#shauna deciding not to go after jackie

[thunderon]

“I’m not brave any more, darling. I’m all broken. They’ve broken me.” - A Farewell to Arms

[her-canine-teeth]

bad astrology by flower face

[shaunamilfman]

after midnight

pairing: jackieshauna x reader summary: You get a little too drunk at a party and end up kissing Jackie Taylor, who you mistook for someone else. Just to make sure that Shauna isn't too mad at you, you kiss her too. note: yeah, based off that twitter post.

You focus all of your attention on the ceiling fan, watching as the blades blur together in an endless loop. You’re strangely mesmerized by the action, letting yourself be drawn into it in the hopes it’ll distract you from your pounding headache or the anxious feeling in your chest. The sound of Nat clattering around in the kitchen breaks your concentration, slowly drawing your attention back to reality.

With a pained groan, you finally drag yourself out of bed, stumbling to your bathroom knowing that at least one of the things bothering you had a simple solution. You blindly reach into the medicine cabinet, briefly glancing at the bottle before dry swallowing the pills that will be your salvation from your headache. 

You lean against the sink with a sigh of relief, looking at yourself in the mirror before quickly looking away. God, you looked like shit. 

A sudden realization dawns on you, a sinking feeling filling your stomach as you slowly look back at your reflection. You turn your head to the side, your eyes widening as you catch sight of the unmistakable traces of lipstick along your neck.

You fumble around for a rag, drawing Nat’s attention from the kitchen as you knock a few bottles off the counter.

“Hey?” she calls out, unaware of your turmoil as you scrub at your neck to get the mark off.

“Hey,” you answer, hesitant and unsure as you take one last look in the mirror before joining her in the kitchen.

She grins as she catches sight of you, a quick flick of her eyes up and down your disheveled form before she slides a cup of coffee across the counter towards you without a word. You’re quick to grab it, almost downing it in your haste to get something, anything, in your stomach. 

The memory of last night hangs over you like a fog, each moment shrouded in uncertainty and a lingering feeling that you’d fucked something up. If only you could remember it. You’d woken up with a bitter taste on your tongue, serving as a stark reminder of your excess from the night before. You knew better than to drink like that, knew it always got you in trouble, but you figured you just needed a little courage and then… 

Then everything fell apart.

You were surprised to find yourself still in one piece this morning, so you supposed it hadn’t been a complete disaster. The text you had woken up to did a lot to assuage your nerves, but it was the lipstick stain on your neck that had you sure that the night had actually gone well. You weren’t quite sure how you pulled it off, but you quickly decided a win was a win. 

Now your problem was just piecing together how the night ended.

“So?” Nat prompts, drawing your attention as you warm your hands on the quickly cooling cup. “How did it go?”

“Funny you ask that, actually,” you begin, the words tumbling out in a rush as you brace yourself for her reaction.

Nat groans, propping her head up on her hands as she looks you over. “What's that mean?” She sounds interested despite herself. 

“So I may or may not be dating Jackie and Shauna now.”

She's quiet for a long moment, her jaw dropped as she processes the news. “What the fuck? How?” she finally manages to sputter, her voice tinged with incredulity.

“So I got, like, really drunk last night–” 

“I remember,” Nat says wryly. 

“Right. Well, you know how me and that girl from my math class have had this thing going on–” 

“I'm not seeing what this has to do with Jackie and Shauna.”

“If you would just let me finish…”

…

You finish what's left in your cup before leaving it on the table, looking around for her familiar jacket before you find her. 

Bingo. You spot her off further in, her denim jacket and blonde hair catching the dim light. It seemed a little darker than usual, honestly, but you figured it was just the light. You take a deep breath and try to steady your shaking hands before just stuffing them in your pockets. Now or never.

This wasn’t the most well thought out idea, you knew that, but it was definitely the best one you had. Toss a few drinks back and get enough courage to finally kiss Jenny from your math class. Easy enough in theory, right? She told you to come find her at the party, practically insisted on it really, but you were still so fucking nervous at the thought of it. The thought of her smile, and the way she always looked at you in class, gave you just enough courage to push through the crowd to find her.

You call out her name as you weave through throngs of partygoers, but the music plays so loud you’re not sure if she can even hear you or not. As you reach her, you take a deep breath before putting your hand on her shoulder and spinning her around. Was she a little shorter than usual? Whatever. Before you can second guess yourself, you lean forward and kiss her.

She makes a squeaking noise as you do, her hands slapping against your shoulders as she pushes you away. You stumble backward and nearly fall on your ass, a little offended as you look at her. 

Jackie stares up at you with smeared lipstick and wide-eyes as the gravity of the situation slowly dawns on you. Oh God, that was Jackie Taylor. You just kissed Jackie Taylor and Shauna Shipman was going to kill you. You were too young to die.

That definitely wasn’t Jenny. You’d definitely had one too many if you thought that Jackie looked anything like the girl from your math class.

“What the fuck?” Shauna spits, her jaw clenched and her hands balled up in a fist. She grabs a fist full of your shirt, pulling you towards her as she gets up in your face. You can smell the alcohol on her breath as she gets near, a mix of malibu and rage.

You try to stutter out an apology, but the words keep catching in your throat. It feels like your tongue just won’t cooperate with you, leaving you defenseless in your time of need. Her grip on your shirt tightens, her knuckles turning white as she gives you the meanest look you’ve ever seen another person make that wasn’t a TV serial killer.

“Shauna–” Jackie tries, stepping forward and putting a hand on her arm, but Shauna’s too mad to even entertain her.

“Did you seriously just do that in front of me?” Shauna’s so mad she can barely speak, the disbelief on her face saying more than words ever could. Her eyes are so intense, a fire burning behind them that makes you wish you could disappear.

“You’re unbelievable.” Shauna’s voice is low and dangerous, and you can feel the heat of her anger radiating off her. You can’t think of any way to get out of this situation without getting burned.

Unless…

You make a split second decision as you lunge forward at Shauna. This was a fucking disaster, but man would you have one hell of a story if you could live to tell it.

… 

“... and that's when I realized that I just kissed Jackie Taylor.”

“Holy shit, dude!” Nat laughs, her expression an equal mix of pride and amusement. 

“God. I know,” you groan, burying your head in your hands as you flush in embarrassment. 

“So what happened next?”

“So Shauna's got a fistful of my shirt, right? I'm realizing that, holy shit, she's about to beat my ass. So I do the only thing I can do.”

“What's that?

“Well…” 

… 

You lunge forward and kiss Shauna too, catching her by surprise. She’s frozen solid as you press your lips together, and for an instant you think she’s just going to punch you anyway. Shauna’s hand releases your shirt in surprise, her hands flailing for a moment before reaching up and resting on the side of your head. 

You’d read in a Wikipedia article once during a time of late-night procrastinating that it was virtually impossible for a human to snap someone else’s neck, but if anyone was capable of that, it would definitely be Shauna Shipman. Much to your surprise, you don’t end up dead on the floor; instead, her surprisingly soft hands cup your face with more gentleness than you thought she was capable of.

It’s nothing like the quick kiss you’d shared with Jackie; she’s aggressive and intense. Every movement is met with a swift reaction, as if she takes it as a challenge. Her lips are soft and taste like strawberry lip-gloss and you idly wonder whether it belonged to her or Jackie originally.

She bites at your lip hard as the kiss ends, enough that you’re sure she’s broken the skin. You can feel the sting of it long after she’s backed away, sharing a look with Jackie that you’re too much in shock to pay attention to. You’re left reeling, trying to process the rapid turn of events even though you’d been mostly responsible for them.

You manage to sneak a glance at Shauna, figuring that at least you would see it coming when she inevitably broke your nose. She gives you a dark look, and it’s hard to tell whether she’s flustered or angry.

“Shauna,” Jackie chides. “You don’t have to be so rough with her. She’s not going anywhere.” 

Shauna’s tense posture relaxes slightly at Jackie’s words, but not fully. They seem to have a conversation with nothing but their expressions, something that you weren’t fully privy to. 

Without a word spoken to you, Jackie steps forward and kisses you again. It’s better this time, more deliberate than the quick peck you’d managed before. It felt reassuring, a tenderness that your kiss with Shauna was sorely lacking. Her arms come up to rest behind your shoulders, pulling you chest-to-chest as she kisses you so gently you almost want to cry.

You can practically feel the weight of Shauna’s eyes on you, but it doesn’t seem nearly as heavy as it did before: less threatening, and more curiosity. Her gaze is unwavering as she assesses the situation, stepping closer toward you and leaving you caught between the two of them as your mind races.

Jackie breaks the kiss slowly, giggling as she has to press a hand against your shoulder to stop you from trying to chase after her. She’s close enough that your breath is mingling together, pulling just far away enough to speak as she gives Shauna a knowing look. “See? It doesn’t have to be a fight every time.”

“She’s okay, isn’t she?” Shauna asks, the question posed more as a challenge than any real attempt at concern. Her eyes search yours, trying to find out what you’re thinking without having to actually ask. You nod slightly, giving her the permission she seems to seek. She’s just as formidable as ever, but this time her approach is slower. More deliberate.

“Yeah,” you mutter simply, nodding dumbly as Jackie tuts and pulls your attention back on her with a single finger on your chin.

Shauna huffs, finally closing the distance between you as she presses up against your back. “Good,” she whispers, her lips brushing your ear as she speaks.

Jackie rests her hand behind your neck as she pulls you into another kiss, somehow more demanding than the last. You can’t help but melt into it, immediately responding to the touch. Shauna laughs softly behind you, pressing a kiss against Jackie’s fingers before she finds her way to the side of your neck.

The two of them together are intense, overwhelming in a way that leaves you utterly breathless and lagging a half-second behind. It’s almost too much, but you can’t bring yourself to pull away for anything.

Shauna bites down gently, just enough to leave a mark. You gasp, the sound swallowed by Jackie’s lips. 

“Relax,” Jackie murmurs.

Then everything after that is a blur.

… 

“... I kissed Shauna too.”

Nat laughs so hard she nearly falls out of her chair. She manages to get out a few words in between peels of near hysterical laughter. “You kissed Shauna? Are you insane?” 

“Honestly, probably. I certainly felt like it at the time, Nat. But here’s the crazy part: she freezes, and for a second it’s like time stops, but then she kisses me back!”

“No fucking way Shauna Shipman kissed you.”

“Look, I know! That’s what I was thinking too,” You snicker, shaking your head. “So there I am, kissing Shauna and waiting for her to come to my senses with Jackie’s lipstick still on my lips. But then I pull back and see Jackie standing there just staring with this look of… I don’t know, I can’t even name it.”

“And?”

“So, Jackie says something to Shauna that I couldn’t quite make out and they just kind of nodded and before I knew it, Jackie was all over me too.”

Nat’s jaw drops as she leans forward to look at you. “Jackie too?”

“Jackie too,” you confirm. “Yeah, but it gets weirder. See, Jackie pulls away to look at Shauna again and there’s this moment where I’m like ‘Well, now they’re going to kill me together.’ But then they both just kind of smile at me?”

Nat breathes out slowly, eyes wide with shock. “What does that even mean?”

“I have no idea. I know something must have happened after that, but it’s all blurry after that. All the booze caught up to me.”

“What makes you think you’re dating them, then? It seems like you just got a lucky break that Shauna wasn’t close enough to a knife to stab your dumb ass.”

“See, that’s what I would think to,” you say, pulling out your phone as you scroll through your messages. “But I woke up this morning to a text in a group chat all like ‘hope you get home safe, babe.’” 

You hold the phone up for Nat to see, and she quickly snatches it from you as she looks through it. Her eyes scan the screen, her disbelief slowly turning into astonishment.

“Holy shit,” she mutters, slowly scrolling through the chat. “They both texted you. Jackie even sent you a selfie of her and Shauna together with a ‘we missed you at breakfast’ caption.”

“What?” You ask, leaning forward to read over Nat’s shoulder. That one was new– you must’ve gotten it while you were talking to Nat.

“I don’t even remember leaving?” You mutter.

“This is unreal,” Nat says, handing you your phone back as she lazes back in the chair. “You better figure your shit out before Jackie gets her feelings hurt.”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “No kidding.”

You bite your lip before quietly admitting, “I kind of like it.”

Nat snorts, shaking her head slowly.

[soffsh2]

What Once Was

Plot Summary: After Jackie left you for Jeff in your teen years, you’ve done all you could to avoid running into her. You decide to go to your high school’s 25 year reunion once you hear that Jackie wasn’t going to attend. How were you to know she’d show up anyway.

1996

Jackie had been acting strange for the last few days. In fact, it felt like she had been pulling away from you since graduation. You’d gotten to the point where you had to call her friends to see if she was acting as odd with them as she was with you. Though none of them had an answer for you, she was acting the same with everybody else. Only things with you were different.

Earlier in the day, you had called Shauna, telling her that you were going to go talk to Jackie and finally see what was wrong. You had given her time to come to you and explain the reason for how she was acting, but she wouldn’t budge. And the longer it went on, the quieter Jackie became. It almost seemed like she was avoiding you, but she wouldn’t do that to her girlfriend. You were positive that you just needed to assure her that you would both do fine with long distance. 

You drove over to the Taylor’s house and found an unfamiliar truck parked where you usually do. Walking up to the house, you could hear the sounds of voices through the open windows. You knock on the front door, expecting Jackie or either of her parents to open it up. You were certainly not expecting the door to open and have you face-to-face with Jeff Sadecki.

He groaned, speaking as he retreated further into your girlfriend's house. “Jackie, can you not have your friends come visit when we’re on a date?” Pfff, a date? Jackie’s parents are probably trying to set them up again. That poor, delusional asshole, you thought. Jackie bounced cheerfully to the door until she saw you standing there. Her face quickly changed, and she hurriedly pushed you outside, closing the door behind you both.

You always thought Jackie’s parents suspected you and her, but you never thought they’d go this far. "Wow, your parents have hit a new low. I mean, setting you up on a date with Jeff Sadecki? Jesus.” You laughed for a second, until you realized Jackie wasn’t laughing with you. Actually, she had the most sympathetic look on her face that she’s ever directed at you. Immediate concern filled your body. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Y/n. My parents didn’t set this up; I did.” Your face dropped instantly. “Jax, what? What’re you talking about?” She tried to hold your hands when she explained herself to you, but you immediately shook yourself out of her grasp. “Y/n… I can’t do this. I can’t be that way. It’s not natural.” You didn’t believe the words that she was saying. Two weeks ago, she was happily in love with you, telling you and every one of her teammates as much. And now, this? 

“Jackie, woah, where is this coming from? You felt your throat start to close up. Jackie was slowly trying to move you further from the door, afraid that her parents or Jeff would hear you.

“Please don’t make this more difficult for me than it already is. I don’t want to hurt you; I just can't be like that with you anymore.” She was trying not to make her words sound as harsh as they were, and she was failing horrendously at it. The more she spoke, the more you teared up. Seeing that seemed to send her into even more of a panic as she continued talking. “I don’t like women. I’m meant to be with someone like Jeff. It just makes sense.” She tried to rationalize.

She was about to say more when you heard Jeff’s voice call from inside. “Babe! Get back in here; you’re gonna miss the highlights of my game!” She tried not to look too unhappy before she returned her gaze to you. You could see her face falter when she looked at you, standing on her doorstep crying because of what she did. Whatever sliver of her that felt bad for her actions was swiftly hidden away as she opened her front door once again. She looked at you with a stoic face and sad eyes when she said her last words to you. “Goodbye Y/n.”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks on the drive home. It felt like you were living in a fucking nightmare. It certainly didn’t feel real. Some part of you couldn’t blame her, you had known the pressure her parents put on her. She always seemed like she carried the world on her shoulders, but those were expectations she put on herself. Upon getting home, you immediately ran upstairs and fell into your bed.

You were only home for a few minutes when you got a call on your landline. You wanted to ignore it, but a part of you hoped that it was Jackie calling to tell you it was all a bad joke and she was sorry. You quickly answered. “Hello? Jackie?” Your tone was hopeful, bordering on desperate. “Uh, no?” A different voice fills your ears.

“Oh hi, Shauna.” You couldn't hide the disappointment that laced through your voice when you realized that Jackie wasn’t going to call. “I was just calling to see if you were home already, but I didn’t expect you to be home this soon. What happened at Jackie’s—” The mention of Jackie's name made you breakdown. “Shauna,… she left me.” The other end of the line went quiet before Shauna recovered from her surprise. “She what? No. She wouldn't.” Her voice sounded distant, and she sounded as confused as you felt. “She did. She dumped me for Jeff fucking Sadecki.” 

The fact that anyone would view Jeff as an upgrade was comical to Shauna, but she had to stifle her laugh when she heard you speak again. “Is it really that big of an issue for her to love me?” All the emotion was drained from your voice. It made Shauna uncomfortable to hear you like that. “Hold on, I’m coming over.”

Shauna made it to your house in record time. You both just sat in her car as you explained everything through sniffles. For a while, she was waiting for Jackie to pop out and say it was a prank, but no such relief came. She brought no words of comfort for you, Shauna was never good at pep talks. In fact, she would say that the only thing she was good at was brooding. However, she never left you to handle your sadness alone.

If it weren’t for Shauna showing up for you that summer, you weren’t sure how you would have fared. She had become your rock and did everything with you. You were close enough while you were dating her best friend, but this just felt different. There was not a thing you’d do that she wasn’t asking to accompany you with. Good thing too; she would always spot when Jackie and Jeff were nearby before you could see the pair. 

She’d saved you a lot of grief for the rest of the summer before you finally got peace when Jackie left for college. No more worrying about bumping into her at your favorite Deli that she’d loved. No possibility of running into her while she was on a date with Jeff. It was a start for everything to become easier for you. A couple weeks had passed, and you were finally feeling okay. You had even begun to forget the reason for your new-found friendship with Shauna.

It was at a coffee shop, about a week before Shauna was to leave for Brown, that it happened. You sat together on the patio of the café, laughing at something that Mari had told her earlier. Shauna’s mother had gotten her a brand new flip phone to go away to college with. She left it on the table after showcasing it to you. All of a sudden, the little thing lights up and rings. You look down and see her name plainly displayed on the screen. Everything came back to you then. You were reminded of the girl who made all of this happen. Shauna looked at the phone, saw the name that flashed on the tiny screen, and excused herself. She was not nearly far enough that you couldn’t hear her whisper yelling at Jackie. Discussing Jackie’s latest argument with Jeff and deflecting every time Jackie asked who Shauna was with, that she had to whisper. 

Beyond the reminder of Jackie that day, you had the daunting realization that you couldn’t continue your friendship with Shauna. It was wrong of you to take away and monopolize the time of your ex-girlfriend's best friend. Moreover, realizing you’d have to coexist alongside Jackie still being in Shauna’s life and possibly encountering her in one way or another was enough to make your decision final. After Shauna went to University, you’d stop talking to her.

When Shauna left, she had given you her mailbox number and the number of her new phone, so you could call and write to her often. She left with a smile and yelled at you to promise that you’d call before the end of her first week at Brown. You just smiled at her as her mother drove her away, waving goodbye to her until the old station wagon disappeared from view. 

 

2021

The years drifted by quickly as you tried to forget all about Jackie Taylor and the rest of your old friends in Wiskayok. You were glad to have gone to a college far enough from your hometown, it made it easier to stay there and disappear from everyone. You had tried dating afterwards, but everything seemed so dull in comparison. The feeling of having her love you was something indescribable. To have a random person fill the place that you always thought would belong to Jackie just didn’t feel right. You told yourself you enjoyed the solitude. Convinced yourself that it was your own choice rather than a decision made without your blessings.

You were intent on keeping it that way too, trying not to remember any people from home. But that’s when you got the call. “Hey Y/n, it's Misty, Misty Quigley from high school.” You’re not sure you ever gave Misty your number, so you wonder how she has it now. "Yeah, hi Misty, I remember. How’ve you been?” You say unenthused; you didn’t actually care to know. “Doing good; I’m an attendant at a nursing home. So I’m living the dream! But… I’d be doing better if you came to the reunion this year.” 

The words were like a punch to the face. “Misty no—” She’s quick to cut you off. “Come on, Y/n, nobody has seen or heard from you in years; some people probably think you’re dead at this point.” She was practically begging over the phone. “And I am fine to keep it that way, happy even.” You attempt to shut it down again. “Y/n…please. The girls miss you.” That tugged on your heart a little. “Misty, really, I can’t—” She cuts you off yet again with her best argument all evening. “Jackie won’t be there.”

You were well aware that Jackie never misses the opportunity to go to the reunions, and thus you avoided going at all costs. It’s only when Misty sighs and tells you that Jackie cannot attend this year because of some furniture convention in Philadelphia that Jeff was dragging her to that you begrudgingly agreed to go. You hadn’t kept up with your old friends and teammates, just to avoid ever running into Jackie. You rationalized that it’d be nice to see them again with no fear of running into her. And this opportunity probably won’t come again for another 25 years, so you figured you might as well. So you reply to the Facebook invitation that you’ll be attending and prepared yourself.

The day of the reunion approached faster and faster until you found yourself sitting in your car in the parking lot of your old high school, fidgeting with your dress shirt. Practically doing all that you could to stall actually going inside. The whole place reminded you of Jackie. It made you nearly sick to your stomach. All the hurt caused by her leaving you, which despite it all, was still fresh in your mind. The longer you sat, the more anxious you became. Finally, looking down at your phone and seeing the time prompted you to reach for the door handle and get out. 

Walking through the doors of Wiskayok High, you had expected it to look different, to have been updated at all in the 25 years since your graduation. But no, it's still the same ratty old hallway in the same broken-down school that you remembered. It brought a slight sense of comfort, knowing that you could likely still navigate your way through the entire high school campus without issue.

Approaching the big, blue and yellow decorated doors, the only thing that separated you from people you hadn’t seen in 20+ years, you felt nauseous. You had to keep telling yourself that Jackie wasn’t here to keep your anxiety at bay. So, with a deep breath, you pushed open the large metal doors. It was decorated as well as a high school gym could be, you supposed. A lot of lights strung up with blue and yellow balloons set on each table. 

Right as you enter, you see Misty standing by the photographer and his props. The sound of the closing door can barely be heard over the music playing throughout the gymnasium; however, she could still sense it and turn to see you. The sight brings a large smile to her face as she runs over to lead you to the table with all the other girls. 

As you approach a large round table, you could start to make out the familiar faces of your old friends. Their conversation dies down when Natalie notices you, getting up to greet you. “Holy shit…when Misty told us you were coming, we all just thought she was full of it.” You laugh nervously. You still feel tense from being around people you used to know so well but now felt like strangers. “Well, here I am.” 

You turn around. “Tai, congratulations on the campaign.” Taissa smiles at you before speaking. “Thank you, Y/n… You look great.” She says it so genuinely. You'd guess that when people haven't seen you in years, they can only assume the worst.

Before you could respond, you’re wrapped in a hug by Shauna, much unlike the moody teen you once knew. “Hey Shipman.” You said as you wrapped your arms around her. You embrace her for a moment before she pulls away and punches you in the arm. Now that’s more like the Shauna Shipman you knew. “You stopped responding to me! Don’t ever do that again; I’ve missed seeing you. I really thought that I would never hear from you again.” 

As you gently hold the spot where Shauna laid into your arm, you try to explain yourself. "Shauna, come on, you know I couldn’t keep in touch after everything with...” You gestured to an empty space next to Shauna that, when you were younger, would always be filled by Jackie. Her demeanor changed, and the others went quiet around you as well. 

“You know it never sat right with me, what she did.” She defends. “I know, but she needed you. I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.” She looks at you with sad brown eyes. “You still needed me too.” You shrug. “I wasn’t going to ask you to choose me over your best friend.” Shauna opens her mouth to respond before Taissa grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to sit in one of the chairs. “You guys can talk later; we need to hear about what’s been going on in the past 20 years.”

The tension melted away quickly, and you felt as if you'd picked up right where you left off with them. Everyone tells you about what they’ve been up to. You’re most surprised that Shauna has a daughter now. She hit you again when you told her that she never struck you as the nurturing type. It felt so light and perfect, you knew something had to go wrong.

The metal doors have been opening and closing all night, with people going in and out of the gym. So, of course, you paid it no mind when the metal clicked open and shut once more. You were far too intrigued to hear about Natalie’s latest rehab stint to notice the approaching figure until it was too late.

“Hi guys!” A cheery voice breaks through the crowd. You felt like a deer caught in headlights. You didn’t need to look at her to know who it was. You were frozen, all you could hear were some nervous greetings from around the table. By the tense tone in the girls' voices, it seemed they wanted to be swallowed by the ground just as much as you did. 

You watched her gaze flit to every person before landing on you. “Hi Y/n.” Her smile shone as brightly as you remember it. If you hadn’t known her like you did, you would’ve assumed she was being fake with you. “Hey Jackie.” Your voice low as you tried to avoid her eyes and take a sip of your drink. Shauna laid her hand on your arm and squeezed reassuringly; the action was not lost on Jackie. You watched her eyes focus on the action, her face hiding a barely contained scowl now. She was about to speak again when Misty spoke up.

You thank every higher power in the sky, as it made Jackie face Misty instead of you. Her green eyes felt like they were burning into your skin the longer she stared. “You said you weren’t coming. The convention?” Misty looked like she felt guilty for putting you in this position. You would’ve thought it was a trap, but you knew Jackie. "Oh, didn’t you get my email? Last week, Jeff decided that he wanted to go alone. So I emailed you, saying that I would be attending after all.” 

Jackie was never great at lying. It may not have been obvious to the others, but to you and Shauna, you could read Jackie like a book. You turned to Shauna with a suspicious look, and her face mirrored your own. Misty gave her a confused look. “You didn’t email me.” Jackie feigned surprise. "Oh, silly me, I must’ve written it up but never sent it.” She turned to the table with a ‘what can you do’ expression and a shrug as she moved to sit down. She took the open chair directly across from you. God, it’d be hard to avoid eye contact with her now.

"So, Y/n I haven't heard from you in ages; are you married?” Jackie never had tact when she wanted something, but the sheer audacity to ask stunned you. Everyone else seemed to have the same sentiment as you because the girls all avoided eye contact. Shauna tried to scold Jackie, but that only encouraged her to persist further with you. To cease the girls bickering, you gave her an answer. “Uh, no, Jackie. I’m not.” She tried to push a small smile from her face when she responded. “Oh, really? That’s too bad.” 

At that, Taissa pushed herself from the table, stating that she was going to go get a plate of something to eat. Natalie and Misty both followed her, seeming to find the encounter too awkward to bear. “So, why aren’t you on Facebook?” Jackie continued to pry. 

“I am; I just have a few people blocked.” You didn’t leave anything up for interpretation with your tone. Shauna laughed beside you. She seemed to have read the hint immediately, while Jackie was still catching up. You knew, however, exactly when she figured it out because she instantly pouted. The slight against her did nothing to dissuade her efforts, though. She was as persistent as ever; you could give her that much.

"So, to be clear, you’re not dating anyone? Right?” That was the last straw. You got up from the table, stating that you were going to find the food Tai was referring to. As you left the table, you could hear Shauna chastise Jackie quietly. You couldn’t make out much, but you did hear the distinct sound of Jackie complaining before you were out of earshot. “What Shauna? It’s not like I could check on her Facebook.”

You stayed by the buffet table for a few minutes, making idle chatter with whoever recognized you. Anything to avoid being stuck with Jackie at the table. However, it didn't take long for her to grow bored and go searching for you. She appeared out of nowhere; it almost startled you. It was as if one second you were alone, and the next she was beside you, already opening her mouth to yap.

“Crazy bumping into you. Now that I have you here, you never answered that question back there.” You rolled your eyes and did your best to ignore her. "Oh, come on, Y/n. You never come to these; I just wanna catch up!” You had about had it. Turning to face her completely, you drop the niceties.

“Cut the shit Jackie, you and I both know you’re lying. Why are you really here?” Jackie stands there a little stunned; you’d never snapped like that at her while you were dating. "I, uh… well, I saw that you responded to the Facebook invite and that you were coming. And I just wanted to see you and maybe talk to you.” You don’t have the energy for her right now. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jackie. I don’t want explanations or apologies. Just leave me alone.” You turned and walked back to the table where Shauna was seated alone. 

You sighed as you sat down next to her, with your head in your hands. Shauna leaned over and rubbed your back. She was doing her best to give you some semblance of comfort. She knew this was a lot for you; she didn’t have to say it. It was painfully obvious and awkward enough to send your other three friends running to interact with literally anyone else. When you brought your head back up, you could see Jackie staring at the two of you. She looked so insecure as she stood right where you left her. Shifting uncomfortably on her feet, she looked like a kicked puppy. You laid your head in your hands again and groaned. 

“I don’t know what to do, Shauna; she won’t stop with me.” Your voice came out muffled from your hands. You could hear Shauna sigh next to you, and her hand dropped from your back. "Yeah, she was never great with the word ‘no'.” She laughed. You huffed out a small laugh as well. 

You heard a click of heels on the gym floor coming at you and looked up. You saw Jackie marching over to the table with renewed vigor. She stood directly at your side and placed her hands on her hips when she addressed you. “Y/n I really think we should talk about what happened.” She said it in the exact tone that she would always do when you were teenagers. The same tone that got you to straighten up and do exactly what she said. 

You were getting so frustrated with her. You’d just wanted a moment of peace away from her, and she couldn’t seem to respect that. Fuck it. You stood, turned to Shauna, and offered her your hand. “You wanna dance?” A look of surprise crossed her face, but upon seeing your expression of determination, she smiled and delicately placed her hand in yours. “I’d love to.” She rose from her seat, and you led her to the dance floor, leaving Jackie with a look of utter shock as you brushed past her.

You enjoyed your time with Shauna, laughing together as you moved around the dance floor. Every now and then, when you spun her, you’d get a look behind her at the table. The table where you’d see Jackie sitting alone, miserably gazing at you and her best friend dancing. Jackie was downing her drinks quickly. She’d kept pouring herself more drinks from the punch bowl to drown her sorrows. The punch bowl that sat in the middle of the table, the one that Natalie had definitely spiked earlier in the night. You tried to not let the image of Jackie sitting sad and alone because of your actions burn itself into your brain.

“I know what you’re doing.” Shauna’s voice made you shift your gaze away from Jackie. “Huh?” You attempted to play dumb. She rolled her eyes. “If you’re trying to get a reaction out of her, you’re doing a good job.” You straightened up, and Shauna gave you a look like she knew she’d nailed exactly what you were up to. “I think that Jackie brought this onto herself.” You deflected. Shauna shrugged before smirking at you. "Oh, she definitely did.” She leaned in closer and whispered in your ear. “But next time, let me know, and I can help you drive her up a wall.” You can’t fight the grin that took over your face. You spun her again as you spoke. "Well, she always did seem to get a little jealous when it came to us, Shippy.”

An hour had passed while you continued to dance with Shauna until a brash voice broke you both apart. “Sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds.” You and Shauna turned to Nat, with a visibly drunk Jackie being dragged behind her. “‘Lovebirds?’” Jackie questioned with a pout. “Jesus.” You muttered as they got closer. 

Nat all but tossed Jackie into Shauna, and Jackie instantly melted into the form of her best friend. “She’s a mess. She needs to go home.” Jackie attempted to mumble something in protest, but it was muffled with her face in Shauna's shoulder. Natalie looked at Shauna expectantly. "Oh, I didn’t drive here; Callie dropped me off. And she hasn’t answered any of my texts, so I think she’s asleep.” Then both Shauna and Nat looked to you.

"Oh, come on.” You immediately protested. “I’m sorry, Y/n. You drove here and you barely had anything to drink; it’s the safest option.” Shauna being against you for this argument felt like a small betrayal to you. Shauna was right, and you didn't necessarily want anything bad to happen to anyone on their ride home. But that didn't mean you should have to be the one to take her home. “No, you know how I feel about her.” Jackie lifted her head and body from Shauna to complain. “Hey, I’m right here.” Natalie halfheartedly pushed her back into Shauna, and Jackie fell right back into her place on Shauna.

“No Shauna.” You tried to say it in a tone that left no room for debate, but of course Shauna persisted. “Y/n please? I’ll even go too. You’d actually be doing me a favor since I need a ride.” You were about to object further; tell her ‘no way’ when you looked at Jackie. She hadn’t stopped staring since she was brought over. Her eyes were so sad, and her leaning up against Shauna like she had no legs of her own made her look utterly helpless. You couldn’t fight the soft spot you still had for her, and when you looked at Shauna, it just solidified it more. You knew you weren’t going to be on the winning side of this argument. “Fine… FINE. I’ll do it.” Shauna, who you’re sure would’ve reached out and squeezed your hand if it hadn’t been holding Jackie’s form upright, mouthed a thank you. 

You gathered your things and led Shauna, who was still supporting her best friend, to your car. As soon as you went to unlock the back door for Shauna to slide Jackie into, Jackie found enough drunken athleticism to slide over to the passenger's side door. You looked warily at Shauna, who halfheartedly tried to bring Jackie to the backseat. As soon as Jackie started whining about how she didn’t want to sit in the back, Shauna conceded and got into your back seat instead. You rolled your eyes. You really didn’t want to be stuck up front with Jackie, but it seemed you had no choice. You took a deep breath before getting into your seat and pulling out of the parking spot.

The ride was quiet; for the most part, you and Shauna occasionally spoke and reminisced about things you did together that last summer before college. You almost forgot about Jackie sitting silently in the passenger's seat, or you would have if she wasn’t staring at you and Shauna as you spoke fondly about times that didn’t include her. You were about to turn to head towards Jackie’s house when Shauna spoke up.

“Y/n, I hate to do this to you, but is there any way you can drop me off first?” You gave her a look in the rear view mirror that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’ Shauna looked at you sympathetically. You knew she didn’t want to do this to you on purpose. “I know, I’m sorry. I just need to make sure Callie’s alright; I haven’t left her alone this long since before her dad left.” You roll your eyes but adjust to head towards Shauna’s house. 

When you pulled up to Shauna’s house, you could see there was a light on upstairs. Shauna sighs and mutters something under her breath about Callie being up at this hour and not texting her back. She scooted over and wrapped her arms around Jackie from behind the seat. "Night, Jax, see you soon.” She then got out and walked over to your door, then waited outside it for a moment with an expectant look on her face. “Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?” You smiled at the sentiment and got out, leaving the car door open, before you walked Shauna up to her porch. She enveloped you in a hug before you could utter a word of farewell. 

She pulled back before speaking. “You are not allowed to not talk to me for more than a week, ever again. You hear me?” You laughed. “I’m serious, Y/n.” Shauna continued. “I promise I'll keep in touch, Shauna.” You said, genuinely. “You better.” She leaves you with a lingering kiss on your cheek before heading inside. When you turned to walk back to your car, you saw that Jackie watched the entire interaction. She had such a sad look on her face when you walked back, you felt like you were caught doing something that you weren't supposed to.

After you got back into the car, there was only a beat of silence before Jackie spoke up. “So you’re not, like… in love with Shauna now, right?” There was a hesitance in her voice; all her insecurity was laced into that one question. “What? Jackie, that's—” You tried, but she cut you off. “Cause I hope she likes my sloppy seconds.” She had rolled down the window to scream the sentiment out towards Shauna’s house, as if Shauna would hear her behind the closed door. You hastily pulled her back in, scrambling a little. You were very aware of how much noise Jackie was making at such a late hour; however, Jackie wasn’t while she was in her drunken state. “Jesus Jackie, shhhh. What’s wrong with you?” Jackie sat back in the passenger's seat with a pout and folded her arms. “I just don’t appreciate the way she’s been acting with you.” 

“You don’t get to feel any way about how anyone acts with me. You lost that right a long time ago. Now let’s just go home, please.” Jackie lays her head back against the headrest and closes her eyes as she protests. “Noooooo.” How did you used to put up with her whining daily? This was exhausting. "No, seriously, Jackie. We have to go; it’s late, and I want to go to bed.” She continued drunkenly complaining. “I don’t wannaaaa.” You were desperate to not be alone with her anymore, so you tried to say something that would make her relent.

“Jackie, please, you have to go home. Jeff will be worried about you.” She shook her head against the window, practically falling asleep in your passenger's seat. You sighed. Of course, she was being stubborn with you. Twenty-five years of not talking, and she still acted the same. “What do you mean? Yes, he will.” You wouldn’t know; you don’t know how Jeff is, but it hurt more the longer that you stayed around Jackie, and you just needed to get away from her. She only laughed humorlessly at your comment as she slumped further into the seat. “Nuh-uh… Me and Jeff aren’t together anymore.” 

The confession hit you like a ton of bricks, so much so that it left you speechless for a moment. “What? Are you serious?” She nodded, her eyes still closed. “Mhmm.” You had a million things that you wanted to ask—how, why—but the only thing that left your mouth was, “Do the others know?” 

Only at this did her eyes slowly open, and she just stared vacantly down the dark street. “Nope.” Popping the ‘p’ when she said it. “Why?” She still refused to make eye contact with you when she answered. “The girls would just yell at me… Tell me that I hurt you for nothing. And I did; I know that. I don't have to have them tell me that I ruined the only good thing I’ve ever had when I left you.” You sat in silence for a beat, looking down at the steering wheel, as you tried desperately to process all that she said. 

You turned back to face her when she continued speaking, finding her already looking at you for the first time during the whole conversation. “I’m sorry, by the way. For what I did. I really wish I was a better person for you; you deserved it.” Her eyes were illuminated by the glow of the street lights, showing that she was tearing up.

A younger version of yourself would have hopped over the center console to hug her the second you saw her anywhere close to crying. The most that the current you could muster was to break the intense eye contact and utter a half-hearted "Yeah, well… we can’t change the past.” There was a pause in conversation; the air was tense now that Jackie had aired out all her dirty laundry. Her voice was low as she resumed speaking. “I wish I wasn’t afraid of what would’ve happened with us. Maybe I’d be happy now. We probably would’ve had a good life.” You put the car in drive, as you replied. “Yeah, maybe.”

You drive to Jackie’s childhood home, having memorized its path from every corner of Wiskayok. You wanted to ask so much more, but debated whether it would upset her. Jackie, who seemed almost sober now, is slumped against the passenger door, looking out the window. She spoke, but you were too lost in thought to hear it. “I’m sorry, what was that?” She sighed. “I said, I know you. You obviously want to ask something. Go ahead; it won’t make me sad.” Her bluntness caught you by surprise, but then again, what about her didn’t nowadays? 

“Well, how long has it been?” You don’t need to say what the question was pertaining to for Jackie to know what you meant. It’s a bittersweet feeling to know that, despite everything, she could still read you and know what you were thinking so well. She took a deep breath before she answered. “Almost a year now. It's why I wasn’t going to come this year; I couldn't face anyone. Not when I haven’t worked up the courage to tell them.” You nodded along as you continued driving. “Was there a reason?” She hesitated and turned to face you before she answered.

“Yeah, I just never could get over you. I still haven't, and I don’t think I ever will.” She said it so candidly that you were hoping you didn’t hear her correctly. You wanted to ignore the mixed feelings bubbling into your stomach, because now all of what she said the whole night was more than just high school nostalgia. More than simple ‘What if’ scenarios, and more than hints for you to read into. That was an admission, and you were so upset that that realization happened this late in her life. Now she had you thinking that you actually could have been happy together this whole time. You were so caught up that you almost flew past Jackie’s house.

You don’t say anything as you break and put the car in park. You kept looking at the steering wheel while Jackie tried desperately to meet your eyes, silently pleading for you to say something. All that you could think was that it was all for nothing. You were mostly afraid it was still the alcohol talking. You didn't want to get your hopes up for something that was only going to be true for as long as the booze was in her system.

“I think you should leave.” Jackie’s face dropped at your reaction, and almost immediately tears started to roll down her cheeks. “What? Y/n, no.” You still avoided her eyes. “Please, this isn't a conversation I want to have after you’ve been drinking. It’s best that you go inside.” At that, she braced herself in your car. “I’ve sobered up; please, can we talk about this?” She begged.

“Jackie, you have to get out of the car.” It took the last shred of your will to try to turn her away one more time. Jackie’s voice was hoarse as she yelled back at you. "No, I can’t. I can’t leave because if I get out, then I’ll never see you again, and it’s all my fault.” She was beyond being consoled by words. She was sobbing so much, you felt awful for upsetting her. Up until that point, you were doing your best not to get sucked in, but how could you deny her? 

“Okay, okay.” You relented. You got out of the car, and for a moment, Jackie had a look of panic on her face, seeming ready to chase after you if you left her. You got to the passenger’s door, and as soon as you opened the door, Jackie grabbed onto you and held you in a hug. You mustered up the calmest voice that you could when you spoke next. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into your shoulder, mumbling, “Please don’t leave.” over and over.

“Please, can you stay tonight? Can we just go inside and pretend that I didn’t mess it all up?” She sniffled into your shirt. You nodded, slowly rubbing her back while you tried to soothe her. When you were younger, you’d dreamt about this scenario and getting to tell Jackie ‘no.’ But that didn’t happen. Truth be told, you don’t think it took more than a second of thought. "Yeah, we can do that, Jax.”

Once she had calmed down, you gradually began to let her go while whispering gently for her to go inside. She grabs your hand as she guides you through a house that was once so familiar to you. Jackie had moved and changed some things around, but it still looked relatively the same.

She pulled you toward her old childhood bedroom. Something about it felt so different. But not much was changed aside from her replacing the pink carpeting with a gray color. It felt almost like a betrayal to change something that was once so sacred to you both. An escape from her parents, a place where you could kiss her safely. It all felt foreign, even if it was the same room you had snuck into countless times just to fall asleep together. Jackie had always hated sleeping alone. You guessed that never changed based on the situation you found yourself in now.

Your musings were interrupted by Jackie tapping your arm. You turned and found Jackie with an embarrassed look on her face. She faced away and showed that she was struggling to fully unzip her dress from the evening. You rolled your eyes as she held her hair up with one hand, assuring it wouldn’t be in the way. Gently holding her shoulder with one hand, you slowly pulled the zipper down with the other. As her dress was being undone, more and more of her back was being exposed to you. It was intimate; she knew it. She could still read you like the back of her hand, so she knew exactly what she was doing.

Once the dress was fully unzipped, your hand slowly dropped from her shoulder, softly tracing Jackie’s skin in its descent. She turned and looked right into your eyes. She didn’t break eye contact with you when she reached up and looped her arms around your neck. As if it were second nature, you placed your hands on her waist. “I’ve really missed you.” She spoke in a whispered tone, as if there were any other people around to hear you. The only time her eyes left yours was to glance at your lips. Her intentions were obvious, and you were never that strong-willed when it came to denying Jackie something that she wanted.

You found yourself leaning in before you could give it a second thought. The urge to fall right back into place with Jackie was too difficult to deny. Jackie notices the action and moves to meet you in the middle. Once you were only an inch from each other's lips, you felt Jackie pull you the rest of the way into her. Her lips pressed roughly against yours, trying to convey every emotion she still felt for you.

Her hands move from your neck to thread into your hair. The grip you had on her waist tightened, and you brought her body closer to you. Jackie let out a small moan at the contact. After years of not hearing it, the noise sounded heavenly. It only spurred you on further. You backed her up against the nearest wall, and Jackie made a small sound when she hit it. Her dress was slipping further and further down her body as you kept going. The noises Jackie was making, the way she'd occasionally ground her hips into you, searching for friction. You knew where this was heading, and as lovely as that idea was, you knew you needed to stop. Everything in you wanted to continue, but you knew you had to separate to avoid taking it further too quickly. You pulled away, leaving a few chaste kisses on her lips to avoid seeing her pout.

When you both pulled apart, she was panting heavily. Once Jackie caught her breath, her face broke out into the largest smile. She always used to smile like that after kissing you when you were younger. You had to admit that it made you happy to see that you still had that effect on her. Jackie disappeared into her bathroom to get into her pajamas. It was at this point that you became painfully aware that you were still in your clothes from the reunion. You tried to adjust your clothing to be able to sleep in it.

Jackie came out of the bathroom while you were attempting to make your clothes as comfortable as possible. “Hold on!” She disappeared from the room with a smile on her face. You could hear her footsteps retreat, some fumbling sounds from the hallway, and her footsteps returning. She came back with a box in her hands. After she placed it on the floor and opened it up, you could see that it was full of your old clothes.

“You kept all these?” You said in astonishment as you sifted through all the clothes she stole from you years ago. She suddenly seemed bashful, watching you go through your old sports apparel and flannels. “I—uh, yeah, it’s always good to have some extra clothes lying around.” After finding a shirt and sweats that you found suitable for the night, you looked at Jackie. She nervously fiddled with her fingers before she continued speaking. “They actually still smelled like you for a long time after... everything. And it was nice, you know, to have some reminders of you still here. But just so you know, this is just a loan. I want those clothes back.” You smiled at her, getting up to give her a hug before you went to change. 

After you got into your old clothes that still miraculously fit very well, you crawled into her bed. Jackie hit the lights and walked over to the other side of the bed. You felt all the nostalgia hit you as you laid down on the soft sheets while Jackie climbed in as well. Her sheets and pillows smelled like her; it's comforting but brings a pit to your stomach at the same time. Laying in bed next to the love of your life for the first time in twenty-five years will do that to you, you guessed.

You laid flat on your back as Jackie curled into your side. She maneuvered your arm to hold her, effectively trapping herself against you. You both lay in the quiet of the dark room; the only light in the room was shining in from the streetlight outside. Jackie gingerly played with your fingers as you both sat in fulfilled silence. After a few minutes, Jackie turned her head to face to lay on your chest and held your torso. 

She was barely awake when she whispered to you. “Promise me that you’ll still be here when I wake up.” Her voice was muffled from her face being pressed against your chest. She said it so delicately, pleading with you. You were so caught up in the fondness of the moment that you took a beat to answer. After not immediately receiving an answer, Jackie opened her eyes and looked up at you. The sleepy expression on her face was wiped away, and you could see just how scared she was of never seeing you again. You'd do anything to never see her afraid like that again.

“I promise.” She took you in once more before leaning in and gently kissing you. It was innocent and lazy, kissing you just because she missed doing it. As if she were making up for lost time. Your heart thumped with an unearned feeling of domesticity. 

It only took a moment for Jackie to detach from you. She rolled to face away from you but scooched herself back to be flush against you. You took the hint and wrapped your arm around her waist. You could feel the grin that Jackie had on her face without even seeing it. She then placed her hand over yours and laced her fingers in between yours. No more than a minute or two later, Jackie fully relaxed into you. Her breathing slowly evened out as she fell asleep, still keeping a tight grip on you. 

Tomorrow, you’d plague yourself with the questions of what this meant for you and Jackie going forward. As for tonight, you just missed the feeling of holding her while you slept, and you’re not prepared to continue on without experiencing it every night. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and the smell of her conditioner brought a comfort to you that you had long forgotten. 

[denwritesandcries]

gf!Shauna Shipman HCs

Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader

Summary: To be Shauna's girlfriend is… Something else, to say at least.

Word count: 1,4k.

Content: 96’ timeline, cursing, suggestive, kissing, kinda toxic shauna, jealousy, fluff, the team being done with u two.

Note: I think that’s probably a little too long for headcanons but I’m really glad someone asked for it cause I love writing for Shauna sm.

English is not my first language.

- You most likely only spoke to each other because you were paired up on some project in a class that you both hate. A classic, but also one of the few ways for Shauna to actively approach anyone she hasn't known for years or been introduced to by Jackie, the girl isn't very sociable.

- She definitely found the most random and stupid reason possible to not like you at first, just because she enjoys being a little hater.

- Like she doesn't want to meet with you to discuss the topic and just leaves you to do your part alone and you just do it because this quiet girl on the football team is pretty hot and also scares the hell out of you.

- When you guys inevitably put it all together she'd take one look at it and say it's shit and make you do it all from scratch again in like one night as if it was your fault.

- And you simply wouldn't understand why she decided to pick on you. She’d have a beef with you that only exists in her head and you’ll be like??? Wondering why the heck she keeps staring at you like a judging hare even after getting (surprisingly) an A+.

(that’s a strangely accurate description, but you think it fits her perfectly well. Eyes widen following you and nose angrily twitching when you pass by.)

- She has a crush on you. Since the beginning. But she has too many problems to actually admit that to herself.

- She would finally admit that fell for you when she sees you reading something by an author she loves. She's a cliché and a failure, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You'd be in the stands during one of the Yellowjackets' practices (by pure chance, definitely not because you want to watch her too), with a notebook open at your side and a book on your lap, working on an assignment for extra credit, Shauna would see you when she stopped to have some water and she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day.

Especially if it was something by Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson or Shirley Jackson. She’d go feral. Seriously.

- Then she finally decides to act (after some suspicious looks from Jackie and screams from Taissa for disturbing everyone during the game) and it's like she was never mean to you. She’ll literally act like she's already your friend because she doesn't know how to apologize and start something properly. Will sit next you in class – and kick out whoever actually sat there – and talk to you normally, looking away and chewing on the end of her pen, speaking in a soft and innocent voice.

- You're very much confused and a little suspicious about all this, but you're not gonna complain about it with her slowly running a hand up your arm and blinking her bright deep eyes at you. Even though she still stares. A lot.

- This is how you get a girlfriend, which isn't really what you expected at all, but it's a pretty welcome change.

- gf!Shauna who only asked you out and took you for a milkshake on your first date, even though she doesn't really like sweets, when she heard Nat tell Van that she was thinking about doing that exactly same thing and finally decided to do something (they did it on purpose, just so that Shauna would stop bothering them with her constant yearning).

- gf!Shauna who accompanies you to all your classes, sometimes even being late for hers. She is so show off carrying your backpack for you and walking close enough for your shoulders to brush and rushing to Jackie's side after opening the door for you.

- gf!Shauna who keeps a hand on you all the time, on your shoulder, on your waist, on your arm, but who is too shy to hold your hand and intertwine your fingers properly. She'll become a mess if you hold her hand in the hallways or in front of the team and pretend like she doesn't like it, complaining that you're being clingy (she won't let you let go of her hand at all though).

- gf!Shauna who is jealous and possessive as fuck, no one is safe from her, not even Jackie. She will shoot daggers with her eyes and scare anyone who even breathes near you in a way that makes her feel insecure. Especially if it's someone on the team. Lottie is usually a recurring target of her reactions, making a point of keeping as much distance as possible from Shauna on the field after she sees her talking to you.

- Will totally pretend not to care and say there's nothing wrong when you ask if she's alright, while silently seething with rage and acting weird towards you, keeping everything to herself until she eventually explodes. gf!Shauna who waits until she's alone to write shit about you and the other person in her diary with a horrible, rushed handwriting.

- gf!Shauna, with whom you have to be really patient.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have study dates where she actually makes you study because she won't admit being with someone with a poor average, but who will start kissing you pretty quick until she ends up straddling you the moment she gets tired and decides you both had enough.

- gf!Shauna who absolutely loves seeing you in the stands during practice or a game. She'll show off like never before as soon as she realizes you've come, especially if you yell or cheer for her when she scores a goal. Nat, Lottie and Tai are rolling eyes hard for you two every single time.

- gf!Shauna who takes you in her car wherever you want and whenever you want, driving with one hand on the steering and an elbow resting on the window. Who looks at you with her big eyes shining like a kicked puppy if you ever say you don't need a ride.

- gf!Shauna who has the worst, most questionable taste in movies ever and who gets outraged if you mention it or try to get her to change her choice on a movie night. She's too stubborn to change her mind, so you settle for admiring her profile and leaning back against her warm body on the couch.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have almost weekly sleepovers because her parents are too oblivious to realize there’s something between you. Sleeping in her bed under the pretext that the floor is too cold and keeping the door closed so as not to bother anyone with your teenage nonsense and loud music. It's the perfect combination.

- gf!Shauna who keeps her favorite polaroids of you on your dates alongside the photos of her and Jackie on her bedroom wall.

- gf!Shauna who's always the big spoon and loves feeling your body against hers. She's practically a furnace, perfect for hiding your face on her neck or chest. The best way to fall asleep is with her arms around you and your face buried in her soft skin.

- gf!Shauna who loves to bite and leave marks for every inch of exposed skin you have. Who bites your shoulder joint and digs her nails into your back when you have her pressed against the mattress or the lockers in the changing room.

- gf!Shauna who goes crazy when she sees you in her clothes, especially her button-down shirts and flannels. Sometimes even hides your clothes just to have the excuse to give you hers, because she doesn't know how to ask you to wear them.

- gf!Shauna who writes cheesy and lame love poems for you like a victorian poet, because she doesn't know how to express herself in words without being on impulse or in a fight. You always praise her and thank her a thousand times for them, without letting her know that you don't understand most of what she writes.

- gf!Shauna who demands you tell her you love her before she does it first. She literally asks for it. And then she only says it back weeks later, rushed and nervous, at the moment you least expect it.

[amygobrrr]

a Jackie Taylor character analysis

or, why—

[I'm serious btw. this is ~3800 words, or about 15 minutes reading time.]

──── ◦✦◦ ────

The Facts of the Case

"For the record... I was trying to save you." Jackie. 1996, 1x02

(Nothing else Jackie ever says sums up who she is more succinctly than that.)

Our first real introduction to Jackie Taylor as a character—the first shot of her bedroom scene in 1x01—is a framed photo of her sitting close to Shauna, at a party. This is also the very first protagonist-centric character scene of the entire show; from the outset, we are told that the relationship between Jackie and Shauna will be critically important to the narrative. They are best friends, it's implied they do practically everything together, and right from their very first scenes we see how important they are to each other.

Yet likewise from the beginning, we see the fractures between them.

Shauna hides her acceptance to Brown from Jackie, and is uncomfortable with the assumption that she will be following her friend to Rutgers. She disapproves of Jackie's boyfriend sneaking out of her room, and is frustrated by Jackie telling her what to wear and who to hook up with. She is visibly upset at seeing Jackie and her boyfriend together at a party, and, on the way home, has sex with said boyfriend.

Jackie makes her boyfriend drop her off from the party first, forcing Shauna to wait much longer to get home. After Shauna chooses a rival plan for survival over hers, she gives her the cold shoulder, even actively tries to make her jealous. Jackie steals and reads Shauna's journal, and outs her pregnancy to the rest of the team. She sleeps with the only eligible man in the wilderness, just to try and hurt Shauna.

Jackie and Shauna may care deeply about each other, but we see them spending an awful lot of time driving wedges into the space between themselves.

So why do they behave this way? Why does Jackie fidget sadly with her necklace, why does she look at Shauna the way she does before giving the necklace to her, why is she so heartbroken over a boy she says she barely even likes, why is she so crestfallen at the idea Shauna lost her virginity without telling her, why does she pull Travis away at Doomcoming and look back at Shauna the whole time? Why does Shauna seem to think Jackie has abruptly backtracked with Jeff, why is she so disapproving when she sees Jackie leave Doomcoming with Travis, or when she sees Jeff leave her house? Why does she look so heartbroken when she sees Jackie and Jeff dancing together at the party? Why are they both so hurt and hardened towards each other at the end of it all, and yet why does Shauna's heart still seize in anguish the next morning?

I believe all of those questions have the same, straightforward answer:

Before the crash, Jackie and Shauna were hooking up with each other in secret, and never mentioning a word of it—let alone talking through their feelings for each other.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Some Mysteries Are Better Left Unsolved

"[Jeff and I have] been together for so long that if we're each others' firsts, then we'll be linked forever. It's more poetic that way. Oh! That reminds me—I decided on a color palette for our room at Rutgers next year." Jackie. 1996, 1x01

They make an unspoken habit of it; one always dragging the other away at parties after a few drinks under the pretense of mere friendly accompaniment. Jackie is reluctant to go all the way with her boyfriend Jeff; even after four years together, something always holds her back. She knows (or strongly believes, anyway, which is the same thing) that that's not entirely normal, and she wants more than anything to be normal, so she takes it in stages. She builds up to it with her boyfriend—slowly—and with her best friend—less slowly, but more comfortably. And it's fine—because Shauna is a girl, after all. Nothing they do together even counts. It's just fun. It's practice, for the real thing. It doesn't count.

But tipsy trysts alone aren't enough to fully explain the dynamic we see. Jackie had a change of heart regarding Jeff—what happened? Shauna seems a little hurt but also genuinely confused that they're back together at the beginning of the show, and even more so that Jackie intends to sleep with him 'for real' before college. I don't believe guilt over her actions fully accounts for her reaction. No, there is something else here, too; I think that, as important as Jackie and Shauna's clandestine hookups are to their dynamic, just as important is the fact that at some point they end. It's Jackie who puts a stop to them, possibly in the midst of the final time it happens.

I think Jackie, at a party some time around the beginning of the show—and maybe even giddy with the fresh excitement of a game or championship win—allows herself to be swept away in the moment with her best friend. Maybe she catches herself about to push too far with Shauna, about to venture into territory that she would have real trouble pretending "doesn't count," even with alcohol and adrenaline buzzing through her veins. Maybe she catches herself wishing that this could be her normal, that she could be with Shauna instead of Jeff. The specifics aren't what matters.

I think Jackie has long been vaguely aware that what she feels for Shauna falls outside of what you would expect for a friend, even a best friend. Normally, she doesn't give it a second thought; it's Shauna, of course it feels different. This time, though, she has a moment of extreme clarity about what exactly it is they're doing, and what it means that she wants it. More specifically, Jackie realizes what it says about her that she craves everything with Shauna that she cannot bring herself to crave with Jeff.

Jackie is in love with her best friend—and that makes her gay.

Jackie realizes, and the knowledge terrifies her.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

The Necklace

"And, here... it's a good-luck charm. Now nothing can touch you." Jackie. 1996, 1x01

Our attention is drawn to Jackie's heart pendant four times in the pilot episode. In order: we see it on the body of the girl hunted in the cold open, we see Jackie fidget with it after brushing her teeth, we see her fidget with it again during the pep rally, and we see her give it to Shauna on the airplane before takeoff. Three of the four scenes feature Jackie, with only the first finding her absent. That initial sighting certainly seems the most cryptic—we learn very quickly that it's Jackie's necklace, so why is someone else wearing it?

While we would need to see through Shauna's eyes to truly satisfy that question, for now at least the fourth scene—in the airplane—provides an answer: the necklace has nomadic tendencies. Jackie gives it as a protective charm to Shauna, who doesn't seem at all surprised by the gesture. Quite the contrary, exchanging the heart feels more like a known ritual between the two, maybe even first established during the trip to Hilton Head that Jackie references in preamble. (This ritual will be repeated—in the other direction—when Shauna gives Jackie a pep talk in 1x05.) Shauna holds the pendant close, clutching it with her entire fist. The thing seems just as precious to her now as it does to Jackie in the remaining scenes; perhaps it was originally a gift from one to the other?

Regardless of whether or not we are meant to infer that the necklace was a gift, in the pep rally scene we are explicitly shown that Jackie does strongly associate it with Shauna. It's a very brief moment in comparison to the full scene we get on the airplane—just one look exchanged, a set of smiles shared. After the Yellowjackets stream into the gym and line up to victorious music, Shauna looks past Lottie over to Jackie. And Jackie is already looking back, smiling as she plays with the heart pendant. Shauna's own grin widens, full and genuine, until it reaches all the way to her eyes. Jackie savors the look for a moment, then glances away, smile unbroken... her goal seemingly achieved.

What goal?

The bathroom scene is an even quicker blip than the gym, yet I believe it's the most impactful and telling of the four. One single shot with a punch-in. Jackie brushes her teeth quickly and then gazes in the mirror, looking forlorn as she fiddles with the necklace. On its own this one scene is not particularly remarkable—its true significance comes from the two others it glues together.

The scene preceding is the aforementioned bedroom introduction. Jackie is in bed with Jeff and he is clearly pushing their activities farther than she finds comfortable. Jackie fakes it to get things over with, powering through as he tells her he loves her. She lets Jeff think he's doing well... and as her immediate reward is coaxed into reciprocating his advances, and then some.

Jackie scrubs her teeth violently. She is unhappy.

The scene following is the car ride with Shauna where we learn that Jackie has suddenly gotten back together with Jeff. When Shauna brings him up, Jackie laughs and shrugs it off, but not before a flash of nervousness escapes in her chuckle—she tries twice to change the subject away from her boyfriend, only finding success once they pass a sign prompting her to talk shit on the boys' baseball team by singing the praises of the girls' own soccer team. Jackie leans out the window as her best friend rolls her eyes and giggles at her antics.

Jackie whoops for joy. She is happy.

Viewed as a whole, the sequence paints a clear picture: Jackie does not truly want to be with her boyfriend. She is unhappy both while and after she is alone with Jeff, happy while alone with Shauna, and while truly alone between the two encounters, draws some kind of strength from the necklace we know she associates with Shauna. In the car, she is eager to turn conversation away from her boyfriend and onto her best friend.

In her mind, everything she's doing with Jeff, everything she's letting him do with her? She is doing it to save her friendship with Shauna. She is working to build plausible deniability.

"I have a curfew too, you know." "Yeah, but... you know what my parents are like." Shauna and Jackie. 1996, 1x01

Conformity is the only weapon Jackie has against her parents' expectations, and naturally she is an expert in its misuse. Plausible deniability is the only tool at her disposal to avoid scaring Shauna away, and so Jackie picks up a double major. Half her work is already done; it's not like they'd ever talked about what they were doing or what it meant, so she can count on Shauna to never bring it up—as long as Jackie withdraws to the safety of being normal best friends.

If Shauna knew the truth, if she knew what Jackie cannot un-know... she would walk away, their friendship ruined, and it would be Jackie's fault. It would be Jackie's fault for being this way, and so the other half of her work must be undertaken. Jeff is living proof that whatever they've done together wasn't real, that Jackie could never be interested in her friend that way. Jeff, therefore, must stay, so that Shauna will stay. Jackie must be strong, for Shauna.

Each of the three necklace scenes Jackie has in the pilot shows us something very specific about her relationship to Shauna. On the airplane, Jackie wraps Shauna in her love—for protection. In the privacy of her bathroom, Jackie wraps herself in Shauna's love—for strength.

And in the gym, in public, Jackie suns herself in the warmth of their friendship—her strength rewarded.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Abandonment and the Wilderness

"What did I do? When did you stop wanting me to be your best friend?" Jackie. 1996, 1x07

The thought of Shauna replacing her with another is something Jackie dreads above almost all else. Whether in conflict, in resolution, or both, most of the battles and the skirmishes that we see play out between the two revolve around this fear.

Shauna gets upset and causes trouble at the party in the woods before seeming hurt that Jackie hasn't complimented her, so Jackie attempts reassurance by emphasizing how important their friendship is. Her choice of approach here seems at least partly motivated by a guilty conscience (with a side of projection): deep down, she knows that she is trying to replace Shauna... with Jeff. Jackie feels guilty for ending their hookups in favor of her boyfriend, so she assuages that guilt by firmly stating no, Shauna, you're not going anywhere. Jeff could never be my best friend. Only you. This fight ends when Shauna confirms she understands her importance to Jackie.

(As an aside, the timid "Hi" and "Are... are we cool?" Jackie greets Shauna with after the team-building exercise have such a soft lilt to them that they seem decidedly more than friendly.)

After the crash, Shauna snubs Jackie's plan for survival in favor of Taissa's—so Jackie gets buddy-buddy with Mari. Here, Jackie nakedly projects her fear through her actions: Shauna wants to choose Tai over Jackie, well, we'll see how she likes it when Jackie chooses Mari over Shauna. Things are only patched over between them when Shauna comes to Jackie with extra blankets saying she is scared and needs her best friend. Jackie melts at once.

This next one is not really a fight, but does involve reassurance: when the team grows annoyed with Jackie for not pitching in, Shauna pulls her aside to try and find something she can do. Jackie flunks out of badass butchering school, so Shauna switches gears to attempt a pep talk, which goes badly until she lands on the winning words.

"You taught me how to be like this, you know. You make people think things are gonna be okay, just by showing up and being your dumb, hot, awesome self. At least you always did that for me." Shauna. 1996, 1x05

Jackie softens, but holds firm on putting a knife through a deer knee, which Shauna accepts, but counters that Jackie still needs to find something to do. "We need you, Jackie." Shauna pulls out her trump card—she returns the heart pendant to its place around Jackie's neck. "I mean, you're basically the best, remember?" she says. Jackie preens, and a hug seals the deal.

By the time Taissa leads her ill-fated expedition away from the cabin, Shauna has been sneaking around around conspiring with her for a while, so Jackie jumps on the opportunity to corner her and demand an answer. This fight also happens to be when Jackie finally gives voice to the worry she carries; she openly wonders what she could have done to make Shauna want to replace her. And again, the fight ends not so much when Shauna spills a half-truth, but when Shauna allows her to simply be there. Jackie's relief is palpable as she stays cheerful for her best friend, wrapping her in maybe the tightest hug we see throughout the entire show.

Throughout the entire season, virtually all conflict between Jackie and Shauna can ultimately be solved—in Jackie's view, at least—by a reassurance that they will still be best friends no matter what. That is the core of the matter to Jackie, the driving force behind everything she does; she can withstand any blow, weather any storm as long as her best friend remains by her side. Shauna's love will carry her through.

Jackie fears being replaced, because more than anything... she fears being unloved.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

"It's funny, I used to pretend I didn't know if I loved Jeff, when the truth is: I didn't even like him that much. And I was so mad at Shauna, but now I realize she's right! Friendship doesn't matter. Love? Doesn't matter. They're just things we use to pretend like we aren't gonna end up like dead cabin guy, like rotted-out husks in some bullshit attic. But of course that's how it ends. That's all we are the whole time. It doesn't matter. We're just shells with nothing inside." Jackie. 1996, 1x09

Whatever reassurance Jackie has gleaned by the time of the pregnancy half-confession is shattered once again by the revelations contained in Shauna's journal—and yet, she doesn't seem to give up on Shauna entirely... until the end of their explosive argument.

Jackie spends the bulk of 1x08 and 1x09 depressed, bitchy, and passive-aggressive, yes—but through it all, she tries to make things work. She outs Shauna's pregnancy to lend urgency to Laura Lee's mission, but conspicuously deflects questions about the father, despite having the opportunity to go for the jugular. She does her Doomcoming preparations side by side with Shauna, makes her entrance to the party itself next to Shauna; continues to smile at Shauna when she's not looking.

Jackie doesn't cut ties with Shauna—to the contrary, she gives her multiple opportunities to course-correct. When Shauna confronts her about spilling the secret of her pregnancy to the group, Jackie responds with "It's not really the time to be keeping secrets." While wandering through the forest together picking flowers for decoration, Jackie brings up Rutgers before asking "You ever think about what we'd be doing if we hadn't crashed?" and stating—even more plainly—"What if this is it, Shauna? Everything we did, everything we didn't do? All the mistakes that we made, it's like... permanent." In both cases, Jackie knows what Shauna is still trying to keep from her—Jeff, Brown—and is handing her an opening to come clean.

When Shauna deflects away from her mistakes, Jackie scoffs. "Well, I was naïve. I realize that now," she muses.

Jackie still looks back at Shauna to make sure her friend is watching as she leaves the dance on her way to sleep with Travis; to make sure she cares. Just like she did with Mari at the lake, Jackie is trying to inflame Shauna's jealousy—all the way up until the very end, right up to the moment when uncertainty becomes lost to her entirely, Jackie still holds onto hope that deep down, Shauna cares for her.

In her attic confession to Travis, Jackie contrasts friendship with love—directly after explicitly stating that she never loved Jeff.

She is very obviously talking about Shauna.

Shauna was supposed to be the one person who truly loved her. The one person who loved Jackie, not as a soccer captain (like the team did), or as just a girl (like her boyfriend did), or as the mirage of perfect daughter (like her parents did), but loved her as her, as Jackie. Shauna's journal reveals even that to be a lie.

Jackie sees now... she sees that none of it matters.

The curse of the viewer is that we see what Jackie never does. We see morning light fall on the snow, sparkling. We see Shauna fall on her knees, screaming. We see the inhabited meat shed, and the pyre, and the bacchanal, and the empty meat shed, and the bridge and the uniform and the childhood bedroom. Jackie, however, is neither prophetic nor clairvoyant; all she sees is an incomplete account of Shauna's actions. She certainly doesn't see the whole picture, can't imagine the chain of events that drove Shauna to such extremes. Jackie is hurt, not over Jeff—though he provides her with a convenient excuse to the others—but over what Shauna being willing to sleep with him says to her about how Shauna must view their friendship.

Shauna has told her that love and friendship don't matter. The romantic love Jackie knew she didn't feel for Jeff, the romantic love she believed Shauna didn't feel for her, and the platonic love she believed Shauna did; none of them mattered, none of them ever existed. Jackie shaped herself into a shell by pretending, a shell perfectly tailored to accept what Shauna was willing to give—only to find that what her friend really handed to her was rotting faster than Jackie could build the husk around it. But it's not until the night after Doomcoming that Shauna twists the knife in Jackie's heart, removing any last shred of doubt.

And that, more than anything else, is what breaks Jackie in the end; the knowledge that Shauna never cared for her.

"I'm sure everyone back home is so FUCKING sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they'll never know how tragic, and boring, and insecure you really are. Or how high school was the best your life was EVER gonna get." "Fuck you." Shauna and Jackie. 1996, 1x10

"I don't even know who you are anymore." "Or maybe you never did." The last words Jackie and Shauna ever spoke to each other. 1996, 1x10

Jackie was trying her best, she really was. She offered Shauna her love in the form of everything she endured to keep Jeff in front of her, and therefore to keep their friendship intact. Shauna knows Jeff is her boyfriend, she knows he's off-limits, and yet she gets pregnant by him anyway. Jeff is Jackie's shield (her beard; not that she would know THAT term), her proof that all is right and she can be normal. Shauna ripped that protection away from her. From Jackie's perspective, she saw Shauna take her love, crush it underfoot, and spit right in her face. Not only does Shauna not love her back the way Jackie wants, but she doesn't love her even as a friend.

Jackie is, at this point, totally convinced that no scrap even of the friendship she was so desperately clinging to really exists. Everything she feels for Shauna is unrequited—everything except, of course, the anger and the hurt. So when her attempt to banish Shauna backfires and she is told to leave instead, Jackie listens; she walks outside to reenact the ending of Romeo & Juliet.

Jackie tried hard, so hard, not to let her baggage—her longing—ruin her most valued friendship, or push away the most important person in her life... and in the end it was all for nothing. She lost her anyway.

Or worse, she never even had her in the first place.

On her way to oblivion, Jackie dreams of being loved.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

──── ◦✦◦ ────

If you read all the way to the end here, you're the best, especially cause tumblr posts are so <--> narrow. I'm sorry for leaving things on such a downer note... but Yellowjackets do be that way.

this has been Jackie's side of things—I have a partially-written follow-up half from Shauna's perspective, but it has proven even harder to stick to some semblance of objectivity when arguing from Shauna's POV than it was for Jackie. if this one resonates with people I might refactor and finish part 2, we'll see.

in the meantime though, if you agree with my conclusions in this essay and hunger for a taste of Shauna's side, check out this "Jackie lives" fic I wrote:

featuring 4k of Tai trying to get Shauna to use her words, followed by 6k of Shauna's words! I wrote it between bouts of working on this (some snippets I cut from the Shauna section for being too un-essay-like made it in there), and it pretty much assumes everything I talk about here, both Jackie's-character-wise and jackieshauna-history-wise, holds true. except, of course, the part where Jackie stays dead lol

later haters (mari and crew)

[helloalycia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] —𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

summary: Jackie and you become closer and she takes it as a challenge to make you fall for her charms.

warning/s: none.

author’s note: part 2 is finally here, sorry for the delay! i’ve had a migraine all day otherwise i would’ve posted this earlier 😅 hope you like it!

one / three / masterlist / wattpad

A month passed and any reminder of my conflict with Leroy and Tiffany had faded into oblivion. Jackie was correct in assuming they'd drop their beef with me, and once my hand was healed and Jackie's face no longer looked like an overly inflated balloon, there was nothing left to remind me of the incidents that occurred.

The only thing to come out of the whole experience was being a little more than acquaintances with Jackie. I couldn't go as far as saying we were friends, but she definitely felt the need to greet me more whenever she saw me in class, and I didn't mind returning the favour.

The real shift in our relationship began when Van, Jackie, Shauna and I were grouped up for a History class project. It was a presentation we needed to pull together, so we'd all made plans to meet up to discuss everything over coffee, which is how I found myself driving there with Van in my new car.

"You know you're gonna have to take me everywhere now," Van pointed out from the passenger seat with a grin. "I'm gonna be your passenger princess."

I laughed. "Hey, I don't mind. It's a bit of a rust bucket, but it beats skateboarding everywhere." I paused, then added, "Who am I kidding? I'm gonna miss skateboarding everywhere."

"We can still hit up the skate park every now and then," she promised. "But driving is a lot easier, you can't lie."

I smiled in agreement. After using some of my savings and convincing my parents it was time to get a car, they bought me an old, second-hand banger from one of my dad's friends who owned a garage. It wasn't the best looking car, but after a wash and a little bit of sprucing up with some car accessories, it looked decent enough to serve its purpose.

Conveniently, I pulled up at the coffee shop at the same time as Shauna, who was parking a few spots down. When Van and I jumped out the car with our bags, Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.

"Hey," Shauna greeted us both with a smile, before nodding with approval at my car. "Love the new ride, Y/L/N."

"Thanks," I said with proud smile.

"You got to the part where you have to fill the tyres with air?" she asked with amusement. "It's so awkward when everyone watches you do it."

I snorted with amusement. "I'll be lucky if I get that far. This thing is trying its best right now."

She chuckled and glanced over it once more. "It's still pretty nice. Gets you from A to B, right? Driving saves so much time, trust me."

"Very true," I agreed, before I noticed Jackie checking it out curiously, having greeted Van already. I quirked a brow as I jokingly asked, "What? Not up to the princess' standards?"

Van and Shauna exchanged amused glances whilst Jackie shot me a playful glare.

"That's not what I was thinking," she said matter-of-factly.

I stopped by her side to look at it like she was, giving her a sideways glance. "I was kidding. Kind of."

She gave me a knowing look. "It's nice."

I tried not to laugh as I said, "Thank you."

She rolled her eyes playfully before the four of us headed inside to find a table. After claiming a booth in the corner, we pulled out our supplies and textbooks to get started.

"I'll go order our drinks," I offered, before we got stuck in. "Everybody know what they want?"

After they shared their orders with me, I slid out the booth to get in the queue, but Jackie slid out alongside me.

"You might need more hands to carry it," she said, when I quirked a brow.

I shrugged and the two of us got in line to order. It didn't take long to reach the front, and after giving the barista our order and paying, Jackie decided she wanted a muffin that was on display.

"Shoot, I'm so sorry to be annoying," she said with her signature smile, albeit a little apologetic, as she pointed to the muffin. "Please can we get that too?"

The guy, probably no older than we were, nodded eagerly and got the muffin for her, placing it on the tray. "Of course. It's on the house."

I resisted the urge to smile as I raised an eyebrow, watching Jackie laugh flirtatiously.

"No! Really?" she asked with bright eyes. "You're too sweet!"

The guy shrugged casually, his cheeks turning pink as she gave him all her attention in this moment. Before we knew it, our drinks were added to the tray and I picked it up to leave.

"Thanks again," she said with a tilt of her head and a matching smile.

He watched her leave distractedly, and only when we were walking away did I let out a quiet chuckle at what I'd just witnessed.

"What?" she asked, glancing at me, as if she didn't know what she'd done.

I gave her a look of disbelief. "Seriously?" Her confused expression forced me to continue. "You just bat your eyes and get what you want?"

She looked up thoughtfully before nodding. "Pretty much."

Breathing out through my nose, I shook my head with amazement. It made sense that even strangers fell victim to the Jackie Taylor effect.

"Can you get some napkins?" she asked, flashing me the same smile she gave the barista, but I would be damned if she thought she could fool me.

"Not a chance," I said with a stifled laugh, equally amused by her frown as I was her audacity.

I returned to the booth as she went to grab some napkins for us, and the four of us got stuck in immediately. As well as getting the base of our presentation researched, we also had a nice bonding session. To be fair, Van already knew Jackie and Shauna well, but I enjoyed getting to know them too.

I especially learnt that Jackie was pretty used to getting what she wanted whenever she wanted, and having people fall head over heels for her. This was something that came to light the more time we spent together working on this project. I guess you could say that the project is what intertwined our lives again once more.

—

After yet another studying session with Jackie, Shauna and Van in the library last night, I realised I grabbed Jackie's notebook by accident and planned to return it to her the next morning at school. I found her by her locker, but she was in a conversation with Jeff and I debated whether or not to interrupt.

They weren't together, the two of them surprisingly staying broken up unlike the many other times they'd somehow got back together, so it was odd to see them talking. But it wasn't any of my business, even if I was a little curious to whether they were back together – especially after everything that happened – so I just sucked it up and politely interrupted.

When I stopped by their side awkwardly, their conversation fell quiet and Jeff glanced at me, no doubt thinking of the whole Leroy incident. Without another word, he walked away, leaving Jackie and I alone.

"Sorry," I said to her uncomfortably, before holding out her notebook. "I just wanted to give you this."

"Oh, thanks," she said, blinking, before accepting the notebook. "I was looking for this all morning."

"Yeah, I must've grabbed it by accident," I said with a small smile. "My bad."

She nodded, and I was about to leave, but then she met my eyes and said, "That wasn't–"

She'd stopped, so I prodded, "Wasn't...?"

Uneasily, she explained, "He's been trying to get back together with me. Jeff."

I chewed on my lip, unsure what to respond, because she didn't owe me any kind of explanation. But a small part of me was nosy enough to want it.

"I'm not stupid, obviously," she continued.

"Obviously," I repeated in agreement, otherwise stumped for words.

"But yeah," she finished, a small, awkward smile on her lips. "That's it."

I mirrored her smile, nodding. "Awesome... er, thanks for the update."

She cleared her throat, nodding too, and then an uncomfortable silence filled the air. I was relieved, though I would never admit it, to know that she wasn't considering going back to him. It only reaffirmed all she'd said about listening to me, and it showed that she respected whatever friendship we seemed to share.

"I'll see you in class," I said, straightening up.

She relaxed her shoulders. "Yeah. See you."

—

Shortly after finishing our group assignment together, Jackie felt the need to work with me more often, for whatever reason. She had a lot of friends, so I couldn't see why she needed me in the mix also, but I guess I wasn't totally against it.

I was walking into Chemistry class when I spotted the blonde sat where my usual lab partner, Dennis, sat. Getting a sense of deja vu, I watched her questioningly as I set my stuff down in my seat.

"Is there a particular reason you're sat there?" I asked, when she flashed me a nonchalant smile.

Placing her chin in the palm of her hand, she stared at me through her lashes. "I feel like you don't know me well enough. So, I switched partners."

I resisted the urge to laugh, oddly intrigued by whatever game she was playing. "I mean, we've only been in the same classes all our life, but–"

"It's not the same," she insisted with a wave of her hand, making me laugh.

Not caring enough to be opposed to her trading seats with Dennis, I took a seat beside her and began to get my books out. As I did, our teacher, Mr Turner, approached our table with a stern expression.

"Miss Taylor," he addressed her. "Can I ask why you're not sitting in your assigned seat?"

I watched on with amusement, wondering how she'd get herself out of this one. But if she was sweating in the slightest, it didn't show.

Shooting Mr Turner her signature smile, she said, "I'm sorry, Mr Turner. I was just about to come and ask you permission. I thought moving beside Y/N here would help improve my grade and be less of a distraction than my old partner."

I quirked a brow, glancing between him and her, and watched as his expression softened slightly. Holy shit. The Jackie Taylor effect worked on teachers too?

"Very well," he conceded. "I suppose that's alright, if it's for the betterment of your learning. Just don't let me catch you chatting through my teaching, alright?"

She nodded innocently. "Of course. I'd never disrespect you like that."

My mouth opened slightly with disbelief, her pure arse kissing astounding me. Mr Turner nodded appreciatively before returning to the front of the classroom, and Jackie turned to me with a cheeky smile.

"I'm impressed," I admitted. "Everybody really loves you, huh?"

As she grabbed her book, she shrugged, though gave me a sideways glance as if she was pouting. "Almost everyone."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "C'mon, Jackie. You have the whole school– heck, probably the whole world at your fingertips. Why are you so adamant on making me like you?"

She raised her brows impatiently. "Because I'm likeable!"

The pink tinge on her cheeks, darkening her already-existent blusher, paired with her impatience only served to make me grin. If I'd known treating Jackie Taylor like this would get her so flustered, I would have done it more often. It was definitely entertaining, and she was going through more effort than she needed to, which only made me laugh more.

As amusing as it was though, I knew she'd give up soon. I simply refused to let myself slip under the Jackie Taylor spell that she had over everyone – doing whatever she wanted, treating her like she was god's gift, there at her beck and call... Unlike every other poor soul who genuinely believed they had a chance with her, no doubt because she had a power to make you feel that way, I wasn't naive. Jackie Taylor was out of my league, as a friend or anything more.

I wasn't blind. Her powers of seduction were rooted in her beauty and ability to turn heads wherever she went. It was normal to have a tiny crush on her, I was sure of it, but I'd never let it be more than that.

Of course, there were small micro-moments where I'd let myself indulge for once, to be a little selfish and delirious. Like now, as she sat beside me in class, nodding along to what Mr Turner was explaining. From the corner of my eye, it was easy to make out the perfect curve of her jaw, the glossiness of her lips, the flutter of her eyelashes. And it would have been even easier to give into it all, especially when she asked me to grab her a lab coat from the back of the classroom, a soft smile on her lips and a single bat of her eyelashes.

But all it took was one relinquishment of power and I'd be just another fool who let Jackie Taylor create delusion in their heads. And I refused.

"I don't know what the arrangement between you and your last partner was, but here, you do things yourself," I said with a suppressed smile, appreciating the way her face dropped.

She tensed her jaw slightly, before trailing along behind me to grab a lab coat. After suiting up, we returned to our desk and I got out the lab equipment whilst she read over the worksheet we'd been given.

"Okay, first step is to turn on the bunsen burner," she read aloud, glancing at me expectantly.

"Great." I pushed over the bunsen burner to her. "Go on."

Indifferently, she straightened up and began to connect the hose to the bunsen burner, shooting me a knowing look as she connected the whole thing to the gas tap.

"I know how to do things myself, y'know," she said disapprovingly.

I chuckled. "I know, it's just fun watching you actually do it."

She huffed dramatically before twisting the gas tap without warning, making me jump back quickly as the flame lit up. Her eyes widened as she twisted it off, before falling to me with both concern and amusement.

"Shit, are you okay?" she asked, hand covering her mouth, but a smile was threatening to break out.

I released a breath, touching my shirt which almost set on fire, and shot her a look. "I am, yeah. No thanks to you!"

She began to laugh quietly. "I'm sorry. See? If you'd just done it for us, that wouldn't have happened."

"Oh, if I'd just done it for us?" I asked sarcastically, mimicking her voice.

"Yeah, you should've just listened–" she started, eyes darting between mine with entertainment.

"I should've just listened," I agreed, still as sarky as ever.

"Yes," she agreed between laughter.

I sighed, giving into my smile as she watched me with dismay. This was going to be a long lesson.

—

As much as I hated to admit it, I was enjoying having Jackie as my lab partner, looking forward to the hour lesson where she was as careless as ever when it came to our experiments, but to the satisfaction and humour of me. Of course, she could never know that all of her efforts to sway me were working, so I played it cool.

I definitely didn't expect to see her beyond that, so I was especially surprised when I showed up to the local community centre after school with the intention of improving my college application and saw her waiting outside with a few other students. I did a double take, her face being the last I expected to see.

"Hey," she said when she recognised me, moving to stand beside me with her usual blinding smile.

"Are you stalking me, Taylor?" I asked jokingly.

"You wish," she retorted with a playful eye roll. "I'm here because it looks good for my college application."

"Ah, of course."

She lifted a brow. "You?"

"Same," I admitted sheepishly, making her laugh.

Once the other students turned up, there were thirteen of us in total and the manager of the community centre met us outside to brief us. We were to work on the community garden over the coming weeks, helping to clean it up and plant some fresh produce and flowers to brighten up the place. Only once it was complete would we get a certificate of recognition for our efforts.

We got stuck in straight away, everyone assigned to different areas. Jackie and I were working on planting the flower beds, so the first thing to do was bring over the soil to the designated area. I heaved the giant bag of soil over my shoulder and brought it over, dropping it to the ground with a sigh and wiping the sweat from my head.

Giggling made me look up, and I watched as Jackie got some freshman to grab her bag, twirling her hair and fluttering her eyelashes as he dropped the bag beside mine.

"You're too sweet, Johnny," she said with a classic tilt of her head, touching his arm. "Thanks again."

He shrugged casually, clearly affected by her attention. "Anytime. You need a hand with anything else, just let me know."

She nodded in agreement and watched as he walked away before her eyes found mine.

"What?" she said like it was obvious. "It would've gotten my nails dirty."

I glanced down at the soil staining my shirt, before giving her a knowing look. "Wait until you start to plant the seeds."

Kneeling down, I used the spade provided to dig out the old dead plants from the flower beds. She kneeled down beside me, careful not to dirty her skirt as she did, and watched my hands work.

"I'm curious," I said, glancing at her. "Were you planning to help at all?"

She straightened up with a sense of pride. "Of course." And then reluctantly, she used her hands to help me remove the old plants, but not without pulling a face.

I tried not to laugh as I watched, finding a sense of satisfaction as her fingernails did indeed get stained with soil. Working alongside her, I used the spade to dig out the next plant, but it skidded across the soil, the plant too firm, and I ended up flicking a handful of soil at Jackie.

"Oh, shit," I said with a stifled smile, watching as she looked down at her clothes. "Sorry."

She breathed out slowly and dusted the soil off, but it left dark tracks in its midst. "It's fine."

"Good thing you wore your old clothes, right?" I asked, biting my lip to contain my smile.

She hummed in agreement, jaw tensing slightly, and a grin fell upon my lips. Everything she wore looked too nice to be considered old. Poor Jackie was probably not expecting to lift a finger.

For whatever reason, whether it was to prove me wrong or to prove her own point, she actually helped me with our tasks, no longer using freshmen to get everything done. It was fun, working with her, and it only gave me more time to appreciate spending with her.

Once we'd done our assigned two hours, it was finally time to leave for the day, and Jackie and I walked out together. Parked a few cars down from mine was Shauna's, and I gave Jackie a look of disbelief.

"You made Shauna pick you up?"

"Duh," she said with a shrug.

I breathed out slowly, looking up and shaking my head. "Why do I still get surprised?"

"What? That people love me?" she asked with a teasing voice.

"Yes."

She rolled her eyes, lips pressing into a smile. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. Until then, see you tomorrow."

I waved goodbye to her as she kept walking, trying to understand the hold she had on everyone. Her and her silly smiles and silly hazel eyes and silly raspy voice.

Annoyingly enough, I was starting to see it.

—

I found myself in Chemistry class later that week, doodling on my notebook as I waited for class to properly start. Jackie arrived as usual, greeting me, and when I looked up, I took a moment to find my words.

"You look different," I said without thinking, trying to figure it out.

"I'm pretty sure I don't," she said with a chuckle, sitting beside me like always.

But no, there was something different about her today, something that had me admiring her a little more closely than usual. And as I was subtly studying the freckles on her face, the slope of her nose, the golden flecks in her eyes, it hit me.

"Your hair," I said with realisation, making her look up. "It's up. You never have it up."

She lifted a brow with amusement. "I guess, maybe not often, but..."

She'd worn her hair up before, obviously, but her signature look was to leave it out, freshly curled. So, seeing her with it up just happened to draw my attention more, and also show off her pretty face a bit more, which I guess is why I noticed.

Satisfied that I'd figured it out, I nodded. "Yeah, that's it. It looks pretty like that."

Her lips curved into a soft smile, eyes darting away from mine in an uncharacteristic manner. "Er, thanks."

I didn't think much more of it as I returned to my doodling, but then from that day onwards, I noticed she began to wear her hair up more often. And every single time, I found myself admiring her secretly, letting myself indulge just that little bit more.

—

Promising to pick up Van from soccer practice today, I headed to the field to wait in the bleachers for her, having killed time studying all I could before my brain would fry itself. I was a little early, so the Yellowjackets were still practicing.

I took that as my opportunity to get comfortable at the bottom of the bleachers, feet leaning on the ones in front of me as I pulled my headphones on and focused on my book. I was deep into it when something hit me and I jumped, startled.

Yanking my headphones off, I looked down to see a bottle cap, and then looked up to see a laughing Jackie stood by the bench on the field, bottle of water in hand.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, before tossing the cap back at her, which she swiftly dodged.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a grin.

Admittedly, she looked really cute right now, dressed in the school gym kit, a little sweaty and her face flushed pink from all the running she'd done. But I would never give her that satisfaction, so sarcasm was my next best defence.

"Oh, I just had to come and see Jackie Taylor in all of her team captain glory."

She raised her brows, pausing. "Really?"

"No. I'm here to pick Van up."

She scoffed gently, rolling her eyes.

"As much as your many admirers would love to watch you practice, I'm not one of them," I teased.

"Hilarious," she said with narrowed eyes, making me grin. Dismissing my mockery, she asked, "Are you coming to the pep rally tomorrow? First game of the season is this week."

I leaned back, thinking about it. "Eh, why not?"

Hand on her hip, she shot me a disapproving smile. "Don't sound too enthusiastic or anything."

I crossed my legs comfortably as I met her challenging stare. "I'm not big on the whole soccer thing. I'm just going to support Van. That's what a good friend would do."

She began to smile, a glint of amusement in her gaze. "A good friend, huh? Pat yourself on the back much?"

"Someone has to."

She looked away with disbelief, hiding a smile. "Wow, I see."

I quirked a brow, smile forming on my lips. "See how annoying that is? That's what it's like having a conversation with you."

She pursed her lips as she looked over me with feigned irritation. "Touché, Y/N."

I flashed her a satisfied smile as she finished the last of her water before flipping me off then jogging back to the others. I chuckled to myself as I watched her leave, admittedly checking her out as I did. Stupid Jackie and her stupid cute face.

—

We were well into October when it happened. I couldn't have seen it coming in the slightest.

Lottie, one of Van's teammates, was hosting the ultimate Halloween party at her mansion of her house, able to get away with it because her parents were away. Everybody was attending, and if Van herself didn't invite me, at least ten other people had because of how awesome it was supposed to be. Naturally, I said yes, loving a party more than anyone else but especially a costume party.

So, I showed up with Van and Taissa, the latter opting for a Catwoman costume that she very much pulled off, and Van and I dressing up as two of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – her as Michelangelo and myself as Leonardo. They were iconic outfits, what could I say?

Of course, I may have felt a little stupid when we met up with the rest of Van's team, including Jackie who looked drool-worthy in her Supergirl costume.

"Wow, you two look...," she began when she saw Van and I, eyes flickering between our matching costumes. "It's very you."

Van swung her nunchucks in agreement. "I thought so too. Love the sexy Supergirl getup."

Jackie stifled a smile as she nodded in acknowledgement, before her eyes fell to me. "Which one are you? Raphael?"

I pointed to the blue bandana over my eyes. "Leonardo, obviously."

A grin broke out on her lips as she touched the bandana, pulling it over my eyes a bit better and also sending goosebumps all over my skin at her touch. "Obviously."

I swallowed thickly, trying not to let my eyes drift below her head, because her costume was very tight and she looked very good right now.

"Nat's pouring everyone drinks in the kitchen," she said, looking between the three of us. "You coming?"

"Hell yeah," Van spoke for us all, raising her nunchucks in the air, before glancing back at Taissa and I. "Leonardo and Catwoman, on my six!"

I cracked a smile as I readied my sword and followed after my idiot best friend. 

It was admittedly an eventful first few hours, with Van and I stressing Taissa out enough times that she was forced to take our pretend weapons off us for the rest of the party. Apparently assuming the personas of our costumes wasn't going down well with her, which, in hindsight, was fair when I remembered how drunk we got.

At one point, I found myself rambling to some random guy about the lore of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, aware that he was passed out on the couch beside me but still talking anyway, when Jackie strolled over to me, just as drunk as I was.

"There you are," she said with a grin. "Come dance with me."

"Jackie, I'm in the middle of a conversation," I said, motioning to my passed out friend.

"He's asleep, idiot," she pointed out, before outstretching her hand and wiggling it. "Come on."

I batted her hand away. "I don't dance."

She lost her smile as her patience ran quicker now that her inhibitions were lowered. "Y/N."

Finding it amusing, I motioned around us. "There's a billion people here. One of them would kill to dance with you. Why not ask them?"

"I'm asking you," she said through gritted teeth.

Not really aware of her anger, I pushed myself off the couch with a stretch. "I'm hungry."

She glared at me as I walked away, pushing through the party-goers and intending to find the kitchen, but Lottie's house was huge and I'd already forgotten the layout. I opened several wrong doors, and then on the last one – some sort of games room – I felt someone shove me from behind, forcing me in.

"Hey–!"

"Why does nothing work with you?!" Jackie interrupted my complaining, shutting the door behind her and fixing me with a frustrated stare.

I blinked, confused.

She scoffed, uncrossing her arms and rolling her eyes. "I've been trying to get your attention for months, you idiot! I even started–" she faltered, embarrassed, "wearing my hair up because of one stupid compliment you gave me."

My brain was working slower than usual, so her words were catching up to me little by little. "I noticed that."

Still not happy, she narrowed her eyes at me. "Why do I even try?"

Realising this was about the Jackie Taylor effect, as I'd rightly dubbed it now, I said, "Everybody loves you. Why is it so important if I don't?"

Her eyes flickered between mine, and I was certain she was going to slap me or berate me or shout at me. But then her expression softened and she admitted, "Because I want you to."

I didn't get chance to register her words before she stepped forward, pressing her lips to mine. Her fingers curled around the back of my neck and I found myself melting under her touch, falling right into her. Her lips tasted like alcohol, tobacco and strawberry lipgloss, and I was suddenly eager to taste her concoction even more, all my senses heightened as I pulled her close.

She moved her lips against mine eagerly, fingers sending shivers down my spine as they tickled my skin, and I pushed my tongue between her lips in retaliation, not even thinking about anything other than her. We broke apart for air, barely seconds passing before our lips reconnected, and I was infatuated with every part of the blonde that had been on my mind these past few months.

Time was a drunken haze – we could have been there for seconds or hours for all I knew – and we were unfortunately interrupted by the sound of the door suddenly opening. Our sloppy movements meant we pulled apart a second too late, and we turned to see Van standing there in her Michelangelo costume. God, did I look that stupid right now?

"You're both trashed," she said, words slurred, before she looked to me. "C'mon. Catwoman is taking us home." Then she looked to Jackie, adding, "Shauna's looking for you."

I glanced at Jackie, heart still racing and her taste still on my lips. The state I was in made everything feel like it was so distant, as if it was happening to someone else, so I still hadn't truly acknowledged what had just happened between us. Jackie was already looking at me, eyes half lidded and cheeks flushed. I almost wanted to kiss her again, but Van impatiently calling my name snapped me out of it.

"Coming," I told her, before tearing my eyes from Jackie and following after Van.

[alottiegoingon]

flannels

summary: where shauna catches you wearing her flannel

shauna shipman x fem!reader (all characters are aged up + in college)

warnings: established relationship, pre-crash, minimal usage of bad words, yellowjackets but in college, NSFW content!!! (MDNI), fingering, dom!shauna, sub!reader, probably a bunch of english mistakes and bad writing, not proofread

Shauna’s birthday was coming up and for the past three months you have been struggling. You and Shauna were officially dating for almost six months now and you wanted to give her something special to let her know how much you loved her. That’s why you decided to skip practice today and go straight to her house after class by making up some silly excuse. You knew that she was smart and wouldn't believe you at all but you were willing to take the risk. As time was running low, you decided on the one thing that you knew that Shauna would love.

Flannels. She would wear them everywhere and at any occasion. You could track her from miles away just by looking for a girl wearing oversized flannel shirts and, honestly, it was one of your favorite things about her. You could worry about other small gifts later, but now you were determined to find the exact size of her clothes and that’s why you were standing in front of her house, waiting for her mom to open the door for you.

You didn’t want Shauna to find out, you wanted to be a surprise. That’s what you told her mother when you called her the other day, explaining the situation and practically begging her to let you sneak into her room while her daughter was out. Gladly, you were a sweetheart. At least this is what her parents called you. Always a sweet angel, a good influence for their daughter.

Now, you were stepping into your girlfriend’s room. The light from the string lights in the wall by her bed was on, giving the bedroom a dark pinkish tone along with the small lampshade. Taking a quick glance, you could see thousands of pictures of Shauna with her friends, especially her best friend Jackie, and of you two hanging on her wall and in portraits by her desk. In a blink of an eye, you remind yourself of the reason why you were skipping practice and would probably get your ass beaten by Jackie tomorrow, you had no time to lose. Rushing into Shauna’s closet, you get in, not taking longer than a second to find what you were looking for.

The amount of variety of colors in the shirts made you giggle as you were reaching out for one of the many to check the size on the small tag. It wasn’t a surprise that it was only one size apart from yours and to be fair, you always wondered about how comfortable it would be to wear them. Shauna would probably take hours to come home since Jackie was not much of a compassionate soul when it came to soccer and would always make the girls almost faint of exhaustion by the time practice was over. You had nothing to worry about.

You smell Shauna’s perfume lingering in the air as you put on one of her flannels and button it up. It only made you miss her more now, distracting your brain from the actual reason you were in her room. You look in the mirror close to the bed and you finally understand why she loves this so much. It’s cute, comfortable and it surprisingly matches with the pants and shirt that you were wearing with no effort.

“Are you in the closet?” Your heart almost stopped beating and you feel your blood turning to ice in your veins as a very familiar voice reverberate through the room. You turn around with the speed of light to find Shauna standing, leaning against the doorframe and staring at you, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. The seriousness in her posture and even the slight fear that would leak through her intense stare was being betrayed by a goofy smirk on the corner of her lips.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find a better way to tell you.” You make use of the most soothing tone you can achieve, exaggerating a pout as you approach your girlfriend. “Shauna, I’m gay.” Your pout fades away as quickly as it started, being replaced by a cheeky smirk on your lips, and your girlfriend lets out a soft chuckle. You feel Shauna’s arms gently embracing you, sliding through your sides and getting tighter around your waist. Like an automatic response, you wrap your arms around her neck, both of you failing to hold silly smiles.

“I thought you were sick but… Apparently you were just in the mood for stealing your girlfriend’s clothes?” She teases and you can even notice a bit of a flirting in her voice. She looks away from your eyes, dragging her attention to your body and how her flannel looked slightly bigger on you, gracefully falling from your shoulders to the middle of your thighs. You, however, do not look away from her and you see her big dilating pupils glistening differently. She loses her arms around your body to unbutton the first ones, catching your attention. “What are you doing here?” She insists as you remain quiet.

“Waiting for you…” You shrug. As usual, you couldn’t hold the eye contact when you lied poorly and Shauna noticed it at the exact same second. “Waiting for me in my bedroom instead of going to practice and leave together?” She lifted one eyebrow, trying her best to not smile. It was kind of amusing to her how you had such a bad time lying and how easy it was for her to figure it out. “You are such a bad liar.”

“I know! It’s so hard!” You exhale in relief. It’s not like you were a good liar and would be able to keep the lie for much longer. It wasn’t on your plans to reveal your idea but Shauna was smart. Probably way smarter than you, and would have figured out if you were lying again. “I was trying to find your size to buy you another flannel. I know you love them and I just…” You stop.

You feel the warmth of Shauna’s hands going down from your shoulders to your biceps and giving it a gentle squeeze in a reassuringly way, subtly asking you to continue.

“I don’t know what I should do for your birthday, alright? I can’t find anything good enough, it has to be perfect! I’m a terrible girlfriend.” You grumble and the next thing you hear is Shauna’s surprise scoff.

“What?!” She doesn’t even let you consider saying something else. She had to intervene and stop this nonsense. “Listen. I don’t need a perfect gift.” She innocently mocks you while mimicking your desperate need to give her something flawless. Her hands reach up, her palms resting on your cheeks, cupping your face and forcing you to look into her eyes. You almost get lost in them, like always.

“I literally managed to date the prettiest girl in Wiskayok High, this is the best gift that I could ever receive. The only thing I want is to spend the day with you, you idiot.” She murmurs and you see her cheeks getting a new color, a light shade of pink. No matter how hard it was for her to show her feelings, she would always push her limits and face her fear, eager to let you know how important and loved you were and you appreciated her effort a lot.

For a moment you find yourself wanting to look away, too flustered to not break the eye contact, but you can’t miss your girlfriend’s reddish face. “Fine. I just wanted to give you something special.” You whine and see Shauna’s expression change ever so slight as she suddenly breaks the eye contact and shifts her attention to your body. “Maybe I have something in mind.”

In less than five minutes you were lying in Shauna’s bed with her on top of you as her lips were busy marking the skin of your neck. “You know that your mom is home, right?” You ask, running out of breath already, just to hear a muffled attempt of your girlfriend to pronounce slurred words. “I locked the door, it’s fine.”

You figured what Shauna’s idea of a perfect gift was when you were about to take off her flannel and she immediately stopped you. She was begging you to let her fuck you while you wear it and you could swear that her pupils got bigger than usual.

You made a pitiful sound as her teeth dig into your neck, claiming you and brushing her warm tongue right on top of the recent wound. Your hands were on her head, fingers getting lost between her dark hair, as you were nearly melting under her. Shauna, on the other hand, was fierce and while doing a very good job on your neck, her right hand was exploring your upper body. The coldness of her fingertips made you squeak when she got under your shirt and slowly scratched your stomach. Soon she was already playing with your nipples, pinching and squeezing as much as she wanted to and it was driving you crazy already. “Shauna-“ You tried to catch her attention and beg her to just fuck you but she interrupts you.

“Patience.” Her tone is firm as she mutters her words, this time leaving your neck alone to give your lips lots of quick pecks as a way to shut you up. It worked every time. On her knees between your legs, she takes her time at finishing unbuttoning her flannel that you were wearing, staring at you intensely. She lifts the cute white shirt that you were wearing underneath up to your chest and gets down on you. Her face is inches away from your skin and you feel your clit throbbing as you anticipate everything in your head.

You were forced to cover your own mouth to avoid any loud moans when Shauna’s tongue met your stomach. Her hands were moving through your sides and no matter how awkward you could possibly find; she was always looking at you feeling completely mesmerized even by your tiniest reaction to her touch and while wearing her clothes. It takes her seconds to unzip and undo your jeans and you help her to toss it on the floor. Unlike your jeans, your damp panties didn’t get the same faith. Instead, Shauna just pulled them down to your ankles and you accidentally whine, excited to feel her or anything coming from her. It didn’t take longer before Shauna was kissing your inner thighs purposefully close to your core. Her grip was tight on your legs, forcing you to spread them as far as you could.

“Stop teasing.” You cooed. Better, you begged. Giving up on quieten your moans, your hands went straight to the bed and firmly grabbed the sheets. Shauna didn’t seem as desperate as you, of course, and she was enjoying making you squirm under her. It was her favorite view. “Just be quiet.” Impatiently, she slaps your thigh and the sharp sound fills the room along with an unexpected moan of yours. She kisses your thighs for a few more seconds, holding them in place and exposing your wet pussy completely, and after what it felt like hours, she goes back to meet you.

You groan in annoyance, completely shocked by how she just left you hanging. Your lips parted, ready to complain or say anything to make Shauna get back there but she was faster and your attempt to mutter a few words changed to a gasp as you feel her fingers barely rubbing up and down on your soaked pussy, feeling all of you. “How are you so wet already?” She chuckles and you roll your eyes. “Shut up. Can you just-“

Your words were cut by a breathy whimper as you feel two of your girlfriend’s fingers entering your pussy. You were so soaked that it was almost embarrassing how easily it went all in. Then, you understood why Shauna left your legs, she wanted to look at you. Her eyes were so intense on you that it could dig holes onto your skin if she wanted to. Instead, she was just enjoying you feeling her touches and wanted to memorize every second of it. As you squirmed under her, Shauna’s fingers began to slowly pump into you, in and out in a tortuous pace just to see you beg.

“Please…” You panted looking into her eyes. She smirks but the rhythm doesn’t change. She has to hear it. “Please what?” Just like expected, she insists on forcing you to say exactly what you want. On forcing you to submit completely and just enjoy her touch. And as usual, you obey it.

“Faster.” Your words are like an inaudible hiss or hush but urgent like oxygen. She nods subtly with a proud look in her face and gives in to your wish. A squelch sound began to echo around the room thanks to how fast Shauna was shoving her fingers inside of you and curling up at the right spot, making you squirm violently and scream almost immediately. You didn’t even care about being loud anymore. Not when Shauna Shipman was fucking you like that.

Your hips started to slowly move, grinding and following Shauna’s fingers pace inside of you. Your moans were getting louder as her movements were getting sloppier. You were both panting and sweating together and the look in your girlfriend’s eyes was almost hypnotic. “You like this?” She murmured and you nodded frantically, whimpering and gasping for air softly, rocking your hips and feeling your legs getting shaky and tense as Shauna was feeling your spongy walls squeezing her fingers tighter. Your breath was getting heavier as you were pathetically trying to ride her fingers, lifting your weight from the mattress to feel her going deeper even if just a little more. Shauna noticed your despair and gave you what you wanted by pumping firmly and fast but making sure to fill all of you. With her thumb, she started to rub your swollen clit in messy circles and you gripped her shoulders as you felt your orgasm building up quickly.

Your grip was so strong that Shauna felt your nails digging into her skin even though her shoulders were covered by one of her famous flannels and she lets out a painful groan but smiled as soon as she realized what was about to happen. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl?” She whispers and you can’t manage to answer. It was too intense, too overwhelming.

It took a few more thrusts before your back automatically arched and your fingers squeezed the fabric of your girlfriend’s clothes as you orgasm. You moan her name like a chant over and over again, rolling your eyes back and feeling your inner walls compressing against her fingers, pushing them away. Following your body’s orders, Shauna slowed the pace before she could gently pull her soaked fingers out of you and the act made you groan as you adjusted yourself to the empty feeling.

When you take a look back at your girlfriend, she has an alluring expression in her face. Dreamy eyes and halfway open lips just enough to help her breath. You smile tenderly as she kisses your forehead, trying to recover from the intense climax.

“I changed my mind. Maybe you should buy some new flannels for me. We need to try all of them.”

[ultrone]

୧ ‧₊˚ look after you ! 🛹

jackieshauna with skater!gf ✫ u hurt yourself while skating and ur gfs take care of you <33 angst n fluff, 2.9k wc

💥 ⏆   : 🩹 ﹢

the clock struck 3:45 pm, and the bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. collecting your physics book and backpack, you said goodbye to kevyn, your usual seatmate in your last block, and made your way to your locker. inside, you unloaded your heavy backpack and retrieved your skateboard, neatly stashed at the back.

each morning, shauna would give you and jackie a ride to school. however, for the journey back home, you often preferred to skate. while you'd rather ride with your girlfriends, they were tied up with soccer practice almost every day. nevertheless, it didn't bother you; after all, you spent most of your time with them anyway, and you genuinely enjoyed skating. the sensation of the breeze against your skin, the rhythmic clatter of wheels on the pavement, combined with your favorite music, felt very soothing and therapeutic.

once you stepped onto the school’s parking lot, you quickly placed your board on the ground and hopped onto it with your usual ease. the trip back home wasn't too long, just about 10 to 15 minutes on your skateboard. however, occasionally, you'd take a different route through the nearby park or empty parking areas, extending your ride for fun or to practice some tricks along the way.

honestly, you were relieved when your girlfriends had practice at the same time you skated. although they don’t mind, they've been a bit worried because you've been getting hurt quite often.

you've been skating for a while now, but recently, you've been putting extra effort into mastering some new tricks. your recent focus has been on different kickflip variations, and you've also started working on your grind and slides. while you've only ended up with some scratches and bruises so far, nothing too unusual, your girlfriends can be a bit nagging about it. jackie even suggested getting you a helmet, but you brushed it off, saying helmets are for "losers"—even shauna chuckled at the idea, so jackie let it go. nevertheless, they were genuinely concerned and insistent about you taking it easy. but of course, now that they had no eyes on you, you practiced and fell as much as you could without a care in the world. and if you were being honest, you enjoyed the extra attention and affection they showered you with when you were injured.

around eight minutes into your skating session, your stomach started growling. the lunch today was a burger with one of the toughest patties you've ever bitten into, along with some dry ass fries, so you tossed your tray and decided to skip lunch altogether. just as you were cringing at the memory of the unappetizing cafeteria food, your eyes lit up when you saw the glowing sign of the "pearl diner," renowned for serving the best milkshakes in wiskayok. without a second thought, you hopped off your skateboard and went in, ordering one to go.

now, with your refreshing and delicious drink in hand, you resumed your journey back home, taking a slight detour to the left, heading towards the park nearest to your house.

now that you had reached your destination, fortunately finding it empty, you cranked up your music all the way up and began taking longer strides, picking up speed. for the first few minutes, you warmed up with a few ollies, pushing yourself to go as fast as possible, and occasionally sipping from the milkshake in your hand. you were so accustomed to high speeds that you didn't bother stowing away your backpack and drink. the thought of falling seemed distant, as you were feeling particularly confident today.

once you felt confident enough, you rode towards the stairs that led to the parking lot. there was a bar dividing them in the middle, and you deemed it the perfect spot to practice your slides. the timing couldn't be better, as the park was completely empty, sparing you from any karens scolding you for supposedly ruining the bar's paint, which, according to them, had been "funded by the neighborhood's taxes," you mimicked mentally in a mock high-pitched voice as you rolled your eyes.

approaching the railing, you took one last stride, placing both feet on the board in an ollie position, ready to execute your trick. as you got close to it, you performed an ollie, and the middle of your board landed perfectly on the bar, allowing for a smooth slide. however, the impact was stronger than you anticipated, causing you to fall hard against it. by the time you were nearing the end of the slide, your skateboard broke in half, resulting in a harsh fall to the ground. in the process, your drink spilled, and your face slid against the pavement.

"hngh-" you grunted, feeling a loud ringing in your ears and too weak to stand up. you realized you must have hit your head pretty hard as your face felt numb. not only that, but your hands and knees burned, likely from scratches. lying flat on the ground, you pulled out your earbuds, finding the music too much to bear. you remained in that position for a couple of minutes until you started to feel the floor beneath your face becoming very wet. shit, now my face is going to be all sticky from the milkshake, you thought, assuming the wetness was from your spilled drink, too lightheaded to detect the metallic odour instead of sweetness.

it wasn’t until you heard two car doors shutting loudly, followed by a pair of hurried footsteps, that you snapped back to your senses.

the world swirled around you, a dizzying blend of pain and confusion. your skateboard lay in pieces beside you, and the taste of blood lingered on your lips. the metallic scent was unmistakable now—definitely not from a spilled milkshake. you groaned, trying to push yourself up, but your limbs felt like lead.

“what the hell happened here?” shauna’s voice cut through the haze. she knelt beside you, her soccer cleats digging into the gravel. her eyes widened as she took in the sight of your battered face. “jackie, get over here!”

jackie appeared at shauna’s side, her expression shifting from curiosity to concern. “whoa, what-”

“look at her!” shauna gestured at you, her anger palpable. “that damn skateboard-”

“shauna, focus,” jackie interrupted. “we need to help her.”

you blinked at them, their faces coming into focus. they both stared at you with concern etched on their faces, moving in sync as jackie dropped to her knees beside you as well.

“hey,” jackie said gently, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. “can you hear us? do you know your name?”

you managed a weak nod. “y/n,” you whispered. “i… i think i hit my head.”

shauna’s hands were surprisingly gentle as she examined your face. “fuck, those scratches are deep. we need to get you to a hospital.”

“no hospitals,” you protested, wincing as jackie dabbed at your wounds with a tissue from her pocket. “i’ll be fine.”

shauna scoffed. “fine? you’re bleeding all over the place, y/n. we’re taking you to the er.”

“but my skateboard,” you mumbled, feeling absurdly attached to the broken pieces beside you.

jackie exchanged a glance with shauna. “we’ll worry about the skateboard later,” she said firmly. “right now, let’s focus on getting you patched up.”

and just like that, they hoisted you up, one on each side. their strength surprised you—they were soccer players, after all. they half-carried, half-dragged you toward the car. shauna took the driver's seat, placing your backpack on the passenger seat, while jackie sat in the back with you, letting your head rest on her legs.

you knew shauna was mad without needing to look at her. all the signs were there—the slight narrowing of her eyes, the clenched jaw, the sharp breaths. she was always the more reserved of the two, preferring her actions to speak for her rather than voicing her opinions. but there was a difference between the coldness she typically expressed toward things she disliked and the hot rage you felt radiating off her now. “you shouldn't have been such an idiot on the skateboard,” shauna snapped, her words practically boiling as they escaped.

her words stung, but you couldn't argue with her. you'd been asking for it, constantly pushing yourself to do crazier and riskier tricks for no real reason other than pure fun and self-satisfaction. despite repeated warnings from both jackie and shauna to take it easy, wear protective gear, and be cautious, you had dismissed their concerns as mere anxiety and overprotectiveness.

“i'm sorry. i won't do that again,” you mumbled, wincing as the bumpiness of the road jarred against your already aching body.

shauna narrowed her eyes even further, her rage still simmering. “you're damn right you won't,” she muttered.

jackie interjected with a more composed tone. “hey, take it easy on her,” she said, her fingers curled around your arm. you noticed that jackie's grip was comforting, not constraining. “she didn't mean to fall,” she added, her gaze fixed on shauna. shauna turned her attention to jackie, shifting her focus away from you. “don't defend her. she's an idiot.”

“maybe,” jackie responded, holding shauna's gaze steadily. “but right now, our priority should be making sure she's okay.” shauna didn't retreat from the argument, her lips forming a pout. “don't act like this is the first time she’s put herself in danger with that stupid skateboard.”

shauna's piercing stare returned to you, still cold and scathing. "i said i was sorry," you whispered, trying to sound braver than you currently felt. the throbbing pain in your face served as a reminder that picking this fight might not have been the wisest decision.

“i know,” shauna said, her voice cold. “but i'm sick of worrying about you and your stupid skateboard.”

the words stung more than the road rash on your palms. tears welled up in your eyes, and you hastily blinked them away. you didn't know why, but her criticism felt so much harsher than it should have. perhaps it was because you were still reeling from the fall, or maybe it was simply the adrenaline wearing off. regardless, her comment landed with the force of a slap, leaving you feeling hurt and ashamed, like a child scolded for an innocent mistake.

jackie watched as you attempted to wipe away the tears stinging your eyes. "hey," she said, her tone softening. "she doesn't really mean it," she whispered. "she's just worried about you." shauna rolled her eyes at jackie's comforting words, finding them overly optimistic. shauna was always direct—if she had an issue, she would tell you, no sugarcoating necessary. you remained silent, your lip trembling slightly.

shauna's gaze softened a bit as she noticed the tears in your eyes, but instead of apologizing or offering comfort, she simply frowned. "are you crying?"

jackie, on the other hand, reached out to wipe your tears with her thumb. "don't be so harsh," she said quietly toward shauna. "stop it."

the echoes of your girlfriends' arguments reached your ears as you drifted in and out of consciousness during the car ride to the hospital. their heated whispers gradually transformed into a soothing murmur; it was shauna's gentle voice that finally lulled you into slumber.

when you next opened your eyes, you found yourself in a hospital bed, shauna and jackie standing by your side. a bright bulb dangled above, and the walls were painted in a calming shade of blue. before you had a chance to ask any questions, jackie turned to shauna and whispered something in her ear.

shauna nodded in response to jackie's words, taking a deep breath before turning her attention back to you. her expression softened as she gazed down at you, the earlier anger replaced by a more caring demeanor. she reached for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, a gesture of tenderness and affection. "how are you feeling?" she asked, her voice gentle yet concerned.

as the fog in your mind began to clear, you let out a soft groan. "my face hurts," you whispered, feeling sluggish and disoriented. shauna nodded slowly, her eyes reflecting worry. "yeah, you hit your head pretty hard," she replied, maintaining her gentle tone.

"the doctor says you'll be fine, but they want you to stay in for the night just in case," jackie added, eliciting a disapproving grunt from you. "are you thirsty?" she asked, a soft and caring look in her eyes.

you nodded faintly in response to jackie's question, sensing the dryness in your throat and mouth. "can you get me some water?" you mumbled, too tired to do so yourself. "of course, i'll be right back," jackie said, giving your forehead a sweet kiss before leaving the room. shauna stayed by your side, her eyes focused on you as her fingers gently combed through your hair.

“i didn't mean what i said back there," she said softly, her eyes reflecting remorse. "i was too harsh, i know," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. she paused for a moment, studying your face.

"it's okay," you mumbled, though you weren't entirely convinced of that statement. perhaps she was right—you had been a complete idiot on the skateboard. maybe it was time to cut back, if not quit for a while. "sorry for worrying you," you continued, feeling guilty for the stress you had caused them.

shauna let out a soft laugh, her face softening further. "you don’t need to apologize, idiot." she paused, contemplating if she should add anything else. "you did nothing wrong. it was just a dumb accident," she emphasized, her voice comforting and reassuring. "besides, i was just mad because i was worried about you," she added, giving you a gentle smile. "just promise me you'll take it easy from now on," she urged, her eyes unwavering as she waited for your response. you nodded, letting out a breath of relief at her understanding. "i promise," you agreed.

as she continued to gently comb through your hair, you released a soft sigh, feeling the stress beginning to dissipate. her touch was soothing and reassuring, a stark contrast to the rough encounter with the pavement moments earlier. “you know i love you, right?” she said, her thumb gently rubbing the side of your face that remained intact.

"i know," you muttered softly, meeting shauna's eyes as you tried to ignore the stinging sensation in your face. shauna's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and she gave you a gentle smile. “you’re an idiot for trying something like that, but i love you anyway.” you laughed softly at her comment, despite the dull ache still lingering in your bones. “i love you too,” you replied softly.

shauna smiled at your response, her eyes glowing with genuine affection as she looked at your face. just as she was about to reply, you were hit with a sudden jolt of pain as the cut on your scalp began to throb. you cringed slightly, trying to regain your composure. despite attempting to mask your discomfort, it wasn’t enough to hide your ache. shauna noticed, her expression shifting to one of concern. “do you need anything?” she asked, her gaze locked on yours.

“a kiss?” you suggested with a giddy smile.

despite the lingering pain in your face, you couldn't help but smirk at shauna's flustered reaction. “come here," you jokingly commanded, motioning for her to come closer. shauna let out a soft giggle, her cheeks turning a delightful shade of pink.

she stepped closer to your bed, lowering her face to match yours. “you’re such a dork,” she teased with a gentle grin, her warm breath brushing against your skin. with a tender touch, she brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your damp face. without hesitation, she leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, her touch soft and caring, easing the ache. you savored the kiss, starting gently and gradually becoming more passionate as it continued. “mhm,” you murmured, feeling the pain melt away as your lips encountered hers.

shauna broke off the kiss, smiling widely. “are you sure you're feeling okay?” she asked, concern evident in her voice.

"yeah, i'm definitely feeling better," you replied playfully, your tone flirty yet lighthearted.

“i see my two lovebirds have made up,” jackie interrupted with a smile as she returned with a glass of water.

you gave jackie a cheeky smile as she placed the glass of water on the bedside table. “now drink up,” she said firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument. “yes, mom,” you mumbled playfully, leaning forward to take a sip of water. as the liquid soothed your parched throat, you felt some of the discomfort ease away. “feeling better?” jackie asked, leaning down to gently caress the side of your face that was unharmed.

“a little," you mumbled, offering her a smile, your voice still hoarse from the accident.

"good," jackie said with a soft smile, leaning in to give you a tender kiss on the lips, which you eagerly returned. you separated to let out a small yawn, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up to you. both jackie and shauna chuckled softly, finding your tiredness endearing.

"i'm sleepy," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper as another yawn escaped you. jackie and shauna exchanged a knowing glance, their smiles widening in amusement. "of course you are," shauna said gently, moving a little closer to intertwine her fingers with yours. "you should get some rest," she suggested, her tone soothing and reassuring.

"as punishment for getting us worried sick, you'll have to endure being sandwiched between us in this small hospital bed all night, because we're staying," jackie declared with a playfully stern expression, prompting you to scoot over as she settled into the bed beside you. shauna followed suit, sliding her arm under your head so that you could rest comfortably against her neck. jackie shifted to her side, wrapping her arm around your waist and planting a sweet kiss on your shoulder.

"aw, is that so?" you mumbled, a smile on your face as you found yourself snug between the two of them in the cramped hospital bed, your head comfortably cradled in shauna's arm. the closeness felt reassuring, surrounded by their warmth and affection.

"we're not going anywhere until you're all healed up," jackie declared, her tone playful yet sincere as she leaned in closer, pulling you even tighter. the gentle pressure from their bodies provided a comforting sense of warmth, their mere presence enough to ease the ache in your battered limbs.

"is this supposed to be a punishment? because it feels more like a reward to me," you mumbled, releasing another soft yawn.

your girlfriends just rolled their eyes and chuckled softly, relieved to see you back to your usual self. the three of you remained in that cozy position throughout the night, simply enjoying each other's company.

[jesterofcringe]

Haunted House Yellowjackets x Reader featuring [in order of appearance] : Shauna Shipman, Taissa Turner, Jackie Taylor, Natalie Scatorccio, Lottie Matthews, and Van Palmer

★ You find yourself working as a scare actor for the weekend, what happens when your partner walks through the haunted house and you accidentally scare the daylights out of them? ★ [modern au by proxy because of mention of cell phone usage lmao] ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Shauna Shipman

★ You manage to scare her pretty good- in return you're gifted a bloody nose.

★ She's speed walking through the haunted house, just trying to walk through it as fast as possible so she can get out without being too spooked- she turns a corner and there you are.

★ You jump out of her and it's absolutely her last straw. She screams bloody murder and punches the ever loving shit out of you. She's all frazzled and breathing heavily while you stand there holding your nose like :0

★ Before you can say anything, she huffs and stomps down the hallway, walking through the rest of the house with a scowl on her face and blood on her knuckles. You don't hear from her until you call her after your shift.

"You shouldn't have scared me like that."

"It's a goddamn haunted house what were you expecting??"

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Taissa Turner

★ Tai is 100% unamused.

★ You jump out of her and she does get a bit startled, but she immediately deadpans after the momentary scare. There's an awkward couple of seconds where you're just standing there with zombie arms and she's staring at you like 🤨

"Was that scary? Like even remotely?"

"Not really."

★ In an attempt to make the situation less awkward, you swing a fake axe and lightly tap her in the stomach. She doesn't budge and rolls her eyes. Later that night as you're getting out of costume she proceeds to point out all the little things she thinks your group could've done better.

"Dude it was a haunted house put on by college kids of course it was gonna look corny."

"I'm just saying the blood was way too fake, it looked like water."

"Probably because we made it with water-"

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Jackie Taylor

★ Jackie actually doesn't walk through the haunted house. She straight up refuses.

★ She claims it's because she won't have the time, but you know it's because she's too scared.

[you assure her that there's nothing wrong with being scared, but she refuses to admit it]

★ Even though your costume calls for you to be wearing a mask, she does your makeup for you. Very 2020 clowncore type of makeup- and it comes out pretty cool! Except, you do still need to wear your mask and she's pretty upset about it.

"You don't think my makeup looks good? :("

"I think it looks awesome but the mask is part of my costume!"

":((("

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Natalie Scatorccio

★ Nat has this whole "Tough Guy" facade going on, but you can still tell you were able to scare her, even if just a little bit.

★ She goes through the majority of the haunted house with a complete straight face, but she admitted later that she was internally freaking out.

★ When she gets to your hallway, she's supposed to walk through while you appear out of seemingly nowhere [a well placed hole in the wall] and follow her down the hallway. For the most part, it was a great way to get guests to run into the next room for another big scare, but Natalie doesn't make it easy for you. She stands there and watches you slowly lumber over to her, a smile threatening to cross her face once she realized it was you.

"What are you suppose to be?"

"A zombie."

"Right."

"I'm trying to stay in character but you're making it incredibly difficult-"

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Lottie Matthews

★ You scare the shit out of Lottie before she even makes it to the haunted house.

★ Despite the fact that she loves Halloween, she isn't huge on feeling scared. Even with this in mind, she still wants to support you and show up. As soon as she texts you that she's there, you're bolting out to her car- you forgot an important part of your costume in her backseat, and decide to grab it while you still have the time.

★ All she sees is what looks like an axe murderer, sprinting full speed towards her car.

★ Her windows are up all the way but you can still hear her scream her lungs out. You remind her its you and comfort her to the best of your ability through the window on the drivers side while she white knuckles the steering wheel.

"Oh my gods I'm so sorry!"

"... you're costume is great..."

"Are you ok?"

"...I just need a minute-"

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Van Palmer

★ Van straight up laughs at you.

★ You were stationed in front of the ticket booth, tasked with giving the guests a little scare before they got to the actual attraction. You'd snarl at some, grab at others, and you even followed after one guy after he called your costume lame [his friends gladly recorded his reaction when he finally turned around and damn near passed out.]

★ You're quite confident in your scaring abilities... up until Van walks past.

★ Initially she completely walks past you, but then she proceeds to do a double take and immediately starts giggling.

"What, is it bad?"

"No it's..." to her credit, she's trying very hard not to laugh at you, but she really can't help it, "...Yeah it's pretty fucking bad."

★ You pout at her, and it only makes it worse. She bursts out laughing before apologizing and hugging you as best as she can without getting your makeup on her clothes.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ [i wanted to include more people but i ran out of colors so might write a part two for the rest of em, idk yet]

[tabithatwo]

Somebody sent me an ask on another platform about the way jackie seems more engaged in sex/almost seems to enjoy sex with travis in a way that is noticeably different than with jeff, and you know what LET’S TALK ABOUT IT !! I feel like that’s an understudied scene tbh and jackie does react so differently than her really haunted quiet reaction and necklace grab tooth brushing post jeff in the pilot so!

The first thing it speaks to in my opinion is actually her suicidality. Jackie had decided to give up on living. She was passively suicidal but like…calling it passive under those circumstances is almost a disservice, she knew she WOULD die, she had decided to die, and she’d said she wasn’t going to die a virgin. So when she had sex with Travis she finally checked that box. There’s a sense of relief to it. And right after she says “so…that was sex.” Which is not exactly indicative of deep enjoyment.

I also think that Jackie was legitimately worn down by Jeff. I think what we see of her in the pilot is a very numb, fulfilling her “duties” response. It’s fucking heartbreaking and there’s history (and, I think, trauma) there. It wasn’t like that with Travis. I think that’s perhaps the first instance of Jackie actually CHOOSING without pressure to engage in sex. Which, even if you don’t enjoy it, even if you aren’t attracted to the person, even if you’re suicidal and doing it bc of your best friend who you’re in love with who has broken your heart, can feel very freeing when you’re not used to feeling like you have a choice.

I also think we see shauna experience pleasure (way more than jackie imo) during the sex with jeff in the pilot. Which is like, entirely about jackie and entirely about shauna. Jeff is just a conduit. Jackie took travis to Shauna’s bed. She stared at shauna over her shoulder as they walked away. She gave him a speech about love and heartbreak that was clearly about shauna right before. So something similar could for sure be happening there.

I didn’t personally read Jackie as truly having a great sexual experience in that scene, but I think she did feel relief of some sort and it’s likely bound up in a mixture of all three of those things (which are all equal parts as heartbreaking as everything else our favorite tragic saint lesbian haunting the narrative went through, excuse me while I sob)

[mayasaurusss]

Having a situationship with Shauna in the wilderness headcanons:

A/n: Guys and gays, a few things. I wrote this in like fifteen minutes, and also I've never wrote either headcanons or explicit sexual content, so consider me an amateur for this. I only did till the doomcoming episode cause I haven't finished watching the first season. Tell me if you'd like a longer version of this with a full on smut scene. I feel so embarrassed of myself.

You and Shauna don't start off as friends. You were just another girl on the team that she did not pay attention to.

When the plane crashes, all of you start to rely on each other more and more and as time passes, Shauna starts to warm up to you.

When you find the lake and take a swim, you and Shauna both decide to pounce on Van.

Later, you and her talk together on the rocky shore of the lake and discover your mutual love for literature. Shauna secretly hopes to make Jackie jealous but wouldn't dare to say that to you.

The first night at the cabin, you and her talk together well after midnight, whispering in eachothers ears and giggling. This makes Jackie roll her eyes and clinging in her sheets in annoyance.

During senace, Shauna clings close to you terrified, when Lottie starts to workship unknown gods, much to Jackie's dismay.

After the Lottie incident Taissa decides to sleep in the attic to prove it's not haunted, Shauna follows close behind her. As you too were making your way to the attic to keep them company, you hear Shauna and Taissa talk, talk of a 'baby'. You can't quite make up what they're saying but are smart enough to understand. You leave them alone and go back down stairs.

Shauna watches you when you chop the wood for the fire: all those weeks in the wilderness and the physical effort you had to endure (usually doomed to the heavier task) had made you stronger. After Jackie so graciously spilled Shauna's secret out, she doesn't do as much as work as she did before: during the afternoon she sits outside talking in the light and pure air of the forest. Sometimes she writes in her journals (so secretly, she wouldn't want you to read her most secret fantasies) reads the few books she brough with her or, most of the time, spies you chopping off the wood.

Something about how you move your body makes her shift, she thinks she looks like one of those horny ladies in old movies watching their husbands or the new mechanic work.

You feel her eyes on you, but when you watch her she's caught up in something else.

Food begins to be scarce, no one eats much but whenever you have a bit of food you instantly give it to Shauna, making her worry for your health but she accepts it anyway, she's really hungry after all.

When the team is sure to die, Jackie has another idea, to host a doomcoming.

All the girls wear their nicest clothes, adorning their heads with flower crowns. You get into one of your best dresses, leaving your arms exposes and unknowingly sparking a heat in Shauna's body.

She watches you drink the alcohol Mari made, how you talk to others and can't help but want you all for herself.

Shauna feels her eyes shifting painfully, her vision goes blurry and she branches herself on a stump. She's hungry now. She doesn't know why, she just wants something to eat. She looks at you.

At one point, everything starts to blurry together and you fell asleep. You woke up at the cabin, someone had brought you back. You're tied on a chair and your teammates are around you.

You feel everyone starting to touch you, but when Mari tires to kiss you, Shauna feels her blood boiling. She roughly shoves her friend away and sits on your lap, her mouth on yours kissing you sloppily and grinding on your thigh while everyone looked.

The others watch, their eyes fixated on the both of you, some try to get behind you and touch you from there but Shauna clings to you so tightly no one can get close to your skin.

You feel embarrassed, you feel hot and bothered but to Shauna, this is a way to make you hers, letting everyone watch her make your mouth and your body hers is her way to make you two bond and claim you as hers and only hers.

[zeezelweazel]

something about lottie getting mean towards reader bc reader is giving her the silent treatment after a big fight, and lottie feels like being mean is the only way to get her attention. and they end up having angsty sex ? 🤭🤭🤭

Lottie Matthews| Fool me once, fool me twice|

______________________________________

MEAN LOTTIE OMG

I love reading angsty sex but I've never written it before so I hope it's good. Also sorry this took quite some time

I kinda don't like how this turned out

TW: mild degradation, mentions of cheating, fingering (both receiving), afab female reader

____________________________________________________

The girls knew that having so many couples within the friend group ment that when a fight between them inevitably happens chaos endures. It happens with Shauna and Jackie all the time. Tai and Van too, sometimes. But it was never you and Lottie. You were the sweet couple known for communication and being honest and open with eachother.

But not this time. She was hiding something from you. It was obvious, with the way she seemed to be so set on stopping you from opening the second drawer on her bedside table. You weren't snooping around, obviously not. She told you to find her old necklace and in her words ' it's somewhere in my bedside table '.

She appeared out of thin air when you went to open the second drawer and immediately closed it shut. She looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite place.

"You can't open that drawer."

You were confused. Lottie never got defensive or possessive over anything. Plus you two don't have any secrets... Right?

"Why?"

The conversation escalated into a fight as both of you started yelling. The fight ended with you leaving Lottie's house and slamming the door.

The next few days were more than awkward. You were set on ignoring Lottie even if Van told you time and time again that it was probably nothing. What if she was hiding some other girl's fucking underwear in there?

Lottie decided to give you some space. But after a week you were still avoiding her, not even sparing her a glance much less speak to her.

She was getting frustrated. It was unfair how you expected her to let you in in every aspect of her life. She was acting like a child she knew that much, but she couldn't just sit by and watch you slowly detach yourself from her.

It was probably not the best way to get your attention but it was the only way Lottie could think of. So she started being mean to you. Saying out of pocket things when you were doing absolutely nothing. She had something bitchy to say every time you saw her.

It was getting on your nerves.

The glass spilled during a scrimmage. You hadn't played so well on your last game so you wanted to train as hard as you could. If only Lottie would just shut up. She has a comment for every little mistake that you made. After you missed an easy pass and she straight up laughed at you, you just stormed off the pitch practically running to the locker room.

"Lottie what the fuck?! I don't care if you two broke up or whatever but we're a team. Go and make this right. You won't cone back on this pitch unless Y/N is with you."

Jackie has had enough of your shit. Someone has to get you two to short it out. Lottie grumbled and started jogging towards the locker room.

You had tears of anger in your eyes as you threw your stuff in your bag. You are so done with Lottie fucking Matthews. Next time you see ger in front of you, you swear you'll slap her.

"Hey."

You sharply turned around to meet her eyes. Lottie was awkwardly staring at you, like a child who was forced to apologize by their mom. You scoffed and continued packing your things.

"Oh so now you stop ignoring me."

Lottie was thinking of what to say until she noticed you walking towards the door. She quickly stepped in front of you, her much taller frame completely blocking the door. You look up at her hoping that your glare would be enough to discourage her and make her step away from the exit. Of course Lottie being the stubborn bitch that she is, she didn't budge an inch.

You push her against the wall, your hands tightly fisting the collar of her shirt. Your bodies are pressed together and you swear you can feel her heart beating wildly against your breasts.

You haven't touched her in weeks. Spoken to her in weeks. And yet here you are. Faces only inches away, hands itching to touch and grope, eyes locked together intensely.

It happens faster than a lighting bolt hitting the earth but the scorching heat it leaves behind is all the same. Your lips are crashing together, hot and wet and angry and your hands are returning to familiar territory, on the sides of her neck and her biceps and then they slip under her shirt.

Neither of you pull back, the stupidity of the situation clear to the both of you, instead your panting breaths mix together and fog your brains even more. The hazy atmosphere turns toxic when Lottie takes the liberty of pushing her hands under your bra to find pebbled nipples.

You hiss and gasp under her hands. She still makes you shiver with every touch. You almost melt into her arms but then you remember. How she was being a bitch to you for no reason, how she got under your skin on purpose.

You don't waste any time. Your hand shoves it's way down her shorts and find her wet and desperate. She throws her head back and you almost wince when it loudly bangs against the door.

"Oh, fuck, Y/N."

You missed her. You missed her whines and her breathless pleas and how she clenches around your finger every time you stroke her clit. You missed how she strokes your breast while her hand caresses your inner thigh. How she enters with two fingers because she already knows how wet you are.

Your hands are hurried and your breaths are mingled with eachother. You're both still half dressed and you look at Lottie and you know she's close and you are too. You reach your peak together and your thigs are shaking and Lottie's legs give out and suddenly you're both panting on the floor.

After the lust frenzy dies out you realise that you've just had sex with your girlfriend who's been relentlessly mean to you for the past few days. You glare at her and she awkwardly stares at the ground.

"You have a ton shit to explain Matthews. But first I need a very long apology."

____________________________________________________

[shaunamilfman]

you must like me for me [3]

summary: You weren't sure what you did to piss off Shauna Shipman, but you've been on the receiving end of her death glares for just as long as you can remember. If looks could kill you'd certainly be six feet under, but hey–it's kind of hot, right? For better or worse, everything changes after a run-in at a party. part 1 | part 2

“Hey, are you still awake?” Shauna asks quietly, voice barely loud enough to be heard.

You groan as you bury your head further into the crook of her neck, half-exhausted and half-amused by the familiarity of the situation. “Not again, Shauna.”

Shauna laughs, the sound vibrating against your skin as she rubs a hand over your back. “Not that. Although…” 

You lift your head up to shoot her a playful glare, though the effect is softened somewhat by your tousled hair. It wasn’t your fault that Shauna just couldn’t keep her hands to herself, but you know from experience how ridiculous it made you look. “No.”

She meets your gaze with a mischievous smile and you feel a sudden rush of affection at the sight. Shauna wields that smile like a weapon, turning the most mundane moments into something that threatens to take your breath away. If she was consciously aware of how much it affected you, you weren’t sure, but Shauna’s oblivious enough that you feel safe to assume it isn’t intentional.

“Lame,” she teases, but there’s a warmth in her voice that washes all the tension from your body.

“What are you doing on Friday?”

You pause, a flicker of uncertainty passing through your eyes. This question felt dangerous, but you couldn’t help the surge of hope that went through you. “Depends on who’s asking.”

Shauna breathes out a laugh. “Jackie’s going to be visiting some family next weekend, so I figured we could…” She hesitates, leaving the question hanging in the air.

“Could?”

“Do something. Just you and me.”

“What? Like a date?”

“You think I’d ask you on a date?” There’s a strange edge to Shauna’s voice, one that prickles at your defenses in a way you don’t appreciate. You roll over to hide your face from view, feeling as if your disappointment was almost palpable. “Just wanted to see if you were up for a hookup.”

“Forget about it. I have plans anyway,” you mutter, staring particularly hard at a crack in her wall to avoid her piercing stare.

“No, you don’t.” Shauna sounds frustrated now, but for the life of you, you can’t figure out why. “I heard you and Nat talking about how you didn’t earlier.”

“What business is it of yours anyway, Shipman?” She flinches in surprise at the use of her last name, scooting out from under you to glare at you. You slip out of bed, pulling your clothes back on as the mood sours.

“It’s my business because you’ve apparently decided to punish me for hurting your feelings,” Shauna spits defensively, clearly caught off guard by the venom in your tone. “It’s not my fault you thought you were irresistible or something.”

“Is that what you think this is? God.” You scoff, incredulous. “Do you even know me?”

“Maybe I don’t. But it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’ve been hiding things from me.”

“Yeah, because you’ve been so good at letting people in.” There’s a bitter edge to your voice as you cross your arms defensively over your chest. You’ve never had a problem looking someone in the eye when you argue with them, but it takes a concentrated effort to meet her steely gaze.

“You knew what this was. It’s not my fault you have a crush on me or something.” 

“I don’t have a crush on you.” The words come out sharper than you intended, a defensive shield against her allegation that you’ve mistakenly turned into a weapon. You know it’s the wrong thing to say the second it leaves your mouth, but you’re too stubborn and hurt to take it back now. She’s dug this hole, and now you’re both just going to have to lie in it.

Shauna’s eyes narrow, turning away from you with a scoff as she stiffly tugs the sheets around her as she stands up. You stare up at her as she walks around the room picking up her clothes, gripping the sheet to her chest to hide herself from view. You roll your eyes. It’s a pointless exercise to hide what you’ve long since memorized: the slope of her shoulders, the curve of her waist, the delicate arch of her back. As if a sheet could erase the memory of mapping the contours of her body with your fingertips, the softness of her lips, or the way her body feels moving against yours. 

“This conversation is going nowhere fast. Just drop it.” You’re on the verge of pleading with her, but you know that it’s futile. When have you ever known Shauna Shipman to let something go? Shauna would press on the wound till it bled, reopening it with every threat and insult until she was satisfied. It was usually a quality you admire, but this is the first time you’ve ever found yourself resenting that.

“You let me lay on your jacket,” Shauna insists.

“Yeah, because apparently all you soccer girls kiss and tell. The last thing I needed was you going around and telling everyone I was a bad fuck because you got twigs in your hair.”

Shauna bristles at the remark, her lips pressing into a hard line. “Oh, trust me, I wasn’t telling anyone.” 

“Yeah, that’s probably because no one would believe you managed to get the stick out of your ass to do it.”

“Well, God forbid I care about things, huh? We can’t all be fucking losers like you.” Shauna’s words feel like a slap in the face, dredging up a mix of embarrassment and resentment that you struggle to contain. It’s difficult to even put into words why it stings, and had she asked you weren’t sure you could explain it. You knew deep down that she was only trying to deflect the situation. Her only goal was just to get one over on you. Still, the bitter weight of resentment makes it difficult to give her the benefit of the doubt just this once.

“A fucking loser, huh? Is that it? God, Shipman. Tell me how you really feel for once.”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Dress it up however you want to but at the end of the day–”

“Fuck you, Shauna,” you spit, your voice trembling as you fight to hold back tears. You rub your eyes reflexively, standing up with a huff as you collect your stuff. Shauna watches you with wide eyes, a look of disbelief that slowly turns into hurt. 

“You’re seriously leaving? It’s the middle of the night. Where are you even going to go?” 

“I’m not doing this anymore. Figure your shit out or leave me out of it.” You don’t stay to see her reaction, grabbing your bag off the floor and walking out the door. 

You hesitate at the bottom of the stairs with some inexplicable hope that she’ll chase after you down the stairs like one of those cheesy romance movies she always loves to make fun of. But the deafening silence envelops you, punctuated only by the slam of your car door.

You flung your bag into the passenger seat, the impact echoing in the car. Frustration boils in your chest as you pounded your hands on the wheel till exhaustion sets in. You rest your head on the steering wheel with a heavy sigh, ignoring the stinging of your palms until you get control of yourself. It might not have been the healthiest outlet, but the urge to cry has disappeared. You can practically feel the weight of Shauna’s eyes as she watches you through her bedroom window, and you weren’t about to give her the satisfaction of your tears.

Pulling your phone out of your bag, you thought for a moment about driving over to Nat’s trailer and crashing there. As much as you knew she’d let you, you knew that it wouldn’t do either of you any favors in the morning. You sigh as you unlock your phone, reluctantly scrolling to your five unanswered texts from Jackie Taylor 

You send her a quick text, not really expecting her to be awake. Storming out of Shauna’s house was all good and dramatic, but you weren’t exactly about to explain to your mom why you were coming home in the middle of the night. Which leaves you with sleeping in your car or–

“Hello?” You ask, answering your phone reflexively.

“Hey!” A cheerful voice answers. That level of excitement should be illegal at this time of night. “Yeah, come on over.”

… 

“I’m not going to bite, you know,” Jackie insists, pouting over at you as you lay ramrod straight on the absolute edge of the bed. You doubt that, after all, she is friends with Shauna, but you shuffle a little closer to appease her. You could feel the warmth radiating off her, a stark contrast to the relative chill of the room. She’d claimed the lion’s share of the blanket, leaving you to clutch at the end as you decide which limbs you were willing to sacrifice to the night air. She was doing you a favor, as much as it pains you to admit, so you let your snarky comment die in your throat.

Jackie’s clear ease in her room only seems to magnify your obvious unease, both due to the unfamiliar location and your earlier fight with Shauna. Being in someone else’s space, especially someone so closely associated with Shauna, only made you more unsettled. You longed for the simple comfort of your own room, the foreign decorations on the walls only serving to remind you that you don’t belong here. Add in how exposed you felt in nothing but your t-shirt and underwear and you’re left with an uncomfortable vulnerability.

Jackie had offered you some of her clothes to wear, but the thought of wearing her frilly pink pajamas made you cringe. You’ve already put up with one indignity too many tonight, and that might have sent you over the edge. The idea of wearing her clothes just felt a little too intimate a view into Jackie Taylor’s life, a bridge you’re hesitant to cross. As the cold seeped through the thin fabric of your t-shirt, you started to regret turning them down, if only for their warmth.

“So,” she says tentatively. “Your party got busted?” There’s a slight edge to the question that you can’t quite place, leaving you on edge as you respond.

“Yeah, the cops showed up and busted the place. Barely managed to get out.” It’s not your best lie, but you hadn’t planned on being questioned about it. Jackie always struck you as the type to take things at face value and you’re regretting not putting more thought into the excuse before you sent it.

“It’s just, there wasn’t a party tonight…” Jackie trails off, uncomfortable and a little embarrassed at having to call you out on such an obvious lie. 

“Like you know every party.” The words slip out without a conscious effort, a futile attempt at deflection. Even as the words leave your mouth, a sinking feeling settles over you. You pause, the thought striking you quickly. 

“You would know every party going on,” you concede with a sigh, rubbing at your eyes as you bury your face in your hands.

“Sorry,” she murmurs, her words carrying an unexpected weight.

You look over at her wryly, resigned to the situation. “Are you apologizing to me for calling me out on lying?”

“Well,” she shrugs, glancing away. “I just feel bad, I guess. Obviously, you were lying for a reason.” Her voice is soft, tinged with an empathy that makes you squirm as it stirs up a mix of guilt and fondness.

“Sorry. I just… Got in an argument with a friend about something. Didn’t want to explain to my mom why I was home earlier, you know?” That seems safe enough. It’s close enough to the truth that you don’t feel bad about continuing to be dishonest about it. You were convinced there was no better guilt trip in the world than Jackie Taylor.

“I’m sure Shauna’s sorry about it.” You smile reflexively, appreciating the attempt at comfort even if it didn’t– 

“I didn’t tell you who I was with.”

Jackie rolls over to face you, her face uncomfortably close to you as she watches you with a pensive expression. She reaches out to put a hand on your arm, giving you an apologetic smile.

“I just figured. I’ve never seen Shauna be so crazy about someone before, you know?” Jackie says earnestly, speaking quietly as if sharing a secret. There’s a weight in her observation that feels significant, and you know it’s going to linger in your thoughts long after the conversation ends. Jackie knows Shauna in ways that you’re not sure you could ever begin to understand, and it might be the only confirmation you’ll ever get that Shauna returns your feelings, at least on some level.

“I honestly thought Shauna would…” Her voice falters, nervously biting at her lip as she considers what to say. “I don’t know what I thought.” There’s a depth to her silence, an unspoken observation that you’re not sure was ever meant for you. It hangs uncomfortably in the air for a moment before she continues as if it never happened.

“But I know that if Shauna cares for you, you must be really special.” You’re almost speechless as the words catch you off guard. There’s a warmth to her you weren’t expecting, and as uncomfortable as you are to be on the receiving end of it, you can’t help but feel at ease in her presence.

“Shauna told you about us?” You ask quietly, a little surprised. The idea of Shauna confiding about your relationship to Jackie when she’d repeatedly sworn you to secrecy made you a little bitter, but leave it to Shauna Shipman to be a hypocrite. You couldn’t be that mad, honestly. You had, after all, told your best friend too, even if it was accidental.

“Shauna tells me everything.” She nods. 

The absolute certainty in her voice makes you smile. “Must be nice. Shauna tells me nothing. But you’re wrong, though.”

Jackie frowns. “How so?”

“I don’t even think Shauna likes me,” you confess. “Let alone be ‘crazy’ about me.”

Jackie sighs, a guilty look on her face as she avoids eye contact. “Shauna’s… complicated.”

You scoff. That was certainly a word for it, not the one you’d choose to use, but a word nonetheless. You were having trouble trying to think of any nice words to describe Shauna with, but you knew that wasn’t entirely fair of you. Shauna had plenty of good traits, you knew, but you were still too upset to give her credit for any of those at the moment. 

Jackie’s fond grin as she reaches over to slap your arm does wonders to ease your growing irritation. “Be nice,” she cautions playfully. “That’s my best friend you’re talking about.”

You offer up a small smile as you look away from her to stare up at the ceiling. Jackie’s words, while well intentioned, have given you a lot to think about. As an expert on all things Shauna, you can’t help but re-contextualize your relationship with Shauna in light of the new information she’s so willingly given you.

“Just… Just think about it. Okay?” Jackie adds after a moment, uncomfortable in the growing silence between you. 

You nod slowly and Jackie seems to accept it, rolling over to face away from you again as she settles in. After a while her breathing evens out enough that you know that she’s fallen asleep, and the repetitive nature of it soothes your racing thoughts as you lie awake long into the night thinking. 

… 

Your eyes narrow as you turn from the screen to glare at Jackie. “You didn’t tell me this was a fucking musical,” you accuse.

Jackie shifts uncomfortably, sheepishly offering you the popcorn bowl as she avoids eye contact. “You didn’t ask?”

“I didn’t– I didn’t ask?”

“Nope,” Jackie confirms, nodding as if the conversation was over. 

She wasn’t technically wrong, as she really hadn’t told you anything about what you were going to be watching. Rather, she caught you trying to sneak out of her bed before she woke up and shot you the most pathetic look you’ve ever seen as she asked you to hang out with her today. Which brought you here: sitting on Jackie Taylor’s couch as you contemplated the consequences of just getting up and leaving. She was faster than you, but you’d at least have the element of surprise if you tried to make a break for the door.

As you start to plan out your escape, you’re interrupted by the sound of a knock before the handle turns. The situation starts to dawn on you as Jackie continues to look suspiciously unconcerned about someone just walking into her house.

“You didn’t,” you mutter under your breath. Jackie gives you a guilty look before plastering on a look of surprise as Shauna comes to a sudden stop as she catches sight of the two of you on the couch.

Shauna doesn’t say a word, but her clenched jaw and restless hands betray her clear irritation. Now would be the perfect time to slip out the door behind her, but you find yourself really enjoying the growing jealousy burning behind her eyes. You’re not entirely sure which of you her ire is directed at, but you think you’d be happy with the result either way.

Leaning back lazily against the couch, you cross one leg over the other as you slowly lift your cup to your mouth, an unfazed look on your face as you savor her attention. Meeting her gaze head on, you refuse to yield, your own resolve reflected in Shauna’s eyes as she stares you down. You feel a familiar thrill at the action, a smug grin playing at your lips as Shauna looks away first.

Her head slowly, dangerously, turns to look at Jackie for an explanation. Except, Jackie’s already halfway out of the room. Jackie gives Shauna a sheepish look as she’s caught leaving, mumbling something about forgetting she had homework due as she books it out of the room. You laugh at the sound of a loud thud, a quiet curse coming from Jackie’s mouth as she trips her way up the stairs back into her bedroom.

You pull Jackie’s jacket tighter around you, the action immediately catching Shauna’s attention as she narrows her eyes. Shauna stalks towards you as she sits on the opposite side of the couch, facing you and crossing her legs as she rests her arms on her thighs. She’s quietly contemplating something as she fiddles with something in her pocket, finally pulling it out and holding it out toward you after a long moment of consideration.

You eye your lighter with no shortage of suspicion, quickly reaching forward to grab it from Shauna’s hand as you surreptitiously check it for damage. Shauna looks irritated as you finally give her your attention, rolling her eyes as you slip it back into your pocket. “You left it at my house last night,” she says simply.

You nod, almost accepting the explanation at face value until a thought occurs to you. “Why did you have it on you?”

“You left it at my house last night,” She repeats slowly, as if talking to a child.

You scoff. “No shit. I mean, you didn’t know I would be here, so why did you have it on you?”

Shauna flushes, looking away suddenly as if Jackie’s TV was the most interesting thing she’s ever seen. She mumbles something under her breath that you can’t quite make out, irritating you further as you snatch the remote off the coffee table and turn it off with a push of a button.

“I knew you’d want it back.” Her eyes are still locked on the now blank TV screen, an unreadable look on her face as she rubs her thumb over the hem of her shorts.

You sigh, sitting the remote back down on the table as you stand up. “Well, I have it back now.” The gesture is clear enough that even Shauna understands, her hand shooting out to grab a handful of your jacket before you can walk away. 

You clench your jaw, your nails digging into your hand as you resist the urge to reach out for her. You’ve grown tired of always being the one to fix things. You want to, so badly, but a part of you rebels against the idea. It feels like you’re standing at a crossroads, and you’re unsure of which path you even want to follow. All you know is the constant ache in your chest, and the feelings you aren’t sure you’re allowed to discuss.

“I just… I wanted an excuse to talk to you,” she admits, finally meeting your eyes and holding your gaze. “I didn’t think I’d see you so soon, obviously. It just felt nice to have.”

“Why?” You ask neutrally. You’re desperate for this to work, but afraid of misinterpreting her actions. The fear of disappointment looms large, overshadowing your longing.

“I don’t have anything else of yours, okay?” She crosses her arms across her chest defensively, making a smile tug at your lips.

“Look, about last night…” she begins, her voice hesitant, almost timid, as if she’s afraid of your reaction. It makes you deeply uncomfortable to hear her like that, so unlike her that you can’t help but give her your full attention. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said that.”

You can see the tension in her shoulders as she prepares for the brunt of your anger, ready for the swift kick she thinks she deserves. When you sit back down on the couch, you don’t do either of those things. Instead, you just nod, accepting her apology with a calmness that clearly catches Shauna off guard. 

You weren’t that upset about the words, really. You’d heard worse, even from Shauna herself. “Yeah… Me too.” You’re a little surprised to find that you actually mean the apology.

Shauna looks unsure, her leg bouncing nervously as she waits for you to continue. As it becomes clear that you’re not planning on saying anything else, her shoulders finally relax, the tension leaking from her body as she waits for your next move.

“That’s it?” She sounds frustrated. “You’re just going to accept my apology, just like that?”

“What else do you want me to say, Shauna? This is how things always go. You get mad, you leave, and then you come back acting like nothing ever happened.”

There’s a moment of quiet understanding that passes between you, a silent acknowledgement of the patterns that have long since defined your relationship. 

“I don’t want to keep doing this,” she confesses, her voice heavy with regret.

“Then do something about it, Shauna,” you say firmly, but with enough resignation to catch Shauna’s attention. “I’m not doing this anymore.” You can’t keep letting her walk all over you, no matter how much you like her.

“I don’t want to lose you, but I keep feeling like you’re slipping through my fingers–” She starts, a desperate vulnerability that shocks you into speaking.

“Shauna–” you interject, but she cuts you off with an urgency that’s impossible to ignore.

“I know,” she continues, her words tumbling out in a rush as if she’s been holding onto them for far too long. “I know it’s all my fault and that I’m making it worse, but I don’t know how to be different.”

“This is new for me too, Shauna, but you don’t see me lashing out all the time.”

She grabs for your hand, cradling it between hers as she gives you a pleading look. “I don’t like feeling like this. Like I need you. It’s… It’s not like me.”

A thick silence hangs between you, your mind racing as you try to come up with something to say. You want to believe her, but you’re afraid too. Afraid of getting hurt again, of being told it’s nothing when you know it’s everything. You’ve never felt so unsure before, but the admission is enough for you to bridge the distance between you as you pull her into a hug. 

Shauna gasps at the contact, her hands resting awkwardly on your shoulder before she finally wraps them tightly around you.

“Needing someone isn’t a bad thing, you know?” You say softly. You couldn’t make her believe it, but you needed her to hear it.

Shauna doesn’t say anything, but she buries her face further into your neck. The way she climbs into your lap feels familiar, but it doesn’t feel the same way as it did. As she settles into your embrace, there’s a tenderness to her that you’ve rarely experienced. You can feel the steady rhythm of her breathing as she settles against your chest, the quiet rasp of her breath against your skin.

…

Epilogue

You stare across the diner at Shauna, watching fondly as she writes away in her journal as you wait for your order. It’s a familiar sight, one that never fails to make you smile. You weren’t sure how you always ended up being the one who paid for all your dates, but you didn’t hate it nearly as much as you pretended to. As soon as Shauna catches sight of you carrying everything back to the table, she clicks the cap of her pen back on, sliding her things back into her bag with a fluidity that impresses you.

She relaxes back against the booth as you sit everything in front of her, making no move to help you as she watches with the beginning of a smirk on her face. You talk about anything and everything as you eat, an easy quality to your conversation that once you only dreamed of.

Shauna’s eyes narrow playfully as she catches you sneaking a glance at her milkshake. You grin, unrepentant at having been caught.

“You know that thing in movies where–”

“Don’t push it,” she interrupts grumpily. Despite her irritation, there’s a clear fondness on her face as she squeezes your hand. You laugh, feeling a surge of affection as she pulls her milkshake just out of reach.

“I heard sharing is caring,” you tease, reaching out as if to grab her milkshake before she slaps your hand away.

“Who told you that, Jackie? She was lying to you,” Shauna says firmly, a smile on her face that betrays her attempt at a stern look.

“Come on, Shipman. We’ll get two straws and it’ll be just like that movie you love–”

“No–”

…

Jackie claps her hands together excitedly as she catches sight of the bottle of nail polish remover sitting on the counter. “Do you paint your own nails? Maybe we could paint each others? Shauna’s awful at it, so I’ve never really gotten to do it with someone else.”

You shrug, gesturing vaguely towards the drawer with your nail polish in as you turn away to hide your smirk. You can hear the sounds of her moving things around as she searches through the drawer, excitement slowly fading as she reads through the labels. “Black Onyx, okay,” she mutters, grabbing for another one.

“Fade to Black, no. Black Out, also no.” She starts to sound a little frustrated as she continues.

“Onyx Skies, definitely not. Raven– Do you have any that aren’t black?” She asks, seeming as if it was everything she could do to keep from pouting at you. You laugh quietly as you walk over, pointing one out as she tentatively reaches for it.

“This is a base coat,” Jackie says dismissively, only giving it a second glance as you point at the label. “Invisible,” she reads. “Great. I’ll uh– I’ll do that one.”

Your smile is strained at the edges as you nod, thinking only of what Shauna promised you if Jackie had a good time. She was starting to grow on you anyway, much to your quiet displeasure.

[soffsh2]

Tender Touches

A/n: it’s my first time writing an actual fic, hope it’s okay. Minors DNI. NSFW

Plot summary: After having a long practice, Shauna just wanted to relax in the bath but she’s plagued with thoughts of her teammate. It doesn’t help that she has small reminders all over her body.

Shauna groaned a little as she bent over, adjusting the faucet on her tub so that the water coming out billowed steam. As she stepped back from the bath she was running, she began to undress so she'd be able to soak her aching muscles. She began to remove her shirt and caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror, newly adorned with many bumps and bruises. After having the most physically enduring scrimmage of her entire life during practice, she just wanted to unwind and clear her head. Yet all her thoughts kept reverting to you, the reason behind all of Shauna’s bruised skin.

You and Shauna had never been on the friendliest terms, and neither of you could ever fully explain why that was. You’d just butt heads so often, during matches or just in everyday practices, which Jackie would always be less than thrilled about. She’d go on about how the bickering between you and Shauna had to stop for the good of the team, or at the very least to try and keep it outside of practice. It seemed to Jackie that after yesterday's practice ended with no fighting between the two of you, a friendship was for sure on the horizon.

However, it seemed you had decided to make the intensity of your continued distaste for Shauna very clear during the practice match. Being on opposing teams allowed you to get as rough and physical as you pleased while defending her, and you decided to take full advantage. Adorned in your blue pinny and Shauna in her yellow one, you took every opportunity to throw Shauna onto her ass. Which was more times than she’d care to admit, but the growing bruise on her backside was evidence enough. You disguised every hit, every trip, and every shove as a means of stopping her from getting a breakaway to the net. God, you were such a pest, Shauna thought as she stopped surveying her body in the mirror and continued to undress. She removed her final pieces of clothing, turned off the faucet, and lowered her sore body into the hot water.

After a short period to adjust to the temperature, she laid back and closed her eyes. Shauna wanted desperately to empty her mind of everything that pertained to the day's practice and all the frustration that had built up from being so jostled around. She tried so hard to just focus on the comforting feeling the warm bath gave her, but no, thoughts of you were still circling inside her head. She reopens her eyes as she relents that the day's scrimmage will just be at the forefront of her mind. And how could it not be, Shauna reasoned. She’d received more bruises from you, her own teammate, than she had ever gotten from any opposing player in actual games.

She sank even lower into the water and let her anger stew further as she thought more and more about you. How you were guarding her long before she was passed the ball, and how she was stripped of it immediately because of how dirty you were playing. The worst part about all of it was that after you’d knock her to the ground, steal the ball, and start running off, you would turn around with the most smug grin Shauna had ever seen. She was sure that she would’ve been fine with you, your shoving, and your shoulder checking, if only you didn’t finish it off with that dumb smile. Shauna felt herself getting angry once again at the thought of every instance that day that you had landed her flat on the ground. Every time she’d look up, you’d flash her a proud smirk before running off. Even in the relaxing heat, she could still feel her face twitch with annoyance. You had looked so full of yourself, God, how she had wanted to wipe that smirk off of your face.

She folded her arms onto her chest while she sat and continued her musings about you. After a quiet contemplation, Shauna is able to get a hold of all the negative emotions and is left with a harsh truth for her to admit to herself. Even she could admit it was kind of… surprising to have you completely run her body into the ground like that, though not untypical. She’d seen you do it to opposing players during actual matches and found it pretty impressive how easily you’d tripped up others. She could appreciate the pure skill it requires to take someone down like that, and she guessed the muscle it also required. Shauna had just never thought she’d be on the receiving end of it. She felt herself take a deep inhale as she stayed with the idea for an extra moment. The longer she had sat and thought about the way you manhandled her at practice, the more aware she became of the effect it had on her.

Yeah, maybe the way you grabbed at her and pushed her down would’ve been arousing for Shauna in other contexts. And maybe she liked the way your fingertips bruised her waist as you pawed to get a good grip on her body to slow her down. There could even be a chance she was into all the shittalking you were doing under your breath, which only Shauna could hear. But, no, she didn’t like you, and that smug grin you shot her after every push you gave her cemented that thought in her brain.

‘I mean, who did you think you were?’ Shauna questioned herself as she found her hands twitching in the water with the desire to do something she knew she shouldn’t do. She hadn’t even noticed her legs, which she’d subconsciously spread. Shauna paused for a moment. She cannot seriously be thinking like that about you right now. She hated you, and that dumb look on your face, and the way that her entire body had marks left by you. Or she hated the way they made her feel. She takes a deep breath; her normal breathing suddenly wasn’t giving her enough oxygen while she debated the idea.

Shauna moves her hand further down her body in the water, reaching its destination at the apex of her thighs. Her fingers ghost over where she wanted them, and the shift of the dispersing water sends minor sensations to all her most sensitive areas. Shauna decides she could maybe calm herself down like this; she had assured herself she’d only be doing it to settle herself and nothing more. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she began to move her fingers through her folds, gently playing with herself while she tried to occupy her mind of anyone other than you. But still, as she increased the pace of her fingers slowly, it's your name that rolled off her tongue when she moaned. It’s your calloused hand that she’d imagined touching her. And it’s your smug grin that Shauna imagined looking up at as she got more and more physical with herself. Her digits work at her clit with a torturous pressure as more thoughts of you consume the forefront of her mind.

She tried her best to imagine several other people before she decided that she could use the thought of you to get off this one time. Then she can go back to hating you when she’s done. Plus, it’s no fault of Shauna’s that she found the way that you handled her exciting. So with newly self-given permission, she allowed herself to fantasize about the person she despised the most, you.

Shauna opened her eyes slightly to gaze at the bruises your hand had left on her waist from when you forcefully pushed her body out of the touch lines. She poked at her discolored skin with her unoccupied hand as she writhed against the hand between her legs. The tenderness caused Shauna small bouts of pain as she jabbed at herself, so forceful that even when she removed her grip, there was still residual pain left. Her mouth hung open slightly at the sensation, letting out little pants of breath in between moans. The slight pain made Shauna more desperate, as she began to grind harder into her hand for more pressure. The hand that prodded at the bruises on her hips moved up to her chest to grope at her breasts. She closed her eyes, let out whispers of curse words at the contact, and felt the soreness of the freshly tender bruises that she had made worse.

Shauna could feel her legs start to tremble in the water as she fucked sloppily into her fingers. She could only imagine how smug you’d look if you could see her now, as she touched and fondled herself at the thought of how you grabbed her. The way you’d tease her for how heavy she was breathing, how much she wanted it, and how fucked out she’d look. The way you'd make even more bruises form on her body from love bites or sucking hickeys all over her. Shauna’s head became too heavy to hold up as she leaned it into the side of the tub and finished herself off. She whined out a small cry of your name as she finished and slowly worked herself down.

Shauna laid there for a moment in the now-cold bath water, her legs shaking and spasming as she brought them back together. She slowly rose and rinsed herself off with the shower head before she stepped out and drained the tub. Shauna wrapped herself in a towel before making her way to her bed, so she could sit down. She took a second to process her thoughts before she decided that she was sure that she still hated you. Absolutely positive that all that nervous energy she felt about you was simply arousal and nothing more. But while Shauna gazed at her legs, she couldn’t deny the feeling of delight she got as she admired the marks you’d left on her. And maybe she went into practice the next day with a new agenda to piss you off so she could keep getting these small reminders of you.

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

Can I request a Natalie x Jackies little sister reader, who is the opposite of Jackie, via personality wise? Like she's quiet, nerdy, not athletic like at all, and is a goody-two-shoes (Jackie makes fun of her for it but also intends to keep it that way,) and the reader ends up getting dragged by Jackie, and the readers awful bf at the time to this party, Jackie goes and gets lost with shauna doing whatever (✂️) ANYWAYS she gets into a really bad argument with her boyfriend because he wants to have sex with her and she refuses. Natalie ends up stepping in and helps her out, defends her, and drives her home. Natalie has also, like, always had a crush on her, too. Natalie and the reader start to get super close and secretly dating, and Jackie ends up finding out about them via the readers' diary, and she's kind of upset at first but ends up allowing it after confronting Natalie after practice, who proves to Jackie that she loves the reader and wants to protect her no matter what. Idk sorry about it being all detailed 😭😭

All My Ghosts

Summary: literally just the prompt

Warning(s): cursing (more than usual), manipulation (from r bf), pressure to have sex, drug usage, smoking, drinking, non-consensual kissing (from bf), not proofread (spelling and grammar mistakes are not my problem actually)

Reader can either be read as a comphet lesbian or bisexual/pansexual, whichever you prefer <3

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"Y/n, let's GO!" your sister, Jackie, yelled from the bottom of the stairs up to your room. Instead of responding to her, you just rolled your eyes and finished lacing up your shoes. You didn't even want to go to this party, but your boyfriend, Brad, wanted you to go. And for some reason, Jackie agreed with him. Something about you being there with her for "moral support". Like she needed that. If anything, you were the one who needed moral support for a party.

When you were finally finished getting ready, you walked out of your bedroom and down the stairs to meet Jackie.

"God, finally. Shauna's going to wonder where we are." She twirls the keys to her car in her hand, and you just roll your eyes again.

"More like wonder where you are."

"She's your friend, too."

"Barely."

The less than a year between you and Jackie meant that the two of you grew up really close, and that her friends became your friends. Since both of you were in the same grade, you didn't have to worry a lot about making your own friends. Jackie was good about including you, and you got along well with Shauna and the other girls from the soccer team.

But sometimes, on days like this, you wished you had friends of your own. Maybe they wouldn't make you go to some stupid party with them.

"Come on." Jackie started walking towards your front door and out to the car. Honestly, you were surprised she was even driving. Normally Jeff or Shauna picked her up.

"Fine, whatever," you replied, walking out after her.

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When the two of you arrived, the party was already in full swing. Where Brad could be, you had no idea. And unfortunately for you, Jackie had no problem finding Shauna.

Soon enough, you were standing alone in the foyer of Lottie's giant house.

Suddenly, you see Brad. Quickly, you start walking towards him.

"Babe! Hey!" He pulls you into his side as soon as you come near him. He smells like weed and cheap beer, and you can't help but wrinkle your nose.

"Hi," you smile at him, trying to ignore the smell. Instead of continuing to talk to you, though, he immediately went back to whatever conversation he'd been having, not even trying to include you. This happened a lot. Brad would immediately assume you weren't interested in anything he'd been talking about, and practically ignore you.

You sat there in silence for a while before you decided it was time to get a drink.

"Hey, I'm going to grab a drink. Do you want anything?" you ask, tapping Brad's shoulder.

"Sure. Let me come with you." When he says that, you try not to let your disappointment show. You had been trying to get away from him for a minute, but there he was, following you around.

The two of you head to the kitchen, and you pour yourself a Diet Coke, while Brad opted for another beer. As you stand at the counter, sipping you drink, he slides up behind you and starts to whisper in your ear.

"You want to get out of here?" He was trying to be seductive, but all you could focus on was how shitty his breath smelled.

"No, sorry. I promised Jackie that I'd DD." It takes a lot not to push him away entirely, but you can't help but turn your head away as he spoke.

"Baby, I'm sure your sister can find another ride home. Come on." He was beginning to sound like a child, but you kept your cool.

"I'm sure she could, but I really don't need a pissed off Jackie in my life right now. Plus, I'd just rather not risk it." By now, you'd pulled away fully, not wanting to deal with whatever was going on.

"Y/n, come on. I need something. We haven't had sex in so long." He was louder now, and you were sure people heard.

"And I said not tonight."

"You're such a-"

"She said no, asshole. Leave her alone." Brad was cut off by a voice that you recognized. Natalie Scatorccio, one of the girls on your sister's soccer team. You didn't know her that well, and Jackie wasn't her biggest fan. But you were extremely grateful for her in this moment.

"This is none of your business, bitch. Who the fuck are you, anyways?" Brad was clearly pissed off, whether it was because he was interrupted or because it was Natalie who interrupted him, you couldn't tell.

"It doesn't matter who I am, and this became my business the minute you started yelling at y/n in the middle of the kitchen. She doesn't want to fuck you. Get over it."

"How does this bitch even know your name?" Brad's wrath was turned towards you now, and you weren't sure how to react.

"She's... uh, a friend. Of my sister's. They play soccer together," you manage to mumble out, embarrassed over the whole situation.

"Oh, so you need one of your sister's friends to fight your battles for you now? Fuck this. We're over. I don't want to be with a prude." With that, Brad finally walked away. Part of you wanted to follow him, but the majority of you didn't. Not after what he just pulled.

"Shit. I didn't mean for him to break up with you. Just leave you alone." Natalie did truly look apologetic, but you weren't upset with her at all.

"No, it's fine. I've been thinking about breaking up with him anyway. I've just been to nervous. So really, I should be thanking you." You tried to make light of the entire situation, wanting to relieve some of the tension.

"Well, he seemed like a dick. Is he always like that?"

You pause for a moment before speaking. "No, not always. When we first got together, he was perfect. But for the past month or so, he's been a lot pushier when it comes to physical stuff."

Natalie nods, taking it in.

"Do you want to get out of here?" You ask suddenly, hoping you don't sound weird.

"Don't you have to take Jackie home?" She looked at you quizzically, and you mentally cursed yourself.

As if on cue, Jackie appeared in the kitchen. "Y/n! I was looking for you. You don't care if I go with Shauna to her place, do you?'

"No, go ahead. Just give me the car keys." You hold out your hand for the keys, and Jackie happily gives them to you. Once she's gone from the kitchen, you turn back to Natalie.

"Well, not anymore."

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The two of you sat in your car, music playing softly through the stereo. You had no idea what you planned on doing, but it was nice to do something spontaneous for once in your life.

"Is there anywhere you want to be going?" You ask, not knowing exactly what Natalie would be into.

"Nah." She sits there in silence for a moment before turning to you, cigarette in hand. "Do you care if I smoke in here?"

"Roll down the window. I'm not sure I want my parents thinking I've been smoking."

She does as she's asked and rolls down the window before lighting up the cigarette, which kind of impresses you with the wind.

"So you're keeping up the "good girl" act even when I'm the only one here, huh?" She asks before taking a drag of the cigarette.

"What "good girl act"? This is just my personality." You take a turn and decide that you want to go to the beach. You've always loved the ocean, and with a night like tonight you deserved to do what you wanted.

"God, not even Jackie's this innocent. Have you ever broken a rule in your life?" She's not being mean, at least you don't think she is.

"I'm not innocent, just careful." You pause for a beat before answering her question, "And yes, I've broken rules. You think Jackie and I were supposed to be at that party?"

"Touché, I guess. Where do your parents think you are?" She looks over at you as she takes a drag from the cigarette, and something about the whole thing makes your heart flutter. Probably from the rebellion of it all.

"Well, they aren't even home, but before they left, Jackie said we were staying with Shauna. Which, I guess is kind of the truth." You maneuver the car into a random parking lot with a beach entrance and gesture for Natalie to get out.

The both of you step out of the car, and you move to the trunk to see if you have a blanket or something else to sit on. You find a towel that you're sure has been there since the last time you were at the beach, but it'll work for now. Nat didn't seem to be the picky type, and you didn't much care what you sat on as long as it wasn't sand.

You shut the trunk and begin walking toward the beach, turning around to make sure that Natalie is following you. She is.

It doesn't take long to find a spot in the sand to settle into. The beach is mostly empty, the occasional couple or group of friends scattered across the beach, but none were close enough to bother you. You set the towel down, smoothing it best you can, trying very hard to not let it get sandy.

"Ladies first," you tease, gesturing for Natalie to sit down before plopping down next to her.

She rolls her eyes, but clearly doesn't mind the teasing.

"The beach, huh? This your happy place or somethin'?"

"Happy place is a stretch. That would be a bookstore. But all of those are closed, so this is my second best option. I've just always loved the water. Not that we could swim right now." The words just kind of spill out, and you're surprised at how easy it was to talk to Natalie. Probably because she saved your ass earlier.

"Nerd." It's her turn to tease you now, but her tone is affectionate. This girl is a far cry from the burnout stoner that Jackie is always talking about.

"Oh, whatever."

"You can't even deny it. You're a rule follower, your good-girl act isn't an act, and your happy place is a goddamned bookstore. Nerd."

"Because you're soooooo much cooler than me, with your smoking and your leather jackets." you lean back on the towel, using your elbows to prop you up.

"I didn't say you weren't cool, I said you were a nerd. Don't twist my words." She takes another drag of her cigarette, blowing smoke into the warm night air. She looks captivating, all sharp angles and edges and lines.

"Those two things do tend to go hand in hand, you know."

"Not for you. You're a total nerd, but you're cool. At least I think you are."

You let out a scoff, not knowing whether to take her statement as a compliment, or an insult, or both.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment..?"

She just laughs, looking up to the sky. It's nice with her, you realize. There's no pressure to do or say anything. Normally it's so difficult for you to talk to people, let alone actually make friends. But with Natalie everything came easily.

"Why'd you save my ass earlier?" you ask, finally getting up the courage to ask the question that's been plaguing you since you got in the car with Natalie.

"Looked like you needed it." She shrugs, like it's no big deal. Like Brad couldn't have beaten her ass if he wanted to.

"Yeah, but you barely know me. Most people wouldn't do that for a stranger."

"You're not a stranger. Not exactly. There's also the fact that I don't deal with assholes well."

"I mean, I'm really grateful, don't get me wrong. It was really good of you to do that. Just... surprising, is all."

She's silent for a moment, and you're worried that you might have said something to offend her. Your mind begins reeling, and you backtrack to figure out what it was that you said.

"Jackie been telling you about me?" she asks, and you realize what it really is, why she was really silent.

Now it's your turn to be quiet. You don't know what to say without saying something that could make the situation worse.

"Not... just Jackie. I've noticed you, you know? You don't exactly give the vibe that you'd save a girl you barely know at a party. I know I shouldn't assume based on rumors, or vibes." You hope your explanation doesn't upset her.

"I know what vibe I give off. I get it, I guess."

"You aren't what I expected, though. In a good way." You smile at her. It's true. She's not what everyone thinks she is. And you like it.

"Thanks."

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Two days later, you sat on your bed with Jackie, explaining the whole situation with Brad. She had spent the weekend at Shauna's, and the news of the breakup had barely reached her. Which meant you got to explain. Yipee.

"Yeah, so he was super pushy, which was honestly a bit unexpected. Maybe because I'm so used to just saying yes. Begging me to sleep with him, telling me he "needed it". It was gross, honestly."

"And he'd never been like that with you before?" Jackie's clearly upset, which honestly makes you feel a little bit better.

"Yeah, never," you assure her.

"So then what?"

"Uh, Natalie actually stepped in." You scan your sister's face for a reaction, not exactly knowing what to expect.

"Natalie? Natalie Scatorccio? The same girl who shows up to practice high, or drunk, or both half the time? That Natalie?" Jackie looks completely perplexed, like she could never understand how Natalie was the one that helped you get away from Brad.

"That's the one. Then she and I just... left. The party. We went to the beach. Talked. It was nice." You shrug, not exactly knowing where to go from here. You wanted to defend Natalie, you really did, but with Jackie it was just so... difficult.

"That's... good of her, I guess?"

"She's not what you think she is, you know." You try to sound nonchalant, like your head hasn't been clouded with thoughts of Natalie since the party. You missed her. Of course you did. She was your first shot at a friend in a while.

"I guess she's not."

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"Jesus Christ." You slam your textbook shut, annoyed. Something's been tapping your window for what feels like hours. You get up and walk over to see what it is. You look down, and who do you see but Natalie Scatorccio, literally throwing pebbles at your window.

You slide your window open and hiss down at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting your attention." She smirks up at you, and your annoyance fades, but doesn't disappear.

"It's eleven thirty at night. I'm studying."

"Oh, come on y/n. Live a little. I just want to hang out."

"Natalie."

"Fine, if you really don't want to, I'll go."

"No, fine. Stay there." You quickly close the window and grab your shoes and a jacket. You're grateful that she showed up. You'd been debating talking to her at school, but she had friends. What if your hangout was a one-time thing, and she really didn't like you.

But that was all nullified by the fact that she showed up to your house. That she threw pebbles at your window. That she wanted to talk to you, too.

It was a nice feeling.

As quietly as possible, you snuck out of the house, grateful for both the distance from your parents room to the front door, and their early bedtime. What you were doing could barely be considered sneaking out. It was just leaving the house.

Nat met you in the front of your house, smirk still on her face. Part of you wanted to be annoyed at her, but most of you was excited. You'd never done something like this before.

"You're a bad influence, you know."

"I said you didn't have to come with me." She was right about that. There was no pressure from Natalie for you to leave your house with her.

"Still a bad influence," you say, rolling your eyes. "What are we doing, anyway?"

"Hanging out."

"That's a horrible answer."

"Shut up. I didn't have anything in mind, really. I just wanted to hang out with you again." She shrugs and pulls out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of her leather jacket. Soon enough, a cigarette is between her lips, and she's working on lighting it. Which she does, effortlessly.

It's kind of attractive.

Wait, what? Attractive? No. Not attractive. It would be attractive if she were a boy. But she's not. It's just... intriguing.

Yeah. Intriguing.

Your mind is working at a thousand miles a minute, and it must be evident on your face, because Nat gives you a concerned look.

"You good? You're not freaking out because you snuck out, are you? Because we're literally still in your front yard. You've barely even snuck out at this point." She genuinely looks a bit concerned, but she keeps her tone light, trying to keep you from freaking out further.

You snap out of whatever trance you were in and give Natalie a little nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

She nods in acknowledgement, not pressing the issue, which you appreciate. You don't want to lie, but you're not sure you want to tell her that you maybe find her attractive.

But you don't, right?

"Seriously, what are we doing? Nothing's even open right now."

"We could go to a gas station," she says, offhandedly, and you let out a little laugh.

"A gas station? You have me sneak out of my house so we can what? Get midnight Slurpees?"

"Do you have any better ideas?"

She had you there. You didn't have any better ideas. In fact, a midnight Slurpee actually sounded pretty good.

"Fine."

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A ten minute walk later, and the two of you stood within the fluorescent lighting of the local seven-eleven. Natalie was already making the most horrendous Slurpee combination known to man, and you were debating on what to get. As usual.

"Y/n, are you just going to stand there the rest of the night?" She asks, taking a drink of her concoction.

"I'm thinking. Also, that's an abomination." Her drink was truly disgusting. She had mixed every flavor possible, and none of them went together. It honestly almost made you gag.

She just grinned at you, and you couldn't help but smile back. Even if she should never be able to drink a Slurpee again.

Finally, you decided on what you wanted. Plain cherry. Why it took you so long to decide, you had no idea. It was the same flavor you'd been getting practically your entire life.

"You're boring as shit, y/n," She teases, and you shoot her a glare.

"At least I'm not drinking whatever the fuck that is." You finish filling your cup, and nudge her shoulder as you walk to the cash register to pay.

"Here." You turn to Nat and take her cup from her, giving it to the middle-aged woman at the register.

"I can pay for my own, you know." She sounds a little pissed off, and you can't tell why.

Oh, shit. Because she didn't have a lot of money. She must have thought you were pitying her. Which, you weren't. But she had no way of knowing that.

"Yeah, but you're my friend. I'm going to treat you. But if it makes you feel better, you can get it next time," your tone is teasing, and you try to lighten the mood a little bit.

"Fine." Her voice softened, and you mentally patted yourself on the back.

You grab your cups from the cashier, and hand Natalie hers before walking out of the store.

"Where to next?" She asks, following your lead.

"I think there's a park nearby."

She nods, and you begin making your way to the park. You hadn't been there in years, but the thought of going there now exhilarated you.

The two of you walked in a comfortable silence to the playground, which was completely empty due to how late it was. No kids would be there this time.

"Swings?" You ask, looking at Natalie for confirmation. She nods, and you make your way to the old swing set.

"I'm glad you came over. I'm glad we're doing this," you blurt out, not really meaning to. You didn't really want to sound desperate for friends or anything. But it was nice.

"I didn't know if you'd even come outside. Not to mention that I was terrified that I was throwing rocks at your parents window, or worse, Jackie's."

"I normally wouldn't have. But I've been hoping to hang out again since Friday."

"Thinking about me, huh?" she's teasing, you know she doesn't mean it in the way it sounds. But you flush red anyways, and hope she doesn't see.

"All the time," you quip back, matching her energy. She laughs, and butterflies explode in your stomach.

Fuck.

Were you falling for Natalie Scatorccio?

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It's been two weeks of hanging out with Natalie, and it's only solidified your feelings for her. Which was freaking you out. You'd never felt this way about a girl before, and it was even more insane because it was Natalie.

You groaned and buried your head into your pillow. Why were you like this? You'd never felt like this about anyone, not even Brad. Why did she draw you in so quickly and easily?

"Y/n, do you have my-" Jackie suddenly stops talking, seeing your state. You're obviously distressed, and she immediately makes her way over to your bed. She sits down and rests a hand on your leg.

"Are you okay?" She asks, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just going through a lot." You roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling.

"You upset about Brad?"

You nod, even though you know it's not the truth. You haven't even thought about him since the breakup, but Jackie doesn't need to know that. It's not that Jackie wouldn't be okay with you liking a girl. She probably would be. You'd had suspicions about her and Shauna for a while. It's the fact that you like Natalie that she wouldn't be okay with. She was barely okay with the two of you being friends.

"I get it. Let me know if you want to talk about it, okay?" She genuinely looks like she wants to help, and you smile in return.

"I'm okay, thanks. Just a lot on my mind, you know?"

She hums and pats your leg before standing up and leaving your bedroom, again leaving you alone with your thoughts.

It's times like these when you really wished you had close friends. You couldn't talk to Jackie about it because it's about Natalie, and you couldn't talk to Natalie. For obvious reasons.

So you turn to the only thing that won't judge you. Your journal.

April 9, 1996

Shit. I think I like a girl. Well, I know I like a girl. What does that mean for me? Should I tell her? What if she doesn't like me? What if she tells everyone and thinks I'm a freak? Not that I think Natalie would do that. She seems okay with gay people. But what if?

Not to mention that it's Natalie. No fucking way. My parents would freak. Not even just because of the whole "being with a girl" thing. But because Natalie is the opposite of everything they want for me.

There's just something about her, though. That makes me not care. About my parents, about Jackie, about anyone. She's just so her. She makes me want to be someone different. Someone interesting More myself, honestly.

You finish writing and shut the book, sticking it back in the hiding place under your mattress. Stereotypical, you know, but you weren't worried about anyone reading it. Your parents were decent about privacy, and Jackie just wouldn't do that to you.

"Y/n! Someone's here for you!" Your mom yells up the stairs, and you peek your head out the doorway of your bedroom and look down the stairs. In the doorway stands Natalie, cigarette in hand. You immediately walk down the stairs and practically drag her to your room.

"Jesus, Nat. You could warn a girl." You're not mad, exactly, but you hadn't exactly warned your parents about Natalie's look. Or her smoking habit. You didn't plan on telling them about the smoking at all, actually. Or the drugs. Or the alcohol.

"You mad I showed up to see you?" She genuinely looks hurt, and you backtrack a little.

"No. It's just that my parents..."

"Oh, so you're scared of what your parents would think of their perfect daughter hanging out with a drug addicted burnout like me?" She's clearly angry now, and you curse yourself.

"Nat, come on."

"Fuck off, y/n. You don't have to talk to me, you know."

"I want to talk to you! I like being your friend! My parents just have certain expectations for me, okay? For both of us. I just don't need a lecture or for them to tell me I'm not allowed to see you anymore." You hope your explanation makes Natalie understand.

She softens, and it's clear your words have gotten through to her.

"I don't want to feel like you're ashamed to be friends with me because I'm not what mommy and daddy wanted."

"I'm not, I swear. I really, really like being around you. So I don't need my parents deciding they hate you from the jump."

She smiles when you say that you like being around her, and your heart jumps. God, what was this girl doing to you?

"Alright, I get it. I won't smoke around your parents, 'kay?"

"Thank you."

"I actually came over to ask you if you were going to go to that party on Friday? Lottie's hosting." You're surprised at her words. She came all the way over to your house just to ask if you were going to a party? Odd.

"Uh, yeah, I heard about it. I didn't think about going, though. No reason to, without Brad dragging me there."

"Not a party person?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Would you go if I promised to hang out with you?" She's teasing you and you know it, yet her question somehow sounds genuine.

"I'll think about it," you say, already knowing your answer. She had you wrapped around your finger. You'd do just about anything if Natalie was there with you.

"That's a yes, right?"

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A few days later, and you found yourself in front of your vanity mirror, attempting to get your hair to look right. It's not that it looked bad... it looked normal. But you wanted it to look good.

For Natalie

No, fuck. Not for Natalie. For yourself.

And maybe for Natalie.

You gave up on your hair and went to touch up your makeup. Nothing much, some highlighter. Eyeliner. Mascara. Minimal. You, but different.

Finally, you're ready to go. You don't look perfect, but who cared about that? It was a high school party. No one looked perfect. You were teenagers, for fuck's sake.

"Jackie! Are you ready?" You stepped into the hallway. It was finally your turn to get back at Jackie for all the years she had spent yelling at you to hurry up.

"Christ, y/n. What's your deal?" She walks into the hall, somehow looking better than you could even fathom. How she managed to do that, you had no idea. Honestly, it was impressive.

"Nothing. I just want to leave." You shrug, feigning nonchalance. You don't really want to explain to Jackie why you're so hard pressed to go to this party.

"Whatever. Let's go, then."

With that, she's off down the hall, expecting you to follow her. And of course, you do.

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You couldn't find Natalie anywhere at the party. You'd searched every room, and you were starting to get upset. Why would she ditch you? You thought she was really your friend. Was this some sort of really fucked up prank?

Taking a deep breath, you tried to rationalize it. Natalie could be mean, sure. But never intentionally cruel, not like this. She was probably just running late. Or didn't think you'd get there as early as you did.

You stood at the edge of the kitchen, being a wallflower, as usual. It was kind of interesting to watch the party go on. Everyone talking and laughing and drinking. If nothing else, you were at least entertained.

Suddenly, someone walked up behind you and tapped on your shoulder. You turned around excitedly, assuming it was Natalie.

It wasn't.

Behind you stood Brad. He looked the same, which, why wouldn't he? It had only been a few weeks since the breakup.

"Hey, y/n. I was hoping to talk to you. About us." He looked almost hopeful, and you found it gross.

"There's no us anymore. You tried to pressure me into having sex with you. That isn't good boyfriend behavior," You say, turning away from him again and starting to walk away.

Brad reached out and grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking away. When you turned around to confront him and tell him to let you go, he leaned in and kissed you. Hard

For a moment, you didn't know what to do. You weren't expecting him to kiss you. But then you came to your senses and pushed him away. Just as hard as he had kissed you.

"Fuck you. That's fucking disgusting." This time, when you turned to walk away, he left you alone. You made your way out of the kitchen and into Lottie's giant living room, where you finally found Nat.

When you saw her, you smiled and started making your way over to her, but she just glared and turned away. Once you walked over to where she was standing with Kevyn, she didn't even glance in your direction.

"Nat, hey," you said, a bit confused. You didn't know why she was acting the way that she was.

She didn't respond and just kept talking to Kevyn, like you weren't even there. Like you didn't exist at all.

"Hey, what's going on right now?"

"Nothing. It just looks like you found better company than me." Her tone is cold, and you start to get a little upset with her.

"What's that supposed to mean, Natalie?"

With this, Kevyn decided it was time for him to walk away. Neither you nor Natalie stopped him.

"It means you found someone you'd rather be here with."

"I've been standing at this godforsaken party alone, waiting for you, and you think I've found someone else to hang out with?" Your voice is rising, and you're sure other people are watching you.

"I think you're more than hanging out with him."

With that, you grab Natalie's wrist and drag her outside of the party, not wanting any more attention on you.

"What the fuck is your problem? You show up late, you don't come find me, and when I do see you you're cryptic as fuck!" You're seething, and all you want is to know what Natalie's issue is.

"Oh, what's my problem? Maybe that you were kissing the guy who practically assaulted you a month ago! Not to mention that you were supposed to be here with me!"

"That's what this is about? I don't like him, Natalie! If you had asked instead of assuming, you'd know that! I am here with you! You're the only fucking person I want to be around, don't you get that?" That last part just slipped out, and you clap your hands over your mouth.

Natalie looks at you for a moment, shocked, but she quickly recovers. Her face is guarded again, and you can't tell how she's going to react to what you just said. You don't even know if she guessed the true meaning of your words.

"Why were you kissing him, then?" Her voice is still hard, but it's lost some of the anger within it from before.

"He kissed me. I didn't want him to. He's not who I want to be with."

"Shit."

"That's all you have to say right now? Shit? I go to a party I didn't even want to be at because you asked me to, I get kissed by my ex and the one person I know would understand gets weirdly jealous and asshole-y about it! And then I all but tell you I want to be with you and you say is shit?" You're fuming now. You've never done anything like this before. You've always been sweet and shy and non-confrontational.

"Jesus Christ, y/n!"

That's when she does it. She walks over to you and more gently than you thought possible from her, she cups your face and kisses you. It's soft, surprisingly, but there's an underlying desperation to it that makes you go insane for her.

You pull away after a moment, and you can't help but stare at her. You can't come up with a single word to say after that kiss. It was everything you'd been wanting, no, craving for weeks.

"Does that give you an answer?"

"I think so. I might need another, just to be sure, though."

She gladly kisses you again, and you practically melt. This time, the desperation is a bit clearer. It's turned from soft lips to tongues and teeth in an instant, and you have to remind yourself that you're in public.

"We should head back to my house."

"Good idea."

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The next afternoon, you're sitting on your bed, journaling. Natalie had left that morning, before both your parents and Jackie had gotten up. You didn't ask her to leave, but she promised to see you at some point this weekend.

April 12, 1996

Holy shit, she kissed me. She kissed me. I didn't even know she liked girls, let alone me. I think we're together now? I mean, we didn't like talk about it. But she promised me she'd see me later.

I don't know how I'm going to tell Jackie. Or my parents. Jackie might be okay with me liking a girl, but she'd hate that I like Natalie of all people. I have no idea how I'm going to tell her.

It's fine, I don't have to tell anyone, right? I'm sure Nat would be okay with it. Maybe she doesn't want it public either.

I'm trying really hard not to worry about this. Really fucking hard. It's just so new. I've never done anything like this before.

With that, you take a deep breath and close the book, putting it away in the usual spot. There was no point in worrying anymore. There was nothing you could do until you talked to Natalie about your plans.

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Monday morning, Natalie stood by your locker, smiling, really smiling at you. You can't help but smile back. She was your girlfriend, like, officially. She called you yesterday, two days after your kiss, and the both of you went out. It wasn't a fancy date, just sitting with her as she smoked. But you talked, and you kissed, and you made everything official.

It wasn't like you were screaming that you were together from the rooftops. Wiskayok was still relatively conservative. And neither of you were out as anything. But Natalie planned on telling Kevyn and Van, while you were working up the courage to tell Jackie.

"Hey. You're going to Calc, right? I'm headed in that direction."

"Yeah, I am." You couldn't help but smile wider. Your girlfriend was walking you to class.

"Cool."

She starts off, and you fall into step next to her. It was such an insignificant moment to most, but it showed she cared about you.

"See you after practice?" She asks, feigning nonchalance.

"Yeah, I'm taking Jackie home. I'll make sure to stop by." You give her a quick smile and make sure to brush her arm before walking into class.

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A month of dates with Natalie had passed, and you were sure you were in love. She was still a snarky mess, but she also had the kindest soul you'd ever seen. Always checking on you, listening to you talk about anything and everything.

The only issue was Jackie. And the fact that you hadn't told her yet. She was acting a little weird to you, and you thought she suspected you were dating someone new. But she was letting you tell her when you were ready, which you appreciated.

You stood at your car, waiting for Jackie to take the both of you home when you heard it. Jackie, and Natalie. Arguing. About something.

Feeling a bit nosy, you walked towards the noise, listening in. It wasn't hard. They were being very, very loud.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that your latest hookup was my sister?" When you heard Jackie, your heart started pounding. How could she know?

"Hookup? You think we're just hooking up?"

"Isn't that all you do? Fuck?"

You wince at that, and almost say something to signal that you're standing there.

"Fuck off, Jackie. What me and y/n do in our spare time is actually none of your concern. And just so you know, she's not just a hookup. I really like her. Like, more than anyone else I've ever been with. And if you had let her tell you that instead of jumping to conclusions, you'd know that." Nat stormed off in your direction, and stopped as soon as she saw you.

"Shit. Did you hear all that?"

"Yeah. Give me a second. I have to talk to Jackie." You walk towards your sister, pissed.

"Jackie, what the hell? How did you know Nat and I were together? And who said we were just hooking up? Why would you assume that? Jesus Christ."

"Y/n, I just thought, because she only does hookups, that you were a casual thing! I didn't want you hurt!" She's trying so hard to make this okay, make you not mad at her. It isn't working.

"How'd you even find out?"

"Your journal." She sounds sheepish, and you only get angrier at this.

"You read my fucking journal?"

"You just seemed off! I wanted to make sure you were okay!" She's defensive, but there's a bit of an apology in her voice.

"Not an excuse, Jackie. I like Natalie, okay? And she made it clear how she feels about me. So fuck off." You knew that you still had to take Jackie home, but you didn't care.

Natalie still stood there, seemingly a bit hurt by what Jackie had said, but she was clearly happy with how you reacted.

"Can you take me home? I don't feel like dealing with Jackie right now," you ask, intertwining your fingers.

"After that shit show? Absolutely." She leads you to where her beat up old car was parked, and you sat yourself in the front seat.

"I'm sorry, about Jackie. She's normally not that insane."

"Not your fault. And I got to hear about how much you love me, so it's a win, honestly." She smirks at you from the drivers seat as she pulls out of the parking lot, and you squeezer her hand.

"Yeah well, I got to hear the same from you."

"It's just the truth."

"It'd better be."