Tumgik
#she's finally admitted her feelings to herself and to Sonny but she's still growing and that means that she needs time
cycat4077 · 3 years
Text
My Sonnyshine is finally smiling, truly smiling and happy and that's all I've ever wanted for him 🥺😭
#please feel free to discuss the ep with me in the comments#i have a lot of feels and 99% of them are because I am happy when the characters/people I love are happy#so the fact that Rollins is finally opening up to him and wanting to be with him makes me ecstatic#have you seen that genuine smile?#he's in love#he may flirt and drop suggestive shit like the hotel room comment but Sonny Carisi is not a man to hit and run#no he's the type to dive in head first into the deep end#he's gonna treat her like a queen and romance her all proper - just as his Mama taught him to#now don't get all flustered by Amanda saying she wants to keep it secret for now#i really don't think that's her having reservations#instead it's clearly a plot device to introduce conflict down the line with trials and stuff#but to Amanda i think she wants to take it slow and in this case slow is secret and it's all because she's been burned so many times before#she's finally admitted her feelings to herself and to Sonny but she's still growing and that means that she needs time#time to explore her own feelings#her past relationships have all been quick flings - men that are garbage and treat her as such#but Sonny is the polar opposite of all that and she's finally coming to terms with the fact that she deserves someone like that#so of course they're going to be on slightly different pages when it comes to pace#but Sonny is willing to go as fast or as slow as she needs because he loves her that much#ooh look! this evolved into a tag rant anyway!#I just REALLY love seeing Sonny smile with his eyes again#he needs that happiness in his life#sonnyshine of my life#sonny carisi#rollisi#law and order svu#svu spoilers#svu s23 e01
3 notes · View notes
4stars-uswnt · 3 years
Text
Eyes for Only One [Alex Morgan x Reader]
Tumblr media
requested by @androgynousmoneyflowervoid: Hey could you write a alex morgen x reader Where reader is new in the team and a couple of players are mesmerized by her. They try to make a move on reader and try to get her attention. But reader has only eyes for one person and that is Alex Morgan.
A group of the USWNT players stood agape on the sidelines, watching you do your pre-training workout. You had taken your shirt off about half way through your workout, leaving you in only your sports bra.
“What are you guys doing?” Alex Morgan confusedly asks her teammates, approaching the group.
“Admiring our new teammate and her extremely fit body.” Emily explains.
Alex directs her attention to where you’re wiping your face, and she can’t help but stare at your body. They certainly had a good reason to admiring, as you were the most beautiful woman Alex had ever seen.
“Why is she working out before training? She’s gonna be exhausted.” Alex points out, tilting her head.
“I dunno, but by looking at her body, I can tell she can go for a long time.” Kelley smirks, nodding in approval.
Alex rolls her eyes at her best friend’s innuendo. “Kel, you have a girlfriend.”
“And? It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the female figure. In fact, I’m sure if my girlfriend was here, she’d be admiring (Y/N)’s body as well.” Kelley remarks.
Before Alex can respond, Vlatko blows his whistle. “(Y/N), get over here!” He waves you over to meet the rest of the team. “As many of you have noticed,” he glances knowingly at Kelley, Emily, and the others who had been ogling you, “we have a new call up. Everybody, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”
“Hey.” You wave at the team, smiling. You scan the group, recognizing many of the world-class players, and your eyes fall on Alex, your breath hitching. Obviously, you’d heard of Alex Morgan and seen pictures of her, but nothing could compare to seeing her in real life. Feeling someone’s eyes on her, Alex looks around and makes eye contact with you. You immediately look away, embarrassed you had been caught staring.
“You can get to know (Y/N) later and ask her all the questions you later after practice.” Vlatko continues, holding up his hand to stop Emily, who had opened her mouth to ask you something, before he begins to explain the plan for training and the first drill.
To say that the USWNT had been impressed with your play would be a massive understatement. Your touch on the ball was extremely controlled and quick, and you worked well in the middle, connecting the back line to the forwards. Not only were your soccer skills outstanding, but your strength, agility, and speed were something worth mentioning. By the end of training, you had more than proved yourself as national team caliber, leaving the rest of the team wondering why you hadn’t been called up earlier.
—————
As you slide into an empty seat on the bus, Emily turns around in her seat, already starting the inquisition. “So, where are you from?”
Looking up from your phone, you answer the blonde defender. “LA.”
“Another California girl!” Kelley hollers, and you chuckle and nod.
“Sonny, wait till dinner to question the newbie.” Megan shouts from the front of the bus.
Emily humphs and turns back around in her seat, making conversation with Lindsey.
You slip on your headphones and listen to your music undisturbed for the rest of the ride back to the hotel.
—————
At dinner, you find yourself staring across the room at the forward who’d been occupying your thoughts all afternoon and evening.
“(Y/N)!” Ashlyn calls out from behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Time for your interrogation!” Ali slaps her wife’s shoulder and scolds her.
“(Y/N), it’s not an interrogation.” The older defender reassures. “We just wanna get to know you a little better.”
“Sure.” You nod, as the entire team turns their chairs to face you.
“How old are you?” Kelley starts.
“29.”
That definitely raised some eyebrows, as the team was still curious as to why and how this was your first call up, especially given your talent.
“Why haven’t you been called up before?” Christen asks from next to you.
“I’ve received call ups ever since I was 18,” you reveal, shocking many of the women, “but I’ve never been able to attend camps or actually be on the team. It just was never the right time. I had to take care of my younger siblings, and my family was tight on money.” You tell the team a shortened version of your story so they get the gist of it. “And we all know FIFA doesn’t pay women enough money.” You add on with a small chuckle, causing the entire room to laugh and roll their eyes.
“Well, we’re glad you’re here now. We could definitely use your skill going into the Olympics.” Alex admits, smiling.
You turn to meet her blue eyes and return a smile, nodding in appreciation. “Thanks, it’s really great to finally be here. This has been a dream of mine since I was little.”
“Who was your favorite player growing up?” Tobin asks, muffled by the food in her mouth.
“Michelle Akers, definitely.” You affirm, taking a bite of your own dinner.
“Good choice.” Tobin hums in approval.
“Are you single?” Kelley shouts, earning an elbow to the rib from Alex.
“Kelley!” She chides harshly.
“What? It’s a serious question.” The freckled-woman insists before turning to you, awaiting your answer.
“Uhhh, yeah I am.” You nervously scratch the back of your neck, and Kelley smirks at Alex, whose cheeks tint pink, as she looks down at her lap. You feel your own face flush, as you watch the older forward. Something about this woman captured your attention, making you feel things, but you couldn’t exactly put your finger on it.
“(Y/N), where’d you get that banging body?” Megan jokes, smirking, and you chuckle lightly.
“I guess just a lot of working out and playing soccer in my free time.” You shrug nonchalantly.
“Well, it definitely paid off.” The pink-haired woman winks, as you duck your head.
“(Y/N)! How’d you do that shifty move to beat Tobin down the sideline?” Mal pipes up eagerly.
“Yeah, how’d you meg the nutmeg queen?” Christen smiles, teasing Tobin, and the rest of the team laughs.
You grin at the women around you, feeling lucky to have this opportunity to not only play with some of the best players in the world, but also to get to know these incredible people. You, once again, find your eyes landing on Alex and can’t help but admire how beautiful her laugh sounds and her infectious smile.
After answering a couple more questions from the team and finishing up the dinner, you all head back to up to your rooms.
You enter your room, with your bag rolling behind you, and find that you’re rooming with Kelley, who’s crouched down, unpacking her suitcase.
“Hey roomie!”
“Hey, Kel. I assume this is my bed.” You point to the one closer to the door, as the other woman had already dispersed her stuff on the other side of the room.
“Yeah, sorry. Is that okay?” Kelley stands up, looking worriedly at you.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” You smile and nod, reassuring her.
The two of you unpack, shower, and get ready for bed. As you pull back the covers and get into bed, Kelley puts down her phone and looks over at you.
“What’s up with you and Alex?”
“Uhhh…what do you mean?” You freeze and your eyes widen.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Kelley says with faux seriousness. “You couldn’t stop staring at her all throughout practice and dinner, even with everyone else’s attention on you.”
“No I wasn’t!” You vehemently deny, ignoring the blush arising on your cheeks.  
“Mhmm.” Kelley raises her brow. “Just so you know, Al was staring at you too.”
You slightly tilt your head, hesitantly peeking over at the other woman. “Really?”
“Yup.” She pops, smirking. “And, she’s texting me right now, desperate to know what I know about you now that we’re roomies.” Kelley sings, shaking her phone.
You feel butterflies flutter in your stomach at the thought of Alex Morgan asking about you.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I gave her your number.” The defender winks.
“What? Kelley!” You exclaim, your eyes widening. “How did you even get my number?”
“I— uh — I might have got it from your phone while you were in the shower.” Kelley winces, bracing herself for your reaction. Luckily for her, you were a chill and laidback person.
You just roll your eyes at your roommate and chuckle. “Of course you did. You trying to play my wingwoman?”
“Well, based on the minimal interaction between the two of you and the incredible sexual tension, I could tell neither of you were gonna make a move anytime soon, so I just nudged you along!” Kelley bursts with an explanation.
Before you could respond, you hear a ding from your phone.
“Oh! Is that Alex?” Kelley jumps from her bed onto the foot of yours and peaks over your shoulder, trying to see the name on your screen.
You bring your phone close to your chest, out of the other woman’s sight. You glance down at the screen and see a message notification from an unknown number:
Hey (Y/N)! This is Alex Morgan. I hope you don’t mind that Kelley gave me your number.
“Well?” The freckled woman bounces with anticipation.
“Yeah, she sent me a message.”
“What does it say?”
You show her your screen, allowing her to read the message.
“I can’t believe she ratted me out. What a snitch.” Kelley mutters under her breath, and you snicker at the other woman.
“What do I say?” You ask nervously.
“Just be like ‘Hey. Good to hear from you’ or something simple like that.” She shrugs, moving back to her bed.
You nod and type out a response.
(Y/N):
Hey Alex! How’s it going?
A few minutes later, you get another message from the star forward, sparking a conversation between the two of you.
Alex:
Good. Just watching some random show Emily put on. How bout you?
(Y/N):
Haha sounds fun. Kelley and I are just hanging out.
Alex:
Nice nice. How was your first day of camp?
(Y/N):
It was amazing! The team’s awesome and super welcoming
Lol the soccer is also fun.
Alex:
I’m glad!
Haha yes soccer is fun, especially when you’re as talented as you are
Your cheeks redden upon reading that message, and you feel like a teenager all over again.
“If you two get married, I better be given credit for setting you two up.” Kelley teases, noticing your flushed face, as she goes to turn off her lamp.
“Shut up, Kel.” You respond, shutting off your own light. “G’night.” You throw over your shoulder, as you turn over on your shoulder.
“Night, (Y/N).”
You reopen your phone and respond to Alex.
(Y/N):
Wow. Thanks Al that means a lot esp coming from you 🥰
Alex:
No problem (Y/N/N) 😊
Do you maybe wanna grab some coffee tomorrow before breakfast?
You beam at your phone, a giddy and nervous feeling overwhelm your body before quickly typing out a response.
(Y/N):
I’d love to!
Wanna meet in the lobby at 8:30?
Alex:
It’s a date! Can’t wait :)
Goodnight (Y/N)
(Y/N):
Night Al
You power your phone off and set it on the night stand. Pulling the covers up to your chin, you can’t help but feel excited for your plans with Alex tomorrow. Today was the beginning not only for a new experience on the USWNT, but it was also the start of a new adventure with a woman who would ultimately become the love of your life.
300 notes · View notes
Text
Years Gone By
Tumblr media
(Not my gif)(Requested by @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ )
(I felt this kind of format was better for the request.)
Michael Corleone x reader
D- Y/n is a family friend of the Corleone’s who’s been in love with Michael for as long as she could remember. Though the older boy had no interest in her growing up, old feelings come back and new ones develop after they stumble across each other in Sicily. 
Growing up with the Corleone’s was... interesting, to say the least. You laughed with, hugged and kissed them, but a part of you was always aware of how dangerous they were. You knew the hands which held yours so fondly had also done horrible, violent things.
But you accepted that, understanding that there was a space between right and wrong in which the Corleone’s fell. A space which allowed them to protect you, your family, and so many others. Your own father had done things no one in your family was proud of, but his actions had allowed you to fall in with the Godfather and earn you a place in his heart and home. 
You spent countless hours with the family; growing up alongside the boys and Connie. You could still remember all the giggle filled sleepovers you’d had with girl who was just a year younger than you were. All the family dinners, the days spent in the pool, the holiday and birthday parties. Oh the parties. How you’d blush as the older men and women would ask which brother caught your fancy, a question which made Connie’s nose wrinkle in disgust. She adored the idea of having you as a sister but the thought of you liking one of her brothers; at least when she as younger, grossed her out. 
Growing up, most of the boys had little interest in you besides their occasional teasing and need for a substitute listener when their other brothers had no interest. Sonny had a habit of chasing neighborhood boys away from you, though his actions were spurred on by little more than a brotherly instinct to protect you. His blunt way of acting amused you but there was a brother whom you’d pined over for nearly your entire life....
Michael was a softer soul; quieter, kinder, calmer. His face the embodiment of Italian beauty: dark features and tanned skin. He was six years older than you were, practically a man while you were still a young girl. You didn’t expect him to return your affections, you only hoped and prayed. 
You were twelve years old when he went off to college. He’d given you a hug, kiss on the cheek and pat on the head, promising you and his sister that he’d be home for the holidays. You were crestfallen. It took you an entire week to stop feeling miserable. Then at sixteen, you and your family went to live with some relatives in Sicily... so no more Michael, even at Christmas. 
The Corleone’s kept tabs on you through the mail. You’d get at least one letter every two weeks, usually from Connie, which kept you updated on everything that had happened. Over time you put your affections for Michael on the back burner; you couldn’t live the rest of your life hoping he’d notice you, right? You had a few short lived Sicilian romances which were merely puppy love or convenience centered. No matter what you did, you had no luck with relationships. You’d practically given up on them; throwing yourself into your hobbies and chores. It was during one of those chores that you crossed paths with your past once more. 
It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, wildflowers blooming all around you. You’d been sent into town by your mother who’d entrusted you with buying a short list groceries. It didn’t take you long to accomplish the task around town, gathering all that you needed in just under an hour before starting your trek home. 
You pulled your hair out of your face, adjusting one of the bags around your shoulder as you walked through the grassy clearing which led you to your families estate. That was when you saw him, flanked by two armed men and bearing an angry bruise on one of his beautiful cheeks. You stopped in your tracks and his eyes flitted to you, locking onto your face as his own morphed into one of subdued shock. 
“Michael?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, pitifully quiet as you felt the world around you freeze. He stood still for a long moment, in fact, neither of you moved until you heard the men who accompanied him tease him about being hit by a thunderbolt. You felt your cheeks flush. 
“Y/n.” His voice was soft but you could still hear it, the surprised tone which it held was not lost on you. 
He took a slow step forward before he finally approached you, standing in front of you tentatively, completely unsure of himself for one of the first times in his life. You made the first move, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing yourself flush against him. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you in closer. A part of you feared him feeling your beating heart, knowing that it would give away your feelings for him and yet a part of you knew that things were different now. What was between you had changed, morphed from childlike fondness to strong attraction which coursed through every part of you. 
So many questions threatened to spill from your tongue and yet, not one of them could leave it. The only thing your mouth was capable of saying was “how”, a bewildered inquiry which made him chuckle, a handsome laugh that you felt deep in your stomach. He assured you that it was a long story, offering that he could perhaps tell it to you another time. 
Another time. The promise of seeing him again after today sent a flurry of joy through you. You were unsure of what to say, even after you matured and experienced the world, you still felt so juvenile compared to him. No, that wasn’t it, you didn’t feel as though you were younger than him, it was just that his mere presence turned you back into that shy little girl which snuck glances at him at the dinner table. 
“My parents, they’d love to see you again. Why don’t you join us for dinner?” The invitation brought a smile to his face, a breathtakingly, heart stopping smile which had butterflies fluttering inside you. 
“I’d love to. If it isn’t any trouble.” He answered.
“None at all.” You replied and nodded your head towards the beaten path in front of you. 
The two of you began walking, attempting to speak as old friends should though the flustered feelings which possessed you did not leave, instead it grew, along with a desire that settled deep within you. The desire to touch him, hold him, kiss him. He was right beside you, walking beside you in a meadow like a dream you’d had as a little girl. You wished that you were alone and that you could stay that way for longer than the short journey back to your home. 
The instant you returned, your mother burst through the front door, a bright smile plastered on her face as she embraced the young man. Her jovial greeting allowing you the chance to slip away and compose yourself; checking the mirror, straightening out your hair and dress. When your mother entered the house she was ushering in the smiling man who was trying his best to answer her rapid fire questions and accept her praise. You gave him a small smile, an apologetic look gracing your features. He merely smiled in return, eyes lingering on your face a moment longer than they should. 
Your mother kept him busy until dinner, fluttering around the kitchen while talking about this and that. You sat on a chair next to the door of the kitchen, sneaking glances at him whenever you deemed it safe. Your father joined the three of you just before your meal was finished cooking, asking the same questions that your mother had as he led him to sit at the dining room table. More of your relatives joined them as more time passed; their voices and laughter carrying throughout the house. 
It was only a few moments later that you entered the room, carrying a few bowls into the room and setting them on the table before you sat down. Your mother entered shortly after you with the rest of the food, making everyone's plates before she herself sat. You stayed relatively quiet as your parents made conversation with him, feeling as shy as ever in his presence. It was halfway through dinner that your mother had asked the question. You were honestly surprised that it had taken so long to be brought up, you half expected her to ask it within the same breath as her greeting. 
“So Michael, have you found yourself a nice girl?” She’d asked, her hands folded under her chin, a curious inviting smile on her lips. He’d closed his eyes with a smile of his own, it was the first time you’d ever seen him slightly flustered. 
“No, no, I haven’t. But that does bring me to what I would like to ask,” He paused, taking a sip of his wine and dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “I would like to court your daughter if you; and she, will allow me to.” 
Your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat as you wondered whether your ears had betrayed you. He looked over to you, his eyes searching yours as he smiled at you. Your shocked face changed into a thousand-watt smile as your head whipped between your parents; who seemed just as shocked as you’d been. In an instant the room erupted into joyous cheers. Kisses, handshakes and hugs were exchanged, relatives insisted that “they just knew it would happen” and throughout all the chaos his eyes would meet yours, adoration shining in their darkness.
Many people say that time flies when you’re in love and only now could you understand what they meant. You and Michael began the courting process: taking long walks together, eating dinners with your family, spending entire evenings at each others sides. An hour felt like minutes when you were with him. No amount of time was ever enough.
You’d admitted your childhood crush to him, sitting beside each other, shaded by a tree down a trail by your home. Embarrassment painted your features but the confession brought him more joy than you could ever imagine. The thought of you loving him for so long was akin to a dream. 
He told you how he felt the first time he saw you in return, describing your beauty, your smile, the way you felt in his arms. His words stoked a fire in your soul, a feverish desire took hold of you once more. You were suddenly aware of how close he was to you in that moment and then you were aware of his slow moments closer, the leaning of his head, the heat of his breath. 
He pressed his lips to yours, soft at first before it grew hungry. His hands moving to your face, sliding down the back of your head, thumbs resting on your collar before finding your waist. Your arms encircled his neck, fingers finding his hair as heat coursed through you. The two of you refused to stop until your lungs screamed for air, only then did he part from you, his forehead pressing itself to yours, nose nuzzling your cheek. It was then that he said the magic words, breathed them into the warmth between you as your heart beat frantically. 
“Marry me.” His voice nothing more than a whisper. Tears filled your eyes as you accepted as quickly as you could, allowing him to pull you into another feverish kiss. 
A flurry of arrangements happened around you. Flowers, music, food, dresses, invitations, decorations; it was enough to make your head spin and yet it was the happiest you’d ever been. 
The wedding was beautiful; traditional and everything you could have ever hoped for. The look on his face when he saw you in your dress for the first time was enough to bring a tear to your eye. Never in your life had you seen a man so enamored with someone, let alone you. He spent the entire day calling you beautiful, even apologizing for saying it so much as the two of you danced. You assured him that you didn’t mind, a smile on your face as you leaned in to kiss him. 
The entire event was captured in dozens of photos, photos which you wanted both for yourself and for his family; though undoubtedly they would wish to have their own get-together for the joyous occasion. A second wedding just for them. You both planned on returning to America in a month, you’d spend the rest of your time in Sicily at the home his family had gotten for him. 
It was in that house that the two of you consummated your marriage, your bodies wrapped around each other and your hands caressing whatever they could find. Everything was perfect and you felt as though it always would be just as long as you stayed in his arms. 
True to your plans, after a month of marriage, the two of you packed your things and began your journey to his families home. You exchanged tight hugs and joyful kisses with his family; all of them ecstatic over how things had turned out. His mother repeating what you’d already heard so many times before: “I knew you’d end up together. I always thought you’d make such a beautiful couple. And the babies! Oh the babies!”. 
Like you thought, the family hosted their own huge event in their gorgeous backyard. A whole new set of photographs were taken, a whole new cake cut, and presents collected. You’d never seen any of the Corleone’s so happy. 
By the end of the day you were exhausted yet smiling, tiredly swaying back and forth with Michael to the bands slow music. He pressed soft kisses to the side of your face, nuzzling into you for a moment before pulling away just enough to look into your eyes. 
“Welcome to the family.” He whispered. His lips met yours in a slow kiss, sending your heart into a fit of frantic beats as though it were the first time his lips had touched your own. 
287 notes · View notes
Text
How I would Fix GH
Carly and Jason get married, sleep together, and just as they are about to go for round 2, Sonny walks in. Betrayed and pissed, he declares war on Jarly and decides to keep quiet about Nina keeping him secret.
Sonny retains Mike qualities and continues to bond with Nina in PC especially after Jarly's betrayal. Carly is her usual self, wants Jason but doesn't want Nina to have Sonny either. Jax leaves town. sick of Carly’s shit. 
Anna/Valentin/Robert track down Victor and discover his compound, Liesl, and put together that he's working with Peter. The trio surround Victor and Peter about to put a bullet in them, but Victor admits that he not only has Drew, but Holly and Emily(!)
It was Helena's sick plan to take Emily from Nik because she (other than Laura) pulled him away from his Cassadine urges. Victor discovered her and hid her away. The trio spare Victor but kill Peter once and for all. They bring Drew, Holly, and Emily back to PC
Spencer, fearful of being revealed as the stalker, he and Esme pin everything on Kevin. Laura totally believes that Kevin is innocent. Nava take the bait and blame Kev. Kevlaur vs Nava. Spencer feels guilty but Esme convinces him their plan is working.
Esme visits Ryan and we discover that she's Kevin's daughter with his PC wife Eve, who never told Kevin she was pregnant before leaving him and PC. She is teaming up with Ryan to tear apart Kevin's life piece by piece.
While Esme is messing with Spencer and Kevin, she is attracted to cam. we get a messy Joss/Cam/Esme triangle... with Cam and Joss having a massive argument about Joss defending mob life and he runs into Esme and they sleep together. Esme ends up pregnant. and plays it off as Spencer's.
Spencer is on edge with Esme's plans and ends up confiding in Trina. Trina is torn between helping him but also helping her girl Ava. She comes up with a plan to help Spencer confess but as she does some snooping of her own, discovers Esme's ties to Ryan.
Spencer, with Trina's help, confesses, Nik still kicks him out and he goes to stay with Laura who gets him a job at the hospital where he learns some compassion. Trina exposes that Cam is the baby daddy and Spencer is broken. Sprina kiss for the first time as she comforts him.
Eve Lambert comes to town after Kevin discovers Esme is his. She tries to help her evil daughter and explains why she kept Esme a secret, and leaves town. Kevin tries to fix Esme, putting a strain on his marriage.
As Emily returns, Nava is on rocky waters. What will Nikolas do when the true love of his life returns? Who will he choose? Will Ava resort to her old ways to get rid of Emily?
Sante are 100% together. All is happy and then Drew returns. Sam feels terrible for what he's gone thru and tries to fake a relationship with him, but things don't feel the same. They end things and Drew runs into Britt and sparks fly.
Just as Sante get back on track, we see LuLu wake up. LuLu wakes up thinking it's 2006. no memories of her kids, Dante, her mom waking up. so she stays away from PC for a while and falls for her doctor Tommy Hardy Jr.
Willow, Brando, Sasha, Gladys all die in a mob shoot out. idgaf. Michael leaves town with Wiley in grief. Kristina gets his airtime and becomes Sonny's heir apparent putting her in opposition with Jarly. She finds herself falling for Ms. Wu's daughter.
Finn and Elizabeth never happen. Elizabeth, after Franco's death, basically drinks herself to death in grief. Hayden finally returns from hiding and her, Finn, Laura, and her kids help her get help. Just as liz gets back on her feet, her parents return. Liz is torn between allowing her parents in and trusting them or telling them to F off. She also gets another surprise return.... (and its not Emily)
Monica is thrilled at the return of Drew an Emily. ELQ is returned to Ned. We continue with the autism story. Ned is super open and wants to learn and assist Leo. Olivia is totally blocked off and ignores it.
Brook Lynn tells Chase about Bailey's true parentage. Brook also admits that she doesn't want to give up Bailey when its all over. They keep growing closer, but keeping the secret is killing good boy Chase. 
Vanna/Robert return and Maxie is thrilled that Peter is dead and rushes to the Q's to get Bailey/Lou back. Val is confused and BLQ finally admits the truth. Val is crushed. Curses the Qs and vows to keep ELQ from them. Maxie takes Lou. Chase and BLQ sleep together. Annie Donnelly comes to town and works at the PCPD undercover. Bonds with Chase. BLQ/Chase/Annie triangle.
Val tells Anna about the whole baby switch. She feels for him and takes him out drinking again. Val wants to forget about everything and sleep together but Anna wants it when they are both sober.
NO Maxie and Austin. TBH there would be no Austin. Dillion returns to help in the ELQ vs Val war. Him and Maxie connect as he starts to work for deception as the photographer.
Taggert remains Trina's dad. Period. After Jordan left, Curtis also assists Liz in her addiction struggles and they have a casual relationship, but he starts to catch feels. Lucky happens to return just as Liz gets her life back on track. 
We find out Lucky's stayed away because he has relapsed and is still taking pills. He doesn't want to disappoint his kids/mom/liz so stays quiet but Portia finds him OD in a back alley. As he recovers, they bond and are attracted to one another. HOWEVER, Serena Baldwin returns to town and starts her own law firm with Scott, Martin, and eventually Alexis. Lucky needs a lawyer since he got caught buying narcotics on the street right before he OD. Serena takes his case and she fights her feelings. We get a Serena/Lucky/Portia/Curtis/Liz mess.
Alexis is FREED. Gets her law license back. and gets and AMAZING love interest. (Maybe Shawn). Martin and Lucy get together. Liesl and Scotty remain cute. Molly and TJ get Brando/Sasha/Willow's airtime. Holly and Robert reunite.
IF you read all of this, you are a saint. The show is just so boring, dull, and unbalanced. Useless characters are taking up the place of legacy kids. I’m sure others have way better ideas, but this is just what I think the show could do to improve and be something I rush home to watch again. 
9 notes · View notes
Text
Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You
Tumblr media
A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THE TEXT BELOW BEFORE PROCEEDING THANK YOU :))
HERE IS A TIMELINE /  EXPLANATION / BACKGROUND INFORMATION BECAUSE CASE THE TIME SKIPS OF THIS STORY ARE CONFUSING: I’m sorry for that everyone, I know the dates are sloppy and as a whole this fic doesn’t make too much sense; I tried to edit this piece as best I could to make the story as easy to follow as possible, but seeing as I can’t unpublish part 1 or 2, the cleanup still leaves things bit unclear. These imagines were originally chapters of a longer Levi x Reader fic that I decided to discontinue, which is why there are so many loose ends. Here was my original intention for this story, broken down for the few who choose to read the Author’s Notes lol.
We are going to do this in the order of the 3 part fic (I also put attached all the links to the titles)
Part 1: Imagine Relating to Mikasa About Loving Someone in the Military
The scene is set during the events of SEASON 1 of Attack on Titan, BEFORE the Female Titan Arc. (Y/N) was also hand selected by Levi to be part of the original Special Operation Squad; she bit her hand at the dinner table along with Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo to show their dedication and understanding towards Eren wayyy back in the beginning of the series. The Survey Corps is making preparations for their first attempt to go to Shiganshina since the Fall of Wall Maria and not only uncover the mole who killed captive titans Sonny and Bean, but also to get to Eren’s basement.
Part 2: To Love Another
The flashback and opening scene in the beginning of this writing piece (where (Y/N) and Hange are talking to each other) occurs shortly after (Y/N) wakes up in the infirmary room, before anyone breaks the news that she, aside from an injured Levi, is the last surviving member of Squad Levi after Annie killed the others in the Forest of Giant Trees in her female titan form. Hange’s intentions were to bring the (Y/N) and Levi together so they would be able to support each other during this mutual loss. But alas, (Y/N) accepts his rejection and the two suffer the aftermath of this tragic news alone. To read this arc for context/bonus content to get a better understanding of this mini series, see my posts (as a sort of prequel, if you will) Imagine Levi Finding you Injured on an Expedition and Imagine Being the Last Member of Squad Levi To Survive to fill that time gap :)
In real-time, all of Season 2 and Season 3 Part 1 have gone by with limited interaction between (Y/N) and Levi. This part of the story is occurring during Season 3 PART 2, (spoilers) after the Coup D'etat, and after Historia becomes Queen. (Y/N) is no longer an active soldier, having sustained injuries too severe to be reliable in combat. She remains useful to the Corps as a battle strategist, however, which allows her to stay. The Scouting Regiment is currently preparing to go to Eren’s basement in their second attempt, knowing Reiner and Berthold will be waiting for them there.
Part 3: Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You (YOU ARE HERE)
This part takes place pretty much a week or so after the events of “To Love Another.” It is revealed how much (Y/N) has isolated herself in the months between Parts 1 and 2 from not only Levi, but Hange, the only one besides Mikasa who knew about her feelings for Levi prior to their falling out. (Y/N) confesses her feelings for Levi before the mission to Shiganshina in Season one, and the fic parallels itself and comes full circle once their final interaction occurs before the second and final mission to Shiganshina, for which, (Y/N) is unable to go for her death would be almost certain. She seen to be more valuable inside the walls, where she can carry on the duties of the Survey Corps should the entire regiment collapse during the mission. This is the final part :)
I HOPE THAT CLEARS THINGS UP!
requested by @a-single-uwo @dracq and @little-diva-gurl and a lovely anon who def isn’t the happiest that this took so long. Deepest apologies! Hope this was worth the wait. I also hope this post finds everyone safe and in good health during these crazy times <3
~~~~~
Dread bottled up in the bottom of your stomach, which threatened to fall down to your knees. Even Hange’s eyes brimmed with concern when she informed you that Levi requested your presence in his office; all of which was out of the blue, uncharacteristic, after months of him being accustomed to giving you your space.
Feigning annoyance, you stared at the soldier dummy two paces ahead, dented heavily with the marks of your punches. The sun was beating down on the early autumn day, and heat waves rose from the ground. It illuminated the glistening perspiration sliding down your figure, torso rising and falling in short breaths of exhaustion.
Hange watched you carefully from a distance. She noticed your tense muscles, clad in a sports bra and boxing shorts; the lack of attire made it impossible to hide the sudden tension and stiffness embedded in your lean muscles, a tell tale sign of distress. As a creature of observation and analytics, the Squad Leader could sense your discomfort as if it was written across your forehead.
The brunette watched you wipe the sweat off your forehead and yell in frustration, turning towards her direction and moving to land a kick at her head.
Unfazed and in possession of sharp reflexes, Hange took a step back, only to watch as you twisted mid-air and landed a 360 Crescent kick to the dummy-shaped bag, which broke open on impact under the force of the blow. Sand poured out of its opening and spilled onto the ground in a steady stream that grew less heavy as the seconds passed.
“I’ll have to admit, you are getting better, but (Y/N), don’t get your hopes up,” Hange cautioned. “The problem does not reside in your muscles. No matter how well you learn to fight like you used to, Annie crushed your ribs and threw you to the ground: it's your lungs that will never recover. You can’t come with us to Shiganshina tomorrow like this.”
Hunched over with hands on your knees, you regained a regular breathing pattern and began to feel the explosive pain in your chest. Airways blocked, you began coughing, willing the oxygen to enter your body.
“Let me humor myself, Hange-san. If I don’t try, I might go insane.”
It was almost tragic that such a young soldier was out of commission; you were full of promise, rivalling Mikasa in skill. Hange knew you were itching to do what you trained for your whole life: Coming to Shiganshina and putting it all on the line had always been your number one goal. You didn’t want to be left behind again, to die bitter and alone without the only people you cared about.
“Regardless, (Y/N), you’re stalling,” Hange smoothly shifted the topic of conversation back to what brought her to you in the first place. “He still has that power over you, huh?”
"It'll pass eventually," you sighed, hoping the words were true.
You bowed towards the tall female. She smiled in return, shaking her head softly.
Whilst pacing away, said person stopped you once more.
“(Y/N). For what it’s worth, I stand by what I said before. Don’t look so nervous, okay?”
Her words replayed in your head, a haunting ghost of the not-so-long ago past. Time was strange, that way. It seemed like everything happened yesterday yet in another lifetime, all at once. “He loves you, more than he’s ever loved anyone. Surely you know that.”
Stupid, you thought, how I might have believed it once.
As you made your way down the hall, numbness crept into your body once again. You were too proud to admit you were afraid, especially with the Section Commander’s radiating sympathy, but everyone knew the once friendly dynamic between you and the Captain transformed into one more distant and cold. With each step towards the door, you felt the icy chill grow and that fact alone shook you to the core. 
But it didn’t matter, seeing as Levi was of superior authority. There was no way around it.
Your hand shook as it raised to knock.
~~~~~~
“Name and business,” Levi spoke, voice muffled by the closed door.
“It’s (Y/N), sir. I was hoping to speak with you.”
There was a pause, and in that time you considered the option of fleeing back to your room and retreating back to a life of emotional safety, normality. It wasn’t too late to forget.
It had been a week since you spoke to Mikasa on the rooftop, after realizing the deep shit your heart decided to put you in. You didn’t think Levi would notice the distracted nature of your behavior-- tried to make it as subtle as possible whilst you figured out what you felt for him. 
But before you could explore other options, Levi muttered a stern “enter.” You knew with the first expedition back to Shiganshina tomorrow, and the prospect of death closer than it has ever been on a mission, it was now or never. 
The room was dim, small, warm, and thick with building tension. Shadows danced across the Captain’s face, sharp features lit by an orange flame. Only candlelight, sourced at his desk, assisted your adjusting eyes. 
Your nose was hit with the smell of tea and cleaning products upon entry. This fact made you smile despite your bundling nervous energy. It was a familiar place, filled with memories of late night conversations (granted, of mostly you speaking and him listening), witnessed only by the large piles of paperwork. It started here and resulted in a natural, growing fondness kept secret to all except you two and the moon looking in from the window. 
This man was your squad leader, your commander, your trusted comrade. There was no need to be afraid-- Not unless of course, you held the potential to shatter such damn a delicate relationship.
And you did. 
Was it worth it?
Your gaze gravitated towards the center of the room where the Lance Corporal sat. And in that instant, your smile evaporated instantly. He placed his pen down, gracefully resting his cheek on his fist and lazily tossing the raven locks out of his eyes-- they landed on you, piercing yet drowsy and indifferent upon first glance. He was beautiful, as always. The allure was nearly sickening; unfair to the rest of the world.
Looking closer, however, he was anything but relaxed. The observant eye could see his countenance stirred something different. He seemed sharp and focused, ready to dart out and wrap himself around your heart, squeezing tighter with every breath you took. And you felt it-- the heart palpitations, which got worse at the sight of him.
He seemed… different. Dangerous, like a storm stirring in the distance, and the inevitable downpour that comes with it. The dark circles under his eyes told tales about the insomnia; a fresh cup of caffeinated black tea even rested on his left, steam rising out of it. And whilst attraction was undeniable, your concern always came first.
Levi was never quite good at getting proper rest before a mission.
“(Y/N),” The word was breathy, yet his voice was rough.
You shuffled in your spot, your name on his tongue making your stomach churn with desire.
Levi seemed to pick up on your affliction, getting out of his chair and gliding towards you. Everything happened fast and slow all at once, starting off with a momentaneous rush of air and  the collision of your back with the office wall. A small shriek filled the air, out of place against the silence; was that your voice? The pain should’ve been there, but it wasn’t.
Then the seconds dragged out. Levi was a new person, setting your skin aflame as he gripped your wrists and pinned them against the wall. His lips brushed your eartips, which turned red the instant the raven’s breath fanned over them. This normally reserved, disciplined man unleashed something you had never seen before.
“Finally ready to talk to me about why you’ve been acting so strange, brat?” he whispered.  
This wasn’t supposed to be so dirty. He was angry, but the mood was established in layers: something more sinister existed beneath.
The scent of fresh pine filled your nostrils until your brain went foggy. Levi was close--so close, and with the fact that you’ve been avoiding him mixed in with the fact that you missed him for it, all bets were off: there was no stopping the words that came out of your mouth next.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” you whispered back, looking him dead in the eyes, no fear this time.
His grip on your wrist slackened.
“Hm?”
You took in a deep breath, ready to leave it all on the line, and spoke.
“I like you a lot, sir. And not in a comradery type of way. I-I just thought I’d tell you before, you know, we leave tomorrow.” Your gaze found the floor again, too timid for your own good. But the statement was said, and it was finite; there was no turning away from it.
The Captain’s eyes went wide and gleamed brightly at you. His chest felt lighter and as he looked down at you in speechless awe, staring at anything but his face in your adorable embarrassment, he realized exactly why your absent look irked him those days ago. Why your lack of enthusiasm and lighthearted-ness gave him a strange sense of frustration. 
Levi never felt more awake, more hyper aware of his surroundings. 
The feeling of your chest pressed against him, the heat of those rosy cheeks, the pounding within his ribcage, the moon hitting your pretty face. With your figure in his arms, after the blissful seconds passed, everything felt, for once, okay.
Until it wasn’t.
Gaining the courage to look back up at him, you all but tore apart at the scowl on his face as demons flitted through his beautiful brain and polluted the image of happiness. Levi grew more indignant by the second, all but throwing your arms he held back at your sides like they were poison to the touch. 
Tears pooled in your eyes as the soft expression you didn’t get to see turned sour, disgusted-- the Captain’s lips curling into a snarl as he imagined what he could lose if he opened up his heart for this girl in front of him to take. The risk and pain of falling for someone, in the world the two of you lived in. And all the stoic man could think was how he allowed this charade to come so far.
No, he wouldn't allow it.
“Get out, (L/N)” he commanded, harsh and unforgiving.
You were trembling, body feeling detached from reality as it moved, convincing itself that it was simply a nightmare. Levi’s cruel demeanor all but shattered you as you looked wide-eyed and his anger grew, the short man pacing behind his desk and bringing a hand over his face. His free one crumpled into a fist, knuckles turning white as he slammed it on the wood, the loud bang making you jump; the fear, grief, confusion coming all at once until it choked you and your vision spotted black.
“I said GET OUT!”
The room stilled and Levi looked up to face you cowering near the door, a single tear rolling down your cheek. He stilled at the sight, the weight of his words dawning upon him.  
“I-I’m sorry,” you gasped before racing out of the room.
Had you looked back, you would’ve seen Levi’s outstretched hand betraying his body, desperately reaching out for you, gray eyes filled with pain.
But you knew now you’d never be dumb enough to spare him that second glance-- and maybe that was the right call, seeing as his feet moved in the direction you left, only to shut the door left askew in your wake.  
~~~
The Captain’s gaze was on you more than necessary, but it was clear the two of you had the same thought: You focused everything into this discussion, melting into the emotionally-detached soldier your duty commanded, just like Levi did. His words had no ulterior motive, no deeper meaning. They were monotonous and empty.
Or so you thought.
Levi stood up the second you came in, but your gaze fell to the ground in submission.
“Hange said you needed to see me, Captain?” your voice was small and weak; you kicked yourself for it. How pathetic.
“Damn you...”
The man said nothing more, brushing his fingers along your cheekbones and you everything hit you like whiplash, the memories. Levi ran them along your face, down to your chin to lift it gently, so that for once you’d let your eyes meet instead of looking at the ground like a coward.
When they did the man’s breath hitched in his throat, because although your (eye color) orbs were no longer as vibrant, they were still beautiful and entrancing; why hadn’t he ever appreciated them before? 
"I missed you, brat," he spoke firmly.
You felt a churn in your abdomen as you watched his eyes study the details of your face and take in every feature, committing it to memory painfully slow. You were paralyzed, his face inches away from yours and forcing buried emotions to resurface as months of restraint came undone. He didn’t speak, holding you delicately after not being this close for far too long and discerning what he’s been missing.  
“Um, Captain? What are you...?"
You bit your lip, feeling puzzled and confused as you remembered the hate in Levi's orbs the last time you saw him like this.
All you could see now was how quickly his emotions shifted from serenity to fury that fateful night, and as you recollected the way Levi lashed out, all chaos and fury, he retracted his hand.
And you flinched away.
The Captain froze.
“Don’t-- don’t fucking do that,” he growled, his urgency startling. “I would never hurt you, (Y/N).”
Your eyebrows furrowed, all inhibition thrown out the window the second Levi’s countenance flashed with hurt at your response to his touch. You let your fear go and emotions free at the irony of the raven’s statement. Your mind went into overdrive, recounting every instance you wanted to give up and leave, drown in yourself, give up on finding purpose in the aftermath of rejection and Squad Levi’s death and your permanent injury changing your way of life. Things you faced alone, because instead of rekindling any semblance of a relationship, Levi tossed everything away and berated you for feeling.
The man who resided here cut your heart expertisely like the countless swords he wielded then disposed. He did not have the right to look at you so kindly; did not have to right to fan the flames of false hope. But here he was, procrastinating until the very last day to take initiative regarding those actions.
“Why are you doing this?” you whispered, forgetting your composure.
“I’d advise you not to speak in riddles,” Levi spoke in a low and even voice, no real malice as he addressed you and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
You took a deep breath and fought to remain calm, grabbing Levi's wrist to keep him from touching you.
“Please don’t toy with me, or mock my feelings like this. Why did you call me here? You made it plenty clear how you feel about me, Levi. What else is there to say?" you begged, the lack of closure driving you insane.
This was the first time you used his name, an unprecedented amount of spite and pain expressed through it, because you wanted Levi to remember this moment. It was over: that time of feeling sorry and ashamed of yourself for being nothing other than human. The remorse was gone, and the heartache was fleeting.
“Tell me, dammit!”
His was overflowing.
“You want to know how I really feel about you, (Y/N)!?” the Captain shouted, voice rising because for a man who relied on impulse and action on the battlefield it was fucking frustrating, watching the woman in front of him live this way for the simple reason that he was not good with words. "The thoughts that go through my head when you can't even bear to look at me?!"
"No, that's not what I asked. I already know that you don't--"
"--Fuck this."
Relying on instinct to guide him, Levi leaned forward and kissed you.
The second his lips met yours, you melted on the spot, knees giving out beneath you. Tongue sliding into your mouth, Levi simultaneously lifted you into the air, feeling lightheaded as you moaned into him, eagerly returning the kiss. His hands were everywhere, grasping at your waist, clutching the back of your head, running down your thighs. You were in such a state of euphoria that nothing else existed.
Your own digits threaded through Levi’s raven locks and pulled needily, emitting a growl from his throat as he bit down on your lower lip. He reveled in the feeling of your legs around his waist as your soft lips worked against his own, hungry and relentless. The kiss was passionate and you’d imagined it a million times over, but this-- Levi successfully ruined you for any other man.
The need for oxygen pulled you apart, Levi’s strong arms keeping you in the air as his eyes remained shut; he pecked your lips once, then twice, savoring the moment until it mournfully passed.
He was hesitant to break the silence, but you deserved it. You waited long enough to hear the truth, and he knew his time was running out; you weren’t going to wait for him forever.
“(Y/N)...” he began to speak, forehead resting on yours as he panted softly to catch his breath. “I dreamt of you last night. I have been for days.”
“Levi--”
“--Just listen,” he interrupted, unable to stop himself from kissing you softly once more. “Neither of us are running away this time.”
You fell silent as the man let you down, pulling you into his solid chest as you buried your face in his shirt, patiently listening. His calm heartbeat thrummed soothingly in your ears like a metronome.
“Isabel, Farlan, Oluo, Petra, Gunther, Eld. They all knew that what they meant to me. And I them."
One of the only things that made it easier to say goodbye, you thought with a bittersweet pang in your chest.
"With us, it's different. I died in every dream, (Y/N). Every one. And in every single one, you lived on believing I never loved you. Call me selfish, but I...”
You pulled away from the stoic man, searching his gaze as he trailed off. Shyly, you interlaced your fingers, his larger hand enveloping yours and you prayed to whoever was listening upstairs that all of this was real.
“I just can't leave until you understand...”
He clutched you impossibly tighter, eyes squeezing shut.
"...that you, are everything."
~~~ Extended Ending ~~~
A soft hum filled the air, the tune dreamy and sweet as you repeated the melody once again. You smiled warmly as hands wound around your waist, pulling you closer to a toned and shirtless Captain Levi, silken sheets tossed haphazardly on top of the two of you. His breath sent goosebumps on your neck as he kissed your shoulder gently, warmth deliciously intoxicating. 
Giggling now, you turned around to face him, the man’s onyx hair ticking you softly. You captured your lips in his with one smooth movement and snuggled closer, taking in the small slice of heaven that was home in his arms, legs tangled together. Feeling unbelievably content, like your heart might burst, you leaned forward and rubbed your nose against Levi's. 
Although he wasn't smiling, the look he was giving you revealed his own sensation of happiness.
“I never thought you’d be the cuddling type,” you remarked devilishly, scrunching up your nose as you teased him. 
Though your tone was lighthearted, you were painfully aware that the moment was ending. You internally cursed the sun as it started to set, orange light peeking in through the window shades to signal the coming of night. Levi said nothing, looking deeply into your eyes, and like always, it felt as if he could read the contents of your soul. 
But it wasn’t vulnerability you felt: on the contrary, you knew you would never find as safe a place as here. With him. Finally.  
“Levi...” you swallowed, humor all but gone. “Now you have to come home.” 
To emphasize your point you sat up on the bed, legs tucked neatly underneath you as you stared imperatively at your lover. 
“Mhm. We’ve wasted enough time,” he agreed, taking you by the wrist to pull you back on top of him, to bask in this personal paradise if only for another minute. 
803 notes · View notes
kim-ruzek · 3 years
Text
They fuck you up, your mum and dad
Summary: Introspective fic. Jesse asks a question about her father and it sets off all of Amanda's worries and fears.
Warnings: mentions of addiction, gambling addiction.
Word Count: 3k
Read on AO3
Notes: So. I've been rewatching season 15 and I'm in my Amanda feels. This came into my mind last night and would not leave until I wrote so hence my first ever svu fic was born. Although, full disclaimer, I do have the personal headcanon that Nick is Jesse's father, but this is canon compliant in that Murphy is.
The title and poem is from This be the verse by Richard Larkin! (Thank you @fighterkimburgess for the suggestion).
I hope you enjoy!
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra just for you.
Amanda always knew that this day would come.
She knew it from the very moment she saw that positive pink line on that drugstore pregnancy test. She knew it when she decided that she was having her baby, that she was keeping her. She knew it when she bumped into Declan Murphy, and the reality that her baby’s father was a career UC was brought once more to the forefront of her mind.
Jesse was a perfect, beautiful baby.
Amanda had such trouble with love, never falling for the right people, never really experiencing real love. But from the very first time she laid eyes on Jesse she loved her, loved her with such a fierceness and strength that she had never felt before. Jesse was the first person who Amanda ever loved, the first love that wasn’t tainted by the darkness of the person’s soul.
Jesse was bright-eyed, beautiful, and angelic. Her soul was the most purest, untouched from any evils. And she was hers, completely and utterly hers.
Of course, that’s not true. There’s no way, biologically and scientifically, that could ever be true. A woman can’t just spontaneously get pregnant—even in the Bible, Mary was blessed by God himself, if she was so inclined to believe.
Jesse is half Amanda’s, half Declan’s. Amanda will never admit—not even to Sonny late at night—just how happy it made her that Jesse took after her in looks, that Amanda’s genes came out the strongest. It’s a petty kind of pride, she thinks, but as selfish as it is, Jesse is hers and she’s always going to happy that’s reflected in her looks.
Not that Amanda would ever love her less if she didn’t. She doesn’t think she physically could—another thing that makes her proud. One of her main wants when she became a parent was that she’d never be like her own mother, that her love would never be conditional, that if she ever had more than one child that she’d never favour the one over the other. And with the fierce certainty that erupts in her at the thought of not loving Jesse, the certainty that isn’t possible, reassures her that she’s at least keeping to that goal.
Still, there are times when Jesse pulls an expression that so strongly reminds Amanda of her old lieutenant, of Jesse’s father, that it brings up the thought, the reminder, that one day this conversation would be had, that Jesse would ask about her father.
Jesse knows who he is, knows the basics. She’s met him, only a handful of times, but she has met him. Liked him, even. They’ll never be like the typical father and daughter, but their moments together has always been positive.
Jesse understands this, knows that Declan is never really going to be around. It’ll make Amanda sadder, if it affected Jesse in any way. But truth be told, Jesse is never that much bothered by it. Not even in a way that’s just her being too grown up, but in a genuine way. A way that it doesn’t mar Jesse’s bright spirit, doesn’t bring any darkness or mess her up in any kind of way absentee parents can do.
Amanda has done good, something that some days she can’t quite get her head around. She’s given Jesse a big, loving, albeit unconventional, family that never leaves her lacking for anything.
She’s got Amanda, a mother who’d quite literally die for her. She’s got Frannie, who’s very much protective over the young Rollins’. And she’s got Billie, a sister, a playmate. Someone who Amanda hopes will grow to be a friend as well as a sister, that the two will be each other’s confidantes. That, especially in the teen years when rebellion is rife, that her daughters will have each other’s backs, even if that means helping to the other to keep secrets from her.
And she’s got so much more. Aunt Liv and Uncle Fin. Her cousin Noah. Even Uncles John and Don, and those rare occasions Nick is in town. And recently, her new uncle, Uncle Elliot. And finally, she has her Uncle Sonny. Sonny, probably the next important person in Jesse’s life aside from her. And through Sonny, even more since they had begun dating, Jesse has grandparents, aunts and uncles and even more cousins.
Jesse is so surrounded by love and people who will protect her with their dying breath. And so, even though Declan is barely present, she’s growing so self assured, with no holes or gaps in her life. This is something Amanda will always be grateful for, that she can’t give Jesse a traditional family but that it doesn’t matter, because the one she’s got leaves her whole.
Amanda had hoped this meant she’d have more time before Jesse came asking about her father.
It’s partly for selfish reasons. Because Amanda has this strong connection with her daughter—both, really—that she’s a single mother, that her daughters are hers and hers alone.
Although as Jesse grows, the less Amanda can think that. She always will of course, because it’ll never change, but it also has. It’s shifted; no longer is Jesse this small, squishy thing who needs Amanda and Amanda alone. She’s a precocious six year old, with her own personality and traits.
Jesse is, biologically, half Amanda and half Declan but she’s fast teaching Amanda just how little genes are important. Because Jesse is made up with little pieces of everyone in her life. She’s taken to using phrases and sayings that Fin uses, she keeps wanting a blazer like aunty Liv’s, and she’s got a Staten Island twang picked up from Sonny.
Amanda loves seeing this, loves seeing her family reflected in her daughter. But it also makes her panic, to cling onto her little girl and never let her go. Because she’s hers.
But this isn’t only why she almost dreaded this day. It’s still her being selfish, but Amanda thinks that everything she feels for her children could be seen as selfish, because nothing else in the world matters more than her two angels.
Declan may, biologically, be Jesse’s father, but Amanda knows who she sees as her dad, in her heart. That Sonny is her father, really. He was the first other person to ever hold Jesse, the second person she first called too, the man she loves and always wants to be with them.
He plays the games he knows she likes, helps her with her homework, takes her to her grandparents and stays with her when Amanda’s busy at work. That he had been doing this long before they were even a couple, that Jesse cuddles had been fixing his bad days ever since she was born.
In Amanda’s heart, Sonny is always going to be Jesse’s dad.
And she so desperately wants it to be true, to have biology support the truth she knows in her heart. She doesn’t put much stock in biology these days anyway, but it would make things oh so more easier. Because Amanda will always think Sonny as her daughter��s dad, but as it’s so, so apparent—Jesse is her own person.
Jesse has her own thoughts and opinions and feelings. And Declan is, biologically, Jesse’s dad. And Amanda knows that what her heart feels, thinks, knows...it means nothing compared to what Jesse’s heart does, what Jesse decides is fact or fiction.
And so Amanda has feared this day, almost. The day Jesse shows an interest in knowing more about Declan.
Fears it because it brings up Amanda’s very real worry that Jesse will reject Sonny, her worry that they’re all just playing at house and if they begin addressing how Jesse has someone else’s blood running through her veins everything will crumple before she can stop it.
And fears because, well, because Amanda’s never really been admired or respected by anyone—especially when it comes to her own blood. But that’s the thing about children, they look at you like you’re their superhero, that you’re invincible. And Amanda knows her daughters will one day see the world less black and white, and she’s prepared for this. Excited, even, because she catches herself often marvelling at the thought of how her relationship with her daughters will be when they’re adults.
But how can she explain how Jesse came to be? How she made a stupid decision and slept with Declan? That she didn’t even realise she was pregnant before Yates, a serial killer, pointed it out. Jesse knows the basics, and Amanda knows that her daughter isn’t asking for these more adult descriptions, but it ignites her ultimate worry in her. That one day her daughter will understand how she came to be, and that she’d think less of her.
Jesse is her first love of her life and the thought of her thinking lowly of her, of judging her, is one that’s too much to bare. One that has brought her to tears in the middle of night just thinking about it, just the idea of her daughter thinking of her in a negative light.
And it’s not because Jesse was conceived after a one night stand, not really. Amanda does worry about that, too, of course—same with Billie. Especially with the girls realising that Amanda made the same mistake twice, and not even with the same man.
But because the story of her and Declan is not a pleasant one. It’s messy, chaotic, unromantic.
How will she ever explain to her daughter that she was only conceived, if you trace it back to the beginning, because she is an addict, because she wasn’t strong enough to stay on the wagon, that she gambled illegally and that she risked everything.
That she only met Jesse’s father because she was outed as a cop, because she was stupid enough to put herself in a situation where being a cop can get you killed.
In general, in a weird way, Amanda feels grateful for her having that lapse. The whole thing with Nate and Lena had hit her like a truck, had stolen her breath and made everything spiral, and made her loose control. Even a year later, it hurt. The betrayal had cut deep and it robbed her of her gambling sobriety.
But then she had Jesse. But then she had stared into Jesse’s eyes for the very first time, and so much of that hurt was instantly evaporated. Because if that didn’t happen, if she didn’t fall if the wagon then, she never would’ve met Declan—she never would’ve had Jesse.
Of course, there’s a chance she still would meet him, because after all he was in charge of svu twice. But Amanda knows, knows, that had she not met him then that she’d never have slept with him, and so she never would’ve had Jesse.
It’s quite remarkable how the act of having Jesse wiped away her remaining embarrassment over it, that she finally accepted that it was just something that had happened.
But there’s always two sides of a coin. And having an addict for a mother, having it be so that your mom only met your dad because she was an addict... How could she ever expect Jesse to know that and not think less of her?
And how does she expand on how she met Declan to a curious six year old? Not quite old enough to deal with bigger information pieces, but not too young to be satisfied with an non answer.
Amanda tries to reassure herself, that at least Declan was a good man. That her conversation with Jesse is infinitely more easier than the one Liv has to have with Noah. But there’s a part of her mind that rebuffs that. That says that Noah is adopted, that Liv is his saviour, whereas she was the one who made the choices that brought Jesse and Billie into the world.
It’s not a fair rebuff. Adoption is always a tough subject, and then there’s the fact that Noah’s biological father was a rapist. That’s never going to be an easy thing to address. Although, if anyone knows how to do it—or rather, how not to do it—it’s going to be Liv.
This reassurance does nothing for her, and she once more wishes so, so strongly that Sonny was her daughters’ father. It’s so easy to just operate on that. Sonny had always been here. He had even been called dada briefly by Jesse when she was a baby.
Even Declan had noted it, on Jesse’s third birthday. He had stopped by, had interacted with Jesse. There was a moment when he was helping Amanda get the cake that he had directed her attention to where Sonny sat playing with Jesse.
“He’s good with her.” Declan had observed. Then he had said something that had taken her by surprise but will forever have a residence in her mind.
“You know, if you ever need me to sign any papers, just say the word. I’ll never be a traditional dad to her, but if you have someone... I’ll sign.” He had said. Amanda had gaped at him, unsure of what to say, but in typical Declan fashion he just moved on easily.
In all this, Amanda has one reassurance, that it’ll be easier with Billie. Billie, like her sister, had called Sonny dada before she could speak much but unlike Jesse, she hadn’t stopped. Most of Billie’s life, her memories, had Amanda and Sonny being an actual couple.
It’s not like Amanda thinks Jesse rejects the idea of seeing Sonny as her father. In fact, she’s fairly certain she does. Father day cards are always addressed to him and since they got together, Jesse’s rather gotten in the habit of just calling him Sonny, not Uncle Sonny. Amanda knows her daughter, and she knows that the dropping of uncle is because Sonny’s no longer an uncle, or at least no longer just that.
But Amanda’s fears go well beyond that. It goes to her fears of how her daughter will see her, if her daughter will think herself as a mistake, as a regret. Her wish for Sonny to be her dad just is so strong not because Amanda wishes for just an easy life, but because there’s so much that could cause Jesse strife in the story of her parents, and Amanda never wants her daughter to feel anything bad.
Jesse is so perfect, so innocent and whole. Her world is small, but filled with so much love. Amanda sees such darkness on a daily basis, and has been through such darkness, but Jesse knows only light. And Amanda knows that Jesse will one day fight her own demons; that Jesse will have her heart broken, that the world will be unfair to her someday.
That thought aches, aches, Amanda’s heart, the desire to protect her daughter from anything bad surging. But it’ll happen, and Amanda can only take comfort in that she’ll help Jesse through it, and that Jesse has so many other people to help her through it.
It’s a source of pride for Amanda that Jesse is having a stable childhood. Amanda herself had such a rocky one, had learnt that home isn’t always as warm and welcoming as it should be. It left a deep scar on her, learning that how and when she did. Sobriety is all about taking responsibility for your own actions, and Amanda doesn’t excuse her mistakes, but she understands that all the chaos she put herself through stemmed from that.
Every day at work Amanda sees just how emotional scars can have an affect on one’s self, and she personally knows that. And that’s why she has feared this day. Because Jesse’s world is whole and balanced, because Jesse doesn’t have a part of her that feels empty, lacking. Because Amanda so hopes that it’ll never change, but that she can’t know that.
Jesse came to be because of something so messy and chaotic. She wasn’t made through love, she wasn’t a purposeful action. Her arrival quite literally changed Amanda’s whole world, for the better, but there’s always the fear that Jesse will see it differently.
There’s so much Jesse can take from Amanda’s life, all with the potential to mar her beautiful life, all with the potential to leave her with scars, with the potential to steal chunks of her soul. And that is what leaves Amanda with a cold fear, because the thought of her daughter loosing a piece of herself, for being fucked up by her parents like Amanda was is something she’s so afraid off. And she’s scared that it’ll be because Jesse will become disillusioned about Amanda, that she’d see her mother only as the bad, disaster of a person she was before, and that’s what will fuck her up the most.
Amanda barely had any time to think about this, however, because she has a rather impatient six year old looking at her and waiting for an answer.
“How did you and Declan meet?” Jesse had asked. She’s never called Declan dad, never knowing him long enough, and Amanda will always feel a little happiness that she’s the only parent in Jesse’s life who’s called Mama, who’s given a title—and gratefulness, of course, that Declan doesn’t mind not being called dad in his infrequent visits.
Amanda looks at her beautiful, perfect daughter and she takes a deep breath.
“He saved me,” She answers simply. Because that’s what he did. Because Amanda got so lucky that he was undercover, that he was a kind cop, that he choose to have her back, that he was so ready to defend her to IAB, to even Liv. There’s so many parts of their story that Amanda can’t quite tell her daughter yet, but she can tell her that her dad is kind, and that’s the important thing.
Someday, she’ll have to tell the full story, and that’s when she’ll have to face all her fears. But for now, she’ll just say this and hope that this is one gene of Declan’s that comes through Jesse; that her daughter will be as kind and understanding as her father, that she’ll believe in Amanda the same way Declan did all those years ago when he saved her life. And that it’ll be enough to save Jesse herself, save her from history repeating itself.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra just for you.
9 notes · View notes
madpanda75 · 4 years
Text
“Santa Surprise” Part of the Hostage Series
A little holiday story featuring my Barba family for @thefanficfaerie​‘s Christmas OTP challenge. There’s domestic fluffiness mixed with a hint of smut. ❤️
Prompt 16: Santa
Slightly NSFW (Santa kink, anyone??)
Tumblr media
Rafael finished wiping down the counters after dinner when something odd struck him. It was quiet—too quiet. You offered to host the SVU holiday party and were currently out shopping with Liv, leaving Rafael alone with a five year old and two toddlers. Creeping into the living room where his children were, he expected total chaos, but instead was greeted with a picture perfect moment.
There was Mila sitting in front of the fireplace flanked by her two siblings while she showed them her pop-up book of The Night Before Christmas. “On Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and then he leaves you presents under the tree,” she explained, pointing to the fat, jolly man dressed in red. “But if you’re bad, then you get coal.”
“No one is going to get coal this year,” Rafael said. “Santa just texted me and he said you all have been very good.”
Mila gasped and looked up at her father in awe. “Papi, you know Santa!”
“Of course I do,” he replied and picked up Rory and Ben, kissing them both on the cheek. “Ok, my little reindeer. Bath and bedtime."
Ben giggled and pointed to Rafael. “Santa!”
Rafael shook his head. “No, I’m not Santa. I’m Papi.”
“No, you Santa,” Ben replied.
“Santa!” Rory chimed in, grabbing at her father’s beard.
Rafael let out an exasperated sigh. Ever since he had decided to grow a beard that winter, the twins had taken to calling him Santa. It was beginning to get old. He walked up the stairs, balancing the twins in his arms with Mila following close behind.
“Papi, is Santa going to be at the Christmas party?” Mila asked while Rafael was wrangling Rory and Ben into the bathtub.
“Maybe, but remember muñequita, Santa is very busy this time of year. He may not be able to make it,” Rafael replied. Just then Rory escaped from the bathtub and ran down the hall, screaming and leaving a soapy trail.
“Oh God, we have a runaway. Rory, come back!” Rafael got up and chased after the naked toddler.
Mila grabbed the rubber ducky from the sink and handed it to her little brother. “Looks like someone is getting coal in their stocking,” she said in a sing-song voice, making Ben laugh.
*****
Rafael was utterly exhausted by the time you came home. After getting Rory back in the tub, Ben decided to make a run for it, escaping down the hallway. Once the twins were finally bathed and put to bed, Rafael then had to negotiate bedtime with Mila. He sang. He danced. He read stories. He was beginning to feel like a one man show on Broadway.
Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, Rafael tilted his head from side to side, noticing the grey that streaked his hair and beard before looking down at his soft belly. No wonder the twins kept calling him Santa.
With a sigh, he shut off the bathroom lights and walked into the bedroom where you were waiting. Taking one look at your poor husband, you held out your arms to him. Rafael collapsed onto the bed and into your warm embrace.
“Rough night?” You asked.
“Mmhmm.” He nodded, his head practically buried in your chest.
You softly laughed, having experienced bedtime with Mila and the twins when Rafael was working late. “Thanks for watching them. I really appreciate it. There was no way I could’ve gone shopping with those three running around the store.”
“Anytime,” Rafael replied, his voice muffled against your skin.
You ran your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. A groan escaped Rafael’s lips as his body began to relax. He nuzzled against your chest making you giggle and squirm. “Your beard tickles.”
Rafael raised his head and saw the red mark he had made on your sensitive skin. “Sorry,” he sheepishly said.
“Don’t be. I love it,” you purred.
“You do?”
You smirked and stroked his scuff. “You look so sexy with a beard. It drives me crazy.”
Rafael wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Good to know,” he whispered and pushed up your flimsy silk nightgown, exposing more of your bare flesh. He lay open-mouth kisses on your stomach, dragging his tongue across your skin while spreading your thighs with his large hands.
You bit back a moan and tried to focus, knowing that if he kept this up you would forget all about what you had planned to ask him all evening. “So Liv and I were talking,” you abruptly said.
“Uh-oh, never a good sign,” Rafael murmured against you.
“And we were thinking what if you dressed up as Santa for the holiday party?”
Rafael stopped and met your gaze. “Santa? Really? I don’t know,” he groaned. “The squad would never let me live it down. I already dress up for Halloween, now I gotta be Santa too?”
“Everyone would love it! Besides don’t pretend you don’t love dressing up for Halloween every year.” You sat up and playfully narrowed your eyes. “I see how excited you get when we pick our family costumes.”
You had him there. Over the years, Rafael had grown to love Halloween. Being married to you, it was hard not to be. This past Halloween you were characters from Alice in Wonderland. You dressed up as the Red Queen. Rafael was the White Rabbit. Mila was Alice, and Rory and Ben were Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. It was becoming a sweet family tradition.
“Fine, I’ll think about it,” he said and gently pushed you back down onto the bed before going back to his previous task of leaving a trail of kisses down your body.
“Liv and I found a really nice Santa suit,” you said.
“Mmmhmm,” Rafael mumbled while nibbling on your inner thigh. You gasped and arched your hips towards him.
Rafael was playing dirty, trying to distract you from your mission. But your husband underestimated you. You were determined to get him to play Santa. “The guy at the store is keeping it on hold for us. I have to let him know tomorrow if we’re going to take it,” you continued. “We thought you could dress up and pass out treats to the kids.”
Rafael huffed out a breath. “Mi amor, can we talk about this later. I’m a little preoccupied at the moment,” he said, gesturing to your open legs.
“I just think it would add such a great touch to our party and the kids are so excited for Santa this year. Mila even made him an invitation.” You scrambled out from under Rafael and grabbed Mila’s invitation from the top of the dresser, handing it over to him.
The invitation was a picture Mila had drawn of herself and the twins with Santa. The little five year old even signed her name along with a few scribbles in red and green crayon which he suspected were Rory and Ben’s signatures. The drawing tugged at his heart strings. He felt like the Grinch whose heart grew three sizes. If he could be a Lewis Carroll character for his family, he could certainly be good ol’ Saint Nick.
“You promise it’s not some cheesy polyester suit?” Rafael asked.
“Actually I think it’s a cotton-poly blend. A light breathable fabric.”
Rafael gave you a warning look. “Y/N.”
“I’m just kidding. It’s a nice suit. Way better than any Santa costume you’d find at the mall.”
“Alright,” he conceded and set Mila’s invitation on the nightstand. “I’ll be Santa.”
You squealed with excitement and wrapped your arms around Rafael. “You are the most incredible husband and father. Have I ever told you that?”
“You have, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again,” he teased and planted a searing hot kiss to your lips. “Now that we got all that sorted,” he purred, kissing down the gentle slope of your neck. “May I please—” His mouth moved lower, kissing the swells of your breasts. “Continue what I was doing earlier.” He pulled your nightgown off and kissed a path from your right hip to your left hip.
You softly moaned, your eyes slipping close. “Whatever you say, Santa,” you breathed with a hint of a smile on your lips.
Rafael’s eyes darkened. In an instant, he had you flipped onto your back. “Oh you’re asking for it now, cariño.”
*****
It was the night of the party. Rafael and Sonny stood outside on the front stoop. When you stopped by the store to pick up the Santa outfit, you spied a beautiful lime green and red elf costume. It even came with pointy shoes. You rented the outfit and miraculously had managed to talk Sonny into being an elf. “I still don’t see why you get to be Santa,” he grumbled. “Whoever heard of a 6 foot elf.”
Rafael rolled his eyes. He was beginning to sweat within the red jumpsuit. His face itched and he silently cursed himself for not shaving before placing the fake white beard on top of his real beard. “For the last time, it’s my house and Y/N asked me to be Santa.”
“I’m just sayin’ I’m always Santa at the Carisi house.”
Rafael gave Sonny a dead-pan stare before knocking on the door.
“I got it,” he heard Fin say. Fin opened the door to see Rafael and Sonny dressed in their Christmas regalia and took out his phone to snap a picture. “I got my Christmas gift right here,” he laughed.
Rafael and Sonny walked past a still laughing Fin and into the house. “Hey everyone! Look who’s here,” you announced when you saw your husband and partner.
“Santa!” All the kids exclaimed and ran towards Rafael and Sonny. Rafael smiled and said hello to everyone in his best booming Santa voice. He had to admit seeing the children’s faces light up with joy made it worth dressing up in a ridiculous costume.
“Ok, kids. Santa is going to sit by the Christmas tree. You can each go see him and get a treat from his elf.” You looked back and winked at Rafael and Sonny.
Rafael sat down in a big armchair while the kids lined up. Fin’s grandson, Jaden, was first. He wanted Transformers.
When Noah asked for a puppy. Rafael glanced up to see Liv vehemently shaking her head at her son’s request. “Uhhh….you may need to ask the Easter Bunny for that one,” he told the little boy.
As soon as Amanda place Billie and Jesse on Rafael’s lap, they screamed and cried. Amanda laughed and took a few pictures. “They’ll love these pics when they’re older,” she teased.
It was Mila’s turn after that. With a shy smile, she hopped up on Rafael, then the inquisition started. The little girl was relentless, asking question after question.
“Santa, did you bring Rudolph with you tonight?” She sweetly asked.
Just as Rafael was about to answer Sonny interjected. “He’s back at the North Pole,” he said with a mouthful of cookies. “Santa only takes Rudolph with him when the weather is bad.”
“Oh, ok. What about the fireplace? What do kids do when they don’t have fireplaces. Do you still give them gifts?” Mila looked up at Rafael with big green innocent eyes.
“Well….I…you know fireplaces…” Rafael’s voice trailed off, trying to come up with a plausible answer.
“I know what Santa does. He uses Christmas magic,” Sonny answered before chugging a glass of milk.
“Actually my elves also freelance as chimney contractors,” Rafael replied, not wanting Sonny to outshine him. After all, he was Santa.
Sonny snorted a laugh. “Really, Santa? Chimney contractors.”
Rafael glared at Sonny and flicked a bell dangling from his hat. “Why don’t you go and pass out the candy to the kids.”
“Tough gig,” Sonny mumbled and went to pass out treats.
You watched Mila’s interaction with Rafael and had to bite your lip to keep from laughing. She was definitely her father’s daughter. “Baby, why don’t you tell Santa what you want for Christmas,” you said, deciding to save your husband from Mila’s line of questioning.
When Mila was finished, you brought over the twins. Rory and Ben held hands and warily eyed the man in red. “This must be Rory and Ben.” Rafael picked up the twins and set them on his lap. “What would you two like for Christmas?”
Rory smiled and pointed at him. “Papi!”
“No, Rory. I’m Santa,” Rafael said with a nervous laugh. “Unbelievable,” he thought to himself. The first time in weeks the twins call him Papi and its when he’s in a Santa costume.
Ben shook his head and giggled. “No, you Papi!” The tiny toddler yanked off Rafael’s fake white beard in front of everyone.
There was a collective gasp in the living room. You and Rafael locked eyes. His panic-stricken expression matched your own. “Papi? You’re Santa?!” Mila exclaimed.
All the children began to cry, asking their parents if Santa was real. It was amazing how in the blink of an eye, your party turned into a total disaster.
“Remind me again why we decided to do this?” Rafael shouted to you above the pandemonium.
It took a while, but the adults were finally able to calm everyone down and tell the children that there was indeed a real Santa. With some quick thinking on your part, you explained that Santa and Rafael were friends and Santa sometimes asked Rafael to help out when he couldn’t attend parties due to prior engagements. Rafael agreed, saying it was a little job he had on the side during the holidays.
The older children were a little skeptical of your story, but after bribing them with a few more chocolates and some additional questions from Mila, they seemed to be appeased and the party went off without a hitch.
*****
Later on that evening, you checked on Mila and the twins. They had passed out as soon as the party was over. You walked back to your bedroom, expecting Rafael to be fast asleep only to find him sitting in a chair in your bedroom with a mischievous grin on his face. He was shirtless, wearing only the red pants and suspenders along with the Santa hat, having forgone the fake white beard and red jacket.
A tingle shot straight to your core. You never had a Santa kink...until now. “Santa, what are you still doing in here?”
“Well, I was about to leave, but then I realized I never asked you what you wanted for Christmas,” Rafael said.
“Give me one second.” You held up your finger and ran to your dresser.
Rafael spied a flash of red when you pulled something out of your drawer before you made a beeline to the bathroom. He twiddled his thumbs and whistled a Christmas song while patiently waiting for you.
Just then he heard a crash coming from the bathroom. “Ow, fuck!” You muttered.
“Everything ok in there?”
“Yep,” you called out, slightly out of breath. “Be right out.” A minute later, you opened the door dressed in a sheer red lace baby doll teddy lined with white faux fur and a matching red lace thong.
Rafael audibly gulped, drinking you in from head to toe, all the blood in his body pooling in his groin.
“Well, what do you think.” You blushed and slowly twirled to show off the lingerie before sauntering over to Rafael.
“I love it, he softly groaned and ran his large hands up your thighs and around to your backside, giving your ass a firm squeeze. “Wait, you didn’t get this while out shopping with Liv, did you?”
“No,” you giggled. “I picked this up a while ago. Finally thought of an opportunity to use it.”
Rafael looked up at you, his green eyes half-hooded with lust. “Why don’t you come sit on Santa’s lap,” he purred and patted his knee.
You straddled his lap and ran your fingers through the smattering of hair across his chest, playfully snapping one of his red suspender straps. “I have to tell you, Santa. I’ve been really naughty this year,” you softly said, grinding against his growing erection.
“Well let’s see what we can do about getting you back on the nice list,” Rafael growled, kissing down the slope of your neck. You gasped and dug your nails into his biceps, feeling his scruff scratch against your soft skin. Rafael smirked, nibbling and sucking until a bruise formed right above your clavicle. Inhaling deeply, he could smell the Christmas cookie body spray you had spritzed on earlier. You smelled good enough to eat.
It may have been a crazy chaotic evening, but one thing was for sure—playing Santa certainly had its perks.
@glimmerglittergirl​ @southern-magnolia​ @sweetcannolicarisi​ @delia26​ @obfuscateyummy​ @sass-and-suspenders​ @eclecticminded​ @thatesqcrush​ @katmstanton​ @amirightcounsellor​ @beltzboys2015-blog​ @letty-o​ @sonnysdoll​ @lyssa1385​ @sweetsummertime99​ @burningsorr0ws​ @gibbs274​ @izzythefanfreak​ @riodallas​ @babypink224221​ @livxrafa​ @esparza-army​ @obsessionprofessional​ @ottosuricato​ @melsquared79​ @dreila03​ @frenchiefoxy​ @tropes-and-tales​ @thecraziestcrayon​ @goodluckfindingone​
125 notes · View notes
sunnyrollins · 4 years
Note
“If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for death.” for Rollisi pretty please? P.S you are amazing!!!!!
(ps: ily anon !)
“If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for death.”
Tumblr media
“Maybe you oughta slow down.”
The familiar voice in her ear barely registered as anything more than background noise, and Amanda winced subconsciously as the shot of tequila burned down the back of her throat. It wasn’t often that she had a night to herself - free of the responsibilities of motherhood and of the job - and she certainly planned on taking full advantage…despite what the personified voice of reason next to her may have been suggesting.
She turned to look at him, leaning her elbows against the bar as she studied his familiar features. Her lips parted just slightly to speak, but she waited a few long seconds before finally stumbling over her words. “If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for…” she paused, seeming to be briefly deep in thought, “death.”
They shared a long gaze, and for as much as he attempted to keep a straight face, Carisi couldn’t help but finally crack an amused smile with a laugh and a shake of his head. It wasn’t often that he saw her like this - especially since Billie has been born - but each time he did it nearly always felt like a new experience.
“Right now I’m feeling like I could switch those shots out for water and you’d be none the wiser,” he finally said. 
“Oh come on, Carisi,” she groaned in response, jabbing her elbow gently into his side. “Loosen up, would ya? How often do we get to just be anymore?”
“Missin’ the good old days?”
“No. But I’ve gotta admit, when I was back in high school drinking homemade moonshine in Hank Larson’s basement and looking to bum a cigarette off of the first person who’d give me the time of day, I didn’t think I’d end up here,” she admitted with a vague gesture to the space around them.
“In a shitty Manhattan dive bar on a Wednesday night?”
She cracked a smile, rolling her eyes playfully to the ceiling with a shake of her head. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that, right?” She bumped her shoulder affectionately against his to punctuate the rhetorical question. “I’m serious, Sonny. I’m a mom and a wife. I mean…growing up I though domestic bliss was just something that was made up for TV.”
Despite his lack of a verbal response, Amanda could recognize his small, fond smile while he listened to her. Maybe he’d never told her directly, but she could always tell by the look in his eyes how happy her speaking of her own happiness made him. It was endearing to say the least. When he took a swig of his beer instead of taking his turn to speak, she took it as a nonverbal cue to continue.
“Can I tell you something?” She asked.
“Go ‘head.”
“When Al proposed…hell…I didn’t wanna marry him,” she admitted. “I felt like I had to because of Billie and all but…”
Her words trailed off, and she shrugged her shoulders light-heartedly before glancing up at the television behind the bar. Carisi, on the other hand, kept his eyes on her, eyebrows furrowed just slightly.
“Remind me again why we’re talkin’ about this?”
“Because,” she breathed out the word in a tipsy huff, but before she could finish, her eyes lit up just slightly, as if something had dawned on her. A playful smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “God, Carisi, are you actually getting jealous right now?”
“What? ‘Course not…come on,” he chuckled to lessen the mildly defensive reaction.
“You know, for a lawyer you’re a terrible liar,” she observed with an amused smile. “And, for the record, it doesn’t suit you.”
“Believe me, if I was lying you’d know,” he assured her, and when she looked intently at him, narrowing her blue eyes into a scrutinizing squint, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re drunk. You know that, right?”
“So are you,” she reminded him. Before he could respond, she picked up the half empty beer sitting in front of him, swishing the remainder of the liquid around in its bottle. “You’re runnin’ low. Let’s get another round.”
For as grateful as he was that the subject of Dr. Al seemed to have fallen to the wayside, he knew that there was no way either of them could handle another drink by that point in the night. It had gotten late, and despite them deciding to take a night off from practically fixating on the case that had been draining nearly everyone in their immediate circle’s energy for as long as he could remember, there was still work to be done in the morning.
“I think I’m about done for the night,” he told her with a glance down to his watch. “I don’t know about you but I’m already feeling like I’m gonna regret stayin’ out drinking this late.”
Amanda looked down at the empty shot glass in front of her, seeming to mull it over for a brief moment before finally agreeing with a sigh.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she admitted. Carisi reached into the pocket of his suit jacket, fishing out enough money to cover their tab, and she watched him before continuing. “If you ask me, I think we all deserve a nice long vacation once this trial’s over.”
“Yeah…something tells me my boss won’t agree,” he chuckled, and when he took her jacket from the back of her barstool and held it out for her, she easily shrugged into it. “Now let’s get you home while you can still walk straight.”
Tumblr media
Amanda was sure she wouldn’t have been awake had it not been for the feeling of a soft kiss being pressed against her forehead and the gentle scratch of her husband’s barely-there stubble against her skin. With a subconscious groan at the ache that she could already feel in her temples she allowed her eyes to open just enough to see that there was still no morning light coming in through the cracks in the blinds.
“Go back to sleep, Sonny,” she murmured.
This time, he placed a kiss against her cheek, and it wasn’t until she fully opened her eyes that she noticed that he was already up and dressed for work.
“Can’t,” he said. “There’s some last minute trial stuff I’ve gotta go handle before this afternoon.”
“God, they work you like a dog over there,” she commented bitterly in response.
Before he could say anything in defense of exactly how ragged they ran him over at the DA’s office, she cupped his face between her hands and guided his lips to hers, breaking the tender kiss only when he spoke again, his words voice vibrating against her lips.
“I love you.”
For as many times as she had heard it, she admittedly knew she would never grow tired of the sound of his voice offering her that short, three word affirmation that never failed to send a rush of warmth to her chest. Her fingers brushed through the silver hair at his temples, and she practically melted against him with another kiss. 
When she broke it again, she pressed her forehead against his, holding him close as if to savor the short moment of peace that they had together before they would both have to throw themselves completely into their work. 
“I’m glad I didn’t settle back then,” she finally said, observing the look of slight confusion in his eyes for only a second before clarifying. “With Al. That’s what I was tryin’ to tell you last night before you got yourself into a twist.” 
“Well maybe next time we can just skip over the part where you almost marry someone else, alright?” He suggested with an amused smile.
She couldn’t help but do the same, and she laughed softly before pulling him into another soft kiss. 
“Whatever makes you happy, Dominick.”
25 notes · View notes
Text
A Blessing In Disguise (Days Of Our Lives/General Hospital Crossover AU)
Chapter 1 – Goodbye Salem, Hello Port Charles
SALEM, ILLINOIS
THERESA DONOVAN’S APARTMENT
SEPTEMBER 19TH, 2017
8 a.m.
The alarm rang and Theresa’s eyes shot up as she quickly rose out of bed, her blondish brown hair all messy and hanging in her face. She then went into the bathroom and got ready for the day – brushing her teeth, washing her face and even combing out all of the tangles from her hair.
Theresa groaned and screamed in frustration and agitation as she pulled and tugged with all her might to get a particularly huge knot out but to no avail.
“Ow, ow, ow, dammit!”
Then after several more minutes of messing and fighting with the knot and finally getting it under control, she heard a loud voice calling from the hallway.
“Mommy, hurry up! I wanna watch my favorite show!”
“In a minute, Tater Tot!” Theresa hollered as she gave a couple more strokes of her hair and then ran her hands through it slowly.
“Okay, that’s better.”
She then dug into her closet and got out a great outfit – a pretty purple floral blouse and a pair of navy blue dress jeans with dark black combat boots. After getting dressed, she then went over to the mirror to admire herself for a moment, fixing up her hair into a half-bun with a clip and a pick. Shortly thereafter, she turned towards the door and headed out of the room.
--
Several minutes later, Theresa walked downstairs with Tate in her arms and then went over to his high chair, where she placed him in securely. She then went over to the refrigerator and took out a couple of puree baby food jars, placing them on the counter.
Theresa picked up a banana flavored baby food jar and pulled out a drawer, whipping out a small metal spoon. She then opened up the jar and stuck the spoon in.
“Okay, Tate, here comes the choo-choo train!” Theresa announced as she brought over the jar of banana puree to her son and took out a spoonful, offering it to him.
Tate frowned and shook his head, grimacing and crossing his arms defiantly.
Theresa then licked her lips, circling the spoon in the air with one hand while making a rubbing motion on her belly with the other.
“Mmmm… Yummy banana! Come on, Tate! Don’t you want to grow up big and strong like Kion?”
Tate hesitated for a moment, considering her words. Then after a few short minutes, he opened his mouth and allowed his mother to feed him.
After Tate was done eating, Theresa cleaned him up and took him in her arms, heading upstairs.
“Come on, kiddo. We better get ready to go to your dad’s.”
--
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER
THE KIRIAKIS MANSION
The doorbell rang and Brady opened, revealing Theresa and Tate in the doorway.
“Hey, Theresa! Glad you can make it!” Brady smiled warmly as the two exes hugged.
Theresa stepped into the mansion with Tate and the baby supply bags in hand.
“Yeah, traffic was rough,” she griped as she entered the living room and sat down on the couch, exhaling sharply.
“How was work?” Brady asked as he sat down next to her.
“Pretty good. Our summer collection was a huge success and got a lot of great publicity. Everyone is still talking about it on social media,” Theresa answered with a small, satisfied smile on her face.
“That sounds amazing, Theresa. You should be really proud,” Brady complimented her.
“Aw, it was nothing,” Theresa blushed, feeling flattered. “Nicole, Kate and Anne deserve all the credit too just as much as I do.”
“Ah, so the wicked witch of the west finally showed up,” a gruff male voice intoned as Victor and Maggie walked into the living room.
Theresa glared with a scowl but fought to keep her tongue.
Tate then jumped out of her arms and rushed over to greet his great-grandparents.
“Grandpa Victor!” he shrieked excitedly as he embraced the old man joyfully. “You’re here!”
Victor chuckled, his face immediately brightening at the sight of the blonde haired child.
“Great to see you too, my boy.”
“Ready to have some fun today, my little one?” Maggie grinned brightly at him.
“Yeah, Grandma Maggie!” Tate exclaimed, doing a fist pump.
“Let’s all go into the garden then,” Maggie declared as she grabbed Tate’s hand and walked off, with Victor following them.
Melanie then came downstairs and met up with Brady and Theresa in the living room.
“Oh hey, Theresa. Wasn’t expecting you for another hour,” she grinned with an earnest and friendly expression.
“Yeah, just wanted to be here on time,” Theresa shrugged casually.
Melanie didn’t respond but acknowledged her with a silent nod.
Over the past couple of years, Melanie and Brady had become much more committed and devoted to each other as a couple, much to Theresa’s chagrin.
Even after Tate was discovered to be Theresa and Brady’s long lost son and was brought back home to Salem, she still desperately hung on to a tiny sliver of hope that somehow Brady would eventually see her in a brand new light upon realizing what a great mother and person she really was and take her back.
But as Brady and Melanie’s relationship continued to thrive and Theresa focused more on her new responsibilities as a first time mother and a newly successful fashion designer and savvy businesswoman, she slowly began to realize that she was wasting her time hoping and praying that she and Brady would miraculously get back together and it was high time she had to move on.
It was a cold and hard truth that at first Theresa wasn’t prepared or even willing to accept at first, but eventually she got to the point where she came to terms with it. And after a long while, Theresa slowly began to let go of her dreams of a future with Brady and worked harder at building a more prosperous future for herself.
And if she really had to be honest, she even admitted to herself that she would rather be happier as a single working mother than an unhappily married woman.
“Cool. Well, have a great day then, Theresa,” Melanie smiled with a wave.
“Thanks, Melanie,” Theresa nodded politely and she turned around to face Brady.
“Well, gotta go. I’ll stop by after work to pick him up.”
“Sounds great,” Brady replied with a nod.
“Okay, see ya,” Theresa waved goodbye and quickly headed out the door.
--
After another successful and hard day at D.W. Design, Nicole and Theresa went out to grab a bite to eat. They stopped at a local deli that had recently opened up and got some sandwiches.
Theresa took a huge bite out of her turkey and cheese sub and moaned in satisfaction with a huge smile on her face.
“Ugh, this is sooo good.”
“Yeah, now that is what I call a real sub,” Nicole declared as she also munched on her salami and ham sub and wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“Yep,” Theresa nodded as she swallowed her food and took a sip out of her water bottle.
“So how are things with you and Eric?”
“We’re doing good,” Nicole replied after taking a moment to swallow her food. “Eric is really happy with the work that he’s doing and a lot of people on social media are singing him endless praises. I’m so stoked just mentioning it.”
“Yeah, it’s really nice for Eric to finally find a passion that allows him to do what he loves and still be with you,” Theresa quipped. “I always had a feeling that you two were meant to be together.”
“Oh, really?” Nicole smirked coyly with an inquisitive eyebrow. “Did you?”
“Well…” Theresa grinned sheepishly with a casual shrug. “He literally turns into a completely different person whenever he’s with you. At least you are able to get him to stop being such a grumpy sour puss all the time.”
“Well, he helps keep me sane and grounded. That’s why I love him,” Nicole replied.
“Yeah,” Theresa sighed deeply. “I kind of feel bad though that he had to give up the one thing that he devoted so much of his life to. I mean, I don’t personally care for religion or even church, but I know how much it meant to him.”
“Yeah, but just because Eric can’t be a priest anymore doesn’t necessarily mean that he can’t still be a devoted, loving disciple of God,” Nicole rejoined.
“True,” Theresa nodded.
The two women then fell silent and continued to eat their meal. Theresa gazed down in deep thought as she nibbled on her sandwich periodically, looking very troubled. Nicole then noticed Theresa’s sudden change of mood and frowned anxiously.
“Hey, you okay, Jeannie T?”
“Yeah,” Theresa replied glumly, taking a long drink of her bottle. “You know, I was thinking about that offer we got a couple of weeks ago from Crimson to expand our brand out of state and establish a new office in New York.”
“And?” Nicole queried.
Theresa took a deep breath, exhaling sharply.
“I’m actually thinking of accepting it and moving to New York.”
“What?” Nicole started, nearly choking on her water and gawking in bewilderment.
“Theresa, are you nuts?! You have everything  you could ever want here. You have a very successful fashion line, an adorable and sweet baby boy who loves you and a couple of really great and loyal friends. What more could you possibly want?”
Theresa frowned, averting her gaze and playing with her hair.
“I-I don’t know. I just feel like there is something missing in my life and I can’t figure out why. Like there’s this really weird funk I can’t seem to shake myself out of.”
“Like what?” Nicole inquired.
“Well…” Theresa trailed off, pondering. “For one thing, I haven’t dated anyone ever since Brady and I had called it quits and none of my other relationships have quite panned out so far.”
“I mean, everywhere I turn, everyone around me seems to have someone in their lives. You and Eric, Brady and Melanie, Chad and Abby, Will and Sonny and even J.J. and Gabi. Me? I have nobody. It’s like I’m literally the only single young woman in the whole town and no one wants to touch me with a ten foot pole.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Theresa,” Nicole reassured her with a gentle squeeze of the hand. “Trust me; you are going to find that special someone.���
“It’s only a matter of time before you are going to find that perfect guy who is going to love you for you. Believe me, if I would’ve realized that years ago, I could’ve saved myself a lot of heartache and drama.”
“True that,” Theresa laughed.
“So what is this Crimson company exactly?” Nicole asked.
“Well, it’s technically a subsidy of this multimedia company called Aurora and it’s run by an older blonde woman named Nina Reeves.”
“She had seen a whole bunch of articles and videos on our company and she was so impressed that she had decided to extend the offer to us. But if you don’t want to move our company to New York right now, that’s fine, Nicole. I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable doing.”
“Thanks, kiddo,” Nicole smiled, gazing at her intently. “I appreciate the sentiment. But are you sure you really want to go through with this?”
“I haven’t really decided yet,” Theresa mulled. “I still need to figure things out. I mean, I’m scared of leaving all of the things and people that I love behind, but at the same time I’m also not sure if I should really pass up this offer. I mean, who knows if I’m ever going to get an opportunity like this again?”
“That’s a good point,” Nicole retorted.
Theresa checked her phone and then picked up her paper wrapping and water bottle.
“I better go and get Tate from Brady’s. I also need to discuss this with him once I figured out what I really want to do.”
“Good luck then, Theresa,” Nicole hollered as Theresa dumped her garbage into the trash can and then started to walk back to her car. She glanced over at Nicole and gave her a small wave.
“So I’ll call you or text you later?”
“Sure,” Nicole replied. “See you tomorrow then.”
“Yeah, bye,” Theresa hollered as she left the deli.
--
The following afternoon, a car pulled up in front of the local cemetery and Theresa stepped out of the vehicle, carrying a bouquet of roses, lavenders and daffodils.
She then walked past several long rows of graves as she slowly scanned the area in search of one particular resting place she wanted to visit.
Finally, she arrived at her destination and she knelt down on the soft grass, setting down the flowers beside her as she took out the ceramic vase from its hole.
The minute she laid her eyes on the engraved inscription on the grave marker before her, her eyes welled up and she fought back tears.
CAROLINE BRADY
BELOVED MOTHER, WIFE AND GRANDMOTHER
“Hey, Grandma,” Theresa murmured, her voice holding back a choked sob. “It’s me, Jeannie. I need to talk to you about something.”
She glanced up at the dark, cloudy sky and noticed the soft gusts of wind picking up. Theresa then turned her focus back to Caroline’s grave.
“I got this really great job offer to go to New York and expand my fashion line there. This Nina woman seems really excited to work with me and I also feel the same way.”
She then paused, feeling at a loss for words.
“But I…”
Theresa shook her head, chuckling wryly.
“I don’t want to leave everything that I know behind. I don’t want to leave behind my friends, my family, everything that I’ve ever known or loved…”
“But I also want a chance for my fashion brand to grow and thrive, and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself if I turn down this opportunity. I need to evolve and adapt as a businesswoman and entrepreneur – otherwise, what’s the point? Grandma, please give me a sign; show me that I’m going on the right path, that I’m making the right decision.”
Right as she said this, a cold burst of wind blew directly into her face, almost sending her tumbling into the ground.
Theresa landed on her hands and knees and looked up just in time to see a stream of dead and dried leaves dancing and circling in the wind. Just as she was getting up to her feet, she heard a soft voice that was so faint that she almost didn’t catch it at first, and yet it sounded so familiar and clear in her head.
Do it.
Theresa then stood up suddenly, looking up in confusion and bewilderment as the voice continued to ring in her ear.
Just do it.
“Grandma?” Theresa whispered, wide-eyed.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
The voice continued to whisper softly to her until it gradually faded away.
Finally Theresa let out a big sigh and relaxed, suddenly not feeling so scared and apprehensive anymore. She then looked over to her left and smiled tenderly upon noticing that there were some flowers left at her uncle Bo’s grave.
“I’m glad that Aunt Hope hasn’t completely forgotten about you, Uncle Bo, even if she is Aiden Jennings’s new wife now. I know that there’s a part of her that will always love you no matter what.”
She then said a few prayers before turning around and walking away, her resolve and determination strengthening with every step that she took.
--
“Wait, you’re leaving? But why?” Brady demanded in shock and horror upon learning what Theresa had just told him.
“It’s time to make a new change in my life, Brady,” Theresa informed him calmly. “I’ve been in this town long enough and I’ve done all that I could ever do here. I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to make a living and be a good parent to our son. And now I have a chance to start over in a brand new town and have brand new adventures.”
Brady frowned, rubbing his chin with a puzzled look on his face.
“Okay… But can’t we at least talk about this before you run off to a whole other state?”
Theresa then burst out laughing hysterically, her eyes beaming.
“Why else would I be here, Brady? Trust me, I’m not that dumb.”
“What’s this I hear about someone moving?” Victor demanded as he stormed into the living room.
Theresa then turned to face Victor with a proud smirk.
“Well, I’ll have you know that I’m not going to be around here for much longer. I’m accepting that job offer from Crimson and I’m moving to upstate New York.”
“What did you say?” Victor gawked, his eyes bulging in disbelief and leaning in closely to make sure that he had heard correctly.
“She said that she’s moving to New York, Dad!” Brady bellowed in a loud voice.
“Really? Truly?” Victor reiterated incredulously as he was fighting to keep an increasingly widening grin from crossing his face.
Then after a few minutes of silence, Victor let out an excited holler as he jumped and yellowed for joy.
“I don’t believe this! It must be my lucky day! The wicked witch is finally leaving this ivory tower! Hallelujah!”
He continued to celebrate and rejoice in a boisterous and loud manner as Brady stood there with a slackjawed and mortified expression and Theresa covered her mouth and fought to keep herself from laughing.
“What on Earth is going on here?” Maggie demanded as she entered the living room with a suspicious look on her face.
Brady shrugged.
“Granddad is just excited that Theresa’s moving away to New York because she got a new job offer.”
“Oh, really? Well then, congratulations, Theresa. Brady and I wish you the absolute best of luck,” Maggie replied as she went over to Theresa and hugged her.
“I won’t!” Victor declared loudly as he continued to cheer and hoot in the background.
“Aw, thanks Maggie. That really means a lot coming from you,” Theresa blushed as she hugged her back.
“It’s no trouble, Theresa. You are Tate’s mother, and in my book that makes you family,” Maggie informed her earnestly.
“Yeah,” Theresa looked away with a guilty expression. “I know you had every right to hate me after all the crap I’ve pulled with Brady and Melanie…”
“Oh, hush now…” Maggie interjected, putting her hands on her shoulders and gazing into her eyes. “It’s all in the past. What matters now is the person you are now.”
“Thanks,” Theresa blushed sheepishly in a low voice.
“So I guess we’re going to court now to hash out the new living arrangements,” Brady sighed, dropping his shoulders and hanging his head.
“Yeah,” Theresa nodded, sharing his concerns. “I just need to figure out how I’m going to tell our own son that we’re about to rip him away from everything that he’s ever known and loved.”
--
After breaking the difficult news to their son Tate, Brady and Theresa headed back into court in order to update their current joint custody agreement.
“So it is agreed then that the new amended custody agreement is both to your liking?” the judge announced.
“Yes, Your Honor,” Brady answered.
The judge then turned to face Theresa with a neutral, emotionless expression.
“And what about you, Ms. Donovan? Do you also find this acceptable?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” Theresa nodded.
The judge then turned his attention to the whole court, raising up his gauntlet.
“Then let it be on the record that both Ms. Donovan and Mr. Black are both in agreement that the minor child in question, Tate Donovan Black, will spend the large majority of the year with his mother in Port Chales and will then spend every summer and every other Thanksgiving and Christmas with his father in Salem. I hereby approve of this custody agreement until further notice. Dismissed.”
Theresa, Brady and their lawyers then parted ways and headed out of the courthouse but the two former spouses met up with each other halfway and gave each other one last embrace.
“Good luck, Theresa.”
“Same to you, Brady.”
--
A couple of weeks later, Theresa was already at the local airport and was waiting to board her flight with Tate and Anne.
Theresa glanced up at the flight information board every few minutes, waiting anxiously for her flight to be called.
“I can’t believe this is really happening,” Anne replied sadly, hanging her head. “I’m never going to see you again.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Anne; I’ll come by for a visit every now and then,” Theresa assured her.
Anne gave her a wistful and tender smile.
“You know, I can’t believe we’ve been friends for like what, 4 years? It feels like we’ve known each other for our whole lives and it also seems like yesterday that we first met and became best buddies.”
“Yeah, where did the time go?” Theresa chuckled, shaking her head. “And to think all I ever cared about then was worrying about getting the next high and not giving a damn what anyone else thought.”
“Funny how life can change so quickly in so little time. And now I have a prosperous career and a beautiful baby boy that I love and treasure more than anything in the whole world. All I need now is a good-looking Prince Charming and my life will be complete.”
“Well, maybe you’ll find him in New York,” Anne suggested.
“Yeah, maybe,” Theresa suggested.
Anne gave her a loving squeeze with a nuzzle.
“Promise you won’t forget me?”
“I’ll never forget you, Anne,” Theresa beamed as she pressed her head back against hers.
“Flight to Port Charles, New York now boarding,” a female voice intoned.
“Well, this is it,” Theresa sighed as she picked up Tate and her luggage. “I’ll miss you, Annie.”
“Good luck, Jeannie T,” Anne replied sadly as the two women shared one last tender embrace before Theresa turned and walked away, heading straight for the boarding gate.
Anne watched her best friend leave as she eventually disappeared into the thick crowd of people bustling and moving about. She then collapsed on her knees and broke down into inconsolable, hoarse sobs, the reality of the whole situation finally crashing down hard on her.
2 notes · View notes
therandomfics · 6 years
Text
Coffee’s For Closers: 6
Emma came home sometime shortly after Sonny left for the night. It wasn’t surprising that she came home late, it was just surprising that she came home the way that she did. She had her arms full of shopping bags from high end retailers you couldn’t pronounce, her hair was a new color and it looked like she’d spent a solid hour and a half inside of Sephora before she went out. 
“I haven’t seen you since last night, Emma.” 
She stopped at her bed and unloaded her arms. “I know, I’m sorry. I was busy,” she said dismissively and began unbagging her items. 
“You missed work, too,” you added with a frown. 
“I quit, actually. I forgot to tell you.” 
“What? How are you going to pay your half of the bills?” 
She turned to face you with a smug smirk. “I have my ways.” 
“Does it have any correlation to what happened last night?” you asked, brow arched curiously. 
“Actually yeah. I’ve been going to these clubs since I was about 21. I thought it was all fun at first but I’ve got guys who will legitimately pay my bills if I sleep with them,” she explained cheerfully. 
“Emma, I think that’s prostitution.” 
“No, I’m a sugar baby. Sometimes I don’t even need to sleep with them! They get one look at me without my panties on and I’m set for the week.” 
She was so cheerful - too cheerful for your liking. It wasn’t adding up, and though you didn’t want to shame her for her choices, you couldn’t figure out how she would be comfortable with that lifestyle choice only a week or two after being sexually assaulted. 
“What are you going to do about Kenny?” 
“He apologized. He was just angry,” she explained with a shrug. “I’m still not going to take him back. He doesn’t make enough money to support my needs and wants, plus he’s kind of vanilla for my liking. Speaking of, did you have a great time last night?” 
Your head spun with her nonchalant attitude about everything that had happened. Choosing to ignore her question, you pushed on about her assault. “What happened, Emma? You know the police are still trying to figure it out and they’re not going to leave you alone until you explain what happened. You can’t outcry and then take it back.” 
“It’s nothing,” she snapped and shut her door in your face. Obviously it was something, just not something that she was prepared to discuss at that given moment. 
“Emma,” you called out through her door with a sigh. “I’m not trying to be an asshole, honestly. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want it to happen again, that’s all. He’s dangerous, you know he is, so do something about it. Protect yourself and anyone else he might encounter.” 
You heard the music in her room start up and grow louder; her intent to drown you out was successful. 
A few days passed before you saw your roommate again. She was giving direction to a few delivery men as they dropped off and set up her new bedroom furniture. She had also purchased a relatively luxurious new MacBook, which was residing on a brand new glass top desk. Apparently she was doing well for herself. You confessed to yourself that you were jealous, especially when you looked at your own room and it’s lack of proper furnishing, but you wanted to believe it was her way of grieving. 
“Y/N,” Emma called out, standing in the living room after the men had left. “I need to talk to you.” 
“About?” you called from your room, leaning over in your desk chair to peer out at her. 
“About what happened.” She walked into your room and sat on your bed with a huff. “Let me talk. Don’t interrupt.” 
You nodded and closed your laptop to listen to her. 
“Kenny found out what I was doing at those clubs. He didn’t realize where I was going all the time, but he knew something was going on. I made - don’t get mad okay? - I made a dating profile and I used your pictures. Mainly your face. You look innocent and endearing. I used my body. Let’s face it.. my body,” she gestured up and down her torso. “Anyway, I got a message from Kenny one day. It took him about three weeks to figure out he wasn’t talking to you. He genuinely thought you had a thing for him. But he finally got smart and realized that those pictures were of my body, not yours. He was furious, and wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing.” She stopped and looked at you for any reaction, but you remained stoic. “He hacked into my email, found my bank statement and saw I had been at Le Morte, The Dungeon, Paddles, and a few other places. He followed me around until he found me at The Dungeon. My fetish usually means I wear a blindfold and I’m tied down to the bed, or whatever we’re using.” 
Your face was pale and blank as you listened to Emma so casually explain her actions and her fetishes. Remaining silent, you merely nodded in response. 
“Well, I thought I was meeting this guy named Brent. Turns out, I was meeting Kenny, and with me being tied down, I couldn’t do anything. He took advantage of the situation, slapped me around some and threatened to tell you everything. So that’s why I said he raped me,” she concluded with a shrug. “What do you think I should have done?” 
“I.. mean, Emma, if you didn’t want to have sex with him, that’s rape. Boyfriend or not. Truthfully it’s fucked up that you’d let him think I was interested in him at all when you know I find him repulsive and insensitive, but I guess that’s irrelevant because I already knew that.” 
“How did you know?” she demanded, sitting up straight. 
“The Detectives at SVU found your photos of me. Or, us really, I guess. Anyway they know you go to The Dungeon and they know now that you’ve been catfishing people. Is that how this whole thing started? You conned guys online but realized you could get more money in person?” 
“I know you’re pissed because it’s not something you’d be able to do but you don’t need to be so judgmental,” she hissed and stood up abruptly. “Whatever, I’m not pressing charges against Kenny for what he did because it was part of the game.” 
“Fine. That’s stupid, but that’s your choice. If you’d please close the door on your way out I’d appreciate it. I’ve got to finish this paper,” you replied flatly and turned back to your desk, opening your laptop and resuming your work. 
Sunday mornings were always your scheduled day off, and Sonny took advantage of that fact by meeting you for breakfast at a place that served more than coffee and pastries. Over pancakes and orange juice you explained the conversation you and Emma had, and how insane you thought she had become recently. 
“I’m not even sure where to go from here,” you admitted and pushed a piece of pancake through a river of syrup. “She got her boyfriend to think I wanted him, while she was with him, and then he found out what she was doing and got his revenge by having sex with her while she was blindfolded, thinking it was someone else.” 
Sonny, who had seen and heard of much worse, was not nearly as alarmed as you were. “You can’t try to rationalize what people do, Y/N. I know you want to but stop, you’re just gonna make yourself mad,” he insisted and reached across the table for your free hand. 
“It makes me feel relatively unsafe,” you confessed and placed your hand in his. “I should just be thankful that she’s not inviting random men over to hook up, though she’s not doing much better by meeting random men out in public.. whatever, who am I to judge?” 
“She dropped the charges,” he said after a moment. “Fin’s pretty pissed because of the time and energy he put into getting the proper evidence to prove it was rape. Then, Emma admits it was rape to you, and drops the charges with us. I don’t understand her either, but I’ll just be thankful that this situation gave me the chance to find you.” 
“Stop being so nice,” you muttered and tried to pull your hand away. 
Sonny stopped you and tugged your hand back so that he could grab it again. “Stop fighting me. You deserve to be treated like a princess.” 
Back at your apartment, you had planned on changing your sheets, doing a few loads of laundry, meal prepping some for the up coming week, and getting ahead on the mountains of research you still had to do. You stepped off the elevator as you toyed with your phone, trying to find the right music to listen to so that you’d be motivated and bumped into a man getting on. 
“Sorry,” you called out, but he couldn’t hear you with his own ear buds in. You hated the city sometimes, even though you were just as guilty when it came to being negligent. 
The door to your apartment was open when you arrived. Music was playing in Emma’s room as usual, which meant she was home. Obviously in addition to being an escort or whatever she was, she was an idiot. Leaving the door open in your building was an invitation for God only knew what. 
“Hey! You left the door open, jackass,” you called out and kicked it shut. Emma didn’t reply; probably couldn’t hear you due to the music. You marched across the kitchen and down the hall to her room, knocking loudly. Still, no answer. “Emma?” 
The playlist started over again - it was one you knew too well. First it was three of her favorite Britney Spears songs, followed by what you thought was a country-pop crossover group but it might have just been country, then her goth phase of one Evanesance song, and to wrap it up, six different songs by Beyonce. 
Slowly, you opened her door - careful not to interrupt whatever she might have been doing, and also so that you didn’t scare her. When you finally pushed it open, you saw her feet sticking out from the space between her bed and the wall. You were already calling 911 to report it by the time you realized that your roommate was bleeding from her head and her thighs. 
Sonny met you at the hospital and joined you in the waiting area for critical care. Emma had suffered blood loss, sexual assault, and blunt force trauma to the back of her head. You left the key to your apartment with Tutuola and insisted you’d get it back later; you had no desire to return to the apartment now. Emma’s mother and father showed up an hour after you called them and fell apart when the doctor explained that they were performing surgery to stop a hemorrhage to her reproductive organs. Whoever attacked Emma had left her for dead. If you hadn’t gotten home when you did, she might very well be dead. However, if you’d been home when she got attacked, you might be in the same situation that Emma was in, too. 
“I ran into someone when I was getting off the elevator to our floor, Sonny. Can you please let Lieutenant Benson know? I know they’ve got cameras. We fought to get them installed,” you said quietly, trying not to let Emma’s parents hear you. 
Sonny stepped out for a while, making his calls and giving his updates to his team. He wasn’t able to be apart of the investigation, you knew, but at least he could be there with you and Emma’s parents for support. 
“Mr. and Mrs. Paulson, I’m so sorry that this has happened,” you soothed as you approached the distraught parents of your roommate. “I just wanted you to know that if there’s anything I can do, I’m here.” 
“Thank you, Y/N. We didn’t realize she’d gotten so bad again,” Mrs. Paulson sobbed, burying her face into her husband’s shoulder. “We should have known.” 
“I’m sorry, what do you mean again?” you inquired as you sat down across from them. “She’s been good as long as I’ve known her.” 
Mr. Paulson spoke up, rubbing his wife’s back. “Emma’s got bipolar disorder and she stopped taking her medicine. We only know this because we track her bank account and she’s never once made a pharmacy purchase. She never gave us any indications that she wasn’t taking it anymore, so we just assumed she was paying cash.” 
Emma had at least six cards in her wallet at any given time - credit, debit, whatever they were. Obviously she was keeping something - or some things - from her parents, beyond her means of income. “The proper authorities have been informed and I’m positive they’ll be here soon to help shed some light on the situation. Meanwhile, let’s just pray for Emma’s speedy recovery. If you’ll excuse me,” you concluded and stood up to walk outside. Nothing made sense right now and you wanted to let Sonny know as soon as possible. 
Sonny was outside on his phone, pacing back and forth while he explained something very heatedly to the receiving of his call. When he saw you, his voice dropped and he quickly got off the phone. “You okay?” 
You nodded and motioned for him to go back inside with you. “Emma’s parents told me some important information. I know you’re not on the case but I think it’s important that they speak to someone from your squad. They said Emma has bipolar disorder and hasn’t been medicated - they also said they only know of one bank account of hers but I know there’s at least six different forms of payment in her wallet. It could be any of those... friends of hers that did this.” 
Sonny nodded and waited for you to keep walking. Usually he would have put his arms around you but perhaps the stress of the situation was causing him anxiety. “What did you do after we left breakfast?” 
“What?” 
“What did you do...” he paused and clenched his jaw. “After we left breakfast.” 
“I went home.” 
“You called 911 at 10:23. I left you at 9:30. It took you over 45 minutes to get home two blocks away?” 
“Well yeah. I stopped the market. Meal prep, remember? I told you I wanted to do it today,” you explained, narrowing your eyes at Sonny. “Why? Do you think I did this to her?” 
He shook his head and looked at you incredulously. “No, what? No. I just want to know why CSU found fluids in your bed.” 
“Fluids?” you repeated. 
“Yeah, fluids, like semen.” 
“You think I had time to go home and have sex with someone before realizing that Emma was hurt? The door to my apartment was open when I got home, Sonny. I didn’t have time to fuck anyone and I surely wouldn’t have gone home to have sex if I found my door wide open and my roommate wasn’t responding after I called out to her repeatedly. You’re an asshole,” you concluded and shoved him out of your way. “Just leave, alright? I can’t believe you.” 
“I’m sorry, I just..” 
“What, got worried? Got insecure? Thought maybe I’d find someone who was better than you?” you snapped and continued down the hall, back to the waiting area. “Welcome to my thought process on the daily. Find another rebound, I’m kind of busy.” 
13 notes · View notes
Ties that Bind - Part 7: Everything You Are
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Square Filled: Free Space (Detective!Dean)
Warnings: Dean being a dumbass
Word Count: 4500ish
A/N: Thanks to @blacktithe7 for betaing and helping me rework this series. This fills my Free Space square for @spnaubingo
***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***
Ties that Bind MASTERLIST -  SPN AU BINGO MASTERLIST
Tumblr media
Dean had been awake for a while, but he had stayed completely still as he looked down on the sleeping woman on his chest. She was beautiful, but it was more than that. She was fierce and courageous, and it seemed to him that whatever she did, she did with every fiber of her being. He had never met anyone quite like her. Not someone that fought for what they believed in and trusted so completely. He hated that she was hurting, and he hated even more she had seen what she had.
Dean was pulled out of his thoughts when she started to move and moan softly. He smiled down at her, watching and loving how comfortable she seemed, even though she had to have realized he was under her by now. Her eyes were still closed, but she smiled at the sound of his voice, making his heart flutter.
“Morning sweetheart.”
She moaned softly and snuggled closer to him, clearly pretending to still be asleep, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “You know I have to go to work right? Bad guys don’t catch themselves.”
“Maybe someone should teach them,” she mumbled, hiding her head against his chest, and Dean chuckled, running his hands soothingly up and down her back.
“Oh I am trying sweetheart.”
She finally tilted her head up, resting her chin against his chest and smiled. “I guess you were right…”
Dean sent her a cheeky grin. “Always am. But about what this time?”
She laughed and teasingly hit his chest as she pushed herself up to sit between his legs, and Dean sat up with her. “About me falling asleep.”
“Yeah… I tried to wake you… but…” Dean suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable, unsure how she felt about him staying the night, but his nerves were calmed as soon as she smiled at him again.
“It’s okay. You’re not bad as far as pillows go.”
“No?” Dean raised a brow, making her blush, and suddenly he was all too aware of how close they were, of how the sunlight brought out the golden flecks in her eyes shine and how full her lips were.
Dean quickly cleared his throat and got off the couch before things went too far.
“I better head home. I’ll need a shower before work.”
She shrugged and looked up at him,.“You are welcome to shower here if you want?”
Dean considered it for a moment, not really feeling like leaving her just yet, but he also knew staying was a bad idea. So instead, he smiled at her. “Same clothes 3 days in a row might be pushing it.”
“Okay…” Dean swore she looked a little disappointed as she got up and headed for the kitchen. “You don’t want some breakfast before you go?”
Dean followed her slowly as he considered his options, but when he caught a glimpse of the clock in her kitchen, he knew he had none. “I’ll be late if I stay…”
She nodded, and this time Dean was sure he saw sadness in her eyes. So instead of walking out the door, he headed around the counter and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly against him. He smiled as he felt her reciprocate the hug, and he gently pressed his lips against her hair.
“Thank you for last night. I had fun…”
Dean paused and looked down at her before he continued, “…if it doesn’t get too late. Maybe I could stop by after work?”
Dean saw the sadness leave her eyes as she smiled up at him. “I would like that Dean.”
“Okay.” He gave her another quick squeeze before he headed out the door, but he stopped when he heard her voice call after him.
“Be careful Dean.”
He sent her a cheeky grin as he opened her front door. “Careful is my middle name.”
She was still on his mind when he walked through the doors to the precinct about an hour later, and she didn’t leave his thoughts before Benny’s voice pulled him out of his head.
“Sleep well Winchester?”
“Huh?” Dean looked over at his partner as he sat down at the desk next to his.
“You didn’t make it home last night.” Dean did his best to ignore the cheeky grin on Benny’s face and keep the grin off his own.
“Are you spying on me?” Dean tried to look annoyed, but Benny just laughed it off.
“No, just guessing, but you just tipped your hand brother.”
Dean silently cursed his own stupidity. “It’s not like that. We fell asleep watching movies,” Dean defended himself, not wanting to reveal his growing attachment to the girl. Or so he thought.
“But you like her?” Benny’s question came off more as a statement, so Dean’s first instinct was to lie and tell him no,  but Benny just raised his brows, somehow making Dean reconsider.
“Yeah. Maybe. Oh shut up,” Dean rambled making Benny laugh and Dean all but blushed sending Benny a grumpy look. “Are we working or what?”
Dean managed to keep his mind on the case at hand and Benny off his back for the rest of the day, but he drew a small sigh of relief when no additional cases or emergencies were dumped on them, letting him get out of the precinct by late afternoon. He quickly said his goodbyes to Benny and headed for his car before pulling out into the road and driving back towards her house.
All the way there, he tried to come up with a good reason not to just ask her out. She had been through a lot lately, but she seemed to relax in his company. She didn’t really seem to be bothered with him spending nights or showing up out of the blue. Besides, if he had misread her feelings, then she could say no, and he would tell her they could be friends.
Dean took a deep breath as pulled onto her road deciding what the hell, but then his heart sank when he saw them. Castiel seemed to just have arrived at her house, and Dean watched Y/N run from her door and jump right into his arms as he twirled her around.
Dean quickly turned down a side road as he fought the tears pressing against his eyes. This was stupid. He knew the two of them were close, and she had been through a lot. Dean had been a friend when she needed one. Of course that was what she saw him as. She had been through enough. He didn’t want to cause trouble in her relationship, so he knew it would be better if he just backed off, even though that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
***
Dean had been keeping busy at work and with Ben, trying to keep his mind off of her, but it wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be. Everything he did, whether it was Claire’s case, a place, or Ben, reminded him of her somehow. Even Sonny’s when he had gone up there yesterday.
He had kept seeing her on the porch, and Dean had kept cursing himself. It was not like she had been his girlfriend. She was a friend, and she was free to see whoever she wanted. Why couldn’t he just accept that she already had someone in her life and move on? Dean walked past the office after having walked Ben to his room. He was out the door and heading across the yard to  his car when he heard her voice calling out to him from behind.
He froze, unsure of what to do or expect. He wanted to keep walking. He wasn’t ready to be around her just yet, but he also didn’t want her to think he was pissed at her or anything. So he turned around and sent her a forced smile.
“Hey I missed you the other day,” she smiled at him, but her tone wasn’t as happy as he had gotten used to over the past few days.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I got caught up at work. It got pretty late so…” Dean lied but stopped as he watched her frown and place her hands on her hips.
“You know for a cop you are a crappy liar Dean. If you didn’t want to come over you should have said so.” She twirled around, leaving Dean gobsmacked for a few seconds before he rushed after her, grabbing her by the elbow, making her turn back to face him.
“I did. And I did come over, but you… look I just don’t want to cause any trouble between you and Castiel that’s all.”
Dean looked down at his feet as he talked, so he didn’t notice the puzzled look on her face. Her laughter surprised him to say the least, and his eyes flew up to meet hers.
“Me and Cas?” She was halfway laughing. “Cas is my best friend Dean. You really think I would let you stay over like you did the other night if I was dating someone?”
“So you’re not…” Dean felt more than a little embarrassed, and her laughter wasn’t helping any. “But I saw you guys…” Dean stopped, realizing he hadn’t really seen anything that couldn’t have meant a million different things.
His pause made her stop laughing and take a step forward. “Cas finally gathered up the courage to ask out Meg… Masters. You might know her?” Y/N continued after Dean nodded, quietly staring at his feet. “So I gave him a big hug. Maybe that is what you saw? Dean, I am sorry if I…”
Dean looked back into her eyes. He saw the pain and sadness there, so he took a step forward pulling her into his arms, and he relaxed when he felt her immediately hug him back.
“So what are you doing Friday night?” Dean smiled almost shyly.
Dean smiled down at her as he released his hold on her, and he could have sworn he saw her blush.
“Are you asking me out detective?” She bit her lip, sending him a teasing smile.
“Yes.” Dean’s eyes didn’t leave her face, and he couldn’t help but smile when she did.
“Well then, I guess I am going out with you Friday.”
***
Y/N’s POV
You were nervous as you stood in front of the full length mirror in the tight red dress Pamela had helped you pick out yesterday after Dean had texted you out of the blue, telling you to “wear something nice.”
You smiled as you remembered calling your friend in a panic and how the two of you had gone to pretty much every store in town before you had found the right dress. It did look good on you. You had to admit that, but you were still nervous and afraid you would be overdressed for whatever Dean had planned.
You took a deep breath as you tried to calm your nerves when you thought of him. You had no idea why going on a date with him made you this jumpy. The two of you had slept in the same bed, and you had fallen asleep on top of him on the couch. You were practically already dating, even though neither of you had ever called your time together that. Besides, you had only kissed him once, and he had pushed you away. So it hadn’t really been dating.
Your mind was racing and you practically jumped as the doorbell rang, and Santo started barking.
“The door is open,” you yelled out of your open top stairs window without bothering to look out. Instead, you checked your half braided updo and your make up one last time before quickly heading for the stairs.
You stopped in your tracks on top of them when you saw him. He was kneeling down on your floor, greeting Santo who happily ran around him in circles, but that was not what almost stopped your breathing.
He was wearing a black suit and tie, and he looked even more handsome than you remembered as his broad shoulders strained the jacket. You all of a sudden couldn’t move. Your nerves overtook you, and you were afraid you were going to have a panic attack. Why was he even here? What would a guy that looked like that want with you? It wasn’t that you had low self-esteem, but you hadn’t been out with anyone in a long time, and they sure as hell had not looked like Dean.
Dean looked up smiling when they step you stood on cricked. A genuine happy smile, and just like that, all of your nerves were gone.
You headed down the stairs, smiling back at him as he got back on his feet. Loving how his eyes stayed glued to you as you moved.
“Wow,” he breathed out as you reached the bottom of the stairs, making you laugh.
“Yeah?”
“Hell yes. You look… wow.” Dean search for the words. The way his eyes wandered over you made you laugh once again, and you gently tugged his jacket when you walked past him.
“You don’t look half bad yourself Detective.”
You found a few toys for Santo to keep him occupied while you were gone, and you turned back to face Dean, finding his eyes still on you and smiling. “You ready?” he asked, offering you his hand, which you gladly took.
“Ready.” You smiled, letting him lead you out the door and towards his car. “Where are we going?”
“To dinner. My brother knew this place… I’ve actually never been, but…” You smiled when you noticed how nervous he suddenly seemed, and you put your hand on top of his as he changed gears in an attempt to calm him.
“I am sure it will be perfect.” You smiled at him as his eyes briefly found yours, and he seemed to relax as you continued to drive in comfortable silence, heading for wherever Dean was planning on taking you.
All comfort had left you half an hour later when you were sitting at some posh restaurant downtown looking at a menu you barely understood.
“So…” you looked up when Dean spoke to see that he wasn’t looking much more comfortable than you were feeling, “what do you think is good here?”
“I…” You contemplated lying for a second and coming up with something to ease his nerves before you decided on the truth. “I have no idea. I can barely read the damn thing.” You waved the menu, and Dean’s eyes opened wide before a smile slide across his face.
“Yeah me neither. I am more of a cheeseburger kinda guy so…” He laughed, and his hand shot across the table, squeezing yours. “Look, I’m sorry. I just really wanted to impress you, and when my brother suggested this place, I…”
You let out a small laugh. “You don’t have to try and impress me Dean. I already said yes to going out with you remember?” You smiled when you saw his eyes sparkle and added, “and to tell you the truth, I am more uncomfortable than impressed with places like this…”
“Yeah?” You swore Dean looked almost relieved before a cheeky, boyish grin slid across his face. “What do you say we get out of here then?”
You were stunned. The prospect of having to tell the waiter you were leaving actually scared you more than suffering through the meal. “Dean we can’t just….”
“Sure we can.” He winked at you before pulling his phone out of his pocket, pretending he was getting a call. He spoke in a loud enough voice for half the restaurant to hear as he pretended being called in for work before fake hanging up and getting out of his seat speaking too you still loud enough for the waiter two tables over to hear. “I am really sorry honey, but it seems there has been a robbery. I know I promised you would have me all night, but…”
You masked a giggle with a loud sigh as you got up, taking his hand. “You better make this up to me later. You know this can’t keep happening Dean.”
You saw the sparkle in Dean’s eyes as you played along, but the rest of him looked guilt-ridden when the waiter appeared next to you. “Are you leaving sir?”
“Yes, I just had a call. I have to work…”
“Again.” you added, making Dean’s head shoot around to look at you, and you could tell he was rather impressed with your performance and fighting to hold back a laugh.
“I am sorry ma'am If you want to keep the table we could figure something out?” the waiter tried to smooth things over, desperate to not have you start a fight in the middle of the crowded room.
“I am not eating alone again. You better take me home Dean, before you go save the world.”
You spun around on your heels, leaving Dean to pay for the drinks and talk to the waiter.
Dean caught up to you when you were a few houses away from the restaurant, grabbing your hand as he started to laugh. “Holy crap. Remind me never to do that to you for real.”
You laughed as you walked hand in hand across the street and around his car to your side. “So what now?”
All of a sudden you worried the evening really was ending, that Dean was planning on taking you home, but all your worries left you as soon as he smiled at you and winked as he opened the car door for you. “Now we go have some fun. I know just the place.”
****
“Really?” you laughed as you walked hand in hand across the street towards an old arcade.
“Really.” Dean smiled at you, giving your hand a squeeze. “I spent about half my childhood in this place. My parents live about three blocks that way.” Dean pointed before spinning you around and pointing in another direction, “and we went to school about 5 blocks that way. So we drove past here on our way home every day, and every other day we made a stop. You wanna?”
Dean motioned towards the door. You smiled as Dean talked, and all of a sudden, the old arcade seemed like the perfect place for a first date. You wanted to get to know Dean, and this place seemed like it was part of him. So you knew you would like it.
“Yes.” You laughed as he mouthed yes and pumped his fist in the air, making you shake your head at him.
“So who are ‘we’?” you asked as Dean pushed the door open for you.
“Me and my brother,” Dean smiled at you.
“The brother whose great idea it was to go to that restaurant with a name I can’t pronounce,” you laughed, and Dean chuckled.
“That would be the one. Come on.” Dean grabbed your hand and dragged you across the place until you reached a rollerblading rink. “I told you we were gonna have some fun.”
Your eyes opened wide, and you looked down your dress. “Dean I can’t.”
“Why not?” Dean smiled at you, clearly understanding your situation, just not willing to accept it.
“Dean I can’t move in this thing…” You motioned up and down your dress, but Dean just pulled out two sets of skates from the rack, leaving some money in an abandoned box on its side.
“Who says you have too?” Dean winked at you, and you sighed, giving in and taking the skates from his hand since he clearly wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“How did you?” You looked from the skates too him surprised to see that they were the right size. He just raised his brows and grinned at you while he sat down, kicking of his shoes and pulling of his tie, unbuttoning the top few buttons on his shirt.
“I’m observant.”
“I bet,” you mumbled as you sat down next to him, kicking off your heels.
A few minutes later, you found yourself in the rink with Dean’s hands firmly placed on your hips as he skated you around the place. He told you childhood stories of him and Sam getting locking in here and them wandering around the place for two hours before they found a phone to call home and their dad had come down with his uncle Bobby to lock them out.
“We were grounded for like a week,” Dean laughed into your ear. His laughter was infectious, and the touch of his hands made a comfortable warmth spread through your body. Being with him was so easy. You never felt like you had to try and be someone you weren’t. You liked the way he made you laugh and the way he looked at you like you were the only other person in even a crowded room.
“Be my eyes.” Dean sent you a warm smile that almost made you dizzy enough to lose focus as he shifted in front of you skating backwards with his eyes glued to you, his hands still on your hips and your hands on his strong arms.
He turned avoiding the barriers and other guests, following your directions to a t, trusting you completely until he all of a sudden sped up making you squeal and yell at him to stop before he hit the barrier. He didn’t instead he wrapped one arm around your waist and spun around making you close your eyes, preparing for the impact that never came.
You slowly opened them, and all you saw was green. Dean was inches away from you with one arm wrapped around you and the other resting on the barrier behind you.
He was so close you could feel his hot breath against your lips, and your heart skipped a beat. He slowly leaned closer, giving you time to stop him if you wanted to, but you didn’t. Instead you tilted your head a little, giving him better access, and then his lips was on yours.
The kiss was slow and tender, nothing but lips at first. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers ran through his short hair, drawing him closer, and Dean got your point.
He gently ran his tongue over your lower lip, silently asking for access, which you immediately granted. The world disappeared around you, and there was nothing but Dean and the way he kissed you. Letting his tongue dance with yours, he slowly explored your mouth as he held your body close to his.
You were dizzy, out of breath, and pretty much incapable of thinking straight when he finally pulled away a little. “Are you hungry?”
“What?” you understood his words, but it was like they weren’t really sinking in. Dean smiled cheekily at your confusion.
“Come on.” He gently tugged you back in front of him so he could skate you back out of the rink, and a few minutes later, you found yourself at a small burger joint at the far back corner of the arcade.
“RUFUS”!” Dean called through the kitchen door as he dragged you with him into the small room.
“Who the hell are screaming like…” An older man appeared but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Dean grinning at him through the door, and his anger turned into a big smile. “I should have known it was a Winchester making all that noise.”
Both men laughed and gave each other a warm hug. “It has been a while Dean. How are you boy?”
“Good. Great actually.” Dean turned, placing his arm around your waist, pulling you forward with him. “Rufus meet Y/N. Y/N this is Rufus. He is an old retired cop too. He worked with my dad and Bobby when I was a kid.”
“Did you just call me old?” Rufus raised a finger at Dean who just shrugged in return and sent the man a cheeky grin, making you laugh as Rufus shook your hand. “Careful around this one Y/N. He gets into more trouble than what is good for him.”
You laughed and winked at Rufus. “I like a little trouble, So I’ll be fine.”
Rufus laughed, “She doesn’t scare easy. Hold on to her Dean.”
“Oh I plan too.” Dean smiled down at you, and you felt the butterflies rapidly return to your stomach as you stared into his eyes.
“Two cheeseburgers and two chocolate milkshakes?” Rufus asked over his shoulder, and Dean sent you a questioning look. You still didn’t have your voice fully under control, so you just nodded, leaving Dean to shout a confirmation after Rufus.
You spend the rest of the night in the back of the burger joint, laughing and getting to know each other better.
Dean explained that Bobby really wasn’t his uncle but his dad’s old partner. He told you that he was family, so he and Sam had always called him that. He told you that his mom was a nurse, but she and his dad and Bobby had all stopped working to help Sonny out with the youth center a few years ago. That was their lives now.
You told him about your sister, Jo, and her boyfriend, Ash, who were both teachers just like you mom, Ellen. You told him how your dad had been in the army, so you had moved around a lot up until he died when you were 8 and Jo was 6.
Dean had taken your hand as you spoke of him, and his touch had made the memories easier somehow.
Finally, Dean had distracted you, making you laugh by telling you yet another mischievous childhood story of him and his 4 year younger brother, Sam.
“You and Sam? You’re close?” you asked as he absently drew patterns on the back of your hand with his thumb.
“Yeah. We always were. I mean we don’t get to see each other as much as we used too with our work schedules, but yeah, we’re close. He is my best friend.” Dean smiled at you, and you smiled back.
“I would love to meet him one day.”
“How does tomorrow sound?” Dean smiled at you, and your jaw dropped.
“Hey you don’t have to say yes if…”
“No no. It’s not that that… It’s just, you really want him to meet me? I mean we…” you searched for words, but Dean just squeezed your hand.
“Yes, I do. Look I am having dinner at his place tomorrow with him and his girlfriend. I would like you to be there, but if it is too soon, I get it. You can say no.”
“No.., I mean yes.” You laughed at his confused expression. “I would love to meet your brother Dean.”
“Yeah?” Dean lit up, and you leaned across the table, gently pressing your lips against his before leaning back in your seat, enjoying the surprised smile on his face. “Yes Dean.”
Please reblog; help me spread my work - Leave a comment. Feedback is fuel
Dean Tag Team
@mizzzpink @emoryhemsworth @not-moose-one-shots @roxyspearing @blacktithe7 @atc74 @mogaruke @mysupernaturalfics @fatalcrossbow @mrswhozeewhatsis  @crushing83 @arryn-nyxx @superapplepie @salvachester @docharleythegeekqueen @ruined-by-destiel @blushingdean  @winchasterdean @peaceloveancolor @theoriginalvicki @feelmyroarrrr  @shamelesslydean @katymacsupernatural @jensen-gal @mysterious-398  @ericaprice2008 @adriellej @ashleydivine @waywardmoeyy  @canadianjelly @percywinchester27 @featherleaf12 @percussiongirl2017 @sis-tafics @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester   @ruprecht0420 @jayankles @torn-and-frayed @its-not-a-tulpa  @spn-fan-girl-173 @ryantherandomhero @lupine-princess @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sylverminx @kathaswings @becs-bunker @mery-magizoologist @sandlee44  @sillesworldofwriting    @bebravekeeponfighting @smoothdogsgirl  @winchester-writes @amotleyworld @winchester-wannabe99  @keepcalmandbeajunkie @19agbrown  @evansrogerskitten @wayward-and-worn @impalaimagining @babyismyspiritanimal @caitthejourno @love-kittykat21 @thelittleredwhocould @destielsangelss  @there-must-be-a-lock  @born-to-be-his-baby88 @carryonmyswansong @super100012 @khelmatic @imanunbrokenfangirl @jadalecki-jackles @cassieraider @curedean @iwantthedean @aubreystilinski @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @kristendanwayne @akshi8278 @sleep4eternity @ambermei  @jackasaurus-strax @whimsicalrobots @rebeccathefangirl @read-the-reid @grace-for-sale @tia58
TTB Tag Team (A Dean x Reader AU Series)
@grace-for-sale @superflurry  @miah7hant @oneshoeshort @two-feet-of-topsoil @laurenisnot @angelsandwinchesters @mina22  @earthtokace @korrababy @daughterleftbehind @justdrankaliquorstore @gloria1097 @Falloutofmymemez @http-natiii @msdooos @rhapsody-in-flannel @daddy-kink-confirmed @troubletrumble @the-runaway-fangirl @tia58 @music-saved-my-life-many-times @ambeazyyy @ale-moe @castianityislife02  @imascio08 @samanthasmileys @lilyoflorien
309 notes · View notes
cycat4077 · 3 years
Text
Proposing Permission
Summary: You and Sonny have been together for a year but your idea of celebrating is slightly different than his. Set during S18 - roughly November 2016. Pairing: Sonny x Reader Warnings: None, except fluff...and maybe suggestive hints here and there ;) Words: 2479 AO3 here
Technically part 13 in the Changes verse, but can act as a stand-alone, too!
Tumblr media
“Mom!” you exclaim as soon as you hear her ‘hello?’ on the end of the line. “You'll never guess what just happened! – Wait, how'd you know? – He did? Of course, he did!” you laugh happily, flashing a bright smile up at Sonny who sits beside you on the sofa.
Sonny would give you the abridged version of the events that led up to this moment later, but at the time, things went a little like this:
-x-
“Uh, Carisi? Where are we going? The turn-off for the I-87 South, is that-a-way…” Amanda turns her body towards the traffic junction that passes by. She then whips back around to stare at her partner in the diver’s seat, a disgruntled look on her face.
“I need ta make a detour,” he states, eyes never leaving the highway.
“But we’re on a case!” she protests, growing irritated.
“Yeah, but we did what we came upstate to do. Got some answers, relayed them to Lieu. Technically, we’re off duty right now.” Sonny taps the wheel with his thumbs, trying to avoid his partner's gaze.
But Amanda Rollins is not one to concede so easily. “Tell me where we’re going, Dominick,” she drops her voice to a stern tone, eyes boring into the side of Sonny’s head.
Sonny lets out a nervous breath and says your name. “Remember how her parents live upstate? Well…” he reaches into the breast pocket of his suit jacket, producing a velvet box. Amanda gasps and nabs it from his grasp. She flips the little box open, finding a ring. “I wanna propose,” admits Sonny, “but I wanna ask her folks first.”
Dragging her eyes away from the box, Rollins frowns. “It’s twenty-sixteen, Sonny…you don’t need parental permission anymore.”
“I know, I know,” dismisses Sonny. “But that’s how my pa did it, and, she’s really close with her parents. It seems right to ask ‘em first.”
Amanda smiles in spite of herself. The gesture is very much a ‘Sonny Carisi’ thing to do. So, she cracks a joke instead. “What’re you gonna do? Salute her dad and say: ‘Requesting permission to marry your daughter, sir!’”
“Rawllins,” he groans, trying to act annoyed while keeping his eyes on the road.
“Do what you gotta do, partner,” she winks before turning her attention back to the box. “This ring is gorgeous!”
-x-
The drive was absolutely beautiful. Being October, the further away from concrete Sonny and Amanda drove, the denser the colourful forests became. It was picture perfect and Sonny’s only wish was that you could have been along to see it too.
Pulling up to your childhood home, Sonny leaves Amanda in the passenger’s seat. Afterall, this detour had to be relatively quick to prevent Lieu from breathing down his neck about it.
As Sonny makes his way to the door, his legs are a little wobbly and his pulse is racing. He has met your parents before and they adore him, yet, as he waits for his knock to be answered, his nerves get the better of him. This is a huge step and he hopes that they believe him worthy of it.
Then the door clicks open to reveal your mother. “Sonny!” she exclaims happily, but immediately her face falls. “Is everything okay?” In hindsight, an unannounced, unaccompanied visit does seem a little concerning.
Clueing in, Sonny immediate puts your mother at ease. “Yeah, yeah!” he reassures with a smile. “Work brought me upstate and I, uh, I wanted ta ask y’both somethin’ while I was up here.”
“Of course, of course!” Your mother ushers Sonny into the house before giving him a giant hug. Just as she releases him your father walks into the room, coming over with a large smile and firm handshake.
“Sir,” greets Sonny with a nod.
The three of them then take a seat at the dining room table; your mother unsurprisingly offers Sonny everything in her fridge. Once satisfied that he’s not lying about not being hungry, she continues. “So, son, what’s on your mind?”
The Italian swallows nervously. He looks to his fingers, thrumming them on the table top while his right knee bounces anxiously. Finally, he begins to speak: “Well, as you know, your daughter and I have been together for a while now and, we love each other very much. I love her very much.” A grin begins to break out on your mom’s face, her intuition giving her a good idea of where the conversation is headed. “And I, uh,” continues Sonny, “well, it seemed only right for me ta ask the two of you first. I w-wanna ask her ta marry me.”
Suspicions confirmed, your mother squeals with delight, grabbing onto your father’s arm and giving it a loving squeeze.
“I got a ring already and everything, if ya wanna see it,” Sonny adds quickly as if it will reenforce how committed he is to you. He pulls out the box once more and hands it over to your mom.
“Oh, Sonny,” she sighs looking up to your boyfriend. “She’s going to absolutely love it.”
“So, I, uh, have both your blessings then?” His blue eyes dart nervously back and forth between your parents.
Finally, your dad chimes in. “Of course!” he exclaims happily, his voice choking up ever so slightly. “You’re a good man and I couldn’t imagine my girl with anyone else.”
Sonny’s stomach does a somersault as he is immediately flooded with relief. “Thank ya!” he leaps to his feet. Your parents stand with him, both delivering their future son-in-law a squeezing hug. Parting, Sonny reluctantly explains that he can’t stay and that he must be getting back to the city.
“Alright, hon,” your mother coos. “Let us know what happens. Your secret is safe with us for now, but we’ll be waiting anxiously by the phone for the happy news!”
“Will do,” beams Sonny before he heads back to the squad car. Your parents wave him goodbye until he’s out of sight.
-x-
It’s your anniversary! One complete year of you and Sonny (finally) getting together! But…the universe really didn’t care about that. Nope! Because a faculty meeting was called on the one day where you didn’t have classes to teach. It ran from midday and into the evening and there was no possible way of getting out of it either. You loved your job, you really did, but today was supposed to be for you and Sonny. Nothing fancy, of course, but you had planned a lazy morning, followed up with cooking together and turning it into a romantic evening celebration.
“Uhhggghhh!” you groan, hanging your head and slouching your shoulders.
Sonny places his warm hands on your arms, grinning. “It’s alright, sweetheart.” You can feel those blue eyes shining down on you and, the next thing you know, a finger is gingerly tilting your chin up towards his. “I ain’t mad at all, okay? Shit happens. Jeez, how many times have I hadta cancel a date with you ‘cause I got called in or hadta work late?”
You bunch your mouth at the corner, frustrated. “I know, but it’s our anniversary and I was looking forward to spending all day with you!”
“So was I, but we can still make the most of it.” He kisses you on the nose. “I’ll go ahead ‘n make dinner and then when ya get home we can celebrate.”
“You sure? It was supposed to be a team effort. I can just grab some takeout on the way home –”
“Nonsense,” Sonny grins. “Besides, my cookin’ is way better than any takeout in the city.” His words make you laugh. “There’s that beautiful smile,” he beams, sweeping the hair back from your eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, doll. Now, go on before you’re late ‘n try not ta fall asleep.”
You give Sonny a sweet kiss and make your way to the door. Before exiting, you flash a sultry look over your shoulder at your smiling boyfriend. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later, babe. It’s just a shame you have to wait so long to see what’s underneath this dress.” You slip out the door before you’re able to see the sign of the cross Sonny makes in attempt to absolve himself of his sinful thoughts.
-x-
The journey back home never felt so exhausting. Maybe it was the fact that the meeting seemed to drag on forever, especially when all you could think about was curling up next to Sonny. Your feet ached in your pumps and you cursed your wardrobe choice. Though, you were still new at the college and thus wanted to make a professional impression.
Once you finally reach your floor, a distinct cooking aroma floats down the hallway. Your stomach grumbles, knowing exactly which apartment is the origin and eager to taste what smells so delicious.
Opening your door, you are greeted by your wonderful boyfriend and his smiling eyes. He’s dressed up in a crisp shirt and slacks. “Welcome home, sweetheart and happy anniversary!”
You smile up at him and step into his outstretched arms. His attire seemed a bit formal, but you weren’t complaining. The way button up shirts hugged his arms and torso always made your face flush and heart beat a little faster. Those same arms also fit perfectly around you when he held you close.
As you begin to withdraw from his embrace however, you notice just how much Sonny is perspiring. “Babe, you alright?” Your brow knits with concern. “You’re sweating a bunch…”
Sonny quickly averts his gaze and turns towards the kitchen. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” he gives a dismissive wave. “The oven’s been on all day.”
You know him well enough to tell that something is not quite right and his half-hearted answer gives you reason to follow him and press the issue. But as you round the corner, you’re stopped dead in your tracks by an elaborate display.
Sonny has gone all out. A hearty meal sits steaming on a table set for two, a single rose in a crystal vase resides at the center, and he’s even arranged some of your candles to provide low lighting. The sight of it all leaves you feeling as though your heart will flutter right out of your chest.
"Sonny," you whisper, hand over your heart. "You didn't have to do all this." You then peer up at him with glassy eyes.
"I wanted tonight to be special. Just you ‘n me celebrating a whole magical year of being together.”
Closing the distance, you lean up and place your lips tenderly to his. Sonny bends forward, deepening the kiss. You run a hand tenderly up the front of his shirt feeling the contours of his muscles beneath your fingers. Sonny reaches to cover your hand with his, grasping it carefully and reluctantly pulling it away. Breaking apart, he smiles, "Food's gonna get cold, doll."
The two of you sit down to a quiet, romantic dinner, clinking glasses in a toast to your relationship. But Sonny still has beads of sweat forming along his brow. "Babe, are you sure you're alright?" you point to his forehead. "It's not that hot in here..."
He swallows thickly, looking away. "Yeah...I'm just a little nervous is all." Sonny then focuses on you with big, blue eyes.
Yours narrow in confusion. Nervous? Why would he be nervous? It just us here...
Sonny flashes you shy smile before reaching across the table to take your hand in his. He stares at it in contemplation as he runs his thumb lovingly over your knuckles.
Biting his lip, he shifts those gorgeous eyes back to yours. "We've been through a lot in a year, doll," he begins. "And last summer I never knew how my life would change when you walked through that squad room door. I never knew that I could love someone so completely until I fell in love with you. My whole heart is yours and -"
"Sonny!" you release a sweet laugh. "You don't owe me a speech! I know how much you love me, silly! And I hope you know how much I love you too."
Suddenly, Sonny seems a little terrified. Had he rehearsed this or something?
"Just hear me out, ‘kay?" he implores following a shaky breath.
You smile softly and squeeze his hand signaling for him to continue.
"Believe me, doll, I've never felt more loved by anyone but you. I love waking up with ya in the mornin' and fallin' asleep together at night. My heart skips a beat thinkin' about a future with you. So, I guess that's why I'm sweatin'."
All of a sudden the warmth of Sonny's hand disappears. He shifts to get up from the table, slipping his fingers into his pocket. Then you realize that he's getting down on one knee. Your heart begins to thunder in your chest and a gasp catches in your throat.
Sonny's eyes lock onto yours as he produces a velvet box and opens it. There sits a white gold ring topped by a dainty solitaire diamond. Your eyes immediately rim with tears as you hear Sonny softly speak your name. "Will you marry me?"
A large smile erupts upon your face and you instantly blurt out a "yes!"
Sonny's expression changes to one of pure love. He delicately slips the ring on your finger and quickly rises to capture your lips in a kiss.
You wrap your arms around his neck and he effortlessly scoops you up. "I'm so happy," you speak against his lips, eliciting a tight squeeze from your fiancé.
Fiancé! Sonny Carisi is your fiancé! The man you love with your whole heart. You've always believed that it isn’t the ring on their finger that make two people married – that’s at least how committed you feel towards Sonny – Yet now, you couldn’t be happier to make what you share official.
"I'm so happy too, doll! I love you! I love you! I love you!" Sonny reciprocates in between swift kisses to your cheeks, nose and lips. Then his eyes darken and he bows his head towards your neck, nibbling and suckling at the sensitive skin that resides there.
You sigh, a tingling sensation spreading throughout your body. God, is he good at this! But then, your mind comes back to reality and you gently, albeit reluctantly, push him away. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” you chant, tapping your hands lightly on his chest.
Sonny pulls back but his eyes still hungrily flicker to where his lips were focused mere moments before.
“I have to go call my mom! She’d kill me if she knew I didn’t tell her right away.” You watch as Sonny smirks. “But then I promise we’ll celebrate properly…after all, you still haven’t seen what’s underneath this dress.”
-x- 
Fluffy enough for ya? Heehee
Tag list?  @barbasbodaciousbeard @teamsladsandgents @adarafaelbarba @caracalwithchips @averyhotchner (let me know if you want to be added/removed)
86 notes · View notes
hawkland · 7 years
Text
The Best Gift (Rollisi fic)
So, I actually wrote the following fic for the Rare Pair Exchange a few weeks ago. But author reveals just happened today, so I decided to share it here for Amanda Rollins week, in @svucharacterappreciation
It’s my first time writing Rollisi and I had a lot of fun doing so! (Maybe I’ll do it again?) G-rated, about 1700 words. Crossposted from my AO3 account (where you can find the rest of my SVU fic.)
Tumblr media
“You don’t have to stay and help, Carisi.”
“It’s no problem,” Sonny assured Amanda, as he picked up another errant plastic cup and tossed it in the trash. “See, in my house, growing up? My mom always used to throw these huge birthday parties for us kids. Everyone in the family would be there, all the cousins and aunts and uncles. Seemed like half the kids on Staten Island, too. She’d be up all night before the party cooking and baking, and then she wouldn’t go to bed after the party until every room was pristine clean again. The rugs had to be vacuumed, the kitchen floor swept, every dish washed and hand-dried.” He paused, bending over to retrieve a streamer that had somehow gotten wrapped around the dining room table leg. “But she wouldn’t let anyone help her, either, because she had her way of doing things—the only right way. It was just how she was.”
Amanda snorted and kicked a chair back in place, her hands full of gift bags to be sorted through tomorrow. “Well, as you should be able to tell by now, I’m not nearly so fastidious.”
“No one was—short of my mother’s mother, my nonna Marie. But I always felt bad seeing my mom exhausted by all that work. So trust me, you don’t need to do everything here yourself.”
“You’re right about that. And I definitely won’t refuse help offered willingly,” Amanda said with a smile, one that Sonny beamed right back at her.
All the other guests who’d shown up for Jesse’s first birthday party had left some time ago. Fin had dragged Munch off the premises first, the two of them arguing about current political events—as usual. Olivia had said goodnight when Noah started getting cranky and restless, perhaps not pleased that he wasn’t the center of all the adults’ attention for once. Melinda and her husband had stayed a while longer, happy for the relaxing evening out with friends—and sharing stories of how nice it was once the kids had grown up enough to leave the house for college.
“It’ll be a lot of years until I know how that feels,” Amanda had said, “but I’m in no hurry to rush through these early years.”
“Don’t be,” Melinda had assured her. “You’ll be reminiscing about them from the day she starts talking back at you.”
Amanda had also invited a few other young moms from the prenatal yoga class she had attended before Jesse’s birth. They’d stayed in touch because it was nice to have other mothers—most of them single moms themselves—to talk to, vent at, and lean on as necessary. And Amanda had been happy to see how their little ones were growing so fast...much like Jesse herself.
Jesse, who surely had no idea why so many people had been in their home, making all this noise and fuss over her. She was now fast asleep in her crib, and Amanda was getting close to the point where she’d love to simply crawl into her own bed, too.
But she didn’t mind Sonny lingering behind. She wasn’t a neat freak, but it could be depressing to wake up the morning after a big party and have nothing but a huge mess to clean up.
Wake up by herself, to the quietude of an otherwise empty apartment, save her dog and the baby she hadn’t planned for, nor expected.
“I’ll take these out to the trash chute,” Sonny said, hefting three plastic bags up over his shoulder as if he were Santa Claus.
“Thanks,” she replied distractedly as he headed for the door, throwing the deadbolt so it wouldn’t lock behind him. Sonny knew where the trash room was; he’d come over to make and share dinner enough evenings. In fact it had almost started to become routine, once every few weeks when they had the time. Dinner, catching up on the latest reality shows piled up on her DVR, talk about their various ongoing family dramas...
Talk about anything other than work.
Or the possibilities that were right there in front of them both.
It was nice. Sonny was nice, she thought as she settled down on her sofa with a wistful, tired sigh. She’d been seriously skeptical about him at first, but he’d grown a lot since he’d first landed at Manhattan SVU. Or maybe...maybe with time she had become more able, and willing, to see who he had been from the start.
Because Sonny was always there for her, in ways that few other men ever had been. And that’s why she was determined not to do anything to fuck that up.
She’d made more than her share of mistakes with men in the past, including—on more than one occasion, she had to admit—men she had to work with. At least her “mistake” with Declan had ended up giving her Jesse, who was now the best part of her life...but.
Still.
Sonny.
Sonny was a man who would stick around, unlike Declan. She knew that. And Sonny wasn’t carrying tons of baggage with a separated wife and multiple kids, like Nick had been.
Damn it, Amanda. A good guy—maybe the right guy—finally comes along and now you’re gun-shy. Don’t want to be the girl who ends up sleeping with every available man at the office. And yet, with Sonny she had the feeling it would be about a lot more than just sex. They’d had all this time to get to know each other, to become friends first. That would make things different, and better, right?
“Amanda, did you hear me?”
“I’m sorry, what?” she said, jumping as he startled her out of those thoughts. Sonny had returned from trash duty and was now standing before her, looking concerned.
“I asked if you wanted to save what was left of the meatballs and sausage in the crockpot? I just need a container for it.”
“Uh, yeah, sure. There should be some clean tupperware in the cabinet above the sink.”
“OK, will do. There’s easily enough for two lunches yet in there.”
“You can take it home if you want.”
“I won’t say no to that.” He turned to head to the kitchen, but then paused to ask, “You okay?”
“Me? Of course! I mean...why?”
“You...you looked kind of sad when I came back in.”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing. Just the post-party blahs, I suppose.”
“Being ‘on’ and entertaining for hours. I get that. It can be pretty draining.” He sat down next to her. “You sure that’s it, though?”
She bit her lip. Did she really want to have this conversation?
Right now?
Ever?
Or was she being stubborn and unfair to both of them, to keep denying what was there between them? “Sonny, you ever think about...I mean if I am projecting and off-base here please tell me to shut up and that’s fine and forget I ever even asked, but...”
“About us?” he interrupted.
“Uh...yeah. I mean...we hang out after work, you’ve tried giving me cooking lessons, you like being here with Jesse...”
“And Frannie!” he put in with enthusiasm, causing Amanda to laugh. The poor pup had gone into hiding from all the noise and activity and was still sulking in her dog bed in the bedroom.
“Yeah, and of course Frannie, how could I forget my first baby-girl. I guess I can’t help but wonder, why you do all that instead of, I dunno...getting out there and trying to find someone to share time with who you don’t have to see every day at work already. Someone who isn’t all tangled up in this line of work and all the stress we have to deal with.”
“I could do that,” he agreed, nodding his head. “But...maybe I’m more interested in spending time with someone who knows what this job is all about, who can help me deal with it better myself. And because...well, I like you, Amanda. I like you a lot.”
“I like you too, Sonny,” she admitted, and it was true. Her attraction to him had been far from immediate. Yet as she’d come to appreciate his kindness and heart, she’d felt her own heart opening up to deeper feelings for him.
“But I know you’ve been through a lot and I didn’t want—I don’t want—to rush you into anything you aren’t sure about.”
“I appreciate that,” she said, allowing herself a small smile—one that grew as she saw Sonny flush a little and look away, endearing in his moment of shyness and vulnerability. And so when he looked back to meet her gaze, she took a chance on leaning in for a light kiss on his lips.
It was sweet, and tender...and cautious. Like Sonny. She pulled back and they sat quietly, awkwardly, for a few moments, sharing shy glances and a few nervous laughs. Then he looked to her with a serious expression, his eyes focused as one hand cupped her cheek, and drew her to him for a much more sensual kiss.
Oh, she could fall hard, and fast, if there were more kisses to be shared like this one. What other surprises might Sonny have for her, she wondered?
Before she could contemplate such things for very long he pulled away, giving her a dreamy if regret-tinged smile. “It’s getting on pretty late, I should head home.”
“You could...stay...if you want.”
“I could,” he agreed, reaching up to stroke her hair with a light touch. “But, I meant it about taking things slow. I don’t want to mess this up. You know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
He stood with a sigh, and so did Amanda, following him to the door. He lingered there for a moment, in the open doorway, and then suggested, “If nothin’ comes up this weekend, I can give you a call, we could do something together? I mean, something more than cooking dinner and watching Below Deck or Dancing with the Stars.”
“I’d like that. Good night, Sonny.”
“Good night, Amanda.” He seemed to be considering one last kiss, but then perhaps he knew if he went for it, he wouldn’t be going anywhere tonight. So instead he smiled and headed down the hall to the elevator, casting one last smile and wave in her direction as he did.
She returned both, then closed the door, locking it behind her. Still grinning, she looked at all those gifts for Jesse from her friends, and appreciated having them in her life.
But Sonny had given her the best gift of all tonight.
The gift of hope, and maybe one more chance at love.
36 notes · View notes
mrsrafaelbarba · 7 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Pairings: Barba/OC & Carisi/Rollins + Carisi/OC as BrOTP Written by @avenuepotter & myself (about half a year ago!) Summary: As Rafael Barba loses himself in his work, his wife Priti is unhappy because her best friend Sonny has also been spending less time with her recently. Could it be because his friendship with Amanda is more than it seems? Thank you to @svu-stories for beta’ing parts of this monster-piece. The rest was self beta’d by us. All mistakes are ours!
Chapter 1
It had been three months since Priti and Sonny had last been bouldering, so she forces herself out of bed. It is an effort and a half, but she ignores the ache in the pit of her stomach and stumbles into the shower.
The steaming hot water is refreshing and motivating. I can't miss today, I can't back out now, not after all the complaining I did to get Sonny to agree to this, she thinks.
Priti closes her eyes and rubs her abdomen, willing away the gnawing sensation growing there.
Raf is too busy at work and is too tired to do anything. Olivia has her happy little family and would rather spend all her time with them. At least you've still got Sonny. He is your best friend, he actually wants to spend time with you . . . or else he just wants you to shut up for a while so he can go back to hanging out with Amanda.
She frowns at the thought and turns off the shower head, takes a deep breath, and pushes down the queasiness in her stomach. Flinging on some leggings and a t-shirt, she rushes out of the apartment and drives to the bouldering wall.
She suspects that there is more than to Sonny’s friendship with Amanda and today is the perfect time to interrogate him. She knows that he lets his guard down when he is puzzling over a complicated climbing route and is more likely to be forthcoming with personal details.
Priti feels that it would be great for Sonny to finally have someone special in his life, but she can't shake the unsettled feeling inside her. Is it jealousy? she asks herself. There is no time for an answer, because as soon as she climbs out of her car, she hears him bellowing her name across the street.
“Priti!” he shouts, waving. He sprints over towards her with the usual ‘big lug’ grin on his face.
Priti can't help but smile, how could you not? Sonny always has a way of making you feel special, which is why his absence has been tough. “You made it! Finally, you have some time for me!”
“I’ve always got time for you, Priti. What are you talking about?”
“Do you remember the last time we hung out?”
She doesn't even wait for an answer. Bitterly she says, “It's okay, even my own husband doesn't seem to have time for me these days - it's not like I'm expecting miracles.”
“Hey, woah there,” Sonny puts a steadying hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure that’s not true. How could he not want to spend time with you. Just look at you.”
He waves his hand from her head to her toes, which makes her smile and blush a little. “And me, how could I not want to spend time with you?”
Then he winks, trying to give her a hint about what’s going on with him. “Well .. you and Amanda -”
“See, you'd rather hang out with Amanda than with me.” Priti turns and walks into the building.
“Priti, it’s not like that, it’s - “ he chases after her, grabs her by the elbow, stops her, and turns her around. “Look, you know how you’ve always said you think it would be great if I found someone?”
“Yeah?” she crosses her arms, suddenly forgetting the pain in her belly.
“Well, Amanda and me  ...” he stutters a little and blushes. “Well we ...”
“You what?” Priti prompts, feigning ignorance. She has been feeling abandoned and believes that Sonny should be tortured… at least a little. And what better way is there than making him admit he had a thing for his partner?
He looks down and scratches his head. Why is this making him nervous? This is Priti - his best friend. This should be easy to admit to her, but somehow it isn’t.
“We, uh ... we’re kinda together now,” he whispers, talking to the floor and shuffling his feet. He nods his head a bit and adds, “you know.”
There he said it. She should be happy for him. He nervously looks up and meets her eyes.
“Sonny, that's great! Really wonderful.” She smiles at him, but it’s a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She isn't sure why it is suddenly so difficult.
He grins back at her, so relieved to have gotten this off of his chest that he doesn’t notice that she isn’t one hundred percent elated for him. It has been more than two months now. He isn’t one to keep secrets so he tells himself that it had just ‘never come up’ with Priti. But in reality it’s probably just because he has been avoiding her - instinctively knowing that a relationship with Amanda might bother her.
Priti had already ‘lost’ Liv to a baby and is trying to have one with Rafael, but so far that isn’t happening. So Sonny hadn’t been sure how she would take ‘losing’ her best friend to a woman with a child. But he is so happy to be able to finally talk with her about Amanda that he loses sight of his reservations in that moment.
“It really is great, huh? I mean Amanda, she ...” he stares off for a minute with a goofy grin, thinking of how much fun they would always seem to have together. How much fun all of them could have together someday, now that the cat was out of the bag.
Maybe this hadn't been a good idea after all, Priti thinks. I should have just stayed at home.
“Well, let's get cracking, Sonny, I thought we came here to climb!” she interrupts his silent reverie, brushes off her negative thoughts and sits down on the bench to put on her climbing shoes.
Sonny notices her tone and quickly comes back to the present. Oh shit. This was bothering her. His brow furrows as he watches her roughly pull on her shoes, tugging at them with a look of pain on her face. Snapping the velcro down tightly, gritting her teeth. This must really bother her - she looks like she is in physical pain.
“I’m sorry, Priti.” He knows her well enough to know he didn’t have to say any more. That she would catch his meaning without further elaboration.
"Sonny, I'm happy for you," she smiles a little sadly, but he knows the statement is genuine despite her expression.
"Come..." She pulls him up. Priti approaches the nearest wall and ascends to the top, then jumps down nimbly. The impact with the ground does nothing to improve the stitch that had moved to her right side.  She hides the flinch well, letting Sonny take his turn. She looks up, and the room lurches suddenly, tipping in a direction that is not physically possible. Priti closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and the room rights itself.
Sonny motions to Priti to try the next route. She tentatively takes a few steps up the wall. No pain, no vertigo. You can do this, she thinks to herself confidently, putting her foot on the next step, not noticing that the grip isn't quite stable.
What happens next is a blur for both Sonny and Priti. She doesn't even have time to shout, and before she knows what is happening, she is already on the floor. Sonny is at her side in an instant.
“Priti! Are you alright?” he yells, attracting the attention of fellow climbers.
Priti can only groan in response. She curls up into a ball holding her abdomen, searing pain shooting through her like a hot poker.
“What are you all just standing there for?” Sonny shouts angrily at those who are gawking. Yet within seconds his anger dissolves and he starts to panic. “Somebody call a bus!”
The full force of his anxious cry is directed at the scared looking teenager who is standing closest to him. In response, the teenager grips his cell phone tightly and creases his brows in consternation. He doesn’t understand.
Sonny shakes his head and briefly directs his attention back to Priti, who needs his comfort right now. He gently pushes her hair away from her face and rests his hand on her forehead, feeling an unexpected heat radiate into his palm.
“You’re burning up. Talk to me Halliwell, what's going on?” he pleads.
“Oh God, I think I'm gonna hurl,” Priti moans and rolls over onto her side.
Sonny rubs her back sympathetically. “I'm getting help, hang in there.”
He turns back to the frightened teenager and fixes him with a stern gaze.
“I am an NYPD Detective. This is a medical emergency and I need your phone immediately.” His tone is authoritative and final. The teenager hands over his cell without so much of a squawk of protest.
“This is Detective Sonny Carisi of Manhattan SVU, badge number zero, one, eight, eight. I need a bus to Steep Rock Bouldering, 1506 Lexington Ave. This is a medical emergency.”
“Sonny?” Priti’s voice is barely a whisper, but he is there by her side in an instant.
“What is it? I called a bus, hang in there, help will be here soon.”
“Sonny, I think it's my appendix … or else I’m pregnant and this is an ectopic ... but I doubt it.”
20 notes · View notes
h0ldthiscat · 7 years
Text
Rain Check
Written for the XF Missing Scene Challenge. Read it on AO3. Many thanks to @scienceandmysticism for wise counsel and superb feedback. u got me fam
Their footsteps scuff across the parking lot, nearly empty even though it’s only half past four. The Bureau isn’t the only government office where people like to duck out early on Fridays, Scully thinks. With the drive they have ahead of them in rush hour traffic, she’ll be lucky if she gets home before seven.
“Rain check?” Mulder asks as they head to the car. They’d taken his since they were only going into Maryland.
Scully sniffs and looks up from the case file they’d received inside from the Carroll County Police. “What?”
“Couple weeks ago, I decided to stay in New Jersey and you had to drive all the way back to DC by yourself.” He scratches his head. “You know, you drove up there to bail me out of jail?”
Scully finds herself trying to suppress a smile. “Yeah, I remember, Mulder.”
“I owe you a car ride in Friday night traffic. Can this be my rain check?”
“Sure,” she says absently, flipping back and forth between two police reports in the file.
It’s nearing rush hour and the November sky is growing dusky pink around the edges, making the clouds almost glow. They’ll be driving directly into the sun heading down the parkway, she thinks grumpily.
The heat in Mulder’s car dries her eyes out, so she flips the blower down. At least the floorboard is warm. It’s colder than she thought it would be today. She hasn’t pulled her warmest coat out of the bureau yet, but might have to soon. It’s supposed to frost tonight. Her mother called her this morning to remind her to leave her taps dripping tonight so the pipes don’t freeze.
God, when did she become so dull? Somewhere between med school and the Academy she’s become the kind of adult she’d always rolled her eyes at as a child: the kind who has strong opinions on the five day forecast and the quickest route to get to work.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Mulder says from the driver’s seat. He cracks something between his teeth.
“What is that?” she asks.
“Sunflower seeds, want one?” He pulls a bag from the cup holder on his door.
“No thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” Mulder flips on the radio with a flourish of his long fingers and fiddles around for a moment until he settles on something Scully hasn’t heard before. She tries to peek at the file in her lap again but starts to get a headache.
“I’ll up the ante and offer you a nickel,” Mulder says after a few minutes. He flicks on the headlights.
“Hm?”
“I offered you a penny for your thoughts but you weren’t biting, so I’ll up it to a nickel if you spill the beans.” His normally monotone voice slips into a caricature of an old New York cop and he talks out the side of his mouth.
Scully cracks a smile. “See here, sonny,” she plays along, “I ain’t tellin’ nothin’ to nobody!”
Mulder laughs out loud, a raucous boom that makes her jump and then giggle at her own silliness. She doesn’t know if she’s heard him laugh like this before. They’ve only been working together for two months, but time spent with Mulder feels a bit like dog years. When she leaves the office at the end of the day she feels as if she’s worked a whole week, filled her brain with more monsters and cryptids than she’d even known existed. And then she goes home to her little apartment, makes a filling but bland meal, takes a shower, goes to sleep, and does the whole thing again the next day and the next.
“I was just thinking,” she admits finally, “about how boring I’ve become.”
“Are you joking?” Mulder asks. He merges into a lane of cars following signs for 32 East. “What about all those dates and birthday parties you’re expected at?”
Scully smirks and bites the inside of her cheek. “Work is--difficult to talk about with people.”
“I get that.” Mulder nods. He’s drumming out something on the steering wheel. It takes Scully a moment to realize he’s playing along with the song on the radio, another one she hasn’t heard. He continues, “I come from a long line of WASPs, though, so I’m used to it.”
Scully smiles. “Me too. Although--is there a word for WASPs who are Catholic?”
“Irish?” Mulder tries, pointing at her hair.
“Mostly German, actually.” Scully feathers a hand through her hair, suddenly self-conscious.
“Oh ho ho. The redheaded genes snuck through somehow?”
Mulder, she has noticed, is the kind of person who doesn’t back down when he’s made someone uncomfortable. It is maddening. It is refreshing.
“Well it’s a recessive trait--” She stops herself. This isn’t a presentation, Dana. Nobody wants to see your scrap paper with Punnett Squares. But when she looks at Mulder she sees he’s studying her intently, listening. He’s just as big of a geek, she supposes. Just about different things.
“Nevermind,” she says anyway.
“No, seriously. What is it, something like two percent of the human population?” He cracks another seed. “I’m dying to know how the Scully clan managed to pass down one of the rarest traits in the Human Genome.”
He’s genuine, which is so unusual in Washington, or anywhere, really. It still catches her off guard. She takes a breath, then says, “That’s just it, neither my mother nor my father have red hair, so both of them must carry the recessive gene.”
He gives a nod of remembrance “Are you the only one with red hair in your family? Does your brother--you have a brother, right, Scully?”
She nods. “I have two. And a sister.”
“That’s almost half a baseball team.”
“Trust me, I’ve heard all the shortstop jokes you can think of,” she jokes, and Mulder laughs again, big and booming.
“Where do you fall in the lineup?” he asks her.
“Third.” She ticks off her fingers. “Bill, Missy, me, and Charlie.”
“All redheads?”
“Just the girls.”
“Christmas photos must have been a nightmare.”
Scully laughs and says ominously, “We do not speak of such things.” This time when he pops another sunflower seed in his mouth she holds out her hand and he gives her a few.
After she cracks the first one she asks, “What about you? It’s just you and your si--”
Instantly, Scully starts to sweat. When she speaks her words are garbled around the shell in her mouth. “Sorry, I just meant--you don’t have any other--God, sorry.”
Mulder smiles. “It’s okay, Scully, really.” He cracks a seed. “Yeah, it was just me and Samantha.”
The car falls silent. Scully recognizes the song on the radio this time. She is about to ask who sings it when Mulder says, “Neither of us are redheads though.”
Scully stammers, “What?”
“Me and Samantha,” he clarifies. “Neither of us are redheads.”
“Oh.” She manages a nervous titter when she realizes he’s making a joke. It’s kind of him, after her clumsy faux pas. He’s a very kind person, she decides. It would be so easy for him to be hard and cynical but somehow he’s the opposite.
“I was, however, one of those babies who was born blonde and then grew up to have dark hair,” he continues.
“I’d be interested to see the statistics about redheaded babies who mysteriously grow up to blend in with the other 98% of the population,” Scully says, raising her eyebrows. “Sounds like an x-file to me.”
“There’s actually a creature called a changeling mentioned in the folklore of many ancient cultures, although the Celts are usually credited with its creation,” Mulder says excitedly. “Parents believed a baby prone to sickness or colic must actually be a changeling, brought by the fairies and--”
“Switched with the real baby when no one was looking,” Scully finishes.
“Someone’s brushed up on their cryptids.” He seems proud.
“We used to tell Charlie he was a changeling,” she explains. “My aunt was a big storyteller, she unknowingly gave us a lot of fodder for harmless torture amongst siblings.”
“I always wanted a big family. As a kid,” he amends. “Both my parents were only children.”
“The grass is always greener,” she offers. “I’ve got more cousins than I can count, and now they’ve all got kids. It’s a lot to keep up with.”
“Nieces and nephews?”
“Nope, but Bill just got married, so he and his wife will probably start trying soon.”
They fall into a comfortable silence and Scully tries not to focus on the mile markers alongside the road. They blur and smear, green beacons guiding them to the parkway as they coast through the beginning of traffic. Left to her own devices Scully can’t help but think of the impending holidays; three weeks until Thanksgiving, seven until Christmas, eight until New Years… she feels nauseous all of sudden and rolls down her window.
“I can turn down the heat,” Mulder offers, fiddling with something. His car is surprisingly neat, the dashboard free of dust, the floorboards clean save for a scattering of seed shells. His fingers pause a moment over the temperature knob, as if it’s been so long since he’s driven his own car that he has to reacquaint himself with its functions.
Scully waves a hand at him before he can make an adjustment. “No, it’s fine, I’m just feeling a little sick, that’s all.”
“We can pull off here and get something to eat.”
Scully lifts her hand to stop him, but then looks ahead at the oncoming sea of brake lights headed for the parkway and acquiesces. Mulder pulls into the parking lot of a 7-11 and declares, “It’s been years since I’ve had a footlong weiner.”
Coming from anyone else she would have tsked her disapproval, but there is something so non-threatening about the way Mulder says it that she almost giggles. A young girl with dark eyeliner whose nametag says Ashlynn rings them up for two hot dogs and two Diet Cokes. Outside, the wind whips Scully’s hair into her mouth as she struggles to open the mustard packet on the back of Mulder’s car. After an aggressive tug the slippery plastic finally gives way, her thumb slips, and she squirts mustard on the sleeve of her coat.
“Awww,” Mulder sympathizes through a mouthful of hot dog.
Scully swears and dabs at the blob with a napkin, hoping that it won’t stain. She’d just gotten this coat, too. They eat their hot dogs in silence, trying not to chew with their mouths open. Scully feels her headache slowly dissipating. Things become clearer around the edges. It is one of those acute Maryland evenings right before winter, with air just cold enough to remind you you’re alive, but this beats another night on her couch. Tomorrow she will go for a run, wake up as early as she can and make herself keep going until every breath is sharp as glass and her legs feel like jello.
“There’s something I want you to have,” Mulder says suddenly, fishing through his pocket next to her.
“Oh?”
“You gave me yours ages ago and I finally got around to returning the favor.” He pulls out an angular brass key and places it in the palm of her hand. “Apartment 42. It’s down at the end.”
“Oh, thank you.” It’s heavier than she expects, which is strange. All house keys weigh the same, she thinks. She pulls out her own keys and jams her nail in between the cheap metal rings, trying to make space for the surprisingly thick addition.
“Technically you didn’t give yours to me so much as I found it,” Mulder says. He takes a sip of his soda.
“Sitting on the desk,” she remembers. “That was my spare.”
“Well it’s lucky I’m a nosy bastard and scooped it up.”
Lucky indeed. Scully shivers at the thought of Tooms in her house, snaking along the floor. To somehow not be safe even with all your windows and doors locked was unnerving to say the least. She’d slept at a friend’s for two nights after that. She’d never told Mulder. She’d never really thanked him, either.
“Thank you,” she says, then takes a sip of her Diet Coke. “For stealing my spare key and for coming that night. I don’t, ah, I don’t know what I would have--”
“You would have been fine,” Mulder assures her, but she doesn’t believe him. She believes that he believes himself, though, and that is sort of reassuring. She burrows further into the popped collar of her coat. Mulder doesn’t look cold at all. He doesn’t have gloves or a hat. She tries to picture Mulder in a hat and chuckles.
“What?” he asks.
“Just picturing you in one of those-- sheepskin hats with the ear flaps.” She mimes pulling the ear flaps down and tying them under her chin.
Mulder laughs. “Just ball caps for me, that’s all that’ll fit on this noggin.”
“Too many cases in there,” Scully says. In a gesture of unprecedented familiarity, she tousles his hair. She can’t quite reach the top of his head, of course, but she gets the side nice and messy. The pad of her thumb accidentally grazes his earlobe on the way down.
“Probably,” he agrees good-naturedly, shrugging a shoulder and flattening his hair back down. Scully fears for a moment that she has grossly overstepped the line, and then he says, “Should we get back?”
It’s not a statement, we should get back, the awkward conversation-ender. It’s a question. He genuinely wants her opinion. On this and, seemingly, all things.
“You’re a good partner, Mulder,” she says quietly. Her eyes water, stinging from the wind. Before she can stop herself, she adopts that goofy voice again, the old school New York copper. “Ya got gumption and spirit, kid.”
“So do you,” Mulder replies, completely serious. And then in the next instant he is playing along, miming a cigar and grumbling, “We gotta make like a banana and split.”
They hurry to get into the car, cheeks raw, lips pebbly and dry. The 7-11 drinks barely squeeze into Mulder’s cupholders. The bases fit, but the cups lean out at an angle, too wide at the top to sit evenly. This town ain’t big enough for the both of us, Scully thinks. She pictures herself and Mulder in denim and horsehide, two no-nonsense sheriffs keeping a small prairie town in line, protecting its inhabitants from dust devils and flesh-eating locusts. Her hair is long and she has a braid. She thinks about growing it out as the car picks up speed and the parkway stretches out before them, a black ribbon dotted with red and yellow lights.
180 notes · View notes
cycat4077 · 3 years
Text
Reunited
Summary: You reconnect with an old college friend only to find that your past comes back to haunt you. Set during summer 2016 (S17). Pairing: Sonny x Reader Warnings: Mild cussing, some angst, some feelings and dialogue (sorry) Words: 3247 AO3 here
Part 8 of the Changes verse. Masterlist here if you're interested :) (Could probably read as a stand alone fic if you’re not into series.)
A/N: I really wanted to give my main character a friend and ‘Sydney’ popped into my brain. Also, do y'all remember back in 2015 when Sonny said he had an ex at the LAPD? Yeah, me too. So I took the liberty of using it :P Sorry this fic is kind of meh (On a separate note, the pic doesn’t necessarily mean the reader is blonde. I just thought a Sonny hug would be fitting!)
Tumblr media
"Sydney?" you question, walking slowly up to the blonde who stands collecting her order at the campus coffee shop.
Immediately she spins on her heels and her face lights up with recognition. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaims, raising her arms to embrace you.
You and Sydney had graduated together from the master’s of education program; she, with a background in English lit and you, in biology. Despite being from different disciplines, you often worked on projects together and used your contrasting perspectives to bounce ideas between brains. As a result, Sydney became a close friend. But, as too often happens when people part ways, life whizzed by quicker than the two of you could stay in touch.
Now however, as you set foot on your new campus for a summer orientation workshop, you are thrilled to see a friendly and familiar face.
"What are you doin’ here, girl?!" she asks with the same enthusiastic energy you remember her for.
"New job!" you reply cheerfully.
"Ahh! That's awesome!" she squeals. "It'll be like old times! I've been in the English department for a few years now and I just love it."
You smile fondly. "I always knew you'd move back here.”
"Yup! You can take the girl outta the city…and all that stuff,” Sydney sweeps her silky locks behind her ear, “but I am surprised to see ‘little miss rural’ out this way!"
You raise your hands and shrug. "Me too! Though, opportunity knocked and I couldn't turn it down. Actually, this is my second teaching gig in Manhattan. I won't name names, but I got booted from my last one when a prof crawled out of retirement." You frown towards the ground, the wound still fresh.
"Bastards," Sydney mumbles under her breath. "That musta been rough, but I'm glad you're on the rebound." She offers you a hopeful smile. "You liking NYC then, since you ended up sticking around?" "It's alright. Different,” you admit. “I just moved in with my boyfriend though and he's slowly but surely converting me."
Sydney lets out another delighted squeal. During your college days she was always trying to get you to date. You told her about your past and she swore to avenge you. Unfortunately, her best efforts involved dragging you to parties and other social events where ultimately you ended up preventing her from making the bad decisions. Still, she cared about you and her genuine excitement over your relationship success makes you realize just how much you had missed her.
"I'm so happy for you! Is he cute? Is he smart? Does he work on campus?" She stretches her neck to look behind you as if Sonny is tucked away nearby.
You chuckle. "Nuh-no. He's an SVU detective. That's how we met actually." Her face falls with worry and you quickly elaborate. "I took a summer job there last year and we just clicked. He's really great." You smile proudly, stopping yourself from bragging Sonny too much.
"Aw, hon, I'm so excited for you!"
"Thanks! Hey, are you still with Geoff?"
"Hell no!" she fires quickly. "Caught that ess-oh-bee sneaking around behind my back so I kicked his ass to the curb. But it’s fine. I'm enjoying the single life and New York has just what I need!"
You smile. Same old Sydney. "Well, I'm glad you're all right and I'm thrilled we're here together! We have a lot of catching up to do! In fact, you should come by our place sometime."
"Absolutely! I'd love that!” she grins enthusiastically. “And that means I'd get to meet the man who swooped my shy science-nerdette off her feet!"
A blush creeps over your cheeks. "Did I mention he's an amazing cook?"
Sydney covers her heart like she's been shot. "You did now! So, I'll be holding you to a meal, you here me?" She glares playfully at you as she backs up towards the door.
You laugh and wave her goodbye. Sydney turns into her smiling self as she spins around and leaves.
-x-
"Wheh!" huffs the blonde standing in the doorway to your apartment. She’s just gotten her first glance at Dominick "Sonny" Carisi, Jr. "Ya didn't tell me he was such a looker!”
You swat her arm playfully. "Down girl."
"Hey there," smiles Sonny as he lumbers towards the front door. He's dressed himself in a pressed shirt and slacks for the occasion and he looks absolutely gorgeous. "I'm Sonny, nice ta meet ya," he continues, extending a hand in greeting.
"Ooh, Staten Island," she remarks, accepting his gesture. "Nice to meet ya too. I'm Sydney."
Sonny chuckles and points out her accuracy with a raised finger. "That Brooklyn I hear?" he counters.
"Sure is!" Sydney releases a laugh that’s as smooth and as charming as she is.
"Come on in," Sonny gestures towards your cozy little apartment. She steps forward, making herself at home just as she would always do when the two of you would visit somewhere new.
The evening transpires with a lovely dinner followed by story swapping, playing catch-up and allowing Sonny and Sydney to get acquainted. As the evening wears on however, an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach.
Of course, it's wonderful to have Sydney back in your life – she’s one of the few people with whom you had allowed yourself to really open up. But as you listen to her and Sonny talk about growing up in the Boroughs, it's hard not to feel just a little out of place. There's so much you don't understand. So much that you don’t share in common with them. The best you can do is smile and nod along as the conversation flows.
Sydney is an extrovert through and through. She converses with others easily and can win them over with her natural charisma. Sonny too has the gift of the gab, and the pair seem to be hitting it off really well.
By now you’ve lost track of what they’re saying, instead listening to your inner voice. It's selfish and petty to be feeling this way, but there's a small part of you that is sad...jealous, you suppose. Maybe Sonny would prefer to have someone who knows what it’s like to grow up in the city surrounded by a bunch of siblings. Someone who is talkative and charming instead of quiet and shy. Not only that, but Sydney is gorgeous, with her luscious blonde hair and winsome smile. She always draws the eye of every person in a room. You don’t resent her for it by any means, it's just that you’ve never been in a relationship when she was around and so you’ve never had to worry about a significant other falling for her.
Were you that insecure about yourself that you could feel this way? That you had to worry your boyfriend, your Sonny, would be swept off his feet? It wasn't fair to either of them. Sydney has always been kind to you and you hate feeling any jealousy towards her. But worst of all, it’s not fair to Sonny. You know he loves you. He doesn't care that you’re not a supermodel and he is genuine when he tells you that you're beautiful. He loves you for who you are…No other guy has ever done that before. And that's why you're so torn up right now. You shouldn't be feeling jealous or worried, yet you are and it makes your stomach churn!
"Doll?" a soft voice startles you from your thoughts.
"Hmm?" you respond, trying to act casual.
Sydney jumps in. "We’re comparing notes on the best hidden gem restaurants around the city and Sonny says you love a little Italian spot in Tribeca.”
"Oh yeah,” you mutter. “Great alfredo."
Sonny’s brow knits, clearly sensing something is off. His blue eyes narrow and lips purse. "It's a bit pricey," he states, putting an arm around you. The action knocks you off balance as he draws you to him. "But I like ta spoil my girl from time ta time." Sonny unleashes one of his signature smiles, squeezing you ever so slightly in hopes of easing whatever seems to be on your mind.
"Aww, you two!" coos Sydney affectionately.
-x-
It's late evening by the time Sydney is thanking you for dinner and heading home. You and Sonny work in silence tidying up after your guest. And in that silence, your mind once again resorts to fabricating nagging thoughts of Sydney and Sonny. Moments are replayed with emphasis on how naturally they seemed to get along. But it’s that same silence which causes Sonny to speak up.
"What's wrong, doll?" he asks, pausing to lean up against the counter.
"Huh?" you reply with confusion.
"Somethin's up. I can tell. You were kinda distant earlier too." It’s not a question; he knows you too well.
"Nothing," you lie, trying to refocus on wiping down the table. How can you admit any of this to him?
"Tell me. Please," he begs, bending his head down to try and meet your gaze.
"I don't know,” you wring the dishtowel in your hands, “it's just…I kind of felt out of the loop sometimes tonight."
"Whaddya mean?" his eyebrows shoot up with concern.
"Well, you and Sydney hit it off so well..." Your voice trails off for a moment before you finally meet Sonny’s blue eyes. "Sydney's beautiful and charming and easy to get along with.”
“And you're not?”
The bluntness of his question hits you like a ton of bricks. “But…but she's from here,” you argue, tears starting to prickle at your eyes. “That's one thing I'll never have in common with you!”
Sonny stares at you in utter disbelief. “Doll,” his voice drops down to a soft note, “that means nothin’. I love that you're from outta town. You're more naive to the city ‘n I can see that there's still things about New York that excites ya. The lights on Broadway or the view of Lady Liberty in the harbor. Your pretty eyes absolutely light up! It’s so easy to get lost in the hustle ‘n bustle, but you remind me to stop ‘n appreciate all the little things too.”
Sonny’s now standing directly in front of you. He grabs your hands in his. “And don't even get me started about havin’ things in common.” A cheerful smile forms on his lips and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “You ‘n I share odd tastes in movies ‘n we're both suckas for nostalgia when it comes ta music. But that's just the tip of the iceberg! The most important thing we share is our values. Family is priority numba one, ‘n you have no idea how long I've waited to meet someone who believes that too. It…it hurts me knowin' that you would ever doubt my love for ya.”
Those words cause you to fall apart and the tears you’ve been holding back trickle down your cheek. You cram your eyes shut, heart aching over the thought of making Sonny feel any pain. At the same time however, he also deserves to know why you still have your doubts.
You open your eyes to a warm hand caressing your cheek. It’s a gentle nudge to have you look at him. You find Sonny searching your features, so you interlace your fingers with his and gently tug him towards the sofa.
Sitting down beside you, Sonny gathers your legs to place atop of his. The closeness makes you feel safe as you mentally prepare yourself to tell all. You take a deep breath and glance up to a loving, encouraging smile pasted across on your boyfriend's features. “Sometimes I get worried that I’ll scare you off,” you tell him.
Immediately he interjects, rubbing your knee soothingly. “That’s nonsense, doll.”
“I know,” you say half-heartedly, “but it’s more to do with my own self-doubt.” Sonny’s expression saddens and he reaches out for your hand. You take it, linking your pinky with his. “Back when I was a biology student, there was this guy taking the same classes as me. He was a year or two older and we got along really well. We shared a lot of common interests. You know, movies and sports and all that stuff. It led us to spend a lot of time together during our free periods. He started doing these little things that seemed so affectionate. For instance, trying to sit tight beside me or asking to hold my hand. He paid me all kinds of compliments and even told me I was beautiful. Needless to say, I fell for him hard.” You pause, fiddling with Sonny’s finger. You had forgotten how much this all hurt to talk about.
Rubbing a hand across your forehead you continue. “One day, I worked up the courage to ask him out. But that’s when things spiraled downhill. He got really defensive and flat out said that he didn’t feel anything for me. That all the little things which I thought meant flirting were actually meaningless and, that I was crazy for thinking otherwise. To add insult to injury, he also said I was too young for him.” Sonny’s shoulders drop and he squeezes your hand a little tighter. “All I could manage was a lame ‘okay’ and left. I cried for weeks and it really threw me through a loop. I’ve been insecure about my feelings ever since. I felt humiliated and embarrassed for being fooled by his charms and for allowing myself to love him. So, I just buckled down and focused on my education, never really trusting myself to openly fall in love again. I was scared of making the same mistake – that is, until I met you.”
With your soul bared, Sonny swiftly pulls you into a hug. He holds you tight, warmth surrounding you as if he hoped it would melt away your pain. You press your face into the crook of his neck, giving him a soft kiss.
Sonny leans back, trailing his hands down your arms. “None of that was your fault, sweetheart,” he reassures. “That guy was a prick who needed ta lead ya on ta make himself feel important. Guys like that enjoy havin’ a girl’s affection, but the moment ya had the balls to tell him how ya felt he was too insecure ‘n pushed ya away. But y’know what?” he pats your arms lightly. “That’s his loss because ya have the biggest heart of any person I’ve ever met. N’ I’m lucky to be the one who gets ta be on the receiving end.”
His compliment makes you smile sheepishly. “Thank you, Sonny.” You truly love this man with all your heart. “I’ve tried not to let it affect me – affect us – but it’s one of those things that festers in the back of your mind.”
“I know,” he agrees. “It’s normal.” You watch as he looks away for a moment and swallows thickly. “I neva told ya this before, but I went through somethin’ like that myself…”
With Sonny being a chatterbox and sometimes oversharing information, it comes as a surprise that he too is guarding a part of himself. You flash him a reassuring smile, once again linking your fingers as a silent offer of your support.
And so, he begins. “I spent a year in California when I got out of the academy. There was this rotation at the LAPD ‘n I was young ‘n thought it would be really cool to get outta New York. Turns out I immediately fell head over heels for one of their young detectives. One bat of her eyelashes ‘n I was a goner. We ended up askin’ each other out ‘n life seemed great. Fancy dinners ‘n presents I couldn’t really afford. But at the time, it all seemed worth it because we were happy.” Sonny turns shy as he speaks and you feel a twinge in your gut. It had never occurred to you that he had been in love before you came along.
He looks up to the ceiling as if he dreaded the next lines of his story. “Then my contract was up. I thought we were a strong enough couple to stick together, so I asked her to be move back to New York with me. I said that we could be closer to my family ‘n that they were dyin’ to meet ‘er. But…we didn’t see eye to eye on that.” Sonny releases a sigh. “Yeah, she told me that she moved to LA to get away from family n’ that she loved it too much out there to up and leave. I was dumb ‘n in love ‘n I just didn’t get it. I offered to stay with her instead but she gave me the ol' speech: Yourra nice guy, Sonny, but we have different paces to life. It would never work out.”
You whisper his name, heart shattering on his behalf. He looks to you with a furrowed brow and continues. “I gave her my whole heart ‘n she wasn’t even willin’ to make an effort to keep us togetha. I don’t like to admit it very often, but I was a mess. I flew back to New York ‘n not long after joined law school. Then I ended up bouncin’ around the Boroughs until I met you.” Sonny’s face warms. His eyes sparkle and he unleashes a smile. “Now the whole world seems right! We can be ourselves around each other. I know I have my flaws, but you’d never judge me for ‘em. Instead, ya love ‘em too ‘n I hope ya know that it’s a two-way street from me.”
Now it’s your turn to smile. You remove your legs from him to cuddle under his arm. Sonny wraps around you and kisses the top of your head. “I love you, Sonny,” you mouth into his chest.
“Love ya too, sweetheart.”
You lean back to caress his cheek with your palm. “I think we have another thing in common,” you offer and Sonny peers at you inquisitively. “We fall in love easily.”
Sonny chuckles. “Yeah, it’s like you’re divin’ into tha deep end head first, but ya only find out it’s too shallow once you’re already leapin’.”
You nod your head in agreement. “It’s funny how that stuff always lingers with you. Like a scar that keeps scabbing over. When you jump off the swings as a kid and scrape your knee, you’ll see that scar afterwards and your brain reminds you to never do that again! It’s a shame that the same thing happens when your heart gets hurt. I always felt like I was scared to put myself out there over the fear of being heartbroken again.”
Sonny hums understandingly. “But,” he says, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “when the right person comes along, all that hurt disappears. Because this time,” he smiles affectionately, “when you jump off the swing, there’ll be someone there to catch you.”
Your serious faces contort into goofy smiles. “See? What did I tell ya, doll? We’re so alike that we even share a knack for makin’ up dumb analogies.” Sonny’s eyes once again crinkle at the corners and he shifts to kiss your temple.
Leaning into his touch, you close your eyes and savor the moment. It feels good to clear the air like this and to be able to forge a connection that’s just that much deeper.
---
Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you’re interested in being part of a tag-list. Any and all feedback is loved :)
Part 9, “Stuck-On Cheese” is up here
30 notes · View notes