#short essay

[th3-past3l-cl0wn]

The portraits of Neha and Elizabeth Beaufort: an analysis

By me

At first glance it was easy to observe the clear inspiration Neha’s portrait had of “the girl with the pearl earring”, however we can somehow feel this when looking at Beaufort’s portrait.

But the deeper we look into their character, the more we realise how opposed they are to each other, representing her inner character.

our first encounters

In both cases, you don’t know them for who they are, but you are introduced by what they are, “the novelty dice maker” and “the gardener”.

You get to later know their names, you might only know one for Neha but it doesn’t distance you from her, quite the opposite it feels like a nickname.

Learning Elizabeth Beaufort’s full name distances you from her, she is now a title, a figure of authority.

Neha is hidden, and if you wish you can even decide to go the whole game without seeing or talking to her. But Beaufort? She is centric to the story, you have to talk to her, she is one of the first characters you see when you go outside, one of the first that helps you in the examination process with the ammonia and gardening gloves.

the girl with the pearl earring

while we can see it clearly for Neha, it feels more vague for Elizabeth.

Neha’s head covering is worn in a more modest and classical manner, her pose practically identical to the reference, she symbolizes the “old” what was once. An art piece and aspiring individual of her time. The way her portrait is painted is very academic, there is very little use of dark outline if ever. Everything about it is almost soft and comforting.

In contrast Beaufort’s portrait adopts a widely different, almost provocative pose, the way she wears the headgear covering less for instance but attaching her hair, prioritizing practicality over appearances. There is a more modern touch to her portrait, the colours are saturated and there is a bold dark outline, she is defying the traditional. She represents the “youth” of Martinaise.

While Neha resembles almost identically to the portrait, Beaufort distances herself from it, the past but still she finds a way to keep a part of it, what made her what she is, and then turn it into something personal.

In both of their portraits, the background is applied similarly for the taints and almost like they were mirrored vertically, however Neha’s are softer, almost like they are fading away, while Beaufort’s are high in contrast.

the postures

The novelty dice maker, upon your first meeting with her, is turned away from you, she’s working, she stills open herself to you, as she presents her arts and studio in an almost familiar way. You enter her domain of creation, you’re inside her soul. Maybe you could picture it sort of like a confessional, there is intimacy between the two of them and they won't necessarily need to face each other. She looks at you from the side, seemingly making you feel as though you were disturbing her, and yet she is not. But she stills look at you from above, this could be referring to the fact she was up, high in her workshop’s room while the crime scene was unfolding, not only this but she “disregarded” it when it was happening, as she had one of the best view on it, and yet stayed absorbed by her art.

On the other hand, Beaufort is facing forward all time, she’s observing your every move, she looks up at you, from beneath it is easier to see all (visual calculus check “gardening in march”, you point out the fact she is stationed at the best spot to keep tabs of people). She looks at you with an interrogative expression, she was expecting you to be here, to talk to her. She shields herself from you when she crosses her arms or when she hides her real identity from you at the start by going as “the gardener”, she makes you believe that you are someone above her, and you believe it. She is always in a public space, never once alone, she is either outside or in the Whirling-in-rags. There is no intimacy, if even a way to talk to her as “Elizabeth” instead she is “a member of the union”, this could also be reflected in her looking upward, as stated earlier, as she is in the middle of a hierarchy in the Union. Her purpose is to exonerate the Union of the presumed crime, “the Union fixer”. She is cleaning up the mess caused by the Union’s dogs. Even if there is a “box” reminding of a confessional where the Hardie boys stay, it is, not only a long process to get them to confess, she is the first to stop them when they open up, but you are also constantly observed by the public, not only her but the people at the Whirling.

Knowing this, Neha also found herself “shielded” by the entrance of her studio, though it served an entirely different purpose as it can always be opened. Beaufort wears different masks that you can’t take off as you talk to her, but rather break by any new dialogues you have surrounding the case, there is no way to get under her skin without making her reach a breaking point. They are facing opposite directions, Neha leaned toward the past, Beaufort toward the future, but they both look in your direction: the present.

No matter their difference, both of them wear blue clothes, this reflecting their social class, they're both born blue collars, even if Beaufort wears a white shirt, representing the purity of her youth and her future aspirations, she works for the union, the symbol of the working class, she represent them on a legal point of view, as a lawyer. Her jean strapped overall partially visible in her portrait also can remind of a tank top, or “débardeur”, which could be an echo to the organization she works closely with, the dockworkers union” or “débardeurs’ union”. Elizabth’s softer features in comparison to Neha’s sharper ones also amplifies this duality of “youth” vs the “old”.

the lightings

Beaufort’s portrait shows a significant amount of green on her forehead, associating blue and yellow, blue symbolizing intellectual skills and yellow motorics, this is her mindset. However the right side of her face is lit in dark red, which can be associated with physique skills, indicating her short temper she tries to hide. The fact it is cast on the right side of her face could imply that it is her “real” face, what is “right”. In her eyes and her nose you can also see a reflexion of light that Neha doesn’t have, echoing to her “ bright and hopeful” futur, the fact she is highly regarded by her peers, but also maybe her more emotive tendencies, not in a derogatory way, but more in a youthful ardor, defending her ideals.

For Neha, her yellow, we could even say gold lighting highlights what she is handling right now, her works, her art, that is what is important to her, she is what she creates, her face being cast in the shadow. This choice of colour for the light might be associated with motorics skills knowing she is a dicemaker. The light could also represent the future ahead, the change in the world, the “miracle – from the northwest”. She is averting her gaze from it. It is too late for her.

[desifleabag]

My study table gives me so much motivation that sometimes I forget to look up and read these notes

[abyssalshriek]

With the new song with translated lyrics, "Three Wishes" from Now or Never Seven (the collab group between the Squid Sisters, Off the Hook, and Deep Cut), I think it is clear why each group chose the team they did, and not just because they go in order of their games.

Starting with the Squid Sisters of Team Past, they clearly value the past and how it shapes the present and future. They mention how the rocky journey they've shared has brought them to where they are now. They mention how all the help they give out to other artists are seeds that will take time to grow. And we've seen this philosophy from them before in the the interview stating Wave Goodbye was intended as a tribute to the humans that came before them, an acknowledgement of the past that shaped their present and will shape their future.

Now, for Off the Hook of Team Present. They are together, today. They live in today. They'll do and experience what they want, today. The past may have brought them together, and the future is where they're going, but the present is where they and their feelings are. They want to seize the moment, loving each other in the here and now. I know discussion of shipping can annoy some people, but through all their dialogue throughout the franchise, even Pearlina's greatest detractors can at minimum acknowledge they clearly care for each other a great deal, and they live in the moment so they can be with each other now, in the moment.

Next, we end with Deep Cut on Team Future. They've always been shown as very goal oriented, with their focus during Rise of the Mammalians being on getting the treasures. They look to the future because what they want is there, and that is where they will find it. They may not be as big as the Squid Sisters or Off the Hook yet, but that's where they're going. They will be big in the future, they'll continue to get treasure for the Splatlands in the future, and they'll keep racing towards it and all the mysteries that await in the future.

If the Grandfest is really the send-off for this part of Splatoon, if we really will move on to new regions and characters, much like other franchises like Pokemon or Fire Emblem do, then this song is a great finale for these groups. We see each of their bonds and how it carried them to now and will continue to carry them forward. They and all the characters we love will be missed, and even if I'm certain we will still see more of them in the future, as a closure to this chapter, despite the bumpy rides getting here, it's a wonderful finale, and will make for a grand fest.

[love-ardour-anarchism]

manipulation is a social construct i think a lot of neurodivergent people struggle with thinking themselves to be manipulative in social situations and i've been thinking about why

manipulation is a social construct society tends to think of manipulation as a bad, malicious and evil thing what is manipulation? most people would probably define it as "trying to impact a person or situation indirectly or covertly / without expressive open statement"

and societally agreed is: thats bad. ... ... ... ... unless its polite unless its an agreed upon (never spoken, never stated, never affirmed) social rule that a specific kind of manipulation is okay and actually good and expected of you.

i think a lot of neurodivergent people take the literal / textbook definition of "manipulation" and then find themselves thinking that any indirect or covert attempt to impact a situation or person is that: manipulation = bad.

but society is so contradictory that it simply chooses to ignore the definition that it itself wrote and coined.

manipulation is bad. being indirect is bad. unless being direct is impolite or rude. unless a social script that would, by textbook definition, be considered manipulation, is considered good and polite.

and sometimes its polite and good UNTIL you get caught. sometimes its considered good and polite as long as you're good enough at concealing your attempts to indirectly and covertly impact situations and people but then if you get caught it was, per definition, always bad that you did that (until the next time when you're expected to attempt the same thing again and try to not get caught again).

[a-confused-spoon]

TDP s6: Soren, Viren and missing the point (2/2)

(jesus christ did I write a lot for this one...)

SPOILERS FOR THE DRAGON PRINCE S6!

*sigh*

I want to make a little disclaimer here: my feelings towards Viren were always a bit mixed- I loved the writing of him, but I loved to see him suffer more.

I would have been fine with him dying just as well as living, even if I didn’t love how quick his flip was in s4 (particularly ep2), the same way I’m not in love with how the most recent season seems to gloss over the weight of what the man did in book 1, 2 and 3, even in the scenes where he tries to take accountability: it’s not just the use of dark magic, misleading Claudia or the mistreatment Soren; he got 2 rulers killed, forced a fiery-transformation spell on thousands of soldiers who didn’t want to partake in it, was willing to put an egg before his son’s life, sealed the souls of people in coins etc.

Even if his redemption had continued (as in, had he kept breathing), I personally would have preferred for him to not get a happily forever after with his family, but something more of a "open ending" or whatnot.

However

I can't shake this feeling that The Mystery of Aaravos has a tendency of prioritizing very well-built and executed single scenes with intense emotion over overarching thematic consistency and overall character growth (the number of shenanigans that amounts to nothing in said two regards being exhibit A, but of course those two things don't exclude the other), and while it's a MASSIVE improvement over book 4 and 5, book 6 still has its issues.

While indeed apologizing to who he has hurt isn’t nearly enough for his journey to be (nor feel) “complete”, it’s also true that Viren isn’t given the possibility to do much else to begin with, despite being the first (and so far only) villain to do a complete 180 and check all the boxes of the ‘big no-no’ list the story presents us with when it comes to morality and/or ethics.

I want to explain my point of view the best way I possibly can, so stick with me for a minute:

The characters of the series (or, well, those who don’t belong to the cosmos) exist in a historical context led by a narrative of power that chains them to a never-ending cycle of violence; the use of dark magic plays a big role in said cycle, not only as an active part of it from the human side, but also because the very practice is on its own an incentive to use it more and more frequently, which is a very similar relationship people have with power in general.

What the “good guys” of the story do, as a matter of fact, is break the cycle by putting an end to the narrative of power and replacing it with one of love, ‘cause as we learn in book 2, real strength means being able to choose love, vulnerability and forgiveness, even if that’s not what they’ve been taught all their lives. Only then they can break free of the chains of history; additionally, for said history to not repeat itself, dark magic needs to be abandoned, even in tough circumstances (unless Sol Regem pulls up in Katolis, but I digress) given the detrimental effects on the long run- and with Xadia and humanity at peace with one another and ideally living in harmony, it wouldn’t be needed at all.

Therefore, the list of ‘big no-no’ here is: don’t do dark magic, don’t pursuit power as opposed to love, don’t let history define your perception of the world.

All the “bad guys” of the story are either unwilling or unable to do one or more of those things: Karim can’t for the life of him look past history, Claudia isn’t able to give up dark magic (for now, at least not without guidance), Finnegrin had no intention of giving up the power he held over his crew- and Aaravos deliberately chose to find purpose in the immediate anger he felt during Leola’s trial (consequently engaging in the centuries old cycle of violence in all its ugliness), instead of giving in to the love he has for his daughter and pass away alongside her, resulting in Leola being left alone and scared throughout the horrible process (and also the whole world going through some crazy shit).

Then there’s Viren, who used to rely on dark magic (unlike Karim), pursue power (unlike Claudia) and look at things through the lenses of history (unlike Finnegrin), so he was a bad guy in all possible aspects.

Eventually though, he manages to successfully give up dark magic and choose love over power and refuse the chains of history (as shown both in his relationship with Terry and his willingness to serve King Ezran), with no expectations of mercy or forgiveness... and literally nothing comes of it because the other characters don’t give him the possibility to act on any of said changes, aside from doing one thing that gets him killed.

So it’s “we gain nothing if we don’t give the chance to learn and grow” (or whatever Amaya said in s4) until...? It's "it's never too late if you quit" or whatever Rayla says in ep3 unless...?

I’d love to agree on the “it’s too late” argument, but aside it going against the very principle of the story, even the awful things he did that I mentioned don’t really matter by the time s6 ends: Lain and Tiadrin are happly together and got to say goodbye to their daughter, and she herself chose to save Runaan instead; the fiery-transformation turns out to be temporary, no one seems to even remember that Eveneere and Del Bar exist etc. The only thing that still has an effect is Lux Aurea becoming unhabitable, yet the only character who gives some weight to said tragedy is portrayed as an idiotic bitter nobody (aka Karim) who should just look past it and take a chance on the elven-human camp. So exactly how am I supposed to care? *

I already talked extensively about the theme of forgiveness in part 1 of this essay (if I can call it that), but the point is that the story shouldn't pick and choose who gets rewarded and understood when acting according to the moral of the story and who doesn't even get a chance at getting a second chance while trying to do the exact same thing, not when the very thematic premise of said story automatically puts EVERYONE into perspective- because if it's the lies of history that chain them to a narrative of power, misleading them, and those started way before the characters were even born, then the conversation unfortunately but necessarily needs to include the perpetrators of violence too; they too were misled, therefore they too can unlearn what they've been taught (which Viren does) and should get a chance to really live a life spent on being a better person, not because they may “deserve it” or because it might not be "too late", but simply because they have the CAPACITY to do good, if they choose to.

A show that really nails this point (to me) is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, which frankly I'm not even that big of a fan of... speaking of which, if Viren was always meant to die sacrificing himself without no one's recognition, it probably would have been better for him to pull a Shadow Weaver ftom the beginning.

(I don't mean this as a comparison, it's just a way for me to lay down all the elements that I belive ultimately don't work or don't help)

For those who aren’t familiar (MAJOR SPOILERS), Shadow Weaver in She-Ra is for the most part what a lot of Viren haters think Viren is in The Dragon Prince: a magic user that loves power, traumatizing the children she grows and nothing else. She doesn’t even have a greater good she intensely believes in to explain her actions and behaviors like Viren does- she’s just a massive bitch. And she doesn’t really grow or learn during the series, it’s just that at some point hanging around the good guys becomes more convenient for her... if I’m not mistaken, she doesn’t even do much unless someone comes to her spontaneously, aside gardening. At no point in time she becomes really trust worthy or good, and it’s always looming in the air whether or not she’s even beginning to be, or will ever be for that matter.

This goes on for like, 3 seasons, until at the very end- and I mean the very end (like, last episode very end) she does one good thing, sacrificing herself to save the two girls she abused the most throughout the series, which leads to her death.

What really sells the scene (leaving out the music, the animation, the dialogue, the voice acting- all of it is just *chef’s kiss*), it’s the fact that:

Her final words to Catra, who she abused the most, really feel like they put a period at the end of a sentence; it feels like closure, you feel that both her and Adora can now move on;

It’s a deliberate choice, because she had the option of staying safe and not do it, and still did;

She dies at peace with herself, and seemingly proud of herself for making that good action too;

Her death isn't the conclusion of an arc nor it comes out of nowhere, because of the general uncertainty regarding her character that precedes that moment

I talked about closure and 'moving on' in the first part of this essay when talking about Soren (which I'm now realizing was a lot shorter, lol), so I’ll move on to everything else.

The point of him dying can’t be about being selfless, because Viren always was selfless for what he thought was right: he was willing to swap bodies with Harrow, he went back to fight Avazandum when the Queens of Duren went to face the dragon alone, when Aaravos tells him he might die going in Lux Aurea he went anyways etc. Not to mention how Soren, of all people, asks him to do dark magic, of all things, so that he can… help… people… mh, now where have I heard this before? I’m sorry- wasn’t using dark magic for the sake of protecting humanity literally what got most problems started? The source of so much conflict and pain and death? A practice that wasn’t worth doing due to the detrimental effects on the long run, even when if people were going through tough times? Literally what Viren did and received a lot of shit for when he was a full-on villain? By all means, if you find it poetic, that’s great! In my opinion it’s a bit weird: if the show wants to make a point, then it should stick to it;

Viren's literally a shell of his former self, from the very moment he steps into the castle. Sure, knowing about Claudia’s state and the part he played in it wouldn’t make anyone sleep at night, but to have him so desperate, unseen and unheard once he finally picks a path "of truth" as opposed to one of darkness really wasn’t... the best. Like, my own bias against the “redeemed character dying/character searching redemption dying before getting to the end of it” trope aside, not even while dying he seems to reach some kind of inner peace. And when Soren comes into his cell, even then, when it’s his chance to prove that he is committed to this new life path he’s still unsure and scared- Soren had to insist for Viren to step in and help. As if he didn’t really know what to do with himself;

I didn’t hope Viren could build a better life for himself because the idea felt right to me, but because for two whole seasons and a half that’s the direction his character was taking, and the fact that his journey ultimately doesn’t come to a proper end isn’t even drìirectly on him just pisses me off. So much time spent on showing Viren’s progress for what feels like nothing... if not setting up Claudia to be Aaravos's new daughter and giving Soren even more trauma to deal with :D

I didn't want Viren to receive a mere slap on the wrist of course, but I also didn't want his journey to be... this. It feels incomplete, partial, and we didn't even get the final conversation he has with Soren about sacrificing his own heart instead of his son's before saying goodbye- which may have single handedly fixed most of what I said (in part 1 more than here, but still).

[ edit: I’m adding this part because I’m only now thinking about this, and I believe it’s worth mentioning.

As I said at the beginning, I do take issue with how Viren’s journey only considers the damage he made on an interpersonal level as opposed to what he caused on a macro-scale. Had his progress continued only with what the second act of the show bothered to explore so far, I’d still have many complaints, just of different nature.

Because of what I mentioned here though (*) and, again, after two seasons and a half of giving all the impressions that there was a light at the end of the tunnel for him after all, I think that it would have been nice for said things to at least be acknowledged once he got back to Katolis, instead of just making a vague matter of deserving or not deserving mercy, as this is the very logic that keeps cycles of violence going. I do know that’s what they are referring to of course, but I still think it should have been an actual part of the conversation; I briefly mentioned this in part 1/2: I would’ve loved for Soren to be the one to call him out on it, especially the ‘leaving Claudia behind’ bit, in a “You can fool yourself into thinking that you’ve changed, but you can’t fool me, not anymore” fashion of sorts.

This still doesn’t mean that a redemption was impossible to begin with imo. I think that there might be a common assumption that redeeming a character means having them join the main team, which isn’t always the case, it just happens to be the most recurring one.

Idealistically, what I think could have been an ‘okay’ solution (I am talking only in utopistic terms here, though I don’t think it would’ve been impossible to pull off in the actual show- but it would have been admittedly very difficult considering the number of episodes per season) would have been for 2 episodes to be mostly focused on choosing how to go about it:

The first one having the main team arguing with each other before coming to the agreement of sticking to their principles despite not liking the situation one bit (but you know, had it been an easy choice then the efforts at peace would’ve started a lot sooner than the actual events of the show);

The second where the pentarchy, the Sunfire Queen and the Dragon Queen have a meeting, so that they can all have their say on the matter, given that they too were directly or indirectly affected by the man; the meeting is full of tension, there’s shouting, there’s calling each other ‘traitors’ and ‘hypocrites’- generally it really puts to the test how much of the world really is committed to the cause and how much of it isn’t ready to move on, but ultimately they begrudgingly come to the conclusion that there’s obviously a series of restrictions that need to be imposed on the man, while still not completely preventing him from doing his part if he truly means to prove his change. Things like: he cannot put foot into Xadia without the surveillance of dragons (preferably Phyrrah plus a couple more) and/or maybe the drake tamers of s4 lead by Rayla (who Viren is terrified by, so she’s perfect for the job), and when he’s in the human side of the land he still must be guarded 24/7 by at least 5 trained guards; he must find a spell to try to undo the corruption of Lux Aurea, but he’s not allowed to touch any source of magic without being openly granted the possibility to by Callum (who’s now in a higher position); anything he might suggest will be discussed among the council etc… how much of this changes in the course of time and how much people are willing to trust him can either change or not change, depending on whatever follows (even if this list is just hypothetical).

Also, in light of this very recent interview:

I want to be very clear: all I’m saying in these two posts is limited to the immediate effect of s6, and if the following season (or, hopefully, seasons) manages to handle things in such a way that it’ll make me eat my words, I’ll be unbelievably happy. This show means so much to me, and I’m only critical of it only because I feel like the second act of the story doesn’t do quite justice to all that the first one laid out: TDP used to be a hyper-fixation for me and it was the saving grace that got me out of the depression loop after Voltron’s ending, so anything that can get me back into that level on investment will make me cry happy tears.

This being said

I do wonder what the whole point of Viren’s journey of this season and the prior two was if the character is deemed irredeemable by the creators themselves, especially since Soren doesn’t get closure, Claudia only gets more trauma, and Viren doesn’t even die somewhat proud knowing that he did what he could manage to in the little time he had in Katolis after so long (as I said earlier), so no one gets much out of it if not more angst… which is always welcomed, if done with a valid point.

If said purpose was just so that his passing could influence his children’s arcs and therefore being there in function of other characters, the entire thing in retrospect feels like a bit of a waste of time, given that the same exact outcome could have been achieved without him being around in this last season at all: just have Claudia come back home to figure what to do next instead of seeing her dad again; she even has the Sunfire scepter thingie to do the spell from s3, so no one needs to die of poorly executed surgery. And then she can just, find the pearl and cave to Aaravos’s temptation, as he does claim he can revive him again anyways. That, plus I’m dying to have Claudia and her brother talk again after in s4 ☹.

…so yeah, like, on a scale from a VLD Lotor frustration to an MLB Chloe Bourgeois frustration, I’m sort of in the middle with Viren. But I do like that there’s a lot of conversation on the topic ]

CONCLUSION: Despite everything, s6 is the first season I actually enjoyed since s3, though it is still not quite at the same level to me, and while I have my problems with it and I'm very saddend that the Viren and Soren thing is among those, I'm acutally very happy that a lot of people enjoy it and that the fandom is ecstatic. It just wasn't for me- but I still had a fun time writing this two parter :)

Thanks to anyone who got 'till the end of this, I really appreciate it! <3

[ishratmumtaz]

In the movies, an ending is always a happy ending unlike real life that’s why I loathe these romantic comedies and sweet stories. It’s all unrealistic. What’s real is the tragedian genre. The ones that show you that at the end you don’t always get someone you love, or you lose a dream that you passionately wanted because that is what real life is all about.

It doesn’t work in a straight line. It has its turnovers. It has its own plans which sometimes doesn’t align with yours.

[gallowscalibr8]

What people need to realize is that the reason that Homestuck's sessions are all so consistent is because they are all doomed to be basically the SAME session, and skaia knew this, So consistency was required.

It was always meant to be June's session that wins, everything was built up to it. That's the reason that FedoraFreak dies, not because of a lack of players, because he was never meant to live. If fedorafreak lived, he would have been important. This is also when it starts getting meta. If you are important to skaia, you are also oftentimes important to the story, and thus important to Hussie, or the green sun. That's why its death of the author and destruction of the green sun is so important. Its a revolt against that. It is a revolt for every human, troll, and carapician that died for no reason in homestuck, because it isn't fair. They're just kids. None of this was fair. Earth-C is the greatest revolt against the narrative, and skaia. That's also what makes Ult!dirk an amazing villain, because he WANTS the narrative. He strives to have the same position that hussie, skaia, the green sun, etc. held, because there was purpose then. A life without purpose and narrative to him is not a life to live.

[thatsingingpsycho]

Short love affairs can leave you feeling less justified in your grief because they were never supposed to be serious. You may spend days in retrospect dissecting the shadow side of passion, the self-delusion, the neuroses, or the role of misplaced optimism in ill-fated partnerships. I don't know. I want to blame the human pressure to find serious connection within casual bonds, but it's not to blame either. It's me; begging and praying for almost a year to be able to feel something for someone again. Now that it's possible—I spend days trying to make peace with the fact that someone who'll make you feel human again probably won't be able to stay in your life. I should've known the risk of what I was asking for. Now I have to live with it and be grateful that I've got what I asked for. Also, to realize that wanting to love again sometimes means having to hurt.

[americangrove]

79 Carolinian: Figures in the Land

I was startled by the rapaciousness of the passenger next to me, the way he leaned into his takeout food assuring every crumb of chip, shred of cheese and grain of rice was devoured. The remnant container, spent wrappers and stained tissues he balled up, compacted into one, and put to the side. He swept off his seat tray. He took out his laptop. Then he turned his appetite to his work. He leaned into a slide presentation of circles, some red some blue. In each he added pictures of politicians who seemed to fit as well inside either circle as his food had in its packaging. I thought to get into a similar mood: lean in, engage, consume, move on. But I could not—so often I halt, detour, rest, ponder, backtrack as if these were the main moves of my work, which in a way they are because what I work on does the same. Even at a steady 52 miles per hour landscape halts outside the window. All only seems to veer towards abstraction but I see the many figures along the way that leap into stillness and in the half seconds that I see them they are overlaid with decades…

—in a vanishing midground a wolf tree’s outspread arms catch me as they stay raised in resistance to the forest of sticks arising around it. It is the only remnant of a house and field that once were there. In the spot (already out of sight) I can see the dream of an 1868 article from the Southern Cultivator, “Our Home”, which urged its readers to “develop the aesthetic” of a homeplace by “spar[ing] the trees” close to the house and organizing them—“We want large trees to overtower, or lead diminishing groups—to stand out singly to wave their strong arms in the winds, and break out the broad sun-light of heaven.” The tree still waves, but the broad-light of heaven lessens around it a little more each year. 

—miles down the track an abandoned farmhouse still stands intact, surrounded by working fields which that house’s family once owned but long since sold to a larger operation. Imagining the generation or two that tried to hold onto that land I think about an essay in the 1852 issue of the Southern Quarterly Review whose writer hoped that “under the improved systems of agriculture” old worn lands “might become quite as valuable as the virgin soil, which is now for the first time, relieved from the shadows of the primeval forest, by the axe of the sturdy pioneer.” And these new “improved systems” of farming (fertilizers, crop rotation, etc.,) did make it possible for farmers to stay on the land rather than just exhaust it and move to “virgin soil” but only for a while longer before the land was exhausted again and then the next “improved systems” of farming (tractors, better fertilizers, pesticides) came but was too expensive for a small holder to implement so they sold.

And many such other “figures” arose along the way: a fire behind a trailer seemed a remnant of Southern burn culture only slowly reigniting these days, a plantation of loblolly stood firm where longleaf once presided and floating in the canals that run beside the rails are the voices of so many calls to drain land that despite such efforts still fill with water. 

I have taken the 79 Carolinian from Washington DC to North Carolina about once if not twice a month since fall. And still the journey does not get old. Still my neck hurts when I disembark at Rocky Mount because I turned my head so much from window to book, window to screen, window to my hands as my sight, my learning, and my life all shift the flow of the journey into something other than A to B, start to finish, even something more than a stable figure ground distinction, for on my next journey what stood out to me prior may very likely recede as something else, a background before comes toward me next and makes me halt awhile in a moment of understanding this land.

[greetingscowpoke]

As someone who has always found antagonists to be incredibly compelling within a narrative, l've spent some time really looking into some of the elements the writers and developers used in the creation of Red Dead Redemption 2's antagonist Micah Bell.

One of the first things that stood out to me about Micah was the title of one of his main missions, "Blessed are the.... Meek?"

The naming of this quest is significant in several ways. First, it's a clear nod to the biblical verse Matthew 5:5, which reads:

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."

This verse implies that through gentleness, humility, and virtue one can be deserving and worthy of God's favor-in simpler terms: those who are righteous and good will receive a reward. They will win, in the end.

It's particularly interesting that this is the quest that gives us our first real solo interaction with Micah as a character, as well as setting the stage for future events in the story. From what we can tell of Micah thus far, he is anything but meek. Micah lives by his own rules, and shows little regard for others. He is the antithesis of gentleness-which is made abundantly clear as he thoughtlessly and impulsively ropes the player into shooting up half of Strawberry.

The quest title presents a level of irony and foreshadowing of Micah as a character. Micah is not meek, though in contrast one could argue that protagonist Arthur has many instances where he is the example of virtue and honor. By this logic, Arthur's honor should be rewarded, right?

However, that’s not what happens. Rather, at the conclusion of Arthur's arc we see him lose everything—his dreams, his family, and his own life. And we see Micah Bell walk away, alive…. in one of the most heartbreaking character endings in video game history.

Another interesting character design choice of Micah comes from classic western film tropes. In classic Westerns, the heroes were seen wearing white or light colored hats— in contrast, the villains were seen in dark colors, such as black. This was a simple technique used to signal to the audience who was good and who was bad in the story.

In Red Dead, we see a subversion of this trope. Arthur wears a black hat, and Micah (our antagonist) wears a white hat. This is a subtle foreshadowing that despite everything pointing to Micah being the villain, he may still be victorious in this story.

This example illustrates a theme that despite someone's virtue and honor, they may still suffer. Sometimes, justice does not prevail— at least not in the ways we expect. And while it is a tragedy, it is also a poignant exploration of what it means to be human.

[jambam03]

i LOVE it when comedy/horror films build up tension just to destroy it dramatically, intentionally confusing the audience with many different tones; even though they aren't alike at all, i think nerdy prudes must die (NPMD) and many radio tv solutions (RTVS) streams/bits are masterclasses at this sort of form!!!

in NPMD, i mostly see richie's 'arc' as being the center point of the tension. he announces to the audience that he's dead, but this idea is quickly eclipsed as the show goes on. richie finds friends and his place once jagerman is 'gone', and the tone begins to feel eerily comfortable. when he says he loves being alive, all this anxious positivity bursts as the audience remembers his fate, and this creates a really unique atmosphere of both comedy and despair.

i could cite many RTVS bits here, but i'll just talk about breaking bad vr (BBVRAI) since it was so recent. everything RTVS does online, on and off stream, is part of their performance (duh). all of the producers/contributors of BBVRAI pushed a very obscured narrative about what the stream would be up to and on the day of the stream. in building this hype and attracting this attention, they equally built tension, and even when the stream started, they continued to build this heightened emotion until the stream title rolled. the title screen, for lack of a better term, "popped" the tension, eliciting mixed tones of comedy, disappointment/excitement, confusion, etc.

this is an interesting choice by the production teams of both NPMD and BBVRAI in that it achieves generally the same result; the audience's emotions are built to be disrupted. this disruption is intentional, and it is meant to confuse/shock/hurt/surprise/etc. it works SO WELL in horror and comedy because those emotions i listed are critical to the genres.

if you read this far, thanks :) my tumblr is kind of turning into my springboard for all the drafty analytical thoughts my little english major brain has :)

[desifleabag]

Agar meri shaadi kisi tumblr wale ladke ke sath hogayi Maa kasam Maine sab mutuals ko bulana hai shaadi mai

[mikubinderfanatic]

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?: Queer Representation in Popular Culture, Fanfictions, and Hamilton AUs

Queer fanworks offer a unique lens through which to examine the limitations of LGBTQ+ representation in popular culture. While mainstream media often sidelines or subtextually hints at queerness without explicit acknowledgement, fan communities actively reclaim and reimagine narratives to center LGBTQ+ identities. God Save Our Foolish Sons by TheInevitableSense, a fanfiction based on Hamilton, and the Thomas Jefferson character sheet fanart affectionately dubbed Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson by the internet, created by Tumblr artist ask-crammaster-ham aka Umbrony, both show this phenomenon by queering historical figures and reshaping them through a contemporary lens. 

Hamilton: An American Musical, created by Lin Manuel Miranda, became a cultural phenomenon due to its innovative blend of hip-hop, R&B, and traditional Broadway music and its diverse casting of historically white figures. Premiering in 2015, the show reimagines the life of Alexander Hamilton and the founding of America through what Miranda describes as “America then, told by America now.” Hamilton was an immediate success, winning several awards and redefining historical storytelling for contemporary audiences. However, while it offers a modernized and racially inclusive interpretation of history, the musical largely avoids explicit queer representation, leaving fan communities to fill in the gaps. 

God Save Our Foolish Sons by TheInevitableSense is an Alternate Universe (AU) Hamilton fanfiction that reimagines the American Revolution within the framework of modern gang warfare. The story is set in NYC, where two rival factions, the Redcoats led by the ruthless leader George King (a stand-in for King George III), and the Sons of Liberty, led by George Washington, are locked in an escalating conflict. The NYPD, unable to control the violence, enlists the help of the FBI. FBI Agents Thomas Jefferson and James Madison are sent to investigate and put an end to the war. However, their mission gets complicated when Jefferson begins to form a connection with Alexander Hamilton, a fiery young member of the Sons of Liberty. What follows is a complex enemies to lovers slow burn romance between Jefferson and Hamilton, set against a backdrop of political maneuvering, gang violence, and personal struggles with identity and morality. The fic explores queerness, internalized homophobia and a liberal interpretation of history, featuring a large cast of Hamilton characters adapted to a gritty, contemporary setting. 

The Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson art originates from a character sheet created by the Tumblr askblog ask-crammaster-ham in September 2017. Run by fan artist Umbrony, the blog reimagined characters from the Hamilton musical in a modern college setting. The depiction of Thomas Jefferson, styled after Daveed Diggs’ portrayal in the musical, presented him as a transgender, bisexual art major obsessed with anime, taking Japanese lessons, and wearing a chest binder adorned with Hatsune Miku. The character sheet also included headcanons such as being a former drug dealer to John Laurens, and having a past cocaine addiction. Jefferson’s shirt, reading, “I met God. She’s Black.” was another focal point to the piece. This portrayal gained significant attention, sparking controversy that led to the blog being promptly shut down less than a month after its creation. 

Fanworks like God Save Our Foolish Sons and the Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson art show how queer communties reclaim and reinterpret mainstream narratives to create space for LGBTQ+ identities. As Jeremy Brett argues in “I Put Myself Back in the Narrative, " Hamilton itself functions as a form of fanfiction, reshaping history through a contemporary lens to center marginalized voices. However, despite its casting and musical stylization, Hamilton largely avoids explicit queerness, leaving gaps that fan creators eagerly fill. God Save Our Foolish Sons builds on this foundation, transforming the Founding Fathers into characters within a modern gang narrative where queerness is not just implied but explicitly explored. This shows the broader function of queer fanfiction, which serves as both a critique of and an expansion on mainstream media, providing representation where it is otherwise lacking. Similarly, Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson operates as a radical reimagining of history. Christopher Michael Roman’s analysis of queer representation in Wolverine in Comics and Fanfiction shows how fanworks transform subtext into explicit queerness, allowing audiences to see themselves reflected in beloved characters. Umbrony echoes a similar response when she was criticized, stating in an Instagram post that, “Lin himself has said that Hamilton is a retelling of ‘America THEN’ by ‘America NOW’, so it’s only right we get representation for everyone. There’s literally TONS of trans versions of Alexander Hamilton and they get little to no hate.” This attitude displays a broader trend within the fandom where artists and writers often separate Hamilton’s characters from their historical counterparts entirely, a creative decision that remains the subject of debate. Both God Save Our Foolish Sons and Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson demonstrate how fan communities engage with queerness in ways that mainstream media, even progressive works like Hamilton, often fail to do. Ultimately, Hamilton fanworks reflect a broader desire for personal identification with media, particularly among queer people who often lack representation in mainstream media. The musical provided a progressive foundation, but fan creators have expanded upon it to explore identities and narratives left unaddressed in the original work, whether the internet agrees with it or not.

[a-confused-spoon]

TDP s6: Soren, Viren and missing the point (1/2)

I’ve seen some discussion surrounding the topic of whether or not book 6 of The Dragon Prince did justice to the complicated relationship between the male components of the mage fam, and as someone who fell in love with the writing of the show (in the first three seasons), as well as someone who relates to Soren’s struggle with Viren, I wanted to share my two cents. Of course, those are filtered through my very own lens, so none of what I’m going to say is ill intended or means to be disrespectful to the writers, cast, crew or fans that enjoyed what we got in book 6. I just really want to share my own thoughts because the direction this show has been taking these past few years is eating me up alive😊

*clears throat*

SPOILERS FOR THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 6!

What I find really frustrating and unsatisfying is that the scenes of confrontation between father and son that we got in s6 are done in a way that seemingly wants to punish Viren more than it wants to empower Soren- even though the scenes taken singularly are extremely well done, from the voice acting to the animation to the mood of it all... the problem arises only when looking at things according to the very principles the series tries to convey.

Just so that we’re all on the same boat here: the core theme of the series is the difference between power and true strength, and more specifically how the latter comes in the shape of only apparent weaknesses, such as love, vulnerability and forgiveness- all things that ultimately aim at connection.

Here’s the thing:

While yes, acting or not acting this way is a personal choice, Soren doesn’t really seem to choose to not to forgive Viren; rather he’s portrayed as uncapable of doing the opposite, meaning that he isn't really given the chance to be ‘strong’ according to the series’ values. It's one thing to say that Soren doesn't forgive his dad despite the change Viren went through because Soren doesn't owe him that, but it's a whole other thing to say that Soren doesn't forgive his dad because he refuses to believe said change happened in the first place (which by the time they meet again in s6 it’s just plainly untrue, but I’ll talk about Viren in part 2).

Now, since Soren is pretty much fine whenever Viren isn’t around, and since forgiveness is a part of the core theme of the series, what one could assume that Soren already forgave him and went on with his life for 2 years with no problem because he was at peace with what happened (which is the point of the act of forgiving, not only here but in real life too). Then Viren shows up again, and there’s a state of shock…the first time. Soren meets Viren in the Drakewood and we got no interaction between them, and whatever, that’s fine. Maybe he was processing it all.

The scenario in which they meet here however it’s very different: Soren is told ahead of time and he willingly goes to see his father despite no one forcing him to, as if he couldn't help it (at least up to a certain point).

This, unlike the state of shock that may or may have not been the reason they didn’t face one another sooner, isn’t a situation that should take away Soren’s capacity to stand up to his abuser with pride that he displayed all the way back in s3: does anybody remember that? How in the finale Soren was super ready for a confrontation right then and there, not as a hurt kid but as a confident and secure young man?

Yet this time, Soren isn’t depicted as capable of proudly facing the source of his pain to begin with, for whatever reason. Here he’s either numb, mad or sad, framed as a broken boy who can only live happily if he full on ignores what hurt him, which is far from the idea of moving on. Even in the optic where this is a form of stepping up for himself, considering that (as I mentioned) he was already capable of it and we already know how deeply hurt he was by Viren, the interactions we get in s6 give us nothing that we didn’t already know.

Since this is (probably) the last chance the two will have at conversation, there should've been more to it this time around. Some kind of proper conclusion before parting ways: that would be closure.

If Soren couldn’t forgive Viren when the latter was believed dead and didn’t have to face him at all once, it was probably due to the lack of closure (or by principle, I’ll get to that in a second), which could be the reason why he kept going back to the dungeon, though unaware of it; at this point it’s easy to see that, in order for the relationship to center the point the overall story is trying to make (or to barely allow a character that has suffered as much as Soren to finally heal), having closure here was a must, especially if they intended for him to go through the same thing twice.

As someone who has lived a similar situation as Soren has with Viren I say this with all the bitterness possible: for better or worse, forgiveness it’s something you do for your own sake of moving forward. I think that a lot of people, in general, mistake forgiveness for reconciliation.

The issue isn't that these two characters don’t reconcile, if anything, that's something that I liked and actually hoped for; the issue is that if closure and forgiveness are about inner peace (and they are), and not about reconciliation (and they're not), both things being denied now is unfair at best, and cruel at worst.

For anyone who claims that the entire thing was "realistic", please keep in mind that this is a fictional story where the characters are either rewarded or punished at the mercy of the writers, not to mention that said fictional story also wants to deliver a very clear moral message, meaning that most of the big character moments should bare minimum lean towards said message.

Even assuming this wasn’t the case, that forgiveness not being granted here is for the best and it doesn’t ruin the overall message of the story, Soren still deserved closure; he could have then decided to not forgive his father.

But okay- let's say that all of what I’ve been typing so far here isn't true and that Soren not believing his father was perfect: it could have, admittedly, somewhat worked if they had Soren, an emotionally smart and open-minded guy, actually hear his father out before… I don’t know, calling him out on his hypocrisy perhaps, for apologizing for mistreatment when there’s so much more he did, or for claiming to be a changed man when he puts the responsibility of fixing what he caused onto others by asking to serve someone else and that’s because he doesn't know how to be good man on his own, or how he chose to not pick up the pieces of what he left behind and brings up Viren's decision to leave behind his sister, who will likely fall into Aaravos's arms out of desperation… something.

What I'm getting at is that anything would have been satisfying if at least they allowed the characters to truly communicate with one another, regardless of the outcome, instead the possibility of real confrontation being denied to them so a spectacle can be made of Viren's guilt and unaccepted apologies.

‘Cause no, if one of the characters actively chooses not to listen to what the other one is saying, it’s not an actual confrontation, it’s barely a conversation. It’s just dialogue.

Aside from the logistics of it all, I've rewatched book 1, 2 and 3 about a hundred times during the hiatus, and I confidently believe (though this is 100% my own reading of the character) that among other things, everything that happens between Soren and Viren here fails to consider the kind of person Soren is at heart: he would never say something like "I want to see you suffer"; he would never angrily punch a wall (or, in this case, the dungeon’s bars). Those obviously aren’t unreasonable reactions, they are just out of character. To make a real-life example, if you were to go outside and a random man started screaming at you, it’d be understandable for you to scream back, just like it would be for you to freeze or run away; it all depends on who you are as a person.

Soren isn’t the type who’d get physically violent as a result of emotional outbursts* against a person he loves (if he isn't completely apathetic it's because he still cares, despite everything), nor the one who’d deliberately be mean to said someone, even when hurt, angry and would have all the right to be mean. What the hell happened to “he's cruel, but you don’t have to be” or whatever he said in s5?

He just isn’t that kind of person at all. If anything, Soren would very likely find it in him to be happy for his father while still not wanting him in his life anymore.

[*edit: this one specifically isn't just a matter of character, but also a matter of discipline: Soren is literally a trained soldier. I get why Callum would punch someone in the face during an adrenaline rush due to feeling intense anger and stress, but Soren was able to keep his cool not only when the pain of seeing Viren's "true colors" was fresh, but when at the very same time the man was being a threat to Ezran's life (so even according to Crownguard code he would have had a pass to immediately react)... maybe that's why it strikes me as odd]

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed this season far more than what it might seem, but since Soren is the only reason I stuck around after the massive disappointment that was s4, I really really wanted this moment to be the absolute best, and at least personally I feel like this was just not it… but I’m crossing my fingers, hoping that maybe, in one way or another, they will give Soren his moment of acceptance and allow him to truly move on.

Something that I can’t hope anymore for Viren…

[ishratmumtaz]

Being away from home has taught me so many things. I have started loving peace and the small things matter to me now.

I have also realised that yes we can live without people. It’s a want not a need to have a companion by your side.

Though I often think about what if I get too comfortable with my solitude,

And then the fear arouses that maybe I will and maybe I’ll never need anyone else now.

[ganseysglasses]

I don’t talk enough about Adam and Gansey’s friendship so I’m going to do that now.

Once we knew that the tree they found in book one was designed to show someone their worst nightmare, I lost it. Adam’s worst nightmare was that he would be the one to kill Gansey. He didn’t even know he was destined to die yet, and Gansey and Adam spent half of the first book arguing but adam’s biggest fear was hurting Gansey. Adam had a million things to be afraid of. He could have been scared of going home, of never getting out, never going to harvard. He was so scared of proving everyone who ever assumed he was nothing right, but he was more scared of hurting Gansey.

He doesn’t share the same unquestionable loyalty and devotion to Gansey that Ronan has, as seen by Adam questioning every action Gansey takes towards him, but he wouldn’t dare hurt Gansey.

I haven’t even begun to talk about about this next line yet.

“I don’t have a brother, ma'am," Adam replied. But Blue saw his eyes dart to Gansey”

Adam sees Gansey as a brother, and knows that no matter how many times one of them says something awful to the other, they’re inexplicably tied together through that bond.

Adam sees himself as unknowable, but Gansey is just so curious. He’s a curious person, driven by a need to know in all aspects of his life, and he is so fascinated by Adam Parrish and his defensive nature and Normal Person knowledge.

Gansey grew up so rich and spent his formative years traveling the world in search of magic so he didn’t get to learn a lot of basic things. So Adam, with his practical skills of fixing things, and his actual job(s), is an enigma to him.

He wants to appreciate Adam in the only way he knows how and Adam hates that, so Gansey does what he does best and he learns and studies and finds new ways to show Adam he cares. It’s all practical gifts and car rides and small gestures with them.

The two of them together are an unstoppable force of will power, mystery, and determination and nobody ever sees it coming. Their friendship is everything to me and one of the best parts of the series.