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#shit im actually crying about it now like omg
silawastaken · 9 months
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This is my reminder to other ao3 writers to SAVE YOUR DRAFTS. SAVE IT ONCE, SAVE IT TWICE, BACK IT UP ELSEWHERE, SAVE. YOUR. SHIT.
600 WORDS. 600 MOTHERFUCKING WORDS. NOT JUST ANY 600 WORDS- NO. 600 HUNDRED WORDS OF SOME OF MY FINEST WRITING ON A VERY DELICATE SUBJECT I DID NOT WANT TO HAVE TO WRITE AGAIN.
F.M.L.
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lightbulb-warning · 1 month
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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my-thirteenth-reason · 3 months
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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orcelito · 29 days
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Had my first ever papsmear and that was #Uncomfortable but it's important to my health so I did it anyways
Being a responsible adult is hard 😑
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im genuinely the dumbest person alive
#im so fucking angry with myself im SO stupid#like yes im only 20 ive never really handled my finances alone before#this is only my second year of paying rent EVER there was bound to be mistakes#and im lucky to have a family that can support me when those mistakes inevitably occur. but my fucking goddddd#basically i didnt plan ahead and turns out my TOTAL student loan for this year covers my TOTAL rent this year#but ofc the installments dont cooperate and the sums are different per semester etc#so instead of looking ahead and going 'oh shit my last loan won't be enough to cover my last rent installment'#and using that very easy to make observation to figure out that i need to be saving the leftover money from my loan throughout the year#i instead went 'omg i have leftover loan this term!' and fucking spent it#im short £600. im going to owe my parents £600#and yes in the grand scheme it's not a huge amount of money like it could have been#but not only will i not be able to pay my parents back until july bc i CANT take out of my america savings#and i definitely cant start saving up £600 ON THE SIDE OF TRYING TO SAVE A GRAND FOR AMERICA#but on top of that being in debt to my mum is the worst thing in the entire world and now i have no choice but to be in debt for 3 months#before i can even start paying it back. like that's 3 entire months that she's going to use it as a stick to beat me with#like not only does she sometimes REFUSE to take money that i earn waitressing bc she insists on having the debt paid through actual labour#but she's also just a complete bitch about it and i know it's very spoilt to expect not only to be covered when i get into debt#but to also expect her to be nice about it but like. im not asking her to CODDLE me i get initially it makes sense for her to be angry#but she could at least acknowledge that i ALWAYS beat myself up over shit like this way more than anyone else will#like im so mad rn im trying not to cry just bc im so FRUSTRATED and the entire time she's fucking shouting in my face#about how she moved out at seventeen and had three jobs at uni and no one to support her etc etc#and just name-callling shit im already calling myself like it was an HONEST MISTAKE#she's acting like i purposely went behind her back and took £600 when i was very visibly horrified when i figured it out#and i immediately came clean to her regardless of how scared i was to admit it. im just so mad like i know i sound spoilt#and like im huffing and puffing over something that could have been SO MUCH WORSE if i didnt have my parents to cover me#but like. i can pay her back within 2 WEEKS of waitressing. ive never handled my rent before. i didn't do it on purpose#and im more annoyed with myself than she can ever be and she KNOWS that about me. so like. please dont shout at me lol#it's just i was SO proud of myself for saving for america and how hard ive worked and i should have known i was gonna fuck it up somehow#& now the £1500+ i'll total have saved for america that i worked so hard for is gonna be tainted bc i owe £600 all bc of my own stupidity#hella goes home
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pavlovers · 2 years
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actually nvm im not emo anymore 🤧
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#will i ever be truly content with the ending ? no 💀 but ! everyone looks so cute nd im happy that my fav freaks are able to be silly :p#i have mixed feelings on chifuyu narrating this chapter tho lmao 😭😭#i mean its great that he somehow remembers everything that michi went through nd their friendship wasnt lost#BUT I CANT GET OVER THAT LIKE. ONE TAKEHINA KISS PANEL AND ITS JUST HIS UGLY CRYING FACE AT THE BOTTOM 😭😭#i kinda love that for him tho like shit make their day all about yourself king#i wouldn't have taken the whole takehina ending seriously either way#tokrev aint even about them at this point its about the collection of freaks takemichi collected along the way 😭#what other thoughts can i put out there...#omg sanzu being an influencer is such a slay. i love how he looks exactly the same as he did in the bonten timeline#he just slays online now instead of yknow with a katana in real life !#kazus adorable. izanas adorable#I LOVE THAT SOUTH IS JUST THERE. IDK HOW THEY MET IN THIS TIMELINE BUT FUCK IT YEAH HES INVITED WHY NOT#seeing timeskip mikey again just confirms my initial feelings towards manila mikey which is that he was ugly 😭#IDK THE SHORT HAIR DOESNT SUIT HIM IMO 😭 I WAS HOPING THAT WAKUI WOULD GIVE HIM A NEW HAIRCUT THAT WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE#its ok tho im happy that hes actually happy ! and that the future he wanted with emma and draken and their baby came true 🥲#WAHH THAT TOO 😭 THE FACT THAT THEYRE MARRIED AND EMMA IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR FIRST CHILD LITERALLY SOBBING 😭#its what theyve deserved this whole time !!!!#what wakui did to naoto was a crime tho 😭 why does he look like thatttt#bring back detective naoto 😭 current naoto looks more homeless than takemichi that doesnt sit right with me 😭#im rocking with long hair hanma. shuji just some guy hanma 💀#wakui making mikey looking at takemichi like that the opening panel like we know what they are 🙄 just had to remind us#thats all i think... its finally over 😭 i may have my grudges but i truly loved reading this weekly for over a year it was so much fun 💗
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hecksupremechips · 5 months
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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emypony · 10 months
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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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chaostudee · 2 months
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my woman, lando norris.
summary : y/n norris, married to lando norris, is one of the most popular wags and when she isn't seen in the paddock for a while rumours start to spread. faceclaim : madeline argy a/n : i'm acc obsessed with making smau posts now 🙈 also might do a part 2 lmk what you think??
landonorris the loml
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liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, oscarpiastri and 2,829,610 others.
y/nusername u rly had to use the worst pics possible ugh i hate youuuu
landonorris no u don't y/nusername shush
oscarpiastri cute
y/nusername how polite cat of you
user7292 my goal in life is to have a relationship like theirs
carmenmundt why are you guys acc the cutesttt
f1fannn fav wag
fangirl1919 nahhh kika solos y/n
danielriccardo i swear yesterday he was literally 18
charlesleclerc they grow up so fast 😭
y/nusername acai bowls are like my current obsession rn
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liked by landonorris, carmenmundt, maxverstappen and 1,292,919 others.
landonorris i thought i was your current obsession 🥲
y/nusername you're my forever obsession ;)
user8191 she's so naturally beautiful omggg
mclaren our fav wag
charlesleclerc biased
f1fannn we need y/n back in the paddockkk
alexsaintmleux literally glowing <3
carmenmundt no cause why is an acai bowl like the best thing ever like i need that shit injected in my veins.
y/nusername 🙌
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y/nusername
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landonorris YOU KEPT INTERRUPTING ME
y/nusername BECAUSE I WAS ASKING YOU MADE IT SO CONFUSING
carmenmundt me
y/nusername the girlies that get it get it
y/nusername monaco dumpp
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liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 2,929,941 others.
landonorris my wife ladies and gentlemen
mclaren hope you had the best time !
alexsaintmleux loved catching up with you <3
y/nusername mwah
f1fannn her outfit as as usual omggg
kikagomez actually jelly of lando
oscarpiastri lovely seeing you (lily made me type this)
y/nusername 💀
landonorris f1 + wife = perfection
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liked by y/nusername, mclaren, aussiegrit and 2,190,789 others.
y/nusername next canada !!
f1fangirl his curlssss omgggg
danielriccardio cute ig
f1wags y/n plsss never let lando cut his hair
y/nusername i promise 🫶
georgerussell the livery ate
carmenmundt help 😭😭
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f1wagupdates alex and rebecca in the paddock today in canada. no sign of y/n..???
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liked by f1updates, f1fan_891 and justaninchident and 10,429 others.
user929 ferrari girls 🏎
user_leclerc no y/n im acc sobbing wtfff she hasn't missed a gp....like everrrr
f1fan829 maybe y/n and lando broke up???
user310 girl stfu acc
carmenmundt missing you @y/nusername
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liked by georgerussell, landonorris and y/nusername and 159,910 others.
y/nusername omg stop ill cry i miss you too, we have to meet up soon
georgerussell i acc think she loves y/n more than me sometimes 🙄
*comments on this post have been limited*
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y/nusername there has been alot of speculation online about me and rumours and it would be stupid of me to lie and say that they are false. i'm pregnant and i will not be attending any more races this season but will support lando from home. please respect our privacy and baby norris <3
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liked by landonorris, carmenmundt, georgerussell and 4,829,920 others.
georgerussell congrats you two !!
carmenmundt can officially call you mother now :)
landonorris love u and baby sm ❤️
y/nusername we love you more
charlesleclerc I CALL GODFATHER
danielriccardio NOPE IT WILL BE ME carlossainz guys be so fr it will be me, me are lando are like this 🤞 landonorris i was acc thinking about choosing oscar oscarpiastri 😢
taglist ⭑.ᐟ
@lottalove4evelyn
@sweetestgirlintown111
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d3stinyist1red · 27 days
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ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʟɪɢʜᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 𝟸
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yan light who is the sassiest man you've ever met
yan light who literally looks at Misa up and down in such disgust, it literally its like a popular mean girl looking at a nerd like damn hoe
yan light who wraps his arms around you, and literally says the sweetest things to you but then when it's Misa, he acts like she doesnt even exist
yan light who tells you he has to pretend to be misa's bf crying, like he's actually crying tears, blood, sweat, and everything
"b-babbyyy!! I d-dont wanna be wit-with that g-girl, I pro-promise!!"
"wife, does this mean I'm free?"
"Y/n L/n, leave me and I swear to God, i will roam the fucking earth searching for you."
yan light who even a complete stranger could tell he doesn't like Misa at all compared to you, he literally hugs you in public, kiss your jaw, hold your arm, hand, meanwhile with Misa, the farthest thing he has ever done was pat her shoulder 💀
yan light who in college, spends all his free time searching for you to hang out
yan light who memorizes your schedule, waiting outside your class whenever the bell rings
yan light who now sleep over at your house because he loves searching through your closet, searching for a hoodie that smells the most like you
yan light who literally thinks of ways to absolutely destroy ur TV and phone, he's quite literally only in some tight black shorts and ur hoodie and u don't wanna devour him??? Why tf are you tryna watch Tom and friends when he's literally there suggesting sex
yan light who you don't pay attention to all night, watching some Tom and friends cuz that shit mad entertaining, and light is over here rubbing his thighs together, glaring at the TV
Yan light who grabs you hand and puts it on his thighs, making your hand grip them.
Yan light who looks at you for a reaction, but you were STILL not bothering to look at him,
yan light who was pissed and sassy at you the whole night, turning his back to you and huffing, furrowed eyebrows
"hey, aren't ya gonna hug me? im cold"
Yan light who scoffs but turns around and begins to cuddle you, head between your boobies, forgetting why he was mad in the first place
yan light who wants to cut handcuffs on both you and him so you'll NEVER be seprated from him, literally wanting to bawl and cry at the thought of him without you
yan light who feels like he cant breath without you
yan light who literally thinks about the worst thing happening to you when you dont answer his call or text within a minute, about to start pulling at his hair and chewing on his nails with a crazy look on his face
yan light who memorizes your voice, the way you walk, the way you eat, the way you clean and everything just because hes that obsessed over you
yan light who is so close to using his death note on misa just because she managed to small talk you, glaring at her with such hatred you would think she killed his dog or sum
yan light who always making sure he holds the door open for your and giving you snacks when you dont have any
yan light who buys you things you've been recently talking about, telling you he deserves a kiss for what he did for u
yan light who is ur jealous lil wife <333
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SOMEONE HELP NO MORE REQUEST P<LS ITS LIKE I SOLD MY FUCKIGN SOUL OMG I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START ATTHIS POINT
JKJK SEND REQUESTS IF U WANT
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love-belle · 1 year
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my sunshine !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're the 'it' couple and everyone's obsessed with them, rightfully so.
or
for when you find your forever kinda person. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lando norris x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - finally it's here!!! i really hope u like it!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3
edit - changed it bc the person who requested it doesn't speak hindi x
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 799,416 others
yourusername 💐
tagged landonorris
7,728 comments
username i think i just died and went to heaven
username SHUT UP EVERYONE
username babe wake up y/n is slaying one again
username SHE'S SO ETHEREAL GODDAMN
carmenmmundt the most beautiful 🤍
-> yourusername all you angel 🤍
username SHE'S SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username she's everything to me ❤️
lilymhe holy shit marry me ?
-> yourusername wdym you're already my wife???
-> lilymhe even better 🥰
-> landonorris she's stealing my girl again alex_albon
-> alex_albon should've never introduced these two
-> lilymhe stay mad x
username MOTHER IS MOTHERING
username just reject me so i can move on PLEASE.
username PLEASE THE LAST SLIDE
username her in traditional clothing is something that's so personal to me like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
-> username im ready to throw these hands for y/n
charles_leclerc lando has been staring at this for 20 minutes
-> landonorris CHARLES
-> yourusername HELP
username lando is me
username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏
landonorris woah hahaha hey
-> yourusername hello 👋
landonorris i love love love youuuuuu
-> yourusername i love love love youuuuuu more
landonorris HOW ARE YOU SO PRETTY
-> yourusername IDK WHY ARE U
landonorris marry me 🫡
-> yourusername is this your way of proposing to me
-> landonorris is this working
-> yourusername no
-> landonorris what happened to "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings"
-> yourusername i have yet to see a paper ring so
-> landonorris wow.
-> usernames honestly parents
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 872,915 others
landonorris something about taylor swift and saving me a seat at every table
tagged yourusername
8,528 comments
username THEY'RE MY PARENTS OMG
username SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP
username i'll be on the highway if anyone asks
username ahahahahahah im fine!!!!!! im okay!!!!!!!!
username ok.
danielricciardo highlight of the whole outing was watching you crash that golf cart and then cry about it
-> landonorris just because you can type out a comment doesn't mean you should
username I LOVE THEM HELP
username LOVER
username they're so lover coded 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username goodnight that's enough singleness for one day 🫡
username i don't know who to be jealous of tbh
charles_leclerc you should never be near a golf cart ever again
-> landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY????
-> username WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GOLF CART I NEED TO KNOW
username they're so in love it makes me wanna throw up (in a good way)
username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head
lewishamilton loved seeing you last night!! the golf inchident definitely made my week!!
-> landonorris so glad to know my embarrassment is amusing to you
username i need them to adopt me like now.
username lando i seriously need to know if u can fight or not
yourusername you're my my my loverrr
-> landonorris yes i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍
yourusername but they're all right, never drive a golf cart again
-> landonorris NOT YOU TOO
username lando malfunctioning everytime y/n LOOK at him despite being together for such a long time is so relatable of him like ACTUALLY
username god i am not ur strongest soldier 🫤
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 799,725 others
yourusername chellam ( sweetheart )
tagged landonorris
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 913,816 others
landonorris 4ever and ever my girl. i love you.
tagged yourusername
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 89 others
yourusername a series of unfortunate events
tagged landonorris danielricciardo
7,928 comments
username I DIED OMG
carlossainz55 i feel bad for laughing
-> landonorris at least you feel bad, y/n just laughed for 10 mins and then made fun of me 💔💔💔
-> yourusername but i love you
-> landonorris i love you so much more
-> carlossainz55 THE TONE CHANGE
username THE DOLL IM CRYING
username i would sell my family to witness this irl
username y/n bullying her bf and im here for every second of it
landonorris did you really have to do me dirty like that
-> yourusername it's my love language
landonorris you promised you wouldn't laugh
-> yourusername i'm not laughing
-> landonorris love i can hear your giggles from the living room
-> yourusername that's not me lol i'm out with lily and carmen
-> landonorris WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M HOME ALONE
username Y/N TERRORIZING HER BF EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME
-> username that's what he gets for stealing my wife thank you very much
lewishamilton pity i missed seeing it in person
-> yourusername i just sent you 8 videos of it from different angels
-> lewishamilton this is why i like you more than lando
-> landonorris fuck you both.
danielricciardo is it safe to come out of my hidden place?
-> yourusername negative. lando is still out on a hunt for you.
-> danielricciardo does he still have the fork?
-> yourusername it's a rubber spatula now
-> landonorris not my gf airing out my business to the enemy what is this economy
-> yourusername you're hardly secretive with the amount of noise you make every time you enter a room so !!
username they're so chaotic bruh i love her
username DANIEL'S FACE HELP IM CRYING
-> username it was at that moment he realised. he. fucked. up.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 886,688 others
landonorris sadly only 3 out of 26281927 made it to the gram 💔
tagged yourusername
8,931 comments
username SHE'S SO
username IM IN LOVE
username jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets heart beats out of chest awooga awooga sound affect pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out slams fists on table rattling any plates bowls or silverware whistles loudly fireworks shoot from top of head pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth wipes comically large bead of sweat from head clears throat straightens tie combs hair ahem you look very lovely GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF
-> yourusername babe are you okay?
-> username ahsjdjdkeksmssd;;;;72hsshskksk
username she's so 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔
lilymhe girlfriend 💐🤍
-> landonorris right??? MY girlfriend
-> username lando forever getting defensive with lily around will never NOT be funny
-> username it's bc he knows that y/n and lily can and will absolutely wife eachother up
*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*
username IM ON MY KNEES GODDAMN
username HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE GOD'S FAVOURITE
-> username this is me yelling at lando btw
-> landonorris pretty good haha i know how lucky i am
-> username GOODBYE.
username SHE'S A REAL GODDESS LIKE WOAH
username lando better wife her up before i do (threatening)
*liked by landonorris*
username im SOOOOooooOOO normal about this
carmenmmundt i expect an email with those 26281927 photos
-> landonorris duly noted
username everyone being obsessed with y/n is so real of them actually
username lando norris i am under your bed.
username she's for the girls and the gays i don't make the rules.
username IM SO AHHASHSJDHSKSK
yourusername thank you for being my personal photographer ❤️
-> landonorris only for you ❤️
yourusername also thank you for choosing good photos of me 🫡
-> landonorris that's so not true because every single photo of yours is the BEST
-> username im blushing and he didn't even say it to ME
username god me when.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 896,599 others
yourusername just look at him if you have a vitamin d deficiency ☀️
tagged landonorris
8,732 comments
username HE'S SO SUNSHINE BOY
username STOP HE'S ADORABLE
username im love with both of them actually
username no bc he's her sunshine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
carlossainz55 my eyes hurt from looking at this post for too long
-> yourusername they're being blessed so 😮‍💨
-> landonorris thank you baby 🥰
username lando always being 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 with y/n is so
username i need this couple like serotonin every day im not joking
username god i knew u had favourites
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username babe wake up my parents are being cute on the main again
lilymhe opened this app and saw this abomination what is this torture.
-> landonorris BLOCKED.
-> yourusername relax you both can be my side hoes 😘
-> lilymhe SIDE?
-> francisca.cgomes bebé ❤️
-> yourusername kika ❤️
-> landonorris that's a betrayal i did not see coming
-> lilymhe same omg
username HE'S SO GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND
username that's a look of pure joy like im smiling by just looking at these photos omg
landonorris my ❤️
-> yourusername my sunshine ❤️
-> landonorris i just need to hear those 5 words
-> yourusername i love you so much
-> landonorris cute but try again
-> yourusername i won't wife up lily
-> landonorris thank you ❤️
username THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR IM DONE
username sigh this is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
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miruac · 30 days
Text
dating tenya iida headcanons - part three
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warnings: extremely self indulgent, not proofread, reverse comfort!!! for iida!!! because even an uptight strong person like him has his moments!!!!
a/n: you guys are EATING these headcanons up...thank you to all of you who like my content, im so glad that theres actually people who like iida as much as i do out there <333 also i will be creating a taglist for this series, so please send me a request if youd like to be added!!
this headcanon popped up into my head as i was taking off my mascara today but like if youre too tired to, iida will gladly take off your makeup for you
he does it so softly and gently im gonna sob
while doing so he's whispering sweet nothings to you(EXCEPT HE MEANS EVERYTHING)
"you're so gorgeous. *wipe* everything about you intrigues me. *wipe*. im so glad that you let me be with you. *wipe* "wait-why are you crying??"
he's such a good cuddler guys omg
going back to my headcanon on how he's touchstarved, it takes a while for him to open up to cuddling
hes worried that he'll act inappropriately and would fear if something he did anything to you
but slowly and surely he warmed up, and now almost everyday you guys are just lounging in each others arms
he's a little stiff, but he figures how you like to be cuddled and he also enjoys it
as long as he's with you he'll be okay
iidas a gossiper. no one argue with me
he won't create false rumours
but he keeps an open ear, and ALWAYS happens to overhear the drama
when he tells you everything he knows your jaw DROPS
because no way does someone so goody goody like him talks shit
but its okay you guys have like designated days to spill everything you know to each other
probably over some snacks too while youre at it
reverse comfort time!!! because our big hunk has his moments too!!!!
during the stain incident, he had so many breakdowns
over his brothers condition, his familys wellbeing, the fact that his brother was actually attacked by a villain
but the major thing was that iida was the successor to ingenium
growing up he knew he was gonna become ingenium at some point, but he didn't think it would be this early
he had a panic attack in the middle of the night, about whether he was worthy enough to actually BE ingenium
in the middle of the night, he knocked on your door
you opened it to find iida with his hair all messy, glasses slanted and almost falling off his nose, while he had tear streaks running down his eyes
when he sees you, he's apologizing profusely under his breath(he's scared he's bothering you :()
"imsorryiknowitslateandireallyshouldntbeherebutididntknowwhattodoand-" "iida?" "iknowimbreakingsomerulesrightnowandiknowiwillhavetofacetheconsequences-" "iida?" "butididntknowwhereelsetogoand-" "iida. you're spiraling, come inside."
he almost crumbles when you let him in, as he trudges to sit on your bed whilst wiping his face
you hand him a bottle of water while you sit next to him, ears open
seeing him cry made your heart crack a little bit, because iida doesn't cry unless he's under an insane amount of pressure
he slowly opened up about how he felt unprepared to become the new ingenium heir in such a short time and if he really was worthy of taking the name for himself
all while you held his hand and listened intently
you two ended up cuddling, you lying down while he had his head on your chest and his arms around you
your fingers were playing with his hair as you were reassuring him through all of it, and he realized he likes his hair to be played with
"y/n?" "hmm?" "thank you." "of course, tenya."
the next morning you got to class and on your desk was a little origami flower with a little note from iida as a thank you
he HATES arguing
he hates it so much he doesn't like getting angry in general, especially at you
when you guys have your first argument he doesn't really know what to say because this is his first relationship, and he wasn't sure how to navigate his feelings
but he never snaps ever; at most his voice gets a little bit louder and his tone is a little more rushed
he never wants to raise his voice at you, so he goes off alone for a little while to cool his head. then, if both of you are ready he'll try his best to tell you his persepective of things
after almost a year of dating, he's more open with showing pda but still gets a little shy
its time!!! to meet the family!!!! tensei has heard of you through iida, and you two have met briefly when you visited him in the hospital with iida
you're a bit scared that his parents won't like you or will think you aren't good enough for their son but theyre not like that at all!!!
he brings you home during the break between first year to second year
when you got to his place your jaw DROPPED
sure hes the brother of ingenium a famed hero but this mans house is NICE(like this as an example but a lot of backyard space)
its not like extravagant but big enough to make you question the amount of money you have in your bank account
he squeezes your hand reassuringly to calm your nerves before you go inside
when you guys go inside, you're greeted by his mother and his brother
his dad was at the agency clearing up some paperwork
his mom is so sweet im gonna cry
she's so welcoming and very patient with you, and she gladly shakes your hand and even welcomes you with a hug
she shows you to the room where you're staying for the time being, and when you get to the room your jaw drops even MORE
it has its own bathroom, the bed is huge, and theres so much lounging space
not to mention the view??? ok im done yapping about houses
theres a special pyjama set on the bed and slippers for you
during dinner you guys converse about how you and iida met, and how life is at ua
after dinner you and his mom gossiped about work stories and stories of raising iida
she showed you baby pictures of him and oh my god HE WAS SO CUTEE
when he first got his engines i headcanon he didnt know how to stop and he hit the wall.....so theres just a picture of a baby iida shaped dent in the wall
your new nickname for him after seeing that was "wall wrecker"
his dad came home a little later and greeted you with a firm handshake
it was a little scary meeting his dad but he seemed to be pleased, just a little quiet and strict
iida showed you to your room when it got late and gave you a little goodnight hug and peck on the cheek
"thank you for letting me bring you home. i hope my mother isn't too...overbearing."
HES SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY
the next day he took you out on a little picnic date at this park
held you in his arms while you watched the petals fall im SICK TO MY STOMACH
he after the picnic he took you out to dinner at this higher fancy restaurant
he held your hand the entire time im gonna barf hes so cute
ignored all your requests to split the bill and he paid the full thing(eat the rich im gonna eat HIM)
you guys watched the sunset while walking home and it was so nice to spend the day with him
the entire day he was telling you stories of the places he took you
he literally never let go of your hand during the day, but his face was still a little red <3 i love him so much im gonna sob
"everytime i look at you im stunned by your beauty. you're even more radiant than those sakura leaves, darling."
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a/n: WAHHHHH HES SO CUTE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY
guys i know youve all been looking forward to part 3 but lowk this one was a little rushed and last minute but i hope it lives up to your expectations :3 nuubiii signing off!!!
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rotthepoet · 2 months
Note
Enz and theo threesome 🫠🫠
Omg omgomg okay im using your corrected ask to write the actual fic but i woke up at 5:26am in a blind panic(y’all ever have texting dreams? Fuck that shit. Theyre so disorienting) anyways!!!! This was such a treat to wake up to! Youre a beautiful genius and i love you and im so excited to write this
Because enzo and theo both treating you like a princess during foreplay. Youre so shy and sweet and theyre buttering you up and you have NO idea how rough theyre about to get. Just imagine Theo muttering sweet words in Italian while he feels all over your body, and Enzo is kissing down your neck and tracing his name into uour skin. Theyre soooo gentle and so sweet
I mean until youre on your hands and knees. Then theyre not as sweet anymore. In fact theyre really mean :( theyre so rough with you and they’re making fun of you for crying when youre overstimulated and its a complete 180° from 20 minutes ago!!! Like!!! They spent so long easing you into a pretty little sub for them and now they’re just using you like a toy?? What the freak guys.
I stand by asshole lorenzo for all my days, and I think hes so much meaner than Theo. He has your mouth and hes making fun of the sounds uou make and the way your eyes roll back-youre absolutely stunning but let a man have a bit of fun.
Theo… still not super nice but def more likely to talk you through it. “Oh Enzo is just mad its not him inside this pretty pussy…” “oh thats right, keep on moaning my name around his dick, it makes him so angry.”
Anyways! Will have an actual fic uploaded aaaaaaaa by the beginning of next week for sure. I have a busy weekend give me some grace pls my love 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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clearnachopirate · 4 months
Text
Terry and the batfam. Terry and the batfam. their dynamics have so much potential and i would LOVE to see it explored in any way at all
Terry and Dick: older brothers, trade stories of how they embarrass and get back at their younger brother(s), anger issue twins, "oh you were batman too??" "yeah, but its only bc one of my parents was murdered" "omg thats how i became robin no way"
Terry and Jason: the second most destructive duo, second only to terry and steph. not bc they fight or blow things up on patrol (thats tim and jasons thing) but bc anytime there a new gadget to try, terry will volunteer to use it, and jason will volunteer to 'spar' with terry to test it out. okay, maybe its bc they fight and blow stuff up, but its only ever in the batcave under supervision! "the tim from my dimension actually killed the joker" "no shit? did bruce stop me over there too?" "... about that--" sometimes they grab the others leather jacket by accident and both have given up on caring
Terry and Tim: terry "from the technological future" mcginnis and tim "designs loads of bat tech" drake talk shop, "my younger brother was made robin without my consent" club. tim listens to the works elcectro pop music ever and it just so happens to sound exactly like what they play at terrys favorite club. tim introduces him to (kon or bernard, take your pick) and they hit it off so well that they hang out without tim
Terry and Damian: ace the dog. terry invited damian to his AC island. both are bruce's bio kids and mamas boys. damian calling him "Terrance" and terry never recovering from it. terry knows damian from the future, kind of, and uses that knowledge to his advantage EVERY DAY
Terry and Duke: team "everyone thinks we're the normal one, they are wrong" they totally do movie marathons you cant tell me otherwise, their favorite thing to do is make bets abt the rest of the fam w cass. they never win against her. on any given day you can find them whispering about everyone else "duke, why the fuck were damian and tim staring each other down over breakfast" "hes mad dick said he can't poison him again" "what" "i know i thought they were over it by now"
Terry and Cass: cass sees him for the first time and sees that he rivals tim and dick in terms of being a mess and is determined to bond. terry hears about what she was trained for as a child and shrugs bc "i was supposed to be a second bruce, things change" cass will make him give her piggybacks when shes tired and terry has never dropped her
Terry and Stephanie: the most destructive duo. something happens to their braincells when they patrol together, buildings fall, bones break, civilians are crying, theres about ten minutes where everyone else thinks theyre both dead. they both are waiting at the cave for the others, terry is teching her how to make really shitty friendship bracelets (dana taught him, and stephanie is pretending she doesnt know how). they dont know why everyone else is so stressed "i texted you that we were fine, old man. steph and i just ran into black masks trafficing ring and took care of it-- why is dick crying?"
ALL of them have asked about the future before and the ONLY thing he ever reveals is out of context sayings and trends "yeah actually luigi and bowser have so much chemistry, well, i guess that movie isnt out yet huh" "???" (they think luigi and bowser are a cononical couple in the future and wonder where the world went so wrong) and (while interrogating smon) "watch out, you're not acting like the sigma you are, batman, try rizzing 'im up, then he'll talk."
him and bart meet (everyone tried to keep in from happening) and theyre from similar enough futures that when they talk, not a single person around them can follow it, they teach each other the different versions of different tik tok dances and terry goes back to the manor and teches them to steph, cass sees them do it once and has them memorized, duke thought it was funny, dick thought it was adorable (eventually they ALL know them, and it becomes an inside joke) tims prized possession is a video he got of damian doing the most dispassionate renegade the world has ever seen bc jon asked and he cant say no to him)
TL;DR:
terry mcginnis interacting w the other bat kids has a lot of potential for chaos and family bonding
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trevuorzegras · 6 months
Text
━╋ SHE WAS BORING
✿ umich cheer au part one ⬚͒ㅤㅤㅤ♪
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ⓘ all works for this series can be found on the #wrong time is an inconvenience au tag! ❤︎
fem!reader x mark estapa
mentions of fem!reader x cole sillinger
mentions of mark estapa x fem!oc
faceclaim: jules leblanc
find the series masterlist, here!
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colesillinger
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colesillinger: my girl. ❤️
liked by adamfantilli, bluejacketsnhl, and others
user1: uhh did y/n dye her hair??
↳ yourusername: i very much did not. still very much a brunette. 🙃
↳ user2: wait what? yourusername
user3: i’m so confused
user4: dude did you mean to post this.. cause..
jadewinters: what the fuck??
↳ colesillinger: is there a problem jaden?
jadewinters: watch yourself sillinger.
user5: what is going on??
user6: isn’t y/n back at uni..?
↳ user7: yeah y/n is also NOT A BLONDE.
liked by yourusername
user8: he just openly posted about him cheating.. ok..
user9: y’all act like a man can’t have friends 🤣🤣
↳ user10: they’re kissing, if that’s friends then 💀
user11: interesting.. 🙃
(PINNED) colesillinger: coming at me like i care, she was boring so i traded up 🤷‍♂️
↳ user12: you’re so fucking odd bro
yourusername: good to see where you stand. this definitely could’ve been handled privately; but if this is how you want it, so be it. have a good life, and an amazing nhl career, cole. 🩷
↳ user13: this is actually so upsetting. she’s genuinely too kind to be treated like this.
user14: i thought you guys were end game wtf
adamfantilli: yk i love you dude, but what the fuck is wrong with you bro
↳ user15: even adam knows ts is wrong
this post has been deleted.
yourusername
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yourusername: been a very productive day! 1) got cheated on. 2) went to a hockey game! 3) went to a post hockey party! 4) met some of the team 5) got absolutely shit faced with jadewinters oh! and i took this beautiful picture of dylanduke5
liked by edwards.73, luca.fantilli, and others
(PINNED) yourusername: i have practice tomorrow, and jade let me do this. whatever #goblue 〽️
lhughes_06: i really shouldn’t have left you alone at umich. 💀
↳ yourusername: can’t believe you never introduced me to your team, especially since they’re this fun to be around
↳ lhughes_06: ?? that’s EXACTLY why i didn’t introduce you to them. yourusername
user16: THERES ABSOLUTELY NO WAY
user17: SHE MET THE TEAM?
user18: cheerleader meets hockey players
markestapa: hope to see you again y/n
↳ yourusername: boy i gave you my number
↳ jadewinters: oh did you now 😏 yourusername
lhughes_06: so it’s YOUR fault that y/n met the hockey team. jadewinters
↳ jadewinters: shut up mr nhl
user19: they seem like such a fun group 😭
user20: DUKER 💀
umichcheer: the second slide is correct! (also we’re ignoring the caption.)
↳ yourusername: oh… thanks guys love you
user21: the cheer account being in the comments LMFAO
user22: ETHAN AND MARK
user23: y’all on about the umich guys when y/n is RIGHT THERE HELLO???
liked by yourusername
user24: can’t wait to see more of y/n at the hockey games 🥅🏒〽️
luca.fantilli: OH YEAH
user25: the picture of y/n and jade awe 😭
user26: hope you had fun!
user27: puck bunnie
↳ yourusername: i prefer umich fan but thank you!
↳ user28: LMFOOAOAOOA yourusername
dylanduke5: oh i look dashing!
↳ yourusername: of course you do duker pooker 🥰
edwards.75: me and y/n become bestfriends if anyone is wondering
↳ yourusername: he accidentally drank my drink three times and kept apologizing, + said he’ll be my bestfriend & buy me whatever i want if i forgave him
user29: so many unexpected duos omg
user30: beauty
user31: WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE CAPTION??
↳ user32: SHES SO UNBOTHERED IM CRYING
user33: cole fumbled and she’s living her best life LMFOAOAOA
rutgermcgroarty: no one talk to us we’re doing hot girl shit *hair flip*
↳ yourusername: boy go to BED 😭😭
user34: y/n it’s 3 am. 💀
its 5 am i’m so tired but i wanted to get at least one chapter done since i haven’t really worked on anything recently. find my masterlist, here!!
taglist | @wnderify (comment 2 be added)
also little psa! i love cole, so don’t even start with that please, it’s for the plot guys trust!
241 notes · View notes
tojisun · 8 months
Note
sunnyyy!! omg omg okay so idk what you put in your toxic dbf series but im sure its crack cause i know its freaking hurtful but i love it!! ur mind is >>>>>
alsoooo, i have this idea that i plan on writing for miguel but idk where to start SO IM GIVINF IT TO YOUUU!!
so lets call her bunny in this one. say bunny is enough of his shit, won’t let him do her dirty anymore because she refuses to be stupid. she’s no longer cassie howard and moves on to another man. a man who knows what he wants and who isn’t afraid to let her know that he wants her. he’ll cherish her, he adores the fuck out of her, he shows her off and he makes a promise to put a ring on her finger,
but simon doesn’t like that. not even one bit. and it ticks him off because why is he like this? why is he so worked up that she finds someone who finally treats her better than she can? yet, he can’t let it go. he lets her know. she has to know.
and so, at two am he comes knocking at her door. flowers in his hand, nicely dressed for the first time to let her know that he’s doing it for her and only her. not erin.
and it takes a lot in her to not slam the door in his face because she’s happy right now,
“you look at him the way i wanted to be looked by you, sweetheart” he admits, swallowing the lump in his throat. “and i envy that.”
she stares at him with a deadpan look. not really feeling a single thing anymore, leading him to continue.
“i have no right to say that, i know but—“ he pauses to take a deep breath. “i want to be with you. i want to be your man and i want you to let me”
she doesn’t want him to
ANA?? ANA MY LOVE???? THIS MAKES ME VIOLENTLY ILL
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thinking about this in the dbf!simon series??? oh but im absolutely sobbing // same timeline as this !!
thinking about how you cry and wail and mourn for the years wasted on simon. thinking about the way you crumple on your bed, curling underneath your sheets, your cries now having been reduced to silent tears—this doesn’t mean you feel any better. instead, you feel even more distraught, upset in a way that feels bigger than yourself.
thinking about the promise you make to yourself. how, when the morning breaks, you will move on. that no matter how painful it may be—and it will be—you will strive to let go of simon. truly and completely this time around.
and that’s what you do. you fall asleep in exhaustion, heart heavy and mind buzzed. in the morning, you blink your eyes open and lay in bed for a few more minutes, suspended above your heartbreak, before it all comes crashing down on you. tears trickle from the corners of your eyes but you stay resolute, strong grip corralling your grief into the corner of your heart, before you get your day going.
you start by throwing everything that reminds you of simon: polaroid pictures and framed photos, shirts and clothes and socks and lingeries, towels and bedsheets, trinkets and accessories from across the globe—little souvenirs he’s brought to appease you.
(in the long haul, many of them were actually donated, while some were sold. but today, as you submerged yourself in your heartache, you dumped everything in a black garbage bag. out of sight, out of mind.)
blocking simon’s number actually turned out to be last. you deleted the pictures you have with simon in your phone prior, and then blocked and deleted his number altogether.
you breathed in deeply once you’re finished and collapsed to your bed again, trying to ignore the bareness of the walls and the emptiness of your room (let alone your heart).
the tears come again—they will come more often than not—and you let them. you open the locked corner of your heart and let the grief out. you mourn for what was lost; for what could’ve been. but most importantly, you mourn for the ways you’ve let yourself be trapped in such an unhappy moment.
moving on comes slowly; it comes so torturously that you thought it would never happen. but it does, and it does so during one quiet afternoon.
on that day, you realize that not once did you think of simon. not once did the memories trickle in to rip you away from the jovial present. and as you stand there in your kitchen, the sounds of the microwave beeps piercing through mutedly, you feel remade.
you feel whole, once again.
-
simon noticed, of course. he noticed the way your messages stopped coming in, or the way you no longer use your dad as an excuse to meet simon, or the way you just fell off the radar.
simon tried to reach out to you once and realized that you’ve got his number blocked.
it’s whatever, he thinks. because simon has never known you well, has never tried to learn more about you, so he thinks that this—your silent treatment and your detachment—is all a ploy. something like you playing hard-to-get.
so simon doesn’t think much about it until days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months, and months are slowly building up to turn to a year.
simon doesn’t hear from you and, despite all his posturing, he realizes that he’s missed you. so he decides to drive by to pick you up for dinner and maybe apologize for whatever it is now that he’s done.
he gets to your dorm and rings your room. the intercom scratches awake, the person from the other side, your dorm mate he’s sure, asks who it was, and simon tells them his name. then, he tells them that he’s here for you.
there is silence for a while, almost loaded in a way that simon knows it’s not the intercom breaking up, and he gets his answer when he’s given a curt reply of, “she doesn’t want to see you. bye.” there is the distinct screech and then the line drops before simon could even ask why.
and simon feels lost. untethered.
-
john is a good man. that’s the first thing you realized. it terrified you, at first, how much you looked forward to meeting him. how much of being with him—simon’s friend—makes you happy.
you waited for the other shoe to drop, shoulders perpetually hunched as though that can shield you from the inevitable of john leaving you. of john using you.
but john is so warm. john is so gentle and kind and patient and loving.
john holds your hand and you know he isn’t looking for more. he drops you off at home, tells you to rest well and to say hi to your dorm mates, before taking off on his bike.
john kisses your cheeks and you know he isn’t looking for something more passionate. more heated. and you crave for his touch, yes, but there is something so special in the way john shows his affection—all crinkled smile and quiet chuckles; all whispered words and promises fulfilled; all soft and tender and secure.
it was a love so different, so beautiful, so really it wasn’t surprising at all when your relationship grows, thriving alongside your healing.
(he promised, you know? he promised, as he played with your hand, that he’ll one day put a ring on your finger. your lips wobbled and you told him to stop making loaded promises such as that, but john just turned to you with a soft smile and said, “i look forward to the day we share the same vow, bunny. if you would have me.”
you hiccupped sob and threw your arms over his shoulders, nodding because, “i would. john, i would!”
he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and sharing warmth with you. you burrowed your head on the crook of his shoulder, breathing him in, letting his presence wash over you.
john, you thought. johnjohnjohn.)
-
simon drives to you the day after he confronted john. he drives to you with all of his messy heart spilling from the ridges of his ribs, beating only one name—yours.
he’s never felt this way before. not with all the pretty people he’s gone out with, or his first love, or even erin. erin who simon once imagined a future with. erin who simon once loved. not even that could triumph over the expanding turmoil that simon’s basking in.
he calls on the intercom of your dorm again, begs your roommate that may you please hear him out, and then he sees you.
god, you’re just as beautiful as he remembers.
“love–”
“what’re you doing here?”
your words are soft, quiet, but simon isn’t fooled. he sees the anger in your eyes, the hurt having festered into resentment. he wonders how apologies could trickle from his lips—where to even begin?
“please,” you say when simon’s silence stretches on. “just tell me whatever you want and then leave.”
“this. this is what i’m here for. the anger in your eyes– it’s just–…” he breathes in sharply. “i saw you and john, you know? and the way you look at him, it’s how i want to be looked at by you, love.” he swallows the lump in his throat. “i didn’t know what i had until i lost you and i’m so envious of him, i am, so please.”
you stare at him with wide eyes even when your face is smooth of any emotion. simon wonders what you must be thinking but he bulldozes through, hoping that you can give him one last chance.
he promises this time, truly, he’ll be better.
“i have no right to say this, i know, but–” he pauses to take a deep breath, his fists balled tightly. “i want to be with you. i want to be your man and i want you to let me.”
a heartbeat passes, and then, “simon, you are a selfish, selfish man.”
your words are barely louder than a whisper but they scratch at simon’s heart. he looks at you, gaze turning desperate when he sees nothing but bubbling fury and disappointment in your own.
“how dare you,” you say. “you tell me that you saw me and john, and then what? instead of letting me go, instead of letting me move on, you come in here and demand that i return to you?”
“love, i–”
“don’t call me that!”
your anger tips over, now spilling out. he watches the way your eyes glisten, tears dripping to stain your cheeks.
“i’m not your anything, si! not anymore!” you take in a ragged rasp of air, choking on your sob. it tugs at simon’s heartstrings and he moves to comfort you but you pull away, sneering at him in your anger. you wipe at your eyes, scrubbing furiously.
“everything about what you’ve said just now, everything, was all about your wants. all about you. just like how it’s always been,” you murmur, the fight leaving you.
you looked small, hunching into yourself, and simon is hit with this feeling; something that lodges itself in his throat.
“lov–… i’m sorry,” he says because he is.
gods he is.
“just go,” you tell him, meeting his eyes for one last time because he knows that this is the end of it all.
you turn away from him then, closing the building door behind you. he watches from behind he glass doors as you disappear into the hallways and stepped into the elevators and, just like that, simon’s lost his chance of making things right.
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ANA MY GOD THIS MADE ME FERAL!! i hope u would like this one bb :(( hope i gave ur vision justice
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