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#she is bold I like it
floodlight-bridge · 8 months
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The fact that there is an intensity to eye contact that can change, be changed during, is so crazy and my favorite thing about it. It’s like when you read in a book the eyes fill with desire. A heat. I almost don’t want this…we’lll call it flirting to come to a head w this woman, it’s been so fun, but…the desire.
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She made me food. I walked her to her car and finally kissed her. I am v happy.
Having some of the best sex of my life, she made albondigas it was incredible, and the communication is something I’ve never had. Not used to someone wanting to take care of me, just because.
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miguxadraws · 2 months
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teaching pomni how to dance
what type of music would they dance to? i dont even know! but i think dancing with your partner or teaching them how to dance is the peak of wholesomeness!! actually adorable...
astral circus AU belongs to @chelledoggo
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haunted-xander · 2 months
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
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#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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starry-bi-sky · 26 days
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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liillyliilly · 3 months
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I Need A Challenge
ushijima wakatoshi x reader words; 3804 synopsis; she writes a scathing review of ushijima's volleyball skills. how else should he respond if not by inviting her out to dinner?
She was tired of people like him. People who had no reason to be so stereotypically perfect. Everyone knows the type, comically good looking, is a prodigy in their one specific thing, acting so nonchalant that it ends up becoming their token personality trait. It was all so boring to her.
Which is why, as she was taking notes in the most recent Volleyball Nations League game, she wrote down some very harsh words for her analysis of star spiker Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was just the brutally honest truth of the world, she reasoned. Her editor, after reading the article she wrote at the game, almost dropped their jaw in shock at what she had written.
“This is really,” Editor Xhou sucked in some air through his teeth, “This is almost borderline libel material.”
She inspected her nails, shrugging as Xhou kept talking to her.
“I mean, you said that he is, and I quote from your own words, ‘Ushijima is the default setting for a volleyball player, there’s nothing too particularly unique’. You want me to let the paper publish this?” Xhou leans back into his office chair, pushing his glasses up and sighing.
“I write the truth, and the truth is that when Ushijima is on the court, you always know the exact plays he’ll make, the exact moves he’ll execute. The result is consistently the same. The games are too predictable when he plays.” She stands up from the seat opposite to Xhou.
Xhou sets the paper on his desk, checking that she really is okay with the article having her name attached to it.
A thumbs up is the only response she gives to her supervisor.
Xhou stamps the paper with his name, and faxes the documents to the coordinator putting together the sports magazine review for this issue. He wonders if the legal team is going to get involved again, he remembers the last player she reviewed, he was crushed and had to move to Alaska to play in a much smaller league. Xhou fully believes he’s going to get the magazine sued for letting her article fly.
Tendou finishes his squat set, hanging up the weights with a heave. Ushijima finishes his hundredth bicep curl, finally finishing his repetitions of this exercise.
Tendou pokes some fun, “I'm so sad for people without legs, they have to skip leg day.” He muses, trying to see what reaction or comment his best friend will make. Tendou twists and flexes in the full length mirrors lining the gym.
Ushijima only responds with a nod. He checks his phone, only to see that he’s received a little over four hundred notifications and counting. The beeping and noises start to pile up. Tendou peeks over Ushijima’s shoulder and gasps, he steals Ushijima’s phone away and immediately investigates what all the hustle and bustle could be related to.
“You should probably read this article, I think the writer has it out for your throat Wakatoshi.” Tendou grimaces while handing the phone back.
He skims the article, viewing the main talking points and major issues the author brings to light about his play style. His boring, everyday genius playstyle. He’s read criticisms of his volleyball skills before, but this one doesn’t seem too targeted solely about him, just using him as the mechanism to get a broader point across about the lack of challenges in volleyball recently. He chuckles at one of her comments, reading it aloud.
“Monster generation? I need a real challenge from these players, but all they’re giving me is platinum dreams without true passion and anger for the sport. I want them foaming at the mouth with new tricks, but I’m getting the same exact game over and over again.” Tendou cringes as Ushijima reads the words out loud. Ushijima stifles another chuckle.
Ushijima tucks his phone into his pocket, picking up his duffel bag. “I like her. She knows volleyball.”
It wasn’t just her comments, it was also the name of the author that Ushijima liked.
Tendou drops his water bottle in response to Ushijima’s behavior, stunned at the openness of amusement he has for the article and for the investment he has for this particular reporter.
Ushijima’s manager says that she’ll have a cease and desist letter issued to the paper for publishing such a slanderous piece. Ushijima proposes an entirely different solution.
She didn’t expect to be sitting at a restaurant, pencil and paper in hand, waiting for someone she just dragged through the mud to arrive so they could share a meal and an interview.
It was winter, and her reading glasses had fogged up slightly in the difference between the outdoors temperature and the warmth of the restaurant. The main features of the restaurant was the Western Style dining choices and decor, it reminded her almost of a hibachi place, but instead of Japanese food it was just a bunch of American and European dishes.
“It’s nice to see you again.” Ushijima pulls out his chair and settles into it, grabbing his glass of water so he can drink from it.
“High school seemed so long ago, but yes it is nice to see you again Wakatoshi. Sorry for the piece, your name just carries the right amount of importance to get my bigger points across.” She crosses her legs, setting her pencil behind her ear. The waiter comes around and takes their orders. He asks for the salmon, and she gets the house soup.
“No, I totally get it. But the statement about how people just continually eat up the single dish I serve? I thought you would’ve found a better analogy for my consistency on the court.” He just smiles at her, watching her move the pencil from behind her ear to her mouth so she could chew on it a little. One of her tells of when she was deeply thinking about how to respond to something.
Ushijima remembers all the stories she would write back in high school, ranging from sports analysis of Shiratorizawa clubs for her journalism extracurricular to getting paid to write love letters from person to person. She garnered enough money to pay for a new laptop and her entire wishlist of stationery items.
He remembers her lending him a pen once during class, it was a weightier metal pen. The ink was so black he was sure it was made of pure darkness. While he admired the pen she went into a rant talking about the pen itself, the quality of it and how it took forever to be delivered to her. They both got chastised by the teacher for having a side conversation and had to sit outside the classroom. But they ended up talking outside the classroom despite being told not to.
“Like you’d know what a good analogy looks like.” She hides her smirk behind a spoonful of soup. Ushijima appreciates her ability to be unapologetic, her honesty and bluntness matching his own linguistic traits.
They talk for three hours, about volleyball, life after high school, the article she wrote, about friends and the situations they found themselves in. Ushijima talks about Tendou and his chocolatier aspirations, she brings up Semi Eita’s new album that actually sounded truly alternative and unique.
He remembers her having a crush on Semi throughout high school. He didn’t really see why she would sit at their practices sometimes, just sighing wistfully, before freezing and turning flustered when Semi tried to make conversation like a normal person. But when Semi was seen to be a slight habitual complainer, she grew a distaste for him. Ushijima was sure that Semi was her longest crush, clocking in at around two months or so.
Ushijima did enjoy that she came to their practices sometimes, because then he could ask her about her pen collection and she would openly, loudly, and enthusiastically layer on every detail she could fit into her remarks. And she was someone who asked him about his favorite things, primarily volleyball but also about reading the advertisements in the Weekly Shonen Jump Magazine. Or about how good a runner’s high could feel sometimes.
Around her, he could share without fear of being misunderstood. She just accepted what she heard, and then analyzed it, taking her time and asking clarifying questions. He did his best to emulate her mannerisms and tact within their conversations, usually failing, but she didn’t mind.
She did openly declare an aversion for him throughout high school, that genius powerhouses should never be entertained with acknowledgement. What others considered harsh from her was almost like beaming encouragement for him. It was like she was telling him, if he didn’t continually improve and advance then the stagnation would leave him in the dust. A push in the right direction was more accurate of why she would say what she did about him.
He takes the bill from her, puts his gold debit card on the clipboard, and returns it to the waiter before she can even open her purse. Rolling her eyes, she sets some bills on the table and slides it over to him. Glaring at him until he accepts the cash and puts the bills into his wallet.
“Are you dating anyone right now?” Ushijima inquires while they walk down the street to get to the train station. The night air leaves a chill around the two of them. He had his hands tucked into his pockets, and she had her arms folded over her body.
Snow falls from the sky, catching the lights and making streaks of color burst in small flickers like fireflies. The piled up snow in the roads hadn’t yet been plowed thoroughly, and wasn’t sullied with pollution that made it yellow and black. The snow was much more like a blanket.
“Listen, I’m what people consider easy to love but hard to please. Most people say they felt like they were never enough for me when we were dating.” She bites on her bottom lip a little. It’s a confusing feeling to be unnerved by him, and she feels even more uneasy when she realizes that she’s speaking too openly. “I don’t intentionally degrade those I date, I just, I have high expectations. I don’t give many second chances.”
His breath comes out in puffs of white, winter nipping at his nose which makes him feel uncomfortable. He wonders if she’s as cold as him. He knew that she had high expectations, none of the boys at their high school got remotely close to being romantically involved with her. She wanted more than what most people could offer. She wanted someone who was as open as her.
She feels a little guilty about her article now. Maybe she pushed the words a little too much on his bad qualities. Ushijima really wasn’t that bad, he was just dependable and rational, which crafted his playstyle of being an ultimate pillar of strength for a team. Why shouldn’t a team go with the most reliable way of scoring points? Then she shooed the thought. If volleyball wanted to keep being popular, it needed to evolve.
“I liked your article a lot.” He offers, segwaying the conversation, knowing her thoughts better than she knew them. “Power goes far, but even then, there’s ceilings that need to be broken. There’s talents that need to be unearthed, planted, and then allowed to bloom.”
They sit on the bench under the covering for the train station. The screen shows that the train she needs to take will come in around ten minutes.
“Thanks. My editor was worried you were going to sue me for what I wrote.” She laughs a little, rubbing her hands against her thighs to build up some lingering heat in her hands and her body.
He passes her his gloves from his jacket pocket. Making a small hum he waves them in front of her. She accepts and embraces the black fleece covering her fingers.
“Oh, no, there’s no way I’d want you to be sued. But I do want you to add another part to the article.” He blows some air onto his hands, rubbing them together. She raises an eyebrow inquisitively, turning towards him on the bench.
Once he had finished reading her piece on Ushijima’s game, he went through and read all her other articles. He found out her favorite current player was actually Hinata Shouyou, the energetic innovator. She had written about his unique approach, due to natural athleticism. Also about his experience in Brazilian beach volleyball making his defense skills unique in the field of both Japanese volleyball and on a global scale. It was all about Hinata this, Hinata that. But could the ultimate decoy ever compare to the pillar of strength?
“What do you want me to change? I can’t make any promises.”
“Say I’m your number one, because I don’t do last place.” Ushijima lifted her chin up, looking right into her eyes. He inspects her face, the small miniscule motions her features display show that she’s listening, actively listening. “Did I ever mention that you’re the only one that has my attention?”
She really was. The only reporter he cared to give quotes to after big games, the only girl who he ever wondered if there was any possibility to develop a relationship with. He was hooked on every word she wrote, every interview she hosted online. She was in his world, but never overlapped her social circle with his for longer than an hour at best.
She swallows thickly, “I’m sorry to say this, but I really am unimpressed by your playstyle.”
He raises an eyebrow, sliding his hand from her chin to the side of her neck. He can feel the way her pulse is racing under her skin.
“We both know that’s not true.”
Her train arrived. She ducked under his hand and made her way onto the train. Before the sliding door closes, she motions him closer so she doesn't have to yell.
“Then show me your talents. I need a challenger for my first place.”
Tendou lies on his stomach on the floor, Ushijima is reviewing some plays written by his coach. He scans for any play that could show off his left hand spikes, or any play that he could try and improvise a receive if he wasn’t on the front row rotation. The plays are different from what he’s used to. But his coach said that they were all optional, and that Ushijima’s playstyle was perfectly fine as it was. But ‘fine as is’ doesn’t earn him any accolades in her book.
Tendou perks up, “I always felt like fighting had romantic undertones.” He references what Ushijima had told him about how the dinner with his reporter went last week.
“But I don’t want to fight her? I’d hardly call a slight disagreement a fight.” Ushijima sets aside the packet he had been studying.
He opens his phone and refreshes the webpage for the newspaper she worked for. When nothing pops up under her name, he goes to the calendar page to see if she’d be attending an upcoming game he’d be playing in. He sets his phone aside when he realizes she will in fact be in attendance.
“But you do want to fight for her ‘first place’ hottie player ranking.” Tendou kicks his feet in the air, crossing his feet and tapping the top of his head.
Ushijima stands up and goes to check his closet, seeing if he needs to get a tighter jersey for the upcoming game. “She never used the word ‘hottie’ when talking about her favorite player.”
“So you admit that you do want to be her favorite player?”
Ushijima finishes trying on the jersey over his long sleeve compression shirt, the jersey fitted better than he remembered. He tugs on the front of the uniform. Then what Tendou said clicks for him.
Ushijima blinks, “I do want to be her favorite player.” He doesn’t see why he would deny that observation. Being her favorite player would be the ideal situation for him.
Tendou rolls over onto his back and wiggles his pointer fingers in the air, “You want to be more than just her favorite player.” He sings the words in a teasing manner.
“Maybe I do.”
One time, near the end of high school, she was talking during lunch. Her friends were uninterested, wanting to discuss boys or homework instead of her critical worldview analysis. Her table was right next to the table that Ushijima and Tendou were sitting at, their volleyball friends already outside tossing around a ball.
Ushijima listened in, drinking his milk while Tendou ate chicken nuggets. When her voice got quieter, almost to the point of fading out entirely due to her slowly realizing her friends were not as interested in the conversation as she was, Ushijima leaned in subconsciously, trying to catch her words.
Tendou pinched Ushijima, telling him that if he wanted to listen to her, he should ask her to come sit with them. Ushijima froze. So Tendou invited her to come sit with them. Placing her lunch tray down, she ate a carrot, sensing Ushijima’s hesitance and Tendou’s eagerness.
It was Ushijima that spoke first, “Keep going. You remind me of someone. He said almost the same thing, about his worthless pride and not forgetting about it.”
She brightens. Continuing her dissection of the value of pride, she refers to Ushijima as a reference point for pride. Using him in her examples and demonstrations of her illustrative examples. Around the third time she says his family name, he makes another request.
“You can just call me Wakatoshi.”
Tendou drops his chicken nugget, but quickly regains his pace in eating the arms off the dinosaurs.
She says his name, once and then twice. Letting it settle onto her tongue and leave a trace of what a first name basis could mean. Pondering on that instead of her newest philosophy interest is quickly dropped. She only ever calls him by his name from then on.
Needless to say, the next game he plays at, she’s there, with her notepad and pen. Each receive, hit, serve, and toss is carefully recorded on her paper.
He doesn’t do anything too off the typical, but he does try new things his coach had mentioned. Pressuring an opponent’s highest scorer more, trying a few block kills when he’s in the right rotation, scoring some points off the tip of the blockers hands instead of cutting right through their attempts to defend. He’s more tired after this game than his last one. Yet, he had more fun this time around. His teammates seemed thrilled with the results of never having a gap less than five points.
After the game, before he goes to the locker room to debrief with the team and change into regular clothes, he stalks his way over to her. She’s talking to another reporter that had been sitting in the media section, but the other reporter just elbows her lightly when he notices Ushijima making an attempt to approach. The other man slowly walks away, bidding her a farewell.
She’s still sitting on the bench, cheekily covering her notes with her hand, and writing something down. When he takes a place next to her, he spreads his legs a little, expanding his presence and bumping their thighs into each other. She initially retracts from the touch, but relaxes into it.
He’s aware that his body is thinly sheened with sweat. It drips from the hair at his nape down his back and soaks into his player kit. She brings her notepad up to her face, looking at him over the spiral binding of the paper. Trying to hide her comments and analysis of the game, which had been overwhelmingly positive for Ushijima.
“What’s your professional opinion of the game?” He uses a finger to push down her notepad that was covering her nose. A streak of ink and pencil lead was across her cheek and nose. He brought his thumb up and wiped away the markings. At first swipe, nothing moved, so he slid his thumb over again with just a little more pressure.
“It was entertaining in a different sense. Rather than being solely athletic entertainment.” She licks her own thumb and finishes wiping away all the marks that she could feel him trying to get rid of. She misses a sliver on the apple of her cheek but he doesn’t say anything, enjoying the way that it makes her seem less intimidating and more adorable.
“Care to share with the class?”
“Well, when a certain player keeps trying to make eye contact during the game, when he should instead be invested in the game, it does pose some interesting investigative questions.”
At this point, Ushijima slid his hand to her thigh, asking her to explain further, “Such as?”
“When will he get up the nerve to ask her on a date? Will he take her for a ride in that brand new car he got? Does he need glasses from how frequently it seemed he scrutinized the audience in search of her?” She pauses, then continues, “And will he be mad if she writes something about how attentive the setter was during the game?”
“Soon, for the date. Most definitely a long car ride to the mountains. His vision is actually perfectly 20/20, he just wanted to make sure she was having a good time by observing her reactions. No comments for the setter, he’s a rookie, and much less attentive than an older, more experienced player.”
She hums a little in regards to his answers to her inquiries. Soon, she tugs on the back of his hand, the hand that was resting on her thigh. She bites the cap off her pen, waving the pen in the air, close enough to his skin for him to understand the point of what she was communicating.
The pen tickled the skin of his hand, but he liked the way she put one hand under his to make his hand rest flat so she could write her piece on his body. Capping the pen back up, she tucked it behind her ear.
Written on his hand was a series of numbers, along with a small doodle of a volleyball.
Getting up from her spot on the media bench, she leaves him with a short statement.
“I liked your response to my challenge. Keep making the Monster Generation bloom with each game Wakatoshi.” She halts for a moment, then turns back to him, “You can be my number one on those conditions. Blooming the Monsters and responding to my challenges.”
He’d return every challenge she gave him if it meant he could be hers.
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stuckinapril · 4 months
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A major annoying thing about being in a male dominated stem field (chemistry for me) is you basically work w guys 99% of the time & they ALL think you have a crush on them if you’re even fleetingly nice. And so far I’ve refused to water down my personality to compensate for it but it’s so annoying knowing I’m inadvertently feeding into someone’s unchecked ego
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anteroom-of-death · 7 months
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It always drives me insane, but especially now, how people dismiss 12 and Clara as romantic canon or eventually subtextually romantic. We've seen the Doctor in Canon romantic love. We've seen the Doctor in Canon best friends situations.
With his arguably biggest (based on how insane the fandom and writers, especially rtd are/cling onto) nu who love interest, Rose. When she's in danger he's fawning and doesn't bend. 10, especially isn't furloughed in morals as much as 12. (Or 9, but this is a different talk for another day.) He's not laying awake thinking if he's good or evil. He just accepts and goes.
When Rose and the whole Doomsday plot happens, all 10 does is burn up a sun to say good-bye. (Then treat Martha like shit until uWu Donna time.)
With Clara, he frequently goes to the next level. Hell, most his words in seasons 8 and 9 is her name! He's jealous in a way he never was with Mickey at Danny. He's constantly at odds with himself. He feels and acts legitimately threatened.
When she is finally dying. He loses all pretense, gives into his urges and threatens genocide, holds hostage, coups and kills. He is willing to undo his past of saving Gallifrey from falling, to save her. Keep her. Hold her.
It's only when Clara reels him in does he think differently. Go a different route. Be nicer. Chose a shard of kindness to the rest of the universe.
They both brought out the best and worst in each other until the bitter end.
"Friendship" my ass. That's real, toxic, deep all-consuming love.
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matchalovertrait · 30 days
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Dulce and Caruso's second date went as smoothly as the ice cream they ate! However, it seems that Caruso was taking too long to ask Dulce out, so she had to take matters into her own hands.
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star-ar512 · 9 days
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when storch gets serious (inspired by this video from @joetastic2739 )
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the funniest thing about the "call us jaladdin" line is that i have not stopped referring to the two of them as jaladdin since watching rise of red for the first time
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candycandy00 · 2 months
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I turn 40 this month.
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send-me-a-puffalope · 11 months
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Being a lesbian is crazy because why did I leave the theatre after watching the FNAF movie drawing hearts around Vanessa’s face in my head and thinking that everyone was gonna love her because she was the most stand out character of the movie (to me).
and then logging on to social media and finding out no one cares about her/actively hates her 😭😭😭
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kedreeva · 1 year
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I love her little self soothing palp movement and how she tippity taps things.
Today was the first time she's been out in about 3 weeks- she holed herself up in a nice hammock to molt and just came out a week ago. I fed her once she kicked the molt out, and I've been sitting with her with the cage open daily since. Today she was brave!!
She's also practically doubled in size! She's SO big now compared to her i8 size. She's supposed to move into the bigger enclosure but I still have a few things to get and put in before she can go in, and she couldn't go in there until she was willing to come out of the sling box. I'm hoping she'll come out for a little daily now that she remembers it's okay, so I can move her in before her next molt.
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my last order to you as a diamond
“no one can ever find out we did this. i never want to look back. so, for my last order to you as a diamond, please, let’s never speak of this again. no one can know.” — pink diamond, a single pale rose
“pink diamond is so sure that she's powerless, but she's actually profoundly powerful, so much so that she devastates people's lives without understanding it because she thinks she has no real power or sway.” —rebecca sugar, end of an era
even if you understand rose, pink can still be difficult to understand. she faces unimaginable punishments if she doesn’t follow the twisted rules of homeworld. but there’s hidden details that reveal her genuine self. the pebbles, the gems who are considered the most inferior, know her as the one gem who would thank them. she’s so excited when she can play with other gems like equals and she’s not getting “that dumb salute.” white gives pink a colony just to prove that she will fail, but the moment pink discovers the harm that her colony is doing to life on earth, she immediately wants to stop her colony and fight to protect them.
much like steven in gem glow when he finds out he has a shield, pink can’t be aware of her powers, she can’t understand them, until she sees them in action.
and rose… never sees the power behind her orders as a diamond in action.
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pink’s intentions when she gave the order
—> context: pink is escaping to begin a life with the person she’s falling in love with, so they can be their true selves, be free of homeworld’s rules (one of the main ones is giving orders & following them), & continue their rebellion.
—> “no one can ever find out we did this”: i see this as reassurance-seeking, as she would be incredibly scared in this situation. the other diamonds make her feel as if they wouldn’t care if she’s shattered. however, if she’s caught faking it, the punishment is unimaginable. white threatened to “take her pearl away” whenever pink disappointed her, so she was always scared for pearl, too. while pearl is the first person who has made rose feel completely loved & safe, reassurance is needed regardless. pausing to remind pearl not to tell anyone is actually expected given pink’s trauma & the situation.
—> “i never want to look back”: they love everything about each other as individuals & they particularly love all the things they weren’t allowed to be on homeworld. rose fell for pearl’s boldness, how fiercely opinionated she is; pearl fell in love with rose’s softness, the way that she thinks all life is precious. rose is expressing that she wants to truly move on from this old world so that they can embrace being who they truly are—and having the dynamic that they want, one that reflects how they feel about each other.
—> “my last order”: we know that she has a tendency to speak very passionately with symbolism during emotional moments (i.e., tape in lion 3). pink states that it’s officially her last order, symbolizing the end of their old lives that they both despised. she hated giving orders as much as she hated the salute. it’s also an official promise that she will never give orders ever again. partially because she sympathizes with pearl’s particular homeworld trauma, partially because of her tendency to blame herself for things. and really, it’s simply a relief for both of them.
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rose’s guilt
after giving pearl the order, pink looks at pearl with so much care, respect, and admiration in her eyes. she’s so grateful… and so oblivious. she simply feels reassured after the person she trusts the most promises to keep the secret. besides, it doesn’t feel like too much to ask because she knows that pearl doesn’t want to tell anyone. that would put them both in danger.
at the same time, her eyes look sad. even without knowing the impact of her order, she feels guilty that pearl is keeping so many of her secrets. it’s related to lots of other issues that they have, such as pearl being self sacrificing during the war. pearl’s the only one who truly knows exactly what she needs protection from and how much danger she would be in if she poofed. rose also feels lots of self hatred & pain & she can never hide this from pearl the way she hides it from others, because pearl knows so much, including traumas. she knew her when she was very naive, belittled, vulnerable, facing ongoing abuse. rose fears that she is causing pearl distress due to the mere fact that she is the only one who knows all these distressing things about her.
with that sort of guilt, it would just be out of character for pink to give this order if she knew of the power behind it.
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steven
pearl never tried to tell anyone the secret until the diamonds put steven in danger. she never needed to tell anyone. the diamonds were never a threat for the thousands of years that she was with rose. this also says a lot about the reasons behind rose’s death. people who hate rose often say that she died to “leave steven with her problems,” but the topic of the diamonds never even needed to come up for thousands of years.
pearl seems surprised when she realizes she physically can’t say anything. still, she seems to find a way rather quickly when she knows for sure that she needs to tell him. pearl is an intelligent & strong-willed character; these traits get overlooked because she’s emotional and passionate about her sincere, intense love. even the day of, she tries to verbally tell him, proving just how unknown this power was.
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things changed throughout the years
pearl grows in many ways while rose is alive, and this growth starts as early as the now we’re only falling apart timeline. early on in the relationship, pearl fought with rose when she didn’t agree with her.
around the same timeframe as the final order, pearl stands her ground when rose tells her that she doesn’t have to stay and fight with her. she argues, “but i want to!” and rose refers to her as my pearl. as individuals and as a relationship they attract gems who also want to rebel against homeworld’s society. this reenactment of one of their biggest arguments ever shows pearl disagreeing with her, expressing why she feels differently, and she even shouts at one point.
also, notice how most of the issues in their relationship happen when they’re fresh out of homeworld. they make progress then, and in we need to talk pearl is very sure of herself and loves showing off how much rose feels for her. rose notices this growth and it’s reassuring for her. issues come up before rose dies & losing rose definitely brought up old wounds. but they seemed to have little to no issues in the thousands of years between the war and the 90s. pearl hated being bossed around, this was comforting for rose… and it made it hard for her to ever imagine the impact that order had on her.
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the end + a note about pearl
“her impulse control is pretty poor. she doesn't really think about when another person, you know, when she's putting another person in danger.” —rebecca sugar, the art of steven universe
“rose wanted to give everybody the kind of environment she didn’t have, but everything about her is about who she didn’t want to be.” —rebecca sugar says goodbye to steven universe
besides everything that the creators mentioned, johnston stated that the power behind her orders only apply to her assigned pearl on homeworld. also, stating something without being pink diamond & saying it’s an order will not have this effect (so, on a positive note, it’s important to remember that pearl’s love for rose and everything she does on earth are not orders she’s following. this is the only time they’ve had this issue). in now we’re only falling apart, pearl was portrayed as being very good at her job, working diligently and doing everything she was expected to do up until the rebellion when she had the opportunity to be who she wanted to be. and rose was herself too. given how complicated this is, it was difficult for rose to figure out the power behind these orders.
anyway, considering the intentions she has when she starts her life on earth, rose’s flaws as she gives this order would never be: wanting power over pearl, manipulation, and quite literally using their original and forced homeworld dynamic to get what she wants.
(i also don’t think pearl would love her so much if this was the case. she fell in love with rose for opposite traits such as her soft heart & how she felt about all life + the world.)
instead, the flaws are: obliviousness, naivety, & maybe even impulsiveness because that’s an ongoing flaw that rose has throughout the series. she often says and does things quickly and without too much thought, especially in difficult situations and when she feels strongly about something. due to that constant fight-or-flight she’s used to being in, she doesn’t think things through and has trouble moving at a slower pace, thinking before speaking & acting, reflecting.
but even then, she wouldn’t say this, even impulsively, if she knew the truth. it’s ironic and unfair to both of them, as the order silencing pearl symbolizes everything that pearl + rose were rebelling against. but it’s clear that rose didn’t know the effect of it. this is a negative aspect of their relationship, yes, but the intentions behind it definitely change how the relationship looks as a whole. it’s sad, but it’s not malicious.
i think pearl is the strongest character in the show. time and time again, she shows that she is her own person with unique strengths, makes progress even following setbacks due to trauma, and she proves everyone on homeworld (who think pearls are things, with irrelevant feelings who can’t fight and are made to serve) wrong. she is outspoken, courageous, smart. she hated serving but she has a selfless & caring personality, so instead she becomes this incredible (and sometimes intimidating) sword fighter who protects the one she loves—so strongly that many misunderstand it. and here’s the thing: as much as rose would feel terrible if she knew about all of this, pearl's ability to defy an order that contained powers she had no idea existed is one of the many reasons rose would be proud of her if she could see her.
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swan2swan · 11 days
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Keep your eyes on the road at all times.
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coldflasher · 6 months
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anyway, thanks to that moment in the sound and the fury where barry is standing around watching with blank frustration like "god i wish i'd taken a language in high school" while hartley verbally eviscerates both cisco and eowells in multiple languages, i now headcanon that len speaks a second language, mostly cos barry would find it really annoying
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