#she feels like she could and would be willing to reach out to jermaine or (in most situations) taldian

[blujayonthewing]

..... not me realizing almost none of my characters have anyone they feel like they can talk to and confide in about their own problems.....

[eyez-ff-blog]

○○ eyez | fifty-six

The current stop for the tour had the crew in St. Louis, but Jermaine had set up the dates to where this particular day, he had no show and had the day off—there was no way he was letting work get in the way of his first anniversary.

The tour had been going on for a couple of weeks, and so far everything had been going well for the ‘victory lap.’ The entertainment world seemed to be in a frenzy since Jermaine announced his ‘possible retirement’ at his first show in Minneapolis, and aside from that he said nothing else about it. He declined interviews concerning it, and he had no plans of explaining himself. He knew what he was doing, and for once it absolutely felt right. He knew what he wanted more than anything, and it was time for him to focus upon that.

Ever since he won his Grammy awards, Jermaine had been thinking long and hard about where he’d go with his career. The question was always whether he would continue down the path that he had built for himself, or if he would close this chapter and start another. He had done so much within the years he had contributed to the industry and the rap culture, and he just felt as if he had done all he could have done. Through his music, he had given every part he was willing to give, from his triumphs and his good memories, to his demons and the ways he wanted to vanquish them. He had known ever since he started the conception for Sinner Reborn that it was going to be this way—he had reached a point where everything came full circle, and the old Jermaine could be put to rest. Now that he had freed himself of all chains that the hunger for success and monetary importance had attached to him, he was ready to let go of this life and move onto other things. He wanted to make more documentaries and talk with people more. He wanted to watch his son and daughter grow and find out their purpose. He wanted to spend the rest of his days nurturing his wife’s happiness. His initial purpose had been fulfilled, and now he wanted to move onto being a man of service instead of the man being serviced.

At the moment though, all he could think about was how he wanted to spend the day with his wife.

It had been a year to the day since he exchanged vows and promised his life to Beija, and every day since then had been a complete ride of emotions. When things were good between them, it was nothing short of magic. She complimented him in a way that made him feel complete, and that said a lot about a man who always wanted to feel independent and self-assured. But when things were rocky, it always seemed so tense and more dreary than usual, and J often never knew how to fix it the way he wanted to. Beija and what came with her taught him patience and forced him to look inside himself and learn the value of being open and honest with himself and everyone else around him. On top of all of that, he had managed to give her not one, but two of his children. Every time he got to be around Janiya he felt this sense of pride because he knew she was not only a part of him, but a part of one of the greatest women he ever had the pleasure to know. And now he’d have a son who would be given the same luxury. Where Jermaine would falter, Beija would help him out when it came to raising their son to be a man any person would be proud to know.

“Good morning,” He glanced over in the bed before he saw Beija glancing up at him. Even in her half-awoken state, she looked so adorable. “You were up long?” She asked.

“Nah,” He mumbled as he felt her lips against his bearded jaw. “You hungry? I can get us some room service,” He said as he glanced across the hotel room, seeing Janiya knocked out in the other bed.

“Yeah. I want some pancakes,” J laughed a bit at Beija’s request. “And eggs...hashbrowns...and some bacon too. And I think I want some cranberry juice,” She said.

“Alright. I’ll let you be spoiled today,” He chuckled softly as he reached over to pick up the phone and directed the number to the room service downstairs. He noticed Janiya wake up and slowly sit up in the bed, and he shook his head as she rubbed her hand over her head. “Hey, baby. You hungry?”

“Yes,” She said softly, and he nodded as he waited for the line to pick up.

After getting breakfast, Jermaine gave Janiya a bath and got her dressed to be taken care of for the day—Gina had day duty, while Cody volunteered to take night duty. He knew that he would owe them big time for what they were doing for him, but he wanted the day to be dedicated to just spending time with Beija and not worrying too much about their respective responsibilities. If there was ever one day out of the year that he felt they had that right, it would have to be this one.

After the trio became a duo, J got himself together before letting Beija shower and dress. Because of her pregnancy it took her a bit longer to get ready, but since he really had no concrete plans for them until the evening, J waited patiently for her. It was nice to watch her get ready regardless; it was always an interesting sight to see the woman put herself together because even after all the years he’d known her she was still the woman who had to dress to impress. When he saw the way people looked at her when she walked into a room, however, he knew that the time was worth it.

Once Beija got dressed, the two headed out of the hotel and they spent the day doing what many would consider ‘mundane’ things, from spending time at the day spa to eating ice cream at the local creamery. The pace of their day was sedated and relaxed, and that’s exactly how he wanted it to be. Every so often they were stopped for photos or an autograph but for the most part they were able to have a ‘normal’ day. The more Jermaine thought about it, the better the concept sounded to him overall.

As the day grew to a close, it was time for Jermaine to implement his ‘surprise’ for Beija. He was actually excited about the idea he had came up with—he thought it was a really simple idea, but the thought that would be behind it would carry it through and make it a memory he hoped she would cherish. “Okay, now—I need you to put this on,” Jermaine passed Beija a ‘sleep mask’ when they returned to the car he rented out. The two had just went through an art store and he had to do everything to pry the woman away from the interesting paintings that she wanted to look at.

“Oh, so this is the big finish,” Beija playfully jabbed before she grabbed the mask and put it over her eyes, shielding her sight from the rest of the world. “I don’t like your surprises. I usually end up in tears, and I promised myself I wouldn’t cry today,” She said as Jermaine pulled away from the parking space he was in.

“You can still keep that promise if you choose to,” He chuckled lowly as he kept his eyes on the road, making sure to keep notice of the other cars around him.

The ride towards their destination was a bit longer than usual because Jermaine wasn’t familiar with his surroundings—they got there eventually, but not without some run-ins with the evening traffic. As he glanced out the window and got a view of the museum in the distance, he nodded to himself before he watched the signs to make sure he got to the correct place.

“You’re extra quiet,” He glanced over at Beija, who was completely relaxed in her seat. Her head laid gently against the seat’s headrest, her eyes still shielded by the sleep mask. “Nervous?”

“A little bit,” He admitted, and he couldn’t help but to raise his eyebrows at the quiet giggle that came from his wife. “What’s so funny?”

“You! After all this time, you still get nervous as if I don’t appreciate everything you do,” Beija said as Jermaine continued to watch the road, smirking to himself. “It’s actually amusing, because I don’t know how you of all people let me make you nervous,” She added.

“You know exactly why. But I’mma let you act like you don’t,” He said as he turned into the proper parking garage.

Once he found a place to park the car, he got out and walked around to the passenger’s side of the car. After helping Beija out the car, he led her towards the elevator that led them down to the crosswalk that led towards the museum. Once they got inside, he nodded silently at the employees who were on duty. “Are we there yet?” Beija mumbled, and Jermaine chuckled softly as they moved towards the planetarium area.

“Almost,” He continued to lead her through the hallway, stopping her once they got towards the domed room. The room was empty aside from the picnic set-up in the middle of the room, and once the doors closed behind them, the projection of stars began to light up the space. “Okay,” He slowly slid off her mask, and he glanced down to gauge her reaction.

He watched the surprised expression that read across her features, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the urgency in her attempt to hug him. “This is so nice!” She laughed a bit before he led her over towards the picnic he had set up.

“It’s cheesy I know but...you know we can’t see stars in this big ass city. So I got the next best thing,” He eased her down into one of the seats that was provided. “Then I contacted this dope deli place and they put together the food. I know it ain’t lavish but you know...I wanted to do something that you’d remember,” He sat down next to her as he spoke.

“Well I like it either way. Thank you,” Beija leaned over and kissed the side of his head. “Now, is that chicken salad? Make me a plate—I’m starving.”

The two ate most of the food provided as they reminisced as they often did of the past, from their tour adventures to previous date nights and other random moments. It just always felt like old times when Jermaine just got to talk to Beija and see what was going on in her head; it felt like he would get to learn something new about her every time, and it only made him think back to one of the hardest days of his life.

“B...you remember when I took you back to my first home?” He asked, and Beija glanced over at him before she pressed her lips together.

“I remember that. That was a day,” She chuckled to herself before she looked up at the ceiling, seemingly glancing over the stars that glittered across the concrete. “I think that day, I knew you’d be my best friend for life,” She chuckled.

“Oh word?” He slightly turned his chair towards her to keep an eye on her as she continued to stare at the ceiling.

“Yep. I literally told you I had depression and I had tried to kill myself once before—you could have stopped fucking with me then. You could have said it was too much, you could have decided that I was beyond your tolerance. And yet you held me in you arms and told me that you’d be there for me. You told me that I was beautiful. I’ve been told that I’m beautiful before but...I felt nothing but pure nerves when you said it. It sounded so important coming from you,” She said. “Somewhere deep down, I knew I loved you then. Even if we never fell in love, I knew that day that I had love for you that would never go away.”

Jermaine stared at the woman as she got comfortable in her seat, and he bit into his bottom lip as he thought over that day, and he could remember that moment vividly. It was so hot that day, but within the house it was a little cooler. He could remember the sunlight peeking through the window of his old room, and the way it lit up her face even as he wiped away her tears. It was such a weird day after that, because deep down he knew at that moment he had fallen in love with her, and he had only fallen deeper ever since.

“You are beautiful, you know that huh?” He reached over and tucked a tuft of curls behind her ear, and he watched as she glanced over at him. He felt the heat in his face at the look of blissful peace upon her face, and he gave a grin before he chuckled to himself. “Heh. Janiya looks just like you...” He laughed when she sucked her teeth, and he raised his eyebrows as he glanced up, watching the stars fade out. “Look up.”

Suddenly, the stars were replaced with a video—it was some weeks after he met Beija, on the first day of the Forest Hills Drive Tour.

“We on the road, we on the road! What’s good new girl?” Jermaine chuckled lowly at the image of his younger self. He remembered sitting on that old tour bus. “And we got a new face in the space, what’s up new girl?” The camera pointed in Beija’s direction, and the younger depicted woman furrowed her eyebrows before plastering on a smile.

“Hey.”

“You know who I am?”

“Of course, Cole.”

“Tell the world who you are, though.”

“You already know—Beija Demarco, future A&R Extraordinaire.”

As the video cut to black, a piano instrumental began to play as taped footage of some of the couple’s most private moments began to play. Since Jermaine had edited the video himself, he allowed himself to tear away from the endearing images to see Beija’s reactions. He watched her blink away the tears that threatened to fall, and he reached over and wiped at the corner of her eye before he glanced back up at the ceiling.

“How long have you two been married?” Beija must have had control of the camera at this particular part—an older couple was walking around the streets of Paris, and she and J encountered them while they were out and about on B’s birthday.

“Sixty years today,” The man beamed proudly before he took the hand of his wife. “We just got some food to eat. We find a new place to go to every year on our anniversary,” He explained.

“How long have y’all been doing that?” Beija turned the camera a bit to get Jermaine in the shot.

“This is our tenth year,” The woman replied. “We’ve been all over Europe so far, and this was our last one before we completed the country. Asia is next!”

The movie transitioned into shots of Jermaine and Beija throughout the European leg of the last tour they were on together—if it wasn’t the two of them eating, it was Beija marveling at the sights and surroundings. The next scene transitioned into complete silence—Jermaine was sitting on the tour bus, and Beija was taping him.

“You’re all smiles, Lamarr. Why is that?”

“Finally back in the ‘Ville. No reason not to smile when you’re home.”

“Aww!” Jermaine couldn’t help but to smile at the sound of her laugh. The clips of Jermaine back in Fayetteville and Beija back in Houston was probably one of J’s favorite parts of the movie; he liked how comfortable they felt in their home turfs, and just being able to see it on screen made him happy. As the movie went on, there were clips from more events as their friendship transitioned into romantic intimacy, from late night trips through the city of New York, to when they decided to move down to North Carolina. The last scene before the next pause in the movie was Jermaine at a jewelry store, basically putting together the engagement ring he would present to Beija at their baby shower for Janiya.

“So...tomorrow is our baby shower,” Jermaine was sitting on the couch at their old home, rubbing his chin before he leaned back against the seat. “You’re sleeping right now. Tomorrow you’ll be in the midst of all the excitement—you’ve got a lot to be excited about. You’re gonna be a mom, and that’s amazing. But I’m nervous as fuck. Yo...I can’t believe I’m doing this again. I feel like a fool for being this nervous, but there’s a million reasons why you’d say no.” He paused a bit before he glanced away from the camera, sighing softly before he let out a small laugh. “I Just hope you find the one reason to say yes. I guess we’ll see tomorrow. I ain’t sure if there’s a God, but if there is—hopefully he can convince you that I’m the one.”

The piano instrumental seemed to change from the original orchestration it was upon to a reprise of ‘She’s Mine.’ As the music played, silent clips of Jermaine holding Janiya for the first time were shown in accompaniment. J heard Beija’s gasp, and he glanced over from the ceiling to see tears streaming down her face. He glanced back up at the ceiling as he relived the first moments he had with his daughter. He remembered her being so tiny and unable to breathe on her own. He couldn’t help but feel a heavy weight upon his chest, feeling a sense of accomplishment to know that Janiya was now an active and healthy two-year-old. She had fought to be here and it was one of the most satisfying things for him to witness.

As the music continued, strings began to compliment the piano as clips from he and B’s wedding and their honeymoon began to play. He remembered backpacking with Beija through Cape Town, taking in the sights like two tourists and enjoying their lives as newlyweds. Clips of them with Beija’s family down in Houston and with his mother and brother were included, and more recent clips from Beija’s charitable efforts came after. The last of the memory reel was a clip of Janiya playing with Leo at Christmas time.

The screen faded to black, before the simple message of ‘1/∞’ shown across the screen. Along with it, was Jermaine’s recorded voice. “Catch me. Don’t you catch me. Don’t you catch me. I’ve fallen in love for the last time.”

J took a deep breath once the stars returned inside of the room, and he glanced over to see that Beija was still crying. “B...” He reached over and wiped her face, and she sighed loudly as she shook her head slowly.

“I...I can’t believe this,” Her voice trembled as she looked over at him, and he noticed the look in her eyes. There was no mistaking the love that filled the expression. J couldn’t deny the flutter in the pit of his stomach even if he tried. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” She mumbled, and he nodded as he took her hand in his own.

“Thank you,” He replied simply.

[eyez-ff-blog]

○○ eyez | sixteen

January 28, 2016

It was weird how fast things could change in a year.

When Jermaine turned 30 years old he had gone through the day as any person would on their birthday—he spent it with people he cared for and was pretty much living a life he was willing to get used to. Now, he was 31 and he was about to embark on the end of a chapter in his life. Never would be had imagined that his birthday would now also be synonymous with the official and legal end of his marriage to Melissa.

The last couple of weeks had been hard on everyone involved with the situation—since he and Beija were ousted into the spotlight, everyone had something to say about the situation. Even though Beija had gotten the brunt of the social media attacks and think pieces on ‘Black women attacking family dynamics,’ Jermaine was not spared in being called a manipulator, a user, and an ungrateful asshole for ‘leaving Melissa when she had always been by his side.’ He had heard it all, and even after he revealed to the world the entirety of the situation, it only alleviated the pain by a small margin. It seemed that every day there was a new article, a new blog post, a new way to try to pry deeper into what seemed like a perfect life. It was irritating, but the idea that nobody truly understood or wanted to understand the truth kept Jermaine as sane as one could be during a time of such immense disorder.

His worries were less focused upon himself and more upon Beija. It seemed that with every day she was struggling to stay afloat with the situation, and he was well aware it was because of her depression. He could only imagine how hard this was upon her, and he did what he could to make sure she was okay. Even with that said, he couldn’t always be there with her and when he wasn’t, he worried for her. But it seemed that she threw herself into working, and it helped her cope a bit for the moment being. But he knew as soon as he was done with all of this mess, he wanted to disappear with her in some form or fashion. They both needed the time away.

But before he could get all of that done, he had to attend to what was before him. This would be his final meeting with Melissa and her lawyer, and now that they had reached an agreement on what they would do about the divorce agreement, it was time to finally sign the papers and nullify the union.

He had found himself an apartment in Brooklyn—it wasn’t too far from the places he liked to go, and he knew he probably would make the place his own. But at the moment it seemed cold and empty, and he didn’t like it one bit. He woke up feeling disgruntled most mornings, and because of all the noise outside, he didn’t sleep as much as he used to. But for some reason, he had slept the night before like a baby. Maybe because he knew that today would be a long one...maybe his body was trying to properly prepare him.

He got through showering and getting dressed into something decent, and he walked over to his phone to see a couple text messages. He rubbed the side of his face before he sat down on the bed, rummaging through the various birthday texts, answering back most of them before he heard the knock on the door.

“Coming,” He got up and walked over to the door before checking the peephole to make sure that it wasn’t anyone he didn’t know. When he realized it was his lawyer, he unlocked and opened the door. “Hey Lindsay,” He greeted.

Lindsay was probably the most qualified lawyer that Jermaine ever knew—she was close friends with the label’s legal advisor and when she caught word of Jermaine’s situation she offered to help. It was convenient for J so he went along with it, and he was actually glad he did. Despite how formal she was, she worked hard and was trying to keep J in the best situation possible when this was all said and done. “Good morning, Jermaine. Are you ready to leave?” She ran a hand over her swooped bang that tucked back into the bun she had her hair tied into.

“Yeah, just let me get my wallet,” He held up a finger before he walked back towards his bedroom, grabbing his wallet and keys before he came back towards the door. The two exited the apartment before he locked the door, and they made the trip down to the lobby of his apartment building.

The two headed down to the car that Lindsay had waiting for them, and they got into the backseat of it before the driver pulled from the curb and headed down the street. “Okay, so if everything goes according to plan, you’ll be getting out of this with a year’s worth of alimony payments—that’s pretty lenient all things considering. She could have asked for a lot more,” Lindsay explained.

“Hm,” Jermaine seemed to be preoccupied in his mind, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, whatever. That’s good, but whatever,” He said softly.

“Something wrong? Most men would be happy about that,” She said.

“I guess I still feel guilt. I know that no money can give her back her time or effort. That’s always gonna fuck with me,” He said.

“Well, that just means that you do have some love for her somewhere inside you—that’s a human emotion,” She rationalized. “Not many feel guilt after things like this, so that says a lot. She may know that too,” She added.

“I just want this to end. For all of our sakes,” He mumbled as he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He unlocked his phone to see one new text from ‘B’: “Hi. I know you’re probably at court but call me when you get out. Don’t be a grump today, Birthday Boy.”

He chuckled dryly before he shook his head, sending off a quick text back: “Doing my best. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Once the car pulled up to the courthouse, J and Lindsay exited the vehicle and headed inside, ignoring the nearby sounds of camera shutters. He would never get used to that—he never too much liked the paparazzi, but now they were there for nothing but drama. He couldn’t wait for this to end, if only for that reason.

Once they got to the are they needed to be, the two were ushered inside a small office where a judge sat at a table with Melissa and her lawyer. J glanced at her, and she looked away soon after. He sat down at the table and Lindsay sat down next to him before the judge looked through their case file.

“Is this the final agreement?” The judge asked, and both lawyers nodded. “Fine. Mr. Cole, so we’re clear on what the agreement is—you’ll be paying Ms. Heholt a combination of alimony and spousal support from now until this day next year. In exchange, Ms. Heholt—you’re not to speak of this situation publically. Any breach will cease all payment if it can be proven in court,” The judge explained. “If that is agreed and understood, both of you sign. Your lawyers will sign as witnesses, and I will sign to make it official,” He said before passing the packet of papers to Jermaine first. He slowly skimmed through the packet before he got to the final page, seeing where he needed to sign and initial. He grabbed a nearby pen and he signed off on the contract before handing it over to Melissa. He watched as she read through it as well, and she wiped her face quickly before she signed as well. Their lawyers signed next, before the Judge went through and sighed and sealed it. “You’re all free to go,” He said, and the four got up to leave.

J sighed before he walked out into the main hallway, looking back when he saw Melissa coming out of the office as well. The two stared at each other for a moment, not saying anything initially. What was there to even say after this situation? Years of them together were now at an official close and though Jermaine couldn’t pry into her thoughts, he was sure that she felt something close to cheated. “Mel,” He began.

“Don’t say anything Jermaine,” She didn’t allow him to even begin an explanation. “I just want to thank you. You gave me the best years of my life...even if I didn’t give you yours,” She said, and he frowned slightly as he sighed. “And you taught me a valuable lesson that I wished I knew long ago.”

“I’m sorry...I don’t think I can say it enough. I wish that it didn’t end like this,” He said, and she shook her head slowly.

“We all wish for things that don’t come true. It’s not about what you want at this point, or even what I want; it’s about reality, and the reality is that this is over. This might be the best decision we ever made. You can be with that girl, and I can see what life is like without you. Maybe we’ll find everything we had been looking for in someone else, and maybe we’ll be miserable from this day forward, but the probability of being unhappy would have been definite if we stayed together,” She seemed accepting of their fate, and maybe it was time that J did the same. He couldn’t continue to beat himself up about it.

“I wish you the best, Melissa. I do. I may have never said it but I do have love for you...I appreciate everything you did for me, and I know a man will come along and you’ll be able to get the love you been wanting,” He said.

“I wish you the same; matter of fact, I wish it even more for you. Because I’d hate it if you did all of this for you to end up unhappy anyway,” Melissa’s words held some type of edge and it cut J deeper than he had expected. “Goodbye, Jermaine,” She walked away from him, leaving him alone in the hallway.

He looked at the ceiling and he let out a breath before he approached the exit, and walked outside into the crisp cold air. The sun was now visible and casted an almost golden light upon the buildings, and he glanced up at the blue sky before he walked to the car that was waiting for him. He got in, and shut the door once he was situated. The car eventually pulled away and headed down the street.

“Okay so should I do black and white or a colored outfit? Why did this have to be a theme? Ugh,” Beija sat amongst piles of clothes she had found at nearby thrift stores, and Jermaine watched from her computer chair as he aimlessly swiveled from left to right. “Help,” She said softly, and he glanced up to see her with a pout fixed on her face.

“I told you that you should try the Tommy Hilfiger fit with some denim. Like one of them old ass fits Beyoncé’s mama would dress Destiny Child in,” He said, and she sucked her teeth before laughing.

“I mean, that’s an option. But I want something cute. You know I gotta show out,” She laughed softly before she began to piece together an outfit. “Did you figure out what you’re gonna wear tonight?” She asked, and he nodded as he stood up, moving to sit on the bed with her.

“Yup. Been knew when I came up with the theme,” He said with a small laugh before he glanced over at her.

“Oh, you’re just all prepared,” She rolled her eyes before she raised her eyebrows, gasping. “Oh, I got you something,” She hopped out of bed before she moved out of the bed and went to her dresser, moving back to the bed with the couple of boxes that she retrieved from one of the drawers. She sat them in his lap and he moved to open them. The first gift was a cologne set and the second gift was a DVD box set of the first couple of seasons of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

“Oh, shit. You know this my show,” Jermaine laughed before he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Thank you,” He said.

“I didn’t know what else to get you, honestly,” She shook her head. “I’ll never be able to beat the present you gave me last year,” She chuckled before she finally picked out some clothes from the pile she had created. “How about this?”

Jermaine looked up and glanced the choice of outfit she put together—it was an oversized denim jacket to lay over what looked like a black romper. “Hm...that might be dope. Gotta have some cool shit to go with it,” He commented.

“Right, I got a choker and my new pallet just came in so I can work in a cute look for my face. I got these fly ass combat boots, too, and I know how I’mma do my hair too,” She explained as she laid out her outfit, starting to clean up all the other clothes she had taken out. “Go home and get ready! I’ll be a while and you might as well go get yourself together,” She said.

“You know what, you right. Let me go before you have me here for the rest of the damn night,” He stood up before he walked over to her, leaning down to kiss her quickly. “I’ll be back in an hour,” He said before he grabbed the gifts B gave him and headed out of her apartment.

Once he got home, he headed straight for the shower and washed off before getting out and drying off. He slid on some lotion before he put on his boxers and a tank top. He slid on a t-shirt and then put on a pair of overalls, only fastening one side. He slid on the colorful bomber over his outfit before he slipped on his socks and some sneakers that best matched the jacket. He decided to put on the cologne that Beija gave him, and he headed out and back to Beija’s place.

Once he entered her building, he headed up to her floor and to her apartment before knocking, waiting for her to come and open the door. He saw that she was within the process of doing her make-up—cooking, or whatever she called it. “You almost done?” He asked as he walked inside, closing the door behind him before locking the door.

“Almost. I still gotta blend and shit,” The two walked to her room, and she sat down at her vanity to finish up her face.

“I was thinking that if I gave you time, you’d be done,” He sat down in the computer chair, chuckling when she waved him off.

“I took a bath instead of a shower—had to exfoliate,” She explained, and he nodded as if he knew what she was talking about. “You like my buns? I thought it’d be true to theme,” J took a closer look at B’s hair, chuckling a bit at the zig-zag parts she had made, along with the two buns that were tucked and fixed on her head.

“It’s cute, baby. I gotta see it with the outfit,” He said, watching as she finished off her make-up with a dark colored lipstick. She sprayed something on her face, and he tilted his head. “What’s the spray for?”

“Setting spray. Keeps my make-up on,” She said, and he nodded as she slipped off her robe, revealing the bra and underwear she had underneath.

J’s mouth slightly dropped as he watched the way she moved about in the room. The white material almost seemed to glow against her skin, and though he knew she had a beautiful body, it seemed to amaze him even more in this state. Whatever she did for her skin was showing in the way it seemed to look so soft to the touch—he wanted so bad to be a little extra late to the party, but he decided to control himself. He tilted his head as he watched her step into her romper, seeing just how fitting it was against her skin. Once she got her arms through the straps, she walked over to him and turned around before pointing at the zipper that needed to be fastened. He reached over and pulled up the zipper, watching how tightly the romper held her in. “Gotdamn, babe. You gone burst out of that,” He playfully complained before he slid his hand down her back, grazing his hand against her ass lightly.

“Hush. Not my fault,” She walked over and sat down to put on her socks and boots. She then put on her jacket, and put on some accessories—her hoop earrings, gold jewelry and black choker necklace made her seem as if she stepped out of the era. She added a couple sprays of perfume before she grabbed her clutch purse. “Let’s go.”

“Finally,” He mumbled before he stood up, heading out of the apartment with her.

Instead of driving to the party, the two took an Uber cab and headed up to the club venue that had been reserved for the party. Jermaine was impressed with what Beija and Ib came up with for the party—not only did they composed an invite list of all of his friends and closest industry colleagues, but they even put together a list of fans and invited them as well. Beija got together with some friends of hers and got together a proper design team to make the decorations, and even though J was a bit overwhelmed at the whole idea, it was insisted that B wouldn’t allow his birthday to pass without a celebration.

When the two entered the party, J took in the sensory of the entire event—the DJ was playing all the great urban 90’s hits, mixing into one of his favorite Notorious B.I.G. cut once he entered. People were dressed in colorful clothes, and even the walls were covered in canvas boards with graffiti drawn on them. He waved at some people as he was led up to the VIP section, where everyone else were waiting for them to arrive. He took a look around the section, seeing that tons of bottles were already on ice and ready to be consumed, along with platters of finger foods. The centerpiece was a large cake, along with some more food.

“It’s the old man!” He glanced over to see Cody and Dame, who decided to dress as Kriss Kross. “Happy Birthday,” Cody walked over before sharing a dap with J.

“Thank you, thank you. You and Dame looking dumb as fuck as usual—I love it,” He laughed a bit as he shared a hug with Dame as well.

“Look at you hating. You think you somebody just because you old,” J looked back to see Bas, dressed comfortably in an outfit that looked similar to Jermaine’s. The two men laughed before they shared a hug. “How you feelin’? Do you feel any older?” Bas asked.

“Shit...actually, I kinda do,” He raised his eyebrows as Ib came forward, dressed as the King from Coming to America. “How—Ibrahim,” He began to laugh loudly.

The men all joined in the laughter as Ib slowly turned around, showing off his outfit. “This nigga would act the hell up and put this shit on. What Barbie dolls you destroyed to make this fur?” Dame gently touched the ‘lion’ draped across Ib’s chest.

“A man don’t tell his secrets—just go do your homework. Maybe one day you will achieve like me,” He playfully boasted.

“You ain’t shit,” J laughed before he grabbed the nearby bottle of Hennessy, unscrewing the bottle. “But this shit looks dope. Thank you for helping B out with the party,” He nodded.

“No problem. She damn near begged for me to help, and I’m learning that I don’t know how to say no to her. She’s the sister I never asked for,” Ib chuckled softly. “But it’s nice she wanted to do shit for you, all things considering.”

“Oh yeah...you good, J? I know today probably was weird at first,” Cody observed, and J gave a small shrug.

“Mel seemed...at peace with everything. So I know that eventually I’ll have to do the same. I’m just glad that the tabloids are slowly dying down. That was starting to fucking annoy me,” He admitted.

“Boy! That shit was wild—I really didn’t think anyone would care that much. But I guess that’s what comes with the territory,” Dame replied, and the men collectively agreed.

“I’m just trying to figure out how B pretty much bagged you. That’s amusing to me,” Cody chuckled.

“Nigga,” Bas sucked his teeth. “You’re oblivious. How you not know that J liked her?” He asked.

“Wait, you knew?” Both Cody and J asked.

“J...everyone could tell. Like—everyone. Except Cody, evidently,” Dame chuckled.

“Was it that obvious? Like...damn,” J chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He glanced back to see Beija talking to some other women, and he bit into his lip slowly as he watched her.

“Yeah, you see how you—...” Ib snapped twice in J’s face to make him pay attention. “You see how you staring and shit? Yeah, man. Obvious as hell,” He chuckled.

Soon enough the music changed up, and J took a long swig from his bottle. “I’m gonna go ahead and uh...yeah,” He chuckled as he walked away, hearing the playful jeering and teasing from his boys. He waved them off before he made his way to where Beija was. He wrapped an arm around her waist, listening to her laugh as he pulled her back against his chest.

“Hi,” Beija peeked up at him with a smile, and he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. “Enjoying yourself?” She asked.

“Yeah, definitely. Thank you for all this. I would have been just fine with whatever, but all this is amazing,” He heard the DJ shout him out, and he glanced down at the first floor of the club, holding up his bottle in appreciation as the crowd applauded for him.

“I’m glad you like it,” He looked back at Beija as she took the bottle from his grip and took a sip of the liquor herself. “But what you want? You came over here for a reason,” She assumed.

“Had to come bother you,” He leaned down into her neck before kissing her neck slowly. His hand slowly moved to her hip before he squeezed it tightly, keeping his mouth against her skin as he spoke. “You look too fucking good, babygirl...” He mumbled.

“You are going to get yourself into trouble, Lamarr,” He heard her say as they slowly swayed to the music that was pumping through the speakers.

“With who?” He pulled back before he raised his eyebrows.

“With me,” She chuckled as he took her hand and slowly spun her around so that she could be facing him. “You’re not gonna be kissing on me and think I won’t get you back,” She pointed at him.

“Get me back how? I’d like to see you try,” He chuckled lowly as he took another swig of the liquor, casually placing one of his hands against the curve of her behind.

“I have my ways! Don’t even worry about it. You just need to behave,” She giggled as he slowly massaged her ass in his hand. “Stop,” She whined as she shook her head.

“I thought you said you were gonna get me, though,” He pressed his forehead against hers before a smirk spread across his lips. “So get me,” He taunted. J watched her press her lips together, and he smiled, knowing that he had made her flustered, even in the dim lighting of the club. “That’s what I thought,” He mumbled.

“You’re literally the worst,” B mumbled, and he laughed softly before he slowly kissed her cheek. “But I’ll let it slide, since this your day and all,” She huffed.

“You were gonna let it slide regardless,” He joked, looking out at the crowd as they continued to party. He was actually feeling pretty good about his birthday despite how it all started. It was kind of ironic that on the day he was born, he had closed a chapter in his life and was about to start a new one. He was still surrounded by people who loved him, and he was now in the process of building a life with a woman he felt the most connected to. It felt like not only did he grow older, but he left an old version of him behind—he felt reborn and ready to take on whatever he could, truthfully and completely comfortable with himself.