

forgive me, Peter, please know that i tried // to hold onto the days when you were mine // but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

and i can confirm she made // a curious child, ever reviled // by everyone except her own father // with a quite bewitching face // splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless // excellent fun 'til you get to know her

but as she was leaving it felt like breathing ... as she was leaving it felt like freedom

all her fuckin' lives flashed before her eyes // it feels like the time she fell through the ice then came out alive

and at first blush, this is fate // when it's all roses, portrait pose // Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats // what a charming Saturday // that's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards // and she just knows she must bolt

buried down deep // and out of your reach // the secret we all vowed // to keep it from you in sweetness

you got the dragonflies above your bed // you have a favorite spot on the swing set // you have no room in your dreams for regrets // (you have no idea) // the time will arrive for the cruel and the mean // you'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline // but now we'll curtail your curiosity

i'm not a donor but i'd give you my heart if you needed it

and the years passed like scenes of a show // the professor said to write what you know // lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward // then the actors were hitting their marks // and the slow dance was alight with the sparks // and the tears fell // in synchronicity with the score // and at last // she knew what the agony had been for

now and then i reread the manuscript // but the story isn't mine anymore

[emimayooo]

Emi in Japan (2024) – June 7th to June 9th

(Link to previous entry.)

Hey guys,

I've had such a fun few days! Days full of good food, nature, and animals. I can't wait to tell you all about it.

But first, here are the highlights:

I posted a new galeheart fic! It's a fairy tale au I wrote for the galeheart first times event way back in late April, but I finally posted it. It has, predictably, ballooned into a multichap lol but I'm happy with the result :)

My mum and I discovered a local café that's only opened on the weekends. We loved it so much we went both days!

Goats, cats, and even more cats, oh my! Went to an agritourism farm and an open shelter cat rescue. Very fun. Very stinky.

Anyway! Onto the details:

June 7th

June 7th was pretty chill! My mum and I went shopping in the morning. I bought a very handy dandy bag where I can store my wallet, pocket wifi and phone in, that straps around my body. Super convenient for going out with just my necessities.

Here’s a photo of me and the bag, on another day! I just love it.

Afterwards, we went to a sushi train place. Each plate of sushi cost around 100 yen. How cheap is that?!

When we got home, I think we just napped lol. I dedicated my evening to writing, which went well! I was so nervous to post fic since it had been a while, but then I got such lovely comments! I’m glad I pushed through my doubt and just posted the damn thing :)

June 8th

In the morning, my mum and I went to this local cafe that only opens on the weekends. The walk over was so refreshing, with the weather being just perfect. We walked past farms, old Japanese houses, the river my mum nearly drowned in when she was four before my grandma pulled her to safety lol, and finally, we arrived at the cafe.

We took our seat on the porch. I’m so glad we did: we were right in front of the flower garden where we could watch the little butterflies and bees do their job. It was so relaxing. I must read here sometime.

Mum ordered the soup set, which came with veges and onigiri, as well as a cup of coffee. I had the waffle set with the ice cream and red bean. For my drink I had the best iced tea I’ve ever had in my life, oh my goodness it was so good! Apparently, this cafe specialises in herbal teas. I’ve got to try it some of these days, if even their iced tea was this good! Anyway, here are some pics of the cafe:

On our walk home, we passed the local agritourism farm and decided to go in. Since it was Saturday, there were so many tourists from Tokyo. It’s quite popular among families. It’s kinda like if you as the farmer of SDV were real lol because it’s SUCH a money-maker for our town here. And the rest of us are just NPCs lol🧍

While there, I fed a scary ass goat some carrots and had a grape-vanilla mixed ice cream.

And that concludes Saturday!

June 9th

Sunday (today) was such a blast too. In the morning, we took I-san (crazy old cat lady ((affectionate)) from older entries) to the cafe we went the day before. As ever, she talked our ears off and we learned a lot about the neighbours lmao. But also, she came all dressed up with her make up done, which was adorable🥰❤️. I’m so glad she enjoyed it.

When we dropped her off, she forced me to accept 5000 yen from her (50 AUD)😭😭😭!!! You might be like “emi you could’ve just said no” BUT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!! When old Asian grannies give you money you must accept it there’s no escaping their determination😭😭😭

Now I gotta think of a way to repay her, non-monetarily. I’m actually quite decent at drawing realistic portraits (especially old people for some reason lol) so maybe I’ll draw her or her late cat as a present. We shall see!

Also, we made plans for her to dress me in her kimono on Tuesday. I’m very excited!

After breakfast, we headed off to visit an open shelter/cat rescue. I’ve been here before and I was very excited to go again. There’s around 100 cats, spread across three floors (with sealed off balconies), and there are soooo many affectionate cats omg. So many will just flop onto your lap and chill there for like twenty minutes it’s great. I fell in love with so many cuties today…but none of them fell in love with me back lol they all wanted my mum instead aha😭💔

So yeah. There’s no pictures of me with the cats because they were all over my mum so I became designated photographer🤡

But in the end, I did get to pat many cutie kitties, so I still had an adorable time🥰❤️

For lunch, we ate at the neighbouring restaurant, that was cat-themed. I had the nyangherita pizza lol while my mum had a warabi-katsu set.

The pizza was disappointingly average, but my mum liked her food. So all around wins for her today😂 (though, a cat did pee on her bag, so…)

And that was my past few days! I can’t believe I’ve been here close to three weeks now. Time just flies, doesn’t it? Next Saturday, I’ll be off to Osaka. I’ll be sad to say goodbye to my grandpa’s hometown, but I’ll be back at the end of June anyway, before I return to Australia…where I’ll then reunite with my own cats, Apple Pie and Leon🥹💖

Thanks for reading my journal! See you next time.

With love,

Emi xoxo

[newpathwrites]

Masterlist

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Din Djarin never did mince words, did he? The honesty in his confession took her breath away for a moment. Stars , this was really happening, wasn’t it?

The realization sobered her up quickly, and she matched his serious tone, turning her body to face him more squarely and setting the wine bottle on the floor. Her gloved hand rested on his knee. “The feeling is mutual, Din.”

He inhaled sharply in both relief and surprise, having been certain she couldn’t possibly return the sentiment.

Summary: Din and Bo share a drink after his fateful rescue.

Note: I originally posted this before the season 3 finale. This is set following S3E7 and is a prediction (or wishful thinking) for what might have happened between them when all was said and done. I basically compiled all of my favorite predictions so many wonderful fans had formulated and put it down on paper with a few of my own mixed in.

This is now totally irrelevant and canon-divergent, but I have considered continuing their story. Also, I really laid the fluff on thick in keeping with my demisexual/demiromantic Din headcanon.

Warnings: Mildly implied sexual references.

Read on AO3

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Bo-Katan hadn’t really known what to expect when Din Djarin showed up at her quarters that evening, wine bottle in hand, and asked if he might join her in the bunk.

And when he shut the door firmly behind him, engaging the lock as he did so, and shared that Grogu would be with Koska for the night, she similarly hadn’t expected the flare of nerves that lit up her body in an instant - a heady mixture that was as exhilarating as it was confusing.  

Bo-Katan had long recognized that she harbored a rather large bit of affection for this man, but other, less familiar emotions were suddenly bubbling to the surface of her consciousness unbidden - ones that she’d long ago discarded in favor of serving her people without distraction.  And how uncharacteristic of him to suggest casual companionship within the intimate confines of her personal space.  This was feeling like a serious moment.  Dank farrik … she might be in over her head… but she’d gladly drown in it to spend an evening alone with the one with whom her fate had been entwined.

It had become clear as she and Din had fought off Moff Gideon and his guards, passing the dark saber seamlessly and expertly between them, suddenly lighter than air in their grasps, that their souls were inextricably bound together by the force.  It was them - not her and not him, but both together - who were meant to rebuild Mandalore.  The prophecies, despite all of Bo-Katan’s disbelief, were true …

What did it mean for them?  She didn’t exactly know.  But something had been building all this time, as they worked together toward this common goal, two complimentary sides of the same coin, and it felt an awful lot like love.  

She felt it, and she knew that he did, too.  The subtext of his declaration of devotion before breaching Mandalore was not lost on her.  It was both an oath of fealty... and a confession…

And now they sat together in the aftermath of the battle they’d waged together on her small mattress, armored limbs unceremoniously clanging against the walls of the bunk as Din settled himself next to her, helmet now discarded and the bottle of Coruscanti wine from Karga sitting between them.

She couldn’t stop looking at him.  It felt simultaneously like looking at a stranger and yet also as if she’d known this face her entire life.  Had she seen him in her dreams?

The helmet was already off when she’d found Moff Gideon’s lair, removed forcibly as a means to humiliate a man who’d dedicated his entire life to his creed.  But she’d immediately recognized the determination in those brown eyes.  Din had come to understand the truth.  He was a Mandalorian through and through - the creed would not be the end for him.

She’d put a fisted hand to her heart, just as he’d done in her honor a few days prior, and he’d subtly nodded in recognition.  Trust me.   It pained her to do it, but when she’d then revealed herself to Moff Gideon, she’d spat vitriol at Din, as well.  She asserted that she cared not for this zealot’s welfare, that he was a traitor to her cause like the rest of his dilapidated tribe, that she’d only used him to exact revenge on Gideon himself.

The ruse worked - at least long enough to distract Gideon for a moment as he reassessed his options in light of this unexpected turn.  And in those moments, she’d ignited the saber and skillfully cut through Din’s bindings before lunging toward the Moff himself.

What they did then was nothing short of magic.  There was no thought or intention.  The saber was guiding them.  They functioned as a single unit, gracefully and effortlessly destroying their opponents until they were the only two left standing.  In a fitting conclusion, Bo-Katan had retrieved Din’s helmet and placed it herself back on his head, assuring him that his Manda’lor found no fault in its removal.

And that’s why it surprised her when he took it off again in her presence these few days later - obviously the reason he’d wanted to do this in the locked bunk.  Maybe the rules had changed now that they knew more clearly what they were meant to be to each other.  

Conversation was a bit stilted, though, compared to their usual, comfortable banter.  Din wasn’t used to conversing truly face to face.  Where to look?  How to school his facial expressions?  And what in the galaxy to say to the woman who was essentially his soulmate?  He was not skilled in these things.

But Bo was merciful.

“We have a lot to discuss, hmmm?”  She raised her eyebrows and grinned, hoping to diffuse a bit of the nervous tension that had overtaken the small space.

He finally met her eyes, a small, bashful grin forming on his handsome face.  “Yeah, I’d say so.”

They gazed at each other just a little too long then, both caught admiring the others’ features in this new light.  Din broke first, uncomfortable with the prolonged eye contact, but he still had that boyish grin on his face.

“You know, in the old times, gifting a weapon in public declared the intention to court the other party…” Her bright smile and waggling eyebrows betrayed her humorous intentions, trying desperately to make Din feel more comfortable, though she did hope to spur a real conversation about what was brewing between them.  “Some have been saying…  you know… ”  She shrugged noncommittally.  This was meant to be mostly in jest, anyway.

He cleared his throat a bit nervously before replying, “I’m aware…”  His expression had now turned very serious. 

She continued on despite herself.  “And others might say that swearing your devotion ‘til death is tantamount to a love confession…”  Okay, that was a bit strong… Maybe she needed to lay off the wine…

He looked down at his cup, aimlessly swirling the liquor.  “Yes, they might say that…”  His voice sounded rougher as he finally looked up at her again, continuing more forcefully, “And they’d be right…”

Din Djarin never did mince words, did he?  The honesty in his confession took her breath away for a moment.  Stars , this was really happening, wasn’t it?

The realization sobered her up quickly, and she matched his serious tone, turning her body to face him more squarely and setting the wine bottle on the floor.  Her gloved hand rested on his knee.  “The feeling is mutual, Din.”

He inhaled sharply in both relief and surprise, having been certain she couldn’t possibly return the sentiment.

But then the fear set in…

He wasn’t good at this… feelings… and romance… and physical affection… He didn’t imagine that she was very good at it, either - though certainly better than him… He’d never had a relationship - only casual trysts, and even those were long ago.

Before he had time to really think all of that through, she was removing her gloves and taking his hands in hers.  “Can I take these off?”

He could only nod, throat dry.  Skin on skin contact of any kind was a rare thing in his life, but how he’d yearned to touch her.

She took her time, recognizing that even just this mildly intimate step might be a shock to his system.  And once the gloves were off, she lifted his hands and slid her palms slowly over his, allowing their fingers to lazily clasp together.

Din was mesmerized.  He never imagined that he would have the opportunity to be like this with someone… or for it to feel so natural and comforting.

But the way she was looking at him right now… with desire… Kriff , he wasn’t quite ready for all of that… not when bare hands were almost too much for him.

“Bo…” he started, more breathily than intended.  “I’ve never really…”

Her eyes went wide, and she cut him off.  “ Never ?”  Voice dropping to a whisper, she questioned, “Is it not allowed?”

He couldn’t hold back a nervous chuckle.  “No… not that… but it’s been a very long time…”  He took a deep breath to compose himself.  “I’ve just never had… this…  I have no idea what I’m doing… And the helmet… and just… there’s so many things…”

“That’s alright,” she reassured him, squeezing his hands.  “We can take it slow…”

“I want to kiss you.”  The words rushed out before he could stop them.  Maker… what was wrong with him?

Did he want to?  Yes, that was simply the truth.  Had he fantasized many times about what that would be like?  Yes… a lot…  But could he handle the reality?  He wasn’t sure.  This was a very intimate thing.

And what if she didn’t want to kiss him ?  Bo had only been familiar with his face for all of maybe two hours, after all.  Perhaps he was being presumptuous.

But she didn’t give him the chance to perseverate further, raising up on her knees to bring their faces in closer proximity and untangling one of her hands which landed on his stubbled cheek.  “By all means, Din - please do…”

He closed his eyes, both adjusting to and reveling in the sensation of her fingers on his face.  He was a little lost here.  He didn’t know what to do next.  So he fell back on a more familiar tradition, bringing their foreheads together in a sort of keldabe.  This was a little easier to wrap his mind around right now.

To her credit, Bo caught on quickly, mumbling against his cheek, lips ghosting over the corner of his mouth.  “You’ve never done this before… the creed…”

And he mumbled back, “No… But… I trust you…”

She grinned against his skin.  There was something refreshingly innocent and honest about this man.  “I’ll tell you what - I’m going to press my lips against yours, and you’re going to press mine back.  Is that okay?” 

He subtly nodded against her forehead, and Bo wasted no time, tilting her head and pressing her mouth to his.  Din did as instructed and to her surprise, brought one of his ungloved hands to her cheek, thumb smoothing over her temple.

The kiss was chaste, but that was alright.  They could both benefit from taking their time with this.  

Bo pulled away, brushing his forehead with her own as she did so in a final gesture of affection, and he sighed contentedly at the comfortable intimacy of it.  This was more than enough for now.

The rest of the evening was spent in relaxed conversation, the bottle of wine eventually running out.  By that time, both wore significantly fewer pieces of armor, their bodies nearly wrapped around each other as they enjoyed this rare moment of calm together.  Din couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps every night could be like this…

In the early morning hours, he finally left for his own quarters, the gentleman that he was, not wanting to cause any more of a stir than they already had.  He was bolder this time, when he kissed Bo goodbye in front of her door, finding the courage to press his lips more firmly against hers and allowing her to guide their mouths in slightly more passionate movement.  It was clumsy on his part, but it was good, nonetheless.  He would get there eventually.

Din was practically beaming with happiness, much like a lovestruck teenager, as he dropped the helmet back over his head and turned to walk back toward his own room.  

Hopefully, there would be many more such evenings to come.

—————————-

Thank you for reading!

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: Liars Guns and Money - 2x19-2x21 - meta part the first...

Liars, Guns and Money is my second favorite multiparter in all of Farscape, behind only We Are Screwed in season 4. Interestingly, they both involve Crichton on the ragged edge of sanity and a rescue of one member of the OTP by the other, willing to do anything it takes. 

In LGM it's Aeryn willing to do anything (including offering anything (by implication herself)) to get Crais to help to rescue John. In WASS it's John selling his soul to Scorpius. And of course, the insanity in LGM is literal but in WASS it's because John derails utterly when Aeryn is in danger. Before I get to character interactions, I want to mention how much I love the set design for these eps. The gorgeous golds and deep reds, and misty greys? 

Crichton has a huge self-sacrificial complex. When Scorpius offers to give back D'Argo's son in exchange for Crichton, he has no idea how effective a carrot he is dangling in front of John (and Scorpius never truly learns, does he, perhaps because he’s hampered by the fact that he’d sacrifice himself for nobody. He is hoping for D’Argo to turn John over, he’s not thinking Crichton would do it himself.) 

It's Crichton's own private way of self-destructing. He is, in a lot of ways, walking with so much guilt (because he cannot reconcile what he had become with his inner moral compass of his upbringing) and in a way the only value he sees is as 'victim' to other. Part of the reason he latches on to Aeryn so desperately is because of that same sense of guilt and nullity. She is his one link to sanity: I love the scene in the depository where he is completely losing it and he grabs her and desperately kisses her, as if she is his long drink of water, as if doing so clears his head. 

And he tries to tell her about his feelings but also about Scorpius, and he’s falling apart so hard and it’s painful to watch.

This is so Aeryn btw...and so John.

It’s actually a funny exchange that turns heartbreaking later on, as so many Farscape jokes tend to, when she really is ready to kill him later if that is the best outcome:

And even more horrifyingly, John actually ends up begging to be killed at the end of the three parter, something he was trying to avoid becoming the most he is hoping for and still beyond him:

https://dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/723680562432376832/still-sorting-through-my-million-caps-and-thoughts

I love how his love for Aeryn helps him navigate both trauma and insanity. In practical ways - like when he cannot coat Scorpius’ rods with explosives because the chip is fighting him, she does it for him but also in more intangible ways. Aeryn is the only one who is important enough to get through (of course when, as in DMD, even she finally cannot, that is when tragedy occurs). And that is true in later seasons, no matter how obsessed or catatonically destroyed he becomes (I am thinking of the end of PKW when it's Aeryn and his child who bring him out). Oh, and that scene when he desperately and incoherently wants to tell her how he feels. Because he can feel his inner self slipping and it feels as if it's almost the last chance. And she tells him he doesn't have to say it and his face where this is no comfort but a disappointment because he wanted to so badly. 

And the end of that part 1, kills me...when he tells her, so quietly and stumblingly, sounding so incredibly vulnerable 'I meant what I said...didn't say' (and he’s not even trying to say what it is, he’s beyond that) and she says she knows and it’s gentle and he is actually at peace with that now because this time he can process that she really does know. And she pulls his head down and puts it on her shoulder (this is such a their thing, he did it to her earlier; and I can’t tell you how much I needed the scene have that moment of touch-comfort at that moment). He is this beautiful broken thing, so far from what he started as but for a brief moment at peace. 

[madiomens]

Just Pretend [n.s.]

Chapter Seven

We spent four hours at the venue working on the beginning stages of assembling the stage set up. We decided I would sit on one of the furthest boxes Noah likes to stand on when performing so I could survey the crowd along with the band during their show, and I would walk along the barricade between sets to check on people. I spent the majority of the time sitting on the stage and working on the props that were lower to the ground as folio assembled his drum set and the other boys worked on the bigger props.

We left the venue and headed straight to dinner to satisfy our growling stomachs and get some relaxation in after the work day. We were sat at a large table in the back so that we could all sit together. I took a seat between Noah and Folio and settled into a comfortable conversation with everyone around me. 

"Thank you for your help today, Maddie." Nicholas said from across me.

I waved him away with my hand. "Oh, of course. Happy to help with whatever I can."

"You are probably the kindest person I've ever met. We don't meet a lot of those, especially in California." Bryan said, looking up from his phone.

"Turns out she's from the south so it's embedded in her." Folio said as he sipped his beer.

"Ahh, that makes more sense then." Bryan said, causing the table to chuckle.

We put our food orders in and got more drinks, conversing about random things when Bryan turned his attention to me. "Hey Maddie, what's your instagram handle?"

I gave it to him and he nodded in response before he went to tapping on his phone, causing me to furrow my brows in confusion. My phone buzzed from the table and I picked it up to see he had followed me and tagged me in a post. I looked up at him to see him grinning before I opened the post to see my face. He had snuck pictures of me, the first one being me sitting criss cross on the stage and looking up at the lights we were setting up, the purple color causing a glowy haze to be cast over my face. The second one was Noah handing me something and both of us laughing without a care in the world. 

"Everyone say hello to the new tour nurse, Maddie! If you're ever at a show and need any medical assistance, find her smiling face and she will come to the rescue. We are all incredibly thankful for her joining us."

I smiled at it and lifted my face to poke my bottom lip out at him. "Thank you, Bryan."

Noah leaned over my shoulder to look at it and I turned my phone towards him so he could get a better view. "These are really good pictures, Bryan." He said, swiping between the two pictures.

"Thanks, man. She was easy to photograph. You aren't bad looking either." He said with a chuckle, causing us to laugh at him.

Nicholas, Folio, and Jolly's names popped up in my new follower notifications along with the official Bad Omens page. I smiled at the three boys and set my phone back down as we all started eating our food, a quiet wave washing over us as we enjoyed the dishes. Noah's hand landed on my thigh as I took a bite, causing me to almost choke on my food in surprise. I inconspicuously looked up at him to see him facing his food with a ghost of a smirk on his face. I stifled a smirk of my own as I continued to eat, trying to focus on the food and not the warmth of his large hand on my thigh.

The next couple days flew by, between us finishing setting up at the venue and Noah and me teasing the hell out of each other, the day of the first show was here. I woke up early as excitement threatened to bubble over. I have yet to find anything in the world that makes me happier than watching live music, and this time I get to see how everything works from the front and backstage. All of us had to get to the venue at noon to start soundcheck and get ready for the VIP meet and greet. I decided last night I would go ahead and get fully ready before we leave so the only thing I have to worry about is my job and helping the guys get ready on time. I refreshed the black polish on my nails last night and went ahead and put waves in my hair so that today I could just refresh my hair and do my makeup. I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to do my morning routine, brushing my teeth and peeking at Noah's sleeping figure. We've both stopped closing the doors to our bedrooms, seeing as we've now seen each other's bodies in every way possible. I let out a breathy chuckle at him as I spit out my toothpaste and rinsed my toothbrush before walking back into my room to lay out my outfit for the day. It's exciting knowing I can still dress like I'm going to a concert and get to be a nurse instead of being stuck in scrubs at all times, even though Noah mentioned wanting to see me in my scrubs again. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean for me to work in them.

I laid out my outfit and pulled some sweatpants on before leaving my room to see if any of the other boys were awake. Nicholas and Jolly were in the kitchen cooking breakfast and shot me smiles once they saw me.

"Good morning, Maddie! Just in time for breakfast." Jolly said, putting what looked like french toast and bacon on a plate to slide across the island to a seat.

"Thank you." I said with a smile as I took my seat.

The two got their own plates and sat on either side of me. "Noah still asleep?" Nicholas questioned.

"Knocked out." I said with a chuckle before taking a bite.

He laughed. "He's either an early riser or wakes up late as hell. There's no in between."

"I've noticed that." I said with a laugh. "I'll get him up when I go to get ready."

"You being connected to his room works out perfectly." Jolly said.

I furrowed my brows at him. "How come?"

"Maybe being beside an early riser will turn him into one permanently." He said with a chuckle as he bit into his bacon.

I laughed as I continued eating, the only sound in the room being Nicholas humming a song. I've come to notice the band is always humming something stuck in their heads. It's kind of comforting.

We finished and washed the dirty dishes before I went back to my room. I walked through the bathroom and into Noah's room to see him still sound asleep. I chuckled and climbed onto his bed, brushing the hair off his forehead to try and wake him up.

"Noah." I said softly, lightly pinching his cheek.

He sniffed and rolled onto his back, stretching his whole body out with a groan. He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily as he began to wake up. He squinted at me before grabbing my waist and pulling me on top of him. I stifled a squeal as I stabilized myself on his chest, knees on either side of his hips.

"You gotta get up. We have to be at the venue in an hour and a half."  I said through a laugh.

"Mm mm, stay here." He protested with his sleepy voice, eyes closed again.

I snorted and opened one of his eyes by the eyelid. "Get up and we can meet back here after the show."

He quickly sat up with me still on his lap causing me to squeak in surprise. "I'm up." He said, eyes wide open.

I laughed and leaned my head to the side to nip at the skin on his neck. "I gotta go get ready." I tried to push myself off his lap but his grip only tightened and pulled me closer to his chest.

"You're already ready." He mumbled into my neck.

"I have to fix my face." I said, chuckling as I tried to push him off of me to no avail.

"You promise to come to my room after the show?" He questioned, pulling back so we were face to face from my height boost on his lap.

I chuckled and placed my hands on his cheeks. "You are needy in the morning." I said, causing him to furrow his brows at me and all but dramatically pout. "Yes I will be here after your show. Only if you promise to shower."

He nodded and pushed forward so I was on my back and he was above me, my legs still wrapped around him. He brought his lips down to meet mine before leaving a hot trail of kisses down my neck. I softly smiled in pleasure as my eyes closed, temporarily getting lost in the feeling. He brought his lips back up to press them against mine when there was a knock on his door, causing us to stop in our tracks.

"That's my cue to go." I said, wiggling from under his grasp and off his bed.

He groaned and fell face first into the mattress, causing me to laugh as I walked into the bathroom. I heard him talking to Nicholas as I sat on the bathroom counter to start doing my makeup. Forty minutes later my makeup was applied and I was pulling my clothes on before fluffing my hair up to ensure the waves were presentable.

I matched a dark lip to my eye makeup  and applied some necklaces and bracelets before slipping my combat boots on, grabbing my phone with a portable charger, and leaving my room. Whistles sounded out from Nicholas, Jolly, and Folio as I walked into the living room area. I laughed at them while I began to check all the supplies I had for the show and zipping the duffle bag up, throwing it over my shoulder.

"You guys are too kind." I said with a chuckle.

"You look good, Maddie." Folio said, joining my side at the counter.

Noah walked in the room and stopped in his tracks as we made eye contact, his eyes getting wide and mouth slightly dropping open with his hood on his head. I snorted as I looked at him, causing the other guys to turn their attention to the staring boy.

"See, you even made Noah speechless!" Folio exclaimed, clapping his hands.

I slight smirk appeared on my face before I pushed away from the counter to follow the rest of the band out the door. I turned to face him as I walked through the door, a laugh escaping me at his figure still frozen in the living room.

"You coming?" I questioned.

"Hopefully." He said before walking towards me.

I shook my head at him before leading us to the van with the other guys and climbing in. We got to the venue in 15 minutes and climbed out, the sound of excited screams hitting my ear. I turned to see fans already lined up, held back by security so we could walk past them. The boys greeted all of them and talked for a few minutes before we walked inside to start soundcheck. The boys set their bags of clothes for the show backstage before walking onto stage and testing the mics. I took a seat on the furthest box I decided to sit on for the show and turned to watch them as they started warming up. The same fuzzy feeling I get during live shows began to fill me while watching them, feeling like I had my own personal concert. Noah's angelic voice began to sound out over the speakers as he decided on 'The Grey' to warm up with, ad libbing runs and melodies at the beginning of it. I closed my eyes as I got lost in his voice and the sounds of the calming instruments behind him, chill bumps peppering my arms and legs. A tap on my shoulder broke me from the trance I was in, causing me to pop my eyes open and turn my head to the side to see one of the venue workers.

"Hi! I'm Jolene and I'll be helping work the show tonight. You're Maddie, right?" She questioned, her Irish accent thick.

I smiled at her. "I am! How can I help you?"

"I have a bunch of containers of water to keep at the barricade for people that need them. Could I get you to help me carry them in? I'm just parked right out front." She questioned with a smile.

"Of course." I nodded, hopping off the box to follow her outside. Noah's eyes followed my every move as I left the room, causing me to nod my head in the direction of the door so he knew where I was going. He nodded back at me and continued with soundcheck, switching to a different tempo and focusing back on the music.

[floatingcatacombs]

On Reading Yuri with a Death Wish

12 Days of Aniblogging 2022, Day 1

This essay will discuss suicide.

Existentialism is the study of why you shouldn’t kill yourself. This is a noble pursuit, because I’m never sure what to do with the philosophers who commit suicide, if that act retroactively invalidates their theories or not. (Hegel, on the other hand, died sane but has driven more philosophers to madness than any other individual)

What I mean more specifically is that a lot of existentialist texts and theories are rooted in the anguish that humans alone face due to our consciousness. We’re talking depression, despair, and existential angst. In this way, existentialist writing serves as a therapy workbook, a reminder that individuals are wholly responsible for their own actions, which includes finding meaning, personal values, and contentedness. Of course, an absurdist would say that there’s no point to searching for any of that and only through giving up can we be free to truly live, but it’s all in the same spirit.

These deeply human themes lend themselves well to art, and anime is no exception. Unfortunately, most of these attempts are pretty trite. How often do you put on an show only for it to get fake-deep during the narrative climax by reciting a bunch of out-of-context philosophy? We can punch down at Death Note all day if we want, but there definitely is anime and manga out there that actually succeeds in weaving an existentialist core. Being who I am, I particularly care about the stuff that does it through the lens of yuri, and well.

Otherside Picnic is one of these works, if you ask me. One thing that reveals itself very quickly, especially if you’re reading the novels where Sorawo’s thoughts are on full display, is that our main character is downright suicidal. She’s rescued from an early watery grave by future love interest and partner-in-crime Toriko, who makes a quip about her looking like the drowned Ophelia. Sorawo is familiar with the Millais painting from reading a Wikipedia article, but not Hamlet itself, which serves as a great early example of her encyclopedic strengths and shortcomings, as well as the author's tendency to source from the internet. The two quickly become well-acquainted (partners-in-crime, even!) and set out to explore the mysterious Otherside they’ve independently stumbled upon, which is rife with monsters straight out of scary stories passed around on 2channel.

my eternal rival, Ms. Boston Dynamic, makes an appearance

Once the premise of a slowburn yuri like this is set up, the author usually throws an obstacle in the way of the relationship to prevent things from working out immediately. If said author is a hack, it’s a romantic rival, in the worst-case scenario a childhood friend. Sometimes it’s a miscommunication, where the girls treat the blossoming relationship differently and don’t realize they’re seeing past each other. Sometimes it’s life circumstances, like the girls going to different schools or having different social standings. And sometimes, it’s because one of the girls has something deeply wrong with her. Ideally both.

As it turns out, Toriko has just as much of a death wish as Sorawo. She hides it better at first, by being a manic pixie Canadian gun otaku dream girl, but the sheer desperation and denial present in her search for her old mentor quickly comes into focus. She’s lost someone close to her and is throwing herself into dangerous situations because it’s easier than facing her grief.

There’s a stretch of the series where Toriko and Sorawo are in a rocky patch over the exact issue of Toriko’s mentor Satsuki and whether seeking her out is worth it (with the undertone of Sorawo trying to figure out if Toriko actually likes her or is just using her to help find Satsuki). This manifests as the two of them throwing themselves into the Otherside again and again, with less, more quarrelsome recovery time between each stint. They start drinking more and more irresponsibly in their post-expedition celebratory dinners they start. All of this culminates in the Otherside starting to come to them instead of the other way around.

For all of creepypasta set-dressing, this is the one part of Otherside Picnic where there’s genuine terror and dread. If you don’t have enough anchors to the real world, you’ll lose yourself for good in there, as Sorawo gets warned a handful of times. Obviously this is meant to frame the Otherside in eldritch horror terms, but to me it brings it closer to representing suicidal ideation. Hell, a few times Sorawo finds herself drawn into Otherside specifically because of her harmful thoughts. When she’s mentally at her worst she keeps inadvertently ending up there – and the monsters are trying to get her to cross the point of no return. It’s barely even a metaphor at times.

So yeah. Can’t get away from the Otherside, can’t give in to it. Sorawo and Toriko are left to just…learn to live with it. After buying a tobacco harvester on a drunken bender (long story) the two of them start to chart out rudimentary roads, establish supply bases, and do plenty of small construction jobs to make the place just a bit less hostile. It’s all very Minecraft, which Sorawo just flat-out says at one point. This aspect of Otherside Picnic is definitely indulging Miyazawa’s hobbyist tendencies in the same way that all the creepypasta and gun otaku stuff is, but it also establishes a certain kind of coping. Though Sorawo and Toriko keep finding themselves in dangerous situations, the sense of dread never returns to the narrative in the way that it does in the early sections. These later volumes are definitely a bit less interesting, but you can only give your characters an absolute death wish for so long before it gets stale, and something of an iyashikei atmosphere emerges as a periodic counterbalance. Life must go on, even with the absurdity of SCP monsters hunting you and your kinda-girlfriend down.

shoutout to the offhand remarks these girls make to each other. the weirder they are, the more genuinely romantic

Have I mentioned how fun of a protagonist Sorawo is? She’s a subculture weirdo with a poster’s soul, she’s a walking encyclopedia of 2channel netlore, and her sense of reality is so distorted that she takes truly terrifying events at face value and gets lost in the details on regular human relationships. She’s something of an accidental lesbian chad, getting Toriko to go from leading her on to falling desperately in love with her without even really trying. She’s got unprocessed childhood trauma straight out of a ghost story, which gets weaponized to scary effect down the line. She makes the most baffling offhand remarks. And her dry wit is a perfect fit for the narrative, which, like I said earlier, is at its best in the novels where we get to spend more time in her headspace.

It's out of character for me, but I haven’t actually talked much about the yuri parts of this yuri manga. I’m save that for the second part of this writeup, alongside the elephant in the room: author Iori Miyazawa’s ‘yuri of absence' interview. I’ll wrap up my Otherside Picnic talk by saying that the anime adaptation is pretty terrible, failing to understand everything I’ve been talking about up until now by changing the pacing to that of an action series. The manga, on the other hand, is quite good, with some especially interesting panel composition during the more surreal moments. It’s worth a look, but you’re ultimately best off reading the original novels.

I want to bring up another philosophical yuri manga I read this year, Shimeji Simulation. It’s definitely on the absurdist side of things, but that doesn’t become apparent until you’re further in. What we get in the opening chapters is pure depression-core, exactly as expected for mangaka Tsukumizu, whose previous works include Girl’s Last Tour and the Touhou doujin Flan Wants to Die. Our protagonist is a driftless shut-in who hasn’t been to school in two years after something unspecified and traumatic happened to her in middle school. She scrapes together the will to go to school this year, and makes fast friends with a classmate who has a giant fried egg on her head. Fast girlfriends even, though it’s unclear what that really means for the two of them.

I’ve found that Shimeji Simulation is difficult to pitch, so I’m just going to write about my favorite character: Mogwa, the depressed art teacher. She moonlights as the club advisor and only active member of the “hole-digging club”, a club that…digs holes. When asked why, she starts waxing philosophically about the absurdity and futility of the act. With each following chapter she becomes further obsessed with hole topology. When Shimeji’s sister develops a boring machine, Mogwa falls into despair. Evidentially, her digging had become deeply important to her regardless of its uselessness, and a machine doing all the digging for her sapped all the joy out of it. She lets herself slip into the seemingly bottomless pit, only saved from her fate by someone with nigh omnipotence.

The thing I love the most about Mogwa is how she’s a clear manifestation of the Myth of Sisyphus. She condemns herself to a futile impossible task, and this ends up becoming the very thing keeping her going. Only through accepting absurdity can she be truly free, and the opposite when her self-made purpose is pulled up from under her.

Buried away in the depths of Dynasty-Scans is a prequel comic to Shimeji Simulation that shines a light on the whole comic, and why it’s so strange, contemplative, bleak, and snarky all at once. I’m not linking it because it’s pornographic and more than a bit questionable, but the gist is that in middle school, Shimeji’s only friend had sex with her and then inexplicably killed herself the night after. That’s it, end of one-shot. It’s a cruel joke. Even disconnected from the published manga itself, this suicide casts a very long shadow, making the whole of Shimeji Simulation a “well…now what?” affair.

It’s why the characters in this manga are so willing to invoke philosophy, and ultimately to take the plunge into total surrealness, irrevocably writing over their world to create a weirder one. This act is self-detournment and a fitting spin on Tsukumizu’s typical depressing yuri, the fantasy of a world which responds perfectly to our desires. It’s existence preceding essence made literal, an ultimate reminder that humans are responsible for their identities and must continue to live, so they have the freedom to keep making choices and acting upon the world.

possibly one of the best pages of manga out there, period

This was a difficult and disjointed article to write, and recent personal events have made it harder yet also more necessary to get out. Next time, I’m going to talk about Otherside Picnic again, but from a different perspective: yuri and the act of authorial self-abnegation.