#sexy ass priest

[illiana-mystery]

*priest kink intensifies...even faster*

[neptunym]

in honor of me finally beating gabriel i drew him shirtless lets go 👏👏

[osamucide]

⊹ I AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A NASTY DOG!

. . . BSD MEN AS OVERUSED PORN PLOTS!

wc: 5.3k

cw: MINORS DNI—explicit sexual content, gn!+afab!reader, a lot of anonymous sex, dirty talk, BIG DICK MEN, probably a good amount of ooc, some questionable dynamics/dubcon that can be read through the lens of roleplay and/or prior consent. character-specific warnings—chuuya: public sex, penetration; dazai: penetration, riding, creampie; kunikida: professor/student, oral (m!receiving); fukuzawa: secretary/boss, office sex, oral (m!receiving), facefucking; atsushi: HEAVY DUBCON WARNING, stuck, perv atsushi, penetration; akutagawa: blackmailing if you squint, degradation, choking, penetration; oda: penetration; ango: public sex, penetration, riding; nikolai: dubcon, home intruder f!masturbation, penetration; sigma: a tiny bit of perv sigma, oral (f!receiving); fyodor: priest!fyodor, religion/blasphemy kink, christianity-specific, oral (m!receiving)

reid: putting my dual major in journalism to work by subtitling these like bad porn videos. little not so thought out drabbles many with no definitive ending just silly whore thoughts. some are more stupid than sexy but either way i hope you enjoy because this was a blast to write HAHAHAHA

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

⊹ CHUUYA NAKAHARA—HOT GYM BUDDIES CAN’T WAIT UNTIL AFTER THEIR WORKOUT TO FUCK!

“Yeah, that’s a lot better. Look at you, you got it,” the pretty redhead mutters, his hands still firmly on your hips as he spots your squat. “Give me one more, I know you can.”

The praise prompts you to draw in a deep breath that has nothing to do with your next squat; anyway, this gorgeous man, kind enough to help you with your form, believes in you. So you bend once more, squatting down, down, and pushing back up—until on your way back up, you feel your legs begin to buckle.

“Woah, woah.” It’s sweet how concerned he sounds as his hands fly up to the bar and his feet nudge you forward to help you replace the weight on the rack, but his hips end up pressed to yours, and you’re gasping. “You okay?”

You’re fine, caged between him and the bar as he leans over your shoulder to glimpse your face that’s flushed from exertion. Only exertion, surely, even though your ass is pressed firmly to his pelvis. He doesn’t seem hard, but you can still feel it, and it feels big.

“Yeah,” you breathe, moving to duck under the bar, but it’s low and you’re feeling a little dizzy, so you teeter backwards into him, and as his hands find your waist again. “Yeah, I’m about to be done anyway.”

“You should really stretch after maxing out like that,” he suggests, turning you around. “Don’t wanna be hurting, do you?”

But you can only look into his intense eyes and shake your head lightly before he’s easing you to the ground on your back, settling each of his knees over one of your thighs, and slotting his shoulder beneath your hamstring. He pushes forward, gently, slowly, looking to you for anything wrong; and there isn’t.

There’s nothing wrong, except for the fact that you can feel his huge dick against your pussy through both of your shorts.

It’s all you need to start moving blindly, reaching down for his waistband, pawing at his neck, mashing his lips to yours, and he doesn’t hesitate to do it back—he lets up on your leg only to slip your shorts off before your ankle is back over his shoulder and he’s grinding the head of his cock into your wetness.

“You gonna let me in, baby?” he pants hotly, looking down at you squirming beneath him. “Yeah, I know you will—you’re strong, you can take it.”

His tip catches on your clit, and you gasp before he’s plunging into you, setting a brutal pace. “Oh, fuck!”

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” he groans. “So fuckin’ tight.”

He hits the inside of you perfectly, his soft ginger hair falling loose from its low pony—you wish you knew his name so you could scream it, but you settle for moaning, panting, cussing, as he throws your other leg over his shoulder and drills into you on the gym mat. ⊹

⊹ OSAMU DAZAI—MY OLDER BROTHER ALMOST CAUGHT ME FUCKING HIS BEST FRIEND!

“Shit—I’ll be back, gonna go shower this off. Asshole.”

That was what your older brother, Chuuya, grumbled at Dazai before scurrying off to the bathroom. The three of you had just gotten back from getting ice cream, and Dazai had the brilliant idea of snatching Chuuya’s cone from him and sticking it in his hair. Cursing ensued the entire walk home.

And Dazai popped the tail end of his cone in his mouth and grabbed for your wrists as soon as your brother was out of sight, which leads you to now—in the living room, on the couch, bouncing furiously on his cock as he grunts.

“Osamu—be quiet!” you plead with him, but you’re moaning, too.

His lips fall into a grin. “Don’t worry, cutie, I can still hear the shower—fuck! Just keep—keep doing that, you feel so fucking good.”

So you reinforce your grip on his shoulders and slam your hips down to meet his, over and over, drawing sinful sounds from both of your bodies as you’re separated by a single thin wall from your brother—Dazai’s best friend, who would probably murder both of you if he found out you were fucking.

And then the water turns off. You muffle the choked cry you let out into Dazai’s shoulder, so damn frustrated that you won’t get there, not before Chuuya comes back—but Dazai’s flipping you onto your back, grabbing you by your hips, pulling you into him with such fervor that you almost shout.

“Need it, baby, I need to cum in this pussy—”

“Osamu!”

But even you can’t tell if you’re egging him on or warning him to stop—with no sound buffer and Chuuya undoubtedly coming back any minute, your body decides for you that you need it, too, you need to cum and you will, no matter how much your mind protests; your eyes flick nervously up to the hallway when they’re not rolling back from how Dazai’s rearranging your guts.

“He’s gonna come back—unh—and you’re gonna sit here with my cum in you, and he won’t even fuckin’ know.”

He’s digging his nails into your hips and ass, making you twitch, reaching down to rub your clit hard, and when you cum, clenching around him, he shoves his palm over your mouth and spills into you with a last few wet smacks.

Dazai’s scrambling back into his pants as footsteps pad down the hall; he all but throws himself at the other end of the couch as you curl up, dressed but fucked silly, focused on not letting the evidence of what just happened gush out of you and leak onto the couch.

“Fuck was that noise?” Chuuya mumbles, sauntering out as he’s tying his wet hair up.

“Hm? I don’t know, I didn’t hear anything.”

When Chuuya turns toward the kitchen, Dazai tosses you a wink. Your face burns as you feel yourself leaking. ⊹

⊹ DOPPO KUNIKIDA—COLLEGE HOTTIE SUCKS DICK FOR EXTRA CREDIT!

"You do realize I'm going to have to fail you," your professor informs you, looking into your eyes with a little regret. Truthfully, you've always been personable in class and shown promise as a student, and he's disappointed. Not in you, just in your poor academic performance during your final semester.

"There has to be something I can do to make up for it," you nearly plead, hands clasped together on the edge of his desk as you look to him with hope. You know you've been slacking, but you need this class to graduate.

"I don't know—" He sighs your name, clearly confliced. Your attendance record is less than impressive these days, and Kunikida's enforced a strict class participation policy throughout his years of teaching—as well as no extra credit—something he makes clear to all of his students in all of his classes, and you especially should know better after taking his classes for four years. "I don't know. Like what?" Maybe you can do a few credits in the summer and still walk at graduation, or pick up an internship. But he wants you to take the initiative and accountability.

He doesn't really know how to protest when you're slipping out of your seat and sinking to your knees as a spark starts to gleam in your eyes. You rattle off a few academic ideas for posterity, but ultimately find your hands sliding up his thighs and fiddling with his belt.

Fuck it, you think, you'll be out of here soon enough. Plus, Kunikida's always been kind, compassionate, understanding, and sexy—too invested in his field to even notice that handfuls of students on campus would throw themselves at him given the chance. Maybe he'll finally understand, you muse to yourself, as you work his hardening cock out of his dress pants.

He chokes out your name when you take his length in both of your hands; he's all the way gone when you're swirling your tongue over his tip, giving in to your little idea for extra credit sooner than he'd ever admit to himself.

"Oh, fuck—" He's staring up at the ceiling of his office in pure bliss because his student is working hot, sloppy kisses down the underside of his cock. His hands twist into your hair, and you gaze up at him, doe-eyed, as his head falls forward and he looks at you through his glasses. "Keep going. Don't fucking stop."

He's trying not to thrust into your mouth when you fondle his balls; his pretty blond bangs are dampening with sweat, and you can't take your eyes off him as you bob your head faster, hollowing your cheeks around him and moaning at the taste of your professor's cock heavy in your mouth. He twitches and jumps at your attention to detail—your fingers raking tracks down his thighs, your frantic tongue, your fluttering lashes and sugary moans, gags, and slurps that are music to him.

You know, as he falls apart more and more by the second, you won't have to worry about this class anymore.

"Unh—uh, yes, oh, fuck, we'll work something out, yeah, gorgeous? Just don't stop—d—don't stop, don't fucking stop, I'm gonna cum down that pretty throat, yeah, and we'll get it all figured out." ⊹

⊹ YUKICHI FUKUZAWA—NAUGHTY SECRETARY SEDUCES HOT BOSS!

You're perched on his desk when he returns from the meeting—Yukichi, your boss, who, lately, you can't stop thinking about climbling like a tree. You're sure your coworkers see it, too, but you're his personal assistant; no one gets to be as close to him as you, and he trusts you.

Which is why you'll put the moves on him today.

He runs a hand through his silver hair—obviously stressed—sighing as he pulls his office door shut and turns to you. He speaks your name, holds a few papers in your direction, begins instructing you on what he needs from you next.

But you know better what he needs. The papers that make their way into your hands are quickly forgotten about on his desk as you uncross your legs and hop down, sauntering up to place on hand on his arm, the other on his chest.

"Sir, you look so tense. Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do?"

He makes his way to sit down in his office chair, disregarding your touch in a way that has you following after him like a puppy in need of attention.

He doesn't answer, but he also doesn't protest when you settle between his knees beneath his desk and push his yukata and haori up to pool around his hips. His dick is thick and veiny, even soft; when you spit in your hand and begin to work him up and down his mouth falls open with a sigh, and he grows at least two inches as he hardens beneath your grip.

You didn't think you'd be able to fit his absolute monster cock in your mouth, but you find yourself, throat open, with your nose pressed to his happy trail as you swirl your tongue and breathe through your nose frantically; he holds your face down, speaking very little but making up for it with the way he grunts hotly in that deep, rough voice as he bucks into the back of your throat.

"Unh—ugh..."

You breathe through your nose as his hips fall into a brutal pace; his hands on either side of your head keep you pinned in place as he uses you, takes his stress out on you. Your fingers massage his balls, and you can't help the way you hum around him when he twitches in your mouth.

Yukichi pulls out of your jaw and you gasp for air, wiping the spit that drips down your chin with the back of your hand, but he's not done. When he does speak, it's demanding, low, and it makes your cunt throb with need.

"Get up. Get up, sit on the desk. 'Need to fuck you."

You do as you’re told, open up for him with no hesitation, smiling as he works his fat cock into you—yeah, his stress will be gone in no time with the way he fucks your hole so hard and fast that you shake with each creak of his desk. ⊹

⊹ ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA—STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR WITH MY SEXY NEIGHBOR!

"Ah! Atsushi, open the door!"

"Um," he frets, punching the button until he's sure it'll break. If it's not broken already. "I—I can't, it's not working!"

Not working? Is he fucking serious? You're trapped in the door—all you did was try to reach back out for your bag you'd set by the elevator and now you're stuck, by the waist, between the two sliding maneuvers, your bag dangling from your hands.

"It's supposed to have a sensor! It's not supposed to even close when someone's on the threshold!" you cry through your teeth as you try to squirm out. Atsushi's mind is already working, though, over the way you're pinned in half, wiggling your ass as you struggle against the industrial strength of the elevator door. "Atsushi, help me, please call someone or something—"

But his hands are on your hips, pulling backward, and you can't help the noise of surprise that slips out of you.

"Atsu', I seriously don't think that will work, please, just call—Atsushi!"

His hands shake as he slides your pants and underwear down your thighs, exposing your ass; he tunes out your protesting as he undoes his belt. You hear the clink of it hitting the ground, you feel his fingers dipping into your cunt from behind, and he cannot be fucking serious.

"I'm sorry," he cries like it's out of his control—he feels like it is. "I'm sorry, you're so hot, you're right here, I've wanted this for so long."

And you feel yourself beginning to drip at his desperate tone. You can't fucking believe it—this is depraved. This is some shit you would've never expected from the sweet, cute boy in the apartment across the hall who helped you drag your bedframe and couch from this very elevator to your room but here he is, prodding at you with his pathetically leaky cock while you're stuck in the damn elevator door.

And you'd be frustrated with how your body reacts, but as he slides his dick along your cunt, drenching himself in your wetness, you can't help but arch back into his touch.

"Atsushi, you have to fuck me, please."

And he does, fast and unpracticed—he whimpers for you, tells you you're all he thinks about when he jerks off; he confesses that he looks through his peephole when he knows you're leaving for work or school just to get at least one glimpse of you everyday to fuel his imagination, and you gush around him, the pain of the door trapping you falling irrelevant, drifting out of your mind, as he buries his face in your shoulder and humps into you like an animal, pounding against your cervix.

"Fuck, that's right, so good, so, so good—better than I could've imagined—agh, fuck, that's right, take it all, take it, take it, take it...!" ⊹

⊹ RYUUNOSUKE AKUTAGAWA—HOT BABE HAS NO MONEY, LETS THE DELIVERY BOY DESTROY THAT PUSSY!

You rifle through your wallet and hum when you come up short. "Um, I... know you said you don't have a card reader, but I don't have enough cash."

The delivery boy looks at you with little more than boredom until you invite him in.

"Here, let me look in my room—I might have more stashed somehwere..."

He stands over you, searching you with his curious gray eyes as you dig through a drawer, a bag, another bag, only to come up short again. You even peek under your mattress for good measure, but you're just out. You turn to him sheepishly.

"I, uh... I don't have enough, I'm really sorry."

"Well, I can't leave without some form of payment," he deadpans, and you try to think of something, anything—you have a few giftcards for other delivery services, some jewelry—but he's letting his bag fall off his shoulder and grabbing you by the hips before you can register what he means.

You end up face down, ass up on your bed as a compromise, his hips rutting into you from behind as he holds your wrists behind your back. Ryuunosuke his name tag read—you're quick to adopt a way around that mouthful, moaning out, "Ryuu, Ryuu, please!" as he splits you open and calls you a whore.

"Fuckin' slut—"

When you're able to glance back for a second you can see his pretty black hair swaying with each rough thrust, and you're sure he's hitting your lungs—he's so fucking deep inside you, and you're gasping, moaning for more.

"—so eager to—unh—take this dick. Probably hiding your cash somewhere."

But whether you are or not doesn't matter; your eyes are rolling back to the hard smack of his hips against your ass and the white-hot pleasure that rolls through you every time he plows straight into your g-spot, and he's throbbing inside of you at the way your cunt grips him. Your pizza's getting cold on the counter in your kitchen, but you don't care—not when he bunches his fingers up in your hair to arch you back up to him so he can wrap his other hand around your throat.

You hold onto him as he bends you, pulling air down into your lungs when you can, and his gravelly voice barrages you with more words that make you gush around his cock.

"Gonna let me cum in this pussy so you don't have to fork over a few bucks for a pizza? Pathetic."

His teeth sink into your shoulder, his other hand reaches down to torture your neglected clit, and you're sure he's gonna break you over this, your hot delivery boy who just so happened to have the idea to fill you up as payment. You pant his name desperately between thunderous moans—you're gonna cum soon. ⊹

⊹ SAKUNOSUKE ODA—THIS PLUMBER FIXED MORE THAN JUST MY PIPES!

"Okay, that should do it." The man stands up, back to a height at which he towers over you, and you lean on the doorframe to the kitchen as he shuts the cabinets beneath your sink. "It's all movin' again."

You were in your robe when you answered the door, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't run to the bathroom to fix your hair and swipe on a little lip balm while he was working. Really, you hadn't meant to try to fuck the plumber. But this man was gorgeous, with his auburn hair, stubble-lined jaw, large hands, broad shoulders. You felt your eyes widen when you first laid eyes on him, and now you'd been throbbing thinking about what those thick fingers could do other than plumbing.

You pull your robe tighter around yourself, hoping to subtly accentuate the outline of your body. "Thank you so much, really, I don't know what I'd have done without the sink."

"Probably used the dishwasher a lot more," he cracked dryly, and your previous words suddenly feel stupid, but it only serves to make him hotter.

"How should I pay you?" You stride over to him. "Cash?"

"You can just pay online." He looks tired, but he has a well-meaning smile on his face.

You look a little incredulous. "Really? I can't—do you accept tips? Seriously, top notch work and super quick. I can't not thank you."

"I'm really not supposed to take tips," he drawls, running a hand through his hair. You find yourself biting your lip; you can't look away from him. You must look like a rabid animal right now, but you can't help it.

He doesn't tear his eyes away from yours.

"I mean, unless..."

Those three words are what find you on your back in your bedroom with your robe thrown open, the sweet and efficient plumber named Sakunosuke standing at the edge as he impales you on his cock. He worked you open with those fingers first, fast and harsh, just how you begged him to, but nothing could've prepared your weeping hole for the stretch of his fat dick—and now he's pounding into you, his hands clutching your waist as you hold your legs open for him to thrust deeper, deeper.

“Oh, shit. Unh—so wet—“

His groans come from his chest, deliciously—he looks a little like he knows he shouldn't be doing this, but your cunt is sucking him in like it was what he was supposed to come here for all along. You spasm and clench around him and he throws his head back, your whole body rippling as his strong hips and heavy balls smack lewdly against your ass with each thrust.

“Mmph—fuck—break that sink of yours more often, alright?” ⊹

⊹ ANGO SAKAGUCHI—I JOINED THE MILE HIGH CLUB (EXTREMELY RISKY)!

The man you met in the airport bar—oh, he’s pretty.

He's even prettier in your mind when the pilot announces phone permissions now that you're in the air, and the first notification your phone receieves is from him.

I have an open seat next to me in first class. Come visit.

You don't hesitate for a moment. You stride forward from the economy section, past the flight attendants who protest at you flimsily to search for his seat number—you see his unmistakably gorgeous hair, his glasses, his sharp side profile as he speaks to an attendant, catches you in his peripheral, and then shoos her away.

There's hardly niceties before one of your legs is slung over his knee and he kisses you with fervor. You don't think too hard about the people around you—none of whom can actually see you but without a doubt will know exactly what's happening in a few minutes—as you grind down onto his thigh, bite his lips, draw soft gasps from him when your knee nudges his bulge.

Before you know it, his cock is free and he slides your underwear to the side so you can sink onto him; he groans shamelessly when your wet heat envelops him completely, causing heads to turn in your direction, but you just brace your knees against the airplane seat and your hands on his shoulders make quick work of milking him of everything he has.

He kisses you, hot, heavy; he smells good, he smells expensive, and you tear his dress shirt open to rake your nails down his chest as he grabs your hips, letting his head fall back and a full-bodied moan into the cramped air of the plane as he does so. You lift up to let him thrust, let lewd smacks resonate throughout first class, and with your chest in his face he rides your shirt up to latch his teeth to one of your nipples; you echo him, moaning unabashedly, running your hands through your hair, gripping him as people look on.

"Fuuuck, yeah, feels so good," he praises from beneath you. "Knew I had to fuck you from the second I saw you." His eyebrows draw up in concentration as he looks down at where your bodies meet and continues fucking up into you hard. "Hah—listen to that cunt cry for me. You like being watched, huh? Gonna let me fuck you 'til the plane smells like sex? Huh?"

You nod, messily, desperately, and he quickens his pace ever faster, pulling you back down into a sloppy kiss.

An attendant awkwardly approaches in the aisle, but the gorgeous man who's destroying your insides just holds up a palm, shoos her away again.

"Fuck—so sexy. Keep takin' this dick." ⊹

⊹ NIKOLAI GOGOL—LUCKY INTRUDER GETS TO FUCK HORNY VICTIM!

You're splayed out on your bed, two fingers stuffed deep in your cunt—and he's just surprised you didn't hear him breaking the lock on your front door.

When you meet his eyes, you're so glazed over with pleasure that you barely miss a beat, your gaze only blowing wide when he peers around your bedroom doorway. His snowy white hair, his sharp features—you can't find the sense to be alarmed at this unfamiliar man, the one holding your laptop and—is that your wallet?

Doesn't matter—they're clattering to the ground, another factor here you can't find it in yourself to care about as his gray eyes are locked onto you fucking yourself open on your sheets. The sheen of sweat that covers your skin, your desperate moans as you grind your clit against your palm, the obscene squelching that comes from your wet cunt—they all serve to propel him over to you, prompt him to dig his already-hard cock out of his pants as you just watch, beg him with your stare to come fill you up. You're so lucky he's here, really—you look like you're struggling to get deep enough with your pathetic little fingers; he guesses it's only fair that he repay you for the material goods he's about to rob you of and pawn off on whatever sucker will buy them for cash, right?

"Right? I'll help you out—" He gives his cock a few pumps as he positions himself between your legs, "—looks like you need it, sweetheart."

You can only bite your lip to supress the moan that leaves you as he enters your cunt and lifts your fingers up and out of you by your wrist to swirl his tongue around them, lick them clean. He's huge—even your third and fourth fingers weren't enough to prepare you properly for the burglar’s dick in your needy pussy, so you let out strained combinations of gasps and screams when he starts to drill into you mercilessly. You can't help the way your ankles link behind his back, the way you reach for him—and he smiles wickedly when your eyes roll back.

"You like having a stranger's cock deep in your guts, huh?" he speaks between deep sighs and grunts. You can only babble your incoherent agreement, your laptop and wallet forgotten, the actions of this man forgotten, everything but how desperately you need to squirt all over him forgotten—you reach down and rub your clit, play with your nipples as your mouth is frozen open as you moan, moan for this man who's just broken into your home. "Uh—yeah, you're gonna like takin' all my cum, too, I bet." ⊹

⊹ SIGMA—MASSEUR HELPS HIS SEXY CLIENT RELIEVE STRESS!

"Oh, yeah—right there," you groan softly as the heel of his palm meets the center of your back. You've been looking forward to this full-body massage the whole week, and this man was not disappointing.

He works his way down your back, twisting knots out as he goes—his lithe fingers feel like heaven against you, overworked from hours at your desk hunched over your computer.

But it's a full-body massage, as mentioned before; when his fingers dig into the plush of your asscheeks, you can't help the groan that leaves you.

"That okay?" he inquires; you think you hear a shake in his voice.

"More than okay," you reply, thinking you could fall asleep as he works you into relaxation. You could close your eyes from how good it feels, or you could peek behind you and see his face burning with blush at your sounds. You do the former, but smirk a little at how sweet it is of him to check in.

He checks in again when his hands are inching your underwear down, and you tell him of course, he's the professional.

He's still the professional when he climbs up on the table behind you and buries his flushed face into your cunt. You arch up and back, crooning, as his hands stay massaging you, spreading you apart, kneading your ass with career expertise and plunging his tongue into you with enthusiasm.

"Oh! Oh—feels good," you breathe, grinding back into his face, onto his nose. He laps at you happily, this masseur you've barely looked upon for a total of twenty seconds, but you can't lie to yourself and say you didn't think he was pretty when he led you back to his room; he hums into you, sending you shivering, twitching. "Please, more."

"Mhm," he mumbles, releasing one of your asscheeks to lay back beneath you and insert a long, thin finger into your pussy; you sigh, you settle onto his face, and his tongue speeds up in this new position in a way that rips a high moan from your lungs.

Not hunched, but arched, the stretch feels heavenly on your back in combination with the way he pumps another finger into you; you graciously sit up, throwing your head back, begging, pleading for more until his tongue settles into a tight back-and-forth rhythm over your clit. "Please, please, please—"

You grind against his nose, your moans become more erratic, and you dig a hand into his hair as your hips move in dizzying circles over his head.

"Cum for me?" he asks, muffled by your pussy; you'll ride him until his face is soaked. ⊹

⊹ FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY—CONFESSING MY SINS ENDS IN HUGE CUMSHOT ALL OVER MY FACE!

“And I’ve been terribly, terribly lustful, Father Fyodor,” you say with regret. “It consumes me. I really never used to be like this."

"Temptation lurks everywhere," the priest sympathizes. You can barely see him through the grate, but his soft, forgiving voice sounds close to you. "The Devil and his army are constantly exploiting our vulnerabilities to try and turn us to sin, but worry not, child of Christ; we're human. I'm here to guide you. Continue."

You shift on the wooden seat in the booth, crossing your hands tighter over your lap. "That's really all. It's been very concerning to me. I think about it... I think about it so much."

"About what?" Father Fyodor prompts, and you bristle even more at being asked to elaborate.

"Sex," it barely comes out as more than a whisper. "I can't help it—it's everywhere. It leaves me feeling so... exhausted and frustrated, and the only thing that helps is... Well..."

But you're met with silence. You know he wants you to go on. You're here to confess, after all.

"...touching myself. I do it at least once a day. It's like a burning within me—nothing helps but—but—cumming all over my fingers." Your voice is laced with shame—the throbbing of your cunt as you talk makes you feel all the more guilty, and you can only imagine how he's shaking his head. "That's all. That's all."

"You'll do penance," he says, comfortingly. "When we bring our sins to the Lord and repent he cleanses us of them."

The grate pops out of the window, and you see the the waist of his alb as he speaks his next words.

"You'll take communion, now—" the cinctures around his waist fall undone beneath his hands, and the alb is hiked up to reveal a leaking cock, pretty and pale and bobbing in the air of the confessional. "—and be saved from the flames of perdition.”

"Yes, Father, please. Anything to be saved." But your mouth waters in a way that you know has little to do with your thirst for salvation.

"Take this; eat. This is my body," he recites the scripture as his length reaches through the window; your hands, eager and already on the threshold, accept him willingly. As you wrap your mouth around him, he groans, and it's like seraphim singing their holy, holy, holy.

"That's it—child of God, follower of Christ; I absolve you of your sins," he gasps as his tip hits the back of your throat which was begging for forgiveness moments ago. His hands reach through the window to stroke either side of your face, and then hold you in place to fuck your throat. "The Lord will forgive you for this." ⊹

[smutoperator]

Dear Priest

Naoi Rei x Male Reader

Tags: balcony sex, choking, creampie, demons, facefucking, footjob, mating press, older man, peeing, priest, possession, (lots of) pussy fingering, rocking the bed, sexorcism, squirting, taboo, titfucking, vibrator

Word count: 3701.

"Dear priest, I have a confession to make. I'm so horny today, I can't even stand straight." These were the first words you heard in the confessional that morning. "Go on," you replied, a little confused. "I think I need an exorcism; my legs are shaking, and I think a demon possessed me," the person said.

You opened the door of the confessional, and a cute Japanese girl appeared. Her situation looked quite bad; she trembled in front of you before unleashing an attack in a demonic voice: "I need sex," she said, in a very altered voice.

Her possession looked quite bad. You felt like you couldn't fix her problem. She needed a special treatment. "I'm going to take you home and expel that demon out of you," you told her. "PLEASE!" she screamed.

You took Rei into your car and drove fast into your home. The demon inside of her made her sweat and squirt all over the seat of your car. You had never seen a case like that before and knew you had a tough demon to fight. 

"Don't touch me," Rei said as you two got to your home. "I'll need to, otherwise the demon won't get out. Open your legs, please," you told her. Rei did so. You touched her wonderful thighs and gave them a slap. "Don't hurt me," she reacted. You didn't listen, touching her panties, which were extremely warm and wet, and finally, her big tits, before placing your thumb in her mouth. You could feel her body heat was truly extreme. "It looks like we'll have to take those clothes off," you told her.

You turned the water in your bathtub on, preparing it as Rei took her robe off. Her tall body, sexy thighs, and huge tits were already a massive turn-on. Rei started taking her bra off, giving you the perfect view of her boobs. Next, she turned around and took her panties off, showing you her perfect ass and sexy, meaty Japanese pussy before getting in the tub.

"God bless you," you said, kissing Rei's beautiful feet a few times. Adding a solution to the tub, you tried to neutralize the demon inside of her. Rei seemed to feel better, as things were looking more stable inside her body. You massaged her shoulders, trying to get her more comfortable. Rei tried to relax, but as you started touching her big tits, from time to time, the devil inside her still made her shake.

"Put your tongue out," you ordered to her, stretching her mouth with your finges as you used your holy spit to counter the demons coming out of it. You took your pants off and pissed on the tub. "What are you doing?" Rei asked. "Chill out; my holy piss added to this solution will make it easier to take that demon out," you told her.

After dumping nearly a half-liter of piss into the tub, you asked Rei to get out and wash herself. Rei agreed, taking the towel and going to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror, and her now naked body was still warm. "You're such a fucking whore," the voice coming out of her mouth said. It was the horny devil. "You need to be disciplined for your naughty thoughts; that priest is going to use you like the slut you are," the demon kept whispering in her ear.

Rei returned to your living room, looking at you with bloody eyes. You touched her body and whispered in her ear. "Get out, devil," you said. Next, you touched and sucked her boobs. Your kisses felt like they were trapping the demon further inside her instead of helping. But maybe that's what you intended. You pulled your cock out and slapped it on Rei's feet, getting hard immediately. "Looks like that demon is helping me," you poked her.

Rei reached and started using her feet to please your cock. Her toes touching your shaft were a huge turn-on for her. Rei played with your cock, having fun as she used her feet to massage it and admired your growing throbbing tip.You just watched, letting the possessed girl enjoy herself as your cock kept growing bigger and bigger.

You took your shirt off, feeling Rei was transferring her body's heat into yours, taking control as you moved her feet around your shaft. You licked her toes, tasting your own cock from it as she had just rubbed them on it, gifting her mouth your cock as you started fucking her face. "Get out, you fucking demon," you said as you finished the initial facefucking, slapping her tits shortly after.

More facefucks followed. The demon was now completely trapped inside Rei's sexy body, as you pushed it back inside with your massive shaft reaching all the way down her throat. "Look at you, such a cute slut," you tell her, slapping her face. 

You choke Rei and push her towards one of the chairs in your living room. She tries to fight back, but you show her who is in control. "Do it as I tell you; slide down," you say. Rei lies her head on the bottom chair and stretches her tall body up to the couch. You spread your legs between the chairs and feed her cock, enjoying filling that cute Japanese face at will and slapping it all over her face.

"Don't close your legs; I'm shutting your mouth so the demon gets expelled through your pussy," you say to her. You cover Rei's mouth with your balls, getting the perfect view of her body as you sit on top of her like a king on his throne. You grab Rei's hands and move them so she can jerk your cock off. "Squeeze it, squeeze it," you order as you use Rei's incessant honrniess to your own pleasure.

Rei twists your cock between her soft hands, licking your balls under your body. You pushed her lower body in your direction. An evil energy seemed to be heating up under your body as the demons orbiting around Rei's body got back inside her. You ducked your body down and started eating her pussy, which looked extremely wild with so many evil spirits inside. A few licks, and Rei was already squirting all over your face.

"That's truly a satanic pussy," you said as you kissed it. "Oh, fuckkk," Rei moaned as you started massaging her cunt. "The harder you squirt, the more the demons will come out," you told her.

Rei made sure to squirt as hard as she could, as the massages in her pussy had her body contorting. Quickly, you stuck multiple fingers inside it. "Ahhhhhhh, please, don't hurt me," Rei screamed as your hands seemed to act like another devil, making her even hornier and sensible. She clinged to your cock, trying to cope with the intensity of your finger as she coated her juices all over your living room's floor.

Rei wanted to take a break, but you were having none of it. "Come here, you won't leave until I finish the job," you told her, grabbing the Japanese cutie but her massive honkers. You kissed her as one of your hands touched her tits and the other one fingered her already extremely wet pussy. "Ohhhh, please, make my pussy cum," she said. "Don't talk, bitch, just follow my orders; when I fuck you, you must keep your mouth shut," you say to her almost as if the demon had also possessed you.

You cover Rei's mouth, muffling her moans as you keep touching her pussy harder and harder, fisting your whole hands inside it and then slapping it. Rei feels like a sick girl with a massive fever, as you take advantage of her weakness to play with her tits, slapping your cock between them before you start titfucking those massive melons, something you wanted to do the moment you saw them for the first time. You treat Rei's big tits like your personal toy, sliding your cock multiple times between them before you give it for her to get fed like a good girl.

"Ohhh fuck, you suck my cock so good, such a perfect, devilish slut," you say to her as Rei bobs her head all over your big dick. "Want to take it deeper? Then come here," you say, putting Rei to your side and diving her head against your shaft all the way down. After all, if there is one thing Rei loves is to dive,.

As soon as Rei gags on your cock, you slap her face with it. Rei quickly gets back on it, giving you a very sloppy and sexy blowjob. "Good girl, or should I say, evil slut?" you tell her. When Rei dives back, you relentlessly fuck her face, slapping her tits every time she gags, as you pound her throat harder and harder each time, but Rei also seems to get stronger, adjusting to your hard thrusts and getting very sloppy as she engulfs your cock balls deep in her mouth.

"That took quite long this time," you praise her after Rei takes a couple minutes to gag following a hard facefucking. "Are you enjoying yourself?" you ask her as Rei gives you a big smile. "Yes, father," she replies. "Tell me what you are," you ask her. "I AM YOUR WHORE," Rei screams.

"Good girl," you kiss Rei and put her on your lap, now massaging her ass and giving her cute butt some spankings that make her moan, wrapping your arms around her as you poke your finger inside her asshole. "Fuckkk," Rei says as you toy with her butthole, eating it out for a couple minutes before getting her back on her feet, but keeping the massage on her fuckholes going while choking her.

Rei can't stop moaning as she struggles to stay on her feet. You grope her tits and stimulate her in every way possible, kissing her neck as you put your fingers back in her cunt and your throbbing cock hits her navel. You had waited long enough, lifting Rei's tall body with ease and pushing her close to you as you slid your big cock in her wet pussy.

Rei laughs as she bounces on your cock, you two having a very intimate moment as she gets carry-fucked. "Oh my God," Rei moans, trying not to fall down as you hold her with all your forces, using her as your perfect and very warm cocksleeve. Without ever pulling out, you push Rei's body towards your couch and start pounding her.

"Oh fuck," Rei says as your move takes her by surprise. And fuck indeed is what you're going to do to her starting now, using Rei's meaty Japanese pussy to your cock pleasure as you take deep thrusts inside it. Rei spreads her legs as you tap her vaginal entance. "That's a good girl," you say, eating her out as she looks hornier than ever. 

More hard fucking ensues as Rei is completely pinned into the couch, her legs up in the air as your cock is bulging hard under her as you stretched her pussy out. It might be a vanilla missionary position, but you know how to fuck and please her. Rei starts wondering if you're really a priest, as you seem to have done it multiple times, fucking her like many guys before you couldn't. 

"AH, AH, AH," Rei moans faster than she raps. You're truly in love with this possessed Japanese slut. A cute girl with long legs, big tits, and a naughty devil inside her seems like a gift from God, or Satan, if you know what I mean. 

Rei prays to God in front of you, but as your cock slaps her pussy and lands deep into her cervix, it feels more and more like her prayers are being answered by the devil. You put a fist in her mouth, making sure her possession lasts for long, shutting her holes down in every possible way. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD," Rei screams as your hands push the demons back in her pussy and you finish trapping them with your spit.

"OH FUCK," Rei screams as you get back in her pussy, her legs now fully spread as she invites your cock to pound her hard and fast, her big tits bounce like crazy at each thrust, with you making sure to reach all the way down the trenches of her devilish cunt. "Your hands are so evil, but they make me feel so good," Rei says as they finger her pussy before you use them to slap her thicc thighs once again and make her scream.

"OHHHHHHHH," Rei screams as you use her to fulfill one of your most perverted fantasies. Fucking a Japanese girl on a mating press as if you were in a real-life hentai. Her pussy gets stretched out to the fullest as you attack it extremely deep. She yells every time you hit her cervix, turning her into a fleshlight. 

You choke Rei and fuck her like an animal, groaning as her pussy gets attacked, and you shove the demons even deeper in her body, making sure they stay there as you fuck her face harder than ever as soon as you pull out of her pussy, then slap your cock in her cute face, repeating the process multiple times until you turn her face into a mess full of spit and her body into a nest of horny demons.

"You seem hornier than ever," you say as you push Rei's body sideways in the couch and give her a rough but very passionate spooning fuck. She smiles, enjoying the way you use her pussy. Your cock is truly making her ascend to heaven, or, depending on the perspective, descend to hell.

You guide Rei into your bed, her getting on all fours as soon as she is on top of it. You fuck her from behind, much to her excitement. "YESSSS, YESSSSSS," she says with a big smile on her face as you get on top of her and make her cheeks clap before fucking her sideways while groping her big tits. "YOU FUCK ME SO GOOD," she moans as you wrap your hands all over her body. It seems like you are the horny demon now, and who can blame you? No one can resist a tall, thicc, cute, and sexy Japanese girl with big tits like her.

Rei gets fucked in every position in your bed as if she were your bride on a honeymoon, looking at you with naughty eyes and never wishing to leave that bedroom. Now you two are like two sinners possessed by the devils of hot, steamy sex, fucking each other in the most baby-making way possible. Rei gets pounded, groped, choked, and fucked nonstop and loves every second of it. It truly makes a difference having sex with a much older and mature man, it turns out.

Rei dives balls deep into your cock before you use that lube from her saliva to bang her tits once again. "I have a job to finish; get it as hard as possible," you suddenly remember, after many minutes's lost into the lust of Rei's hot, young, sexy body. "We have to go outside," you tell her. "That demon is not gonna leave by itself," you continue.

You take Rei to the balcony of your apartment. "What a view. Such a nice place you have, in the most expensive district in Seoul. Guess you didn't take any vows of poverty," she says. "The only vow I took was to use the horny pussies that come at me until I cum," you reply. 

You lift Rei's legs and fuck her at the balcony, her clinging onto every support as you pound her while she looks at the view from such a big height. You pull her hair and clap her cheeks, trying to instill fear in her as you pound her. "FUCK, YES, YES, YES," she moans as you stretch her mouth out. "GET OUT, YOU FUCKING DEMON," you scream as you continue the pounding and slap her ass.

"Don't you fucking move," you order to Rei, bringing a vibrator to put in her pussy while she is pinned to the edge of the balcony. Rei starts to squirt, her right leg sitting on the top of the balcony as you twist the dildo inside her pussy, feeling as if you pushed too many demons out and needed to bring them back. After all, the hornier she gets, the better.

You fuck Rei with the vibrator, leading to her nearly losing her balance. But she loves it, giving you a sexy smile as you double-stuff her, the vibrator in her pussy, your fingers in her asshole. She cums all over the toy; even with one of her legs stuck at top of the balcony, she no longer fears anything. 

You give the vibrator for Rei to taste, using it on her mouth as she licks it as if it were your real cock. "You're so kind, feeding your little whore," she says. "Feeding? No, I am just teasing; this is what I'm gonna feed you," you tell her. "Now bend over," you say, pushing your cock back in her pussy as you hold her body pinned against the balcony. Rei laughs as you grope her bouncy big tits. If only priests could marry, because at this point she truly wants you to make her your wife.

Rei drops back on her knees as you fuck her face hard with her head hitting against the glass on the balcony. Gagging and choking all over that cock and making a sloppy mess, Rei continues to laugh, and you continue to fuck her little Japanese whore face until you finally decide it's time to finally take the demons out.

"Sit on my dick," you tell her as you sit on the chair, your throbbing pole pointing hard and waiting for her meaty pussy. Rei quickly follows, riding it as you grab her ass and grope and suck her tits. She rides it quite well; it seems like her experienced groupmates have taught her really well, especially Wonyoung. Rei moves on your cock with great pace, even better after you slap her ass, getting you closer and closer to unleash your holy cum as she tilts sideways and puts you on the edge with her riding.

You climb out of the chair and fuck Rei against the balcony, enjoying the danger as just a glass wall separates the Japanese slut from falling down. She kisses you, enjoying the pounding as she can only think of her dear priest. "Shhhh, don't let the neighbors hear you," you tell her. But Rei doesn't care; she just wants you to fuck her for the rest of her life. 

"OH MY... GODDDDDDDDD," Rei screams as she looks at the beautiful view from the sunset, her head sticking out of the balcony as she gets pounded, her tits hitting the glass and making her even hornier. The night is approaching, and she ponders if the demons inside her will get even hornier, as she couldn't even sleep the day before with them morphing into crazy horny creatures that took full control of her body once the sun goes down.

Rei laughs as you keep fucking her like a relentless machine. You're a hard man to please, but Rei seems to be doing her best efforts. But nearly 40 minutes, and you haven't shown any signs of slowing down. Rei starts to feel like you might be running out of time to exorcise the sex demons inside of her.

"OH, PLEASE USE MY PUSSY TO MAKE YOUR COCK FEEL GOOD, YESSSSS, AHHHHHHH," Rei moans as you keep the pace, fucking her from behind nonstop and making her big tits bounce hard and grabbing her hair. "YES, YES, YES, DON'T STOP," she screams. And indeed, you don't seem to plan to stop; after all, she is so cute and fuckable.

"I need your fucking cum, please," Rei begs. Little did she know you had already planned everything. As the sun starts to leave the view and the dark creatures of the night start to rise, you fill her pussy up. Rei is relieved. Suddenly, it feels like all the demons in her body are gone. She spreads her legs, letting you tuck the semen on the edges of her pussy all the way down, as you then take a bit of it and use it to draw a cross in her forehead. "May the holy cum take all the demons out of you," you say, as Rei is suddenly no longer horny.

"My job here is done; now get the fuck out," you rudely say to her. Rei wants to thank you, but in the end, sex is just a profession for you. Get pleased, and it's enough. New girls come to you every day after all.

On the next day, Rei tells her inner circle of friends about her experience with you. They are truly baffled, but very curious. "You really fucked a priest?" Stayc J asks her. "Well, yeah," Rei replies. Later, she returns to your church but can't find you, leading her to ask one of the nuns.

"The priest is busy performing a baptism," the nun tells Rei. As she's always been a curious girl, she finds the place where the baptism is taking place. She just didn't know you were baptizing a pretty young girl's forehead full of your cum.

It was Rei's best friend, J.

Rei looks at the agenda next to her, the page with the bookmark being the one from yesterday and today. She sees her name as the last girl from yesterday on the priest's agenda, and then a list of many familiar names scheduled for today with a note next to them.

J: facial Joy: anal Wonyoung: creampie Liz: passionate sex Gaeul: domination Yujin: thighjob/anal

"Oh my God, I think I spread the horny demon into my friends," Rei says.

But did she really?

[dj-of-the-coven]

trigun 1998 episode simulator

[3 minutes of guitar solo]

Vash the Stampede: hi my name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love. all I really want to do is have a sandwich and a morning coffee without getting chased by bandits

some bandit: (gunshot) absolutely not. square up faggot

Vash: rats.

[gunfight]

Vash the Stampede: my name is Vash the stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love.could I please have a sandwich

Meryl from the Bernardelli Insurace Society: how long are you going to sit on your ass doing nothing but playing games with children and doing chores for the elderly and disabled and looking after lonely youths and cooking dinner for the homeless

Vash: I've been here for like 2 days

Milly Thompson: Hi Vash!

Vash: Hi Milly

[exit left pursued by bounty hunters]

Vash the Stampede: (panting, entering a bar) my name is Vash the stampede.... I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Good L*rd what is going on in here

Hostage: mphdsfhapff!!!! mffmpphhf!!!!

Villain of the week: well if it isn't the elusive Vash the Stampede! you see it all started when I was 4 days old and you kicked me like a football and then exploded my parents to death with a laser canon and killed every puppy in a ten ile (translator's note: this is the No Man's Land equivalent of the American Mile) radius

Vash: I don't remember doing that but well I suppose you can shoot me if it'll make you feel better

Side character of the week: Are you insane? Just shoot him instead???

Vash: but my mom told me not to be mean to people

Villain of the week: (still going) And as I am now 47 years old I have finally decided to get my revenge. Say your prayers, Vash the Pisshead

[Wall explodes and reveals a motorcycle with a sexy priest on it]

[sfx: guitar with a hint of electric distortion]

Vash: is that..... Wolfwood?

Meryl who was in the background this whole time: the priest?

Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood: (brings his fingers up to a pair of luscious lips to grab the cigarette from right between them, taking one more slow inhale before crushing the cherry red underneath his heel)(sensually cocks one of his 8 guns) Are you just gonna let this guy talk down to you like that needle noggin?

Vash: I g-

[guitar riff bumper]

[guitar riff bumper]

Vash: -uess not, since you're here to help now... (slow, warm smile) Wolfwood

Nicholas D. ranged Wolfwood: Vash

Milly who was also in the background this whole time: Hi mr priest man! isn't this lovely, I haven't seen you since the last time you spoke with mr Vash yesterday evening when you were helping him buckle all those silly belts on his pants after he had lost them somehow

Vash: On a cactus

Milly: On a cactus! Oh it must've hurt so terribly; how fortunate that Mr Priest man was there to help you

Wolfwood: Hi Milly

[gunfight]

Villain of the week: ohhhhh curses!!! CURSES!!!! I have spent my whole existence getting ready to fight Vash the Stampede but he's just too good at swallowing all my bullets!!!!!!

Vash the Stampede: my tragic dead mother would be sad if I didn't swallow everyone's bullets so I've trained diligently every morning at digesting gunpowder without dying immediately

Wolfwood: [internally: I can't believe it. All this time I've spent walking the path of darkness, reaching to a pure light that I could never grasp, and yet here is a man who's dedicated his life and his body to the pursuit of Peace. I wish he were a woman so I could fuck him romantic style. I've got a whole plan for it and everything. Whiskey, sunset, a bed with no sand in it, 6 hours. This would be fully and completely possible if only he were a woman. Unfortunately he's not, but I can still think about the what-ifs. platonically of course. Maybe if he got some good dick he'd stop being so annoying. And maybe he'd stop making me rethink my morals. I wonder if the seven drunken handies meant anything to him. Platonically]

Wolfwood: Well anyway it looks like my job is done here

Vash: (teary) Will I see you again?

Wolfwood: I don't know. And besides, whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of everything I hate about myself. You know, it hurts.

[exit Nicholas D. Wolfwood pursued by repressed homosexual desires and immense catholic guilt]

Vash the Stanned Peat: (looking out the window like a widow whose husband was killed in action) Nicholas... D... Wolfwood.......

Meryl who was in the background that entire time, yes, the whole time: shut the fuck up already

Vash: when will it be my turn Meryl. When

[roll credits]

[themultifanshipper]

Hello.

I have a question to ask. Are you up for a honeymoon fic Landoscar? With a lot of spicy things, hehe.

<3

When Oscar and Lando had woken up severely hungover that first morning after getting married at the Vegas GP, they knew they had made the right choice.

The only problem was how the hell they were going to go on their honeymoon without arousing suspicion.

Gonna go waterboard myself in holy water now brb

Warnings: Lando makes Oscar cry, but in a sexy way, sunburns, handjob, that’s it that's the plot, under negotiated everything, edging, Oscar being in denial, cum, facial, they're both fucking freaks

They got married on 20/11/2023 at 4:12 AM in the little Vegas Chapel after the Grand Prix. It was perfect (they barely remembered it) and the only people there were Alex and Logan (the best men) and the priest (who they had to track down later and make him sign an NDA).

All in all a brilliant night.

And the proof of consummation was… well, all over them and the sheets when they woke up.

How fucking romantic.

It was now a year on from that and they still hadn't been on their honeymoon.

They were determined though. But being in the public eye made any vacationing together quite hard.

So they decided to wait. Wait long enough that if they were seen, it would be reasonable to assume it was just a mates trip to a private Island.

They were currently on said private Island one morning, limbs tangled on a sunbed, sipping some pretty strong cocktails.

“What do you want to do today?”

“I don't care as long as I'm with you”

They giggled and a slap resounded on the empty beach.

“I hate you”

“That's not what you were saying last night when I had you-”

“Okay okay! I get it!”

Disgusting.

After another hour of lounging around, Lando untangled his limbs from Oscar's and got up to get more drinks.

“You want anoth- holy shit Osc!”

His eyes widened as he turned and took in his husband’s (he'd never get tired of saying that) appearance.

“What?” Oscar sat up, confused.

Oscar’s front was a similar shade of red as a lobster, the contrast in skin between his front and back making him look like a vanilla strawberry ice cream.

“Oscar you-” Lando couldn't contain his laughter “you forgot to put cream on again!”

Lando put his hand on Oscar's thigh and Oscar gasped in pain.

“Shit baby we need to go put something on that, let's go”

Oscar ended up laying on his back while Lando straddled his midsection and rubbed Aloe over his face and chest.

“Ah!” he hissed as a hand went over a patch of particularly red skin “careful where you put your bear paws!”

Lando laughed and squirted some more cream on his hands.

“Sorry baby, but it needs to be done. Besides you love my bear paws, especially when I put them on your-”

“Jesus, do you ever shut up!” Oscar laughed and Lando gasped at his meanness.

“Don't be mean to me when I'm helping you out!”

Oscar’s hands came up to cup Lando's ass over his shorts and squeeze lightly.

“You love it when I'm mean though, don't lie.”

“Oh yeah?” Lando smiled playfully “I can be mean too you know”

Oscar couldn't help the snort that escaped him. “Yeah right, I'll believe that when I see it, you’re just too sweet”

“I am not!” he tried to defend but Oscar just laughed at him “You just haven't seen my bad side, yet”

Oscar cackled and shot a look of disbelief at Lando.

Lando raised his eyebrows in challenge and shuffled backwards onto Oscar's thighs, making sure to rub against his crotch on the way.

“Shut up and let me finish putting the cream on” he scowled as he squirted a load straight onto Oscar's hot skin moodily.

“Aw… are you getting stroppy now because I laughed at you, baby?” Oscar cooed, hands reaching for Lando but he slapped them away.

“Touche me, or say another word, and I stop completely, understand?”

Oscar nodded, eyebrows almost fused with his hairline at Lando's harsh tone.

“And we'll see just how fucking mean I can be” the older man growled.

Well shit.

Lando quickly rubbed cream over Oscar's burns, before sitting back and ordering him to take his shorts off.

“Pardon?” Oscar wasn't used to being ordered around.

“If I have to repeat myself then I'll take them off, and I’m not going to be gentle”

That's a point, Oscar thought. He didn't want to take any chances with the burns so he peeled them off himself, making sure to give his skin a wide birth.

Once settled back into the sheets, Lando grabbed more cream and started rubbing it around Oscar's crotch, which was unnecessary given that the skin there was free of burns thanks to his shorts. But Lando apparently decided to turn this into a massage, because he was digging his thumbs into Oscar’s flesh, hard enough to make him groan at the feeling.

Then he dug his thumbs into Oscar's adductor muscles and the younger man yelped and stared daggers at him.

“What's the matter, baby?” Lando asked mockingly, “Am I going too hard for you?”

His eyes were inviting him to a challenge, one he knew Oscar wouldn't back down from.

Oscar shook his head, remembering Lando's warning from before, and quickly settled back down.

This was a new side to Lando. And it was getting Oscar a bit hot and bothered as his husband just carried on massaging/torturing him. The idea of being at his husband's mercy was turning him on enormously.

His dick twitched against his stomach and Lando chuckled.

“Careful Osc, one could think being submissive is turning you on” his voice was full of mirth but Oscar refused to acknowledge him, and stared at the ceiling while shaking his head.

“No? Must be mistaken then”

He continued along Oscar's groin, massaging the cream in and rubbing him in all the right places.

When Lando cupped his balls and pressed on his perineum at the same time, Oscar let out a strangled gasp.

He was dripping, he could feel it. But he refused to give Lando the satisfaction of asking him to touch him.

“You want me to stop Osc?” Lando had a teasing lilt to his voice. Oscar shook his head.

“If you want me to touch you all you have to do is be a good boy and say ‘please”

But Oscar, by some twisted sense of ego, refused to give in so he didn't answer.

Lando laughed softly and ran a finger up Oscar's cock, making the younger man shudder and his hips buck up of their own volition.

“That looks painful, Osc”

“Then fucking touch it”

Lando’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Not until you say please”

“Please” Oscar huffed out.

Lando tutted. “That wasn't very convincing, Osc.” His fingers ran along the tip and back down over his balls, but Oscar just about managed to stay impassive. He looked right into Lando's eyes.

“If you want me to say please you're going to have to do better than that”

Lando grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh honey, I'm not going to stop until you're begging”

The look in his eyes was predatory and Oscar almost caved then and there.

But on principal, Oscar did not beg.

Cut to about 30 minutes later and Oscar was whimpering into his arm as Lando placed kitten licks on his dripping tip.

“Still not desperate enough to say please?”

Oscar just growled “nope” but it was so strained Lando barely heard it.

“Fine, maybe I need to try a different approach, then”

Oscar looked on as Lando grabbed the cream and squirted some straight onto Oscar’s cock.

Oscar hissed at the cold, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Lando's large hand engulfing his cock and immediately starting a fast, tight, pace.

Oscar was writhing at the sudden intense pleasure after so long being teased, and he was having trouble getting air in his lungs as he hurdled towards an orgasm in record time.

His toes curled and his back arched as he felt the orgasm creep up his spine.

But just like that the feeling was replaced by a very tight hold around the base of his cock, the release his body craved ripped away from him.

“No! Lan-”

“Shhh, baby” Lando cooed “It's okay, I’ve got you”

While Oscar slowly came down from his almost-release, Lando reapplied some cream to make the slide as wet as possible, then proceeded to start stroking Oscar at the same pace as before, this time adding extra pressure.

Oscar was openly whining now, hands gripping the sheets so hard it’s shocking they weren't tearing.

“Now, I'm going to do that over and over again until you’re a good boy for me, okay”

Oscar couldn't contain the whine that came out of his mouth. He was getting close again and his eyes were filling up with tears at the white hot pleasure.

“Please” he let out a broken sob as his thighs started clenching with his impending orgasm.

“Oh you can do better than that, Osc” Lando’s pace didn't falter.

“Fuck- please Lan, I'll do anything. I need to come so bad, please, please. Please don't stop…” he was openly sobbing now, tears running down his cheeks as he took shuddering breaths.

He was so beautiful and pliant like this, Lando was unbelievably hard. He took pity on him and allowed him to come, other hand going to massage his balls for good measure.

“Good boy, Oscar. You can come now, go on.”

Oscar screamed as he came, hot spurts of his come landing over his abs and all the way up to his chin.

The sight of him, covered in his own cum, flush deepening the red of his burns, gasping for air, almost made Lando come on the spot.

He shuffled over to Oscar's head and pushed his shorts down to jerk himself off furiously.

“Open your mouth, tongue out” he ordered, grabbing Oscar’s jaw and aiming for his tongue.

It took him no time at all to come, and most of it landed on Oscar's cheeks and chin. It was absolutely sinful, the way his face was streaked with come, tongue hanging out, eyes unfocused, he looked like a sick man's dream.

Fortunately, Lando was a sick man.

“Shit Osc, I can't believe it took me this long to find out you’re a good little slut when you want to be”

Oscar took a long time to reply, trying to regulate his breathing.

When he finally did, a low growl came from his side of the bed.

“As soon as I get the feeling back in my legs, I'm going to fuck you until the sun sets, and I'm not giving you any breaks, no matter how many times you come”

Lando glanced at the clock.

It was only 1 pm…

Shit.

[mrsarcherofinfamy]

I dunno if you take requests or not but a 18+ with Damian and maybe Jey or Rhea sister and they don’t know until he gets mad and lets it slip

●Damian Priest x Rhea's sister Reader●

________________________________________

*Y/N's POV*

Waking up in our hotel room, I look over seeing Damian naked next to me who is also naked. I roll over leaning my body against his and I start rubbing his chest with my hand making him groan.

"Why do you have to be such a morning person?"

He slightly opens his eyes looking at me. I giggle rubbing his chest and clenching my legs together over his sexy morning voice.

"Because I don't like starting my day in the afternoon like you do."

I get up and he rolls over smacking my ass causing me to turn and look at him.

"Keep it up mister and you gonna get sucked dry again."

"I don't think there is anything left after last night."

I giggle at his comment as I go to the bathroom to get a shower. I shower and come out wrapped in a towel. I grab my bag and start getting changed as Damian gets up changing as well. I changed into a Judgement Day shirt I cut up, black ripped up skinny jeans and some black platform boots.

"Wepa!"

I look over at Damian and his jaw is dropped basically drooling staring at me. I giggle and walk over to him.

"See something you like papi?"

"Oh don't call me that or we are gonna be late getting to Raw."

I smirk looking up at him running my fingers down his arm. He is wearing a Judgement Day tank top, matched with some black skinny jeans and his black boots. He grabs his bag and looks down at me.

"Ready to go before Rhea sees us both coming out of this room?"

I roll my eyes at the name of my sister. I do love my sister with all my heart but I broke her one rule she had with me when I joined Judgement Day with her. Do not date anyone in the group. Especially Damian. Me and Damian had this attraction to each other that felt like a spark when we first met but now is full blown fireworks together. I feel he is the one for me and I'm the one for him. Just Rhea doesn't know about us. I open the door and peep my head out seeing no one in the hallway until a door opens. Out comes Rhea and I close the door looking up at Damian.

"Rhea is out there. I'll go and walk with her to the hotel lobby than you come down in like 10 minutes."

He leans down and kisses me as he goes into the bathroom. I slip out the door closing it behind me, pulling my backpack straps up on my shoulders.

"Y/N!"

Rhea walks fast over to me and puts an arm around my shoulder looking at me with a smirk.

"Who did you have over last night? You guys were kinda loud. Good for you for getting over that stupid little crush you had on Damian and getting with someone else."

I shake my head at her rolling my eyes.

"So who did you get with? Was it Jey Uso? I told you that you should definitely go for him."

We walk down to the lobby as I just shake my head at her and her guesses.

"Cmon. Just tell me."

"Rhea. That is my business. Sorry."

"You are no fun."

She walks over to where Dom and Finn are waiting for us. I walk over behind her pulling out my phone.

Y/N: we are down here. You are good.

_________________________________________

*Damian's POV*

I get her text message, grab my bag and make my way out of our hotel room. As soon as I walk out, Jordan is walking past me. He stops and looks at me.

"Hey Dame."

He looks behind me at the door than looks back at me.

"Isn't that Y/N's room?"

"Jordan. You so much as tell Rhea you saw me coming out of Y/N's room, I will choke you against the wall again until you pass out. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah man. I won't say anything. Headed to the lobby?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

We walk down the hallway together and he keeps looking at me. I stop and look at him.

"If you have questions, ask them now before we meet everyone else."

"Are you banging her? I wanted to but I'm to scared of Rhea."

"Jordan. I am going to choke you. You are pushing my buttons. Me and Y/N have been dating for almost a year now. So no, you can't bang my girlfriend."

"Oh shit. You have kept this a secret from Rhea for almost a year? That takes some balls from the both of you."

"Now let's get going before they come looking for us."

We walk to the lobby together and they are all standing there waiting for us. Jordan let's out a breath shaking his head.

"I don't know how you can keep that a secret man. She is... wow."

"That's it."

I grab Jordan by his shirt and slam him against the wall causing them all to run over to us.

"Say one more thing about my woman like that and I am going to pop that big ass head of yours!"

"Woah woah woah Damian! Your woman?"

Rhea grabs my arm looking at me.

"Yeah. Y/N."

Jordan must have a death wish after saying that. Y/N comes over and puts her hand on my arm. I drop Jordan to the floor and look at Rhea taking a deep breath. Rhea looks at us both with her jaw dropped.

"Y/N. You broke my one rule about being in The Judgement Day. No dating anyone in the group. Especially Damian."

She looks down at the ground when I look at Rhea in shock. Rhea shakes her head and smiles pushing Y/N's face up to look at hers.

"But..... seeing how protective he is of you and how much he loves you. That's all that matters to me. As long as you are loved and safe, I don't mind if you date Damian."

Y/N smiles and jumps into Rhea's arms giving her a big hug. I smile, wrap my arms around both of them giving them a big hug as well. Rhea sets down Y/N as I let them go and she looks down at Jordan laying on the ground.

"What are we gonna do about him?"

I roll my eyes, lean down, pick him up and throw him over my shoulder as everyone collects their bags and heads out to the car to head to the arena.

[blkkizzat]

As Nurse Geto quickly tears through the community, we must know what the rest of the group’s go-to slutty Halloween costume is.

I typed a whole thing on my phone and then it got deleted cause my phone died. I'm an idiot lmfao. But yaaas lets do this round 2!!

JJK Slutty Halloween Costumes

Gojo is too pretty not to be our slutty baby girl. We gonna dress him in something cute like a slutty Little Bo Peep. A cute lil baby blue dress with ribbons and bows to match his eyes. The top will be corseted but come just below the nipples which will be covered with little pasties with blue braided tassels on them. Of course our baby girl also going to be wearing some garters attached to sheer white stockings and some mary janes on his feet. Gojo knows he looks sexy as hell but he will still blush when he realizes the skirt of his dress is so short you can see the precum staining his cute white panties.

Toji is like a wild animal and as such its only fitting that he is Tarzan. The man is going to be in nothing but a furry loin cloth, cheeks out in the breeze. We are going to need some STURDY material though cause Toji hangs LOW and HEAVY. He's gonna break like 3 of them before we finally find one that works for him. He's also going to most definitely use this costume as an excuse to act like a complete fool. He's not going to let you walk anywhere and just slang you over his shoulder, ass up. "Me Toji. You woman. Me eat pretty pussy from back."

Choso is a puppy. The man is TOO eager to be obedient. He wears black fuzzy ears and a collar with a bell so you can see hear him coming and will walk around on all fours following you around everywhere like a puppy too. He's so obedient for you, wearing nothing else but a cockring and tight black demin shorts. He'll stay like that all day too until he can't take it any more and beg for your permission for him to cum. You better not keep him waiting too long though bestie or once you release him you will find out your cute lil puppy actually got that DAWG in him. Then it will be your turn to be puppy when he ties your hands back and relentlessly delivers backshots in doggy position.

Nanami is a Magic Mike/Chippendales dancer. We all know this man looks good in a suit but imagine what he looks like just in a bowtie and form fitting suit pants. OILED UP, glistening and muscles flexing he will have you salivating when when he finally rips off his suit pants to reveal himself in a tiny black thong. You know he is going to give you a show too. But you will have to be a good girl. No touching. Just sit there and let him do all the work. [lol now i want to write a whole drabble about this]

Sukuna you will have to fight to get in a costume but once you tell him he would make the perfect slutty priest he is all for the sacrilege. White priest collar attached to a black sleevless latex top cropped at the waist, showing off his taunt abs. He doesn't miss your stares as your eyes are drawn lower to his tight latex pants sitting low on his hips and showing off his v-line and the imprint of his huge cock. He's definitely going to power trip and let it go to his head. "On your knees slut, it's time to confess and repent."

[illiana-mystery]

I hate that I would debate throwing my morals to the side just to be with him.

[cer-rata]

An incomplete but very angry diatribe about the missed potential of the Star Sapphires

So back in the day Geoff Johns and co decided to open up the Green Lantern mythos and add some more flavor and expand the concept of sci-fi tech powered by elemental emotion to more than just willpower. Which yes, is not an emotion, we ignore it and move on.

Anyway we got some really cool stuff! A rage tyrant fueled by experiencing incredible injustice on a personal and cosmic scale, whose vendetta twisted him into something terrible. An avatar of greed who was never allowed to have anything, not freedom, not family, not safety, who takes and takes and takes to fill a void that can never be satisfied. A priest who lost everything but presses on through his unshakable hope that the future can and will be better. It's a lot of fun stuff!

So in this great creative re-imagining, they had to do something clever and fun with the idea of an all female corps powered by love right? They took the opportunity to move past the purely romantic, sexual idea of love and the obsessed femme fatale archetype, because they had the chance to really explore different types of affection now that there were a bunch of different avatars with different stories to pull from right?

Right?

Nope! The only Sapphires we ever learn about are heartbroken over a cursed romance like Carol, grieving a dead fiance like Miri Riam, forcibly mind controlled to be one like Fatality, or just Miss Bloss who...kind of said she wanted to join up? No clue what her deal is, as far as I'm aware that's never really explained. And then we just never learn about anyone else, and still haven't. The hell is "The Lost Sapphire"? No idea, we'll likely never know.

It's frustrating because not only is this a glaring example of the depth of plotlines offered to women in comics compared to their male counterparts, but also a wild lack of imagination. Love is one of the most complicated emotions we experience. Fear, anger, hope, all pretty easy to quickly define. Love is multifaceted, cultural, incredibly contextual and a factor in so many different kinds of relationship. Just thinking logically it should be much easier to flesh out the motivations of a group pulling from such a nuanced source of power, versus something as clear-cut as rage. But no, the red lanterns got so many varied reasons for their rage, the male ones especially: Bleez being the woman was of course given the SA narrative, which I don't think is inappropriate on its own, that's an incredibly valid reason to be angry, but as the ONLY truly prominent female Red Lantern it's like...c'mon guys. But still, at least she and Atrocitus had different reasons for becoming what they are, and that variation was played for plot and drama.

But there's not a single Star Sapphire that personally champions something other than romantic love. And before you shoot me, it is explicitly mentioned that they DO protect other forms of love, so there's no reason for them to all be sexy and obsessed with kissing people. There are no Sapphires that are driven by:

The love of their children and families, even in a tragic sense, like Atrocitus and Saint Walker and Larfleez are...

Their love of their people, or their culture. It would have been interesting if Fatality was inducted BECAUSE of her pain at losing her world, but no, they just...replaced her anger with lovey vibes and called it a day.

Their love for nature. Not everyone is social, but social love isn't the only way to strongly experience the emotion.

Their love for themselves. Where is the fun narcissistic ass who loves their own self image to the point of getting powers? It would have been a fun twist and a cool way to get another villainous Sapphire if you wanted to.

Their platonic love of ANYTHING really. Are ace/aro people just...not capable of love then? It doesn't mean anything to be willing to drive cross country to help a friend move just because they needed it and you care? No? You need to be fucking for it to count?

It's like...fascinating if you really think about it. In this vast fantasy universe full of alien races with wildly different perceptions and life cycles, and where the other corps have plenty of non-human, truly alien looking members, that the women's only love corps is full of only hot hot scantily clad baddies. Most love that people experience in their lives isn't even romantic! You will have far more experiences with friends and family members and even loving strangers than you will have with romantic partners.

Like the reason is clearly sexism, duh, but we know sexism is bad, that's obvious, what I really want to make clear is how much this blatant, unexplored sexism just completely desecrated the potential of the worldbuilding here.

From another angle even: Let's say this this WAS the sex and romance all the time corps. Let's say that you wanted to keep it all women. I hate the idea that women are capable of love in a way that men aren't, that's such a bad take and just regressive and unhelpful, but let's just play ball for a moment. They're not even hot? Their designs are such ridiculously narrow versions of feminine attractiveness that they're not even successful at really being mass appeal sexy. I haven't even reached the point of complaining about the fatphobia and criminal lack of different body types yet, I'm still just saying that from the standpoint of fantasy sexy it's not even good at being stereotypical offensive fantasy sexy. It's just boring! They're all so visually boring! You can be scantily clad and still have an interesting and coherent character design! But that is not what they gave these women! They actually redesigned the classic Star Sapphire costume and made it MORE sexist and boring:

Yeah it was cheesy but it was also cute and fun? The design is playful classic sci-fi girl and this is when she was still a dangerous unhinged villain. Its fun to look at and feels tonally coherent next to Green Lantern.

And then they just...

No actually, I will not explain this one, you have eyes.

And yeah they fixed her costume finally,

But! She's still stuck as Hal Jordan's romantic punching bag, and has not gotten to have any new adventures on her own.

So.

What I'm saying is it's a flop all around. 2/10, and only because despite everything Fatality STILL managed to serve. I actually think that all of the corps have been poorly used since blackest night, even the greens actually, but they never even gave the Sapphires a chance. They last showed up in...a WW annual I think? During the whole dark gods event, they needed Diana to help them fight the evil god of love, and there was a guy in the corp finally, and they talked about sisterhood and then we haven't heard a peep from them since. I think Carol might be due to get her ring back in the GL ongoing but she's not really been treated well so far, so I'm not hopeful for anything fresh and well reasoned.

So my lovely ladies (and that one unnamed guy), until they let you get it together it may be time to

[tomssexdoll]

Could you please do tomorrow headcannons like the ones you’ve done for bill recently. 🙏🙏🙏. Love your writing btw- also if you make it can you tag me..

yesss ofc love and ty for the support <3

Relationship headcannons Tom

NSFW MENTIONED!!!!!!!!

2008

You guys first started dating

Brags about you to anyone who will listen

Once you got to know him you realized how much of a softie he really is

He was very confident at first

Spoils you

Quickies behind stage at tours

You love playing with his dreads

Tugging on his braids during sex

2009

Suprised you with the braids

you love them ofc

Loves going on walks with you

Very affectionate

Super protective

Gets jealous easily

Slightly possessive

Hates when you wear skimpy clothing out

Always accompanies you at parties

Will hurt any guy if he has to

Gets you flowers a lot

2010

Takes you on the humanoid tour

Shouts you out in the crowd and brings you up to the stage

Stares at you while he's playing and flirts with you too

Quickie backstage ofc

Loves seeing you in his shirts when you go to sleep

Always gives you his jackets, hoodies, shirts

SUPER flirty

Teases you in public

Leaves hickeys everywhere for everyone to see

Smacks your ass playfully in public

2011

Cuddles are the best

Loves to go to the club with you

Still very protective

Jealousy issues calming down a little

Shows you off in interviews

Talks about you non stop in podcasts

Brings you to practice

Very loving and caring

Will drop everything just to make sure you're ok

Super close, very healthy relationship

2012-2014

Proposes to you finally

The proposal is beautiful, he takes you out to a fancy dinner and he gets the best spot and proposes to you under the stars

Showers you with gifts all the time

Gets you lunch when you're working hard

Loves to give you massages when you're stressed

Learnt how to cook for you

Talking about wanting a family

Cuddes and movies every second night

Partying like there's no tomorrow

Falling pregnant in late 2014 so the baby came after the wedding

2015

The wedding finally happens

The ceremony is beautiful

He smiles like an idiot when he sees you walking down the aisle, crying softly

Does the garter wedding tradition but tries to take your panties off instead

Dances with you sweetly at first

When you get drunk he grinds on you, dancing so sexually

He smashes his lips into yours when the priest declares you husband and wife

also picks you up and spins you around when after the kiss

Can't stop talking about how sexy you were at the wedding

Makes a wedding night sex tape with you LOL

Buying a house together

Baby finally arrives

2016-2019

A lot of renovating

More talks about having a big family

Tom upgrades the nursery

Best father EVER

Spoils you and the kids

Forces Bill to babysit for a couple nights so you guys can spend time together

Sex is amazing and always has been

Still very protective of you and especially your daughter

Fall pregnant again

2020

Find out you're having twins

tom jumps with joy after he finds out

Tells Bill and they are super happy

Tom buys you fresh flowers every week

When he takes the dogs for walks he'll always pick flowers for you

Loves taking your daughter to the park with you even though you're super pregant

Loves you unconditionally

Takes care of you so much during pregnancy and birth

Holds your hand at the hosptal

Sobs and holds the twins in his arms

Loves you for you

Reminds you everyday how beautiful and precious you are

Spoils the kids with junk food when you aren't there

2021-2024

Thinking of another kid

Very happy relationship and super close

Sex is amazing ofc

Buying you flowers every week ofc

Partying here and there

Loves home dates and spending time with you

Some nights he'll fall asleep on your chest

You love playing with his long hair and beard

Beard tickles you when he kisses you

He's careful not to give you carpet burn when eating you out

Loves washing your hair and making you feel relaxed

Runs baths for you to relax after a hard day

He helps with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

Best present giver

Super affectionate

tags: @effy-2000 @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @20doozers @charliesgoodboy @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdoll @syylss @ge-billsgf @ballhair @miyukafujii

[sintiva]

lust so pure..// priest!eren x blackfem!reader

summary: the neighborhood priest also happens to be the neighborhood pervert, but solely for you

contents & warnings: chubby reader, eren is a fucking pervert, kinda stalker themes (?)), suggestive content, male masturbation, mentions of corruption

notes: this is the prologue (for better lack of terms) to a full fic

priest!eren who creeps on you while you're gardening early in the morning. 5:30 am — sharp. your tits are out your ass is out and he can see your pussy print from your shorts. you would think he’s a fucking vampire the way he keeps his house dark. the yellow light from his bathroom floods his room, and a butterscotch candle that you gifted him, sits atop his dresser. the fire from the candle flickers against the muscles of his back, and it makes him hot. but it’s not the only thing that’s got him steaming.as he fiddles with his vest in his hands, his back is bare and he’s focusing on you gardening; pulling weeds, and digging the soil as you transfer pansies and lilies to the plot. way too focused, like he’s giving service.

priest!eren who sits on his recliner right by his window so he doesn’t have to stand up to creep on you. it’s tiring trying to get a view of you from every angle. he focuses his eyes when you stand up and bend over to pat the rest of the soil around the plants. your ass jiggles, the fat of it spills from the bottom of those nonexistent shorts you have on. “baby phat” spreads across the back of the shorts, and the bedazzled letters sparkle from the rising sun. if he squints real hard he can see the sweat leading down your back. he can see simple sweat lines going down the curve of your pussy, and down to the wet patch of your crotch. he mumbles a quiet “fuck” cause he’s staring so hard, and his dicks talking to him.

priest!eren who sits on his recliner right by his window so he doesn’t have to stand up to creep on you. it’s tiring trying to get a view of you from every angle. he focuses his eyes when you stand up and bend over to pat the rest of the soil around the plants. your ass jiggles, the fat of it spills from the bottom of those nonexistent shorts you have on. “baby phat” spreads across the back of the shorts, and the bedazzled letters sparkle from the rising sun. if he squints real hard he can see the sweat leading down your back. he can see simple sweat lines going down the curve of your pussy, and down to the wet patch of your crotch. he mumbles a quiet “fuck” cause he’s staring so hard, and his dicks talking to him.

priest!eren who smiles to himself when you get on your knees and bend down once more to pull the last few remaining weeds. what a crooked fuck. you look really nice in that position. at this point of his creepinp, he’s hard as fuck. it’s not right for him to be preying on his neighbor like this, but he can’t resist. he wants to fuck you with those shorts, pull the fabric all the way up till the thin liner disappears between your fat pussy lips. you’ve been fucking with him. you either know it or you don’t. you’re either aware of how you make him sweat under his clothes. or you just really don’t think you’re able to arouse him like that. he’s a priest for god’s sake you didn’t think he’d be into the silly flings and quick fucks. 

priest!eren who sighs heavily. he can’t think of anything that will make his boner go away. fucking nothing. he palms himself. regretting his actions — not really though. no other women got his dick dripping and staining his underwear. he’s cursing himself in his room. upset that you make his dick so wet, if anything he despises you for it. why were you so promiscuous? why do you make sinning feel so good and why does he want to corrupt a sweet little minx like you so fucking bad. you make everything look so fucking sexy. the way you walk, the way you talk. how you flaunt yourself. how you’re so sweet to the priest across the street, cause you think he’s the finest man you ever laid eyes on. the feelings are somewhat mutual. he thinks you’d have the sweetest pussy to abuse. l

priest!eren who pulls his pants down and curses even more. his dick blushes, a deep red. it’s big and slaps his stomach when he pulls his underwear down. a loud ‘thwack’. his dick is hot to the touch and the pre cum that trickles out of his tip is hotter. he’s cursing you and your name. bucking his hips up into his hand, stroking his dick how he thinks you would when you wrap your hand around him. he cums real hard when he’s done. such a young man like himself has so much pent-up stress and sexual frustrations that he cums so much. a creamy release so unwanted. now he has to clean himself, and his hand that’s covered in so much cum. he’s fuming as he gets dressed. a fine young man with so much pent-up frustrations. he just wants you to help him, and become his. 

priest!eren who rolls out of his garage in his matte black mercedes cla coupe. he rolls down the window as he pulls out in front of your house, and clears his throat. “you coming to church today?” his words make you jump and everything on your body jiggles when you turn around. “good morning to you too.” you roll your eyes and pull your gloves off as you approach his car. he’s in his usual clothing. black slacks a black turtle neck. a cross necklace sits around his neck, he has rings on almost all his fingers and his tattoo creeps up from his neck and curls back behind his ear. he’s more of the progressive type. 

“you know i’m not into church.” you say for the umpteenth time. he always asks; he doesn’t leave his residence without doing so. he thinks you need it. you need to learn how to be more modest,  cover yourself up so that horny eyes like his own can’t get a look at what will soon be his. it takes a creep to know that there are more unwelcoming eyes that fall upon you. “maybe you should think about it.” he looks you up and down one more time. cursing — again. 

your thighs swallow up those fucking shorts. you ass looks so fucking good. he can see it from the front. he’s thinking about it. thinking about many things while he thinks about those hips getting abused in a vice grip. taking you from the back, “you should really think about it.” his eyes are low. fucking animalistic. you don’t even know what this priest thinks of you. you don’t even know that he dirtied his favorite pair of black slacks because of you. 

his eyes almost pop out of his head as your tits spill over the top of his window. “they’re up here.” you point to your eyes and lower your head so he can see you. big beads of sweat roll down your forehead and every crevice of your body he can see. “if you wake up to garden, you can come to church.” 

“it sounds like you're in my business.” you suck your teeth and place your hands on your waist. “maybe you need me to be.” he smirks and rolls his window back up as he waves his hand. “you should think about coming one day, they’d love you.” they as in him and his relentless fucking dick. he’s thinking with his dick. driving off the exhaust low and pleasing to the ear. “what a fucking priest.” you sigh and you heart flutters. you like him. his attitude. makes you swoon, real hard. 

[n33dlew0rk]

Bad Boy Boogie

I’m thinking about how in The Dirt they depicted Vince Neil as someone who was not into the alternative scene as much as Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee were.

And I'm thinking about Steve being recruited in some glam rock band in a similar way after he’s been scraping the barrel for a few years because his poor excuse of a father kicked him out and cut him off for being queer:

He’s working dive bars, strip clubs, lame pool parties, whatever gets some food, smokes and the occasional joint on his table. He liked to sing when he was younger, but it was never something he thought would be one of his main income sources in his twenties. So it's like you know whatever, as long as it keeps him alive and kicking.

He’s not very social these days, too busy surviving the late 80’s. But someone from high school still remembers him from his King Steve days, knows what happened because of the typical small town talks + sees him kind of around the scene sometimes, between Indianapolis and Chicago, hears him sing lame slow ballads and chart stuff.

So after some laughs (he does not take the thing seriously at first) and some uncertainty (money is not guaranteed ofc), he gets recruited and slowly starts to fully embody this glam rock sexy kind of androgynous and ambiguously sensual charismatic frontman role.

They do good. Like really good. Papers talk about them, mothers pray clutching their pearls, kids go nuts. Their gigs are sweat, fishnets, smeared make-up, tall boots, short skirts, tight pants.

---

Now cut to Eddie and Corroded Coffin, still a small town band, still dreaming big. But someone in their extended friend circle, probably someone a little bit less socially awkward than them, knows someone in Indi, who knows someone in Chicago, who finally hooks them up to open for a bigger band on a small state tour. Only it's Steve's band.

Eddie is fuming.

Not only did a fucking jock got to get bigger in music faster than him, he also did it in a genre that was not popular among metalheads. Even Metallica had feuds with Mötley Crüe, after all. You know that thin veil of elitism that makes metalheads a real pain in the ass despite how intensely GAY most of Judas Priest’s lyrics are.

By the way, back to Eddie.

Fuming.

He doesn't wanna go. Pleads the guys to please have some integrity, for fuck’s sake. Tries to convince the owners of The Hideout to make them play more nights.

But when money is thrown into it, like actual money, money like a month’s worth of day jobs, he can’t really say no to the proposition.

So they go.

Eddie refuses to even listen to the other band's demos, determined to spend the entire tour playing his own set and then getting blackout drunk in the back of the van for the remainder of the night.

He manages to do just that for the first two nights, until he gets cut off from the free alcohol because the bar owner is a sad greedy bastard.

And since spending a whole evening sober inside a van is not nearly as fun as he thought, he goes back inside, searching for his bandmates, barely managing to move through waves of sweaty half naked people and groupies.

A disappointed growl leaves his throat as the lights go down while he’s still in the middle of the pit. Scorned and absolutely annoyed to the core, he turns towards the stage, fully prepared to boo his way to the side of the room.

So you can imagine how totally and utterly shocked he is when Steve fucking Harrington appears: red cowboy boots under the tightest leather pants ever created by humankind, held together by flimsy flimsy strings on the sides. A brutally ripped white tank top (more like a sad reminder of it) under a goddamned leather harness with spikes and chains, all of this on top of his hairy, toned (is that glitter??) chest. Black make-up beautifully ruined under his rich brown eyes, a shadow of red lipstick on his lips. A black bandana tied around his forehead like a crown over his messy mullet (still rich in volume, that’s a magic trick the king still brings along for the journey).

Eddie feels like a lost greek sailor hearing the sirens for the first time.

Mouth: dry.

Hands: sweaty.

Jeans: dangerously tight.

The place feels like a fucking furnace and he cannot, for the love of all things unholy, tear his gaze away from Steve’s body, his face, the way he cups the microphone, how he grinds on the mic stand, how he falls onto his knees during guitar solos panting in front of his guitarist.

Lastly, I'm thinking about when the show is over and a phantom trace of Eddie’s rationality tries to persuade him that Steve will turn back into his jock self, preppy clothes and all, like a rock'n'roll Cinderella; but instead Steve smiles big to the crowd, tears the bandana from his head, wipes away some of the sweat from his neck and then stuffs the very same black bandana right into his right back pocket.

Gareth and Jeff literally have to drag poor Eddie out of the venue because his knees are so wobbly they stopped working indefinitely.

[bg3scenarios]

We at bg3scenarios are here to announce that going forward on this blog, there will be no more horny posts.

No suggestive jokes. No sex jokes. No mentions of monsterfucking or villainfucking. No mentions of how freaky Gale is in bed. No mentions of the sexy BDSM priest whipping twinks. No mentions of Gortash’s thick, juicy, round, smackable fat ass.

So from the bottom of our hearts, we would love to wish you a Happy April Fool’s Day from bg3scenarios.

Of course we are joking! Carry on, you perverts! (Boop us if you’re nasty🐱🐾)

[everbluekisses]

Why this Olivine is the most perfect Olivine of all times an essay by me

First. he's the hottest and most promiscuous thing in the whole universe and just a look at him makes me want to turn inside out and throw myself into a jar of salt because he makes my brain produce so much chemistry i might disintegrate into billions of particles and i wish i was joking about it but when he released it i felt the world spin around BAD [maybe because i stayed up all night waiting for him to drop] [and drank way more coffee than i should have] [BUT WHO CARES]

The long and well behaved skirt is the most Olivine thing ever, just as a totally slutty dress would also be the most Olivine thing ever [love him] but this time i really think that erolabs cooked very well VERY GOOD VERY TASTY because instead of the easy route of making the most naughty and slutty maid of all times [HELL YEAH 100% OLIVINE] they pulled the well-behaved olivine that will mask all his most scandalous fantasies just like THAT creating the most violent clash of the sexy galaxies that it reshaped the entire universe of naughtiness. i can only think about how that long skirt of his is a million times hotter than a sexy naughty dress [which is hot as hell by itself pls Olivine slaps in every outfit] but maybe it's my ace ass getting more from other silly thigs than the naked body itself like OKAY I'M GETTING OUT THE TOPIC i'm so weak to his glasses i needa calm down okay breathe 1 2 3 breathe

his glasses that make him look like a good and understanding teacher, as naive and innocent as he can seem oh my god my head is spinning again his glasses and hair well combed and parted erolabs cooked him so well so well i'm going insane because it's the first time ever that my expectations have been exceeded like this with erolabs oh my well-behaved priest 'm going to shallow you whole [REDACTED] i'm not fucking joking when i say i'm going to fucking shallow him whole and slowly digest him in my stomach until he becomes a part of me. also. his bunny ears make me want to end myself because its just the cherry of the goddamn cake. i feel so hungry in a very much wild way just looking at him in that long maid dress i think i'm going to actually die the day his scenes come out haha eiden have fun eiden haha lucky bitch haha

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

Finished Felvidek and had a grand time!

Thought I'd do a lil list of things/moments/details I loved off the top of my head:

gave cursed coffee bean to a chicken and it mutated. Did it for science

game's got some twin peaks vibes, some monty python, a tad of hylics, along it a bunch of other ingredients, but it feels very much its own thing with its own identity

pear man and his daughters deserve the world, wish we hung out more

there's a fight with an invisible enemy, all your attacks miss because your guys can't see shit and I was laughing just imagining Pavol and Matej swinging their swords at nothing hoping to slay the forest fiend. Very Don Quixote, I love it.

the PS1 style cutscenes are sooooo beautiful I love them to pieces, they drip with style and charm. I knew I needed to give this game a go the moment I watched the trailer and was greeted by the cinematics. God I love them so much. And not just the syle but the directing itself, the way shots are framed, god...

I love the character portraits for everyone. There's so much detail and everyone feels unique/like an actual person with distinct features. From the Priest's very punchable face, to Pavol's grin to Josef's sexy ass... From main characters to NPCs to enemy sprites, I love everyone's design and colour coding (don't know if it was intentional but the purple for the cultists was neat, seemed to subtly imply early on that they were being funded by rich folk, since pruple is associated with nobility, power and wealth)

speaking of character design, shout-out to this lil guy, look at him please

Numnut the drunkard my beloved, I recruited him and less than a minute later he fell on flat ground into a nearby river (and drowns???). I reloaded a previous save to see if I could have him in my party a lil longer. I took a different path, got into a fight. "yay I get to see him in action!"- I thought. I used his one special move, called: 'good idea', and Numnut proceeds to punch his own face, dealing 90 damage (not even in the endgame did I deal such high numbers!). THE Character of all time, he drowned again after that and I'll never forget him.

BALLOON IN THE MIDDLE AGES! (possible Andrei Rublev reference? I can dream...)

just, the way things are worded:

cutting people's ears after killing them as spoils (and giving the ears to a maiden, as you do)

there's a quest where you have to cut a man's tattooed buttock to give to another guy, and it's all for nothing, you ruined a man's ass for nothing. I love it. The dialogue during this whole section had me dying.

I love that there's just this guy who lives in the castle's well. And our boy Pavol thinks it's a great idea to throw a bomb in there to make him come out.

this:

there's these lil inisghtful and mournfoul comments on the dead bodies you leave behind. Like, expressing regret at all the senseless violence and death or how cheap life is here. And I'm not sure if it's Pavol or Matej making them. It makes more sense for it to be Matej but I kinda like the idea of it being Pavol's comments, these small moments of introspection and realization in the midst of a drunken adventure. You've been engaging in all the violence while pissed drunk but then after you kill your opponents and look at their corpses... and it's like this sobering moment, before you're back at it with all the merry-making (I also like that a lot of these bodies don't disappear and just remain on screen, and you can see the carnage your guys leave behind in their quest)

the whole adventure felt to me like, this series of odd little events in a knight's life before it's passed down, told by and retold by different people, and after many generations it's been touched up and made more coherent and noble than the clusterfuck it actually was. Before it became a narrative I guess is what I mean

it can get a bit wordy and hard to follow but I really like the old timey way the dialogue is written and its dry sense of humour

there's these little subversions of gaming tropes that I found really fun too! Like as soon as Pavol's wife and your falling out with her is introduced you may expect a reconciliation between the two, or a moment where you have to save her and prove your worth and love to her to win her heart. As you would expect from a story with a knight and a damsel. But no she hates his guts lmao tries to murder him too! (tho I do think Pavol took her in that balloon ride at the end). There's also the fact that I am not allowed to play minigames! Josef wants to play tabletop games but your character always replies no. No minigames for you son! And like, this feels especially catered to me as someone who, more often than not, will dread whenever a game will introduce some sort of card game or the like. I was so happy that wasn't forced on me for once! Couldn't believe it. Kinda felt bad for Josef tho, I'm sorry Pavol doesn't wanna play Pexeso wth you.

the battle animations! I'm particularly fond of the eating porridge one, or the chugging down a bucket of sour cream, and the petard

the little *slaps face* animation

Pavol and Matej as a duo and the whole tavern scene with the two exchanging clothes

the lil moments of humanity where Pavol talks about his broken life and sense of self

the rare moments when Pavol stops grinning

it goes without saying but the art is absolutely gorgeous. Its nostalgic monochrome melancholy speaks to me on a deep spiritual level. Inject it directly into my bone marrow please. Shout-out also to the ost, it fucks and has tons of bangers. The Hrad track, the one that plays on Josef's castle... god... love at first listen, and have been listening nonstop for the last few days now while going on walks.