#setati

[czolgosz]

my direct quote btw:

Ja sam oko 8 sati izišao iz kuće i posao setati: Gledao sam da nadjem kojega druga da ne bi bio napadan i slučajno sam se sreo sa Spirićem. Kasnije je pristupio k nama još jedan drug i mi smo šetali i razgovarali o običnim stvarima. Najprije smo bili u parku. Ja sam htio da ondje ostanemo ali oni su htjeli da idemo na korzo. Na to nijesam pristao jer sam morao ići na mjesto odakle sam htio počiniti atentat. Tako sam letaoblizu onog mjesta. U to sam začuo prasak bombe. Znao sam da je to učinio jedan od naših ali nijesam znao koji. Potrčala je svjetina, automobili su stali, mislio sam: sve je svršeno. U to sam vidio gdje policija vodi Cabrinovića. U taj momenat pade pade mi na pamet da ga ubijem da se tako ne bi dalje znalo, a onda bi se sam ubio. Ali od toga sam odustao kad sam opazio da automobili prolaze. Automobili su prokli, ali ja nadvojvode nijesam vidio. Pošao sam na Latinsku ćupriju i tu sam dočuo da je u jednom automobilu bio nadvojvoda, ali da nije od bombe ozlijeden. Sada sam razmišljao, kuda da se postavim. U novinama sam čitao program kuda bi imala povorka da krene. U to je pristupio k meni jedan poznati gospodin i spomenuo mi, kako je netko pokušao atentat i nadodao: Vidim li, kakva je to glupost! Ja sam šutio. On me je pozvao na stranu. Ja sam mislio da je špijun, da me hoće da prekopa. U to je nadošao automobil, ja sam izvadio revolver i pucao na nadvojvodu dva puta.

[greenbor]

Poesia di https://www.tumblr.com/solanas65-blog

Amami ora

Che non ho parole

Amami ancora

E i silenzi avran voce

E la voce avrà sussurri

Brividi setati

A stellar notti

A brillar albe

Sopra e sotto la pelle

Tra le pieghe dell'animo

Riverberi d'immenso.

[designmiss]

Collezione Clavius by Axo Light https://www.design-miss.com/collezione-clavius-by-axo-light/ #AxoLight festeggia i 10 anni della #collezione #Clavius: #sospensioni, #plafoniere, #applique, #lampade da #terra e da #tavolo caratterizzate da un #paralume lavorato a mano con fili setati montati su una #struttura in #metallo.

[trojerucica-blr]

Komuna je izraz koji potiče od latinskih riječi cum ("zajedno") i munire ("ozidati")

Simona Markovic is supporting Aleksandar Šapić - SPAS   · Shared with Public

Komuna:necu da ZIVIM U KOMUNI iliti "ZAJEDNISTVU"SA BAHATIM STANARIMA KOJI DRZE SIROM OTVORENA VRATA OD SVOG SVRATISTA STANA NASPRAM MENE POPUT VASIC MARINE IZ STANA BR.4 .SVE ONO STO NEPISE U ZAKONIKU JE PODRAZUMIJEVAJUCE POPUT NE(SETATI)NAG VAN SVOGA STANA I DRZATI POD KLJUCEM SVOJ STAN-ZATVOREN,AKO JE VEC PROPISANO ZA ULAZNA VRATA ZGRADE DA SE DRZE ZATVORENA,ALI OVDJE SU SLOMLJENA I OBIJENA,TE CE Aleksandar Šapić BITI UTUZEN DA SE POSTARA O OVOM JAVASLUKU #tuzilastvo 

Komune su općine nastale razvojem gradske samouprave.Komuna je izraz koji potiče od latinskih riječi cum ("zajedno") i munire ("ozidati") te u najširem smislu označava zajednicu ljudi koji stalno žive na nekom ograničenom području. 

U užem smislu se pod time mogu podrazumijevati:komuna (zajednica), moderni oblik društvene zajednice koga karakterizira dijeljenje resursa;

terapijska komuna, namijenjena liječenju od ovisnosti i duševnih bolesti:Terapijska komunaTerapijske komune ili „radni kampovi” koji predstavljaju modalitet nastao zbog činjenice da samo manjina zavisnika prihvata dugotrajni rehabilitacioni tretman u hospitalnim ili vanhospitalnim zdravstvenim ustanovama. Sa druge strane, ne postoji dovoljan broj dobro organizovanih specijalizovanih zdravstvenih ustanova koje sprovode rehabilitaciju i resocijalizaciju zavisnika. Ove komune organizuju najčešće religijske konfesije ili nevladine organizacije. U njima se, pre svega, zahteva od članova kompletna apstinencija uz svakodnevne radne i grupne aktivnosti u skladu sa ideologijom komune.Kategorija: Psihoterapija

srednjovjekovna komuna, oblik društveno-političke organizacije gradova u srednjem vijeku;

Stop Nasilju necu da trpim izivljavanje BAHATIH i sve ono sto sam STOICKIM ASKETIZMOM DUGOTRPELJIVOSTI TRPELA 11GOD U SVINJCU -AV KRMKA🐽 ZNAMO SE Aleksandar Šapić PERFEKTNO, BILA SAM NOVINAR U RMS;ROMSKE NOVINE I NOVI SVET 3 ROMSKA PORTALA-GRATIS😁

[asweetjane]

Crtice iz šetnje #7

Da, šetamo se. Danas smo prvi put posle mesec dana sigurno prošle centrom. Bilo je čudno gledati sve te zatvorene radnje, prazne uličice, uvelo cveće iza prljavih prozora. Bilo je, ipak, lepo. Volim sunce na kapcima, zato i ne nosim naočare. A i zato što ih gubim. Razmišljala sam o vremenu kada će sve ovo proći, o punim kafićima i lepim devojkama u njima. Poželela sam da i ja budem jedna od tih devojaka. Lepa, sređena, negovana. Maštala sam o tome, i u tim mislima znala sam da nisam baš miljama daleko od toga. Osećala sam se lepo, oprala sam kosu, lepo potrefila gde da stavim šnalu, sasvim slučajno. Ispod majice nosila sam lepu crnu potkošulju, ma šta ćeš više za taj seksi filing u kojem se ne vidi ono što te zapravo čini samouverenom. Znate već, kao seksi donji veš ili dobar parfem. Ulični svirač-alkoholičar je prvo držao dugo glavu u rukama, možda nervozan, možda bolestan, možda u krizi. Kasnije sam ga videla na starom mestu, svirao je. Zaobišla sam ga u širokom luku, takvi najverovatnije imaju virus. Takvi? Zašto? Ipak sam to uradila. A mogla sam da ga pogledam i poslušam, svirao je nešto dobro.

Dok smo se vraćale Kosovskom, opet sam, kao i uvek, zastajala kod svakog oluka da čitam poeziju na pravougaonim nalepnicama. Haiku poeziju izvesnog IV. Dugo sam mislila da to znači četiri, tek posle sam pomislila da su to inicijali. A posle sam, kao i uvek, gledala fascinirano u smeće pored “narkomanske kuće”. Trudila sam se da zapamtim šta je tamo, znate već, to je ono što pisci i potencijalni pisci rade. A i stvarno me fascinira ta enormna količina smeća bezobrazno razbacana svuda po Podbari. Ovaj put su se tu našle i neke bokserice. Ko zna kako, to mi deluje kao zanimljiva priča. Ostalo, nažalost, nisam zapamtila. Nema veze, biće tu i sutra, tako raznovrsno, šarenoliko, smrdljivo i ružno, kao što i život sam ume da bude.

Danas nije bio ipak takav dan. Danas sam bila lepa. Pročitala sam Jungovu knjigu, shvatila neke nove stvari o sebi. Napravila sam dobro jelo. Plesala sam uz Bebi Dol pred detetom. Danas je bio dobar dan.

Stvarno, koja je priča iza onih bokserica?

[thelordofdark99]

Februar. Doba godine kada ne znas da li stize proljece i toplije vrijeme ili je jos uvijek hladna zima. Prevrtljivo doba godine rekao bih.

Te jedne noci u februaru sjedila si pokraj mene na klupi u parku. Gledao sam te njezno, milovao ti lice svakim pogledom nisi primjetila znam. Sijao je mjesec i zvijezde pored njega ali ni mjesec ni zvijezde nisu imale sjaj ni ljepotu kao sto si ti. Pricala si mi. Iskren da budem nisam te slusao. Vjetar mi je nanosio miris tvoje kose. Nisam ni slutio da mirise kao najljepsa ruza. U meni je vec bilo proljece. Sve cvate u meni. Pogledala si me tvojim nebesko plavim ocima srce je udaralo kao ludo strah me bilo da ces vidjet to kroz moje grudi. Vjesto sam to skrio. Predlozio sam ti da idemo setati. Hodala si pored mene tako sam jako zelio da te drzim za ruku. Nisam se usudio kukavica sam znam. Htio sam ti priznam osjecaje ali kada god bi htio kao da me nesto zaustavi. Ni sam nisam znao sto bih. Pa sam te pustio. Zagrlila si me jako te noci u februaru. U meni je i dalje proljece osjetim leptirice, cujem cvrkut ptica u glavi u duso vatromet zbog tvog zagrljaja. Mirisala si na ljubav, srecu i toplinu. Pustila si me. Ponovo se vratila zima u moje grudi hladni vjetar me osmario i vratio u realnost. Te noci u februaru bila si na tren moja i pustio sam te a nisam smio.

[pisac-u-tami]

Nju pamtim kao borca, zena koja nikada nije odustajala, mnogo toga me naucila. Naucila me je da srecu cine male stvari, cesto smo isli setati, satima smo setali, taj ponos u njenim ocima dok me je gledala, koliko je samo vjerovala u mene da cu jednog dana biti dobar covjek. Volio sam one nase jutarnje kafe, i kada bih joj pricao o glupostima uvijek me je slusala, bila mi je poput majke a nikada joj nisam rekao koliko je volim. Sada bih dao sve sto imam, samo za tu jednu jutarnju kafu sa svojom bakom. Ja mogu sa ponosom reci da je bila najbolja baka na svijetu. Svi ste vi sigurno imali junake svoga djetinjstva, ona je bila moj junak.

D.

[dobradusavjerujmi]

Ja vam necu setati prstima ka egu, makar poginula.

[thekeyboardgamer]

Be one of the first to join my Patreon

Hello future Patreons. I am Tshifhiwa Setati,  content creator for my channel "The Keyboard Gamer". I'm also proudly South African. I would like to ask you for your help. See, my channel isn't as successful as I thought it would be, and being a 15 year old teenager isn't helping at all. That's where my (hopefully) future patreons come in. Any donation would be put to good use and invested into my channel, Hopefully, the channel will then skyrocket into silver play button territory. Your support would be greatly appreciated.

Use this link to join: https://www.patreon.com/tshifhiwasetati

[officialromaniantranslatiuni]

Mergeam pe strada cu niste prietene, nici macar nu vorbeam in momentul ala si un grup de vreo 3-4 tipi au trecut pe langa noi, unul m-a prins de fund si apoi a inceput sa faca misto cu ceilalti... erau o gramada de oameni in jur si nimeni nu a zis nimic... M-am multumit doar sa ma uit urat la tipii aia, nu am indraznit sa ma iau de ei pentru ca parintii mei nu erau in oras si nu voiam sa imi primesc un pumn in gura de la ei...

Am patit si eu asa cu un grup de tigancuse si au mai venit si cu pietre sa ne bata just because

Idea e ca da... cu cei setati pe facut rau nu ai ce sa faci

[ilijadj]

Pogledao sam na sat, vec bilo oko 9 sati, subota vece. Sedeo sam na trosedu i razmisljao sam o tome sta bih mogao da radim. Koji film mogu naci da ogledam i da zaspim uz njega, mozda cak i serija, svakako nisam imao nameru da izlazim bilo gde. Da se vucem po gradu, dok pada kisa i da se guram sa ljudima koji traze gde ce sesti. Ipak, to nije moja ideala. Vise bih da ostanem kuci, sam, da nema nikoga, da zapalim cigaru, da sednem samo i nista ne radim. To mi je bilo u glavi, no, stigla je poruka.

Nisam ni ocekivao, nisam ni slutio na to, nisam ni hteo da pogledam, niti da podignem telefon, ali eto, uradio sam to.

Poruka od nje: Hajde, cekam te ispred, kisnem kao ni jedna, idemo da prosetamo, mozda i prizalogajimo nesto. Ponela sam i pivo u rancu, ti odluci gde ces da te vodim.

Rekao sam joj: Nisam bas za to. Hteo bih vise da ostanem unutra, da cutim, slusam tisinu i tako da ubijem noc. Hvala ti na pozivu.

Nije htela da pusti to. To za nju nije bio tacan odgovor. Zazvonila je, kucala na vratima dok je i komsije nisu cule. Nije htela da me pusti da me preuzmu emocije i da sam dozivim ono cega se svako plasi. Otvorio sam joj vrata. Usla je. I stvarno, pokisla je kao ni jedna. Bila je skroz mokra, ali ipak je bila lepa. Sam taj osmeh je cinio sve boljim. Sam taj pogled je imao neku toplotu u sebi koja je susila kisu koja ju je potopila. Povukla me je za ruku, odvela u sobu da se obucem.

Neces mi ovog puta pobeci, ne mozes stalno da se izvlacis i da se krijes iza svojih emocija, rekla je. Ne mozes stalno tako, moras da prihvatis i krenes dalje.

Obukao sam se, izasli smo napolje, a kisa je padala kao da je neko pustio iz creva vodu. Prosto je bilo nemoguce setati, ili bilo gde otici, ali eto. Ona me je ubedila u sve to i bilo je sa njom lakse. Nisam mario za kisu, niti sto cu se sutra razboleti, vec sam isao gde je ona vodila i uzivao sam u pogledu.

Nisam ni znao gde idemo. Nisam ni razmisljao. Samo sam gledao kako me je uhvatila za ruku i sva srecna vodila, pokusavajuci da izbegne barice koje su se napravile. Ali, bivajuce kakvo je ona dete, ubrzo smo ostali skroz mokri. Ne zbog kise, koja je lila, nego zbog one koja se ustaljila na putu, a ona nije mogla da odoli njenoj misteriji i zaskoci da vidi sta se nalazi u njoj.

Stigli smo kod nje. Ona je vec spremila film, kokice, da se popije nesto, sve je pripremila samo za mene. Nije ocekivala nista za uzvrat. Htela je samo da provedemo vreme, da se nasmejemo, da uzivamo.

Pustili smo najgluplji film koji smo mogli da nadjemo i poceli da ga gledamo. Vise nam je prijalo sto smo ga nasli, nego sto cemo ga gledati, toliko smo se namucili. Svako je zauzeo svoje mesto, ja na sredini kreveta, da zauzmem sto vise mesta, a ona meni u krilo, zabacivsi noge na naslon. Nekakav cudan polozaj, ali njoj odgovara. Druga perspektiva gledanja filma.

Poceo je film, mislim. Mozda je i vec pola filma proslo, nisam bas siguran, ali znam kako je isao. Scena je otpocela tako da smo legli, seli, zauzeli cudne polozaje. Sjaj od meseca i prelamanja kise je igrao u njen ocima, a on je posmatrao samo. Odusevljen. Nakon toga je sledila scena, gde mi je ona zaspala u krilu, ja nju ceskao, i gledao kako se smeska u snu, i okrece da me zagrli, nesvena da je zaspala. Film je isao u pozadini, ja sam gledao svoj. Gledao kako mi lezi u krilu, pospano, pre minut probudjeno, nasmejano, pomalo izgubljeno, ali sa izvrsnom pricom. Scene su bile bas velicanstvene, ostavljale su bez teksta. Nisam mogao da poverujem, mislio sam da sanjam. Mislio sam da je nesto nemoguce. Nacin na koj joj je kosa pala, kako je stala u tom polozaju, na mojoj nozi, kakav sjaj je imala. Kako je ona lepo lezela u mom naruciju, kako nije zastajala da uzme daha za svoje gluposti koje je pricala, kako je pricala sa takvom lakocom, toliko se udubila, toliko je to bilo interesantno. Nisam mogao da pohvatam prve dve recenice, a kamoli celu konverzaciju koju smo vodili. Tacnije, koju je ona sama sa sobom vodila, ja sam bio tu kao svedok, ali se ne zalim, uzivao sam u svakom trenutku, iako nisam razumeo ni jedan deo naseg filma. Definitivno je bio strani, ne na jeziku koji ja razumem.

Otkucalo je 3 ujutru. Bilo je vreme da krenem, ali to nije bilo moguce. Imala je jos dosta toga da mi isprica, jos dosta toga da se popije i da se odgleda. Namamila me je da ostanem jos malo i opet me dobila ocima. Nisam mogao da odem od nje. Pruzila mi je tu utehu koja mi treba. Ona je ta osoba koja je tu, cak i kada ne trazis, kada zelis da budes sam, ali ti treba neko. Ne moras da joj pricas, niti da slusas, dovoljno je da je pogledas i sve ce biti u redu. Ona je sve sto mozes da pozelis. Sve vrline, a i savrsene mane. Sve to cini nju. Sve to, da ne mozes je odbiti, vec jednostavno prihvatiti. Prosto, najdraze stvorenje koje ujednako nervira, i smiruje. Koje cuti dok prica. Koje je puno energije dok stoji mirno i ne radi nista.

Bilo je vreme da odem kuci. Nisam hteo, ali sam morao. Previse vremena sam joj oduzeo i mozda upropastio vece svojim emocijama. Ali, kada sam otisao, osecao sam se srecnim. Nisam bio vise ubedacen, nisam bio znuzden, uplakan, ili umro iznutra. Bio sam srecan. Uspela je da me usreci malim stvarima, da kaze toliko toga bez ikakve reci, da ucini sto ni jedna. Da uradi toliko toga, da ne trazi nista zauzvrat. Uspela je svu tugu da skine sa mene, a da nisam ni primetio. Nije trazila nista za to, nikakvu nadoknadu, jednostavno je bila srecna gledati mene kako se smejem i vracam se u normalu. Ona je nesto novo. Novi oblik ljubavi.

Covece, koliko ja moram uciti o ljubavi.

[forrestdumb]

ne mogu da zamislim mir u svijetu,

nikakav sanjar nisam osim onda kada pokušavam snovima nadoknaditi

propušteno - da sastavim mozaik svog života pred kojim sam zatvarao oči dok mi se on ispod trepavica rugao

ne mogu da šetam za ljubav

dok mene mrzi noću ono čemu ne znam ime ispadajući budala u svačijim ocima

jer nemusto buncam.

Ja sam i u orgijama oči ljudske tražio

i dobio svrsotinu.

Zato i ne mogu setati za ljubav i moliti se za mir -

oni vrište iz mene dok me

bijes penetrira

[nostalgicandecko]

Mene zanima samo jedno

Zasto izlazak mora biti od 00 pa do ranu zoru?

Zasto se mora izlaziti po nocnim klubovima?

Zasto se uvek mora napiti i praviti lom?

Zasto se u odnose mora stupati sto pre?

Zasto je bitno ko kako izgleda

Ko koliko para ima i sta vozi?

Zasto?

Zasto izlazak ne moze biti od 20:00 do 00:00 i to setati ili uzivati u nebu?

Zasto ne popiti jednu dve case ili uopste ne piti?

Zasto se ne moze voleti dusa i osobine na osobi?

Zasto?

[yu-gi-oh-slavia]

junedrudzetati "To remember an embarrassing memory from your youth" junede "youth" + rudati "to blush" + setati "to remember"

junedrudzetanu "One such memory" Verbal noun of the above

[ketso]

Episode 27

Thabi has not said a word since her boyfriend died. As in, she is just silent. When you speak to her, she just looks at you. If she agrees with you, she nods her head. If she does not agree to something, she shakes her head. If she doesn’t know, she shrugs her shoulders. She has legit gone mute! I wasn't there when he was killed, but I can imagine that it wasn't pleasant. What I don't understand is why Thabi would do something like that knowing the kind of lunatic that we married. The day we said "I do" to him, we signed up for everything he comes with. I understand that it can become a bit much sometimes, trust me, I know - I'm married to Ona Mohale too. But to drag some innocent soul into this situation knowing very well that he won't come out alive - I'm not sure what she was expecting. As for that boyfriend of hers... I feel for him, truly, but shame, ufel’ emanyaleni. His poor wife and kids are who I feel the worst for.

I haven't seen Ona in a week. He has been with his third wife, Setati. So, it's just been Atile, Nyakallo and I. My babies. I've been promising them a vacation since forever. And now that they are on school holidays and I've taken leave from work, we are finally going on the vacation today. We've decided that we are going to Hawaii. Just the three of us.

"Guys, where are your bags? We need to make our way to the airport." I say.

"We are almost ready, mommy", Nyakallo says. She looks like such a diva with her shades. I actually giggle to myself.

Atile walks in from the porch and Ona is right behind him.

Hawu?!

"Hey", I greet him.

He kisses me and says hi.

Oh my goodness... Setati is here too and she's with her three children. Hai bo! And Thabi? What's happening?!

I don't have issues with Setati. We just don't talk or interact. Ever! Thabi and I have an interesting history, so I don't even know how we are.

Remo and Khotso walk in with Rena and Moloko.

I'm very confused.

"Ona? What's going on?" I ask.

"It's a family trip, right? The family is here. You are all leaving with the kids. Khotso and I came to drop off everyone else." He says.

"Onaleruna?! This is not a family trip! It's a trip with my children and me. Why would you just -

He's now pulled me out of the living room and shoved me into the guest bedroom downstairs. Uyahlanya lo!

"What the hell?!" Me.

"You are not going alone." Him.

"I'm not going alone. I'm going with my kids."

"Then take Thabi, Setati, Remo and the kids with you."

"No!"

"No?"

"No!"

"Nia!"

"No Ona! These are your wives, not mine. If you want to take them on holiday, nothing is stopping you. But you are not ambushing me with this and gate-crashing my holiday trip with my kids! Hai wena!"

"Why? Ubatla ho lo feba le wena?"

Weh! This is what this is about?

"YIMI OKUFEBELE WENA, ONA?! AM I THE ONE WHO BETRAYED YOU LIKE THAT?!"

Yerrr, he must never! Does he know what it takes to be faithful to him? Even Thabi couldn't do it and she's supposed to be the unbelievable wife of all of us.

"That's not what I'm saying." He sounds like he wants to cry and I don't care.

"WELL, YOU JUST SAID IT! YOU WANT ME TO BE BABY-SAT BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M CRUDE ENOUGH TO BETRAY MY WEDDING VOWS AND DISRESPECT MYSELF IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN BY FUCKING ANOTHER MAN WHILE ON A TRIP WITH THEM! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?!"

He is silent.

"YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT WITH THABI BECAUSE I AM NOT PREPARED TO PAY FOR HER MISTAKES! NEVER!"

I storm out of the room. People are sitting in my living room, looking at me as I walk out of the room. I grab my travel bag, Atile's travel bag and Nyakallo's travel bag. Khotso has disappeared I the room I left his brother in. Nyakallo and Atile bring what's left of our bags with them. I put everything in the boot of the car that's driving us to the airport.

I help my children into the car then I get in as well. The three of us sit at the backseat of the car together.

The driver does not move the vehicle. I don't understand.

"Excuse me?!" I ask him.

"Morena Mohale asked me to not move, ma'am." He says.

Kak!

I climb out of the car, move the bags from this boot to the boot of my car.

"Atile! Nyakallo! Come, we are using our car." Me.

They jump out and strap themselves into the backseat of the car.

"Nia", Ona is now in front of me and I'm trying to get into the driver's seat.

"What, Ona?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Get the fuck out of my face."

"Nia, please."

"How dare you, Ona! How dare you! You think I'd cheat on you?! Is that how low you think of me?"

"I didn't expect Thabi to do it neither, but she did do it."

"STOP COMPARING ME TO THABI! STOP IT! WHAT ABOUT ME IS ANYTHING LIKE HER?!"

He looks at me.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY! I NEED TO CATCH A PLANE!" I say.

He walks away, but he doesn't tell his people to move their cars so I can leave.

"ONA!"

He just walks away from me.

Yoh!

"Mommy! Are we going or not?!" My kids are just as frustrated as I am.

"Ausi", Khotso is now here next to me.

"Khotso, I need to go. Please ask these people to move their vehicles. I’m going to miss my flight." I say.

"Unfortunately, ausi waka, you are not leaving."

Umhlolo wami phela lo!

"Can we please calm down and just talk? Please?"

"About what, Khotso? I need to go on a vacation with my kids. Why couldn't we talk yesterday? Why can't we talk masibuya? And if this was supposed to be a family trip, why am I only knowing about it two minutes before I have to leave my house for the airport. Kuyakhulunywa, Khotso. I deserve to have a say in this. Ona can't do as he pleases then blame it on what Thabi did. Ngingenaphi mina lapho?"

He scratches his head.

"At least take Remo, Rena and Moloko. Ona and I will stay, lock up then join you guys. We will talk better then. Please."

"Fine!"

I get into my car and he goes to get Remo, Rena and Moloko.

...

Here we are today, gathered in KZN after a week of war between Ndalo and the Mbatha family regarding where Uyanda will be buried, to bury Uyanda Samuel Mbatha. It is so full here. His family - that most of us are meeting for the first time - are here in their numbers. Fans of NFR Legends are all here in their numbers. This funeral is HUGE. Some people in Uyanda's family recognized Thuli and they were so happy to see her, even told her that they wish he would have married her instead of Ndalo. I'm not sure how I felt about that, but I love my Thuli so much because she demanded that they respect her husband.

The service is extremely sad. His body was found in some river and the autopsy report says that he drowned. It was actually concluded to be suicide. Uyanda and suicide? Granted, he and I were not close anymore. But suicide? I've never taken him as someone who would dabble in something like that. But eish, may his soul rest in peace. He leaves behind two children and a wife. There are multiple mistresses that have come to bury their boyfriend and they are not being respectful to Ndalo at all. I'm so glad that Thuli is no longer dealing with this. Yoh!

I am sitting with Reahile, Mfundo, Leruo and Shack. In front of us sit our wives: Rofhiwa, Nene, Thuli, Renay, and Leruo decided to show up with Nomzamo. I can imagine that he gets along better with Nomzamo because their love is still fresh. But Paula knew Uyanda and it would have been more fitting if she were the one here with him. But ke, I'm not a polygamist, so I don't know how these decisions of "ubaba uhamba nobani namhlanje" are made.

Bethlehem girl walks in - THE mistress that did people like me a favour by ending Uyanda and Thuli. We have not seen her in so long. I had no idea she was back. She's with a teenage looking girl. Please don't tell me she has another long-last daughter.

She signals to the girl to walk in first, directing her to two available chairs in the row where our wives are sitting. The girl walks in and Bethlehem girl follows her. They really look alike.

Thuli, Rofhiwa and Nomzamo are shocked. Renay is just angry. She's been angry since Leruo showed up with Nomzamo. Even Shack is done with asking her what her problem is.

The service goes on and I miss my daughter. Mr and Mrs R offered to look after her because they were babysitting Mulalo and Mohau anyway. We took the offer. Apparently the Msomis are with them too. Mfundo keeps showing me videos that are being sent to him by Thingo. Reahile is also being kept updated by his father-in-law. Thuli's mother has been wanting to come see us for so long now. We finally got Thuli's brother to bring her to our house, so she will be arriving tomorrow. Thuli asked if her mother could stay and help us by being the nanny for our kids. Soon, we will have two under two, and I will admit that we need help. It is comforting that Thuli's mother will help us because she is someone that we trust. I said yes.

My mom is livid though. She doesn't understand why we didn't ask her.

She had a fall out with Thuli and we've never really addressed it. I feel like we should address it because I'm not happy that every time I go home, I leave with Khumo and Thuli stays behind. It's great that Thuli is not stopping our daughter from having a relationship with my mother, but I want them to have a relationship too and to cook whatever beef they have with each other. It's been a year. Surely, the issue should be resolved by now.

It is now time to go to the cemetery. Thuli cannot go because she's pregnant. People will start thinking we do this on purpose - she gets pregnant every time someone has to be buried. Nene and Rofhiwa have opted to stay with her. Renay decides to stay too because she doesn't like Nomzamo or Bethlehem girl, she won't be the only woman there with Nomzamo and Bethlehem girl.

The service at the cemetery is quick. The Legends' players and ex-players - i.e. us - put the soil in the whole after his coffin has gone down six feet underground. Ndalo cannot stop crying. Even Lethu is stronger than her. Their younger one is younger than Khumo, so he has no clue what's happening around him.

When we are done, Lethu and some of his cousins release doves. It's powerful. I catch Bethlehem girl crying too. The teenager she's with is hugging her, comforting her really.

Then I see, standing at a hectic distance and dressed in all black, mourning hat and all, the queen of Tholoana Kingdom. She knew Yaya too? She's even crying. I look at Reahile. I signal with my head that his mother is here. He takes one look at her then he just shakes his head. Hawu?!

Instead, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and seems to be dialing someone.

Whatever that means.

We get back to the house and we find our wives chilling in the tent and already eating. But they also have dished up for us and the biodegradable takeaway containers with our food in are closed. The joys of being married.

We greet them, kiss them and sit next to them. We all start eating.

"Are you guys okay? You all knew him and he touched your lives in some way", Nomzamo asks us.

Everyone takes a deep breath. Literally. We all just hear "hhhhh".

"We will get through it." Rofhiwa answers on behalf of all of us.

"I'm really sorry, guys." Nomzamo.

Thuli was nice enough to pack food for her, Bethlehem girl and the teenager.

"Where's Tshepi?" Nene asks.

"Let me call her", Nomzamo.

She indeed phones her.

After a few minutes, Tshepi is here with the girl.

"Hi guys", she greets us.

"Hey", the ladies say - except Renay.

"Sit. We got you guys food. That cue goes around the corner. You won't eat today if you join it." Thuli.

Bethlehem girl smiles. Thuli's attitude is very humbling.

"Guys, this is my daughter, Motshabi."

SHOCK!

She giggles and says, "I know."

We all now laugh. But it’s uncomfortable. Motshabi looks like her sister. Eintlek, how old is this thekken?

"Motshabi, these are people I know and some I work with."

"Dumelang bahholo", Motshabi greets us.

"Hi." We all say.

They sit and we all eat and chat about.

It is late in the afternoon when Ndalo approaches our table.

"Hey guys", she greets us.

She looks so defeated. Sad really.

"We are so sorry for your loss, Ndalo." Leruo.

"There’s nothing we can do. We just have to deal with it." Ndalo says.

"How are the kids taking it?" Thuli asks.

"Lethu is sad. Very sad. Hlanganani has his moments. He's okay most of the time. Then he will wake up in the middle of the night and scream as if he's having a nightmare. But we will get there." Ndalo says.

"When Hlangnani is sleeping, you must whisper in his ear and tell him what happened. Speak to his conscience. Ngesintu, we believe ukuthi that will settle his spirit", Nomzamo says.

"Thank you, Nomzamo. I'll definitely do that". Ndalo.

"When do you leave this place?" Rofhiwa asks.

Bethlehem girl is so uncomfortable.

"I want to leave today. Uyanda's family is driving me insane! But I apparently have to be here until they do a cleansing ceremony for me. Before they do that, I have to mourn for a year."

"A YEAR?!" The women exclaim. These people are supposed to mourn us one day. This is their attitude?! Our mothers are in trouble.

Ndalo starts crying.

"Hai Ndalo, this is not the times of the Bible. You'll wear your black clothes in your own house. You need to get out there and make a living. You have two kids to support. Two. How will you support them staying here for a year doing nothing but mourn Uyanda? No ways!" Nomzamo.

"Yoh Nomzamo. I don't even know what to do anymore." Ndalo.

"Get in your car with your kids and leave. You'll come back after a year for the cleaning ceremony. Get back to your life and try to reach a level of normal as far as possible. Especially for the kids." Thuli.

Ndalo looks at Thuli for a looooong time, then she says, "I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done to you, Thuli."

"Water under a bridge." Thuli says.

...

A week later…

It's been a week since we buried Uyanda. My kids and I are getting through it. We are trying our best. It's not easy, but we will get there eventually.

I took the ladies' advice and left the Mbatha family home. Uyanda's family wished me all sorts of bad luck, but I don't care.

I went home though - to my mom's house - and not back to Uyanda's house. My family stays in the township. My mom has been helping me a lot. I don't even want to lie. She even has me going to her church - ZCC church - to get help and prayed for. I'm on strict "ndayelo" and I'm taking it seriously. I am fighting all bad luck thrown my way with prayer and light.

My eldest brother is married and lives at his own house with his wife and kids in the suburbs. I'm the second born. My youngest sibling who comes after me is another brother. He is in matric. He has his own bedroom. I have my bedroom where I sleep with Hlanganani. Lethu sometimes sleeps with Hlanganani and I. But when he needs space, he sleeps in my eldest brother's room. I don't know how long we will be here, but I'm in no hurry to leave.

Lethu and Hlanganani don't hate it here. They are actually coping better. I think it's because my mom is their best friend and I'm so thankful. My brother adores my kids too. So as far as my family is concerned, their support is carrying us tremendously.

I'm in the kitchen now preparing breakfast for my family. Sanele, my youngest brother, is headed to school this morning, so I'd like him to eat before he dashes out. I'll also be taking Lethu to school and Hlanganani to crèche. We are in the township, so we travel 45 minutes as opposed to 10 minutes. But we get there.

My mom makes it to the kitchen first.

"Buhlebendalo", my mom says.

"Sawubona MaNcwane", I greet her.

"Uyaphila ntokazi?"

"Sizathini mah..." Me.

"I saw Uyanda's lawyer here izolo. Is everything okay?" She asks me.

I take a deep breath and say, "Even from his grave, mama, Uyanda has disrespected me in the worst way."

She sits down and pays attention to me.

"Uyanda left all of his money and assets to his sons. I can't touch any of it at all. They are being in trusts. The trusts pay school fees directly to the school - don't even go via my bank account. Lethu and Hlangi can have access and control when they turn twenty-five. The trust will pay me R80 000 a month as a salary to buy groceries, pour petrol and do whatever else I need to do to make sure that his children live a quality life. If at any point his children are not taken care of or their quality of life is compromised because I do more for myself than them, Thuli takes over and I receive nothing. I can live in the house and drive the cars provided that I don’t live with another man in that house and no other man touches his cars. I'm not allowed to sell anything because all things belong to his sons. Uyanda doesn't want me to clearly move on. How will it happen that I live in one place with a man then they live in his house without me?"

My mom is just quiet.

"He never loved me, mama. And I know that I was wrong to cheat on him with Thabang. But mama, he was cheating with me on Thuli and he was never going to leave her for me. And mama, if he failed to forgive me, why marry me? He made me miserable in that marriage and now even in death, he's showing me that he never forgave me and that his only connection to me and our marriage are our children. He's showing me, even in death, that Thuli is the one he loves and trusts. Uyanda was the biggest mistake of my life, mama." I say.

"Kuzomele ubone nawe, Ndalo, ukuthi uphuma njani. His only responsibility was the kids and he's taken care of that. You should have known what kind of man you were dealing with when you were running around with him while he was with another woman. A man like that will never love you, Ndalo, and I told you this." She says.

I don't need the "I told you so" moment. Really.

"Nyus'amasokisi, Buhlebendalo. Qina! Iba umfazi. Nqoba le nto. Akasekho u-Uyanda. Being angry at him will do nothing for you. Dust yourself off and find a way to look after yourself." She says.

I just find myself being emotional. I don't deserve this. I don't. I messed up, I know. But so did he. And I don't buy the suicide bullshit. Knowing Uyanda, he was being a whore with the wrong man's wife, and he paid for it with his life. That's the kind of man that’s putting me through this shit. That's the kind of man I'm expected to mourn for a year or else I'll have bad luck for the rest of my life. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm disappointed. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS!

I drive my brother to school first. It's on my way to Lethu's school and Hlangi's creche. He even hustles me for tuck money. I give him two hundred rands. I then drop off my kids at school, starting with Lethu.

"Mommy, what time will you fetch me today?" Lethu asks me.

"Straight after school, baby."

"Please fetch me last. I want to play a little bit after school. Or I can ask Ryan's mom to bring me home."

I giggle a bit then say, "Okay, I'll fetch you last, baby."

"Thank you. I love you." My sweet baby boy says then kisses my cheek.

"I love you, my baby boy."

He runs into school. I wait for him to meet up with his friends and they are all so happy to see him. He waves at me to signal that he's okay and I can leave, then I drive off.

I finally drop Hlangi off. Him, I take to class. He doesn't cry anymore when I leave him. He even says, "Bye mama". And that whisper thing that Nomzamo told me about worked. He sleeps through the night now and doesn't have those nightmares anymore. I must find her and thank her.

As I make my way to the car after dropping off Hlangi, the queen of Tholoana Kingdom approaches me. I just get nervous same time. I mean, she's the queen.

"Mme Mbatha, dumela." She greets me.

I must be dreaming. I mean, SHE'S THE QUEEN! Not some WAG.

"Mofomahadi, hi." Me.

"I'm really sorry about your loss. Your husband was a good man and he loved you dearly."

"Thank you, mofomahadi."

"He was a good friend of mine. I know he would want you to be taken care of."

Uyanda was her friend? I'm so confused. U-Uyanda ubehlanganaphi nendlovukazi yesizwe?

"You knew Uyanda?"

"I did. And we were close."

Something is not right here.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you for your number and bank account details. I intend to look after you and the boys. I know there are trusts and money he left with strict instructions of their usage. But I'd like to make sure that you are all okay."

"You know quite a lot. You must have been really close. Funny though, he’s never mentioned you to me. I know all of Uyanda’s close friends."

She is suddenly weird - emotional almost. I'm not going to allow my mind run away with me. She's the queen!

"You don't have to send us money. We will be fine. If you want to take care of us, please give me a job. That will do more for me than your handouts." I say.

She nods her head and says, "Sure. What can you do?"

"I haven't worked in a very long time. My last job, I was an administrator."

"Okay. What did you study?"

"I just went to a college and did short courses on administration and office management."

She looks at me as if she's judging me. Then she says, "I'll hire you as my office manager. When can you start?"

Just like that? She must have been really close with Uyanda. But I don't want to follow my mind to that place. I have to respect her and believe that she respects herself. She's the queen.

"I can start tomorrow." I say.

"Take the rest of the week off and gather yourself. I'm still on leave as well. Be at the office at 7:30am next week Monday. I prefer my team to be at the office then, so they start work at 8am - not arrive at 8am to start work at 8:30am. Your contract and everything will be ready for you."

"Thank you, mofomahadi. Truly. Thank you." I say.

She nods her then walks away. Now only I notice that she's dressed in black - like me. She's wearing a mourning black doek - like me.

Heh! What exactly killed Uyanda Mbatha? Working with this woman will be very interesting. And if she was my husband's mistress, I'll be her husband's next wife. She will know who Ndalo Mbatha is. Angibuze kuThuli noBethelehem Girl.

Sies!

...

"Papa, there's a very nice business seminar happening here. It's about all things technology, automation and robotics. We should attend it together especially because you'll be here giving a lecture at my university", Khanyisa says to me. We call each other every morning before our days start. My baby girl is growing up and she's becoming a woman that I'm incredibly proud of.

Fikile is running around in the kitchen getting breakfast sorted. She's half-participating in the conversation happening over the phone with Khanyi, and half occupied with the boys and cooking. My superwoman.

"How long will that seminar be? I wasn't planning on sleeping that side. You know I miss your kazi when she's away from me for more than a few hours", I say.

I’m not exaggerating. Since we've been married, Fikile and I go to sleep in one bed. So, if I travel, we travel together. I don't sleep in one province whiles she's in another... let alone a whole other country.

"You can come with her. Plus, I miss you guys so much. I miss my brothers... my three musketeers." She says.

"But Khanyisa, they have school", Fikile says.

"We can miss a few days. We don't mind." Rendani says.

We all laugh.

"And we haven't missed school EVER. Everyone in class gets at least ten days off. We can go to see sister. We don't mind." Gundo.

"I don't like school anyway. I've been asking you guys to homeschool me. You keep saying no. Had you just homeschooled me, this wouldn't be an issue." Ranwedzi.

"Ranwedzi, you will not be homeschooled - EVER." Fikile.

"Why mama?"

"Because I said so." Fikile.

"Can we miss ten days at least?" Gundo.

"No! Thomas, what's with your kids today? Are they trying to drive me insane on purpose?"

I just kiss her and say, "Relax baby. They are not getting what they want anyway."

She's a bit edgy today.

"Baby girl, let me think about it", I say to Khanyisa who is still on the line.

"I'm going to get us tickets anyway - you, kazi and me. The tickets are selling fast."

"Now you are forcing us to come", I say and we both laugh.

"How was test week, nana?" Fikile asks her.

"Hard. But Khabane helped me study and I got to use his notes from first year. One of his exam practice papers were the actual paper I wrote, so that one was a breeze. But I think I passed all papers. It's a matter of how I passed - madoda score or comfortably." Khanyisa says.

"I'm glad Khabane is a good help for you and all. But what's happening there? Is there something that Thomas and I need to know about?" Fikile asks.

"Well, I do have feelings for him. And I told him."

Fikile stops what she's doing.

"Manje niyajola?" Fikile.

"Ja, but we are taking things slow, and he understands naye ukuthi we need to pace ourselves with this", Khanyi.

I'm not sure how I feel. But I will say that I've seen Khabane genuinely care about Khanyi. I have different feelings towards him compared to what I felt with Reahile before I gave him a chance. Maybe Reahile prepared me to be more open-minded, I don't know. But I have some kind of security knowing that Khanyi is up there protected by Khabane from what Tholoana Kingdom could do to her. He has a good balance of edge and safe. She's in good hands.

I zoned out of the conversation for a split second and now they are talking about family planning.

"So, you and Khabane are going to counselling now?" Fikile.

"Not counselling per say. His mom is taking us to a family planning specialised clinic so that we know how to understand consent from both ends, power of consent between the two of us because Khabane is significantly senior to me, and should we start having sex, how we can protect ourselves, each other and have some kind of control over things like pregnancy." Yerrr, who is Khabane's mother?

"Please send me Teboho's number", Fikile says.

"Who's Teboho, love?" I ask.

"Khabane's mother." Fikile says to me.

"Sent." Khanyi says.

"Thanks", Fikile.

"Kazi, is it a problem?" Khanyisa asks.

"No. I just want to thank her. It's very comforting that she is looking out for you - not just looking out for Khabane in that relationship. I want to thank her. But Khanyi, always remember that you come to us always. No one is going to have your back like Thomas and me. No one is going to love you like Thomas and me. We love you, baby girl. And I think we will be coming to that event of yours after all. I need to see you."

"I love you guys." Khanyi.

"We love you too, baby." Fikile and I say together.

We hang up.

Fikile takes a deep breath.

We kiss.

"We did great with her. She's perfect", I tell her.

She hugs me. She doesn't look okay.

"So, we are missing school?" Rendani.

What am I going to do with my sons?

We just laugh because wow, that's the most important thing to them.

...

We have just dropped our boys off at school. It's so much easier now that they are in the same school. Rendani is in grade one, Gundo is in grade three and Ranwedzi is in grade six. I'm actually happy. I'm very happy.

As we drive to the office, Fikile dials this Teboho person. Her phone is connected to the Bluetooth Hands-free capability in the car. I guess she wants me part of this conversation too - well, at least hear it.

"Teboho Seete, hello."

"Hi Teboho. It's Fikile."

"Fikile, hi. Are you alright?"

"I'm good, thank you. Thomas and I were speaking to Khanyisa this morning. She told us about this family planning specialized clinic that you are taking her and Khabane to."

"Yes, I am. Khanyi is a lovely young woman and she's certainly strong-willed and not likely to be bullied into anything by Khabane. But Khabane is definitely more advanced than what she is. I don't know, Fikile... maybe I'm internalizing their relationship a bit too much, but I was in Khanyi's shoes when Maboko and I started dating. Khanyi is much older than what I was - I mean, I was fourteen - but emotionally, I went through a lot. I fell in love. Hard. Fast. Young. I'm grateful that Maboko didn't take advantage of me and he's my husband today, but there are things that I could have waited a little bit longer for. Like sex. I mean I was active at fourteen and by fifteen, I was already having an abortion. It's not that Maboko raped me or anything. Everything was consented. But we could have been more responsible. And between Maboko and I, he had power over my consent because he was older and because he was more advanced. I don't want that for Khanyi. I want her and only her to have power over her consent to do anything with Khabane. She might not listen to me or you because all she hears is a parent's voice. So, from a stranger who is trained to have this conversation, we might win. And whatever happens, we know she had all the cards open to her."

"Ngiyabonga, Teboho. Truly. I had never even thought of that. What you are doing is amazing and I can never thank you enough. It's so amazing to know that Khanyi has you too and has support from the Seete family."

"We love Khanyi. Khabane is crazy about her. He has been for a long time. When he told me that they've decided to be exclusive and actually be in a relationship, I couldn't help but notice the Maboko in him. So, I have to have both their backs. Don't worry, she's home with us."

"Thank you. And this is my number. Please save it and reach out to me anytime for anything." Fikile.

"I will. You too. Please check in any time. I'll keep a close eye on the kids. I'm glad they are older than what Maboko and I were when we started dating. Khabane has done his bit and grew out of it. They are definitely more matured and in a more mature place to make the decision that they've made regarding their connection and relationship."

"Alright then. We will chat soon. Clearly, sesingabomkhozi", Fikile says and the ladies laugh.

"Please let me know how the appointment goes." Fikile.

"I'll definitely do that. Thank you for being so open-minded about this. Our daughters need this from us."

"Yeah. And I hope your baby girl finds a mother-in-law like you."

"Yoh, Ruri yena... but we'll see. All we can do is our best."

They laugh then end their call.

"You are a great mother, baby", I tell her.

"And you are an even better father." She says to me.

We hold hands.

I'm glad we are done with the girls. The boys should be much easier when they go through this phase.

My day at the office is mostly busy. This lecture that I have been invited to give at Khanyisa’s university to Honours’ and Masters’ Degree students sounds fun. I’ll be engaging young minds and that can be quite the experience for anyone. I’m just worried about all of this work that I have. Having Mfundo as our fourth CEO is honestly a blessing. Nothing gets passed him - financially. And that's important. He had companies pulling out spreadsheets and calculators to calculate ROI twice in meetings. Fikile is impressed and happy. Mfundo's shares increased as well when he became the CEO. We are all nervous about the paternity leave he is about to take because we've just been told that Nene is pregnant. We are extremely excited for him, but we need him. And HR decided that it's a brilliant idea to have paternity leave be a month - all in the spirit of inclusion. But we trust him, we know he won't leave a mess. And we have another seven or six months of him before Nene gives birth.

I'm so happy for him. He has grown into quite the young version of his father. I also am a fan of the family man in him. When he adopted Saneliso, I bought him an expensive bottle of whiskey and cigars because truly, what a man! I wish I could adopt Khanyisa. But I never know the exact vibe from Sibongiseni regarding the role that Fikile and I play in Khanyisa’s life... especially now that he had a fall out with Fikile about how he handled Khanyi's mom that day they all decided it was a good idea to tell Khanyi to return to her mother without talking to Fikile and I first. It’s the lack of manners for me. I mean, we did raise her. Sibongiseni is not involved with Khanyi - AT ALL. Khanyisa has been mine and Fikile's since she was a year and couple of months old. He just facilitates as a parent in Khanyi's life. But when we make big decisions, he wants to be included. Fikile includes him because they are close and of all her siblings, she loves him the most. But ja, I don't see what more he is to Khanyi except for being a sperm-donor. He can't even let his daughter visit him for a weekend. The last time she did, he threw her out because she disrespected Latifah. I was so angry. Throw my child out? Onto the dangerous streets of Soweto? Is he that divorced from her? To not even know how to talk to her?

What comforts me is that Khanyi knows who she is to me. And she's a Ramaru in everything except her surname. She told Sibongiseni that after her umemulo, she's changing her surname to Ramaru and Sibongiseni has never spoken to me ever since. Fikile basically reacted to that by saying, "Fuck him."

"Papa", I hear a voice say. I look up from my laptop and my eldest baby girl is here.

"Hey, baby girl", I'm so happy to see her. I stand up and make my way to hugging her.

"I was here to see Rea and he told me you aren't in a meeting, so I took a chance." She says while we are in our hug.

"Even if I were in a meeting, for you, I'd step out of it. There are only three women I'd ever step out of meetings for: My wife and my two beautiful daughters."

She laughs then we sit on one of my couches.

"How are my grandkids?" I ask her.

"A handful!" She says.

We laugh.

"I'm proud of you. You are a great mother." I tell her.

"Thank you, papa." She says.

She looks troubled.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

She takes a deep breath then says, "Do you love Khanyisa more than me?"

The hell?!

"Rofhiwa, where does that even come from?"

"My observations. She's a mini-female version of you. You do things with her - attend conferences, sleep over at her house, accept her boyfriend, do daddy-daughter dates... things you've never done with me. You know, papa... I've always watched you with her. You are different with her. And it hurts."

"Rofhiwa, you are my daughter. My first child. I became a father for the first time because of you. It’s not possible for me to love anyone more than you. I have a different relationship with each of my kids. It's usually based off your interests and how best I can connect with them. All five of you are different and I meet you at your differences."

"What's the difference between Khanyi and me that you can't have with me what you have with her?"

"Rofhiwa, you've always been a caregiver. You've never been interested in business and I couldn't force it on you. You've always wanted the life where you are a mother, a wife, a family woman... we connect on that level. We share that... the love and appreciation for family. You and I... we talk about building a family, holding it together and making sure that happiness resides in it. You go to Fikile about everything... you don't always come to me. And that's okay. I respect that there are things only she can teach you because just like you, she's a mother and a wife, raising kids and building a home every day and running a household while running a business. Khanyi loves business. It drives her. I'm her mentor. We understand the language of business and we see opportunities everywhere. When we don't see them, we look for them."

"It just feels like you connect with her more. That you love her more. At first, I thought that you were overcompensating because you didn't want her to feel some type of way because she's not biologically yours -

"Rofhiwa, you are out of line now."

"Maybe, you are the one that has forgotten that. She's not yours, papa. Any day, baba can come and want her and take her and you can't do jack about it. Maybe you overcompensate because you don't want to lose her and -

"She's my daughter. She knows it. I know it. I don't understand where your anger is coming from because I thought you and her got along."

"I'm fine with Khanyi. She's my sister. My issue is with you completely disregarding me, my feelings and putting me through half the shit you've put me through when it came to Rea. You hated Rea because his dad dated Kazi. Khanyi is your ace because kazi is related to her biologically. Papa, I knew things would change when kazi came into our lives. But, I feel like everything attached to her is now your preference and all I've become is a painful reminder of my mother. And it's not fair. It hurts! Mom's death hurt me too. I'm the one who grew up without her. I don't even have memories I can refer to when I miss her. I don't deserve for you to punish me for her death."

"Rofhiwa, I let Lydia go a long time ago."

"Does that mean you let me go too? Because she's part of me. I'm half of her. Maybe you look at me and I resemble the part of her that you can ever let go of. So you keep me away and -

"Rofhiwa, stop this. You are my child. And I love you. Believe it or not, I loved your mother. That love didn't switch off just because she passed. It still lives in me. But I have a wife now. A wife that is alive. A wife that is building with me. A wife that is helping me raise all of you. A wife that has completed our family. I don't love you less to make room for her and all my other children. I have room enough for all of you. Now I thought I was giving you space to be a mother and a wife because those roles are busy. But if you've come here to tell me that you've got enough room on your plate for me, then let's have our daddy-daughter dates. I'd be honoured to spend more time with my beautiful first daughter. Any day. I'll even cancel the busiest day of my life for you. But don't slam what other people mean to me just because you feel left out. You have my number. You know where to find me. Just talk to me. I love you."

She nods her head.

"Rea and I are going to Venda. I'm going to clean mom's tombstone. I'm wondering if it's maybe something that you and I can do together? Talk to mom about the twins even? We can take the twins with us. Rea won't mind staying behind." She says.

"I need to talk to Fikile. She's my wife and she needs to be okay with this."

She nods her head and says, "Okay."

"But it's not a thing we are going to do all the time. It's just this once and that's if Fikile is okay with it. I'm not going back there emotionally. It's not fair on Fikile."

"I understand."

"Good. Now come here and stop being silly." I say as I pull her into a hug.

What the hell just happened?!

[pisac-u-tami]

Bila je posebna, nju pamtim po kisi, toliko je voljela kisu da si je morao upamtiti, po tome je covjek mogao lako prepoznati. Znali smo dugo setati na kisi, uzivala je kao dijete, nikada nisam vidio nekoga tko toliko uziva na kisi. Kada god bi padala kisa, nikada se nije zalila, naprotiv bila je sretna, satima je mogla sjediti vani, i slusati taj prizor, gledati kako kisa pere ulice, i kako pere bol njene duse. Upoznao sam je na kisi dok je sjedila zatvorenih ociju, sa dugom kosom, i dok su se kapi lagano spustale na nju, a ona se onako lagano nasmjesila, bila je prelijepa, davala je mom zivotu smisao. Zivot kao zivot je odlucio da vrijeme nije za nas, i ako smo bili pravi, ali u pogresno vrijeme valjda, rastali smo se te veceri, na kisi, toliko je suza bilo u njenim smedim ocima da je kisa bila premala za njene suze. Te veceri sam izgubio sve sto sam imao, moju princezu kise, zauvijek.

D. 🌹.