#she did bad things (murder in a character is a slay but sure it’s a bad thing) but she also did good | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mdhwrites · 1 year

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Do you think if Owl House’s third season were longer instead of being crammed into 3 long episodes, it would’ve been better?

I actually did a blog about this literally the night before the S3 finale and the finale did not prove me wrong!

But I want to emphasize here that a lot of these problems... are due to S2 and S1. S3 is how it is BECAUSE of the writing choices the team made going into it. There were ALWAYS going to be problems with S3 because of how S2A was paced, because of the INSANE decisions made in the face of the shortening in S2B like the Collector. Just the insane amount of mismanaged time. But I like to provide evidence:

No usable villains: S1 had the most amount of threats that could be taken seriously and even they weren't treated the best. The EC were still mostly bumblers who could be taken out by Eda or Hooty with EASE, Lilith is used for comedy far more than threat in S1, even if her role as straight man works to keep some of her menace, Kikimora is barely there and Belos is introduced at the end of the season. All the one off villains are pathetic and usually defeated through brute force in their episodes proving that except by schemes, like Really Small Problems, they're all fucked going against Luz in S2 who now has actual power behind her. So by the end of S1, you have Hunter, Kikimora and Belos. S2A will then go on to make Hunter immediately not a villain, Kikimora a joke by the end of it and ignore Belos entirely until S2B while introducing no new real villains so now they only had BELOS and their time is running out. Also, their only human realm villain is a joke who got beat by Camila, let alone anyone with magic. Speaking of:

Edit: I straight up forgot to mention the coven heads but S2 does technically set them up... and then destroys the coven system, giving them no systemic power, and Luz literally saved all of theirs lives so they have no reason to fight her. Also because the Collector is straight up not a villain in S3, he would not be sending them out to kill people even if that were his style so they don't count as usable villains and neither does the Collector.

Power Scale Issues: In literally the sixth episode, Willow singlehandedly beats the shit out of an entire squad of trained MONSTER HUNTERS without even the element of surprise. She's just that strong. By S2's end, EVERYONE will be at her level. Luz at the START of S2, before glyph combos are introduced, takes down the Selkidamus effectively single handedly. She literally only needed physical strength of pulling the thing in and NO ONE acts like it's a question if she can slay it once she's given a sword. It's really fucking bad. And as they have magic in the human realm, all of these characters are still at that power level for what would have been the first half of the season. This means threats and villains are out of the question. How about character work?

Character Blandness: Willow has no character. She is wishy washy all the way through the series and this is true even in S1 where she is shy for half the episodes and also the most brazen person you know in the other half, sometimes in the same episode. Escaping Expulsion murdered about half of Amity's potential and Reaching Out made sure that there would literally never be a conflict about Lumity and made Amity only a bland love interest with daddy issues and her dad isn't in the human realm so you got nothing on her for the first half. Hunter had to have almost all of his shit dealt with by the end of S2 so he's a certified good guy at their side by the Day of Unity who at least half of the cast have accepted so all you have is backstory angst which they can only do so much of without it being repetitive or boring, especially if you want the BIG reveal to only happen shortly before his possession. Luz has her angst which can't be resolved until post Belos revealing it so you have half a season where NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING. You theoretically have Camila fluff and Vee angst/fluff potentially but people got pissed at Hop Pop and Sprig getting episodes dedicated to them in the human realm instead of the plot. How would most have reacted to characters who have made barely an appearance stealing half a season from the entire Hexide Squad?

Human Realm is Bad: By the end of S1, the Isles has cellphones, it has televisions, it broadcast news, it will fight for a wrong unjustly done, etc. S2 only doubles down as it introduces robots, child endangerment laws and other things that are just part of the human realm. That's why ALL of the fish out of water jokes in Thanks to Them are utter shit and require characters acting like complete morons because the two worlds are the SAME. And they have almost always been that way. The only difference is that one has electricity, the other has magic. As such, going to the human realm is just not compelling. It doesn't even have thematic reasons to do so except I guess to FINALLY actually show Luz being bullied and they didn't even do that in the specials.

And sure, stuff with the resistance could have been neat in the second half. The first half could have included good fluff like Lumity dates and Gus freaking out about the human realm for an episode. But... It would still be needing to introduce elements. It would still be scrambling for ways to fill the time because S2 killed most of the potential for the characters and was so focused on that goal, even in S2A, that it didn't introduce compelling plot elements for drama or good villains to play into its adventure elements.

Could it have been better? Possibly. But a lot of people felt how much S3's specials were just padding. Just wasted time. Now TRIPLE the length of the season?

Yeah... The shortening was a blessing, not a curse.

=======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#the owl house criticism #toh critical

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cardanfckinggreenbriar · 2 years

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the stolen heir thoughts

so apparently people are not liking this book. which icl is a little bit WILD to me because i thought it was brilliant.

but here are my thoughts on why that *might* (emphasis on MIGHT don't come at me if you have some ✨quirky✨ reason for why you didn't like it i literally don't care) be the case.

there will be some spoilers ahead, i will try to limit them, but you guys are pretty unpredictable anyway, just don't say i didn't warn you.

most people reading this duology have come straight from tfota (and if you're not wtf are you doing here, go sit your ass down and read tcp, you demon) and if that's the case, there is a high likelihood you are a reader who idolises jude and cardan and puts them on a pedestal (AS THEY DESERVE ABSOLUTE BEAUTIFUL ICONS.) and you know, although we were warned by holly that this first book would be in suren's perspective, it's not so comfortable to not only be so tantalisingly close to them and not see them (we want our babies back), but to see them, to see this world, to see other characters, too (like oak), through a completely different lens.

i've heard people saying it's flat for that, and i get we're returning to a world, it might feel like holly is just doing some recycling but icl i kinda really love the book for that, and it also seems like a really holly thing to do.

i mean sure, i could have maybe lived without madoc's return, but i also think that it really works.

back to the point tho, for suren, this is a very different world, her relationship with it is different, and the people in it, though familiar to us, are not to her, and i think the main thing to take away from this is to remember that not one of these characters are clear cut heroes or villains. they're people.

jude, to suren, is just a cold, harsh, strategic mortal queen — funnily enough, suren probably didn't get to read tfota, so hasn't experienced jude the way that we have, and the same for other characters that we are familiar with.

i mean think about it, when we read tfota and suren was described as 'creepy' and all that, did we bat an eyelid? no, we accepted it, mainly because we were seeing suren the way that jude and her family were, as a monster girl, whose parents wanted her to marry oak, and we didn't want that. we see it politically, also. when we see this through suren's eyes, all of a sudden, it's heartbreaking, and ofc it is, because she was a child, and she was being manipulated and used, she wasn't saved, she wasn't treated with any sort of love, from anyone.

but jude couldn't give her that love. for so many reasons. but still, that makes her seem like less of a hero (again, not that she was one to begin with.)

and if they're not the heroes anymore, if our way of seeing things suddenly becomes blurrier and less defined, where does that leave them? we feel like everything becomes less stable, because in most books, we're used to the protagonist telling us how we should feel.

so it feels like the possibility of things going south for our favourite characters is all too real, and no one likes that. i hate the idea of jude and cardan not getting their perfect happy ending, whatever that looks like... but i'm not too sure that i want it to look any different to how we expected it: them being in love, high king and queen forever and ever and having lots of children, until they get too old and tired and decide to retire together.

of course, the plot itself also destabilises the chances of this, but i won't go into that in detail here just in case someone with a taste for chaos has decided to read this far (!! i said begone, demon !!)

but here's the thing, like i said, in holly's books, the characters are first and foremost people. jude makes mistakes, does so many horrible things, and tbf in the reading community, we have a bit of a nasty habit of glorifying that, and just saying slay, she's a badass (which she IS, but also guys... murder... bad...?), especially when it's the main character (see the way people still villainize taryn... but that's a whole other discussion.) and what does that mean? it means independence. yes there's mention of fate in the books, but there is independence and true character growth.

now here's the thing. we have a whole other book to come. i doubt that holly is going to leave suren where she is (unless she does which could also be so cool and open up a whole new universe of opportunity for the direction in which elfhame goes and whilst this might be completely evil, i could so get behind that. ANYWAY) why is holly writing suren? what are suren's fears? what is suren's motivation rn? if we examine all of these things, we see that wren is still grappling with all of these things, and that the position she is in right now isn't going to help her or satisfy her.

suren's whole life has been dictated by the greed and megalomania of the people around her. she is suffering because of that exact greed and megalomania. power will not heal her, not like this, at least.

and finally, coming to oak. holly has already played the 'i-don't-want-to-be-king-but-ends-up-being-one-and-a-really-good-one-because-i-didn't-want-to-be-one-in-the-first-place' card with cardan. i don't personally think she's planning on playing it again with oak. i think it's a really clever way of suggesting at it, and reminding us, and showing us what we're used to, but i think oak is being honest. ofc, i also HOPE he is being honest.

there is also the next book's title to think about (the prisoner's throne) but in all honesty, i don't think speculating on that will be worthwhile. holly really could throw anything at us.

i have a couple of other thoughts, about jude and cardan and what might be going on there, but those thoughts don't really sit right with me and aren't really constructive to the happy endings lol so i don't like them and will not be sharing bc i do not have to !! 🥰

all in all, if you didn't like it because of what it suggests for our favourite high king and queen... anything could happen. i trust holly to write a book that truly devastates us all. but i hope that i've also shown you that what she has written is not unjustified. i'm not going to conclude with a what i think will happen, even though i have very strongly suggested it because i don't want to jinx anything... if i'm wrong, i'm wrong, and i'll happily be wrong, though i know my happiness isn't guaranteed...

#the stolen heir spoilers #stolen heir #the folk of the air #queen suren #oak greenbriar #prince oak #suren #oak x wren #oak x suren #elfhame #high queen of elfhame #high king of elfhame #jude duarte #cardan greenbrair

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llycaons · 1 year

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ep38 (2/3): heartbreaking: the worst person you know just came out

man I feel like xxc is SUCH a romantic. he likes being in love he likes having a partner he's drawn to those idealized fairy-tale romances he doesn't look too deeply below the surface (consciously or not) because he just loves having that kind of connection with someone. and ah he and song lan were perfect for each other. if not for that foolish mistake...! but tragically he's not a main character so his suffering will lead not to a happy ending but to death

anyway. scream? I assume these are yi city residents? fuck, but that's so many. an entire city

he just loves giving those expressions to xy for no reason. unhinged menace

this is honestly hilarious. obviously 'all he wanted was a domestic life with famer's market trips uwu' is a patently absurd claim because look what he DID with that life but I cannot lie this is very funny to me. like sure maybe DEEP DOWN that's all he wanted but my sympathy for him is like. nonexistent because look what he chose to do

also. this man is gasping in fear. does xxc not notice?? willfully ignorant, perhaps

SONG LAN!!!! thank god you're here there is such bullshit going down here xxc needs you. he just lit up so much when he heard about xxc

she's such a little survivalist <3

omg remember that translation meta that described sl's answer as like 'he is world-endingly beautiful' or something? first of all he was right. they casted xxc perfectly, second of all how the hell did she write this and not make them canon gay. insane.

this kills me bc at this point SL KNOWS but I don't think he even considered approaching this with the care he would have needed to. and why not just confront xy? it's not like he knows xy has a tool to make xxc kill him

also sl is standing here in broad daylight and xy just walks past him? I mean his back is to sl but that's weird, I feel like he'd notice him just STANDING there esp if a-qing jerks away and hides

damn I hope she hasn't been hiding every time xy is around. that's her home too. she could technically leave but I doubt she wanted to abandon xxc. and she's not likely to trust any of the sects to intervene either even if she told them. and I don't think she understands that xy is making xxc kill living people

witnessing sl see how xy treats xxc (familiarly, cruelly, lying) is like. that IS a man watching someone he loves involved with someone else who's hurting them. not even jealousy, just heartbreak and righteous anger. li bowen NAILED it

I don't think sl and xxc were ever actually together which just makes this entire thing more exquisitely painful

THE SINGLE TEAR

oohh and the BLOOD

at this point a-qing is distressed enough to grab onto wwx for comfort :(

it's not often that I see the xxc/xy situation described as abuse but xy DID abuse his power over xxc to trick him into murdering people (and then the heavy implication that they were in a relationship too 😬)

I love this expression from SL. no detached justice here. this man is furious and ready to kill

this fight scene is actually good? so many fight scenes in this show are bad and this one just rules. the chemistry, the action, the drama, the tragedy. what a neat and tight little narrative

ohh double-meanings. KILL HIM SONG LAN

this was so insane of xxc to do. man had one great love of his life and he dug out his eyes for him then walked away 😭

this is so funny though. he is the worst. oh SHIT THERE'S THE CHEETAH-PRINT ROBES. what a slay

also now xy won't stop rubbing it in his face and playing on sl's insecurities. deflecting from his own crimes. as jgy does, later in the temple. xy probably learned from him honestly. but don't fall for it song lan!!! he is literally using xxc to murder people!!!

this is a taunt eerily reminiscent of wwx. his voice goes up all high, like 'awww, were you SAD? huh?' wwx taunts like this, all sarcastic. but also he's not like, evil

BITCH YOU'RE THE ONE LYING AND MANIPULATING HIM

when sl's tongue gets cut out, a-qing gets all this splashed on her. ugh

NOOOOOOOO XIAO XINGCHEN!!! THAT'S THE MAN YOU LOVE!!!

#cql re-rewatch #this is so upsetting!!! bro!!!!

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theikusabastash · 2 years

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I WAS GOING TO GO JUDGE FUTA WHEN I FORGOT ABOUT MY VOTING PREDICTIONS SO ILL PUT THEM DOWN HERE

Haruka - Guilty, Him being more aligned with someone like Mu isn't going to do well for him- I might be wrong though there is like an army of Haruka enjoyers but i think even they were put off my the whole "mass murder" reveal, a shame really I wanted to see him being separated from Mu Yuno - Innocent, Think She's going to be straight innocent all the way in general, you just can't really twist "having abortions because of a unwanted child" into something that bad to be deemed guilty

Futa - Innocent, Pretty sure this was going to be the vote after everyone saw the results of uh...Kotoko but after Backdraft, yeah guilt and reluctance was clear as day.

Mu - Guilty, Have you read her song title and demeanor? Mu ilysm but these odds are terrible, not even including the whole Haruka thing, anyways so excited to see her mental down fall slay queen

Shidou - Innocent, I feel basically everyone's realized he's going to need to be innocent for the medical knowledge, cause theres probably going to be more fights, cough cough guilty prisoners lashing out, cough cough gangin up to beat up kotoko lookin at you futa and mikoto

Mahiru - Innocent, Have you seen her?

Kazui - Innocent, honestly i don't know for him, his voting can go either way it mostly depends on his mv, his song is more jazzy and will probably tell us more about him, I'm leaning more towards innocent (not because he's one of my favs...) but because he did save Futa, that probably leaves a better impression then others.

Amane - Innocent, Has everyone learned there meta voting lessons?, Mhm? Yup? shut up bill nobody cares, Yea? then leave the traumatized child alone heartheart

Mikoto - Guilty, feel like he's almost guaranteed this result, like Yuno- but in reverse, my man is just not....not it

Kotoko - Guilty, Right so. think about the people she beat up, Mhm now think about those characters fanbases? Mhmmm

#milgram #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha

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wakanai · 10 months

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i know oda is the blorbo of all time if im remembering correctly, but what's your top 5 bungo favs?

AAAAAA

omygosh!! An ask from you??

Sure!! Hmm.. tbh besides Oda, I haven't really thought about it that much. But I'll think hold on

******************** (pending) *******

5 bungo favs (besides Oda 🤭)

BEAST Atsushi

: ugh. something about how he is literally how Atsushi would be like if Atsushi was in the PM. There's just something that attracts me to him. Like most characters in BSD, he isn't evil and doesn't enjoy the things he does. He's deeply traumatized. He has a shy-kind personality but is placed in the PM where he's made to be a murderer. Interestingly, he isn't as obsessed with BEAST Dazai's approval as Akutagawa was with Canon Dazai (maybe bc Dazai liked Atsushi more? idk..) But BEAST Atsushi has sm going for him and I'm curious about his life after BEAST. I'd like to see more of it ❤️ (don't even get me started on the fanarts of BEAST Atsushi meeting lit. anyone in the Canon world).

2. Verlaine

: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside him. What makes humans human? What makes him worthy of human dignity when he's just a bunch of codes? Honestly his thoughts and existential crisis is tragic. The fact that he wanted to raise chuuya in the countryside too 😭 and how he helped Chuuya save the world because deep down he knew one person who he thought deserved to live. How he hasn't moved on from said person. How he trains PM assasins to become weapons for the Port Mafia even though he's gone through the same thing. How he (both metaphorically and physically) isn't in the light because he's literally been rotting in a basement for 6 years. No friends. No family. Nothing outside that interests him. With no purpose other than teaching because Rimbaud used to teach too. No one in the mafia can reach him emotionally. He could be like BEAST Dazai tbh. I can see it. Except rimbaud is dead so Verlaine just decided to.. stay in a basement and rot. Someone bring him out of there please 😭😭

(also in another version of BSD I thought of in my head, I gave him a sort of backstory so that increased my personal attachment lol)

And speaking of the guy Verlaine misses...

3. Rimbaud

: This guy... has so much love to give. Idk much about his past but he was a government spy. As I've seen others mention, He may have had to abandon family members for his job. By the time he met Verlaine, he must have been so lonely that he decided to pour all his love into this one partner whom he intended to be with forever. So. Dang. Selfless. Got betrayed by Verlaine. Still went to hell and back for him. Also Verlaine disliked him while he was still alive so there must have been so many moments where he got hurt by Verlaine (like that one birthday gift 😭) but he still kept trying to be a good friend and doing everything to make Verlaine happy. Even when he got amnesia, Verlaine was the one thing he remembered. He didn't even expect Verlaine to apologize!!! Like?? Instead HE was the one who apologized for not understanding Verlaine. He held no grudges whatsoever. My gosh. That's true love right there. He gave Verlaine his all and expected nothing in return. Even when Verlaine betrayed him or didn't appreciate him or was mean to him, he cared sm. Even in his dying moments, his main concern was Verlaine. ouch.

Besides that, he's VERY cool. His ability slays (literally) and his long black hair is just 😫✨

Rimbaud should've picked me instead. I would've treated him much better than Verlaine did 🤭🙄 /j

4: Mori Ogai

OHHHH~ controversial character alert ‼️

Hehe alright. *cracks knuckles*

I initially didn't have much feelings for Mori. I thought he was a pedo and hated him as a villain (cause of how much of a threat he was and what he did to the characters) but I also didn't think about him a lot. And it was hard for me to grasp his character.

Thankfully though, the BSD fandom made me change my mind after a while 🤭

@the-boss-of-the-port-mafia made this amazing compilation of Mori analyses that made me appreciate him more.

also my tumblr bestie @plinko-mori helped me understand him <3

Long story short, tumblr made me realize 2 things:

a. Mori may not actually be a pedo

b. He's more emotional than he lets on

^^ This description was made by Asagiri himself 😶

anyways onto my rambling abt Mori 😭

I like him. I think he's badass. He's giving anti-hero vibes ✨ and he's also tragic in a way because he's doing what he thinks is best for Yokohama and the PM even if he has to be ruthless about it. At heart, he has good intentions. He hates war. He hates needless violence (he disliked the previous bloodthirsty boss; suggested that his death would leave to even more violence during the guild arc; has not once been shown to enjoy committing violence for kicks and giggles; etc). He manipulated Yosano because he thought it was the optimal solution and would result in them winning. He planned Oda's death because again, it was the optimal solution and would result in the mafia winning + less casualties. If there's a conflict, Mori is the guy who will pick the fastest, most convenient solution even if it means getting his hands dirty. He'll always pick the lesser evil with no hesitation.

While characters like Fitzgerald/Dazai/Junichiro would sacrifice the world to save their loved ones, Mori would sacrifice his feelings/loved ones to save the world (not that he's extremely attached to anyone. this guy is very lonely lol. His face when he told Koyou that she could leave the PM and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it shows just how much he's resigned to losing people.)

That being said, it does hurt him when he loses people.

This post by @hina-has-no-life explains very well his regret towards Dazai and Yosano 😭

In BEAST, he didn't have to play the role of the mafia boss hence, he showed his softer sides and treated Atsushi like a son, even admitting that he regrets not being able to help Dazai.

so..yeah. There's something interesting about a villain who forces himself to ignore his emotions for the sake of doing 'the greater good.'

Yes, Mori is manipulative, makes millions from exploiting people via the PM, has done many bad things, will continue to do bad things --but he does have a heart (even if he constantly ignores it lol).

It's also worth mentioning that apparently the management in Yokohama is so bad, the Port Mafia (a literal criminal org) is the one responsible for keeping the crime rate in check (considering bsd Yokohama gets bombed like every month tho, Ig that checks out 😭)

Anywy. Mori. yeah, he's shades of grey (the darker side). Like Dazai, he can act like a silly uncle sometimes. His backstory is so cool with lots of potential.

From military doctor (holy hell. military doctors in history are usually involved in a LOT of shady things) to an underground doctor (uhm. how and why?) to finally, the boss of the Port Mafia.

so interesting. and so much potential.

The quote, "I must be cruel to be kind" suits him quite well.

About the mafia though - I do wonder what he does being filthy rich 🤭 besides the constant ignoring of emotions, I'm sure he must have some greed or ambition in there. That makes him even more nuanced imo.

Ahhhh

and last but not the least:

Mr. Bungou himself

this man, I-

***if I had to insert every single analysis of this guy that I like, my PC would crash LOL***

I won't elaborate too much since Ikyk hehe 🤭

hmm..

I hated Dazai at first cause I felt he was overrated. While watching the anime, I was annoyed that Dazai seemed to be able to solve everything and that no one could defeat him and that he was presented as this 'untouchable figure' of sorts. I'm like, 'WHY DOES HE KEEP WINNING' as if he's omniscient or something like a deus ex machina 😭

overtime, I grew to like him tho (mostly because of Oda LOL 😂)

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT

his character is interesting (especially in the LNs. I think he's more nuanced in there than in the anime).

I like how he's clearly hiding his heart from everyone around him. He doesn't open up to anyone. Doesn't reveal his plans unless he deems it necessary. manipulates team mates in certain situations (ex: what he did to aku and atsushi). continues to act like a jerk (messes kunikida's plans for fun; belittles akutagawa, etc.)

He's a manipulative jerk with little empathy for strangers but he's trying to fight for the good side. he's trying to save people. he's trying to be better. (and he is actually being better).

Reminds me a lot like Jouno tbh haha.

he's also a little menace with a dark but goofy side to him.

In the BSD rewrite fic I have in my little head, I like to imagine PM Dazai as somewhat like Mahito from jjk. (In the sense that he's an absolute nightmate, truly the "Demon prodigy" whose "blood is blacker than the mafia" but who also has a very childish feel to him).

Ik it's implied that Dazai did in fact commit atrocities like killing innocent people, killing mafia suboordinates who were subpar, torturing people, etc. but I'd like to see more of that. I'd like to see PM Dazai actually hurting someone the audience cares for and being evil instead of it just being told to us by the narrator/other characters.

Like yes, we got bits of his 'evilness' in SB, Dark Era and BEAST but Ig I just want more of that on focus 🤭

like, don't just tell me 'His blood is blacker than the mafia.'

Make me FEEL chills from reading him; make me think, 'oh this kid is really a devil spawn. I hate him' before moving onto dark era and making me surprised that 'dang. i never thought i could feel bad for this dude.'

idk it's prob just a preference I have. 😅

Same with the PM too. I wish we got to see them doing more of their exploitative work to better understand it when characters describe them as 'the demons of Yokohama' or something along those lines. Cause from season 1-3 (of the anime), they kind of...felt less threatening? Season 4-5 was quite a ride though.

ANYWAY MOVING BACK TO DAZAI

The face of BSD. Mr. Bungou 🤭🤭 I think he's a very cool and interesting character. I want him to cry lol.

I want him to LOSE IT in the main manga before the series ends and see what happens.

RN, he's bottling up a lot and is using different masks. It would be interesting to see him being himself more.

aand that's all hehe 🤭😄

Honourable mentions:

✨Adam ✨

"N" <- interesting because despite being who he is, he apparently genuinely cared for his younger brother, Murase. I just find those kinds of things interesting ig..

******

Also it is with great shame that I confess..

I haven't finished reading Stormbringer yet LOL 🤪🤡🤡

(but I did read some spoilers 😂😭)

so if there are any inaccuracies regarding that, please feel free to correct me <33

******* end ******

RANDOM:

Idk I just wanted to share this cause it's funny and (kind of) related.

But a bsd tiktok account I follow used to be named

Ngh~Chuuya~H-Harder~

(yes the fandom is insane 😂😭)

but recently, they changed it to

Ngh~Beast Atsushi~H-Harder~

and I found that funny for some reason lol.

****

anywy thank you for the ask!!! I hope you liked it hehe 🤭❤️❤️❤️❤️

#thank you for the ask cousticks!#TT <333333 #aww u missed me HEHEHEHE #mwaa *blows kiss #asks #my asks #bsd #bsd characters #tw: slight dazai and bsd criticism ig #this is in no particular order btw #tho dazai prob ranks 1st on the list #cuz i think abt him a lot

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theoutlawfaleena · 1 year

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Hey there! 👋 Not sure if this account is still used by you 🥹 but I wanna share some brainrot anyway. 😊

I dislike how COD manages to rot my brain every few months 🙄 and is then not quiet, but silent for another few months 😶‍🌫️ so I apologise for being here and not being here sometimes. 🫠👍

By the way, this brainrot is a mix of tiktok headcanons and my own. 🤝

Alright; I was thinking a bit about König in the past week. 🥰 Yk, think of him as a character that isn't an infant that constantly needs help. 🤠 So, what's the opposite of a school kid? You guessed it, a murderer! 😌

Now before you think: "Zombie-Anon, what the fuck are you talking about??" 😳 Let me arrange the rest of the pictures. 😉e

In König's backstory, bullying plays quite a big role 😤 and I think he joined the military at the age of 17 (either canonically of some other tumbler theorised that) which ain't common in Austria. 🇦🇹⛰️🍻

So... what if the bullying got so bad 😟 that he snapped one day and either did kill one bully or simply attempted to do it. 🫢

Now, based on what my sister just told me, this would result in teenjail, some massive amount of rehabiliation and therapy and probably no entry into the military... 😬 but since this is Call of Duty I'm gonna ignore that. 😎

Or if we do want to stay realistic, 🤔😥 König 100% has murderous thoughts. Stop supervising him and he'll strike at whoever he's mad at. 🤩 This man is filled with rage, murder, metal and the ability to kill casually. 👍

And since it has been some time, I have fully stopped working on my Zombie-AU simply because I've got no motivation for that anymore. 🥲 Instead I've been reworking a COD OC of mine, whose really slaying now 😏 and I have no idea how I was able to create the thing I made at the very beginning?? She was bland, had an uninteresting backstory and no spice whatsoever. 😒 I also created an OC that's like, sort of the opposite of her snd he slays a lot as well. 😌

I love traumatised characters, they're my favourite flavour.

Signing off, Zombie-Anon. 🧟💛

oh my gosh. zombie anon. i'm so happy to hear from u 🥺 u and i both are just going thru phases of falling off the face of the earth i fear 😭 i do still pop in on this acc from time to time but life has been life-ing and i haven't been able to write or do anything with it in a rlly long time 🥺 and every time i do get motivation i fear the hype has since passed on, so i just kinda pop in and check every now and then and then skedaddle 😔

listen 😳 u know how much i love unhinged könig,, i 100% think he has some pent up rage from his youth and mayhaps it manifests in some battlefield behaviors 🫶🏻 he absolutely has the capacity to snap necks on a whim and u know what?? i support his rights and his wrongs.

i would be lying if i said i'm not mourning the zombie au rn 💔💔 but i totally understand losing motivation for something and moving on to better things. never lose ur creativity. i'm excited to see what else u have to share 🫶🏻

#🧟anon ask

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wroteonedad · 1 year

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Scream (1996) Slayed

I feel as though this is something that I have probably mentioned a million times before which is that when I was growing up, I never had the attention span to be able to sit down and watch a movie. It feels my entire adult life is me playing catch up on the millions of cult classic movies and TV shows for me to finally be able to pick some favourites. I can finally say that I have watched enough movies that I am starting to notice that certain actors do keep popping up in many different franchises though.

Here is where the me watching films thing gets worse. While I was bedridden and sick with the flu last week, I decided that it would be a great idea for me to watch Scream, as in the new reboot of it with Ms Wednesday Addams that came out last year, but it was the second one she was in. I decided it would be great to miss a whole 25 years of the franchise and just delve into the brand new film as if I really knew anything about it. But oddly. I did end up quite enjoying that film too??? Anyway, to the point. Scream (1996) has to be one of the most camp horror cinematic masterpieces I have ever seen.

A movie that I simply decided I wanted to add to my list on Netflix as I was endlessly scrolling through my feed and looking for those no thoughts head empty types of films that I can revisit whenever I feel like it, which by that point half of those films already are not available on the platform to stream anymore. Scream however, is close to its Netflix execution as I opened the film and it reads 'last chance to watch 31 May', devastated, I accepted it and delved into the movie.

The opening scene of the movie is all for our favourite 90s girlie, Drew Barrymore as Casey. She is seen in her large American home situated in what looks like the British countryside as she is waiting for her boyfriend to arrive and is cooking popcorn ready to watch a horror movie when she receives a mystery call from Ghostface. Casey quickly hangs up, assuming the incorrect number has been dialled when he calls again, saying he just wants to talk to her. He flirts over the phone asking what her favourite horror movie is and that he'll tell her his name so long as she tells him hers before announcing on another phone call that she needs to answer some questions since her boyfriend is tied to a chair on the patio. When she is asked a trick question, Ghostface proceeds to gut him alive and then kill Casey. What is really iconic about this is that for the promotional means of this movie, it was Barrymore that was featured on all of the movie posters in order to hype the movie up, even though she is only in the film for an average of 6 minutes. But that's okay because Courtney Cox and Shaggy from Scooby Doo are also in the movie.

Cut to another home, also situated in this countryside area is where we meet Sidney. The same evening as the murder of Casey, we learn that Sidney's dad is going away for the weekend and we also meet her boyfriend, Billy. Billy gives off the energy of a bad popular boy from school and is quickly noted as an important main character for the duration of the movie.

It seems that news of the murder has spread around the highschool like wildfire, the following morning the place is swarming with news reporters and the authorities, who are viewing every person in the school as a suspect and quickly roll out a curfew across the town. We then meet Sidney's friends, who are all the important characters of the movie. Tatum, the pretty popular girl with the bubbly personality. Stu, the goofball of the group, though I'm sure I think that because he is literally Shaggy and despite him having such a range of roles, I cannot see him as anybody else ever. Then we also have Randy, the friendship groups loveable loser. This guy works in the video store and is a huge horror movie buff, which of course makes him the most meta character in the movie.

I just want to add to this that the other main character worthy of any note is of course Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox), the lady that is hyperfixated on the supernatural, the life of Ghostface and writing an entire conspiracy theory book on the murder of Sidney's mother Maureen. Gale is the most slay character of this entire movie even if she always finds herself in the worst situations (being punched in the face, murdered like 4 times in this movie alone etc, but she is the most girlboss of them all).

Ghostface then decides to target Sidney, he is the killer of her mother a year prior. Sidney slates him, claiming that he is full of empty threats and how embarrassing it is to be the protagonist in a horror movie where you are nothing but a bad actor with huge boobs running up the stairs away from the bad guy. Sidney is also targeted by a fake Ghostface at school, which to be honest I was convinced it was the real guy the whole time. I also forgot the part where by this point in the story, Ghostface had already attempted to kill Sidney once where he disappears and Billy shows up within seconds of Ghostface leaving. Suspicious? I think so too.

Sidney ends up staying over at Tatum's place where we also meet Dewey Riley (Tatum's brother), the local police officer who becomes more of as welfare officer to Sidney during this time. Except for when Sidney literally leaves the room for one minute, she is once again being contacted by Ghostface.

Shortly after in the story, the principal decides to suspend all classes with immediate effect. 5 minutes later, he is also murdered by Ghostface. There is a scene of him wandering around the office area of the school, as if sensing the presence of Ghostface and instead scaring himself every time he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, any mirror. His murder is forgotten about for a little while in the story as Stu decides to plan a big house party to celebrate all class suspension while his parents are also out of town. Truthfully I think all of these parents just don't care what happens to their kids while there's a literal killer on the loose.

Let's flashforward to the main event, Stu's party. Officer Dewey decided to drive Sidney and Tatum to the party which is weird because I thought the town had a curfew and all of the students at the school were considered to be suspects in the murder of Casey and her boyfriend (I'm really sorry, I forgot his name because he was nothing in the movie to me).

Ironically, this party is also the place for Ghostface to really unleash themselves.

Tatum goes down to the garage to fetch some more beers out of the fridge. Sadly for her, Ghostface appears, trapping her into the garage. At first, she tries to leave through the garage door before Ghostface abruptly closes it in front of her. She looks at him dead in the eye before saying the one sentence that stole the entire movie, 'No, please don't kill me Mr Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!'. Spoiler alert, she isn't. After pelting him with bottles of beer, she then decides to try and escape through the cat flap at the bottom of the garage door. She maybe gets about a fifth of her body through this before Ghostface decides to open up the door, crushing poor Tatum's body and killing her.

Downstairs Randy (remember him) is showing the rest of the party horror movies, explaining the three things you should never do in a horror movie. A, never have sex. Sidney and Billy have decided to make up at this point of the film and she is upstairs losing her virginity. B, never drink alcohol. This causes the whole party to cheer as they then shortly after find out the principal was killed and they all decide to leave the party so they can see that which is so ???? And C, never say I'll be right back because you will not be back at all. This is the line that Gale Weathers says to her news guy before going for a walk with Dewey. Randy then proceeds to watch horror movies featuring a young Jamie Lee Curtis in them where he is seen saying 'BEHIND YOU' where Ghostface is also behind Randy.

It then ends up with Ghostface locating Sidney, killing Billy and then chasing Sidney around to kill her too. There is a wild goose chase scene, she finds Tatum hanging from the garage door and locks herself into a car without the keys before running into the newscasters van where he is also killed by Ghostface in front of Sidney. She then manages to escape where she finds that Billy is still alive and opens the front door to a hysterical Stu and Randy. I forgot what happened to Randy because he just seemed to disappear for a good portion of the end action scene for whatever reason. Randy claims that Stu has gone mad when Billy slams the door on Stu's face to which he reveals 'we all go a little mad sometimes' revealing him as one of the killers. It is quickly revealed that Stu is the other Ghostface and since Gale has been filming everything in the living room, she has the whole scoop that she needs to cover the whole reveal.

To summarise, Billy dies another three times before finally apparently dying, Gale keeps dying but the girlboss also came back to life so she could shoot Billy. I think the best way to describe the very end of the movie is with this.

youtube

I loved how self-aware this movie really was. To be a first movie from the franchise and parody itself well is one hell of a skill to have and I enjoyed every minute of this film. I think that Randy was done so dirty considering he essentially carried how meta this film was and I would like to hope that I see him come back in the future films. I haven't actually seen them yet so I need to spend some time getting through the whole franchise here. It's also fun to see a character like Sidney who is portrayed as the strong smart woman, I feel like this is something that was rather uncommon for a film in the 90s and so that was fun. No matter what happens too, Gale Weathers is the ultimate girlboss and there is nothing anyone can say to me that could possibly change that. It just makes sense to me that this movie is a cult classic.

#writing #review #movie review #scream review #scream

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under-the-cherrytree · 3 years

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uhhh i don’t know how many characters per hc request is aloud but can i request teru , tsukasa , and mitsuba’s (separate) partner dying in their arms? (if it’s to many then just tsukasa and mitsuba, or if this request makes you uncomfortable in any way then you can just ignore it)

Tsukasa, Mitsuba, and Teru’s s/o dying in their arms headcanons❣︎

Warning: Death and description about it

A/n: I probably should have specified that in my rules-

You can request one to three, sorry for the confusion!

Sorry this came out so late… I was busier that I thought I would be yesterday...

Anyways… enjoy!

Tsukasa loves you so muchhhhhh!

He likes to take you on adventures through boundaries with him

When he’s in a boundary he never been in before, you will be there holding his hand as he leads the way

Unlike most of the boys, he wouldn’t mind if you were there with him when he was fighting another supernatural

He loves the praise and thanks he gets from you when he defeats them

Tsukasa believes in his strength and capability to beat his opponent

So it comes as a shock when he couldn’t stop the supernatural from attacking you

It happened in an instant

Not even enough time to call his Kokujoudai

He turned around to see you being impaled in the chest by the supernatural

What the hell was happening?

“Who the hell… DO YOU THINK YOU ARE-?!”

The spirit turned to see Tsukasa about to hit them but they vanished into thin air before he could attack

Once he realized the apparition what gone he rushed to your side

He kneeled down and picked up your dying body, letting your blood stain his cloths and hands

“GO GET SAKURA, OR NATSUHIKO, OR-OR AMANE! JUST GET SOMEBODY!” Tsukasa voice was cracking and his Kokujoudai vanished

His bangs was covering his eyes but you saw the tears trailing down his face

“Don’t worry… it’s going to be okay…”

You tried to bring your hand up to cup his cheek

When he saw your hand falling back down he was quick to grab it and place it to his check for you

Your blood from his hands rubbing onto yours

“Please… I don’t want you to go… you mean too much to me, please…”

He watched as the light slowly left your eyes

Gritting his teeth, he stayed with you until someone pried you out of his hands

He blamed himself.

No one but himself.

If he had never brought you, he would have never ended up losing you.

He started to get more violent and snap at his friends for no reason

“Tsukasa, how does this rumor sound-?”

“WHATEVER SAKURA, JUST GET OUT OF HERE!”

She flinched when he snapped at her and just decided to leave him alone for a while

He distanced himself from the group

People know he is going through a lot and that its not that safe to be with him when he's like this

Hanako was very concerned about his younger twin after hearing the news

He went to check on him to make sure he was okay

“Hey Tsukasa… how have you been?”

Tsukasa didn’t even look at him.

Just sat on his chair staring at the ground

“Well, if you ever want to talk you know where to find me…”

Hanako vanished leaving Tsukasa alone again

Had a lot of panic attacks by himself

He would be on his knees and just claw at his chest and cry in the other room

If someone asked about it he would just snap at them as well

He was too weak to beat the supernatural

He was too weak to dave you

When Mitsuba died he was forgotten by most people

He felt like he nether belonged in the human world or supernatural world

But when he’s with you he feels like he belongs

Like someone sees him

And when he has you that's all you could ever ask for

He barely remembers how this all started

All he remembered was that there was a supernatural and it wanted blood

He always thought he was weak

When in danger, he would joke around hiding behind you saying he was to cute to die

But if something every did try to attack you, he would instantly be at your side blocking the hit from hitting you

But he wasn’t able to block this hit

He ran to your side instantly

“LEAVE!” Mitsuba screamed tears running down his checks

The supernatural got forced out by hands through mirrors since it wasn’t his boundary

He focused on stopping the bleeding

“You-you cant go you stupid idiot! Getting h-hurt in battle, are you i-insane..?”

His voice was shaky as he stuttered

He tried to laugh it off as a joke

Saying you can’t die

You can't leave him

He needs you

“No… this is all a bad dream huh? You are going to be okay!”

His was raising his voice now trying to force his mind to believe the impossible

But you were out of his reach

Out of his protection as your life slipped away from you

Everything reminds him of you one way or another…

He sees pretty flowers, oh, that's a good picture. Pictures, he used to take pictures of you all the time…

He wouldn’t isolate himself from people

He would stay but he would quite

His eyes dull

Not being cocky in any way

Only speaking when spoken too

It was quite noticeable by all that this has affected him

Kou tires to encourage him as much as he could but that was quite hard

“I’m sorry Mitsuba... “

“I needed her in my life… I needed her with me… but I was weak. I am an idiot..!”

Tsukasa was right

He is weak

He’s a coward

He’s a blind fool that fell in love with someone who he couldn’t protect.

He always disliked supernaturals

Never once has he saw any good in them

And when he found out you had the ability to see supernaturals as well he was shocked

He would try to keep you as far away from any spirit

He didn’t trust them and would never want to see one hurt you

But unfortunately, that was hard in this situation

He was trying to slay the supernatural while protecting you

This was quite hard because you weren't an exorcist so he kept most of his attention on you

But he missed the supernatural piercings you

Teru, now pissed, killed it before it could cause any more harm to you

Once it was dead he rushed to your side picking you up in his arms

From the look of the wound he knew you weren’t going to make it...

“T-Teru… “

He knew he had to be strong

Be strong for you

He didn’t want the last thing for you to see what him grieving or yelling

He smiled gently and placed his forehead on yours and tears streamed down his face and onto your cheek

“Shhhhh, hey, it’s going to be okay. I love you so much… it will be over soon...”

He continued this until he felt your body become cold

That’s when he started to let out all his tears

He couldn’t hold a exorcist weapon without thinking about you

He hasn’t exorcised in a long time

All he thinks about is how he failed you

People at school will ask his how he is and how he is handling the death

He simply puts on a brave face

He will say that he prefers not to talk about it and they won’t push it anymore

He has always put on that brave smile when situations were bad

But now he was struggling to hold it

He cries at night looking at pictures of you on his phone

He has pictures of you hung up in his room

Since normal people don’t know about supernaturals, they just labled it as a unsolved murder

Teru was especially angered because he knows how you really died

It hurts him knowing that he failed someone so special to him

That he failed someone who he loved

#tbhk x reader #mitsuba x reader #tsukasa x reader #teru x reader #toilet bound hanako kun

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yisanged · 2 years

Note

wait i wanna hear your judgements on all the milgram characters now because im curious and i feel like it actually says a lot about a person. if you wanna

yes hi sam hi. okay.

well first i want to say that i'm not super knowledgeable on all the theories and analyses out there so there might be stuff i'm missing that would change my opinions. i am still kinda lost on where exactly you get access to all the milgram content so there's a lot i'm not in the know on. second is that i don't think it's really fair to judge whether or not the characters are forgivable especially since we don't know all the details yet. i obviously learned about milgram a bit late but i would've voted innocent for all of them honestly because like. they all caused the death of another person for sure which is obviously Bad. but i feel like we don't really have a right to form opinions on whether they're forgivable or not. there's still a lot we don't know about their individual circumstances and even if we did know everything we're not even involved other than as outside observers so idk it just doesn't fully sit right. even if they are fictional characters created specifically to be judged by us. so yeah i would've voted them all innocent and i probably will for trial 2 too unless shit starts hitting the fan. of course i do have opinions about each of the characters beyond that and i will be glad to share them 💯

my favorites first. haruka is. scrunkly. fr. his presumed crimes are beating that dog to death and drowning/choking his brother which i think on a personal level is one of the worse crimes out of the characters? but i like him so it's okay. i'm interested in learning more about his situation and character his first trial video left me wondering about that stuff the most out of all of them. amane. ouugh. religious trauma always gets to me in characters. people who said she needed to get voted guilty so she learns the consequences of her actions or whatever are so annoying... like yeah sure that stuff is important i guess but. you think the best way to teach morals to a 12 yo raised in a cult is by slapping her with the guilty and unforgivable label after she gets kidnapped to a strange prison??? while not even knowing what might happen to her after she is voted guilty????? seriously what did they do to her i might kill. anyways. futa. he's a twitter user and he has a black and white sense of justice and thinks he has the authority to judge someone as good or bad. none of those are points in his favor but idk i still really like his character for some reason. i think if he made some friends and stopped going on social media he would be mostly fixed honestly. mu i also really like not for any particular reason... i mean she seems kind of spoiled and whiny but idk. i just like her. being the odd girl out is a relatable experience for me. she's pretty and her song was one of my favorites. these four are the ones i care the most about and want to learn more about

the rest..... i never had any strong feelings towards mahiru in the beginning but i feel kind of bad that she was one of the few that got voted guilty like the way she said things along the lines of if you leave me i'll die and i can't live without you was kind of. uh. but i didn't think her crime seemed that unforgivable especially compared to some of the others that didn't get voted guilty? idk. i mentioned not liking mikoto and i stand by that. i don't really buy into the mental illness/multiple personalities theories and i'll honestly be kind of disappointed if they turn out to be true that's such an overdone and harmful and annoying murderer trope. i think he's just a guy that likes violence and killing and is really good at lying about it after. which is pretty slay for him i guess. it just annoys me how many people latch on to the mental illness thing and it annoys me even more how many people are horny for this guy. they're probably the reason i don't like him actually other than that i don't really have anything against him. i'm not a hardcore yuno fan like she doesn't make me normal but i do love and support her. i like kotoko too the vigilante type thing i'm pretty sure she has going on is interesting but. i know i said i would vote them all innocent but i don't love that her getting voted innocent is leading her into thinking she's working with es behind the scenes i don't think she's that trustworthy. shidou. organ harvester possibly? medical malpracticer most definitely. i don't know i guess i'd want more details before saying anything else i don't have many thoughts about him with what we have right now. i don't really like kazui on a personal level but his story does interest me i want to know more details. es is there. i'm curious about what the story there is and all but they honestly don't interest me that much beyond the standard amount.

anyways this has been my opinions on the milgram characters. it's not super in depth i just kinda briefly touched on my main thoughts because this answer is already too long i am so sorry. but. yeah. i hope you still think im cool

#owww ow yowch....! thoughts about media #SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. characters make me so.#ask

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Spear of Selene or THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES, GOD OF HOMEROTIC SUBTEXT OUT OF MYTH!

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my coverage of the Della arc! It’s our last 2017 episode before the Finale, and it’s a huge one as we delve into a fan faviorite that introduces a pair of fan faviorites, a drum of tzatkiki sauce worth of gay, an asshole so odious getting sent to the bowls of hades and laughed at for all enternity after being cast out by eveyrone he knows really was getting off light, and at last some plot progression on this arc. At the time it aired mind you at this point Dellas been a beloved cast member for three years, and we’ve known what happened to her for longer than that.

At the time though.. it’d been 8 MONTHS since the Great Dime Chase. Let that sink in. The Della reveal was the biggest hook of an already exceptional pilot: It not only promised to flesh out a character who’d had all of one story in the comics at this point in present day, but solve the mystery of why she was gone. Not only that but Scrooge and Donald’s feud clearly stemmed from this exact moment. And the first full episode in the arc confirmed it: Della had taken whatever “The Spear of Selene” was and apologized to Scrooge for it. So why had she taken it, why did Donald blame scrooge, why did Scrooge not blame himself, at least outwardly, where was she, what was the spear of selene...

As I pointed out last time airing order didn’t help and due to airing the arc episodes really close together, gave the impression the arc would not only move fast but take up more of the season than it did. In practice both arcs take up a fourth of the season not including the finale, which would take both up to about a third. The expectation on how much of the season would be taken up by the arc.. was on Disney for airing things badly. I will give credit where it’s do as they moved this episode up in the order to try and make up for it (and give themselves a huge mid season opener).. but then for some reason shoved the last episode before last crash, ie. the only one they coudln’t move, way back to right before that episode. “ Here’s an actual photo of the person who made this decision

As I said they did get better next season with only a few swaps and only for good reason. So props.

HOWEVER.... this episode still has some flaws with pacing and revealing info, with or without Disney drunk driving the schedule. The wait between episodes in this plot is an episode LONGER in production order... and dosen’t move the plot forward by much. I will get to that when the time comes.. and that DESPITE this treatment of the fans.. this episode is still one of the seasons best. How are both things true? Join me under the cut to find out.

Thunderstormy to be precise and the Sunchaser is natrually encountering loads of turbulence with Launchpad barely holding int here while Donald’s buffeted around the back. Why Donald’s with them...

But it’’s one of his only five starring episodes in the season, out of 9 appearances total the rest of which are cameos. Yeah now seems as good as time as any to talk about Season 1′s Donald Duck problem.

See Donald was promoted as a major part of the series, rightly so since he was reduced to a guest star for the 87 series due to a combination of Disney not wanting to overexpose the characters, people possibly not being able to understand his voice and thus making plots hard to understand, and Tony Anselmo being new to the roll at the time. So the reboot went all out promoting the fact Donald would be in it, front and center and gave him TWO character shorts to the rest of the casts one. Disney really went out of their way to show he’d be in there so as a certified Donald Fanatic, I was sure he’d actually be in the show a lot and on the adventures a lot. The crew were not blameless as both promotional arts featured him. Launchpad and Beakly conversely were asbent, so the impression given by all of this was that Donald would be central to the series and in a lot of episodes, given equal focus to scrooge and the kids.

This.. didn’t happen as you all know. Instead as stated he’s up front and center for 5 episodes, and makes cameos in others, but generally is hardly around. Now there is KINDA an excuse to this as he doesn’t want to adventure, be in the mansion or any of that.. but it’s a REALLY weak one. He still at least could’ve made more cameos, the fact he was working on the boat all that time isn’t made clear till last crash, and his two spotlight episodes both have him dragged along on the adventure anyway, so it’s not like his not wanting to be there meant he woudln’t be forced to join in anyway. There were ways to include him, still have him in a supporting role instead of leaving him back at the mansion.. and even the second episode proved there was still comedy to be mliked from that.. and pathos don’t forget the pathos. So yeah this was easily the biggest mistake of the season and one season 2 largely corrected: He got four dedicated plots, and was around a decent amount in the first half of the season and while he DID get shot up to the moon... it was for valid reasons. They wanted to focus on Della and the kids, give her room to breathe as a brand new major addition to the show, and thus him being around and the elephant in the room of his and scrooge’s feud that was never dealt with on screen, would’ve distracted from that. And even with that they still gave him a focus episode that somehow added more depth and MASSIVELY advanced the main plot, and a sizeable roll in the finale. Season 3 likewise had things better: while he shows up as much as in season 1, the episode count is lower by one, and he’s a major part of the plot in every one BUT Last Christmas, with four of those having the spotlight on him in some way. They eventually did figure out how to use him far more ballanced. So yeah credit where it’s do it got MUCH better, but he still felt like a recurring character in his own series, that was still bad, and I still needed to give out about it.

But Webby and Dewey have a mission even if Dewey dosen’t quite get what’s going on so they flip a switch to turn on a warning light of some kind forcing Launchpad to make an emergency landing on a gorgeous tropical island. To Huey’s amazement, as the place was apparenlty only a myth, though naturally the guidebook did have it’s aproximate location listed... Ithaquack, home of the gods. Naturally Scrooge and Donald want to leave as soon as possible for reasons we’ll get into but Launchpad , for once is being a responsible pilot “Better safe than.. something right? Scrooge is of course irate that Launchpad picked NOW of all times to be safe, and the Kids.. don’t listen because Huey sees a beautiful realm of myth, Louie sees a beach vacation and Dewey and Webby.. have work to do. Webby eventually fills Dewey in on why their here, having wrongly assumed he got why they were going to a mythical greek island. As Dewey delightfully puts it later “Don’t assume I know anything. “ So she pieces it together for him: Selene was the greek goddess of the moon... Della took the SPEAR of Selene. Ergo this island is the best place to find the Spear and failing that, Selene herself to get more info on it and Della.

So we have our two plots. Scrooge and Donald dealing with their pasts and the gods, and Dewey and Webby diving into his mom’s past. And unlike the last review where a genuinely unsettling story about an abuse victim forced to manipulate her girlfriend not going into a murder vault was paired with Louie having to deal with a Sasquatch while Huey catches a case of Dewey’s stupidity somehow, these two plots are perfectly paired: Their both perfectly thematically connected, both dealing with the past, Della’s absence and Scrooge and the Twins past encounters with the gods.. but both being self contained outside of that, entirely unconnected but stilll necessary to be in the same episode. THIS is how you do two plots. But since they don’t really synch up again till the end, let’s cover each one at a time shall we?

“What if My Mom was a Bad Person?”

The plot is pretty straight forward but expertly done: Dewey and Webby first check your standard Zelda dungeon which apparently has a cursed weapon at the end. We also get an utterly adorable and sweet shot of Webby comforting Dewey after he’s clearly shook from it. Awwww. Turns out it’s the SWORD of Selene. and quickly turns into a game of put the Cursed Sword back before we all die.

Next up is a monster who nearly kills both protecting it’s spear.. the spear of POSIDEN. (Look at meeeeee). And since they aren’t going to be on a boat that isn’t a house boat anytime soon, they don’t need that and the monster cheerfully redirects them, with Dewey apologizing for calling it ugly.

So all pretty standard stuff for the show and really good stuff.. but it’s the building tension underneath that truly makes the episode and leads to one hell of a climax for this plot. All the while Dewey is DESPERATE for some explination for his mom’s disapperance that isn’t her betraying Scrooge, maybe returning the spear because it was cursed or getting eaten by a monster. Just ANYTHING but the mounting and horrifying suspicion.. that his mom was a bad person who destroyed her family and betrayed her uncle and laughed all the while. Webby.. does not help, backing that side of things and constantly voicing hte idea Della betrayed Scrooge, so obsessed with solving the mystery of her life.. but so unfamilliar with people she dosen’t see the very real toll this is taking on her best friend. To her she’s just making a logical counterpoint.. to him it’s just another idea in his head about the way his mom could’ve betrayed everyone she cared about.

So that climax is where it explodes. Our heroes find a scale model of ithaquack (Complete with Tiny Maniticore! It’s so cute Webby just wants to slay it) and an opening.. with an ominous message about incurring the wrath of the god seemingly conforming the worst. So Webby prepares to find out the whole story.. only for Dewey to stop her. No one’s finding this out, whatever it is, no matter how far they’ve come. And given this is the biggest mystery of her life and she simply dosen’t understand WHY Dewey dosen’t want to know.. both sides are ready to fight for this. And Webby DOES try to back him down, pointing out he really can’t beat her in a fight. But Dewey’s already grown leaps and bounds form the pilot and is working smarter not harder. Beat Webby, who spent a good chunk of her life being honed into the most badass child on the parent, one who can take on several of scrooge’s worst foes one on one? Not on his life. But hold her off long enough for the gate to close? He can do that.

So the result? One of the best fights of the series... and given the sheer amount of great ones we’ve gottten since this one it still says something it holds up THIS well. It’s an even, furiously paced fight, with Dewey using every advantage he has including tossing said manticore to keep up, but not slowing down one bit. It’s heartbreaking to see the two come to this but it’s an delight to watch. Webby DOES win eventually, though time’s running out to get in and she finally asks WHY. And while the stakes have been crystal clear for both this whole time.. we get them laid out in the most painful way for both.

Webby: We're so close to the truth! Why won't you let us find it?! Dewey: Because...*his voice cracks* what if my mom was a bad person?

It hits VERY hard. For Webby this has been a puzzle something to solve the greatest achivment of her life, her chance to make her mark... and her best friend just wanted to abandon it. But in one swift response, he disarms all of that.. and makes her see how insnstivie she’s been: He may not know his mom.. but he can’t bear the thought she was a bad person. That she left or WORSE, because she didn’t care about him, or scrooge or ANYONE. Knowing nothing is better than knowing she was a monster.

Webby realizes what she’s been doing to her friend and is horrified and offers to back out. The answers.. aren’t worth destroying her brother. But her willingness to back down.. finally gets Dewey to see the light. His fear was valid.. but at the end of the day, it’d never go away. it’d just keep eating him for the rest of his life, every time she was mentioned or he found something else out he’d just wonder if it was a lie and wonder wht he COULD’VE learned this day. And if Webby’s willing to sacrifice THIS MUCH to give him peace of mind... then he can sacrifice that peace of mind for the truth, for her, and for himself. So he pulls them inside.

Inside they find Selene who suprises them.. and is then confused. Their not della. Also I guarantee mentally she’s thiking “Thank me I didn’t do it naked this time. “. After some confusion as to who this is, Webby explains that IS Selene, and Dewey begs for answers about the spear... only to find out she dosen’t have one. Nope. The sword seen before and a SPHERE, yes.. but no Spear. So the poor boy breaks down, back to square one. It’s hard not to see why... all this effort, all of this sacrifice.. and he’s no closer than when they first set down.

Selene does help though... giving him an idea of who his mom WAS: one of her closest friends (And let’s face it Della named the ship after Selene and Selene casually uses Della’s shower. If they didn’t go out at least once, I am an outer god. And I very much am not and they very much banged hard. Goodnight. ) , a good person who brought fun to everyone, and loved her family more than anything. Wether she betrayed Scrooge or not, she wasn’t a bad person. And her own orb shows it showing Della in her prime, brightly smiling next ot her family. Selene encourages the boy not to give up, that his mom always loved a mystery.. and he can solve this one and gently hugs the sobbing child.. with Dewey quickly pulling webby in. It’s genuinely touching and a satisfying ISH ending.

The ish... is because while this is a VERY good plot, i’ll gush more about it at the end, it does have one supreme flaw: the mystery dosen’t progress. And with the huge gaps between this episode and hte next one, in BOTH airing orders... it’s unforgivable to not have EITHER plot give us any hints about what happened. I don’t ask for much, but they could’ve found a clue in the sphere Dewey got, or saw a memory of her that brought up the next place they look, just something a little. While it’s still a very fine story, the main plot suffers a bit by having one of the ONLY three episodes delving into the della mystery before it’s fully revealed in sunchaaser have almost no progress. Della was probably a good person, which comes from her ex who clearly still loves her so that’s not really reliable, and the spear isn’t literal. While the lack of progress works for the story in the episode itself.. it comes at the cost of any actual plot progression. We end up exactly where we started and have to wait SOME TIME before we get to the next spot on the tour. Well we did, you guys will find out Monday or Tuesday depending on if the finale goes up in the morning or Disney holds it till the actual airing. Please don’t you bastards. Point is it’s VERY good plot, but it’s hampred by not really progressing the arc.

The arc progression for this storyline is painfully slow, and tha’ts not on disney. In either order there’s a MASSIVE gap of 15+ episodes between what we learned in the great dime chase and what we learn in castle mcduck. It’s sloppy writing and I expect better from this team, especially since the Lena plot the same season is far tighter paced: each one builds a bit, both on Lena as a character (Why she’s doing this etc), her development as a person, her relationship with webby growing and Magica and her growing more and more spiteful with one another. They could’ve had at least ONE MORE subplot to build this up, especially since we really dind’t need the sasquatch episode but just.. didn’t for whatever reason and it’s still frustrating. But as always credit where it’s due.. the next two seasons were better about it.

Season 2 while not perfect, and we’ll get to it’s plots someday.. and I do say plots as not alternating between the two plots for season 1 was a mistake if a well meaning one as not to drive up the price for Kev but for future refrence if any of you want me to cover an arc for something I WILL have to cover all of it or any adjacent to it that flow into it. Point is they move faster and both Glomgold and Louie’s are pretty lowkey and low stakes so while enjoyable, their not moving incredibly fast dosen’t hurt the show. And the Moon plot has the best pacing of the three and possibly of the series plots period: We get filled in on Della fairly quick, getting answers on her WAY faster, get introduced to the moon and it’s people right away, get a whole episode on them, and the most importantly in sharp contrast? She returns HOME halfway into the season.

I will probably go into this again when I get to nothing will stop della duck but Season 1′s pacing and general wisdowm made me think she wouldn’t get home anytime soon and she’d return in the finale. Instead? We get a whole half a season fleshing her out further, seeing her connect with her kids, all that good stuff, WITH an episode advancing the moon arc, without that arc feeling unimportant, but still having the slow pacing.

Season 3 meanwhile while again not without bugs, the last few episodes before the finale having no real build up to it really wasnt a good idea and I question why these two episodes were the ones leading into it, has two seemingly barely related plots.. that EFFORTLESLY merge into one, with one hell of a huge twist in impossibin that ratchets up the stakes. I don’t know how it’ll payoff.. but we’ll see.

So they did get better, i’m still hard on it because it happened.. but I will never stop stressing how this crew usually corrected a mistake. If they fucked up, they LEARNED FROM IT, course corrected, and made it better and they listened to US. IN the good way, not letting fans run the series but listening to valid concerns and adapting to them. And given how fucking rare that is and how hard it must’ve been with the tight schedule, I.. I really appricate it and i’m going to miss it. And I can’t think of a segue so enjoy this picture of a turtle hitting a trapper in the face with a bat instead.

“Someone Always Gets Hurt”

So let’s take it back a few hours. Hit it boys!

Donald tries getting the boys back on the ship, clearly fearing something coming for him.. and we soon meet that something. Yes it’s the hero of legend, the stork out of myth, the star of a LOT of Donald Duck Slash FanFiction only half of which he wrote, STORKULES!

In case I didn’t make it clear when I reviewed New Gods on the Block! I love this guy. He reminds me a LOT of the marvel version: Boisterious , horny (if in a far more pg version), Gay (Pansexual for the marvel version), flawed but still immensley likeable. Stork is a bit diffrent, a bit more naive, a bit peppier and entirely blind to the fact his father is a terrible person. But my love of the marvel herc means Stork was an easy sell for me and Chris Dimatopolis’ performance is second to none, only topped in this series by his later work as Darkwing where he got a bit more range than “Joyous ham who wants to bang”. Also I’m 100% convenced he’s made this memetic expression to donald at some point...

If someone hasn’t redrawn that with Storkules yet, we have failed as an internet. And if someone has please show me.

His crush on Donald is also endearing even if I don’t ship the two. And if your curious as to why it’s simple: Storkules is attracted to a version of Donald that no longer exists. Storkules craves a Donald whose a brave daring hero who loves adventure. And while still a brave hero when the situation calls for it as this episode will bare out.. he just.. dosen’t have the passion for adventure he did as a kid. While a LOT of that is loosing his sister for a decade, even once he makes peace with that and later gets her back... he just wants a normal life. His greatest wish was for one. He apparenlty “wishes for this every day”. He dosen’t hate adventuering anymore and by season 3 has come to terms with the fact he’ll never get everyone else to stop.. but I also think it’s always been obvious he clearly wants to one day. To have a normal life, settle down, find a girl, and if she wants to get married. Get old , fat and happy. I honestly think that’s the direction the finale’s heading in judging from the previews. I don’t think he’ll ever stop entirely, his family life’s too insane for that.. but he just dosen’t want to keep going forever and Stork, being an immortal hero does. They want diffrent things entirely and that just won’t work. Though that’s also JUST me and if you ship them or have a way around that, feel free. This is just my opinon.

Anyways Donald’s not happy, the kids are confused and Scrooge. has problesm bigger than simply not knowing how to say i’m not into you.... aka Zeus, king of the gods and of all assholes. He was originally supposed to be a swan due to a certian myth.. but they realized since that myth is both really fucked up and really not for children to not do that because why the fuck would you. Point is Zeus in myth is an asshole, a rapist, a cheating husband, and a vengeful, petty dick and that’s with barely any knowledge of Greek Myth on my part. He’s played by Micheal Chiklis whose famous for The Comissh and the Shield.. but whose famous to me for playing the ever loving Blue Eyed thing in the Tim Story Fantastic Four movies.. and honeslty, at least till marvel takes a crack at it soon, is the best screen version of the character. Look the film is flawed and I don’t remember a lot of it.. but his stuff in it just NAILS the character perfectly, at least the first one, and while the look is.. eh, he was the perfect casting. He just wasn’t in the right movie. So he’s naturally awesome here as history’s greatest douchebag.

As for why Zeus is pissed at him unlike say Donald (The whole Spear of Selene fiasco) or Magica (Who while even worse than Zeus still lost her brother because of his callousness), or others he’s wronged.. Scrooge did absolutely nothing wrong here. During a beach party Storkules intiates, he reveals he used to be king of the beach and loved and worshipped by the people of ithaquack, which last time the adult ducks visited was a lovely hideaway for heroes. Scrooge naturally did a bunch of heroic and cool stuff, and upstaged him, and then bested him in various games and what not. Zeus claims they ran off because of this and because they didn’t want to party with a god bested by a mortal.. but scrooge reveals pottery showing it’s because Zeus threw a temper tantrum aka “a year long lightning storm”. So yeah for once all Scrooge did was just upstage someone who was already objectively horrible and who brought all of htis on himself. Scrooge even points it out perfectly “They didn’t leave because they liked me, they left because they didn’t like YOU. “

Pissing off the god who already didn’t like you for stupid reason goes about how you’d expect and when Storkules tries to cool things down by suggesting a game, Zeus turns it into a contest. His son against Scrooge’s nephews. Because he uh dosen’t want to lower himself. Yeah that’s it, totally not that Scrooge would kick his ass and then fucking kick his ass. Yeah that’s the ticket.

So our boys don Toga’s, and gear up for the first challenge: grabbing the bag of winds. In case you thought Spongebob just made that up. Zeus of course opens it so Donald can’t just leave, but Huey simply thinks his way out and wins , Zeus demands best 2/3 and we soon get a montage of various events from chariot racing to sculpture where we get our title picture, lest you thought I was kidding abotu Storkules obession with donald. I mean there’s subtextually having a character have a crush on another and then ther’es making a naked muscular statue of him. I.. I don’t even have a joke here. He made a naked muscular statue of Donald. The only way they could be less obvious without just coming outright and saying it was if hte statue was of hima nd storkules making out. And i’m 100% sure Frank, Matt and Dana, yes Dana Terrace was involved in this one i’m as unsurpised as you are, only didn’t do that because Disney said no.

Zeus declares one final round because he’s tired of this..e ven though he CLEARLY won the last one while Donald once again tries to just leave and Storkules finally calls him on it wondering why he’s given up adventuring and wondering what della would say if she could see him like this, having just given up and not caring anymore about any of ths stuff. “Well she can’t! Someone always gets hurt....”

And that one very sharp and painful line both outlines Donald’s arc here, and for the season, and makes it VERY clear why he retired and why I felt like he was already on his way and the spear of selene was simply the final straw. He gave up.. because he was just tired of it. Tired of being the one who got hurt.. and devistated when it wasn’t him that time. When he lost his sister for what he felt was NOTHING. Sure hte stars would be great but they’d done everything and gone everywhere..w asn’t.. wasn’t that enough/ Couldn’t they just be done? Couldn’t he just stop. The spear gave him an excuse to do what he always wanted, but it also caused him to harden up and view EVERYTHING about his old days of adventuring as bad when like most things i’ts not that simple., There were good times, sunshine, giant sized gay men obessing over you.. okay maybe the last part isn’t a plus in his book, but point is there was good and his arc is seeing that and realizing he can’t just cling to his pain. He has to let go so he can move on heathliy.

As for said final challenge Zeus tasks the boys and Storkules with stealing the golden fleece from a little girl. While this is part of a whole scheme... he undereistmaed his son’s valour and Storkules is naturally sent spinning over having to steal from a child and is sent into a crisis. Louie however has no such qualms, as he is a children.. and he’s also louie.. but as he tries to the child starts singing. As Scrooge puts it “nothing good happens when creepy children start singing. “ Very true, it’s usually a sign freddy kruger’s about to show up or your about to be taken by a miltiary orginzation obssed with The Doctor.

The boys plug their ears.. and Zeus’ plan becomes horrifically clear. Turns out he had no real interest in an actual contest this time, and has the child take control of Storkules to murder them. And gives the doucheist shrug imaginable when his OWN SON IS BEGGING HIM NOT TO MAKE HIM MURDER SOME CHILDREN.

Scrooge naturally gets involved. Meanwhile Donald is trying to escape the lightning cage Zeus is using to make sure no one leaves... when he hears the boys cries of terror. He may hate this kind of thing.. but there’s one thing and only one thing that can make him snap back into who he used to be like it was yesterday. And that’s harming his boys. So Donald snaps into action and it’s a glory to see as Scrooge snaps back with him “Just like old times”. The two once again get a little closer to reconclisation by wrestling a golden pansexual to prevent him from brainwashdely murdering two children. God I love this show and this job.

Huey however is more of the aim for the head sort and Louie simply uses his natural talent to talk the siren into working with him, with him as her agent. As he puts it Zeus just wants to use her.. he wants to use her too.. but to make them BOTH rich. She agrees, Louie wins, and Donald finally accepts storkules is his friend. Scrooge TRIES to use this to mend fences with Zeus.. but Zeus being a petulant dick wants another game and Scrooge simply throws a game of billiards or something like it to get this over with.

So we get our wrapup. Dewey and Webby return, and Storkules and Donald say their goodbyes. Donald finally admits he’s his friend.. and in that one act finally admits he can’t just bury his past because parts of it are painful. And as Storkules puts it he may be done with adventure.. btu adventure’s not done with him. He’s got more of his old self in who he is now than he thought. Dewey also accidently wins and our family finds launchpad took the plane apart. There.. there’s no real ending. I can only assume Selene said knock this shit off when she found out or beakly later came in guns blazing. I don’t know.

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It has it’s fault: there’s no plot progression, and the ending is just stupid and is the only one of the series that feels like nothing was resolved. That being said.. the rest of the episode makes up for it. It’s filled with great gags as usual.. but the real meat is the character work. Dewey’s worries about his mom, and Donald’s attempt to literally leave his past behind, it’s really amazing stuff that elevates the episode past it’s flaws and into one fo the series best. Wheras revisting Other Bin reminded me it had a bad subplot that drug it down.. revisiting this one showed me just HOW near perfect it is with only a few things holding it back. Even with the dispaoitnment factor.. this one’s still excellent, with Ben, Kate and Tony all at the top of their games. Great stuff.

Next Time on this Arc: Dewey has to face the future when the truth comes out. And Scrooge.. bitches with his dad for half the episode. Sure beats his dad sadly btu sweetly passing on to be with his wife huh?!

Next time on this blog: Amphibia time! Speaking of facing the consequences of lying to your family, Hop Pop’s FINALLY forced to face hiding the Box from Anne, and we also get an ivy episode. Super fuckin shooters.

If you liked this review, consdier joining my patreon, link’s in the blog and next stretchgoal is a darkwing duck episode a month. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure.

#ducktales #the spear of selene #delene #della duck #dewey duck #donald duck #storkules #zeus #scrooge mcduck #huey duck #louie duck #webby vanderquack #ithaquack #reviews #della arc

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revchainsaw · 3 years

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The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

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