#she literally fared so poorly in this thing

[cryptias-space]

The main characters of my book To Catch A Star.

First up we have Zelda Hollis, the human. Zelda is a 22 year old college student, forced by her adoptive parents and abusive boyfriend/fiancé, Ezekiel, to hide her true self in many ways. Forced to ignore her love for theater, forced to hide her sexuality, and forced to conform to their standards and needs. She loves musical theater, adores nature and animals, and loves skateboarding. Despite being extremely shy and closed off, she shines on the stage, thriving in the spotlight. Due to the stress of her parents and abuse from her boyfriend/fiancé throughout her life, she has dealt with a lot of depression and suffers heavily from PTSD. It's not until shes an adult that she gets diagnosed as Autistic, keeping it secret from everyone in her life. (Art is censored just incase Tumblr tries to take down artistic nudity) [More on her story later]

Next we have Spectra, the alien. Spectra is part of a species known as the Vadae. She fares from a nation called Vacilite on the planet of Gibasmir. Spectra is not sure when she was born or exactly how old she is, but in human years she is roughly 26. Born the daughter of the Captain and lead scientist of the Vacilite militia, Spectra was raised rather isolated. The only exception being her mother's second in commands twins, Elinoth (she/her) and Vohrix (it/its). Spectra was raised to take over her mother's place and that she did, Vohrix taking its father's place as her right hand Vadae. Spectra was cold and analytical, often being perceived by strangers to be mean or even cruel. But Elinoth and Vohrix know she's a sweetheart on the inside. Just recently before the beginning of the story she adopts Vaeshivka, a Tumultpa aka lava stone hound. [More on her story later.] (Censored for the same reason, but her nipples are shown in detail in the middle because they glow in the dark)

Summary of the first chapter or so of the book below the cut. I'm probably never going to post this story unless this post gets insanely popular or something. Also, for the sake of clearing things up, I have podophobia, aka a phobia of feet. Because of this it makes it insanely hard for me to draw feet since I can't exactly look at references. I tend to go with the basic shapes and nothing else that way I can still have full bodies and not trigger myself.

Our story begins... Zelda first meets Spectra the day her boyfriend Ezekiel proposed to her and she was forced to say yes. He had threatened to tell her parents if she declined, and she knew how poorly her parenrs woild react. After a rough night of Ezekiel once again forcing himself on her, Zelda decides to go for a ride on her skateboard. She starts to sob while skating and tumbles to the asphalt. While she lays in the street, her knees and hands bleeding, she screams into the night for something to save her from this life that she never wanted in the first place. She passes out only to wake up aboard Spectra's ship. Upon meeting Spectra face to face, Zelda can't help but find the strange woman-like alien beautiful. And despite Captain Spectra's second in command, Vohrix's attempts, Zelda moves in with the alien who quite literally abducted her, feeling both hopeful for her life away from abuse, and terrified of living on the brand new planet of Gibasmir. Spectra and Zelda have to find their way through a weird and wholly unique relationship while struggling to come terms with this new situation.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Women leading superhero films has a long and troubled history even before losers online decided to make it their life’s mission to bully Academy Award-winning actress Brie Larson for the crime of being in a mediocre MCU movie. 2004’s Catwoman is the film that is usually pointed to as the movie that poisoned the well in regards to superheroine blockbusters, but it takes two to tango; the following year’s Elektra is just as much to blame for the negative perception of these sorts of films.

And how could it not be? It was rushed into production, Jennifer Garner really didn’t want to do it but was contractually obligated, it was supposed to be rated R until more contractual obligations nipped that idea in the bud, and on top of everything else it was a sequel/spin-off to a movie that was already extremely unpopular (Daredevil vindication was a long way’s off at that point). With all that in mind, is it any wonder that it’s one of the lowest grossing films to ever be based off of a Marvel comic? The only films that did worse were Punisher: War Zone, Man-Thing, and The New Mutants. Even the Howard the Duck movie did better than this shit!

The career of director Rob Bowman as tanked because of this film, with his credits being relegated to TV. Garner, meanwhile, fared just as poorly, with her career cooling off and leading roles not being a thing for her after that point. But worst of all is the career of the poor boat house in this movie, as it ended up appearing in Fifty Shades of Grey. And obviously this film dragged down the idea of a woman headlining a superhero flick for about a decade until Genocide Barbie Gal Gadot stepped into Wonder Woman’s boots. And while Catwoman would receive better adaptations on the big screen, Elektra would get no such chance…

...Until it was revealed that Garner was reprising her role in, of all things, Deadpool & Wolverine.

While the film isn’t out as of the time of this review, the announcement of her presence in it really got me intrigued about the last time she donned the red ninja outfit. I’m a huge apologist for early to mid-2000s superhero garbage, so it only made sense to check it out in preparation for the massive Marvel crossover Deadpool was about to deliver. And you know what question I always ask when going in to an infamous film like this: Is it really that bad?

THE GOOD

This film is just hilariously corny when it wants to be. I think when it does stupid stuff other superhero films of the time did, it tends to do them at least a little better. For instance, like Ghost Rider it has a quirky miniboss squad full of boring flat characters who exist for Elektra to kill. But while the ones in Ghost Rider are completely forgettable and bland, this film at least has some striking visuals with Tattoo and hot forceful lesbian murder smooching with Typhoid Mary, something I’m sure awoke things in the five people who watched this.

Garner herself is really, really trying, and to her credit most of the action scenes she’s in are pretty ok when they aren’t being edited to death. As I watched the unrated version, the brief glimpses of insight into her backstory are nice, and I do love that bright red costume on her. If nothing else, she does sell how cool Elektra is supposed to be with how she carries herself, even if the writing isn’t doing her many favors.

The final act is where things really get fun, because we have a big stupid battle against magical tattoos, teleporting ninjas, and genuinely the funniest possible way to kill a villain ever. I legitimately burst out laughing when I saw this:

THE BAD

Unfortunately, no matter how funny Typhoid Mary taking a knife to the forehead after saying her only two lines in the movie, two lines that actually give her more character than every other villain in the film, it can’t really completely save the film from its two massive, crippling issues.

Literally everyone in this movie is a fucking moron. The biggest moron is easily Elektra’s buddy, who sacrifices himself so Elektra can escape from the bad guys… but his sacrifice is pointless because they pull the info from his mind with psyhcic powers. He would’ve been better off running away with them! But it’s not like the villains are much smarter; one of them chops down a tree, and then almost immediately forgets this and walks into its path before getting crushed to death. It is genuinely absurd how dumb these characters manage to get. The dumbest of them all, however, has to be Stick. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck this man is trying to accomplish at any point, because he is recklessly gambling with people’s lives here.

But hey, dumb decisions are fine in a trashy 2000s superhero movie as long as they lead to some enjoyably dumb scenarios, right? Well, about that… Barring a couple of ridiculously goofy action scenes, this film is pretty bereft of memorable corniness. Remember how I said the minibosses in Ghost Rider were not as good as the ones here? Sure, maybe it’s true, but no amount of murderous lesbian smooching makes this movie more memorable than Ghost Rider, which features over a dozen insane Nicolas Cage moments. But maybe that’s cheating, it’s not fair to compare a Jennifer Garner vehicle to a Nicolas Cage one… so how about Catwoman? As absolutely shoddy as that movie is, there are a bunch of cringey, campy scenes that have helped earn the movie at least a handful of ironic fans. There’s just nothing like that in Elektra. It’s trashy and stupid in safe, unimpressive ways for the most part, and it doesn’t do anything at all to really stand out from the crowd.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Yeah, I guess it’s bad, but the level of bad that it is is greatly exaggerated.

The movie I’d most compare this to is, of all things, Morbius. I love Morbius more than most people, and even I’m willing to admit it’s multiple bright spots of trashy charm are interspersed with the dullest shit imaginable, and Elektra has a similar issue. It’s just so goddamn unmemorable and dull for the most part, with only the final act being packed full of silly nonsense to latch onto. But even that comparison isn’t great, because Milo was sprinkled throughout Morbius and was genuinely hilarious the whole way through, while Elektra just plods along until it remembers to actually be a little cool for the finale.

I guess really the film is less “bad” and more “not good.” Like if you throw this on in the background as noise while you do something else, it’s not the worst you could do, though even then something like Black Adam would probably be better. If you want to watch a trashy 2000s superhero film, I guess it’s not unwatachably unpleasant, but why wouldn’t you watch Catwoman or Ghost Rider instead? It just is in such an unenviable position where it’s the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, the least engaging super-schlock ever made, a movie not good enough to be vindicated but not bad enough to deserve the hate it gets. Elektra is just a film that exists. That’s all there is to it and aside from the single funny death, I have no strong feelings about this movie. I think a solid 4 is where this belongs. Not good enough to be average, not bad enough to be awful, it’s just there.

All this being said, I’m honestly very excited to see Garner become a teleporting ninja assassin again. Every comic character who was in a crappy adaptation deserves a second shot, be it as a new character (Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger) or as a reprisal that improves on the untapped potential that was there (Jamie Foxx’s Electro in No Way Home). I’m rooting for Garner to get her due, and for Electra to get the respect she truly deserves… But I just don’t really think this movie’s going to be getting a reappraisal no matter how good she ends up doing.

[dzamie-oc]

Voretober 11 - Regret

Length: 1800 words Vore type: M/F oral vore, reluctant prey Fandom: Pokemon Other info: Liepard pred, human prey, feral pred, threat of digestion Summary: An ex-Plasma Grunt seeks closure with one of her past victims. It goes poorly for literally everyone but the Pokemon.

With each step Marie took closer to the Castelia City storefront, it felt only further away, and her backpack - or rather, the clothes inside - hung more heavily off her shoulders. Part of her hoped to find it packed with customers, to give her some excuse to put it off for one more day. Marie clenched her jaw, brushed a lock of red hair over her shoulder, and continued on; the rest of her wasn't a fucking coward.

The bell over the door, decorated like a Chingling, rang as the woman entered. Despite the store's varied collection, the air smelled mostly of books, mixed with cinnamon incense. A woman with short, black hair looked up from her phone behind the register. "Oh, hello!" she said in a light, customer-service voice, "can I help you find anything today?"

As tempting as it was, Marie had more important things than tchotchkes or the new "Ledyba and Black Nyarth" comic. She sighed and approached the cashier. "Kind of. Um… may I ask, Riley, how's your Purrloin doing?"

Confusion and concern were evident on Riley's face; she took a step back from the counter and one hand dropped to her hip for a pokeball. "H-how did you know- wait, Purrloin? Who are you?!"

Marie immediately raised her open hands and took a step back, herself. "Did I get the wrong person? I'm sorry, the records are kind of-"

"Records? What are you talking about?" A dark green pokeball swelled to full size in Riley's hand, and she held it out in front of her, guarding herself from whatever she thought Marie was up to. "E-explain yourself, or else! Where did you look me up, and why?"

"I…" Marie accidentally backed into a shelf and straightened up, "do you, um, remember the whole "Team Plasma" thing about a decade ago?"

"Yeah, but I was never involved with them! For one, I was twelve, and for two-!"

Marie cut her off. "For two, a young Plasma Grunt stole your Purrloin, so you weren't exactly keen to join up."

This threw Riley for a loop. "Yeah. But how would you…" Marie watched her connect the pieces in her mind; as soon as she did, she returned the pokeball to her hip and instead grabbed a heavy-looking book. Though still threatening, the look in her eyes was one of fear. "You bastards aren't taking him again!" she declared.

"It's just me, and no, I'm not. After realizing what the team was really about, I quit and fled. The fact that I was lied to doesn't change what I did, but I just…" Marie swallowed a lump in her throat and tried again. "I found a copy of Plasma's quote-unquote "liberation" records a couple months ago, and your Purrloin was third and last on my… rap sheet. I just want to know, how is he? I really hope he was able to recover from that."

Riley was silent for a long, uncomfortable minute, then retrieved her pokeball once more. She tossed it up and called, with a measured voice, "Noir, showtime."

A burst of red light coalesced into a feline form. Rather than the short, mischievous biped Marie expected of a Purrloin, what appeared was a sleek, four-legged Liepard, standing an impressive four feet tall and adorned in a beautiful, dark purple coat. He landed on the store floor without a sound and glared at Marie before turning to Riley for instruction.

"Noir, this is the woman who stole you from me back in Nacrene city." The brunette's voice was tense with effort to keep malice from her tone. "She wants to know how we've fared ever since we reunited on Skyarrow, after thinking we'd never see each other ever again."

Marie dropped to her knees and shrugged off her backpack; the light hood of her old uniform fell out from it, but she looked nowhere but the cat's green eyes. "Purrl- Noir, I'm so sorry. I can't even claim a change of heart; I was simply too stupid, too blind to know the bond between a girl and her Pokemon." Noir stared placidly back at her, tail lashing behind him. Marie dipped her head and closed her eyes. "Please forgive me. I heard the cries of the Pokemon we'd stolen; I don't have to speak your language to know that I must have hurt you."

"You're asking him, and not me?" Riley asked. There was an edge to her words, but also a note of surprise.

The ex-grunt nodded, never raising her head. "Noir was the one I grabbed and imprisoned. Even if you offered, I couldn't accept your forgiveness if he would't grant me his."

She didn't hear him move, nor did she expect to. Marie startled when she felt the Liepard's paw on her shoulder, and when she looked up, his feline face filled her vision. She wasn't N, she couldn't get a read on him. Was he thinking it over? Was he planning to gut her? It didn't matter; she'd forcibly taken his life into her hands, and would not flinch from a reversal.

Noir yawned wide, rows of pointed, yellow fangs framing a glistening, pink tongue and mouth. However, rather than closing his mouth, the Pokemon pushed forward, and surprised Marie by fitting her entire face between his jaws. She reflexively closed her eyes just in time to feel him tense around her and drag her head forward, into his throat. It was warm, dark, and tight. His fangs brushed against her neck, and she half-expected him to continue to close them. From beyond the Pokemon's jaws, Riley shouted his name, horrified; Marie heard the sound of a pokeball recalling its Pokemon… and then the sound of that beam of light shattering, of a miserably failed capture.

Noir swallowed again and promptly got stuck on her shoulders. Despite the lack of fresh air and the vertigo of strange forces all around her head, Marie did her best to pull her arms in close. He could be no less trustworthy than she had been. Slowly, steadily, the feline worked his jaws back and forth as he soaked Marie's hair and shirt collar with drool; eventually, Noir worked out an angle and approach to get one shoulder, then the other, inside his fanged grip. With all the saliva, she couldn't tell if his fangs had pierced her skin, not as if it was of any matter. His throat, on the other hand, accepted her much more easily, stretching to keep her in a painfully tight grip. It only got hotter as she descended, closer to Noir's stomach.

Just then, something rammed into Noir, raking his fangs through her shirt and possibly flesh. Marie heard Riley yell something else, maybe at Noir, maybe at her. She was growing dizzy. The heat around her chest sank lower, just past her ribs. The air around her head - if she could call it that - grew sharper, almost painful just to breathe, but it wasn't as tight around her head as it was around the rest of her. Something dragged against her knees, or was she being dragged around, herself? Her body told her to move, to thrash, to fight, but there was a reason she wasn't. There had to be, even if it was hard to remember. Maybe she could think after a nice, long-

Red light blinded her, and Marie fell, her upper body drenched, onto the floor of the shop. She made out a blurry, green, circular thing laying that the light had vanished into, and a woman's voice was loudly moving around the store. Taking slow, deep breaths, Marie pushed herself onto her side, and then up a bit, working into a sitting position against a store shelf. There was another red light, and a large yellow and black - no, yellow and purple - figure filled much of her sight. A Pokemon, to be sure.

With each breath, sharpness returned to her vision and mind. Noir the Liepard sat before her, watching her with a keen eye. Her backpack lay to his side, or rather, what was left of her backpack and its contents lay in a heap of tattered, torn fabric. Riley rounded the shelf and skidded to a stop, wielding a spray potion. "Oh, thank goodness! Noir, what the hell! You can't eat people!"

Noir turned his head and smiled, as though pointing out that, as just demonstrated, he COULD, and simply didn't. Marie tried to wave away the Potion, as the scars would be a reminder of the lesson she'd learned… but Riley pointed out that she really couldn't have her walking out of the store a bloody mess. After getting herself sprayed down and repurposing the tatters of her old Plasma uniform as bandages, Noir approached her again. Riley cautiously brandished his pokeball, but Noir simply lifted his forepaw and smacked Marie a few times on the head before licking her once, twice, three times, before turning, booping his muzzle against the pokeball's button, and vanishing back inside.

"Well… I don't get it, but I guess he forgives you," Riley said, staring at the now-dormant pokeball.

It took some effort to stand, but Marie soon stood upright. She scooped up the remnants of her backpack and uniform. "How about you? I know it's a long thing, but-"

"Absolutely not," Riley shot her down at once, "you're insane, I wish I'd never met you, and my life has been worse for each time we've interacted." She shot Marie an icy glare. "Thanks to you, my precious Noir is capable of killing people, and I'll have to live with that knowledge. If I never see you again, it'll be too soon."

Marie nodded and walked back to the front door. "Noted. Thank you for your time."

The other woman switched on her customer service voice again. "Have a good day!" she half-sang, "come back never!"

The bell on the door jingled, and Marie stepped out onto the street. After a few seconds, she turned for one last glance. Riley had her head in her hands, leaning on the counter. Marie sighed. With the last Pokemon down, her heart was lighter… but man, that could've gone so much better.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

I have this wild, out there theory (aka delusional hope) that the show is going to try some mix of the Merrick book where they summon Claudia’s spirit, and take the body snatching from Tale of the Body Thief, and try to put her into a new body.

I'm thinking this bc in the books, there's this girl named Rose. She calls Lestat uncle. Louis rescues her from a fire when she's a teenager. I know those aren't exactly strong parallels (but hope is the thing with feathers and all that)

But Rose also lived in a terrible place, where she was treated so poorly she literally got sick and was bedridden and dying. We know Claudia wasn't treated well at that boarding house she was living in with her Auntie, who she says was mean and old and beat her. So there's another similarity.

However, Rose was allowed to grow up and go to college. (Then some stupid Anne Rice type shit happened that I don't want to go into.)

The point is, Rose was allowed to grow up and find love before she became a vampire. (With Lestat's son. But I don't think the show is going to deal with Viktor, so whatever.)

Anyway, my theory is they find her another body, a human body, and put her spirit in it. She's still obviously going to be pissed off at the circumstances of her death, what Lestat and Louis did to her by turning her. She'll probably want nothing to do with them.

Then she lives for a while as a human. And decides whether or not to become a vampire. The point being that the choice is hers.

But if she does become a vampire, it's not Lestat who turns her. Maybe Louis if they have some sort of reconciliation. But it could be some other vampire we haven't met in show yet. And then she gets to live happily ever after, the end.

Or hell, maybe Fareed has learned how to clone people with his science and/or magic and can clone Claudia as she was as a human. Then she grows up and chooses to be a vampire.

Will this ever happen? Probably not. But a girl can dream

[imsoglitter]

Nepo baby swift and her "I'm a self made country singer but I grew up right outside of Pittsburgh" bs need to take several seats. Like, as far as I'm concerned, any artist should be allowed to branch out into any genre they feel like. Just don't make up a bs fairytale about it.

Taylor Swift's old country is literally the only thing I can stand from her anymore, and that's mostly nostalgia lmao. It's mid pop country fare and it's great if that's what you're looking for. But I'm seeing a lot of country fans just being straight up racist about Beyonce making a country album and I'm so tired. You can't like shitty pop country by white women and then act like Beyonce isn't making "real" country music just because she incorporates other elements. Hell, most modern country is nearly indistinguishable from pop these days with the way so many artists are (mostly poorly) including heavier rock beats and rap elements. Like, I miss the days of George strait and steel guitars too, but if you're only criticizing Beyonce and not like. Luke combs or Keith Urban or any other modern country artist I think you might just be racist

[lilyharvord]

Is Red School good?

I have a lot of thoughts in regards to Red School, the further removed I am from it (that is the longer its been since I read both parts) the more I loath it. There's just a lot wrong with it and I guess since I've come so far and I've digested both parts after a year it's time to make a list of all the reason I hate that thing.

1. We'll start with the cover.... I should have known this whole thing was going to be C-/D+ at best with those cover. I know people who only have a year of photoshop experience who could have done a better job. You couldn't have paid me to buy that hard cover or a physical copy of that thing.

2. The art is.... subpar. Sometimes the characters looked good, most of the time they did not. I told someone that Maven's face literally said "🔻" on every page and that he looked like a knock off version of Severus Snape 🤢. His eyes too? Are you serious? And the reason for why they didn't give him blue eyes is such a fucking joke. The artist had one job, literally one job. AND CAL, my son... my darling boy, on the week of his birth was done so goddman dirty. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK VICTORIA. There were NEGATIVE things attractive about him. I dont even wanna talk about the bare chested fight scene with a 14 year old. I dont wanna talk about it. I dont wanna talk about that (BUT IT IS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE POINTS ON THIS LIST). MAVEN WASN'T EVEN ATTRACTIVE. And dont get me started on Malibu Barbie Mare Barrow (I will say, at least she has "brown" skin 🙄 we love the bare minimum being done). Every girl in the story looked the same, except for the minor characters in Skool...which is maybe a problem but I haven't read A Skool of Gud and Evile so I dont know those characters. I felt bad for them too tho. The ONLY character who looked good (as she deserves) was Evangeline. My Queen looked like an absolute fucking badass, but that's it (even though she in on way shape or form looked asian in descent but that is a battle for another day 😒). the Skol characters seemed to fair better than the RQ ones on every page and I was just tired by the end.

3. The story is... meh. It's fine. It's entertaining. I get that it's supposed to just be "fun" or whatever. But it's so strange. And i know people are gonna be like "Oh but Lily, it's a cross over! It's meant to just be a giggle, and entertain us"... and that I say to you: I KNOW FANFIC AUTHORS WHO COULD HAVE COME UP WITH A MORE BELIEVABLE REASON FOR HOW THOSE CHARACTERS GOT THERE AND A MORE BELIEVABLE STORY LINE. Also... like... what is the time line??? Cause if you read Reed Skool, the ending makes 0 sense in the context of Red Queen. And I get that is was probably hard to mash those two worlds together and come up with a believable plot... but are you serious? Two New York Times Best Selling authors? And they decided on Zombies? Zombies? For real? My god they could have done better.

4. The characters... are just off. There is something off. I dont know if it was because all I had been doing for over 2 years since broken throne was writing and reading fanfic but man... there was just something off. Maven was not charming (period) he was sullen and sort of... I dont know already tipping toward whatever he was in glass sword? At least he was interesting in RQ, in this he was like a cardboard cutout. Mare had 0 personality. Her main personality trait was staring out windows dramatically and making innuendo comments (there is literally a bit of dialogue where she tells maven "at least we're not eating each other" with like a suggestive smile in reference to her, Cal and Maven. i threw up in my mouth). And Cal... oh lord I dont have the strength. For a moment, I actually believed the people who called him a brick wall with no personality in RQ because he had NEGATIVE personality in this thing. WHERE WERE THE PUNS? WHERE WAS THE PINING AFTER MARE?? He spends the whole time... like not saying anything important at all. I couldn't tell you one line of dialogue that he said. He doesn't even really talk to mare and they're in like 50 panels together. Maven doesn't even really have a conversation with Mare? and he's in even more panels with her. HE SPENDS MORE TIME FUCKING FLIRTING WITH THAT BLONDE CHICK FROM ASOGAE. I swear to god, if that thing hadn't been a PDF on my phone I would have thrown it across the room.

5. There is literally an entire 2 pages wasted on this stupid moment where Cal and whoever that guy is from Skol of Gud and Evile where they take their shirts off and have a fucking wrestling match in the middle of a ballroom in front of 100s of people... I... I had no words. I think I actually cringed and made an ugly face about it. The boy is 14 in the book, I googled it. Why the fuck is Cal a (21 year old) fighting bare chested with a 14 year old who looks like he's 30? Man I dont know, but I cannot believe Victoria green lighted that. Greenlighted a level headed military strategist who is a GROWN MAN having a dick measuring match with a 14 year old like it's middle school. And dont get my started on how they drew Cal in that scene. Annie has posted that panel on here and I actually can't look at it. I...I was so upset. I was upset on behalf of Mare and the entire fandom.

6. There is a fucking joke where this skinny dude can turn into a buff werewolf and then when he changes back he's butt naked in front of everyone. Like... was that supposed to be funny? Was I supposed to laugh there? Oh shit, my bad. 😒 Why was that in there? What was the point of that?

7. The "twist" is just... for real Victoria? You who championed the whole; SUPRISE GUESS WHO THE BAD BUY IS twist and you went with what you did. I was so disappointed. And again, it makes 0 sense in the context of RQ.

8. This is personal to me but Mare and whoever the main girl is in Skool definitely should have been Bi for each other and that's on that. They had more chemistry than Mare had with Cal or Maven.

Reed Skol was clearly a cash grab... or an attention grab. A means of keeping both fandoms on the hook while RQ rode the coattails of ASoGaE since it was already announced it was getting a TV series. It was a very poor grab too. There were 100s of better ways this could have been done. 100s of better ways Victoria could have kept our attention. They could have done a RQ graphic novel set like Sabaa Tahir is doing for an Ember in the Ashes that details Prequel-esq type stories. We could have had a set of those stories that were Red School's length in graphic novel format: One story about Mare and Kilorn in the Stilts or Mare and Shade with Kilorn in the Stilts. A story about Farley and her sister in the Lakelands. A story about Iris in the Lakelands. A story about Maven and Thomas where we learn what happened at the front with them. A story about all the young Silvers in the Palace were we would see all their interactions when they were younger. We could have just gotten a fucking RQ graphic novel in general. I would have dropped 60+ dollars on a hardcover graphic novel version of RQ. Instead we got whatever the hell Reed Skol was supposed to be. It honestly pissed me off, and I'm glad I didn't spend a single penny on it. Would have been a waste of money. Glad I didn't buy that special package with the interview with the authors either... Victoria would have faced my wrath over both Broken Throne and Reed Skol if I had.

[tlonista]

Blood and Blue Diamonds: Chapter 4 Notes

So this chapter was a bit of a research nightmare.

While the Kirammans aren’t based on any specific family in LA, there was no shortage of California land barons, but I went down sort of a rabbit hole with Tobias Kiramman being implicitly East Asian. There were significant social barriers to white women marrying Asian or Asian American men at this point, including potentially losing citizenship under some circumstances, but I’m going to appeal with a) they’re European and rich foreigners got away with stuff domestic Americans wouldn’t, b) the Kirammans established themselves before the worst anti-Asian sentiment took hold in the ‘10s and later, and c) this is several layers removed from absolutely anything that happens in the fic. Just know that I’m leaving this a little blank here and America was in a virulently xenophobic period where it did things like retroactively strip citizenship from Asian immigrants.

Caitlyn’s job was just irreconcilable. The LAPD actually hired the first American policewoman in 1910, but as far as I can tell policewomen in the mid-‘30s were still required to be at least thirty and married with degrees in something like sociology, they served in very specific fields of the department and didn’t carry weapons, and even if there was some way Cait’s parents could pull strings to get her in, that would fit poorly with the more important canon that they don’t want her to be a cop. I toyed with things like secretarial or dispatch work, but in the end she was more fun as a bored heiress who eavesdrops on police scanners (a fairly popular form of ‘30s entertainment!) while scheming to join the force.

Cait being interested in women, by contrast, isn’t too hard to work with. The city had well-known lesbian bars and male impersonator entertainers (which was mainly mapped onto lesbian, not transmasc, identity at that point) and in general ‘30s LA and Hollywood tacitly condoned homosexuality and bisexuality in a way that would stop abruptly after World War II. Like other AO3 Noir AU authors, including the writer of this fantastic Raymond Chandler pastiche for a fandom I’ve literally never heard of, I owe a debt to Gay LA for historical background.

And on top of that, I finally get to make sense of Viktor’s unbearably hot accent, whose canon logistics I’ve spent way too much time thinking about. My non-AU fics handwave around the possibility of a wherever-the-hell-he’s-from immigrant community in Zaun, but here he’s officially from the proto-Czech nation of Bohemia, then the major Czech immigrant enclave (known as Czech California) in Chicago, and finally the Midwestern migration movement to Southern California, spurred by incredibly cheap train fares and promises that Los Angeles was a giant orange grove where everybody got rich! Spoiler: they did not.

Swear to god I will stop talking about Harry Chandler, but a weird pointless detail is that he ended up in California for the exact kind of health reasons Viktor describes here, except that in his case he’d fucked up his lungs horribly by jumping into a pool of freezing starch on a dare at Dartmouth. Also instead of doing dangerous blood magic with an evil cube to get better, he just picked fruit for a while and then built a giant newspaper distribution network and took over Los Angeles.

[sadachmesarthim]

yes this is a rewrite, feel free to fry my ass on anon about it.

content: starker being mean to each other, peter parker has Supportive Friends™, tony has daddy and mommy issues, quentin beck is a Mean Boss™, smoking, secondhand smoke.

word count: 3.0k

square filled: coffee shop au  -> link to playlist here

part two is here!

a little vocab lesson before continuing: mobster = really high up in the chain of command for this group of coffee shops. they go around training new hirees, and often decide who gets to move up the line of command. they get to travel on company money, and are very well respected in the workplace. mobsters usually come in groups - siblings, hires from the same groups, etc. 

Tony didn't like Richland.

Sure, okay, it was a serious step up from Federal Way. He was free from his parents, he could do whatever he wanted in a house all to himself, no one knew who he was - it was a refreshing change, one he definitely needed now that he was graduated, all grown up.

He'd moved back east about two months ago. He'd wanted to get as far away from home as possible, stretch his legs - he went under the guise of missing his grandma, wanting to go to school. He wasn't a terrible liar, either. Howard and Maria'd eaten it up, encouraging him to go as soon as he could.

"If you go now, you could get there in time for summer classes. Maybe even get a job before they stop hiring seasonally. You never know, but you might as well try!"

So here he was. Still jobless, still not yet enrolled in school. Enjoying his time in the (now autumn) sunshine, biding his time before he ran out of money. He'd planned well - he had enough cash to keep him covered for a while, as long as he didn't go blowing it.

He'd blown it.

He was a sucker for good coffee, though, and he missed Outback. He'd worked at one back home for almost a year before he left, and now... now, it was like an itch he couldn't scratch - he needed the interaction, needed to go make friends. He was too much of a social butterfly.

Yet again, he found himself in his truck, on the way to the nearest stand. He was pathetic, really. Here he was, wasting more money on coffee, when he could be out hiking or climbing or... literally doing anything else.

He knew it was worth it the second he pulled in. The cutest kid was running lines that day - shorts hugging his tight ass deliciously, in a way Tony knew his operator would get in trouble for if a Mobster or Coach saw.  Christ, they lettin' just anyone work here now, that it?

He had to keep his thoughts to himself, though - the kid had just finished the cars in front of him, and was headed straight for Tony, iPad in hand. He took a breath, putting on his best poker face. He needed a fucking cigarette.

"Hey handsome! Welcome to Outback, what're we drinkin' today?" Shit, he's cute. All bright and cheery - it might be fake, sure, customer service voice and all - but boy, did he play the part well. All big eyes and wide smile. He looked up at Tony expectantly, right hand hovering over the screen of the runner iPad. Shit, he still has to order something.

"Hi, just a small iced white vanilla breve please." Tony watched as the kid pressed a few spaces on the tablet, shocked at how fluidly he moved. Tony'd never seen him at this location before, but he obviously knew what he was doing. Location transfer, maybe? Mobster? He wasn't sure.

"Perfect! I've got you in - anything else, love?" God, he was too much. There's no way this was just the sickly facade Outback enforced - no, this was all him. "Nah, I'm okay. I'm paying card today, too." He reached his hand out for the tablet, wanting to tip this kid specifically.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, this card reader's broken. The one up at the window's working though! My girl Maia'll be up there waiting for you!" He turned with a smile, skipping off to the next car.

Jesus, who was this kid? And what did Tony have to do to see him again?

•|||•

Return an application, apparently.

Maia, the girl at the window, had let him know that they were hiring. He didn't have to feign interest - he had relevant experience, could work his way up if he needed to - and he'd get to see the mystery boy again. She'd ran and grabbed a small stack of papers for him, which he dutifully filled out and brought back a couple of hours later.

The closing shift lead had briefly interviewed him, practically giving him the job on the spot. Apparently she'd met his sister on a Mob trip, before - it paid to have connections, but damn... someone in town already knew who he was. Oh well. Not a big deal. These were still new people, fresh faces - he could make a clean reputation for himself, a fresh start...

It was exactly what he needed. And if he needed to use a bit of his influence with his sister to get it... so be it.

•|||•

"Emma, please, just... don't be a dick when he calls you. I need this job, it'll be good for m-"

"Save it, Tony. I don't want your excuses. If I say I'll do it, will you leave me alone?" She was being unusually short with him. Fuck. She and Rhodey were fighting again.

"Yes, yes, anything. Thank you so much." He was met with a bored sigh.

"Whatever, dude. I'll put in a good word. Talk to you later." She hung up before he could say anything else. Whatever - it wasn't the worst conversation he'd had with his sister, but it left a lot to be desired.

They hadn't been doing well since she & Rhodey got together. It was on-again-off-again... and they were honestly both to blame. Neither one of them was good at commitment, and it showed.

It put strain on both of their relationships with Tony, and didn't do much to help keep him in Federal Way. He sought comfort in the isolation of a new town, but it didn't seem to be helping anything.

Leaving never did, but it was really all he knew how to do.

•|||•

Peter hadn’t been at Outback long, but he’d enjoyed every minute of it.

He’d gotten hired almost immediately after graduation, not wanting to waste a second of his summer not making money. It was a bit of a difficult transition - he wasn’t a big fan of Beck, his boss, and training was really overwhelming. But after he’d hit that twelve week mark... it’s like something just clicked.

He was a whiz on bar, he was making friends right and left. He and Maia’d even gone to get tattoos together a couple weeks ago during a flash sale. He was getting faster and faster at running cars, he knew almost all of his regular customers. He genuinely felt like part of the family.

That didn’t really change when Beck hired a new group, either. There weren’t too many of them, helping keep their group small. They’d been spending a bit of time in the stand here and there, going over the rules, the ins and outs of making coffee, taking their menu test.

The three he was introducing today seemed okay enough. He just barely caught the tail end of Beck's “congrats on becoming a full employee” monologue before the man set the fresh meat loose. Not that they could really go far - it was maybe a good spit's distance from corner to corner. But, if it helped them get their bearings...

He was pulled from his thoughts before they could take off too far. “Hey, Parker! Come say hi to the green beans!”

•|||•

The red haired girl was nice enough. They'd introduced themselves, exchanged snap usernames, gushed over Peter's tattoos, and bonded over the typical new job anxiety. He'd forged a sweet new friendship with Bri, and was hopeful she'd stick around. He'd seen people like her get chewed up and spit out in this industry, and he liked her.

The tall guy... was pretty boring, actually. He stayed on his phone for the majority of the introduction, opting to ignore Peter entirely. It was fine - he'd probably be gone by the end of the month. Not like they’d miss him - he barely passed his menu test, from what Peter’d overheard.

Then came Mr. Short, Dark, and Brooding - Tony, apparently - Peter remembered him from a few weeks ago. He’d given Peter a poorly concealed once-over, tried to take the runner iPad from right out of his hands... if he wasn’t so attractive, Peter’d pin him for a fuckboy.

Despite how much he looked like he’d wanted to back then, when given the opportunity, he didn’t really engage with Peter. He apparently wasn’t the type to keep eye contact, go in for a hug, make small talk. 0 for 2. Disappointing. Oh well. That’s fine - Peter was perfectly content as the only guy at this location (sans Beck, of couse). Too much testosterone didn’t foster a healthy working environment, and they all knew it.

The girls, especially. They all gushed over Peter - apparently being the token gay guy in the stand somehow made him exempt from the targetted harassment. Nearly every guy they’d hired had left within 9 months - coffee was definitely a female-dominated field.

Peter was excited to see how these two fared.

•|||•

The tall guy was gone within a week. Didn’t even leave notice, just up and stopped showing up to his shifts. Not that it was the end of the world - he was still in his probationary period, so he wasn’t even making tips. No sweat off Peter’s back.

Bri did really well, in comparison. Beck was unusually strict with her - lashing out during her initial first shifts, generally being a hardass. It was unnecessary, and everyone knew it - Peter often found himself having fridge or bathroom meetings with her to help calm her down. But she kept showing up, kept trying, and after a few weeks she was doing just as well as Peter and the rest of them.

Tony was even better. Peter’d heard through the grapevine that he’d worked at a different location when he was still in school. Why he had to go through training again was lost on Peter - Beck tended to be thorough when it came to these kinds of things, but Tony was arguably more experienced than some of Peter’s coworkers...

Apparently, it’s because he wasn’t one to play nice.

•|||•

It took them quite a while to work together. Peter’d found himself getting the shit end of the schedule, working 7-1s religiously. It was by far his least favorite shift - dealing with the morning and lunch rushes were nothing, if not exhausting. But he pushed through, and finally got a say in what he worked - a very comfortable 5 - close.

Tony seemed to fill the between-shift gap - 2-8 was his jam. He liked working later, but still getting home before dark. Apparently being a newbie meant drawing the short straw sometimes -

And the short straw just so happened to be barring with the twink from a few weeks ago.

He hadn’t been... avoiding him. Tony just... didn’t like the way he worked. Peter was flighty, always moving. It irked him... he was just so much, it made Tony’s head hurt. If he wasn’t so engaging he might actually piss Tony off - but he knew the kid had nothing but good intentions, and that made it bearable.

It didn’t translate to the bar, though.

It seemed nearly impossible for them to work well together. Tony’d been assigned the milk station for the last three hours of his shift - a long stretch, but nothing he hadn’t done before. Peter was on shots almost the entire time. Poor kid.

Tony’s sympathy ran dry when they actually began working. They were almost always on top of each other - Peter crowding his space and trying to do too much. It grated on Tony’s every nerve, made it difficult to function. Peter didn’t seem to notice at all - or if he did, he didn’t care.

It came to a head when Peter went for the fridge. 

It was a pretty well-known rule that the person on shots doesn’t reach for the fridge. Not only was it too far away from their position on machine, it requires them to go behind their bar partner, which is dangerous in a shop this small. Hot liquids, ice, sugar... they can cause spills, burns, falls... 

So of course this dumbass goes for the fridge. Opens the door. Grabs a can of cold brew with his bare hands before turning back around. 

And running into Tony face first. 

This would have been fine if it were literally anything other than a cold brew. This would have been fine if Tony wasn’t holding a fresh drink! But no - the universe lined things up just right, laid out the most well-planned disaster. 

As they made contact, Peter’s hands flew up in shock, dropping the very pressurized can. It exploded as it hit the concrete, spraying nitrogen and foam-y coffee all over them. This caused Tony to let go of the drink in his hand, coating both of their lower halves in hot, sticky milk. 

It was picturesque, the mess they made. 

Tony looked up at Peter in absolute shock. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Why were you in the fridge?!” 

“I was just trying to help! You were busy, I figured I could-” Tony cut him off before he filled the stand with more hot air. Not in the mood for his bullshit excuses. 

“I don’t care how busy you think I am - you ask before doing something outside of your station. Do you understand me?” The look in his eye was one Peter’d never seen before - it probably should have scared him, but frankly, it just made him angrier. 

“Who do you think you are to be giving me orders?” He was huffy, he could feel his cheeks burning red. He was an angry crier, and knew he was struggling to control his face. 

“My sister’s a Mobster. I think I know what I’m doing.” Oh. That explained it - his experience, his proficiency on bar... why he was such a dick. Peter’d never met a Mobster he liked, and if this guy was related to one... shit just made sense. 

•|||•

He spent the remaining few hours of Tony’s shift hiding in the back. They were better off separated, and neither complained. Tony could handle himself up front, and Peter was productive enough. He had chores to do, dishes to finish, the closing list to start... Getting an early start benefitted everyone. 

By the time 8 rolled around, the atmosphere in the stand had relaxed. They’d both had a chance to clean up, the girls on window had helped ease the tension with casual conversation. Bri had been running, and Peter spent plenty of time in the back with her, hushed enough to avoid the ears a few feet away. 

“I don’t see why he gets to walk all over us. You’ve been here longer, and the attitude isn’t necessary.” She was sitting on the edge of the sink, goldfish making their way to her mouth between words. “You know I don’t like him. I don’t see why you keep trying to be nice.”

Peter sighed. He knew she was right. “I just... I don’t want anyone here to feel left out, or like I did at the beginning. Beck can be mean... I want all of you to feel welcome.” It wasn’t a lie, either - he’d made a point to make everyone feel at home, to make this stand a family. Until Tony showed up, he’d been doing a great job. 

“I know buttercup. Just... don’t go bending over backward for someone that won’t even look you in the eye.” With that she hopped down, ready to clock out. 

Tony shuffled past them both, excited to do the same. Maia’d taken over the bar for him, alleviating him just before the four minute window was up. He didn’t even excuse himself, just inserting himself in their personal space without concern. 

Bri shot Peter a look before she left. Talk to him! 

He opted for bravery. He deserved an apology for Tony’s harsh words earlier today, and he was going to get it. 

He checked the cameras before walking back, making sure Maia wasn’t gonna wind up swamped if this took longer than necessary. Tony was collecting his things - he had to do this fast. 

“Hey, listen.” Tony looked up, unamused. “I know we didn’t exactly have a good shift, and yeah I’m partly to blame for that... but Beck doesn’t really vibe with hostility, and the girls...” 

Tony cut him off halfway through. “What, it makes them uncomfortable? They don’t like it when a man takes charge, has a little outburst? Sheesh, y’all really are a mess.” What the fuck?

“Okay, seriously. I tried to be nice. You owe me, and the rest of us, a serious apology for today, or I’m going to Quentin about it. It’s not that hard to say you’re sorry, Tony.” Good job Parker, firm boundaries. 

“I’m sorry? Sorry for what, doing my job? Fuck that, man. I’m out of here.” He opened the door and left, skipping past an oncoming car and heading toward his own. 

Peter followed him. It was stupid, sure - but he needed to assert himself here. This was his stand, his home - and he was damned if he was going to let some... some asshole trample all over his home like this.

He caught up to Tony quickly, stopping him before he could open the driver’s door. “Why are you such an asshole? The girls are obsessed with you, you clearly have a leg up against everyone else in your group. There’s no reason for you to be acting like this, dude. You’ve been here all of what, a month?” 

Tony took a long drag from his cigarette before answering. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. Now be a good little closer, and run inside. Finish your shift.” He exhaled the smoke into Peter’s face, getting into his car and driving away without another word. 

What a douchebag. 

[ladykissingfish]

Amusement Park/Carnivals with the Akatsuki

Hidan

Hidan won’t ever admit this, but most amusement park rides scare him to death. He doesn’t feel comfortable on any machine that he can’t control, and he’s been plagued with a profound fear of heights since he was a child. He covers up this fear and avoids rides by continuously saying how “boring” everything is; although he CAN handle on-the-ground things like bumper cars or lazy water-rafting rides. One time Kisame goaded him into riding The Giant Drop, and afterwards Hidan’s hands had to be forcibly pried off of the bar by three different people. Like Deidara, he’s a fan of the games and will avidly compete with the others (and sometimes strangers) to win the biggest prize/achieve the highest score. Also totally into anything horror-based (like a “haunted house” or “spooky maze”); not because he finds them scary but because he thinks it’s hilarious what they try to pass off as scary. Sometimes will hide behind things within these attractions and jump out to scare people himself, until he’s caught and made to leave by the workers. Ridiculously huge fan of popcorn and will have multiple bags throughout the course of the day.

Deidara

This guy LOVES rollercoasters. The more loops and twists the better, the faster the more awesome. He’ll stand in line as long as necessary to ride these speed demons over and over, grinning and shouting like a madman the whole time. He can be persuaded to go on the slower, tamer rides by his fellow Akatsuki members (like a Tilt-A-Whirl) but will groan and loudly complain about how lame they are. A big fan of the park fare, in particular anything on a stick and/or covered with melted cheese. Has to be reminded to time his snacking correctly and let his food digest so that he doesn’t end up puking during a coaster’s upside-down loop. Not really a fan of water-based rides because they mess up his Perfectly Straight™️ hair. Also likes to compete against Itachi and Hidan in games; Konan will always go home loaded down with stuffed animals because the three will go overboard trying to outdo each other. Deidara also has somewhat of a mean sense of humor; when boarding roller coasters, he always seeks out the ones who look like they’re about to crap their pants in fear. He’ll manage to put a low-grade explosive underneath their car, not strong enough to blow a hole on it but loud enough to make a noise as though something is very wrong with the coaster. The person will, of course, go into a full-blown panic; and Deidara will laugh himself silly over his “harmless” prank.

Kakuzu

Thinks that things like this are a horrible scam and waste of money ... as a customer. However, as with any possible business opportunity, he’s ready with the capital and the ideas for him to turn a buck. Likely he’ll keep it simple and open up a souvenir stand within the grounds; for some reason people are always willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money on poorly-made trinkets when they’re surrounded by smiling idiots and happy music. He’s willing to cut one or two of his fellow Akatsuki comrades into his action as cheap labor, but nobody wants to leave their fun to help the old grinch con people. At the end of the day, when his shop or stand or whatever he has is sold out of its wares/closed, he can possibly POSSIBLY be persuaded to go on one of the tamer rides (Konan will push for them all going on the Ferris wheel after dark because the lights make it look pretty).

Kisame

Has to be persuaded to go to things like this; he really isn’t comfortable in crowds because everybody (strangers) always stare at him. Once he finally breaks down and goes, however, he has such a good time that he doesn’t want to leave. Rides are a bit of a complication for him (because of his long legs) but he manages to make it work. He especially likes anything that goes out on a man-made river or water path. Kisame’s food of choice is seafood, which is quite hard to find at amusement parks; but sometimes he’ll luck out and find a stand that sells fish tacos. Used to like playing the games but was put off of them after one time when he did the ring-the-bell with the hammer thing, and ended up breaking the hammer. And the bell. And the stand that both things were on.

Tobi

Tobi is always down for spending a fun afternoon with the group, and he thinks amusement parks are great ... except for one teeny tiny thing: Tobi is absolutely terrified of “characters”. The people who walk around in colorful costumes scare the bejesus out of Tobi, which is pretty damn ironic, considering he wears a mask himself. In fact his own face gear has caused him trouble at places like this ... some characters see him walking around and assume he’s one of them, but when they approach him to see why he’s goofing off — Tobi runs in the other direction, screaming. Deidara usually has to chase him (and calm him) down, and placate the scaredy-cat by going on the kiddie rides with him. Yes, the kiddie-rides. Two grown men being shut into the Teacups or the Flying Dumbo ride or picking out horses on the carousel is always an amusing sight for all, none more so than Hidan who will conveniently show up in time to take pictures and use it as blackmail over Deidara’s head for the rest of his natural life. Tobi also really likes the sweetness of the food, and if no one’s keeping an eye on him, there’s a good chance he’ll OD on a mix of funnel cakes, churros and cotton candy.

Zetsu

Sadly for the carnivorous plant-man, nobody ever tells him when everybody is going to a place like this. It’s not because they don’t enjoy spending time with Zetsu, and it’s not because they’re trying to be mean, but — Zetsu has a problem with self-control. Like Tobi, if Zetsu sees something he wants to eat, then he has to have it, at all costs. Park days are supposed to be stress-free, and nobody feels like having to keep watch on Zetsu to make sure he isn’t getting ready to snatch a baby out of a stroller or lure a delicious-looking child away from his mother.

Sasori

As with most things in life that are fun, Sasori is simply not interested. However, he’ll be persuaded to join the others through the constant pushing ((whining)) of his younger partner Deidara, or the childlike Tobi. It’s hard to tell what Sasori finds enjoyable, because his expression NEVER CHANGES. The same calm, blank look stays on his face whether on 360 degree roller coaster or being jumped at by a blood-drenched ghoul in a haunted house. The only time anyone sees him crack a smile is when a kid runs past him, trips on his shoelaces and lands face-first on his own ice cream cone. Although it’s not immediately obvious, Sasori DOES really enjoy people-watching, and places such as these provide the ideal, eclectic set of humans for him to sit and observe.

Itachi

When it comes to amusement parks or carnivals, Itachi isn’t really much one for the rides. Or the people. What he IS into, is being with the others. Watching his teammates faces light up on the rides, hearing their delighted shrieks, or shoving decadent treats into their mouths like giddy children. It’s a feeling of normalcy, of blending into the crowd with no stress, no combat, no blood or death or destruction; just fun. Itachi IS very much into what passes for games at these places. As with most things he finds everything to be ridiculously easy, and enjoys teasing Deidara and Hidan about his wins. Something else he enjoys is going on the water-rides with Kisame, as the guy gets really, REALLY happy anytime he’s around water. However he also has to keep a close eye on him to make sure that he stays seated/buckled in to whatever contraption they’re on; there’s been quite a few times when the entire group has come close to being kicked out because Kisame can’t help jumping in the water and swimming, which is against the rules (AND a scary sight to the children who believe they’re being stalked by a giant shark). Like Tobi, Itachi is a fan of sweets (although far less compulsive about it) and will consume more candy-apples than is probably healthy.

Konan/Pein

As a God, Pein won’t deign to visit such a lowly attraction as an ‘amusement’ park. What’s amusing about a bunch of mortals spending their hard-earned money to ride poorly put together machines and eat unhealthy foods? However, he will send Konan in his stead, to keep an eye on the other members. Konan enjoys being out and walking around the fresh air and sunshine. Her favorite attraction by far is the fun house; she loves the moving floors, the trippy optical illusions, the odd music. The distorted mirrors especially tickle her fancy, and she’ll spend a long time moving back and forth and looking at the different shapes the mirror makes her body. No matter what anyone else is doing, if Konan announces she’s going to the fun house, literally everybody will drop their plans and go with her. Konan is somebody who projects an air of seriousness and maturity almost all the time, so the other Akatsuki members relish any situation where they can hear the beautiful, almost child-like sound of her laughter. Those who play games will also compete to win her the biggest stuffed animal, and she’s the only one who won’t get her hand slapped away if she reaches for one of the snacks the others buy for themselves.

[angelsswirl]

Vellichor

The One With Shit and The Fan

A.N. Yall are about to be very mad at me, but it must be read.

~•~

Oh and I know

And you know that we've been here before

I think I know how it should end

We got an audience calling us crazy

You feel like a white suburban mom.

The ones that hoot and howl over every little thing in preparation for company.

You feel like that, because that's exactly what you're doing right now.

Hooting and howling over every little thing in preparation for company.

"If you move a pillow to sit on the couch, what do you do with the pillow when you're done sitting on the couch? YOU PUT THE PILLOW BACK! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS?!"

You had finally managed to convince Jisoo to agree to a civilized dinner with Taylor's parents. It involved a lot of placating and a lot of sex.

So naturally, you had to make sure the house was spic and span, because you wouldn't be caught dead in a filthy home.

Luckily, your children had pulled their own weight and helped, you were now just doing the finishing touches, like putting throw pillows in their proper place and screwing the cap on the milk jug tighter.

You also made sure to keep an eye on Jisoo just in case she decided to booby trap the place. At this point you wouldnt put it pass her.

Ryland came bouncing into the kitchen excitedly, "What did you make for dinner tonight, mommy? You got my text about the Bae-Park's dietary restrictions right?"

Despite being the second oldest, Ryland still called you 'mommy' occasionally. Especially, when she was excited or wanted something.

"Yes. Suzy and Jackson are allergic to peanuts and Taylor won't eat anything with a face. We'll see how long that lasts because you're a carnivore like your mom. And I passed it along to Lia because she cooked." You fussed around the kitchen. Dusting and swatting at imaginary dust.

"But what if mama convinced Lia to poison Chaeyoung?!"

You rolled your eyes. Did your daughter really think her mother would do something like that? Or better question. Did she really think you would let her mother do something like that?

"Jisoo has been here all day and I have her phone. I talked with Lia about everyone's needs and she made something suitable for everyone. Everything is going to be okay. Calm down, baby."

Ryland pouted, "How do you know if Chaeyoung has any restrictions? I didn't text you about her."

"We dated, remember?"

"No. I wasn't there."

"...Everything is going to be okay. Now, get out of my kitchen and set the dining room table. You might have to bring some more chairs in from the garage."

Ryland nodded.

~•~

Jisoo stared at her wife with a partially unreadable expression on her face.

She had been tricked into this. Bribed, if you will. Maybe even conned.

Sure, she was more or less fine with Taylor dating her daughter, but she wasn't really fine with spending more than an hour in a room with one of the only other people on the planet who knows what her wife looks like naked.

Great.

Her wife looks great naked. And Park Chaeyoung knew that.

She was doing her best to hide her blatant jealousy and anger but Jisoo wasn't an oscar winning actress for a reason.

"Are you getting all primped up for me or for her?" It sort of just slipped out. You had been putting on makeup for the past hour and Jisoo couldn't help but wonder.

You had never rolled your eyes harder in your life, "I'm not about to start this with you."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Because you should know the answer by now."

"For me?"

You put the finishing touches on your dark tinted red lip. Smacking them dramatically, then placing the tube of lipstick back onto the vanity.

You turned toward Jisoo with a smirk, "Oh no. For me."

Jisoo could only watch you walk out the door and into the main living area of the house.

Jisoo would try to keep the snarkiness to a minimum. If only because she's sure if she doesn't she'll never get to see your great nakedness again.

~•~

Dinner, to everyone's surprise, isn't that awkward. Probably due to the fact that Taylor easily dominated the conversation, you're a bit preoccupied with fussing over Kaleb, and Jisoo has had a full glass of red wine.

"Tay tay! How did your parents react to you telling them Ryland was your mate? Did they throw a tantrum like mama did?" Peyton asked, her mischievous smile poorly hidden behind her glass of lemonade.

Sometimes, you think Peyton forgets she still lives with you unlike her older siblings and can most definitely still be grounded. You had to resort to your signature glare, but it did the trick as Peyton slumped into her chair, thoroughly frightened.

Taylor looked confused at the question. Peyton knew the answer. They're literally best friends. She was the first one she told.

"No. Mom just mumbled that it probably made sense and then I went to go play soccer."

Ryland smiled lovingly across the table at Taylor. Lia made a gagging sound.

You thanked whatever being was listening that Peyton's chaos energy hadn't prevailed. If you thought, Ryland was your demon child while you were pregnant with her, you surely hadn't seen anything yet.

"Okay, why don't all of you kids, go do whatever it is you do in the livingroom. Mom doesn't need you to see her scarf down an entire bottle of merlot in one gulp." You mumbled that last part under your breath.

Everyone but Lia left the table, happy to be excused.

You stared at her blankly.

"I'm 22."

You're not exactly sure why but your patience is wearing thin quickly.

"Did I ask how old you were?"

"No, ma'am. Excuse me." She bowed her head dramatically before grabbing Kaleb and scurrying from the table.

"Kids. So....interesting." Chaeyoung said in an attempt to break the silence.

"Yeah. I keep telling myself that my reward for not killing them are future grandchildren. Well, actually. I'm already terrified of whatever Peyton procreates."

Both Chaeyoung and Suzy laugh at your joke.

"So, how'd you two meet?" Jisoo asked inbetween sips of her wine. She wasn't even looking in Chaeyoung and Suzy's direction, if only because it was sort of hard to peer around you in their positions.

You tried to listen for answers, you really did, but your reasoning for the irritability comes to light. You're sweating and almost slumped over into Jisoo, but you somehow managed to keep yourself upright.

Jisoo and Chaeyoung's eyes snapped to you at the same time. And the last time you felt this much dread, was when you found out that Jisoo and Chaeyoung found out about each other.

It's almost like you see Chaeyoung's mouth move in slow motion. You will her not to say anything, just let you silently excuse yourself from the table and take your suppressants, but no. Things were never easy when it came to Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

Chaeyoung offhandedly mumbled "That's familiar." She doesn't really mean anything by it. You knew that, hell even Suzy knew that.

But you can see the glass in Jisoo's hand start to shake.

"What did you just say?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. I didn't mean anything by it, Jisoo. I swear."

"Chu...let it go." You do your best to calm her down with a light touch to her thigh.

"It's no big deal. It was stupid I shouldn't have said it."

"You fucking my wife isn't a big deal?"

"Jisoo! What the hell?" You stared at your alpha who seemed to be looking right through you to Chaeyoung. The pent up anger in her eyes was quite astonishing.

"What's your problem, Jisoo? It's been years and the only one who still fucking cares is you." Chaeyoung said with a shake of her head.

"My problem is you."

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, "I'm married with two beautiful kids. I don't want y/n and she doesn't want me. Grow up."

Chaeyoung gathered her belongings and gestured for her wife to follow her. Suzy did so reluctantly, she shot a glance of sympathy toward you but otherwise didn't say anything.

The family left, two confused children in tow.

You swallowed harshly, it was surprisingly easy to fight off your heat instincts considering you wanted very little to do with the person that's supposed to help you through that.

"Well. Congratulations."

Jisoo's brows furrowed, not in the least bit surprised when you dont elaborate.

You got up from the table without a word. You headed to the livingroom and poked your head in, "Peyton, do you mind cleaning up the table. You don't have to do the dishes, just put them in the sink. Thank you." Abigail and Ryland stared after you.

Peyton set about doing the task without any fan fare.

You then hurried into your bedroom. Wiping at your eyes and your makeup.

You knew Jisoo had followed you. Probably wanting an explanation about what you said.

"Why can't you just let it go? It's been twenty years. You said you were over it, but every time you're even slightly reminded you blow up. You know how sorry I am but it feels like I'm still being punished."

"You slept with her. You're mine and you slept with her." Jisoo looked at you like she didn't understand how you didn't get that.

"I'm yours now. I wasn't back then. Even if you imprinted on me I wasn't your mate. I wasn't even your girlfriend. I didn't cheat on you. Why does everything I did have to be some slight against you?"

Jisoo huffed, "You knew I loved you. You led me on you made me think that it was only me. That you were only going to choose me."

"What did I ever say to make you think that? Was marrying you not enough? Is being your mate not enough? Those three beautiful babies not enough?"

"We have four kids."

"Oh, hop off it. You know that's not what I meant."

Jisoo doesn't say anything further. She only stares at some point passed your head.

"Am I not enough for you, Jisoo? Because I don't know what else I can give you. I gave you my life, my love, my womb. But it's still not enough for you. What else do you want from me?!" You tried not to raise your voice too much, but it was sort of a hard feat to accomplish around your tears.

"To go back in time and not sleep with her. To say she never meant anything to you."

"Oh. You want the impossible." You nodded slowly, not agreeing in the slightest. But you got it now.

"Say it."

"You know I can't."

"Say it, y/n."

"We told each other that we would never lie to each other, and I'll be damned if I start now."

"...Then tell me to leave."

"Jisoo."

"I need to go, but I can't do it unless you tell me to."

You choked on a sob, "Fine. Go. Just know, if you walk out of that front door everything that I have said tonight, will be proven right."

That got Jisoo to hesitate. To rethink breifly. But the alpha is telling her to go before she does something she really regrets. So, she leaves. And the pain that encompasses her heart is nothing like she had ever felt in her life.

You heard the door slam shut and with it, Peyton walked into the room. You pretend that you dont see the tears in each other's eyes, "Mommy?" Her omega is calling out to yours, probably more than she realized.

She's technically a pup and she needs comfort, so even though you felt like curling up into a ball and dying you give it to her.

She practically falls into your lap and she sniffled. Your and Jisoo's bond isn't broken by any means, but even the children can tell there's something not quite right.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that, baby girl."

"Are you two going to be okay? I've never seen mama that mad before."

And that question coming from her daughter seemed to hurt the most, "I hope so, Pey. I hope so."

[imanes]

Pls tell us why you didn’t like the raven cycle I need to hear your good taste opinion bc I do not get the obsession for those poorly plotted books on this site

alkjgkj idk about my good taste opinion sometimes things fly above my head but hennyways as far as the raven cycle is concerned i had no idea it was big on the streets of tumblr dot hell until well after i tried to give it a go lol. i get why some people love it but also i don’t really get it... i feel like there are better works out there but my impression is that this book came into a lot of people’s lives during very formative years so when i see it through that lens i can get it. but as a YA fantasy i feel like there are so many places where this story could’ve been GOOD but chose to be mediocre instead in order to favour style over substance. anyways here’s the full breakdown of my thoughts on the 2 books i read in the raven cycle:

the writing style is flowery to the point of being dense and unreadable at times, and on top of that stiefvater cannot write a satisfying conclusion to her books like it picks up momentum to do absolutely nothing with it in the end which leads me to believe that the overall conclusion of the series is going to be poorly executed as well. i also do not particularly like how heavy-handed she tries to manipulate readers into feeling a certain way about characters. speaking of characters, she truly dropped the ball repeatedly once the side characters have done their job. after that, they do not exist anymore and i think it’s a shame, as well as a bad habit (case in point: that ghost guy)

the first book was ok, i mean i was expecting the “not like other girls” treatment for blue so i wasn’t taken by surprise, and i liked the strong friendship group element which is why i read it in its entirety despite not being totally convinced. i thought it showed potential if only stiefvater could get over 1. her undigestible purple prose and 2. her tendency to make her endings totally unclimactic.

then the dream thieves came and hmm... lmao. the literal embodiment of everything i disliked about the first book but on steroid. the grey man was such a boring non-starter wishy-washy attempt at a pseudo “nuanced” character, and stiefvater took pains to not use the word “gay” for whatshisface i forgot his name like the *eDgY* one which i think is a disservice to his arc. ronan? at that point my only interest in the story was to see how the group of friends would fare but assisting to its progressive disintegration was not particularly pleasant lol. also you know how that dumb storyline with gansey and blue is going to finish like absolutely zero tension! it’s like a cw show tbh and i don’t watch those so i sure as hell won’t read them either...

so yeah idk what’s up with the infatuation with this series. to be fair i’m not a huge fan of soft magic systems because more often than not they hint at an uneven plot where magic is used to patch the holes and a deus ex machina is a big no no in my book... honestly i was just not invested after book 2, it sapped me of all interest and made zero sense to me. like maggie stiefvater has good ideas! but the execution is lacking, the interesting bits got lost in a sea of nonsense and i cannot forgive confusing climaxes that fall completely flat on their face... so i’m never going to finish the series *peace sign*

[galenfm]

          ·ﾟ☀ i am already so tired of myself and i have class soon aGAIN ........ ugh well again , i am teddy , a she / her pronoun user and current mun to two muses in this delightful shining star of a group ! i now present galen , my newest gaming gf creation who just wants everyone to fucking include each other ! my preferred plotting method is via discord over at 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 !#6439 , i’ll make a plotting call there and i’ll reach out to everyone who likes this !

      *       read   all   about   galen sorenson ,   otherwise   affectionately  nicknamed   the champ.   the   twenty - one  year  old  gamer  and  blossoming  actress  is   widely   known   for   being   uninhibited,   magnanimous,   self - deprecating,   capricious   and   recently   made   headlines   when   they   allegedly   dropped a sponsor due to their support of autism speaks .   apparently   judas   claims   to   be   sitting   on   an   even   bigger  story   involving   them   -   whatever   the   truth   may   be,   i'm   sure   it   won't   stay   hidden   for   long.   &    a screaming laugh following a jumpscare waking the whole house , overthinking an interaction hours after it’s passed , a childhood spent begging to be read the ugly duckling and lingering on every word , neurodiversity stickers pasted all over a gaming pc. ◜   ⭒  ic:   alisha boe.   cis woman.   she / her.    

BIO : mohammed and karina sorenson have never been a conventional pair . to start , they meet when he , the biggest male model of the 80′s , is hired to walk for her winter collection , being one of europe’s top knitwear designers who never seems to go out of style . he’s eccentric and as magnetic as can be , she’s demure and has never said a word regarding anything but her work . they don’t make sense , but they’re married two years in secret before finally making their relationship known . mohammed , progressive and independent minded despite his traditional somali family , takes her last name and relocates to norway , where karina gives birth to a stunning baby girl that steals the hearts of the eu as the tabloids go crazy over her . 

elissa is nearly 18 when her mother has the news to shock a nation : she’s miraculously pregnant , once more , far enough along that she intends to keep the baby despite both her and mohammed being into their 40′s . karina , having named their first baby , gives the reigns over to mo for their second child , but isn’t too happy with his pick

galen literally translates to mad , to incorrect , she argues , elissa firmly on her side

it gives her a chance to choose her own path . it gives her something to make for herself , mohammed counters , and that ends that .

galen is born in olso and is every bit as precious as her sister , now old enough to even potentially be her mother . her parents , busy with their ventures but over the moon to have a new baby in the house , raise her for her first few years in a small norwegian town to shield her from the prying eyes of the public

mohammed is first to notice that she doesn’t respond to her name or seem interested in looking at him , keeping her focus on whatever toy catches her eye for the day . he and karina write it off when she doesn’t hit her talking milestones or hold crayons the way other toddlers do , or figure she’s just an introvert when her preschool teacher mentions she doesn’t enjoy playing with the other kids during free time

they can’t ignore it any longer when she hits grade school , instantly falling behind with the rigorous private school pace and eventually warranting a visit from the school psychologist . she remembers the worry that paints her parents weathered faces when , at six years old , she’s given a laundry list of diagnoses and recommended for “ alternate ” schooling

something about the way her teachers treat her , so broken and unworthy of respect , makes her shut down , regressing with any progress she had shown and really refusing to cooperate with most adults she comes by . elissa is a budding starlet taking weekends off from film roles to spend time with her little sister , knowing that behind the quiet dark eyes of the child who wouldn’t look at you was a bright mind teeming with unsaid thoughts

her parents go to all ends to hire her private tutors and special therapists , which help her keep up at grade level . she’s in middle school when her science teacher , noting galen’s aptitude on exams and incredible recall , says she may fare better in an american school , recommending one he knows will accept a prestigious line such as the sorensons . 

she moves to pennsylvania at 12 and the change is hard . she again regresses and suffers at the hands of her peers at the private catholic school she attends , her parents reaching a level of despair thinking they’ve failed their daughter , unable to get her the help she deserves despite their best attempts . galen , sick of being deemed the broken doll , seeks out an escape from the world to try and give her some reprieve from the constant pity she wishes she could express is only doing more harm than good

she likes makeup but sucks at it , enjoys art but can’t seem to draw for the life of her . she knows she’s tone deaf as all hell and doesn’t like sweating enough to be willing to dance . for once in her life , despite all the years of trying to ignore the well - meaning comments of those around her , galen starts to believe maybe there is something wrong about her .

it’s elissa’s celeb boyfriend who buys her an xbox for christmas , figuring the two could play it as a bonding experience . brimming with quiet gratitude , galen spends hours on the damn thing in between study sessions . tutors notice an improvement in focus , more motivation to work and get things done so she can finally hop back onto the console and escape into a fantasy .

she begs her parents to let her do homeschooling for her high school years , to which they agree and she thrives . she upgrades now to a gaming pc and plays through everything she can get her hands on . people on her teams don’t know her , and they don’t treat her any differently than anyone else , so before long she’s unlocking a bubblier side to herself that just feels content .

she records her playthroughs in silence ( she’s gaining confidence , but still shy , and god knows how the internet treats female gamers ) and uploads them to youtube under a stupid channel name with only a few hundred subscribers . noting the accuracy and speed with which galen destroys shooter games , someone suggests she try overwatch .

galen is hooked in an instant . she plays matches in between daily activities and quickly climbs ranks to becoming a force to be reckoned with in the competitive community . after finding a team where she feels particularly at - home , they launch to stardom due to their sweeping wins and incredible cohesion . galen becomes something of an overnight sensation , quiet and unassuming , and this recognition feels like the validation she’s been seeking for herself this whole time

she blossoms and cements her legacy as an overwatch competitive titan by the time she graduates , reaching grandmaster status and being known throughout the community for her strategy and technique . her youtube channel grows exponentially , and after realizing this is a viable future for herself , galen posts her playthroughs with her commentary and finds that people love what she does . she moves to new york in order to collaborate with other big gamers , and on her channel , she does a combination of horror games , overwatch trainings , and new release reviews and builds a following similar to markiplier or jackseptic eye , with a second vlog channel to document when she goes off to tournaments or simple things from her days

she’s 19 when her repeated wins get the attention of a massive gaming studio who invite her to come record some lines as an easter egg of sorts for her fans in a new game they’re developing . her work is met with rave reviews and suddenly game titans are nearly breaking down her door for more voice acting work . galen , who’s always felt like the ugly duckling compared to her sister’s perfect legacy , takes this opportunity to emulate her sister’s career , and nearly doubles over when a film studio approaches her with interest of casting her as a supporting role in a project of theirs . though she’s never pictured herself to be in front of a camera quite like that , with some coaching , galen nails it , and finds the high of acting catapults her from relative fame into newfound stardom .

she’s one of the newer members of the brat pack considering her youtube fame was more inconspicuous than her film work , though she still is adjusting to life in the limelight . she stays close to her roots and continues to post regularly to her channel and streams on twitch , collaborating with other increasingly big names to gain her more views . 

galen’s most notable push since rising to fame has been her advocacy for neurodiversity and recognition for how poorly people with learning disabilities are treated in society . she doesn’t go in detail with her diagnoses but she does make jokes about them on her stream in order to normalize their mentions . she recently dropped a sponsor for their support of autism speaks and donates a majority of her merch revenue and tournament winnings to advocacy causes . she’s proud of who she is and hopes the future can be shaped into what kids like her needed when they were growing up .

galen lives up to her father’s prediction this whole time and changes her channel’s name to galengaming , proud to tout the moniker that spurred her to create a path she wanted rather than be told who to be by the world around her . 

PERSONALITY : galen has an energy about her that is like the sun hidden behind a cloud . upon first impressions , she’s a bit more timorous and nervous as she gets her footing of wherever she may be , especially with some of the more public - eye type settings she’s been put in since sort of being sucked into the brat pack . she wants to make sure she’s acting appropriately for whatever the situation calls and may often seem tense or apprehensive .

once she’s loosened up or seen a familiar face she can latch onto , she blossoms into a ball of unfiltered energy . she loves humor and memes and can often be found competitively launching memes she’s found into her team’s group discord server . she’s witty and often makes herself the butt of her own jokes in order to lighten the mood , though she’ll be sure to clarify that she loves herself and only does so to keep herself humble lmao . 

her playthroughs are VERY stream of consciousness but its this lack of filter that seems to be her fans’ favorite thing about her , a willingness to say whatever unhinged thing she may be thinking followed by a shrieking scream after a jumpscare or a string of screeching expletives after missing a goal

she can perhaps sometimes be too unfiltered and unwittingly come across as harsh or blunt , though she’ll often realize this after the fact and feel incredibly remorseful . galen has a habit to overthink and will panic for the rest of the night if she fears she’s inadvertently offended you , but won’t apologize due to being too nervous to figure out exactly how to do so ssksksks

one of galen’s most notable qualities is her heart , her benevolence and empathy that lead her to want everyone to feel included regardless of how different they may be . though she tries to give everyone a chance , there’s a fair amount of people perhaps too materialistic for her to get along with , and her polite way to ignore them is simply keeping her distance and pretending to not know them

which . in her own way . comes across as shady sksksk “oh you know so and so ? ” omg no i dont haha who are they “ u literally met them last night ” hahaha no i didnt x

she can be prone to mood swings simply due to a sensitivity to her own feelings and a tendency to overthink . she’ll wonder why she feels weird and even if it’s just because she’s hungry she’ll assume it’s because she said “thanks you too” when the cashier told her to enjoy her meal and then she has to sulk and play animal crossing alone in the dark for an hour before she can come out and be chill again even tho she feels worse than when she started bc shes just HUNGRY ASKSKKS

she’s used to being infantilized so she tends to be sort of short tempered if people talk down to her . this is when the wit kicks in as she is really just tired of being treated poorly by people who don’t even know her and has decided she will refuse to take any more shit ! can be a bit snippy even without realizing it but if she’s close to you she’ll usually be like “ oh my god that was rude as fuck im so sorry ” and feel bad for 20 minutes even after you say its okay lmaoo

random blurbs : um DONT ask me who she plays in her overwatch tournaments bc im using opossum and wikipedia to figure shit out as i goes , but i know for sure she calls out a lot of misogyny in the gaming world on social media !

always has her switch with her i KNOW this for a fact

anime nerd ....... nobody call her out on it she will deny until she is blue in the face and then hum the one punch man intro in her streams as if hundreds of thousands of people arent witnesses LMAO

this is so stereotypical nerd but she hates the outdoors ! says the US is so dirty and stuffy she says scandanavia is the only place she’ll ever like to be outside , she slips into norwegian when she’s recording if she gets jumpscared so she doesnt get demonetized for over - swearing lmao

also speaks french because she picked it up from her mom ! her dad usually only spoke english or norwegian , so galen didn’t get to pick up on much somali or arabic but she def knows at least a few words here and there

she vlogs a good amount of her life but she’s kinda shy about talking about who she’s dating , will probably try to keep her romantic life to herself !

excited as all hell to get into acting but the super fame that’s coming with it kinda freaks her out . she knows it’s a trade off bc she loves the feeling it gives her but hates how people are now overstepping a lot of boundaries that they didn’t before when she was just a popular youtuber

inspos are juno from the iconic movie juno , toph beifong from atla , louis theroux YES THE DOCUMENTARY GUY LEAF ME AL ONE , & amy from booksmart !

[firebirdsdaughter]

…

… Okay, I swear to the gods, if I have to sit through more Izu-based manpain or whatever…

It’s not Fumiya at all, but I have to admit I heard the drama-saturated ‘Izu…’ in the trailer and just… 🙄

To be fair… I don’t think we got it that much in the actual show, but I think the last arc just… Sapped any sympathy I might’ve had. And let’s be real, the fact that the trailer is taunting me w/ what looks like Horobi and Fuwa w/in ten feet of each other means I will sit through it, I just…

I’ve driven this into the ground, so I see no point in going into detail here, but I just do not see the difference between this allegedly ‘new’ Izu and the ‘old’ one. None of her memories changed her, she was just ‘everything as master Aruto wishes’ right to the end. Trying to make ‘drama’ out of her being ‘different’ is immediately gonna have me rolling my eyes. Nothing was lost, get over yourself, show. Aruto didn’t suffer anymore consequences than Gai did. (actually no, no: I’m going to call myself on that. He did see someone he cared about, albeit in a kind problematic way, ‘die’ and blow up, that’s more consequences for just bad decision making than Gai got for active malice)

And I’m… I’m gonna say it.

I’m tired of Aruto and Izu.

Additionally, I just, personally, do not see the appeal. They were literally… One of the most boring relationships in the show to me. And they were like… Always together in show. Like, I know that he’s the mc and she’s the ‘main girl,’ but… Would it have killed the writers to let them fully develop bonds w/ other characters? Izu it esp bothers me bc it just fed into the ‘only exists to serve Aruto’ thing. I wanted to see her interact w/ Fuwa and Yua, get proper development via Jin and Horobi, kinda curious about her and Naki, just a bit. (it’s showing that I had more interest in Izu than Aruto, isn’t it…)

But no, she essentially only appeared hovering at Aruto’s elbow, ready to serve him, and it… Irritated me. They didn’t feel like a real relationship? Bc Aruto was just all ‘Izu’s so perfect, she’s such an angel just like a HumaGear should be!’ and Izu was all just ‘my life revolves around Aruto-shachou!’

Like, there were some sneezes towards more rounded relationships for them in the start, but at the end… They literally had no relationships w/ anyone but the… Kinda ‘huh’ one w/ each other. And that’s, like, a) not healthy, for either of them, esp for Izu, but for either of them, and b)… Really… Boring. For lack of a better word. I found both characters much more engaging (setting aside other stuff) when… They were interacting w/ other people. I want to see them (esp Izu) be allowed to have relationships w/ other people that they actually, like, are invested in.

Fuwa and Horobi are getting shot at by a jet. Jin’s getting the damn jet dropped on him while saving Fuwa (I might’ve said he deserved it in another conversation but I didn’t mean it like that). Naki’s having a wonderfully photogenic day while sitting in the rubble looking rather sad. Ikazuch might only have one scene in the whole movie. Yua’s fighting an army on her own. There’s plenty of other people in danger and getting hurt. I don’t think we need more of Aruto whining and moaning and raging and going nutty again bc something something Izu.

And even putting aside my issues w/ the way their relationship was presented, the fact that I can’t sympathise w/ melodrama about Izu ‘dying’ bc she’s exactly the same, nothing was lost… The ‘designated damsel’ is a really tired trope, imo. Again, the manpain. Why is Izu’s only function to stand around gazing lovingly at Aruto and then to ‘get hurt’ and make him ‘rage,’ as an anon I am still working on summarised it, pretty much. Like… I know people were throwing the ‘sexy leg lamp’ at Yua (which I disagree w/, I think she fared slightly better than that), but that same ask I’ve yet to post pointed out that, ultimately, Izu was the sexy leg lamp, and I was like ‘oh my gods, you’re right.’ She started out pretty well, but in the end, even her ‘contribution’ was… Adoring Aruto like she was programmed to do? But I’m digressing into details again.

My point is that, even setting aside all my other issues w/ how they were portrayed, the bare bones trope of ‘girl who literally is only there to be the ‘pure angel’ and then get hurt to upset the hero for drama’ is tired. And they already played that card, and really badly. Now, if I thought this was going to be Izu taking responsibility for her part in the incident that led to her getting blown up, or even Aruto learning to take responsibility (or, admittedly, just… Anyone recognising their responsibility in that incident, rather than trying to pretend it was all Horobi’s fault, bc that was a case of everyone having a piece of the fault), then I might be swayed… But I find it highly unlikely (admittedly, like I’ve said before, I consider Izu and Horobi the least responsible for what happened, they should never have been left alone together, he was volatile and she did not have the wherewithal to properly talk him off the ledge, someone w/ emotional maturity should have gotten in there).

So it’s like… A perfect storm. I know I’m preaching to a choir and calling water wet to be complaining about this kind of overused sexism in KR, but… W/ the addition of how poorly handled it was at the end of the show and the way both characters were treated… It just increases my frustration and annoyance tenfold.

I just… I really hope we’re not rehashing for… Oh, gods, for a third time. Bc this happened w/ Baby Jin, too. Bc you know, it’s the five year old’s fault the homicidal satellite that brainwashed his father gave him weapons. -_-

And the worst part is, bc Eden’s human, what do you wanna bet he’s gonna be getting away w/ it.

[livinwithhumans]

The Tell-Tale Heart of Clay Jensen

From its inception to its release, 13RW created quite a whirlwind in the media over allegations that it causes suicide and is insensitive to these issues. Now, at its end, it feels like 13RW has long said goodbye to those times and has embraced the blunt nature with which it discusses teen issues of suicide, abortion, drug abuse, sexual abuse and gun violence. I have always appreciated that the show took these issues head on and did not back down from a fight even when the media and parents were hell-bent on ruining its legacy. 

Season 4 of 13RW comes at a time where we’re all feeling slightly disconcerted and apprehensive of the future what with a deadly virus at large. I’m sure we all must be feeling trapped not only in our homes, but in our own idle and terrified minds with no room for escape, because there is nowhere to escape. Surprisingly enough that is exactly how Clay feels throughout this whole season. Basically, Season 4 has two goals: to mentally push Clay to the metaphorical cliff’s edge and to wrap all the complex and messy emotions in a 5 minute valedictorian speech. The former I was mildly intrigued to explore, the latter I was not impressed with. Let’s take a closer look at what the show has achieved or failed to achieve in its final season. 

Those who know Clay’s character well, know that he’s the sweet guy-next-door who just goes with the flow rarely stopping to question his sometimes irrational actions and poorly-made choices. Like, when he chose to point a gun at Bryce or when he chose to cover up Bryce’s murder. Having been in jail, becoming so involved with the deaths of 2 close friends (Jeff and Hannah) and covering up a murder, it was only a matter of time before he roller-coastered straight into the deep end. There’s only so much one person can take before they crash and burn. Quite literally in this season, because as we see Clay is haunted by dreams of a terrifying Monty, blood everywhere and Bryce. Even the lighting of this season is dark and monochromatic to reflect Clay’s weakened mental state. To be honest, Clay’s go-with-the-flow nature is the source of his mental distress, because for the past few seasons, he has just been coasting along with the other characters never stopping to think that maybe his friends are wrong and that he shouldn’t go along with the choices they’re making. Of course, at the same time, this quality is Clay’s core characteristic, because he is known for being a loyal friend even if being loyal means jeopardizing his own life and health. 

To put it simply, the Clay this season is a Clay that has lost all sense of purpose. If you’re thinking, what was his purpose anyway? Well, isn’t it obvious? Season 4 Clay has no one to take care of anymore: no Hannah, no Jeff, no Justin, no Skye, no Tyler, no Ani. He lost Hannah in season 1 where he realized he never did enough to care for her. That’s strike one. He loses Skye in Season 2 after they realize their relationship isn’t healthy, because Clay just wanted to stop her from committing suicide. Strike two. He finds Ani in Season 3 only to lose her in Season 4, because she’s already well-sorted and doesn’t need Clay’s help. That’s strike three. There seems to be a method to his pain where he keeps trying to help girls only to realize that he wasn’t helping them in the right way or that they never needed him. Imagine building up this pain of realizing that the one thing you want to do (care for others) is the one thing that you keep failing at. In fact, in season 4, in the lockdown episode, he questions whether he ever even helped Tyler get through his trauma. Clay’s conflict revolves around the fact that he believes that he was never capable of helping anyone and that makes him feel helpless. And it all starts with Hannah. So, in season 4, when he is left with no one to take care of, he struggles through his own emotionally turbulent journey to discover that before he can help others, he needs to help the most important person in his life: himself. It’s clear that throughout the seasons, Clay has been so involved in solving other people’s problems that he fails to solve his own. Which is why Season 4 had to be about Clay finally getting a chance to breathe and take care of himself. After all, if there is one thing this show has taught us, it is to take care of those around you. And that kind of caring starts only when you take care of yourself. Because, self-care is the essential ingredient in the recipe of life. 

Now, I have to admit: Though it was difficult for me to watch innocent and good Clay doing drugs, having sex, crashing cars, starting protests, burning a car, yelling at principals, and starting fights, it was necessary to have this character grow in this way. He had to venture out of his comfort zone and become crazy in order to realize what truly mattered to him and how to reach his fulfilled self. Of course, this kind of character arc is nothing new. We’ve seen it play out for centuries in popular texts, short stories and famous literature (Hamlet anyone?). In fact, one popular short story that comes to mind is Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Now, you might be wondering wait what? But, if you look closely, Clay’s spiral towards insanity closely charts that of the protagonist in Poe’s story. Let’s call him Joe. 

If you’re a reader of popular literature or have studied English literature, then you had to have encountered Poe’s famous short story, “The Tell-tale Heart.” It basically chronicles the living and breathing nature of guilt which can cause an individual to sabotage themselves. Literally, Joe plots and commits a carefully-planned murder only to have guilt rat him out. In the story, Joe has the police visit him after he commits the murder to investigate his house. After they find nothing, he invites them to stay a little longer and entertains them. He is so confident that he won’t be found that he continues to entertain them knowing that a dead body lies in his room. The guilt of knowing that he stopped someone’s heartbeat makes his heart beat louder and louder with guilt until he cannot take it anymore and he confesses to his crime. Why? Because guilt drives him up the wall and right back down to reveal the dead body parts stashed in his floorboard. Poe very smartly shows how after committing an ill-fated act, guilt leads you to second-guess yourself. Guilt throws suspicion over every small detail until the end result is that you sabotage yourself. And that’s exactly what happens to Clay. The resemblance between Clay’s story and Joe’s is uncanny. It’s almost like the writers of the show wrote Clay’s journey towards insanity with Poe’s story in mind. 

Fare warning: Tread with care, spoilers ahead.

Those who have watched the show know that the threatening phone calls, the graffiti (”Monty was framed”), the disabling of the security cameras and the senior camping trip prank was all dissociative-Clay’s doing. It’s a real mind-blowing scene when it hits Clay that he was the one sabotaging himself. The guilt of covering up Bryce’s murder was slowly killing him from the inside just like it was for Joe. It was like there was a part of Clay that did not want to stay quiet about the coverup and wanted the world to know what had happened exactly like Joe. Joe also could not take the fact that he got away with the murder and had to reveal his true colors. It’s something to think of that guilt can eat so much of your mind and soul that you become suspicious of everyone around you. Clay suspects almost every character (Winston, Diego, Charlie, Estella and even Tyler). His guilt actually turns out to be so murderous that it makes him do all sorts of crazy things that he would never do like start protests and yell at the principal. Now, 13 Reasons Why takes it a step further from Poe’s story by having Clay dissociate, so obviously there’s not too much damage control to do at the end (very convenient). Still, it is something to ponder on: that guilt is such a monstrous beast it can make one sabotage themselves. After all, there’s nothing more mentally and emotionally terrorizing than living with the fear of getting caught. Clay lives and sleeps (barely) with his guilt, never being able to escape it. And that’s why, it’s just easy to let it all out like Joe does at the end of the story. BUT, the major difference in 13RW is that Clay somehow finds a way to circumvent his guilt by justifying his choice of covering up a murder. By the end, he realizes that caring about his friends makes him who he is. With that logic, he comes to the conclusion that if he does something for his friends, then that is naturally right (even if that means killing someone and framing someone else for their murder, apparently). Look, it’s great that he finally understands who he is and what motivates him to behave in a certain way. Basically, losing himself helps him find his right and wrong. But, at the end of the day, morality has to be guided by more than your personal moral compass. It has to follow through with the laws set by society and killing and framing someone is just unjust and illegal no matter who those people are. You cannot justify your actions by saying that “they deserved to die” which, by the way, is what Jessica continues to do. I don’t know on what planet this kind of mentality is healthy, but I guess whatever planet that is, 13RW seems to exist on that sphere because it just ignores the injustice of what these characters chose to do. Yeah, all of them have to come to terms with their guilt, but they also have to realize that living a life carrying this secret is more burdensome than just coming out and saying it. I mean this kind of cover-up will never stop haunting them and they may never be able to move on from the past if they don’t let their guilt scream out from the rooftops. That’s where I think Poe’s story is the winner, because it realizes that you can’t let the guilt eat you up. Guilt exists for a reason so that those who commit crimes are eventually found out. Catharsis exists in letting the guilt shout from the rooftops. 

Unfortunately, though Clay exhibits all the signs of self-sabotage and guilt, he chooses not come out with the truth of his actions and those of his friend’s. According to Poe and me, the confession should have been the ultimate resolution to Clay’s arc. Clay shouldn’t have to suffer through the guilt in order to cover up for his friend’s mistakes. However, Clay’s suffering at the hands of his friends doesn’t matter, because the show chooses to neatly tie up the messy crimes and the horrible mistakes these characters committed in a 3 minute valedictorian speech. A speech which ultimately avows that love and acceptance is key to survival. Though that’s true, let’s be honest, it’s just an easy way to brush off the severity of Alex, Jessica, Ani, Clay, Justin, Charlie, Tyler and Zach‘s mistakes. If love and acceptance was key to survival, then we must put forth the question of whether Jessica, Clay and the rest of the characters have actually forgiven Bryce and Monty for their ill-deeds? Did they accept and understand Bryce when he needed to be? What’s lacking here is that though the characters might have accepted their mistakes in the last episode of the season, it still does not mean that they should not have to pay for their mistakes. Clearly, the show lets them get off easy, because even the police officers involved in the case cover up the truth about Bryce’s killer. Now, i’m going to sidestep here to say that I will acknowledge that the show does try to have the characters confess their guilt in a way so that there can be self-acceptance. Like, when Alex confesses to Winston in detail about why and how he killed Bryce. But, still: What message does this send to viewers? That if you have connections with powerful people you can get away with anything as long as you show regret and guilt for your actions? Regardless of whether or not it is a mistake or whether or not you are sorry for it, no crime should go unpunished and unconfessed. And I think the adults more than anyone have a huge hand in ensuring that the truth about Bryce’s murder never comes out. That being said, I’m not defending Bryce’s character in any way or saying that he was always a good person, but he was a human being regardless of the horrible crimes he committed. He does not deserve to have the truth of his murder hidden. The show seriously makes a huge mistake by having characters like Winston and the police officers decide whether or not they should let the truth of Bryce’s murder come out. 

Though it is the characters that covered up a serious crime, it’s the show that pulls off the biggest cover up of all: it attempts to dismiss its characters mistakes by excusing it as something that should just be understood and accepted rather than confessed. The show values understanding and acceptance over having the truth come out. Of course, understanding and acceptance of your guilt and your mistakes is a huge part of moving on, but confession is the final step to ensuring that these characters do not suffer a life filled with mental agony and despair. I know it seems that Clay’s journey into mental darkness was resolved with some therapy, understanding and self-reflection, we all know that covering up a murder is not a small crime and will eventually become unbearably taxing to the soul like it did for Joe. As Poe very neatly shows in his story, letting the truth come out about your past mistakes and crimes is the only road to living a mentally stable life filled with acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. After all, confession is not only good for the soul, but also for the mind. 

[theshinobiway]

I read your other two posts about shipping nejiten and why you dont. I think you make good arguments about how marrying neji would take away tenten's freedom but I was actually wondering about how you view the ship from the perspective of someone who is married? Sorry of that doesn't make sense. I mean like how compatible you think their personalities are if the story was written differently.

Hey there anon!

So this will be my third time addressing the pairing and not to say it's any fault of yours, but I hope it's the last.

I care most about what makes a character develop in a way that is meaningful and beneficial for the overarching story. This extends into the pairings I choose to ship. I've also never been a big shipper to begin with and I'm indifferent to most pairings from any show I watch.

I also am married. Personally, fictional ships or shipping wars do not interest me in the slightest. I'd rather focus on my own, real, interpersonal relationships.

To expand on why I don't like talking about this pairing in particular: it's because I have been openly harassed by fans of the pairing both on this blog and on a previous blog that I eventually closed because my inbox blew up with angry stans that, a few years ago, I was not mentally equipped to handle. I've responded to around two to three asks openly on the blog, but at this point I've deleted in the range of 10-12 messages that I did not see fit to dignify with a response.

I figure that most of these comments come from underage followers who are too immature to understand complexities of romantic relationships or are simply too disinterested in talking about the literature to have open discourse with. They just want to ship what they believe the characters are like, have headcanons, and ignore the evidence contrary. As an adult, I have to handle this with patience and understanding. I'm not about to rage on any anon follower because I don't know their age or personal circumstances. And frankly, a fictional pairing is not worth tearing someone down over–I speak from experience.

Now, on to answering your question in full:

When it comes to the narrative, there isn't a common thread (theme, motif, storyline, etc.) that ties Neji and Tenten together. They both have the goal to get stronger, (As is the theme of team Gai at large) but Neji's story is MOST closely tied to Hinata/The Hyuga, Lee, and Naruto (in that order.) All three of those characters are sufficient enough to spur Neji's growth in his own arc. Tenten's support as a teammate is also sufficient enough. They are good battle partners (combining long range and short range) but the same is also said for Tenten and Lee. There's nothing special here. Nothing that screams "chemistry" or that "stands out."

The reason people love pairings such as SnS, NaruSaku, NaruHina, Sasusaku, SaiIno, ShikaTema, etc. is because all of these pairings have two partners that can equally contribute to the other's growth. Neji and Tenten simply do not have this. Tenten adds nothing to Neji that he does not already have: her support already comes from multiple other people in his life that understand his situation better. Tenten is often shown having a more common thread with Lee: they are both ninja that came from no special background and are overcoming their own weaknesses to pave their own path. You might say Tenten could humanize Neji or humble him, but Naruto and Lee already do that. Neji's closest female relationship is with Hinata, and that's where we see him become softer and more patient. Hinata is the one that humanizes Neji the most, and it's because they also share a same arc: literally, the Hyuga clan arc. She has the emotional intelligence to reach Neji and the position to make him believe in the determination of the once-talentless. That's THEIR arc as siblings.

I would also like people to ask themselves what exactly Neji can offer Tenten. In the reverse, I strongly can affirm that Neji does NOTHING for Tenten. He can train with her? So can the rest of her team, and she does. He can encourage her? So can the rest of her team, and they do–far more than Neji. He can calm her down when Gai/Lee do their antics? Okay, but is being a walking pacifier really a great foundry for a relationship? (Also, as Tenten gets older, part of her personal development is finally accepting her own goofy side and joining in!) In fact, his relationship and subsequent would inhibit her stated goals and dreams.

Tenten flat out does not want to have a traditional, feminine lifestyle of getting married. And as a married person, it's not impossible to understand why! Relationships and marriages are HARD work! It's not sailing into the sunset with kids and a house! They require commitment and upkeep! Sacrifice! They are a huge stressor (even the best marriages!) and you must balance the feelings and dreams of another person when you are deciding your future and make personal sacrifices.

Tenten wants to follow her hobbies and her dream is one of self-determination. Marrying Neji means introducing a rigid, hierarchical clan structure for which Tenten has no experience/interest in and is ill-prepared to handle. Her blunt, insensitive attitude would not fare well in the formal atmosphere of Hyuga affairs–this isnt a shoujo of rich guy/average girl. This is a shounen. She'll be expected to raise children and retire/hiatus from her career. This expectation does not help her goals or dreams and effectively halts her personal development.

In fact, had this pairing actually happened, shippers might have been happy that their pairing "made it," but I have no doubt that people would have ALSO called Tenten yet ANOTHER victim of Kishi's 'housewife' troupe next to Sakura and Temari. Making her Neji's wife erases what little personal identity and development she had. Why would you want to put the ONE woman who pursued her career and goals in a relationship and erase that? Because they have an aesthetic? I surely hope you never then complain about the fates of Sakura or Temari, then!

And on that note, "fixing the writing" to where Tenten is an 'empowered working mom' does NOT address Tenten's personal desires. I see this most often discarded in favor of ANY of her ships.

Tenten's purpose in the story is to show a woman who branches out from the norm. I also seldom see a woman in any story who is as balanced and flawed as she is while still being lovable. Also, despite relegating the other kunoichi to housewife status, Kishi deliberately let Tenten be a single woman who is not criticized for her decision. Japan itself still has a traditional mindset in that regard, and seeing the other cast members treat Tenten as normal–not even commenting on her relationship status–is a quiet, but no less significant addition to the story. It normalizes career women in a traditional atmosphere.

Gag about her store aside, Tenten's shop isn't doing poorly because she's a bad businesswoman or a spinster. It's been clearly stated by Tenten herself that it's because they are in a time of peace. Again, a small but significant detail that gets overlooked in Tenten's story. As Boruto progresses and war seems to loom on the horizon, I have no doubt her shop may get more business soon.

Tenten and Neji have the making of good friends and comrades with some common ground, and it's for the betterment of both of them personally that they stayed that way throughout the series. Good relationships add to characters and stories–they don't take things away.

Hopefully this finally puts my full opinions on the matter to rest. Fandom can do whatever it wants, but I'd like to not see any more of the ridiculous "pairing war" nonsense pop up in my inbox. Nejiten has FAR better reasons to stay platonic than it ever will to become canon, even in a rewritten story where Neji lives. If you want a pairing with this aesthetic but actually have chemistry and a shared narrative, look at Ren/Nora of RWBY (which, coincidentally, is actually one of the few pairings I enjoy.)

Thanks for contributing to the blog!

[always-winter-baby]

feel free to add anything i missed, endgame haters.

This is a Wordpress post that I never posted about a Facebook post that I made last fall (2019) about how godawful Endgame was.

-------- I know I've been gone for a while and when I was here, I was writing about films I had watched. (Maybe I should start that.)

However, I am a HUGE fan of Marvel and their cinematic universe. I have the movies, the comics, the clothing, and far too much memorabilia to be considered a "casual" fan at this point. I've been reading comics for about twelve years and I started dedicating myself to the MCU around the end of Phase One.

That being said, it means everyone comes to me with their Marvel questions and everyone comes to me to see what I thought of each new film. And I don't give simple, "It was good. I really liked it," answers. I make complete strangers regret their own questions sometimes because I dive into the deep end immediately describing how they really pulled off the Mysterio "mind-bending" stuff fantastically, but how the story hinged really hard on Tony Stark when Peter in the comics stands on his own and Peter in the MCU should be able to as well.

I can give you speeches on the reason why Natasha's backstory would have been better established in The Winter Soldier than Age of Ultron or and how killing off Pietro in his first film did a disservice to Wanda's character, etc, etc. In the words of a person I passed by at work the other day, "I can talk the ears off a snake."

That's not the point of this post. That was just establishing that I am very dedicated and I Care deeply about these characters and this world.

That being said, when someone on Facebook not too long ago asked me to share my opinions on Avengers: Endgame, I asked him if he was really prepared for the novel I was going to spill on why I think that Endgame was a poorly written and directed film. He said his was. But his lack of any response to my novel was proof that he clearly was not.

However, for anyone else wondering, I copied that little book of a response and I'm posting it here. It's a little scrambled up (it was a facebook post so these things happen, okay?). I think it will still get the point across as to why I tell people that if I pulled the good parts of Endgame, I could make a really great thirty minute Avengers movie.

The post went as follows:

-Thor’s characterization was a three hour long fat joke. Thor had the most character growth out of anyone in Infinity War. His part was fantastic. Then they turned around and made everything about it completely idiotic. Thor has lived over a thousand years. He’s lost battles and lost countless, countless people before. Infinity War wasn’t the first time he made a mistake in battle that cost someone their life. He lost his entire family and almost all of friends and none of that turned him into lazy, sloppy, unshowered, fat Thor. I refuse to believe this time would magically break him. Character annihilation.

Banner has hated the Hulk for the entirety of Hulk’s existence. He’s talked about how exposed and vulnerable it makes him feel. He’s always been a quiet, shy, reclusive, and work-focused kind of guy. Now magically, he’s happy being Hulk 24/7, dabs, and takes selfies with kids? He’s hanging out in public as Hulk and drawing attention to himself? Sorry. Refuse to believe it. I know Professor Hulk is from the comics. It seems stupid and forced there too. I’m not of the opinion that just because something is found in comics that it’s necessarily a good thing. I’ve read plenty of bad comics as I’m sure any decent comic reader has.

-Tony isn’t awful. I actually think he’s done pretty well. No complaints.

-However, Pepper is awful. And it makes sense now that they’ve released the info that Gwyneth Paltrow just made up a lot of her own lines. She doesn’t know the character despite having played her for a decade. Pepper is always super cautious and she is constantly on Tony’s case about his heroic ventures, etc. Therefore, I find it incredibly hard to believe that she let him go without a fight after he “solved time travel.” I also find it absolutely impossible that she sits beside him as he’s dying and is peaceful enough to just tell Tony that he’s okay and he should rest. Per her character for the last decade, she should have been frantic. Of course it wouldn’t have been as sad and poetic an ending, but it would have been much more believable for the character.

-Clint. Meh. I can live with Clint, I think. I don’t love it or hate it. I am glad they reestablished his closeness with Natasha after AoU tried to erase it.

-Natasha. I actually like Natasha’s character in this one. Same as Tony, I think they wrote her without compromising her. Good for them. Even though I hate that they killed her off, I think that the final scene where she fights Clint is SO WELL DONE. (Except her father wasn’t named Ivan. Not even in the MCU. But whatever. Maybe Markus and McFeely know absolutely nothing about Russian names despite giving Natasha’s full name in CA:TWS. I’ll chalk it up to ignorance. Whatever.) HOWEVER, despite liking Natasha’s character and death scene, the death should not have happened. I don’t know if you’re a comic reader, but if you are, you know that the trip happens where you see the bad guy or a random person or whatever do a Bad Thing. Then later in the comic, when the Bad Thing comes into play again and there seems like absolutely no hope, the hero pulls out One Last Magic Trick. The hero manages to do what the previous person could not. And they Save the Day because they are the hero. And the hero is the one designed to give readers hope that we can overcome all odds, etc. It is literally the entire point of superhero stories to tell the stories that “realistic” books never could. We’ll come back to my complaint with Natasha’s death in a moment.

-Scott, Rhodey, Rocket, Carol were all fine. No complaints. But Okoye.

They made it out in promo that Okoye was going to have a much more significant part. She was barely in the thing. And I think it was a very missed opportunity. We saw T’Challa turn to dust. And we were told Shuri did (although, I would have paid much bigger money to see her alive and operating as The Black Panther. She’s assumed that mantle in the comics before so definitely not out of the realm of possibility.) I wanted them to show us what Wakanda would look like with half its population dusted and its ruler gone. Does M’Baku rule? What do Okoye and the Dora Milaje look like now without their King and who do they protect/defend? They had a great opportunity to show us how the world was faring after five years post-Snap, especially a place like Wakanda that rarely suffers any devastations due to their tech. Now without that protection, how are they handling the aftermath? Enormous missed opportunity.

-Steve. On my god. Where do I even start? Going into Endgame, Steve Rogers had the BEST story arc of anyone in the MCU. But here is where Marvel really shot themselves in the foot. They let the opinions of fans after Civil War severely alter their original plans for this film. (That’s a fact that’s been admitted by former Marvel employees. I didn’t make that up.). After Civil War came out, there were two strong opinions being voiced. 1) Fans who didn’t know the comics didn’t understand Sharon being there and didn’t like her quickly becoming Steve’s love interest. 2) Fans saw the always-present and ever-growing bond between Steve and Bucky and got bolder about their campaign that Steve and Bucky were a couple. Doesn’t matter if you’re for that or not. The fact of the matter is that the idea of them as a couple has A BIG FOLLOWING. I don’t think people were really pushing to see it become a real thing on screen or anything, but the execs at Marvel suddenly did this thing where they all quickly shouted “NO HOMO” really loudly and promptly dropped Bucky from as many scenes as possible. They admitted to creating distance between Steve and Bucky for this reason. And because Steve and Sharon didn’t get the reaction they wanted, they had Steve go back and get back with Peggy.

But let’s recap here and see if any of that makes sense for Steve Rogers.

—He and Bucky were “inseparable on both playground and battlefield.”

—He literally broke the law and went behind enemy lines against orders just in case he had even the slightest chance of finding and saving Bucky from a Hydra base. He didn’t even know if Bucky was still alive.

—He added Bucky to his elite team and they fought side by side until Bucky’s “death.” When Bucky “died,” Steve went from saying, “I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies” to saying, “I’m not going to stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured.”

—Years later, when he realized Bucky was still alive, he literally stopped mid-fight and dropped all defenses. Later in the same film (on the helicarrier), he refuses to even fight Bucky. He drops his shield and was going to very willingly let Bucky kill him rather than fight him.

— When the Accords become a thing, Steve defied his own friends and 117 countries to get Bucky to safety. And then continues defying them with Bucky at his side because he is determined that Bucky deserves due process and a lawyer and help, not imprisonment.

— He helps Bucky get somewhere safe to hide and recover and visits him there. (Russos said they even discussed showing that Steve and Bucky were in regular contact between CW and IW.)

—He fights the Battle of Wakanda with Bucky and then gets to see him disintegrate right in front of him. It’s built up to be a very big moment. Bucky collapses into nothingness and Steve sits there touching Bucky’s dust remnants and with tears in his eyes. “Oh, God.”

—Then, magically comes Endgame and Steve is in a support group for people lost in the Snap and he’s grieving over PEGGY??? HE NEVER EVEN WENT ON A DATE WITH PEGGY. NOT ONE DATE. He kissed her ONE TIME very briefly 75+ years ago! HOW CAN HE BE SO SURE THEY WERE SOULMATES?! This is just awful writing.

— Then when everyone is brought back through the portals, Steve doesn’t even look for Bucky to make sure he’s there. They fight far away from one another. They never acknowledge the other one. These men have literally looked at each other before thinking that would be the last face they ever saw and then at the Battle to End All Things, they don’t even glance around to see if the other is present.

— Steve literally barely says goodbye to Bucky. He fought and was willing to die for the man, but now he is in such a rush to get back to that one girl he kissed that one time that he forsakes the people he should care about. (Sebastian Stan says he questioned this to the Russos and was actually told to just imagine Steve and Bucky must have talked it over offscreen and Sebastian tried to fight it, but was shot down.)

— Steve jumps in a time machine and goes back to live with his supposed soulmate thus creating an alternate timeline.

I have a real problem with this. A man who has been selfless his entire life chose to go and be selfish for 75+ years instead of helping anyone. This man lives to fight injustices and we are supposed to forget that? In order to believe that he went back to a woman he didn’t know that well and who already had a husband/children. CA:TWS showed that she had lived a happy life. She told him she only regretted that he didn’t get to live his. She didn’t regret them not getting to spend theirs together. And he didn’t seem to either. He was actively moving forward with his life. Thus the reason for Sharon.

Anyway, his entire story arc which is based around him being partners with Bucky and him being selfless got absolutely destroyed when he went back in the time machine and just ran away from everything he had built.

Which seems more likely? That everything in the three Cap films and IW was wrong about his character? Or that Endgame just slapped a big “No Homo” sticker on the script and did whatever they could possibly do to make sure fans could not say that Steve and Bucky were a thing?

Furthermore, I have no problem with Sam becoming the next Cap. I have a big problem with them doing it if the reason was to further the sever the ties between Steve and Bucky.

-And the Russos said that Bucky couldn’t be Cap because his mind had been compromised and that he couldn’t be trusted with a weapon. Which means that Bucky’s whole recovery story was what? A lie? They established that Bucky was really a great guy and not a terrible terrorist. And they said Shuri fixed his mind. And we still can’t trust the guy with the shield?

So either Shuri failed dramatically even though we saw her talent and progress with him in Black Panther and IW, Bucky is now magically “too broken,” or the writers and directors are stupid.  Your call, I guess.

They literally foreshadowed Bucky!Cap in all three Cap films. Bucky handles the shield in ALL THREE FILMS. But now he can’t be trusted with a weapon? Now he’s dangerous? He literally fought the battle of Wakanda with knives and an assault rifle. The shield is a DEFENSE weapon. So this excuse is the flimsiest argument ever and says horrible things about putting trust/faith in people after they’ve been victims and recovered from trauma. Gross.

-At least they FINALLY got Scarlet Witch right. I’ve been waiting to see my favorite Avenger done right for years. No complaints here except it took them long enough.

-Let’s not even discuss how their time travel ideas and theories are a MESS. Plot holes everywhere. (Steve would have created a new time line by going back. Did he just magically put the aether back in Jane? Did he have to kick Red Skull’s ass again on Vormir because I can’t imagine he would just stand by idly. This stuff would take me too long to even add onto here.)

-But back to Natasha. If it’s a “soul for a soul,” then when Steve returned the soul stone, he should have gotten Natasha back. Apparently a lot of fans saw this plot hole because they asked the Russos about it and the response they seriously got was something to the idea of, “No, you can’t do that. It doesn’t work that way.” Which WHY NOT? (Apparently because of poor writing.)

-Also not bitter (yeah right) that Tony got this big deal send off and everyone forgot about Natasha half an hour after she died. Shouldn’t the big send off at the end have been for both of them?!?! Would that have been SO hard?!

-Should I even discuss the fact that for some stupid reason Steve goes back in time and the serum stops working? Why does he age? Thor establishes in AoU that he doesn’t think Steve is mortal. And Peggy says in CA:TFA that Steve’s cells regenerate at four times the rate of average human cells. So he should still be fairly young even if he went back to the 40s. He shouldn’t start to age like a regular human just because he time traveled. He didn’t travel back to before he got the serum. I literally said, “No,” angrily the second they showed the back of Steve when he was sitting on that bench at the end. The other people in the theater turned to look at me and I was already pissed as hell and the movie wasn’t even over yet.

-Nebula having to kill her last self just seemed sloppy and cliche. I wasn’t impressed. That character had been through hell.  She is the one who really turns the tides in in the Infinity Saga comics so for her to get such poor treatment in the film?  SHE should have been the one to kill Thanos.  I know what Thor said, but Nebula literally has a lifetime of torture to make up for and she would have gotten some small consolation in avenging the death of her sister. GUH.  THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY.  SHE DESERVED THIS.

-So we really just backtracked and retconned Gamora’s whole story like that, huh?  I’m sure James Gunn is thrilled. (I’m joking. I’d be annoyed to high heavens if I were him.) Gunn had literally written this character’s story arc and progression and the Russos and Markus/McFeely took over and then literally wrote the story equivalent of “and then they all died” with Gamora’s story.  Such a jerk move and I sincerely hope Gunn finds a way to make GotG Vol 3 work out really well despite this.

I’m sure there’s more I’m unhappy with, but you get my point. I had high hopes for this film and they did not deliver.

It’s been months and I am still so immensely disappointed in Endgame. I expected the people who had written such great films in the past to deliver with another great film and they did not.

It wasn’t a completely awful film though. I thought they did a really good job with Doctor Strange and Wanda (finally!). And I loved Steve lifting Mjölnir! Carol’s short hair made me hot and bothered.  So the film had a few perks. 

I have friends who liked the film until I started pointing out its flaws. Sorry, not sorry. I'm glad Marvel broke box office records, but I'm not going to lie to anyone and say it was with a great film.

They are ----- And look, I never posted it on my blog because the rant ends there mid sentence and was never completed, but I think it’s safe to say I’m not happy.  That great cinematic masterpiece is a mockery of good character arcs. Anyone is welcome to try, but I’m unlikely to change my mind.

ETA: Since writing this, I have found multiple things about Tony’s character that upset me too.