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#shhh he’s girlbossing
mumblesplash · 1 year
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there’s always time for branding™️
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buckymilf · 2 years
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the winter diva
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is this mori slander,,, possibly?! but hey at least i put kouyou in a blurb
mori: “and you be careful madam or you’ll turn my pretty head with your flattery.”
kouyou*girlbossing*: “i’ve often wished i could turn your head…. on a spit over a slow fire.”
all the other silly ppl at that long ass table mori conducts his silly little plot altering, earth shattering unreasonably devious meetings: “oh?!!?”
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Why no Dekka&Orc interaction 🤨? Feels homophobic.
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ablednt · 2 years
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GLaDOS trying to gaslight Doug like “omg of course the guy with schizophrenia thinks a robot is trying to kill him with neurotoxin [said while preparing neurotoxin audibly]“ is really funny for one because personally it doesn’t read as ableism anyone would experience irl so it just feels very satirical but also because GLaDOS has psychotic girl swag I can’t explain it but like girl thought “oh no someone’s cutting the cake I told them not to but they did it anyway D:” and “haha you passed the test where we pretended to kill you please lay down now” would convince chell to stop trying to escape and that’s just very simply a psychosis moment
So it’s like ah the mentally ills are fighting
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suffersinfandom · 5 months
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I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?
That said.
Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:
The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.
Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.
David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).
It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!
Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.
"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.
"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.
"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)
"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.
People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.
I just.
I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.
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Group H, Round 3, Poll 4:
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Propaganda under the cut
Nadja of Antipaxos
Gaslights her fellow vampires when she knows she's wrong, gatekeeps info from familiar Guillermo, girlbosses by running her own doomed nightclub
She is the Girlboss, but also Girlloser of the show. Turned her own husband into a vampire (taking charge in a male-dominated field!) And further, in Season 3 she came out on top when her and Nandor were fighting over who would truly lead the Vampiric Council. Opened her own Vampire Nightclub! (Which she embezzled to death but shhh!) As for Gatekeep, she definitely gatekeeps both vampirism (Guillermo) and her friendship (The Guide). Does hypnosis count as Gaslight? I'm gonna count it in because she does hypnotize a lot of people. I could go on and on, but anyways Nadja is an icon and a queen and I love her.
Ianthe Tridentarius
She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate
Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.
"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "
She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.
Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top
idk just everything about her
her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.
she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.
Artist: @starcanist
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zonepastrrii · 1 year
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since we don’t see enough of this: can we get the boys (SEPARATE EW NO TCEST) w/ a plus sized reader? I’m not talking just a little bit of chub I’m talking like Lizzo shaped. If you want to do angst maybe the reader being bullied about being plus sized?
(sorry, I’m not good at writing requests)
- Thanks!
NORMALIZE NO TCEST 😍
LEO
CHUB CHUB CHUB CHUB CHUB
(Would love to be in between your thighs) NOT LIKE THAT. WE DON'T SEXUALIZE MINORS 🤬 HE JUST LIKES THIGHS.
Pokes at your love handles and loves to cuddle you
If you ever feel insecure about yourself big blue goofball is always here to help you feel better
He sees you getting bullied and is bout' to slap a bitch 😡
"I'm sorry, you have a boyfriend? Wow..I’m honestly surprised! I mean, who would want to date somebody so..BIG?"
His voice is kinda husky and deep when he confronts them 😳
"Oh now I know that you’re not body shaming my S/O…! Right? That’s what I thought.."
He turns to you with an annoyed look on his face and your a blushing mess
He just smiles and walks you back to your house.
"Let's go sweetheart, it's getting late anyways."
RAPH
Absolutely loves you!!
(He's kinda insecure about being the biggest one in his family so he feels your pain)
Thinks your such a girlboss
He is the male wife
If he sees you getting bullied, he if furious.
HOW DARE YOU BULLY HIS S/O!?!
"Excuse me. But I noticed you were being disrespectful to this fine citizen, and I've come to point you in the right direction!"
roughly grabs their shoulder and turns them around, pushes them and takes you back to the lair
"Raph, what are you doing?-"
he makes you sit down with him on the couch, and hugs you from behind
"Just stay with me, like this..for just a while, please?"
"Of course Raph.."
UGH RAPH 😭😭
DONNIE
LOVES YOU LOVES YOU LOVES YOU LOVES YOU
loves your chub
loves everything about you
loves you
you have to hold him back if he catches somebody messin' with you
"Excuse you. But I think you are talking to the Wrong Person."
if they stay to mess with him too, bro is hitting em' with his staff like a BASEBALL (ty April ily marry me 😍)
when your at the lair, he's wiping away your tears and shushing you, promising he won't ever let it happen again
"shhh shh, don't worry about it darling, it'll never happen I swear."
I believe in donnie supremacy
MIKEY
HE IS MALEWIFE OMG OMG OMG OMG 😍😍😍😍😍
REALLY PROTECTIVE
LOVES YOUR CHUB
all caps because he loves you very much!!!!!!
death machine if somebody bullies you
"EXCUSE ME?"
"Mikey leave it alone! I’m used to it-"
"ABOSO-LUT-LEY NOT! IF THEY WANT TO HURT THE THING I LOVE THE MOST! THEY WILL HURT TOO-"
"MIKE NO-"
temporarily banned from the hidden city vibezzzzz 😋
takes you back to the lair and is still angry, he doesn’t understand why people need to make fun of others? Your literally the same wtf.
Doesn’t let you topside for a while, too scared of you getting hurt again. You'll have to explain to him that you have to go home because your parents are getting worried-
"Just don’t get in a situation like that again! Please? I love you too much to see you cry again.."
MIKEY NEVER GET OLDER AAAA
Why tf do I always forget tags
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krisnix for fucked up ship bingo :3
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Oh my GOD krisnix is. Hmmmm I have read so many many delightfully fucked up fics between these two. If you want your perfect toxic ship dynamic it's this.
The power dynamic struggle. The manipulation mansplaing and manslaughter. The gaslighting. The gatekeeping. The girlbossing. Their relationship is a 4 dimensional game of chess and I obsess over the many ways they try to break each other open and devour the other.
There's so many different flavors of fic and they are all dripping with turmoil and I love them.
Blackmail? Check framed for crimes up to and including murder? Check. Forced dates to gloat? Check.
Kristoph as a villain is my favorite of the series because of the way that he insinuates himself into phonex's life and directly take control of it like a gay little puppet master. He leads to the most interesting character developments of phoenix personality and my favorite portion of cannon to read fics of (7 year gap, my beloved).
He didn't even ruin phoenix's life for his OWN triumph. He did it for a continuation of a family legacy. (Do NOT get me started on the relationship between kristoph and klavier bc o will devolve into frothing madness) and the absolute butch power move of him being the only person to vote NOT to disbar phoenix is so deliciously manipulative.
How long did it take for phoenix to realize? Was he aware the whole time? Did he grow to care for kristoph genuinely? How much did kristoph enable his spiral to keep him dependant? What was the relationship like as a "family unit" (incorrect) with truly involved? What did miles think? What did he do? I AM SCREAMING THINKING ABOUT THEM.
AND AND AND the comparisons we can make to dahlia? One of the other 3 most single defining romantic relationships of his life??? (Shhh Krisnix is canon, and so is, obviously, wrightworth. You all have to accept this. or don't but never labor under the delusion that I do not consider it to be so) the fact that both utilize poison aimed at hurting phoenix and use it to destroy his reputation in a court of law os just the TIP of the iceberg. He has destroyed himself for both of them, as he does for anyone he is involved with.
I could go on forever but I am definitely loosing coherence and soon will just devolve into screaming wordlessly and pointing but, yeah. They sure are something I have a lot of feelings about
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Reiji:
I mean, he’s referred to as “Reiji the Crow” in the character select
Mrs Peacock (beware, propaganda is about different apparitions of Mrs Peacock, including the 1985 movie Clue. Spoilers for this movie are below):
the cool fancy older woman that definitely doesn't murder people
She's fabulous! "I am determined to enjoy myself." They basically applauded her in the version where she was the murderer (which was a ruse but shhh). Amazing woman
Girlboss, many different iterations. Killed three of her husbands. Socialite. Powerful Lawyer
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lav-endermoon · 2 years
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c!tntduo fascinate me sm because they're portrayed (in canon to an extent but mostly fanon) as the most confident, self-assured bamfs the server has ever seen (engendering a slew of wildly inaccurate "step on me" fanart and fic), but it's such a facade. like they're both so deeply insecure and constantly searching for others' approval. yeah c!quackity is a girlboss or whatever but. how do i put this. he filled his entire country with sand. this does not change anything except the fact that his country is full of sand. it doesn't make it a real desert. how's that for symbolism? (i know this has been said before but it's a great testament to his character shhh.) he overcompensates for feeling worthless by aggrandizing himself and substituting power for love. yeah c!wilbur can be mr suave sauce but he literally cried immediately when c!ranboo said he wasn't a bad person. most of their actions are rooted in self loathing and shame. their entire relationship and tension revolves around the need to feel seen and understood but they're so shit at vulnerability that their need for each other only comes out in petty snatches and hints.
anyway the whole badass supervillain aesthetic is fun and all but sir that's a cat screaming from the top of the fridge and a wet dishrag that would fall over while tying his shoes
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gwaaaaar · 1 year
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My Personal Ranking of the MazM Games
Lawd im going insane so. Making this ranking. Excluding Yellow Bricks of course. Keep in mind this will not inherently judge the quality of the games moreso my enjoyment so feel free to disagree :) i would love to hear everyones opinions
HYDE AND SEEK SWEEP!!!
Imo theres nothing wrong with HNS (a lie there probably is but shhh). The characters are solid, the plot can fall a little flat at times but MazM said they prioritized making memorable characters more as they can be taken out of the story and used in multiple re-imaginings. They were pretty successful in doing just that. If we didn't have hns we wouldn't have Alan... mai waifu...
Kate is a good protagonist! She's a smartass and an absolute hothead but a load of fun. Pollie is literally a sopping wet meow meow tumblr would love her if HNS was actually popular. I don't think you guys need to know my opinion on Alan (beautiful gorgeous all that is good in the world). Mihir is good South Asian representation:) hes witty and sympathetic. Shoutout to Crack for actually making him look South Asian... so real for that. Bishop is an amazing antagonist like holy shit it may just be my bias but idk she got me tweaking. Of course you got the OG characters like Jekyll and Hyde, although I must admit Jekyll was fucking tweaking lawd that wasn't Jekyll that was his evil brother Jackson.
Art is really good too! Crack was working solo on this project and their art is soooo good, not Maha's painted style but it definitely works for the setting. The watercolor makes sure its not visually boring. The gameplays really fun! If a bit difficult, but I managed to finish the game 3 days after release. It's refreshing after the previous interactive book style games we had before. Honestly I'd reccomend it to any new MazMians and it's very easy to get into :) It's like MazM's tribute to JNH which made them popular in the first place.
2. It's Pechka time. Pechkas all over the place.
Ok ok so. I'd actually say Pechka is a masterpiece. Like literally nothing wrong with it story/characterwise. The story isn't as weak as HNS and it takes itself a lot more seriously. It is MazMs first historical game and it is really educational! Korean rebellion in Russia is a very interesting topic to explore. I didn't even know about it till I played this game.
It was their passion project, it's clear they were very excited to share a story that dealt with their culture so personally. The love shows through the research and dedication they put into it. The characters are sos so so gooood like. Back when I was smaller, I used to scoff at Pyotr for being selfish but. Nowadays hes my poor meow meow malewife. He'd do rounds on tumblr if he was popular. Asya too theyre literally the malewife girlboss dynamic. Pyotr and Asyas relationship is so fucking complicated but lawd they compliment each other perfectly. Daejin, Lizaveta, and Kyuhan have such a sweet story together and just. Aughhhhh.
The art done by Maha and Crack is interesting. The art style uses hatching and it's more simplistic compared to the painted art styles of prior. They primarily focused on making sure the characters actually looked ethnic Korean. The colors assigned to each characters omg... I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS HAVE A SIGNATURE COLOD THAT REPRESENTS THEM TO A T! The CG cards at the end though... THERES NO HAPPY ENDINGS!!! Some are more bittersweet/neutral. But I think the CG cards do have a wide range of emotions and effectively carry the endings well.
The only problem of this game is the coins which makes it rlly tedious. Pechka is a bit slow burn, so the fact you can only play 2 eps a day is a bit... of a drag. Theres like 10 endings and no log to keep track of what dialouge youve gone through. Like i get you cant replay it without replaying the entire story bc of the endings system unlike jnh or poto or hns but at the very least i wish there was a log to keep track. The footnotes too like, we cant even replay induvidual episodes to find more footnotes which is a bit infurating. It follows the interactive book style of the previous games but the 10 endings give it a new twist.
But yeah on a technical level i might rate it the same level if not higher than hns. Just with hns i found more enjoyment and not many faults :)
3. Thy Creature,,,
Lawd I think you all know how I feel abt Thy Creature. But I'll break it down. Early access Thy Creature had so much potential to be a modern masterpiece it's actually unreal. It was doing something new by being a midquel game rather than prequel/sequel/1 to 1 adaptation. The idea of the bosses representing concepts and characters is genius. They messed up once they realized they didn't have enough time to do all they could n its a shame. I wish it could've gotten delayed just so the writing would be baked properly. Story is a lost cause </3 With characters, the characters are good! However. In the new version, EA characters such as Noah, Justine, and Creature, have been character assasinated. Noah got away just barely because his new iteration is not all bad, Justine's character stayed relatively the same however her feelings towards the Creature have been tampered quite a bit. A lot of the Creature's moral dilemmas are stripped away and it is far more emotionless in the new version which SUCKS. Noah and the Creature had such an interesting dynamic in the early version and it had been removed in the final cut </3.
Character motivations have been completely hidden as the new memory system doesn't give them induvidual reactions to memories which SUCKS. Like. Noah lashed out at the Creature because he realized he had forgotten about his beloved orphanage. YOU DON'T GET THAT IN THE NEW VERSION </3333. They made 701 eviller rather than sympathetic in the final version too </3 The characters that were introduced in the final version are just fine though, perhaps because we didn't lose anything, only gained. Leon is a ray of sunshine, Hanna is a milf, Alex is a badass, Ben is sympathetic etc etc They're like a family :) The boss battles r so cool too... Only gripe is EL is a fascinating character and died too soon to feel attachment to.
The art is fucking gorgeous, Maha primarily worked on the art until Crack finishsd HNS and joined 6 months before release. Unfortunately this is the last MazM game the two worked on as they have left the company due to overwork. Their art is practically one of the lead contributions to why people like MazM so much. Thy Creature is beautiful. I like the earlier concepts better with the sketchy/horror aspects, but the new polished art is just as good. The bullet hell gameplay is a neat mechanic! If only it weren't so hard :(((. In demo traliers there was a concept for having text slide across the screen and scenes playing out during the bullet hell. The bullets would be words and you as a player would have to pay attention to the story thats playing out while dodging, which is a fascinating concept too! But, that sort of thing would be very difficult for certain disabilities and just in general hard to deal with, so I understand why they removed it.
This game was not meant to educate like Pechka, but rather be moving. There are no footnotes like the other game which is fine like it is its own thing. I still think it's a lot of fun. Team MazM put their heart in it just like they did with Pechka, it's worth a try if one likes bullet hells :).
4. Phantom of the Opera let's go!!! 🌊🐴 juan
Lawd you guys know how I feel abt it too. But I'll break it down. Story for the first half is book accurate but the second... The changes are uhm. A decision alright. Not a good one but they're there. I did enjoy it a lot but I will admit the quality is a bit meh. It was my first MazM game so there is my bias. Although shoutout to Daroga for going "shut up white boy" to Raoul when he was being a bitch abt SWA. MazM took an anti-racist stance and they are so real for that. The fact they added the Daroga in the first place is good but, they fucking blame him for Erik's actions when whatever Erik did was his own fault??? But also they made Eriks backstory darker and had the audacity to be like. Actually no one hates you for your face Erik lol. Like??? NO???? HE HAS CLEARLY BEEN SUBJECTED TO IMMENSE PERSECUTION FOR LOOKING LIKE THAT HIS TRAUMA ISN'T HIS FAULT??? But I unironically like the episode where they unionize against the shitty managers. First Pay and A Strike is one of the better episodes. They have two endings, one is canon compliant where Raoulstine run away together, and the other is where they go their seperate ways. I think the addition of that second ending is a cool one and brings to mind new opportunities!
For characters, I think the character added to background characters like the dancers and Remy are pretty fun though! The managers are eh tbh like they shouldn't have been that malicious + the accidental racism with Carlotta and Melek. Melek... dear sweet Melek... she is a good character on her own just not in the story she's placed in. Her existence defeats the purpose of the story. She exists as a prop to make Erik look worse which. </3 Erik and Christine are the most butchered characters here like Raoul took their character development. Erik lost all his compassion, becoming a whiny baby. This defeats the purpose in the og book where he shows mercy to Christine by letting her go because she gave him a single act of compassion. The point of POTO was showing compassion and mercy and he just has none of those???? Christine had been reduced to a naive girl that needed to be taught to be strong via Melek. And i know Melek was portrayed as the one in the right and all but they fact they made a brown woman tell a white woman to toughen up leaves a bad taste in my mouth. She shouldn't have been used as a prop like that. I think it's purely accidental how this came off. But yeah Christine in the OG book, she was strong! She told Raoul to piss off many times, her strength was by showing compassion. She threw her fear aside to give a kiss to her captor!!! Raoul here is the best like hands down. I can write an essay for him later but his character development is the best and he is oddly realistic. I think a problem with the og Raoul (reason ppl can't side with him) is the fact his character doesn't translate well through time. Someone made a wonderful post abt og Raoul here! Give it a read it's good. The way MazM translated Raoul is fitting, as he gets far pushier than OG Raoul to some degree, but his development at the end is quite cathartic. They made Raoul sympathetic in another way which could be relatable for some. The OG Raoul was "attractive" because he was willing to give his honod and status away for a lower class woman. MazM Raoul plays with that idea, by placing more pressure on Raoul and making him unhappy with his situation. He is forced by his family to be perfect for them when he is a child at heart. He loves Christine because she is freeing for him. He is a good person, he just lets obsession cloud his judgement. He is the perfect foil to Erik here and just. Yeah I'll get my essay going soon. Not here. Not here.
Art is fucking gorgeous, Maha and Crack worked on it together but IMO Maha takes more prominence with their art style as the painted looks of the cg cards perfectly match the aesthetic. The backgrounds are BEAUTIFUL. The character designs are lovely. Erik is book accurate minus for the color of his mask. He is monstrous and it's awesome. Christine is blonde, just like the book! The starry look of her hair is unusual to people but it's a game, like whatever looks cool yk? It's beautiful she's beautiful. And we can't forget Jimin Raoul. What a look. They were originally gonna make Christine and Raoul both blonde but probably changed hair colors to make sure they didn't look too alike. I think the pink hair does give Raoul the perfect sweet vibes, even if it's a bit outrageous, it's funny and iconic!!! It also puts a nice duality theme between him and Erik, pink and black my beloved. The dancers are cute, love you Jammes. Remy... lawd i want him. The managers look French.
For gameplay, you have the interactive book format, which again isn't too engaging for me, but it's a good casual game and I think good for newcomers as well because the art is appealing. Coin system is meh but tbh better than Pechka. The footnotes are a lot of fun! Interesting stuff to know like. What's in gunpowder, what the fuck is eugenics, etc etc. But it does hilight the footnote system which helps to provide social context and consume in a new light :)
5. Jekyll jekyll hyde jekyll hyde jeky
I don't hate Jekyll and Hyde, it just doesn't capture my interest like the others do. It's not bad at all and one can argue it's better than POTO but. Idk not for me. The story is pretty book accurate with the characters being canon compliant. It's not a bad thing bc POTO was kind of a shitstorm with the changes made, but I don't feel as engaged. Again it's all up to taste. It just feels like MazM didn't bring anything too new to the table which is alright. This is the game that brought MazM to relevance so ofc, it's a special lil guy :)
Art is done solely by Maha but lawd it is GORGEOUS. DILFS FOR DAYS!!! Cg cards are wonderfully composed, sells the atmosphere of the story. Chibis are so silly, it's like Don't Starve.
The gameplay is the interactive book style and uhhh, idk it's okay. Again nothing to write home about. It's a nice game to play on a rainy day :)
Honorable mention: Heartless
I found heartless on qooapp and while I can't play Yellow Bricks, I'll give my 2 cents on heartless.
I have heard the Wizard of Oz games MazM made are quite book accurate. I haven't read Wizard of Oz yet so I can't give my two cents on that. I'll give my two cents on how I felt.
Heartless/Yellow Bricks were MazMs first games. You can definitely tell the influence it has on their other games. How the story is paced etc etc. It's more child-friendly than their later games, but still has quite a bit of grimness to it. After all, it's about the tin man. Maha's art is so so so diff than it is now, YB/Heartless has a far cuter atmosphere where both the sprites and the chibi sprites are both, well, cute. Nicholas... sweet guy </3. Admittedly he does look like a child when he's an adult but they had a vibe to keep up. The witch is a milf. The gameplay is the interactive book style but it leans more into interactive imo. The minigames where you run away are reused in POTO where you run from the flaming skull. But uh in Heartless, YOU RUN AWAY FROM THE AXE THAT'S HACKING AWAY AT NICK. 😟
It's a ministory to explain what's with the tin soldier and oh boy with the short time it had, it pulled at my heart strings and never let go </3. Fun thing. Anyways. The footnotes system don't give any context metawise, just ingame stuff. Which isn't a bad thing as some people are unfamiliar with Wizard of Oz lore so it's good to fill them in on it.
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tsukasageorge · 1 year
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im not scared by your threat so go ahead with the long answer 😌 (if you want alskd)
omg fr???? love u forever miki thank you for giving me this opportunity (now watch me forget all the other characters i like)
ranked by character category 4 funsies
THEY JUST LIKE ME FR:
kel & aubrey - omori
kashima yuu - gsnk
akarsha - butterfly soup
i feel like there are more who should go in this category. hm (its ging /hj)
GIRLBOSS (ESPECIALLY RED):
yor forger - sxf
kyoko sakura - pmmm
mazikeen - lucifer
morgiana - magi
benedict blue - violet evergarden (source: trust me)
hornet - hollow knight
maka - soul eater
min-seo - butterfly soup
ran & sara - case closed
OH MR ELECTRIC FROM SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL. HE'S ICONIC HE DESERVES GIRLBOSS CATEGORY
SILLY AND/OR PATHETIC AND/OR GAY (more than one):
yuugo - the promised neverland ('he's gay pathetic to me' - guy who has not read the source material in forever)
mitsuba sousuke & kou minamoto - jshk
gozumaru - nurarihyon no mago (blorbo in law)
sugihara kei - yakuza's guide to babysitting
crona & death the kid - soul eater
shun kaido & kusuke saiki - saiki k
joe tazuna - your turn to die
periwinkle - starry flowers
mikoshiba - gsnk
dr doofenshmirtz - phineas and ferb
double trouble - she ra
OTHER (it can be argued that all of these characters are gay, but they don't quite fit silly/pathetic criteria):
nicki/charlotte and harriet/elena - greetings from witness protection!
pastille - starry flowers & syrup and the ultimate sweet (partially bc i haven't put anyone else in this category yet)
ouni - children of the whales
hanako - jshk
sayaka miki - pmmm
loid forger/twilight - sxf (edward cullen..... 😔 😔 😔)
canary & senritsu - hxh
luculia & violet & um. leo or something??? the guy who translates the book about the comet he's got longer hair - violet evergarden
neferpitou - hxh (just because they are more silly destructive than silly pathetic)
if im putting hk characters in here then myla & the stag - hk
killua zoldyck - hxh (would have been in the 'blue hair & pronouns' and 'sad. soooo sad' categories if i had them)
if this is turning into a tierlist no it isn't shhh. mermista and entrapta - she ra
BONUS CATEGORY: small :)
alluka & kalluto zoldyck - hxh
gin ibushi & kanna kizuchi - your turn to die
yaeka sakuragi - yakuza's guide to babysitting
conan - case closed
anya & damian & becky - sxf
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leggyre · 1 year
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Can you tell us some stuff about your splatoon ocs?
OH BOY so ive been meaning to drop some stuff about them(even the oldest ones because they've got some updates boooi) but ive been too busy drawing squid and playing squid bideogame to write about squid do u get me
so UH ill use this as my excuse to do at least some rambling uwU (<- me before i wrote this whole fuckin thing) they're all around the same age (17-19) but their character arcs sorta start based on the game i made them for (does that make sense?)
i wanna get them all smth decent on toyhouse eventually but this will do for now lmao
okay so this post is long as hell its readmore time
so to start with the splat 1 crew who were around 14 when i first made them;
but first here's the post w most of them, for reference :-)
Fernanda is basically the focus point of everything that happens here. Definition of girlboss; she moves every plot point because she is bold and determined to reach her goals. Her main objective is the classic BECOME THE VERY BEST and for that she's constantly trying to assemble the perfect team; though the means to reach that goal are pretty flexible. She's pretty much feral in battle, and is what some might call a "tryhard" in-game. She does try very hard. Way too much sometimes.
-anyway the moment she became a legit kid who is a squid at 14 she started going to turf war bc it was always her passion. Additionally, the moment her Childhood Bestie(tm) Speckle reached the same age she dragged him too. Personally, he'd rather not get into that stuff because hes very timid and nervous and scared and- yeah, that- but he's willing to do it with a friend; specially Fernanda, whose secondary hobby is beating up people who are mean to him. Thats sorta how they met in the first place.
She is, however, very determined to teach him the ins and outs of turf war and challenge him to go out of his comfort zone. He likes using brushes because he's an artsy person, but since it's a mostly aggressive weapon type, Fernanda wants him in the frontlines with her. It's just strats guys she totally isn't also doing it just to spend more time with her friend :-) shhh
But he sorta sticks like glue and depends a lot on her for safety, which isn't really the best idea in her mind. SO to try to teach him to be more confident she eventually starts joining the opposing team instead.
Needless to say, Spec is terrified being in a team without her. Doesn't help that she's the enemy, either, even though she usually doesn't outright splat him when they eventually clash. She moreso tries to give him a lesson first. It doesn't work very well. And worse yet, at one point some annoying ass charger starts targeting her specifically whenever she gets close to the other side of the map.
...And that's Gabriel (but i just call him gabe) :) He sorta notices how this girl keeps going after the same guy over and over again and eventually went 'yeah okay thats enough' and just started giving Speckle some support. (wanna make a lil note here that this is based on an actual thing that happened to me in game; i ran out of ink in a fight and the team charger blasted them and we both went BOOYAH. ill never forget u bro)
So yeah spec being spec he glued onto gabe instead. fernanda was, indeed, very upset by this because not only she couldn't enforce her lessons anymore but also spec was just doing the thing she didn't want him keep doing in the first place. And dealing with gabe is like. very, very annoying. specially for her as a roller main. he's always camping at the same few spots and he pretty much always avoids confrontation of any kind; motherfucker just jumps back to spawn or to a teammate who's safe. He has not only an advantage in range, but also his aim is impeccable. it's terrible hes terrible
anyway spec, despite being timid, actually grows attached to people really fast. from then on, every time they spot gabe in the lobby he waves and invites him to join them. fernanda is very annoyed my this but eventually she actually forms some sorta friendly rivalry with him(instead of, ynow, her being motivated purely to kick his ass). she ends up inviting him to join her (to be) Perfect Team(tm) and they all start hanging out more and learning how to work as a group.
also theres this plot thread
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its really just classic fluff n they end up dating like god intended
now there's like a big story gap here because, uh, it used to be some shared stuff with a friend but-- Yeah. im not sure what to do with that just yet. (..and its the big arc where fernanda has the most character development, strengthens her goals and improves herself. big gay shit too. bummer. 😔)
This gap extends all the way to the timeline of Splatoon 2, where they're all around 16
But lemme add some misc stuff that's happened since the first game tho; -Speckle has a new hobby, weapon customization! :-) he mostly does it for fun or for his friends, but occasionally someone comes up offering pay for it. he's not very confident about actually selling the stuff, but hey, he wasn't the one who asked for money. -Gabe learns to camp less but he gets tired real fast. -Fernanda and Gabe actually form a good and strong bond???? the rivalry is still there and they sometimes do 1v1 because she wants to get better at fighting people with far ranged weapons. -Actually, Fernanda's skill in particular grows exponentially. She's really giving it all she's got. Speckle might be less scared of going to turf alone, but it still makes him sorta nervous. -They move together to a lil place near Inkopolis Plaza because I don't follow real world rules (does a little dance) i will spare you of the somewhat underdeveloped socioeconomic hcs i made for this
OK MOVING FORWARD-
Splatoon 2 is the "Fernanda goes out scouting for a 4th person to complete their team and Spec befriends every single candidate" arc. It's what it says on the very specific tin. Just three of them won't do, and they have to get a 4th team member in order to start actually cooking some neat strategies because everyone has to be in on it.
They do turf and ranked matches and Fernanda tries to recruit the people who do best alongside them. In this process they meet Fernando, aka Fucco bc hes a fucker thats all there is to it lmao(though I have to mention Gabe is the origin of this nickname because he can't fucking stand Fernando; everyone else just sorta agrees because Yeah It's True), and through him they also are introduced to Roberta(bobby) and Orlando(orb!!!), who are his buddies and theyre just here to chill tbh.
When Fernanda rejects Fucco as a possible team member he is absolutely offended by it. So he rallies up his allies(see: his two friends) to clash against the og trio. Thing is, they don't really have much experience as a team. Bobby and Orb just sorta do turf casually, for fun. Fucco is the only one of them who is actually competitive and he just thinks great at it (hes average at best). He's always acting like they're the mean girls when both teams cross paths and tries to make up for his lack of skill with witty remarks, which, granted, is something he actually is good at.
He sorta starts pushing his teammates a bit too much to the point they're not really having fun anymore so they have to like stop supporting this for a moral lesson that he does not listen to and makes him feel betrayed so he gets upset at them. And then these battles devolve into just 1v1 between [chuckles] Fernanda and Fernando with everyone watching it like it's a saturday morning cartoon because honestly theres no contest here. This obviously makes him break eventually, and so Fernanda now is the one who has to break the moral lesson about idk fighting with passion, teamwork, actually accepting your own flaws and working around them and not through them, etc etc all that anime kinda stuff. Maybe throw something about the power of friendship there too just for flavor.
So while all these things happens, Spec is just being nice with the other team. He sometimes just stops mid-battle to listen to Orb rambling about something as he often does(yeah they just sit there but don't worry Gabe is always there to watch for whiny tryhards too), gives them a lil booyah when they do cool stuff, and always invites them to chill at the cafeteria when they're all done with their matches. And they do, although Fernando has a little uuuuuuh trouble with this. There's always a long exchange of threatening glares between him and Gabe and/or Fernanda. He's mostly only there because Orb is a friend he'd die for. and Orb really likes Speckle too.
Annnd yeah when this is all settled down and Fucco has finally stopped trying to be a nuisance these guys all merge into One Larger Group and he actually gets to join Fernanda's team in turf; not as one of them, though, just hanging out with them. It's all just shenanigans for them for a while after all that's done (-:
Eventually they meet MY BOY Michael aka Mikemas which is like Splatmas but with his (nick)name because he was 12 when he made that username. I switched the protagonist POV to him because, in case you haven't noticed, I just really love him. He's a little bastard who's got a significant following on the internet; he occasionally livestreams turf war(and other stuff) and has a BIG passion for music. Also makes funny short skits and other trendy type of content you'd see from an online personality. Speaking of online personality - that's all his sorta dumb egocentric attitude is. Though he is very confident, most of the dumb shit he says and does is mean to be a joke (see: "I don't need this, I'm an influencer" while being completely aware he isn't of that scale yet). Biggest highlights are the Calamari Inkantation ballad cover - the thing which usually makes people notice just how good his vocals are - and the "Now Or Never But Every Loop Gets Faster" video.
And then there's Manga, who I just got out of the afriendmadethis limbo because he and Mike go hand in hand. They live together and they're childhood friends who are, really close, not in a romantic way but in a way you'd probably think is. Manga participates in the internet presence stuff as well, he plays the keyboard and has a soundboard of funny sound effects for streaming :-) He's nonverbal, very quiet and deadpan most of the time but he's basically got the same sense of humor as Mike; they're very similar in a lot of ways that would make you question if maybe they're actually siblings? (they aren't) He's just less confident and less likely to engage in dumb shit; to the point he kinda has to act like a fuckin babysitter because someone keeps "forgetting" to take the medicine for their bipolar disorder and we simply can't let that happen so I guess we gotta fuckin suplex him to do it I guess. A lot of things need to have parental controls enabled because someone is very prone to addiction and keeps trying to play videogames for 24 hours nonstop without consuming anything but the hoard of iced tea they have in the fridge, which occasionally has to be locked also.
(in conclusion mike would've never been allowed to live away from his family if manga wasn't there)
Anyway yeah they meet Mike in turf and he's actually almost as good as he says he at it is so he earns the invitation to claim the honorable title of 4th member of Fernanda's team. ...Okay. It's more like. He's the one person who accepted it, I guess. And thus, Mike and Manga get to join their table at the cafeteria.
The last characters I made for Splatoon 2 were these guys, who never really got any development(or even names) until Splatoon 3 so I'm kinda pushing them to be for the Splat 3 plots I've been cookin'. And they finally have names - Vespa Gel, Roll and Viv.
So yeah now where we are, Splatoon 3 where everyone is 17-19. This is all still going on in the general area near Inkopolis Plaza, though we'll get to the mentions of Splatsville soon.
Mike was a very late addition to the team, so he isn't very well adjusted to the way they go about in turf and... He isn't really what we can call responsible, and is quite the chore to deal with. This bit of plot is mostly about several dumb conflicts between him and Fernanda because he keeps skipping practice, missing calls, and mostly acts independently instead of trying to work as a team. He is, however, a vital asset because of the skill level and comes in clutch very often, which is why he hasn't been kicked out of the team yet.
Now the stuff here is mostly still a mess so I'll get to some key points that happen parallel to that conflict--
-Mike meets Viv in turf and they bond a lot not just during matches but also afterwards bc Viv just sorta likes taking walks around the plaza and Mike tags along, initially because he wants to know when he could expect to see Viv in turf again because its good stream content and he just really likes going against people who match his skill bc it's fun :-) This sorta leads to them just hanging out a lot and meanwhile everyone at the table is just... sorta giggling quietly about how sus he's being bc of how he excitedly talks about Viv but he pushes back saying it's just some fun kinda rivalry y'now??? nothing to see here.
-Viv eventually has to stop hanging out bc he kinda is part of a gang that now kinda despises Mike. Well, Vespa, specifically, but the other two have goon brain so they gotta pretend they also hate him. They could hurt him in all sorts of bad ways because the boys r kinda unhinged, so Viv decides it's the best option to stop hanging out at the plaza(which is actually pretty far from where he lives)
-This is heartbreaking, of course, specially bc it happened right as Mike accepted that Yes, He Has The Hell of a Crush and sorta hits some insecurities he has.
-But right after he meets Sen, and they kinda have a relationship? One where they are together, but both don't really want to admit it? because theyre both fucking stupid lmao (jk its related to more serious things but yeah)
(this is where i pause bc im legally required to share a ref of him though i dont have a good and finished one so just take this)
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(fucken pastel anime boy babeeey)
-Sen is from Splatsville, he moved to Inkopolis alone to work towards a career goal by taking some extensive courses and apprenticeships. He is constantly overworking himself and being stressed due to it, but he really doesn't want to grow attached to anyone in Inkopolis because he is very deeply affected by separation. This move itself has been very hard for him, even though he still has contact with his friends back in the Splatlands, and he doesn't want to have to go through it again when he eventually goes back home. Well, that was the plan until he was forced to have a funny little guy who sticks like glue, as a treat :-)
..this is all I can confidently share for now, but there's a lil bit in the crock pot that I've been brainstorming because Splat 3 finally convinced me to take a dip on making the agents ocs. its THE GIRLS they're the ones featured in this post. i wanna do an alt story mode with them eventually but no promises since im bad at keeping my word LMAO
(small note i forgot to add, they are kinda connected to the main group bc they are sen's aforementioned friends they bully him on inkstagram)
(UPDATE) dear lord ive named them theyre Amber(Captain), Camellia(4), Elizabeth(8), and Goo(3) (<- but u say it more like its "gaw"). Lil' buddy is just lil' buddy but goo will occasionally call him cute lil nicknames when no one is lookin' so they do the fabled bABYTALK!!!!!!!!!
heres some extra stuff w them 😌
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and these bc theyre funny
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theres definitely more of these but searching for them specifically is tough DJFHGHBGDF
i want you to know that ive been writing this on and off ever since you sent this ask
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tauremornalome · 2 years
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top 5 characters from Polish lektury szkolne
Ok so like. I'm assuming by Polish lektury we mean those written by PL authors, and not everything that was obligatory reading at school?
1. Zygmunt Korczyński - while Nad Niemnem was never an obligatory reading at my liceum, I absolutely love the book and count Zygmunt among my favourite Polish literature characters full stop. He's just so ahhhhh. Obviously written to be in opposition to the values promoted, while still being allowed to make his case. The horrible argument he has with his mother is a great scene. Bad bad stupid man! But so interesting, especially the mentality he presents, and anyway it's so fascinating to read him go "oh i fucking hate every single one of you going on and on about poland and patriotism and duty and the forefathers, can't i just live my life???" and. it sounds like a reasonable argument of a person living in the 21st century!! but because 19th century nationalism is something else entirely it was Obviously Awful thing for him to say when the book was written! i fucking love this little man. but also rip his wife, klocia i'm so sorry
2. Balladyna, the og girlboss, she's hot and sexy and murderous. lots of fondness for the whole play, i'm a słowacki stan so as one could expect from me. i'm OBSESSED with her and kostryn's whole deal. yes girl go get it, enjoy his company and fuck him and then do a little murder. also she died a very iconic death so that's always a plus
3. konstanty probs doesn't count cos he's a historical figure KORDIAN my beloved. baby boy. the most precious of self-inserts. want to hug him. would go with him to kill the tsar (we would still fail probably but shhh). i have seen the play in teatr narodowy five times already and i'm ready to go see it for the sixth time any day.
4. Ignacy Rzecki. Look, I hate Lalka, it's an extremely frustrating book, wokulski can go die in a ditch, HOWEVER. Pathetic old little meow meow who is also a bonapartist AND had homoerotic revolutionary adventures in hungary?? rzecki i love you, and i love you more with every sentence you address to katz in your gay little diary
5. once again konstanty and kuruta and gendre are all historical figures, can't say them in noc listopadowa
5. I feel like i'm definitely forgetting someone important whom I love?? Can't figure out who so here i will give a special shoutout to that one funnyman from Lilla Weneda who stole armor off of corpses and in general had a very interesting moral compass (Ślaz!!! i played him once at a school thing)
ahdhakfhskfj thats 3 słowacki characters out of 5 slots total. julek pls let my soul rest
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juusasu4evagrrl · 1 year
Text
I’M BACK BITCHES ANDDD I BRING GIFTS!
I originally began writing down this AU last year with plans to send it as an anonymous ask to justsasuke, my all time favorite blog on here, much love to the pioneer of the juusasu ship. But it just got wayyy too long for all that so fingers crossed she sees it anyways. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 (unless you hate it and then nvm you saw nothing)
So basically while lying awake at like 11:55 last night my brain went, I bet Juugo would be good at basketball since he’s like so tall, and out of that thought this sexy ass college AU was born.
Okay lets set the scene
Our au starts freshman year at whatever college in whatever big city now lets talk majors and aspirations
Juugo gets in on a basketball scholarship but while he’s good and he kind of enjoys it, he’s not a baller like it’s not life to him. what he’s really pursuing is environmental sciences so he can become like a zoologist or a wildlife biologist or something like that and immerse himself in his true passions. Also he’s like a year or so older. Still a freshmen, just sticking with canon on this one cause it always made sense to me.
Sasuke is studying whatever the fuck he thinks will get him familial brownie points. The thing is he has NO CLUE what he actually wants to study or do. If he was true to himself he’d have taken a gap year to live a little. BUT big bro graduated high school like 2 years early, absolutely demolished running start, and got like three full rides to schools that brought a tear to fugakus eye. So his natural competitive streak and his desire to be seen as capable by Fugagku, coalesce into Sasuke just trying to follow in those footsteps. Now i wont say he’s failing but 1, he don’t even really wanna be there right now and 2, academics are just not his thing. Which sucks cause he doesn’t cope well with being bad at things. If it wasn’t for the super dope and driven friends he’s about to make school life would destroy his mental health, and he’d probably be directionless forever. Im not saying he’s dumb cause i don’t think that. Just that he’s really struggling to apply himself here.
Karin is there cause her creepy rich uncle Orochimaru said he’d pay for her college if she graduated high school, and only with a perfect 4.0 mind you. Our girls a double major. One in business and one in some type of chemistry so that after college she can attend a perfume school become a perfumer and start her own perfume empire the absolute girlboss. Shes the only one who knows exactly what they want to do from the jump. How she balances all this? We can only imagine but it is karin after all, and if anyones doing it it’s her. A woman’s resolve can break through steel after all. 😤
My fave, Suigetsu is also there I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how it might just have to be a plot hole I FIGURED IT OUT! Orochimaru is his dad hes our nepo baby. (So i guess that makes karin his hardworking cousin the Selena to his Haley if you will) ANYWAYS he’s studying marine engineering cause I guess I’m running out of ideas just shhh if you think really hard about it it kinda makes sense. Ok new thought. He changes his major halfway through to a martial arts studies degree, (this is important cause sasuke is gonna end up here too) with a minor in some sort of nutritionist something. He’s is gonna be a personal trainer i guess and to me, that makes sense. Also my aquarius brother lives and breaths the very mid nightlife at this school.
Scene set
Karin and Sasuke meet first and hit it off in so far as Karin is concerned. Sasuke however is there to get the degree and get out. He don’t want no friends, he didn’t even like the ones he had in high school. Eventually though he learns to tolerate her cause he’s moved seats like 5 times now and she’s found him
every
single
time.
Once past Sasukes initial resistance, they genuinely hit it off pretty quick. They’re both pretty introverted for college students so they have a lot of time to spend together. Sasuke is introverted cause he just is, but karin would be a party girl if she wasn’t so busy. They meet up for lunch and study sessions frequently. Sasuke enjoys the silence in these low key hang outs. Karin enjoys staring at sasuke during breaks in her working and acting ditsy when helping him with whatever he’s working on to make him do that cute little self gratified smirk and to hear his voice turn from quiet and disinterested to proud and engaged when explaining to her how shes wrong. Yes karin still has a crush on sasuke we all do moving on.
Juugo and suigetsu meet next. Kind of, they’re roommates so honestly they met first but whatever. Juugo wanted a single and after meeting Juugo so did Suigetsu. They get on okay but jugo lost interest in building a friendship with Suigestu after coming to find marine engineering ain’t got shit to do with marine biology, and suigestu mostly is just scared of Juugo. help me decide which one is the messy roommate that makes the other one consider requesting a new dorm everyday. (nvm its Juugo he happily lived in cave like duh) Anyway they don’t really start to get along until sasuke comes in the picture. (yes they all bond over their mutual desires to fuck sasuke its very canon compliant in that way)
Sasuke and suigetsu meet next at a party Karin coerced Sasuke into going to with her. At some point Karin fucks off with the girl she went to the party for in the first place, (who is Tayuya of sound5 fame btw) and Sasuke is left alone in the corner to stew in his feelings of betrayal. He didnt want to go in the first place and he only went to sit in the corner with Karin and make fun of peoples stupid try hard attitudes and inability to hold their stupid alcohol. People do try and talk to him but he successfully wards them off with his one word answers and an overall stank demeanor. Until suigetsu finds him and swears to himself that this is the sexiest man he has ever seen, he’s getting into those adidas track pants no matter what, and wow this boy can not dress. Sasukes one word answers and side eyes fall on deaf ears and hungry eyes. Suigetsu has effectively glued himself to Sasukes side and there is nothing Sasuke can do to stand it but keep knocking back the jungle juice. He cant tell which is worse the stupid alcohol or the endlessly talkative twink who keeps dodging his exasperated sighs. He has never enjoyed being talked at, and hes never overindulged in alcohol either (is this realistic I don’t know it sure is fun to imagine 14 year old team7 stealing a little something something someone and getting wasted for the first time together actually yeah lets say that happens but it happens in Sasukes bedroom Fugaku finds out and puts the fear of god in him and then he gets it again from Itachi who is probably who the stuff was stolen from and he learned his lesson didn’t touch booze again until just now) but every time suigetsu speaks he drinks and the night is getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He is a mellow and petulant drunk and one word responses turn into slightly wordier quips and mildly depressing personal anecdotes. Its right about now that Suigetsu is sure this here man is his future husband cause he was giving personalityless but worth a hookup before but now the personality is showing little and Suigetsus loving every slurred moment of it. The only problem is that Sasuke is drunk like drunk drunk he obviously wasnt feeling Suigetsu before and even if he is now (he’s not) there is absolutely zero chance of hooking up with this pretty faced little emo tonight. (pretty faced emo girl stop) So at this point Suigetsus only worries are A.) How am I gonna insure this boy remembers who I am tomorrow? B.) And this is been on his mind since the beginning of the night, how did this literal wet blanket of a man get here and why, like who is even is he? Finally C.) How am I getting outta all this without getting these 600 dollar McQueen sneaks vomited on.
The future husband thing was cute or whatever but Suigetsu must be really smitten to be standing in whoever’s truly nasty bathroom this is cleaning bright red pungent puke off his once shining white sneakers. Sasuke is currently slumped near the toilet staring judgmentally at suigetsus pinkish shoes and mumbling mostly unintelligibly about vanity and precious solitude. Suigetsu thinks the gist of it is probably something to the effect of leave me alone next time and I won’t projectile on your designer but really who is to say. Definitely not Sasuke, Sasuke still can’t (or won’t its difficult to tell with this one) even answer simple questions like what he’s doing here or who he’s here with. It wouldn’t even matter if he could cause karin has been gone for a minute now. Lets not blame her either cause she expected he’d leave 5 minutes after she and Tayuya did and she did text. The worst she’d expected to deal with would be some strongly worded replies or an especially quiet study sesh. Its decided Sasuke is coming back to the shared dorm room barring C all problems are accounted for with the solution.
Woooo that scene was long but its okay cause were meeting Juugo next and getting some would be romantic tension if i knew how to write romantic tension also taka is almost assembled yuhhh!! Prepare for some very poorly paraphrased dialog in apostrophes.
Suigetsu is oddly insistent on walking Sasuke back to his dorm so he’s just a little confused when instead of showing up in quiet lifeless single he enters chaotic double that smells so strongly of febreze and cannabis he can immediately feel an oh my god just open the damn window induced headache coming on. Still feeling woozy and uncharacteristically social from the booze, he’s about to ask whats his name in the mugler turtleneck (the stars on the turtleneck were more engaging to sasuke then anything else going on duh suigetsus gonna name drop the designer yes this is what he remembers lol it don’t make sense IK but its my mission to make Suigetsu as swaged out as is possibly possible) about the window when the door to the dorm busts open and in walks Juugo angry as hell on some
‘Why did you text me about some boy staying over i already said you can not have hookups in here if you wanna slut yourself out to this school your gonna have to get creative cause the boundaries of this dorm situation were set and agreed upon day one this is my sanctuary and smoke spot not your sex dungeon rah rah rah rah’
Its occurring very slowly to Sasuke that he may have gotten himself into an unsavory situation but before he can say anything suigetsu says it for him.
‘oh my god he’s I’m not sleeping with him’
just barely biting back a not tonight at least he continues
‘i met him at Jirobo’s (I’m having so much fun adding in random sound5 characters Kimimaro is still dead tho rip 😔) kickback he wasnt vibing and I cant blame him shit was so dry so since he was drunk off his ass anyways and couldn’t give me any contacts I brought him here to sleep it off so he’ll wake up tomorrow and see me as his savior and then i son’t know we’ll go from there don’t hate cause you cant pull 10s like me Juugo’
Juugo is not hating, he would be cause suigetsu sounds objectively dumb right now, but he just noticed Sasuke. True to cannon his demeanor changes instantly from ready to tussle to totally transfixed as his full attention is focused on staring at a still slightly intoxicated Uchiha Sasuke.
Sasuke has noticed, and is 35% focused on staring back at Juugo who looks like a character out of the real manga and sauke is very appreciative of it, and 65% trying to process what the fuck suigetsu just said. Weather his delay is because of the booze or the baller is, unclear to him. So now its just three dudes in a dirty ass dorm room staring at each other. (😏) Sasuke breaks both the eye contact with Juugo and the silence directing a
‘you did not pull me dumbass you kidnapped me and theres no way im staying here tonight don’t even worry about it Juugo’
straight to Suigetsu.
Suigetsu is so over it by now and he adds up the ruined McQueens plus sasukes continued disinterest to equal a disappointing L and having cast off his soiled kicks he flops down onto his milky white satin sheets back to the room disengaged.
Juugo however could, not be any more the opposite not only does he find sasuke quite nice to look at and would be disappointed to see him go without getting a little social repertoire established. He’s so incredibly shocked that sasuke is still standing upright and albeit slowly engaging with the world around him. He’s pretty sure if he lets him leave he’ll find him passed out on the lobby floor tomorrow morning, so after another minute or so of fondly watching sasuke fumble with the zipper of his plain black jacket he offers a tentative
‘you know what I really don’t care you can stay here tonight its already so late just, yeah just stay.’
‘Yeah you can just like curl up in the mountain of unwashed basketball shorts they smell so amazing’
Suigetsu chimes in sarcastically
‘okay okay and how do you know they smell so bad freak’
juugo shoots back (basketball pun haha)
‘cause i can smell you from here you cretin’
Sasuke stumbles past the bickering and heads for the door completely uninterested in this petty roommate dispute he briefly wonders what happened to his adidas slide while he grabs at his pockets for a minute searching for his phone to call Karin before joining the dispute with a,
‘oh my god dumbass you made me leave my phone in that wasteland bathroom dickhead Im not going back there so either your gonna buy me a new Samsung or-‘
suigetsu cuts him off,
‘you are the absolute worst kind of drunk actually I have your phone right here dummy’
he pulls the phone out of the pocket of his dolce&gabbana cargos (yeah when i said orochimarus rich I meant rich rich designer head to toe the sheets are probably designer bitch) and throws it directly at sasuke
juugo takes this moment to display his sickening basketball skills and intercepts the throw holding the phone above his head he says,
‘look man just stay okay you can have my bed i’ll sleep on the laundry im keeping this right now but you can call your friend in the morning I’m not busy til late tomorrow so i’ll help you find your way out of here if you need to get to a class but your already here so you might as well just stay’
Sasuke doesn’t feel all that much like walking anyways so he turns to juugos sheetless mattress and then to Suigetsu and says
‘give me your bed you bastard you owe me anyways’
suigetsu is not entirely sure why he would owe this bitch anything at all but he takes the opportunity to shoot his final shot,
‘how bout we share’
Sasuke decides to sleep on top of Juugos worse for wear comforter.
Sasuke, having stolen his phone from Juugo on some mission impossible shit, leaves before anybody else wakes up with no intention of ever returning. but since Karin and Tayuya hit it off actually his only friend has less time to spend with him. So he decides to link up with suigetsu and juugo since they’re the only other people he’s said more then 5 words to. Eventually they get tapped into the study seshes when suigetsu essentially invites himself to join much to karins chagrin.
Boom taka assembled.
Alrigttt thats all I wrote. I wanna write more about this au like where everyone comes from and how the relationships proceed from here and the whole thing is supposed to be a juusasu get together moment and we barely even touched on that but we’ll see if i ever get around to that.
Disclaimers: i dont know anything about basketball and i still haven’t gotten my ged so I have not been to college YET 🤪 on the bright side when i do get there ill probably be 21 already and ppl will flock to me for my id privileges 😌 i tried to make this as legible as i possibly could going through, adding punctuation, and removing some of my rambling. But i also left a lot of it in though like the crossed out text, the crazy parentheses notes (which i hope are not too confusing), and all the emojis, and i chose this just so you can really see the way the story just came together randomly and how much fun i was having writing this clusterfuck of shitty college movie cliches.
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