#she’s literally the only person who takes care of con and pays attention to him i will never shut up about this

[calo-wav]

tom this greg that WILLA’s the peoples princess. when enticed to play The Game she WILL win

[cakerybakery]

The Object of Your Affection

Dub Con warning. Object is being literal here. Very unhinged. Seriously. I don’t know if I call it a dead dove, but it gets weird.

Weird weird.

I literally said I wanted to go outside of my comfort zone and do some weird shit. I don’t even know what kind of kink this is. I consider this a fair warning without spoilers. Good luck if you read it.

I can’t believe you decided to read this. Fuck man. Go hard.

-

Adam died but he wasn’t gone. His soul, groundless, flittered about hell like litter in the wind. He was garbage, refuse, in a dump called hell.

Stuck wherever the rotting wind blew him. An object or a demon, it didn’t matter. Only dislodged by a jolt. He’d spent a week stuck in a light pole until it was struck and he was freed.

He bobbed along, trying to grab at anything and only grabbed at nothingness.

He’d been tight, pinchy shoes, and the woman who wore them as she was fucked fast and dirty in an alleyway. Adam had moaned and cum in her body as a thick cock of one of descendants rubbed her cunt just right. Only to be dislodged as her ass was slapped.

Adam was the blade of a knife plunging into the heart of some poor screaming bastard, jolted and freed as he was tossed aside so the welder could use his hands and get real dirty.

Eventually he figured he needed to come up with a plan. Maybe instead of being flotsam he could try to jump from person to person, or object, and get somewhere.

But to where?

He was fake balls deep in some chick and wondering what the hell the chick he was in was getting out of this when he spotted an ad on the bus they were riding for the Hazbin Hotel.

Lucifer’s bitch daughter was front and center and he knew, he just knew, if anyone had anything that could do something about his driftwood lifestyle, it was the big bad of hell himself.

The bus jolted and Adam screamed as the strap on he’d been fucking into the chick was now buried way too deep in their pussy.

“Sorry!” The chick he’d just been apologized. “I blanked out for a moment and didn’t see that turn coming.”

Adam just groaned. It was kind of his fault. He didn’t mean to take her over, he’d been aiming for the bus in general, so while he overrode her soul she wasn’t even aware he was there, and he hadn’t been paying attention. He’s just happy he didn’t end up as the strap on. Not how he wanted to fuck a chick. And god knows how long it would be until he was out of it.

“It’s okay. Just be more careful.” He sighed and let her keep going. No point ruining their good time. And it wasn’t bad getting fucked. Besides, he wasn’t planning on staying. The bus turned and he slapped the sinner’s hand hard enough to jolt him free and out a window.

He slipped along on the wind until he landed in some dog thing. Slipping the collar was easy. He dashed through the streets and avoided traffic the best he could. Adam didn’t want to kill the little thing. In fact he slowed to allow the owner time to catch up.

The streets were busy so it was easier to get around as a tiny creature to avoid being bumped.

Wiggling through the gate carefully he ran up the doors and barked until someone opened the door.

The little maid ohhed at him and then at the guy yelling as he ran up the drive that that was his dog.

Adam backed up, mentally apologized the the dog thing, and ran head first into the glass door to dislodge himself.

He got lucky and slipped into the maid. Adam picked the dog thing up and returned it to its owner before dashing into the hotel.

In the last few months he’d been in more than a few sinners who sold their souls. Puppetting the body of the sinner overrode that soul’s contract so he was never bound by the rules that governed the sinner.

But this chick was something else.

Her contract tethered her to her master, yes, but it also seemed to be keeping her mind from falling apart.

She did something no other sinner ever had.

Her mouth opened and she said, “hello.”

He could feel her eye turning. He wasn’t turning it.

She tip tip tipped across the floor quickly. He wasn’t moving her.

The maid giggled maniacally. “Who are you?”

Adam explained who he was, explained what happened, and what he was trying to do.

“I’m Nifty!”

“Well, that’s just nifty, dear. But-“

“I killed you.”

He could see himself in her memory. Being stabbed. The blood as it sprayed out of him.

This was a mistake.

“I can take you to him.”

“Good girl, Nifty.” He praised her. Good, violent deranged person, good.

They had to wait through until he returned that evening. “He has a routine. I know the perfect moment to tell him what happened. He’ll never believe me if I just tell him. They never believe me.” Her eye darted around and Adam could see other lost soul like himself stuck to things.

She giggled.

Oh no.

“They’re all asleep and I can’t wake them. Maybe you’ll work.”

She zipped them around for hours. Adam tried to see what was going on in her head but it was all static.

Eventually Lucifer did come home.

Zipping up, Nifty dead stopped in front of him. Lucifer shivered and gave a strained hello. They looked right up at him.

“There’s a second soul in my body.”

“Uuhhh, that’s… nice?” Lucifer responded, unsure.

“See. I told you.” Her shoulders slumped and he could feel the weight of the sadness in her from not being taken seriously.

“Yes. You did.” He and Lucifer said at the same time with differing inflections.

“Uhh, Charlie! Sweetie, your little friend is doing it again.” Lucifer backed up a step uneasily.

Charlie hurried over and cheered Nifty up by asking if she wanted to kill some bugs. Off they went, even climbing in the vents.

Adam complained but Nifty just giggled. After what seemed like forever he could feel their face grin as she looked through a vent straight over a fancy looking bed.

“Almost time.” She ducked back and Adam saw a spell cast in the dirt.

The door opened and he heard the rustling of clothing.

“Nifty?” Lucifer’s voice rang out. “If you’re here come out now and I won’t be angry.”

How often did she spy on Lucifer??

The spell in the dirt glowed.

He heard a sigh of relief and realized the spell was shielding Nifty from Lucifer.

There was more rustling and a drawer opening and closing. Nifty peeked their head up to see again.

Lucifer was completely naked. The vent had a good view of his hard cock and his closed eyes as he touched his chest and dick. Adam couldn’t close their one big eye and he was forced to watch as Lucifer moaned and groped his flat chest.

As a hand slid down slowly to his dick and he pumped it.

Then the buzzing started.

Adam had been transfixed on Lucifer and hadn’t seen the toy.

Lucifer started to tease his ass with the vibrator, pouring a generous amount of lube before pushing it in roughly. “Oh yeah.” He moaned. “Nice and rough. Come on, daddy can take it. Wreck my ass.” He dirty talked himself and fucked himself harder.

Burying it deep inside of him, Lucifer panted.

Nifty undid the latch and Lucifer frozen as Nifty tumbled down onto the bed.

Lucifer let out an indignant scream and tried to cover himself but Nifty was too fast.

“Tag! You’re it!” She shouts and slapped the vibrator deeper into Lucifer.

Adam panicked for a second thinking she was pushing him into Lucifer. Only to realize he was in a dark, warm, space.

Oh no.

He heard Lucifer scream as he/the vibrator was shoved completely inside of him.

“NIFTY YOU CUNT! YOU DERANGED CUNT!” Adam screamed fruitlessly. Knowing he couldn’t be heard.

“Hello?” Lucifer’s voice was muffled. “Is someone there?”

“Lucifer?” Adam tried. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes?… sort of… hang on. I have to get this thing out of me.”

Adam could feel Lucifer’s fingers grasp at the edge of his handle. How Lucifer’s ass squeezed him.

If he could get an erection as a formless invisible soul blob, he’d have one. Lucifer was so tight.

Slowly he was worked out and dropped gently on the bed.

“Okay. What soul is here? And where?”

Adam could see the whole room. The worst part being an object is no direct eyes so he kind of just saw everything. Including Lucifer gaping ass.

“It’s me! You as-“ he almost said asshole, but thought better of it. “Fucker!”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh me! That narrows it down. You’re a bit of a douche bag, you know that? … Adam?”

If Adam jaw could drop it would. “Fuck you!”

“Hey buddy. You survived! Good for you. Now where are you?” Lucifer was looking around the room, not bothering to cover himself.

“Well, you know how you complain about my being a pain in your ass?”

Lucifer’s eyes fell on Adam. “No.”

“You’re a tight bitch. You know that?”

Gold flared over Lucifer’s face. “Oh you fucker! Did you get Nifty to do this?!”

“Ha! No. I don’t like being in objects. I can’t get out unless someone dislodges me. That freak surprised me too.”

They lapsed into silence before Adam asked, “wait, how can you hear me?”

“I’m the king of hell. I have dominion over all the souls in hell. Even the lost ones. I can hear any soul that wants my attention. I don’t usually listen or care. But I can.” Lucifer picked him up. “You know, Nifty kind of interrupted me. How about a little fun before we put you in something more mobile?”

Adam hated that he wasn’t saying no.

Lucifer turned him back on and shoved Adam back into his ass. Adam enjoyed that tight heat more than he should have. He liked the way Lucifer moaned and talked dirty to him.

“God, fuck me, Adam. You’re hitting all the right spots. I wish this was your cock. Fucking me good and deep. I want to feel your cum in me. Making me drip all day.” It didn’t take Lucifer long to cum and he laid there, a moaning mess with Adam still vibrating inside him.

Pulling Adam out, Lucifer had trouble walking straight to the bathroom to clean him off.

“So did you get anything from that?” Lucifer asked earnestly.

“Metaphorical blue balls. I can’t cum but apparently I can get turned on.”

“I got a few more toys we can play with. See if we can get you over that edge.” Lucifer ran is hands over Adam and bit his lip. His dick was already starting to harden again.

“I’d rather have a body back.”

Lucifer hummed and went to the bedside table. “Sure but I’ll have to figure out how. In the meantime. How about meeting my friends?”

He opened a drawer and Adam saw a bunch of sex toys.

Reaching in, Lucifer rummaged around. “I promised you something more mobile right? So let’s save that fleshlight for later, when I can fuck you. If it has a battery can you move?”

Adam tried it and turned himself on and back off. “Seems so.”

“Oh that’s hot. Okay. Butt plug it is.”

Adam didn’t have time to protest as Lucifer knocked him into the new toy. Quickly he found himself back in Lucifer.

“Okay. Now you can have some fun. I’m going to get dressed and go down for some dinner, then look up some spells. Feel free to turn yourself on, it has some speeds and even some small thrusting. Just have fun driving me nuts as I try to keep a straight face in front of everyone. See if you can get off. Feel free to get nasty too. I’m the only one that can hear you anyways.”

“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.” Adam grumbled.

“You can always say no.”

“Well, let’s not go crazy here.” Adam could spend a few hours teasing Lucifer in front of a crowd.

See if he could humiliate the guy. Get him to cum in from of his kid. “Anything off limits?”

“Haven’t found any yet. But how about I mention Nifty got into my room again if I hit one?”

“Fucking deal.”

[boldlyvoid]

36 Questions to Fall in Love

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn

word count: 8K

A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article

Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.

“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”

Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.

You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.

She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.

“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”

A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.

“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.

“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.

—

Woo her.

The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.

She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.

She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.

She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.

“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.

“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.

“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.

She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.

“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.

“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.

“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.

“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”

“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”

She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”

Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”

“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”

“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.

He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.

“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.

“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.

They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.

“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.

“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.

He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.

She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.

“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.

“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”

“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.

“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”

He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.

“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”

He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”

He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”

He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”

“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”

She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”

He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.

“Love?” He repeats the word.

“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.

“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”

“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.

“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”

“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.

“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”

“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”

“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”

She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.

He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.

“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”

“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”

“That’s incredibly fair.”

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.

“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”

She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”

“Like Penelope?”

She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”

“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”

“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”

“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.

“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.

“Nobody dies.”

“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.

“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”

“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”

“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”

He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”

“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”

“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”

“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”

She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.

“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.

“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—

“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”

He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”

“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”

“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”

“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”

“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”

“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”

“What did it feel like?”

She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.

“Warm.”

“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”

“Like a hug.”

Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”

“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”

“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.

“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.

“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”

“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.

To scare him and see if he still stays.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?”

“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”

She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”

“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.

“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”

“Yes…”

“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”

“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”

“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”

“How so?”

“It only took me 9.”

It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.

“No, I walked over.”

She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”

“Are you living with Penelope?”

“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.

Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.

“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”

“Have you ever watched star trek?”

She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”

“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”

“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.

“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”

She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.

“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.

“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”

“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”

“Why?”

“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”

He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.

“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.

“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”

She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.

“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”

“Was he good to you?”

“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”

“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”

“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“

“I’m so sorry.”

He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”

She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.

“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”

They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.

“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”

“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”

They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“If I get to have kids.”

She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”

“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.

“Sleep beside the love of my life.”

“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.

“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.

He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”

“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.

“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.

“Penelope.”

“Derek.”

“Most treasured memory?”

“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”

“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”

“Most terrible memory?”

“My parents dying.”

“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”

She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”

“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”

“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”

“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”

“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.

“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”

She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”

“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.

“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”

“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”

“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”

He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”

“You’re very caring,” she replies.

“You see beauty in the world still.”

She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.”

“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.

“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”

“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”

“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”

“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”

“Me too.”

“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”

“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”

“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”

He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”

“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.

“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”

“We are both hopeful.”

“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.

“We are,” she agrees with another smile.

“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”

“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”

“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”

It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”

“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”

“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”

She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”

He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”

She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”

“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”

She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”

“Tell me what you like about me already?”

Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”

His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”

She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”

“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”

“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.

“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.

“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.

Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”

“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.

“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”

He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”

“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”

“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.

“The book Maeve gave me.”

“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”

“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”

“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”

“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”

She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.

“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.

“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.

“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”

“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.

Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.

It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.

“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.

He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”

“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”

“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”

—

When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.

It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.

“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.

“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”

“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”

“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”

“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.

“Do you use it on many people?”

“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.

“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.

She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”

He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”

“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”

“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”

“Why?”

“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”

She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”

“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.

“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”

“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”

“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”

“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.

“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.

His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.

“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”

She comes back in then, “yes?”

“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.

“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”

And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?

“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”

She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”

“You’re right,” he smiles.

This was going to be interesting.

—

Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.

At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.

Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.

“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”

JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.

“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”

She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”

“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”

Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”

They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.

She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.

—

She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.

“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.

Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”

Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”

“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.

“Are you trying?”

He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”

Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.

“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”

He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.

—

When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.

They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.

To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[stanknotstark]

Truth Serum

Hello everyone! My name is Amber and I’m not new to writing however I am new to actually posting my writing but recently I really got back into Loki with all the trailers dropping and stuff and I’ve had so many ideas crossing my mind so I figured I’d write some of my ideas out and post them here! Honestly this is my first time writing for Loki so he might be a bit OOC until I really get him under my buckle! This piece doesn’t have a lot of Loki in it because I’m also testing out writing with more than two people getting focus so I apologize in advance but I’ll probably write the 2nd piece tomorrow where Loki confronts ‘you’. Enjoy! Gif not mine!

You had just finished sweeping and mopping in Tony’s lab because there was glass on the ground. The only abnormal thing was that there was opalescent liquid in-between all the broken glass, your guess was that it must have been in some vial for safe keeping meaning you should have been careful. 

Should. Key word right there.

Realizing you had gotten some of the mystical liquid on yourself you quickly finished up cleaning then found Tony who was visiting with Steve in the living room. 

“Tony, Tony, Tony,” You incessantly said in a sing song voice as you approached, “Heya, Stevo.”

“Look there was a broken vial in your lab and you know I was down there for my blueprints and while cleaning said broken glass the liquid might have touched my skin....”

Tony frowned and Steve’s eyes widened and looked at Tony.

“Listen just tell me if I’m dying or not?”

Tony stood there staring at your face for another few seconds before you literally saw the realization hit him like a bus. Tony smiled.

“You know I’ve always had this question in the back of my brain since you said your blueprints were apparently....’Only meant for clearance level 10s’ I think I remember you saying...”

You frowned at Tony and shrugged, “I mean...no one is level 10 so don’t be offended...What does that have to do with this?”

“What exactly are those precious blueprints?”

You were going to give a witty remark but suddenly it was like word vomit and you couldn’t stop the next words from flowing out of your mouth, “They’re a new helmet I’m making for Loki that include audio, kinda like headphones, so he can listen to his favorite Mid-guardian books while on missions with us.”

Tony smirked which then turned into a full on smile before letting out a laugh. Steve looked at you with a confused puppy look on his face. You, unfortunately, realized what that liquid was.

“Tony I swear to God if that liquid I touched was a truth serum I’m literally going to castrate you!”

Tony, still laughing, put his hands up in a surrendering way and shook his head.

“I’m not the one that decided to clean up a mysterious liquid in my lab, of all places, without proper cleaning gear!”

At this point everyone in the room was looking at you three. Natasha and Clint were on one couch in the living room, Loki sat with his legs criss cross, back to the window overlooking NYC, and Wanda and Vision sat on the opposite couch from Natasha and Clint. The only two missing were Thor and Bruce. Much to your luck as you looked around at everyone, you realized they all overheard Tony because they all had mischievous smirks crossing their faces.

“STOP! I’ll answer questions BUT nothing too personal please...” You said putting on your best puppy eyes and giving an exasperated sigh. Surprisingly enough you looked at your crush, Loki, and saw he was the only one without a mischievous smirk, for once. He did however put down the book he had been reading and instead had a focused look on his face as he played with the green magic floating between his hands. No one else paid him any mind though.

“Who’s your favorite Avenger?” Natasha shot out leaning back into the couch with a smirk.

“Tony.”

“YES!” Tony shouted pumping a fist into the air.

“Why?” Natasha asked.

“Because he’s like a dad to me, not to mention he makes us really cool gear meaning I don’t have to slave away in the lab by myself anymore.” You rolled your eyes as you finished the sentence. Tony beside you pulled you into a gut crushing hug and said, “Awe, FRIDAY can you put up adoption papers on my computer in the lab and set a reminder to fill them out later today?” 

“Tony, stop, God, you’re embarrassing.” You pushed from his hug, blushing. 

“For some reason I’m not really surprised.” Nat said shrugging. 

You giggled and made your way to the middle of the room, taking a seat in an available love seat, Tony and Steve coming to stand behind it. 

Next Wanda sat up with an excited look on her face and asked, “Who do you think is the strongest Avenger?” 

Thor walked in and gave a hearty chuckle, “Me, of course!”

“No, actually, I think it’s a tie between you, Wanda, and Loki.”

“What, no no, surely you’re mistaken, dear?” Thor said now chuckling nervously.

Steve smiled over to him and shrugged, “No, Thor, she accidentally touched a truth serum, this is as honest as she’ll ever be buddy.”

“Why am I one of the strongest Avengers?” Loki asked, his hands still playing with the magic but his complete attention on you.

“Your magic may not be on Wanda’s par, at least what I know about it, but you’ve endured quite the amount of emotion grief and came out on top so I guess I see you as the strongest, emotionally...” You finished with a wince since it kind of aired out Loki’s dirty laundry and was a bit mushy if you were being honest. Loki hummed but went back to focusing on his magic. 

Thor frowned then a happy look over took his face, “Are you in love with anyone in the room?”

“Whoa!”

“Thor!”

“Wait, Thor!”

You laughed out loud and let the answer go freely, unconsciously glancing back to Loki who wasn’t looking at you but had a raised brow and seemed to only be half focusing on the green magic cloud in his hands, “Yes.”

“Thor buddy that’s a bit personal.” Tony said, an eyebrow raised in a disappointed dad sort of way. 

“My apologies!” Thor said making his way to the kitchen, “I hear a Poptart calling my name, perhaps a smores today.”

“Is it fair to say we may ask questions about this love interest considering it’s one of us?” Vision asked with a vexed look on his face. 

Loki cleared his throat and everyone gave him attention, “Perhaps we should keep that as a restricted topic considering she did say nothing too personal?”

You weighed the pros and cons in your head, while you were nervous for Loki to find out it was him maybe this was the way to get it out in the open. Lord knows you would take advantage of it considering every time you spoke with Loki nowadays you turned into a blabbering mess and tended to leave every conversation read in the cheeks from fluster and embarrassment. 

“I don’t mind you asking questions but don’t out right ask me his name.” You said deciding to get this over with. 

“Well we can cut out Natasha and Wanda then.” Tony said catching onto you saying him. “Reindeer games what on Earth are you doing anyways?”

Loki glanced at Tony and smirked, “Nervous?”

Tony frowned and backed up a bit, “You know, I wasn’t but I am now...”

Loki chuckled and went back to focusing on his magic flowing freely between his fingers and pulsing between his hands now, “Nothing that will harm anyone, Stark, don’t get your britches in a bunch.” 

You smiled at Loki then looked around at everyone, “Ok, hit me!”

“I know you said don’t ask a name but you did just say Tony was a father figure I was hoping you didn’t...” Clint started and ended softly with fear in his eyes.

Seeing as it wasn’t a full question you didn’t feel word vomit coming up but decided to play around with Clint since he never ceased to prank you all the time.

“I might have a daddy kink...” You said looking up at Tony, trying your best to give him a lustful look but couldn’t hold in your laughter when Clint started gagging, “No, Clint, it’s not Tony.”

You laughed a bit when you heard Tony let out a heavy sigh of relief. You then brought a hand up and covered your giggle when Clint said a tiny, “Oh thank god.”

“I swear, it better not be Vision, he’s mine!” Wanda said suddenly with wide eyes.

“Not vision.” You responded. 

You could feel Tony’s fingers behind you rhythmically tapping on the leather love seat, showing his growing impatience. 

“It’s not Steve, Tony.” You said trying to placate the man since he had told you in confidence that he was trying to find a good way to ask the man out. 

“You realize that only leaves Clint...and me, right?” Loki said with an unsure smirk. You gave the man a smile and stood up. Loki had finally finished playing with his magic, halfway through you realized what he had been doing seeing as you felt the truth serum slowly letting up in you. He had finally worked out the chemicals from your system and you were back to normal. 

“Unfortunately I’m not outright telling you all who it is, if you haven’t been paying attention to me recently that’s on you.” You said before heading towards the kitchen, Loki still smirking as he watched you walk away.

“I feel a smores Poptart calling my name too.” 

After you had disappeared Clint cleared his throat and looked at Loki, “It’s totally me, sorry i mean have you seen these guns, Loki? You have nothing on me.”

Loki chuckled and picked his book back up, “I think I have more to offer than you think Clint, but keep telling yourself it’s you if it helps that mortal brain of yours sleep at night.” 

[shorkbrian]

OOOOO okok.... kirishima with a darling who’s his study partner by chance (college) and he just like,,, falls in love with them! but she have a boyfriend so :(((( but he decides the best idea is the take her by the hair and “lovingly” fuck his new little girlfriend, even though the cries pouring out her mouth are anything but... and he just. forces her to be his girlfriend and you’re just miserable babey

Bro bro bror bror b rorr bor rbro rbo

Prelude - He’s like a stereotypical jock, but is super kind and friendly and just a big HIMBO lololol.

Pairing - Kirishima X Reader

Prompt - At the top

Warnings -  NSFW, full non-con here folks. Kirishima doesn’t let reader tell him no. That is NOT cool y’all. Consent is always required.

Music -  https://youtu.be/2k5w6eTxGXk 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’re good at most subjects but this one just really flies over your head. When you went to the teacher, she paired you up with the only other person in the class that seemed to be having trouble, Kirishima. The teacher figured that the two of you could work through the material together.

You didn’t mind. Kirishima seemed like a decent guy, even though he was very physically intimidating. He was on the football team, built like a literal brick wall, but his personality was sunshine and rainbows. The man always greeted you with the brightest smile when you showed up to study.

For the most part, the two of you struggled to get work done. Kirishima could do no more than three problems before getting frustrated or bored, and he’d start making funny faces at you, maybe kick your shins underneath the table to get you to pay attention to him. When you finally looked up to see him with his face contorted in the weirdest way possible, you’d burst out laughing. That’s how the two of you got kicked out the library for a month, had to meet at a coffeeshop to study.

Kirishima liked coffee so sweet that it made you sick, almost gagging after taking a sip of his drink when he offered. Likewise, Kirishima couldn’t stand your tea, said it tasted like “old lady water” and needed sugar. You learned a lot about each other, and eventually reached the point were you would consider the two of you to be friends.

You were friends. Until he decided you weren’t`

——

Today you two are in the library, both of you struggling over your worksheets. A tapping on your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your boyfriend, and you were promptly hopping to your feet, smiling and hugging your boyfriend. He wanted to come see you, spend his lunch break together, so you had told him to meet you in the library, where you and Kiri had rented a study room.

“Midoriya! Hi baby.”

With a kiss on the cheek, your boyfriend was b lushing, pulling out a chair at the table so he could sit down. “Hey, who’s this?”

He was gesturing to Kirishima, who was glaring at your boyfriend. That was odd. Usually the redhead had no problem meeting new people, maybe he was just grumpy because he was trying to study?

“Oh, this is my study buddy, Kiri. Kiri, this is my boyfriend, Midoriya!” Midoriya nodded at Kirishima, and Kiri gave a flick of his head in return, before hunching over to scribble furiously at his paper. Yeah, he was definitely irritated at having his studying interrupted. Unusual, but you figured you should be supportive of the redhead taking his studies seriously.

“Hey babe, let’s go eat out in the courtyard - I don’t wanna make Kiri uncomfortable.”

Your boyfriend nodded, getting up from the seat he had just plopped down in, before giving a sheepish wave to the as the two of you exited the room.

“I’ll be back, sorry!”

you whisper-yelled to Kirishima before the door swung shut.

There was small talk as you and your boyfriend made your way to the pretty courtyard of the college, filled with flowering trees and cozy benches for couples (like yourselves) to sit on.

It was peaceful, sitting there, chatting with your boyfriend while he shared his sandwich with you. He was working as an intern for a big engineering company, and you could tell he was happy about his work as he animatedly recounted what he had done so far that day, pausing every now and then to gulp down a bite of sandwich.

But as all good things must end, your boyfriend had to leave after his lunch break was up, checking the time on his watch and gasping as he realized he had spent way too much time talking to you.

He apologized profusely for his abrupt exit, giving you a brief, slightly messy press of his lips against yours before he gathered his bag, shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. Midoriya waved, skipping backwards, making you chuckle when he tripped and almost fell.

You loved your boyfriend, thought of yourself as the luckiest girl for getting together with the kindest, sweetest man you had ever met.

——

Returning to the private study room, You were surprised to see Kirishima still hunched over his paper, still scratching out numbers. His grip was white-knuckled on the pencil.

“Uh, Kiri? You okay dude?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever, I’m fine.” He didn’t sound fine. The man sounded angry.

Figuring he just maybe needed some space, you shrugged “... I need to go get a book real quick. Need anything?”

“No.”  Was his short reply.

Kirishima was normally a bubbly, friendly person. Why was he so irritated all of a sudden? Did this have something to do with your boyfriend interrupting the study session? 

You pondered over this as you walked through the shelves, partly glad that you weren’t having to dodge other students. You and Kiri usually choose times that the library was relatively empty, just in case the redhead made you choke in laughter again. 

Finding the aisle your book should be in, you meandered slowly to the end, scanning the shelves. Ah! There it was, on one of the higher shelves - but luckily you could still reach if you went on your tippy-toes.

A  big hand slipped around your waist, and suddenly you felt cool air on your backside, as if someone had flipped up the edge of your skirt. You tried to whirl around, smack whichever dumb idiot thought it’d be funny to feel you up, but you were pushed up against the bookshelf before you had the chance, shelf almost rattling with the force.

“Hey—!” Another hand clamped over your mouth, smothering your rather loud protest. The giant hand covered more than half of your face, and you couldn’t help but gasp. Was this really happening? Were you really about to get groped by some meathead senior?

“I’m really disappointed (Y/N).”

Wait.

“I thought what we had was special, thought that I was the only one you looked at like that. That hurts.”

Kirishima?

The hand on your waist dipped lower, and yup - he had flipped your skirt up, was running his hand the top of your panties, feeling the fabric between his fingers. You struggled - tried to kick back, headbutt him, twist out of his grip - but the man was too big. He slipped a finger underneath the elastic waistband of your panties, pulled it back, let it go so it could snap against your skin; make you flinch.

“Newsflash (Y/N), your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t actually love you. You could do so much better than a little Twink like him. You need a real man, someone who can take care of you and give you what you need, give you anything you want.” What was he talking about? The hand at your mouth was clamping your jaw shut, putting so much pressure against the lower half of your face that you couldn’t even open your mouth, just let out angry whines.  When his other hand traveled around to the front of your body, dancing over the flesh of your hip,  you wiggled, trying to put up a fight. It was useless.

Kirishima shoved his hand down your panties, groaning lowly into your ear when his fingers grazed the tuft of curls above your pussy, before dipping further down to stroke gently over your folds. You shivered, angry whines giving way to distressed whimpers, wanting to yell, scream for the librarian that you knew was at their desk. 

You were hanging on his arm, trying to pull his giant hand away from your face, but there was no point. The man spent hours in the gym, building up his muscles to make him better at football, and it coincidentally made him better at holding you against his body while he slipped a finger into your now-wet cunt.

The side of his thumb was flicking at your clit, his middle finger slowly dragging across your walls. You held back a groan when it thrusted in deeper, passing by your g-spot on the way in. Kirishima noticed.

“Did you get tired of waiting for me to make a move? So needy for a cock to fill you up that you ran and got a boyfriend?” What? You shook your head no, but his fingers clenched down tighter over your face, and you froze in pain.  “I was gonna be so romantic for you, get a bunch of flowers and one of those big stuffed bears. Ask you to be my girlfriend.  But you just couldn’t wait, could you? Had to go and ruin everything.”

His voice was low, his breath tickling your ear and making you shiver as he whispered, practically growling. You had never seem him irritated, let alone angry. You were scared. Another finger slipped into your pussy, and you keened, scrabbling at his arm at the sudden stretch. Kiri snickered.

“Gonna have to take a few more to get you ready for me babe, I’m not a little stick like your stupid excuse for a ’boyfriend’.”

Tears sprang to your eyes. You loved Midoriya, had ever since you met him. He was shy and nervous, but he was also sweet. Midoriya would never treat you like this, would always ask if you wanted to make each other feel good, ask before he so much as looked at you. Kirishima was a brute.

Another finger entered you, and while the stretch stung, you also felt pleasantly full. His thumb was still moving over your clit, and with a muffled wail your hips twitched in the air, grinding down on his thumb as you suddenly came.

Kirishima didn’t stop. He huffed out a quiet laugh, gave your a wet kiss against your neck. “See? Knew you were meant for me. I love you baby, gonna make you feel so good.”

Blinking, you were trying to come down from the height of your pleasure, flinching away from Kiri as his fingers slipped out of you. Oh god, you didn’t want him to keep going. Muffled cries left your lips, desperately trying to get Kirishima to stop, slow down, please wait, but the man was determined. Your panties were pulled to the side, and something big nudged against your entrance. 

“Sorry baby-“ Kiri grunted, beginning to inch his way inside your tight pussy. “You’re just so sexy ’n pretty, can’t hold myself back.”

The mushroom head of his cock popped past your opening, and you squealed in pain. You were wailing behind his hand, and the man could feel the tears dripping onto his fingers as he held your mouth shut, could feel your lips moving as you cried “Stop, stop! Hurts, oh god Kiri it hurts.“

“Shit, baby I’m sorry, ‘m sorry.”  Without moving, you heard the sound of him spitting, and then felt his hand bump against where he was connected to you. He had spit in his palm, and was the rest of his girthy cock with the slickness, practically jerking himself off into your cunt. You cried harder.

“Shh, shhh it’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you. You’ll get to cum again, don’t worry. Bet your shrimpy little bitchboy never had you cumming twice, did he?” His voice turned sour at the end of his sentence, filled with venom at the mere mention of your boyfriend. 

Kirishima moaned, wet hand coming to rest on your hip as he slowly, slowly began inching forward, forcing his cock into your body. It still hurt, but not as much as it had at first - the slide easier with the addition of the man’s spit. It felt like he was pushing himself in forever, his cock could’ve been in your throat by the time his balls pressed flush against you

. He was bottomed out, and you were gasping, struggling to suck in air around your sobs and his giant hand. The redhead stilled, allowing the two of you to adjust to the sensation. While he waited, Kiri brought his hand up to your hair, sweeping it away from your neck so he could kiss the tender flesh their, hair still in his fist.

“You’re so good for me, look at you takin’ all of my cock. Fuck, fuck - you feel so warm.” He whined between kisses, pulling your hair to tilt your head back as he kissed towards the front of your neck. You shivered as the pain zinged through your scalp, sharp and prickly.

The man pressed up behind you had waited long enough. With no warning, he drew back his hips - cock sliding out of you. He was so /big/.  You wished he had prepared you more, at least then you wouldn’t be sore as he pressed back into you, setting up a rhythm of slow, long thrusts.

He was pulling your head back by your hair, making your head rest against his shoulder against your will, your hands still clutching desperately at his arm. Shoved against the bookshelf like this wasn’t very comfortable, but neither was getting your pussy wrecked by a man twice your size. 

Gradually, Kiri’s pace increased, your pussy working to lubricate itself and making each rapid thrust end with a squelching sound and the slap of his plump balls against the top of your clit.  Truthfully, Midoriya had never fucked you this good, but you were fine with the young man’s sexual ability. He would finish inside you, then lick out his cum until you were squirming and writhing on his tongue, and then Midoriya suck at your clit, shove his fingers into you and fuck you fast until you squirted, leaving the both of you in bliss.

Kirishima had carnal desire, sucking dark marks into the column of your throat, accidentally tugging your hair on each thrust, making you climb further onto your tiptoes to try and alleviate the pressure. He was getting rougher, throaty moans being punched out of him on each thrust - the man tried to quiet himself down by burying his face into the crook of your neck, biting down onto your skin. It just made you sob harder, the pain and pleasure mixing and sending you hurtling towards another orgasm.

And then he slammed into you so hard that your feet lifted off the ground, your body held up by his hand in your hair and the cock filling your pussy. A wail escaped you, his hand silencing it, and you came, twitching in the big man’s hold. 

“Oh, fuck, oh my god baby you’re so amazing oh my god, oh my god-“ Your toes brushed against the ground again. Kirishima was slouching his back so he could pummel into your smaller form even harder, babbling into your shoulder as his hips stuttered when he reached his own orgasm.

You sobbed as you felt his warmth filling your insides. 

Kirishima stayed there, leaning his head against your shoulder while he sucked in air, breathing raggedly. On every sob, you could feel his length inside you, and you were so disgusted.

His breathing evened out. Your sobbing quieted down into measly sniffles. Kiri let go of your hair, scratching at your scalp to alleviate the stinging sensation that he knew he must’ve caused by pulling on the strands.

“I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth now, can you be quiet for me?” You nodded, and the brushing grip was released from your face. 

You stayed silent, hand coming up to massage at your jaw where his big fingers had dug into the tender flesh.

“Good. Wanna go back to my dorm to clean up?”

Shaking your head, you barely choking out a panicked “N-no!”, almost forgetting to be quiet in your haste to respond.  Kirishima sighed behind you, pressing his chest against your back as he did so.

“Baby, I said I was gonna take care of you. I wanna take care of you. We’re going back to my dorm.”

He slowly slipped out of you, wincing as the air hit his dick.  With his length leaving you empty, Kiri smoothed your panties back into pale, then wiped his cock on the underside of your skirt before tucking it back into his pants. You wished you hadn’t chosen a skirt that morning when you were getting dressed.

Without another word, Kiri gently turned you around to face him, his eyes filled with a warmth that they always seemed to hold whenever the two of you locked eyes during a study session. His big arms encircled you, pulling you into his broad chest as he squeezed, the hug surprisingly gentle, almost calming. It would have been an amazing hug, if only the man hadn’t raped you beforehand.

  A jacket was being wrapped around  the bottom half of your legs, Kiri securing it so that you wouldn’t flash anyone when he picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style. You rubbed at your eyes, trying to scrub away the tears as your ex-friend carried you towards the library exit, smiling down at you fondly.

“I love you, you know that? I’m gonna take such good care of you baby.” You ignored him.

“And don’t worry about your old boyfriend, I’m going to talk to him and break the news that you aren’t interested in him anymore. You’ve got something much better now.”

[thebeautysurrounds]

THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEVER HAVE I EVER S2 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is quite long I had a lot to unpack.

Since watching the 2nd season of Never Have I Ever a few things have been bothering me about the way people are reacting to Devi, and the show overall but mostly Devi. First of all she’s what a sophomore in high school? and she’s doing this all while being the only brown girl (up until kinda the middle of S2) and still dealing with grief and having absolutely no idea who she is yet. To me outside of being an honor roll student she is not doing things FOR HER she is doing this to appease her mother. Who while she means well pushing Devi to succeed to certain extremes which if Devi shows the slightest behavior of fucking up her mother makes harsh comments instead of understanding Devi is a literal teenager and needs room for fucking up.

Is Devi hella unreasonable at times? YES does she often times act strictly on impulse without a second thought…YES. But as a girl who virtually has no one outside of her friends who also are staring to drift from her and get into their first relationships themselves and have their own activities she essentially is left to navigate the world and her teenage angst alone. While I will give Nalini credit for all the work and time she has put in to not only being a single mother and navigating her own grief but also being a working mother who is a doctor and quite possibly has her own struggles with being a brown women in that filed. My problem lies with her not being able to balance or even let go of a strong arm parenting style that mostly focuses on Devi’s fuck up more than her accomplishments and makes comments on how her fuck ups that haven’t even happened yet. I’m not sure Nalini even realizes Devi is at the very very top of her class because I truly believe (after S1) even though Nalini apologized to Devi Nalini has a ‘hoping for the best but expecting the worst’ attitude when it comes to Devi and that’s in the for front of her mind so much she doesn’t realize Devi goes above and beyond not only for herself but to make her mother proud of her all for her mother to just not acknowledge that.

Now with Devi’s characterization I get where some people are coming from on saying Devi shouldn’t have been “boy crazy” or that they “ruined her character development” but here’s my problem those critiques while valid and your allowed to have those opinions…It’s just not really realistic and let me tell you why like I stated Devi is what a sophomore in high school and she has made it a abundantly clear her parents forbid her to date cause it’s school and extra curriculars only. Which will lead to a good college which thus will turn into a good career. While that’s all well and good. I don’t think y’all realize the FOMO of being in high school and growing up with very strict parents, and wanting to have your first relationship. Wanting to be an actual teenager and not wanting to think about 3-4 years down the line which most teenagers don’t/can’t visualize cause it’s not the right now. Devi wants to have those experiences and there’s nothing wrong with that does she go about it the right way…not exactly but y’all act like YOU have never been a teenager and said and done awful things out of anger or just pure immature stupidity. For the boy crazy part Devi is literally having her first feelings and experiences with boys she has 0 clue what she is doing outside of probably books, tv, movies and what her friends assume they know (even though they mean well) the only person Devi would remotely trusts is gone, and she can’t ask her mother cause her mother would honestly probably shut her down and make her feel guilty for even wanting to start having her first experiences with boys. Y’all have such a warped view of not only real teenagers and high school aged kids but also fictional ones. Y’all are so use to shows having protagonist being awful or starting off kinda okay but then their character turns awful and remains that way. What some of you fail to realize is actual teenagers and “teenagers” in shows can/are VERY morally grey. 

Should Devi have been honest and possibly communicated to both Ben and Paxton that she has some sort of feelings for them both..possibly but Devi is a teenager do you think she is having a in depth analysis and talk with herself (outside of a pros and cons list) about what infatuation versus lust versus genuine connection versus romantic attraction looks like probably not. Let’s also analyze how she literally goes from being in her eyes forgettable to being noticed and even though it’s not talked about in the show explicitly she honestly probably struggles with self esteem/self image issues. To go from being a girl who to her no one cares about/notices to one who is getting the attention of two boys who are in Devi’s eyes attractive in their own right. She is so consumed with two guys ACTUALLY being interested in her that she fails to realize she is/and will hurt them both, Do I think Paxton is genuinely attracted to Devi…maybe. But I’m still on the fence about their relationship to me in the beginning I felt Paxton felt Devi is just another meaningless high school fling that he will forget about once he gets to college but to Devi here’s this guy who is “popular” very attractive and he pays attention to her is she looking at the semantics of the situation and how Paxton is more than likely just using her and is only engaging with Devi to get a passing grade and to basically give her the superficial experience of a “high school boyfriend” no she’s not she’s looking at it like here’s this guy who is attractive and he wants to be with someone like me. But do I also believe Devi in S1 was using Paxton and then fell for him DEFINITELY but I will give credit to Paxton for trying at a real relationship with Devi and I hope he will try to be more open and honest.

Do I think Ben likes Devi I honestly do, While the insensitive jokes (exchanged between both) should be discussed I think Ben over time started to see Devi as a girl who finally saw him not the rich, annoying, know it all. But in his view Devi and him are on equal playing fields because they are both overly driven smart individuals and when she said yes to going out with him it was probably the first time he felt like a girl saw the real him. While Ben too more than likely struggles with abandonment issues him dating Devi in a way made him feel like this was the first time he could actual be happy about something cause it was something he actually wanted and not something he just did to earn points in others books and impress people he genuinely got something on his own and that he was actually happy not a front he put on. To me Ben’s abandonment issues come out even more than in S1 when he tells Devi why he’s so hurt and it’s the night of the party when she runs after Paxton (who he sees has it all) and Devi doesn’t “choose him” Do I think Ben and Devi should date cause they share some form of the same trauma no. But again Devi is not use and doesn’t even know what to do with the attention of two people. Again is Devi looking at the semantics of her relationship with Ben…No. I don’t think Devi even realizes she’s quite literally hurting two people cause we could also discuss how Ben and Paxton probably have had other flings and relationships without a second thought while Devi having no relationship experiences and this is territory for her and she has no idea what she is doing or how to properly navigate this situation.

I’m almost done with this long ass rant I promise but it’s two more things I want to make light of/point out I don’t think anyone really gives Devi credit for still going to therapy, loosing a parent is unbearable especially loosing one as young as Devi did, especially when you feel the only parent that truly understood and supported you is gone. Devi doing things that are impulsive and unreasonable because she quite literally has no guidance her mother is only consumed with Devi not making the family “look bad” Devi’s grief is so heavy and she feels she’s going at it alone because her mother doesn’t take genuine time to talk to her. Now was Devi “stalking” her mother extremely inappropriate yes for sure but do Nalini and her need to communicate better for Devi to understand that her mother wasn’t dating sure even if Nalini was on a date their should have been communication there. Devi will probably never stop grieving her father hell he literally came to her in a dream to tell her she deserves better when it came to “dating” Paxton and Nalini will probably never stop grieving her husband but she deserves happiness too and I believe if Devi and Nalini were both honest with each other her slowly dating again wouldn’t have been a problem. Another point I wanna make connecting Devi, Paxton, and Ben is they all have this view that the grass is greener on the other side and that’s just not the case. Ben is jealous of Paxton cause he feels he has the “Perfect life” but in actuality Paxton is extremely flawed and honestly insecure his own family doesn’t believe in him and he knows people only like him because he is attractive, while Paxton looks at Ben like this, while annoying Ben is smart, rich, and no one ever questions Ben’s intelligence but in actuality Ben is very lonely and has spent most of his life alone or being raised by other people which has caused him to put on a huge front to people and often times overcompensate in his social life, and Devi looks at other girls like they have it all and have 0 struggles or problems (I.e her views on Anissa) but Devi fails to realize thy also struggle, are insecure, is struggling with mental illness, and don’t have themselves figured out, and Devi is looking at this man her mom is “dating” as if he’s taking something away but In actuality he is experiencing his own losses. All in all Never Have I Ever gets teenage angst and messy problematic morally grey teenagers right and the fact that y’all beg for more “flawed or problematic” characters and when you get them you don’t like that they are just that it’s odd to me it seems like y’all only want problematic characters if it’s how you see fit.

TL;DR: Y’all need to stop acting like y’all weren’t gross annoying and had fuck ups as teenagers y’all should really stop pretending like teenagers in real and some of us as teens didn’t have/engage in relationships that weren’t good but we learned from it while this show isn’t real it shows y’all will scream let people fuck up and let them grow but you don’t actually mean it. Devi is a teenager and requires room to grow she even admits she acts out and is impulsive but y’all act like she’s supposed to have the self awareness of a 60 year old.

[costellos]

anonymous said: i can’t choose so mamihlapinatapei or retrouvaille for nanamin? 💓

a/n: ooo! both very good choices!! I decided to go with mamihlapinatapei since I had an idea for it first. I also added Gojo to the mix because I’ve been craving a good love triangle, and this was the perfect opportunity to write that. I hope you don’t mind; thank you for the ask!

tw: mentions of blood and stitches in Nanami’s part.

ask game: one-word ideas for when you’re feeling stuck (closed!)

disclaimer: I’m anime-only, so apologies if my character interpretations aren’t accurate!

❥ ┋ ❝ gojo, nanami, & how you know they’re in love!

mamihlapinatapei (yagán, n.) - the wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to do so.

gojo satoru.

to be honest, it’s hard to tell whether or not Gojo is romantically interested in you. he won’t treat you much differently if he’s pining for you. in fact, his constant attention isn’t far off from how he treats anyone else.

at least that’s how it starts. he’ll tease you and take your things to get your attention. but if you pay him mind, Gojo will escalate things in a much quieter way.

he invites you to spend time with him alone. it’s not that odd, it’s just a meeting between two colleagues. sometimes it’s to offer constructive criticism to your teaching methods, sometimes it’s because he stopped by the convenience store and the clerk “accidentally” gave him two custard buns. ↳ “by the way, what’s your favorite flavor? no reason, just curious!”

then it starts getting more intimate. he’s a pro at making things seem natural. before you know it, you’re sitting with him in his office playing shogi. although it comes off as a friendly game between two coworkers, Gojo’s using it as a way to understand what kind of person you are. will you sacrifice your pieces in a valiant effort to win? will you play strategically to minimize losses? how much do you think before every move?

he can immediately tell that Nanami is interested in you, too. it’s not hard to pick up. over ten years of working together have shown Gojo that his partner is awful at hiding his feelings. but besides that, why wouldn’t he like you?

he tries butting in between you and Nanami. it starts as a way to tease his colleague (and as a very tiny way of getting closer to you), but like everything about Gojo Satoru, it escalates to something bigger. because while it may not seem like he’s envious, Gojo is horribly envious of the time you spend with Nanami. ↳ “oi oi oi, what’s going on here? he’s not boring you, is he?”

most of that envy comes from being the most powerful sorcerer of his generation. for one thing, he has his own lofty goals to accomplish. for another, he’s responsible for mentoring the literal vessel of a murderous tyrant. there’s not a lot of time for Gojo Satoru to be a normal 20-something. and sometimes, he really hates that.

that’s why he’s continuously trying to maximize his time with you. inviting you to his office for a game of shogi, tagging along on your missions, interfering in your time with Nanami... it’s selfish sure, but can’t he have a moment to be selfish?

he realizes that you’re in love with him too while playing shogi. it’s shortly after 5 PM and you’re sitting in his office, playing shogi as you typically do. you make some comment about how the sun seems to be setting later and later, that you’re glad that spring is around the corner. it’s at that moment that Gojo looks up, ready to make some witty quip about your observation, when he just. stops. and looks at you. the sun casts a perfect gleam on your skin, hitting all his favorite parts of your face in a golden haze. your eyes reflect every bit of light, as if to cast the entirety of the sun back at him. you’re smiling. he always thought that romance movies were a bunch of mumbo jumbo. he never understood why Itadori seemed so into them, right behind action flicks. but sitting here, observing you, helps him understand them a little better. ↳ “hey, [Name]? let’s... let’s go do something. no, this isn’t an excuse to get out of the game. yeah — I know, you’re winning! that’s not the point, it’s, ah... I’m hungry. come on.”

nanami kento.

for as stoic as he comes off, Nanami is much more obvious with his feelings. he’s still cold, but something about the way he treats you is somehow... less icy.

one of the most apparent ways is how he reacts when Gojo’s around. Gojo butts into the limited time Nanami gets with you, and he does it a lot. he initially tolerated it to paint a better picture of himself (can’t make you think he’s that cold), but. it eventually came to be too much. Nanami started shooing his colleague away after that. ↳ “we’re talking. can this wait?”

he also starts doing more research before your missions. mind you, not missions that you’re teaming up with him on. your missions. he examines what kind of cursed spirit you’re up against, what pros / cons your environment can offer you, stuff like that.

but he’s not overbearing about it. he knows that you’re a capable sorcerer. he just likes to be prepared if, God forbid, something were to happen to you. ↳ “your binding vow might do well if you can bring the curse under the highway. something to consider.”

on that note, he tries bringing you as close to your missions as he can. he always tells Ijichi that he’s going in that direction anyway, that Nanami himself can drive you to wherever you’re going. if either of you protest, he’ll tell you both that it’s not an issue.

however, he won’t offer direct help unless you ask. if you do, he’ll pretend to check his phone calendar, click his tongue, and say he that can make time. (it doesn’t take long for you to notice that he can somehow always spare an hour for you.)

Nanami would never admit it, but he hates how easily Gojo can make you laugh. he hates when he passes by his colleague’s office, because you’re almost always there. and he hates that every time you’re with him, you’re smiling at Gojo the way Nanami wishes you would look at him. Nanami wants to make you laugh too, but he knows that’s just not who he is.

that’s why when he is with you, he tries showing you as much of himself as what’s appropriate. that doting concern before you go off on missions, that availability when you need help, that wit around Gojo  — all equally apart of him, all equally for you.

sure, these are actions that he would demonstrate in front of the kids, too. yet he wants to emphasize that he’s not as unfriendly as he comes off. that tenderness is there and you’ve found it; he’s just bad at demonstrating it outwardly.

he realizes that you’re in love with him too as you patch him up. he stops at the school shortly after his first encounter with Mahito. Itadori is back in the dorms safe and sound, Ijichi has already clocked out; he just needs to stop by Ieiri’s to patch up. but when he gets to her office, she’s already left for the night, too. that’s when he sees you in the corner of your eye. you see his blood-stained shirt. concern immediately floods your face, and a sort of dread fills Nanami’s. he can’t take an earful. not right now. but you don’t say anything. no, you just unlock Ieiri’s office, sit him down, and begin dressing the wound. you handle it so softly, careful not to hurt him more than he already is. and God, it’s such an odd time for him to realize that you’re in love with him. you’re giving him stiches, and when you look up, you flash him the dumbest, most beautiful smile he’s seen. you’re sweating and you’re just as exhausted as he is, yet here you are, smiling at him. ↳ “you don’t have to do this. but I’ll, ah... I’ll return the favor nonetheless. let’s go out sometime. no, not with the others, just... us.”

like this piece? here are some similar works! 🌑 🌒 🌓

[aesthbaby]

Her Secret

Summary: We’re all aware of Emily’s untold secrets that she took to the grave with her but what about Lauren? The one thing both woman have in common is you, and the memories they took with them in both of their deaths

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Reader

Prompt/request: None, just an idea I’ve had in my head for a while.

Warnings: Cursing | Death

Wordcount: Almost 4k

Master List

AN: Time line might be a little spotty because the show did not give many details but I promise its still comprehensible.

Its beautiful for a sad event. The white flowers are such a stark contrast to her personality. The color reminds you of a time before, before they knew her and before all of this happened. One of your eyes feels kind of funny so you reach for it, pulling back to examine the small drop of water on your finger. You compose yourself and push the large, black, sunglasses up your nose. Maybe you shouldn’t be here. You were dressed in all black with a black umbrella. Despite it being a sad day, it was unnecessarily sunny.

You spot her team making their way down the walk way. Three men carrying the dark coffin with one Caned man in the front and the women in tow. You take a step back into the shadows as they near the podium. As the service progresses the amount of speeches and tears are--overwhelming. Images of Emily, once known to you as Lauren, flash across your mind as you hold back any and all emotions associated with this event. 

You knew she wasn't really "dead," she couldn’t be. Emily Prentiss is invincible and would never go like that. You saw the woman known as "JJ" glances your way but she says nothing about it. Probably assuming you were another one of Emily's secrets taken to the grave.

Emily’s not dead. Emily wouldn’t die like that. 

You kept repeating it in your head.

Italy - 2004

The violets surround the mansion like a protective field. Their peaceful existence mocking your volunteer imprisonment. You only took this job because you and this other agent were the only ones who spoke fluent Italian. She was supposed to take it and you were the understudy or whatever but then she got knocked up so here you are. Being mocked by fucking flowers. Your thoughts are interrupted by Doyle approaching you with his brunette arm dealer on his arm. You turn away from the balcony upon his approach.

“Lauren deve restare qui mentre scappo. Per favore, tienila d'occhio.” Lauren has to stay here while I run out. Please keep an eye on her.  He’s always been so bossy, and for what? To make himself seem more powerful than he actually is? We’re all aware of the danger working for him provides.

“Si signore.” Yes sir. You turn to acknowledge the woman in front of you but she speaks first.

“Perché? Non posso venire con te?” Why is that? Can't I come with you? She whines.

He gives her a look and she backs down. The Captain heads out with his guards behind him, leaving you alone with his lover.

You’re not sure what to do with her. Is this a form of  babysitting?

She clears her throat. “I know.”

Hearing her speak English was a surprise but it makes sense, there was always something different about her. You arch an eyebrow and reply, “Sai...che cosa?” You know....what?

She holds up a finger for you to give her a moment. She turns around and sticks her head out the door; then closes and locks it. “You’re not really from Tirana, are you?” Who is this woman? You maintain a neutral face while she continues. “The fact that you never eat with us was a dead give away. You’re always held up in this room.” She gestures to the large room filled with files, records, and books. “Like you’re trying to avoid something. I’d also like to point out how you rarely present any Albanian customs.” Where are you going with this Reynolds... “At first I thought, ‘Maybe they’re one of Doyle’s assassins that I’m not supposed to know about.’ But then I started paying attention and realized you’re nothing like that.” You let out a sharp breath. “Its okay.” She takes one of your hands. “I won’t tell Ian. There’s already enough death in his life and I wouldn’t want to see you be one of his next victims.”

You’re stuck in the moment and words are hard to form. All of your training is slipping through your fingers. For all you know she could be bluffing, trying to get you killed. You go with your safest option because you don’t know this woman at all. You pull your hand from her and take a step closer. Peering into her eyes for any sign of fear and when you find none, you proceed. Leaning in as close as possible to her. “Non farei acquisizioni così pericolose se fossi in te.” I wouldn't make such dangerous acquisitions if I were you. You whisper. You could never be sure if your suspicions were correct but this, this was all the confirmation you needed. What’s that old saying? Takes one to know one. “Agente.” Finishing off that last word you brush past her.

Virginia - present

 Being back in The States with Doyle still running around is unnecessarily risking. Emily’s defeat is the only reason you’ve come back. To watch her team grieve over the coffin is saddening but having to hide is the shadows is unfair. Am I not allowed to publicly grieve? Are my tears not worthy? The grip on your umbrella tightens. She’s not dead. Emily doesn’t loose. Emotions are running high and the speeches are getting long. Last time you talked, she claimed to be alone. No family and no fiends but clearly she was wrong. What you’d give to be laying under a plum tree on a wool woven blanket with her head in your lap. Eating pastries you raided from the kitchen and telling the Captain that you needed her to help analyze costs. What a fool.

You were so entranced with the memory that you didn’t notice when the pale, dark haired agent approached you. Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief if I’m not mistaken. “Agent.” He acknowledges.

“Sir?” You mumble.

“Your profession was easy enough to guess, though I’m not sure of your name.” Those knitted brown sweaters and golden, dainty necklaces. The short chestnut hair with soft curls that smelled of honey shampoo. The way she’d nudge your foot during dinner while casting discreet glances. Its all gone. “Agent?” He calls again. “Are you alright?”

Before you say anything you make sure your voice is clear. “Tell me Agent Hotchner, did she suffer?” That question didn’t need to be answered but you just had to know. A favor was called in on your behalf by Lieutenant Parks, he gave very few details about her death but you’ll take that over nothing at all. This was the one question you didn’t have an answer for. With nothing but silence from the man, you have your answer.

Reaching for your pocket there’s a small clear box; inside of the plastic is a handful of pressed violets. Without looking you hold the slim box out to him. “Please, make sure she gets them.” After he takes them you make one last note of the sight in front of you. All of her friends, family, and coworkers gathered in one place with Emily’s grave as the centerpiece. You turn to finally face the man, tilting your shades so he can see a bit of your eyes. “Dead or alive.” And then disappearing in to the back of the cemetary.

Italy - Spring of 04′

Two months ago you were staring off of Doyle’s Spanish-styled balcony thinking, “What would happen if I called it quits?” You had enough evidence and entail for him to never see freedom again. So what was stopping you?

Her. She was making you second guess.

After having her call you out for being a spy, you were very careful about what you did and said around her. Its not like she had any definitive proof but at the same time neither did you. What you said that day was a total bluff. Its a miracle you’re still alive. You were left with only two conclusions: one was that she herself is a spy, or two, she’s one of the smartest people Ian has ever brought home.

Then came a day where the boys went out to wherever and it was just you, her, and the maids. Most of them are Russian and speak poor Italian so they usually keep to themselves. You’re at the dining room table pretending to run numbers since that’s literally your job- well that and vetting backgrounds of sellers and buyers. Essentially a secretary with dangerous patrons. The position is mind numbingly boring but it does allow you to remain invisible while observing the operation. Think about it, who’s going to notice the secretary while discussing millions? They’re idiots. They allow you to sit in on every single meeting because you’re just the person who runs numbers. A debatable perk to this job is the amount of free time you posses. Usually its spent digging around the operation, sending information back to HQ, or actually enjoying small aspects of the city. That brings you to right now where you’re doodling random shapes on the bottom corner of the paper.

Lauren is on the couch wearing a button up satin dress, quite short for Ian’s taste so you’re surprised to see her wearing it. She’s read something you’ve never heard of, not that it matters. With no idea why she’s in here with you, you retreat back into your own mind.

“The maids have left.” You suddenly hear beside you, nearly jumping out of your skin.

“You scared me!” At the realization of your chosen language you gasp and watch as Lauren smiles widely. You shoot to your feet repeating no over and over. Actively trying to take back your words while she looks rather amused.

“I knew it!” She points at you all accusingly and shit. You keep shaking your head no and trying to get her to be quiet. “I was right about you!” And here’s the perfect time to have a maid to walk in. Lauren says something to her but you’re too wrapped up in your head to translate. All your years of training, expierence, undercover work has just been thrown away over your stupid mistake.

They’re going to kill me. They’re going to have my head on a stake in the middle of the garden for the world to see- or worse! I’ll be tortured for my crimes by one of Doyle’s men.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the brunette waving her hand in front of your face. “Don’t worry,” She say softly as you notice the house keeper is no longer with you. “I told her they could take a break...” At your confused face she continues. “So now we can talk.”

Virginia - present

To say you had no idea where you were going, was an understatement.

You hadn’t been to Virginia in years so everything felt unfamiliar. You took quick peaks at your surroundings as the rented porshe pushed through the traffic. Everything hurt, not the traditional pain you experience over a broken toe but the emotional kind that coursed through your entire body.

Is this what a broken heart feels like?

You kept telling yourself she wasn’t dead; couldn’t be. Not your Emily, the woman you know is a fighter. She’s fucking invincible and would never let herself die at the hand of that monster. If she was really dead, wouldn’t you feel it? Wouldn’t you feel your connection to her sever?

At the reorganization of the build ahead of you, you pull the car into the left lane.

Italy - Spring of 04′

She is so fucking clingy. Always starring at me when no one is watching and going on less missions with Doyle. Speaking of him, the man likes to take her everywhere; calls her “Ho il mio portafortuna” his good luck charm. She usual goes out with him whenever he’s traveling but lately she’s been making little excuses on why she wants to stay for the day. Instead of spending the day recuperating from a headache (like she’s told him) she’ll bother you.

That accent and the way she pronounces her R’s makes you wanna melt, but then she starts asking you a million and one questions. What’s your favorite food? When’s your birthday? Have you ever broken a bone? Do you enjoy reading? Its always something with her. I think she’s trying to annoy me. So far you’ve been answering her questions in Italian to insure that you don’t fuck up again.

Doyle is none the wiser, he still sees you as a secretary and her as arm candy.

But you must admit that Lauren is growing on you. She hasn’t said anything in English to you lately or exposed you to Doyle. You’re rarely ever alone but when you are, she gives you one of her finished books and sits in the room quietly. Its comforting. Today she’s given you Niccolo Ammaniti with a note scribbled in pencil on the 5th page, “Hang in there.” Smart woman, writing it in light pencil so I can easily erase it without leaving a trace...also paranoid woman but rightfully so.

Virginia - present

You adjust your shoe so as not to slip before going into the building and suck the shades into your pocket. The giant letters, I. O. D. S. stare back at you in Ariel font.

Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Just accept her death and move on.

Inside of Investigations of Death Services you nod to the secretary, an ex of yours, and continue on to your destination. While in the elevatored your vision feels blurry but now isn’t the time for tears. Arriving at your floor, you spot his office and walk in without so much as a knock or invitation.

“One second,” he speaks into the phone. “Can I help you?” His dark eyes look angry, like he doesn’t recognize you. You take a step forward, offering your closed palm to him. “What? What is this? A fucking magic trick?” You slowly open your palm towards him, revealing the silver clover pin. The suited man looks like he’s just seen a ghost. “Shane, I’ll have to call you back.” He hangs up the phone, then reaches from you hand. “Where did you get this?”

Snatching you hand back and putting the silver back in your pocket. “You really don’t remember me, do you?”

He narrows his eyes on you before answering. “Can’t say I do.”

“Back in 03′ you knocked up Carin and proposed I go on assignment. Granted I was the only person who was fluent in Italian--or so I thought. Come to find out there were five other agents who could’ve been assigned there. You chose me because I was up for your job.” Your anger is boiling over quickly. “You were a shitty employee and they were ready to fire you.” You take a daring step forward. “Until you proposed infiltrating Valhalla with one of the foreign operative agents. You told them there were only two fluent agents. Back then we had never met but I knew who you were, Hell, we all knew how much of a screw up you were. Guess you don’t recognize me anymore? I mean in your defense its been years and I’ve lost a few pounds due to the stress you caused me but that’s for another day. How about we go back to 2003.” For a man with toxic masculinity issues, he looks pretty scared. “You couldn’t just out right suggest me so you have to offer up someone else. Coincidently Carin got pregnant right around the time she was starting her training, by you I might add, and could no longer go.” A wide smile starts to grow on your face. “Bet you were counting on my death, huh?” Awe poor baby seems to be shaking. “No...you’re too much of a pussy for that. I bet you were hoping I’d go to Italy and screw things up for the whole operation.” Now you’re toe-to-toe with him. “Mess up so bad that they’d have pull me out and demote me. Or! Reveal myself and hope Doyle’s men killed me or I’d go sprinting home with my tail between my legs.” His silence is starting to irritate you. “So which is it, Mark? Hmm? Cat got your tongue?”

“I’m sorry!” He yells with a reddened face. Out of the corner of your eye you see his co-works looking through his glass walls but you couldn’t care less. “I’m sorry, y/n. What do you want from me? I’ll do anything!” Now we’re getting somewhere.

You push the pin into his face “Where is she, Mark?”

“Where is who?” He’s still fucking shaking.

“Asking me another stupid question and there will be hell to pay.” You’re not really going to hurt him but considering the circumstances, this is justified. The man put your life on the line over some stupid position, a bit of threatening wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay okay. All I know is that after you left she was taken by ALPHA and later faked her death. When Lauren Reynolds died, Emily Prentiss got to go home and Ian Doyle went to a North Korean prison.”

“And now...”

“Last I heard she was working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI but was recently killed under suspicious circumstances.” At your expression, he continues. “We know she died during a scuffle with Doyle and there was a funeral but we are yet to have a death certificate on record. Sometimes it take anywhere from a week to a month for us to receive proper records on agent deaths. I thought that-”

“Stop, talking.” You cut him off through gritted teath.

Italy - Autumn 04′

“What is your problem, Lauren?” You’re out on the patio in front of the pool on a warm day. Lauren has a four course meal on the table, courtesy of the chefs.

“Nothing...” She shrugs with a mouthful of strawberry.

“You want me to leave.”

Another fucking shrug.  

“Be serious.” You’re trying to stop yourself from stomping your foot.

She puts down her food and clasps her hands together. “Yes I want you to leave.” You watch as she gets up and smooths her skirt; taking your hands in hers. “Your time is thinning and you’ve been her a lot longer than me.”

“And leave you here alone? No way, I know you’re invincible but even Superman had his down fall.”

“Superman?” She loops you in closer. “Why not superwoman? Awfully sexist of you.”

“Oh, shut up.” You nudge her back a bit. “But wouldn’t you miss me?”

She gives you one of her wide smiles. “Let me show how much I’d miss you.” She leans in for a light kiss against your lips.  You pull away quickly so as not to be seen. El, like the letter, picked out a blind spot that’s covered partially in shadows. “I have to leave in 15 minutes but until then...” She trails with a very telling expression.

“Where?” You laugh. “Not in the second floor bathroom again because that was...tight.”

Her perfectly plucked eyebrow arches upward,  “And you were loud!”

You hop past her to sneak a grape. “Hey! You do know that was mine, right?”

“What are you going to do about it, Superwoman?” You turn to grab another grape, while doing so you feel her presence behind you. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, L.”

“Oh why not?” She lightly trails down your backside. “It’ll be so much fun.”

You turn back to her. “Ten minutes?”

“In the library?” She smirks and you nod along.

Virginia - present

This four hundred dollar airplane ticket is going to serve its purpose but paying it back is going to suck. Your government salary was nice and all but $400 is still a lot.

Just two days before, you rushed around you place to pack all of the essentials for a quick flight to Paris; charger, hygiene, two outfits, and the pin all tucked into a stylish backpack.

That brings us here, standing in the streets of downtown Paris alongside the buzzing mopeds weaving through the streets. In front of you is the little café Elle would go on and on about, naturally this is the first place you could think to look.

You didn’t even know what you were looking for. The woman you fell for was a brunette with light curls and bangs.

You were looking for Emily. The woman Lauren introduced you to. The woman you grew to love in the same way you love Lauren, but Lauren is dead. Has been for awhile, now its time to find Emily. Your Emily.

You find nothing, no one who even slightly revels Emily on your first day there. So you find a hostel to lay your head in and continue on the next day. Again and again with the same routine for five days straight.

You wasted all of your time here for what? A memory? A dream? Two woman who no longer exist on the same astral plane as you?

That’s when you see it, a head of dark brown hair a few tables ahead of where you’re standing. With all hope lost you almost think its a mirage. 

You sit a few tables ahead of her, careful to keep your face hidden. When the waiter comes around to take your order you give him very specific instructions.

Emily’s POV

Being a dead woman is lonely and isolating...at least the coffee is good. The waiter who dropped off the hot beverage not too long ago has circled back with a cheese croissant in hand. That’s odd, I hate cheese croissants. “Cette personne là-bas m'a demandé de te livrer ça.” That person over there has asked me to deliver this to you. He points over his shoulder to a person who’s face I can’t quite make out. “Ils m'ont également demandé de vous donner ceci.” They also asked me to give this to you. He reaches from his front pocket and softly places a silver clover pin that I haven’t seen in years, and a pressed Violet. I can feel the air drain out of my lungs at the objects in front of me. “Merci beaucoup.” The only person who knows what these objects mean are Doyle and-

At the sense of being watched my head shoots up at the source. At first there’s nothing there but then I spot the familiar figure. Its been weeks since I’ve actually seen them, it can’t be. I must be seeing things. Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breathe, I open them to see that they’re gone.

“Boo.” I hear in my right ear; looking up to see y/n standing beside me with a bright smile.

“You scared me!” Realizing how loud I am, I take a breath.

“Miss me Elle?” I left you behind, twice. I died twice without letting you know. You’ve had to start over too many times and its not far.

“Y/n, how did you find me?”

“Really, Elle. Did you really think I’d fall for that party trick you pulled at the BAU? I’m not dull, and besides,” Y/n/n gently puts their hand over mine on the coffee mug. “You’re my Superwoman, you’ll never die.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.

@beyondprincess @confused-and-really-hungry @millipop18 @supercorp8388 @groovygoob  @emilyprentisswife@covetedcoven @justaghostmonument @rabid-wild-misfits @nomit16 @afuckingshituniverse @mys2425  @fanfictionfangirl04  @aaron-hotchner187 @lisztomaniacalice @thestrawberrygirl  @miidguardian-exe @criminalmindsmoodrn @ssacandice-ray @davidrossiismydad @garcias-batcave @ssaemxlyprentxss @andreaxxg13 @emilyprentissistoocute @mortallythoughtfulgurl @iamyouknow-yours @aesthbaby​

[libsterslobsters]

The Wanton Song

Summary: How do you broach the topic of sex with the 90-something super soldier you've found yourself dating? That's the reader's question. Luckily, she and Bucky are no strangers to awkward conversations...

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem!enhanced! Reader

(Reader can see bits and pieces of the future in visions and understands all languages)

Warnings: SMUT, tiny bit of angst, lotsa fluff, maybe some past dub!con if you squint

Author's note: Wow... here I am posting smut on the internet. Never thought that would happen. Tmi, but I'm married, so I have a good amount of sex 🙀 and I actually had a great first time, but some people don't, and that's what I tried to represent. That, and CONSENT!!!! Consent is sexy, y'all. Safe, sane and consensual all day every day.

As always, the reader's name isn't stated so that you can read as a self insert, but I've written so much at this point that I refer to the Reader as Violet in my own mind.

*************************************************

 Life has been going swimmingly these past few months. Better than ever before in fact, or at the very least, better than in a long time. She’s still a fugitive, living life looking over her shoulder, but now she has a steady job, a steady paycheck, and oh yeah, a steady boyfriend. Those three things have never aligned for her before (especially the last one). Overall, she’s pretty happy. But, because she’s her, there’s still a question niggling at the back of her mind.

 The transition from “you’re my only friend” to “we’re together now” went smoothly, helped in part by the fact that Barnes had been at that particular juncture the whole time. From the outside looking in, the only major changes have been the addition of those three simple but very key words and an upping the anti in the cuddles department.

 Speaking of cuddles, that’s a very mild term for what’s going on these days. It starts out innocent enough. The usual location is on the couch at one or the other’s apartment. There hadn’t been much distance between them since that first time where they ended up talking more than watching the movie playing from her laptop, but now, the space is nonexistent. As a general rule, within the first ten minutes, her legs somehow end up over his lap or in some way intertwined with is. The intention is always to pay attention to what’s on the screen but, well, when you’re that close, it would be rude not to snuggle up. And, when the other person looks that damn kissable, it would truly be insulting not to take the plunge.

 Now, considering the angle, one of them has to lean in. Otherwise, it would be awkward. That generally determines who, somewhere from two to ten minutes later, is on top of who. Of course hands wander, and even though it’s understood that the word “no” can be employed at any time and immediately obeyed (not to mention the copious amounts of “Is this okay”’s being asked), she can’t remember a time either of them have said it.

 If she had to attach a term to what comes next, it would be ‘dry humping.’ And then… nothing. It always ends far too soon, leaving her flustered and with her heart racing. At first she thought it was because he simply didn’t want her, but, well, there’s certain physical signs that point to that not being the problem. Her next guess was that he’s simply being respectful. Well, as sweet as that is, she’s ready to get on with it. She’s only human after all, and as such, has needs. Sure, she could take care of them herself, but if she had to guess, he’s experiencing those needs too, and from what she’s heard, it’s more fun to take care of it together.

 The only issue: how the hell do you bring something like this up, especially when the person you’re bringing it up with grew up in a much more repressed era than you did? She’s been debating it for the past week, and despite having multiple visions, none of them have given her that key insight into what to do.

 Finally, she decides to just say it. They’ve made a point to be honest with each other, and it’s probably best to get it out of the way. They’re adults, after all. They can have this discussion. She’s going to come straight out with it.

 “Hey, can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal, and maybe a little uncomfortable.”

 “Sure, Doll.” The response is immediate. “Fire away.”

 Glancing up to make sure they’re not at a pivotal scene in tonight’s movie (they have a system; at his place, watch something he grew up with, at hers, something made literally anytime after 1945), she spits out the whole sentence in one breathless go. “Are we ever going to have sex?”

 It feels like a branding iron where his arm is still wrapped around her shoulder. Still, it’s comforting. At least he’s not moving away.

 “I gotta admit, that’s not the question I was expecting. What brought this on?”

 She shrugs, carefully keeping her eyes trained on the wall behind his head instead of on him.

 “Nothing in particular. Just…” is there a delicate way to put this? “...I think things are going well between us, and sometimes when we’re together… I’ve noticed that there’s a physical response.” She’s really hoping that’ll suffice, because she can’t think of a good way to say “I can feel that you’re hard when you’re on top of me”.

 “Oh.”

 Apparently, her meaning is indeed clear enough, because he removes his arm from her shoulders. She’s about to apologize (all the while mentally berating herself) when his hand closes over hers.

 “I’m sorry about that, Doll. I’ll try to stay calmer.” Wait, that’s not- “It’s just an issue guys have. Don’t think it means you have to do anything that you don’t want to, because I would never-”

 “I know you wouldn’t.” Without thinking, she cuts him off. “And I want to.” It feels like she’s sitting in a sauna, she’s so flustered from this conversation. “But only if you do, and I understand if you didn’t-”

 “No.” It’s abrupt, cutting her off. A definite answer that leaves no room for questioning. “No, I do. I just-” He clears his throat. “-I didn’t want to bring it up, in case we weren’t on the same page. “ This seems to be a recurring theme, so far. “And it’s not a must. If you change your mind-”

 It’s pure instinct. There’s no thought involved as she closes the gap between them, this time with her on top, and presses  her lips against his. The response is immediate and enthusiastic. She considers just going on, not putting a stop to things, but realization hits that, although overall she’s ready for this to happen, she’s not ready for it to happen tonight. There’s still things she needs to take care of. Most importantly, protection.

 So, gasping for breath, she pulls away. “I’m calling for a rain check, but if after that, you still think I’ll change my mind-” she pushes back her hair and forces herself to take a deep breath. “-then you may just be beyond help, Barnes.” If the chuckle is anything to judge from, she’s made her point.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 Wow. Bucky thinks to himself as he exits out of the browser tab on his phone. That’s enough internet for one day. Too much, actually. He knows that it’s the information superhighway, but good god, no one needs THAT much information. He really needs to be more specific with what he googles… or less… or just not at all.

 He’d never admit it (and really, who the hell is gonna ask him anyway), but he spent the last hour looking up how to have sex. He’s engaged in the act before, yeah, but it was seventy years ago. Plus, it used to be this huge taboo thing that you suspected was going on behind closed doors, but no one (not even the married couples) owned up to it. If you were ever found out, there were severe consequences. As a man, he didn’t have to worry as much, but if whoever the woman was had her dirty laundry aired… oh boy. She’d be a pariah, a “scarlet woman”, unfit for marriage or to even give the time of day. That led to limited encounters, and, well, it just seemed smart to brush up on what information is out there. As it turns out, people have written a lot about the fine art of love making. Unfortunately for him, most of it is absolute garbage. Some of the positions he just read about (because at that point, the article was like a train wreck; he badly wanted to look away, but he couldn’t) don’t even sound possible, much less pleasurable. He’s all for society being freer, but good grief!

 He’s halfway through a bottle of straight vodka (it won’t have any effect, but he’s hoping maybe the alcohol will travel to his brain and sanitize his eyeballs from most of the shit he just read) when his phone rings. Great. He’s always happy to talk to her, but right now… wow. It’s gonna take him some time to recover, so he hopes she doesn’t need him to say much.

 “Hey, Doll.”

 “I am so fucking pissed off right now.” That sounds promising.

 “At what?”

 “The city of Bucharest, my apartment, the landlord, whoever the fuck did the plumbing in this building! God!” She’s clearly out of breath, so it takes a minute before she can speak again. “I’m sorry, Buck. It’s just that I came home from work, and one of my neighbors told me the entire sixth floor is under a good inch, inch and a half of water.” Wait-

 “How-”

 “I don’t know. Busted pipe. It’s leaked down onto the fifth floor, so I’ve got about fifty other pissed off people for company.”

 “Jesus.” 

 She chuckles harshly. “Yeah, we could use him right about now to perform a miracle. This is a shit show, and I haven’t even told you the best part.”

 “So the spontaneous flood wasn’t the highlight of your day?”

 “I fucking wish! So, naturally, I tried to call the landlord, along with basically everyone else. Get this: since it’s after five o’clock on a Friday, he’s not gonna do anything. Told us collectively to suck it up! And of course, when there’s a leak, they have to cut the power…” He’s starting to see a pattern here.

 She sighs. “I really needed to get that off my chest. How are you?” Still slightly weirded out by the information overload, but feeling a little more steady now that he’s got a good catastrophe to concentrate on. However, that’s probably not the best answer to go with.

 “Better than you are.”

 “What, the sky isn’t falling where you are?” He chuckles.

 “No, it’s right where it’s supposed to be.”  Which reminds him… “But since it seems like you’re short a functional home, why don’t you just stay here until they sort things out?” He’s got a couch that, while it doesn’t have anything on an actual bed, he can manage to sleep on for the next few nights. Or maybe they can share his bed. He shakes his head. That thought needs to be put to the side, even if it’s meant in the most innocent way possible. Of course, in case she decides to cash in that rain check…

 “Yes. I mean, that would be great, if you’re sure.”

 “I’m sure.” Actually, he can’t think of a better way to spend the weekend. The plan was to meet up either Saturday or Sunday, possibly both, so this isn’t that far out of the ordinary.

 “Okay, but just a warning: They’re not letting us go up to our floor in case there’s been electrical damage as well-” That’s smart. If the pipes are in that bad of condition, who knows what the wiring looks like. “-so all I have is my purse, backpack, and what I wore to work. No toothbrush or pajamas, or anything like that.”

 “That’s alright. All you have to bring is yourself.” He’ll have to look, but he’s pretty sure he has something in his closet that’ll work okay for her until she gets the all clear to go into her apartment. Plus, there’s a laundry mat just around the corner, not to mention a pharmacy.

 “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” 

 “Not a problem.” He glances at his bedside clock. Five thirty-four. It takes roughly half an hour to get across the city by bus, so… “I’ll see you around six fifteen?”

 “See you then.”

 As soon as the line goes dead, he springs into action. First thing’s first: make sure there’s no dirty clothes, old dishes, or trash laying around. That takes all of five minutes. He should probably check that he does indeed have something she can wear so they won’t have to fumble around later. Tshirts are pretty universal and… yes, he has a few pajama bottoms that have a drawstring waist. How much time does he have left? The phone screen lights up, giving him his answer. Twenty-seven minutes. More than enough time to run around the corner and pick up a few things.

 His intention is to buy the basics: spare toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, maybe a different shampoo than his three-in-one body wash (it’s convenient for him, but she might prefer something designated for hair specifically). But, well, there’s quite a few aisles, and he gets sucked in. Does he need to buy razors, or is that rude, like he thinks she’s hairy? What about aspirin? How often do most people get headaches? He honestly can’t remember. 

 By the time he realizes that he really needs to get a move on, his basket is full and he has no idea what aisle he’s on. Desperately, he looks around, and his eyes land on… huh. So they just have them out in the open these days. Last time he was in the market for that, he had to beg a married friend to make the purchase for him. He briefly wonders if he’ll need to produce proof of marriage or something similar, but pushes the thought to the side. It’s the 2000s. He can probably just go up to the register and pay, and no one will give him a second look. But there’s just one problem: which brand? He should google… suddenly remembering his adventure from earlier today, he decides to just go with his gut and pick one. There. Now, he needs to pay and get the fuck out of here because there’s only ten minutes left, and he’d rather not have these out in the open, in case she thinks that’s the reason he’s asked her to stay over. If it happens, great. If not… well, he’s made it for the past seventy years. What’s a few more?

___________________________________________________________________________________

 She was still pretty shaken up when she arrived at his apartment, carrying her backpack and purse, slightly damp from the drizzle of rain now covering the city. But immediately receiving a long hug, being instructed to make herself at home, and hearing the offer to take a shower so she could warm up did a lot to restore her good mood.

 It was one of the sweetest thing she’s ever experienced in a lifetime where most people have showed her their worst, going into that bathroom and finding a new toothbrush, stick of deodorant, nail clippers, hairbrush, and even shampoo. That and Barnes bashfully informing her that, “I’ll stay in the living room until you’re done. Take your time.” She almost suggested that he just join her in an attempt to broach the subject they left off on two nights ago, but thought better of it. She’s just started to strip when a knock comes from the other side of the wall.

 “Sorry. I just remembered that I forgot to give you a change of clothes. Can I leave them outside the door?” A smile forms on her face.  

 “Sure. Go ahead.” No one’s given this much thought to her comfort or boundaries before. Yet another reason she knows this is the right decision.

 She doesn’t stay in the shower for long, just enough time to wash and stop shivering. After toweling off and brushing out her hair, she cracks open the door. Sure enough, a worn but clean tshirt and pair of pajama bottoms are waiting for her. The familiar scent of the laundry detergent he uses envelopes her as she dresses and, at long last, leaves the safety of the bathroom.

 True to his word, he’s still sitting on the couch, thumbing through a book she gave him some months back (he’s missed so many feats of literature that have made their way into pop culture; today’s choice is The Hobbit because, while it was out before everything happened to him, he’s never read it) when she emerges. Just in case he’s so absorbed that he hasn’t heard her, she repeats his gesture from earlier and knocks softly on the wall.

 “Hey. I’m out. You can have your apartment back.”

 “Hey.” That smile always makes her feel slightly unsteady on her feet. “Find everything okay?”

 “I did.” She settles into the place next to him. “Thank you, by the way. You didn’t have to go out and get supplies.”

 “I know.” He nods, hand closing around hers. “But I wanted to make sure you had whatever you needed.”

 They chat for a while about their days, discuss what they should do with the weekend ahead, even throw out ideas for dinner. The entire time, she’s trying to figure out the best way to bring up that she’d really like to finish what they started the other night. However, by the time he’s left to grab some sort of takeout, she’s still no closer to an answer.

 Fortunately, their dates usually follow a pattern. Food, a movie, and then the not-so-innocent cuddles. This time, he’s on top of her when she feels the tell-tale sign that he’s as fired up as she is, so she suggests,

 “Do want to maybe move to somewhere more comfortable?” His already dilated pupils grow even larger, and he nods.

 “Yeah. That sounds like a plan.” She waits for him to roll off of her and head towards the bedroom before she grabs her purse and, digging around inside, grabs one of the foil packages she bought after their last date.

 It’s only once she closes the door behind her, shutting them into an enclosed space with a bed (not to mention it’s pretty damn clear what both of their intentions are), that nerves get the better of her.  He takes a step towards her, and she leans up to kiss him, but he ducks his head out of the way.

 “You’re shaking.” His hand ghosts over her arm, making it obvious that, by comparison, she’s practically vibrating on the spot.

 “Sorry.” She chuckles nervously. “It’ll pass.”

 “It’s alright.” As he says it, he meets her eyes. “We can stop. Nothing has to happen.”

 “I know.” She nods, swallowing hard. “But I want it to.” Their lips briefly meet before he pulls away again.

 “Let me ask you, just before we get started, is this-” He stops short, eyes darting from her face to the wall and back again. “...have you… before?” Oh. “Not that it matters, not to me, I just wanted to know so that-”

 “I have.” She nods, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “Once. I was eighteen, and-” It was awful. She’d been seeing the guy for a few months and he kept whining about her not putting out, so she decided to get it over with. He went in dry without any warning, and when she asked him to stop, give her a second to adjust, he told her he couldn’t. She was bleeding and in pain for days afterwards, and to top it off, when her period was late, she thought that, even though he’d pulled out, she was pregnant. That turned out not to be the case, but it, along with the fact that she usually doesn’t stay in one place for very long, has put a damper on her ever wanting to do that again. Except for now. “-it wasn’t a great experience.”

 “I’m sorry.” On instinct, she searches for the judgment in his face, the disgust. It’s nowhere to be found, only genuine sympathy. “I’ll do my best to make sure this time is better. That is, if you’re still up to it.”

 “I am.” Not waiting for a reply, she wraps her arms around him and starts trailing kisses up his neck towards his ear. “I am. I trust you.” She hears his breath catch, but before she can comment, he’s hoisted her up and is carrying her in the direction of the bed.

 As he sets her down, she pulls him on top of her, letting her hands wander over his sides, up his back. After a few moments, she feels his fingers move from her hips to toy with the hem of her… his.. shirt.

 “Is this okay? Can I take this off?” She starts to nod, but remembers just in time that he’s so close, they’d butt heads.

 “Please.” She expected to feel exposed once she was at least partially undressed, but instead she feels… adored. His eyes are roaming over her newly exposed skin, though his hands have respectfully returned to her waist. In a moment of confidence, she reaches behind her and unhooks her bra. There. Now she’s completely shirtless.

 “You’re so beautiful.” The flush from her cheeks is spreading down her neck, but she still smiles.

 “Care to make things even?” It’s brief, but she catches the look of hesitation.

 “Sure.” Before she can offer to do it, he shrugs his shirt over his head, revealing to her, for the first time, the entirity of his metal arm. She must look for a moment too long, because with a shrug, he informs her, “I can put my shirt back on. No big deal. I know there’s some scarring…” That’s not going to fly. She needs to reassure him, make him feel as desired as he’s made her feel.

 “Or if you want to stop-” She stands and, after briefly making eye contact, places a kiss on the most prominent scar.

 “Don’t you dare think that way for a second.” They’re flush against each other, chest to bare chest. “Not for one.” Slowly, she slides her hands from his shoulders down to his waist, hesitating just over the button. “Is this okay?” Another shakey breath.

 “Yes.”

 Going forward, it’s much less awkward. The rest of their clothing is shed, and soon they’re back to their previous position; on the bed, with him on top of her. She feels his fingertips brush the inside of her thigh and gasps.

 “May I touch you?” She nods.

 “You’d better.”

 It’s gentle, more of him feeling her out than anything else. Still, she can’t help but think this is infinitely better already than last time around. Suddenly, he pulls his hand away, and it takes all her effort not to whine at the loss of contact. Before she can ask if something’s wrong, does he want to stop, he’s flat on his stomach, head between her legs.

 “Tell me if you need me to stop.”

 “What-” Her breath catches as it becomes infinitely clear what he’s doing.

 Again, she’s expecting pain when, after several minutes he eases a finger into her, but at this point, she’s so wet that there’s absolutely no difficulty.

 “Are you okay?” She nods.

 “Don’t stop.”

 The process is agonizingly slow, he’s so intent on his task. When, finally, he pulls away, she’s so close that she can almost taste it.

 “Do you still want to-”

 “If you don’t stop asking me that, I’m gonna slap you.” It’s a joke, and she thinks he knows it, but just to be sure, she siezes his hand (the metal one, which is usually cold but has now warmed from being held close against her body. “I’m ready, so long as you want this too.”

 “I do. You wouldn’t believe how much.” Yeah, she thinks she would. “Just give me a second.” Perfect timing. He rolls off of her, which gives her the opening she needs to grab the packet she managed to hide under the pillow while he was… otherwise distracted. When he returns from digging inside the wardrobe, she holds it up, only to realize-

 “Oh.” He’s got one as well. “Seems like we both came prepared.”

 He chuckles. “Just in case, although that wasn’t why I asked you to stay.”

 “I know.” She nods and pats the space next to her. “Not why I said yes either, although I can’t say I’m disappointed.”

 He returns to the bed and drops his packet onto the nightstand. “Save this one for later?”

 “Definitely.”

 There is a bit of discomfort once he starts to push inside her, but it’s not painful. Just… overwhelming. Slightly embarassed she asks,

 “Can you wait a second? Please?”

 “Of course. Are you alright?” She shifts her hips slightly, making them both groan.

 “Fine. You can move now.”

 She may have only done this once before, and she has no idea what his experience consists of, but as she hits her peak mere seconds before he does, gently coaxed over the edge, she can’t help but think some things are better the second time around.

 “I love you.” It’s whispered against her neck as, once she cleans up and returns to bed, she settles herself against him.

 “I love you too.”

___________________________________________________________________________________

 The first thing he thinks when he realizes that he’s not alone in bed is that HYDRA’s found him. He’s being activated. His eyes shoot open although apart from that he doesn’t move a muscle, and that’s when he recognizes the person next to him. It’s her. She’s here.

 The events of last night come back to him all at once, and he feels a smile forming on his face. It’s been a while, and in any case, it would be wrong to run a comparison, but what they shared, the pure intimacy of it both physically and mentally was incredible. Maybe he should feel a sense of shame. That’s what he was taught growing up. But instead he feels… peaceful.

 That is, until her eyelids flutter and she rolls over, shifting the covers so that he gets a good view of her still naked body, and with it, the bruises on her thighs and hips. Bruises unmistakably left by his fingers. Dammit. He’s done the last thing he ever wanted to do: he’s hurt her.

 “Good morning, sleepy head.” She yawns, the teasing words muffled. “It seems like we overslept.”

 His mouth goes dry, and all he can manage to choke out is a simple, “Yeah.”

 She frowns, sitting up slightly, and lets out a small groan. “You alright there, Bucky? You look a little off.” The late morning light only serves to highlight more marks he’s left, this time on her shoulders, neck, and breasts. Stubble burn. Hickeys. Why the hell was he so rough? At the time, he thought he was being gentle, but obviously he’s just as much of a monster as Bucky Barnes as he is once the Winter Soldier takes over.

 She’s still staring at him, brow furrowing in concern.

 “Fine.” He clears his throat and begins to sit up. “Stay here. I’ll make you a cup of tea, maybe some oatmeal.”

 “Alright. Don’t be gone too long.”

 Her words follow him out of the room, and into the kitchen. Fuck. He should’ve known better. 

Maybe once upon a time, he was a decent man, one who could be with a woman like  her and not do her a disservice. But now, it’s clear that he falls short in every way. In an act that was supposed to be pure pleasure, a way of communicating how much they mean to each other, he’s hurt her.

 “I trust you.” The words from last night ring in his ears. He shouldn’t have let her. It’s pretty damn obvious that, even at the best of times, he can’t be trusted.

 “Tell me what’s going on.” Even with his enhanced senses, he still jumps in surprise as the unexpected words come from behind him. He turns around slowly, not wanting to startle her. She’s standing there, clad in only one of his shirts, arms crossed over her chest (now bearing his marks), staring him down.

 “Nothing.” He shakes his head.

 “Bullshit. I had a vision of you staring off into space, and here you are, jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” At another time, her choice in phrases would make him chuckle, but right now, he can’t muster it.

 “Last night-” Her eyes widen, but she stays silent. “I hurt you.”

 “No, you didn’t. Not at all.”

 “I did.”

 She frowns. “Bucky, I think I’d know if you’d hurt me, and I’m telling you, I’m fine.”

 “Doll, look at yourself!” He reaches out to take her arm, but immediately freezes. “Go in the bathroom and take off your shirt. Take a good look in the mirror and then tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

 “Alright.” Her jaw clenches, and she marches off in the direction of the bathroom. A deep sickness gnaws at the pit of his stomach and, completely worn out, he sinks into a kitchen chair.

 Not thirty seconds pass before she walks back into the room, this time completely undressed.

 “Tell me you’re not talking about a few love bites.”

 “And bruises! You may not have noticed, but they’re in the exact shape of my fingertips.”

 “Oh my god!” She shakes her head. “It’s a sex injury. A minor one at that! If you didn’t heal so damn fast, you’d probably have nail marks all over your back!”

 “That’s not the same thing.”

 “How is it not the same thing?”

 “I’m a monster! And you’re not.”

 She takes a determined step towards him, and he leans as far back as the chair will allow.

 “Bucky, you are not a monster, and I am not afraid of you.”

 “Then you’re stupid.” He hates himself for his sharp words, but she needs to take this seriously. Underestimating how dark, how evil he can be, is a mistake. A deadly one.

 “Hey!”

 “Don’t you get it?” Without any input from his brain, he stands. “They could find me, and with a few words, I could stare you dead in the eyes as I murdered you! If you were my mission, I wouldn’t even hesitate, and you’d be dead before your body hit the floor!” Her mouth falls open, but she immediately closes it again. “This isn’t something that can be worked through with some patience and a positive attitude! I could kill you!”

 “So could a million other things!” Her voice rises in volume, and before he can contain it-

 “But they’re not in the bed sleeping next to you!” He’s shouting at her. God. Everyone is right. He’s beyond saving.

 A few tense seconds pass before she looks up at him, a steely look in her eyes.

 “Look, I get it. I know what you could do to me.” As she speaks, she pulls out a chair and sits. “But I could also get run over when I cross the road, or the room could fill with carbon monoxide while I sleep. I could have an aneurysm and drop before anyone knows what’s happening.”

 He opens his mouth to tell her the likelihood of any of those things happening is far lower than the chance that he’ll hurt her, this time in a major way, but she holds up a hand, silencing him.

 “I’m gonna be cautious, but I’m also not going to live my life in fear that the ceiling is going to collapse or nuclear war is going to strike, or that someone is gonna turn up and say the magic words that make you go cuckoo for cocoa puffs-” What? “-and I just realized you’re too old for that reference.”

 “That’s another thing-” He’s about to remind her exactly how big their age gap is, that although he’s physically close to her age, chronologically, he’s closer to the age of her great grandfather, but she lets out a sudden groan of frustration, and that makes him bite his tongue.

 “Oh, fuck off, Barnes! If you’re about to start in on how you’re too old for me, then I’m not gonna wait for you to go full Winter Soldier before I kick your ass!” Out of all things, that’s what snaps him out of it, makes him feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s still a chance they can make the best of things.

 Smirking, he asks her,

 “You think you could kick my ass? Really?” It must be the breaking point for her too, because she snickers.

 “Of course. It’s the little bitches you have to watch out for.”  That’s it, he’s laughing, nearly doubled over, and from the looks of things, she’s in much the same state.

 “You’re something else, you know that?” He asks between stilted breaths.

 “I think we both fit in that category, Pal.” Her smile fades, but only slightly. “Bucky, if you really want me to go, if that’s what’ll give you peace, then I’ll do it, but I meant what I said. I trust you.” Never. He’ll never want her to go, he’s sure of it. Well then, that only leaves one option.

 “I know what we’re doing today.” It’s an abrupt segue, but it’s the only thing he could come up with on short notice.

 “And what’s that?”  The microwave dings, reminding him that he needs to stir the oatmeal, and he pushes past her.

 “Sit down and have your tea. You’re going to need all your energy if I’m gonna show you how to use a gun.” If she’s staying, then at least he can teach her how to defend herself beyond the basics she already knows.

 “So I guess this means you’re keeping me around for a little while longer?” It’s spoken like a joke, but he turns to her, meeting her eyes to drive the point home.

 “Yeah, Doll. As long as you want me."

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Legacy (18x11)

Koracick, my love!

Cons:

Why are they giving Nick his own story-line? You can't trick me into caring about this man, Grey's. You can't do it. This episode brought back Tom Koracick, one of the weirdly greatest characters ever written for this show, and you expect me to pay attention to Nick's boring shit? And it doesn't help that the story seems kind of... basic ground for Grey's Anatomy? It's a simple story about an organ transplant, where we have to grieve for the young man who died and celebrate the young man who gets another chance at life. I was waiting for some twist that would make it stand out from other similar plot elements over the years, but there really wasn't anything. It honestly feels like that plot thread was just there to try and make Nick more sympathetic, give the audience something to connect to. The trouble is, Nick being a nice guy is literally the only thing I know about him, and now I've learned nothing new.

And then the end of the episode is Meredith going to celebrate her success with him, which is honestly the last thing I care about seeing. It kills me, because seeing Meredith in a stable, simple relationship with a good guy is something I really want for her, but Nick just gives me nothing to connect to!

When Teddy told Jo she might be done with her marriage my eyes rolled so far back into my head I nearly toppled over. So now we've got Teddy talking to Owen about PTSD and being triggered and why he did what he did, and Owen insisting he stands by his decision... I just can't believe I've got to sit through more drama with these two. At least if they're just happily married there's not too much focus on them.

Link and Jo continue to be a big ol' nope from me. Again, if different people were involved, the whole mutual pining while living together, best friends raising children together thing... it would be right up my alley, but this just doesn't click for me with these two. It's such a bummer!

Pros:

So let's start in subplot news. I really loved all the stuff with Levi and Webber. Schmitt playing his video game, Richard trying to talk to him about his own experiences... I loved that this story doesn't just show Levi as continuously catatonic or anything, it's a little more complicated than that. He's defeated, and that's obvious, and he says he's never coming back, and I believe that he believes that. But there's life left in him yet, and I love how Richard tries to be there for him. I also weirdly loved how video games weren't being used as just a short-hand for "a person with nothing else going on in life." Richard is confused at the appeal of the game, and Levi explains it, talks about the lessons it can teach.

I wasn't sure whether to put this in pros or cons, but ultimately I think I was amused in a somewhat uncomfortable way by Bailey's plot thread with the new resident. They spend the whole episode laughing and being nerds together about various sci-fi properties, as he tries to convince Miranda that taking on a job with NASA would be the right thing for her career. Then, at the end of the episode, he mistakes a moment of intimacy and leans in to kiss her. Bailey reacts with shock and he awkwardly runs off. It's so hard for me to deal with secondhand embarrassment, I was literally cringing during this whole story. The guy's crush on her is so obvious, and Bailey's obliviousness was just as clear. I'm kind of excited to see what happens from here with this, but the awkwardness is going to be difficult to stomach!

We get the groundbreaking surgery this episode, everyone crowds around to watch, and it goes off without a hitch! For the most part. I love that the drama with Meredith's big medical moment was actually relatively small and more concerned with worry for Owen, and not some big crazy thing going wrong in the middle of the surgery. The drama is that someone has to leave to take care of Owen. It can't be Meredith or Amelia, because that's against the funding for their special trial, but of course Amelia is worried about Owen. In the end, it's Tom who goes, because, as I keep saying, he's actually a super good guy and he's my favorite and I miss him.

Kai and Amelia have a cute moment about it afterwards, where Kai is astonished that Amelia was willing to walk out of there, but they realize that it's because Amelia will drop everything to be there for the people she loves. They seem to have a strong connection built on something simple and quiet and true, and this vibe is something I want for Amelia, even if I'm frustrated that we had to jump through so many drama hoops with Link to get there.

I just love the fact that Tom and Owen now have this like... grudging respect, where Tom is razzing Owen on the way to the OR: "Hunt, don't make me cry before I open you up." I love this man so much. Honestly, everything he says and does is my favorite part of any episode he's in. I want him back as a series regular. Make him fall in love with Kai and Amelia, maybe the three of them can give it a go. I'd be about it.

Also, despite how much I dislike Owen, and how much I really dislike Link and Jo's whole thing, I found myself reluctantly amused by the scenes of Owen and Link doing physical therapy, where they're talking at cross-purposes about their girl drama. I just love that Owen and Link share an ex partner in Amelia, and they're angsting about Teddy and Jo respectively, and neither of them have any idea what the heck the other one is talking about. Just made me chuckle. Oh, soap operas...

All in all, the things I didn't like about this episode were the same things I've been complaining about for a while now. Hilariously and predictably, even a brief glimpse of Tom Koracick is enough to up this episode's score quite a bit!

8/10

[faelapis]

I disagree that it’s comparable to how SU treated Bismuth. Bismuth wanted to kill one of the Diamonds murdering and oppressing everyone. Jet wanted to kill innocent civilians. He had a chance to change when he entered Ba Sing Se, but he became fixated on exposing Zuko and Iroh - from his perspective, working class refugees who he only hated when he realized they were fire benders.

so... here’s the thing. 

let’s talk about how “extremists” in media are often framed.

for one thing, they’re usually not really... “real”? they’re demonized. they give you easy versions of extremism, where they’re so cartoonishly evil you don’t have to confront their ideologies on any deeper level. in jet’s case, you just give him someone it’s Obviously Bad to Kill, problem solved, right?

not really. you’ve still condemned “the violent ones” as being “like jet”. Extremism Bad Because It Means Child Murder :( this is the same problem as in the hunger games, in which gale is also seen as going “too far” in this very facile, pathos-stripped way that it’s easy to condemn. both are still saying that violence, or at least that kind of violence, are bad, they just take it to the obvious extreme to get the audience on their side.

SU doesn’t take shortcuts like that. they give bismuth AND rose realistic motivations. that’s what i mean by saying bismuth is treated as more “real” and with pathos. your heart breaks for her. she’s treated like a perspective you UNDERSTAND. you get why she thinks the way she does - because from her perspective, there’s no reason to ever think a diamond could change. from her perspective, the CGs were working class. nobody truly “changed” so much as they “stood up”. that’s why she’s both worth listening to and considering the pros/cons within that universe. at no point does she strangle toddlers so the kiddos at home will know she’s a Bad Guy. it’s more complicated than that.

it might be implied bismuth would’ve killed more than just the diamonds - she speaks of homeworld gems “in their way” in the general sense, and we see her hit lapis from the back - but that’s a might. it asks the audience to fill in the blanks of how far they think bismuth would’ve gone. it’s not “the poor children :(”, it’s how far YOU, from the information you’ve gathered from her mindset, thinks she would actually go.

i think part of the controversy here is, indeed, because SU doens’t take that shortcut to tell you bismuth is obviously evil. she’s not. the narrative never treats her like “one-dimensionally” bad. her perspective makes sense, and steven doesn’t really have a strong answer for why they shouldn’t do things her way. heck, he admits as much in s5 - in s3, he was mostly hanging on to the divine image of rose given to him, in which she embodied what a CG “should” be.

the narrative itself gives you a few reasons in s3, but only if you pay very close attention - for one thing, lapis and jasper would likely both be dead. bismuth was an implied part of lapis’ trauma and the raid that started jasper’s life. peridots might’ve been killed, considering they’re kindergarteners. if you think that’s a worthy sacrifice, then you’re asked to think whether these characters, who you may very well personally relate to, deserve to be killed for doing their essentially god-designated job (from birth!), and being but small parts of a larger machine... which ALL gems were, at one point. including the crystal gems.

(also by killing the diamonds, the homeworld gems will hate you. that’s why steven couldn’t help jasper in “earthlings”. they will despise you rather than love you, because they are literally programmed to love their diamonds. you’ll give them the kind of collective trauma where they’re much more likely to turn against you than join you).

another thing - bismuth thinks they could’ve won, but... could they? how much of that is the desperate hope of someone who doesn’t want to consider other options? we don’t know that either. the crystal gems are but a small fraction of what they used to be. bismuth can pep people up, to the point where they emotionally identify with her cause (and become, like bismuth herself, entirely lacking in self-criticalness about that), but she can’t make them realistically confront their own numbers, or the obvious advantage of talking to people who are many more than you... 

which is why later, bismuth is strategically willing to accept that. she’s not entirely unreasonable. she cares about the end goal more than she cares about being as violent as possible. she wants steven to use his privilege when the time comes, because that’s what will help the most people. even if it hurts him.

that’s the mark of a true ideologue - being able to put your preferred method aside when the moment calls for it. anyone who thinks they’re ideologues or committed to a cause, but aren’t willing to put their means aside when it’s beneficial *FOR THAT CAUSE* are not ideologues. they’re just in it for the guns.

all in all though, the “big” thing that decides between steven and bismuth’s perspectives isn’t really what either of them say in s3. it’s in s5: the fact that ROSE, their leader, was pink diamond. this makes it very, very hard to other your enemies as these soulless monsters to defeat. you are your enemies. that’s what makes bismuth face that she can’t distance herself from either homeworld or gemkind - she’s been putting someone on a pedestal all along, she just wanted the “right one” to idolize on top. that’s what she has to face.

also, it is ROSE who built up pink diamond as the ultimate enemy to kill. time and again, rose does not understand the consequences of demonizing herself or distancing herself from people... then again, bismuth doesn’t give her much reason to - bismuth starts out thinking there are “good” gems and “bad” gems, and the only backstory rose thinks bismuth would buy is one in which she always knew the right thing to do. which nobody is born knowing.

there’s also a bunch of little things i could bring up, such as how the diamonds aren’t just killers or oppressors. they are, in equal parts, creators. they made gems “in their image”, seeking purpose and light. that’s what makes them a decent parallel to “petty gods” (and abusive parents) more than anything else. they create all of gemkind. they project outwards, through their “children”, in such a way that they feel entitled to give everyone purpose. they, themselves, were made with purpose - and had to find themselves outside of it. rose never internalized that she could truly change, but she did. time and again. but people still suffered for it. time and again. 

even now, it’s an open question whether rose did the right thing in putting bismuth away (even if you understand why both acted the way they did!)... but rose is gone now. and bismuth is still here. she can still live the liberated life she always wanted, with her friends by her side.

so yeah, i’ll take that over “jet started out okay but he’s Actually Really A Meanie Mean Who Must Die To Show Extremists Are Bad”. 

[seattlesea]

The Wasted Potential of Piper McLean’s Backstory

I think it’s safe to say that Piper’s backstory was easily the weakest, most boring, and worst-written one of all the characters in Heroes of Olympus, but it didn’t have to be. Riordan wasted a lot of potential for her backstory that could’ve added much more to her character just for ‘My dad doesn’t pay attention to me!!11!!!11!’ and then showing multiple flashbacks of Piper and Tristan spending quality father-daughter time alone together and completely invalidating all of Piper’s annoying complaining. Not only that, but Piper’s backstory is just a boring copy of Rachel’s. 

So, this is what Riordan did with Piper’s backstory:

1. ‘Neglectful’ dad. Piper spends 50% of The Lost Hero complaining about how little time her dad spends with her (and 49% thinking about Jason) instead of focusing on actually helping him. And while neglectful parenting can be very dangerous to a child’s happiness and social skills, Piper clearly wasn’t neglected or ‘ignored’. How do I know? Well for one, there are multiple flashbacks in The Mark of Athena of Piper and her dad hanging out- surfing, researching Greek mythology stories, watching Tristan’s movies and laughing over them, Tristan telling Piper Cherokee stories, etc.- and two, Piper isn’t unhappy nor unsocial and doesn’t show any symptoms of child neglect besides being clingy and possessive (but remember that the McLeans weren’t always rich, and were actually quite poor before, so Piper didn’t learn that behavior from her father). Besides, for someone who is claimed to be ‘smarter than all her other siblings’, Piper clearly doesn’t know that it’s her father’s agent that controls his schedule, not Tristan.

2. Rich and pretty= bad. In a lot of different circumstances, being rich and pretty has its cons, but Piper’s complaints about it are completely offbeat. Why? Cause we don’t know why she’s complaining about it. She complains about being rich, but why? She complains about being ‘too pretty’ (as if that’s something people legitimately complain about), but why? There’s no backstory or reasoning given to this. If there was, Piper’s constant complaining might have been valid, but Riordan just threw it into her story to give the readers a reason to take pity on and feel sympathy for her, and because he didn’t give Piper an actual reason for her complaining, it made it unbearable. If he had written it in smaller doses (much smaller) and wrote it realistically, it could’ve been really awesome. Because if you’re going to complain about something, make sure you’re complaining for a reason. Why does Piper hate being rich? Why does Piper hate having a bunch of awesome things most people would kill for? Why does Piper hate being attractive? And how Riordan tried to validate her complaining with ‘She wants to be normal’- NO ONE WANTS TO BE NORMAL. What teenager wouldn’t want a private airplane and giant mansion after living in a shitty wood house most of their life? Cause yes, Riordan, write your character complaining about her private chef making her a gold-wrapped sandwich while most of the other characters were worrying about where their next meal was going to come from and have her complain about having things while most people didn’t have 5% of what she had. That’ll totally make her a likable character. There’s a difference between being modest and being ungrateful.

3. Bullies. Being bullied sucks, and Piper has every right to complain about it. But...she didn’t. She didn’t complain at all. She didn’t even care about it. So she’s perfectly fine with being bullied and pushed around for her ethnicity, but her dad working a little overtime is the end of the world? How??? Besides that, Riordan didn’t write in bullies to shine a light on racism towards First Nations people, but for one reason only- to degrade femininity. Piper is described as a ‘tomboy’ (even though she doesn’t actually dress tomboyish, but that’s for another mini-rant) and the only bullies towards her we have been introduced to are girly-girls- Isabel and her group of friends who wore ‘matching pink tops and enough makeup for a Halloween party’, Drew Tanaka, Khione, etc. That’s not progressive, it’s sexist. ‘Femininity’ and ‘weakness’ are not synonymous, and nor are ‘masculinity’ and ‘strength’. Also, how did Isabel and her friends not know who Piper’s dad was? I’m pretty sure Tristan didn’t hide her from the entire world (though that would’ve been a way cooler backstory). 

4. Stealing. Anyone else out there who also knows that Piper isn’t actually a rebellious trouble-maker? Cause she isn’t. She got kicked out of four schools for being accused of stealing, but she never actually canonically broke any rules. As for the stealing part of her backstory, it was really, really lame. It was just a bad, invalid excuse to make Piper look like the badass and cool trouble-maker when in reality, all she did was politely ask for things. Not exactly ‘badass and rebellious’, and it was completely unnecessary. Piper wanted attention from her dad, but she got it multiple times and could’ve gotten it in many other different ways that didn’t enforce the racist ‘kleptomaniac First Nation’ stereotype. 

And this is what he should’ve done with her backstory:

1. Rich and pretty= distrust. Piper was reluctant to tell Annabeth about her famous father in The Lost Hero, but for the wrong reason. She didn’t want Annabeth to know about her movie-star dad because she didn’t want the ‘attention’, but she should’ve not wanted Annabeth to know out of distrust. And by ‘distrust’, I mean ‘not knowing if they want to know you for you or for your money’. This is a common con for rich and famous people, and they often turn paranoid and distrusting because they can never be certain if someone wants to be their friend because they think that they’re a cool person or if they want to be their friend because they’re rich and famous. That would’ve been a perfect reason for Piper to be reluctant to make new friends (especially after announcing to her whole cabin that her father was Tristan McLean), but she didn’t care. She even said that she ‘hated using the famous dad card’ but never showed signs of being dubious of new people who knew who she was. As for being pretty, a lot of attractive people are also distrustful because they never know if someone wants to date them for their personality or for their looks (and in Jason’s case, it was definitely the latter. No one wants to kiss someone a few minutes after knowing them and never actually talking to them one-on-one and it be anything but sexual attraction). Piper should’ve been very reluctant to get into a relationship (especially after Jason embarrassed and sexualized her in front of the entire camp calling her a ‘knock-out’) and it would’ve added a valid reason for her to complain about her looks. Cause again- why does she hate being attractive? Cause she’s tired of being stereotyped? No, cause she stereotypes other people. Cause she doesn’t want to be attractive? No, cause she never said anything about that. There was no reason for it, so it was a huge waste of many chapters and made for a horrible character arc. 

2. Alone in a big house. Piper complained about her dad being ‘too busy’ despite him being a very loving, caring, and inclusive father, but why didn’t she even mention the other part of it- being alone? Sure she had personal chefs, assistants, etc. with her, but no one related to her and no one who wasn’t being paid to be around her. Being alone sucks, but being alone in a giant house with a bunch of games and other stuff you’d love to share with another person but can’t? Damn. Speaking of which, what about Piper’s past schools? Five schools and no confirmed friends? It’s not like Piper has a hard time making friends since she was able to become friends with Leo (and only after being at the Wilderness School for a few months versus full school years at the others). Riordan could’ve written a very interesting backstory that didn’t have to relate to monsters (like Leo’s) but focused on the wrong parts. 

3. Impossible (and toxic) beauty standards and pressure. While being unattractive (or thinking you’re unattractive, cause you’re not ugly, you’re just not your type) sucks, being attractive (and extremely attractive) has multiple cons. Not only is there- racism in the beauty industry, society’s toxic and even deadly standards of beauty, not being open to relationships out of fear of only being liked for your looks, fear of not being taken seriously and being stereotyped, being cat-called and even the fear of rape, being compared to others, etc., but there’s the constant pressure (especially from family members, friends, and peers) of showing off your looks even if you don’t want to or are not comfortable doing so. I have an ‘hour-glass’ shaped body, and at first I loved my body and was very confident about it, but after the constant urging from my family members to wear tight (almost revealing) clothes to show off my body starting at only twelve years old despite me not being comfortable wearing those types of clothes, I hated my body and wore exclusively baggy and layered clothes for nearly 3+ years. This would’ve been perfect for Piper’s backstory, especially since her mother literally sexualized her by putting her in an ‘embarrassingly low v-neck dress’ in front of tons of campers. She wore basic, simple clothes, but she only wore them to avoid being labelled a ‘girly-girl’. It’s not even canon if she actually likes those clothes or are actually comfortable wearing them or not, she only wore them to avoid being something else she didn’t like. It could’ve led to an awesome character arc- going from insecure about your looks because people keep pressuring you into showing them off to only wearing and doing what you like. Piper tried to hide her looks, but for what reason? To avoid being stereotyped as ‘girly’? Yes, Piper, because girly-girls are the only type of girls that are pretty. Obviously.  

4. Charity. Rachel rocked this one. If Piper wanted to be kind and modest, why didn’t she give any of the things she had to people who actually needed it? Instead of moping about how rich you are, give the things you don’t want to those who need it. It’s a lot more effective and moral than spending all your days complaining and sulking, and it’s much more likely to gain readers’ favor than constant whining. 

5. Stereotypes. Riordan tried so hard to avoid the ‘snobby rich girl’ stereotype, but in my opinion- he should’ve utilized it. Piper went from ‘I don’t care about what I have’...to the exact same thing. She didn’t grow at all regarding her fortune and riches. Even in The Trials of Apollo, she lost everything and didn’t even care. Who wouldn’t care if they lost everything they had? Piper could’ve been grateful that she still had her dad and humanity while still being upset she lost everything. Back on topic- Piper could’ve gone from spoiled, obnoxious, and money-obsessed to ‘It doesn’t matter what I have or what I am but who I am’. She should’ve started off as the basic, stereotypical rich girl- a greedy, selfish, idealistic, spoiled, rude, dramatic, and overly ambitious primadonna diva who tried to buy her happiness and relationships but realized she couldn’t fill the hole in her heart with money and lipstick. Or how about the reckless homewrecker who broke hearts just for fun before realizing she actually wanted a real relationship, so started letting people in? Riordan avoiding the rich girl stereotype to make Piper more likable is what helped make her dislikable, because it ruined the chances of a good character arc. Besides, while not showing it on the surface, Riordan did actually sink into the rich girl stereotype by making Piper a selfish, ungrateful, and attention-seeking whiny brat, but she never grew from that or even realized she was doing it. 

6. Looks don’t matter. The fandom thinks that Piper is the one who stands for ‘looks don’t matter/it’s what’s on the inside that matters’, but she’s the opposite. She: -dismissed Percy and stereotyped him based off how he looked -hated her entire cabin and mother just because they were girly -hated and stereotyped Drew just cause she was wearing jewelry and makeup -constantly fussed over her looks and looked at herself more times in one chapter than all the other characters did combined -commented on Jason’s appearance multiple times, etc. So no, she isn’t the one who stands for that. The character who doesn’t think about their appearance at all is the one who stands for that, not the character who thinks about their looks 24/7. She should’ve been the character to stand for that, cause who better than the daughter of beauty and a famous, attractive movie-star? She should’ve been the one to scream to the mortal world that ‘Hey, I’m attractive but I’m not my attractiveness’. 

7. Racism. If Riordan wanted to expand on Piper’s character, why not write about the number one thing she should’ve been struggling with before being introduced to the mythological world- racism? She’s Cherokee, and there are multiple things against First Nations people nowadays like horrible living in reservations, living in the land she knows was stolen from her people and watching her father pay taxes to the very people who stole it, etc. Bullies suck, but bullies are common. The struggles of First Nations people is not, and it should’ve been added to Piper’s backstory not only to make her more realistic and better-written, but to shine a light on the racism and oppression against First Nation tribes. 

8. Monster attacks. So Piper is the daughter of a rich and famous movie star, most likely used multiple different pieces of technology, was out in the open only a few hours away from Camp Jupiter, and was out in the mortal world her whole life, but didn’t experience any monster attacks whatsoever, even at fifteen years old? That’s extremely unrealistic and dumb. Monster attacks should’ve been used to make her backstory more interesting and realistic. 

9. ADHD and dyslexia. Was I the only one bothered that Piper didn’t show any signs of ADHD or dyslexia? Every demigod has them and Frank is the only one confirmed not to, but Piper had no trouble focusing, staying still, reading, concentrating, forgetfulness, short attention spans, etc. She was even able to read the directory at Medea’s Department Store, the writing on the wall at the Cyclops-infiltrated warehouse, Greek stories with her dad, etc. In canon, she doesn’t even have ADHD or dyslexia, but showing her struggling with it (especially as the daughter of a famous movie star who’s pressured into being perfect and poised at all times) would’ve added so much to her backstory and character.  

10. Abandonment issues. So Piper’s mother literally leaves her before she was even born...and she didn’t care? It’s understandable that she would accept her mother’s choice after finding out that her mother was a goddess who couldn’t stay with her, but what about before? She didn’t even comment on it. She showed signs of abandonment issues (insecurity over her relationships, the inability to trust her partner’s intentions, constant jealousy, difficulty with feeling actual intimacy, possessive and controlling behavior, clinginess, constant need for attention, etc.) but they were never expanded on or even called out. She was portrayed as the perfect one without any faults or need for help cause she was (in Riordan’s eyes) supposed to be the ‘strong one’ who didn’t need others to help or save her, but that just led to a dull character and flat arc. 

11. Standards of perfection. Piper is the daughter of a rich and famous movie star, is extremely attractive, etc., so writing her backstory as being constantly pressured, raised, and even demanded into always being poised, presentable, and perfect her whole life would’ve been way better than whatever the hell Riordan was doing. Piper should’ve rebelled against society, not her dad who didn’t even do anything wrong. Basically- What Piper did: My dad wants to bring me to a nice salon cause he loves and cares about me? NO! I’m going to cut my own hair even though cutting your hair in First Nations culture is literally taboo without even bothering to tell my dad that I don’t want to get a haircut to see if he’ll agree! What Piper should’ve done: Society wants me to always be perfect and presentable? NO! I’ll show them that I’ll be whatever I want to be without their input!

12. Rich and famous ≠ a perfect life. People are often mistaken that rich and famous people have the best, perfect life, but they don’t. With society’s impossible standards, controversy in the fame department, tons of hate for a bunch of different reasons, and more, Piper could’ve been the one to show that more money doesn’t equal more happiness, cause who in the world would constantly want flashing cameras in their faces, the inability to go out without being followed and/or harassed, fake friends, constant judging, the inability to have any privacy or being able to do anything normal people can, etc.? 

So, yeah. Piper’s backstory was just a steaming-hot mess, a pile of wasted potential, and flat-out bad writing. Riordan could’ve written an awesome character with a great character development, but it was trashed only because he couldn’t focus on the right aspects of her backstory. 

[leerongrong]

College Student!Haechan

part of the NCT DREAM living the Y/N life collection.

lemme introduce you to some new things donghyuck

full name: lee donghyuck

age: 19 [international]

height: 174cm

donghyuck is an adorable prankster who’s known far-and-wide throughout his life

the boy started out as a class clown, making jokes at teachers and other students in kindergarten

it got him into loads of trouble, and he didn’t really have friends because the other kids called him mean and scary when he tries to joke around with them

hyuck didn’t care tho

he loves the attention from both his peers and parents even if it meant getting scolded every night

he didn’t change when he went to elementary school, still going around pulling pranks on other people, so far as to pulling at a girl’s pigtails and being sent into detention

although his persona did change when high school rolled around

he’s no longer donghyuck, the adorkable class clown he’s now donghyuck, a rebel that hates schoolwork, teachers, and gets thrown into detention more often than he should

never does his homework, smack talks at teachers and destroys school property

people started to wonder why he hasn’t been thrown out of school yet

the only reason he’s still passing his grades is because of mark, a senior who talks and acts friendly around hyuck as if he’s just any normal student

at first hyuck thought the guy befriended him because he wanted something from him

maybe his lunch or his money

but hyuck’s blown away when mark tells him that he just wanted them to be friends

mark tells him about seeing him roam around the halls with no one to talk to,, his hands in his pockets and staying out on the outskirts and how he feels a pang in his heart

he knows the feeling of being alone with no one to talk to just because people won’t spend time trying to get to know the person underneath

he felt it himself after he moved to seoul, all the kids rejecting him from their friend circles because he looked and talked differently

and mark felt the need to befriend him

the two start hanging out alot after that

playing online games together, hanging out in arcades together, walking around school together

sometimes hyuck gives mark headaches because the boy doesn’t want to do any of his workload,, even once trying to pay mark to do his homework

and mark’s pleasantly surprised when he finds out that hyuck is nowhere near stupid

the boy could rank number one in his year if he actually put some work in

hyuck tells him it’s because school just isn’t his passion

“i want to be a singer someday. i won’t be stuck doing algebra and i’ll be going on tours and performing instead.”

hyuck’s 20 now and a changed man

he’s gotten himself into a prestigious college for the performing arts, one step closer to making his dream come true

and while he would never admit it, he’s grateful for mark. if it weren’t for him, he’s end up as a dead beat high school dropout

speaking of mark

mark went to a different college for arts, almost a town away from his

and today he’s going to come by from all the nagging hyucks’s been giving him about not meeting each other often

they’re going to meet at a cafe

and hyuck’s waiting for mark who’s 20 minutes late because of traffic

“hyung! if you didn’t want to see me you could have said so.”

“traffic’s a bitch.”

he’s starting to get bored sitting at the corner alone with nothing but his phone to keep him company, mark not even replying to his messages

until something gets his attention

its you

you’re a solo singer that started out as an actress

relatively young and have debuted for a few years now, known for your amazing vocals and catchy songs

and there you are

on the screen of a flat screen tv hanging just above him, singing and dancing in your newly released mv

hyuck’s staring at the screen and he’s listening very carefully to your song

even going onto his phone and searching for your music after the mv finishes and another show starts playing on the tv

he doesn’t even realize mark running in looking like a train wreck

out of breath and very disheveled with a very clear coffee stain on his shirt

and when he does, haechan shoves his phone into mark’s face, the latter squinting at the bright screen

“who’s this?”

“that’s y/n? she’s a solo singer, i told you about her remember?”

“nope.”

hyuck’s a little confused because?? if mark had told him about you there’s no way he would’ve forgotten

boy goes on a streaming spree right after coming home

can’t be reached by anyone for a whole 24/7, burrowing in his room with the air con on full and his phone blasting your mv one after the other

he’s hooked

goes on an impulsive buying spree for your light stick and multiple albums

pretty much spending his life’s money

droning on and on again and again to mark about you

he goes on non stop about how mark should’ve told him about you sooner, said boy rolling his eyes because, “you’re the one who forgot.”

he burst into tears when mark gave him a fan sign ticket as a reward for acing all his classes mark is THAT friend yall

hugging the life out of the older one and covering mark’s face with spit when he kisses him all over we all need a mark in our lives tbh

he still can not believe he’s going to meet you

d-day arrives

hyuck set up 5 alarms last night so he wouldn’t accidentally over sleep and miss meeting you

all his life, he’s never been a fan of working out but here he is, 8 hours before a fan sign doing pull ups and push ups because he wants to look good

he isn’t ashamed to admit that he shaved twice

nor is he ashamed that he’s using a face mask he literally just bought yesterday because they’re supposed to make him look shining, shimmering and splendid

he’s rushing out of his dorm to where the fan sign is held and he literally stops breathing when he sees you in person surrounded by security and scary looking managers

he’s reminding himself to breath because he doesn’t want to pass out in front of you while all his brain is thinking is, ‘how does she even look better in person?’

‘she looks like an angel.’

‘she’s breathtaking.’

hyuck’s convinced he’s in love

and he only watches you and stares at everything you do

he turns red when you turn to him and wave from afar

‘did that just really happen?’

‘did i just get noticed?’

‘am i in heaven?’

when its finally his turn, he turns into stone all of his planned speeches disappearing into thin air

donghyuck.exe.has stopped functioning

he gives you his gift and he knows you see him trembling and you laugh, holding his hand to stop his shaking

‘did i just hear wedding bells ringing?’

‘i’m never going to wash my hands’

he’s having his own internal crisis

you’re there staring at him for a bit, making sure you smile at him and engage in eye contact

while inside you’re a little blown away because you’ve seen your fair shares of handsome men, your own fans being the most handsome in your eyes but you’ve never seen anyone as handsome as donghyuck is and you’re wondering why he hasn’t been snatched by idol companies

both of you smile and talk to each other

and hyuck’s freaking out a little because this is his time is running out and this is the only chance to tell you the words he thought about for 3 days he even forced mark into his mini lyric writing session

“i wanted to thank you for always making me smile.”

and you’re smiling so much wider by now, the sweet words from your fans never failing to take your breath away

“are you kidding me? donghyuck you’re like the sun, so warm and you bright up my day. you’re my full sun.”

the boy practically melted then and there and had to be escorted out by your security team

the next time he meets mark all he can ramble on and on about is your fansign

“mark, she called me her sun..”

“mARK DON’T TOUCH ME I’M THE FREAKING SUN.”

“I’M CHANGING MY NAME TO LEE HAECHAN.”

[valkyrieofsmut]

Evening Snack   Vampire!Bucky One Shot

Vampire!Bucky x Female!Reader

Descriptions:   In the days of elegant balls and husband searching, Bucky is a vampire looking for a meal. (Y/n) is immediately interested in him and follows where he leads, despite everyone’s warnings. Will she survive? 

Types: Blood, choking, vampire, 1800′s aka, Reader’s wearing those petticoats. 

Warnings: Choking, blood, dub-con

Words: 2795

A/n- Written for this request, that I got, literally about a year ago. It was a tough one to write for, with my triggers and stuff involved. I had to do it pretty slow. There is some slang in there, the translations are at the end. 

Please pay attention to the warnings! If you’re not into it, turn away! Honestly, it was this, or serial killer Bucky murdering you... I mean, I could have written that, but... it wouldn’t have been sexy except those who want to be murdered. 

Masterlist

Story!

The room was decorated magnificently; beautifully colored fabric draping from the walls and tables, the furniture removed for the party to make way for the guests in their fancy dress. 

(Y/n) walked through the party, her full skirts rustling around her legs as she made her way to the group of women hovering around the edge of the room. 

"(Y/n)," her mother called. "Have you seen? Mr. Scott is here… you could go look alluring and get him to ask you to dance," she advised in a hushed tone. 

(Y/n) managed not to roll her eyes. She was saved from having to answer her mother by another woman giving a small gasp. 

"Look!" She hissed. "Can you believe he came?" 

"Did someone invite him?" Another girl hissed back. 

(Y/n) looked over to see a man with longer, dark hair tied in a neat tail at the base of his skull, brushing the shoulders of his black suit jacket. 

He turned, taking a sip from the flute in his hand, and (Y/n) saw the strong cut of his jaw, clean shaven and supporting the smile on his, the only word she could think of to describe his lips was lush, but it fit so well it didn't seem strange. 

(Y/n)'s heart began to race, and in seeming reaction, the man's head turned toward her, his deep blue eyes meeting her own. His smile changed, turning a bit predatory, and it filled her with fluttering in a place lower than her heart. 

"Who is that man?" She asked Beth, another girl about her age standing about instead of dancing or talking to the attending men in an attempt to find a husband. 

"Him?" She asked, looking over to where her companion had gestured. "That's Mr. Barnes. He's a rather charming man, though he seems to have an unfavorable reputation. I don't know why, though." 

(Y/n) had hardly put her foot forward, seeing the well dressed form of Mr. Barnes starting in her direction, but stopped when her mother caught her arm. 

"Do not even think about conversing with that man," the older woman hissed firmly. "There is something wrong with him." 

"Yes, mother," (Y/n) agreed, fighting hard the urge to roll her eyes. 

She glanced up at Mr. Barnes before turning and making her way to a table with a few finger foods and a large crystal bowl of punch, unable to keep her lips from quirking up at seeing that he had indeed noticed her discreet sign that she was interested, but had to hide it. 

"Good evening, miss," a velvety voice met her a moment after she'd gotten herself a drink. 

"Good evening, sir," she greeted back, tilting her head to show off what she thought of as her best side. His eyes slid over her exposed skin, pausing on the choker adorning her throat and stopping at her collarbone. 

"I don't think I've had the pleasure of being introduced to you before; I'd remember a beautiful young woman such as yourself," he told her, and she noticed a slight accent in his voice. 

"My name is (Y/n)," she said with a flourish of her fan, not looking at him, instead attempting to act coyly. 

"James Barnes, at your service," he told her with a bow. When he straightened, his eyes flickered to a space behind her, and (Y/n) could almost feel her mother glaring at them. "I don't want to be presumptuous, miss (Y/n), but it seems like the jailer is heading this way, and I fear this may be our only chance to meet, may I invite you- I'm going to get some air in the garden, I'll be by the rose trellises, if you decide that you'd care to join me." 

(Y/n) felt heat rising up her chest and cheeks. "Oh, well, Mr. Barnes-" 

"Please, call me James," he told her with the most charming and seductive smile she'd ever seen. 

"James," she repeated softly. 

"I hope I'll see you," he quietly said, turning and making his way across the room. 

(Y/n) watched him go until her attention was pulled away by her mother catching her arm. 

"(Y/n)," she hissed. 

"Mother, I came for a drink, and he happened to do the same," she groaned. 

"(Y/n) (Y/l/n), you stay away from him! I am serious! You don't want his reputation to rub off on you!" Her mother's attention seemed to be immediately taken away by the sight of someone else, since she started away with, "oh, Susan! Could you introduce me to…" 

(Y/n) sipped her drink, looking around the room before setting her glass down and heading toward the knot of women she'd left before, getting far enough to be out of her mother's sight before turning and making her way towards her real destination. 

The noise from her shoes was hidden by the rest of the noise in the crowded room as she made her way to the garden. She got to the rose trellises, but didn't see another person anywhere. She nervously peered around the dark lawns, hoping to see James, despite the darkness. 

She was starting to believe she'd been stood up when something touched her shoulder, and her heart nearly stopped. 

"It's only me," a velvety voice murmured, his arm going to support her, his other hand touching her arm. 

"Oh, you startled me," she brushed off with a giggle. 

A strange feeling hit (Y/n), and it took her a moment to realize that the hand touching her arm wasn't very warm, not as warm as she'd expect it to be, anyway, but, he had been outside for a while before she'd joined him, so it stood to reason that his hand could have gotten chilled. 

 James smiled that stunningly handsome smile and wrapped her arm through his, asking, "take a walk with me?" 

"Of course," she agreed with a smile, following him as he led her farther through the gardens.

They chatted as they walked, getting farther and farther away from the house, the area around them getting darker and darker as the garden lights shrank into the distance. 

"Oh, James, I think we've wandered a bit far," (Y/n) said, looking back toward the house. 

"I was just having such a magnificent time speaking with you," he told her. "Let's keep walking…" 

"It's getting hard to see out here," (Y/n) uncertainly pointed out. 

"I can see perfectly fine," James answered, "just stay close to me, I'll make sure you don't trip." 

(Y/n) hesitated; she didn't feel like she should go off into the darkness with him, fear of hurting herself, or him, filling her, but she really didn't want to end her time with him. She bit her lip, but finally gave a nod, following as he led, trying to keep the conversation going. 

(Y/n) stumbled, stopping as James did, letting out a startled noise, and his hand tightened on her arm to stop her from falling. 

"I'm sorry, but I just… can't stop thinking about your lips… I… apologize for the inappropriateness of my thoughts, but," he paused, and she could hear him licking his lips. "Would it be so terrible if I… just…" his voice was slowly getting closer, a breath brushing against her face. 

His lips touched hers, still not as warm as she'd expect, but he had been outside for even longer, now. They were soft, though, gentle with their measured kisses, methodically bringing her interest to him. 

James's lips trailed down her jaw, leaving (Y/n) making soft noises above him. 

"Ah, James," (Y/n) gasped as he got to her collarbone. He let out a rough sound and she felt her choker tighten uncomfortably for a moment before it popped and fell away from her neck. "Oh," she hummed in momentary concern before wet warmth touched her throat. 

James's lips sucked softly at her as he pulled back, kissing and sucking at a tender patch of skin. 

(Y/n) felt her body starting to tense up, her hips pressing toward him, her breasts pressing against any part of him close enough to reach.

Heat was starting to fill her, and she started gasping, her hands clutching at his arm. There was a sharp pinching feeling, and James was suddenly firmly attached to her throat. 

"James- James-" (Y/n) started to feel concern fill her, and attempted to pull away. "James-" 

"Don't worry, dove," he soothed, his voice calm and soft. 

(Y/n) felt a warm drop of something roll down her collarbone and her nose filled with the tangy, coppery smell of blood. 

It felt like a lover's caress, drawing a seductive trail down tender skin, warm, liquid lifeforce painting anywhere it touched red. 

It felt like such an erotic and powerful thing, her safety, and possibly her life, in his hands and with her inability to get away, it made her feel helpless, giving her no other choice than to let him be in control. 

"D-don't," she panted. "James, don't…" She could already feel her nipples tightening under her dress. 

There was no way he could see the small scars and scabs from the cuts she'd given herself during her alone play time; they were hidden under her clothes- so there was no way he could know how this would, and was, affecting her.

He ignored her, and when she made another complaint, his hand lifted from her hip to her throat, pressing enough to start making her dizzy, but not enough to immediately suffocate her. 

The dizziness caused the feeling to heighten, it caused a fuzzy, needy feeling fill her. 

James pulled away from her throat and sniffed. "Oh, my… You're becoming aroused by this aren't you, you little odd-pot…" 

He kept his hand on her throat, letting her get enough air to not pass out, but making her dizzy and unable to make much more than small noises of desire. His other hand moved down to her skirts, pulling at them until they were over her thighs. 

His hand dipped under, his fingers slipping into the split of her drawers, finding her wet and ready, begging for attention already. 

"You're moist, for me- for this-" he pulled back, taking in the needy look in her eyes, able to see it through the dark. He kept his hand on her throat, holding her as he rounded her, pulling her flush against his chest. "You vazey little wagtail…" 

She felt her insides quiver at the insult whispered against her ear. 

"You're not even smart enough to have enough sense to keep yourself alive," he growled, his free hand quickly tugging and pulling at the back of her skirts until they were held in place above her hips by his own body. 

(Y/n) felt the front of her top being tugged down, the stay and buttons straining a bit, and the ties of her corset cover slipping. 

"Hands on your knees, wagtail," he ordered, working with her clothing as she bent at the hips to free her breasts as much as possible, tugging roughly at one nipple. 

(Y/n) gasped, the new position causing more pressure to be put on her by her corset, and combined with his hand still holding her throat, it became more difficult to breathe. 

She heard the rustling as he undid his pants, pulling them as far out of the way as he needed. 

His chest was against her again as he pulled her skirts out of the way and pressed to her back, parting the split in her drawers as he guided himself to her. 

"Now be a quiet, pretty, little thing while I enjoy my meal," he told her, his lips pressing to her neck again and taking in her sweet blood as he slipped himself inside her. 

(Y/n) gasped for breath, her body filled with heightened awareness of his touch, especially when he dipped the fingers of his free hand in the trail of blood that had trickled down her collarbone and drew a continuance of the trail to her nipple, using the deeply colored life force to coat her nipple as he started to tug and play with it. 

Her fingers and toes were starting to get a bit tingly as he began to thrust, feeling large and strange in her unaccustomed pussy. 

When (Y/n) felt the tightening on her nipple telling that the blood had dried, James dragged his fingers along her sensitive skin, leaving trails of gooseflesh as he gathered more of the red liquid. 

His fingers drew patterns, circling her nipples and areolas and coating them before returning to pinching and tugging at them in a way that made choked whines leave her. 

A groan left him, and James released his mouth's hold on her neck. "God, you're so tight, little flower… Almost like I've picked your blossom…" He licked her neck as he spoke, letting the overflow of her blood run down her neck, but still feeding. "Watching this sweet meal drain over your bosom is beautiful, but I was taught to never waste food," he told her. 

Suddenly, he was gone from her inner walls and she was on her back on the ground. 

Her bodice was open, her corset cover, the busk of her corset was unhooked, and her under top pulled down out of the way, possibly ripped, her skirts thrown up over her belly. 

It all happened in a moment, then James' hand was back on her throat, starting to restrict her airway again, and he was inside her.

(Y/n)'s hands grabbed at him and held on for dear life as he thrust, his stiff cock pulling at her tight channel as he rutted into her like an animal. 

His mouth was on her breasts, licking and sucking the blood from her skin until her nipples were oversensitive, both begging for more and crying to get away. 

Everything changed when his sharp teeth sank into the rounded flesh of one breast and he began suckling at her as he thrust faster and harder. 

It was too much, she burst, her oxygen deprived brain slipped and her eyes rolled up in their sockets as the strangled cry of his name made it from her lips with an almost recognizable, "James!" 

He groaned low, slowing his hips as he used his mouth to clean her breast, then lifted himself over her, his hand still at her throat. 

"That's it, little trollop," he told her gruffly. "Spread your legs for me like the easy woman you are and let me use your body to my content." 

Dry, airless sobs pushed their way from her as he fucked her harder. 

It felt good- so sore, and so good- 

She wanted more, but what more was there? 

Her body was already jerking with the pace and strength of his fucking, the breathlessness of his hand on her throat making the echoing waves of her release more pleasurable, the cool night air tightening and somehow stimulating her oversensitive nipples as her breasts bounced- 

What else could there possibly be? 

And then renewed ecstasy flooded her, and she screamed out a choked noise in release. 

James sped up, cursing, his blood stained jaw working wordlessly and eyes screwing closed as she clenched around him tighter than he'd ever felt.  

"Yes!" He called when he finally found his voice. "Yes! Fuck! That's it, you tight little bitch! Let your cunt suck me in as I fuck you like a wild beast!"

She did, her hands clutching to him like a lifeline as she cried out her bliss, feeling her body twitch and beg without having any control of it. 

And then a new feeling came; the warm flooding of her pussy as he reached his own orgasm and filled her, his hips stuttering in his ecstasy as he continued pumping his cock into her. 

Finally, James slowed to a stop, taking long, deep breaths until he was fully recovered.

He used the underside of her petticoats to clean his face before moving from her and standing, straightening himself as she laid there limply. 

"Well, (Y/n), was it?" He asked, having the habit of not bothering to remember the names of his meals. "I think you've convinced me to spare you a deadly fate." 

"Huh?" She asked, her voice raspy from the pressure that had been on it. 

"Yes; I've decided not to kill you… I think my cohort Steven will be quite happy when I bring you home," he told her with a wicked chuckle leaving his deviously smiling face. 

You vazey little (wagtail) [you stuipd little (whore)]

Trollop/ easy woman [slut]

Tag List

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[spooks-and-tea]

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.11] The Final Chapter.

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, bad words, sexual situations (some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: Some big bad interrogation Spencer vibes. Thanks for reading. This chapter was short, so I just decided 2 chapter posts in one day. Let me know what you thought of the story~Pleeeeease no one repost on other sites without my permission.

Word Count: 2,015

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7.  Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.  

************************************************************************After Spencer had disappeared, JJ was surprised, to say the least.

She held the unsub by the cuffs as he angrily spoke about Spencer's big genius brain solving an equation in 2 minutes which had taken himself a lifetime of work to figure out. She asked him where the machine had taken Spencer and he replied with all of this talk about quantum mechanics, particle waves, split dimensions, and voids. Stuff that Spencer had been info-dumping about for months, regarding the case.

All JJ cared to know about was if Spencer was safe, and to that the unsub just shrugged.

The first thing the team did when you all returned to the BAU was throw the unsub into an interrogation room.

Spencer was quick to volunteer as the only interrogator in the room, he argued this unsub would react the strongest to him.

The rest of the team were still flustered from all of this inter-dimensional information that Spencer had gone on about on the ride back. You had backed him up wholeheartedly and you were seemingly in great health after being gone for 5 months.

"Alright Reid, you seem to be the only one of us that has a good idea of what's going on. We'll watch from here, and if he gets too aggressive, we'll send someone else in," Hotch agreed.

You watched from the double sided mirror, the unsub was looking at it as if he could see you. You clenched your fists. He was the reason you'd nearly lost Spencer. He was the reason that Spencer looked sick from overworking and you had nightmares for 5 months straight.

"Hey, will you be okay in here?" Spencer lowered his voice to ask you. You had refused to stop holding his hand since you got here. He noticed your fist clenching tighter.

"I don't want him to take you away from me again," you replied.

"He's in handcuffs, and his machine is being collected for evidence. He isn't a wizard, he needs that machine like Nikola Tesla needs an inductor. He can't hurt us anymore," Spencer tried to comfort you, using the soft tone he knew you loved.

"Just don't take too long in there, and give him hell for me, alright?" You stood on your toes and kissed him.

He gave you a small smile and nodded.

You slowly slid your hand from his as he turned to walk out.

When he entered the interrogation room, he was no longer soft-Spencer.

The unsub didn't even turn to look at him, he was fixated on the double mirror. His eyes unnerved you.

You crossed your hands over your chest and leaned against the wall, deciding to keep your eyes steadily on Spencer.

"We know who you are." Spencer spoke. You smiled, recognizing that Spencer was turning the unsub's words to you against him.

Was Spencer purposefully trying to make you happy while he was in the middle of an interrogation?

"I know who you are as well, Dr. Reid," his gritty voice made your skin crawl.

"Good, then you should know that I understand the significance of the science experiments you've been conducting, Dr. Arnold Lynch. You've been labeled as a dangerous person to the entire world; a mad scientist." Spencer sat in a chair, his arms crossed.

"Now they listen." Lynch, rolled his eyes, finally looking at Spencer. His unimpressed gaze trailed up and down, sizing him up.

"I was like you once. Young, an impressive mind; maybe if I had found her sooner she would have loved me." Lynch added. He looked back to the mirror, you tasted bile at the back of your throat.

Spencer leaned forward in his chair, putting his elbows on the table.

"You're trying to change the subject." Spencer pointed out. "Tell me how all of this started. Tell me where your partner, Dr. Deborah Tryst, is hiding and how she helped you."

Lynch's eyes widened. "We were colleagues. She helped me build the machine, and I wrote the equations that made it work. We went in together, the first time."

"She tested the machine with you?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, we experimented. We tried to study the void space for years. Then, one day, a crack formed. Through that crack I saw her." The unsub looked towards you, seemingly locking eyes with you through the one-way glass.

"Y/N?" Spencer clarified.

"Correct. She was spectacular, the girl from a parallel dimension. We didn't know why the crack revealed her at first, but then we saw the string. It was barely noticeable, like a fishing line. It led from her dimensional crack to ours. All it took was a tug on that wire to know who the other end of that line connected to."

He was watching me? What a sick creep!

"Who?"

"Don't play stupid with me Doctor, I know you feel it."

Spencer swallowed, his eyes flicking to you for a moment.

"I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance. My colleague thought differently. Now that the cracks were open, she observed you both, she knew you both would feel-" he sighed, "-incomplete until you were in the same space. She decided to play matchmaker and ruin everything. I loved Y/N first. Y/N was mine and she was a beacon, a magnificent anomaly! I took her back so she could be my pet; so she would never be yours!" He angrily spat, slamming his fists onto the table. Spencer stood, seething. You felt similarly.

"You had no right!" Spencer's voice was deep and angry. You'd never heard him so angry, other than in the show.

"No, Tryst had no right bringing her to you in the first place!"

"Y/N wants to be here. This is her decision. If you're so convinced you love her, you would want what is best for her."

"What's best for her Dr. Reid, or what's best for you? Is she any better off fighting criminals for the BAU? A job she isn't trained for." He cruelly laughed. "Is putting her in danger just so you can fuck her every once in a while off-duty not selfish? You think I'm the selfish one, look at yourself. You're just expecting her to be the lawful Bonnie to your Clyde, how long until you drive her into a hail of bullets?" Lynch smirked.

Spencer's eyes widened and he gripped the table.

No Spence, don't let him get to you.

"That's it, I'm going in there." Morgan spoke up next to you.

Hotch held his hand up to block him; his eyes on Spencer. "Wait, let Spencer speak. He's getting the unsub to talk, and that's good."

Spencer quickly collected himself, his expression going blank.

"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer asked.

"Ooh, did I strike a chord, Doctor?" Lynch chuckled, leaning back in his chair.

"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer repeated, angrier.

"Probably playing matchmaker. There are an infinite amount of dimensions for her to play with." Lynch shrugged.

"She's still in the void?"

"Yup, she's the reason the crack sealed when you two went through. She trapped herself in there and made sure I could never go back. Whatever she's doing, we'll never know for sure because it is impossible to recreate the initial crack. You should know just how improbable it was to create one in the first place, Dr. Reid."

"So there is no further possibility of danger?"

"Not cosmically, but, for our impossible girl over there, who knows what kind of dangerous situations you will put her in." Lynch nodded to the double mirror.

"She is not yours and she will never be yours. We're putting you in a maximum security prison where you will never see her again. So you can sit in your cell for the rest of your life and remember that she's with me, not you." Spencer's eyes darkened. You wanted to end this fight and get him out of there. He was only getting angrier.

Hotch walked through the interrogation room door, holding it open. "Reid," was all he said.

That was it, Spencer had gotten a lengthy confession from the unsub. The details would come up during his trial.

Spencer stood up, not caring about the wobbling chair as he did so. He walked out of the room and you went to the hallway to meet him. You met him as he was stomping down the hall away from you. "Spencer!" You called, hurrying to follow him.

He made his way inside an empty meeting space and you quickly slipped in behind him; closing the door.

He loosened his tie and ran his hands through his hair. You let him cool off for a few moments.

"He's right. I am selfish." He sounded beyond angry, even guilty.

He leaned forward on the meeting table, clenching his fists against the wood.

"He was just trying to get the last word in. Don't pay his words any more attention." You spoke, softly; placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't work here. You're not properly trained for the high-intensity, high-risk situations."

"Then I can train. Anyways, I doubt Hotch is going to let me work here now that he knows," you said, sadly. You loved working here. You loved helping people and being with your BAU family. You loved Spencer's daily teasing.

"Being with me puts you in enough danger. I couldn't protect you. What's stopping something from happening to you again?" He looked up at you, though he was still hunched over the table.

"All the other times you protected me." You gave him a small smile. "When Chris threatened me, you confronted him. When I jumped into the lake, you stopped me from drowning. When I was stuck in my dimension, you rescued me from a life of being absolutely miserable without you. When the unsub first encountered us, you stood in front of me even though you couldn't see him. You've protected me far more times than you are choosing to acknowledge. I trust you with my life, Spence."

Spencer's shoulders fell as his breath evened out.

"I love you Y/N, I just don't want you to get hurt." Spencer whispered, his grip on the table loosening. He slowly stood up straight to look at you.

"We aren't some alternate justice-duo, Bonnie and Clyde. We're perfectly capable of protecting each other, and we aren't some crazy serial-killing, bank-robbing couple. We're Spencer and Y/N, the BAU's hottest couple." You spoke with exaggeration and winked.

Spencer gave you a small smile. His hair was a mess, his clothing was wrinkled, and his tie was undone.

"It's been a long day. Take me home?" You asked, giving him your best doe-eyes as you reached up to fix his tie.

"Oh. About that- you're apartment and all your money and assets are sorta gone now. You were presumed dead."

"I'm not talking about that place." You rolled your eyes; unaffected by the news.

You were used to being dirt poor anyways and that house was nothing but an empty shell.

"Home, with you," you explained.

"Oh."

Spencer broke out into a large grin. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a kiss. His coffee and woodsy-vanilla scent enveloped you like a warm hug. When he pulled away, he held his hand out to you.

"Come on then, I'll take you home."

Home, it was a strange concept. Your now-empty apartment in your dimension was once your home. You'd once almost drowned yourself to try to get back to that place.

Then you fell in love with Spencer, and living with him made you discover what a home truly was. It wasn't where you were from, it was the place you loved to be; the place you felt most comfortable, the most yourself.

Your home was in Spencer's dimension, Spencer's apartment, Spencer's arms, Spencer's everyday gestures, Spencer's smile, Spencer's late night chess games, Spencer's "I love you's," Spencer's raspy morning voice, Spencer's unruly hair, Spencer's hand kisses, Spencer's scrunched nose ticks, Spencer's info-dumps, Spencer's everything.

It was the most improbable circumstance and the one thing you were most thankful for. You got to spend your new life with Spencer.

In the end, Spencer Reid kept his promise; he did help you find your way home. Your way home to him.

[stillness-in-green]

If it's any consolation, I'm sure that the Advisors and the rest of the MLA (Re-Destro, Trumpet, Geten) will show back up sooner than the final arc, just because we're going into Year 2 and the students would find great 1 on 1 or team opponents with the Advisors. Re-Destro and Geten are heavy hitters (and Geten could be tied to Dabi, Shoto and all that somehow) and they were locked up with Mr. Compress and Machia, but who do you want to see first from the Advisors?

Thanks, anon; I certainly do hope we'll get to see more of them.  Admittedly, my main concern is that I so liked what was going on with the Paranormal Liberation Front that even if we do see all of the MLA types again, if it's only in the context of speedbump battles for the students, that's still going to be a letdown.  Better than nothing, to be sure, but I really do want them to join back up with the League, even a League that's confused and out of sorts under All For One's hand.  I love RD's big spiritual-awakening-flavored crush on Shigaraki, the cross-organization tensions and relationships, just as much as I love the depth the MLA brings to the world outside of just what's going on with the heroes.

I'm fairly frustrated with how the MLA fared during and after the raid, largely because it's awfully hard not to conclude that, if what we have right now is all the erstwhile-MLA are ever going to come to, Shigaraki would have been significantly better off if he'd just killed them all and shacked up with Ujiko for four months.  And that would be such a waste!  The end of My Villain Academia was such an enormous triumph for Shigaraki! I want his victory to amount to something more than what we've seen, something that shows that both his strength and his mercy will pay off for him in the long-term, will be a concrete benefit to him rather than, with the benefit of hindsight, the reason everything went so wrong.

Particularly with Re-Destro, since Horikoshi saw fit to have Dark Shadow all but one-shot the man, and Edgeshot defeat him off-panel, it's really not going to mean much to me for him to have a big fight with students unconnected to anything else.  The drama's rather gone out of it at this point.  That's particularly the case since, if he's no longer connected to Shigaraki's plot, it's that much easier for him to just be off-paneled and forgotten about.  But, if Rikiya gets looped back in with the League, if his gratitude and admiration of Shigaraki mean he still has a role to play in Shigaraki's arc, that makes it much easier to get invested in any fights that role will lead him to. Ditto the MLA more broadly; it's categorically ridiculous to present that organization with the kinds of numbers, breadth of influence and legitimate grievances they have, only to try to sweep them back under the rug exactly like Shigaraki accuses heroes of doing with everyone they can't save. 

To say the least, I'm pretty invested.  But I appreciate your consolations and am trying to hold out hope that we'll get some good stuff with them yet!

My anxieties aside, and to hit the other portion of your ask--who would I like to see first among the Advisors?--hit the jump:

(All nicknames and shorthand are taken from this post.) 

Well, it'd be nice if they could all get at least as much to do as the Eight Bullets back during the Hassaikai arc, seeing as they got a similar splash page spread introducing all their faces.  There are considerably more than eight of them, of course, but even if they never get more attention than e.g. Galvanize or the hose-faced guy who iced Midnight did, at least then we'd have some idea of their power sets and at least one angle on their personality.

Assuming we aren’t going to get full breakdowns on every single one of them, there are still four things I'd really like to see happen with the MLA/the Advisors: the student fights we're expecting, the jailbreaks we're being told about, the reunion with the League I'm praying for, and for literally anyone in the in-world media to try and get their side of the story.

Student Fights: Seeing the guy who killed Midnight again is as sure a bet as any of these get.  Momo is an important enough character, with enough sustained arc, that she will have to get something else to do before the series is over.  Taking command of a group battle against real opponents--ones with more responsiveness and agency than Gigantomachia--would be in-line with what she's been moving towards so far.  I would, however, love it if that fight would be more challenging than a straightforward battle of tactics.

I headcanon Hose Face and Scarecrow as, respectively, an ex-con and a dude with physical disabilities--both people who have ample reason to want to change the series' status quo irt human rights abuses in prison and overly restrictive quirk use laws.  I'm not expecting the canon to validate me on what amount to wild guesses, of course, but I want those Advisors in particular to have motivations more nuanced than, "They're quirk supremacists; who cares why they're willing to put their lives on the line over this?"

A feel-good revenge match in which a bunch of teenagers lay the smack down on characters whose humanity the audience is asked neither to know nor care about would be lazy, and counterproductive to the series' current thematic concerns. Give Momo her victory, by all means, but don't give it to her easy.  A confrontation like this would be a good way for the less central Class A students to begin wrestling with the question of who, exactly, heroes "save" and what it is that people need to be saved from, exactly the way Deku and Uraraka and Shouto are now wrestling with these questions.

As far as other fights go, I'd also love to see Brand and The Question pop up again. They're probably the two I'm most curious about purely in terms of what their quirks are.  Why does The Question wear a mask, and what's he like that he wound up in Mr. Compress's chain of command?  And with Brand, what kind of quirk does he have that's powerful enough to land him a ranked position in the Guerilla Warfare Regiment but indirect enough that he fights with a sword?

Prison Breaks: I wouldn't expect this to be particularly involved, probably more of an aside than anything, but I want the Bindi Ladies to spring Hole Punch Face, thus getting us an angle on what's going on with that particular trio.  Aviator Teeth can come too because I want at least some hints about what his deal is.

I'd also love to watch Horikoshi even attempt to retroactively justify some of the logistics of the single-day capture and subsequent detention of 17,000 super-powered, combat-trained people.*  I mean, I don't think there are any feasible explanations for that, but I'd be curious to see what he'd come up with, especially if every possible answer just makes Hero Society look worse! We have only ever seen Tartarus as an example of the prison conditions in this country; I'd love to hear more, and an MLA-focused jailbreak would be a great way to show it.

PLF Reunion: Of course, my number one thing to see with a reunion is Re-Destro being just as dismayed as Spinner is over Tomura's possession.  I crave more serious attention being paid to Rikiya's profound awe over Shigaraki's freedom, and would love to see his reaction to Shigaraki apparently losing that freedom.

Aside from the obvious, though, if the PLF does start piecing itself back together, I expect to see Sanctum again, given the attention he's gotten so far, and the fact that he's now the highest-ranked member of the Tactics Regiment.  It'd be great to get some explanation for how he can possibly be "the longest-serving member of the Liberation Army," given that the Army was generations old already when Re-Destro was just a child.  (If we do get that information, I imagine my own explanation will be jossed hugely, so I would also be happy to take time with Sanctum that doesn't explain the discrepancy but also doesn't invalidate my headcanon.)  

In the context of the regiments reforming, I'd also like to see Nimble and Aster, both because this manga needs more women, and because I'd like to see more of how Spinner and Toga interact with the people they were nominally commanding.

Media Attention: Trumpet's my number one hope here--the lack of any look into the state of the government in HeroAca Japan has been a total let-down since his introduction**, but I was particularly annoyed that the last time we saw him he was smiling (albeit in a fairly haggard way), giving me hope that we might next see him doing his part to portray all of this in a light that would sway public opinion.  And then literally one chapter later, we get prison guards talking about how the Hearts & Minds Party, a perfectly legitimized political party with representation on the national level, has been perfunctorily dissolved less than twelve hours from when the raid started.  How is there even an argument that the system heroes were upholding desperately needs to change?

I'm very tired of the media in BNHA only ever showing up to beg for/demand that heroes tell them what’s going on, particularly those damn press conferences. Journalists do investigative work! Newspapers employ reporters to actively seek out news!  Reporters in free countries don't just sit around waiting for the government or heads of major industries to graciously hand them press releases!  For heaven's sake, Trumpet was the head of a major political party.  People should be foaming at the mouth trying to get a statement from him!  

Especially with public trust in heroes breaking down, there should absolutely be intrepid reporters out there looking to get to the bottom of any of the layered conspiracies the public's just been hit with and told to just write-off as a bump in the road on the return to normalcy.

Anyway, Trumpet's the obvious choice, but if I could be sure the manga would validate my headcanons about Nimble and Scarecrow's disabilities, I'd be happy to put them in this position, too.  Trucker Toad would be another good candidate, if there's any basis to my idea that he is or used to be a transport driver who's seen a lot of the country outside the areas e.g. the Top Ten Heroes are patrolling.  He's obviously a good candidate for getting back to that idea of anti-heteromorph bias, too.  But really, I'd take anyone who can give a cogent explanation of the MLA's position on self-determination and the various ways Hero Society has exacerbated quirk-based discrimination.

Anyway, that's about where my thoughts are on where I hope the MLA people are and what we might see of them.  Thanks for the ask!

--------------

*Or as many as 100,000 more than that, depending on how through the statement, "Their bases around the country were also attacked, and their supporters rounded up," was meant to be.  An influx of 116K people, incidentally, would triple Japan's current carceral population.

**Why! Why would you introduce a politician and then never even glance at your setting's political situation??