#sexy fruit debate

[aturinfortheworse]

Pomegranate.

Anyway, every time you post something with any kind of commentary I wish to study you in a glass box with some air holes. And then be friends. Are we mutuals? Pretty sure we are. Congrats on being literally my only organic mutual. I understand all the memes now. You still gotta read that comic. I started a cannibalism religious romance trauma drama fic as a fandom-warming gift just for you.

this ask made me realize how rarely i post stuff with commentary these days. i mean its a lot more than some people, i know, but still there was a time gone by where any time i had sex i posted about it on here. (possibly i still do?? i think i at least alluded to the last two times i got laid, but they were both noteworthy so.)

it also reminded me that i found a bone in the median strip this morning (while walking the cat, he didn't seem interested in it) and i resisted the urge to bring it inside but now i really wanna go back and get it. is that rude? is it illegal? is it unethical? is it too much effort?

but the thing is i can't work out what animal it could have come from. (now i'm looking at the photos and it doesnt even totally look like a bone but i was so sure. i should at least wait until morning to go get it tho, right?)

its about twenty cm long, three? cm wide at the thinnest, straight, and it most closely resembles a humerus insofar as it resembles anything I recognize. My issue is that there are very few large mammals around here that aren't either humans or pets. It's too big to be from a cat. Is this someone's pet dog? Is it a fox? I've never seen a fox here but apparently they're around. How big is a fox? It's gotta be a dog bone, right? It has some marks that could be teeth marks - was it a meat bone? from like, a lamb, i guess?

This was a very nice message. There's nothing I like better than when people tell me they want to study me in a lab - and I am being mostly sincere when I say that.

I believe I have the comic saved somewhere but do send it to me again. This is the comic that your one bookmark is a fanfic of, yes? I continue to feel that one is the insanest possible number of bookmarks, but I mean it as a compliment.

Pomegranate is a good answer.

[princessoflalaland]

I kid u fucking not, im genuinely tweaking thinking about the jjk men, specifically nanami and toji. the complete polarity between them drives me insane.

nanami would treat you like a complete and utter queen. craving something only available across town? he's already in the car the seconds the words leave your pretty little lips. period causing your day to be less than perfect? heat pads, comfort foods, blankets, candy- anything you need will be at your disposable. he's a good listener, affectionate, doting, understanding, mature, he is a MAN.

and do not let him know about your sexual needs. mans will (responsibly) drop whatever he's doing to come satisfy you. put that pussy on his nose, let his tongue trace the insides of your tight, gummy walls, he loves it more than you do. let him drill into that pussy until you're both on the brink of passing out with you mewling his name, how good he is, how deep he gets, how much you love his dick, he loves it wayyyy more than you do. ride him to your heart's content, sloppy licking and kissing into his mouth because you know why: he loves it more than you do. he'll make love to you every night if you'll let him, and I have an inclination you would. I mean, who'd wanna miss out on the sweet vulgarities he'd purr in your ear while he rearranges your guts?

"my pretty girl, takin' me so well." he'd huff into your ear. your legs splayed out near your torso as he has you in your all time favorite position: the wonderful mating press. "ah, God," nanami hissed, face pinching with overwhelming pleasure. "you're squeezing me, baby..gonna make me cum.." he'd lift his head where it was tucked away in the crook of your sweat-slicked neck, staring into your very soul with a dangerous mix of adoration and hunger. "want me to cum inside you, love? pump this pretty pussy f-full of my cum?"

You became his world and whatever his woman wants, she gets, no questions, no debate.

Toji, ohhhhhhhhhh TOji toji toji. He's my guilty pleausre, I swear to you. I've committed my heart, soul, and body, to nanami, I've claimed him as my jjk husband, BUT toji truly is my forbidden fruit. I have to fight actual demons not to imagine him pounding into me from behind, the side, upside down, up into me- in any way shape and form simply because feel like im being disloyal to Nanami :(

(mind you these are fictional men created by a Japanese sadist name Akutami Gege, I need to be committed to a mental institution at this rate)

AHEM, anyway, Toji is a blunt lover, and here's what I mean: (in my head) he may not be the best at communication or very good with his feelings, but he'll do his damndest to be upfront with you. he'll try his best to do what he thinks is best for y'alls relationship and with your help, he gets better at voicing how he feels. idgaf what you gotta say, he. will. spoil. you. yes, keeping money isn't something he's always been good at, BUT that all changed when he got with you. Mans made an entire savings account just for you. his money is your money basically; whatever you want is yours, no questions asked. he'd be your ride or die. no one gets to you without getting through that sexy, delicious, mountain of a man. he'll damned if he lets anyone even think about disrespecting his lady. he'll gladly rearrange their face, maybe even end their bloodline, if they're dumb enough to try. toji is...idk the hood nigga of jjk if u ask me, and if you think really hard, that's headcanon enough.

its one of the undisputed facts of the world that toji has that dawg in him. he will, happily, gladly, proudly, rearrange your insides, then give them a fresh paint job with his cum. he'd talk that nasty shit in your ear too while he's pounding you from behind.

"ohh, this pussy so good f'me, ma. so wet, so fuckin' tight....g'nna fuck 'er nice 'n good, maybe leave a baby in 'er too.” he'd growl, his tip bullying your g-spot at a punishing pace. "you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" he'd pull you back by your hair, keeping your back flush against his broad chest while his rough hand traveled down your navel so his thick fingers could torture your clit. "want a baby fucked into yer tight, nasty pussy. ohh im gonna fill you up baby. fill this perfect, fuckin' pussy..."

the forbidden fruit is toji fushiguro, you cannot change my mind.

this was mindless nanami and toji drabble because I need them, istg im tweaking bc maybe they aren’t so different…

[ssprayberrythings]

heyyy to help u w ur writers block:

spending a lazy day w danny, like either lazing around on the couch in the sun or maybs he’s sticking to his workout regimen and trying to convince us to join? just cutesy domestic shh xx

thank you anon for this, i hope you're still around to read the final product! i kept it short and sweet, wanting to get the simplicity of it all but im proud of it!

MOMENTS LIKE THESE | DR3

daniel ricciardo x girlfriend!reader

warnings: none at all just domestic moments with danny 🫶

masterlist | taglist

It was vacation time for the drivers and that meant you finally got to spend time with your boyfriend, except for when he went to the gym, which was one thing you didn’t do with him. 

“Where are you going?” You asked your boyfriend as he walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

You had woken up a few moments earlier and heard the shower running. You debated joining him but the water was being turned off before you could make any further movement.

“To the gym” he smiled as he walked into the walk in closet you shared to get dressed 

“Can’t you skip the gym for one day” you asked already knowing the answer to the question but decided to ask any way 

“No, but I figured I’d go early enough so when I get back we still have the whole day to do whatever you want” Danny told you as he reentered the bedroom, to your disappointment fully clothed. 

“Or you could join me” he added as he made his way towards the bed sitting on your side

“No your workout is so intense I’d probably die” you exaggerated as you moved closer to him “Plus you’re so sexy, I’d just be distracted the entire time” you smirked at him 

He let out a laugh while putting one of his hands on the side of your face “I wouldn’t mind an audience” he told you as he leant in to kiss you. 

You smiled into the kiss, happily kissing him back before he pulled away “I have to go or else Michael won’t let me leave to make up for being late” he told you getting up from the bed, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and heading out of the room to leave 

“I’ll be back before you know it. I love you” he gave you his famous Daniel Ricciardo smile before he was gone out of the room. 

You just decided to go back to sleep, figuring it’d be the fastest way to kill time before he was back home and your day would start then. 

-

You woke up a few hours after and it didn’t take long for you to realize Daniel still wasn’t home judging by the empty space next to you or at least that’s what you thought. 

When you eventually found the energy to get up and leave your bedroom, you were met with your boyfriend making breakfast. You smiled at the site and admired how at peace he looked. 

“Morning sleeping beauty” he joked with you once he caught you admiring him.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked as you made your way to sit on the counter, his hands taking a break from fixing breakfast and helping you up smiling at how cute he thought you looked 

“It was okay. Would’ve been better with you next to me” you told him as you took a blueberry off one of the plates and ate it while Danny went back to making breakfast.

He had made pancakes, washed some fruit and then he was just finishing up the eggs right now. “How was the gym?” You asked him

“It was okay, would’ve been better with you” he answered you sending a smirk your way causing you to roll your eyes while laughing at him reiterating the same response you had given him.

Once the eggs were done and he plated them for the both of you, you jumped off the counter and grabbed them bringing them to the living room.

You had a routine that whenever you ate breakfast together you’d eat it in the living room, enjoying the calmness the morning brought and enjoying each other's company.

It was such a simple act but with Daniel’s busy racing schedule, you had come to appreciate the simpler moments you got to spend with each other and enjoyed just being able to be with each other. 

“What do you want to do today?” you asked your boyfriend taking a bite of your pancakes 

“Can we have a lazy day, maybe go for a walk later to watch the sunset” he suggested 

“Sounds perfect to me” you smiled at him, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

It wasn't like Daniel to suggest something like this as he always wanted to be doing something but every once and a while he would make this type of suggestion and you loved it because it meant getting to spend the day cuddled up which was something you never took for granted.

-

When you both finished breakfast and the dishes were cleaned. You made your way back to the living room where you spent a good chuck of your day, enjoying the comfort from each other.

You watched movie after movie, some funny, some scary, it didn't matter, the two of you loved any time you got to spend together.

When the time came, you got dressed in some warmer clothes, put your shoes on and made your way to watch the sunset.

Daniel had his arms wrapped around your middle, his chin resting on your shoulder while you enjoyed the peace and quiet watching the sun set.

It was moments like this that made you the happiest. Getting to spend precious time with the man of your dreams, nothing else compared to moments like these. 

-

Tags: @namgification

I know it's small but I hope you enjoyed it and this was the first f1 related fic that isn't smau style so I hope its okay. Feel free to send any ideas or requests. Look at this two Danny fics in a row, I must be in a Danny mood ☺️

[whoishotteranimepolls]

One Piece Fandom explain Crocodile because, from my point of view, why would you want to bang a beach? Literally, why would you let Sandman in your hoo-ha? Someone called him Beach Herpes. That sounds right to me, at least because I think sand in my p**** sounds just as bad as an STD. Maybe worse. So call me Anakin Skywalker because I'm not too fond of sand in fact, I hate it. So, I won't allow the human sand castle anywhere near me or my p****.

So why do you all find him attractive? He would get sand everywhere. There's sand in the bed, and their sand on him, on you, their sand in your coochie because of him again, they're sand everywhere. So why is he attractive? Is it just because he's got a sexy voice and is kind of like a Bond villain? Or is it because you think he would be an excellent Dom, or do you want to call him Daddy? I'm a feral smut reader, too. But for some reason, every time I see a fic with him. I keep thinking, just go kiss sandpaper, same thing, or f*** a beach or have a beach f*** you. Why do all of you want that?

So I'm going to let Doflamingo have him. He's definitely crazy enough to kiss sandpaper and f*** a beach. Now, if anyone else wants him, you can have him. But again, I hate sand. You guys can catch beach herpes all you want. Leave me out of it

Defend Your Blurbo #8

Please remember this post is about curiosity and genuine fandom discourse. Be kind with your answers because this is not a debate essay, this is a discussion between fans.

Oh boy where'd even begin with this one. This is Sir Crocodile the Desert King from One Piece he's the main villain of the Arabasta Arc.

He ate the Suna Suna no Mi devil fruit which is a Logia-type Devil Fruit that allows the user to create, control, and transform into sand at will, turning the user into a Sand Human. This should explain so much of the anon's concerns

Have fun, One Piece Fandom. This one's going to be entertaining no matter how you all decide to Defend your Blorbo

[gildedmuse]

Fandom rookie here. Could you please walk me through your Zoro/Law and Zoro/Ace HCs? Love your humor btw!

Ahhh! A little fandom greenhorn! So cute!

You have asked the wrong person the wrong question, newbie.

ZoLaw:

Zoro is from the East, and while he isn't use to Winter Island Cold, he naturally runs hot. Law is from the North and while he HATES being stuck on Summer Islands on hot days, he naturally runs cool. They balance each other beautifully when they share a bed.

Up in the North Blue, it's considered weak to admit that you're cold. Weaknesses gets people killed in the North Blue, so having someone imply you need an extra blanket is a direct insult to a person's ability to keep themselves and their loved ones alive. So obviously Law would never need the extra heat.... But he MAY find himself scooting closer to Zoro-ya on the chillier nights.

The handle of a katana isn't the only thing Zoro can talk around.

...

(Cock. He can talk around a mouth full of cock. And Law LOVES it. Its the only time he can stand one of the Strawhats yapping on).

Look, Law is scientifically minded and likes to believe he is very rational (that's open to debate). He's seen Zoro-ya in the sea and knows he doesn't have a devil's fruit. But sometimes it feels like he does. SPECIFICALLY, one that somehow manages to undo every single one of Law's plans. Because the problem certainly isn't in Law! His plans are complex and perfect. But anytime he comes up for one about how to, say, ask Zoro-ya out it always somehow manages to go terribly wrong. It MUST be a devil's fruit ability.

The first time Zoro actually properly asks Torao out, he first bows to and addresses Kikoku. Since it's imperative he has the curse blades permission to touch his master (especially with all the touching Zoro has planned).

Law doesn't get jealous. That's petty and below him

Law has personally threatened at least three shichibukai and one very (also highly annoying) horny yonko. Not because he was jealous, they just need to step off and stop looking at HIS Zoro-ya that way.

If you ask the boys when they started dating, you get VASTLY different answers. Law would argue that while he'd of course taken notices of the other Supernova back on Saboady, the boy then disappeared for two years and besides Law had a lot of plans that he needed to focus on and execute perfectly. They didn't really see each other again until after Punk Hazard and of course Law was very distracted until after Doflamingo..... Then the horrors they saw on Zou, though, admitedly he may have found himself distracted by Zoro-ya once or twice even at the time.... You know, he would say it was Wano. It was Wano when he realized what an idiot the other boy was, and how he absolutely needed Law on the ground watching after him or he would do something amazingly stupid like... Like listening to Law's plan for instance! When Zoro-ya endangering his life was CLEARLY not what Law intended! Yes, that is when Law decided this boy simply couldn't be considered safe unless Law is there to watch after him..... Also, it's sometimes nice when Zoro-ya looks after him as well.... SOMETIMES.

Zoro would say "Did you see Torao cut that island in half?" And that is all he has to say on the subject of when they started dating.

Law has noticed that Zoro-ya doesn't seem to pay much attention to what he wears, just picks up what is nearest and easiest and throws it on. On an unrelated note, Law has been "accidentally" making sure to strip down right by their bed, and leaving his shirts right there. His shirts with his jolly roger.

Nico Robin had to use not just her ability but her most Teacherly voice in order to separate Luffy and Law when Zoro shows up with the Heart Jolly Roger on his shirt. Law's smirking about it (while Zoro remained utterly confused through the entire fight) didn't help.

Zoro is super weak to people playing with his ear. This goes double when it's Torao and his stupid, sexy hands. He already wants to squirm whenever he watches Torao do that stupid switch-switch thing, but once Torao starts to sit closer and, even while reading his fingers seem to find their way to Zoro's earrings..... Twirl twirl twirl, TUG. Its enough to break Zoro's brain.

Historically, Northern denizens tended to have shorter and much more dangerous lifes compared to the relatively safe and stable East Blue, leading to them having a much different view of things like romance and marriage. That's part of why tattoos are so popular among North Blue denizens. However short your inevitably short life is, a tattoo is permanent. You can't change your mind or take it back. It's a way of wearing your loyalty.

Right behind his ear, the same side as his piercings, Zoro has a small black heart tattoo. He got it on their way up to Wano.

Usopp still doesn't understand how Zoro got lost on a submarine. He didn't see him for a whole four days! What's so funny, Robin.....

I actually have a number of HCs for these two that basically boil down to "Each Island should have its own culture, and by extension, each Blue should have its own culture the way each state has its own culture but the USA also has its own general culture." This can range from things like what I mentioned above, about North Blue having historically shorter lives due to the harsher environment or being more technologically advanced. But I also had smaller things like Law kissing Zoro-ya on the nose, since up North that was how you showed affection to family or younger friends and acquaintances. I also went the entire opposite direction of "smaller" and invented an entirely Shinto derived religion that's customs and kami differed based on the Blue.

I even came up with particular weather that happen almost strictly up North (Ice Storms which are incredibly deadly at sea and Black Mist, a yet unexplained phenomena that seems to choke the life out of any one who gets caught outside) and then wrote up an entire "Old North" mythology that explains the two phenomena and why they often follow each other even though one happens strictly on land and the other typically at sea. I pretty much full on created a whole religion and mythology and wrote individual stories just so Law could have a whole culture that belonged to HIS blue. The myth in question involved a human falling for a siren, and just like actual myths I created multiple retellings and versions where the characterization changed depending on the message the storyteller was trying to express. But in most every version the Siren, Isa, had green hair (because of course the North associates green hair with fertility; oh that's another thing, I created a whole sex profession hierarchy for the North Blue with the one common feature among different types of sex workers being they typically dyed their hair green, like that was a way to physically depict that you were fertile and later that you were, you know, open to being fertilized) and regardless of how they are depicted they end up turning into the shards of an Ice Storm either because they accidentally take human captain's life, do so and then regret their hunger, or are told they have killed them and in turn kill themselves. Law was told the latter version as a child and so always felt bad for Isa, who didn't know they were eating the captain's life force but the crew could have just told him and he would have left and instead because he is "different" they think it's better if he simply destroys himself. It's a character Law can both identify with but also see aspects of Zoro in; both his physical appearance which I'm sure to Law he just pictures Zoro now, but also in his loyalty and honor which aren't as important values up North which instead values survival and strength.

As you can see if I presented an accurate list of my HCs for these two, it would be insane and make no Earthly sense. I just really enjoy world building, especially when that world building leads to two hot sword boys pining after one another.

Oh, did I mention the whole "green hair = sex worker" association and just how personally All Hearts Law takes that when applied to his Zoro-ya?

Yeah.....

ZoBurn FistRo PortZoro

ZoAce:

Upon meeting him during Alabaster, every single non Luffy Strawhat was - at least a little -totally into Ace. He just seemed so cool (and also hot.) He's like a sexy Luffy and the whole crew wanted some.

Zoro wanted it the most, bitches

[roguerambles]

Unexpected Arrivals

Baldur's Gate III - Halsin x Tav x Gale

Warnings - 18+Only. Adult Situations.

So BG3 has had my heart since it's release (seriously, I've been playing it consistently haha) and I wanted to try something using my Tav's. Just a quick something fluffy and silly and a little sexy. I'm not thrilled with how it turned out but I'm trying to beat writer's block.

Also since finding that Gale/Halsin isn't ENTIRELY off the table, my heart is even more set on Gale/Aelia/Halsin, the benefit of fanfiction I suppose haha.

Anyway, my Tavs are Aelia, Half High Elf Storm Sorcerer, and Krios, Tiefling Circle of the Land Druid.

Enjoy the Rambles!

-

Gale's tower was surprisingly homey.

Krios practically jogged up the stone steps, his heavy boots echoing dully, the torches bursting to life as he continued to ascend. He and Astarion had arrived in Waterdeep earlier than expected, and truthfully the druid was too excited to wait until morning to send word to Gale and Aelia. It had been months since they had seen any of their companions, after all.

Astarion had rolled his eyes at him, but sniffed that he supposed Gale's tower was better accommodation than the local inns (and Gale was far less likely to wonder why Astarion would need to be hidden in a rented room all day) but Krios knew he was looking forward to seeing their friends again.

Not enough to take the stairs, even though the lift was taking far too long in Krios's opinion. So the tiefling immediately took off up the staircase, determined to reach the top before the vampire did.

"Ha!"

He grinned to himself as he reached the top landing, the gentle churning of the lift indicating Astarion was still slowly ascending. I win.

The druid debated waiting, before taking note of the sweet smell of fresh soil and flowers that tickled his nose, combined with the gentle spice of cinnamon and fire, and felt a flicker of excitement. In her last letter Aelia had mentioned starting a garden within the tower not long after moving in with Gale, and Krios was eager to see what she had done with it. Surely Astarion would not mind if he knocked and--

"Ahhhhhhhh....."

Krios's large hand froze at the door handle, his ears perking like Scratch's at dinner time. Oh. It was late at night, and Aelia and Gale weren't expecting them. He hadn't considered they would be--

"Ah...! Ohhhhh...Halsin...!"

Wait, what--?

Unable to stop himself, Krios pushed the door slightly - it slowly swung open - so much for those magical defences Gale - and the first thing his eyes landed on where a familiar set of druidic robes, crumbled and abandoned on the floor. Just beyond them, a pair of boots, a half torn tunic, some lacy lingerie--

"Oh....! Yes...Halsin...yes--!"

A woman cried out, voiced laced with pleasure, and Krios's gaze snapped upwards. Aelia, eyes squeezed tight, threw her head back, long raven hair spilling across her shoulders and back. Her naked breasts bounced slightly as she gripped the table beneath her, her thighs clenched around impossibly broad shoulders, fingers tangled in long, messy brown hair. "Yes....ahhhhhhh....!"

Sweet Silvanus--

"Hah....come here to me--!"

Halsin lifted his head from between Aelia's thighs, voice thick with lust. The muscles in his broad back flexed and contracted as he rose, his large hands grasping her hips as he pulled her flush against him. His mouth crushed against hers, capturing her sinful moan as they writhed against each other, falling back into the table, knocking bowls of fruit and chalices of wine to the floor in their haste.

The sweet, heavy scent tickled Krios's nose once again and he swallowed thickly, mind foggy with shock and awe at the naked display of carnality in front of him. Halsin and Aelia? Here? Gale would be crushed. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The druid wanted to say something, but as he opened his mouth words seemed to fade on his tongue. His eyes trailed over the flexing of Halsin's powerful hips, the lovely shape of Aelia's strong thighs, and suddenly Krios did not know whether he would barge in and reprimand them or ask if they wanted company--

"Honestly, you two are incorrigible."

Gale tutted in vague disapproval, appearing from an opposite doorway, a tray of seemed to be water and fruit in his hands. He was draped in a fluffy, dark blue robe, open to expose his surprisingly toned torso. Krios watched as he walked around the table, setting the tray down. "Come on, we must pace ourselves or you'll end up exhausted. We should eat."

Krios was beginning to wonder if he had passed out on the stairs and was dreaming.

“I’d rather devour you.”

Halsin growled, his voice low and playful, reaching out to grasp Gale’s waist and tug him towards himself and Aelia. Gale huffed out a laugh, rolling his eyes slightly, his hand bracing on the elf’s thick bicep.

“Halsin—”

Aelia laughed breathlessly, stopping Gale’s words by leaning up and pressing her lips to his, her arms loosely draping around his neck. Gale mumbled something incomprehensible to Krios’s ears, his mouth moving eagerly against hers as Halsin’s hand roamed down his side, slipping underneath his robe. “Gale, stop talking and get in here—”

“Aelia—” Gale huffed, a warm chuckle melting into a soft moan. “We…we should at least go back to bed—my word—"

Gale apparently needed little encouragement after that, his fingers gently caressing Aelia’s jawline as Halsin leaned against his shoulder, pressing open mouthed kisses along Gale’s neck and shoulder. The three began to move together, bodies sliding and grinding and tangling together, and heat blossomed deep in Krios’s belly, thick roots slowly spreading as his fingers tightly coiled around the door handle still in his grasp. Confusion was being rapidly replaced with arousal and he wet his lower lip with his tongue, the mysteriously sweet scent seeming to engulf his senses as he began to push the door open. He wanted to join them, to feel their naked bodies against his own, writhing and rutting and stroking in pleasure—

“I didn’t realise you liked to watch, darling.”

Krios yelped and whirled around, nearly colliding with Astarion, the fog banished from his mind like smoke in the breeze. Astarion peered up at him, fangs flashing in sharp amusement. “Astarion!” Words stumbled together in his mouth, tumbling out into the air uselessly. “I—I—I was…I just—”

“Krios?”

“Oh! Gracious—!”

The door swung open as Astarion peeked around Krios, eyebrow quirked. “Dinner and a show, Gale? Really, you shouldn’t have.”

Gale looked painfully flustered, hastily grabbing some discarded clothing from the floor to try and preserve some modesty. Aelia stared at them, wide-eyed, while Halsin made absolutely no attempt to cover up, simply looking pleased to see them.

“Krios! Astarion!” Halsin’s face lit up, a bright smile forming on his ruggedly handsome features. “What a wonderful surprise.” His large hand slowly rubbed up and down Aelia’s thigh slung across his hip, and Krios found himself watching the gesture with fascination, his gut tightening as Halsin’s voice seemed to drop an octave. “Please. Join us.”

“Halsin!” Gale hissed, reaching across Aelia to lightly shove Halsin’s shoulder. “Please!”

Halsin coughed, an expression of mild embarrassment flashing across his face, before he offered a sheepish grin as next to Krios, Astarion began to cackle. “Apologies. Aelia’s new blooms have had…interesting effects.”

Finally, Krios realised where the scent was coming from. Just beyond the room, he could see what appeared to be a small garden, perfuming the air with nature and magic. He cleared his throat, shaking his head to try and clear the mist from his thoughts. "You...you exposed Halsin to an aphrodisiac...?"

Halsin laughed, a self-deprecating smile on his face, as Aelia smothered a laugh behind her hand. A nervous chuckle escaped Gale, who waved his hand vaguely in the air as though he suddenly had no idea what to do with it. "Well, we were a little surprised ourselves! Really, druidic magic isn't my area of expertise, but it is quite fascinating the intersecting nature of--"

"Gale, handsome--" Aelia leaned against his shoulder, hiding a smile against his skin. "Perhaps save the lecture for when we are all wearing clothes."

"That...might be a good idea, my love." Gale laughed, a note of mild hysteria in his voice as he shrugged apologetically in Krios's direction. Krios for his part was suddenly distracted by the image of a naked Gale lecturing him on plants and felt blood begin slowly journeying south of his body. What the fuck--

The half high elf sorcerer smiled slightly, sitting up from her position roughly between Gale and Halsin. “Besides…I would have thought a certain Archdruid would have noticed what we were planting…”

“They are exceptionally rare plants!” Halsin laughed slightly, lightly squeezing her thigh, still laid out across the table, body on shameless, delicious display. Krios was beginning to feel flushed. “Truthfully, I am amazed you even found them at all.”

“Still, you’ve been here for months. I am surprised—”

“Halsin is living here?” Krios blinked, briefly seizing onto clarity. Gale looked slightly flushed as Aelia smiled, hands catching Gale’s and Halsin’s own. “You…the three of you—?”

“Yes, well—” Gale cleared his throat loudly, looking very intently at something vaguely above Krios’s head. “It’s…we’re…exploring the possibility of….we are exploring—"

“Gale and Aelia have honoured me by allowing me to share in their relationship.” Halsin interrupted, catching Gale’s hand and lifting it to his lips, pressing a light kiss against his knuckles. The wizard stuttered, looking even more flustered, while Aelia grinned fondly at the two men on either side of her. “We are allowing our roots to grow together.”

Astarion looked bemused for a moment, before shaking his head. “Well, good for you three, I suppose.” He flashed Gale a coy grin. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“We are very happy for you.” Krios nudged Astarion slightly. “We…we are sorry to have interrupted—”

“We?” Astarion gave him a mockingly non-plussed look. “You were the one lurking at the door, darling.”

Krios could feel his cheeks burning. “I…apologies, I…those plants are really something.” He finished lamely, contemplating fleeing the tower, stripping down and diving into the harbour fuck it was hot in here.

“Indeed they are.” Halsin’s eyes slowly trailed over him, lips curving into a soft smirk. “Perhaps we could—”

Aelia smacked Halsin’s shoulder this time. “Down boy.” She chided playfully, allowing the playful smile she shot Krios way – her body angling to show off her delightful curves – told him she wasn’t opposed to the idea. “I’m sure Krios and Astarion are tired from their journey.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Astarion laughed, eyes lit up with clear amusement as he turned to grin at Krios. “This one looks raring to go.”

He was, embarrassingly enough. The botanist in him made a mental note to inquire after those plants later, when he was at least fairly certain he wasn’t at risk of jumping his hosts bones. “We…should give you all some privacy…” He cleared his throat, the absurdity of the situation causing a nervous, sheepish grin to bloom on his lips. “But, at the moment, a cold bath suddenly sounds lovely.”

Gale gasped suddenly, and practically leapt from the table, magic briefly flashing around him, and suddenly he stood in a loose blue tunic and black pants. “Gods, your room isn’t ready! Give me just a moment, and I’ll have it prepared at once—"

“Oh, Gale, please, we arrived unexpectedly.” Krios protested as the wizard rushed past him, turning to hurry after him. “Please, do not trouble yourself on our account—”

“Speak for yourself, darling.” Astarion scoffed, exchanging amused glances with Aelia and Halsin. With a playful bow, he turned and followed Krios out, listening to he and Gale’s voices down the hallway. Apparently, manners overpowered embarrassment.

At least breakfast tomorrow would have interesting conversation.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №23!

Random/cursed edition!

What if I were to try and tell Fault!Wilbur where babies come from?

So. Phil has said that Tubbo's problem is not having blood in that one famous shitpost which got me into Fault in the first place. So. What if they did have blood though? Like what if some of the wax cells were filled with blood? Just spontaneously. For blood-letting purposes, yk.

I think I saw you mention somewhere that Fault!Tubbo either has or could potentially have memories from different alternative versions of themselves. Explain please?? Also does that mean that they potentially have memories from my personal au where most of my ocs and headcanons live? Btw my first reaction at that thought was "AAHH FUCK NONONONONO BITCH CHEESUS CRUST". It's not that bad though I promise I'd just be embarrassed either way.

What if. What if the Fault crew + the scp researchers got spontaneously teleported into a gacha reaction videos where they had to react to your shitposts, animations and drawings. Also throw a couple of 2018 style gacha vids in there for good measure. (While writing this I checked the lyrics of Devils don't fly and realised that it's actually a pretty serious song. Which like- damn.)

What role would the Fault crew characters get in the soldier poet king test? I do love that test a little too much maybe- here's the link to the quiz! https://uquiz.com/quiz/MYLbZ3/are-you-a-soldier-a-poet-or-a-king

This one has heavy spoilers!

1. Probably depends on how you do it, but I think he’d just take basic notes on sex-ed. Doesn’t have much puritan context of taboo or embarrassment on the subject. Fairly indifferent on the whole sex thing because he doesn’t think it’ll ever come up in his lifestyle of avoiding humans and knowing only 4 people. Probably a little irritated that its theories were so wildly off base, grumble a bit about how its own ideas about making Faustian bargains with dark entities and trading organ: [womb] for power make far more sense but whatever. He thinks pregnancy is stupid because how are you supposed to run like that? And your food is SIPHONED off by the fetus? Why can’t they get their own? And at the end you get a human. Terrible process all around. 3/10 Tommy has less ammunition to tease it now and that’s IT. 

2. Probably smell bad. Maybe they could do things like blush? Mosquitoes would go crazy for them. If this is ‘a previously weren’t a blood fruit gusher’ situation, Tubbo would be freaking out about 1. Who the muffin’s blood is this and 2. Starving 2 death babyy. Cause they really need that honey to operate. A bunch of baby larva are going to die even if all the workers can go into overdrive to feed the Hive. I think it would be very funny if Tubbo tried to break into a blood bank to donate it all. Shhh don’t worry about where this blood came from. Or what happened to the security cameras. It’s for a good cause trust trust. 

3.Heavy spoilers. The plan was that Tubbo and Wilbur get dunked through the near apocalypse via dissolving of the narrative due to SOMEONE being so depressed it fails to keep the void in check/potentially interpretable as being suicidal, thus exposing the two to pure void madness and realizing everything is a story. Which would entail having some familiarity/confusion about the source material of the dsmp, some vlogs, etc. but not necessarily AUs. But then SOMEONE turned out to be an abusive ass, and that plot point got very icky to me. I’ve been debating it for months, but realized I’m sexy and do what I want so am going to limit it to pure awareness of being a story, but not necessarily a fanfic. Still has the existential crisis of it and the philosophical implications that are going to so beautifully deal with themes of attachments, the purpose of narratives, and parallel whatever the hell trauma Tommy is dealing with during that section. But won’t actually deal with having any true awareness of stuff outside of Fault. Except maybe for realizing “Lawrence killed our muffining husband?!” because that scene was funny as hell to write. I dunno plans change. I’ve tried not to let outside events change my artistic vision, but it’s inevitable. 

4.Oh goodness they absolutely despise me for all the jokes about the horrors they’re going through. Probably think they’re being drawn ‘cute’ given they’re probably a lot freakier looking irl, and slightly distressed about being chibis. I think most would even consider it ‘out of character’ given their self perceptions don’t tend to be the most accurate. Current Wilbur is hissing and vehement about being constantly called an it because his character development is very far off from when that happens. Philza is a little disappointed that his bloodthirsty moments gets so much emphasis since he’s so chill 97% of the time. Tommy is absolutely chuffed to bits to realize he’s the main character, though trying to do damage control cause haha I’m fine guys this crazy internet person just made me seem edgy and depressed. 

Webb is going to strangle me for the Philza/Webb post tho. And the haha poor alcoholic divorcee doormat jokes. Dr. Blake assumes the blog is an anomaly and starts trying to torture it…?

5. I took the quiz sitting in the heads of all of them. 

Tommy: The Poet. “So I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me, till then my windows ache.” “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I am disappointed in you” literally happens in Fault. With Philza. “What is a sin? Inevitable” is pretty much something he tells Tubbo word for word. “What is hell anyway? Barren” "how can you love me with all that I've done ?"

The Blade: The Soldier. “if you were to wear a crown it would be covered in blood. The one of the guilty.” “The sword is at your side. It bore your name long before you did.” is rather literal both for his name and The Blood God. “but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" “What is hell anyway? Doubt”

Wilbur: The King. “Despite all your attempts, you have never been a healer. You hurt people and they leave and you are alone in a room full of silence. You sing to try and forget, but it does not work” everything about this. Trying to heal but being made of destruction, his fears of devouring his family, singing, memory loss, everything everything it’s so Wilbur. "come and be human with me" “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I love you." <literally Phil’s last words when Wilbur killed him in the Whumptober au. "but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" why it has insomnia.

Philza: The Poet. “There are rules. How many? One, and you will follow it.” For his Collected. “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough. You had the power to change things and it wasn't enough.” For all his dead children. "you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist" it's him reaching out. I love the reverse imagery with Phil, a god worshiping his mortals “anger is a strength in a world of apathy.” He feels no shame or burden for his anger, knowing well the good it can do. “Who taught you about guilt? The silence” 

Tubbo: The King. Absolutely perfect as a foil to The Blade btw. “What is duty? Undeniable” “The throne looks golden, and covered in flowers” “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough.” Saving people from Philza. “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I forgive you” Rosaliiiiiind. “Who taught you about guilt? God”

[sabraeal]

Just a Second Away from Being In Love (Or Alone)

[Read on AO3]

Written for @another-miracle, who asked for any Obi POV in Wide Florida Bay-- but hopefully an obiyuki one 🤣. It actually took me a while to circle in on which one to pick; there's a few that I had my eye on earlier in the timeline, but when it came to obiyuki bits...I knew it had to be this one, which starts off a small mini-arc in the established relationship part of this fic!

It takes him two hours and two pounds of eggplant, but after five minutes of this newest crisis of morale, Obi finally gives in: he going have to use his Phone A Friend for this one. Or at least someone friendly. Ish.

“Tell me this is gonna be worth it,” he huffs, contorted into nature’s worst pretzel shape; his newest attempt to locate anything that could pass for another pie plate in this place. No way Doc’s lived here for three years without putting at least five of the most grandma-worthy vessels for piping-hot fruit somewhere in the cabinets. “Tell me this is gonna be the best thing I’ve put in my mouth my whole life. A fucking paradigm shift when it comes to food.”

“It’s eggplant parmesan. You’re gonna wish it was chicken.” Kelly Ann clucks her tongue, and god, she can be a thousand miles away, but he knows she’s got a knee balanced up on her desk, head tipped back because her eyes can’t roll far enough. “But you just spend half an afternoon drying the most finicky vegetable known to man, so you can’t turn back now. You’re committed.”

That’s the sort of talk that would have given him a life-threatening case of the hives years ago, limping around Atlanta’s unforgiving streets looking for an Urgent Care more quickly than taking a jab to the gut. But now he just asks, “But she’ll like it though, right?”

Kelly Ann sighs, already sick of him. “Yes. The poor innocent you’ve tricked into thinking you’re boyfriend material will think it’s the best thing she’s ever eaten. Even Cal’s officer buddies eat it, and they’re more picky than the four-year-old.”

“I dunno,” he hums, hand-pulverized breadcrumb scattering over sea foam ceramic. “She cooks really good. Have I told you about the Cornish hens? They—”

“I have heard all about the Cornish hens. I am sick of hearing about the Cornish hens.” Obi’s mouth twitches. Gotta be hard for her, having to share the pedestal for Gayle’s Favorite Child. At least with someone who isn’t her own kid. “What kind of guarantees are you look for here? That it’s going to get you laid? It will definitely get you laid.”

“Kelly Ann.” If his hands weren’t covered in egg, he’d be pressing one to his chest, scandalized. “I wasn’t— I’m not doing this for sex.”

She snorts. Which, frankly, he’s earned. But he’s turned over a new leaf. Become a new, better man. One who knows that the most important part of a relationship isn’t what happens between the sheets.

But it certainly helps hedge your bets, especially when you’re as much of a fuck up as he is. Hell, if sex was an option, he wouldn’t be here, debating which hand he’d used for the wet ingredients and which was for the dry. Oh no, he would have been far too busy making her see shrimp colors to worry about whether eggplants stayed crispier fried or baked. But since he’d had fallen for her absolutely genius— though, as Yuzuri warned, biologically inadvisable— beach-dinner-sex seduction strategy, Doc’s on the bench for the next quarter, sexy-time wise, and he’s—

Well, he’s got to show her he’s got talents out of the bedroom too. Or, er, off the couch. And shower. Sometimes even—

Ah, well, non-flat surface based talents. Cooking’s supposed to be one of them.

At least, it would be, if his eggplant slices weren’t eating floor. “How are you supposed to even get these slippery bastards over to the tray? They just keep— fuck.”

“Just go slow,” Kelly Ann informs him with an aggravating amount of patience. “It’s not a race.”

“I am going slow,” he snaps, gingerly transferring his next slice to the rack. “There is no possible way I could be going slower. I’m going to be here for days just doing this. Years from now, archaeologists will find my body and wonder why I’m only halfway through—”

“If there was an Olympic event for complaining, you’d take gold five years running.” She can tease him as much as she like, but there’s no bite to it anymore, no sharp teeth waiting to take a nibble. No, he’s pretty sure that the stretch on her vowels means she’s smirking; the closest thing to a smile when she’s aimed in his direction. “Maybe you should be doing this for sex, it sounds like you might need—”

“You keep this up and I’ll ask Gayle when you’re thinking you’ll have round two.” His mouth is all teeth as he adds, “After all, Laila would make such a cute big sister.”

He can’t see her, but he can hear her seething on the other end of the line. “I know where you live.”

“It’s a fourteen hour drive at best and I’ve got Mom on speed dial.”

Her scowl radiates from the speaker. “Fine,” she grits out. “Guess I’ll just have to tell her we’re waiting until number two could have a playmate.”

Obi blinks down at her picture. “Huh, Toddy’s found some girl? That’s fast. He was single at—”

“I’m not talking about Toddy.”

There’s enough silence in the kitchen to make his ears ring. “…What?”

“Oh, come on, Obi,” Kelly Ann sighs, as if he’s the one being obtuse. “The only people you two were fooling at Christmas were yourselves. And now you’re spending a whole day pampering eggplant to impress her?”

“I had a day off,” he murmurs, knees suddenly as solid as his egg dredge. “And I don’t think battering and frying count as a spa day.”

Kelly Ann grunt, unconvinced. “Sure, sure, we can sit here and have you deflect all day. But when it comes down to it…you’re serious about her aren’t you?”

As a heart attack. Which would be fine, if they weren’t barely two months in to the longest relationship of his life. “I think it’s a little soon to say that, uh…”

“That you love her?” His heart beats so loud in his ears he can hardly hear her ask, “You do, don’t you? Love her?”

“Yeah.” It’s a miracle he can even speak with his mouth this dry. “Of course I do.”

“Have you said that? With your Big Boy words?”

He has to press his hands against the counter to keep them from shaking. A strategy that would go better if both of them weren’t covered in egg gunk.

“Ah, gotta go,” he gasps, already reaching for a towel. “Making a real mess of all this.”

“Obi—”

The first finger clean shoots out, cutting off the call.

“There,” he sighs. “That’s enough of that existential crisis.”

*

The eggplant’s fresh out of the oven and sauce just off the heat when the door opens with a shush, his own personal problem stumbling out into the living room, trying to toe her sandals into the tray. If he weren’t elbow deep with this casserole dish, he’d saunter out to appreciate her attempts; there’s a lot on TV nowadays, but none of it can compete with Doc nearly giving herself a concussion trying to unlatch one of those little buckles. TLC used to say you learned something new every day, and listening to her grumble approach swears without ever intersecting, Obi agrees.

“Oh, really.” Most people might be happy just to hurl abuse at inanimate objects, but not Doc. Oh no, she’s got to reason with them.  “This sort of…of…tomfoolery is very…rude. I think you should just…stop…if you would…”

He waits until the first tell-tale clatter and clunk, to call out, “Welcome home.”

“Obi!” she yelps, and oh, he might not be able to see it, but he knows that shocked look: mouth as round as her eyes, skin flushed down to where it meets the swoop of her collar. Extremely kissable, is what he’s saying. “You’re here?”

A tap of the sauce spool sends a chunk of it skittering across the stove, but he grins anyway. “Am I not supposed to be? Did you have plans? Maybe even naughty—?”

“No!” It’s more of a croak than a gasp. “No, I mean…you’re supposed to be here. I’m happy your here. You” —her voice drops, soft, like her pillows— “belong here.”

He thought he’d known all the ways a heart could ache these past few years, but when she talks like that, ah, he’d never thought it could feel this good. Or this terrifying. “You’re not denying the naughty plans thing.”

And she still doesn’t, going so quiet a guy might get suspicious, if he didn’t know— keenly— that she was still in the shop. Taking her nice places and making delicious, boyfriend-worthy dinners has been great; a bigger rush than sex in a bathroom stall. But still, when most of their nights involve staying in, settling into the couch the way they always did, just with the new, heady knowledge that they both are wanting the same things…

Well, there’s been a few inadvisable make out sessions. Exciting ones, the kind that involve hands going under shirts and down pants and wearing hoodies in eighty degree weather the next day. But every time they wandered beneath her shorts— or, more than a few personally exhilarating times, skirts— the mood swerved off the rails, ending things before they— or well, she could get anywhere. After a three-year dry spell, Obi thought a few weeks would be a breeze, a quick breather between rounds, but after a month of having her moan his name at just the simplest touch—

It’s a special kind of torture, he thinks as the other shoe drops. Especially when Doc’s never been one to behave.

“You are home early.” Doc doesn’t often get the jump on him— in shitty childhood vs playful girlfriend, there’s a clear winner every time— but this time, when her sweet voice pipes up from his elbow rather than the galley window, he does. “And cooking dinner?”

“Yeah, I, ah…” She’s always been a curious little squirrel, skittering hither and yon, but when she leans around him to catch a peek of his hard work, her breasts brush against his arm, and, well— like he said. It’s been a long time. “Haah…just needed to let some data compile for a diagram. Thought it might do better on my laptop on our internet.”

He should be playing Tetris with these eggplant pieces right now, but Doc doesn’t make it easy, not with the way she tucks herself against him, her front pressed to his side, a burning line from shoulder to hip. “Are those eggplant?”

One small hand traces a path across his belly, just below his navel, and— and Obi can read a room. Really he can. It’s just not possible that she’s putting down what he’s picking up. “Y-yeah.” He clears his throat, willing it back into an actual, grown adult’s register. “I, uh, got the recipe from Kelly Ann. She…”

Her wrist twists, just enough to dip the tip of her finger beneath his waistband, and oh god, okay, he can’t take it. “Can we talk?” he asks, desperate, one hand gripped around her wrist. “Just for a second here. Because I…I need some clarification, I think.”

Doc flusters, every visible inch of her skin red as she tries to slip from his grasp. Which is absolutely not happening, not if she’s barking up the tree he thinks she is. “S-sorry! I just…I thought…”

One tug sends her careening back into him, every inch of her pressed against every inch of him. Or well, most of them. He's got ten or so that don't quite match up “I’m not complaining about the thinking here. I’m confused about the doing, because I thought we weren’t supposed to, er…”

Do the doing isn’t really where he wants to take this sentence. “I thought,” he starts again, a shade more collected, “that you were in the shop.”

“No.” Her cheeks flush so pink he’s half tempted to bite them, just to see what she’d taste like against his tongue. “I-I mean, I was. But I went to my doctor today, and um…?”

Every muscle in his body stiffens, tense like a cat ready to pounce. “And…?”

Doc might be bold enough to throw herself out windows and into swamps full of at least three of his most deadly fears, but at the twitch of his dick against her hip, her eyes skitter back toward the counter. “A-are you at a good place to stop?”

The eggplant’s going to get floppy in the sauce, and none of it will be as good as it would be if he finished getting this in the oven now, but he can hardly care, not when she lets out a delicious little gasp as she bumps into the counter.

“What exactly did the doc clear you for?” he rumbles, leaning in to give her parted lips the barest brush. “This?”

Her fingers clench at his shoulders, as frustrated as the moan that slips from her throat. “Obi…”

There’s a warning in that, a promise for what will wait for him if he keeps up his teasing, and it only makes his next taste all the sweeter.

“This?” It’s a whisper against her lips, one lost when she swallows it whole. Those fingers yank him down, trapping him in this endless drag of lips and tongue, each one teasing out another moan, another shiver, until he’s nearly drunk from it.

One of his palms scrapes up her side; the silky material of her dress catches on his calluses before he dips beneath it, her nipple already pebbled against his palm. “This?”

His mouth drops to catch it, and oh, if he thought she’d been close before, there’s nothing but cloth between them now, her body arched to fill the curve of his. “Obi!”

She’s trembling in his grip, only the arm at her back keeping her upright, and oh, it’s nothing to trace his fingers up her thigh, to trace the edge of her panties. “This?”

His only answer is a whimper and the bite of nails at his shoulder. It’s enough; he shoves them to the side, the small hairs there tickling his palms. And when the tip of his finger slips between her folds—

“Jesus. Fuck.” His forehead rests against her shoulder. “You’re…?”

Wet. Soaked. His mouth is too dry to get out the words. He doesn’t need to, not when she nods, wiggling against his hand. “Uh-huh.”

“Hah.” He licks his lips, hoping she can’t feel how he trembles now, every part of him drawn as tight as a bowstring. “How about this?”

His fingers dip inside, two sinking straight to the last knuckle. God, he nearly cums right there, from the noise she makes. “Is this what the doc cleared you for, Shirayuki?”

She whines, a pathetic, frustrated sound. One he’d be happy to tease out of her again, if she didn’t reach down and pump his fingers into her again, like he might need the help.

“Haah,” he breathes, hard. “Yeah, I think I can help with that.”

By the way she’s moving, it won’t be enough. Not nearly enough for either of them, not with his cock straining his jeans, soaking them where it’s trapped up against the band. He grinds against her hip, trying to get some relief, pulling her even tighter against him as his fingers work, and—

“Obi,” she gasps, pushing his shoulders away. “We eat on these counters.”

He’d argue that, if they weren’t already sharing space with dinner. Instead he leans in, giving her one, long kiss as he drags his fingers out of her. “Your room or mine?”

“Whichever,” she sighs, hopping up into his arms, “is closer.”

[nakaleawesome]

Ok I need to settle a debate: 🍇

[isas-oc-asylum]

Z, X, Y, F, and E for the alphabet soup ask

I immediately forgot I reblogged that.

Z - Zandis Elroy-Osoro-Alvarez

My little autistic Latino vampire blorbo, so full of trauma and gay rage. I think he's by far my fruitiest character, being bigender and polygamous pansexual. Lil angry fruit bat. Pun intended. Also he's in a mafia, like what the fuck is up with him he's the entire Target luggage section.

X - Despite having over 400 OCs, I surprisingly don't have one with an X name yet.

Y - Yami Visata

I debated picking another Y name out of spite because he's low-hanging fruit but how can I not talk out of context to anyone not in my Arboresia discord server about the leader of an interdimensional "cult" full of sociopaths and serial killers who do less killing and more fucking around. He looks like a drag queen and a mad hatter had a baby. He's irrationally afraid of peanuts. He's killed thousands across the multiverse. He gets confused for a girl by his own besties. He has an eye fetish. He needs to calm down.

F - "Flame" Paimon DeLuna

Again I stubbornly wanted to pick a different F name but how can I NOT gush about Cyber's babiest brother who's Satan and poly pan and married to his childhood bestie and big tiddy goth high school bestie. Also they have like 11 kids. Its his husband's fault not his. Who let such an infuriatingly sexy nerd flip his dad's regime in Hell ass over skull and still spend most of his time being a lovable big brother friend.

E - Evee Raposa

Evee (and Flame) were originally OCs of an ex-friend which I yoinked because they were crucial to the development of my OCs. She's the adopted daughter of Wilfre, who found her in an abandoned hotel trapped under a bed with her mouth sewn shut. Long story short, a Fucked Up Guy did Fucked Up Stuff and then left her there for dead. All of it left her growth stunted so she looks like she's like 10 when in reality she's somewhere in her 20s (oh god I've had her so long wtf). She's a small chaotic little shit doing much better now. Wilfre is Arboresia's best dad tbh.

[uchiha-7thsingularity]

Did my best and I could add more. But I'm kinda busy right now. So part two might have to wait a while. For @terezipyropeandpyralspite who's waitd for this tea a long time. Here's a treat for you.

Relix Lovebirds

1)Two rivals, two funerals, two resurrections, one chaotic duo.

Cuddles are privileged to have in their wholesome relationship. Rime plops on Felix's stomach to bite his lower stomach earning a choked gasp from his green bean. Felix tugs on rime's tail in retaliation to obtain a gushing deer boi to moan in delight. Felix legit swallowed his thumping heart back into his numb body. Rime teases him daily about his reaction since then.

Which reminds me these two cease to "NOT" work close together. Holding hands when next to each other on the couch or in the kitchen. Sitting on either one's lap when sitting at the desk to get work done. *clink glasses* no work was done. Mad at each other over a silly debate….both turned away from each other to be seen leaning back against the other to see who breaks first.

Rime cooks for felix and teaches him small, simple recipes to taste his lover's touch of sugar and spice. 

Felix literally cherishes rime's antlers to the point he polishes his old sets he has in his room. Rime doesn't question it but is concerned for felix poking his eye out.

On going prank wars. Rime's hair changes color. Felix loses stella's toy in his replica portals. Stella's fur turns color palette. Rime's room is covered in pink flamingos. 

Smooches! Kisses on the forehead when passing in the hallways. Lip bites when stealing glances across the mess hall. Ruffling hair strands. Rime braids their hair together to cut the braid off. Saving it for good luck.

Keep in mind these two have a fixed schedule. Do they follow it…..no. Felix sleeps in and rime nags him for the bad habit. Rime doesn't know when to hold back insults so felix kicks him in the ankles. No chill can be seen when seeing this pair in synchronized arguments.

Rime sometimes, most times will haul felix up by his collar just to show he can lift him anytime he desires.

Felix will ignore rime on purpose to get his attention to the point rime ignores him and he breaks. 

Matching outfits. The golden-roped tassels. Lined and stitched embroidery with their house insigna's. Collars are a MUST! Ponytails, jackets, eyeliner….need to take a breath. Belt buckles to tug on to kiss their soulmate, other half, and best friend.

The color for the day is jet black, raven black, coal, charcoal, or gray.

Earrings that have their birthstones.

Tattoos with their initials on opposite wrists. 

Portraits of each other together doing taxidermy. On a picnic. At the beach reading their shared favorite series. Gazing at the stars. Endless fascinating adventures to be had and told. Not in a single breath though.

Buying bouquets of skeleton with black ribbons tied with an "Happy Anniversary Baby Boi" Box of chocolates covered marshmallows/fruit. Poems or haikus. Black and red ombre rose petals lined up the walls to lead to the bedroom. Go to horny jail. Now!!

One of them sets up dinner dates while the other sets up a party for two for the evening.

Speaking each others language is so sexy. One speaks vair the other Spanish. 

Roleplaying their beloved moments from the novels Bitten thrice and so on. 

Cafe matching mugs with their names inscribed into the bottoms.

And that's all I got for now, au revoir!

[aturinfortheworse]

is there a reason you’ve posted that Todd Howard post like 30 times… I have nothing against the post but oh my god

also sexiest fruit is a mango

OP is a dear friend of mine and he told me how much he loves getting notes.

Also I'm blocking you. For reasons that have nothing to do with your extremely incorrect opinion about fruit sexiness.

[hamuchustartea]

°˖✧My Top 3 Comfort Characters✧˖°

☆I introduce these Lovely Fictional Men who had always given Meaning to my Life☆ ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡.:*♡

1. Guzma

(Pokemon SM, USUM and Masters)

I LOVE GUZMA!  ♡( ´ ▽ ` )♡

I've been in love with him since he was introduced in the Pokemon Sun and Moon game trailers back in August 2016 and it's all thanks to his swag, cockiness and punk aesthetic. Goth Punk boys are my ultimate weakness and Guzma is a combination of Goth Punk hard as nails and Hip Hop swag. His design plus his backstory was the best part of the game and since then, I couldn't get enough of him. He's everything I want from a guy. (≧▽≦)

Speaking of his backstory, he by far is the most relatable character to me. I can easily understand his frustrations and empathize with his inner pain and desire to prove his worth. Learning from his struggles and redemption made me love him even more.

Therefore, he'll always be my no. 1 favorite character and maybe forever? ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧*:・ﾟ

2. Junkrat (Overwatch)

I can't get enough of this crazy, loveable bloke!

Before discovering Guzma and just when Overwatch was new (around May or June 2016 I think), I saw some random game screenshots and hot art of Junkrat in Tumblr. You know I’m CRAZY for Goth Punk Boys! So Mad Max Punk Junkrat immediately caught my attention.  

But not too long, Guzma came to my life and swept off my feet! And for a time I forgot about Junkrat. Poor baby. That happens when a lot of hot characters are introduced in a very short period of time. (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

Last month, I remembered Junkrat when I found my collection of old hot fanart of him. Thus, rekindling my love for him. It's kind of unusual for me to like him because I'm usually into muscly men, although he still is well toned but on the skinny side. But it's the crazy personality that I loved the most about him.

  I both love Guzma and Junkrat! They’re two different men. One is cocky while the other is maniacal, but they’re both Wild Punks which is why I  LOVE the two of them!

3. Ramsay (Gigantic)

I discovered him after a friend of mine mentioned about the character during our online chat. After searching him up, I realized I have the hots for Ramsay! (ᗒᗨᗕ) I feel so bad not knowing about him sooner. I don’t know why I wasn’t familiar with the game or the character, maybe I missed him or he got drowned by the more popular games like Overwatch and Pokemon.

  Ramsay is like a combination of Guzma and Junkrat. I love his overall appeal! I love his design, his clothes, that smug look, cocky attitude and roguish personality. And that Punk Hair! Also he’s so sexy to brandish his blade coated with poison fruit juices. σ(≧▽≦σ)～♡ ヽ(o´∀`)ﾉ♪♬♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪ So there you have it folks, but I'm not done yet with my mushy ramblings. Guzma may be my no. 1 but I'm still debating on who’s the hottest among the three of them. I just don’t know I’m so confused now.  ლ(¯ロ¯"ლ)

But the main reason why I love these men is because I find them very unique and highly appealing. What do they have in common? Their big personalities, wild looks and penchant for trouble. I have a feeling that they were inspired by 80s and 90s troublemaker characters that I enjoyed watching when I was a kid. Gosh, I still never overcame my love for bad boys. (⁄⁄>⁄▽⁄<⁄⁄)

[snugglytooth]

. The healer and the hollow

@reservedhealer from here;

Hiyori was that audacious that she wandered into Soul Society at will. It was always on a very rare occasion. She does not like the place. The air itself, would sometimes take her by the throat and stir her insides like congee. It was just… too painful. The home that she has lost forever.

But… her friends are still alive. She had just needed to ensure that Mashiro had been alright. Whilst Hiyori had very dramatically and firmly declared she would never ever step foot in Soul Society - she has already done so once. Reluctantly as a fighter against the quincy and now, again… to check on a friend. to check on Mashiro Kuna. The green-haired lieutenant loved matcha flavoured chocolate, but only in one brand. And who would take the time to bring that? Hiyori hopes someone would. But days trickled into a week and the girl had noticed Mashiro still had no sweets. Plenty of fruits and hearty meals, but none of her favourite sweets from the world of the living. So Hiyori had not only left peeled fruits (because Mashiro wasn’t going to eat the fruits unless they were peeled), as well as matcha kitkats. The small visored had debated on leaving a note. Something sappy like… get well soon. But… instead she had just wrote you are super - and left it at that.

Mashiro would know and then burst into tears and it would all be too dramatic. Hiyori couldn’t have people think she was going soft.

Her eyes wavered once more, glancing at the monitors and fluids attached to her friend before slipping out. She would be okay. Once that had been asserted, Hiyori found herself caught by the captain of the fourth division. Shit. This wasn’t Unohana- but the former lieutenant.

Long legs like some sexy skyscraper and a very pretty face. Eugh… Hiyori cannot deal with girls like this. They made her feel ten times uglier than she really was.

Hiyori glances at Mashiro again. She would be so thrilled to see the gardens and to see Hiyori in so long but…

“Eh- she’ll be bouncin’ around and bothering Kensei again, no need for me ‘ta hang about,” Hiyori shrugs  in a way that suggested she didn’t really care. Although, it was obvious to the pair of them she would be coming back again.

At least the care from the fourth division was always on point. Hiyori was living and breathing proof that the fourth division was amazing at what they did. And so… she could not help but be a little concerned. Not much. Just a teensy bit.

“Yer dropping on yer feet. Even I know healing kidou is the most draining kidou. I –” she blinks and then looks away. Isane looks almost embarrassed at having been caught. “I’m not tired. I don’t have a job like this.”

Hiyori’s life was relatively on easy mode now. No Aizen to worry about defeating. No life and death encounters with menos grande or creepy enemies. Just leisurely training sessions with Love and Hachi. Some little jobs in the world of the living she could do in her sleep. She was strong and fast so had a technical advantage over humans in their jobs.

“If yer havin’ a tea break, I’ll join ya. I need ‘ta ask… ya sommat as a captain. And- and as… as- well, let’s talk.”

[strawberryqueen00]

Looking for Alpha Readers!

Intro and expectations

Heya! My name’s Berry(She/They) and I’ll get right to the mark. I’m currently writing a Frozen fanfic that is an Villain AU(based on Lydia the Bard’s villain Anna AU) and involves multiple characters that are OCs and some canon characters. But feel free to keep interested even if you’re not a Frozen fan! Just someone pasingly interested in Lydia’s content or the fantasy works too!

In terms of the Canon characters I plan to focus on(bold are considered major characters with planned POVs even if for one chapter.

-Anna -Caleb Westergaard -Prince Hans Wstergaard (NO HELSA) -Elsa -Lars Westergaard -Mathias -Yelana

My interests are VERY MUCH NOT sexually explicit content and my romances tend to not be the major focuses of them(my fics generally being in the “Gen” category). If you’re looking to not Alpha fics with sexual content but has romance I’m the fruit for ya! I also take heavy muse inspired from Six of Crows and Wings of Fire which have inspired my trend to have different characters be POVs. I’m generally interested in larger and grander stories in the best way I can describe as being like a “DnD Campaign but a retelling” and characters that are complicated and explore darker themes in a “Teen” rating way.

(I’m still debating some plotlines but of what I have rn)

Such themes or possible content that could be

Abusing upbringing, bullying, bullying main character, childhood neglect, descriptions of freezing and the cold affecting the body, character experience PTSD, character experience amputation induced phantom pain and a general plot point surrounding accepting an unconsented amputation.

As an Alpha reader I am asking someone to-

1. Look at my drafts and point out any major spell checking errors that aren’t caught with the word and Grammarly softwares I use.

2. Give me a first go to have a second set of eyes on it and see if generally the chapter just flows nicely.

So. Why do I need an Alpha Reader.

-I tend to start on things and not finish them even if I’m interested unless I set dedicated deadlines for myself. And knowing that there is going to be someone who will be reading this that I get is that extra incentive for me.

-I also put the Sexy in Dyslexia and I realize it’s much harder for me to spell check my fics and I’d rather focus that energy on keeping the character personalities in check each chapter.

-Additionally currently also in college and use up a loo of my writing/proofreading energy with those essay assignments. Having extra help just to not feel overwhelmed in editing my fics would be incredible!

“This sounds fun! How do I let ya know I want to do this!”

Thanks for that convenient question! So if you think this could be a fun opportunity for ya I need you to copy this simple forum and fill it out in my DMs!

Plz do not do so on this post! I probably won’t see it!

1. What is your name and preferred pronouns!

2. What are some fandoms you’re into!

3. Are you 16+? (If not plz don’t apply. That’s just a personal online interaction thing my end.)

3. How frequently would you be able to do this per month(please understand I am down to accommodate whatever is too much on your end) Ex. Once a month, twice a month, ready generally the whole month but mot the first or last week)

4. What word count range are you comfortable acting as an Alpha Reader with the above listed specifics for?

And if you’re not thinking of Alphaing that’s fine!

Have a good day!

[parkers-gal]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHva3Te/

This could be so good with Tom. Imagine you’re shopping with the boys as well 🤍

stop 😭 😭 he’d get so flustered bye

( for those of u who don’t wanna watch the tiktok, it’s captioned “when your boyfriend wears sweats to target so you try to get him hard at every chance u get” )

(that being said, this is a warning for major boners & boner related talks, lol)

wc: 1.3k

—

A quick trip to the supermarket meant neither you nor Tom (or any of the other boys, for that matter) bothered with changing into appropriate clothes. You basically went in your pajamas — for you, that meant Tom’s hoodie and flannel pants. For Tom, however, that meant his favorite jumper, a beanie, and a sexy pair of grey sweatpants.

Tom sits beside you in the driver’s seat, once again debating with Harry if the house needs another set of ridiculous pots for the backyard garden. It’s been an ongoing debate of “we need fairy-themed ones!” to “the ones we have are perfectly fine!” You’re not sure if you should get involved at all.

A buzz in your pocket alerts you that someone must have texted you, so you pull your phone out. In a text, your friend had sent you a TikTok and added her own message.

aisha: this is so something u would do

Intrigued, you tap on the link. It successfully takes you to the app, and after impatiently waiting, you watch as the girl in the video teases her boyfriend in various places in the supermarket. You smirk to yourself, glancing up to make sure nobody else has managed to see what you’re viewing on your phone. Quickly, you save the video and text your friend back.

you: im so doing this. we’re heading to the store now. i’ll update with the vid soon.

Not a second later, she responds.

aisha: you’re evil.

aisha: and i envy you

The next ten minutes go by in a blur. You figure out how to format the video and, after brief bickering between Sam and Harrison about who gets to sit in the cart, the six of you pile into the store.

You head to the produce section first. (You’re not sure why. Every single time, you tell them the delicate vegetables should be piled on top of everything else, meaning you attend to this section of the store last. It seems like nobody else cares about squished tomatoes, though.)

The boys split up; Harry and Tuwaine team up on the broccoli section, managing to get the gross Brussel sprouts Tom loves more than you. Harrison goes off towards the fruits and Sam stays put in the cart.

Tom manages to take control of where the cart is going and he parks in front of the barrel of onions. Sam holds open the bag while Tom picks and chooses the ones he wants. Pondering how to go about this, you finally decide to just go for it.

“Don’t get that one,” you interject, stepping forward. “Get this one, and the one over there.”

Tom nods, not thinking much about the situation. You decide to keep moving forward, but instead of going around the cart, you squeeze yourself in between the shelves and Tom, successfully rubbing up against his crotch. Faintly, you hear his breath hitch, and after walking away, you quickly turn around to see Tom. You’ve ducked from his view, but he’s staring at where you just were, exhaling deeply and trying to maintain his composure.

You know this “look” better than anything. Quickly, you whip out your phone and begin recording the first part of your TikTok. You snicker to yourself, watching as Tom sets the bag of onions in the cart and quickly puts his hands in front of his crotch. You’re knee-deep in your own laughter when Harry and Tuwaine curiously come up to you.

Hastily, you shut your phone off and shove it in your pocket, standing up straight and acting as normal as possible.

“What was-”

“Nothing. Did you guys get the lettuce?”

“Yeah…” Harry trails off suspiciously. They decide to let it slide, and the three of you make your way back over to the cart.

“We done here?” Tuwaine asks. Murmured yes’s float around and the six of you leave the produce section and head off to the pharmacy section of the store.

“Do we need more toothpaste?”

“No, but we need more floss.”

“Ugh. Mouth stuff,” Harry groans.

You step closer to Tom, phone in hand, and you lean close to his ear. “Maybe we could do some mouth stuff later.” You whisper.

Tom’s eyes go wide and he looks at you in shock. You wear a proud smirk and grip your phone tighter, leaning close to him again and getting ready to record his reaction. “Y’know? Maybe I could suck your-”

“Stop it, Y/N,” he says firmly, eyeing you. You shrug in response, still wearing a proud smirk.

“What?” You say innocently.

Tom gets desperate and, after a few seconds, puts his hands on his knees for support — and paints it as if he’s leaning down to look for something on the shelf.

“Tom, mate, you good?” Harrison asks.

Tom looks up, exhales harshly, and nods. “Yep,” he stands, waddling off to another part of the aisle where you record, away from everyone else.

“What are you doing?” he whisper-shouts at you, still somewhat leaning on his knees.

“Nothing, daddy,” you say innocently. His eyes widen and he groans again, this time looking up at the ceiling in despair.

“Whatever game you two are playing, I really don’t want to be a part of it.” Harrison strides over.

“Yeah, you two have been acting weird all day. What’s up with that?” Sam asks.

You turn to Tom, teasingly clicking your tongue as a motivator for him to respond. “Yeah, Tommy. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he says through clenched teeth and a forced smile.

Harry rolls his eyes and moves the cart to the next aisle, the rest of the boys trailing behind him. You and Tom linger a little longer.

“What’s on your mind, Tommy?”

“Nothing,” he seethes, leaning over again to conceal any bulge that may be visible.

“Oh yeah,” you stroke his cheek with a giggle before running a hand through his curls. “What’s going through that big brain of yours?” He only eyes you, and you bite your lip. “Something dirty?” You whisper.

“Y/N,” he drags on, whining.

“What?”

“Why are you doing this to me?” He squeezes his eyes shut.

“What?” You whisper back. “It’s not my fault you’re thinking of fucking me.”

“Jesus Christ love,” he goes back into his leaning position. You giggle again, being another recording for your tiktok.

“Shouldn’t have worn sweats,” you say quietly. “Why did you wear sweats?”

“Because I’m stupid,” he groans an “ugh,” and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “I’m a div, that’s why.”

You chuckle again, “Yeah, you are.”

“You’re evil,” he looks up. “And you’re recording this! I can’t believe you.”

“What?” You tease. “Not my fault you’re hard.”

“Yes it is!” he gasps, locking eyes with you. “Is that why you’re teasing me? Is this another one of those tickey clock things?”

“What?” You laugh in bewilderment, looking at your boyfriend as if he’s crazy.

“You know what I mean! Those- those prank your boyfriend videos!”

“...Yes…”

“Y/N!”

“Sorry!” You exclaim with a smile. “It’s just fun to see you all flustered for me,” you run a hand through his hair, and he eventually stands straight, successfully calming himself down. “You good?”

“Mhm,” he nods at you, reaching for one of your hands.

“Good,” you smile with a glint he almost recognizes.

“What’re you-”

“Let’s go to the lube section.”

“Y/NNN!”