#she's a hard character to feel like I captured her whole essence

[dazzelmethat]

Here's my post for the team asano holiday exchange! for @keeweelyme !

I had a lot of fun coming up with christmasy dresses for Praline and settled on a gingerbread deer theme because I thought antlers would look cute with her bunny ears.

I would have drawn you a LAL picture but I haven't played it yet. Though the game is on sale right now so I think because of your enthusiasm I'll just have to buy and play it for myself.

[lakesbian]

stirring aisha around in my brain soup pot. there's like zero textual anything for this because wildbow isn't even capable of not objectifying her himself but btwn triggering from fear of rape + various unspecified abusive stepdads + the inherent trauma of being societally sexualized and fetishized as a black girl who, like, Exists and also god forbid enjoys wearing shorts sometimes plus the whole neglect and the thing where the one family member she's really close to only knows how to protect her by controlling her and the sense of being an unwanted nuisance to society in general because of the disability. she is really sooo about wanting to be accurately perceived and wanted but being terrified of being seen wrong & consumed. aisha laborn my girl. anyway i don't have a point to this i just wish wildbow connected the dots and wrote her good. i also wish his dumb ass didn't not only pull the narrative equivalent of the black man dying first (black boy's arc kersploding and shitting itself first) but then have his own damn sister not give a single shit abt him. but i digress it feels tangentially related to her problems disorders that after her loved ones die, w/ the exception of her own brother whom she does not care about because wildbow is insane and needs to be strung up and pelted with tomatoes, she insists on making sure that they're Perceived And Treated Right. alec's first memorial very pointedly capturing the essence of him, particularly the tragedy of his life that everyone else missed, placed where people can't Not look at it, alec's second memorial being faithfully rendered dolls (my doll imagery boy ♥) she insists on people taking care of, her being very vehement about people not disrespecting or misunderstanding taylor's memory, etc. would love to come up with what she does for brian in secret good worm where wildbow doesn't shit the bed everywhere but i haven't thought of anything yet unfortunately. well. i am leaning towards the previously stated memorial leather jacket & hairstyle + her just like. perpetually loudly insisting that he was The Specialest Best Big Brother Ever if anyone ever speaks critically about him. not because he wasn't flawed but as sort of a "fuck you you WILL appreciate how hard he tried only I get to be mean to brian." i digress it's very Augh Ough how she insists on making sure that what's happened to her, the misperception & obscurity she's afraid of, never happens to her loved ones. quite frankly one of the characters of all time ever. aisha laborn rectangular prism. this originally started as a post about why redditors are wrong about shipping aisha and alec but then i started thinking other things so now it is not about that.

[helenofjupiter]

assigning taylor swift songs to bridgerton couples (part 2)

with explanations that no one asked for (proceed with caution)

part 1 for a, b, c and d

eloise & phillip - i hadn’t even read the book and i knew paris was their song. i feel it captures their essence. “no, i didn't see the news 'cause we were somewhere else” while benophie are just as deep in the countryside, i think philoise truly don’t care about anything that goes on in the ton. “i want to brainwash you into loving me forever” i’m not sure why this line in particular stands out to me in context of their relationship. maybe because going into it they both had their agenda. also phillip constantly thinking he has to find a way to make eloise stay forever. “confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters” i think this one is self explanatory. secondly electric touch, i was hesitant about this one cause i’m just not a fan of this song sonically but the lyrics were too on point. “just breathe, just relax, it'll be okay // just the first time ever hanging out with you” - eloise sitting in her carriage on the way to meet a man who basically proposed to her without meeting once. from phillip’s “i've gotten used to no one callin' my phone” when eloise shows up and the servant’s “hey, we got a caller” and phillip going “wtf no one comes here, you sure about that”. also “i've grown accustomed to sleeping' alone” yeah eight years will do that. “i was thinking, just one time maybe the stars align, just one time and maybe I call you mine” 

francesca & michael - so i have a story regarding this one. as i got to the second half of the book and the spice started flooding in, i felt like the need for some equally sexy music in the background and i remembered (honestly don’t know how i ever forgot) the altarpiece of taylor’s music  false god. truly all the stars aligned, while i read the words “she felt cherished. worshipped. loved” miss taylor swift sang “we'd still worship this love”. other than that it does fall into the vibes category. tho if one day we are blessed enough to actually get their season i am expecting every social media feed to be drowning in edits of  franchel to this song. but also alternatively to don’t blame me. again, sexy. well the spice in this book was just on another level and i also couldn’t figure out if taylor has a song about being in love with your cousins spouse for six years. i think this is more from michael’s perspective. i mean “i've been breaking' hearts a long time” he even broke mine by being fictional. “if you walk away i'd beg you on my knees to stay” michael stirling would absolutely do this and frankly i can’t stop picturing it. if we do get to them in the show some glorious day, this is my official plea to include this song in the soundtrack. 

gregory & lucy - speak now is the somewhat lazy choice but have you read the prologue timed to this song. “i hear the preacher say, "speak now or forever hold your peace"” the church went silent “there's the silence, there's my last chance. i stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me” the priest stopped his drone, and every spine in every pew twisted until every face was turned to the back. to him. “horrified looks from everyone in the room but i'm only looking at you” she said nothing, but he saw her. // she looked so beautiful. i rest my case. it was really hard to pick a song for them because there’s so many twists and turns in the book so my honourable mentions are haunted (when gregory convinced everything is solved and then lucy goes and marries another man) and daylight. finally i settled with ivy. “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but it's been promised to another” i mean lucy has been promised to another man from the start of the book. it just fits them, okay (can you tell i’ve been writing this for four hours at this point).

hyacinth & gareth - dear god, hyacinth is my favourite character in the whole books series. i adore her but for the love of god i could not figure out what songs to choose for hyareth. it was truly a headache and if anyone has any suggestions, please do not hesitate to tell me. because they are such a chaotic and energetic duo, i wanted something that would fit them musically but ended up picking cowboy like me and peace. both are truly in the vibes category, i don’t have much of an explanation. in cowboy like me “and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” felt kinda reminiscent of the whole polt line with gareth and his father who wasn’t really his father. peace has a little more substance to it. in my head this is more from hyacinth, she is wild and you will never get bored with her but she can also be a lot and tiring. “you know that i'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. give you my wild, give you a child” this is who hyacinth is, she is a ride or die, and i truly believe she would sit in the trenches with gareth.

[fishyyyyy99]

Hello! Do you have a top 5 moments for benvi?

Hi! This is a difficult question, and I'm not sure I have an unchanging answer. But I'll try to answer based on what I currently think. Also, I'm sorry - I've chosen 7 moments instead of 5 (narrowing it down that much was hard enough).

1. I have two moments that are tied for first position. These are also probably my two favourite Never Have I Ever moments, not just my two favourite Benvi moments:

1. 3 x 10

When Ben finally tells Devi how much he'll miss her, and Devi is surprised by how she suddenly feels knots in her stomach - it's a chef's kiss moment. It made me incredibly emotional. There was something so triumphant (it's an important character development moment for Devi plus my Benvi shipping heart was happy) , yet subtle and real about that moment. The song that plays during that scene - Car Keys by Jaguar Sun will forever represent to me, the quiet realisation that someone is your person.

4 x 04

I love, love how Devi finds Ben near the lockers, and rescues him by giving him her shirt. First of all, it's Devi doing something super meaningful for Ben after so long. I also like that despite not being on talking terms, she still understands him really well and cares for him. I also like that the trope of the girl wearing the guy's shirt gets reversed, and she gives him the shirt that she's wearing, instead. Their eye contact is SO intense, and I really like how he shakes his head as if to clear it because just looking at her puts him under a spell. And then, there's their banter, and his tiny smile even though they're not friends at that point. I also like how she understands what he wants to say before he says it out loud, and accepts it. I just love their repressed longing in this scene!

2. 4 x 05

It was so beautiful to see Ben and Devi act so maturely in this scene and know exactly how to comfort each other. I also liked that their conflict got resolved without much drama in this scene, and that they went back to being best friends. I loved Devi's smile - she was so happy that she had helped Ben feel "oddly inspired".

3. 3 x 02

I actually really like the scene in which Aneesa sees Ben and Devi just having fun, because to me, it captures the essence of Benvi - they're best friends first, and lovers next. It shows just how much they enjoy spending time together. I also really like the scene in which Ben is texting Devi during Aneesa's game, their scenes in 1 x 05 and 1 x 06, their scenes in 3 x 05, and the scene in 3 x 09 after Devi apologises to him. TBH, Benvi as a whole is an enemies to lovers arc, but in season 3 specifically, it was a best friends to lovers arc, in my opinion. And this scene in 3 x 02 shows very clearly from an outsider's perspective just how they seem to have a world of their own. TBH, I think all of their other friendship moments together, form rank number 3 on this list (I think they're the reason the scene in 3 x 10 was so meaningful to me). But I'm choosing 3 x 02 to represent their friendship, because it shows someone within the show recognising how Ben and Devi have fun together.

4. There are three scenes here at position number 5.

1 x 10

Devi realises that Ben waited for her, and then she kisses him. I love how he kisses her back, then pulls back to see if this is really happening before leaning in for a much deeper and longer kiss. This is undoubtedly my favourite kissing scene on the show. What a perfect end to a great first season.

3 x 10

Devi deciding to have sex on her own terms, and not out of peer pressure is also a great character development moment for her. I really liked how she surprised herself like Dr. Ryan said she might. And this was such a satisfying and triumphant end to season 3. The use of the "boink card" was such a cute way to execute this.

4 x 10

The very, very last Benvi moment during which we see them hanging out together at Princeton. This moment just felt so very real to me. I'd say it was the realest moment in the series for me. Something about it felt so natural, and they looked like a real couple. I almost forgot that I was watching a TV show.

[catty-words]

now that i’ve spent a year with it and any given song off the album can still replenish my joie de vivre at the drop of a beat,

a non-exhaustive list of things i love about ever after (2011):

- themes!!! and! motifs!!! and how it’s about yearning for a simpler time all while knowing that you can never truly return and how the more often you try to go back to that simple time, it corrupts a little bit about what was good in the first place but also about how letting go of the innocence and hope you feel the pull toward would be just as unpalatable.

- vitally important to my listening experience is how these themes and motifs are grounded in music that captures an essence of the popular music scene from my high school years i’m not musically knowledgeable enough to describe in any concrete terms but absolutely, absolutely pings nostalgic to my ear without really having to try

- how josh ramsay et. al. were absolutely, honest-to-god trying

+ disclaimer before we really dive in: i know there’s an official story for this universe, an established canon, but i long ago decided that i get a rich enough story simply listening to the music. so though my interpretation may be wildly inaccurate, no it isn’t. :*

“ever after”:

- one of the joie de vivre restorers, the og, my everything

- how about the way my being in love with the intro ah-ah-ahh-ing from day one unlocked my appreciation for porcelain the character? no more than two days ago, i realized the ahhs were her leitmotif and had to sit with the implications of how that ties the whole album together, how it makes porcelain’s sweetness accessible to us in a way it never was to me when i only had the unreliable narration’s take on her, when i didn’t realize she had a voice of her own in the piece

- directly related, how i’m finding new stuff to lose my complete and utter shit about over a listen-heavy year later

- the way the opening lyrics successfully and instantly sweep me off my feet (and how captivating prologues are a hallmark of the band’s work, both in the writing and the performances)

- i mean, once upon a time / i used to romanticize / used to be somebody, nevermind / i don’t miss it that much now. i get chills every single goddamn time.

- the way our main character, the jaded mr. used to romanticize, is in conversation with a younger and idealistic version of himself in a way that makes me feel like porcelain is the younger version of carolina. the music ebbs and flows from the idealistic strings to the jaded, gritty guitar as the narrator once again gets pulled into his own yearning for the ever after he can never completely capture or hold onto.

- the way the second verse

functions as a call to action. sonically, too, i am rising to my feet, bloodied and ready to fight again. we are going back into the fantastical world of ever after, it was only a matter of time.

- don’t you move / can’t you stay where you are, just for now functioning as the tagline for the narrator’s self-destructive urge to cling to the simplicity of the past to the detriment of his present while also going so fucking hard should be illegal

- WHEN THE TOY SOLDIERS HIT (nobody told ya this was gonna fold ya!!!!)

- to have and hold ya, oversold ya being the first critical lyric in the case i’m building that the toy soldiers are the embodiment of our narrator’s aforementioned tendency toward self-destruction and self-loathing

- just. the build of the whole song. it’s gorgeous and it slaps, what more is there to say?

- the outro/transition into “haven’t had enough” can get it

“haven’t had enough”:

- the 8-bit sound of it and how the music somehow extremely effectively evokes playing an arcade game

- the criminally catchy hook and how this is another song that makes me at least thirty percent brighter no matter what emotional state i’m in when it starts playing. BOP O’CLOCK.

- the full circle of the song (testing, testing, i’m just suggesting / you and i might not be the best thing to testing, testing i’m just suggesting / you and i might just be the best thing) lending itself to the song’s place in the broader narrative. they’ve done this before, the narrator and ever after. in fact, they’ve been stuck now, so long / just got the start wrong. and it’s the hope that maybe things will work out this time that keeps mr. used to romanticize reliving his time in ever after over and over again (one more, last try / imma get the ending right). the arcade game is eating you alive but you’re actually pretty okay with the brightness consuming you. are you not?

- (i would inject this song directly in my veins, so yeah. you’ve got me, mr. romanticize, go on and insist / that [i] haven’t had enough.)

- that guitar (?) lick that comes in halfway through the chorus to revitalize it?? has me so completely by the throat i am a sleeper agent and that lick is my fucking trigger i am not responsible for what i do when it sets me off

- the don’t you need it?s and don’t you want it?s feeling like as much of a question for himself as for ever after/carolina/porcelain. is the cycle worth it? should we really be putting ourselves through this one more time?

- you know the moment in the chorus following the bridge, where it’s like one more, last try / imma get the ending - / YOUUUUUU? yeah, i like that a normal amount.

“by now”:

- i tend to think of this song as the official start to the story we’re meant to retread and retread and retread forever and ever amen. in order to get the ending right, we’ve gotta take a look at where everything went wrong. i feel vindicated in this read by the acoustic guitar. the jadedness stripped down

- it's time that i come clean, but / but for now can we just both pretend to sleep? building on the narrator’s defining flaw as his fear of change and how he tricks himself into believing that not moving in any particular direction means he gets to avoid the change entirely.

- how cheeky the line our talk is small, i'm seven inches tall reads to me because it captures a very real emotion about being formal with someone you know intimately, intimately but also because ever after is a fantastical toy land - let the album art influence your listening experience - and thus invites a more literal interpretation

- the menace of the drums in the outro; toy soldier motif anyone?

“truth or dare”

- you know, i didn’t love this one at first, nor “toy soldiers”, but now i’m deep in it for the villain songs

- nobody will know how you come and you go for it aka the toy soldiers being like “you’re so gagged for ever after, like, it’s kind of embarrassing for you”. wig fully snatched, i absolutely am horny for this album.

- just. the whole of verse two

and how it’s the seductiveness of the narrator’s worst impulses. give into this place, give into the comfort of it. it’s safe, we promise.

- the way the outro feels like clouds parting to the streaming sun, mr. heartthrob arriving on the scene with a near angelic leitmotif to stand up for himself against his own shit

“desperate measures”:

- and like, what i mean by that is, the whole song is about the narrator recognizing his shortcomings as a romantic hero, but pushing for action anyway. this song is the anti-stay where you are, just for now

- when the “desperate measures” guitar hits 👌

- the scathing humor infusing the lyrics gonna make a heartthrob out of me / just a bit of minor surgery / these desperate times call for desperate measures drives me fully insane. girlies when it’s gonna take minor surgery to make a heartthrob outta them but desperate times call for desperate measures

- hearing have a piece of american dream / open up and swallow, on your knees / and say, “thank you, i’d like some desperate measures, please” for the first time was just like, are we allowed to do this are we allowed to just record stuff like that and casually slide it in front of my ears my impressionable mind may experience lust 🥵

- fellas, is it personal growth to acknowledge you’ll never get over the pull of ever after? fellas, is it problematic to hinge your ability to get the ending right on a kiss for luck from your beloved when they’re already falling out of love with you?

asking for a friend.

“porcelain”:

- the vital, vital importance to the album’s fairytale aesthetics that the sweeping ballad is the exploration of the narrator’s best and worst quality: the depth of his love for porcelain, for their ever after life together. as his beacon of hope, it’s where he draws inspiration for moments of great heroism. but he also lets it run so deep that it overshadows his own personhood. and i love the way the music speaks to this dynamic with a pervasive and ominous and tense whooshing noise underlying the simple, beautiful melody.

- you can’t erase the way it pulls when seasons change because, like, yeah! time marching ever onward does pull at you, i feel this line in my bones. but also the way the line reflects back on the narrator’s relationship with living in the past vs. being in the present… woof

- the instrumental break slaps, it’s the best part of the song let’s be real. and the fact that the ahh-ah-ahhhhing returns! the narrator just told porcelain she has the space to tell him what she needs whenever she’s ready for that, and then the song itself gives her the break in which she can use her voice. fuckin masterful!!

“fallout”:

- SONG OF ALL TIME when the intro hits i lose all semblance of composure it makes me need to punch windows!!! i am gargling the glass!!! i am launching myself into the stratosphere and i’ll never feel the pull of gravity again!!!! FUCK

- okay but. the way this song is the narrator at his worst, his most cloying, his most pitiful. it is THE pathetic meow, meow anthem and the fact that it goes as fucking hard as it does... i cannot articulate the implications without wanting to pull out my hair but. it’s alluring!! being your worst self has a great pull on you! there’s a certain kind of dark triumph to it! WHERE’S THAT BROKEN GLASS

- the way the ‘boom-boom-tcha’ of the beat starts to speed up so there are no rests as we approach the chorus. we’re losing control: of ourselves of the narrative of the song itself!! take me away, ian casselman.

- the way you’re sleeping like a babe beside him makes me think of ‘babes in toyland’ every time i hear it. i’ve never actually seen the movie, i don’t know if it’s thematically resonant, but kind of like the seven inches tall lyric from “by now”, it simply tickles my brain that the words can evoke the universe we’re in with only sparse accompanying visuals

- how the performance of i know you’re fine but what if i / fallout crescendos. filed under: lyrics to belt along with in your car with all the windows down

- mm, shoutout to live at the rave milwaukee (2022) for giving me undying appreciation of the backing fallouts. can these boys harmonize or what?

- the way and nevertheless / it’s never you let tastes

- one of the very first things that captivated me about this song, and indeed the whole album, was the delivery of don’t tell me to fight / to fight for you / after this long, i shouldn’t have to. the pain of it?? the kinda understated wail? i turn this part all the way up in my headphones and ache ache ache

- god, just. i’m back to how pitiful it is to ask the person who’s broken up with you to be with someone else to take care of you because you don’t know how to get over this on your own. why do i love this song? why do i need to be screaming along to this song at all times?? i actually hate the narrator here, but god does the music move me in a way that kindles empathy

- porcelain’s leitmotif coming in to like, soothe us through the end of the song. the way that’s her doing what our narrator’s asked??? girl, couldn’t be me

“stutter”:

- i’d gone through a bit of a cool phase with this song, a period of ‘mm, this is cringe, actually’ but i’m just coming out the other end to be in love again. too fun for it’s own good.

- in terms of the narrative of the album (and this is the one thing i do know about the canon story), this is the narrator meeting a new character, one who has let themselves be consumed by ever after (i won’t ever be anywhere but here), now forever stuck in the cycle. it’s bright and fun - like the arcade game consuming you - but there is a brokenness to it, too. it’s too late to go / already taken me forever just to try…

- the backing ooh nah nahs tbh (thank you, matt webb)

- like, try not to bop along, i dare you

“toy soldiers”:

- now that our narrator’s been galvanized to want to move on, to leave ever after behind, we gotta get the villain in here to remind us you can’t actually escape.

- the lyrics who’ll be my montague now / to this broken capulet / how, how, how if not for you and the way the how-how evokes the word ‘house’ before moving on to the rest of the line.

- the refrain of don’t you want love? shining a light on the narrator’s insecurity that he’ll never have something as special and formative as his relationship with porcelain and how the toy soldiers are exploiting that to convince him to stay in ever after. you need to get this back, you can’t just walk away. don’t you think i [ever after/the narrator himself] deserve better after all that we’ve been through?

- and then of course the threat of i’ll follow you like toy soldiers, a reminder that ever after is with you whether you choose it or not.

- fuck man, the second verse

is fucking lit, the inherent threat. *touches a hot stove* the poetry of it.

- this song is one of those that never caught my attention when i was first falling in love with the album, but now i can’t believe there was ever a time i was kinda indifferent to it. it makes me feel like the embodiment of this emoji 😈, an emotion i apparently quite like to feel

“b team”:

- the way the intro of this one feels like a distorted version of “desperate measures”. the toy soldiers have baited the narrator into bitterness, and perhaps this is the part of the story where mr. used to romanticize is born, the seeds of him planted

- the way the second verse

illustrates the particular shape of said bitterness, and how it’s directed at porcelain for breaking the illusion of ever after again and again. the way this is clearly the least gracious read of their relationship - we see the narrator’s hand in the destruction even if he can’t - and really drives home the way mr. used to romanticize getting seduced again and again by the toy soldiers makes them the voice of his self-destruction

- the way porcelain’s out here like, “boy, i would pay you to stop.”

(this bridge bops, though, make no mistake)

- the way the ominous church music outro manages to communicate that there’s about to be a mother-effing reckoning

“so soon”:

- and in that reckoning, finally, the narrator lets go: of his bitterness, of porcelain, of ever after. it’s an achingly sad and slow affair, but there’s heart-wrenching beauty in the journey, as well

- the way the narrator’s love for porcelain shines brightest right here, in these quiet and unassuming verses

- the way the outro is, like, porcelain and our narrator being released to float peacefully away from us as the ominous organ takes over and - call me crazy - but it feels like the organ is ever after becoming more than just a presence in the narrative but a voice, as well. (i know rosh ramsay et. al. did the transition music at the very last second, so it’s honestly incredible how cohesive and Correct it all manages to be, happy to be out here stanning legends)

“no place like home”:

- GOD but the hundred-voices-as-one production of the opening lines and how it’s every version of our narrator who climbed into the hole of ever after one last time speaking at once

- the way that lends so much weight to familiar sins come crashing in / and sever forever and after / my old friend, it’s time i leave you here / for once, for all in frozen alabaster, his goodbye to ever after and to porcelain. maybe he really means it this time.

- (okay, but ever after, porcelain being home, though 😭😭)

- the lyrics my old friend, it’s time to say goodbye again / no need to tell me where you’ve been, i feel it for reasons only @nottheleastbrave​ knows and needs to know

- when our gritty guitar comes back now, it’s full of triumph, and we revisit some of the album’s key lyrics and this is it!! the narrator is taking what he needs from ever after to weave something new!! he’s breaking out but not leaving it behind!!

- WHEN THE TOY SOLDIERS HIT reprise

- the way the toy soldier chant builds to i face the music when it’s dire, finally a statement of responsibility and selfhood, a long way away from the i never face the music when it’s dire and the command of face the music when it’s dire in “ever after”. and in direct response to the toy soldier’s onslaught! i say that’s my baby and i’m proud!!

- and so does porcelain herself!! her gorgeous leitmotif coming in once more to bear witness to and approve of our narrator’s moment of self-actualization

- once upon a time / this place was beautiful and mine / but now it’s just a bottom line and he’s officially let go, freeing himself from the cycle

- and in closing off his path back into ever after, he’s finally worthy of the love he’d mythologized to the point of destruction ([there’s no] yellow bricks and happily - / ever after we lived / the end)

- the music box tinkle of an ending inviting you to start over from the beginning, find comfort in the fairy tale all over again. do you dare complete the circle one more time?

in summation: it’s a silly lil pop album, it’s high arté, everyone could get something worthwhile out of listening to it, no one will understand this album like i understand this album. thank you for reading.

[fightabear]

anyway, re: convention. here's my debrief and i have three weeks until the next one. the grand total earned was about $1,300. which isn't terrible for a two day event! but i won't lie, it is less than i was hoping for. i didn't get as many commissions this year and that's a bummer because doing those is my favorite part. i would legit do them for free if i could but THAT'S NOT GOOD BUSINESS SENSE

my setup still needs tweaking - i think i need to learn harder into the commission portion of it. someone was suggesting maybe i do need two tables and i'm going to look into that next year.

more details under the cut because this got long.

but man oh man has it ever improved. i made less money this year than i did last year, but that was my own fault. i didn't advertise myself as well. plus a snowstorm hit. and my table helper kept just getting up to leave or getting deep into conversation instead of helping me watch for folks and left me very ?_? please notify me so i know i need to watch for clients.

i'm also going to add some more discount options since word of mouth is how this works best. i had some plans to lean into that but they fell through because i went really hard on the charms this go around.

i still ended up being the one greeting people & engaging them and that might... just be how it is! i'm a huge extrovert offline (and a shy introvert online) so any time i saw a cosplayer i recognized the hype kicked in. and i think as soon as i added my dungeons & discounts option (if you get a tabletop commission and tell me the story from the campaign you get $5 - this helps prevent awkward silences! i don't mind drawing in front of people but i find it a lot easier if they're engaging with me, it's like - less pressure? because then i can talk to them while i draw and it ignores my adhd to hyperfocus and work harder at capturing the essence of their character) that helped a ton because people would see a whole party of people at the table recounting the tales of epic adventures end up wanting to get in on that.

i might just need the help friend to be there to process sales and maintain the waitlist.

some highlights: there was a group of cosplayers that kept walking by my table and i recognized 2/3 of them and was excited about it, and as they were walking away i realized the third was a bigtop burger cosplayer and i like had to call them back to ask if that's what they were cosplaying. i think i made that person's day because they were so so so excited someone recognized them. i handed them some of my prototype sailor moon design stickers bc i forgot i even had them with me and they were so excited. i ended up giving out a lot of those just for the hell of it because people got so excited and also commented that the design is incredibly cool which means i need to get off my ass and do more of them.

i kept trying to do a walk of the hall but i'd stop to just ooh and ahh over people's work. things got so busy during the day that i couldn't get up and go buy stuff so i'm hoping that they'll be at the next event too.

and man, i have like! regulars now! people who make a point to stop by my booth to get a comm. they were so excited when i remembered them and i was so giddy they remembered me. and man some folks just came by to chat! and i made friends? folks are local to me. being a WFH adult means that i don't get many opportunities to hang out with people and i feel like those skills atrophied over the last three years.

i got to catch up with my favorite professor from college who said she was genuinely impressed by the evolution of my art (its my 10 year graduation anniversary in may, christ) and was really really amazed by my setup. i told her i was promoting the hell out of the program all day. i got to see classmates i haven't seen in years and we're making plans to have a big week long anniversary party in the summer.

i also had another (former) professor (not mine - but he taught many many many of my friends who have all said he's notoriously difficult to please - great guy but holds things to a high standard) run behind my booth to check out how i had things set up. when he popped back out in front, he grinned and gave me a thumbs up and said it was "very impressive" and my friend turned to me like "are you on cloud nine or ten right now?" and i was like - wa - wait i know that who was that and he was like THAT WAS SANDY! HE NEVER COMPLIMENTS PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

i guess people were talking about my setup and how quickly i work. and the art guests for the convention - according to my friend at least - also think my work is impressive?

it's funny how much can change in the span of a year or two... i think i had quietly retired my dreams of ever doing something with my art because i knew what my strengths were but i had no idea how to correctly monetize them.

i do know this: i'm going to go ahead with the comic i've been planning. this is entirely original, not a fan comic. it's going to be a queer vampire x werewolf horror/slowburn romance set in atlantic canada. two main couples a wlw & a mlm ship with an extended cast of varying identities. there are themes i want to explore about the gentrification of the maritimes and greed leading to environmental destruction, with chapters from different character perspectives to show a different side of atlantic canadian life that are very much not mine to tell so i would want to get guest writers who have that lived experienced to tell it.

there's a few things that stuck with me, little lines i'm gonna remember forever. someone said they're surprised i don't have a comic - and then followed that up with saying my art is "a full meal" not just a "snack" even when it's just a sketch.

and my college friend's wife - who shares my first name - was like oh you're the one i've heard so many stories about! and i was like - stories??? what stories?? because in my head i'm the houseplant and the wallflower.

it is still very strange to feel seen and to realize you are perceived, especially when you tend to make yourself small because you feel awkward for how much space you tak eup. i think for years i've assumed i'm the person that's always just kind of... there in a situation, literally even if it's a party i'm throwing. or if i've found a cool thing to do and i'm inviting a friend, they're going along with it because they don't want to go alone and the experience of going there is the thing they want and not the experience of going together. the pandemic and the isolation definitely didn't do favors for me, and oh boy did it not when a lot of it was spent in a really toxic relationship.

this was a reminder that people are wonderful and want to be around me, and reaching out to engage with them is what i need to do. they want to hang out with me and get to know me, and if my 30s are going to be anything it's going to be letting them get the full me.

[big-green-apple]

Hello, Carley (and everyone else)! I hope you read this whole text! I worked on a little surprise for you last week and just got it all done on a Thursday night! I felt so inspired that the urge to draw fan art for you refused to leave me so... here we are with my eight initial pencil doodles of the characters in your Hazbin Hotel fan fiction "Wait for Me"! Admittedly, the last three doodles were a bit rushed because I wanted to get everything done before my Friday lunch date with my best friend. I can't call it my best work, but overall, I am proud of how they turned out! I want you to be the first to check this out and give me your critique! But if you don't like this, I'll take down this post without complaint (even though I really want to draw reaction shots and outfits with your permission). I waited till you uploaded the newest chapters to post this on my brand new tumblr page. I took pictures with my phone camera since I didn't have a scanner.

I would've broken out my wooden case of art supplies to color everything if I wasn't still very worried that I may have messed up some details. (Is the hair curly enough or too curly? Is the freckle count inaccurate? Is the beauty mark on the wrong side of the face? Did I get the face shape or fringe style wrong?) This is also my first time drawing anything in a cartoony style (and I'm sure my usual anime-esque style still leaked out here and there; what a difficult transition). I thought drawing the characters in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss cartoon style would best capture the... spirit of the fandom / essence of the series, however I should put it. I hope it doesn't disappoint badly. In case it wasn't obvious, Molly was the very first one I doodled, and then I worked on Anthony. I don't know why I parted Alastor's hair on the left side (at least his forehead is visible). Also, I feel like I messed up Maddy's hair (she, Rosie, and Hank were the last characters I drew). Lipstick is hard to draw! About those eyes, I guess I was going for an aloof big brother look for Bruno (I don't know if I failed). And I need to go back and fix Hank's sideburns and eyebrows.

Carley already gave the OK for reblogs. It's her fan work and if you're interested, you can read on Wattpad or Archive of Our Own! (I've added the links) Check out her other works, too! And her Twitter page, if you want!

[c1tyhaunts]

— 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓.

name: Avian "Avi" Delilah Esparza

name meaning:

Avian— of, relating to, or derived from birds (I always considered Avi to be a "baby bird" to some degree; she was just pushed out of the nest without much guidance. Naive, to some degree)

Delilah—Means "delicate, weak, languishing" in Hebrew. In the Old Testament she is the lover of Samson, whom she betrays to the Philistines by cutting his hair, which is the source of his power. (Avian, at her core, is a delicate soul trying to travel a cruel world with kindness.)

Esparza— One who came from Esparza (barren; place where feather grass grew), in Spain. From the latin "sparsus" - spread abroad, scattered. Hence it probably refers to land that yields little.

alias/es: 

Avi is a common moniker for those she's close/affectionate with. Birdy is also one that's floated around occasionally, mainly mockingly but could be used in a flirtatious context; her dad used to call her his baby bird as a joke and teasing of her particular nature.

ethnicity: Black/Biracial || Dominican/Italian/Cuban (Afro-Latina)

one picture / icon you like best of your character:

It's hard to put a definitive one (1) photo that really captures Avian because in general, her resemblance claim (Lisa Bonet) has probably been the closest to really capturing Avian's essence for me (and I've had Avian as an OC for nearly 10+ years). Like, I always saw Avian having an "Old School" glam to her that Lisa represented during her time in the 80s-90s. the photo in the middle really represents how Avian is 90% of the time, very "my fair lady" core looking for a knight to sweep her off her feet so she can STOP DOING SO MUCH FUCKING WORK.

three h/cs you never told anyone:

Avian cannot lie nor can she lie convincingly, in fact, she aims to avoid those kinds of deceptive situations if she can. It's a weakness that she actively knows she has due to her disdain for social dynamics & social "subtleties"; if there is a situation where lying or deception is necessary, if she's alone she's going to fall right on her face. Otherwise, she'll look to the others to come up with something more creative. But, a benefit of that is that Avian always keeps her emotions on her sleeve and won't misguide someone in how she feels or thinks. She's never one to lead someone on, as long as they don't do that to her.

It's mentioned briefly, but Avian was homeschooled for the majority of her adolescence due to her ASD; James thought it was best to assist her development directly up until she turned 14, allowing her to engross herself in the subjects she'll enjoy instead of keeping her in situations that will constantly make her uncomfortable. James pushed her into a private high school afterward because he knew it wasn't wise to shelter his daughter the entire time. Of course, due to Avian's naivety and lack of social etiquette, she was a quick target for bullying & harassment, which made her cold on the exterior to protect her gentle interior.

Although her adolescence has taken a major toll on her perception of intimate relationships/friendships, Avian still considers herself a "kind" person and will go out of her way to help others even if they don't directly ask for it. Avian will come off as curt and rather weary with individuals as she first meets them, but she will not hesitate to try to make their lives better. It's what her father taught/showed her, after all. The man gave his whole heart and trust to others without question, and while Avian, in age, learned he was more cautious than he put on, Avian still believes in the best in others and will keep her kindness/heart open to those who need it.

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

Baking/Cooking; James wasn't that great of a cook, unfortunately, so when Avian was old enough to hold a knife, she started to dive deep into cooking, gastronomy, and baking. This was her first genuine "fixation" that led her to her love of pharmaceutical sciences. Exact measurements, complex flavors & combinations, the idea of mixing things together to make something new, helpful, and innovative? That's fascinating to her. Avian probably would have been a cook in another life if it was more financially lucrative. But, at least those close to her get tasty treats.

Shopping or doing her makeup; this is something Avian definitely leans more heavily into in her adulthood. She always dressed so homely as a teen, being one of those "I'm not like other girls" teens for a minute, not enjoying pink or wearing dresses or makeup... now she's obsessed and she's an absolute princess. If she has nothing to do in her downtime, she's messing with her looks.

Reading; Avian, at her core, is a fucking NERD. Most of the books she reads are nonfiction or scientific.

people your character likes / loves:

James; her father and always her number one. That man was her best friend, her confidant, and critic. Anything her dad said usually went. He always challenged her to be better, and even in death, that influence follows her. Avian has grown to be more hesitant about her father's teachings the more she corresponds with her uncle, Che, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her dad. James just may have not been the beacon she set himself up to be.

Che; her estranged uncle whom she has been corresponding with more and more this past year. Now, it's more of a borderline of liking him - she still doesn't know him well - but it is nice for Avian to have some sort of family outside of those she lost. Even if Che's methods/intentions are cruel to those outside the Esparza/Ferraro family line, he's kind to her and that's all that matters.

Almyra; her childhood friend, the only kid on the block who came to visit her when she was homeschooled. They had a falling out their senior year of high school due to Avian's open crush on her, but that doesn't mean Avian hates her. The two occasionally pass on social media comments, liking each other photos. She wonders if Almyra thinks of her... But she won't dwell on it.

(BONUS) Lilith; @shivasdarknight's OC and Avian's partner in crime and main ship depending on the universe. Lilith may be one of Avian's only true friends out there, and the first person Avian has actually fallen head over heels for. He's literally a walking knight, reckless but full of soul, and the right fit for Avian and her brashness. They're a match made in heaven.

two things your character regrets:

Ironically with how much influence she takes from her dad, she regrets not being more critical of his actions and his perspective. She followed blindly because her heart needed it, but she wasn't growing from her father's sheltering. She needed more, and she should have asked for it.

It's a funny one, but Avian regrets not dating more; she'll admit it, she's a woman, she has needs, she's interested in people. She wants to explore her sexuality more, and never got a chance to do so yet! But now she's broaching her mid-twenties without even having sex yet! What a scam. That's why she's on dating apps just experimenting. Her realizing she's bisexual made her realize "Oh god, now I have a larger pool of disappointment to jump into."

one phobia your character has:

LARGE CROWDS OF PEOPLE; Avian can handle a small group of between 4-5 people, but anything larger than that gives her anxiety. She's used to being ganged up by a large group, so being surrounded by a mess of people will rev up her anxiety to high levels.

tagged : @cartelheir mwah tagging: @ohshadow, @waterdepths, @bellecosebabe, @tinzony (for the least developed OC/character), @nezemny (Same thing!) and whoever's interested

[cursedvibes]

What is your favorite horror movie/book?

(it's amazing how I immediately forget all movies and books I ever watched/read as soon as I see the question)

I'm having a hard time deciding on a movie. With horror movies there are two types I like. One, the ones that actually scare me, make me feel uncomfortable or haunted and then there are the ones that end up being a bit silly (intentionally or not). I'm gonna focus on the first kind.

Valhalla Rising

Technically not a horror movie, but it genuinely makes me uncomfortable and creates this creeping tension that I don't see in a lot of other movies. It's about a thrall that escapes only to be recaptured by some Christian Norsemen, who want to start a crusade to the Mediterranean countries but accidentally end up in Greenland, where they are brought to the edge of their sanity and eventually get (rightfully) killed by the natives.

There's not a lot of dialogue and instead many long shots of foggy mountains and the sea. Lots of nature with no living being in sight. But that's what I like about it. It makes one feel powerless, lonely and you can understand why the characters all go slowly insane from the solitude. When there's not complete silence or natural sounds, you have this slow droning in the background that's also very haunting.

As for books: Skull Throne by Jake Ozga

It's a Warhammer short story, but the setting is pretty easy to understand even without any knowledge of the world. Premise is, you have a girl or young woman living alone in a desolate land and abandoned village. Every now and then (human) agents of a chaos god (representing violence and hate) come by looking for survivors to terrorize. The whole thing is set up as a mystery around who the POV character is. There are many clues that become even more meaningful on the second read, like a casual remark that there are bodies underneath her floorboards and sometimes she talks to them. It's told from the first person perspective, and has this very surreal and dreamy narration style, mainly because the mc is high for most of the story.

The girl has visions of someone who looks exactly like her getting captured and decapitated by three chaos agents. She doesn't know if this is her future or her past and tries to block out the visions with drugs. Eventually, one of the men from the vision comes by and she manages to detain and kill him, which makes her feel alive for the first time in forever and she decides to set out to find the other men to take back "her" skull. What makes me especially like this story is that in its essence it's about the intense and deranged bonds between family members.

Below are two of my favourite scenes.

I like this very detached and casual approach of the mc to violence, which fits with having to live in such an awful place and also...her relationship to her parents, which gets revealed later

Ending narration:

It's not a movie or book, but I also want to give a special shout-out to this audio short story.

The voice acting is incredible, especially for the tech-priestess. It's one of my favourite type of horror stories. Innocent, unassuming person accidentally stumbles into a world of horror. What they thought of as familiar becomes unfamiliar and frightening and they eventually pay for their carelessness. The helplessness of the protagonist at the end is especially cruel to witness. Even better if the person stumbles upon a secret laboratory or something. I sometimes try to incorporate that into my own writing like Jin finding part of Kenjaku's research in Stitches Across The Eye or Wasuke visiting Jin in Quiet of the Cold, where he first only subtly notices something is off until finding Jin's corpse. They both don't get directly harmed in those cases and what they find isn't nearly as horrifying as this story, but I tried to go for the same kind of vibe.

[jinkx-monswoon]

AUBREY WATCHES AS8 - EPISODE 7

WE'RE BACK!! SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ASS EPISODE UNDER THE CUT

as someone who had chicken nuggets at her graduation party, i say live your truth kandy U_U

LMAO LALA'S FEELING HER OATS

oml not jaymes pulling an irene 😭

crazy to me that everyone unanimously decided to go against track record. like it makes the whole thing shocking but also Not

good for kahanna but i think this is gonna be the straw that breaks the camel's back and she's gonna go home. granted she DID do okay in the trailer challenge but i think that's a one time thing

what up my name's lala i'm 32 and i never fucking learned how to count B)

LIL POUNDCAKE. OH MY GOD OHHHH MY GOD STOP IT

SHES BAAAACK

imma foxx, anita klew and ura dragg. they really went for low hanging fruit LMAO

it wouldn't be an acting challenge without a single cutthroat fight over a role <3

lmao alexis rlly went "ur tone seems very pointed right now"

"WHO DIED" STOPPP KANDY

oh my god. i love jimbo and jessica comforting alexis and then being like "bitch wtf" as SOON as shes out of the room LMAO

AWW. jimbos still being sweet thats adorable

KAHANNA WTF YOU DOING!!!! WHATS GOING ON

this season has been sooo drama filled and it is hard to properly enjoy

NOT RUPAULS DRAG INTERVENTION. OH MY GOODNESS HELP

YAYYYY KAHANNAAAA !!! U CAN DO IT THIS MIGHT BE UR RUDEMPTION ACTUALLY

STOP NOT THE READ ON ALEXIS

"I GOTTA WIN" COUNT. okay as disastrous as this season has been, the editing is fucking hilarious

mother jimbo giving kahanna advice!! shes a sweetheart honestly 🥺

take a shot every time the camera catches the GIANT bald spot on alexis's head LMFAOOOOO

THE LIL POUNDCAKE REPLICA?!?!?! OK BUT WHERE TF IS HER MIDDLE FINGER!!!! THIS IS CENSORSHIP ISTG

wait im so confused. why are there multiple lil poundcakes?? why does the position of her arms and hands keep changing between shots?? huh

OMG THE UNCENSORED FOOTAGE!!!!!

me looking at the replica lil poundcakes like "YOU WILL NEVER BE HER"

hypothetically if this lost all stars season actually happened ten years ago as jessica's character said, it would actually fit into the timeline because as1 was in 2012, as2 was in 2016 and this "lost season" would have been in 2013. this could have been the original as2 and then lil poundcakes disappearance caused the hiatus...... 🤔

ok wait?!?! kahannas actually not doing half bad <:DDD

LALA OMFG STOPPP 😭

"the nosy ass bitch made a troubling discovery U_U" took me OUT

A SMALL CALICO CAT NAMED YVIE ODDLY??????????

"a pussy?" LMAO

NOT THE WHISPER SUBTITLES. OH THEY CAPTURED THE MFIN ESSENCE

ELOGUENT??? 😭

lala: "she a little 🚗 💨 to me"

"A'KERIA IS THE BODY" IM GONNA PISS

oh. oh my god not the peeling skin on the finger thats so fucking gross EW

oh my god this is compelling. they introduced jessicas character as miss congeniality so u could NEVER suspect her....

ONLY A $25 REWARD LMAO

LALA?!?!?!? LALA WTF

HOLY SHIT. WHAT A TWIST. OMG

oh my god. lala is so fucking funny im losing it

THE RU-ENACTMENT HELP

HAHA NOT LIL POUNDCAKES FOOT GOING STILL TO SHOW SHES DEAD. THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL

WHAT!!! LIL POUNDCAKE LIVES?!?!?!?

okay that was actually really funny. im kinda living

OMG I FORGOT THEY DIDNT HAVE A SCRIPT. THAT MAKES THIS SO MUCH BETTER

ngl alexis kinda flopped for me?? 😭 she wasnt very expressive ig

omg hello baloney ghost fan

lala is almost definitely taking this but i think kahanna might be okay. i say ALMOST and MIGHT because the production of this season has just been all over the place 😭

miss fill-in-the-blank? ok this should be interesting

THE SAUSAGE CROWN OMLLLL

uh oh. ok now im worried for kahanna because nothing about her look matches the theme, only her presentation on the runway. its pretty but it just doesnt match the theme!!!

MISS BOOTLEGGER. oh my goodness

ASIA O'HARA'S DRAG RACE!!! OH MY GOD THE FUCKING CALLBACK I FUCKING LOVED THAT MINI CHALLENGE STOPPPPP

this challenge is lala's. im calling it

this look is SOOO kandy omg

"it looks like cookie and elmo had a baby" MISS VISAGE PLEASE ELMO IS A CHILD

its funny because i only get the bandanna code thanks to jaymes. thank you for educating the children jaymes mansfield U_U

just googled and um. alexis did i really have to know that about you fr 😭

WHY IS JIMBO AUSTRALIAN

omg OMG SHE SAID LET LOOSE

uh oh? kandy bottom?!

ok im glad i wasnt the only one who clocked alexis's acting lol

YESSSSS LALA!!!! OMG I YELLED AND CLAPPED SO MFING LOUD

HUH. BITCH WHAT. KAHANNA CLEARLY HAD BETTER CRITIQUES THAN KANDY ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDINGGGGGGGG

how funny would it be if alexis got eliminated and kahanna survived her 4th bottom. that would be so funny

did u see the way jimbo and jessica looked at alexis when she stepped out earlier? honestly i think they're gonna vote for her. man if alexis goes home that would be so motherfucking funny

the way my face dropped when they were like "omg could it be gigi goode?!" but no it was jorgeous. damn 😔

OOOOO it's about damn time they used this song am i right?! lizzo lipsyncs literally never flop this is exciting

WERKKKK LALA!!! WERK THAT MFIN STRUTTTTTT

LALA WHAT WAS THAT SPLIT OMG?? SHE WENT DOWN FACE FIRST WHAT

lala def won that. she was smiling the whole time and it definitely boosted the performance

ok im gonna record my elimination reaction. see yall next week <3

[farbeagle]

Now that my longest-ever fanfic is done and posted, I realized I needed to do one more thing to truly purge it from my system: Make a "meet the OCs" post!

Honestly do not care if anyone reads this, I just need it out of my brain

Let's meet those OCs!

Before we begin: I must admit to being generally anti-OC in my reading and writing. It's not personal, it's just that I came to read about a certain set of characters and their relationships with each other, not some strange character I've never heard of before. However, I feel like readers can tell when something is half-hearted, so I tried my best to use the OCs unapologetically and to not brush over them in the narration.

Let's begin

Jayce & Janiyah (he/him & she/her)

Janiyah is the older sister, slightly younger than Hassel. I felt bad for not giving her more of a personality, but her whole deal is kind of that she diminishes herself in service of the clan. She's supposed to represent Hassel's "bad ending," so to speak.

Jayce and Janiyah are both Blasian, or the Pokémon equivalent, and I based Jayce's personality in particular on the "Vancouver Asian" archetype— in love with the city, always getting bubble tea, avid mallwalker.

Most Picrew are not super compatible with wacky Pokémon character design, but I pictured them both wearing brighter colors and bolder patterns— Janiyah in particular wears a lot of orange and red.

NOTE: I got extremely lost in the "let characters of color have brown eyes, dammit" sauce and kind of forgot that making every single dark-skinned character have dark hair and dark eyes in a world where odd-colored eyes and hair are totally normal might circle back around to having weird implications. Fanfic is not representation, but I just wanted to point out that I knowwww I know okay I know.

Asahi (they/them)

Asahi is the most "nothing" of my OCs; essentially a lazy self-insert to imply more life in the Arts District. They were originally called "Ace," which is a placeholder name I use online, and they look almost exactly like me at age 19 or so. I changed their name because I decided having a character named "Jayce" and a character named "Ace" was unbearably Dr Seuss for a serious fic. Them saying "aces" to Hassel is a shoutout to their original name.

Brenna (she/her/any)

For having such a simple design, it was really hard to find a Picrew that captured the entirety of her essence. She has true brown hair and yellow eyes, for reference.

I made a separate post about her that you might be able to dig up, but the essentials are thus: she's a big ol' powerdyke, she LOVES clowning, and she absolutely despises Geeta

NOTE: Brenna's feelings are not a secret commentary on my own feelings for Geeta. I ADORE her. We shall have a summer wedding.

Joel (he/they)

I also couldn't find a satisfactory Picrew for Joel. He's a bit older than this image would imply and he ONLY ever wears his conductor's cap.

I did my best as an allistic to write him as autistic. He's an electrician and his special interest is model trains (stereotypical, yes, but that's actually the result of me projecting my own love of model trains onto him! I fucking love model trains).

Taiho (he/him)

Taiho is a young sumo instructor from Kanto. I didn't spend any more time on him than the others, but his lore just popped into my head, so he has slightly more backstory.

Taiho's dream was always to open his own sumo school and bring the art to as many people as possible. Geeta knew him previously and, when she became Champion, recruited him with the promise of helping secure a grant to open up a sumo school in Paldea.

Lennon (she/her)

Don't let the Picrews fool you, Lennon was a silver-haired anime girl from day one. Picture it in a gradient from silver to black, the silver gradually overtaking the tips as she got older.

Lennon is another placeholder name I use online. Tbh she and Brenna are tied for my favorite OCs.

Stan (any pronouns)

Stan is That Cool Librarian. We all know one. That's all I got.

NOTE: You may have noticed a discrepancy in the pronouns listed vs the pronouns used in the fic and I'm gonna be sooo honest with you: a bitch was just tired. My first pronouns struggle was trying to figure out if I should use "he" or "it" on Gyarados and by the time I got that worked out I was simply done. So everyone gets one unambiguous pronoun and that's IT.

I'm TIRED.

[mi4011wagmigunawardana]

The Creative Machine. Mary Blair.

This segment highlights the Creative Process of Mary Blair.

Mary Blair was an American artist and designer known for her unique style and contribution to the animation industry. Her creative process was heavily influenced by her love for colour, shape, and storytelling. Through her work, she developed a distinctive visual language that continues to inspire artists today. Here are three key aspects of Mary Blair's creative process:

One of Mary Blair's most notable characteristics is her use of bold, vibrant colours. She frequently experimented with various colour combinations in order to create eye-catching and dynamic compositions. Blair was drawn to colours that conveyed a sense of joy and whimsy, as evidenced by her work for Disney's "It's a Small World" attraction. "Colors are like magic," she once said, "they can make you happy, calm, or excited." Her use of colour in her artwork was not only aesthetically pleasing but also helped to convey emotion and atmosphere.

Blair's artwork frequently features simplified shapes and patterns, giving her designs a graphic, almost childlike quality. She was gifted at reducing complex ideas to simple, recognizable forms. Her designs for Disney's "Cinderella," for example, feature exaggerated shapes and proportions, such as the oversized pumpkin coach and the towering castle. Blair was able to create images that were easily recognizable and memorable, while also conveying a sense of whimsy and imagination, thanks to this approach to design.

Narrative Storytelling: Mary Blair's artwork not only looked good, but it also told a story. She had a talent for capturing the essence of a character or setting in a single image, often conveying a sense of narrative or emotion. This talent is on display in her concept art for the Disney film "Peter Pan," which features whimsical scenes that capture the spirit of J.M. Barrie's original story. Her work for "It's a Small World" tells a similar story through the use of vibrant colours and stylized imagery, showcasing the world's diverse cultures in an entertaining and educational way.

Sources:

Art And Flair Of Mary Blair - Book by John Canemaker

"Mary Blair." Disney Legends. https://d23.com/walt-disney-legend/mary-blair/.

About the Magic - Magic of Mary Blair

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: There's actually not much to go on when it comes to Mary Blair and this is entirely the fault of me not having the foresight when I picked her at first. it's proving really hard to find substantial information about her when it comes to how she did what she it, a lot of it just praises her for her work. I feel like it's too late to pull back and restart the whole process so I'm just going with this for now, but I'm totally demotivated because of the lack of information about it and how hard it's been to gather what I've gathered here. let's just hope all this is worth it. I'm going to sleep now, its 3AM, pray to god that all of this will be magically fixed by the time I wake up, good night everyone.

[desertgremlin]

OMG I love Zoya! She is so bitchy (sorry for using that word) but I love it. She kind of reminds me of Blair from Gossip Girl. Like they are both beautiful, vain, unkind people but they really love themselves and are fierce and fearless. I know Zoya's personality improves and there is a reason why she is the way she is. I appreciate that she grows but I also love her flaws lol.

And yes, the show is really well casted. Like obviously it isn't going to be 100% accurate (like, it would have been cool if they cast an actual fat actress for Nina or if Wylan had red hair) but the actors really capture the essence of the characters, which is a testament to their talent. And yeah, congrats to the person who cast Tamar and Tolya, that was *chef's kiss*

I'll keep watching to see how I feel about Matthias. Like, I get it. I do get why he is the way he is. But I just feel like he is so resistant to opening up his mind and that's what bothers me. Like, I know it's hard to let go of your upbringing. But I just feel like he really doesn't want to! It takes him soooo long. Like even when he has proof (Nina!) that his beliefs are not true and are harmful he is still skeptical and I'm like, these people are very patient with you because I would have knock you upside your head already and kicked you to the curb, you little baby. That time when Inej tells him that maybe he isn't enough for Nina, I was like, facts! 😂😂😂

And yeah I feel like...I'm just gonna call him Nikolai lol. Nikolai was always the way he was presented in the show. But because we don't know who he is right off the bat, I was suspicious. Like it wasn't that much of a twist, like you could def figure out who he was in the books, so I was like, this is annoying, just be real. And he also was coming on to Alina, which from her perspective I'm sure is great, but I was like....hmmm. I was always team Mal, but he was being dumb as hell when that was happening so I get why people were like, Nikolai and Alina should be together. And I also just found it suspicious when anyone came onto her, because it was like, are you trying to use her? I was team Mal because she wanted him, but none of them were that good enough for her haha.

Basically! I always love the women and give side eye to the men, but what else is new? 😂😂😂😂

Zoya is, like, that bitch and I kinda love it. I need to pick Rule of Wolves back up and finish reading her whole arc.

True!! It's definitely not 100% (hollywood 😤 beauty standards etc 😤) but I like that the actors have got a lot of the character mannerisms/vibes down. Love seeing them be brought to life like that on screen.

Hahah, loving women and side-eyeing men is your brand bestie and it's the most valid stance ever. Nina and Alina could use your counsel, you would've had them all kicking all these men to the curb and living their best lives instead 😂

Let me know if you've seen more of the new season, like no rush I just wanna know what you think of the pacing of these storylines 👀 And some of these character developments 👀👀

btw did we ever talk about how GoL s2 ended??? I feel like I took a while to get the time to watch the last few eps and I can't remember if we came back around to it, what did you thinkkk.

[lilliganmusic]

You liked my Top 10 Favourite Anime OSTs, so I hope you'll enjoy my Top 10 Favourite Anime OPs and following that EDs.

I'll be weighing up the sakuga, animation quality, editing and even foreshadowing in the OPs, as I'll be swayed going by song alone. As I'll be looking at foreshadowing, there may be some spoilers, so skip if you don't want any. Mother’s Basement does all the analysis on a whole bunch of these OPs, way better than I ever could, so check him out!

I made all the gifs in this post!

Honourable Mentions for OPs that didn't make the cut!

Assassination Classroom - S2 OP4

"Bye Bye Yesterday"

Cowboy Bebop - S1 OP1

“Tank”

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure - Part 2 OP2

“Bloody Stream”

Kakegerui - S1 OP1

“Deal with the Devil”

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun - S1 OP1

“No.7”

And now on with the chosen ones!

10.

Teasing Master Takagi-san - S2 OP2

“Zero Centimetres - Yuiko Ohara”

If I don’t talk about this OP no one will! It’s not the most spectacular OP ever, but it doesn’t need to be. For an OP so soft, it’s hard hitting with the foreshadowing, such as the joke box Nishikata makes and the rubber Takagi lends him. I think this OP is so sweet, and I remember I used to get butterflies during that dance scene and that scene at the end where Takagi writes on Nishikata’s back. I don’t know the singer AT ALL, but her voice is so lilting and sweet! She really captured the essence of a childhood crush in 90 seconds. I can’t wait for S3!

9. Demon Slayer - S2 OP2

“Zankyou Zanka - Aimer”

Demon Slayer is a simple shounen, and the OP fits that; there’s no grandiose foreshadowing to events that happen seasons from now, but god take a look at this stunning OP.

LOOK! AT! THE! FUCKING!! ANIMATION!!! THE MUSIC!!!! THE FORESHADOWING!!!!! This OP is CRAMMED with sakuga! My poor heart BROKE when I saw Rengoku’s hilt guard at the start. Poor Uzui’s backstory is hinted at, but they get you so hyped up for the upcoming action and BOY DID THEY DELIVER THIS SEASON! I want to kiss Aimer on the mouth for giving us such a good OP, I didn’t think LiSA could be matched.

8. Kaguya-sama: Love is War? - S2 OP2

“DADDY ! DADDY ! DO ! - Masayuki Suzuki feat. Airi Suzuki”

AHHHHHHHHHHH I DIDN’T THINK THIS WOULD BE A FAVE BUT HERE IT IS! The music! The animation! The subtle details! Mwah mwah mwah! Brilliant! They fall in love with each other more every season! Their battle for love in the first season was fierce, unapologetic in its brutality, deadly! Here, it’s blossoming into something gentler, but not losing its intensity in the slightest. Also we get to see the side characters up to their antics at well, which is never a problem.

Btw this song is a MASTERPIECE, seeing the name of the song has you singing along already, I am dying to see what they do for S3.

7. Ranking of Kings - S1 OP2

“Naked Hero - Vaundy”

I already did my analysis on this ahah! Wow, I didn’t think you could pack so much emotion and foreshadowing into an OP but boy was I wrong! You can feel the love pouring out of Hiling’s gaze, and the love that went into making this superb OP. I love Vaundy, and I was so ecstatic to see them doing the OP for one of my now favourite anime ever.

This OP will definitely have the same nostalgic effect in ten years, where you burst out singing as soon you hear it. There’s a few like that on this list too. Oh yeah, and this may be the only OP on here to make me cry upon its first viewing. I would love to give it a higher ranking — I would’ve based on Vaundy alone — it could easily sit in the Top 5 any day, but we’ll see how the season ends first :D.

6. Attack on Titan - S1 OP1

“Feuerroter Pfeil und Bogen”

YEAAAAAAAAH!!! FIRST ANIME BABY!!! And I used to skip the OP WPEOSKDMSOEN. Still, this OP is utterly ICONIC!!! We all scream “JAEGER” at the top of our lungs, there’s no denying it.

The ~cinnamontopography~ 😩. The organised ranks of soldiers in almost blinding monochrome against the chaotic titans in splotchy neon colours. The way Annie, Mikasa and Eren move is so goddamn satisfying and beautiful to look at. That’s some REAAAAAL nice sakuga, straight from Studio Wit themselves. This OP was really the best first OP for a series like AOT, they knocked it outta the park!

5. Nichijou - S1 OP1

“My Ordinary Life - Kataomoi”

If that zooming shot isn’t the coolest thing you’ve ever seen in your life shut up with your butt up. The OP is so funny and the song is such a FUCKING BOP!!! They instantly set you up for all the gags that might take place over the course of the show and let you know you’re in for the craziest “slice of life” you’ve ever seen. Get ready to dance your ass off when this comes on, I’m making sure your feet leave the floor!

4. Neon Genesis Evangelion - S1 OP1

“A Cruel Angel’s Thesis”

ICONIC!!! GODDAMN ICONIC!!!! I love everything about how this OP looks and sounds. All that religious imagery and symbolism. Whatever could it be foreshadowing :0. Seeing flashes of the monstrous Eva 001 sends a thrill up your spine, and those frames of text let you know this ain’t your average mecha. I love those long sweeping shots, this anime really killed it with its editing. I’m glad the song is so iconic— it should be with such a sexy name. If you’re not singing along when you hear the lyrics, I’m gonna cause the third impact on your ass.

3. Beastars - S1 OP1

“Wild Side - Ali”

The minute I saw stop motion I was hooked, there was no doubt this was going down as one of my favourite openings. I love the chase at the start, the foreshadowing of the fountain, the confusion between lust and hunger in Legoshi's mind, THAT BEAUTIFUL DANCE SCENE? I got butterflies for like the first 30 times I watched it over and over. The song is an absolute bop as well, I hope ALI keep making music for a long time to come.

2. Mob Psycho 100 - S2 OP2

“99.9 - Mob Choir”

I nearly orgasmed every time I heard that damn bass riff at the start. Down bad for that bass. This OP is so creative visually, like it’s jaw dropping in the execution of all these different styles and mediums. That 3D spinning Lego animation at the start is fucking AWESOME! My favourite shot would be where all the layers that make up Mob separate and then hit him all at once, that shit gave me goosebumps. S2 went to new heights and the second OP definitely outdoes the first.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - S1 OP1

“Again - Yui”

Anime fans are weeping knowing that something belonging to FMAB is in first place. It’s a good OP!!! It slapped me in the face with it’s foreshadowing and I failed to notice, smiling demurely like a fool!

It is a perfect OP, you hear this shit and you’re already singing. It’s such a beautiful OP as well, with plenty of sakuga, emotional beats and hype moments. Of course, every time you hear Yui start singing you just know things are gonna be good. Starting with the transmutation circle that started all this shit, and ending with Ed throwing his arm in the face (eye?) of GOD??! Wow, I implore you to check out Mother’s Basement for more in-depth analysis of this masterpiece of an OP.

(Please don’t ask me why this GIF is like this, I have no idea)

[captainninej]

Lmao I just found out that SJM's parents are a court judge and a lawyer and she grew up in NY's Upper West Side (aka richie rich type of neighborhood). No wonder she sucks at writing characters who deal with poverty and discrimination and institutional issues 🤷🏽‍♀️ she's also an only child which explains Feyrug and Alien behaving like the whole universe revolves around them 🤦🏽‍♀️

welp. that explains a lot

i don't want to say people from privileged backgrounds can't write characters from other backgrounds at all, but it definitely requires a level of care and attention to detail to make it realistic and to stop your own privilege leaking into your writing as much as you can. you need to research, you need to empathise, and you need to remember that you will likely never be able to capture the true essence of the experiences you are trying to write.

sjm does none of this. she tries so hard to be revolutionary but it falls so flat because she doesn't even try to develop any sort of understanding of institutional issues. she would rather use them as window dressing, case in point: using breonna taylor to promote ACOSF OF ALL THINGS. Y U C K. she gives very white-woman-trying-to-be-woke-to-prove-she's-not-a-racist energy. but her bigotry is so OBVIOUS in her writing it's fuckin painful to read.

again, she can't control her lack of siblings but BY GOD don't try to depict a complex sibling dynamic if!! you have no idea!! how it works!! NO SIBLING would tolerate how rhysand treated feyre's own sister, and no older sibling would let their youngest go out into the woods every day. you could grow up in the most divisive, broken family and there's still an unbreakable bond between siblings. you may disagree, you may hurt each other, you may not talk every day or get along. but you will never seek to destroy your sibling's life or put them in danger.

i'm a middle sibling in a house of three girls. my older sister and i talk a lot about how fucked up the relationship between the archeron sisters is (she's only read acotar and that was enough for her). reading these siblings is PAINFUL. my older sister and i would never send our youngest to hunt for us. i would never hope for my sisters to starve?? i would never let a MAN control my sister's life and destroy her apartment, or force her to hang out with my friends who HATE her. i wouldn't even tolerate anyone being rude to my sister.

my friend is an only child, and she's sometimes really confused at the dynamic between me and my sisters. how one day i'll be ranting about one and the next i'll tell her how we did something funny together. and that's okay!! it's not like she has any experience with siblings. but she's also not oblivious enough to go on to write an entire SERIES about siblings, about something she doesn't understand and likely never will.

honestly, from what i remember even aelin's relationship with aedion is more realistic than whatever the fuck is going on between the archeron sisters. at least their love for each other was never in question. they disagreed, but aelin and aedion would fight tooth and nail for each other. the archeron sisters? if rhysand asked, at this point feyre has already forced nesta into countless uncomfortable situations and pulled her life from underneath her. she's trapped her in a house with a man she's uncomfortable with, she DESTROYED HER APARTMENT, told her she's an embarrassment for having PTSD (which feyre herself has suffered) and then offered her up as a prize to eris, a known abuser. she may care about nesta, but she doesn't love her.

im so sorry i went off on a rant LMAO i have a lot of feelings about the sibling dynamic hahah

[nat1nonsense]

Okay so here’s my long, sappy post regarding the finale of The Seven, and then I’ll log off for the night lmao

This season meant the world to me. This story, these characters, their challenges and their individual character arcs, a lot of them felt so incredibly personal to me because I could see myself in so many of these characters. Everyone at the table this season managed to capture the essence of high school girls who are so close to graduating that they can almost taste it, but also the essence of teen girls who are scared or apprehensive about what comes next in their lives because so many of their friends are different ages so they’re at different points in their lives, or they want to take entirely different career paths compared to what they thought they would all be doing together. And this is just the group dynamic, I haven’t even mentioned each characters personal life and story yet.

Danielle, Sam, and Ostentatia are the characters that stood out to me the most. Each of them had specific moments in their stories that felt extremely relatable and hit really close to home. Danielle because she had her whole MomentTM at the ball, and the way Erika and Brennan described how Yelle was feeling in that moment compared to how she felt her entire life will always hold a special place in my heart. Sam because as a trans kid with a bit of a temper and more than willing to lay my life down for my closest friends, it’s hard to not draw a connection to her. Ostentatia because she was so bold and loud and loved her friends so intensely, and she also had her insecurities and worked hard to make sure that no one would pity her or worry about her or anything of the sorts. But it goes without saying that all of the seven have a special place in my heart because they’re all insanely wonderful.

The whole table did wonderfully this season, I am nothing short of impressed by all of them, but Brennan also deserves a special mention once again because, and I already made a post about this but I’ll say it again briefly, his wonderful talent of acting and storytelling and making connections between characters feel so raw and genuine is what made this season feel especially magical. Logically I knew that this was a d&d campaign with lots of role play, but at certain points it just felt like genuine moments between Brennan and whichever player he was talking to in the moment.

This season made me think a lot about my friends and where our lives are going and I could not be more scared but also more excited to see how things play out, and I wholly believe that this season is why I’m less scared of the future than I typically would be.

And that concludes my sappy post because it’s late and I’m sleepy and I don’t wanna get any more emotional than I already am :,)