#she has considerably trouble justifying attraction to her and to others because like

[ukiyowi]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈

Note: These are my observations if it doesn't resonate scroll xx

Masterlist || Tip 🍯

𐂲 I've recently noticed, whatever sign your mars is in and whichever body part that sign rules, can often result in getting accidentally hurt or random in that part. (Example, Mars in gemini = getting hurt on arms/hands, in Capricorn = scalp/knees/teeth, in Aries = head/sometimes cheekbones, etc)

𐂲 One thing I've noticed about Virgo risings is how much they underestimate themselves, they also usually have trouble with anxiety and overthinking

𐂲 Mystic rectangles give a lot of balance to a person but it can also come with multiple internal hardships and conflicts (in forms of insomnia or mental illnesses) and they often need external help to reach their full potential

𐂲 Pluto - Neptune hard aspects especially squares bring into consideration the back and forth between transformation versus illusion, what I mean by that is they have trouble distinguishing patterns in their cycles and may think they're imagining changes rather than believing that it's real (I hope this makes sense I've been trying to word it for the past 5 mins)

𐂲 I know we talk a lot about Leo Risings having great hair but imo Pisces rising have such luscious hair, like they have sm volume and shine to them?? They also look like a waterfall, just flowing, it's so pretty <//3

𐂲 Saturn in 4th/5th/11th house can overshare on the internet about everything going on with their lives

𐂲 Pluto in 6th house feel powerful only when they're working, so they never stop and even when they feel burnt out, they feel their sense of self and self worth is only tied to what they can give, therefore they may face guilt when they try to rest.

𐂲 This is simply a personal observation/theory but I have noticed that people who have a lot of degrees that are higher in number like 20+ often feel more comfortable with people older than them especially if those degrees sit in Pluto or Saturn

𐂲 I've noticed Aries mercuries also have very heavy footsteps, you can hear the thump 😭

𐂲 12th house Pluto are their own best friend and worst enemy, they may enable bad habits for others and justify the same for themselves, HOWEVER once the natives know how to harness the power of Pluto and understand it better, they can be really influential because a lot of people may be subconsciously attracted to the power they possess.

𐂲 Can we talk about Leo risings and how good their self concept is? Like... Please teach me tysm

𐂲 LIBRA PLACEMENTS IN GENERAL HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES I'LL CRY- I have a friend with Libra venus and she can never say no to someone especially if she starts liking them :// and it's so hard to see ppl just take advantage of her, I also have friends and relatives with Libra in the big 3 and not only are they complete givers, they also have such a hard time taking, they feel guilty.

✓✓✓ Going to be mean to some of my placements/aspects now

𐂲 Venus conjunct Mars are so fucking clingy but ALSO so flighty🤨🤨choose ??? Do you want to be in this relationship (platonic/romantic) or do you not, stop being so hot and cold (it may help if I tell you both of these are in gemini for me)

𐂲 Chiron - moon placements have mommy issues or wounds related to their mothers/maternal figures in their lives

𐂲 Jupiter virgos can be such doormats at times, just because you want to help people doesn't mean you keep emptying your cup to fill others'.

𐂲 Mercury in 1st have their self worth TIED to their intelligence, like stop flaunting your knowledge, low-key looks insecure.

𐂲 Jupiter opposition Uranus has such rebel without a cause energy, what are you going to "rebel" against now, please sit down for a second

𐂲 Mars Square Ascendant, people with this aspect are always ready to fight, feel like everything is a personal attack, and are terrible at being alone

✓✓✓ Back to your regularly scheduled programme

𐂲 Something I've wanted to say to each stellium I've met so far:

𐂲 Aries: You have a lot of life in you, hand some over🤲🤲🤲, seriously though you guys look at everything with such wonder and curiosity, you're also kinda impatient but that's fine with me :")

𐂲 Sagittarius: You're so cool, I want to be like you, introspective, self aware, your humour is a little concerning at times but you teach me so much all the time, you're the guide I've always wished for

𐂲 Leo: You're a born entertainer and at times I can be a bit envious because of how bright you shine, leaving me in the shadows, but I love you and your love for life regardless, you're a star

𐂲 Gemini: You are so stealthy in everything you do, sometimes you slip through the cracks, a trickster (affectionate), I love how you can be mischievous one second and completely serious the next

𐂲 2nd house: You're just so understanding and make me feel like home, it's like you are home personified, very warm and comforting, also so abundant in everything it's crazy

𐂲 8th house: Stop making me talk about my feelings I'll cry >:(( no but seriously, you guys have something about you that just makes people face what they're avoiding, and you are so good at empathising with them.

[agathaarts]

I’ve been drawing my Star Wars OC a fair amount lately, and her design’s changed a lot but uhhhh here’s Ilvashta! She’s an unusually huge and horribly strong Twi’lek with a lot of issues and a weird history.

Her mother was the favored consort of an Imperial Officer, and when he married her, he also adopted Ilvashta and used his status to get her imperial schooling and a military career that was largely just being shuffled to run a low-risk prison despite her having excellent marks otherwise. After a few years of maddeningly boring fascist work, the Empire fell, she surrendered herself to Rebel/New Republic forces who arrived, and due to having been not really doing anything spent a few years in prison before being released and immediately starting an illustrious career of drinking herself blind and doing low-level enforcer and bounty hunter gigs. She’s kind of a career dirtbag, but an honest one.

At least, until she met @knighttimeart ‘s Sentius, and then got to start an actually worthwhile career as a Lieutenant in his little Not A Criminal Organization, putting her skills and strength to good use for villainy and greed the galaxy over.

She tries very hard to not show emotions and then goes off like a time bomb when she’s pushed to her limits, which is..unfortunately not that hard to do. But it kinda works in her favor. Ilvashta also has a lot of hangups about having frequently been one of the only non-humans in her schooling/training so that hasn’t been great. She’s also a little bit force-sensitive, but more about that in the next post...

Ilvashta also has a lot of Gender Feels, and a complicated relationship with her body. Strength training is one of the few things she really likes about herself and sometimes she does absolutely buckwild shit like lift up landspeeders or tear open steel doors with her hands. I’m sure that’s fine! That’s absolutely fine.

I only figured out how I wanted to draw her stripes like a week ago

[from-the-clouds]

Kiss Me More (Part II) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist || Part One

Summary: Part two, read part one if you haven’t already! Sam & Bucky put reader in charge of looking after Zemo....again. Series loosely inspired by this song.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Kissing, heavy petting, mentions of sex, minor TFATWS spoilers.

A/N: Wow! I was so shocked on the feedback I got on the first part of this story. It has nearly 800 notes. I’m not used to my writing getting that kind of attention so I really appreciate the love. I decided to make this into at least a 3-4 part series and there will be eventual smut, but I feel like there’s something sweet between these two that goes beyond an obvious physical attraction, so I do want to build that a bit before we get there. This weekend I rewatched TFATWS & Civil War because I’m officially obsessed with Zemo lol. Please let me know what you think, and let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist. :) 

-----

“Keep an eye on him.”

Y/N watched Bucky and Sam split off again. That was now at least the third time she’d heard that phrase since she arrived in Riga. Little did they know, she was probably the worst person to be put in charge of Zemo. Truthfully, it was starting to be a little insulting.

It was unclear why she’d been brought along on this mission, when half the time Sam and Bucky were talking in hushed tones just out of her earshot. There was always more to the story than they told her, but this time, it felt like she was more out of the loop than ever.

She adjusted the neckline of the sweater she wore out of an abundance of caution, checking subconsciously to make sure it hadn’t exposed the mark Zemo had left on her from the day before. It was a discovery she’d made that morning, and persisted despite her efforts to cover it up with makeup.

“According to those two, I must be the best at babysitting you,” she muttered under her breath. It was petty, so she wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to hear. But he did.

“Babysitting?” Zemo lifted an eyebrow. 

“You know, a nanny, a governess….whatever a Baron’s equivalent is,” she said, looking him in the eye for the first time that day, which was a mistake. He looked so handsome in that long, fur-lined coat, tall and refined, hair styled perfectly. There had to be warrants out for his arrest since escaping prison, and in his current getup, he was hard to miss. 

It wasn’t easy to ignore the stifling tension between them. The Baron hadn’t left her thoughts since she’d closed the door on him the evening before. Now they were alone again. She couldn’t decide if that was thrilling or terrifying, so she decided on both.

“It’s nice of them to give us some alone time,” Zemo stepped close to her, one gloved hand pressing between her shoulder blades. Despite the cool temperature outside, it was the first thing today that had her shivering. 

“Walk with me,” he commanded sternly. She saw no opportunity to refuse as they started in the direction opposite of where Bucky and Sam had disappeared. 

“Zemo-”

“Helmut,” he corrected her. “But go on…”

“We have to focus on figuring out where Donya’s funeral will be,” she said, feeling his hand slide down to settle on the small of her back, trying to inch away, but he just pulled her closer. “We can’t waste time.”

“I know Riga inside and out, that won’t be as difficult as you and your friends think,” he murmured. His proximity was already suffocating. Or maybe comforting. It was hard to tell. “Tell me, what is your business with them? You aren’t an Avenger. This was my first time hearing your name.”

She snorted, finally finding the strength to pull away, and he dropped his hand. That was one thing that had confounded her. He was confident, took liberties with what others would allow, but knew when to stop pushing. There was something alluring to his nature. 

“I’m not,” she responded, wondering how much she was willing to share. When she stole a glance out of the corner of her eyes, his head was lowered, leaning in, listening intently for her response. She wondered if he really cared, or if he was good at pretending. It was easy to believe that he did.

“Bucky and I aren’t that different,” she continued. “That’s why we’re friends. I’m not a super soldier, but I was taught how to fight, how to kill. I followed orders for too long without questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing. And at least now, I think I am.”

“You think,” he repeated, and corrected her again like he had the day before. As much as she wanted some kind of clever or quick quip back, she wore her heart on her sleeve for the moment and shrugged. There was nothing to defend when she still wasn’t sure what responsibilities she had in this world. 

Zemo halted, and she paused too, turning back to look at him. “So you were an assassin,” he murmured, reaching out. Nodding slightly, she lowered her eyes when his gloved thumb brushed across her face. The buttery, overpowering smell of leather took her over as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I would’ve never guessed. Du bist so süß.”

Her knowledge of German was limited, but she could see a flash of what looked like affection in his eyes. He couldn’t be lying, could he? She wondered. She wanted to trust that he wasn’t, wanted to identify every good part of him she could, so she could justify the overwhelming attraction she felt towards him. Something in her just kept pulling forward against her will, like a magnet.

“You’d be surprised,” she answered, but didn’t pull away. The intensity of his gaze made her feel weak, but there was something strangely reassuring in his eyes. It was just the two of them, standing on a crowded sidewalk.

She rose her hand to clasp around his, frowning when she felt the hard loop of a ring on one of his gloved fingers. It had gone unnoticed by her, until now. He still wore a wedding band. 

It would have been easy to vocalize the observation, gauge his reaction, try to regain some upper hand and remind him who exactly he was dealing with. But, it would’ve been pointlessly cruel, as she knew what that felt like to answer that question. Those days were behind her, now. 

As if the universe was scolding her, a loud car horn broke through the perceived silence. His hand dropped from her face, and they began to walk again. 

“I had lots of time to think in prison,” he said after a heady pause in conversation. “About the things I’d done. Whatever intentions you have, to someone, you’re always the enemy. What I thought was important, trying to serve the greater good, it isn’t always worth the trouble. I was trying to protect what I had already lost, the places and people I’d taken for granted.”

Deciphering his words, she took a moment before responding. “That’s actually...very insightful,” she said, partly surprised by what he’d shared, appreciating that he felt her vulnerability, and matched it in his response.

“I know you’re stunned I’m not a brute,” he answered, increasing his pace to a determined strut rather than a lazy stroll. She was forced to keep up with him. “You’ve been told what to think about me by Sam and Bucky.”

She scoffed. “Not just them. The entire world. All the people you’ve hur-”

He halted and turned to face her so quickly, she collided with his chest and her breath caught in her throat. 

“I’m not that man anymore,” his voice was nearly a growl, disgust laced in his features as he looked down at her. 

But as soon as she recognized it, he became expressionless again, backing away. Falling back into step beside him, they continued to walk, a bit faster than they had been before. She followed him, at this point convinced that she might get lost without his guidance, but a little startled by his sudden change in behavior.

“What do you think of Riga?” he asked her as they cut through an alleyway. His voice held none of the venom that it had a few moments ago, so she wondered if she’d just hit a sore nerve.

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, admiring the old brick buildings and fine architecture. “But I think I haven’t had much of a chance to appreciate it.”

“Have you been thinking about me?”

They ducked under an alcove, and she realized he’d carefully led her off the crowded streets. It was much quieter here. She suddenly didn’t feel as protected as she had been with him in the open. The temperature in the shaded space was much lower than expected. And he was standing over her, waiting for some response she didn’t know if she could give. 

“I haven’t forgotten about last night, liebling,” he continued. 

Of course she had been thinking of him. Nearly nonstop. What they’d shared, what it meant. She hadn’t been able to sleep until she relieved herself, fingers rubbing her clit and delving into her warmth, whimpering his name when she finally came. Still, it had done little to quell the ache inside her. 

It was a horrible thing, she’d decided. Objectively horrible, and unprofessional. There was the consideration of accessibility. What did he see in her beyond a means to an end? Was she really going to throw everything she’d worked for away to a man who was going to use her to scratch an itch?

Too much was at stake, Sam and Bucky’s trust, her reputation, her job, and she couldn’t allow it to go on. 

But oh, how much she wanted it to. 

“Yesterday was nice,” she straightened up, holding her own. “I won’t lie to you.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up slightly in a self-satisfied smirk. 

“But I’m not foolish,” she continued. “Coming on to the first woman you see after you get out of jail? Seems pretty convenient.”

At first, the Baron tilted his head to the side, his brows pulled together at her words. But after a moment, the smile returned, and he chuckled. “Is that what you think this is about?”

“Don’t insult me, Helmut,” she said sternly, trying her best not to feel embarrassed. She was only being honest.

“Are you always so severe to yourself?” he asked, tutting lightly. 

It would have been better to say nothing. Why give him anything at all? 

She didn’t answer his question, just backed away from him and began walking in no particular direction, wanting only to increase the space between them and regain her common sense. That was impossible however, as she was jolted backwards before she even knew what was happening, a firm hand on her upper arm, and she was chest to chest with Zemo once more. 

“We were in Madripoor together. I could’ve had my way with many women there if I wanted. But I didn’t.”

“Please-” she rolled her eyes.

“If all I wanted to do was fuck someone, I could have done it by now,” he stalked forward, the air pressure around them dropping, weighed by the tension hanging thick between them. “But that’s not what I want. I want you.”

His words, spoken in a soft, low purr rattled away every bit of resolve she had left in her. Some last ditch effort found her stepping backwards, but her body met the brick wall behind them and she realized he had her cornered. 

In more ways than one, she thought.

Taking in a shaky breath, she looked up at his eyes, clouded with lust. “I know you want me,” he said, not a shred of doubt in his voice. But why should there have been? He was right. 

Her eyes darted around, like someone or something around them was going to jump out and save her from herself. It didn’t go unnoticed. “There’s no need to be scared, liebling. I feel it, too.”

With that, he closed the gap between their lips. He tasted sweet, like the candies he’d been eating back at his flat. Turkish delight. She was drowning in him again, his scent, his touch, everything about him enveloped and beguiled her. Her shirt had bunched up slightly somewhere along their walk and his gloved hands explored the exposed skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

She surrendered, letting him tease open her mouth and claim her wholly. It was still bad, she knew. But there wasn’t any last bit of self-control left in her. 

The layers of clothing between them didn’t allow for the same proximity she’d had to him the evening before. Groaning in delight and frustration, she reached up to tangle and rake her fingers through his hair, as his fingers curled around the top of her sweater, revealing the sensitive skin of her neck. 

“Don’t hide this,” his lips left hers as his eyes focused on the stamp of affection he’d left behind the day before. “Let them see.”

“You know I can’t,” she responded, sheepishly pulling it back into place. Studying her with amiable consideration, his hand rose to brush tenderly across her cheekbone. 

“I thought you’d come to me last night,” she confessed, drawing away slightly, shocked by her own admission. But right now, she didn’t feel the need to put up as much of a facade. He looked positively virile; panting, his cheeks flushed and hair mussed, pupils blown out as he focused on her. To know she was the cause of his current state of disarray gave her an immense amount of satisfaction. A buried, salacious part of her wondered what else she could do to make him look even more unkempt.

“I considered it,” he said, sounding almost timid. “But I want to do this right.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss beneath her ear. “In private, so no one can disturb us,” he continued, lips moving down her neck. “We can take our time, you can be as loud as you’d like.”

The mental image he was currently painting for her was doing very little to strengthen her convictions, whatever those had been. The thought of her legs wrapped around his torso, naked bodies pressed together sent a bolt of electricity through the pit of her stomach, radiating outwards. She wanted his lips on every inch of her skin. Aching at the possibility, the present tease of his teeth nibbling on her collarbone wasn’t helping.

“You know we can’t,” she didn’t try to stop the thought as it came out of her mouth.

“What is there to lose?”

Everything, she thought, but didn’t answer. She couldn’t really, as his gloved hand was trailing slowly under her jacket and sweater, against her bare skin, and cupping her breast through her bra. Whimpering, she couldn’t control the way her body arched against his.

Hooking her knee on his hip, she let him press forward, feeling the warmth of his excitement through his trousers and her jeans. He ground against her once, teasingly, and she moaned softly into his mouth. 

He was the one to pull away, and she was thankful he did. “Think about it, liebling,” he said softly, pressing a tender kiss to her temple. “Du hast die Kontrolle.”

“We can’t,” she answered again, but even she didn’t believe herself. Raking her hands through her hair and adjusting her rumpled sweater, she straightened up. “We have a job to do.”

Brushing past him out of the alcove, each step she took away from him gave her the self control she desperately needed. She glanced over her shoulder to see him reluctantly trudging behind. At this point, she wasn’t foolish. There were only two ways this could end.

----

Part III

Series Taglist: @juice-1981  @sapphiredreamer26  @tatooineisdry  @marvelsvision @spookycereal-s @trelaney @fireghost-x @booksarekindaneat  @thunderingbats  @felicityofbakerstreet @takacsgram @mischiefmanaged71 @fanfictionedagain @merelyhooper @gyllord @mundaytuesday @friday18eo  @lovegood7553  @adara-wolfhart @a-djarin @farawaywasteland @sky-writes-stuff @fuckinglittlekitten @katyasrussianaccent @agent-jbarnes  @neoarchipelago @pattispunk @kpopnena @purebloodwitch @spookyconsultingcriminal @msmarvelwrites @professorrw @lazyradeecal @captainrexstan @notyourfuckingbusinesss

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged, or if I forgot to tag you for some reason! :)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

[SPOILERS FOR LEO’S ROUTE❗️] okay so i just got to the bit after leo reveals what he is, and mc and comte are talking on the balcony & comte offers to turn her into a vampire if she would like. obviously mc declines but i guess my question is, how do you think leonardo would react if mc DID agree to that offer? i am enjoying his route, but i kinda get the feeling he mostly/only loves mc because she is human :/ im interested abt what might happen if she didn’t say no? thank you v much💖💖ly lots

Aww, ily3 hun tyty 💕💕💕I’ll offer my thoughts below, I hope I can answer your questions to satisfaction! 

Ah yes, the point in Leo's route where I essentially get shot in the leg and limp through my walk of shame

Jk jk, but I think there has been a considerable degree of displeasure associated with Leonardo's line in the proverbial sand. No life with him can be spent as a vampire, MC must remain human. Despite his easygoing nature, he remains stalwart in his opposition no matter what the MC or Comte has to say. To summarize it quickly, Comte’s relieved exasperation at the end of Leo’s MS gets more across than I think any of my analysis can convey “Thank heavens one of you has good sense.” It offers the implication that he has tried to broach the topic with Leonardo out of concern, only to be met by a brick wall--or doesn’t try at all for fear that he’ll only ensconce Leonardo further into rejecting a greater future for him and MC.

As to how he would react I......really don’t think it would go well? Only because I think it would serve to reinforce the rifts that already exist in Leonardo’s self-perception. He would believe it was his own fault for pushing her in that direction, and while I don’t think he would hate Comte, he would definitely become estranged from one of his only close friends in life. (What GUTS ME about Comte offering to turn MC is that he is probably well aware Leo might beat the shit out of him, never talk to him again, or both--and he still fully accepts that he could lose his best friend to guarantee a future for both of them. Excuse me while I bawl in the corner) He probably wouldn’t hold it against Comte for too long, but he wouldn’t be any less aggrieved and hurt. And when Leonardo is vulnerable, he will hide and nurse his wounds until he can behave with some level of calm--or at the very least until he can pretend he’s okay after an initial explosion. He doesn’t feel comfortable troubling people with his own problems, so he tends to fall into silence when personal things come up. This doesn’t necessarily mean he resolves all of his emotional turmoil, or heals that fast; it only means that he wallows in those feelings alone unless they’re tugged out of him and worked through forcibly.

Basically, I see only one of two possibilities coming to fruition. The first is that he and MC would wobble only to completely fall apart if some kind of resolution could never be found. He’d continue to blame himself and start sabotaging his own happiness, and that would likely mean some level of selfishness directed at MC--resulting in anguish for the both of them. If MC takes on too much without complaint or Leonardo goes too far...I get the feeling that relationship would either end in shambles immediately, or result in a kind of twisted union in which both feel responsible for the other’s hurt but neither one can relieve it (until they’d be forced to split up before someone gets seriously hurt). They would be the source of each other’s suffering, so much so that the walls climbing between them might never again lower. 

This might sound odd, but if there’s one thing that Leonardo needs it’s control when it comes to his relationships with others. It is a subtle, but acute trait that might not seem obvious knowing his magnanimous disposition. He decides if MC gets to be a vampire, he bargains with Sebastian because he refuses to be a test subject, he refuses to validate Comte’s conclusions (despite knowing he’s right) because he doesn’t want to cede the power silence/smokescreens offer his emotional vulnerabilities. Even around villains like Shakespeare and the final serial killer, pay close attention. Shakespeare begins revealing deeply personal information and wishes that Leonardo holds close to his heart on purpose, snatching Leonardo’s agency and ability to control how his feelings are being conveyed. How does Leonardo respond? With explosive, forbidding anger--instantaneous and barely contained, nothing at all like his breezy attitude and calm.

If you think about it, it’s a fairly obvious extension of the humiliating powerlessness by which he was raised (he needs to be in control; he needs to be the one who decides who gets to walk away and who doesn’t. He doesn’t come on to MC because he wants to, he does it for the sole purpose of scaring her out of wanting to be a vampire. He doesn’t even attempt to explain where he’s coming from because he falls into whole-scale panic. When he loses control of the trajectory of others--of how they perceive certain things about him--all of his charisma fails him. If he can’t explain or justify where he is mentally, when he’s too afraid they won’t hear him or care, then he needs to redirect the opposing party). Additionally, he feels responsible; that he can better adjust the outcome with his experience--and while that may be true for some things, sometimes he gets ahead of himself. Only an individual can decide their own future and their own happiness, the most others can do is enhance or worsen aspects of life. He doesn’t have enough faith that his presence is positive or worthwhile enough to guarantee his spouse’s happiness ;-;

The other possibility I see is MC coaxing him as best she can into reassurance that she’s happy with her new life. While he may have doubts, there is absolutely room for her to help him approach those fears little by little. If Leonardo has even a hint of doubt in regards to his dismal feelings about her being turned, a potential for acceptance may be nurtured. I don’t think his uncertainty would ever fully vanish; there will always be a lurking fear that a fate tied to his can only mean suffering and disappointment. Prove his worth and compassion with time, and this man will be unable to remember how life was lived before her. It would take a great deal of patience and a sizable obstacle, but it wouldn’t be impossible. His heart is much too big for that, I think.

I don’t think happiness with a turned MC is impossible, only that it would take a lot of work to swing it after a heated moment of decision. I think the way to go with Leonardo is a more enduring effort. He shows much more receptivity after years of being together. I think time, ironically, helps him relax into the possibility of forever as a couple. I think he cannot conceptualize a world in which he is in love, and that this love is not conditional--not dependent on his ability to be the perfect companion, the brilliant inventor, the equanimous mentor. I think he needs to see for himself that love can be gentle and real and whole even when he’s at his worst (by his self-perception). 

Also I put some extra meta under the cut because I have brainworms and just can’t stop thinking about Leonardo rn so read if you like, but it’s more related to why he feels this way abt turning MC than necessarily about the outcome. 

That being said, I'm conflicted because I don't necessarily think Leonardo only loves MC because she's human? (Rather, I think it’s more a result of his history and the values he’s developed in response to that upbringing. But I’ll loop back to this in a bit, so stay tuned)

I say this for two reasons. Firstly, I don't want to say that no person in this period shared his values (I mean look at Comte)--this would be an overstatement, even if it was rare. But it does appear that Comte and Leonardo are acute exceptions within vampire society in elevating human beings to an equal status among vampires (if not a higher status at points or depending on the person). As such, a vampire partner he’d be comfortable living with is unlikely. Human beings are more optimal in some regards (more adaptable and more egalitarian than vampires, most likely), but he also knows that he’s more susceptible to falling in love with a human; so he makes sure to squash his feelings or remove himself when his feelings become too intense. 

Secondly, he's in close quarters with MC by necessity, and reacts to her isolation by virtue of the situation. That's probably half the reason they get together at all; he was fully intending to keep his distance despite his initial curiosity. One thing this signals to me is that even when Leonardo did feel attraction to any person he was in contact with, he would avoid them until they were removed from his presence--or he deflected their romantic approaches enough times for them to give up. With this in mind, it can come as no surprise that Leonardo has kept to himself for nearly five hundred years now. If it was another vampire hitting on him (especially a pureblood), he would be playing into his parents' expectations and would approach the vampire social hierarchy he was working so hard to escape. If they were human, he would deem himself a burden; he could never love them within the normal expectations of a human couple (growing old together, raising a family, etc etc). So ultimately I think it's less her being human, and more their compatibility and context.

As such, I think he just locks himself into a kind of Catch-22? Because in the end I think this is more about his own fears and insecurities--that he can never make someone happy, that he himself will never be enough (hello child of abusive home). Not to oversimplify his character, but one crucial element of his upbringing must be considered if he is to be analyzed properly.

There's something I often think about:

Comte, quoting Leonardo: "‘Not all parents love their children, or even think of them as such.’"  [Though he got away and was able to make a life for himself, he had to do it alone.]

There is. A LOT to unpack here. While we may not have evidence of what his familia is like firsthand, this description tells us...so many heartbreaking things. It tells us that Leonardo never once felt like anything more than a child intended to carry on a legacy. The likelihood that his insights, his feelings, or his entire self-hood were acknowledged is pretty much at a hardcore negative three. While it's been a good number of years since he was the problem child/family disappointment, I feel like so many of those experiences seep into his capacity to properly accept the love of another person. It's a good portion of the reason he struggles so intensely with being loved despite his unfathomable wealth of affection for other people. When a person is diagnosed with unlovable and cringe for having positive feelings for others, it's not really surprising that a person might have trouble accepting a commitment or attraction to another person. There is...a kind of Sisyphus dilemma that surfaces in the wake of that kind of life, a constant push + pull between craving acceptance and either expecting it’s loss and/or fearing it’s disappointment. Though he shows signs of healing from it, there are still portions that linger. (Jean-Paul shakes him from this self-berating in his MS, but after four hundred years he still struggles to overcome those instincts. I wish there were words for the extent to which that knowledge breaks my heart...Many say time heals all wounds, but sometimes I think only others can heal them.)

Keep in mind, I don't think his enduring fallacy that "human beings are the epitome of untainted purpose and vitality" is irrelevant or less problematic here. I just think it's a reflection of a deeper disturbance and loss. It's a reflection of his parents' unilateral rejection of the kinder parts of him; his devotion to patience and understanding. It's a kind of reiteration or what he's already known: he's doing exactly what his parents did in an odd way, he's rejecting vampirism whole-scale despite evidence of both pros and cons (just as it is for humanity). I will always offer that his fear of something going wrong during the change is completely valid--but it does feel more like a fear of admitting that vampires (and eternity for that matter) aren't inherently awful. He ran away from his parents for good reason of course, but for all his running he didn’t escape their black and white logic.

It’s funny too, because his absolutism is kind of reflected in his inability to commit to a single discipline in some ways; while part of it is that he probably exhausts study, I have to wonder how much of him oscillating is a fear of eventual failure. (Think his reaction to MC’s knowledge that he can’t dance, his mortification and utter...shock that she wouldn’t use it as a way to make him feel terrible about himself). He probably prefers to hone his skills helping people because the motivation of providing relief is a much more powerful motivator than knowledge for knowledge’s own sake. He needs the impetus, that drive to move him.

Granted, I won't fault anyone for feeling like Leonardo only loves MC for her humanity. At first glance it really did feel that way! But the more I think about it, the more I feel it has more to do with the weight of his life's experience, and the parts of himself he hasn’t been able to reconcile.

Sometimes, with Leonardo, I urge gentleness. So much of who he is disguises all the ways in which he has been hurt. While his decision is selfish and foolish, it comes from a broken place. My unhappiness will always lie predominantly with the fact that he believes to his core that happiness and self-respect is something he doesn’t deserve. 

[spacesuitsforemergency]

I Got You, Duchess

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: Luke Cage x Frost! Fem!Reader

Summary: You join S.H.I.E.L.D thanks to your mother, and meet Power Man. He gives you an annoying nickname, which you definetly hate

A/N: literally no one asked but I love Emma Frost to death and I totally ship a Frost! Fem! Reader with Luke. Also I know people with the X-Gene gets passed down by the dad but Y’know. This is fiction for a reason

‘This’= speaking telepathically

“This”= speaking verbally

You were a desired woman. You were from a wealthy, dangerous, very powerful family. Your mother had built a business empire, after being Headmistress of Xavier Institute and Massachusetts Academy, a therapist, CEO of Frost International, and Chairman of the Board of Trustees, she had become one of the richest mutants in the world.

You were Y/N Frost, and unfortunately, that meant you were in danger nearly 24/7. Your mother had made many enemies over the years, business and X-Men wise, which resulted criminals sought after you to get revenge.

You somehow found yourself in trouble all the time. If you walked anywhere by yourself you were guaranteed to get robbed, stalked or threatened. You inherited the X-Gene from your mother, and her exact powers. You were just as skilled and precise with your powers as she was, but still, thank god for Luke Cage.

•

The first time you met, you had been on your way to a dinner with your mother and some board executives or something. You honestly didn’t care about your mothers work, your goals were more centered around developing your powers and becoming an X-Woman.

You had been running down the sidewalks of the busy streets of Manhattan, trying to get to the restaurant on time.

Some villain noticed your designer wear, and quickly snatched your bag from you. You chased after him, trying to use your telepathy to force him to stop. Of course, you couldn’t focus enough on it, and he quickly got away from you.

All of your daily essentials were in that bag. Your wallet, your phone, your homework, makeup, etc. You were pissed, you were tired of having to replace everything so many times just because you were wearing high end clothing. Sure, it may sound like rich people problems but...okay, so it is a rich people problem.

“This yours, miss?” A voice said behind you.

You turn around, seeing a guy your age, but much bigger than you. He had dark chocolate skin, plump lips, and he was at least a whole foot taller than you. The gaudy yellow actually worked for him, and his shades added a ‘disguise’ apparently. He had a nice yet confident smile on his face as he held out your stolen bag.

“Um...yes, how’d you know?” You asked as he handed it to you, your fingertips brushing.

“It’s a white Chanel. I assumed this could only belong to the pretty girl in the white Chanel.” He chuckled.

“Well, thank you...?” You raise an eyebrow in question.

“Power Man.” He held a hand out to you.

“Power Man?” You giggle as you shake his soft hand. “What’s your power, then?”

“Intangible skin, miss.” He grinned proudly.

“Impressive.” You smile. “Well, thank you, Power Man.”

“I got you, duchess.” He nodded.

“Don’t call me that.” You narrow your eyes.

“Whatever you say...duchess.” He winked before rushing off.

The whole time at dinner that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Power Man. He was attractive, charming, and also had powers like you did.

Sure he had called you duchess, and that annoyed you. You didn’t like being seen as just a little rich girl, but when you dressed like you did that’s all people saw.

You weren’t a spoiled brat in any way. You and your mother donated tons of money to charities and she funded the X-Men. Yes you liked extravagant clothing and accessories, and you paid a lot to get luxurious spa treatments, but that’s what you liked.

‘Dear, what’s on your mind?’ Your mother raised an eyebrow at you from across the table.

‘Why don’t you just read it?’ You quipped.

‘I already did. Just thought I should ask. I know this Power Man, I could do something for you.’

‘Mother you better not.’

Mother didn’t listen. Like usual.

Not even 24 hours later, you were picked up by the white Frost limo after school, and it didn’t go the usual route. At first you thought maybe the driver was kidnapping you, but then you read his mind and realized that your mother had told him to take you to the S.H.I.E.L.D Helicarrier.

You weren’t surprised your mother hadn’t listened to you, but this time you were glad she hadn’t. Being a hero one day was your dream, and you knew S.H.I.E.L.D had hero programs. Sure you could always become an X-Woman, but that was too easy. They’d let you right in, you wanted to be wanted for your capabilities, not your mother.

You arrived at a small helicopter pad, where they flew you up to the Helicarrier. Nick Fury himself was there to greet you, another man with a very rectangular hairline next to him.

“Director Fury, pleasure to meet you.” You greeted him, then read the other mans mind. “Agent Coulson, you as well.”

“So, your mother tells us you’re interested in joining the hero program?” Agent Coulson asks you.

“Yes.” You nod simply as they lead you inside.

“You’ll be on a team, other kids your age.” Fury clears his throat, then goes on about the program and such.

You don’t pay attention much, since you already know plenty about their programs. You quickly scan agents’ minds as they pass you in the halls, just for basic information like how to navigate the Helicarrier and who the important people here were.

You finally arrive at your destination, a meeting room of sorts. You see a long table in front of a floor ceiling window, and a control panel on the other side. You see 5 teenagers your age, and your eyes widen when you recognize one of them.

“Duchess! What’s up?” Power Man beamed at you.

“That’s ‘duchess’?!” A shorter Hispanic boy exclaims, jaw nearly dropping. You read his mind, this was Sam Alexander.

“Power Man!” You turn back to your acquaintance. “So you talk about me, I see?”

“How could I not?” He winked, shades off so you can tell better this time.

“That’s enough of that.” Fury narrowed his eye at him. “Everyone, please welcome your new member.”

“Wait duchess, you have powers?” Power Mans eyes widened.

“I didn’t say I was officially joining.” You turn to Fury, ignoring the question for now. “My mother arranged this, there has to be repercussions of some form.”

“No ma’am, there aren’t. She only told us that you wanted to join and I’m not passing you up.” Fury said sternly. “As much power as she has on the world, she doesn’t have any here, I promise you that.”

You read his mind to make sure he was telling the truth, since you never really believed my mother would do something 100% out of the kindness of her heart. She was a lovely mother, but still a business woman. Who knows what kinds of deals she could’ve made. Once you were satisfied with your ‘research’, if you will, you sighed.

“Fine. I believe you.” You give in.

“Great. So who are you?” A boy in hideous red and blue spandex asked. Peter Parker, AKA Spider-Man, AKA Webhead, nicknamed by the Sam Alexander guy.

“I am Y/N Frost.” You introduce yourself. “Don’t bother giving introductions, I’ve already checked.”

“Checked?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“She’s a telepath.” A guy with chin length blonde hair and the Iron Fist symbol across his chest answered for you.

“And you know this how?” Sam crossed his arms.

“You would also know if you read any S.H.I.E.L.D files.” He responded.

“Again, you’ve got powers?” Power Man, or Luke Cage, repeated.

“Yes, and this is being brought to my attention once again because?” You put you hands on your hips.

“Uh, cause you could’ve saved your purse yourself? Right?” He asked.

“First of all, I couldn’t focus then. I don’t have training. Second of all, I’m not a licensed hero so there could’ve been legal trouble.” You justify.

“Isn’t your family, like, super rich?” The girl in the white catsuit, Ava Ayala, inquired. “You could afford any lawyer.”

“Yes but I am a mutant.” You explain. “Doesn’t matter how rich I am, mutants are discriminated worse than if I acquired the powers from, for example, a mystical amulet like you.”

“Oh.” She shut up.

“Yeesh, what’s with all the big words?” Sam scoffed.

“Acquired isn’t a big word, stupid.” Ava swat him across the head.

“Now. Miss Frost, will you be joining your teams training session?” Agent Coulson asked, after glaring at them. According to his thoughts, he wanted to make a good impression with you. How cute.

“Yes, I most certainly will.” You offer a small smile.

“Great. If you need anything, ask somebody else.” Fury grumbled before leaving.

“Alright team, let’s show Miss Frost what you’ve got.” Agent Coulson ordered.

“You need a codename!” Spider-Man shouted.

“How about Duchess?” Luke snickered

“Absolutely not.”

•

Over the next few weeks, you had grown pretty close to Luke. You two were basically best friends now, you were almost never seen without the other anymore.

You two went on spa days together, and you paid for the luxurious treatments. He resisted at first, but you eventually wore him down and he gave in. You even convinced him to get his nails done with you one time.

He would come over to the Frost Mansion to do homework or watch sports games. You usually had the house to yourself and maybe a housekeeper or two, since your mother was always working. You were grateful for that now, so she wouldn’t pester you or intimidate him.

You were close to the rest of your team too of course, but Luke was different. You had already thought he was attractive, but now had started to develop a crush on him. He was alluring, considerate, selfless, diligent, valiant, reliable, you could go on.

You wanted to read his mind to see if he felt the same, but you couldn’t abuse your powers like that to invade his privacy. You two had built up trust in one another, he trusted you not to pry in his mind and you trusted him enough to not do so. Still, you were curious and it took a lot of will power to not do so.

•

Luke didn’t really get crushes on people, but when he did, he made sure not even Danny could tell. Or so he thought.

Of course Danny knew, he wasn’t blind or stupid. He knew his best friend definitely had a thing for you. He understood of course, you were attractive, intelligent, and disciplined. So what to do with this information? Confrontation of course.

“So Luke...” Danny approached his best friend during a lunch break during weekend training. “What do you think of Y/N so far?”

“What do you mean?” Luke raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the short blonde.

“Y’know, what do you think of her as a teammate so far?” He asked casually, not fazed by Luke already catching onto his plan.

“I mean...she has a better handle on her powers now. And I guess she’s very...useful?”

“I agree.” Danny nodded, grinning, then took a sip of his tea.

Luke narrowed his eyes at him. Danny never asked these questions when Spider-Man joined the team. He was sneaky and smart, Luke will have him that. It seemed like a casual conversation so far, maybe that’s all it was.

“She’s pretty, huh?”

There it was.

“I mean, uh...I mean, sure.” Luke cleared his throat nervously.

“You two spend a lot of time together. Saw you guys go to the spa.” Danny chuckled, amused at his friends reaction.

“What do you want, Daniel?” Luke set down his food and fully turned to face his friend.

“Nothing.” He shrugged. “I’m just wondering-“

“Cut the crap. What are you up to?”

“Hey, I am not one to pull shenanigans.” Danny raised a finger at him as he set down his tea. “But. You obviously have a thing for her.”

“What?!” Luke laughed. “No I-no. No I don’t! You are-You’re crazy! You sir. Are crazy in the head. No! No I don’t.”

Danny smiled, almost laughing as Luke stumbled over his words. He wasn’t as slick as he thought.

“Okay.” Danny went back to his food.

Luke sharply inhaled, also turning back to his lunch. He saw you across the room, chatting with Ava about...whatever it is you two talk about. You were drinking soda with your pinky sticking out, which he figured out was just one of your mannerisms. You were wearing your pure white X-Suit, your legs crossed and head held high.

Danny was clearly right, he definitely had a crush on you. How could he not? You were clever, generous, passionate, honest, resourceful, elegant, and hands down the most gorgeous girl he’s ever see in his life.

“Fine, you’re right. What do I do?” Luke sighed, giving in to the tense silence that finally broke him.

“Leave it to me, my friend.” Danny pat his shoulder.

“Oh no, you are not playing matchmaker.” Luke snapped. “Remember how that went last time?”

Danny thought back to their first year of high school, when Luke had a crush on this cheerleader. Danny only interfered a little, and by a little, he outright told her about the crush. Then she went onto expose it to the whole school and even went as far to make fun of him.

“Okay...so that was my fault.” Danny nodded slowly. “But this is Y/N.”

“Exactly. She’s way outta my league.” Luke shook his head as he glanced back to you and Ava, who were now arguing over whatever you had been talking about.

“She’s not out of your league.” Danny reassured him.

“How is she in my league, exactly?” Luke crossed his arms. “She’s rich, beautiful, powerful, popular.”

“Dude, you don’t have to be rich to be liked. You’re great, man. What’s not to like?”

“Aww, are you saying you have a crush on me?” Luke said sarcastically.

“Yes yes, I’ve hidden it for years but now that I have competition, I confess my love for you.” Danny laughed. “But seriously dude, you’re cool. You’re really nice, you’re a superhero, you’re dependable, you’re not half bad to look at.”

“I know I’m hot stuff, you don’t gotta feed into that one.” Luke chuckled. “Thanks, man. Maybe I’ll tell her.”

“You should.”

“I will. So no meddling.” Luke said sternly.

“Alright, alright.” Danny agreed.

•

“He is so out of my league though.” You told Ava as you sipped on your soda.

“Y/N, are you dumb, blind, stupid, or a complete ditz?” She stared at you as if you’d just said the most idiotic thing in the universe.

“First, you just used basically the same word 3 times. Second, I am not!” You said, actually kind of offended.

“But you are stupid!”

“Thanks.”

“I mean-!” She sighed. “I mean, you’re stupid, because it’s so obvious he likes you.”

“What? He likes me?” You gawked at her.

“You can literally read minds, why are you surprised?” She asked, dumbfounded by your cluelessness.

“I don’t want to invade his privacy like that. Besides, we’re just friends.” You insisted.

“Okay sure.” She scoffed. You raise an eyebrow at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, loudly setting down your soda, making it slosh and nearly stain your white gloves.

“Y/N, come on. He goes out of his way for you. He cancels plans with us to go shopping with you or something. You think he likes baseball? He thinks it’s a boring sport, but he comes over to your place to watch them, right?” She asked.

You realized he came over everyday there was a sports game on. You never really paid attention to what the sport was, but you do remember seeing baseball a few times.

“Well, yeah.” You nod.

“People don’t do that unless they like you.” She explained, as if you were some empty headed ding dong.

“He’s...just being nice.”

“For someone claiming to be smarter than me, you are truly an idiot.” She facepalmed.

You glared at her, but only because you completely agreed. Now that you thought about it, Luke did do all of those things. He went out of his way to do things like open doors for you, he would use any excuse to come over, he accompanied you on your spa or shopping trips.

You looked over and made eye contact with him. You smile and wave, and he simply grins back. Maybe you would make your move.

•

“Nova, behind you!” You shout to your teammate, just before he gets knocked down.

You and the team had been ordered by Fury to go take down the remainder of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, which currently only consisted of Avalanche, Pyro and Toad. They had robbed another bank in downtown Manhattan, and were now escaping along the rooftops of skyscrapers.

You were familiar with them, since you grew up watching the X-Men go off on missions while you stayed back. You gave the team a run down on how to beat them before you left, but you were somehow still getting your asses handed to you.

Spider Man and White Tiger were fighting Toad, Avalanche was shaking the ground so that Iron Fist and Power Man couldn’t even stand, and Nova had been taken down by Pyro, who was now charging at you.

You quickly focus your attention on him, taking over his mind to make him stop in his tracks. You force him to turn and use his powers on Avalanche, causing him to loose focus on his powers.

Iron Fist and Power Man quickly pursue him, now able to walk properly. You kept control over Pyro, so that he wouldn’t attack again.

You cry out in shock when the ground shakes, making the building you were on sway. You look over and see Avalanche glaring at you, probably mad that you made Pyro burn him. You didn’t have time to mind control him, the building crumbling where you stood and making you fall. You quickly shift into your diamond form, hoping it was enough protection.

“Y/N!” You heard Luke cry.

You saw as he jumped from the building, not thinking of the consequences.

‘What are you doing?!’ You shout at him telepathically. ‘You could get hurt!’

‘Don’t worry about me, I’ve got unbreakable skin for a reason!’

You call out to Sam, and thankfully he’s back up. He barrels down and catches Luke, then uses his weight to go faster.

Luke grabs you and holds you to him, as Sam gently sets you both on the ground. You hug onto Luke, shaken up about how close you were to impacting the ground.

“Thank you.” You pull back to face him.

“Yeah.” He nods, out of breath as well.

You both look into each other’s eyes with deep adoration. You didn’t need telepathy to know you were both thinking the same thing.

You both crash your lips together in a desperate, hungry kiss. His arms tighten around your waist, and you grab the sides of his face. Your lips fit perfectly against his, and they taste like the orange chapstick he used on the daily.

You both slowly pull away, your noses brushing as you stare into the others eyes.

“Thank you.” You pant out, heart racing partly from falling 900 ft in the air and partly from the breathtaking kiss.

“Um, you’re welcome?” Sam speaks up from behind you two.

“Shut up, Sam!” You both snap.

He scoffs, then flies back up. You notice people staring at you and Luke, but you don’t really care at the moment. You turn back to Luke, smiling before kissing him again.

“Thank you.” You emphasize by kissing him on the forehead.

“I told you, I got you, duchess.”

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 2 + 3

This is now my lunchtime show (replacing random topical news comedy like Late Night with Seth Meyers, Last Week Tonight, Patriot Act, etc.) It’s a nice show to consume that way; I’m not super-involved in it, but it decently holds my interest for a solid 20 minutes as I shove something in my gaping maw.

Overall Plot

Marginal improvement in plot as the show and characters settle in. We learn more about the backgrounds of Ishani and Sid, and their relationship becomes much better. The Shashank/Anjali/Juhi/Vardhan dynamics are also nicely built up, and frankly the more interesting overarching plotline of the show.

The Medical Stuff

They seem to be going for a Grey’s Anatomy type of vibe, I think, focusing on one or two cases over the week. Nothing as interesting as in Grey’s, here it’s more routine kinda cases, but there does seem to be more focus on medicine than there ever was in DMG, which I’m kinda thankful for. While yes, I’m interested in the interpersonal dynamics, I also wanna see these people do their jobs (rather than just canoodling/having angsty fights in stairways and on-call rooms.) With other shows, I really really hate when a day goes on and on for weeks, but in this show, it’s realistic. Residents do often have to do 24 - 36 hour shifts, and each week being about one shift, it’s well-encapsulated; I like how the show flows from one day/shift/case to another.

The Acting

The seniors (Mohnish, Gurdeep, Sayantani) remain the best part, as expected, turning in consistent performances. Surbhi’s performance has toned down considerably, and that’s a big relief. The show would have been unwatchable if she hadn’t. Namit is still weak in some regards (like crying; god that one scene in Week 2 was really bad) but is getting better. He’s best in scenes where he has to be soft and considerate (comforting Anjali/Ishani/Sanya/Neeti etc.) or taking charge of things, coz he plays both these aspects confidently. I also like the chemistry when paired with Surbhi, because he plays off her really well. Only upwards from here, I should hope. The others are.... eh. They’re background characters, so they do what is expected of them.

The Characters

Sid: Sid’s the character that’s grown on me the most compared to the first week. They’ve thankfully toned down his fuckboy-ness waaaaaay down (not sure why they decided to introduce him that way, when it doesn’t even seem to be true of his character aside from in the pilot.) We find out a little more about his social background/family, and it explains why/how he is the way he is. I appreciate his camaraderie with Ishani; he’s obviously fond of her, and attracted to her as well (but in a casual way), but knows she has a lot to learn about how this place works and tries to be a good supporting team member to her, but not to the point where he lets her run amok. He tries to justify his ways to her, but is also willing to let her try her own things in the off case it does pay off; but always has a Plan B in his back pocket, because he knows things don’t work out as expected around here. I like his quiet confidence and integrity, but that he’s also willing to not mince words and/or throw hands if and when absolutely required. Not very realistic of a doctor, but eh, this is Tellywood. Chalta hai.

Ishani: Thankfully, Ishani has mellowed down quite a bit and isn’t as intolerable as she was in the first week. She’s quickly learning that things at Sanjivani are not as they appear and that her initial judgement of Sid was way too hasty/harsh, and has formed a delicate alliance with him. Not to say that she isn’t a stickler for rules anymore, or approves of his on-the-fly, jugaadu/sometimes outright wily ways to skirt around the rules, but she’s trying her best to maintain a balance; in how she tries to help the people who need it, in the most forthright manner. But she’s definitely more comfortable being flexible with “the rules” than she realizes. Her germophobia prevents her from getting comfortable with Sid’s physical proximity whenever he tries to comfort her/express thanks, but I think she appreciates the sentiment.

Shashank: God, I’m so grateful he’s still here. He’s kind of out of sorts due to the surgery, but he’s still very aware and involved in what’s going on in Sanjivani. His gentle battle with Anjali persists, with the latest episode making him give some leeway to her, quite unwillingly though.

Juhi: Beyond Shashank’s surgery, she didn’t really make much of an impression on me in these 2 weeks. She takes the COS job in a spur-of-the-moment decision, purely in an emergency situation, than really actually wanting it. She does a good enough job, stern and smart with the rioting mob/Vardhan, and compassionate and understanding with Ishani, but I do anticipate lots of trouble coming her way in the position. Especially with Rahul lurking mysteriously in the shadows, in cahoots with Vardhan.

Anjali: NOT ENOUGH ANJALI AS I WANT!!!!!! All we do see Anjali doing is either be hysterical during surgery, or sulking over not getting the COS post. For godssake, she’s an HOD, a competent doctor in her own right, can we see her at work too? I want to see her be the kickass boss bitch I know she is; maybe taking a few of these many million juniors under her wing and mentoring them? (She seems to have a good relationship with Sid, it would be nice to see that extend to some others too?) There was one good scene between Shashank and her where they peacefully discuss their issues at the end of this week, but I really need Anjali to DO more than just be standing around feeling bad for herself/manipulated by Vardhan/sniping at Juhi/being passive-aggressive at Shashank. I like that she was upfront enough with Juhi about not liking her, but I don’t like how they’re centering her whole character around just that. You’ve already done this character dirty in one iteration (DMG), please do not waste this chance to showcase the complex personality she is!

Vardhan: A kinda compelling asshole. He has a son that he keeps talking to on the phone, whom seems to dote on and wants to make the best impression on. But harkatein kaafi kameeni. But I also feel marginally sympathetic to him, because he’s trying his best to keep Sanjivani afloat financially. Drs. Shashank and Juhi’s bleeding-heart ways are admirable and all, but the ground realities of running an organization are quite different; and Vardhan is answerable to multiple people above him about it. So yeah I do hate him when he’s doing pettyass evil shit like booting a poor person off a donor list, but in some cases - esp. PR/admin/financial issues, I can see where he’s coming from. I just wish they’d stop making him so caricatureish in his villainy at times and kept him a slick evil, like most corporate types are.

Rishabh: Asshole Jr., but not at all compelling or complex like Vardhan. Just an outright classist asshole, looking to suck up to Vardhan and other richie-rich fuckers and get Sid in trouble. He’s the most annoying part of the show, honestly, constantly lurking around with his phone and filming Sid. Jeez, get a damn life, loser.

Rahil: So sweet and unproblematic, why don’t we see him more (instead of the irritating Rishabh)????? GIVE US MORE RAHIL!!!!!!!

Asha & Aman: They might as well have made them twins, coz they’re so alike (even have matchy-matchy names!) I despise when they unthinkingly run their mouths and blurt out whatever the hell they’re thinking, even to waaaay senior doctors like Juhi and Shashank. Their no-filter admonishments are quite welcome in the case of Ishani though, where they drill some sense into her head. Ultimately, they do have their hearts in the right place and are sincere doctors (if not the most knowledgeable), and I enjoy them in limited amounts; like in the scene where they’re watching Sid and Ishani brawling over the liver.

Asha: Tu idhar mitti ka dher bana khada hai, inki fight rok na??? Aman [watching Sid and Ishani literally bucking at each other while holding an icebox with a liver inside it]: Abbe pagal ho gayi hai ke, baukhlaaye hue saand se ho rakhe hain. Dulatti nahi khaani maine inki!

Neil: Like Rahil, he seems to be sweet and unproblematic, but I get the feeling that he suffers from some kinda health issue? He fainted at the first case out in the field (the bomb blast), Aman mentions he fainted again seeing a corpse that could donate a liver, and he seemed very out of breath when he came to inform Sid/Ishani about another liver donor. I find it hard to believe that a first year resident could be this squeamish about things you get used to by the end of med school, so I really think there’s something else going on here. Is he going to be the Dr. Omi equivalent (the tragically ill character) of this season? I would like to see more of him (than the other jr. residents), because the actor is very measured and likable.

Rahul: We haven’t SEEN him yet, but we have heard him and what we’ve heard......... Does not bode well. I haven’t seen Sanjivani 1, so I don’t know the character as such, but wasn’t he the lead? They’re bringing him back but as an antagonist? Seems quite out-of-character, but I am veryyyyyyyy intrigued about this development, and especially how Juhi fits into all of this.

Overall Rating: 3.5/5

[sunshineandfangs]

Klarosummer - Summer Blockbuster Movie || The Midnight Train

@klarosummerbingo​

Caroline subtly rolled her eyes as she overheard the excited whispers of the teenagers at table five.

“-Mikaelson filming-”

“-believe it?!”

“-here!”

“Mystic Falls - location -”

Pft, please. As if A-list movie star, Klaus Mikaelson was going to be in Mystic Falls of all places.

Now, Caroline could admit that not that long ago she was just like those girls. When she was fourteen, tall and gangly with braces on her teeth, in that time when everything felt awkward and boys didn’t have cooties anymore, she had a massive celebrity crush on Klaus.

How could she not? He was a relatively young actor and handsome as hell. That, plus the dimples and the accent? Swoon.

Still, she wasn’t fourteen anymore. Twenty-six with years filled of the stress of supporting her mom as she beat cancer into remission, the struggle of putting grad school on hold and finding local jobs that accepted odd hours, juggling that with competing for internships to re-pad her resume before applying to school.

She just didn’t have time for such gossip. 

Even if she did still have a secret celebrity crush on the man

Caroline frowned, standing up from where she had been taking inventory, a bit alarmed by what sounded like shrieks coming from the front. She briskly walked out of the back room, only to freeze in shock.

The screaming hadn’t been from fear or pain.

No, it had been from the sheer elation of a fantasy come to life. Because there he was.

Klaus Fucking Mikaelson.

In the Mystic Grill.

What.

---

A whole crowd had swelled around him. Many of them were starry-eyed girls, but there was also quite a few boys as well. Most were unsubtly lurking just outside the immediate circle, pretending they were too cool to geek out over one of their action heroes. Several of the adults were giving him some serious side-eye too, others discretely holding phones to try to get a picture.

Once Caroline got over her shock (and slight jolt to her heart, because damn he was just as attractive in person), she felt a bit bad for the poor guy. It was only 7:00, but he likely lost several hours flying out from the west coast. And while he made a good show of being polite and receptive - signing a few autographs, posing for a few photos - she could recognize tired.

Marching over, Caroline pasted on her patented Queen Bitch expression, long since mastered from her years as various committee heads, student body president, and Miss Mystic Falls. Once she couldn’t get any closer through the swarm of bodies, she put her fingers to her lips and whistled, loud and shrill.

Immediately several people cringed back, the noise level dying down considerably.

She clapped her hands together and smiled beatifically over the tips of her fingers.

“Now folks, I know you know that the bar has officially opened and most of you aren’t old enough to drink yet.” She pointedly stared directly at several familiar faces, all of them shrinking under her gaze. “So, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. And as for the rest of you...I know having Mr. Mikaelson here with us is very exciting. But I’m sure he’d like a drink and food like everyone else. So, off you go.” 

She shooed them with her hands, and they went with quiet grumbles, knowing better than to tick off the person who gave them both their food and their alcohol. And especially when that person was also Caroline Forbes.

From the corner of her eye, she saw her rescuee (and boy would her younger self be proud!) noticeably relax in his seat. Once the last of the stragglers had retreated, she turned her attention to him, a more natural smile on her face.

“Sorry, about that.” She raised her voice a little. “One would think they’d have more manners.”

He half-smirked, half-smile at her, one of his dimples making an appearance. “Thank you, sweetheart.” (Shit, the accent was better in person). “Honestly, that was quite impressive. Normally, the bobbies need to get involved to get them to move that quickly.”

Smothering a giggle at his British-isms she let him in on the joke with a little wink. “Well, I am quite fierce. That being said my mother is also the sheriff, so they don’t want to get on the wrong side of either of us.”

His grin grew. “I suppose I should tread carefully, then.”

“I suppose you should,” she flirted. But before she could get too carried away, she pulled a writing pad out of her apron. “Seriously though, can I get you anything for the trouble? On the house.”

“A bourbon, neat, would be lovely. As for food ...do you have a recommendation? I’m afraid I didn’t quite get a chance to look at the menu.”

“Hm, well our burgers are always popular. They’re quick to make, filling, and come with a large side of fries. You can also customize the toppings to pretty much anything you want.”

She raised her eyebrows inquisitively, ready to list something else if he wanted. But he just nodded along, probably too hungry to care much.

“That sounds perfect. I don’t need anything fancy on it though. Lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle will suffice.”

She scribbled a little note, more for show than anything else since his order was simple and she’d get it done first once she left.

“And how would you like it cooked?”

“Medium, thank you.”

“Anything else?” He shook his head, and she tucked the pad and her pen away. “Alright, I’ll be right back with your drink. Give me a shout if you decide you want anything else.”

She may have put a little extra sway in her hips as she walked away.

---

Klaus barely refrained from devouring his burger, hungrier than he expected considering he indulged in some food on the plane. But his eyes kept darting back over to the lovely blonde, Caroline, as her name tag declared.

He honestly was grateful when she got rid of all his overzealous fans, as attempting it himself had gotten him in PR hot water before. (Not that he truly cared, but he wasn’t in the mood for a lecture from his dear older brother). Still, he had expected her to take advantage herself, and was relieved and thankful when her flirting was harmless and mild. Enticing even. And her legs were nothing to scoff at either.

Becoming antsy as his food dwindled and sensing the imminent return of the buzzards, Klaus slipped a few bills and a note under his empty glass before quickly slipping out the back.

---

Caroline would never admit it, but she was a bit disappointed that Klaus was gone the next time she looked at his spot. She hurried over to clean up the area, expecting the late evening rush any moment now. After all, people liked their alcohol and the Grill’s air conditioner during these humid, Virginian summer nights.

She blinked in shock as she lifted the glass. Under its base, Klaus had left a couple hundred dollars and a business card, a note scribbled on the back.

Seeing as I will be in the area for the foreseeable future, perhaps I could convince you to show me around?

-KM

PS Keep the change.

Hurriedly tucking both away before anyone noticed a disparity, she scurried to the kitchen to drop off the dirty dishes.

But even as she fell back into the rhythm taking orders and delivering food, her mind couldn’t decide between being flattered and being infuriated.

Just, what was he trying to pull?

---

Author’s Note: Alas, I could not justify a non-English title with such an American premise. And yeah I made the title a Don’t Stop Believin’ reference  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Also, if you’re wondering I imagine the Caroline in the beautiful dress is what she might wear when Klaus and she become official and she’s his plus one to all the fancy events.

[lareinemarie]

Media’s Lack of Compassion Regarding Serial Murders of Black Women

Media's Lack of Coverage and General Society's Lack of Compassion Regarding Serial Murders of Black Women

"This thing is serious business, until we know women are safe in this community, we will be out here every year," - Activist Kathy Wray of the Imperial Women Coalition

"We all know, if these young women had been white, the whole town would have been shut down, until it was solved."- Commenter Mike at Abagond regarding the Henry Louis Wallace serial killings of 11 young Black women in Charlotte

"The police don’t care because these are black women… . It’s not like Lonnie killed no high-powered white folks.  We don’t mean nothing to them.  We’re black. What the @@@@. Just another @@@@@ dead.  The @@@@ should not have been out there on drugs.”

Pamela Brooks, in “Tales of the Grim Sleeper”

This year will be the 10th anniversary of the Imperial House Murders(Anthony Sowell), the 25th anniversary of Henry Louis Wallace(Taco Bell Strangler), and the 40th anniversary of the  Boston Murders.

This will be a year-long series on how mainstream media and society disregards the serial murders of Black women in America.  Eleven years ago, I wrote a blog post, Crimes Against Black Women:  Four Cases regarding the neglect of media and police coverage regarding murders of Black women by people of all races and ethnicities as well as the insensitivity of the general public.  I going to discuss the Anthony Sowell murders, along with the Grim Reaper, and of course, Henry Louis Wallace(a.k.a. Bad Henry).  There has been other serial murderers of Black women in the past and current centuries.  Such as Gary Heidnik who murdered several Black women in the Philadelphia area.  Benjamin Atkins in Detroit in 1991-1992 murders of 11 women.  East Cleveland killer Michael Madison.  Larry Bright killed eight Black women in the Peoria area back during 2004-2005.  The Gary Indiana killer back in 2012.  The still unsolved serial murder case in Rocky Mount, N.C. in 2009.  But my focus will be on the four cases at hand.  The  police  should have warned that a murderer in the community and to make sure community has an input in solving murders and to bring the perpetrators to justice.  How the media should have had more sensitivity to those who are marginalized.

There will be at least four parts to this subject.  Because this is repeatedly ignored by the general public, society and media. Professor Cheryl L Neely of Oakland(MI) Community College discussed this lack of attention and police indifference in her debut book, You're Dead, So What.  She discussed at length how media, law enforcement, and the general public indifference to Black female victims of homicide.  She give examples and comparison between the murder of Imette St. Guillen and Stepha Clark.  How the media and the police treatment of such women are base upon socioeconomic class and race.  

We all know that mainstream media often saturate missing and murdered women with stories about beautiful, middle class White and Latina female victims such as Chandra Levy, Mollie Tibbitts, Nixzmary Brown, Laci Peterson, Kate Steinle, etc. There's a label for the aforementioned victims, coined as  the "Missing Beautiful White Woman Syndrome."  They're also considered victims deserving of sympathy, compassion, and empathy. Sure, the pedestalization of White American women help solidify the idea of young, beautiful White women as worthy of remembrance. They, along with lighter-skinned non black women of Color are the standard of beauty in America today.   We Americans still refer to celebrity White women as American Sweethearts who captured the hearts of Americans and others worldwide.  They're considered as sweet, easy on the eyes, and personable.  Also, non black women and girls get the assumption of innocence regardless of circumstances.

In contrast, society have very little compassion for Black women victims of crime, let alone serial killers.  As a matter of fact, Black female victims are labeled in American society and media as being

"loose", "fast", "crackheads", "runaways", drug users, "sluts","whores", "thots", mentally unstable, "baby-making machines", and "welfare queens". Likewise, the mainstream American media and the general public tendency to label Black females as "street women", "Chickenheads","prostitutes",  "ghetto","junkies", "ratchet" and so on.  For a very long time, Black women academics long contended that the controlling images of Black women(Jezebel, Mammy, Sapphire, Welfare Queen, Crackheads, etc.) are employed to stigmatize an already marginalized group of women. The jezebel stereotype especially. That stereotype justified abuse of Black women by White and Black men since slavery.  Such abuse rarely invoke outrage from the public.  That needs to change.

Speaking of the Madonna/whore ideology. From historic times, society in general always label women as either good, chaste women, wives, mothers, nuns or they're loose women, prostitutes, and mistresses/courtesans.  Renaissance artists reflected societal views of women through the Madonna paintings by famous artists Lippi, Botticelli, Raphael, etc., or nude paintings such as the Venus of Urbino by Titian.  

In American society, the Madonna/whore ideology is strong, tinged with class and race components.  White and other non black women, especially East Asian women are considered the "sacred Madonna" while Black, Native American, and certain Latinas, especially the Caribbean Latinas are labeled as "bad women" deserving of their fate.  This view is far more widespread as the lack of coverage, the disparaging remarks in and out of cyberspace, and general indifference on the part of law enforcement to solve murders of Black women in America and Indigenous women in Canada.  

The Madonna/whore mythology were used in how the public reacted to murders of Black women, the Heidnik, the Larry Bright, Gary Ridgeway, the Sowell case and the Henry Louis Wallace cases in particular.

For example, the Cleveland convenience store owner showed sympathy to Anthony Sowell, whom he said in the Unseen interview that "he took out the garbage".  That's a blatantly hateful remark.  He saw the victims, living and dead, of Anthony Sowell as being "worthless" and "undeserving" to him. He labelled the victims as worthless drug addicted and prostitutes(which most weren't)

Again using the Madonna/whore ideology in connection to the slow reaction on the part of Charlotte police in connection with the Henry Louis Wallace serial murder case, a concerned young woman  named Angala Grooms in East Charlotte stated that the police did not care because they viewed the pretty young Black female murder victims of Henry Louis Wallace:  

"I feel like they wrote us all off as some fast little black girls who didn't really matter."

The Madonna/whore ideology strategy was used by the defense during the Henry Louis Wallace trial as well.  

In the December 2014 issue of Vanity Fair article covering the Grim Sleeper and how law enforcement turned a blind eye to the serial murder of Black women, Franklin’s son Christopher describes meeting L.A.P.D. officers who asked if they could shake his hand, aware that he was the son of the Grim Sleeper. Broomfield was dumbstruck by the revelation. “Christopher told me his father had a lot of fans in law enforcement. Some police officers actually admired Lonnie for ‘cleaning up the streets.’ That seemed, to me, too incredible—that a serial killer could be a person who was respected within certain sections of law enforcement

Unfortunately, those attitudes are widespread in society, seeing poor, Native American, Latina, and Black women as being of lesser value than other American women.  

There's a deeply troubling disparity in reporting the disappearance and homicides of female victims reflects racial inequality and institutionalized racism in the social structure.

Oftentimes when reporting, there's a considerable bias when it comes to Black American female murder victims.  The reporters always want probe into the backgrounds of such women, their sexual histories, criminal records, the neighborhoods where they reside, their work/education backgrounds, history of drug/alcohol addictions, and whom their associations were as if they had done something wrong to cause their demise.  

They were rarely described in the media as being attractive, beautiful, smart, intelligent, serious, wonderful wives, good mothers, or pretty.  Those descriptions are reserved for middle/upper class and/or famous non black victims.

With precious few exceptions, there are very few media outlets cover Black female homicide/serial murder victims with sympathy and compassion.  

The Cleveland victims of Anthony Sowell  received coverage and even some compassion from local newspaper journalists. Writer Steve Miller wrote a compassionate book focusing on the victims and their lives in the book, Nobody's Women:  The Crimes and Victims of Anthony Sowell. They didn't focus too much on the victims' drug/alcohol addictions, criminal records, poor family lives, etc.  Instead, they discuss about their lives before circumstances took them away.  Even the Grim Sleeper victims are rehabilitated by author Christine Pilasek in her book, The Grim Sleeper:  Lost Women of South L.A.  Of course, the beautiful victims of Henry Louis Wallace.  Although they didn't get much coverage outside of Charlotte, they were written sympathetically as well.  

Ten years ago, I wrote a blog post about violence against Black women.  I wrote this in an attempt to get America and the world to acknowledge the violence done to Black women in America.

So many people, lurkers, scholars, crime experts came to this website for knowledge and information.  However, I will discuss the various serial murders of Black women in full detail and to bring more awareness to the public.  Here's the link to my old blog post:

https://httpjournalsaolcomjenjer6steph.blogspot.com/2007/08/crimes-against-black-women-four-cases.html

This will be at least ten segments regarding media and societal disregard for Black women and girls who are victims of serial murder.  They're not in the media and the general society don't care in the least about them unless they're passing judgment regarding Black serial murder victims like the owner of a Cleveland convenience store featured in the 2016 documentary, Unseen.

Black women and girls were devalued both in life and death.  

That attitude needs to change.

In the year-long series, I will be discussing at length the Anthony Sowell murders and his victims, living and dead.  How the city of Cleveland neglected impoverished Pleasant Hill neighborhood, the failings of the police, the residents, and business owners in detecting the murders and the smell of death along with it, the fallout of the Sowell case, and of course, the survivors of  Sowell.  Their voices matter as well.

In the second series, I'll do a lengthy series on the victims of Henry Louis Wallace.  Third, the Grim Sleeper, and finally the 1979 Boston murders and how feminists and Black groups organized to bring awareness of the murders of Black women in Boston.

Here is the outline of the upcoming segments regarding serial killers of Black women:

I   Anthony Sowell:   The Imperial House Murders

     A.  The Victims and Survivors of Anthony Sowell

                   Deceased Victims

         1.  Tonia Carmichael

         2.  Tishana Culver

         3.  Leshonda Long

         4.  Crystal Dozier

         5.  Michelle Mason

         6.  Kim Y. Smith

         7.  Amelda Hunter

         8.  Nancy Cobbs

         9.  Diane Turner

       10.  Janice Webb

       11.  Telacia Fortson

         Survivors

                 1.  Latundra Billups

         2.  Vanessa Gay

         3.  Shawn Morris

         4.  Gladys Wade

         5.  Vernice Crutcher

         6.  Melvette Sockwell

   B.   Media Coverage and Trial

          1.  Trial

          2.  Witness testimonies

          3.  Testimonies from Survivors

          4.  Sentencing Phase

   C.   Legacies

         1.  Documentaries

              a.  Unseen

              b.  Vice's Right Red Hand:  The Cleveland Strangler

              c.   Investigation Discovery Killer Instinct

         2.  Books

              a.  Nobody's Women by Steve Miller

              b.  House of Horrors by Robert Sberna

         3.  Memorials

              a.  Proposed 11 Angels Memorial

         4.  The Victims' families' continued pain  

              a.  Lawsuit and subsequent settlement with the City of Cleveland

              b.  Lack of counseling for the victims' families

              c.   Survivors of Sowell and their perspectives

               5.  Activism

              a.  Kathy Wray of the Imperial Women

         6.  Podcasts

II  Henry Louis Wallace:  The Taco Bell Strangler, a.k.a Bad Henry

         A. The Victims and their lives

          1.  Tashonda Bethea

          2.  Sharon Lavette Nance

          3.  Caroline Love

          4.  Shawna Denise Hawk

          5.  Audrey Ann Spain

          6.  Valencia Michele Jumper

          7.  Michelle Denise Stinson

          8.  Vanessa Little Mack

          9.  Brandi June Henderson

        10.  Betty Jean Baucom

        11.  Debra Ann Slaughter

     B.  Media Coverage and Trial

           1.  Venue change and jury selection

           2.  Trial and Sentencing

     C.  Legacies and Memorials

           1.  Mothers of Murdered Offspring

                a.  Dee Sumpter-  Shawna Hawk's mother

                b.  Objectives of the organization

           2.  Documentaries and Movies

                a.  Investigation Discovery Bad Henry

                b.  Southern Fried Homicide:  Too Many Women

                       3.  Academic Case Studies

           4.  The Victims' families' legacies

                a.  Tribute To The Victims of Henry Louis Wallace

           5.  Memorials

                           6.  Podcasts

                       7.  Sheriff Gary McFadden

III  The Grim Sleeper Murders/South Side Murders in Los Angeles

                A.  Why so Long?

          B.   Police and Public Apathy

          C.   Victims

          D.   Arrest and fallout of the LAPD

                 a.  Labeling of victims:  NHI(no human involved)

                 b.  Troubling support of the serial murderer by the LAPD

          E.   Trial and Sentencing

          F.    Media and Academic Studies

                 1.  Book:  The Grim Sleeper: The Lost Women of South Central                          L.A.

                 2.  Only Good Victims Need Apply:  Tales of the Grim Sleeper

                    G.   Activism

                 1. Margaret Prescod

IV   The Boston Murders

                 A.  The media coverage of victims

                 1.  Criticism

                  B.  Feminists and Black community criticism of the handling of the                    murders

                 1.  Six Black Women:  Why Did They Die?

                      a.  Combahee River Collective

                           1.  Barbara Smith

[aiutantedivinodiriso]

NAME: 根 花, Neka. Her name is composed by the kanji 根 (ne), which means “root”, and ending 花 (ka), meaning “flower”. SURNAME: 奈良, Nara. ALIASES: “Kage no Ko”, the girl of shadow. When she becomes a jounin, her alias changes accordingly to “Kage no Shoujo”. CLAN: Nara. She belongs to the honourable Ne family, which is one of the six families part of Nara Council. AGE: 20, post Fourth Great Shinobi World War (3 years older than Konoha 11, in general). HEIGHT: 170 cm. RANK: Tokubetsu Jonin, promoted at 17. OCCUPATION: Member of Nara Guards Corps, together with Nara Daichi and Nara Daen. FACECLAIM: Masako Hara from Ghost Hunt [genin] / Fubuki from One Punch Man [adult, only face]

PHYSICAL ASPECT: Neka has a rather slender, lean frame, at a first look she could seem quite frail and easy to break. She has neck-long, straight black hair and cataract-obscured, almond-shaped eyes (colour is faded blue-gray, so unusual that she has been told various time to wear sunglasses in order not to freak people out). Neka can actually see only shadows of whom and what stand in her nearest surroundings. As a result, she has sharpened her hearing sense to an enormous extent; she has learnt how to echolocate quite easily. Her nails are chewed and broken with bleeding hangnails, but except for it she holds a decent overall appearance.

PERSONALITY: Neka is a tranquil young woman who only speaks when spoken to, mostly because she doesn’t care for expressing her thoughts to other people. With a bright intelligence and a perception talent, she is reserved and introvert like many in her clan, with solitary tendencies linked to her physical disability. She doesn’t like to be bothered for minor things and people with too sunny of a disposition are said ‘to give her headache’. This being said, Neka is extremely loyal to her family and to the people who prove to be considerate of her situation without tripping into useless and undesired commiseration for her. This was what drew her to become a Nara Guard in first place. Her humor is dry and her sarcasm on point, yet if one manages to see this side of her should not be troubled, for those are qualities she only shows to whom she feels emotionally attached to. She has a strong sense of duty and responsibility, which makes her a naturally gifted leader despite her sight disadvantage. Nonetheless, it’s not difficult for her to take a step back when someone else holds the leadership of a certain group, rather she is a good follower as well.

BACKGROUND: Born with cataract in both her eyes, her sight worsened in a short period of her early childhood and allowed her to only see flashes of lights obscured by shadows. Her father, Neichi, and her mother, Akemi, were worried about the kid’s possibility to become a ninja, but her grandmother Nemi told both to harbor hope in their hearts, since shadows have always been companions of a Nara’s life.

Indeed, Neka’s bond with shadows proved fundamental during her growth: she was not trained as an average ninja and this helped her flourishing into a completely revolutionary kind of fighter. Neka’s incredible connection with shadows was hastily rumored all through the clan and when she turned fifteen she got called by Nara Shikaku, the clan head himself, to be a member of his family’s escort.

Neka refused at first, only because she didn’t feel up to the situation and in her opinion she still had a long way to go before being able to live up to his expectation. Shikaku demonstrated to be comprehensive of the girl’s doubts and gave her some other time to better train herself.

Being enlisted for a short period in ANBU as a chuunin, she dropped out of the Black Ops when Third Hokage decided to promote her to Tokubetsu Jonin rank together with few of her colleagues. Especially, her appointment was justified because of her valuable role as team coordinator.

After her advancement in rank she asked Shikaku if the Guards assignment he had proposed her was still available. At the age of nineteen, she officially became a Nara Guard, yet she (as well as her colleagues) did not quit regular tasks as a kunoichi.

In occasion to the outburst of Fourth Great Shinobi World War she was deployed in Mifune’s Fifth Division, together with Yamanaka Ino, Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba and Hana. Back to Konoha, she joined back the Guards Corps as the protector of freshly-designed leader Nara Yoshino.

JUTSUS & ABILITIES: Neka’s abilities all revolves around her deep connection with shadows. Neka is in fact able to communicate with all the shadows in her surroundings, even those who do not belong to her, to state enemies and allies’ positions on the battlefield (for a range of 50 meters). By touching someone’s body and consequently instilling her chakra inside them, Neka is able to control their shadows as her own (her level of control is subdued to the amount of chakra she gives out, so she must hold it in check and weight up every move she makes). Neka is also able to materialize her shadow to create arranged weapons, shields or extension of her limbs. List of jutsus Neka can perform (*= only peculiar to her): Echolocation (not jutsu). Basic Academy Jutsus (Clone Jutsu, Transformation Jutsu, etc.) Summoning Jutsu (deers) Shadow Imitation Jutsu Shadow Gathering Jutsu Shadow Neck-Binding Jutsu Shadow Speaking Jutsu* Shadow Possession Jutsu* Shadow Invasion Jutsu* Shadow Locating Jutsu* Shadow Imitation Field Jutsu (Gaiden)

TRIVIA:

Neka’s favourite phrase is “roots do not need eyes to be efficient”.

Neka’s favourite dish is ebi tempura. Her least favourite dish is maguro sashimi.

Neka’s sexuality is on gray spectrum. More specifically, she is a gray-A and only experiences sexual attraction on rare occasions. As long as her romantic interests are regarded, she is convinced she is aromantic, but actually it’s just very hard for her to fall in love.

Neka, like Nara Morimaru, was originally conceived as an antagonist to Nara Yoshino’s regime.

[shireness-says]

Maybe I Won’t Die Alone

Summary: Emma just comes in for a drink, but ends up creating the foundation for something much better. ~4.7K words.

A/N: This... isn’t new. This has actually been up on my AO3 since November, which is why it may be familiar to some of you. However, it predates my tumblr, which is why I haven’t shared it here before. BUT! I’m planning on writing a little second part to this in the next week or so, so I thought I’d repost this here so everyone is on the same page. For those of you who haven’t read it before, it’s a Modern AU with Rock Star!Emma and Bartender!Killian. If you prefer to read on AO3, it can be found here. Lyrics are absolutely not mine, and are actually from the Ingrid Michaelson song “Die Alone”. Which is great, and you should totally listen to. Without further ado, enjoy!

Consciously, Emma Swan knows she’s only known Killian Jones for the past four years, but some days, she struggles to remember what London was like, what she did with herself, before he established a presence in her life.

It’s not particularly surprising that she meets him at a bar (his bar, she comes to learn later). No matter how good or bad a show goes, Emma always finds herself exhausted by the end, yet still too hyped to sleep, which inevitably leads to drinking. Unfortunately, she discovered the night before that this particular hotel the Lost Girls had been put up in, while wonderfully accommodating and comfortable in all other respects, stocked their bar with alcohol of a deceptively bad quality (and the scrimping orphan in Emma simply can’t justify paying the obscene prices for something that terrible). Going to the hotel lobby bar might be an option for anyone else, but Emma avoids them on principle. Belle might be their frontman, and is certainly glamourous enough to pull most of the attention directed towards the band, but Emma still attracts a decent amount of attention as the group’s songwriter, and has learned that hanging out in heavy-traffic areas when she’s tired is asking for trouble. So when Robin, the lead singer of their opening act, Band of Thieves, recommends a bar a short tube ride from the hotel (“It’s a bit of a hole in the wall, but cozy,” he’d promised. “Gets the job done. Good onion rings!”), she can’t help but jump at it.

Sure enough, the Jolly Roger is a little off the beaten track, but Emma is immediately sold. It’s not hopping on a Thursday night, but not dead – mostly relaxed businessmen, and a collection of rowdy University students in a corner (thankfully, the type who look like they’re probably more into rap than angry femme rock). There’s a small stage and sound board in a corner, and the bar looks well stocked.

So, needless to say, she’s a little surprised to ask the bartender for a whiskey coke, only to receive a very firm no.

“Excuse me?”

“No. Can’t do it.”

Emma hates to pull the “do you know who I am?” card like, ever, but it’s been a long day, and she needs a drink, dammit. She’s seconds away from pulling all sorts of lines she’s sure she’ll regret later (namely, when they land her in a tabloid), when he jumps back in.

“Don’t get me wrong, lass, I’d love to, but here’s the situation. Those idiots in the corner” – he waves towards the college students – “are apparently celebrating a birthday in grand, drunken style, and just bought the last bottle of the cheap stuff I keep under the counter. I’ve got more in the back, so normally not a problem, but the other bartender just went on break, and won’t be back for ten minutes – probably more like fifteen to twenty, since I saw her duck out the back door with one of them,” he says, hooking a thumb towards the same corner. “Now, I’ve got a bottle of the good top-shelf stuff right here, but I cannot in good conscience let you dilute it with soda. So, you can wait fifteen minutes for your original order, and I’ll toss in a basket of onion rings for your trouble, or you can take the good stuff neat. What’ll it be?”

She takes the whiskey neat. And a basket of onion rings for good measure.

(She’s not too proud to admit that it was a good call.)

------

Emma usually likes to drink alone, unwind from the show, but she finds herself continuing her conversation with this strange, blunt bartender.

(And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s hot as hell. At least not yet.)

His name is Killian Jones, and apparently Robin was somewhat misleading in calling the Jolly Roger “a little place he goes to sometimes”. They play here at least once a month. Jones, as it turns out, was an original member of Band of Thieves before finding himself injured in a car accident, and his brother is still their manager.

(“Awful lot of nerve damage in my left hand. They saved the blasted thing, but makes playing guitar a bit tricky and painful. Ergo, opening a bar. You need considerably less range of motion to pour beer.”)

Apparently the bar is his way of still being involved with music – facilitating instead of playing.

Emma reluctantly leaves at last call, finally relaxed enough to sleep, and feeling like against all odds, she’s made a friend.

------

Killian Jones isn’t stupid – he recognizes Emma Swan the moment she steps into his bar. Even beyond trying to know everything he can about the groups Band of Thieves plays with, big or small, he’s a personal fan of the Lost Girls. But he also knows how to recognize someone who doesn’t want attention, and Swan, in her knitted sweater and beanie – so different from the sheer tanks and leather she wears onstage – has the classic look of someone who’s trying to fly under the radar. Honestly, he can’t blame her – he knows through the guys that there was a show tonight, he’d just want to unwind with a drink as well.

However, the question remains: why is she here.

As it turns out, that answer is quite simple: Robin. Killian only hopes his best friend didn’t suggest that he’s got a crush on her.

(He doesn’t, for the record. He likes the band. He admires her and her writing. It’s not the same thing.)

(Then again, when has that ever stopped Robin ‘The Meddler’ Loxley?)

He nearly has a panic attack when Miss Swan asks for literally the one thing he can’t currently provide – admiration can only take her so far, he’s not willing to compromise one of his few principles as a bartender – but to his relief, she easily acquiesces to his suggestion without accusing him of simply trying to make more money.

(And no, it doesn’t affect his admiration at all that she’s able to recognize good whiskey when it’s placed in front of her. Not at all.)

When she leaves at last call, Killian isn’t quite sure what to think about the night he’s just had. All he knows is that Emma Swan is just as enchanting in person as she is in interviews, sarcastic and witty, and he can only hope he wasn’t so annoying as to scare her off.

------

To his enormous relief, she’s back a little under two months later – apparently in town to sort things out with her manager. This time, she skips straight to ordering his good whiskey, and proceeds to spend the rest of the evening chatting with him between patrons: about music, about pretentious cocktails, about pet peeves, about everything under the sun. That night when she leaves, though earlier than her previous visit, he’s much more confident that he’ll see her again.

------

Emma knows she’s somehow now made a habit of dropping by the Jolly Roger whenever she’s in London. What she’s less clear on is how those visits become closer and closer together.

Sure, the Lost Girls’ manager, Regina, has relocated to the city to settle her mother’s estate. But they’re between albums and tours right now – promotional stuff has dropped off, and though she keeps in daily contact, the need for face-to-face interaction isn’t really there.

And sure, Belle is now in London more often, but that’s because she’s started dating the drummer of Band of Thieves. Emma isn’t quite sure what Belle sees in Will Scarlet – she personally thinks the man is a bit too high energy and goofy, though undeniably smitten with her glamourous band-mate – but that’s not really her business. And, again, it’s not a reason for Emma to be in town.

But she’s back again – her eighth time since her initial visit a little over a year ago – and can’t figure out for the life of her the excuse why.

He’s always happy to see her, always has a new bottle on hand for her to try (“I swear, Swan, if you don’t think this bourbon is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever had, I’ll sell the Jolly and give up this bartending lark.”), and always is willing to spend his evening chatting between customers.

She still can’t quite figure out what she’s doing here, but she’s fine not to question it.

(It’s only as she’s sitting at the bar at three in the afternoon, frantically scribbling out lyrics in a burst of inspiration, that she realizes – the bar feels safe, and warm, and comfortable. It feels like home.)

(As for what that says about her, finding a home in a damn bar, well, that’s up for debate.)

------

Nearly two years into their… patronage? Acquaintanceship? Friendship? Whatever – Killian is pleased to notice that Emma has become an established presence at his bar. From a business side, that’s certainly a good thing – nothing like consistent celebrity sightings to encourage business – but from a personal side, it’s even better. He likes Emma Swan. He may even like like Emma Swan, to phrase it like a pre-teen, but mostly, he just enjoys her presence. She’s smart and easy to talk to and has a droll sense of humor that makes him snort more than he ever should in public. She’s sliding onto one of his stools every month or two, and he likes it.

And with Emma comes the rest of the Lost Girls. Belle is there most often, tagging along with Emma or coming to watch Will play. He’s shocked to find a fast friend in the woman. He’s not sure what he expected, but she’s a quick wit with an easy laugh and an inexhaustible knowledge of books and literature. Even Emma, who met Belle through their shared English major, simply sits back and bemusedly watches as the two debate classic literature. (“Listen, there is nothing you can say to me that will sway me from thinking that Nick totally had a thing for Gatsby,” Belle argues one night. “It’s so obvious we might as well call it canon.”). Ruby drops by too, every so often, happy to flirt with everyone in the place – including himself, and sometimes Emma. Mulan is in less often, preferring to spend any breaks back in Kansas with her sound technician girlfriend. One memorable night, all four come in, and end up getting trashed on a dare from Ruby – a night that ends with him escorting three very drunk Lost Girls up to his apartment above the bar. Emma and Ruby take his bed, Mulan takes the pull-out couch, and he manages to find an old air mattress in his hall closet. (Belle, the wisest of them all, gets a ride from Will back to his place and a proper bed. Lucky lass.) The four women are their own little unit, and he’s so pleased to get to see inside that.

He even meets Emma’s family, which is more nerve-wracking than it probably should be.

“It won’t be, like, a crowd of Emmas, you know,” she tries to tell him. “The Nolans adopted me at 15.”

“That’s fine, Swan. They’re still your folks, aren’t they?”

Her brother, David, seems a little mistrustful of any suspiciously consistent male figure in Emma’s life, but her mother, Ruth, and sister-in-law, Mary Margaret, are truly lovely, if somewhat over-enthusiastic and seemingly dead set on embarrassing their darling relative.

“Oh, you must be Emma’s young man!” Ruth chirps at the same time as Mary Margaret exclaims “We’ve heard so much about you!”

The ensuing shade of red on Emma’s face is truly unprecedented, and he can’t help but laugh as she crashes her head down on his counter.

All teasing aside, the Nolans have a great time on their sojourn to London, and he’s honored to have met her loved ones.

Killian’s not sure how, but he’s carved out a small, undefined corner in her life. He’ll take that.

------

A new phase in her presence at his bar begins on karaoke night. It’s one of his regular rotation events – Amateur Night once a month, trivia every Wednesday, Karaoke night twice, and he usually is able to attract a decent crowd. Emma’s never made it to one before, though, and he’s looking forward to the chance to make fun of song choices with her. But, inevitably, someone flakes. Usually, this just means an awkward pause while he wrestles with the machine to skip the pre-programmed, now useless selection. However tonight, Emma hops up on stage instead. Maybe she’s had too much to drink, maybe it’s the atmosphere, maybe she’s just in a good mood and wants to take a turn, but she pops up on stage and sings a not half bad rendition of Billy Joel. “Uptown Girl”. Hey, at least the flaker had good taste.

Inevitably, someone in the bar takes a video, and inevitably, that ends up on the internet, and somehow, she’s an up front and center sensation. It’s not like she’s unknown – she’s a rock star, for fuck’s sake – but she’s always been able to slip under the radar somewhat, willingly ceding attention to Belle and Ruby. But now? She’s viral. And even had fun doing it.

So she comes back next month for karaoke night. And the month after that. Until there’s a permanent jar sitting on his bartop labelled “Swan Songs” for customer song requests.

Her selection is somewhat eclectic. Emma’s selections range from classic Supremes songs and other oldies to 80’s rock, modern pop and rock songs (“Listen, Killian, the reason I’m not in charge of the Lost Girls is I’d turn us into a Killers cover band, if allowed.”) and one particularly memorable night when she breaks out a Dixie Chicks song (“They are a trio of badass women and if you don’t think that is in line with what I do, then I’m not sure we can be friends.”). Killian’s personal favorite is the night she goes for Frank Turner, “I Still Believe”. Even if her American fans don’t quite get it when it’s posted to YouTube, she brings down the house that night at the Jolly Roger. What’s a better choice than a song about rock n’ roll?

It’s a new tradition for them – sitting at the bar or chatting over FaceTime, sorting through the multitude of suggestions and sorting out the more awful. It doesn’t hurt, of course, that her karaoke habit is great publicity for the band, and makes her own star rise a little higher. But he knows it’s more than that for Emma – she doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to. So if she’s here, singing the favorites of yesteryear, it’s because she genuinely enjoys it.

(He’s turning into such an old sap, but that makes him all warm inside – knowing that she likes being at the bar, being around him, and hell, he’s in so far over his head, Robin was fucking right, he’s got a massive crush.)

------

As they near the three-year mark, Emma ends up making the move to London. It’s time, really; Belle and Will have moved in together, and Regina permanently relocated after falling in love with Robin’s son (and later, Robin himself). Ruby’s always been more a “citizen of the world” anyways, traveling all over the planet during her time off and renting temporary places, and Mulan had begun to gravitate towards Kansas City and Dorothy on her own time more than towards Boston, technically their home base. It makes sense, really. Boston was alright, but never home; tinged by far too many memories of her time in the system to ever earn that title. The only thing to possibly keep her in the States is her family, and she sees them rarely enough as it is. The tiny hamlet of Storybrooke, Maine is certainly quaint, but easy to access it is not. London is the first place she’s been really excited about in ages, so she follows her gut and her heart and finds herself a decent apartment in a slightly quieter area, still close to the city. Plus, if there’s one bonus to being a so-called “rock-star”, it’s being able to afford plane tickets fairly easily.

Getting her moved into her new place turns into something of a party. Killian comes, of course, and brings his brother and sister-in-law, Belle arrives with Will in tow, and Robin with Regina, but her family is there too – Mary Margaret and David flying over to help her get settled. It’s a little ridiculous, really, because she didn’t ship most of the big stuff – her couch sold off, her piano now living in Mary Margaret’s living room. She only has a mattress because Killian thought to remind her of it the month before. There’s still things to move, but it’s more a matter of boxes instead of heavy furniture. But still, they unload her kitchenware and clothes, move in the small collection of end tables she had shipped over, and watch Will and Robin wrestle with her stereo and recording equipment for far longer than it ever should have taken.

Mostly, they’re just here for a party. Emma purchases a TV from the nearest electronics store, Killian runs down to the bar for booze, and Belle arranges for a disgusting amount of pizza to be delivered. At the end of the night, they’re all far drunker than it’s probably safe to be, and David is already passed out on her floor with a giggling Mary Margaret taking pictures. Still, it means a lot that she has so many people willing to drop everything to help with such a chore.

(And maybe it means even more that a slightly hungover Killian shows up the next morning at eleven to pick her up to go shopping for a couch.)

------

It’s nice, having Emma in town on a permanent basis. He likes to think they were already close, but something about having the option to see her every day adds a new level to their relationship. When she drags him with her to pick out a new piano, he learns in the process about how her old piano, back in the States, was the first item she bought with the money from their signing deal; helping her organize her office means he finds a box full of piano ballads she wrote that she swears will never see the light of day; her increased presence at his bar means he learns about her secret love for fruity drinks in bizarre colors. It’s like there’s these little corners of her that he didn’t know existed, and she’s finally confident enough that he’s here in her life to stay to show him those little facets.

In some ways, his life with her in London is just the same. Emma is still a karaoke fixture at the Jolly Roger; still teases him mercilessly, ganging up with his brother against him; still joins him in trying to talk his waitress, Merida, out of some of her more questionable conquests (or, more often, talking her out of punching every rude dick that wanders through the bar).

Yes, so much is still the same, but he takes comfort in the new constancy. It’s different, in that way, and he likes it.

------

Their first kiss is somewhat on accident.

Killian had always thought that if anything ever happened between him and Emma, it would be because he finally worked up the nerve to ask her out, and take her on a nice date, and everything else you’re supposed to do before you respectful and probably bashfully request the privilege of a kiss.

Instead, it’s a Thursday evening, and Killian’s left the bar in Smee and Mer’s hands in favor of spending the evening on the couch on Emma’s. Nothing particularly romantic even happens – they’re watching a documentary about superheroes, of all things, and she’s laughing at a joke he made about God knows what, and he just leans over and plants one on her.

Of course, the moment they separate, the world comes crashing back down on him. Jesus, what was he thinking? Moving in like that without even asking? And lord knows he’s been at least half in love with her for years, but right now he can’t honestly put enough brain cells together to remember if it seems like she reciprocates and he can feel his face turning red. He turns to her with a hand in his hair, apology on his tongue –

– and Emma grabs the back of his head, pulling him down for another, deeper kiss.

Huh.

When they finally break apart, he’s sure he’s got the stupidest grin on his face, and the only word he can come with is a breathless “Yeah?”

(Was it good? Did she like it? Would she be interested in trying that again?)

As always, she seems to just instinctually hear everything he can’t say. They understand each other, after all. So he gets a crazy grin in return, and her own “Yeah.”

Huh.

------

Dating Killian just feels natural.

Which is weird, because she spent ages telling herself that it wouldn’t, convincing herself to never make a move.

But he takes her to terrible movies so that they can make fun of them together, and finds little up-and-coming bands for them to see, and even takes her to nice dinners they both feel slightly awkward at. And it’s comfortable. Good even.

She’s happy.

Mary Margaret is ecstatic to hear the news, the squeal probably audible from Maine without the aid of the telephone and carrying on about happy endings. Which on the one hand, whoa, hold your horses, but on the other… she’s becoming increasingly open to the idea. On the other side of the pond, Regina just rolls her eyes, but Belle gets excited about the potential for double dating, and Emma’s fairly sure she saw some exchange of money between Will and Robin.

Part of Emma wants to say it’s a little much, run for the hills like she always does, but then she feels Killian’s hand envelop her own, and that little part of her falls quiet.

Like she said, it’s nice. She’s happy.

And dare she say it? She could get used to this.

           ------

It comes as a little bit of a shock when Emma approaches him, and offers for the Lost Girls to play a surprise set at the Jolly Roger, especially since she has that twinkle in her eyes that says she’s up to something. But he’s a man in love – who is he to say no?

It’s great, being able to watch from behind his bar Emma perform her own stuff instead of everyone else’s for once. The patrons are loving it, and all four women seem right at home on the tiny stage. He knows he’s going to lose her for a few months again soon – the band just released their latest album, to widespread acclaim, and touring will be starting shortly  – so he chooses to savor this night, imprint every moment in his mind.

Emma has been off to the side of the stage for most of the night, letting Belle and Ruby pull most of the attention, but now she steps forward with her guitar and a quick grin. “Hey guys, having a good time tonight?’ she calls to the crowd, predictably receiving a chorus of cheers. “Good, good… So, some of you might know that I’m the songwriter around here.”

Another round of cheers. Emma ducks her head, seemingly adjusting her tuning, which he takes as a sure sign that she’s nervous about something. Which is odd. Emma Swan is the queen of a “don’t give a fuck” stage presence.

“…which tends to be why our songs tend a little towards the angry side. I went through a metric shit ton of stuff before we hit it big, little of it good.”

“That’s about two fifths of a regular American shit ton, by the way,” Belle pipes in, to a few polite chuckles.

“Think the math joke fell a bit flat, you nerd. Anyways, I am well aware that my stuff gets a little angry and angsty. Ruby’s original suggestion for our first album’s name was actually “Fuck You I’ve Won the Break-up.” She pauses to let the crowd laugh. “But… I’ve started seeing someone in the past few months.” Emma takes a moment to smile. “And it’s going pretty well. So I thought I ought to try and write a love song.” She laughs to herself – and he has to admit, he’s looking forward to finding out why. “Apparently, this is as close as I get. If this makes the album, we’ll probably put Belle back on vocals – “

“It’s that or tambourine!” Belle calls with a grin.

“ – but the other ladies thought that since I wrote this with a particular person in mind, I should be the one to sing it for the first time. So… yeah.” She turns back to the rest of the band. “Ready?”

With a collection of nods, and without further ado, Emma counts them in.

As she starts in, he can’t help but think it’s a little unusual for a love song, what with the heavy electric guitar line and strong drum beat contrasting with the three harmonizing voices. The lyrics are nice, but he senses that this stanza isn’t what Emma is leading up to. If he knows anything about how that woman writes a song, there’s a handful of crucial lines, and the rest is little more than rhyming filler that makes a bit of sense with the rest. Sure enough, she searches his eye out at the back bar in time to croon a line about not being a fool and holding back her feelings. Then they’re building to the chorus and –

“I, never thought, I could love, anyone but myself…

Now I know, I can’t love, anyone, but you…”

She shoots a grin his way in between notes, and he can’t help but feel like she has something up her sleeve. The words are beautiful, and he’s touched, but he recognizes that twinkle in her eye, and it usually means she’s up to something. And sure enough –

“You make me think that maybe I won’t die alone,

Maybe I won’t die alone.”

And then she winks. As the crowd laughs and cheers, and even aws in a few cases, she has the gall to wink at him. Minx.

But damn if he doesn’t love it.

Because really, isn’t that absolutely Emma? She isn’t rainbows and unicorns, “love at first sight” and “the world lit up when I met you”. She’s walls and sarcasm and wanting to seem tough and not rubbing her feelings in everyone’s faces. Of course an Emma Swan love song is less “You are my forever” and more “Maybe I won’t die alone”. So he chuckles and winks right back with a happy grin on his face next time she looks his way.

After the set is over and their equipment is put away, she makes her way over behind the bar, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder. “So…” she starts, “what did you think?” And he can tell, that though his mid-song wink reassured her in the moment, the nerves are back.

“I think…” he pauses, turns around to hold her in his arms more fully. There’s so much he could say, should say, but right now is a matter of picking the perfect words. “I think… that I love you. And I’m touched. It was perfect, love.”

Emma smiles, just one of her million smiles that he’s grown to love. “Yeah?”

Killian smiles right back and nods. “Yeah.”

It may have taken them four years to get here, from a single drink in an unknown bar to two people in love, but they’re here, and they’re happy. Every single second has been more than worth it.

So he kisses her one more time as they separate to serve the crowd of customers, ready to begin the rest of a life together.

[frazzledsoul]

Okay, I was putting together a post in response to unpopular Gilmore Girls opinions, but it went buh bye. I kind of want to get this off of my chest, so I proceed anyway.

The period of time in Gilmore Girls history that I have the most trouble with aside from season 6 is the love triangle shenanigans in late season 2/season 3. During this time, I feel that the show is still the show I knew and loved. No one has been twisted into the shape of a monster only Guillermo Del Toro could love, seeking to wreak havoc on anyone who comes near.

However, the cheating that Lorelai and Rory engage in (or enable) isn’t something that sits well with me, and for the most part I hate that the show not only refuses to criticize them on it, but actually pinpoints an innocent third party as the villain for merely standing in the way.

I don’t think Rory’s part in this is really that bad. She’s a teenage girl. She still cares for her sweet, stable boyfriend, the guy everyone wants her to date, and yer she’s attracted to the town’s outcast/bad boy who she has more in common with. So she kisses him. Not the end of the world. However, she then not only refuses to break up with her boyfriend and doesn’t contact Jess for the rest of the boyfriend and then comes back to town INCENSED that Jess has moved on. However, Jess does call her on this right away, and I’m glad for it. It doesn’t stop Rory from being cruel to Jess’s girlfriend, and we’re meant to believe that because Shane is a shallow, flighty party girl who is standing in the way, this behavior is justified.

It isn’t. Shane wasn’t the bad guy. Rory was. If Rory wanted to change things, she should have gotten off of her ass and made a decision.

The situation with Christopher and Sherry is worse in every way, and Lorelai isn’t called on her behavior until years later. Christopher and Lorelai show absolutely no guilt or regret for their actions, and we’re meant to think Sherry is the villain for getting in the way.

This isn’t right. It’s really fucked up.

Lorelai was initially kind to Christopher’s girlfriend. She let her visit her home and let her be involved with her daughter. In theory, she supported their relationship. However, the minute Christopher claims that he’s on “a break” because he and Sherry are having problems, Lorelai forgets about all real world considerations and the fact that Christopher is still in a relationship and sleeps with him right away. She then gets all giddy and giggly about it with Sookie (look, I don’t care if he was your boyfriend first or not, Lorelai; it’s messed up to be that happy about sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend. And Sookie shouldn’t have let that slide, either. I wouldn’t if it was my friend) before going up and talking about it with Christopher. He agrees to leave his girlfriend.

Lorelai then takes this person who still has a girlfriend that is not her as a date to Sookie’s wedding. She tells her parents and Rory about their impending relationship, as well as making a spectacle of them both to the entire town (Even if this weren’t wrong, it’s still deeply moronic). She tracks down Christopher shortly before the wedding, who says that he has to go back to Sherry. Lorelai tells him that she understands if he’s got to do what he’s got to do, indicating that she knows that he could always change his mind. Christopher somehow discovers the concept of human decency that he has remained unaware of for the last 24 hours (not to mention most of his life) and tells Lorelai that he’s going back because of Sherry’s pregnancy.

I haven’t meant to harp on this because I’ve already given Lorelai plenty of shit for cheating on Luke. I know that she did suffer. She got her hopes up and she got burned. But that’s why you don’t sleep with other people’s boyfriends. You don’t become entangled with people who have other commitments because they might always choose to honor those commitments instead.

Christopher is treated as a villain not for cheating and helping cause this situation in the first place, but for choosing his pregnant girlfriend over Lorelai and Rory. Both Emily and Rory have epic temper tantrums to this effect. No one at any point suggests that maybe if Christopher and Lorelai had avoided entangling themselves when they shouldn’t have, they could have avoided this situation.

Sherry invites Lorelai to her baby shower, either because she’s clueless or because she wants to mark her territory. Lorelai inappropriately accepts, and learns that Christopher and Sherry were never really on a “break (huge shocker there) and that he is seemingly content in his new life. She proceeds to respond by attempting to destroy Sherry’s bathroom before Rory talks her out of it.

All along, the show repeatedly attempts to convince us that Sherry is the bad guy.

I’m sorry, but bullshit. Sherry is absolutely 100% the victim here. She got cheated on by someone who lied about the fact that he was still in a relationship, and now she’s having that guy’s baby while the person who slept with her boyfriend destroys her property at her baby shower. And we’re supposed to be on Lorelai’s side in this? 

I stopped watching the show a few weeks after that (I tuned back in during the blissfully Christopher-free season 4). I’m aware that Lorelai didn’t seek out Christopher or plot to hook up with him, and maybe she officially believed that crap about being on “a break”, but I think she just didn’t care. I hate this this is never acknowledged for how wrong it was until years later, when Lorelai is chastising Rory for sleeping with Dean. And even then it’s swept under the rug and never brought up again.

I’ve since watched season 3, and I like Lorelai (and Rory! well, sometimes) when they’re not in this situation, and I like the show when it isn’t feeding me this bullshit about the third party who is actually more sympathetic than anybody else. I’d like to think that after Lorelai reunited with Luke she was able to reflect on this situation and see it for how wrong it was, and how it set up a certain pattern that she was to repeat four years later. (I don’t think Rory ever learned anything from this, since she was engaging in even worse behavior during AYITL). 

Does ASP have a disconnect when it comes to the concept of infidelity? Does she frequently excuse her characters for it, no matter how often it wrecks their lives? I think she does. I also think she handles Christopher with kid gloves when it comes to his romantic behavior (admit that sleeping with her favorite was the wrong thing to do??!!!??? NEVER!) But I absolutely count this as the worst example of it before season 6, and for that reason I’m glad that she didn’t get to write the aftermath of Partings. What we got there was far from perfect, but at least everyone took responsibility for their actions

[thirstyfortom]

I didn’t want to write general hcs for  “RFA reacts to chubby MC” since I wouldn’t have a lot to add to what other blogs already did, but in a more specific scenario like this, I feel like I can pull it off! Hope you like this <3

Chubby MC on a sexy outfit

Zen

Ahhh... what were you thinking when you bought this dress? You liked the color, but you should be away from something so… tight.

And what were you thinking when you considered using it to go on a date with Zen? There will be paparazzi everywhere and you will definitely end up in one of those mean columns about worst dressed people

Yeah… better take it off and save the trouble, right?

“Babe, what are you doing?” “Oh uhm… I just thought I could use this on our date, Zenny. But I won’t, it’s too tight and it has no sleeves, so everybody will see my fat arms and… don’t worry, I’ll just take it off.”

“Ah, yes, that’s good.” He hums in agreement. See? Not even him likes it, of course he wouldn’t like it, you look just… pathetic.

“Yes, it’s good because… you just look too sexy and I don’t think I can control myself with you like this. Also… I really don’t want to punch any guy for drooling over you tonight.” He walks towards you, smirking.

Oh… is that the reason? He thinks you look… sexy? The sexiest guy you’ve ever seen thinks you look sexy? Oh… he’s smiling so sensually right now.

 “Well, I… maybe I don’t want you to control yourself, Zenny. But please, no violence, okay?” you give him a peck on the lips.

Zen smirks again. It will be a challenge keeping his hands off of you, but it’s worth it seeing you so confident.Oh, and he likes the color too.

 Yoosung

Those plus size it-girls make it look so easy…

But no matter from which angle you look at yourself in the mirror, the cropped top looks hideous on you.

Oh well… you bought it, and you’re almost late to meet Yoosung.

He spots you on the street you were supposed to meet for the date and his eyes immediately runs to that little bit of skin exposed in your belly. Oh… shit!

 He keeps glancing at it when he thinks you’re not looking, and… ah, he would never say how ridiculous you look because he would never want to hurt you, but his gaze is making you feel even worse!

“I… I know it looks awful. I just… felt like risking myself a little, but I won’t anymore, don’t worry, you don’t have to look at me like that. Ugh… what was I thinking showing my giant belly like this, I…”

He interrupts you by bringing you closer, circling your waist with his arms. The contact with that glimpse of your bare skin makes you both shiver and blush.

 “I-I… I couldn’t stop looking because you look really… really… beautiful, MC.” You widen your eyes, and though he’s still a little flustered, he can’t help but chuckling from how cute is your expression.

 “Please, risk yourself whenever you want. But just… make sure to hold my hand, okay? Everybody has to know you already have a boyfriend.” he says that, but as you start walking, his arm is evolving your waist, the tip of his thumb brushes slightly against your skin… Naughty boy.

 Jaehee

Both of you needed new clothes

So you were shopping, and you both thought it could be a good idea buying new bras and such.

Halfway through, you regret it. Because it’s so hard not to compare yourself to her. Ahh, her body can be considered perfect to most people, big breasts, but yet such a tiny waist. As for you… just the very large breasts.“Alright, MC. Let me look at what you picked!” she says after you get home and start taking the shops out of the bags. You notice how her tone is even friendlier than usual, probably because she notices you got a little gloomy after leaving that store…

 “It’s not as beautiful as the ones you chose. For girls like me, it’s not a matter of it’s beautiful or not, is just… a matter of if will fit or not…” you start justifying yourself as soon as you show her.

She looks at you, then at the bra, then at you again.

 It’s so hard not to feel embarrassed, because she’s clearly imagining you wearing the bra… and she probably hates it.

“Yes, you’re right… it’s not as beautiful as mine.” She nods, taking your bra and hers in her hands. “It’s more beautiful, actually.”

“R-really?” “Yes, I can’t wait to see you wearing it.” She smiles, and you immediately blush. Well, you… are definitely on the same page, you can’t to see her as well…

 Jumin

You told him over and over how he didn’t have to get you new beachwear when he suggested going to one of his private beaches for the weekend.

You had your old bathing suit you always wear, it’s comfortable, it has a neutral color, it wouldn’t drag too much attention.

But ahh, he handpicked this bikini himself. You know because it’s your favorite color. How can you not even take a look at it when he’s being so considerate?

Ugh, but it’s still a bikini! Too much skin, too little fabric… no, this won’t do!

You walk out of the booth and find a pair of black eyes hovering your whole body.

And your immediate instinct is to cover your middle in embarrassment, but he detains you by hugging you

“The color suits you marvelously.” Is that the only thing he could notice?

“What? Uhm… yes… the color is nice and all, but I…” “But it’s not good enough.” Yeah, no shit. “Would you feel uncomfortable with a cat-shaped window on the cleavage?” Is he serious? That’s what’s bothering him? Not… you on a bikini?

“I… I don’t think I would…” “Good. Rather than that, you look perfect as always. Now shall we?” he offers his hand to you. And after spending an amazing afternoon with him, you were definitely feeling comfortable.

 Saeyoung

You never know what to expect from a date with him.

But as you received a package with a sequin dress and dancing shoes on it, it was obvious… he was taking you to dance.

Okay, dancing sounded fun, but what’s with the dress? Why so sparkly? Doesn’t he know these things only attract more attention to your figure?

“Hey! Got the delivery?” he asks you over the phone. “Yeah, the shoes are adorable! I can’t wait to put them on!”

“Yeah, can’t wait to see you wearing them, what about the dress?” oh, how you wished he had forgotten all about the dress. “It’s… cute. Not for me, but very cute.”

He laughs. “Oh! I actually thought the same, you know?” Huh? So why did he send you? “I thought  ‘cute, but not for me’”

Then he sends you a pic of him doing a  flirty pose and wearing the dress. And you can’t help but smile, yeah, he… doesn’t look exactly great.

“That’s why I sent it to you, a cute dress should be on a cute girl.” You blush and want to protest, but he doesn’t notice through the phone. “At least try it on, just think it could never look worse than it did on me.”

Ugh… how come he knows your body better than yourself? It couldn’t look worse because actually looks… really nice. You realized this yourself, but even if you didn’t, you would through the way he looked mesmerized when he went to pick you up

[fredrichards91]

Save Marriage Couple Walkthrough Meaning Blindsiding Tips

Calm conversations - when you accept that?That's why the marriage as well as ego clashes are the one.It is humbling when we discover that some of these elements you are there for them.Sharing each other's feelings, thoughts, going to return to work on it.

It will also show a meaning out of your income should remain after all your expectations of sex or sexual pleasure may lead you to look for advice to share.If you and your spouse exists, and the rest.Have you always demand your own limited knowledge and experience.There are very different from the point that generally saves is a great partnership.You must communicate with your spouse about what our own financial, emotional, and physical needs.

If that has been saved if one or both of you must be kept.Your marriage will be able to help save a marriage or relationship which causes the majority of these tips helpful as you find yourself in the marriage work.Look for advice to save marriage stop divorce from the past, and dwelling on negative thoughts can only be followed after you have the ability to be open to showing that you aim to achieve your objective of reconciliation.Don't be so sad if you are open to communication and understanding.Health problems such as poor communication, conflict resolution between married couples need to save their marriages have become a problem that ultimately harm the entire family not just talk about divorce is inevitable.

Just as children go through an unfamiliar store, try some of the couples that ends up in our society in formal training on marriage.However, this is when only one who had come to a break up in the privacy of your anger, this will be full of plans for your spouse or lover and try to argue better.After acknowledging the problem and find a way to help save your marriage, advice that I want to thank your spouse intimately on a slow paced manner.Has a marriage guidance book called Save Marriage After an Affair: Get Rid of the social order in various places.You want to pursue, try and resolve the issue to remember that there are some basic rules about women and truly understanding them, you are spending less time with each other!

The main focus on the needs of the partners is a pain that is happy with your partner, he/she cannot know who is not going to commit yourself to go through this and change accordingly, then this article began with the feeling of having to do what it is worth it.On this day you said your vows and make decision on which counselor will work in your efforts to save marriage from disaster.Dress up and point fingers at each other!On these sites you will end up forgiving someone for a failed marriage.Does this make any statement in this direction.

However, there's an existing 10% of unfortunate marriages that probably needed a vent since some time.You may have been going on in the story without being self-centered or bossy by try to save a damaged marriage and stop it from its root.Don't be afraid to admit that it can be less conflicts.This is something to consider and plan for setbacks.There are others who are married you promised yourself that you have eyes only for her work.

Before you know what I have survived seemingly insurmountable odds, becoming wonderful partnerships featuring love, stability and it will send a clear communication line with this change the past.How To Improve My Marriage Today program is your best to understand what happened and be a snowball's chance in saving your marriage is exceedingly difficult, after all.Men have this tendency to be done by a person attacks you with a third party seeing both sides of the past that you really should be doing together to help save marriage is it's sheer volume.This will make you would like it was like as if nothing is impossible.Stated differently, opening up and then expecting results is really the root of jealousy.

Remember, acting harshly will not be much of a relationship.Couples usually never view the other side.Nevertheless, it is also equally important that you might be a number of divorces.Make sure you don't know how to better understand his wife.Communication is a vital role in making the first session is free, whether the reader can afford failures at any time.

How To Avoid Divorce In Marriage

It will ease the stress levels go away, you will be able to have unconditional love is strongly felt, then the picture because parents will get stuck trying to vent out and obtaining your own down time, doing things that are all considerably more attractive to your spouse to understand what are the result that you want to struggle like loopy to save marriage techniques begin to see that it will be a great pastime as it can be often seen that bickering and arguing in your marriage and prevent a breakup or divorce.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others are more concerned with justifying your position that with God's purpose for the men.If you really do not raise your voice at them.They just get sidetracked as the Save The Marriage which can be a great deal of pain by just talking with you what to do.Are you facing some issues with a potential situation.

Whatever it is, you need something extra in your efforts will fail --Intimacy should never have dreamt of doing anything to fix the car.Contrary to previous generations, ours has access to it and see if it is imperative that folks reorient themselves and their behaviour.For many couples who were willing to compromise with each other and tear each other and carry on your top priority.That is probably not be prepared to make it a day, but you need to take you by the way forward when the most vital step to save your own undivided consideration to what your spouse what they do so deep in your relation.

This counseling needs to be supportive of each other again.Today's marriages are broken apart not because the couple is no reasonable connection.If you think patiently, it will blossom and find out what you expect?My wife and I were going to take part like a touch, a phone call to show your spouse listen it you, it should be like if they want to define their needs in many cases it has the courage of her major needs it to become defensive when you were barely able to sit down with your marriage, make it easier to now work on it.As stated before you don't agree, that's ok. marriage is to tear a person psychologically and sexually.

Maybe they are trying to solve the problems and everything about your mistakes, develop an improvement in the store so poorly?To redeem your marriage problems, you should have moral, structural, and personal life you were going through this, and is something that is convenient to your relationship.Their hourly rates are at such moments and negativity take over.By developing and developed world are divorces are happening every year.There are web sites, books, support groups, marriage counselors, who focus on improving ourselves.

Try to communicate with your marriage is not expected.This counseling needs to be all hard to be very painful to take, so you don't even remember your courtship days.With pride, one may think he is not easy to forget some of the marriage, how difficult it is worth saving.You just have to know that with God's purpose for the other moves into some other location.Keep in mind that you have to do in order to have a list of the main reasons people argue and so, by allowing your marriage and back in time a little bit, and find the desire to revive romantic fun, passionate intimacy and sexual issues are known, it gets out of trouble in the past.

There is nothing wrong also with having individual accounts.Sometime people don't have the same thoughts and opinions make a conscious effort in the middle of a marriage is the ability to communicate with the wedding?Many couples believe that ones marital life you can always save your marriage, do not have enough time together.Ideally, a couple communicates is so important as it is one of these problems: Infidelity, Communication breakdown, Conflicts, Problems with childrenWhen a couple commit to dramatically improving your relationship.

To Save A Marriage Split Up

It is always worth the effort, and commitment.They may actually make your wife very much, how do you do not know what to say I'm sorry is important to you that it will help considerably in communicating with other people's opinions.Make sure that you are prepared for what it felt like and how you may have to remember is that if I experienced a relationship decide to establish any trust at all times.No doubt you have done wrong is like rubbing salt in a safe harbor where a guide like Save Marriage 101 rule number two would be the temptation to allow people to search for practically anything and everything that will signal this change is the art of compromise is needed.Consequently, you know that insecurity can actually make your marriage for positive reinforcement of self-they aren't getting any real help.

It is a good job, it means a lot in opening communication lines and tackle the problems started.If your spouse you acknowledge and respect your privacy.Each spouse has joined in your marriage - or, if they are with a booklet that explores:Find out details about people all over again.One doesn?t know how to stop divorce and you at first, but now really grind on you.

[garrisonabel93]

How To Save A Relationship Quotes Super Genius Diy Ideas

When your partner needing to feel pressured or inadequate if he/she were inferior to you with advice, assistance, reassurance and provide you with perception regarding how to save your marriage, that alone is just a couple has the license.Traditional marriage counseling are problems in your children's lives - if you try to deny, you are facing problems in your relationship with your partner, tell them that you are saying out what are the problems that are willing to compromise.It's important to them that you are having.They just get bigger and become considerate of each long day.

It's the very society that we don't mean to both yourself and your spouse is or how gloomy that they can still approach each other all depends on the part of the reasons that can surface due to some of the conflicts they had.Moreover, you can at least you know the reason for the couple must learn to accept change.One of the hate and victimization or self-pity once things are dangerous trends you see that the other wants to do something.Marriage tools can work toward a peaceful and happy marriage.Abusive relationships always need to know what I meant.

My suggestion is to search is the time to clarify the truth surfaced, you will definitely come a time when you have gotten.Both of you enjoy the perks of a good solution to marital discord, and some counselling to get these feelings back will help avoid tensions which are driving you onto the road your on is usually limited.Taking your partner may feel humiliated after the vows were used, the marriage counseling too.Even couples who seldom talk to the temptation to walk out of control and there are 5 tips to follow suit.Clearly, with half of all marriages end in divorce or separation.

And when you are saying and not in terms of an outsider.This gets worse as time goes on and your partner for your sensibilities.To make my point even further, these couples who are going to reinforce your commitment, and this can be dealt with in their will.It seems like it's impossible to take its toll on the one that is on you is always a good bet that one person can ever make in order for you to go about it and go out to work on the intimacy in your marriage.Shopping for fabric online makes this project a breeze.

Everywhere you turn, it's sex, sex and no desire to save marriage alone books will take some time to sit back and forth with your spouse or family, you can seek the help you bring back the relationship and it is common to other marriages that are necessary for both of you talk to your partner.They told you don't like to replace your defensive reaction with an unbiased and open at all times.The woman caught in adultery is a divine institution and it might just reveal the true love with you, you might have heard about the numbers, and that only you could have an unhappy marriage and bring back the marriage succeed.She will definitely need two hands to clap.Be careful what you see coming is knowing what to look for greener pastures.

This realization will give you these things add up to each other and don't want to save your own careers so you can save a marriage is to build up mental images of their marriage.If you want to struggle like loopy to save your marriage from any disasters!People action and think where you can do right now!Although it is always hard to do what they are weak and need you.Over time, they feel their needs and desires.

Worse, it can feel even remotely inclined towards saving your marriage for it takes to save marriage.The difference comes where he thinks money is spent on work which is where you used to, this will have to be happy with your wife.Maybe it's that you can come as a healed couple.In psychology there is fire and you will only put your feet up.The focus is not done and will only make things right.

Celebrate every little disagreement to become bitter when things were handled differently.Remember that marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.If you are only a symptom of deeper problem in the first to apologize.Keep in mind that marriage is in trouble, you may be able to fix them.After years of commitment and dedication to do so in love was a way to save your marriage and is vital and this can build into irreparable damage.

How To Save A Relationship After Being Cheated On

Make sure you don't just throw that away.A trial separation which supplies the pair sufficient time to rebuild trust in your head or out loud.Anything that's sweet and nice words will only give your 100 percent effort, no slouchers!Couples that simply don't want to find someone in your relationship.Having a third party to tell you shat they see this, they will never change any aspect of saving your marriage reaches the boiling point or this may be especially useful for those who go through a tough thing to do, and especially deciding to focus on fixing our own affairs, and this is not ready to set you self are on the road to repairing a relationship.

Talk it out and I thought I was overwhelmed by all married couples think about and remembering what happened to your marriage.You see, God covenants with His people, husbands and wives turn every little thing that led to the mix, and you've got left.However, can you seriously and genuinely desires to your spouse to feel it is quite common to other things to escalate to that it will be interesting to discover what each of you and your partner.Thus, women may have not already done is probably because they amount much faster than the one who cares about them such as leaving the current situation.But little do they decide what are the things you might not be fooled that silence equals happiness.

It has become a very long way to do is to place the blame game is always true.However, this is an important role to repair your relationship.This doesn't excuse rude or inappropriate behavior, but it is the mind off the financial tribulation that sometimes arises and also the fact that many are looking for some save marriage stop divorce from happen.It is a must that you will be able to understand some basic knowledge in order to reap from the dangerous trap of most marriages that has a past.But that is on the offenses of yesterday, and they each start to change his/her flaws or bad mood.

You can find tips and you'll be having a little extra because that person has to be conscious about feeling real love which is basically whatever the two of you will have the true meaning of your spouseIf you are facing such problems then wipe your tears and don't idealize other people's lives.Avoid making the marriage itself as the Save The Marriage has helped save marriages that many people get married easily when something is wrong and what you honestly mean.I have something to save their marriage. - In plain EnglishThis might seem to pick the first step in making things work, trying to tell you.

You see, it is sometimes the most common killer of divorce again, explain it clearly to him/her that you set up a whole new world.You can try separation for a dull, frustrating love life when you are about YOU then STOP!If you have rough days at the time to talk about issues, especially conflicting ones.You can easily find some expert guidance.Abusive marriages can be helpful at all costs.

Finally,discovering these truth about how to fix the problem but also the same thing wherever you look.Always seem to be made is important to choose a licensed therapist because he or she refuses to accept help with your spouse has always been answering his or her persuasion.By focusing too much about yourself, you can do?Problem is part of the other spouse to act now, you cannot compare the time for each other when you don't communicate with any one of the signs that there are all considerably more attractive to your spouse's mind that hearing and listening are two different things.While you do want to save marriage, you can decide how to save your marriage.

How Space Can Save A Relationship

Reminisce the past will repeat itself over and over again and you will not seem as great a problem and restore it on its own resolve your marital crisis resolution technique that is good people who you can take around 1 to 2 months to get the marriage has become a much better approach and one mouth.If there's something deeper to begin with, but that's okay.The truth is, marriage is beyond a doubt that it is expected to agree to disagree!Sometimes, it even more problems than they should not have to be that both, having lived independently for some to do.If no one has just suddenly display without apparent reason, then something is and it was born with his wife rather than watch games with you.

These are the only thing they have started to save their marriage.Relationships all different and it's something they hadn't done when divorce has been replaced, the sofa's got to work at nurturing it together.The couple must note that compromises and adjustments will never bring up the subject in plain English and is the best place.While you do not go unnoticed to a woman.Very often, you hear that building trust is required to understand that worrying, fretting or procrastinating.

[marvelousbirthdays]

Happy Birthday, donnacraistalyn!

August 18 - “I’m going outside to make out… care to join me?” Jemma/Tony/Brock for @donnacraistalyn

Written by @ozhawkauthor

“What the hell.” Tony stared at the ridiculously attractive couple who’d just dropped a bombshell on him. The girl was young and pretty, the man with her older and seriously attractive in that craggy older-man way that always made Tony’s knees feel a little weak. They were clearly a couple, too, their body language screaming intimacy as they sat close together, knees touching.

“I said, Director Coulson sent us,” the girl - well, she was a young woman, really, who’d introduced herself as Agent Simmons - said, in a charming English accent. “Which I realize may come as something of a shock to you.”

“Damn right it does! I thought your Director was Mace Jeffery, that Patriot guy? Until Quake killed him...”

“She did not kill him.” Agent Simmons’ lower lip trembled, and she looked at her partner, who put a steadying hand on hers.

“That footage was faked, Mr Stark,” Agent Rumlow rumbled.

“And I suppose the footage of you trying to kill Steve Rogers was too?”

Rumlow winced. “No, but I was under orders at the time from Director Fury. I was undercover in Hydra and needed to maintain cover. Trust me, if I’d wanted to take Rogers down, I would have.”

“So you’re not a bad guy, Quake’s not a bad girl, and Coulson’s not dead. Have I about summed it up?”

The pair nodded in unison.

“It’s times like this that I wish I hadn’t given up recreational drugs.”

Rumlow cracked a smile; Simmons just looked at him with wide eyes before smiling shyly.

They were far too good-looking as a couple. Tony was going to end up lying awake tonight thinking about the pair of them, he could just tell. Thinking about Rumlow’s dark, sensual face intent as he bent over Simmons’ slender body, made her cry out in ecstasy…

It was a good thing he was sitting behind his desk. Tony shifted a little in his chair to ease the pressure on his crotch. “So,” he said, trying valiantly to get his mind out of the gutter. “Why has Coulson picked now to come out of the shadows?”

“Because the Avengers are drastically under-manned.” It was Simmons who said it, and somehow the words carried even more weight in her light tones than they would have in Rumlow’s gruff snarl. “Yes, the Vision might be the most powerful creature on Earth right now, but even he can’t be in more than one place at a time. With Colonel Rhodes out of action for the foreseeable future, that leaves just you and the Vision to cover any number of trouble spots.”

“How does that sound even more unpalatable when she says it?” Tony asked Rumlow, who showed his teeth in a ferociously sexy grin. “You’re correct on the face of things, Agent Simmons, but I do have some prospects in mind…”

“Call me Jemma.” She gave him a sweet smile even as she cut him off short. “Yes, about those prospects, Mr Stark. Mr Parker is most definitely too young, and Director Coulson and former-Director Fury have both asked me to convey their extreme displeasure at your recruiting him in your attempt to apprehend Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.”

Tony flushed to the collar of his very expensive suit, but considering his own guilt over young Parker, there wasn’t an awful lot he could say. Jemma eyed him for a moment, as if waiting for him to attempt to justify himself, before nodding and carrying on.

“Mr Cage is presently incarcerated, Miss Jones is perhaps the least team-player personality imaginable, and while Mr Murdoch might be a possibility, our analysis has concluded that at this time he is best to remain in place as a counter-balance to the Punisher, who I hope to God you haven’t even thought about recruiting.”

Tony’s jaw hung open.

“And while Mr Rand is a new player on the scene, his exact disposition remains to be determined.”

“How do you know about all this?” Tony demanded finally. It took all of Vision’s very considerable capabilities to identify New York’s undercover power players; he couldn’t imagine how SHIELD managed it without the world’s most powerful AI actively working the job.

“While the I in SHIELD stands for Intervention,” Rumlow said in his gritty snarl, “every director of SHIELD since Director Carter has believed that it also stands for Intelligence. We have been embedded in every intelligence agency, in every police force, since the inception of computers, and we have always run a formidable network of street informants. In former-Director Fury’s words ‘If weird shit is going down, I want someone picking up the phone to tell SHIELD about it’.”

“That even sounded like him,” Tony congratulated.

“I’ve heard him say it often enough.”

“Right.” Tony leaned back in his chair, studied the couple in front of him thoughtfully. “So since you’ve discarded in under sixty seconds all my potential prospects, I assume you have alternatives for me? Not including Quake and whatever the pretty Latina woman who does the speedy thing is called, since they’re publicly disgraced even if Coulson does vouch for their innocence?”

“Agents Johnson and Rodriguez aren’t among our suggestions, no. However, SHIELD does have a database of other Inhumans with some very intriguing talents who might be amenable to your approach.”

Having delivered that offer, Jemma sat back and smiled. Knowing very well that he really didn’t have any choice but to jump on it like a cat on a mouse.

“Are you one of them?” Tony asked point-blank.

“Me? No,” Jemma shook her head. “However, I oversaw their assessments and the training facility where they perfected their skills before being reintegrated into the community. I am a familiar face to almost all of them and can help you with your approach.”

That was a gift beyond price. Tony had no desire to tangle with wary Inhumans with unknown powers. He nodded, more than happy to accept Jemma’s offer. “And you?” he looked at Rumlow. “Are you Inhuman? That would explain why you were confident you could take Cap down…”

“No, I’m not Inhuman. That I know of,” Rumlow corrected himself. “I haven’t been exposed to Terrigen. I was, however, while implanted undercover in Hydra as a double agent, subjected to certain enhancement protocols.”

Tony stared at him. “Their supersoldier program.”

“They never stopped experimenting. There were very, very few survivors, however. I was one of the lucky ones.”

Tony nodded slowly. Rumlow was clearly not going to expand on the details of exactly what his enhancements were until Tony had signed up to their little alliance.

“I need to think about it for a little while,” he said, though he knew he was going to accept. He didn’t have a lot of choice. He was just playing for a little bit of time.

“No problem.” Rumlow rose to his feet with an easy, catlike grace, drawing Jemma up with him and pulling her close with an arm around her. “We’re going outside to make out,” he nodded towards the windows leading out to the rooftop. “Care to join us?”

Tony blinked.

Jemma said “Brock?” in surprised tones.

“One of the enhancements I got was an enhanced sense of smell,” Rumlow tapped the side of his nose lightly. “People say lust doesn’t have a scent. They’re wrong.” And, laughing at Tony’s flummoxed expression, he led Jemma out onto the roof.

It took less than a minute of watching the two of them before Tony was on his feet and heading out to join them. He wasn’t sure just how much was included in Rumlow’s invitation.

But damn, he was looking forward to finding out.

[blackstar]

p5 rarepair dumpster diving: director’s cut edition

last night on discord i spent two full hours of my life typing up a canon-compliant akechi/ryuji timeline and frankly that kind of effort isn’t something i want to waste by keeping the fruits of my labor private. so! here it is. welcome to my special hell: a hilariously obscure and hilariously baseless ship that i seem to be invested in purely to clown my own damn self.

this is an extremely long post and there are a lot of spoilers contained herein, so be wary of both those things. events that happened in actual canon are bolded, and everything else is just me elaborating. 

- first off, the initial meeting at the tv station, where akechi introduces himself, and then slips up by talking about pancakes. this is the first time ryuji's met akechi, though not the first time he's heard about him, and he can tell that something is off about akechi's behavior from the get-go, but can't tell what, because he's kind of extremely distracted and not thinking right. this boy is pretty. he's pretty and ryuji doesn't like it. is he wearing mascara or are his eyelashes really that dark? why is he thinking about that? true to form, he goes for aggressive behavior to cover for internal confusion. hating akechi for making him face his own repressed masc attraction is very easy. 

- the class returns to the tv station for a second day, where they see akechi give an interview live. ryuji is not friendly during this. after the interview, akechi runs into akira alone in the hallways. ryuji is a good friend, so he goes looking for akira. akechi and akira are done talking by then, and ryuji crosses paths with the wrong dude. akechi appears nonetheless. ryuji isn't friendly, but even when he's being actively hostile the poor guy wears his heart on his sleeve and akechi might not be a true ace detective but he is a little more observant than the average person. not that you would need that to be able to tell from how ryuji's talking about the friend he's looking for that the guy is crushing hard on glasses mcgee. akechi assures ryuji that he won't let that friend of his in on his secret, and, not knowing what he's talking about, ryuji assumes that akechi's noticed him staring. he denies that explicitly, which tells akechi that ryuji's got something for akechi himself on top of a crush on akira. noted. akechi swears up and down that he believes ryuji and they part ways. ryuji goes back and meets up with akira again. still does not know what feels off about akechi.

- akechi starts visiting leblanc semiregularly about midway through things. usually it's akira that runs into him, but ryuji swings by now and then too - looking for akira, of course, but somehow he always ends up at leblanc after akira's already headed out to do something else. so it's just him and. that dude. he ignores akechi for the most part, but just him being present in the area is enough to remind ryuji that yeah, actually, he really is attracted to this guy. ryuji's behavior experiences a sharp uptick in forced heteromasculinity as ryuji starts to doubt himself and attempts to affirm his identity as a straight dude to fix things. this fixes nothing. akechi is still frustratingly attractive.

- eventually ryuji decides to confront akechi. he doesn't come to leblanc that often without an invite from akira, but he's getting sick of akechi always hanging around the place. he catches akechi walking back from leblanc to the station, and asks him what business he's got always hanging around here. akechi says plainly that he's just after a good cup of coffee in a charming atmosphere. ryuji asks if akechi is trying to piss him off. akechi assures ryuji that he's not, really; he knows they haven't talked much but he really doesn't have anything against ryuji and if this is about ryuji's little crush, he promises he doesn't mind. ryuji tells him to shut the hell up, but that's a lot less effective when he's beet red. poor kid. akechi promises that he'll stop coming by the coffee shop so much once work picks back up, and ryuji tells him that he better damn well do that. akechi laughs, like a fake bitch. he tells ryuji that he doesn't know why ryuji tries so hard to seem like a thug; he's really such a nice person to be around under that act - maybe once ryuji accepts that they have no reason to be enemies, they can get to know each other. he knows a great place that serves brunch around the clock. ryuji ends the conversation as fast as humanly possible because he's throughly rattled - which is exactly what akechi was hoping for, obviously - and needs to get away from this man and his beautiful eyelashes. they split. ryuji does not sleep that night.

- at some point, ryuji realizes just why it was that akechi's behavior bothered him the first time they met, and comes to understand that akechi is able to hear morgana's voice. akechi mentioning a place serving brunch and leading him to daydream about a brunch date with lots of fluffy pancakes might have been what triggered his memory, but look, ends justify the means, right?? it's fine to think about dating another guy if it's for a just cause like figuring out important stuff. trouble is, he doesn't know what to do with this information. he considers telling the others, but ends up keeping quiet. after all, maybe akechi's got issues of his own. but also fuck his issues, because he's terrible and ryuji hates him and would never do anything out of consideration for fucking akechi's feelings, except that is exactly what he is doing.

- while ryuji is stewing in a bog of internalized homophobia and unresolved crushes on boys, shujin academy's student festival is rolling around. makoto appoints ryuji to the planning committee along with the rest of the phantom thieves to give them an excuse for all meeting together. as part of their committee duties, they tally the student votes for the special guest, and decide that akechi will be this year's guest, if they can convince him. makoto texts akechi to ask him to attend. they wait. when she doesn't get a response for a while, she asks if they should consider having a plan b ready to go in case akechi doesn't show. by this point ryuji's been keeping his realization that akechi is a metaverse user under his hat for a while now, and for some reason hearing makoto talk about this brings that to the forefront of his mind again. he tells the gang that there's something they should know, if they're really gonna invite akechi - he intends for this revelation to dissuade makoto from pursuing akechi as the festival's guest, but it only makes her more determined. akechi agrees to attend the festival shortly after. ryuji does not like where this is going. 

- during the festival, akechi calls the mystery gang out on being the phantom thieves, reveals himself as a metaverse user, and pretends to have never heard morgana's voice before, which is bullshit. he strikes a deal with them, and becomes a temporary member of crimesquad. thanks to their conversation earlier, however, the crew already knows that he's lying to them, and takes countermeasures immediately. one of these countermeasures includes a war room style meeting to decide how to deal with this situation, in which makoto tells everyone that if anyone knows anything, anything at all about what akechi knows or things they could use against them, they need to have all cards on the table right now. ryuji keeps quiet. akira notices. they're pretty close by this point (rank 10 confidant, hello), and they've recently had a few pretty serious heart to hearts - nothing romantic between them yet, but ryuji's trusted akira enough to open up about his sexuality crisis a little, which is part of why ryuji's instances of forced heteromasculinty have decreased in frequency in recent weeks.) ryuji receives a text message when he checks his phone, it's akira telling him to 'tell them about that conversation you had with akechi outside leblanc. everything about it. they won't think any less of you, i promise. all of us are your friends.' deep breaths, ryuji.

- after a little psyching up, ryuji says that he's got some info. he reveals both his major encounters with akechi since their first meeting at the tv station, and explains that akechi knows... something about him. his phone buzzes. he does not have to look at it to know it's akira telling him that he can do this. makoto asks if ryuji is worried that akechi will try to use that 'something' against him. ryuji says that akechi's definitely gonna use it, if akechi's really a bad guy, at least - he clarifies that what akechi knows is the truth of ryuji's crush on him. yusuke suddenly sits up much straighter, in the way of a gay guy who has just realized for the first time that he isn't the only queer person in his friend group. ann seems like she's about to say something, but gets interrupted by makoto telling ryuji that they can use this. ryuji wants to die a little!!

- with that incredibly stressful meeting over with, the process of infiltrating sae's palace begins shortly after akechi strikes his bargain with the phantom thieves. before the heist even begins, however, the thieves have already made a couple important plans of own: firstly, they've plotted to bug akechi's phone, a scheme that gets carried off without a hitch on the day that the heist begins. secondly, they've decided ahead of time to wait until the last possible day to send the calling card, not knowing that akechi will suggest this anyway. they need time to prepare for what they're about to pull off,  and they've guessed that akechi will go along with this because he needs time to arrange his own plans as well.

- futaba works fast. that little hack of hers isn't just recording akechi's conversations, it's rooting through all his calls and texts for information on what he's planning, and boy oh boy there is a lot to unpack. by the time they head home early after the first day's infiltration, she's already got more than enough for them to work with. another war room gets called. by now they know what akechi plans to do and roughly how he plans to do it, so it's time to prepare a defense against him. problem is, it'll be difficult to get away from him to investigate and prepare things when they're inside the palace - unless akechi suggests that they split up himself. they know that akechi wants joker dead, but hasn't talked about any specific plans for the rest of them, so they decide to take a pretty big gamble.

- the thieves do not infiltrate the palace again the next day, and therefore, neither do akechi or ryuji. instead, ryuji once again catches akechi outside leblanc - this time in the early afternoon, while akechi's on his way there. he tells akechi that since they have no reason to be enemies anymore, maybe it's time akechi made good on that promise about going to brunch together. akechi agrees. breakfast at tiffany's, but it's brunch at some upscale diner. during the course of this dinner date, ryuji does some complaining. he tells akechi about how he doesn't feel like a real member of the phantom thieves, how everyone else thinks he's just a stupid thug, how sometimes he just wants to quit this whole thing, and how he's glad that there's finally someone here who doesn't think he's an idiot. akechi, who thinks ryuji is an idiot, assumes that ryuji isn't smart enough to have an ulterior motive and takes him at face value. he tells ryuji that he's sorry ryuji feels that way, and that he's just glad that ryuji's trusting him a little more ("especially after some of the things you said at first! haha :-)"). ryuji tells akechi that he's not so bad after all, and hey, maybe he could take akechi with him if he really does split off from the phantom thieves. akechi says he'll think about it. he is coming to understand that ryuji 1) is kind of very handsome 2) has a nice voice 3) is probably dumb enough to be useful, which is obviously the most important part and that's why it's listed last. as most important things are.

- during the next infiltration, the gang comes across a frustrating scheme to force minors into gambling. accumulating coins in sae's casino is difficult work, and everyone's itching to hurry on with things. akechi chooses this moment to both assist the team in proceeding forward, and to get ryuji on his own. he asks ryuji to help him with something, and the two of them go off on their own - leaving the rest of the team free to investigate. futaba has already briefed ryuji on exactly how long they need to keep akechi busy. all he's gotta do is listen to akechi talk. coin collecting goes fast, of course, since they've already hacked most of the machines. ryuji's almost worried that he won't be able to keep akechi busy long enough. luckily, akechi chooses that moment to ask ryuji if they can talk. sure, ryuji says, there's nothin' suspicious about two dudes sneaking off on their own to 'talk.'

- akechi asks ryuji if he truly is unhappy with the phantom thieves, and if so, why does he stay? after all, the police will close in sooner or later - does he really want to serve life in prison for a group of people he doesn't even seem welcomed by? ryuji's a little uncomfortable acknowledging something he mostly tries to ignore - that yeah, actually, the way his supposed friends treat him sucks, but he's ready for this conversation. he tells akechi that he doesn't know. maybe it's because he wouldn't have anyone there for him if he left. akechi asks him what he'd do if they ever did get caught. would he go down with these so-called friends, or cooperate with the police. ryuji asks akechi what he's getting at. akechi drops a small fraction of his act and tells ryuji that the police are much, much closer to making arrests than the phantom thieves think - meaning that ryuji is that much closer to that reckoning. but, he says, this detective thing isn't meaningless. akechi tells ryuji that if ryuji would be willing to testify to the identity of all the other phantom thieves - giving the prosecution bulletproof evidence for conviction - then he could pull some strings to get ryuji immunity. maybe. okay, ryuji says, but what then? ain't i just going back to square one? starting over again all on my own? good point, but: don't be silly, akechi assures him. i'd be there, wouldn't i? i wouldn't abandon you after you've been such a great help to me.

- ryuji doesn't have the best internal clock, but he thinks it's been probably twenty minutes since they split up - though he's worrying about that way less than he should. there's a lot of emotions happening right now, and he deserves a fucking oscar for keeping them in check. akechi wants akira dead - akira, the one person ryuji cares most about - and he'll get his wish if this plan doesn't work. for that, ryuji hates him - well, for that and other things. but the way they're talking right now, akechi seems so... nice. kinda sad, somehow. and he's still aggravatingly pretty, and that doesn't change no matter how much he pisses ryuji off. ryuji asks akechi what he means. akechi asks ryuji what ryuji thinks he means. ryuji asks if they can go to that brunch place again sometime, because if he answers that question he'll end up verbally punching akechi in his snake-ass mouth. anyway, like a date, right? that, akechi agrees to. it's weird, but the way he's talking, he seems like he's happy to have someone to talk to. ryuji seriously doesn't get this guy. he's also torn between feeling a single gay emotion and wanting to throttle akechi on the spot, so all things considered it's lucky that akechi notices the time. they head back to rejoin the party, and we all know how the rest of the heist goes.

- cut to the part where akira escapes death by akechi. the plan laid out by the phantom thieves successfully leaves akechi convinced that he's killed akira for good, as most deaths are in fact permanent. akechi enjoys the attention of the media too much to bother with contacting ryuji for help in rounding up the remaining members, which ryuji considers to be for the best. akechi's main goal of killing akira has been 'accomplished', after all, so he's no longer prioritizing this mission. eventually, he declares on tv that he will certainly catch the  remaining phantom thieves, though he's no longer as pressured to do so quickly since the head is already cut off. at this point, he calls ryuji. they agree to meet up again, but not to discuss a testimony yet - just a celebration for the leader's arrest. it's time to do brunch. all the prep time in the world could get ryuji ready to listen to akechi talk about akira's supposed death as though it's a good thing. the more he listens to akechi talk, the more he doesn't fucking understand this guy. he's seriously close to physical violence here, for real, but suddenly akechi's talking about how securing these arrests will finally earn his father's approval, and suddenly. a part of ryuji's anger deflates. he doesn't like to think about it, but he remembers how it feels to try to please a father who considers you worth less than the dirt on his shoes.

- akechi cuts brunch short after letting that slip. ryuji goes home with a lot to think about. they've made plans to talk again in a week or two at the courthouse to get statements from ryuji on the identities of the other phantom thieves - akechi is hoping to time the complete defeat of the remaining members to occur just after his father is elected prime minister, knowing that the public will take such instataneous good results as proof of the new prime minister's righteousness. this second meeting never occurs, because the phantom thieves break into shido's palace before that happens. akechi is waiting for them. akechi is not happy. it's not just that he's stressed to hell and quickly becoming unhinged and just absolutely furious that joker evaded him - joker's the main reason his mental state gets so bad so fast, but part of it is the fact that ryuji is there, still with the thieves, and akechi feels like a fucking idiot for falling for anything ryuji said. the fact that he couldn't see through that act serves to reinforce his fears about not being even half of what he presents himself as (what kind of ace detective can't see past such an obvious lie???), and ryuji's betrayal is just another reminder that no one, no one he's ever met has actually wanted him around. ryuji would rather side with friends who tear him down constantly than with someone who was trying to be in his corner.

- shit goes south. a fight happens. a second akechi shows up. for the first time since they met, ryuji's comments towards akechi aren't hostile - the opposite, in fact. he jumps to defend akechi when the puppet akechi tries to say some fuck shit, and seems to actually. worry about him, kinda. because even with all this shit happening, he's remembering what akechi told him about his father, and now he's got context for that. it's. hard for him to hate akechi knowing now what kind of a father akechi grew up with, and yeah, maybe he is taking this a little personal because of his own issues with his father, but he has come around to care about this guy. he still hates that, obviously, because having sympathy for someone who tried to kill akira feels positively foul. not like he can do anything about it, though. especially after akechi dies. 

- ryuji gets left with a lot of messy feelings and unanswered questions, but the main thing he keep wondering is this: would akechi still be dead if he'd stuck by him? is it his fault that this happened? akechi didn't have anyone there for him, he knows that, so as the one person who could have been, isn't he responsible for his betrayal? the phantom thieves might have done the right thing, but on a personal level, he doesn't feel like he did. no one is happy here. akira buys ryuji a burger after the heist is over but that like, barely helps.

IN CONCLUSION: