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fatiguing-thoughts · 4 years

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“Natural” - Chapter 5 - Embry Call x Reader

Bonfire

“(Y/N)!” Seth says excitedly from the log he was sitting on, jumping up to come over.

“Hey Seth.” I smile, hugging him as Embry took the cookies from my hand.

“Welcome back. We all missed you, especially Embry.” He elbows me in the side jokingly.

“You’re all Embry thought about, all the time.” Paul teases, nudging Embry before running further down the beach.

I look at Embry with a questioning look.

“We can hear each other’s thoughts in wolf form.” Jacob whispers to me.

I look at him, nodding in surprise, mouthing a “wow.”

“I missed you all. I’m so happy to be back.” I look around, seeing Leah sitting on the log.

“Hey, Leah. How are you?” I ask.

“Well, you know. Dealing with all these jackasses. The usual.” She smirks.

“Fair. Let’s hang out soon and catch up. I’m sure you need a girl’s day soon.” I smile.

“That could be fun, they drive me mad.” She nods, giving a soft smile.

Jacob looks at me surprised, flashing me a set of worried eyes.

I return the look with one of questioning, I’ve always been cool with Leah. She was great. Something to ask about later, noted.

Embry opens the container and begins taking cookies, then the rest of them devoured the cookies quicker than I thought possible. Embry himself put seven away before I finished my first one.

“Easy there, killer.” I joke.

From what I recognize to be Emily walks over with a tray of sandwiches and s’mores stuff, earning the hands from everyone grabbing something off the tray.

A tall man walks closely behind her, I assume this to be Sam.

“You must be (Y/N), I’m Sam.” He walks over, smiling at me and reaching his hand out for me to shake.

“Hi Sam, nice to meet you.” I smile back.

“It’s a pleasure to meet the girl that my pack speaks so fondly of.”

“Likewise, they all speak very highly of you.”

My mind suddenly raced back to a little over a year ago.

“(Y/N), I don’t want to be next. I don’t understand what happened to Embry… to Jake. I’m so scared.”

“Quil, I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

“Jake and Embry won’t talk to me anymore, they’re different.” His voice cracks over the phone.

I too noticed the difference in Jacob and Embry, less phone calls. Less texts. Less video chatting. But overall I still heard from them regularly. I don’t know why they would abandon Quil.

“What, where did all this come from?”

“Sam. Sam Uley.” His shaky voice speaks through the phone.

And suddenly it all made sense. It made sense why soon after that conversation, they seemed to resolve their issues-- without any further explanation to me.

I snap back to reality as Sam let go of my hand and I was met with a welcoming hug from Emily.

I hugged her back, feeling her sweet and caring nature through the embrace.

We pull apart and I’m met with the feeling of Embry’s hand on my lower back, lighting my senses on fire.

The sun was starting to set, so Jacob and Embry took over lighting the fire.

I took the opportunity to sit and talk with Leah,

“So, how’s La Push been treating you?” I ask.

“It’s been better. It’s been pretty tough.” She gives me a sad smile.

“I know, I’m sorry. I am. I’m really sorry for everything you’ve been going through.” Both of us turn our attention to Emily and Sam.

“Thanks. Everyone else seems to get annoyed by it.” She scoffs.

“What?” I turn to her with wide eyes, filled with shock.

She looks at me, disappointed in her face.

“Apparently it’s annoying that I’m mad about it because Sam can’t control it.” She shrugs, Seth sitting next to her placing a hand on her shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter if he can’t control it. Of course you’re mad-- you’re upset. You have every right to be. Is it Jacob?” I ask.

“Thanks, (Y/N). It’s nice to have someone rational around here. Of course it’s Jacob.” She scoffs.

“What a hypocrite.” I huff.

“Exactly.”

“I’m sorry, Leah. I can talk to him if you want, remind him he’s not far from your position at all.” I look over at Jacob, who can clearly hear me, eyeing me from the side.

“It’s fine, he can hear you now. He knows what you think.” She smirks.

“Well, now you have another girl here. It’s been a while since we talked but I hope we can be good friends.” I smile at her.

She nods, smiling a bit. Leah cared and I knew it. Though she was a woman of few words, her feelings were apparent in her actions, I knew she enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers. She was fun, but knew when to calm it down. She knew what she wanted, she knew her worth. Leah was stronger than most, I can’t imagine seeing someone I thought I would marry one day drop all feelings for me and end up proposing to my cousin. Let alone to have to see him every day, following his orders, and to have that mind link.

The more I thought, the more I thought about how she needs a friend. I felt for her. She deserved better, and I would help her find better.

Embry soon joined us, sitting on my other side and wrapping his arm around me.

“Hey guys.” He smiles.

“Hey.” Leah mumbles, in her slightly sour mood.

“Hey, Emrby.” Seth smiles.

“Does Sunday work? We can get food or something? Or hang out at my house? Give you a break from all this?” I offer.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” She smiles.

“Can I co-” Embry and Seth begin.

“Nope. Sorry.” I smile.

Embry pouts and Seth looks a bit disappointed, but I saw Leah’s appreciation in her eyes.

“We can all do something another day. Leah needs a break from testosterone. Em, you and I will be together the rest of the weekend, don’t forget.” I smile at him.

“You’re right.” He kissed my temple.

“Okay, it’s time for them to talk.” He whispers in my ear.

The elders sat around, explaining the legends from the beginning.

The story about the third wife was one that stuck with me since I was a child. What a courageous woman. It’s crazy to hear all of these stories again, now knowing that they were no longer legends-- but real history. I was mesmerized by Billy’s words just as much as I was over a decade ago.

Soon after, we returned to the light banter and roasting of marshmallows.

“So how was Texas, (Y/N)?” Seth asks excitedly.

“I hated it. I really did.” I laugh.

“Dang, I’m sorry. At least you’re back, though.” He smiles at me.

“I know, I’m so happy to be back with everyone.” I smile.

Embry pulls me closer into his side.

“I’m so happy to hold you again, I’m so happy you’re back.” He whispers into my ear, sending shivers up my spine.

I turn around and press a kiss to his cheek, smiling like an idiot as I pull away.

“Yuck!” Quil comes over, beginning to wrestle with Embry.

“Damn it, Quil.” Embry says, falling into the sand behind him.

I heard them rustling, Embry quickly overpowering Quil as they continued.

I look down at them, shaking my head and laughing to myself.

“My money’s on Quil.” I heard a voice belonging to none other than Jake.

“Oh, you’re on. Five bucks Quil taps out.” I scoff.

“You got it, chief.” He laughs.

“Em, don’t mess this up. I got money on this.” I chuckle.

“So, you and Leah are gonna be buddies?” He laughs.

“Listen, you guys are more alike than you think. Stop being a dick to her.” I scold.

“I’m not being a dick, I just don’t know what else to say. Try having your own pent up anger plus that in your mind almost every day.” He shakes his head.

“She can say the same thing, but she doesn’t. Just try to have some compassion.” I reason.

“Alright Dr. Phil, I’ll work on it.” He laughs.

“Ow! Jesus Embry chill!” We hear Quil exclaim from behind us.

“Hand it over, Jake.” I put my hand out as Jake pulls a five out of his pocket, handing it over.

“Damn it, Quil.” He mumbles.

I laugh as Embry joins my side once again, behaving kind of like a magnet.

The elders left the beach, off to do their own thing. Soon Sam and Emily followed. Leaving Embry, Jake, Paul, Jared, Quil, Leah, Seth and myself left at the beach.

“What should we do now, guys?” Seth asked.

“We can play games at my house.” I offer. “That sounds like fun.” Seth beams.

Everyone nods in agreement and we head back to my house in Forks.

I drove with my usual group, allowing everyone else to follow me back to my house.

I open my door and see my dad sitting on the couch, watching TV.

“Hey, dad.” I smile.

“What’s up, (Y/N)? Hello Embry, Quil, and Jake.” He smiles.

“The rest of them are coming, too. Game night.” I smile at him.

“Oh, cool. I haven’t seen everyone in a while. I’ll say hi but I’m gonna head to bed, I have work in the morning. Try not to be too loud.”

“Okay, you got it.”

“So, Embry.” My dad begins, walking over to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and leading him into the kitchen.

“Great.” I sigh, looking at Embry as he turns his head, eyes about to pop out of his skull.

Jacob and Quil look at me, eyes also widening and stifling their laughs.

I heard the rest of everyone talking outside the door, I swung it open to let them in.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” A chorus of voices ring through my ears.

“Hey, come on in. Take a seat.” I nod over to the couches behind me.

They all shuffle in, sitting around my living room. Jake turns the TV on and I grab the board games from my room, bringing them downstairs.

“Is he still in there?” I ask Quil.

“Yeah, it’s going well.” He laughs at me.

“Oh I forgot you can hear, fill me in.” I laugh.

“We can all hear.” Jared reminds me, smiling.

I shake my head, realizing how much of this I would have to get used to.

“Well, what game should we play?” Leah asks.

“I wish we could do monopoly, there’s just too many of us.” I shrug.

“We can do teams.” Seth offers up.

“That could work, it just might get intense.” I warn, smiling at the thought.

Embry walks back into the living room, my father walks up the stairs after bidding us all a goodnight.

“Welcome back.” I smile awkwardly.

His eyes never broke mine, seemingly of excitement but also nervousness.

“How was it?” I ask.

“It went well. Normal dad things, I think. We caught up on life, then he told me about how he feels about this happening.” He spoke lowly to me, trying to give the illusion of privacy.

Thankfully, everyone else talked amongst themselves, also being considerate to my feelings.

“What did he say about it?” I whisper.

“That he’s happy it’s me, he’s happy about it. Still gave me the stereotypical dad rundown though, even though he and I both know I don’t need it.” He smiled, kissing my temple once again.

“That’s great.” I smile, leaning into his side.

We split up the teams and prepared for blood.

Jared chose Paul, a dangerous combo. Leah and Seth paired up, Jake and Quil, leaving Embry and I as the last team. To say this was a competitive bunch was an understatement. There was a lot of discussion, a lot of yelling and frustration, cheating accusations, and cheating attempts. After about two hours, Leah won after building on every property she could, destroying everyone in her path.

“Ha.” She smirks. “Unreal.” Paul scoffs.

Everyone had their little disagreements, but thankfully no blood spilled. It was a great time.

At about midnight, we decided to call it a night.

I walk everyone out, but Embry stays behind once again as Paul’s phone began to ring.

“Hello?” He answers on the front porch.

“Why is Emily calling so late?” Jared asks.

“We’re coming.” Paul speaks into the phone, serious tone quickly taking over.

“What’s up?” Jared asks.

“Sam picked up on something, you and I are patrolling with him.” He nods at Jared.

“I’ll come, too.” Jacob decides.

“You guys are taking over later.” Paul looks at Seth and Leah.

“Embry, be ready. You’ll join them at 4 if we still don’t get anything or need your help.” Paul looks at him.

“Okay.” He looks Paul in the eye, nodding in agreement.

I look up at everyone, seeing how quickly things can change for them.

And then it hit me, that meant there was a vampire running around.

Fear instilled in my body, freezing me in my tracks.

“Don’t worry, bean. Nothing’s gonna happen to you.” Embry noticed my discomfort, trying to help me feel better.

“But I don’t want any of you to get hurt.” I say meekly.

“(Y/N), don’t worry. We got this, it’s what we’re made to do.” Jacob nudges me.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to us. Nothing’s gonna happen to you. You gotta see us in action one day.” Paul smiles.

“No, she doesn’t.” Embry says quickly.

“I mean, I feel in the dark. I kinda wanna see what goes on. Maybe not in action but...” I trail off.

“Maybe.” Embry looks down at me.

“Good luck.” I say to Paul and Jared before they took off into the woods.

Everyone parts ways, but Embry follows me up into my room until it’s his turn to patrol.

I lay in my bed, patting the spot next to me. Embry walks over and lays in the spot next to me, pulling me into his chest.

“Bean?”

“Yeah?”

“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right?”

“Of course. I know.” I inhale his scent, feeling serenity take over.

“I won’t let anyone touch you. Ever. I’m gonna be perfectly safe, we work as a pack. We’re much faster, stronger, and most vampires don’t know that we even exist. I want you to know, you’re safe.” He kisses my forehead.

“You do make me feel safe, Embry.” I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.

“Your heart is still racing.” He chuckles.

“I know, I still feel safe with you… I just worry about you. I need to know you’re safe. This feeling goes both ways.” My words barely above a whisper.

“I’ll show you, we can handle ourselves. Don’t worry about us.”

“I love you, Embry.”

“I love you, too (Y/N). Try to sleep tonight. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, and tomorrow I’ll check on you, or you can check on me.” He chuckles softly.

I nod into his chest.

His warm hands held me, one rubbed circles in my back and the other ran fingers through my hair. His warmth radiated, making me fall into a deep slumber.

__________________________

Word Count: 2559

I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII

#embry call #embry call x reader #embry call fanfiction #embry call imagine #jacob black #paul lahote #Jared Cameron #Quil Ateara #leah clearwater #seth clearwater #sam uley #brady fuller #collin littlesea #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #wolf pack #wolf pack x reader

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onthesandsofdreams · 5 years

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Springtime Blossoming

Fandom: ASoIaF Pairing: Sansa x Ned Dayne Rating: T Summary: Sansa Stark did not fall in love with Edric Dayne at first sight. Words: 1752 Notes: For the @asoiafrarepairs‘s ‘A Dream of Spring’ Event. Day 6: Spring.

Read @ AO3

Sansa Stark did not fall in love with Edric Dayne at first sight.

Of course not, Joffrey and Harry cured her of it. But Sansa is a romantic, she believes in love and marriage, in slow dances under the stars, in roses and chocolates, in gentle affectionate gestures. Sansa firmly believes in happily ever after. She’s just not found her match.

Arya, bless her heart, had actually tried to get her to date. “You’re never going to find anyone if you don’t try.”

Sansa had simply smiled sadly, but thanked her sister all the same.

One day, Arya began bringing her friends to their apartment. Amongst them, Edric Dayne. Edric - Ned - was incredibly polite and very helpful around the house whenever she needed some help. Sansa appreciated him, he was sweet.

And then, he and Arya were everywhere. Arya would organize an outing with her friends, and she would invite her, and only Ned would come, everyone else would cancel at the last minute. Sansa didn’t mind, she understood that life could throw curve balls at you. So, little by little, Sansa began to know Ned better.

Sansa could admit to a crush. Ned was handsome, tall and blond, with a slight tan to his skin, easy smile, deep blue eyes and they were always gentle. What Sansa thought she had found in Joffrey, she found in Ned. He was genuinely a good man. The fact that Arya of all people liked him spoke highly of him.

But Sansa wanted to be cautious, she didn’t want to be hurt again. Not in the same way Joffrey and Harry had hurt her. She could understand if they parted ways, if love faded and a split came, that she could deal. Needless cruelty and constant cheating, she did not want again.

“You should ask him out, you know?” Arya had told her once over dinner. “You two could be good together.”

Sansa had blushed and shook her head. “He’s your friend, I couldn’t.”

“He can handle himself, and you do like him, I’m not blind. I think you should consider at least one or two dates.” Then Arya’s face grew dark and solemn. “He’s not Joffrey or Harry,” she growled. “He’s actually good.”

Sansa smiled gently at her sister. “I know, he wouldn’t be your friend otherwise.”

“Damn right. But seriously, one date. And I’ll get off your hair.”

“I - I’ll consider it.”

Arya gave her such a sharp look then, “Good, because he could be good for you.”

Sansa did not ask Ned out quite yet. Instead, she let herself get to know him, be his friend first, she wanted to see if they could be something else for herself. And the more she knew him, the more she talked with him, Sansa could feel her infatuation grow.

“I remember watching you at the tourney King Robert threw,” Ned told her once. “Loras Tyrell gave you a rose.”

Sansa’s eyebrows had shot up in surprise. It was almost a lifetime ago! “You remember that?”

“Yeah, I was working with Beric Dondarrion then. I saw you, your dress was blue.”

Indeed, her dress had been blue. Pale blue to be precise, Sansa still held a photo of it somewhere. “I can’t believe you remember that! I can only remember the ugly parts. I did not see you.”

Ned gave her a sad smile. “No, you were at your father’s arm, I was quite far away.”

“Oh.”

And with that, Sansa’s whole world had opened. This man remembered her from the tourney, he remembered what she had worn. Years later. Joffrey never paid attention to what she wore, unless it was to make him happy. Harry was more interested in getting her off her clothes than any other thing.

Their friendship grew and with it, Sansa’s heart began to ache for Ned. Perhaps she should listen to Arya and ask him out. Perhaps she could be happy with him. Her decision was cemented during the Sevenmas season. Sansa and Arya were planning on heading North, back to Winterfell with their parents, Gendry was tagging along since Arya had decided to introduce him to their parents.

So they made a small dinner for their friends to exchange gifts. Sansa had gotten a new baking book from Hot Pie, a silver pendant in the shape of a rose from Margaery, and a new leather jacket from Daenerys. But the most surprising gift had come from Ned, he had gifted her two books, one of poetry and another of songs and their history.

“I know you like them,” Ned told her. “So I thought that, with your love for poetry, songs and history, you might enjoy them.”

Sansa is left speechless. Not many appreciate her love for songs, much less the romantic aspects of them, but here he is, Ned Dayne gifting her with two books that she will, without any doubt enjoy. She hugs him and kisses his cheek.

“Thank you, they’re perfect.” Sansa notices a slight blush to his face, but decides to let it go. She did just kiss his cheek, and Ned is not one to be boastful when it comes to romance.

“G-glad you like them.”

“I love them already.”

*****

Sansa spends her holiday thinking of Ned, her mother notices, because of course she does. “Your sister tells me you like a boy.” Leave it to Catelyn Stark to cut to the point.

“I do,” Sansa admits. “But I’m afraid.”

Catelyn nods. “I understand, but you can’t live your life in fear. Your sister wouldn’t approve if Edric were a bad man.”

Sansa sighs, tiredly. “I know. She was the one who saw through Joff quite quickly. And Harry too.”

“Then trust her on Edric’s character.” Catelyn smiles at her daughter, takes one of her hands in hers. “Go on a date, see where that takes you.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“You’re my daughter, your father’s too. Be a wolf my darling, be brave.”

That night, Sansa receives a text from Ned, it reads: I hope all is well, have a nice Sevenmas.

And Sansa makes up her mind then, she will ask Ned out. Whatever happens, will happen.

*****

Sansa loses her nerve when she sees Ned when they return. Arya sighs deeply, shakes her head and mutters, ‘idiot’. It takes her three tries to ask Ned out, but she finally manages it, she can feel the heat in her face and she’s stumbling over her words, like a teen asking a boy out for the first time.

But Ned. Wonderful, kind and gentle Ned smiles and his whole face softens, he shines with the same strength of the Dornish sun where he was born, and he accepts. “If you don’t mind, I know a great place I want to take you.”

Sansa doesn’t mind. “When and where, I’ll be ready.”

Ned shakes his head, “No, I’ll pick you up. Saturday at eight?”

“That is fine with me.”

Ned beams then. “Then, Sansa, I’ll see you on Saturday. Wear something casual.”

******

Sansa spends the rest of the week going over her wardrobe. Decides she hates everything and drags Arya shopping. Arya for once doesn’t complain, instead, helps her find the perfect dress. “I know where he’s taking you, you’ll be fine in dress and flats.”

So Sansa listens to her sister, she opts for a lavender dress with white flowers, a soft fluffy cardigan and flats. Spring might have come already, but there is still a chill in the air. Lets her hair loose for the most part, only two small braids holding it from the sides of her head. Her make-up is minimal in soft pink tones.

Sansa’s usual knot in her stomach before a date never comes, a testament to how comfortable she feels with Ned. So, when Ned arrives to pick her up, she walks towards him and kisses his cheek in greeting.

In the end, Sansa discovers that Ned is taking her to a new exhibit. It’s inside the Rhaena Targaryen’s Botanical Gardens. It’s a light show, Sansa loves it. All those beautiful lights, combined with the natural beauty of the flowers and plants, with the crystal ceiling and the stars shining, she feels like this is a magical moment.

At some point Sansa is brave enough to hold Ned’s hand. Ned smiles at her gently, gives her a squeeze and they talk. They talk about everything, and she is pleased at how easy it was to hold his hand, to switch from friendship into a relationship. Because she knew, she knew that she and Ned would go far.

After the light show, Ned takes her to a small bistro. The food is delicious, the company even better. They share a dessert and they go for a walk under the stars. The skies are dark and clear, filled to the brim with stars. Sansa shivers and Ned gallantly offers his jacket, she likes its smell. It smells like Ned, warm and comforting. And she wraps herself around Ned, he simply lets her, but a smile seems to have made itself permanent on his face.

At the end of the night, Sansa is reluctant to part with Ned. They stand at her door, simply unwilling to let go.

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” Ned asks, there’s no pressure in his voice, no demand is made.

“Of course you can,” Sansa answers. She wants to kiss him, to hold him and be held by him.

Ned presses his forehead against hers, softly caressing her cheek and Sansa holds his face in her hands. He’s so handsome, made all the more by his character. Ned leans forward, gently touching her lips with his own.

Their kiss is soft, gentle and full of something Sansa’s not quite ready to call love. But there is something there, she knows. She wonders if he can feel it too. They separate, but Sansa’s not willing to let go just yet, so she kisses him again, stronger this time and he returns the kiss and holds her head in his hands.

“Goodnight Sansa,” Ned whispers when they finally part. “Rest well.”

“You too,” Sansa’s voice is equally as soft. She watches him go, but her heart is thundering in her chest and she lifts a hand above it. It’s Spring and flowers are blooming, and Sansa can feel her heart begin to bloom too.

Sansa could love Edric Dayne, perhaps, she already does. And only hopes, that he can love her too.

(He does.)

#asoiafrarepairweek #asoiafrare #sansa x ned #Sansa Stark #edric dayne #sansa x edric #sansa & arya #sansa & catelyn #asoiaf fic #au: modern westeros

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quaalussy · 4 years

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Dreamboy Episode 6: Jupiter’s Lifeless Moons transcript

Hi! I was looking online to see if anyone had been doing Dreamboy transcripts and I saw that there was nothing after episode five, so I’ve started on the rest, episode six first. Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I’m dealing with lots of run on sentences here. Anyway I hope you enjoy, more transcripts to come (I’m gonna try to do all the bonus episodes and such). Also: if you’re looking to hire a transcriptionist for your podcast or anything else please feel free to shoot me a message, I’m always looking for work

Enjoy! If you’d rather have a pdf copy I’d be happy to send that to you too.

DANE

The dream is different this time. It starts in the dark like always, but this time I'm laying down. I’m curled up on something rough. I lift my head up. I feel like I'm moving. Oh my god, I’m inside the fish. I’m laying on its tongue. But it’s like it’s tongue is the whole bottom of the inside of the fish, and the inside of the fish is huge. It’s like the whole thing is hollow, and it has ridges like the inside of a throat. I stand up and look around. It’s daytime outside and the light is coming through the mouth and eyes like windows. I just stare at that ghostly daylight face, swaying slowly side to side as the fish swims. I have this sudden urge to look out, to look out of the mouth. So I walk to the front of the tongue. I walk right up to its giant jaws. The bones lay open just a little bit, and then they close and I feel the water come in, wash over my face, push my hair back. Outside I can see the tops of rocky spires, like underwater mountains or something, passing underneath us, and I want to see, I want to look but that means I have to lean my head out of its mouth, between its jaws. I think about it. Another intake of water blows my hair back.

[WATER RUSHES IN]

The mouth is exactly the height of my head, and I reach out and touch the bone jaw, and then I pull my hand back and wait. Nothing. Maybe the fish doesn’t know I’m in here. I reach out and touch the jaw again, but this time I leave my hand on it. Nothing. Just the rhythm of swimming. God, it feels so sharp. I swallow, and I lean my head out over the razor edge, and I look down into the water at the rocky spires passing underneath, but they aren’t spires, they’re not mountains, they’re buildings. The tops of tall skyscrapers all fuzzy and covered in moss and algae. It’s a whole city. It’s downtown Cleveland.

[SWOOSHING NOISES]

DANE

I wake up. The bright, late morning sun is coming through the windows of the guest bedroom, and my hand immediately goes to my dick, but it’s soft.

[SOFT MUSIC]

DANE

I get up and put on my wrinkled red shirt and slog my way to the zoo for work. On my way I text Luke, just a simple “hey, WYD”, but he doesn’t answer. He never responded to my goodnight text last night, either. Like, maybe he’s mad? About the cakes? I don’t know. I almost walk into traffic because I'm staring at the message thread. I stop at Settler’s Coffee, and I text him again. I say “I had another fish dream, they’re getting weirder.” I watch my phone intently as I cream and sugar my coffee. I use the simple syrup even though it’s hot coffee, just to have a hand free for my phone. But nothing. I get to work. Maybe he’s still asleep. He is pretty nocturnal. Work is stupid, we’re understaffed so I spend six and a half hours straight at the roller coaster podium. I stop saying that whole de-briefing room line about three hours in, and I text Luke a few more times, but he still doesn’t answer. And then I run out of things to text without feeling like a crazy creep. Now it’s a half an hour before close and I'm only just now getting a lunch break because Tammy Jammers, who usually watches the ride while I’m out on break, called out sick today. She said she had food poisoning, but I know she’s just hungover. Her last Instagram post was at three A.M. last night, and it was a picture, taken with a flash, of Taco Bell that she put on a plate. I go out to the main drag to get food like I always do, but the only food place still open is the hot dog stand, and I just can’t with those. They’re like the same temperature and texture as a human body so they make your mouth feel like it’s kissing someone you don’t like. Hot dog? Lukewarm dog more like. A breeze blows. [sighs] It’s getting colder, so I go back inside into the hall of history which is just this longstupid hallway

[OPERA ARIA IN BACKGROUND]

in the same building as the roller coaster. I have to walk through it every day when I go on lunchbreak, but I never actually stop because I only get thirty minutes for lunch break, and it takes twenty minutes just to get through the fucking food line, so I have to run through there, and it’s just like dusty plaques and old maps and stuff. There’s like a few old exhibits that don’t work. It’s, like, where grandparents go to hang out on hot days. Which you would think meant that they had more places to sit down, but.... I look down at my phone again. Nothing. There’s also this weird music playing, and it’s skipping like…. I look up and see a wall with the words “who's who” painted really big on the top of it, and underneath there’s like a bunch of buttons with flaps. I run my finger around one of the buttons and just like accidently the button pushes in and this voice recording starts to play. It’s Kritch!

ELI KRITCH

You love grapes and naps. Before your life here at the Pepper Heights Zoo, you were an animal pioneer for NASA and actually went into space! After that, you spent many years at an interstate sideshow in the Florida Panhandle doing a high society routine. To this day you still listen to opera to fall asleep. Which Pepper Heights animal friend are you?

DANE

The recording ends. I lift up the flap. It says “you are the chimpanzee, Madam Beauregard.” Great. That’s creepy. I look back down at my phone. Still nothing. It’s not that I like... it’s not that I like need to talk to him or anything, it’s just that, like, it’s just the not knowing is fucking awful. Like, just text me back! How hard is it to text somebody back? I look back at the wall. There’s an arrow pointing to a smaller button next to Madam Beauregard’s name, and it says “push button to hear your favorite aria”, but the music is stuck in which totally explains the skipping music. Jesus Christ, it’s probably an actual CD player behind this fucking wall with this place. I look at my phone. Fucking nothing. Earlier in the day, right after I asked if he was mad, I saw the little dots

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

You know, the little dots that mean somebody’s typing back. And I… I watched them, and then they disappeared and they never started again.

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

And ever since then my head has just been full of all the little voices that say all the little things..

VOICES [sung] Where is Luke?

Ughhh Jesus fuck, now they have music. That’s great.

VOICES [sung[

Where is Luke?

DANE

Yeah I don’t really care where he’s at. And why are there so many buttons in this exhibit? Like, there’s no way there’s this many animals that still live here. Like, most of the exhibits are shut down, these animals are probably dead.

VOICES [sung]

Losers

DANE

And the seven that are here are like not the kind of animals you want to push a button and hear about, right?

VOICES [sung]

Losers

DANE They’re like, retired circus freaks and movie animals that can’t work anymore.

VOICES [sung]

Losers, losers, losers

DANE

It’s like this whole place just attracts washed up showbiz animals.

VOICES

Just like you!

DANE

[sighs] Yeah thanks I connected that. I look down at my phone. Again. Nothing. Again. I don’t even know why I keep checking. I mean, I turn my vibration notifications on so I wouldn’t have to check but I still check. So I open up instagram to see if he’s posting there, but he’s not. It’s just the picture that he posted late last night. The one of the blue hand on his neck that we took in front of the tunnel. It’s already got like three thousand likes, Jesus Christ. I check my texts again. Why am I checking it, I'm holding it. So I open up Grindr. I check his profile. He’s not on. It says he hasn’t been on in hours. So I open up my texts again and I just look at it, I just LOOK. UGHH why won’t he text?!

VOICES

Cause he’d rather spend time with strange old men than talk to me.

DANE

It’s like they practice in there while I’m sleeping, Jesus. I look back up from my phone. Now I’m in front of some sort of ice age diorama, like, why? There’s a caveman standing over a wolf that he’s just killed, and there’s blood everywhere. And behind that, really small in a cave, there’s a woman and a child, waiting for him all terrified. But right next to the cave in the dark where you can’t see is another wolf, and nobody sees it. And then another face appears in the glass. I turn around. It’s Kritch. Or, like, Kritch’s face, on a TV, in an exhibit on the opposite wall. I walk over. He’s younger. It’s weird seeing young Kritch, I mean it’s like still my boss but, you know, smoother. It’s some sort of like special news piece from like twenty years ago.

KRITCH

Oh I certainly think the people over at Stonefall Labs can appreciate what we are doing over here. And for the record I do not believe that they are covering up any discoveries of alien life. That’s quite frankly preposterous. I can assure you they were in fact only only doing a geological survey of the moons of Jupiter, on contract from NASA, like they say. I just think they came up at the end of that, did more to make a big deal of it, we all have swings and misses sometimes, but I thought I’d take my own swing.

DANE

Boy, his smile hasn’t changed, that’s for sure. The video ends and there’s a black screen with a logo that says “The Zenarc Corporation”. I see my face in the screen.

[SWOOSHING NOISES/MUSIC]

DANE

It’s taken me a couple weeks of working here to piece it all together, but I do sort of know a little bit about what Kritch’s talking about in this video. See, in the late fifties the Stonefalls built this private research and development site called Stonefall Labs on the other side of the woods from the zoo. All sorts of things were developed there over the years, everything from, like, ketchup recipes and zip-ties to lots of darker things I’m sure we don’t know about. Like they famously patented the first answering machine, for example. It was as big as a room. It got sabotaged by this secret group of secretaries, though. Which is a cool story, but later. Anyway, because of some sort of technology that they had patented, they got a contract from NASA in the eighties to survey Jupiter’s moons to look for the possible presence of a specific isotope of helium called helium two. Now, scientists thought helium two was going to be like the rocket fuel of the future, it was going to revolutionize space exploration they thought. And this was all public knowledge there was even a little article in the paper, but nobody really cared. However, Stonefall labs found nothing. Zip. And at first they just said that there was problems with their equipment, but then weeks went by and then months and they said nothing. And they stayed quiet for so long that it started to attract attention, and people started to say maybe they in fact had found something a lot more interesting than helium deposits on the moons of Jupiter. Which, of course, that blew up like a house fire and pretty soon there was this huge conspiracy theory and speculation and a media frenzy. But at the same time while that was all going on, the young Elias Kritch had just taken over the helm of the Pepper Heights Zoo from his late father, Eddie. Despite the fact that another Kritch in charge of the zoo was like the last thing the Stonefalls wanted. But Eli was intent on leaving his mark, and he vowed to turn the zoo into a profitable enterprise, rather than just another suckling on the Stonefall money teet. So he said “I have an idea, how about a full on theatrical roller coaster experience called Jupiter’s Lifeless Moons”. The whole story inspired by the controversy. It was supposed to be this stepping stone into becoming a real amusement park, but he never made the money back. Like not even close. He put the zoo into permanent debt. The Stonefalls never let him live it down. And it only took a couple of years before the entire context was completely buried anyway. Pretty soon, nobody remembered anything at all about the Stonefall Lab’s Jovian lunar survey scandal, you know. But the ride stayed and here it is after all these years. The video starts to replay, Kritch starts talking again, and I start to walk away but I notice something I didn't see before: a rough disk with a hole in it hanging from a string around young Kritch’s neck. A disk with a hole in the middle… John Stonefall. What the…. I check my phone.

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Still nothing.

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Why can’t he just text back?

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Whatever.

LADY 1 [sung]

And could he really actually like me?

DANE

Yeah, probably not.

LADY 1 [sung]

Maybe I fucked it all up again

DANE

Probably.

LADY 1 [sung]

Maybe I’ll never know again

DANE

Whoa, that seems a little melodramatic

LADY 1 [sung]

Why do I even care?

DANE

You know, I don’t even care

LADY 1 [sung]

Do I even care?

DANE

No. I don’t think I even care.

LADY 2 [sung]

This is textbook patriarchal communication

MAN 1 [sung]

Maybe he’s not answering for a reason

DANE

I.. I know he’s mad at me for eating his cakes.

VOICES

Guilt!

DANE

Which, I did eat his cakes.

VOICES

Guilt!

DANE And lie to him

VOICES

Guilt! Guilt!

DANE

Ughhhhh

DANE [sung] Why do I feel guilty?

VOICES [sung]

Resentment

DANE [sung] I mean it’s not that big of a deal, Cora’s just a crazy lady.

VOICES [sung] Resentment

DANE [sung]

And the cakes were sent to the wrong house

LADY 2 [sung] I don’t know if that is true

DANE [sung] Why do I care? I don’t even like him at all

VOICES [sung] Where is Luke?

DANE Wanna know where he’s at? I’ll tell you where he’s at.

DANE [sung]

He’s off somewhere being young and stupid

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Haul him off, haul him off, haul him off!

DANE [sung]

He’s off somewhere not knowing what he wants

VOICES [sung] We just met

DANE

Yeah, we just met.

VOICES [sung]

We just met!

DANE [sung] He’s too laid back

LOW VOICES [sung] Too laid back

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Sleeps on the floor of an empty house

DANE [sung] I wish I could sleep on the floor in an empty house…. But I can’t!

DANE

Cause I have real responsibilities

DANE [sung]

Like he doesn’t do anything

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Do anything

DANE [sung]

Maybe he does and I just haven’t asked

VOICES [sung] Do anything, I didn’t do anything

DANE [sung] Maybe I’m the one

VOICES [sung] NOPE

DANE

Being a total dick

VOICES [sung] NOPE DANE Maybe I’m being a dick

VOICES [sung] I didn’t do anything

VOICE 1 [sung]

He’s just a narcissistic twink!

DANE Yeah

VOICE 1 [sung]

He’s just a narcissistic twink! DANE

Yeah

VOICES [sung]

A narcisistic, masochistic, fetishistic, sorta cryptic, dirty little selfish fucking twink! Who would rather be hit by strange old men than talk to me.

DANE Yeah, but I don’t care.

VOICES [sung] I don’t care!

DANE

I gotta get outta here. Where are the doors, where are the doors, I just need some air. I fall through the double doors, out onto the main drag. Oh, god….The air is cool, but it feels good. There’s, like, silence for a minute. At least in my head. I hear an age-guesser guessing his last customer somewhere.

[AGE GUESSER SPEAKING IN BACKGROUND]

DANE A smattering of laughing through the trees.

[LAUGHTER]

DANE

And I reach for my phone out of like instinct.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

But then I stop myself because this is stupid

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Like it's annoying that...

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke? DANE Like there’s some, some sort of..

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke? DANE

My body seems to have a question. Like a body question.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

That it keeps asking.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where…

DANE

My phone vibrates in my pocket! I pull it out. It’s a Grindr message. I open up the app. Oh, he’s cute. His message just says “hey”. It also says he’s only 200 feet away. I look up and look around. I don’t see anyone who looks like him. I look back at his profile. He’s playfully flexing his arm in his photo and making a goofy face, standing shirtless and soaking wet next to a pool in someone’s backyard somewhere, and his dark hair looks darker because it’s wet, and his underarm hair is pasted to his body in little black flames. His headline says Alex. I look at the time. I have twenty minutes. [sighs] Fuck it. “Hey”, I say. “What’s up”, he says. “On break”, I say. “Me too”, he says. “You work at the zoo?” “No, Stonefall Labs. I came to get a hot dog”. Wow, yuck, really? But I couldn't pass up the opportunity for a bad joke so I said “ah, you like weiners, huh”. Coy emoji.”LOL, yep”, he says. Then, “do you?”, and immediately he sends a picture of his dick. Whoa. Fuck, it’s huge. It’s thicker in the middle and curves really dramatically, and it’s so hard in the picture that it looks like a dead thing that’s swollen up on the side of a path. “Wow” I say, “I’d love to put that in my mouth some time.” Coy face. “You should”, he says, “how about now?” “Where”, I say. “Men’s bathroom by the Dippin’ Dots. No one’s ever in there. I’m by there now.” Fuck, my heart is racing. The zoo closes in half an hour, and there’s like nobody here, and he’s right, that bathroom is so out of the way that nobody uses it hardly. Even the Dippin’ Dots guy won’t be there cause he’s watching the rollercoaster for me right now. I look down at his message again. Then at the clock. Seventeen minutes left. My heart is getting quicker. [sighs] ”Okay”, I say “I’ll come now”. “I’ll be waiting inside”, he says. Okay. A few seconds later I’m cutting across the main thoroughfare. Walking quickly. The breeze is cool on my face. The stands are mostly all closed and the rides are shutting down. The few people that are out are all workers, all walking the same direction to the front gate. Their faces lit from underneath by their own phones. I come around the corner by the closed up Dippin’ Dots stand, and I stop. There it is. The squat, gray bathroom building with that rusty water fountain on the side that hasn’t worked for so long that an out of order sign is no longer required. I see the door of the men’s bathroom. It’s closed, but there’s an edge of seering white light all around the heavy metal door. Okay, okay okay okay okay. I walk up to it. I look around. Nobody. The whole building seems to have a low hum. I take a breath, and I open the door. There’s a loud metal creak as the door opens.

[CREAK]

DANE And the door catches on the concrete floor and doesn’t shut all the way. I kick it a couple times until it does.

[DOOR SHUTS]

DANE

The metal bangs ring and echo off the tile. Then I round a tiled wall into the bright restroom, and I see him, standing at the far left urinal, his back to me. He doesn’t look back or move, the cold white lights buzzing and flickering all around. I check the stall on the other side of the little room. It’s empty. It’s door off one of its hinges and hanging there like an open jaw. I walk up slowly to the far right urinal, side eyeing the guy. I keep a urinal between us. I get there and I start to undo my pants. The light directly above the urinals is buzzing, loud. I glance over at him, but he doesn’t look back at me or anything. He doesn’t talk or move or acknowledge me at all. Like, what the fuck? I mean it’s definitely him, and he’s standing away from the urinal so that I can see his dick but he’s just peeing. I look back at the wall, and then I look back over at him. He is handsome, though. He’s a few inches taller than me and muscular, in baggy Carhartt pants and a large dirty gray t-shirt. There’s paint on his elbows and grease on his arms. I look back straight ahead. Okay, now what? I start to panic. I try to pee, but I really don’t have to go. One more time, I look over. He’s done now, shaking his dick. God, even soft it’s big. But he’s still ignoring me. He’s still shaking it, like, way longer than he should. Okay, it starts to get bigger as he swings it around. And then he starts pulling on it, and I'm just standing there watching him out of the side of my eye, holding my own dick in my hand. God, it’s getting bigger and bigger and less floppy, and slowly his pulling turns into gripping and stroking, and it gets thicker and tighter until after about a minute it’s as thick as I saw in the pic earlier. God, it looks angry, and I'm watching his hand run the length of it back and forth, trying not to look like I'm looking, lost in the rhythm, when I hear it- a voice coming from everywhere at once. I look up at the side of his face, straight at it. The lights above flicker a little. It had to be his voice, but he’s still not looking at me. He’s just watching his hand move over his own dick. But as I'm looking at the side of his face I see his lips move, and I hear his voice again.

ALEX Come here. Get on your knees.

DANE I take a breath, I turn, and I walk up next to him. I can smell his cologne, and I kneel down in front of the urinals. The floor is hard and a little wet on my knees, and I try not to think about why. He turns, swinging his dick toward my face, and finally his eyes look down into mine. The light is buzzing and pulsing above him, his body’s like a silhouette, and then he reaches down and puts his fingers in my mouth. They smell like solvents and metal, and he feels around like he lost something in my teeth. And it doesn’t seem like this would be hot but, god, something about it really is. And then he opens my mouth wider with his fingers and takes them out and traces the wetness of my spit up my face, and then grabs my hair and slowly puts his dick in. Past my lips, and then past my tongue, gentle but also steady. I feel it hit the back of my throat and stop. He grabs my hair harder and looks down at my eyes. I don’t know how, but I sort of nod with my face and eyes and make a sort of “uh-huh” sound, and he smiles and puts more pressure in his thrust. And I feel my throat iris out like a dark, wet camera. And he slides all the way down, until my face is against his body. He just holds me against him, and he breathes. I feel the entire inside of my throat and head stretched over his dick. I feel it reaching down into my chest. I feel like a butterfly on a pin. His smell fills my nose. It’s a thick, sweaty smell- the smell of baseball and locker rooms and the back of the bus. He just looks down at me, and I look up at him, and the light buzzes.

[BATHROOM DOOR OPENS]

DANE

The metal bathroom door. He takes his dick out of my throat.

[DANE GAGS AND COUGHS]

DANE It almost makes me puke. I scramble to my feet and quickly get to the urinal. He turns and does the same. We both just stare at the wall in front of us, become strangers again. I hear someone round the tile wall behind us. I hear Alex zipping up his pants and flushing, quick. I do the same. I wipe the water from my eyes and I go to leave, but as I turn, I see the person who entered. It’s the Dippin’ Dots guy, Trey.

DANE [to TREY] Oh, hey man. Wait, you’re not still watching the ride...

TREY [laughs] Nah. I guess some little girl dropped her teddy bear on the track, so I closed it up early, but I left her number on the control console.

DANE

But you didn’t go get it?

TREY

Fuck no. I'm not climbing all those jank-ass ladders.

DANE [to listener] Alex brushes past Trey and heads out of the bathroom. Trey doesn’t even look at him. It’s funny what straight boys just can’t see in bathrooms. I watch Trey disappear into the slack jaw of the stall without even trying to close the door, and then I hear him start to pee.

[PEEING NOISES]

TREY

Later, dude!

DANE I get back to the roller coaster, it takes like twenty seconds. I go into the side door

[DOOR OPENING]

The door shuts behind me.

[DOOR SHUTTING]

And I take a breath. That was fucking intense. It all feels like it didn’t happen, but it just happened like a minute ago. I can still smell the dude on my face. Whoa [sighs]. All the colored lights and space music are gone, and the big overhead lights are on, but I know Trey’s dumb ass didn’t do any of the other closing duties. I walk up to my podium and I see the ride is switched into its standby mode, which means that both cars are nestled into the shuttle bay, and the power is off to the ride. In order to turn it all back on again, you need to put a special key in and turn the red lever, then you hear a big “kerchunk”, and the whole building sorta comes alive and the lights change and the music starts, but now it just looks like bad props and old paint in a bright warehouse, which is what it is. There’s the note Trey was talking about, though. It just says “little girl lost teddy on ride” and then a phone number. There’s not even a name. The keys are next to the note. I take them both and put them in my pocket.

[KEYS JANGLING, POCKET RUSTLING]

DANE I finish the rest of the closing duties: sweep and mop the floors, wipe the glass on the doors, wipe the coaster cars down, and when everything’s done, I go through the utility door into the underbelly of the ride to look for the damn teddy bear. Under the ride there are work lights, these bare bulbs hanging from scaffolding, but they definitely don’t work, so I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight. It smells like laser tag. You know, that... that special effects smoke that they use. Half the time when people drop something we find it in “The Net”, and we’re supposed to check “The Net” once a week but people never check it. Also, the net is so old that it has rips and tears and whole sections that have fallen down. It’s like the web of a giant spider that got bored and said “fuck it” and crawled away years ago. So, often things end up on the dusty floor, twenty or thirty feet below. I walk to a place where I can look up through the skeleton of the rollercoaster into the net by the big turn. That’s usually where people drop things, the big turn. No teddy bear. I point my phone light down onto the concrete floor below it. Nothing. Anything new down in this dusty world is immediately visible for its lack of gray dust fuzz. If it has color, it’s new. But I only see an endless field of small, linty shapes. Look, there’s one last place that things occasionally do end up. The moon platform. See, in the middle of the ride there’s this platform where the coaster stops, like full on stops, and this video plays. It’s supposed to be the surface of the moon that you land on, and it’s where you meet the alien that makes the name of the ride ironic, I guess. I’ve never actually ridden the ride so I don’t know, but, like, a rollercoaster with a video in the middle sounds like an awful idea. I’m standing at the base of the ladder to the platform, looking up. I give it a shake.

[LADDER RATTLING]

It’s so loose that it wobbles and buckles all the way up, moaning and creaking. I hear a screw fall somewhere in the dark.

[SCREW FALLS]

DANE

[sighs] I take a breath and start to climb.

[LADDER RATTLING]

DANE

I feel the swaying pull of my weight on the scaffolding. Jesus. More creaking. I just climb faster and faster, I just try not to look. Finally I get up to the top of the platform and pull myself up and dust myself off.

[DUSTING OFF]

DANE

I stand up and look around. The platform is decorated to look like the rocky surface of a moon. Foam rocks, gray paint, that kinda thing. Still no sign of a teddy bear, though. I start to look behind the foam rocks. Maybe it got thrown. But then I hear a sound, a huge “kerchunk”. The work lights go off, the colored lights come on, and space music starts. The building groans, and something huge and metal begins to slither below me. Fuck, someone’s turned on the ride! I scramble to find the ladder in the dark, but I can’t, and I hear the coaster rumbling in the walls, it’s getting closer. Fuck! I don’t know what happens if I’m up here when the coaster comes, so I try to find the ladder again, but one foot slips off the edge of the platform. Holy fuck, I like almost fall. Jesus it woulda killed me, it’s like thirty feet straight down. The roar’s getting louder and louder and louder, I pull my leg back and I scoot behind a foam rock just as the coaster rounds the corner.

[COASTER WHOOSHING]

DANE There’s a person in it. The coaster slows and stops, locks into place. The screen lights up and the video begins, and in the light of the video I see that the person is Kritch, sitting in the middle front seat of the coaster, watching the screen, his arms in front of him on the lap bar. The moonscape continues in the video, making it look like the surface of the moon goes on for miles, and then there’s like eery moon music playing. Well, then a green alien emerges from behind a rock in the video, and it gets closer to us cautiously, and then it starts to speak.

ALIEN IN VIDEO Greetings, earthlings aboard Shuttle 5. I’m a representative for the race of beings that has inhabited Moon 34 of the planet you call Jupiter for millions of years. Your civilization has remained unaware of our existence until this moment. We mean you no harm. We have no weapons, our technology is meager, but we know why you’ve come. The resource you seek is plentiful here, but its retrieval would destroy our home and lead to our certain demise, as we depend upon it for sustenance. We will restore your communications momentarily. However, we beg of you, do not disclose our existence to your superiors upon your return. You must report no helium two on Moon 34, the future of our species rests in your hands, earthlings of Shuttle 5. Good fortune and tidings to you.

DANE The video ends and the coaster comes unlocked and starts again.

[COASTER STARTING, ROLLING]

DANE

Kritch faces front, and I see him wipe his eyes. I must have stood up during the alien’s speech. I crouch back down and hide again quickly. Fuck, I hope he didn’t see me. I listen to the coaster disappear down another hill as the onboard computer says “malfunction, malfunction, returning to Jupiter base [unintelligible]. The roar fades. [sighs] I breathe out. Then I get up and start feeling around for the ladder. A few minutes later, I fall through the utility door back into the launch room, almost coughing from the fake smoke. What the fuck was Kritch doing riding a kid’s ride all by himself in the middle of the fucking night? [sighs] What a weirdo. I hear the coaster make the last of the big turns. I just wanna get out of here, so I slip out quickly the way that the kids come out, through the debriefing room. The debriefing room is just a room with two big light-up buttons under a sign that says “MISSION REPORT”. I stop. The buttons… The buttons. I’ve never really understood them before now. There’s a red one and a green one, and the red button says “no helium present on moon” and the green button says “helium present on moon”, but it’s the green button that’s worn so much that it’s barely legible. I get closer. The glow of green gets brighter on my face. I don’t understand, the kids rat out the alien? That’s fucked up. I reach out and touch the green button. It’s rough from years of well-behaved, terrified children. But then, and I don't know why really, I reach over and press the red button. It blinks three times.

KRITCH

Good choice.

DANE [to listener]

It’s Kritch. I didn’t hear him slip in.

DANE [to Kritch]

Oh, um, I was... I was just uh leaving.

KRITCH It’s okay.

DANE [to listener]

He walks up beside me and looks at the buttons.

KRITCH

It is curious.

DANE [to Kritch]

What’s curious?

KRITCH Well, I didn’t expect it either but it’s true. All the kids push the green button.

DANE [to listener]

He’s not looking at me. He’s staring at the green button, his fingers running over that same rough patch.

KRITCH They tell the truth because they know they’re supposed to or they will get in trouble. But the grown-ups? They choose red.

DANE [to listener]

He looks over at the red button. His hand drops and his smile flattens.

KRITCH Because they know the truth about trouble.

DANE [to Kritch]

What’s the truth about trouble?

DANE [to listener]

He turns towards me. I can see that his eyes are still wet, and his suit is, like, way too shiny, and it’s reflecting the red and green lights. He takes a step towards me.

KRITCH That you’re always in trouble.

DANE [to listener] And then leans down until his face is like right over mine.

KRITCH And sometimes a little lie can really help with how much.

DANE [to listener]

The zoo is deserted. It’s after close now. All the lights on all the rides are out. Kritch said he would close up the ride and that I could go, so I started to head for the gate. I haven’t checked my phone in a while, but just as I'm reaching for it I hear something.

[ANIMAL CRYING]

DANE

A crying sound. Zoe. I stop. Something is different about the sound this time.

[ANIMAL CRYING]

DANE

I turn around and walk slowly along the side of the huge building that houses both the rollercoaster and Zoe’s enclosure. The sound usually sounds like it’s far away, like in a cave, but this time it sounds very close. I round the corner and there she is, only like fifteen feet from me, in a small cement stall with an iron gate around it standing over a drain. She yelps when she sees me.

[ZOE YELPS]

DANE I scream a little bit and turn to run around the corner, and boom! I almost run into someone.

DANE [to person]

Oh I'm sorry I…

DANE [to listener]

it’s Jennifer.

JENNIFER Did you miss me?

DANE [to Jennifer]

Fuck. I should have known I'd see you. Wherever there’s shadows and secrets there you are a sneakin’.

JENNIFER Look who’s talking. You’re the sneak tonight. Sneak.

DANE [to Jennifer] What are you even doing here?

JENNIFER What are you even doing here?

DANE [to Jennifer] I’m at my job. It’s a thing grown-ups do.

JENNIFER Pssh. Grown-up? Nice shirt. I’m here for the rally, stupid.

DANE [to listener]

She holds up a flier to my face, like a brat. I recognize it from Emily’s porch yesterday. It says “save Zoe rally at the zoo”. Fuck, that’s today? I don’t even know the date. I look back down at her stupid face.

DANE [to Jennifer]

You know what? You oughta go back and say hi to your little friend Zoe, stick your face through that gate and see if she’ll kiss ya’.

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer looks at me with almost pity, and then she starts laughing.

JENNIFER [laughing]

DANE [to Jennifer]

What’s so funny?

JENNIFER

[laughing] Oh, Zoe can’t hurt me.

DANE [to Jennifer]

Why not?

DANE [to listener]

She steps closer to me. She’s holding a piece of cardboard with “SAVE ZOE” written on it.

JENNIFER Because Zoe the zebra is dead.

[THEME MUSIC]

ELLIE HAYMEN Dreamboy is co-created by Dane Terry and Ellie Haymen. Developed and directed by Ellie Haymen. Written, composed, and performed by Dane Terry, featuring Cecil Baldwin, Avery Draut, Michael St. Peter, Jake Sellers and Chris Weingarten. Sound Designed, Engineered, Mixed and Mastered by Christopher Weingarten at Bananappeal Studio. Edited by Alexander Charles Adams. Creative Producer and Assistant Director: Ashlin Hatch. Associate producer: Adam Cecil. Executive Producer: Christy Gressman. A very special thanks to Night Vale Presents. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram @dreamboypodcast. For more info and for merch check out dreamboypodcast.com.

#dreamboy #dreamboy podcast #night vale presents #do i have to put a disclaimer? idk how these things work. this isn't my podcast i'm just a fan

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ravenclawbaz · 6 years

Text

Guitar Hero Is Gay

big thanks to @mintaero and @neck-mole for being beautiful betas!

read on ao3

BAZ

Tonight was supposed to be relaxing. I got home from work, took a well-deserved shower, and ordered from my favorite takeout place.

I’m on the couch with my food, my feet propped up on the coffee table, and about to press play on Teen Wolf when my phone vibrates next to me. I expect it to be Fiona checking in and letting me know she won’t be home tonight, as usual. But it’s not Fiona. Of all people who could be texting me at nearly 12 am on a Friday night, it’s Simon bloody Snow. Snow: heyyy pen is it too late for that ride???? if it is i hope u made it home safe :DD

Pen? Ah, he must’ve been trying to text Bunce. Shame that Snow only texts me when it’s on accident. Not like we’re best friends or anything, I cocked that chance up at the beginning of the term. Apparently spilling silver nitrate all over someone’s arm is an not effective way to make a friend. I’ve overheard him telling Penny that him and I are ‘arch enemies’ because of it.

It only stained for a week at most, he’s just dramatic. Me: wrong person, snow. pretty sure that was meant for bunce. Leave it to Snow to fuck up my plans. This night was for rest and relaxation, two very foreign concepts to me, and now it’s turning into a night for Snow and complicated feelings. My phone buzzes a few times in quick succession; double texter. Snow: wish you wouldn’t call me snow :,( Snow: tellpen to come pick me up she knows where Snow: asap, pitch Snow: actually don’t she’s in no state to b driving I groan and shut off the telly, throwing aside my plans for good, and text Snow back while I put my untouched takeout in the fridge. I wasn’t that hungry anyway. Me: are you drunk? can’t you just take a cab home? The response is almost immediate. Snow: a cab? do i look like i want to get kidnapped??? Snow: do u WANT me to get kidnapped??? Slipping on my shoes and grabbing my keys from the bowl next to the front door, I head out to my car. Looks like I’ll be picking up a drunk Snow tonight. Me: you are a grown man, i don’t think anyone will try to kidnap you. where are you? Snow: that one place. the orca or something. u coming to get me?? Snow: u don’t have to Me: you mean the dolphin?

Me: and let you get kidnapped by a cabbie? be there in 15. Snow: yeah that’s theplace! thanks babe

On second thought, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Dealing with a flirty drunk over text is manageable, but not in person, and not when that person is Snow. All I can hope is that he passes out before he can say anything he’ll regret. About 15 minutes later, I’m parked on the street outside The Dolphin. I roll down the passenger window and scan the passersby, catching sight of Snow leaning against the wall near the front door. The neon lights from the bar are painting his features in a soft glow and he looks carefree, chatting up a girl in front of him. What have I gotten myself into. Cupping my hands around my mouth, I yell out his name. He takes a startled step back from the girl and whips his head in my direction. When he sees me, he grins and breaks into a run toward my car. Not before saying goodbye to his friend, who doesn’t look too happy that I’m stealing Snow from her. He pulls open the passenger door and lets out a dramatic sigh as he slides into the seat. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes wafts over from where he’s now slumped over, and I roll down the windows. I don’t know if Snow smokes, but there’s a lot I don’t know about him.

“God, Baz. You never told me you had such a comfy car.” Leaning his head back on the rest, he closes his eyes and fumbles with the seat belt, clicking it into place before I take off. “You never asked. Where are we headed?” I tap my fingers to the beat of the song against the leather of my steering wheel; I don’t recognise the song, but Snow must, because he’s begun to hum along to it. I force myself to focus on the road, trying to ignore the low humming. “See, I know it’s in here somewhere,” I glance at him to see that he’s giggling and tapping his pointer finger against the side of his head, “but I can’t seem to find it.” “Are you taking the piss? You don’t know your own address?” Unbelievable. I’ve a drunk Snow in my car, and nowhere but my own flat to take him. Unless I drop him in the street, but even I’m not that cruel. “Would you be mad if I said I don’t?” He must notice the disapproving look on my face, because he’s quick to defend himself, “Hey, don’t give me that look! Pen and I only moved in last week. You can’t expect me to just know these things. Especially not in this state.” Looks like he’s coming to my flat, then. “You are the worst drunk.” I mutter under my breath and turn up the radio, hoping he’ll get the message that I’d rather drive in silence. He’s asleep when we get back to my flat, drool dripping down his chin and onto the window he’s pressed up against.

I nudge his shoulder and he jerks awake, banging his head in the process, then wipes at his mouth. “Sorry,” He slurs, opening the door and pushing himself out, before falling right back into his seat. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, still processing the turn of events this night has taken, and walk around the car to help him out. Wrapping an arm securely around his waist, I shut the car door with my hip and pull his arm over my shoulder, linking our fingers together to keep it in place and Snow upright.

It’s quite difficult climbing up four flights of stairs while 80 kilos of a drunk uni student hangs off your shoulder. Thankfully, we only stumble a few times. There’s only one close call when Snow trips on the last step, almost sending us tumbling down backwards. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if this night ended in at least one broken bone.

We make it to my flat and I let go of Snow to dig the key out of my pocket, pushing him back to rest against the wall. The last thing I need is to drag 80 kilos of unconscious uni student through my flat. My neighbors already think poorly of me, best not have them think I’m a murderer.

I push the door open and grab for Snow again, having to use more strength to hold him up as he starts to lose more of his own. Shutting the door behind us with my foot, I shuffle him over to the couch, which I unceremoniously drop Snow facedown onto. It’s not a small couch by any means, but he’s quite broad, so I take out the cushions in the back to make room.

I point an accusing finger at him, “You stay there,” like he’d even be up for wandering around in his current state, “I’m going to get you some stuff.”

He just grunts in response, burying his face into the cushions.

I make my way through my flat, gathering things that Snow may need—a glass of water and some aspirin, pillows and blankets, and some pyjamas that he isn’t even sober enough to change into.

When I walk back to the couch, Snow has flipped onto his back with his hands resting under his head. He’s awake, but just barely. He stares up at me as I set the water and medicine on the table, then drop the rest of the things onto the floor. He’s still wearing his shoes, and it looks like I’m going to have to take those off.

I begin to unlace his boots, and silently curse how hard they are to take off. Not because I have something against taking shoes off, but because Snow will not stop staring at me. I’m not facing him, but I can feel his gaze on the top of my head. He doesn’t let up the whole time I undo his shoes and peel off his sweaty socks. (Gross, but so is allowing someone to sleep in socks.)

Grabbing the pillow off the floor, I motion for him to lift his head up. He listens, and I place it underneath him, picking up the blanket as he lays back down. His stare is unnerving, and I’m not sure he realises how intensely he’s looking at me. It wouldn’t be as creepy if he’d just say something, anything, but all he’s doing is forcing me to look back at those blue eyes.

I’m leaning over his face to tuck the blanket into the crease of the couch when he finally opens his mouth.

“Pretty,” He whispers, and all I can do is stare right back at him. Our faces are close, too close, and I jerk away when his eyelids begin to droop.

I stand up straight and look down at him. “And you’re drunk. Goodnight, Snow.”

He yanks the blanket up to his chin, pulling it out from where I just tucked it in as he turns away from me, muttering a string of unintelligible words. I shrug them off, not worrying too much about what a half asleep Snow has to say. Especially not if it’s another meaningless compliment.

As I’m stepping away from the couch and heading to my room, away from Snow’s drunken words, I finally let my shoulders droop; drop the façade that I find myself putting up anytime I’m around Snow.

After shutting my bedroom door quietly behind me, I cross the dark room and flop face-up onto my bed, kicking off my shoes. I don’t bother with getting under the covers, just roll over onto my side, and curl my knees to my chest.

---

SIMON

I’ve fucked up.

This much is evident as soon as the sun wakes me up. My eyes aren’t open, but I can tell that it’s bright wherever I am, and wherever I am is not my room. The pillow I’m on is too squishy, and I can feel the dip in the cushions beneath me—something that my back is really not appreciating. My neck aches, my head is throbbing, and where the fuck am I?

Maybe I could solve that mystery by opening my eyes. I groan and roll onto my side, rubbing at my eyes with my fists to try and force them open. They finally cooperate, and I slowly start to crack them open, giving myself time to adjust to the harsh light.

Definitely not in my own flat, then. Whoever owns this flat has really nice carpet, I’ll have to ask them about that.

No, now is not the time for thinking about carpet. I never think about carpet. I lift my head up a tad and catch sight of a pill bottle and a glass of water.

Every muscle in my body screams at me to just go back to sleep, but I ignore them and swing my legs over into a sitting position, feet planted on the floor. I rub at my eyes again with one hand, reaching out with the other to grab three of whatever medicine this is.

I could be drugging myself without looking at what I’m taking, but at this rate, I think my body would thank me for the sweet release from this hell.

I’m not even sure what all happened last night, but I don’t think I want to know. Searching my brain for any clues proves to only worsen my headache, the memory of flashing lights and alcohol too much for my brain to handle.

God, Penny is going to kill me. First, I go home with a strange person—okay, they may not be strange, but there’s always a chance—and then I don’t text her to let her know where I am. To let her know that I’m safe.

I look down at myself, doing a quick once over to make sure that, yes, I do have clothes on. Thankfully, they’re clothes that I recognise, the ones I was wearing last night. Penny will be so proud.

I’m so caught up in my own little hangover world, I jump when I hear a noise from behind me. I turn around too quickly—I’m seriously going to pay for this—to find the source of the noise. As if this entire situation could get any worse.

There, leaning against the wall of the hallway and smirking, eyebrow raised in what seems to be its permanent state, is Baz fucking Pitch.

“Morning, Snow.” He pushes off the wall and stalks toward me, glancing at his bare wrist like he’s checking a watch, “Or should I say afternoon?”

I groan and turn back around, dropping my head into my hands and rubbing vigorously at my eyes once again. This has to be a dream. There’s no way in hell that out of all the people I could possibly have gone home with, it ended up being him.

He was a complete ass during chemistry. I’d really thought there was a chance if us being friends, but then he had to go and pour chemicals all over me. Penny tells me I hold grudges for too long, and that I should just forgive Baz for making an honest mistake, but she doesn’t know how gross that shit is. It stained for weeks! Okay, maybe not weeks, but long enough for my disdain toward him to grow every time I was reminded of it. (Which was quite often. It’s hard to not look at your arm for a week, especially when it’s all brown and blotchy.)

Besides, he didn’t even have the decency to apologise. Or help me wash it off. He just raised that arrogant eyebrow of his and carried on with the lab.

Anyway, that whole incident began this weird dynamic between us; not exactly hate, but far from like. Merely tolerance accompanied with condescending eyebrow quirks from Baz, and resentment filled glares from me.

And now I’m here, sitting on Baz’s couch, while he leans coolly against it behind me.

“Would you like something to eat?” And now he’s offering to feed me? That snaps me out of whatever haze I’m in, and I quickly stand up. My entire body protests every single thing happening, but I’d rather have a killer headache than subject myself to this torture for one second longer.

“Leaving so soon?” He watches while I lace up my boots, then follows me to the door. “I take it you’ve finally remembered where you live.”

“First of all,” I stop in front of the door, hand on the doorknob, and turn to look at him. “I have no idea what you mean by that. And second, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, really, but if you say one more word I think I might throw up. Please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up.”

That seems to catch him off guard, because he drops the smirk, taking a step back from me.

“I just mean,” I sigh, dragging my hand down my face. “I have the biggest headache, and I’m probably going to vomit any minute now, so I’m not appreciating your cocky attitude.”

“I’m not—”

“Shush,” I press my finger against his lips, which he looks down at with disgust. “Thank you for picking me up, but let’s just go back to the way things were, yeah? You doing nice things is creeping me out. I prefer broody, evil Baz to whatever this is.” He grabs my wrist and pulls my finger away from his lips, then stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“Alright, I can do that. Goodbye, Snow. See you Monday.” He says.

I give him a quick wave, then pull the door open and step out. Without looking back, I rush away and down the stairs, only hearing the click of his door closing when I reach the bottom of the first flight.

It’s raining when I step outside, and my shirt doesn’t provide much protection, but it’s all I have. Putting aside the fact that I’m going to be completely soaked by the time I make it home, the rain feels nice. It isn’t doing much to relieve my headache or calm my nausea, but the smell of the rain covers up how horrible I smell. I can’t believe Baz touched me when I smell like this. At least I think he’d have touched me to get me up to his flat.

A night of drinking and being around clouds of cigarette smoke doesn’t do much for personal hygiene. I’ll be happy to finally be in my own home, in my own shower, washing myself of my regrets.

The waves of nausea finally start to hit me full force, and I pull off into an alley where no one can see me. For the first time today, I do something that my body is thanking me for, but I really hate it.

When I’m finished, I step back out onto the pavement, pulling out my phone to check the time. I ignore the endless notifications from Penny, quickly shoving it back into my pocket before it gets soaked. It’s mid-afternoon. There are people running about, doing their own things. None of them spare me a second glance.

I pick up the pace as I near my flat, pressing the buzzer repeatedly—I’m not sure where I left my key, but that’s a problem for later. Penny finally lets me in, and I can sense her annoyance even before I step into the building.

She’s standing with her hands on her hips when I open the door. I take a breath and close it behind me, preparing for the questions she’s about to lay on me.

“And where do you think you were last night?” I step past her toward my room, stripping off my soaked shirt and throwing it in the general vicinity of the bathroom. She follows. “You couldn’t have bothered to call? Text? Where were you, Simon? If you went home with someone and didn’t tell me last night, I swear to all that is holy I—”

“Penny, oh my God. I’m sorry for not calling or texting, but I’m safe, yeah?” I take off my wet trousers next, not caring if Penny sees me in just my pants. It’s not like she hasn’t before. “I went home with Baz. He picked me up.”

“Baz Pitch?” She scoffs. “You went to Baz Pitch for a ride home, and he gave it to you? This is one for the books. How’d you get his number anyway?” She says as she falls back onto my bed, crossing her arms behind her head to look up at me.

I sit next to her, not worrying about the butt-shaped wet mark that I’m going to leave on the sheets. “I got it when we worked together on some lab a few months ago. I was going to text you, but drunk Simon thought it would be a wonderful idea to text Baz instead.”

“What’s that thing about drunk thoughts?” I groan at the knowledge of where this is heading. “Oh yeah, ‘a drunk mind speaks a sober heart’, or something like that.”

I lay down on my back next to her, “For the last time Penny, I don’t like Baz like that. We’re just… acquaintances. And I think it’s ‘drunk actions are sober thoughts.’”

“Whatever, same thing. And did you say acquaintances? That’s at least an improvement from arch enemies.” She drops her head to the side to look at me, then shoves my shoulder. “Let’s see those texts.”

Oh yeah, I should probably check what I said to him. Not that I particularly want to, there’s a very high chance I said something embarrassing. I stand up and grab my damp phone from my discarded jeans and sit back down on the bed cross-legged, opening my message with Baz.

Ah, here’s the regret I’ve been anticipating.

“What is it? I know that look.” Penny sits up beside me, peering over my shoulder to get a look at my phone.

She really laughs this time, letting it all out at the stake of my dignity. “Oh, Simon,” She manages to get out through laughter that shakes my already unstable bed. “You called him babe? Oh, this is hilarious.”

My cheeks heat up and I tilt my phone away from her, scrolling to the first text. Drunk Simon is worse than I thought, because I know for a fact that I was completely aware of who I was texting. Apparently pretending the text was meant for someone else is a Simon certified way of getting it on with an acquaintance. I refuse to call him a crush, even safely in my thoughts.

“You’ve got to talk to him! He went out of his way to pick you up, that has to mean something.” Penny has always been one for the romantic. Though, in this case, I think she’s just tired of mine and Baz’s immature hatred for each other.

As I’m about to respond, I remember something from last night.

Baz leaning over me, black hair falling and framing his face. He didn’t have it slicked back last night; I must’ve caught him right before bed. I remember grey eyes staring straight into mine, too close. I remember saying something to him. Calling him pretty. Oh fuck.

So, let me get this straight. I text Baz, drunk, asking him for a ride. A ride that he gives me. He takes care of me and lets me crash at his place. Then I drunkenly call him pretty, only to wake up in the morning and insult him. But of course, not before rushing out of his house like I’d rather be anywhere else. No wonder he looked so confused.

This changes things. Now, the promise of going back to the way Baz and I were before makes my stomach twist, somehow a worse feeling than that of the nausea that accompanied my hangover.

I hate that I have to, but I’m going to have to fix this.

I finally let Penny in on my internal struggle. “I called him pretty, Pen. I don’t think I can ever look into his eyes again.” I mumble into my palm. I shut my phone off and drop it onto the floor, wanting to forget that last night and this morning—afternoon, whatever—ever happened.

“You really have it bad, don’t you?” I nod and rest my head on her shoulder, absorbing all the comfort I can. I definitely need it.

After a few minutes of allowing me to sulk, she pushes me off and jumps up, clapping her hands together. Oh no, this is her plan position. “Well? Are you just going to sit around and pout all day, or are you going to get your ass up and get that boy?” She grabs my hands, pulling with all her strength to yank my unresponsive body up and off the bed. “Take a shower and put some clothes on, you look like hell. I’m going to make you some hangover food.”

She hurries out of my room and off to the kitchen. I envy how enthusiastic she can be while I stand here feeling like a bag of utter shit. But she’s right, nothing is going to happen with Baz unless I step up and do something. Having gained some of Penny’s confidence, I skip off to the bathroom, feeling like things might go right for once.

---

After I’ve showered, eaten, and gotten another pep talk from Penny, we sit on the couch to watch reruns of the The Great British Bake Off. She hovers over my shoulder while I stare at my texts with Baz, trying to think of something to say. I settle for a simple ‘hey Baz’, which Penny isn’t very impressed with.

Baz: i hope you aren’t already drunk again, i don’t have time for picking up the trash tonight.

Nice, an insult. Penny insists that it’s just friendly banter, but having finally accepted my feelings for Baz, it feels… different.

Me: ha. you’re not funny.

Me: but no i’m not drunk at 5 in the afternoon, give me some credit

Me: are you busy tonight? i feel really bad about the way i acted and want to make it up to you

Baz: what do you have in mind?

Me: come over to mine for dinner? 6:30?

Baz: so soon?

I turn to look at Penny—she’s watching this entire disaster play out—and she must know what’s coming from the pleading look on my face, because she tilts her head and gives me a glare full of disappointment. “Give it to me straight, am I getting kicked out of my own flat so you can have a boy over?”

“No.” I click my phone off, then say quietly, “Might kick you out of the living room, though.”

Having expected something of the sort, she only rolls her eyes. “I want you to know I’m only doing this because I know you’d do the same for me.”

My phone vibrates with another text, and I answer that instead of Penny. She turns her attention back to the TV.

Baz: but yes, i can. please tell me you’ve showered since i last saw you.

Me: i have

Me: you’re still not funny.

Baz: i am

Baz: i’m going to need your address. that is, if you’ve finally remembered it?

I sigh and type out my address, hitting send and dropping my phone onto the couch. I feel Penny’s eyes burning a hole into the side of my head, so I turn to look at her.

She crosses her arms, looking amused. “I can’t believe you’re making me hide in my room so you can get it on with your nemesis.”

“He’s not my nemesis!” I say defensively.

“Simon,” she places a hand on my shoulder, “those are your exact words. This is all on you.”

“Sod off. I’m gonna clean up a bit. Baz will be here soon.” I gently push her hand away and stand up, walking off to my room. Time to go through the painful process of deciding what the fuck I’m going to wear.

One thing’s for sure, I need to make up for how much of a piece of shit I was. Something nice that doesn’t make me look like I’m trying too hard should do the trick. I settle for light jeans and a navy blue jumper that Penny says brings out my eyes.

As 6:30 approaches, I tidy up around the flat and order some pizza. In what feels like a too short amount of time, there’s a knock at the front door. Penny is still sitting on the couch and I pull her up, dragging her down the hall to shove her in her room.

“I love you. No eavesdropping.” I close the door before she can respond, and hurry back to answer the door. After quickly brushing imaginary crumbs off the front of my jeans, I open the door to find Baz standing next to the delivery girl, both of them looking extremely uncomfortable.

“Oh, er, Baz. You can come in.” I open the door wider to let him step past me. The pizza girl hands me the boxes and I reach into my pocket for the payment, she takes it and gives me a slight nod before leaving. I close the door behind her and turn to face Baz, who’s already taken off his jacket and hung it on the hook next to the door.

“Sorry about that,” I push past him to put the food on the coffee table, going on to the kitchen to grab some plates; he follows.

“I’m not sure if I can forgive you, we walked up the stairs together too.” I laugh at that, not even wanting to imagine how awkward of a walk that must’ve been.

“That’s rough.” We walk back into the living room, plates in hand. “I can understand if you never want to talk to me again.” I set the plates on the table, sitting down on the couch and waiting for Baz to do the same.

“When you invited me over for dinner, I didn’t think it’d be pizza on the couch.” He sounds amused, which just annoys me.

“Yeah, well, it’s what you’re gonna get. Don’t act like you don’t do the exact same thing.” I shove a plate into his chest.

He rolls his eyes, but there’s no real annoyance behind the action, and sits down an unsettling two feet away from me—all the way at the other side of the couch. We’re off to a great start.

I reach forward and open the box, taking out a few slices of pizza and dropping them onto my plate. Baz gives me a sideways glance, something I interpret as judgmental, but I only stare right back and add another piece of pizza to my pile. He finally gives up with the looks, getting some food for himself.

With my plate on my lap, I pull my feet up onto the couch and turn so I’m facing Baz, sitting with my back against the armrest. In my head, it felt like a good idea to sit this way. It makes for easier conversation when we can actually look at each other, but he’s still sitting facing forward and now it’s just weird. It’s too awkward to change positions again though, so I stick by my decision, and continue to stare at the side of his head.

We eat in silence for a bit, Baz still looking forward, but pulling one foot up to tuck underneath his thigh. He still has his boots on, but it’s nothing new to this poor couch, and I’m just glad that he’s seeming to get a little more comfortable.

Eventually, when we’re almost finished with our food, the silence teeters into extremely uncomfortable territory, and I speak up.“I know I’ve said this like, a million times, but I’m still really sorry about last night. I had no right to ask you for a ride, forget my fucking address, then crash at your place.”

“It’s fine, Snow, honestly. Besides, you didn’t even mean to text me, right? You called me Penny.” He sets his plate down on the table, kicking off his shoes and pulling his feet onto the couch to mimic the way I’m sitting. Finally.

“Right, yeah. I totally meant to text Penny.” I put my plate on the table too, pulling a pillow into my lap to hold for support.

He narrows his eyes at me, which is never a good sign when Baz is the one doing it. “See, the way you said that gives me the feeling you’re not being completely honest. You’d never lie to me, would you?” He looks amused, eyes wide and intrusive.

I huff and look away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.” The couch creaks as he leans forward to rest his chin in his palm, “Tell me, how’d you manage to do that? Our names are way different and we haven’t texted in what, at least two months? My name has got to be far down in your messages.” Fuck Baz and his logic. But more importantly, fuck me for being such an idiotic drunk.

He’s smirking when I look back at him—which I absolutely hate, for the record—and I give him an evil glare. At least, it feels evil to me.

“Fine. I may or may not have texted you and pretended I thought you were Penny.” He turns his hand into a fist, chin still resting on it, and grins like a madman.

“And why would you do that?” I wish he’d wipe that smug look off his face.

I look around the room, looking for an out from the conversation. Well, there’s always one thing that can diffuse a situation. “Wanna play a video game?”

The expression on his face falls into one of confusion, and he cocks his head. “Huh?”

“We need something to do. C’mon,” I walk over to the TV and sit down in front of the cabinet with the games.

Baz hesitates, but eventually follows. “What kind of video games are we talking about here?” He says as he sits down next to me.

“Wii games, like Mario Kart and Just Dance. Those kinda games.” I open the cabinet and pull out two remotes, handing one to baz.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve played those before.” He grabs the remote and slides the strap over his wrist, of course he’s one of those people. Did you really even play a Wii game if there was never a risk of smashing your TV screen to pieces?

“Any suggestions?”

“Well, we can rule out Just Dance. I’m not playing that.” He scans the several rows of discs—Penny and I have a problem—and settles on a game, handing it to me and getting up and walking back to the couch.

“Guitar Hero, huh?” I go to join him, grabbing the plastic guitars from where they rest against the side of the cabinet. “You sure you’ve got what it takes to beat me?”

“You’d be wise to not underestimate my strumming abilities.” He snatches one of the guitars from my hands and snaps the remote into it. “Let’s do this.”

I sit down next to him and position the guitar comfortably in my arms while he gets the game started with his controls, “You don’t really strum these guitars. It’s more like… fingering.”

He gives me a blank stare, holds it for a few long seconds, then goes back to navigating through the menu. “Yeah, I’m not going to call it that. You pick the song.”

After scrolling through the options, I settle on Vampire Weekend. The beginning of “A-Punk” starts to fill the air, and shit, Baz was being serious when he told me not to underestimate him. Risking my victory at this song, I turn my head to glance at him, and his fingers are moving much faster than they really need to be.

Baz nearly destroys me, but I catch up at the last second and beat him by a hair.

I drop my guitar when the song ends and look smugly at Baz. “What was that you said about underestimating your strumming abilities?”

“I obviously let you win. Let’s do another.” He flicks his thumb over the bar, scrolling through to pick a new song.

“Sure you did.” I mutter. Baz ignores me.

“Do you want to play this song next?” I look to the screen, where “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran is highlighted.

“Yeah, sure. But we should add a little challenge to this,” Apparently, I can’t keep my dumb mouth shut because I say, “If you think you’re so good—” Don’t suggest it, Simon. Don’t do it. “—then let’s up the stakes this time.”

Baz quirks an eyebrow at me, silently urging me to go on. I’m not so sure that I want to.

But I can’t be the only one who’s feeling this way, can I? The tension in the room any time me and Baz interact is thick enough to cut, and I don’t think it’s the kind of tension that arises from hating each other. No, this is a much different tension. A gay kind.

So, deciding I have nothing to lose—besides Guitar Hero, of course—I go for it.

“Loser has to give the winner...” I hesitate, make sure this is really what I want to do, then continue, “a kiss.”

Baz’s response is immediate, like he’d been expecting me to suggest that. “I see your goal here, but you do realise that no matter who loses, both of us are going to end up getting the same thing?”

“Yeah but that’s not the point. The point is that the person who loses has to give the kiss. There’s a difference between giving and receiving.” I mean, I’m not wrong. There is a difference, but I’ll admit that isn’t very good justification.

“I’ll just pretend that makes sense. You know you’re going to lose though, right?”

“We’ll see about that. Maybe I was holding back the first time too.” Baz starts the song, and I position the guitar more comfortably in my arms.

The song starts to play, and I am seriously screwed. Did he change the difficulty on mine when I wasn’t paying attention? I thought I really had this one in the bag, but I guess that’s what you get when you’re cocky.

It’s safe to say that by the end of the song, he has completely destroyed me.

He rests his guitar and his lap and turns to face me, “About that kiss…”

Warmth floods my cheeks and, God, of course I had to lose when there were stakes. Well, a bet’s a bet. I set my hands on the couch in front of me and push into them, sitting up and leaning towards Baz. I stop when my face is inches away from his, and his eyes flutter closed.

I can’t let him get the satisfaction of winning, it’s just not fair. We never did specify that the kiss had to be on the lips, though, so I lean in and give him a quick peck on the cheek.

He cracks open his eyes and glares at me.

“Really?”

“Hey, I never said it had to be on the lips.” I’m still close to Baz, my hands on the cushions, and I’m about to sit back down when he grabs me by the back of the neck and pulls me in.

I widen my eyes in surprise as he presses his lips against mine. Oh, okay. That’s happening. My eyes drop closed, but he’s already pulling away and picking his guitar back up.

I’m staring at the side of his head, my mouth hanging open, and he has the audacity to act like nothing happened.

“So, how about ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’?”

#snowbaz #simon snow #carry on #baz pitch #carry on fanfiction #my fanfiction #idk what else to tag this huhh #i hope u enjoy this spent 4 months in my docs :)#also dont complain about teen wolf bc you guys voted foro it #you cause baz this pain

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cloudycrystalkpop · 7 years

Text

Predator | Lost Sheep

pairing: Doyoung x reader

summary: Predator Masterlist | she was naive and allowed him to make his way into her life, and her heart. but be warned little girl, of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

warnings: adult content, language

the music in the club pulsed as the bodies girated to the bass. she stayed hidden in her corner, having no interest in the grind-fest that was the dancefloor. don’t be mistaken, she loved to dance, but she wasn’t so keen on contracting herpes from a stranger tonight. still, she couldn’t help the tapping of her foot in time to the music.

as she watched the room with mild interest, her eyes fell on a stranger. an oval faced man with hair as dark as raven wings, and skin as pale as snow. his eyes met hers. just before she looked away she caught the kind smile he send her way. she was worried the stranger might take her gaze as an invitation, but he did no such thing.

she glanced at him again to see him seated at the bar alone. well, we wasn’t the kind of asshole to think that just because she looked at him, she wanted him. so maybe he was worth a shot. she quietly made her way to the bar.

he looked over his shoulder as she approached, offering her the same kind and gentle smile. she took a deep breath and sat beside him at the bar. she ordered a simple drink from the bartender before the stranger spoke.

“i was wondering if you were curious enough to come speak to me.” he spoke softly. his voice was smooth and gentle, and she saw curiosity in his dark eyes.

“i’m sorry i was staring, it’s quite rude. i meant nothing by it.” she began. he smiled and shook his head.

“nonsense. i took it as a complement, nothing more.” she relaxed slightly at his words.

she learned the young man’s name was Doyoung. he seemed as kind as his smile. he treated her with more respect then she’d seen from a stranger at a bar in her lifetime. while she could tell he was attracted to her, he made no move. simply allowing her control over where she wanted the conversation to go.

she found his presence relaxing and not pressing. he was laid back and cool. as the night got later, she decided it was time to head home.

“would you mind if i gave you my number? i’d very much like to see you again.” his question was careful. she smiled happily, immediately handing him her phone.

“i’d love that. how about i text you, and... maybe we can grab coffee sometime?” she asked quietly. she’d never asked a guy out. they always pestered her to go home with them, but Doyoung was unlike any men who had ever been interested in her.

“that sounds perfect.” he smiled at her softly. he stood from his seat and bid her goodnight before leaving.

she had texted Doyoung quite a bit for the past couple days. they had decided to meet at a small cafe for lunch. she found herself trying on about half a dozen different outfits. she felt like a giddy school girl about to go out with her crush. she scolded herself for this. she was a grown woman, not a little girl.

she sighed to herself, and chose a simpler, but more adult outfit. she finished getting ready and left her apartment.

when she arrived she saw Doyoung sitting in the back of the cafe by the window. she smiled and made her way over to him. he had been looking out the window but turned to her as she approached.

“i hope you don’t mind but i picked a spot out of the way.” she shook her head at his words and sat down across from him.

“no, this is lovely.” she crossed her legs and took another deep breath.

“what is it?” he inquired. she shook her head in reply.

“nothing.” he eyed her for a moment, but decided to let it go.

the pair spoke casually, until she asked.

“well, what do you do?” the question was innocent enough but he seemed a little uncomfortable about answering.

“well... i own a couple bars and hotels actually.” he answered. she blinked in surprise.

“really?” he nodded.

“i know i’m quite young, but i’ve worked hard to get to where i am. actually that bar we met in, is one that i own...” she was even more surprised.

“i’m surprised i’m just learning this now.” she chuckled dryly.

“i’m sorry. you didn’t really seem like the club type, so i didn’t bring it up. but... i want to he honest with you...” he bit his lip, looking down. she couldn’t help her eyes falling to his mouth and how soft he look with his head bowed. she tried to bury the thoughts of placing his soft lips on hers or running her fingers through his dark hair.

“well, i really appreciate you being honest. it’s actually really cool that you’re so young and already doing so well for yourself. i can respect that.” he rose his eyes to her own at her words, smiling at her with those same soft innocent eyes.

she felt herself falling for him, deeper and deeper she feel. his soft words and gentle smiles luring her into his sweet embrace. he was everything she could ask for, everything she would hope for. he was everything she wanted.

she found herself spending less time with her friends and more time with Doyoung. she just loved his calming presence. he was what she wanted after a long day, to just relax by his side.

he called her his lamb. he saw her as so innocent and pure. so cute, a little living cloud. she couldn’t help but giggle at his sweet words. due to his timid attitude, she was the first to say those words to him. those special three little words.

they had been seated on the couch in her apartment, her head resting on his shoulder. she’d been tired from a long day and it just slipped out. he’d been quite stunned, but after a moment of recovery replied.

“i love you too.” she sighed and melted into his side, hiding her face in his shoulder allowing herself to get lost in his calming scent.

and she truly did love him. and in her love, she was a fool.

she’d only meant to surprise him with some homemade treats she’d baked for him, but what she had found shook her to the core.

she had gone to his home, finding the address from a friend of his. she hadn’t been expecting the large and beautiful home, but he had said he owned multiple hotels and bars, so she shrugged it off.

she was surprised to find the place unlocked, thinking Doyoung must have simply forgotten, she locked it back behind herself. she placed the small plate she’d brought on the counter, looking around the lavish home. she had never been to his home, not for any particular reason, i’d just never come up.

she wandered the halls for a short while, with no sight of Doyoung.

he must be here, his door was unlocked.

she sighed, about to simply leave a note and be gone, when she noticed the picture frame off it’s kilter. she made her way to it, meaning to only tilt it back into place, when she noticed a hallway hidden behind it. she giggled to herself.

he even has secret passageways just like something straight out of a book.

while she scolded herself, she ventured into the hidden area anyway. she imagined finding perhaps a large library Doyoung had created so he could read and study in secrecy. she found the mental image of him relaxed in an old chair, a book of some unknown language in his hands, was enough to make her smile and giggle.

what she found at the end of the hall however, was not what she had expected.

she had never been one to watch much porn, however what she found, she had seen something similar enough in the trailers for Fifty Shades Of Grey that would appear on her youtube.

while a small part of her was horrified at this BDSM sex dungeon, she tried to shake it off. Doyoung was an adult, if this was what he was into, then who was she to juge? still, the bit that really horrified her, was that he had never spoken of this to her.

“how did you find her way in here, lamb?” she whirled around at the sound of his voice. he walked into the room from a black door in the corner, dressed in a nice business suit.

“i-i came to give you some things i’d baked, i know how you like my sweets...” she answered honestly. he cocked an eyebrow. she swallowed and looked up into his eyes. what she was met with, where not the kind eyes she’d been expecting.

Doyoung placed his hands in his pockets, pacing around her in a circle, his face unreadable. this greatly unsettled her, as she was so used to his usually calming presence.

instead, he stalked around her. as though he were a wolf, and she his prey.

“...Doyoung?” she shifted worriedly. what had come over him?

“i suppose i should tell you lamb, i haven’t been as honest with you as you perceive.” his voice was smooth and monotone.

“Doyoung, what are you saying?” she was incredibly nervous now.

“those bars i own, they are meeting places for the local gangs and mafia.” she stiffened at his words. “and those hotels, they aren't really hotels at all. after all, a brothel by any other name is still a whorehouse.”

she was stunned into silence. he stopped his curling, and came to stand before her. he stared down at her, his eyes void of any kindness she’d seen before.

“why... why are you admitting this now?” she asked, looking into his eyes for any sign of the man she loved.

“because, you won’t run from me. you’re in love with me. well, you’re in love with the man you perceive me to be.” he smiled. not the warm, calming, gentle smile she loved. his face twisted into a cocky smirk.

“who are you?” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. he stepped towards her. she wanted to flinch away, but her body didn’t move. he stood before her, and cupped her face in his warm palms.

“it’s alright my love, it’s me. it’s Doyoung. you don’t need to be scared of me lamb.” the softness in his tone returned. “i love you, my lamb.” his eyes looked down at her with that kind gentleness she knew so well.

“D-Doyoung...” she felt tears slid down her cheeks as she buried her face in his chest. he shushed her as he stroked her hair, mumbling small words of comfort. after a moment, he pulled her away. he leaned down to her level, at whispered softly,

“i love you, my lamb.” he held her in his arms as he pressed her lips to his own. the kiss held all the softness she had adored about him. until, he turned and dominated the kiss. he pressed her into the wall, caging her form in his arms. he kissed her hugrully, like a dog who wished to devour his dinner. she tried to pull away, but he just pressed her there harder. finally, he released her.

“tell me, little sheep, have you ever heard of a wolf in sheep’s clothing?” the softness in his tone turned to daggers. she closed her eyes tightly, not willing to see him like this and ruin her gentle vision of him. “i asked you a question.” he growled into her ear. she jumped slightly, but nodded.

“good girl. well my lamb, you have met you’re first wolf.”

#doyoung #nct #nct u #doyoung nct #doyoung x reader #doyoung au #nct au #nct boss #nct u boss #nct gang au #nct mafia au #doyoung scenarios #nct scenarios #doyoung drabble #nct drabble

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tamersmile888 · 4 years

Text

Wolf Pack Season 2: Chapter 24

My attempt at making breakfast did not go as well as it did in my head. They make it look so easy on TV.

Dad appreciated the effort though. The poor guy even gave it a try. “Not bad, mijo. Though, next time try to go easy on the egg shells.”

We visited Sean's, mainly so I could hang out with Sunnie. She got so big, so fast. Any minute now she'd be calling her cool uncle to teach her how to drive. Hopefully, I'd have my own wheels by then. Otherwise, I'd be teaching her how to call for an S-rider. Or jump trains. Kidding.

She reminded me so much of me when I was little. Causing mayhem, turning everything within reach into a playset. It's a gift, being that imaginative. Curious minds made great inventors. I wondered what awesome stuff Sunnie would create when she grew up. She differently had the genes for it.

Harley came by teasing me about my second attempt at preparing an edible meal. This time I went with salad for obvious reasons. Lettuce. Tomato. Cucumbers. Done. He thanked me for being so cool about him in Leanne. They weren't official, but clearly they were headed in that direction.

“What about you and Tierra? I'm not sure it counts as a date if you're on the clock.” “For your information, I was off the clock.” “But still wearing the apron.” “....Still wearing the apron.” He was right. If I wanted things to move forward with Tierra, I had to let her know how I felt. So, tomorrow, I planned to ask her out on a real date. Not wearing the apron.

Early the next morning, me and dad went fishing for a little father and son bonding time. It made me think about that night Sean gave me my first fishing lesson as a kid. When it was for necessity. Survival. It made me wonder if I was taking the fresh start we'd been given for granted. There was a time when that tug on the line meant we weren't going to have to go hungry for the night. I don't like to go back to those places in my head, but it made me even more grateful for where we were now.

Anyway, coming out with dad made him really happy. It was nice to know that I'd put a smile on his face. I don't think I'd done it very often.

I asked Tierra out to a picnic in the park and I was thrilled she said yes. A part of me figured I didn't stand a chance, but I guess there was something she liked about me. Or maybe she was just hungry. Either way, I really hoped I didn’t disappoint.

I went all out for our date. “I brought books because I know how much you're into those. Science fiction and race car friendship. Pick your preference.” “Race car friendship sounds promising.” “I thought so too. Seems like a fast read.” We had hand wipes, water, gooey grilled cheese made by yours truly, and pizza from my favorite local shop just in case the grill cheese was too burnt to digest. Always have options.

By the way she chowed down the grilled cheese, it was safe to say she liked it. Now I had my go-to meal. I thought it was cute the way she gobbled up her food. It let me know she felt comfortable to be herself around me and that I had nothing to be self-conscious about.

We sat by the pool and just talked. About music. About our culture. About school. Her favorite class was Literature. No kidding. “It is pretty Lit.” She cringed at my joke, but it still made her laugh. “You did not just say that.” “I'd say it again.”

Then she looked over my shoulder at the graffiti on the wall of the park's food court. “It's too bad we have that as our view.”

I'd been meaning to take care of it, but doing it now was sort of symbolic. A statement.

I started cleaning off the graffiti and Tierra gave me a hand. Once we were finished, she told me that it was a nice thing to do. I told her it was my mess to clean up in the first place. I told her how I wasn't the same person I was back. That I was trying to be someone different. Someone better. And that she was helping me stay motivated. She said that she was happy she made me feel that way. Then she excused herself to the bathroom. I really hoped I wasn't coming on too strong. I just wanted her to know that I was trying to be someone worth her time.

While Tierra was in the bathroom, a girl came over to join me. She thought I was alone and wanted to keep me company. I told her that I was on a date and she apologized for interrupting. I told her that it was okay. “If you want, you can help yourself to a grilled cheese. It's my signature.” “Grill cheese happens to be my favorite. I'm Manni by the way.”

She helped her self to my famous dish, giving me the thumbs up. She said she was a surfer. She just came back from the beach with her friends and came to the park for some peace and quiet. “And yet you're here checking up on a complete stranger.” “I can't resist a cute face.” She wanted to exchange numbers just in case my date didn't work out. I didn't think anything of it and just thought she was the flirty type. She seemed nice, and I could always use more friends.

Tierra came back and I introduced the two of them. Then Manni said she was going to go take a walk and gave us our privacy.

We went for a dip in the lake and continued our conversation. Tierra said she admired that I was a people person. “I'm more laid back while you're a person magnet.” “As someone with a scientific background, I'd say you're pretty magnetic.” I told her that I wasn't sure where this was going, but I was willing to try and find out if she was. I could tell by the look on her face that we were definitely not on the same page. She said she liked spending time with me, but wanted to take it slow. To get to know me better. I could do that. For her, anything.

At the end of the night, I made sure to walk her to her door. If I wanted to win her over, I had to go the extra mile. Let her know I was being genuine. She thanked me for the date. “And the books. I had a really great time.” “Hopefully, we can do it again someday. Without the community service.” “That was the best part. I think graffiti looks good on me.” “Me too.”

We said goodnight with a hug, and that was that. Even though it didn't turn out exactly how I hoped it would, I was actually glad we were taking it slow. It gave me less of an opportunity to mess everything up. I was satisfied enough just being her friend.

After Tierra went inside, I got a text from Manni.

Looks like everything worked out. Good for you.

Ha. She was something else. But...cool.

While I was on my way home, I caught a glimpse of Tierra's dad watching me out the window. He did not look pleased. I totally understood. If I my daughter was going out with some kid I'd never met, I'd be on edge too. But I had a feeling he wasn't going to make it easy for me.

With Tierra's dad on my mind and me wondering if he thought I wasn't good enough for his daughter, I didn't see the car speeding my way, nearly running me over.

It screeched around the corner and out of sight. All I saw was a glimpse of its green paint as it took off. I had the strangest feeling that it wasn't an accident. Someone was trying to hit me. But why? This wasn’t over. I was going to find out who it was, even if I had to track them down myself.

#Life Is Strange 2 #TheSims4 #Daniel Diaz #Sean Diaz #basegameonly #thesims4basegame #tamersmile #wolfpackseason2 #simsstories #simstories #lifeisstrange2

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imsarabum · 7 years

Text

Stay With Me // Jay Park

Pairing: Jay x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, mentions of smut.

Summary//Request: Based on Jay Park’s lyrics from his song ‘Stay With Me’. Jay thinks you deserve more than him after he’s forced to cancel spending time with you on your birthday. But, you show him that none of that matters to you - that you’ll always stay with him, no matter what.

Note; not rated M for mature, but includes some suggestive scenes.

What was promised to be a special, meaningful evening for both you and Jay had been abruptly turned into you sitting at home by yourself, after Jay called to inform you that he – once again, wouldn’t be able to keep his promise to you. Most of the time, you were completely understanding when things like this came up so suddenly; but this time, Jay was the one who couldn’t deal with your more than understanding narrative – seeing as it was, after all, your birthday.

“Yeah, I’m a bit disappointed but what can we do? Let’s just leave it to another night. What time do you think you’ll get finished up?” you had responded when he called you to break the news, just as you were just about to leave to go and meet him at the restaurant he had reserved two weeks prior.

“Aren’t you…you know, angry with me? Not even a little bit of ‘You promised me?’” Jay had asked as he stood outside one of AOMG’s recording rooms when he found out he’d be working well into the ridiculous hours of the morning on the eve of your birthday.

“Like I said, I’m disappointed but - not going out tonight isn’t the end of the world, Jay” You had laughed, ultimately confusing him in the process. You knew that Jay and the other members of AOMG had been working non-stop the past few weeks with the possibility of a European tour on the cards for them all. Were you angry? Not really, you knew how much something like this would mean to all of them. Instead, rather than getting needlessly worked up, you decided that an encouraging approach would have been far more beneficial to you both.

“You know, sometimes I really don’t understand you” Jay sighed through the phone, making you knit your eyebrows together as you mulled over his vague expression.

“What do you mean by that?” you asked, deciding to put him on loudspeaker as you began taking off the makeup you had spent your time putting on to go and meet him.

Jay let out another exasperated sigh as he caught Kiseok opening the door of the recording room and waving for him to come in and join them all; thus deducting that his presence was needed back there. “I…I’ll just cancel the table then. Why do you…actually, never mind. It’s fine – I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Jay, wait, what were you going to ask? Don’t go – I – “

“(Y/N), just…look, I have to go. I’m sorry – for everything” he hung up before he said something he knew he’d instantly regret. Jay knew that he wasn’t’ purposefully doing this – and you knew he was all about his music and his team’s success; something that you had heavily supported and encouraged him to do throughout your relationship with him, especially in times of his own self-doubt. Never once had you complained about him cancelling on dates, showing up late to promised gatherings – or even when he’d come home at 3am; waking you up in the process. You never complained because you knew that this was his life – busy, hectic and crazy being three words often thrown around to describe it. But ultimately, you never complained because you loved him, and you knew he loved you in turn. Yet despite that, Jay felt like all he did was let you down, time and time again. He knew that you had probably spent the best part of the last two hours doing your hair and make-up, picking out and wearing one of your prettiest dresses – the dress he knew was now being thrown back into the closet and the remnants of your makeup staining several makeup-removal wipes that lay crumpled in the bin in your bathroom.

“How did it go with (Y/N)?” Kiseok asked as Jay entered the room, clearly being able to see the annoyance on his face as he took his seat beside him.

“She said it was okay – as usual” Jay huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf he felt like he was for cancelling on you.

“Wait – really? She’s cool with you having to bail on her birthday?” Kiseok quickly tilted his head as Jay nodded slowly in turn. “Damn, how did you manage to land yourself with a gorgeous woman who doesn’t give you shit about things like this?” he laughed, but Jay didn’t find Kiseok’s comments in the least bit amusing.

“You’re completely missing the point though. She should be angry at me. She has every right to be, but instead she smiles and tells me it’s all okay” Jay licked his lips, panning his eyes over the countless pieces of sheet music and tour information that lay in front of him. “She takes so much shit from me and acts like she’s fine. And it makes me feel horrible”

“…why would that make you feel horrible?” Kiseok crossed his left leg over his right, attempting to play counsellor to one of his best friends.

“Because I think she deserves more? I dunno, fuck…” Jay rubbed his hands over his face in frustration, clearly not wanting to open up about it any further. “Look – let’s just get this shit done so I can go home” he added, before switching the mix-board on and readying himself for hours of stress that he didn’t need or want. Kiseok gave a secret, faint smile in turn at Jay, knowing that there was so much more to how Jay was feeling than he would ever let on. Kiseok knew that Jay had been in countless relationships before – but none quite like that one that you had given him for the past year and a half. Of course, Kiseok and the rest of the crew knew you extremely well and you all got on like family. But if there was one thing that Kiseok was thankful for, it was the fact he knew that Jay felt more like a person since he found you; living, rather than just existing. “Oh, to be young and in love” Kiseok smirked to himself, knowing that he had absolutely no reason to worry about Jay, because he had you.

As the hours crept by, and as one cup of coffee turned into approximately twelve; Jay finally lay back in his studio chair as he stretched his legs and reached his hands up to the ceiling. “I’m too old for this shit right now” he let out a half-hearted chuckle as he looked up at the clock. “02:03am” he said to himself as he saw Kiseok and Cha Cha gathering their coats while Loco proceeded to arrange an uber to take him back to his place.

“If you’re old, what does that make me – huh?” Kiseok playfully punched Jay on his shoulder, giving a sarcastic look to Cha Cha and Loco as they both made their way to the studio door. “You heading to (Y/N)’s now?”

“Mmmh” Jay responded sleepily as he opened his eyes, readying himself to take to his feet to grab his coat. As soon as he stood up, Loco proceeded to open the door to let both him and Cha Cha out, only to be greeted by none other, than you.

“Uh, Jay…I don’t think you’ll be leaving just yet” Cha Cha smiled at you as he raised his eyebrows – his voice wrapped in a knowing tone as you smiled and gave him a quizzical look in response.

“The hell do you mean I won’t be leaving just yet? I’m done for the day. The only place my ass is going is back to (Y/N)’s to –“ Jay cut his own sentence off upon turning around and seeing you halfway through the door. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here? How long you been here?”

“Come on guys, let’s go – see ya, Jay” Cha Cha called out quickly as he proceeded to push Loco through the door once you had passed.

“Goodnight guys” Kiseok winked at you before waving to Jay, as he slipped out of the room to join the others in going home for some well needed rest.

Alone as last, you closed the door behind you – Jay watching you walk towards him with a tired smile on your face, noticing that you were wearing your usual attire of jeans and one of his hoodies. “I just got here, actually. Kiseok text me to let me know that you were all finishing up about 20 minutes ago. So…I thought I’d come over and we could both go home together?” you put your arms over his shoulders to pull him in for a hug, to which Jay’s natural instinct was to snake his arms around your waist and envelop you in his embrace. He had no idea that Kiseok had even taken out his phone to text you – but now, he was glad that he did.

“Baby…” he whispered in your ear, his soft voice making you smile as you leaned back to look into his eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry about earlier. I’m sorry for purposefully trying to start a fight. I’m sorry for letting you down again” you could feel him gripping you tighter as his words came spilling out from his heart.

“You’re under a lot of stress, and I understand. While the apology is greatly appreciated, there’s nothing really to apologise for. If the roles were reversed, you’d do the same for me – hmm?” you raised your eyebrows at him, feeling the warmth of his body seeping into yours. Jay let his head fall back slightly, knowing that if he didn’t let his worries be heard now – that they’d forever weigh him down like an anchor at sea.

“Actually…I don’t know if I could ever be as understanding as you” he chuckled, pausing a moment to look at your beautiful smile that captured him in more ways than one. “You know that I do all of this because I love music. I love making the money to help the team and my family and to secure the future I wanna have with you…but one day, I know all th fame will go away. The money will be elsewhere and long gone. And…I just worry that all of this shit will take its toll on us. How can you be okay with me being a useless boyfriend who can’t even take you out on your birthday?” his words made your heart both burst at the seams and ache with sorrow at the thought of Jay thinking you would leave him over missing your birthday.

“How can you think that you’re a useless boyfriend? Don’t you know how much you mean to me?” you asked, wondering how on earth he would ever arrive at the conclusion that you would leave him over something so trivial. “We both hate birthdays Jay, it’s just a day – a day that we can have another day” both of you giggled at your over-usage of the word ‘day’.

“But how can you be so…so calm about it? Like – I was expecting a - ‘You promised me! You always let me down! You never put me as a priority!’ kind of argument to kick off on the phone but, you just…you just –“

“Accepted it?” you finished his sentence for him – something that both of you often did for each other.

“…yeah. I just…sometimes, I really feel like you deserve more than what I can give you right now. But at the same time, I don’t ever wanna let you go” Jay proceeded to bury his face in the crook of your neck. “Honestly, I’m always trembling when we hug like this. Even after all this time” his words sent a shiver up your spine as you cradled the back of his head with your hand.

“Me too” you whispered, feeling your heart racing at a thousand miles an hour. “I don’t want to let you go either – don’t you see that’s why I don’t care when you have to cancel on things? I know that someday, it won’t always be like this. We’ll be older with our own kids to worry about – hell, I might have to cancel on a few things before that happens. All of this? This is just the shitty bits in between before we can relax. Just as long as I have you, nothing else matters beyond that.”

It was at that moment that Jay couldn’t hold back any longer, as he took either side of your face between his hands and pressed his lips to yours. You kissed him back – starting out slow and tender, turning to more pressured and heated within just a few seconds. You couldn’t deny that the times he had to cancel on you always left you feeling a little disappointed, but not disappointed in him. You had told him countless times in the past that not only did you love him, but you admired and respected him – you looked up to him; that, and his work-ethic was insanely attractive to you from the very beginning, even before you both sealed the deal on your relationship.Never once had Jay taken you for granted, and hearing those words coming from you just reinstated all the millions of reasons why you were the only person who could ever own his heart.

“Promise me that no matter what happens, that you’ll stay with me…I know I don’t deserve that promise, but without you, everything becomes meaningless. You know that I’d rather die than not have you, right (Y/N)?” Jay spoke in between kisses, before slipping his tongue past your lips to twine with yours as he backed you against the mixing board table with his body pressed firmly against yours.

“A hundred years could pass, and I’d still feel the same, Jay. I love you – and I’m sorry but, you can’t get rid of me…ever” you chuckled into his mouth as your hands roamed his shoulders, feeling his kisses becoming more eager by the second.

“I love you too, (Y/N)” he mumbled, with only one thing on his mind – wanting to show you in that moment just how much he loved you, how much he needed you and desired you in every way imaginable, despite how tired he was. You felt his hands trace the outline of your body right down to your hips where they stopped momentarily, before you felt the appearance of his arousal which was becoming harder by the moment – pressing into your lower abdomen.

You moved your hands to his chest, pushing him back ever-so-slightly as he stopped his rain of kisses to your lips, looking into your eyes as if they were the only thing he had ever wished to see. “Let’s go home…we can continue this in our bed, right?” you gave him one last peck to his cheek, watching a bashful smile make its way on to his face as he breathed out a breath of frustrated air.

“I suppose you’re right. God knows that Loco is bound to come running back in to pick up something he ‘forgot’” Jay took his coat and flung it over his shoulder before taking your hand in his and walking both of you over to the door.

“And besides, I can’t do all the things I wanna do to you on the mixing table – can I?” you gave him a devilish smirk as you both left the studio room – Jay switching off the lights and letting the door swing closed behind the two of you.

“Oh? And what things are they, baby girl?” he looked to you with a coy grin, mid-walking towards the elevator that would take you both down to the buildings parking lot. You smiled back at him, deciding to keep letting him pry at you until the elevator reached the basement level.

“I’ve waited all evening to see you, I guess you’ll just have to wait until we get home to find out what I’ve been thinking about for the past six hours…all by myself…” you bit your lip after the both of you had put on your seatbelts.

“..fuck…” Jay mouthed, before taking off like a rocket in his car, racing against his own wild and wonderful fantasies that overloaded his brain with excitement; all to get back home for the night you had suddenly planned for the two of you.

“Looks like my birthday didn’t go to waste after all…” you smiled.

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