#shes just like jesus

[ginwhitlock]

-  Corinthians 15:55

[christadeguchi]

j… jesus oppa ;____;

[nicollekidman]

there’s something about the way the scoobies allow spike to partially integrate with them in buffy’s absence but only insofar as he’s being Useful and clearly only because they understand he wouldn’t allow it to be different. he can walk amongst them because he’s strong and he made a promise but they don’t actually view him as a man (not even as human, but as someone capable of grief), and as soon as they bring back buffy, he’s gone from their minds, relegated back to the shadows and not even considered. and how that aligns with how they think of buffy….. buffy is beloved unlike spike but she’s also Useful. her strength is there again so they don’t need his, she’s buffy so she’ll take care of everything, they just have to wait. she will say thank you!

but while the scoobies are waiting for buffy to Go Back To Normal, to take up her slayer mantle and do what they need her to do….. buffy (barely conscious, barely aware of her surroundings) goes to spike. and for as much as the season dives into the Darkness in their connection. it feels very important that when she comes back, the scoobies forget about spike and Other him again, meanwhile buffy instinctively understands that spike isn’t seeing and speaking to Old Buffy(tm), he isn’t watching her every move and reaction to compare it to how she used to be, he’s just. seeing her. and understanding her. both their hands are hurt. and….. she doesn’t have to lie. she can be alone with him there.

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[taxinealkaloids]

two b-list sons of God and a second-rate resurrection

[samipekoe]

who da hell is that

[yanderespamton78]

AJDJSOAJW I MADE MY SPAMTON PLUSH THE DEFRAG OUTFIT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm so normal. About. This comicc

Yes

Defragmentation by @zarla-s go read it if you haven't rjkwsjdkdhkash

[grassoftunnel]

bonus

[rhiannonsaintofcharm]

do you guys think that part of the reason Gideon’s death was so devastating to Harrow was that before then, there had at least been one person who survived the mass murder that created her? two hundred souls had been destroyed for her sake, but the annihilation wasn’t complete — there was one who escaped. one who lived. do you think Gideon dying, for the sake of Harrow living, snuffed out her one last glimmer of hope for absolution?

[7roaches]

aggie doodles with my brother @cloudy-dayys

[anotherwrld]

jesus christ yall that four day reprogramming your mind for shifting is actually . stupidly powerful. riya…. riya when I get my damn hands on you girl ….

stumbled across her content two days ago, started setting up my four day gameplan and writing my script for mechat yesterday. now, most of my script is done, I had a dream about my DR last night, and could FEEL my third eye opening during one of her guided meditations tonight??? yall.

like …. my skin is GLOWING, I’m genuinely so at peace, and feel absolutely unshaken in the idea that I will shift. like I can and I WILL. like I’m actually getting so giddy for Friday like kicking my feet and everything like oh my god I can FEEL it like Friday is gonna be MY DAY !!!!

[ewwww-what]

Okay, pack it up nerd squad.

[surven-snacks]

a little while later...

Anyway yeah, I saw that some OC admins gave their babies different uniform designs and I thought that it's my turn to say fuck you to the limited and frankly not aesthetic enough fashion items in game and just put matters into my own hands.

Also, yes, Sunny now has an additional mole under her right eye. Thank you for noticing <3 Lemme know what you guys think of my redesign!

[devilsskettle]

Possession (1981) / Evil Dead Rise (2023)

[belle-keys]

Ember Quinlan is the realest one for stepping into Prythian just for five seconds and realizing how horrifying Rhys and his treatment toward Nesta are.

[sluttyimpala]

hunger - florence + the machine