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dreamylyfe-x · 3 years

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I’m kind of curious, what do you think of Ian and Trevor’s relationship? And that leading to him blowing up a van

Ahhh. Trevor. Yeah. I don’t think that was so great.

First of all, it’s like two different relationships, really. You have season 7 when they’re meeting, getting together and falling apart... and then you have season 8 where they are... I don’t even know what.

Season 7, I mostly think the show really didn’t have the time and space to tell the story of Ian getting involved with Trevor, but they decided to proceed anyway. Which, if they had wanted it to be an eight episode arc, would have been ok. But Trevor is around for 18 episodes.

I mean, let’s lay this out. Trevor arrives in 7x04. 7x06 ends with Ian deciding he does in fact want to date him. 7x09 ends with Ian finding out Mickey’s back. Trevor and Ian are together for a hot second. And during that time, we don’t get to find out that much about him. Like we know he’s generous in a lot of ways, but also quick to anger. Kinda condescending. Kinda sweet. Mostly he’s all over the place. A lot of the time I struggle to find Trevor organic. When he gets mad, I’m always like “how did you get there, my dude?” and when he’s all moony I feel the same way. There are multiple scenes of Trevor and Ian laughing over something that go TOO LONG and feel a bit like old episodes of Murder, She Wrote, where they always had to have the show about violent death end on Jessica smiling. Then there’s stuff like Trevor telling off Frank. Trevor telling Fiona she’s a badass. It has a real Poochie vibe to me. But.... Trevor is not a Poochie. Trevor is a character who, if he had any chance of working, is about to get cut off at the knees.

The show cannot be confused about what is going to happen in 7x10 when Mickey comes back. Not just to Ian, but to the audience. Storywise, we are going to be shown positive proof that Ian is still in love with Mickey. Not just a little bit, not lingering feelings, but try to leave your family and job and give all your money away in love with his ex. And even outside of what’s on the page, they’re like “Here. This is what is looks like when Cam has chemistry with someone. This is what the performances look like when there’s some complexity and history and subtext. Here’s a character with a strong voice and a well-established personality.”

And now... Here’s Trevor.

I’m sure Trevor had his fans. Like, I get it. I particularly get it if people just really like Elliot Fletcher. But the people behind this show aren’t idiots and they know how to craft a story. You can see it with Mickeys’ two-episode arc. They have to know you can’t have that story and have a viable Ian/Trevor romance in the same season. You gotta pick one. And they picked Mickey.

AS THEY SHOULD.

*ahem*

That brings us to season 8, which is even weirder on the Trevor tip than season 7.

For most people, if you’ve been dating some guy and the second the ex showed up your boyfriend not only instantly falls back into bed with him, but then runs away with him for a few days and only comes back because of a bunch of considerations that have nothing to do with whether or not he’s in love with the guy... that’s gonna be it. EVEN if his mother dies. The normal thing to do would be, in the words of Lip Gallagher, to fuck someone else. Like ANYONE else. He cheated weeks in. It’s done.

So why the heck are they still hanging out together in season 8? Like from a story POV. What is the reason?

My theory on the Ian front is detailed in my story Unsent and it’s basically this: Ian was desperate for comfort and Trevor must have been a person he thought he could get that from. He had gotten it from him (imperfectly, maybe) in the past. I DO NOT KNOW what Trevor wanted. I really don’t. I never got to know Trevor well enough.

I’ll tell you want he didn’t want: What was best for Ian.

And honestly, why should he? Ian is his ex. For good reason. Trevor does not need to be nice to him. Trevor doesn’t even really have to tell Ian to go away, though he almost certainly should have. It probably would have been kinder. But honestly, so much of what comes next only makes sense if you decide Trevor is low-key evil. He lets Ian pine (pretty normal level of ex-punishment), tells him he loves him (NOT POSSIBLE. I love Ian Gallagher too, sir, but that is NOT POSSIBLE. You were together for a minute and you are not that ridiculous) and then does this gross, dehumanizing weird thing involving men with bigger bodies. Lets/encourages Ian to prostitute himself to get money for the shelter. Yells at Ian over Geneva when a conversation might have been more appropriate/made more sense. And then, right as Ian starts to tip into really concerning behaviour, kiiiiiinda get back with him, sort of? And then vanish when it becomes extremely clear that he’s sick.

But I don’t think the show intends for him to be evil. I’m not sure what the show intends him to be, but I suspect we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy. He almost functions like Harry in Dexter. Just the guy standing at Ian’s elbow and making comments on the action. He isn’t really being written like he’s separate from Ian. He’s there to provide some sort of stimulus to direct the action. But it’s hard to view Trevor as a character.

I actually think Shameless has incredible skill to bring in characters for ten minutes and make them seem like rounded characters. I don’t think they get there with Trevor because I don’t think they ever really decided what they were doing with him. They didn’t entirely have room for the character on the canvas in season 7 and then they kind shoehorn him in to what comes next. I also think the issues with Trevor extend to Caleb, actually. They’re both strangely changeable. Sometimes encouraging and affectionate and sometimes cold, manipulative or bullying. I personally think that Caleb is the worse of the two, but neither of them are easy to root for.

I’m not 100% I’m sure I am interpreting what you’re asking about the van correction. I certainly don’t attribute that to Trevor and I have much less frustration with him than I do with Ian’s family for not recognizing how many bright red flags there were. Certainly Trevor’s hesitancy seems to come a little late. But Trevor isn’t Ian’s boyfriend and he might consider himself Ian’s friend, but he’s also clearly got some serious feelings of wrongdoing where Ian is concerned.

In Trevor’s defence, with the whole series finished, I think season 8 is certainly one of, if not THE weakest season. Trevor isn’t the only problem. But I don’t think he’s a very successful character for them.

#asks #trevor #should I tag this anti-trevor?#ok #anti-trevor #I'm not so much an anti here as a confused person #shameless season 7 #shameless season 8 #Ian Gallagher #I skimmed a lot of Trevor scenes for this anon #so please feel loved!#and #thank you for asking!

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the-warmesthello · 2 years

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owen's family/siblings hcs

a couple of hcs about owen's family bc im sick and need to write these down before the delirium fades and i completely forget all of this.

PRE-POSTING EDIT: i'm better now. i did, in fact, forget all of this and am piecing it back together. this isn't fully sick me's vision, but it is what i think.

PRE-POSTING EDIT EDIT: wow this is so fucking long why am i incapable of being normal about this. btw just realised that these r ocs. im making ocs. i didn't think of them as ocs up until now, just as literally what his family's like the same way canon is what his adult life's like, but i made spies are forever ocs and you will hear about them. this message brought to you by me a week after i started making this post.

this is the springboard for all my stuff about owen's family. in this post i'm only focussing on childhood except where i think i might forget. my barb-owen lavender marriage au is based on inheritance fraud regarding these specific people. i might contradict myself later, but probably not.

trigger warnings: emotionally abusive family, ableism, parent death, traumatic/accidental death, trauma and its aftermath, child labour exploitation i think?, war undertones, abusive school experiences, one mention of anti-welsh sentiment, implied antisemitism. if you want to skip the worst of the death bit, skip the 3rd point under C.

very long also putting in bigger tags so don't want to force people to see triggering stuff, so it's under a read more.

parents

father's (b. 1895) side of the family is old money. very proudly welsh in the way of language and history, but they're politically aligned with the crown. all tories, except for a cousin that started voting plaid cymru in 1927 and was disowned. father has a strong desire for a well-rounded, educated, "manly gentleman" for a son, the same as what his father wanted. lineage is everything for the carvours. that's how it's always been.

mother (1904-1942) was jewish. her family immigrated to swansea when her parents were both children ('they met on the boat over, and it was love at first sight', mother would tell them). they integrated and became comfortably wealthy, though by what means mother never told. when she told her parents she wanted to marry a goy who wouldn't consider conversion, they fought, and even though they made up, the relationship stayed stunted.

sibling intro

owen had 3 siblings growing up: an older brother (by 6 years, A), a younger sister (by 4 years, B), and a younger brother (by 10 years, C).

someone help me with their names i'm tired. some ideas i have: - A (edit: alan reese carvour) i want to be a name that i would associate with an older guy, with fewer spelling-related ties to welsh than his younger siblings. alan, reese, trevor/trev, gavin, brian, edwin/ed - B (edit: catrin avalon carvour) i want to be similar to the name owen, one that's clearly welsh/a welsh variant if you think about it but enough of a common name that it's not super obvious to foreigners. gwen, catrin/cadi, megan, nia, enid, avalon/ava, rhiannon (cant use gwen unless owen's trans and he chose a name similar to his sister's on purpose) - C (edit: dafydd arthur carvour) i want to have a welsh spelling of a name that could be anglicised easily, should he wish. dafydd/dai, gwilym, arthur, daryn, harri

A was born in the may of 1924 while the carvours were still living in london. mother and father had recently married, and mother was young and didn't have very much support outside of her in-laws, who resented her for reasons A will never understand.

he'd always been kind of a troublemaker, throwing things and screaming and colouring all over the nursery wall, but his father didn't bother trying to fix any of it because 'boys will be boys', and his mother used to try but gave up easily when he preferred his father to her because 'forcing someone to like you better never works'.

due to this, he never really learned how to cope with emotions in a healthy way and often "embarrassed" his parents with his public emotional outbursts. only then did his father care how he acted, but the sudden rule change didn't make sense. he picked up on that shame and internalised it deeply, becoming defensive whenever someone suggested another idea to him.

probably has some kind of undiagnosed thing, but nobody ever took him to be tested when he was young, by the time he was old enough to communicate that it was a problem he didn't like either, everyone had already written him off as manipulative and beyond saving.

so he stopped caring. if he did something wrong, he was a horrible little brat. if he tried to do what people asked, they said he was trying to get something out of them.

eventually, his parents (or at least his mother) improved somewhat, but at that point he wanted nothing to do with them and was grateful that he only had to see them on school holidays. their attempts were too little, too late.

resents owen for being the 'better son', but very protective of his other siblings.

found a healthy coping mechanism in lifting heavy things when he was tasked with digging anderson shelters for everyone and felt the weight of his frustration being thrown away behind him with the soil.

this became his go-to calming method, even if it meant father screamed at him.

after 1942, he didn't dig any more holes. it was too much to bear.

so he turned his escapism into perfectionism and channelled his athleticism into boxing. he dropped out of college, got a promoter, and spent every waking moment counting out money, considering the odds of each fight, and training.

it was overwhelming, but that's what he wanted it to be.

eventually got disowned for leftism crimes. (good for him)

owen

yes i'm gonna make one of these for him too.

born in november 1930 in aberystwyth. parents' marriage more established, but not strictly happy. owen picked up on clear ideological differences between his parents at a young age, but both were raising their children under their model of success.

an 'odd' child, but in a way that was less of an inconvenience to adults so was never reprimanded for it.

he didn't really understand why people liked some behaviours better than others, but knew that when he did the right things, people were nicer to him, and sometimes even gave him things, so he learned to play the game.

honestly, as an adult he finds it funny that A was always seen as manipulative when really out of anyone in the family it was himself. i mean, like, he knew that sucked for A, but he wasn't gonna say anything about it.

since he was the "smart one", he became the de facto eldest son, and was given a much more thorough education in languages, music, and science.

played the cello, first because father told him to, then because he liked it. he liked the way it could sway with him and how deep it sounded.

father liked how there were no frets forcing one in line, like a guitar, but one still had to follow the rules or it would sound bad.

when war broke out, owen was introduced to a family that had recently moved in. his father said that he should get to know the children, they were his age. they could be friends.

after dinner that evening, his father invited him to his office, a rare honour. a machine was already set up, and owen watched the wheels rotate as he answered question after question about the neighbours' children's lives.

where are they from? have you been able to see anything in that room no child is allowed into? what did that note slipped under the front door say? can you draw it? what have they overheard about the move? what did they say their parents' jobs were? what is... who did... where... thank you, owen, that's all. you may go to your room now, there's something there for you. think of it as a token of gratitude for your trouble.

this continued for a few months, all the way up until the family disappeared. owen thought it was odd that they hadn't brought their things.

either way, the conversations stopped after that, until the next time. and the next.

when he decided to join mi6's training program, he couldn't help but notice that his file was already several pages thick on his first day.

way back in 1942, he was the first to hear the siren. the sound made him feel sick for the rest of his life.

born in july 1934. with the 'heir and a spare' out of the way, the pressure on mother to produce another son was gone, and both parents welcomed a baby girl.

spoiled by her father with material goods, but she could sense that it was to set her up for something, and there was less emotion behind it than a plan, though for what she couldn't know.

had a knack for cheering people up, even father. she could sing, and dance around a room, and perform a smile to make it all better for a moment.

she loved her siblings. if father was treating A unfairly, she would mediate. if owen was cracking under the weight of his schoolwork, languages, music lessons, the now mandatory play sessions with the neighbours, readings, and shooting practice, she would sneak into his room and offer to help cover for him.

great tree-climber. sometimes would go up and wouldn't get down unless there was food waiting for her.

some days, mother would take her into a secret room off one of the corridors nobody went through, and in there were candlesticks, both straight and tree shaped, and a cup that looked older than even mother, and a cloth that mother taught her to put on her head with a song in a language she didn't understand. there was a little metal canister on the doorframe, and when she was very little mother would lift her up so she could touch it whenever she went in or out.

mother used to say, 'this is where we come from. remember that.' and 'this is precious, and secret, and only for us to know. we can't tell father.' and it was only when B was grown, and had her own husband, and her own children, that she understood.

loved painting. mostly her dreams, which she could remember as vividly as any other memory.

what happened that night in 1942 was only 4 hours after she blew her eight birthday candles out. every year hearing the birthday song would bring it back.

talking about mother hurt after that, so she didn't.

her paintings became more focused, more like the dreams she had in the few years after that night, even when her dreams moved on somewhat. the current dream paintings were private, only shared with her family and close friends.

the ones she shared were precipices, a candle being snatched by the darkness of a tunnel, mother telling her that she was sorry for leaving while sitting with B in a sunny field, on a train, in the secret room.

after her death, the moderate number of people in the art world who know her work will wonder who the woman in her work is.

some say a reflection of herself, some a recurring character living a full life, some later on suggest a lover. the truth was that B never fully moved on from what happened, even though her life did.

born during the war in january of 1941. both mother and he had almost died, and he was sick for a month following his birth.

has no memories of mother, but always thought that she looked very pretty in pictures.

C was only 18 months old when the siren went off. mother had lifted him out of his cot while the whole family and staff filed out of their rooms to the shelters. it had been dark, and mother was shaking so much, the way she always did when this happened, and she must have missed a step on the way down. she had twisted backwards to protect him the only way she could.

father never let him forget that it was his fault.

growing up, owen and B were the only people in the house who wanted to take care of him, and they tried their best.

but C was... different. more delicate. he seemed to get sick if someone across the house shut a door too loudly. he had no interest in climbing trees or playing the cello. he seemed almost like a rabbit, always looking around, scared that something was going to get him at any moment.

the only thing he seemed to like doing was reading. he learned at what might've been a remarkably young age, but must not have been, because father never said anything. owen told him later that they'd learned to read at the same age, and he was told that it was early, so C must also have been a quick learner.

owen helped with his learning as much as he could, but support from father was impossible and textbooks were so much more difficult than fiction. in fiction he could go wherever he wanted.

his favourites were a little princess, the naughtiest girl in the school, and trixie belden mysteries.

father tried to take them away, said they were too girly, but B always managed to sneak them back. she recommended more grown up mysteries, like poirot and father brown, for when he needed a 'boyish enough' story. but it was always the boarding school stories he liked best.

so he was excited to see what adventures would await him when he finally got to go himself.

it didn't go well.

(he'd one day find that most things never do go the way they are in stories.)

the school he went to was english, and the boys all made fun of his name and how his chin jutted out when he was nervous and the way he talked, as well as everything his father had.

he spelled his name differently when they said it made him look stupid for 'spelling it wrong'.

the teachers criticised his posture and his handwriting and how he undermined their authority, though he didn't mean to, really he didn't, it was an accident.

the teachers said that if it happened this many times it couldn't have been an accident.

when he turned 21, he changed his uni major (then dropped out altogether), changed his attitude, changed his clothes. became a writer/producer as part of a travelling theatre company. all for the sake of being free.

some would say he went too far in that.

#magnetic tape recorders didnt commercially exist until 1945ish but photoelectric paper ones did so thats what that was #also jurtwen made me do it to em :) i will hold on to this concept forever #holy shit this took so long #anyway hope this is a Thing and not just some prolonged bullshittery #headcanons #owen #im right #owen carvour #spies are forever #tin can bros #emotional abuse tw #ableism tw #parent death tw #trauma tw #school tw #the rest should be fine since it's under a read more and only smaller things but if anyone wants them tagged ask me and i'll do it

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chainsawcorazon · 7 years

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like i realize castlevania is a predominantly hetero creation, but my dudes, that’s not gonna stop me from shipping the OT3 sypha/adrian/trevor.

#castlevania #sypha belnades #adrian tepes #trevor belmont #i already see the anti queer activity in the tags and im not happy #do better fools #stop sleeping on the polyamorous OT3s #bi erasure is evil and you should be ashamed #real talk

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laviedavantgarde · 3 years

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Grand Theft Immortal should be summarized up like this thus far:

A rag tag team made up of anti-heroes and villains come together to stop a man whose sole purpose is to stifle anything and anyone he disagrees with.

Oh, and there's Trikey, Mr. Philips/Dr. Hyde, and Dr. De Santa pairings too. If you wanna see how their relationships will end, read the tags. 😊

They're like the GTA version of the Avengers, and I can imagine Lamar and/or Trevor playing the Avengers orchestral theme on a kazoo.

Not sure what the GTA equivalent of The Avengers would be for them, but I'd love to have one of the characters make that funny remark sometime.

A good friend of mine asked me who would be the Preps then, because in the bastard fic that is in My Immortal, Ebony calls ANYONE non "goffic" (goth) a prep.

You know who would be a prep? Steve Haines. Devin Weston. Molly Schultz (sp?).

Thank you for reading this weird little fic on AO3.

#gta v #grand theft immortal #trevor philips #michael de santa #franklin clinton #lamar davis #trikey #dr. julien hyde #oc #my immortal #if anyone at my funeral reminds the living about this fic #you get a high five from me as a ghost

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fiddlepickdouglas · 4 years

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Reasons I Care About Bobby Wilson (this post is for people who wonder why I do):

Sorry, just saw an anti-Bobby post and I shouldn't get like this over a fictional character, but here I go, I guess.

The things people don't like

We can agree that not crediting Luke, Reggie, and Alex for their songs was awful. That is a serious line to cross and he's got to make up for that if he's ever to be seen as a truly good guy.

It can also be agreed upon that his shady/not as cool character is set up by the way he interacts with the boys and Rose. Lying about being vegetarian, trying to send the boys off to eat hot dogs so he can flirt more (from which we have a thousand heacanons about him being in a relationship with Rose and also theories that he somehow killed his own band).

These things don't paint him as brightly as the rest of our himbos. I'd like to assert that we are being shown a mere glimpse of this character and the intro showed him in a weak moment. We can discuss good and proper flirting tactics elsewhere, but these methods aren't uncommon, especially for a teen in 1995. The song stealing - absolutely inexcusable. There's no way I, or anyone else, would or should try to dispute that.

This next part is in response to the tag I read saying 'he acts like a douche' and aside from the above things, what else do we see?

What he really does

Let's look at Bobby as a teen briefly. He plays Now or Never with the boys, and upon finishing the sound check goes right into celebrating their performance. Then he sees a cute girl who is also celebrating the performance and wants to get to know her better. This attempt is momentarily interrupted by the rest of his band, and while he is slightly annoyed, he isn't outright rude. He reminds them of plans they already had to send the message that he wants a chance with this girl - if I were in a similar situation I don't imagine myself handling it too much better. I understand that's really up to individual scrutiny, but I don't take this as 'oh he's a jerk'.

We don't see him again until the issue of copyright comes up and they visit his mansion. In these moments, we see him the way Luke, Reggie, and Alex do: an intolerable thief. However, the use of the songs is already a thing of the past. The Bobby, now Trevor, we see presently makes a practice of checking in with his daughter briefly, meditating, and has a therapist. We can all laugh at Reggie's line about the sunglasses, but without the boys there, he just comes off as a chill dad who sticks to his cool dude aesthetic even when his child finds it embarrassing.

The fear he experiences when the boys haunt him is clearly very mixed. Regardless, resurfacing the trauma of his band dying and then seeing paranormal activity in his own home that is targeted toward him in a mildly antagonistic manner is sort of a weighty subject. That poor therapist.

Then he sees the Edge of Great video. Can I just point out that he takes interest because he sees Julie? She's what grabs his attention. Whether it's because of Julie's goddess-like talent or because he recognizes his daughter's friend and notices his daughter bringing her up in a way she hasn't in about year, we don't know yet. But Julie is the star and he knows it. And then he sees them. His old band from 25 years ago, back from the dead and not a day older than 17. He doesn't even have to feel guilty to respond the way he did - that's just the response of a 42 year old man who is seeing straight *read: it's never straight* witchcraft before his eyes.

I'm not sure why he would call to get himself and Carrie into the show on the spot aside from pure curiosity. The who, what, when, where, and why of it all is a lot to take with his guilty conscience on top. Seeing him shake at the end is definitely a combination of all those things.

I almost forgot to include him playing in Unsaid Emily, but not much can be said about it. I still think it's sweet that Luke felt comfortable enough sharing that song with his whole band and that they rehearsed it. As a bandmate and a friend, Bobby must have been at least cool enough to gain that confidence, and more not to include it in the songs he claims as his own later.

Anyhow, those things are what we see and it's somewhat polarizing apparently. Julie's mom, Rose, retained a fairly close friendship with him, which says a great deal. If Julie is anything like her mom, or if we extrapolate from Julie's character how good of a parent Rose was, we can imagine how good of a character judge she was. As a teen, maybe not quite as good (although she is played to be specifically in tune with her feeling about how good the band is, so I don't think so). Maturing into adulthood and still having Bobby as a friend implies that either he was extremely fake with her the whole 24 years they were friends, or he actually wasn't that terrible to be around.

What we don't know

As much as we all love our headcanons, there's still a great deal of mystery about Bobby. And frankly, I feel like it depends on which headcanons we choose to like that cement our feelings toward him (although enjoying Taylor Kare as an actor and a human being can also have great influence here as well). I've seen some hcs that say he was a big brother to the guys and that make him seem soft and I really enjoy them. I choose to believe we are shown some of his worst moments and he has potential for good. Others really like the drama and mystery behind the "he somehow murdered the boys" and frankly I can't say they're wrong for it. But there are certainly details that could help define him that we've yet to see:

What was he actual relationship with the guys? Was he really a fourth wheel, just a rhythm guitarist they needed, or was he just as close?

What happened right after the boys died? Did he go on with the show or did he cancel?

Was he involved in telling their families the bad news? Did he attend their funerals? Did he disappear before he could get involved?

How did he manage to bury his old identity and keep his friendship with Rose?

Was he victimized by the music industry? Was taking the credit his idea or was he put in a difficult position that made him make a bad choice?

Who in the world is Carrie's mom and is she a part of their life? How does this affect them?

What is he going to do about the boys now? Could he actually do anything to harm their career as a band? Would he or does he want closure?

I guess what I want to accomplish here is explain that you're welcome to feel what you feel about Bobby, but you can't tell me "it's not that deep." It is. Plus I love the representation we get from both actors who play him on the show and anyone who is mad about that can assume I don't take their opinion seriously.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #bobby #bobby wilson #trevor wilson #long post #sorry i got carried away #when i swerved into this lane i stayed

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puthyflapps · 3 years

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Was looking through the anti gallavich tag and saw ur posts. I completely agree about the fetishization of their relationship by cishet woman. It’s so gross, they can’t open their eyes for one second to realize that the ship should not be romanticized when it’s genuinely toxic.

Reminds me of Klaine from Glee. A toxic ass mlm relationship that was overhyped and fetishized to the max by straight girls, who would also constantly hate on the wlw couple on the show.

Had Emmy Rossum not left the show Fiona would’ve been the one to discover she was wlw, not Debbie. You know the same cishet women that fetishize the mlm ship who lit rally physically assault one another on a regular basis would’ve called fiona’s wlw relationship toxic as soon they had an argument because str8 women are predictable

Also, imagine if Kevin just punched Veronica in the face as a way to settle an argument. We’d all lose our minds because that’s insane and incredibly fucked up and disturbed. But have two guys do it and suddenly it’s hot and sexy?? If Sandy beat the shit out of Debbie and called her all the homophobic slurs she could think of those str8 women that love Ian and Mickey so much would screaaammm about the toxicity of the ship

I also have an issue with the way they hate on Trevor 🤔🧐 why is the trans character the one they hate on the most? Why do they think that relationship was toxic but not the physically violent one? Think fast now

#str8 women are the weakest link #every mlm on tv is written solely for them and not actual mlm and you can tell #ask #anti gallavich

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raleighcarrera · 4 years

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famous

platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)

an au where raleigh is still raleigh but cadence is an actress on a teen tv drama.

~5.4k words | M (18+)

raleigh tag list: @omgjasminesimone, @choicesarehard

cadence rolled her eyes from the makeup chair, prompting the artist that was working on applying her eyeshadow to let out an annoyed sigh. “sorry, katie,” she apologized, before cutting her gaze over to her co-star, sitting in the chair beside her.

“what’s the big deal?” cadence asked, still not seeing what made today so vastly different from any other day on set. “he’s just a guy.”

jaylen looked like she was about to have a stroke. “raleigh carrera is not just a guy. please don’t ever say that again.”

cadence snuck a glance at katie, but the older woman only smirked silently as she waved a strip of false eyelashes in the air, waiting for the glue to try. “okay,” cadence started slowly, “i just meant -- that he’s probably like any other guest star we’ve had?”

jaylen scoffed. the set hairstylist finally walked up and started pulling the curlers out of her long, brown hair, running her fingers through it to loosen them. “he is so not. seriously, stop acting like you didn’t camp out all night for sunset skatepark tickets at one point in your life like everyone else.”

she definitely had, but -- “that was, like, a million years ago. i was thirteen. besides, he’s totally different now. i’ll be amazed if he even manages to show up on time today.”

cadence was due on set in an hour, which, if katie could get her eyelashes on in one try, was going to give her just enough time to grab something to eat before her first scene. at this point in filming the show, she was hardly nervous about anything, anymore, even having to film with one of the most famous people she’d probably ever meet -- so there wasn’t much she’d need to do to prepare, except maybe pop a mint before their big scene.

from beside her, jaylen was sulking. cadence watched her in the mirror as best as she could with katie curling her eyelashes. “his visit is totally wasted on you,” she whined, “i can’t believe the writers gave you the kiss.”

“it’s not like i asked for it. besides, rosa --” jaylen’s character “-- and trevor just got back together. it wouldn’t have made sense for it to be anyone else.”

she blinked rapidly as katie backed away, testing the weight of the false eyelashes. they were in the middle of filming the third season of the show, and while her eyes had definitely stopped watering, by now, that didn’t mean that it didn’t still feel a little bit weird, to have so much makeup on all the time.

just a few years ago, she was making smoothies for forty hours each week, barely pulling in enough money to afford her rent. now she was part of one of the most popular teen dramas in the world -- and about to get paid to make out with the guy that literally performed with justin timberlake at the super bowl.

so, life was surreal, sometimes.

once her hair was set in the waves her character always wore, cadence left jaylen pouting in wardrobe and strolled to craft services, making a bee-line for the breakfast table. she was piling mini-muffins into a napkin when she saw him.

his hair was shorter than she’d expected it to be; when she thought of raleigh carrera she pictured the way he looked on the ‘famous’ album cover -- long hair, dark smile, lots of tattoos. the guy sitting in the chair in the corner of the room was undeniably the same person, but he looked...

hungover, that was the word she was looking for.

raleigh had sunglasses on. inside. he was cradling a cup of coffee in his hands.

cadence gathered up the corners of her napkin and made her way over to him. “hey,” she said, her voice perfectly level -- not, as shane always called it, monday-morning-chipper. “i’m cadence, i’ll be your scene partner today.”

raleigh stared at her -- or she assumed that was what he was doing. for all she knew, he was asleep. she arched her eyebrows at him, and a minute later, he tilted his head, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose.

sheesh. he was hot. the look in his eyes caught her and pinned her in place.

“cadence dorian, right?” she nodded, trying not to look too surprised. so -- he knew who she was? he didn’t seem like the type of guy that would be familiar with her work -- this teen drama and a number of big-studio romantic comedies. “my agent said we’re filming romance today. lots of kissing.”

cadence felt her lips spread into a grin. “yeah. i hope you brushed your teeth.”

raleigh let out a bark of laughter so loud that a few of the production assistants turned around to look at them. he was smirking when he said, “don’t tell me chadley fortnum’s got bad breath.”

she gaped at him. chadley had played her character’s boyfriend for the last two years, before the writers finally killed him off. he was an awful kisser. “do you seriously expect me to believe that you actually watch wicked midnight?”

now he was smirking in that way she’d expected. he looked a lot more like the guy from the ‘famous’ album cover. “maybe i catch an episode here and there.”

“this is hilarious. do you also watch gossip girl? riverdale? is your favorite movie fifty first dates?”

he reached up and pushed his sunglasses up into his hair. “i prefer how to lose a guy in ten days.”

of course he was funny. why wouldn’t he be? it wasn’t like he wasn’t already drop-dead gorgeous and effortlessly cool.

maybe jaylen was right. she’d only known him for three minutes, and already cadence could see he wasn’t just a guy.

“we should get going, or we’re going to be late. i’ll show you where the soundstage is.”

raleigh nodded at her and they started walking to set together, him with his coffee and her with the four or so muffins in her hands that she was suddenly too shy to eat. “so,” she asked abruptly, for a distraction from thinking about how handsome he was, “why the sudden interest in acting?”

cadence glanced at him and watched him shrug his broad shoulders. “for the positive pr, mostly. i think my team’s just hoping to generate some headlines that aren’t about something i destroyed, for once.”

she laughed. “fair enough. i guess raleigh carrera guest stars in wicked midnight midseason finale is a lot better than raleigh carrera crashes motorcycle into wildlife sanctuary, kills family of endangered pandas.”

“okay, i would never do that,” he argued, “pandas are adorable. there’s nothing cool about anti-conservation.”

“but there is something cool about breaking into and wrecking a cruise ship?” so -- she read her fair share of gossip blogs. sue her.

“totally,” he confirmed. he drew her eye as he tipped his head back to drain what was left in his coffee cup. “would you believe me if i said it was a statement against capitalism?”

“i think i’d be more likely to believe you if you said you were drunk and bored.” they stepped onto set as the last scene was wrapping, and cadence hung back while production transformed the high school set into the one for rosa’s home; jaylen’s character was supposed to be throwing a house party -- that was where cadence and raleigh would meet.

her eyes scanned the room, but jaylen was no where to be found. “huh.” though her scenes weren’t filming until later today, cadence didn’t think she’d want to miss a minute of time with raleigh.

she’d forgotten he was still standing beside her. “what?”

“i was just wondering where jaylen is,” cadence explained, “my co-star? she was pretty excited to meet you.”

raleigh turned towards her, then, smirking again. “finally. i gotta say, i was pretty disappointed you didn’t seem more star-struck. you know -- when girls treat me normally, it really hurts my feelings.”

she laughed, leaning over to playfully shove her shoulder into his. raleigh made a face at her as though she’d actually hurt him, reaching up to rub at his arm. “hey, easy! save it for the bedroom.” he looked back towards the set. “or... the fake kitchen counter.”

“cadence?” one of the production assistants jogged up to her before she could form a retort. “we’re ready for you.”

she found her mark in the fake kitchen and started making herself a drink. the extras milled around behind her, and as the director called for action, she wondered what the props team had put together to fill the bottles before her with -- on her birthday, they’d given her a full glass of vinegar disguised as water as a prank, and she’d spit it out all over ryan summers in the middle of a take.

raleigh walked into the scene and strolled right up to her. “hey.” he nodded coolly at the red cup in her hands. “what’s your poison?”

cadence surveyed him from behind the plastic rim as she took a sip. thank god it was just water with food dye in it. “i’m not picky when it comes to free alcohol.”

he pulled a red cup from the stack on the kitchen counter and made a drink for himself. “fair enough.” she watched him flick his wrist to swirl the liquid inside the cup around, mixing it together. “what’re we drinking to?”

cadence lifted her drink into the air, smiling sardonically at him. “to my dead boyfriend. his funeral was on tuesday.” she tilted her head back and chugged until the cup was empty, looking challengingly at raleigh once she finished. “cheerful, i know.”

she stared at him as his tongue poked into his cheek. he was a better actor than she’d expected him to be. “i’m sorry for your loss.”

cadence laughed humorlessly. “don’t be.” she sniffed, rubbing her nose with the hand not holding her cup. “any idiot who drives drunk deserves what they get.”

she chewed on her bottom lip, watching the extras leave the kitchen set. when she looked back at him, his gaze was intense -- it felt like he was staring into her soul.

“i’m jason,” he said, holding out his hand. cadence dropped her gaze to it and snorted, rolling her eyes.

after a beat, she begrudgingly introduced herself. “lexi. you go to brentwood?”

he smirked at her, pushing the hand she refused to take smoothly through his hair. wardrobe had given raleigh a long-sleeved shirt, but she could still see his tattoos peeking out from under the cuffs. “nah, i’m a senior at p.s. 119. i just come to parties like this one to pass out favors to rich kids like you.”

her eyebrows lifted. with intent, she trailed her gaze up and down his body. “what’ve you got?”

raleigh dug in his pockets and pulled out a medicine bottle. he shook a pill into his hand -- the prop department had found something that looked almost fluorescent, under the artificially dim party lighting. “something that’ll help me cheer you up, i think.”

she shrugged, like it was all the same to her. “you can try.”

one of the cameras moved in for a close up. raleigh leaned in. “you’ll have to come and get it,” he said, right before he laid the pill on his own tongue.

cadence laughed, the sound low and throaty. her eyes dropped to his lips, and then she leaned in, pressing their mouths together.

raleigh gathered her into his arms as the sweet taste of strawberry candy exploded on her tongue. he pushed the candy into her mouth and kissed her hard, his hands moving swiftly to her hips. cadence responded in kind, winding her arms around his neck and slipping her fingers into his hair, holding on tightly.

kissing him was... nothing like kissing chadley. it was nothing like kissing anyone, it was -- something she didn’t think she could have prepared for, even if she’d tried. already, she knew she’d never forget this kiss for as long as she lived. she was going to spend the rest of time comparing everyone she kissed to him, to this, to right now --

raleigh lifted her easily onto the prop kitchen counter, settling his hands on her thighs. cadence shivered as he stepped in close between her spread legs, the hushed noise of the set around them fading away. she wasn’t acting when he pushed his hips forward against hers and she let out a breathless moan of ecstasy, her grip on his hair tightening so she could pull him closer.

“cut! great work, guys. let’s reset and run it again.”

her mouth broke away from his in a daze. cadence dragged the back of her hand across her lips, breathing hard. raleigh barely looked rattled, but she was struggling to get herself together, staring at him with wide eyes.

he smirked at her. “that good, huh?”

cadence blinked. “what -- i --” she reached out and whacked his shoulder. “shut up.”

his thumbs were rubbing little circles on her bare thighs, where the hem of the denim cut-offs she’d been given ended. his laugh was fond and warm -- it didn’t feel like he was laughing at her, exactly. it felt nice, like they were in on the same joke. “it was pretty good for me, too.”

“just pretty good?”

“guys?” the assistant director was looking at them like they were insane, and cadence startled, remembering they’d been instructed to reset. right. now wasn’t the time to be flirting with raleigh carrera, even though he’d just given her an earth-shatteringly good kiss. she was supposed to be working.

she cleared her throat, scrambling to stand again. raleigh waited a beat before moving away, so there were a few heart-stopping seconds where the full length of her body brushed against his. cadence shot him a look from under her false eyelashes as he slinked away.

they ran the scene an agonizing nine more times. by the end of the morning, her lips felt swollen and raw, and her jaw was tingling from the stubble that dotted raleigh’s face.

and that wasn’t even to mention her nerves, which were alight and on edge after a seemingly endless few hours spent kissing the hottest guy on the face of planet earth.

raleigh wrapped an arm around her shoulders as production broke down the set around them. “so, can i buy you lunch? i feel like it’s the least i can do.”

“i bet you say that to all the girls,” cadence hummed, leaning against his side. from across the room, she noticed jaylen watching them with narrowed eyes, a frown set on her face. cadence looked away. “did they set you up with a trailer?”

“yeah, but i bet yours is nicer,” he grinned, “since you’re the star, and i’m the guy who brings property damage everywhere he goes.” he had a point. “want to show it to me?”

cadence wondered if he meant the words as the invitation she thought he did. her pulse was racing. still, she nodded. “definitely.”

raleigh wasn’t shy about looking around when she let him inside her trailer. he seemed particularly taken by her large jar of pink starbursts, which he immediately dug his hand into as she dropped down onto the couch. “woah, okay, diva. you make them sort out the other colors?”

“no,” she laughed, “i tweeted once that the pink ones are my favorite, so -- now they just send them to me.”

he grinned obnoxiously at her as he popped one in his mouth. “aren’t the pink ones everyone’s favorite? you’re not so special.”

“god, i hope you don’t talk to every girl you make out with like this,” she laughed, kicking her feet up onto the table in front of the couch. “no wonder everyone thinks you’re such a dick.”

raleigh laid a hand over his heart, looking wounded. “it’s not everyone. just the MARCs.”

“the marks?”

“M-A-R-Cs. mothers against raleigh carrera.” he said the words with a completely straight face. cadence looked at him skeptically.

“no way is that real.”

“wanna bet?” he pulled his phone from his pocket before dropping down onto the couch beside her. the long line of his body took up an inordinate amount of space in her trailer. “see for yourself.”

“huh. they even have a facebook page.” her eyes drifted from the phone screen back to his face, which was suddenly very close. “i guess you are every parent’s worst nightmare.”

raleigh laughed, staring at her for a long moment before moving away, putting some distance between them. “cadence, you flatter me. now -- what do you want for lunch? you need to carb up for this afternoon.”

she rolled over to the end of the couch, grabbing her stack of takeout menus off the side table and presenting them to him with amusement. “we have to film one scene.”

“yeah, but you’ll be in bed with me. that’s -- understandably, of course -- going to be a lot for you.”

cadence leaned over and kicked his ankle. “the show airs in primetime. we’re just going to be waking up together. it’s all in the subtext.”

“hmmm.” his eyes were on the menus, even as he said, “doesn’t mean we can’t bring it into the... foretext.”

she blinked at him. “i don’t think that’s a word.”

raleigh lifted his head. his eyes were serious and intense when they locked on hers, and again cadence found herself helplessly caught in his gaze. “you know what i mean.”

oh, god. was raleigh carrera hitting on her?

“um.” her eyes dropped to his lips, which quirked up at the corners as soon as he noticed. yeah. he was definitely hitting on her. raleigh carrera. hitting on her. she wondered what jared from ninth grade, who’d told her she was too ugly to go to homecoming with, would say if he was here.

presumably tired of waiting for her to try to make sentences, raleigh leaned in and kissed her. not because they were rolling, or because he thought they should run lines for later -- but because he wanted to.

cadence gasped, leaning back against the arm of the couch. raleigh shifted to lean over her, the takeout menus that’d been in his lap falling to the floor as he moved on top of her and pressed in close.

since they’d filmed wicked midnight’s pilot, there had been a lot of famous people who visited the set. but she’d never done this before with anyone, and she felt more than a little out of her depth as raleigh’s knees pushed her thighs open so he could grind down against her.

she felt like she was floating. he was a truly exceptional kisser, and the way he looked at her made her feel more than a little dangerous. if she was being honest, cadence wasn’t entirely sure what he thought he saw when he stared at her like he kept doing, but she was hardly in a position to question it when he tore his mouth away from hers, breathing hard, and started kissing down her neck instead.

her head tilted to the opposite side encouragingly, and her fingers found his hair again. “i thought you had a girlfriend,” she panted, the detail stuck in her mind, for some reason. she’d definitely read about it. she had a ridiculous name. peach? pear? plum?

“who, apricott?” that was it. “god, no. that’s just for press. and i can’t stand her.”

she did seem pretty terrible. “so why do you --”

raleigh lifted his head. cadence had trouble focusing on the expression on his face when one of his large hands was spanning what felt like the entirety of her side under her costume shirt, his thumb mindlessly stroking the skin beneath the waistband of her denim shorts. “look, i like you. so if you want to do this -- i’ll tell my publicist it’s over.”

what the fuck was happening? “if i want to... do what?”

he shrugged. he had all the confidence of someone who was never turned down. “hang out. see where this goes.”

well, she wasn’t that stupid. “i -- yeah, of course i do. like -- you mean... date, right?”

for a half-second, it looked like he was going to argue with her use of the word ‘date,’ but then that unreadable look was back on his face. raleigh nodded decisively. “yeah. date.”

“okay, i think you’re asking me out.” her voice was playful again and her racing heartbeat was starting to calm, her thoughts finally getting back on track. she could fake the same level of confidence he had, right? “in which case -- i totally accept, but... you’ll need to pull out all the stops.”

raleigh smirked at her, his grip on her side tightening before his hand relaxed. “oh, yeah? you want a limo full of pink starbursts? dinner on top of the empire state building? a helicopter ride to a walk on the beach? i’ve heard it all before.”

cadence laughed, running her fingers through his hair. the warm smile raleigh gave her made her heartbeat skip. “oh my god, are those your moves? yes, definitely. i want the full raleigh carrera experience.”

his eyebrows bounced up and down, and he wiggled his hips pointedly against hers. “you sure? it could be a long night.”

the laugh she gave him was breathless. cadence felt unbelievably giddy as she sunk her teeth into her bottom lip and watched raleigh’s eyes narrow in on it. “i’m kinda counting on that.”

they made out until their call time, rolling around on her couch like teenagers. cadence couldn’t remember another time she’d kissed anyone for literal hours before. the way raleigh looked at her, disheveled and wanting and flushed, when the pa finally knocked on her trailer door to call for them, made her want to play hooky and blow off returning to set -- just so they could keep doing this.

her indecision must’ve shown on her face. raleigh pressed his thumb against her bottom lip and sighed heavily. “you are so, so, so beautiful. i can’t wait to introduce you to second base.”

she laughed. “i have been there before, you know.”

raleigh’s hands slid slowly down her body, full of intent. “not with me.”

the poor pa knocked on her door again. “um, ms. dorian? you’re really needed on set, now.”

cadence lifted her hand to push at his shoulder. “get up, you’re going to get me in trouble.”

his fingers trailed ever-so-lightly over her bare thigh. “what’s life without a little trouble? besides, they literally can’t start without us. they can wait a few minutes.”

her hands moved to his messy hair, trying her best to smooth it back down. “they’re going to have to. we’re going to need another round of hair and makeup. and zadie’s going to kill me when she finds that thread you ripped.”

raleigh shrugged unrepentantly. “it was loose.” the unimpressed look she leveled him with made him sigh again. “fine, goody-two-shoes. we’ll go to set. but you’re in for it, later.”

anticipation sang through her, quick and thrilling. “oh, yeah?”

he groaned and rolled to stand. “don’t start, or i’ll never let you go. come on.”

every eye in the studio followed them when they stepped into the bedroom scene. they separated to get changed, and cadence blushed all over when she traded her nondescript top and shorts for just a bra and panties, prompting zadie to hone her gaze in on the fresh hickey starting to bloom across her collarbone. “i love the commitment. very method.”

cadence stalked off back towards the bed; raleigh was already shirtless and under the sheets, scrolling through his phone. for a moment, she pretended like they were at home in her apartment, and let herself really look at him. he looked good -- great. incredible.

he whistled at her when he saw her. that didn’t help her blush. a few members of the lighting crew laughed, double checking the scene when she slipped into the bed beside him.

katie from makeup came over with powder. she didn’t say anything about cadence’s hickey, even when raleigh very obviously leaned in, pressed his thumb against it and laughed, “oh, shit. sorry about that.”

it would have been a perfect time for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, but they started rolling, instead.

cadence had her back to raleigh, his arm slung low across her waist. lexi was supposed to wake up first, so she did, holding up a hand against the artificial bright light of the fake sun-filled window in her face. she groaned, pressing against her forehead, and then noticed the arm around her and slowly turned towards raleigh.

her eyes went wide. “jason?”

she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle the smile that threatened as raleigh woke up so adorably. he made a soft, sleepy sound of confusion from beside her, cracking one eye open. “lexi. i thought i dreamt that.”

her expression was gentle for a split second before it hardened. she shook her head. “it was just a one-time thing,” she insisted brusquely, pulling away. “i was drunk.”

“you weren’t that drunk.”

cadence was pointedly not looking at him. “we were high.”

raleigh laughed. “that, i’ll give you.” as she moved to get up out of the bed, his arm swung out and grabbed her, holding her still. “hey.”

she looked back at him expectantly. raleigh was great at acting nervous, swallowing hard while his eyes darted around the room. “can i see you again?”

cadence shook her head. “i don’t think so.”

“why not?”

“because... i’m a mess, jason. look at me. i deserve to be alone.”

“lexi...”

she shook her head, pulling out of his hold. raleigh let her go, and she started moving around the set by the bed, picking up the pieces of her outfit. “forget it.”

he slid to the edge of the bed, sitting on the mattress in just his briefs. both she and her character were trying not to stare. “you know, for what it’s worth... i don’t think you’re a mess. i think you’re pretty cool. and you’re -- you’re going to be okay, lexi.”

her lips pursed. her voice wavered when she said, “you don’t even know me.”

raleigh stood, crowding into her space. “actually, i think i know you better than you think. so that’s why... i’m okay with saying goodbye.” his eyes searched her face. “can i kiss you one last time?”

cadence drew in a shallow breath and nodded. raleigh cupped her face in his hands, holding her jaw steady, and kissed her hard. she had to actively fight the urge to pull him closer, knowing that lexi was still resistant to letting him get close -- but it was hard, when raleigh was such an expert kisser, the movement of his mouth against hers making her weak in the knees.

she was almost relieved when the director called, “cut! that was great, guys. we definitely got it. raleigh -- thanks for coming out, man. awesome stuff today. hopefully we can have you back soon.”

he reached out and ruffled her hair, grinning brightly. “only if you keep sticking me with this one.” cadence elbowed him in the side. “seriously, thanks for having me. this was really cool.”

zadie was holding out a robe for her. cadence reluctantly stepped out from raleigh’s body heat and put it on, smiling softly at the way he pouted when she tied it closed.

he stepped up close and lowered his voice so none of the many, many people moving around them could hear. “so, are you done for the day? can i buy you a drink?”

“ooooh, are we going out for drinks?” somehow, jaylen stepped up between them, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “hi, i don’t think we got a chance to meet, yet. jaylen riaz -- i play rosa martinez.”

“...right. good to meet you. i’m raleigh.”

jaylen laughed as though he’d just made a funny joke. “of course i know who you are, silly. do you think i live under a rock?”

raleigh’s eyes were begging for help. cadence leaned in between them. “you should totally meet us when you’re wrapped for the day. i’ll text you where we wind up, but -- first we need to grab some food.”

“right.” raleigh’s lips twitched. “we skipped lunch.”

the memory of what they’d been doing instead threatened to make her blush, but cadence fought it off, wary of the way jaylen was looking back and forth between the two of them. “okay,” she said finally, her voice slow and thoughtful, “sounds fun.”

fortunately, they made it back to her trailer before she lost it, dissolving into giggles. cadence leaned her back against the closed door as her shoulders shook with laughter. “god,” she grinned, “you are such a dick.”

“me?” raleigh demanded, “what about you? you should totally meet us.”

“okay, i do not sound like that.” cadence dropped her robe and started getting dressed in the clothes she’d wore to set that morning, what felt like a hundred years ago. “and i was just being nice. she totally likes you, she’s going to be so pissed at me when she finds out this is, like, a thing.”

“i guess i am irresistible,” he sighed, expertly ducking the t-shirt she threw at him. “i can’t fault her for her good taste.”

“it’s amazing your ego even fits in here.” she reached for her purse, pulling out her phone. she’d hardly looked at it all day, and it was alive with activity -- her manager had texted her about... forty-five times. cadence scrolled down to the bottom and saw the message that started it all: what’s this i hear about you getting cozy on set with raleigh carrera? sure you want to go down that road?

she grimaced. “let me guess,” raleigh said, cutting through her thoughts, “someone doesn’t want you getting messed up with me.”

cadence hesitated, her non-answer an answer on its own. he dragged his tongue across his teeth. “it’s really up to you, though, isn’t it?”

it was. “yeah,” she nodded, “and i don’t care about any of that, anyway. are you sure i’m not causing trouble for you? what about your fake girlfriend?”

he rolled his eyes. “she’ll get over it. as long as you’re okay, i’m okay.”

she smiled. “i’m okay,” cadence confirmed, “whatever happens -- i can handle it.” the look he was giving her was difficult to decipher, but she thought he might be pleased. she hesitated. “you’re... sure you want to do this, though? it’s okay if you just got caught up in the story.”

“uh, hello? i already slept with lexi d’agosto, remember?” the obnoxious grin he was wearing softened at the sight of the expression on her face. “cadence, i’m sure. i like you. i want to hang out more -- see where this goes. you’re the one i should be double-checking.”

“no way.” she gestured for him to follow her out of her trailer, into the film lot. “you’re not going to get out of giving me the full raleigh carrera experience. i don’t care what it costs you to buy out the empire state building.”

he laughed, his hand finding hers to link their fingers together. “i think you’ll change your tune after the blogs get wind of this, but -- fair enough.”

eventually, they reached the security gate. she’d have to walk them out into the street to find the car that was waiting for her, and if her manager had already heard the rumors sparking from their day on set, that meant that it was likely a few photographers had, too. once they left the film lot, there was no going back.

raleigh squeezed her hand. “ready for your life to get messier?”

things had been awfully predictable, lately. “definitely. ready for yours to get more awesome?”

“oh, absolutely.” together, they started off down the street. camera flashes exploded behind her eyelids, but she kept her head down, fighting a smile all the way to the car.

at least whatever happened next was bound to be interesting.

#raleigh carrera #platinum #raleigh carrera x mc #raleigh x mc #raleigh x cadence #myfic #cadence dorian #i love aus and i'm not sorry !#i like the dialogue in this one i hope you guys do too !! we love a couple with banter !!#sorry the fake show is cheesy lmao i picture it like something on the cw

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lost-in-sokovia · 4 years

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❗️to all of the members of the beautiful lgbtq+ community, please read. very important information❗️

starting june 1st, many anti-lgbtq supremacists, homophobes, transphobes, and other hateful people will be trying to cause fear and violence in a hate movement called “pride fall.” a bunch of 4chan users will be posting and tagging graphic lgbtq+ content including r*pe, m*rder, and k*dnapping. many people will be trying to send links to track you down and k*dnap/k*ll people. it’s not certain wether or not this is actually happening or if it’s all a hoax to ruin things, but we need to stay safe. one thing you can do is try and remove any indication you are part of or an ally to the lgbtq+ community from your bios. it’s rumored allies will be targeted as well. you should also try and make any social media accounts private. do NOT click on any suspicious links or accounts and make sure to report suspicious activity and accounts. it’s best to try and lay low this month or until it’s deemed safe or not happening. i’m so sorry this is happening, none of you deserve this. i want you all to be super careful this month. THE TREVOR PROJECT CAN BE REACHED AT 1-866-488-7386. please be safe everyone. i’m here if you need to talk and i want you to know this is a safe space.

please reblog and spread the word. stay safe lovelies.🤍🏳️‍🌈

( @venusbarnes )

#lgbtq rights #lgbtq #lgbt art #love is love #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #lgbtq+

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paintedrecs · 4 years

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@mad-madam-m tagged me in the “list 5 OTPs from 5 fandoms” meme a couple days ago, which I laughed at her for because (a) she knows my otps FULL WELL (b) our lists are very nearly an exact match (which i am by the way delighted about because half my list right now is full of rare pairs, and I have never before known the hell of treading that landscape alone)

but!

I’m gonna do the meme and double it up as an announcement of what I am currently into and what you’re likely to see on this blog if I start picking up my activity levels a little.

I honestly have no idea how active tumblr is at this point - how many of you are still around, and how many of you I might lose if I start reblogging my other fandoms in addition to Sterek - but after doing a Pillowfort experiment for a while, I think I’ve finally figured out how to use social media again in a way that works better for me.

My old method, before tumblr kinda imploded and fandom got weird (filled with antis and ship hate and constant infighting, ugh why), was to create a separate blog for everything I was into, which is why I have appreciatederek, appreciateshiro, appreciatejack, and...is that it? See, this is why I need to stop scattering myself into a zillion different pieces.

So I’m going to consolidate more (like I do on twitter and now Pillowfort), and also hopefully get back to my fandom roots: digging into more meta, like I did 8 years ago when I first fell in love with Sterek, and posting fic recs, like I also did thanks to Sterek. (And sharing my own fics as I write them. Guess which fandom pushed me down that path, too.)

So it’s fitting that the first ship on this list is...well, an obvious one.

1. STEREK (Teen Wolf)

Y’all know this one. Sterek will always, always be the OTP of my heart. I love their dynamic. I love the creativity and passion of the fandom. I love that they brought my writing back to me and introduced me to so many of you.

I still have dozens of Sterek fic ideas; quite a few of them are partially written or have significant outlines, so at some point I will still be writing them. Life is just, as you know, very busy and very tiring and it’s so hard to fit everything into my days. I’m working on it, I promise.

I’d like to start doing more updates with snippets of my upcoming fics, maybe a lil Q&A if anyone wants to chat about what I’m working on/my thought process behind what I’ve already written/what you’d like to see from me, etc. Interactive fun stuff! Sterek fandom is still the best and most supportive fandom I’ve ever been a part of, and it makes me happy every time I’m reminded we’re all still around and thriving.

And here’s some of the other stuff I’m into right now...

2. XANATOWEN (Gargoyles)

I have been sailing this ship entirely by myself since January, recently joined by the aforementioned M, who also created this gif for me while she was still in the patient “I’m your friend, I will listen to you yelling about this show” stage. (ha ha ha look at her now, that’s what you get)

I’ve been genuinely holding myself back from spamming tumblr with my thoughts about this show and this ship, which I’m beginning to realize is...maybe silly. I’ll still try to keep it a little bit balanced, but you can definitely look forward to more Gargoyles on the horizon, including:

Fics - 30k so far, with another 4.6k that I’m hoping to post this afternoon, after I look over it and decide if I still like it (ha ha fic writing amirite). I also have a fairy tale AU that I’ve done a substantial outline for, so I’d really like to get that underway.

Episode recaps/meta posts - these are currently being posted over on Pillowfort. The goal is to get the last two episodes of Season 1 up there, then to start crossposting them here.

As long as it’s not a gigantic hassle to paste over all the screencaps, because I uh. I have a lot of them. And a lot of thoughts about the show as a whole, but particularly about the relationship between David Xanatos and Owen Burnett: the meta’s currently averaging from about 1.5k to 2.5k per episode, whoooops.

I love them. I love them a LOT. See my meta posts for very detailed explanations as to why.

3. TREVORCARD (Castlevania)

I honestly did not expect to get this deeply invested in this ship. I watched and liked the first two seasons of Castlevania and really enjoyed the dynamic between Trevor and Alucard, but it wasn’t until the lead-up to Season 3 (and then the devastation of how absolutely terrible that season was) that I realized how much I loved these two together.

So now I’m having a very Sterek Fandom moment of “eff you canon, they’re ours now” in regards to Trevorcard.

I’ve written one fic for them - it’s a 20k coffee shop/modern/college/artist/musician AU because they deserve all the fandom tropes and so much happiness together..

I don’t currently have plans to write any more, although if I do, it’ll likely be some sort of neighbors AU with wolf!Alucard, since my vast experience with Sterek fandom has taught me the absolute joys of exploring characters who can canonically turn into a beautiful giant effing wolf.

I’ve also been steadily reading my way through every single Trevorcard fic in the AO3 tag, which unfortunately is only ~200. (HOW is this a rare pair. I will never ever understand it, they’re perfect together, and the animators literally said they intentionally storyboarded moments like the one above with the knowledge that people would start shipping them.)

Once I’ve finished up my AO3 tour, I’m going to compile the ones I enjoyed into rec lists. There are some really wonderful fics in there, and I’m excited to see what the rest are like.

4. TAIBANI (Tiger & Bunny)

I really don’t talk about this ship much, but it’s so immensely close to my heart. I have...so much...official merch of Kotetsu and Barnaby; it makes me happy every single time I see it. If I used my Tiger & Bunny stuff as the standard for what sparks joy during a konmari, the rest of my apartment would probably wind up empty.

The show (which is finally getting a second season in 2022 - Kotetsu & Barnaby had better be getting married) is wonderful. I genuinely can’t recommend it enough. Great writing, wonderful character development, beautiful animation, and Kotetsu and Barnaby are absolutely perfect together. Here’s an old post where I talk about that a little bit.

I’ve only written one fic so far: a canon compliant established relationship future fic that focuses more on their family dynamic as Kotetsu’s daughter adapts to turning 18, becoming a hero, and living with her frustratingly affectionate dad & his new husband.

I have ideas for two AUs: a single dad mature student/young professor one and a sorta weird circus/steve irwin-inspired one. We’ll...we’ll see if I ever get around to either. What I end up writing always surprises me, so I sorta give up on planning what words will come out.

And oh wait! I totally forgot about the third idea, which will be roughly canon compliant, with “Kotetsu sets Barnaby up on a series of blind dates that Barnaby initially thinks will be with HIM” angsty/funny fic. Hrm. I should get back to that one, I’ve outlined part of it.

I haven’t actually read a ton of fic for this pairing, because the more I like canon material, the less I seek out fandom content to “fix” it, but I would like to start going through the AO3 tag after I finish my Trevorcard project. I did an initial rec list ages ago and would like to follow up with another.

5. SHEITH (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Here’s the last pairing I write fics for. I have several more in progress that I’d really like to finish - including a dragon AU that I wish someone else would just finish for me so I can read it, hahhhhhhh sigh. I wrote 15k, did a ton of research, and basically intimidated myself out of continuing, because it’s one of my Big Projects. Not gonna be like, PDIW length or anything, but it should be a pretty hefty fic once it’s done.

Then there’s the roommates AU, the burrito shop AU, the....wow. I really need to get back to these, don’t I. A couple of them are super close to being finished, too.

I’ve also compiled a few fic rec lists, although I haven’t updated those (or my Sheith blog) in a while.

This fandom has been...interesting. Rough sometimes. Sliding into some of the other pairings on this list has provided a good break for me, particularly since they’re all such small fandoms that they’re relatively free from drama and hate. Once I’m fully refreshed and re-inspired, I’d love to get back into writing Sheith. They’re such a perfect, feel-good, extraordinarily balanced and supportive ship, and I am disappointed every single day I remember that Voltron didn’t stick the landing with making them canon.

Look at that almost-kiss. Just...look at it. And tell me they aren’t in love.

#gargoyles #sterek #trevorcard #taibani #tiger and bunny #xanatowen #sheith #meme #about me #about my fics

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teatin · 5 years

Note

Character personalities bounce around so much in comics (especially over decades), that it's hard to say there is any definitive characterization of a particular character. But is there is any particular characterization that you think Steve Trevor is, or should be? I've read several different opinions on Diana, as she's the hero, but few on Steve. Fewer than on Lois, but then that's probably largely because of his changed role in the post-Crisis era.

This is going to be very long, so buckle up, my friends.

(Also, some of these arguments apply more to Post-Flashpoint which has become the designated canon in my mind, rather than Pre-Crisis. Post-Crisis Steve Trevor on the other hand is a whole different creature altogether.)

I think my preferred characterization of Steve Trevor is already his canon characterization in most comics and media (of course, considering the nature of comic book characters, there are bound to be aberrations here and there, but the essence of Steve Trevor as a character has remained more or less the same across the multiverse, even if his importance in WW mythos fluctuated depending on the writer), but I’m going to give you a detailed run-down anyway. Here is my ideal characterization of Steve Trevor:

First of all, any Steve Trevor that’s gonna be worth my time (and Diana’s) needs to be, without a doubt, a good man. I absolutely cannot stress this enough. I don’t understand those who want to give Diana a boorish, sexist love interest just so she can show what a feminist character she is by teaching him to be less of an asshole. Maybe instead of going the hamfisted route of giving her a jerkass love interest so she can preach feminism to him (and by extension, the audience), pair her up with a genuinely good man who looks at her like she hung the moon and absolutely, wholeheartedly adores her. Because if Diana is truly meant to be a feminist character (and she is), she would’ve never settled for anything less in the first place.

More importantly, Steve Trevor doesn’t just have to be a good man, he needs to represent humanity at its best. He may make mistakes, he may stumble and fall, but in the end, his moral compass sets him true North again. I’ve always believed that it is extremely important for the first man Diana meets to be a good person. The whole essence of Diana’s first meeting with Steve Trevor is that this woman, upon seeing an outsider stumble upon her shores, despite her sisters’ misgivings and preconceived notions about men, despite all their faults and failings she must’ve no doubt been told of, chooses to save his life simply because he’s wounded and dying and that’s what she does. Along the way, she becomes attracted to his kindness and his commitment to do what is right and is inspired to help. Make no mistake, I firmly believe that Diana would’ve left Themyscira to become mankind’s champion sooner or later, with or without Steve’s intervention, but meeting him was still a pivotal moment in her hero origin story. If Steve wasn’t portrayed as a brave, noble man, the story wouldn’t have the same effect. If he were a dick, Diana would have looked like a fool trusting an outsider instead of listening to the wiser counsel of her sisters, thus reinforcing the Amazons’ isolationist way of life. If he were an asshole, Diana’s decision to follow him to Man’s World would just look like she ran away with the first pretty man she saw instead of his courage inspiring her to fight for what is right.

Secondly, Steve Trevor needs to... not have any superpowers. And by extension, he needs to be perfectly fine with Diana swooping in to save his ass. Basically, he needs to be the epitome of anti-toxic masculinity. I’ve written at length about this from a narrative standpoint (more to be found in my #wondertrev meta tag), about how subversive it is to have Diana be physically stronger than Steve, who is a soldier, so basically she’s better than him at not only what is considered the traditionally “masculine” trait, but also the one thing he’s supposed to be good at, and yet he adores her for it. It’s so refreshing to see a couple challenging gender roles in the superhero genre of all things. Because if you see nothing wrong with Superman saving Lois Lane and carrying her bridal style but laugh about Diana doing the same for Steve, congratulations, you have some sexist double standards to sort out, because they’re the exact same goddamn thing.

From an in-universe standpoint, I like Steve Trevor as a normal human because despite his vulnerabilities as a mortal man, he matches Diana’s gumption and tenacity to do what is right. They may not be evenly matched in physical strength, but they share the same strength of spirit, and I do believe that is something that drew Post-Flashpoint Diana and Steve to each other. If Steve, a human man prone to injury and death, is doing his best to help make this world a better place, then Diana, an Amazon warrior goddess with superpowers at her disposal has no reason to do anything less. Gods and aliens and metahumans saving the world? That’s natural, they have the means to do so after all. Ordinary humans doing their best for a good cause despite their tiny efforts going up against insurmountable odds? Sis appreciates that much more, methinks.

Lastly, I want a Steve Trevor who is open about his feelings. A Steve Trevor who never hesitates to tell Diana how much he loves her every chance he gets. A Steve Trevor who can be Diana’s constant when the world seems so changeable and uncertain. A Steve Trevor who can be there for her when she comes home and takes off her armor. Someone she can be vulnerable with. Someone who sees her as a person, not a princess or a warrior or a superhero. Someone who loves her privately, intimately, in a way the world will never get to see.

That being said, that last part is just me waxing poetic about my ship. I don’t think a romantic relationship with Diana is a requirement for a well-written Steve Trevor. These two are important to each other regardless of the nature of their relationship, and any version that downplays their bond just because they’re not lovers is sorely missing the point. I have a lot more to say about their relationship (romantic or platonic), but alas, this is getting too long. I’ll save it for my next long-winded meta.

If you’ve read this far, I applaud your commitment. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m really not.

#wondertrev #wonder woman #steve trevor #ask #long post #wondertrev meta

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headcanonsandmore · 6 years

Note

Not to drop this on you but why should I stay alive

First of all, it’s no problem. I’m here for you, anon. I’m always here if you want to talk about things.

Second; while ending it might mean that the possibilities of bad things happening are reduced to zero, it also eliminates any possibility that things will improve.

I’ve been in bad places before, and I understand the feeling of wanting to end things. But please don’t; the world might have some bad things going on, but it’s also got so many good things happening too.

Your life has value.

You have your whole life ahead of you. you have so many more years that you can accomplish things in. For example;

having a family.

getting married.

to watch the sun rise.

to watch the sun set.

to save someone else’s life.

finish school.

get your dream job.

to laugh.

to smile.

to go camping.

travel to new places.

to wake up every morning to the person you love.

friends.

family.

to keep that promise you made.

to accomplish a goal.

to meet your idol.

to listen to new music.

theme parks.

video games.

chocolate.

to be able to look back and say “i made it”.

what you’re going through is temporary.

In case you need to hear this:

you are loved.

you are wanted.

you are needed.

you are beautiful.

you are handsome.

you are important.

you are not alone.

you are okay.

you are strong.

you are worth it.

you are smart.

you are not a failure.

you are useful.

you are going to be okay.

coping

caring for yourself

domestic abuse

chat rooms

survivors chat

fort refuge

pandy’s

add/adhd

coping

coping tips for attention deficit disorder

12 best tips for coping with adhd

50 tips on the management of adult attention deficit

medication

adhd medication chart: compare drugs for add and adhd

drugs used to treat adhd/add

add/adhd medications: are adhd drugs right for you

adhd medication side effects, drug types, precautions

addiction

coping and recovery

tools of recovery: addiction coping skills

5 ways to deal with urges and cravings

after rehab: 5 ways for addicts to cope

addiction recovery

coping with urges

dealing with cravings

anger

coping

strategies to keep anger at bay

anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

anger management: tips and techniques

feeling angry

controlling anger — before it controls you

dealing with anger

how to cope with anger

anger management: what works and what doesn’t

ten commandments of anger regulation

anxiety

coping

a list of stress relievers

identifying and managing anxiety

11 assorted anxiety tips for anxiety sufferers

how to work through feelings of isolation

tips and tricks for dealing with anxiety

anti-stress breathing tips

how to stay under control with severe social anxiety

coping with social anxiety

managing stress

how to help a friend with anxiety

help guide (therapy)

half of us

job interviews and social anxiety

dealing with anxiety

coping with test anxiety

tips for flying anxiety

grounding techniques

more grounding techniques

even more grounding techniques

mindfulness

belly breathing

living with anxiety

social anxiety disorder self help tips.

coping with flashbacks

what anxious racing thoughts are like for me

using a thought diary

panic attacks

how to handle panic attacks

exploring and coping with panic attacks

10 rules for coping with anxiety and panic

tips to cope with panic attacks

rules for coping with anxiety and panic

understanding and coping with panic attacks

understanding and helping panic attacks and panic disorders

help guide (panic attacks & panic disorder)

coping with panic attacks workbook

rules for coping with panic

panic attack workbook 2

medication

help guide (anxiety medicine)

common medications for anxiety disorders

guidelines for medication use

bipolar disorder

coping

bipolar disorder and self-help

living with bipolar disorder

how to deal with bipolar disorder without medication

10 ways to cope with bipolar disorder

coping skills

help guide (self help)

bipolar support tumblr

medication

help guide (bipolar disorder medication guide)

help guide (treatment)

chat rooms

healthfulchat

bipolar world

healing well

depression

coping

how to cope with depression

how to cope with depression 1

natural depression treatments

ways to deal with depression/stress

tips to help overcome loneliness

10 tips on how to work through feelings of social isolation

8 tips to overcome loneliness

ways to deal with depression/stress

having a bad day?

make a comfort box

10 things to do when you feel like crap

how to find a new normal in the middle of depression

you are not alone in the way you think you are

reasons to stay alive

how to stop trying to think yourself into happiness and actually arrive there

cheer me up

help guide (dealing with depression)

help guide (helping someone with depression)

medication

what to expect with antidepressants

finding the right anti-depressant

chat room

healthfulchat

healing well

eating disorders

recovery

281 reasons to recover

eating disorders and emotional eating test

relapse prevention

bloating, indigestion, & feeling too full

why you must eat

learning to love your body

tips to stop restricting

dealing with weight gain

10 steps to bulimia recovery workbook

coping with exercise addiction

tips to help with bulimia recovery

help guide (emotional eating)

help guide (binge eating)

help guide (bulimia)

help guide (helping someone with an eating disorder)

help guide (treatment and recovery)

stop hating your body

body positive zone

self care 101

self esteem

30 day self esteem challenge

developing positive self esteem

learning-to-love-yourself

something fishy

ways of coping with eating disordered behaviors

the addiction help center

friends with illness

how to deal/talk with bipolar and depressed people

what to do when your friend is talking about suicide

what to do if someone you know is overdosing

what to do if your friend is hurting themselves

how to help someone who is suicidal

here’s what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide

tips for looking after someone with depression

friends with metal illness?

what to do when someone is suicidal

help guide (helping someone with depression)

grief and loss

help guide (coping with a breakup or divorce)

help guide (coping with grief & loss)

help guide (coping with pet loss)

help guide (supporting a grieving person)

help guide (the five stages of grief)

ocd

coping and treatment

natural treatment options

treatments for obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd)

additional treatment options for ocd

residential treatment for ocd

medications for obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd)

a new relationship to your obsessions

how to find help for ocd

ocd: exposure therapy versus medication

cognitive therapy for ocd

chat rooms

healthfulchat

ocd-uk

perfectionism

coping

how to overcome perfectionism

learn to manage perfectionism

how to overcome perfectionism & procrastination

perfectionism - stress management

10 steps to conquer perfectionism

perfectionists coping with failure

ptsd

coping

coping with flashbacks

self help strategies for ptsd

coping with traumatic stress reactions

post-traumatic stress - self-help guide

understanding and coping with ptsd

coping with ptsd

schizophrenia

coping

living with schizophrenia

coping with schizophrenia

schizophrenia coping and recovery

schizophrenia: coping with delusions and hallucinations

paranoid schizophrenia coping and support

treatment

an introduction to the treatment of schizophrenia

treatment of schizophrenia

drugs to treat schizophrenia

common drugs and medications to treat schizophrenia

treating schizophrenia successfully

self-harm

cut something that’s not real skin

half of us

help guide

recover your life

self-injury outreach & support

how to care for cuts

resisting cutting

25 ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm

tips to help stop cutting

99 coping skills: things to do instead of cutting

what to do when someone sees

how to fade/cover scars

alternatives for cutting 1

alternatives for cutting 2

alternatives for cutting 3

alternatives for cutting 4

alternatives for cutting 5

self-love

how to stop putting yourself down

self confidence

how to improve your self-esteem

how to be ok with yourself

tips on self-love

confidence

learn to love yourself

when told you are not pretty

emergency compliment

lessons for self-love

suicide

coping with suicidal thought

what to do when someone is suicidal

how to help someone who is suicidal

here’s what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide

help guide (suicide prevention)

help guide (dealing with suicidal thoughts & feelings)

therapy

how to get free therapy

getting a therapist - a brief step-by-step

psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?

50 signs of good therapy

50 warning signs of questionable therapy

the quiet place

things to do when you feel bad

when you’re not having a good day

reminders

self care suggestions

take a break

the thoughts room

90 second relaxation

the dawn room

the comfort spot

control a rainstorm

calm

how to make changes in your life

imalive

crisischat

7 cups of tea

kids help phone

positive love network

trans lifeline: 877-565-8860

depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696

suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433

lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

trevor project: 1-866-488-7386

sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743

eating disorders hotline: 1-847-831-3438

rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673

grief support: 1-650-321-5272

runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

exhale: after abortion hotline/pro-voice: 1-866-439-4253

Crisis Text Line!

Text HOME to 741-741

Look through my ‘tw: suicide’ tag for more information relating to hotlines, suicide prevention, and reasons why you shouldn’t end it all.

Below are the numbers for suicide hotlines. Please talk to someone.

Please stay alive, anon. Things will get better.

#ask #anon #tw: suicide #it's gonna be okay

156 notes · View notes

arotechno · 6 years

Text

The Origins of Aspec Discourse: History and Reflection

Disclaimer: If you’re an exclusionist, just block me. Don’t reblog this post or come into my inbox with your unwarranted opinion, because I will just block you instantly. This is an intracommunity post so aspecs can know our own history, and it is not about you or what you have to say about aspec people. We are beyond the point of civil discussion.

Disclaimer 2: I’m an aro blog but my asexuality is really going to come through on this post more than anything. I don’t have much info here about aros specifically. Given the amount of aro erasure that exists, this should not be a surprise.

On the Arocalypse server, we’ve been having a lot of discussions lately about the discourse, its origins, and its implications. As someone who found the aspec community before the discourse started and watched it tear my community--and myself--apart over the last few years, I feel the need to put all of these puzzle pieces together so that we, as a community, can know where we’ve been, and hopefully determine where it is we’re headed.

History and Origins of the Discourse

Because of the way tumblr’s search function works or has worked in the past, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact origin of the discourse. The earliest usage of the tag that tumblr will show me comes from 2014, and the post in question (which I will not link as I do not have the OP’s permission; you can find it yourself if you’re that curious) alludes to intracommunity discussion, nothing about the discourse as it is referred to today. The earliest instance of that comes from 2015, which lines up pretty precisely with my own personal recollection of when things really went to shit.

But it didn’t start then, not even close.

Courtesy of unofficial aspec historian @aphobephobe, here are a few accounts of the history of ace discourse, so I don’t have to restate it all myself (this should go without saying, but warning for aphobia throughout the links below):

(1) How the ace discourse stemmed from and evolved alongside other types of LGBTQ+/queer discourse

(2) A rough timeline/how the discourse escalated on both sides

(3) A history of the terms used to refer to non-aspec people

All of this is speculation, but the spark that truly ignited the first wave of ace discourse as we know it today may have been The Trevor Project’s addition of asexuality to its training materials and the firestorm that erupted from there. Aphobes and TERFs like galesofnovember were outraged that the Project would create suicide hotlines for ace people, and tried to convince them not to. Rightfully, aces and aros were horrified, and that is likely what ignited tensions beyond the existing invalidation and arguing.

Interestingly, I don’t remember seeing any of this in 2013 when I joined tumblr, or in 2014 when I first discovered asexuality and aromanticism. Most of the people who were involved in 2010-2012 era discourse aren’t involved anymore, often due to burnout. The second wave, the one we’re living in right now, is the one I remember kicking off in 2015. This wave was likely sparked by the #GiveItBack campaign. After GLAAD insinuated that the A in the LGBTQ+ acronym stood for ally, aspecs pushed back against this and campaigned for GLAAD to correct its mistake. The organization listened, and this may have been the catalyst for renewed hostility between aspecs and non-aspecs. The rest is history (detailed recollections of how anti-aspec arguments evolved can be found in link 1 above).

Reflection

Over the last four years, I have watched ye olde discourse come back with a vengeance seemingly out of nowhere and take what I knew to be a welcoming community on the rise and eat it for breakfast. We talk about the Aro Renaissance and us coming back from the dead, but the truth is there’s been a target on our backs from the beginning. The arguments have just devolved, worsened in hostility, become circular. While 2010-2012 era discourse reads to me as less organized and less widespread, 2015-present era discourse comes across as the same systematic, formulaic discourse that tumblr is famous for; there is no nuance, and everyone involved is left feeling emptier than they did going in.

That’s not to discount its profound impact, especially on young or questioning aspecs; on the contrary, the discourse seems to have actually worsened over the years. I don’t know when dealing with this became an everyday struggle for aspecs, but no matter how hard we try to pretend we’re pushing through it, it always seems to come back down on us, harder.

The arguments involved in the ace discourse have devolved so much and become so repetitive that all potential for reasonable discussion was thrown out the window ages ago. I don’t mean to imply that the discourse was ever well-intentioned, but in the beginning there could have been some kind of mutual understanding. But those days are long behind us now.

Over time, the discourse has spread beyond tumblr. It isn’t just about tumblr drama anymore, and even the language we use to describe the discourse has changed over time to reflect that. In fact, if tumblr’s search function is to be believed, the earliest usage of #ace discourse wasn’t until 2014-2015. Tumblr has a tendency to wrap these kinds of conflicts up into neat and tidy bows, where someone could ask you for your opinions on x, y, and z discourse and you could be expected to have an answer. In 2015-2016 or so, no one even used the terms exclusionist or inclusionist, at least not as widely as they’re used now. We called people who were arguing against aspecs “ace discoursers”. Now, the exclusionist/inclusionist dichotomy, to me, suggests several things.

(1) The argument has devolved into a never-ending debate over whether or not aspecs, by virtue of being aspec, are part of the LGBTQ+ community. When you ask somebody about ace discourse, that is what they’re going to think of. But that angle destroys all of the nuance and ignores the seven or eight years of baggage that this “debate” carries with it. The discourse has never been just about who’s LGBTQ+ and who’s not. It has roots in prejudices that go so much deeper than that. It’s based in arguments that go so much deeper and get so much nastier than that.

(2) It turns the ace discourse into a piece of identity politics that you can be expected to have a stance on, regardless of your involvement. A lot of aspecs don’t want to come anywhere near the discourse or call ourselves inclusionists because it reduces our struggle to just exist in peace without being mocked, scrutinized, erased, and harassed at every possible moment to an opinion that can be changed if you debate with us enough.

(3) It makes it easier to treat the two sides of the discourse as equal. Most people involved in the discourse now weren’t involved in 2010-2012. Exclusionists are able to assert their cause as a noble one by presenting us as being on equal footing and claiming their goal is to protect the LGBTQ+ community while ignoring both the community’s history and the history of the complex and long-running discourse that they have stumbled into, one based explicitly in TERF rhetoric. Going back to my first two points, this isn’t a simple cut-and-dry “debate” between two equal sides. There is a history here that the exclusionist/inclusionist dichotomy sweeps under the rug in order to package it as something either more trivial (so aspecs are easier to mock) or as something more digestible for the uninitiated (so the discourse continues to spread beyond tumblr).

Sometimes I wonder how much of our collective aspec history got lost in the mix. I wonder if we became so focused on defending ourselves that we forgot how to make ourselves better. Sometimes I fear that somewhere along the way we lost some aspect of our radical and unapologetic origins in order to seem unimposing. There are a lot of discussions that get started now that would have been resolved years ago had none of this happened and put our community development on hold. Imagine where we could have been by now. I can only hope that, with the knowledge of how we got to this point, we can make it to wherever it was we were going.

I was reluctant to make this post, as staying quiet has always felt safer than speaking my mind. But I have been silent for four years, and I could not watch this go on anymore without saying something. Perhaps I needed the closure.

Making a change takes courage and it takes solidarity, and I think that might be what the aspec community needs most of all right now.

If anyone else has further documentation to contribute to the cause, especially if you were around 2010-2012, I’d really appreciate that. For now, I’m going to retreat back into the shadows and go back to not touching the discourse with a 10-foot pole.

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aspec #disk horse #aro history #ace history #long post #i am going to regret this post #salt

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closetofanxiety · 6 years

Text

Let’s Get Ready to (Review the Royal) Rumble!!

I watched all 11 hours of this thing, so I might as well jot down some thoughts

Rusev w/Lana vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

This was the first WWE pre-show I’ve watched in a long time. Lots of banter from the panel, which included Shawn Michaels. I’m not sure how often I will watch the pre-shows going forward. This match existed, and it concluded with a title change. Nakamura is your new United States champion. Lana took a bump and hurt her ankle in storyline. “Lana, get up!” Rusev yelled at his prone wife after she was knocked off the apron. Show a little more concern there, Rusev. Later in the show this would turn out to be a momentous ankle injury

Hideo Itami vs. Buddy Murhpy vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa

I haven’t watched 205 Live in forever, but I hear Mike Kanellis is there now. This match was not as sensational as I had expected, but it had some good spots. No reason for these guys to go full-tilt, I guess. They’re wrestling as the crowd files in to Chase Field, and when it’s done they go back to 205 Live. Kalisto should have won by default, as he is the only member of this quartet who weighs 205 pounds or less. He did not win, though, and Buddy Murphy remains your cruiserweight champion. In a year, perhaps this match will feature Kushida, Trevor Lee, Sonjay Dutt, and Kalisto. Always Kalisto. Poor, lost Kalisto.

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Although it would later become clear why this went on first, it was still a little surprising. And, to be honest, I did not love this match. It finished up very well, but until the last five minutes or so it was a lot slower and more tentative than I would have expected from these two. It ended on something of a surprise note, with Becky tapping and Asuka retaining. They’ve succeeded in bringing Asuka back from the foggy post-Wrestlemania wasteland in which they stranded her. What happens to her now? Another feud with Charlotte? They should bring up Io Shirai and Kairi Sane and form a new version of Triple Tails. They will not do this.

The Bar vs. Shane McMahon and The Miz

Mark and I watched this entire match barely 12 hours ago, and now all I can remember is Shane McMahon doing a credible Shooting Star Press. Few things in pro wrestling are more boring, in 2019, than the state of the Smackdown tag team title picture. And now there are new champs. Perhaps this is the beginning of splitting up The Bar. They’ve been a tag team since September 2016. They’re both terrific wrestlers and have had many good matches, but there’s nothing about them that really sticks with me. It doesn’t help that they have one of the worst tag team names in the history of pro wrestling.

Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks

I was surprised to see this match was almost 14 minutes long. It felt like it went by quickly. This was the best Sasha Banks match I’ve seen in a looooong time, and maybe Rousey’s best WWE match to date. She looked really good. The work with Gulak is paying off. Sasha also looked like the relentless competitor we remember from her NXT days. I enjoyed this match a lot. Based on what happened the last time I mentioned Ronda Rousey, I now expect to get several anonymous messages calling me a fucking imbecile. That’s OK. It’s true, I am a fucking imbecile, but Ronda Rousey is still good in a wrestling ring. After the match, Sasha held up the Horsemen/women sign. If Rousey is finishing up at Wrestlemania, I’m not sure they’re going to have time for the epochal Clash of the Horsewomen. Hey! One good thing about this match in particular is that Rousey didn’t win with her armbar. That’s good storytelling; it establishes her as a multi-tool threat.

Royal Rumble (women)

The last 5-10 minutes of this were an absolute blast, with Lana being unable to walk out because of her ankle, and Belfast’s Fit Finaly giving the green light to Dublin’s Becky Lynch to enter the match in Lana’s place. Cue a recording of the Wolfe Tones’ “We’re On the One Road.” When the field narrowed down to Becky, Charlotte, and Nia, it was a great moment. I am not a big Nia Jax advocate, but based on the crowd reaction, she is the top heel in the women’s division. Becky winning was a legitimately cathartic moment, and kudos to leathery madman Vince for making the right call. Unfortunately, the rest of the match was kind of a slog. The surprise entrants were great, and I was particularly pleased to see Io Shirai, Kairi Sane, and Candice LeRae. I once saw Candice LeRae wrestle in a tiny performance space that normally hosted noise bands and avant-garde literature readings. People on Twitter were complaining there weren’t enough “Legends” among the surprise entrants, but come on. The pool is not nearly as deep for the women as it is for the men. The biggest women stars of the Attitude Era tended to not be wrestlers, which actually was kind of true of the WWE women’s division even after the Attitude Era. They’ve already had Trish and Lita at the previous Rumble and the Evolution PPV; at some point, it’s not a surprise anymore. It’s also good to build up the future than to be like “Remember Kelly Kelly?? Well, here she is for three minutes of listless punching!” Maria Kanellis counts as a legend by that math, and she was in the Rumble. That was kind of a surprise. I had no idea what she and Alicia Fox were doing. It seemed like challenging absurdist theater, like they spontaneously decided to act out a scene from an Ionesco play. Talk about going into business for yourself. Swoggle also appeared and chased Zelina Vega around with a lascivious look on his face, which was, uh, unexpected.

Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles

First, let’s consider how great it is that a WWE championship match featuring two of the most popular wrestlers on the roster is in the cool-down spot after a women’s match. That genuinely rules. That would have been unthinkable as recently as two years ago. As the women get more and more popular, those Saudi shows are going to get harder to pull off. Hurry up with those reforms, Prince MBS! Haha, just kidding, they’re not going to reform their brutal autocracy. Oh, right; this match. This was a chore to watch. It was so boring. It was not helped by its spot on the card, but this listless, will-this-do performance wouldn’t have been good in any spot. These are two of the best wrestlers of the last 30 years, but sometimes it just doesn’t click. It did not click here. I was relieved when Erick Rowan made his mysterious (re)appearance because I knew it signaled the match was almost over. It seems they’re going to make Rowan some kind of eco-brute, helping Daniel Bryan advance his monstrous agenda of caring about the planet. Fine. At least he’s not dressed like a second-tier TMNT villain anymore.

Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. Finn Balor

By contrast, this was a hoot. They knew they had to recapture the crowd, and they went at it full-tilt for eight minutes. The story here was great: Brock was surprised to find himself being pushed to his limits by this lithe little Irishman, and so after he won, he lashed out like a petulant, over-the-hill bully. An example of how you can tell a great story in an eight-minute match. Not every big match has to be 25 minutes. Especially not that dogshit Daniel Bryan-AJ Styles match. It would have been great to see Finn win, but the Irish have to content themselves with Becky’s Rumble win tonight.

Royal Rumble (men)

This moved along at a quicker clip than the women’s rumble, perhaps because it was nearly 11 p.m. EST when it started. Damn and heck, this was a long show. It was lots of fun to see Jarrett come out in his ridiculous 1990s gear. HUGE missed opportunity by not having Honky Tonk Man come out, but you can’t have everything. Johnny Gargano looked great, Andrade looked great, Kurt Angle looked very, very old. The best moment was when Mustafa Ali eliminated his current antagonist, Samoa Joe. The incomprehension and fury on Joe’s face were magnificent grace notes. Joe is such a great addition to the roster. It’s crazy that it didn’t happen sooner. No Way Jose was essentially used as a quick punchline. Boy, that guy’s main roster tenure has not been pretty. The big surprise I guess was an enraged Nia Jax coming out and entering herself in the Rumble and then taking four guys’ finishers. CUE: CONTROVERSY. WWE’s been dipping its toes in intergender wrestling for a bit, but it’s hard to see them going whole hog. Nia is one thing, but imagine the response if it was Alexa Bliss being ethered by Randall Keith Orton. Seth Rollins was the odds-on favorite to win (although I picked Drew McIntyre, going with my heart rather than my head) so it feels a little anti-climactic that he actually won, but whatever. Afterwards, he pointed to the Wrestlemania “sign,” which was a computer graphic visible only to people watching on the network, so to those in attendance it looked like he was pointing out the place where he spotted a UFO.

#Royal Rumble #Royal Rumble 2019 #show reviews

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paintedrecs · 4 years

Note

For the fandom talk meme thingy: C (not trying to start drama I swear), I, K, R, and X. =D

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Hmmm, there are a few ways of answering this. One is by listing all my NOTPs, which would be excessively long and ultimately boring because it essentially boils down to “anyone else with either member of my OTP.” I monoship my primary pairings, so I’m pretty strict on what I do and do not like.

(With the way fandom is now, I should clarify that NOTP means that I personally do not like a ship and I therefore go out of my way to avoid it - by muting terms, carefully filtering tags and search results, curating my own space, etc. It doesn’t mean I think the ship is badwrong or that anyone else should stop shipping it. It just means I do not ever want to see it.)

This feels a little less specific on that front, though, maybe more just: people like this and I’m meh about it?

So Allydia comes to mind. I don’t hate it, and if the Sterek’s good enough I’ll still read a fic with them as a background pairing, but I don’t ever like it as a romantic ship. While I ship Lydia with lots of different characters, including Cora, I’ve always seen Allison as straight, so I suppose that’s part of it? And I love Lydia & Allison as bffs - I see them as entirely platonic, like Scott & Stiles, so introducing romance just doesn’t work for me.

Another one is Sheriff Stilinski/Peter Hale. I...I don’t understand it. Unlike the last answer, this background pairing will prevent me from reading a Sterek-central fic.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

This turned into a complicated and kind of roundabout answer, so I’m putting the rest of the questions under a long-post cut!

I stopped frequenting tumblr for two main reasons:

that whole weird purge thing that made me think everyone was leaving, so I just gave up, which might’ve been premature cause it seems like folks are still going strong on here

the emergence of antis, specifically within the Voltron fandom (although they’re everywhere at this point)

There’s a saying in fandom now:

“Why is the younger fandom generation like this?!??” “Tumblr raised them.”

For me, for years, tumblr was a really wonderful space where I had a lot of great conversations and read very thoughtful threads that helped me to learn some important things about myself, other people, and a world much wider than my own.

But I was an adult when I joined this site, and it really does seem like there’s a whole new crop of kids who have no actual context for ideas like social justice, the need for canonical representation in our media, and a lot of other things that eventually got folded into a big ball of disconnected rhetoric that they now fling as hard as they can at the heads of fandom creators who are committing the ultimate sin of creating content for ships they don’t like.

It’s late, and I don’t feel like getting into a whole Essay Rant about all that.

So on an entirely personal level, I quit running appreciatejack (my Check Please/zimbits/Jack Zimmermann blog) because someone sent me really vile hate for daring to ship Shiro/Keith from Voltron (two unrelated adults in a cartoon). It’s why I turned my ask boxes/anon/chats off on most of my blogs, and then eventually just...got tired of running them.

When I started up appreciatederek, I got a couple asks from people who wanted to know if it was going to be multiship or just Sterek, and when I said it was Sterek, they presumably went off to find other things they were into, because I never heard from them again. Y’know, the reasonable reaction. And then the rest of it was wonderful: finding content for it, and getting responses from people who enjoyed that content.

I thought appreciateshiro would be similar, but it was all so messy from the very start. The Sheith tag was FULL of hate. I was initially checking it every day, trying to find artists and writers and gif-makers to reblog and encourage and support, like I’d done in Sterek fandom, but instead I’d spend literal hours blocking people who came into that tag just to talk about how much they hated the ship.

Every day, I’d look for content for my OTP, and every day I’d come away from it angry and sad and frustrated. I never seemed to run out of people to block. And they never, ever seemed to run out of hate.

It was exhausting. It made me reluctant to go on tumblr at all. And eventually I just...sorta stopped.

So the answer to this question is more, I guess, “fandom made me stop liking tumblr, and in the process I stopped liking most fandoms.”

I’m sure you can kinda tell from the fandoms I’m currently the most invested in.

I love Sterek, and I will always love Sterek. Part of that’s the ship itself, of course, and part is because I had an incredible fandom experience with it. People within this fandom are still really great - always so welcoming and super excited about new content, even so many years on.

Otherwise, my current fandoms are kiiiiinda tiny:

Xanatowen (Gargoyles), which currently consists of exactly 2 people and 12 fics (3 of which are mine).

Trevorcard (Castlevania), which only has ~200 fics on AO3.

Taibani (Tiger & Bunny), which is an oldish fandom with only ~600 fics on AO3.

Remember, I came from a fandom that has SIXTY THOUSAND fics.

So while I feel very lonely and very sad about the low content levels in these fandoms, they’ve also given me the space to let go of some of my fandom hurt & anger and remember what it’s like to just...peacefully love something. I really miss just loving things and talking about loving those things and searching for other people who also love those things without running into....thousands upon thousands of people who HATE that you love that thing.

(Until I wrote all that out just now, I actually hadn’t realized how much this had still been hanging over me, or why I was so hesitant to come back to “reclaim” a space I’d once been super active and happy in. Essay over! Next questions.)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Answered here!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Answered here!

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Found family. This is probably a big part of why Sterek was my first real fandom, because the idea of Pack makes it incredibly natural to build out relationships beyond just the central romantic pairing.

It doesn’t have to be a werewolf thing, though. I’m honestly not hugely fond of the whole puppy piles concept - I’m less interested in “biological urges make characters literally physically all snuggle up together in bed” than I am in the actual build of the friendships, and the concept of choosing people who will become the family you’ve been missing for whatever reason.

Maybe it’s reconnecting with biological family, or maybe it’s discovering that your friends have been filling that space for you all along, without you even fully realizing it. (The concept of “home” is another big one for me. Home is where your heart is etc etc.)

And hey! Now I can pull back in another question from earlier: about “pairings” that I might not have initially considered. As I suspected, I do have more! Mostly platonic.

For instance: Derek and Sheriff Stilinski becoming bffs. I thiiiink I can probably tie my ABSOLUTE LOVE of this concept back to HalfFizzbin’s can't be hateful, gotta be grateful. And then Cupboard Love really has to be the source of ALL my alive!Hales feels, which also includes folding Stiles into their family.

Fic is largely responsible for building out Derek’s relationship with Boyd, Erica, Isaac, his sisters...making them into an actual pack and friends and family in the way the show never bothered. And frankly while I don’t like canon!Scott at all at this point, I love his friendship with Stiles in fics, and I absolutely believe Stiles and Lydia would be amazing friends once he got past his crush on her. I’d point to another fic here, owlpostagain’s will to follow through, as the ultimate source for major Team Human feels.

So yeah. I’m always going to be drawn to stories about family, in whatever form that takes, particularly if it’s one that’s a little bit off the normal white-picket-fence path.

In Tiger & Bunny, it’s Barnaby joining the Kaburagi family, and learning how to be a dad and a friend to his new husband’s daughter.

In Gargoyles, I’m completely obsessed with the (canonical!) idea of a family that consists of a man, his wife, their son, and the chaotically loyal fae babysitter/tutor/third parent. It is not a stretch to tweak this the tiiiiiiniest bit to turn it into a nontraditional family structure of a man, his wife, his son, and his fae boyfriend. Honestly.

In Castlevania, the fic that made me sob my eyes out at one point does something the show would absolutely never. It gives Alucard the time to rebuild his physical home while befriending the people in the little town that crops up around it. It’s about Trevor and Alucard falling in love, but it’s also about them making a place for themselves in a world where that kind of comfort and stability and friendship is so badly needed.

I think we all kinda need that in our world right now. So I love being able to find it in fic, for the characters who’ve grown to mean something to me.

#meme #fandom talk #long post #littlerosetrove #did tumblr seriously break my read more and stick it up in the ask section #i don't even know #thanks tumblr

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