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[mynameisdreartblog]

Christmas Decorations 3

Libra: Dreidel. A big thank you to everyone, in the room, for helping me achieve my lifelong dream of growing into a giant and rolling around in the Epcot ball like a gigantic hamster. It's been a journey, to say the least, and I'm overjoyed that you all became a part of it. […] Today, I feel a new energy fill us all, and I think we're ready for the next step in achieving our dreams. Here, at Epcot park, I can feel energy coming from all cultured sections, of the park, combining at the center of the magnum opus: the Spaceship Earth (God, it's so sexy). <Deep inhaling>, that's right, we'll see our new world order come alive at this moment. It wasn't the stars that had to aligned, but rather our theme parks that had to do so. I call upon Superland, Magic Land, and Everland to join in their power so that my body can be a vessel for Spaceship Earth. […] Yes, the light feeds into me and I can feel my soul leaving this mortal form and transferring itself into the hive consciousness of the Epcot: I can feel my veins being replaced by the power grid of the park, and I can feel my body expanding in mass to encompass several acres of Orlando. The earth now shakes and the park guests tremble in fear, but they haven't seen what I'm, no, we're capable of yet. […] I have awoken in my true form: the faceless deity that contains the pinnacle of intellect within its structure. The hamster within has awoken, and it'll roam and bring destruction upon this entire earth, all for one reason: to produce another G-Force movie. This time, it'll be perfected with the arcane energy from the gods. 

Cancer: Virtual fireplace. I have this weird sorta association with furniture stores where they have all the elements of a house, but they're organized in such a way that makes it uncanny to see them in the way they're presented in those buildings. I gaze into one just down the street, of where I work, and it's always so eerie to look into. For one, the lights aren't even on in that place for a good amount of the day, so you can tell it's an older building. The second thing is that I know the person who works there: Gertrudis. I know them from my time when I had to bargain for a decently-sized couch that could fill the receptionist's area. I ended up with two, brown hard-wedge sofas: both that never saw use after two patients ended up with their pant pocket stripped away after getting up from them. […] Gertrudis is often seen two hours before noon: they're usually wandering around the area where I bought those two sofas; they walk steadily around it. They're not doing anything malicious; they're just providing an unwelcoming yet intriguing aura: I swear, they're trying to convey something every time they walk around that specific stand. Besides them, there's also occasional condensation that appears on the windows in the middle of the summer. There's something breathing on them to cause that, and it specifically comes from where the recliners are displayed: who knows what it is, but I do know that it's real, 'cause I see Gertrudis come up to that very spot and wipe it off and never acknowledge how strange it is to be there. […] I don't know what's going on, but I think specters inhabit that place, but I don't know why they want pockets so much: I've had to embrace chaps at this point.

Virgo: I fucking hate Christmas. Does the song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer being in past tense imply that Rudolph is dead? Does every song being in past tense imply that the subject, of that song, is dead? Whatever the answer to that is, I should be focusing on festive songs: particularly about how Rudolph is a dead deer. I don't care at all about the message that deviation from the norm "will be punished unless its exploitable" stuff. What I care about is whether or not Rudolph is actually dead, and I also wanna wonder if anyone was personally devastated by his death. […] You see, I'm actually very interested in the grander lore between each pocket of Christmas stories. I've been concocting a theory for months, and it revolves around multiple festive stories: Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer, Angela's Christmas, The Night Before Christmas, & Dabangg 2. Now, we first start off with Grandma getting run over by a reindeer: in that one, Rudolph was enacting his revenge upon Grandma for the abuses he suffered under her care. Then, we move onto Angela's Christmas where she takes the Church's replica of baby Jesus in because it was actually the child of Grandma, who was run over by Rudolph. Grandma is actually the Virgin Mary in this context, and it made total sense because the commodification of Christmas (as represented by Rudolph) kills the sacred origins of the holiday by running them over. In The Night Before Christmas, the village of Dikanka is overrun with the devil by the absence of the baby Jesus and that's what leads Vakula to use the devil to help him fly to his lover, who is actually inspector Chulbul Pandey, but he's too busy trying to locate the boy who was kidnapped. […] I will explain how this all ties into The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya later.

Sagittarius: Stockings that ruined your mantel. I was really focused on that bird, but I didn't notice the art display in the background about thirty yards away. I fired the shot regardless. What resulted was a huge bullet hole in a newly purchased art piece, and a whole lot of plausible deniability. […] If you wanna know the details, I was planning to bag a blue crane to start off the hunting season, but I was given a notice telling me that they're off-limits. Because my sense of pride is very fragile, I decided to hunt for a black duck instead in order to fulfill my primal bloodlust (it makes me feel alive, you see)? My destination was set: a hillside bordering the expanse of a neighborhood in the Bhunya village just southwest of Mbabane. My gun? A Denel NTW-20 anti-materiel rifle containing a 20×82mm cartridge. The effective firing range is 1,500m with a 20×82mm cartridge: exactly what I was using. What was also 1,500m away was that priceless Michel Quarez painting: the one with a pinkish penis on it. It was a simplistic, yet imposing piece of artwork that captured the focus of my scope long before I was waiting for the duck to appear within it. It's not shameful to admit that, I hope. Rather, we shouldn't be shaming people for admiring modernistic art in any way they can: it's a media form that we're leaving behind and we need people to keep the legacy of it alive through casual admiration. […] This isn't the point though, as the real meat of this story was when that goose, er, duck finally flew into my scope. I can recall the image perfectly: it was perched on a tree branch in the exact thirty-yard distance away from me. I could feel the blood course through my trigger-finger and, without hesitation, I shot. […] Then the stupid-ass bird did an anime-esque pose and disappeared, allowing the bullet to pierce straight through the art. I ruined a beautiful penile piece and that's why I don't take hunting so seriously anymore.

[eriidian-blog]

dan out of context sentence starters: pokemon firered edition!

❝ ___ used mayonnaise! ❞

❝ gramps! i’m smelling you later. ❞

❝ do you ever think about how someday, tomorrow’s gonna be yesterday? ❞

❝ i think he was fuckin’ using chicken steroids. ❞

❝ “listen. listen. listen. HEY! listen. ❞

❝ SAVE MY BABY! ❞

❝ where does the goo come out of? ❞

❝ you can’t earn your philadelphia badge until you’ve eaten a cheese stick and killed a guy. ❞

❝ fuck you, i’m the president! ❞

❝ good news! it’s jizz! next question! ❞

❝ look at me. look down. now look up. your penis is now diamonds. ❞

❝ one sneeze does not relieve the sneezitude that needs to happen. ❞

❝ this guy means business, he can back it up with fisticuffs. ❞

❝ if christmas were nuts, and butts were candy… where am i? ❞

❝ i killed people. for a living. for a LONG time. ❞

❝ chances of you ever being god? slim. ❞

❝ it’s like edible underwear. you always eat one on the way home so you gotta just fuckin’ buy two. ❞

❝ i don’t wanna burst your bicibubble. ❞

❝ yo, god. where’s my flan at? ❞

❝ is throwing rocks effective against chickens? ❞

❝ you and i are DONION RINGS. ❞

❝ how am i supposed to sleep with sexy green space women now? ❞

❝ where were you on the night of…tomorrow? ❞

❝ why is he waist-deep in SHIT? ❞

❝ who dares to try to usurp my FUCKTHRONE? ❞

❝ riddle me this, you scandalous bitch. ❞

❝ yo. are you ready for something three times as awesome as you? ❞

❝ i just corner you with boners and logic. ❞

❝ it just makes me sound like i’m made out of pipe cleaners. ❞

❝ we’re not spinnakers, we’re juggalos. get it right! why does everyone keep calling us this? ❞

❝ how else are they supposed to fuckin’ signal to each other that they’re down to clown until they’re dead in the ground? ❞

❝ you’ll never find it. the money is in my, uh, initialed, monogrammed underwear that my mom sewed in. ❞

❝ a fucking radish just poisoned your nuts. ❞

❝ you’ve been farting nonstop, all day, since i met you. ❞

❝ did… did he want poop? ❞

❝ jesus is coming, look busy. ❞

❝ i don’t know! we were just playing pokemon one minute, then i killed your parents. ❞

❝ i’ll fucking beat you with my charity money. ❞

❝ good morning, moon! it’s my favorite day of the week! wednesturday. ❞

❝ thanks for… killing my pets, who i loved. ❞

❝ that place has quite the boob on it. ❞

❝ do they have a convention for convicted felons called ‘con con’? ❞

❝ i’d fist fight literally ANY penguin you put in front of me. ❞

❝ old ladies look more like goblins than anybody. ❞

❝ dude, i’d totally have sex with google. ❞

❝ my other option was to gently rest my testicles on your palm. ❞

❝ yeah, whatever, you cure disease. can you JUGGLE? ❞

❝the first rule of lawyer school: don’t call it lawyer school. ❞

❝ would you have a problem with pulling up your pants so i wouldn’t have to see seven eighths of your buttcrack? ❞

❝ this shit is like vitamins to me. ❞

❝ you throw grenades down there and they actually build houses. ❞

❝ it’s been a long time since i got a gross, walmart blowjob. ❞

❝ fishing is bullshit, all i’m catching is fish! ❞

❝ it’s not murder if you film it! ❞

❝ in fact, it’s almost impossible to drown without water. ❞

❝ GIMME A FUCKIN’ SECOND HERE. ❞

❝ my own arms repel themselves. ❞

❝ on with my tiny army of purple hamsters. ❞

❝ i thought ‘bagging’ referred to putting a condom on. ❞

❝ finally, i get to have one last coke-and-hooker binge! ❞

❝ i was getting head when i was, like, six. ❞

❝ get this fucking onion off my back! ❞

❝ my nostrils are in different timezones. ❞

❝ i’ll pick you up by the feet and throw you out the window. ❞

❝ i watched 87 movies and killed a guy. ❞

[bowlsister75-blog]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: The 24 Best Songs, Ranked From Great to Spectacular

Even without the songs, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend would still be one of the best comedies on TV: a sharply insightful, wickedly subversive, riotously funny rom-com that is fully aware it’s a rom-com. But the show’s original songs — all 150-some of them! — have elevated it into something wholly unique and unmatched anywhere on TV.

RELATED STORIES

With Crazy Ex taking its final bow with Friday’s series finale (The CW, 8/7c) — no, we’re not anywhere close to being ready to say goodbye yet — we’re honoring four seasons of musical comedy genius by ranking the very best Crazy Ex songs from the entire series. To be clear, there are many, many worthy songs that it pained us to leave off this list. (Sincere apologies to the likes of “Maybe This Dream,” “F—kton of Cats” and, um, “Period Sex.”) But these are the absolute cream of the crop, the essential songs in the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend canon. And what’s great is, even if you’ve never seen the show, you can enjoy these songs as one-off musical comedy sketches. They’re that good!

So grab a Rebetzel’s Pretzel and join us as we waltz, tap and Soul Train our way down West Covina’s memory lane and look back on the very best Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs from all four seasons. Hey, if we keep singing, the show can’t really end, right?

24. “No One Else Is Singing My Song” (Season 4, Episode 1)

Rebecca started out the final season in prison, and sang this mournful ballad about how alone she felt — not knowing that Nathaniel and Josh were feeling the exact same way. (And singing about it, too.) It’s one of the least overtly comical songs in the Crazy Ex songbook, but it packs a huge emotional punch, especially when the whole cast touches hands in a 12-way split-screen. (Even the creepy grocery guy.)

23. “I Could if I Wanted To” (Season 1, Episode 16)

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo. Back when Greg was still an alcohol-soaked sourpuss — and looked a lot different than he does now — he delivered this Weezer-y anthem for cynical jerks everywhere, boasting about all the great stuff he could do in life if he actually gave two s—ts about anything. Like it, don’t like it, whatever… not like he cares.

22. “Santa Ana Winds” (Season 2, Episode 11)

This insanely catchy doo-wop ditty is a perfect example of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend finding laughs in a highly specific subject: the gusty Santa Ana winds that plague southern California each year. Here, a Frankie Valli-style vocalist — bravo, Eric Michael Roy — sings of the fierce winds of change blowing through Rebecca’s life, which bring with them “whimsy and forest fires.” Good luck getting this one out of your head.

21. “I’m the Villain in My Own Story” (Season 1, Episode 14)

Here, Rebecca goes the Disney route for a tune where she realizes maybe she’s not the beautiful princess in her love triangle with Josh and Valencia… maybe she’s the cackling witch. The music on this one would slide right into the soundtrack of any Disney cartoon, it has fantastically self-aware lyrics that touch on one of the series’ major themes… and Rachel Bloom’s evil witch voice is just impeccable.

20. “First Penis I Saw” (Season 3, Episode 7)

Donna Lynne Champlin has given us more than a few memorable tunes as Rebecca’s trusty pal Paula, but none can top this upbeat, ABBA-esque tribute to her first real boyfriend… and, well, his distinctive genitalia. (You never forget your first, right?) Bonus points for Paula and her bandmates singing into cucumbers and eggplants in the “Suggestive Vegetables” aisle.

19. “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” (Season 1, Episode 3)

Along with playing lovable dummy Josh Chan, Vincent Rodriguez III is one hell of a dancer, and he gets to show off all kinds of moves in this charming boy-band number, where he — well, four of him, really — reassure a smitten Rebecca that she can let all of her childhood traumas go. (They are licensed mental health professionals, after all.) It’s sneaky emotional, too; that moment where Rebecca hugs her younger self and dances with her gets us every time.

18. “We Tapped That Ass” (Season 2, Episode 4)

Josh and Greg team up for this snappy tap-dance number where they exchange notes about their, uh, intimate encounters with Rebecca. The lyrics are jam-packed with naughty wordplay (“On the ottoman, you took a lot of men…”) and double-entendres that we’re surprised made it past the CW censors. They even finish on her chest… of drawers, you sickos.

17. “Where’s the Bathroom?” (Season 1, Episode 8)

God bless Tovah Feldshuh. As Rebecca’s supremely judgy mom Naomi, the Broadway veteran unleashes a whirlwind of passive-aggression while visiting her daughter in this rapid-fire tune, demanding to know where the bathroom is while still dishing out backhanded compliments. (“You’re looking healthy/And by healthy, I mean chunky…”) She even judges Rebecca’s bathroom once she gets there! Anyone with a Jewish mother — or any mother, really — can relate.

16. “I Go to the Zoo” (Season 3, Episode 3)

We can’t stop giggling every time we think about this supremely goofy Drake-inspired slow jam about… Nathaniel’s love of going to the zoo? (Hey, it makes him feel better, alright?) The silky smooth beats are a strangely fitting accompaniment for Nathaniel’s ode to his beloved zoo animals. (“My favorite’s probably the cheetahs/But I ain’t f—king with no zebras.”) Just another hyper-specific, hyper-hysterical Crazy Ex tune that we’ll probably hum every time we go to the zoo from now on.

15. “The Sexy Getting Ready Song” (Season 1, Episode 1)

Right away, in the very first episode, Rachel Bloom let us know what to expect from Crazy Ex with this sultry, silly chronicle of all the plucking and scrubbing women do to get ready for a date. (The back-up singers are there to help Rebecca get into her shapewear, at least.) We couldn’t agree more with the rapper Nipsey Hussle (RIP), who has a cameo midway through: This is some “nasty-ass patriarchal bulls—t.”

14. “Let’s Have Intercourse” (Season 2, Episode 11)

Scott Michael Foster joined the Crazy Ex cast late as cocky corporate guy Nathaniel, but he made a great first impression with this Ed Sheeran-esque ballad in which he gets very specific about what he’d like to do with Rebecca. It’s not terribly romantic — he just wants to “see what [her] nipples look like,” really — but the admittedly gross lyrics make for a hilarious contrast with the lilting, sensitive-dude guitar. And the ballroom dancing’s not bad, either!

13. “Settle For Me” (Season 1, Episode 4)

A song for guys and gals everywhere hopelessly stuck in the friend zone, Greg tries to convince Rebecca to forget Josh and give him a shot with an elegant, old-school number complete with tuxedos and gowns. (“Like two percent milk or seitan beef, I almost taste the same!”) As with a lot of Crazy Ex songs, the buoyant music and snappy dancing help to mask the crushing sadness of the lyrics. So twirly!

12. “We’ll Never Have Problems Again” (Season 2, Episode 10)

Who’s ready to disco? This relentlessly peppy dance track is a hilarious examination of the comforting lies young lovers tell themselves about their future — “No more ups and downs/It’s just ups and ups and ups!” — and it also happens to be ridiculously catchy. Besides, any song that gives Heather an excuse to “Soul Train on outta here” is a keeper in our book.

11. “Friendtopia” (Season 2, Episode 6)

Most musical comedies would be happy with a note-perfect Spice Girls parody, but Crazy Ex had to take it several steps further: Rebecca’s cheerfully sinister girl-power jam is actually a full-on military manifesto, with her, Heather and Valencia plotting to take over the world. (“All agriculture will be diverted/Into making us rosé!”) You’ll never hear the term “squad goals” the same way again… and you better like watching Hocus Pocus.

10. “Remember That We Suffered” (Season 2, Episode 10)

In true Jewish mom fashion, this jaunty dirge is eager to remind listeners that the Jewish people have had a rough go of it for, oh, a few centuries now — so don’t enjoy yourself too much! It’s the perfect distillation of morbid Jewish humor, Tovah Feldshuh continues to be this show’s secret weapon — and bonus points for including the legendary Patti LuPone and her even more legendary voice.

9. “A Diagnosis” (Season 3, Episode 6)

One of the least comical Crazy Ex songs, but one of the most emotionally resonant, this triumphant showstopper sees Rebecca celebrating the fact that she’s been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder after years of struggling with her mental health. We’ve been struggling right along with her, so it’s cathartic to see her so full of hope here, and Rachel Bloom’s vocals positively soar. A beautiful tribute to a major turning point in Rebecca’s life.

8. “Love Kernels” (Season 2, Episode 1)

We all know Rebecca could live for days off a single compliment from her beloved Josh Chan, and she puts that poignant desperation into song here with a Lemonade-esque torch song. It’s probably Crazy Ex‘s most sweepingly ambitious music video, with plenty of costume changes — our favorite is a tie between “sexy fashion cactus” and “hamster slurping from a water bottle” — but of course, it openly acknowledges how wildly expensive it must be, too. (Hi, Broom Darryl.)

7. “It Was a S–t Show” (Season 2, Episode 4)

Greg’s farewell lament to Rebecca sheds light on a frustratingly familiar romantic situation: They liked each other a lot, but they knew full well they were just terrible together. (“Chernobyl, next to us, looks like a campfire/Hurricane Katrina was just bad weather…”) Like many great Crazy Ex songs, it’s hilarious and heart-wrenching, all at the same time — and man, Santino Fontana can sing, right?

6. “You Stupid Bitch” (Season 1, Episode 11)

Crazy Ex has had four different theme songs, one for each season (we’re partial to Season 2’s “I’m Just a Girl in Love,” for the record), but this ballad is truly Rebecca Bunch’s theme song. Deeply scathing and cleverly meta all at once, Rebecca harshly chides herself for all of her many mistakes… and not for the first time. (Her audience knows every word!) It’s a stunning depiction of the self-hating voice inside all of us, and probably Rachel Bloom’s best vocal performance of the series to boot.

5. “JAP Battle” (Season 1, Episode 13)

Yes, Rachel Bloom can rap, too: This hilarious hip-hop showdown between Rebecca and her sworn frenemy Audra Levine — a pair of Jewish-American princesses, you see — is a treasure trove of cutting insults (in Yiddish, of course) and references to tony New York hometowns. Guest star Rachel Grate proves herself a very worthy opponent as Audra, and the mean-mug faces that Darryl, Paula and Josh make as Rebecca’s backup crew are just priceless.

4. “Don’t Be a Lawyer” (Season 4, Episode 3)

Burl Moseley’s Jim has been a background player for most of Crazy Ex‘s run, but he hit it out of the park with this spotlight number: a sizzling ’90s R&B throwback jam about the perils of pursuing the legal profession. The vintage fashions and dance moves are perfectly on point, and the lyrics are quite persuasive, actually: “The job is inherently crappy/That’s why you’ve never met a lawyer who’s happy!”

3. “The Math of Love Triangles” (Season 2, Episode 3)

This is probably the pinnacle of the classic Crazy Ex formula: Start with a spot-on recreation of a classic song genre — the ditzy-girl tune, a la Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes — and add a brilliantly meta twist to it. Here, a dolled-up Rebecca wants to understand the elements of her love triangle with Josh and Greg, but keeps getting adorably confused by all the “man math,” and Rachel Bloom’s over-the-top breathy vocals make it all even funnier. Whee, a swing!

2. “Let’s Generalize About Men” (Season 3, Episode 1)

The genius of this Pointer Sisters-inspired toe-tapper is that it’s both a “yas, queen” girl-power anthem and a parody of those anthems, pointing out the flaws in painting all 3.6 billion men on this planet with the same broad brush. (“Let’s take one bad thing about one man/And apply it to all of them!”) It’s catchy enough that you could fool us into thinking it actually made the pop charts in the mid-’80s, and the twist ending, when Paula remembers that her sons are also men, is maybe the most brutally funny punchline of the whole series.

1. “West Covina” (Season 1, Episode 1)

Could Crazy Ex-Girlfriend‘s very best song also be its very first song? Yes, we believe it could. Rebecca’s dizzingly romantic ode to her new hometown — and the guy who just happens to live there — manages to set the tone for the entire series: delightfully clever (the visual gags at the start still make us giggle) and heartbreakingly earnest all at the same time. There’s a giddy, go-for-broke magic to it, and it all builds to a massive dance number featuring dozens of extras and one giant pretzel, as if to say, “You’ve never seen anything quite like this on TV before.” And they were right: We hadn’t… and we never will again.

Did your favorite Crazy Ex song not make our list? Sing it out in the comments below.

Source: https://tvline.com/2019/04/01/crazy-ex-girlfriend-best-songs-list-music-videos-watch/

[russellthornton]

Intense Orgasm Checklist: 10 Tiny Fixes for a Jaw Dropping Orgasm

Who wouldn’t want an intense orgasm? I mean, what’s the point of sex if no one if going to experience a jaw dropping orgasm? Exactly.

Most men, when ejaculating, have an orgasm. In fact, for men, it’s almost 9/10 times that they’ll orgasm during an ejaculation. However, for women, that’s a whole different story.

When I mean a whole different story, I mean, it’s basically the opposite. Many women never experience an orgasm. Scary, right? That used to be my fear until I became determined to have an orgasm. Luckily, the partner I was with was also determined to make me orgasm.

How to have an intense orgasm

Now, once you orgasm, you’re going to wake up the next day feeling like a completely different person, almost as if you were reborn.

It’s like, what the fuck were you doing before this? If you can have an orgasm, congrats, you are shockingly a rare percentage of the female population. Now, let’s amp that up and make it an intense orgasm. [Read: How to make a woman orgasm – 15 secrets to master the art]

Go big or go home.

#1 Breathing is everything. We all know that you’ll be breathing while having sex, that’s a given. But, you’ll be surprised by how changing your breathing can affect your sexual experience.

While having sex, try to switch up your breathing. Go for short breaths to increase arousal. On the other hand, you can try deep, slow breaths to decrease your arousal, making you more sensitive.

#2 Work on your pelvic floor. Ah yes, the pelvic floor. This is an extremely important muscle in the female body. What you want to do is squeeze your PC by tightening your genitals. It’s a similar sensation to when you stop peeing or hold in a bowel movement.

You want to squeeze it when you’re aroused, this will intensify your orgasm, stop it, or prolong it. You’ll want to practice this a couple times a day using different durations of time. [Read: Kegel and how to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles in under two minutes]

#3 Tease yourself. I know you want to orgasm right now, but don’t. Instead, tease yourself. This will intensify the orgasm. What you need to do is delay gratification, so, just before you’re about to climax, stop. You’re probably thinking that this is stupid, but it’s not, it’ll build up the intensity for when you’re about to orgasm. [Read: Edging and the art of explosive delayed orgasms]

#4 Switch up the way you masturbate. Like with anything, eventually, you get used to similar patterns. This is the same thing for masturbation. Your body becomes used to the way you masturbate. So, what you need to do is keeping your body surprised.

Try out different methods when it comes to masturbation. Maybe use a toy instead, or use your fingers instead of a toy. Showing your body all these different methods relaxes your body and allows you to orgasm using different methods. [Read: How to finger yourself – 15 moves to bring yourself to ecstasy]

#5 Get the oxytocin flowing. You want to get that “love hormone,” oxytocin, flowing through your veins. You may not think about it, but this hormone is strongly correlated to orgasms.

Now, how to get this hormone activated? Through cuddling, hugging and other acts of affection towards your partner. You’ll be surprised at how this will positively affect your relationship as well.

#6 Go heavy on the foreplay. I’m an advocate for foreplay, I think people have forgotten the importance of it. Plus, it’s so much fun. Everyone nowadays is all about just sticking it in and getting it done with, but that’s not sex.

By focusing your time on foreplay, you can increase the chances of orgasming significantly, so, foreplay is there for a reason. Don’t forget the foreplay. [Read: How to foreplay – The key for the best sex of your life]

#7 Focus on the clit. The clit is where it’s at, people. That’s where your partner should be focusing their attention, on that little puppy.

If you’re unable to orgasm during intercourse or when you’re alone, it’s because you’re not giving your clitoris enough attention. And believe me, she needs a more attention than you think. [Read: Clitoris stimulation – All the sexy ways to please the clitoris]

#8 Experiment with toys. You’ll have to fiddle around and find a sex toy that actually suits you and fits. Sometimes to get an intense orgasm, you don’t need a penis inside you. In fact, sometimes you don’t even need a man.

Instead, that battery operated penis can do it for you. Plus, if you’re solo, you’ll be able to try these things out on your own, so there’s no pressure.

#9 Eat wisely. I’m not saying you need to go on a diet in order to orgasm. But, you should be eating clean. If fast food is the only thing that’s landing in your stomach, you’re slowing your body down and filling it with shit.

This affects your sex life greatly. Plus, if you eat foods like peaches and oatmeal, they’ll help boost your libido – which means hello, intense orgasm! [Read: Nom-nom no-nos – 17 foods to avoid for great sex]

#10 Sweat… outside the bedroom. I had to clarify. Yes, sweat outside the bedroom. What I’m trying to say is, work out. You don’t have to do the hamster wheel at the gym, but you have to do something.

You need to sweat. Sure, it’ll make you feel more sexy and confident, but more importantly, exercising helps regulate your hormones. Maybe you’ve been in a slump lately and haven’t been able to orgasm. Work out, and you’ll see the difference.

[Read: Tantric sex – The beginners guide to the most explosive orgasms of your life]

Now that you know what you have to do in order to have an intense orgasm, it’s time you put this into practice. Orgasming is amazing, but having an intense one will blow your mind.

The post Intense Orgasm Checklist: 10 Tiny Fixes for a Jaw Dropping Orgasm is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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