#she's literally one of (if not the MOST) interesting parts of the hellsing finale

[cocolacola]

maybe im being delusional from sleepiness but literally why does nobody in this fucking fandom actively talk about Girlycard. does she not exist to us anymore outside of like, 2 shitposts

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Afterward

So, this is just a place for me to toss in some other Hellsing stuff I wanted to talk about outside the reading of Hellsing itself.

Okay so first off, I wanted to document this cool trivia I noticed about Rip van Winkle, the werewolf(?) with the musket that fires magic bullets.   Her weapon is based on the 19th Century German opera Der Freischütz. The opera is based on a  story published by Johann August Apel in 1811, and this writing was based on German folklore.    The legend involves a marksman who makes a contract with the devil and receives seven magic bullets.   Six will hit whatever the marksman wants, but the seventh is at the sole discretion of the devil himself.   In Hellsing, the Major speaks to Rip about her own musket and reminds her that the opera ends with Zamiel, the devil, coming to claim his due.  This is intended to foreshadow Alucard counterattack on the H.M.S. Eagle, where he plows through Rip’s defenses and kills her in gruesome fashion.

So I went back and counted all the times Rip van Winkle shoots her musket, just to see if there was any special significant to it.    The first was when the old Nazi officers complain to the Major, and Rip shoots the Colonel’s cane before he can strike the Major with it.     At least, I’m pretty sure that was the idea here.  The cane breaks and everyone looks around and Zorin points to the lady with the gun to indicate who just did that.   So that’s one bullet.

After assuming control of the H.M.S. Eagle, Rip van Winkle meets with the Eagle’s first officer, who betrayed the crew to Millennium in exchange for vampire powers.    She then betrays him and his fellow traitors, killing them all with a single shot from her musket.    This is where we first find out what her ability is.   So that’s two.

The British Navy tries to take back the ship by sending a helicopter full of SEALs, but Rip destroys the entire team with another shot from her musket.   So that’s three shots fired.

While Hellsing prepares their own response, the Navy tries again, this time sending a fighter plane to sink the Eagle with missiles, but Rip shoots down the missiles and the plane with one bullet.   Four.

This is where I started to wonder if there was a particular pattern to Rip’s use of the musket.  I’m pretty sure she just uses one bullet and can fire it as many times as she pleases, but she was literally singing songs from the opera and it seemed kind of superfluous to have her foil two separate attack by the Navy.  The first one showed us that conventional forces wouldn’t get the job done, so the second one only makes sense if Kouta Hirano was just trying to add to the count.

Then Alucard arrives aboard a modified SR-71 Blackbird.   At 85,000 ft in the air, he’s out of range, but then he nosedives onto the deck of the ship.    Rip fires again to destroy the Blackbird before it crashes into them.    Five.

Alucard survives the crash and wipes out all of Rip’s soldiers while she has a panic attack.   Cornered, she finally gathers her wits and attacks Alucard.  Her bullet hurts him, but he eventually catches it in his teeth, neutralizing her weapon and leaving her at his mercy.  That’s shot number six.

I was hoping this shot would be the seventh, since the seventh bullet in Der Freischütz belongs to the devil, and Alucard caught this one in his teeth, but no.   Then I remembered that the musket gets fired one last time...

... in London, when Alucard releases the familiars of all the victims he’s consumed over the centuries, including Rip Van Winkle.  She fires the musket once more, but this time it’s Alucard directing the shot into the helicopters of the Ninth Crusade.   Shot number seven is at the discretion of the devil himself, and “Dracula” is a diminutive of “Dracul”, a Romanian word for “devil”.   Neat stuff.

Okay, so now let’s talk about Seras, because that’s kind of my jam.   What’s the deal with this line?  “Her existence is somewhat of a marvel.  You could say it’s somewhat of a joke.  Perhaps she herself has not even noticed yet!!”

That’s the Major discussing Sir Integra and Seras in Volume 5.   He stresses that neither is to be underestimates, and I think he makes a good case for Integra, but with Seras he never actually comes to the point.   So what’s up with that? 

Of course, there’s the truth we saw in the final battle.  Once she finally drank blood of her own volition, Seras became a full-on vampire and one of the most powerful warriors on the field.   She destroyed the Captain quite handily, and he was the strongest guy Millennium had.   But this seems a tad obvious?   Why not just spell it out for Zorin.  “Hey, our intel says she’s weaker than expected because she won’t drink blood, but that could change at a moment’s notice, and she’s still strong enough to take down a lot of our soldiers, so proceed with caution.” 

I’m not saying the Major is wrong.   He told Zorin not to engage, and he made the right call.    I’m just wondering what the “joke” is exactly.  

I think it might be one of two things.   By the end of Hellsing, Seras demonstrates a similar level of ability to Alucard.  Sunlight appears to have no effect on her, she can summon familiars like Alucard, and regenerate her wounds with great alacrity.   I’m pretty sure she’d be about as hard to kill as Alucard himself, which Integra said was a product of Hellsing “enhancements”, rather than natural vampire power.   Except Seras was never “enhanced”, she seems to have just inherited these “super-vampire” powers from Alucard when he turned her.   The Major and Doctor may have anticipated this, and the “joke” was that Seras could completely upset the balance of their plans, except she’s too squeamish to drink the blood that would make this possible.  

Or, the joke might be that Alucard turned Seras at all.   He just sort of did this out of nowhere, and I’m pretty sure no one saw that coming.   Millennium and Walter had been keeping tabs on Hellsing for decades, and not much changed until Alucard decided to add Seras to the group.   The vampires in Millennium’s Last Battalion were all produced through the Doctor’s artificial vampire research, which was based upon intense study of Mina Harker, the last person Alucard turned into a vampire before he met Seras.   

So from that standpoint, Seras represents a superior version of Mina, who represents the ideal that the Doctor was trying to achieve.  At best, his finest artificial vampires could only be as strong as Mina Harker, and Seras got that way in one night by a twist of fate.  

I guess there’s no way to be sure what the Major meant.  I checked the OVA subs and dubs and they basically repeat the same line, so there’s nothing for me to triangulate there.  And maybe it only refers to Seras being a joke in the sense that she was mostly comic relief up to that point.   Even that badass moment she had against Jan Valentine’s ghouls probably didn’t impress anyone at the Millennium office.   

Finally, I checked out Hellsing: The Dawn, and it really wasn’t worth the trouble.   I couldn’t find any official English release, so I sort of gave up on it, but I finally ran across it last week and decided to check it out.   

Basically, it’s only six chapters, and very little actually gets done in those six chapters.   I’m not sure if Kouta Hirano is just running super late on the thing, of if he abandoned it completely, but my guess is he got this far in and decided there really wasn’t any point in continuing.   

Let me break it down for you.

Chapter 1: Walter is sent to the Major’s facility in Warsaw, to destroy the vampire research.   He jumps out of a plane with Alucard’s coffin.

Chapter 2: The Doctor reports on his progress to the Major, and they briefly discuss “She” aka Mina Harker.  From what I gather, Mina is still alive/undead in 1944.   Then Walter crashes into their facility and declares his intentions to kill them all.

Chapter 3: The Major is impressed with Walter’s power and offers him a place in his command.  Walter refuses and the Major leaves him to die at the hands of the Captain.

Chapter 4: Walter fights the Captain, and Alucard finally emerges from his coffin in Girlycard form.

Chapter 5: Walter and Alucard fight the Captain, who now stands revealed as a werewolf.   The Major somehow recognizes Alucard on sight and takes an interest in observing the battle.

Chapter 6: Alucard leaves to go hunt down the Captain’s superiors, leaving Walter to fight alone.  Alucard then encounters Rip van Winkle and defeats her with ease.    He seems like he’s about to kill her when some menacing figures approach from the shadows...

In other words, not a whole lot actually happens that we couldn’t have guessed from the original Hellsing manga.    At the rate he was going, it would have taken Hirano maybe 30 or 40 chapters to actually get to anything truly juicy, and I’m not sure the audience would have wanted to wait around for that.    The main problem is that we already know how this ends.   None of the good guys or bad guys die, because they all show up in Hellsing 55 years later.  The Major will lose badly enough that he has to evacuate the whole operation to Brazil, and that interests me because somehow he has to lose this battle, but not so badly that he can’t escape.  

What disappoints me is that there’s really only three things of interest about this part of the Hellsing mythos: Walter’s decision to betray England, Alucard’s relationship with Walter, and the Major’s relocation from Euope to South America.    The Dawn appears to gloss over all of these.   The Major asks Walter to switch sides in their very first encounter.   Walter refuses, but we know he’ll say yes later, so there doesn’t feel like there’s any conflict to this.  So far, Walter comes off like a little shithead, so if he changes his mind at the end of this story it’ll seem completely capricious.   I’d like to think the Major could say something persuasive to convince him, or Alucard could piss Walter off enough to push him into the Major’s arms, but none of that seems to be happening.  

The Girlycard form is taken completely for granted.   Al shows up and Walter immediately takes offense.  He knows Alucard doesn’t normally look like this and he sees no reason for this new look.   Al just says the same thing he says about it in 1999, that form and appearance mean nothing to him.   Well if it doesn’t mean anything to Alucard or Walter, what’s the point?

The way I always imagined it, the Girlycard form had a lot of emotional baggage for Walter.   I figured he met Alucard in this form, and they spent some time together hunting down the Major.    Walter fell in love with Girlycard, even though he should have known better, and when Alucard finally abandoned the form, he knew that there was no way his feelings would ever be returned.   And this would build resentment within Walter, making him more interested in joining the Major.  

Instead, none of that seems to be happening.    This is just one big long fight in one building.   Hirano already threw his biggest gun at Walter, so there’s no buildup to the Captain.   Alucard won’t fight the Captain, but it’s unclear what else he’s supposed to do instead.  There might be a good story in all of this, but these first six chapters don’t encourage me.    Also, they keep jumping over to check in on Arthur Hellsing in London.   I don’t think this guy is Integra’s father, but maybe her grandfather had the same first name?    He looks cool, but he has nothing to do.   He’s like thousands of miles removed from the action, so anything he says or does just comes back to him talking about how tough and cool Walter is.   So yeah, I think The Dawn is a huge waste of time, and maybe Kouta Hirano reached the same conclusion.  

And... yeah, that’s all I’ve got.   In May, I’ll be liveblogging another comic.   Will it be as successful?   Only time will tell...

[thenightling]

My top 15 love interests for romantic incarnations of Dracula (No, they’re not all Mina)

If I was to do a list of favorite love interests for Dracula it would be...

Keep reading for a full list...

16. Bonus:  Lydia from Dark Prince: the true Story of Dracula.

 I list this one here because she’s technically an historic figure and the rest are fictional so I am not sure if she should count or not.  The historic Dracula’s first wife’s name has been lost to history even though the river tributary under Poenari Castle was named for her.   The film Dark Prince: The true Story of Dracula starring Ruldolf Martin names her Lydia. 

Though this film is mostly historic the ending implies that the two are both vampires and walking together through eternity.  

Vladislaus Drakuyla AKA Vlad III of Wallachia, AKA Vlad Tepes (The Impaler)’s first wife died by suicide and the film hinted that this might have been enough to enable her to come back as a vampire.   

Right before Vlad’s assassination in 1776 or early 1777 (at age forty-five or forty six) in the movie we hear her voice, which suggests she’s either waiting for him or has set into motion turning him into a vampire to be with her.

15. Sir Integra Hellsing from the Hellsing.

In the manga and anime Hellsing (and Hellsing Ultimate OVA), instead of having been destroyed by Doctor Abraham Van Helsing after the events of the Dracula novel, Dracula was instead captured and through arcane means bound to serve the Van Helsing bloodline for eternity.  The family founded the Hellsing organization for fighting monstrous threats.  Dracula took on the name Alucard (his own name spelt backward) and may have gone slightly crazy...

He became fiercely loyal to Integra Hellsing, the most recent descendant of Abraham van Helsing to become his Master.   It is a very strange relationship to say the least...

14.   Xander Harris from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

In Buffy The Vampire Slayer season 5 we have Buffy encounter Dracula for the very first time.  Here he is played by Rudolf Martin, the same actor who played Dracula in Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.  In the episode Dracula takes Xander to be his Renfield-like henchman.   At the end of the story Xander is free from Dracula’s spell however the story of their relationship is not over yet.

According to the Buffy: The Vampire Slayer season 8 comics Xander and Dracula have formed an unusual relationship.  Xander taught Dracula about modern fun and pleasures and Dracula became more and more protective of Xander.  When Buffy came and retrieved Xander (again) from Dracula, this time Dracula fell into a deep depression.  Refusing to feed or take care of himself Dracula’s hair and claws grew and he deteriorated into his elderly form.   When he found out that Xander was coming to pay him a visit, he hastily made himself presentable and de-aged to a more attractive / youthful appearance.   

Now the two bicker like long time lovers.   I ship it.

Oh, and Xander still calls him master, despite himself.

Further note on this one: Dracula is actually smart for NOT getting a smartphone.  All cellphones can be traced via GPS.   Do you really want a tracking device in your pocket while hunting human prey?   You just made Blade and Buffy’s jobs a little too easy there.  A practical vampire would not carry such a device while hunting.  

Unfortunately this comic retconned a few important aspects of the TV show version of Dracula and even claimed he doesn’t actually conjure storms, but senses them coming (contradicting the beach scene from the Buffy vs. Dracula episode.)  I wish people would stop de-powering Dracula.  

13.    Jonathan Harker (Multiple versions):   

Dario Argento said that his version of Dracula was attracted to Jonathan Harker.   And in Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula The Musical (Particularly the German production called Dracula das Musical) the scene “Fresh Blood” (Blut) is very errotic.

Fresh Blood (Blut) now featured Jonathan Harker being tied to a bed and his shirt removed as he’s fed upon by Dracula.  But first by Dracula’s brides and grooms of the castle.

Also one of the lyrics in the English language version of the song indicates he wants Jonathan AND Mina as his and plans to make them both vampires.   Thus reaffirming the polyamorous version of Dracula.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slZps47LgKQ

Dracula gets particularly “grabby” with him during his de-aging sequence.

The relationship is pretty one sided...

12.  Renfield (multiple versions).

   The German production of Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula the musical (Dracula das Musical) has Dracula with brides and grooms as opposed to just brides.  Despite this change toward bi or panasexuality, this particular relationship is very one sided.   

Renfield is very much in love with Dracula in many depictions of the character.   This mad man is obsessed with “The Master” and in the Frank Wildhorn Dracula musical he sings a song about how much he loves The Master and how wonderful he is.  The reprise version looks as if Dracula is about to kiss him as they sing a slowed duet version of the refrain but this is where Dracula, instead, snaps his neck.   

Here is the English language version of The Master’s song (Not the slowed reprise duet.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-v1O-asrHg 

There is a deleted scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) where Renfield laments that he has lost Dracula “to the pretty woman.”   

In Love at First bite, and some other films Dracula actually does give Renfield immortality however.  I suspect the Love at First Bite version is a half-vampire since he can go in the sun (this version of Dracula burns in daylight) and he still needs glasses for his nearsightedness but he has apparently worked for Dracula for at least a century so he was clearly granted immortality even if he can’t turn into a bat or hypnotize.   

11.    Carmilla Karnstein from The Batman vs. Dracula.  

 Carmilla is an odd one because in her original novel she’s portrayed as a lesbian.  She is a vampire whose novel predates Dracula’s own novel.  Her prey of choice are young virginal women.  And she can turn into a large grey or black cat.   She is powerful and independant and in The Batman vs. Dracula she somehow ended up Dracula’s wife.  So I will assume this version is bisexual and they’re probably polyamorous and not at all monogamous. 

The version of Dracula in Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books, and the 1979 Dracula movie starring Frank Langella are also polyamorous though he claims Mina (Lucy in the 1979 film) is above the others.  Poly-Romantic / Pan-Romantic / and Demi seem to be recurring traits for romantic versions of Dracula.  

 Dracula spends part of The Batman vs. Dracula trying to bring Carmilla back from the dead, using the very life essence and soul of VickI Vale to fuel the spell.  Unfortunately things don’t quite go as planned.

10. Dracula’s mysterious male lover from Marvel comics, Avengers issue 016 (2019).  

Marvel’s Dracula has been confirmed as having had male and female lovers.  This is not the only bisexual or panasexual Dracula in pop culture.  The German production of the Frank Wildhorn Dracula the Musical (Dracula das Musical) gives him brides and grooms in his castle, Dario Argento has said his version of Dracula is bisexual, and Marvel has now confirmed that their version of Dracula has had male and female lovers.      

I don’t know much about this pretty elfish, semi-androgynous character.  Identified as a male vampire lover of Dracula’s from Marvel’s War of the Vampires storyline, Dracula wept blood tears when this unnamed character was killed.  And he (the lover) was clearly willing to die for Dracula.  So this spot is for you, you poor, unnamed elfish male vampire lover! 

I don’t know his name so I am going to call him Samuel.  And in my mind he was the pretty castle librarian whom Dracula became infatuated with.  There.  Headcanon achieved.  

Further note: Usually if you make Dracula cry, it means he’ll take brutal and violent revenge. This is a universal truth with all versions of Dacula.  Never make him cry.  

I would put him at a MUCH better spot on this list but he doesn’t get a lot of time in the comic and we don’t know much about him.   If we only knew more about him he would have a far better spot on this list.  Look how adorable and tragic he is!  He could easily be one of my favorites but all we know is that his death brought Dracula to tears and that yes, they were lovers.  I seriously considered moving this one up the list but I’m bias for this sweet, androgynous, vampire-boy.

Seriously, I want to know this guy’s story.  Dracula cries for him!  In front of his enemies, he weeps for him!   Give us this story, Marvel!   Who is he???

 9.     Amy Peterson from Fright Night (original 1985 version). 

This one is a bit dubious because the vampire is Jerry Dandridge but the 1985 novelization of the film suggested that Jerry is actually count Dracula.   Fright Night played with popular vampire tropes and a few were homages to the 1960s soap opera, Dark Shadows.  In Dark Shadows the vampire, Barnabas Collins, discovered that the young waitress (and later governess) Maggie Evans, was the uncanny look-a-like of his lost love, Josette.  Because of the physical similarity he was convinced she was the reincarnation of his lost love even though with reincarnations you could literally end up looking like anyone or even being another gender after reincarnation.  Barnabas had a painting of Josette that showed the physical similarity.   

In Fright Night Jerry Dandridge meets Amy and becomes obsessed when he realizes how much she resembles a woman he, too, has lost and is pining for.   When Jerry is finally destroyed by the has-been horror actor turned real vampire hunter, Peter Vincent, and also by Amy’s boyfriend, Charley Brewster, his last words are crying out for Amy.   

Though this relationship is very one sided and Amy is clearly under age, when you’re a teenager (as I was) we can’t help but find ourselves fantasizing about being Amy in Jerry’s arms during the nightclub dance scene or the “Come to Me” scene.  Because of problematic aspects of this relationship and because Jerry was never officially revealed as being Dracula in the film, that’s why this is at spot number 8.

The Jerry Dandridge / Dracula character is apparently in a polyamorous relationship as he has a live-in (apparent boyfriend) Billy Cole.  Billy does not exist in the 2011. Fright Night remake, which removed all romantic aspects of the character.   

8.     Evan Barrington-Cabot from the Graphic novel Series Dracula: The Company of Monsters.

In Dracula: The Company of Monsters graphic novel (published in 2011) an evil corporate executive known as Conrad orchestrates raising Dracula from the dead in the hope of using and exploiting him. Conrad’s nephew, Evan comes to understand and respect Dracula and Dracula’s code of honor.  The two respect each other. And like with most stories where Dracula falls in love with the protagonist he decides to stalk him and declare him his.

   When Dracula takes his revenge on his captors, Evan is the only one that he spares.   

He even watches the young man sleep, the way Dracula is often depicted doing to female love interests.  And he makes it very clear he plans on making him a vampire down the line.

This relationship is kept somewhat ambiguous otherwise I might consider putting it at a better spot on the list. 

7.    Ericka Van Helsing from Hotel Transylvania 3.  

 A direct descendant of Abraham Van Helsing (the famous monster hunter) Ericka has a cruise ship for monsters with the sole purpose of luring Count Dracula, whom falls in love with her.  He “Zings.”  Monsters supposedly can only zing once so there is a fan theory that she is the reincarnation of Mavis’ mother.  This is likely true since reincarnation or look-a-like of a first love (or both) is a popular trope in vampire fiction started by Dan Curtis for his TV show Dark Shadows and later carried over into his Dracula movie starring Jack Palance.  

Ericka ultimately realizes she loves Dracula too and the cruise ship captain and hotel owner end up together. Dracula proposes to her at the end of the film and she says yes.   

Also though Dracula is several hundred years old in Hotel Transylvania he is physically in his forties, I suspect Ericka (as a mortal) is biologically older than him, which is a clever touch since Dracula is usually going after young girls in pop culture.  It’s good to see him with an older (well, in appearance) woman.  (”When you’re six hundred years old there’s no such thing as a cougar.” - The Emo Vampire Song.)    Hotel Transylvania 3 is actually my favorite of the franchise and is a sweet film.   

6.  Cindy from Love at First bite.   

Love at First Bite is a comedy from 1979.  Think of Coming to America meets Splash in that a supernatural character, a proverbial fish-out-of-water comes to New York looking for love. 

Dracula believes Cindy to be the reincarnation Mina (“But I lost her in that damn London Fog!”).  He knows her from magazine pictures and interviews and after communists drive him out of his castle he moves to New York where he plans to seduce her.  This consists of licking her ankles while in dog-form, telling her that she is more than merely her appearance, that he understands her and her anxieties.  And dancing to “I love the Night Life”.   The two ultimately fall in love and knowing the truth about Dracula, Cindy opts to spend eternity with him as his vampire queen.  The ending has them fly off together, in bat form, to Jamaica.

5.   Lucy from Dracula (1979). 

  In the 1979 version of Dracula, Frank Langella plays Count Dracula.  Though technically a remake and based on the same play the Bela Lugosi Dracula was based on, there are some distinct changes.  For starters in this version the character we mostly know as Mina in most adaptations is named Lucy and the Lucy character is named Mina.  The names are swapped.   

Not only that but in this version it’s Dracula who is initially seduced.  Though engaged to Jonathan Harker in Edwardian England (set roughly twenty years after most versions of Dracula, which are usually set in 1891) Dracula arrives for dinner at the home of his new neighbors.  Here he offers to hypnotize the sickly Mina to relieve her of a headache (that he very likely induced). Lucy protests, showing her dislike and distrust of such methods and the manipulation of the will of others.  This bold reaction delights Dracula as he is not used to conflict from women.

The next step in the possibly-accidental seduction of Dracula comes when Lucy turns on a phonograph record player and asks him to dance with her, improperly, right in front of her fiance.  

And later after some tragedies, when the rest of the household is unable to uphold an invitation to Dracula’s house for supper, Lucy goes alone.  

I like this one because in this one it’s mostly Dacula who gets seduced.  Lucy wants him and she gets him.  She knows what she’s doing.  Also Dracula isn’t a whining, brooding, emo vampire.  He is lonely but he LIKES what he is. He’s proud of what he is.  He’s fierce and predatory and has all of his traditional powers, including being able to turn into a bat, and wolf, and conjure storms.   So few adaptations remember the wolf form these days.

This was the first truly empowered version of the Mina character (though named Lucy).   And she is not some look-a-like or reincarnation of a previous love.  No.  He simply falls in love with her for who she is. 

It is very likely this version of Dracula is demi (falling in love with personality before any physical attraction) which is also true of the Castlevania version of Dracula and the version in Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books.

Also based on the last dialogue from Dracula to Lucy (that he would return to her once they stopped hunting him) I choose to believe he faked his death in this version, especially by the wolf howl at the very end and the cryptic smile on Lucy’s face before the end credits.   Long live The Count and Lucy!

4.  Mina from Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books.

Very similar to Lucy in the 1979 Dracula starring Frank Langella, this is a romantic interest where Dracula sees the person as his equal.    

This Mina is not the reincarnation of a lost love, nor does she resemble a lost love.  When we first see this version of Mina it’s in the novel The Dracula Tape (retelling of Dracula from Dracula’s point of view.)  Dracula shows up at her door to deceive her and try to manipulate her into getting the heroes to leave him be but she doesn’t fall for it. And she wrings the truth out of him.   She’s clever and also manipulative and the two become lovers. 

And in the contemporary world of the later books, though Dracula is having affairs with Mina’s own descendants (It’s a bit weird, I know but at least he’s honest about it.)  he still seeks her for comfort and guidance.  And constantly refers to her as his greatest love.   It’s creepy yet sweet.  

In this continuity he fakes his death at the end of the Dracula Tape.  And when Mina finally dies of apparent old age she comes back as a vampire because his blood is in her system.  As his kind of vampire can change their age based on how heavily they feed, she (like Dracula) can look any age she chooses. (Dracula usually looks roughly forty-five-years-old since that’s about the age he was when he died in his mortal life but sometimes he deliberately abstains from feeding to look older or even elderly.)   

And with Mina to guide him, Dracula becomes the protector (and casual seducer...) of her mortal descendants. 

    Mostly the relationship and personality (as well as powers) are very similar to that of the 1979 Dracula film starring Frank Langella. 

Another reason I like this version of Dracula is the cause of how he became a vampire is sort of ambiguous.   He dies as the historic figure dies but in the Fred Saberhagen novel “A Matter of taste” (Book six of his Dracula novels) it’s revealed that loyalists stole his body and severed head and left a look-a-like in his place.  

They prepared him for burial where candles kept going out and the wounds started to heal (including his head apparently re-attaching itself) so they hastily buried him.   He rose as a vampire and insisted that it was a “transition of will” that he refused to die.   In other words he has no idea how or why he came back as a vampire. 

 Considering most vampires in the Fred Saberhagen Dracula novels are created by a mortal drinking the blood of a vampire, after having been fed on, this made Dracula very unique and mysterious.   I really like this origin.  It’s my favorite origin for Dracula since it explains nothing while explaining everything.

 It’s a lot better than someone renouncing God and drinking blood from a stone cross...    

This one could easily be my favorite female love interest for Dracula, tied with the one I have listed for number 1 but I put two others between this and the number one spot because of their significance to pop culture and my love of some musicals.  

3.  Mina from Frank Wildhorn’s Dracula the Musical.

This is essentially the musical adaptation of the 1992 Bram Stoker’s Dracula movie. The biggest difference is there is no mention of Dracula’s mortal life’s wife and no suggestion that Mina resembles (or is the reincarnation of) an old love. The only problem is there is little explanation given as to why he falls in love with her other than that he seemed to have a mysterious psychic link with her all along.  

Still, the songs are beautiful and the relationship is sweet and this version of Mina is very likable.

 2.   Mina from Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992 film):

Before I proceed with this one, yes.  Yes, I know Dracula and Mina are not actually lovers in the original Dracula novel.  I know that when he makes her drink his blood in the novel that it’s more of a rape.  But this version plays with the love story Dan Curtis created for his Barnabas Collins and later carried over into Dracula.    

Dracula is seeking the reincarnation of his deceased mortal-life wife.   And not only was he lucky enough to find her in a look-a-like body but she’s also the age the first wife was when she died (by total coincidence!).   At first it seems like he just thinks she looks like his dead wife and he can seduce her but he seems shocked when she starts to actually remember details of his home. (watch his expression as she starts to talk about his homeland.  He’s genuinely surprised).  

The two begin a consensual love affair that sadly ends with Mina putting him out of his misery.   

A least it’s implied he was forgiven and got to go to Heaven despite the things he had done (Much like in Stoker’s original novel.  No, really, that’s in there.)

I like the Frank Wildhorn musical adaptation of this version of Dracula slightly better than the original non-musical movie because in the musical you don’t get the weird bleeding cross / renouncing God origin for Dracula’s vampirism.   and 2.  Mina doesn’t seem to be anyone’s reincarnation or look-a-like.  They’re just in love (Even though yes, I know that is not in Bram Stoker’s novel.)  But I do have a soft spot for this one because most of it does follow the novel and the musical probably would not exist if not for this movie.   

1.    Lisa Țepeș from Castlevania.

Lisa fast became one of my favorite love interests for Dracula.  She went to Dracula’s castle seeking knowledge and bravely stood up to the antisocial vampire.

Much like Lucy from the 1979 Dracula film she talked back to him.  She was bold and brave.   She wanted to learn and she wanted the ability to save lives and damn it, she would risk her own life to do it.  Dracula fell in love with this personality almost instantly.   It was her personality, not her physical beauty that he became infatuated with.    

And they were both happily nerdy together.   She humanized Dracula and reminded him that there is good in the world.   Dracula married her and the two had a son together.  

For her sake he learned to trust and love. But it was for that love that he was driven to madness by her death...

Lisa was only forty-five-years-old when she was burned at the stake as a witch while simply trying to help people as a medical doctor.  

This version of Dracula was a good man deep inside but pushed to madness and governed by his vampiric instincts he couldn’t bear to be without her.  And when she was murdered he blamed almost all of humanity (save for a select few) for it.    

  And so Dracula began a subconscious quest to be destroyed by going through the motions of wanting to destroy the world. This is not the only plot where Dracula plans to destroy the world and the protagonist catches on that it’s an elaborate and “world’s longest suicide note”.  This was also done in the Hammer horror film The Satanic Rites of Dracula.   But here it was for heartbreak of a deeply lonely man.   

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 57-61

This is the “Wizardry” arc. 

I don’t know why it just now occurred to me, but there’s more than a hint of the Joker in the Major’s character.   He’s always grinning, and now we have him dancing on a blimp while enemy helicopters are firing on him.

The Doctor shits a brick over this, because the arrival of the Vatican’s 9th Crusade force is the first serious resistance that Millennium has encountered since they invaded London.   He begs the Major to come back inside and move their airship to safety, but the Major is too preoccupied with dancing like a goofball.   Up to this point, the audience must have been eager to see someone take a poke at the Major.  I know I was, if only to see what sort of powers he had.   I mean, he hasn’t aged a day, but he doesn’t seem to be a vampire, so what’s his deal?

But before we can find out, the helicopter that was about to shoot him gets torn apart by magic wires.   Wait... that sounds like...

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN! 

Yeah, Walter’s switched sides.   He’s also younger-looking too, so this must be what Schrodinger was talking about when he told Zorin that the Major and Doctor had a new “toy”.   They were too busy turning him into a vampire to bother punishing Zorin for disobeying orders.   In the previous chapter, the Major asked about using Walter (without mentioning him by name), and the Doc said something about the rushed nature of the job.    Presumably, the Doctor was doing the artificial vampire treatment on Walter all through the night, while Seras and the Wild Geese were defending the mansion. 

What I’ve never been sure of is whether this was a spur-of-the-moment decision, or if Millennium approached Walter a long time ago, and Walter’s been their mole in Hellsing throughout this entire story.   The Major’s line here seems to suggest this was a long-term plan.    “I had already decided half a century ago.   The Death’s Head [the Nazi SS skull insignia] is a fitting match for the Angel of Death [Walter’s old Hellsing codename].”

But that could just mean the Major thought of the idea way back then.   He saw Walter and Alucard wrecking all his stuff in World War II and thought “This kid would be a good recruit someday!” But when did he make the pitch?   Was it last night?    Before the Valentines’ attack?   Before Arthur Hellsing’s death?   Before the end of the war?

I think it’s reasonable to assume that Walter was on board at least before he parted ways with Integra back in Chapter 39.  The Captain suddenly showed up, and he told Integra to take the car and flee, because he wasn’t sure he could defeat the Captain and he didn’t want her around in case he failed.   But it’s much more likely that he only said this to keep her from finding out that he had a rendezvous with the Major, who arrived soon after.   

Now that I think about it, this may be the only reason the Major sent his troops to capture Integra.   He wasn’t particularly concerned about her, but he knew Walter would be with her, and he wanted to get him to the Doctor as quickly as possible.   This may also be why he ordered Zorin Blitz to hold off on attacking the Hellsing mansion.  If Walter had been inside, Zorin wouldn’t have known about his allegiance, and it’s very likely that one might have killed the other.  

Actually, yeah, this is why the Major fired those rockets on the Hellsing mansion in the first place.   If Walter was there, he would know the attack was coming, and use the attack to cover his departure. Then Zorin probably would have been ordered to give him a lift back to the Doctor.  But Walter wasn’t home, and Zorin didn’t wait for orders, and Seras turned out to be much too powerful for her.  

Wow, this is like peeling an onion.  That must be what the Major meant when he chided Zorin for costing him “precious soldiers.”    Her reckless tactics got her and her company killed, but she might have also wrecked his plans to extract Walter, and it’s only a matter of luck that he happened to be at the naval base instead of the mansion. And we know that Zorin knew nothing about Walter, because Schrodinger only hinted about him without mentioning his name.   If Zorin had known, he would have just said “Yeah, we’re turning Walter into a vampire right now, no thanks to you.”

Anyway, Walter’s betrayal fascinates me, but also fuck you, Walter, you traitorous piece of shit.

Speaking of treachery, the 9th Crusaders are busy shooting the shit out of London, killing anything that survived the previous night.    Millennium is a threat, sure, but Maxwell sees this as an opportunity to conquer England for the Catholic church.    I’m not really sure “conquer” is meant literally.   I think it’s more like, Hellsing and the Iscariot Organization have some treaty, and I think that treaty applies to their respective governments as well, but the civilian governments might know nothing about it.    Maybe?  

What I’m saying is that I think this 9th Crusade is supposed to end with the overthrow of the Anglican Church in the United Kingdom, with a new Catholic-leaning regime in its place, so that the Pope would have the same influence over the U.K. that he apparently has over continental Europe.   

In that sense, I’m pretty sure Hellsing’s version of John Paul II didn’t order Maxwell to gun down civilians and shout “Die did die die!” over a loudspeaker.   He may not have been terribly worried about Protestant casualties, but there’s plenty of Catholics living in London, after all.    Maxwell doesn’t seem to care, and I think it’s clear that he’s exceeding his mandate.   

And Alexander Anderson knows it.   I think the whole Catholic contingent in this story knows that Maxwell’s gone too far, but Anderson’s the only one honest enough to say it out loud.    Anderson’s group is still escorting Integra home when the 9th Crusade attacks, and Integra accuses Maxwell of betraying her, but Anderson remarks that such backstabbing is typical in war.    So it’s not Maxwell’s duplicity that offends him, it’s the way he’s going about it.   When Anderson kills people, he’s doing it to serve God, and God alone.   Maxwell’s not serving God at all.

“All you’re serving is his power!!” Anderson says.    By “his” does Anderson mean Satan?  Millennium?  Mars, the god of war?   Maybe all three, or maybe it doesn’t matter.   I always thought Maxwell was serving his own power, but the point is that he’s not doing God’s will by any stretch of the imagination.

But the others still respect the chain of command.  Archbishop Maxwell is in charge of the 9th Crusade and the Iscariot Organization, and Heinkel reminds Anderson that they were ordered to capture Sir Integra, not escort her home.    So they all draw their guns on Integra, resulting in the most Integra panel ever.

Then Seras shows up and beats all their asses.   Yeaaaaahhhhh!   Seras, you’re doing amazing, sweetie!

Everyone’s like “Oh shit, it’s Seras Victoria!” like they’re gonna try to fight her, but Anderson can tell that Seras is now way out of their league.   Remember, this group of Iscariots fought some Millennium troops and half of them were killed.   Seras tore through about as many Milennium troops without much hassle at all, and that was before she drank Pip’s blood.

And Anderson spares some words of praise for his foe.   I guess this is like the owner of a Ford truck exchanging compliments with the owner of a Chevy truck.    “You’re a rat bastard, Chevy man,” he says, “but those are some fine Truck Nutz” you have dangling from your tow hitch.”  They’re never gonna be pals, but real recognizes real.

Also, I just think Seras looks super extra-cool in this moment.  Anderson kind of treated her like a joke before, but now he sees her as a peer.   She looks so dark and haunted now, and at the same time she’s more comfortable and sure of herself than we’ve ever seen her.    Seras never set out to become a vampire, but she’s still found herself on this path.  It’s scary and beautiful at the same time.

But never MIND that SHIT, here comes...

No, not Maxwell, Alucard is returning!  I just used this page because Maxwell’s reaction to the news is more interesting than gloomy images of a ruined carrier drifting up the Thames river.   

There’s a moment in the Hellsing Ultimate anime, right after Seras and Anderson turn to look, where she’s got this big grin on her face, and she goes “I can feel it.   He’s returning.”  It’s not in the manga, maybe because it’s not that important, but I’m a sucker for any Seras content, and I love that moment because she can sense Alucard at a distance now, and it’s a very pleasant experience.   For Seras, I mean.  I suspect it’s actually a very bonechilling, bloodcurdling sensation, but Seras has gone Full Goth, so she digs that sort of thing now.  

I don’t know how the hell Anderson can sense Alucard, though.   Maybe being a Regenerator gave him super smelling powers, like Wolverine.  

And even the Major is pleased, because now we finally have all the major players in the same city.   Not sure why the Captain rates an appearance here, when he never says a word, but we’ll run with it. 

So, up to now, we’ve had these 9th Crusaders lined up against Millennium soldiers, each cosplaying as troops from old wars.  I guess Millennium’s SS uniforms have hint of legitimacy to them, as these guys really were part of the SS back in World War II, before they became vampires.  But the point stands, they’re walking anachronisms and they know it.  

But then Alucard jumps in between them, practically giddy for a chance to participate in this war.   Not to be outdone, Anderson and the Captain perform similar Iron Man landings on the same street.   When I watched the OVA, this was about the point I started to wonder if I had missed something about the Captain, because this story has been hinting that he’s like Millennium’s strongest guy, and somehow on par with Anderson and Alucard, even though he hasn’t said anything or done anything this entire time.   This would be like if Superman and Goku squared off in the middle of London, and then some rando OC from DeviantArt walked up to join them.   Like, we know Al and we know Andy, but who the hell is this dude?   I don’t care if he can hang with these two, they should have established that earlier.

Al asks for orders, and Integra makes this big production out of “Kill everybody with a racist uniform and a funny accent.”   Okay, fine, but this is a lot of bad guys.   How is even Alucard supposed to take them all down?  And this leads us to Control Art Restriction Level Zero.

I’m just gonna cut to the chase, because this post is running long enough already.  Al used “Level 1″ to make short work of Luke Valentine and Rip van Winkle, and maybe Dandyman as well, I’m not sure.   Recall that nothing could stop Alucard on the H.M.S. Eagle.   The Blackbird crash, the Millennium soldiers, Rip’s magic bullets, none of it.   So he activates “Level 0″, which ought to be even more gonzo overpowered, and starts reciting this alchemical poem which I really out to cover in some other post, and all the bad guys panic and start attacking him. 

To all the smartasses who say “Well why don’t the bad guys attack them during the transformation?” there you go.   AGAIN.   This sort of thing happens a lot more than you’d think, and it never works, because anime/manga creators are more self-aware than you’d think.   It never works, because if it did, then it wouldn’t be “attacking a character in mid-transformation”.  It would just be “killing a guy before he could do his big move.”  So when a character does a big climactic thing like this, there’s really only two options.   1) Have the other characters stand back and watch, or 2) have them TRY to stop it, only to fail, because it’s too late for that.

Anyway, I’m skipping all of that and just showing the end result of Alucard’s power-up.   The bad guys tear his body apart, but it doesnt’ matter because that never worked on him before, and then all these undead men crawl out of the black ether that seems to make up Al’s body.   Just a veritable flood of humans, all washing out of him like a tide of death.  

Anderson starts to figure it out when he recognizes some of the uniforms on these creatures.   And if that’s not enough, Integra explains it for Seras.   When vampires drink blood, they absorb the very essence of the living being who contained it.    “To suck blood is to make the whole existence of a life one’s own.” That’s why Zorin saw Pip’s memories when she tried to read Seras’ mind.   By drinking Pip’s blood, Seras has taken on Pip’s soul as well.   But that’s just one guy.   Alucard’s been drinking blood for over 500 years.   And each one he consumes becomes another soul in his personal army.   

I’m going to guess that Alucard didn’t always have the ability to manifest all of his victims as familiars like this.   Otherwise, how in the hell was Abraham van Helsing able to subdue him a century earlier?   The Hellsing family did stuff to enhance and improve Alucard’s powers, so maybe this was one of them.  They gave him the means to weaponize all of his victims’ souls, for use in large scale battles like this one. 

And I think this might be why Seras is trembling in this scene, because she knows that this ability was passed down to her when Alucard turned her into a vampire.   Or maybe, she’s realizing that she’s got something in common with all of those dead people in Al’s army.   Alucard made her a vampire, sure, but he still drank her blood, so doesn’t that mean there’s a Seras Victoria creature down there, standing alongside all the Janissaries, Wallachians, and everyone else Alucard has consumed?

Something I picked up on was that this is what all of those eyes in Alucard’s design are supposed to represent.   When he used Level 1 you’d see all these eyes staring out from the shadows, and now Level 0 has brought out all these dead people, like they’re the ones the eyes belong to.  Although, most of them don’t actually have eyes, just smoke trailing from their eye sockets.   So maybe that’s symbolic as well.  

There’s also horses in this mess, and that makes me wonder if Alucard drank the horses’ blood along with the riders. Anyway, Archbishop Maxwell observes all of this from his Popemobile and finally confronts the elephant in the room: Alucard is Dracula, like the Dracula.  I don’t think it was ever meant to be a secret, but Kouta Hirano’s been dancing around it this whole time, without ever spelling it out, and now he’s finally spelling it out.  

I think the only one who might not know is Seras?   Someone might have filled her in off-panel, or maybe she figured it out, since it’s not exactly hard, but I don’t know.

So yeah, somewhere in this arc, they do a headcount of all three sides of this thing.  Millennium has “572″ soldiers left, and the 9th Crusade has “2875″, while Hellsing, of course, is down to just 3.  But Alucard has more than evened the playing field, since he can do this trick and spawn an invincible army.   I’m more confused how Millennium lost 428 guys in one night.   Seras killed a lot of them, but not that many. Sir Penwood got some and Anderson killed a bunch of them, but not hundreds of them.  The Crusaders could have taken out that many, but they haven’t been here very long.  

But yeah, they try to form a Phalanx to hold off Alucard’s forces, and it does not work at all.    You can’t kill these things because they’re already dead. right?  I mean, maybe the Crusaders have holy weapons that can destroy these things, but there’s just too many of them.    And the Millennium troops don’t even have holy weapons, so they’re completely fucked.

But what about the helicopters?  Well, Alucard drank the blood of Dandyman and Rip Van Winkle too, and their powers are now a part of him, which makes quick work of nearby aircraft.    I like how these two look the same as before, but they never say a word.   I think they’re the only ones with normal eyes, although Alucard’s shadow tentrils are still fused with their bodies.  

The Crusaders’ battle lines are broken, and they beg for Maxwell to order a retreat before they’re all slaughtered.   But Maxwell refuses to give up.  He’s drunk on his new power, and so he can’t accept that he’s been one-upped so easily.   Then the helicopter carrying his Popetruck gets destroyed, and he somehow crashes without getting hurt.

And now he’s got a front-row seat to the same hell his troops are experiencing, but he still gloats, because somehow Alucard’s soldiers can’t get through the glass.    He refers to “tektite” reinforcement, and that’s dumb because Tektites are just an enemy in the Legend of Zelda.   I’m onto your ass, Hirano. 

But then Anderson throws a knife at the glass, and that breaks it, so maybe it was magic glass that only a blessed weapon could pierce?    All that really matters is that Anderson has finally turned on Maxwell, and Maxwell is doomed.

Alucard’s dead warriors hoist him up on pikes, fitting for Vlad the Impaler, and Maxwell realizes that he’s going to die alone in a foreign land.   The moral is: Don’t start none, won’t be none.

Then this happens, and I’m pretty sure Dark Horse Comics goofed when they scanned this manga for the digital edition.  I’d contact them to complain, but they don’t even sell Hellsing anymore because they lost the license years ago.   I don’t think a lot of stuff happened on Pages 62-63 of Volume 8 of the Hellsing manga, but I can’t tell.  I’m guessing just Maxwell finally succumbing to his injuries while Anderson pontificates about why he had to do it to him.   And really, Anderson hardly needs to explain his actions in this case.   Maxwell sucked.

Moving on, Anderson contacts all Vatican forces and tells them to withdraw.   They can’t beat Alucard, Maxwell is dead, and there’s nothing more they can do here.  However, Anderson chooses to stay behind and take on Alucard.  

This is Anderson’s reasoning: By releasing all of Alucard’s stolen lives to fight as his army, Alucard has left his person vulnerable to attack.  So Andy thinks that if he gets close enough to Alucard, he can finally have a chance to defeat him.   If he’s right, this might be his only chance to try.   

Anderson further speculates that this may have been the Major’s plan from the beginning.   Invade London, force Alucard to use this Level 0 ability, all to leave Alucard vulnerable to assassination.   Perhaps the Major was even counting on Anderson to see this opening and take it.  

More to the point, I think Anderson kind of has to fight Alucard because it’s the only way his people can escape London.  Integra’s orders were clear: None of these invaders leaves the island alive.    Alucard would continue hunting down the Crusaders whether they retreat or fight back, so some force has to stay and keep them occupied to save the rest.  

Anyway, now we get to the actual part with this scene, where Alucard kneels before his master and she welcomes him back.   It’s pretty satisfying to see all these butthole soldiers finally get what’s coming to them.   

I’m just gonna put up the entire reunion moment because it’s so sweet.   Interesting how Seras sort of reverts to her old self when Alucard returns.    For all that badass power she gained from drinking Pip, she’s still uneasy around Alucard.   But he missed her and I think that look on his face tells the whole story.    He of all people can tell that Seras has finally taken the fateful step to becoming a “true vampire”. 

I do think it’s kind of interesting how Seras continues to address Alucard as “Master”.   He promised her way back in Volume 1 that she’d no longer be a servant if she drank blood of her own free will, but maybe it’s more complicated than that.    Or, perhaps she still calls him “Master” out of respect, rather than any sort of blood bond or whatever you want to call it.   It’s like how Anakin continued to call Obi-Wan “Master” in “Revenge of the Sith”, even though he had been promoted to Jedi Knight.   The relationship is still there, even if it’s no longer official.  

I’m a big, dumb Seras fanboy, so you’d better believe I think about this sort of thing a lot.   I’m not real crazy about Alucard/Seras shipping, although I do sort of get it.   I’m really not interested in Seras in some freaky-deaky sex kind of way.    Take the D/s stuff to the Alucard/Integra room where it belongs.   No, there’s something very wholesome between Alucard and Seras, and I could talk about it all damn day.    And why not?  It’s my blog, and I’ve got the time.    So let’s start with--

Um, excuse you?!  

Okay, so Anderson isn’t waiting around to take on Alucard, so I guess we’re doing this now.

And whether or not the Major planned for this to happen, he certainly approves...