#sie you hold power no other person holds. Thank you for your work

[i-mode]

[engelhexe]



50 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself

50 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself Right Now

by Sarah Lipoff Jan 5 2016

26.9K



When you're feeling down, turn things around with a few tips and tricks for thinking about things differently. No need to wallow when there are quick and simple ways to feel better about yourself. Feeling down can be triggered by a bad hair day, not being able to get over a mistake, or waking up 10 minutes late. Stop beating yourself up and try one of these suggestions:

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and visualize things working out.

Give yourself a quick pep talk.

Get in front of a mirror or your phone and smile. While working your grin, take a minute to acknowledge your looks and appreciate your favorite part of your face. Selfies are a great form of self-care.

Write down five things that you are proud of and stick the list in your wallet to pull out to remind yourself that you're awesome.

Call a friend and tell her you're feeling down. Sometimes just admitting you're not feeling great makes things better instantly.

Watch a silly pet video.

Give yourself an at-home manicure with a color you regularly wouldn't wear and flaunt it.

Make a coffee date with a good friend and ask her what she likes about you.

Take a deep breath, acknowledge things aren't going your way, and move on with your day.

Stop with negative self-talk. Switch the thoughts of negativity to positive mantras, such as "I am a strong woman!"

Write out a list of goals that are realistic and carry them with you.

Put down your phone and pay attention to what's going on around you. Just spending a few moments appreciating nature, unique faces, and the hustle and bustle gets your mind off things.

Zen out and meditate. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, and imagine something relaxing.

Stop comparing yourself to others! By trying to be similar to someone else, you're forgetting what's awesome about you.

You only get one body, so take care of it. Eat healthy, get some exercise, and you'll feel better in no time. And working out is a distraction from being in the dumps.

Arrange a personal shopping session at your favorite store and enjoy letting someone else dress you. There's no pressure to purchase any of the clothes, unless you want to treat yourself to something new.

Give yourself an at-home facial.

Go ahead and cry it out.

Write down what you're thankful for.

Take a walk by yourself. Stay in the moment, breathe in and out, and slow down.

Invite your friends over for a girls' night in.

Sing like no one can hear you. Really, it will change your mood in no time.

Talk to the person standing next to you in line. There's nothing to be afraid of — just make a bit of small talk, which is a fun way to connect with strangers and enjoy a laugh.

Clean your desk and start fresh.

Go through your closet and make a collection of clothes to donate. You'll feel better knowing your clothes will go to someone in need.

Give flowers to a good friend. The simple act of giving always lifts spirits.

Pet a dog or cat, which instantly calms nerves and lowers blood pressure.

Relive a favorite memory and hold on to the feeling.

Give someone a hug.

Smile big at a stranger. Once you start, it's hard to stop.

Put your shoulders back and act like you're walking the red carpet. Even though you're faking it, you'll help elevate your mood.

Do something different and change up your routine.

Grab your journal and write about what's bothering you.

Smell the flowers — or treat yourself to a stunning bouquet.

Stop thinking about that person you're crushing on and just ask them out!

Turn that frown upside down. Literally. Push negative thoughts to the side and think about something positive.

Plan the ultimate vacation, focusing on everything you want to do. Write down all the awesome places you'd like to explore and keep it handy when you need to focus on a better place.

Create a power board filled with pictures of yourself with loved ones along with inspirational words and images.

Forgive yourself. That's right. Stop giving yourself a hard time over things you can't control and give yourself a break.

Stop with should-have-could-have scenarios. You can't change the past, but you can put your best foot forward.

Indulge in something you love and remind yourself why it's one of your favorite things.

Love yourself and practice kindness.

Give up trying to be perfect and just be you.

Reflect on your accomplishments and acknowledge that you are pretty awesome.

Accomplish something on your to-do list.

Pick up a hobby.

Check out Positively Positive.

Remember it's OK to say "no" when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Challenge yourself to try something new.

Acknowledge your feelings. It's totally natural to feel insecure, and admitting it is courageous.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Matthew Barnes

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50 Möglichkeiten, sich besser zu fühlen

50 Möglichkeiten, sich jetzt besser zu fühlen

von Sarah Lipoff 5. Januar 2016

26,9K



Wenn Sie sich schlecht fühlen, drehen Sie die Dinge mit ein paar Tipps und Tricks um, um die Dinge anders zu denken. Sie müssen sich nicht suhlen, wenn es schnelle und einfache Möglichkeiten gibt, sich besser zu fühlen. Ein Gefühl des Niedergangs kann durch einen schlechten Tag ausgelöst werden, wenn Sie einen Fehler nicht überwinden können oder wenn Sie 10 Minuten zu spät aufwachen. Hören Sie auf, sich selbst zu verprügeln, und probieren Sie einen der folgenden Vorschläge aus:

Atmen Sie tief ein, schließen Sie die Augen und visualisieren Sie die Dinge, die funktionieren.

Gönnen Sie sich ein kurzes Gespräch.

Stellen Sie sich vor einen Spiegel oder Ihr Telefon und lächeln Sie. Nehmen Sie sich eine Minute Zeit, um Ihr Aussehen zu erkennen und Ihren Lieblingsteil Ihres Gesichts zu schätzen. Selfies sind eine großartige Form der Selbstpflege.

Schreiben Sie fünf Dinge auf, auf die Sie stolz sind, und stecken Sie die Liste in Ihre Brieftasche, um sich daran zu erinnern, dass Sie großartig sind.

Rufen Sie eine Freundin an und sagen Sie ihr, dass Sie sich schlecht fühlen. Manchmal wird es sofort besser, wenn man nur zugibt, dass man sich nicht gut fühlt.

Sehen Sie sich ein dummes Haustiervideo an.

Gönnen Sie sich eine Maniküre zu Hause mit einer Farbe, die Sie regelmäßig nicht tragen würden, und stellen Sie sie zur Schau.

Machen Sie ein Kaffee-Date mit einer guten Freundin und fragen Sie sie, was sie an Ihnen mag.

Atmen Sie tief ein, erkennen Sie an, dass die Dinge nicht in Ihre Richtung gehen, und fahren Sie mit Ihrem Tag fort.

Hör auf mit negativem Selbstgespräch. Schalten Sie die Gedanken der Negativität auf positive Mantras um, wie "Ich bin eine starke Frau!"

Schreiben Sie eine Liste realistischer Ziele auf und tragen Sie diese mit sich.

Legen Sie den Hörer auf und achten Sie darauf, was um Sie herum vor sich geht. Wenn Sie nur ein paar Momente damit verbringen, die Natur, die einzigartigen Gesichter und die Hektik zu schätzen, werden Sie von den Dingen abgelenkt.

Zen raus und meditiere. Schließen Sie die Augen, atmen Sie 10 Mal tief durch und stellen Sie sich etwas Entspannendes vor.

Hör auf dich mit anderen zu vergleichen! Wenn Sie versuchen, jemand anderem ähnlich zu sein, vergessen Sie, was an Ihnen großartig ist.

Du bekommst nur einen Körper, also pass auf dich auf. Essen Sie gesund, bewegen Sie sich und Sie werden sich in kürzester Zeit besser fühlen. Und trainieren ist eine Ablenkung davon, auf den Müllkippen zu sein.

Vereinbaren Sie einen persönlichen Einkauf in Ihrem Lieblingsgeschäft und lassen Sie sich von jemand anderem anziehen. Es besteht kein Druck, Kleidung zu kaufen, es sei denn, Sie möchten sich etwas Neues gönnen.

Gönnen Sie sich eine Gesichtsbehandlung zu Hause.

Gehen Sie voran und schreien Sie es aus.

Schreiben Sie auf, wofür Sie dankbar sind.

Machen Sie einen Spaziergang alleine. Bleiben Sie im Moment, atmen Sie ein und aus und verlangsamen Sie.

Laden Sie Ihre Freunde zu einer Mädchennacht ein.

Singe, als könnte dich niemand hören. Wirklich, es wird Ihre Stimmung in kürzester Zeit ändern.

Sprechen Sie mit der Person, die neben Ihnen in der Schlange steht. Es gibt nichts zu befürchten - machen Sie einfach ein bisschen Smalltalk, was eine unterhaltsame Art ist, mit Fremden in Kontakt zu treten und ein Lachen zu genießen.

Reinigen Sie Ihren Schreibtisch und fangen Sie neu an.

Gehen Sie durch Ihren Schrank und machen Sie eine Sammlung von Kleidungsstücken, um zu spenden. Sie werden sich besser fühlen, wenn Sie wissen, dass Ihre Kleidung an jemanden in Not geht.

Gib einem guten Freund Blumen. Der einfache Akt des Gebens hebt immer die Stimmung.

Streicheln Sie einen Hund oder eine Katze, die sofort die Nerven beruhigt und den Blutdruck senkt.

Erleben Sie eine Lieblingserinnerung noch einmal und halten Sie an dem Gefühl fest.

Umarme jemanden.

Lächle einen Fremden an. Sobald Sie anfangen, ist es schwer zu stoppen.

Legen Sie Ihre Schultern zurück und tun Sie so, als würden Sie über den roten Teppich laufen. Auch wenn Sie es vortäuschen, helfen Sie dabei, Ihre Stimmung zu verbessern.

Mach etwas anderes und ändere deine Routine.

Schnapp dir dein Tagebuch und schreibe darüber, was dich stört.

Riechen Sie die Blumen - oder gönnen Sie sich einen atemberaubenden Blumenstrauß.

Hören Sie auf, an die Person zu denken, auf die Sie sich verlieben, und fragen Sie sie einfach aus!

Drehen Sie das Stirnrunzeln um. Buchstäblich. Schieben Sie negative Gedanken zur Seite und denken Sie über etwas Positives nach.

Planen Sie den ultimativen Urlaub und konzentrieren Sie sich auf alles, was Sie tun möchten. Schreiben Sie alle fantastischen Orte auf, die Sie erkunden möchten, und halten Sie sie bereit, wenn Sie sich auf einen besseren Ort konzentrieren müssen.

Erstellen Sie ein Power Board mit Bildern von sich selbst und Ihren Lieben sowie inspirierenden Worten und Bildern.

Vergib dir selbst. Stimmt. Hören Sie auf, sich mit Dingen, die Sie nicht kontrollieren können, schwer zu tun, und gönnen Sie sich eine Pause.

Stoppen Sie mit Szenarien, die Sie haben sollten. Sie können die Vergangenheit nicht ändern, aber Sie können Ihren besten Fuß nach vorne bringen.

Gönnen Sie sich etwas, das Sie lieben, und erinnern Sie sich daran, warum es eines Ihrer Lieblingssachen ist.

Liebe dich selbst und übe Freundlichkeit.

Gib es auf, zu versuchen, perfekt zu sein und sei einfach du.

Denken Sie über Ihre Erfolge nach und erkennen Sie an, dass Sie ziemlich großartig sind.

Führen Sie etwas auf Ihrer To-Do-Liste aus.

Nimm ein Hobby auf.

Positiv positiv auschecken.

Denken Sie daran, dass es in Ordnung ist, "Nein" zu sagen, wenn Sie sich überfordert fühlen.

Fordern Sie sich heraus, etwas Neues auszuprobieren.

Bestätige deine Gefühle. Es ist ganz natürlich, sich unsicher zu fühlen, und zuzugeben, dass es mutig ist.

Bildquelle: POPSUGAR Photography / Matthew Barnes

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[bellatrixobsessed1]

A Flame For A Cabbage (Part 7)

“This is madness.” 

“Go back to your own universe.” Azula frowns. 

“You can’t just brainwash people into joining your side.” The woman insists. 

“I can and I am.” Azula frowns. “And my boyfriend is helping me do it.” 

“My fiance once helped me commit monstrous crimes against humanity, it doesn’t end well.” The woman argues, her fern green eyes burning into her. 

“There is nothing monstrous about cabbages. If anything, I am helping them achieve healthier diets.” Azula folds her arms over her chest. 

“You’re going about this the wrong way.” The woman says. 

“Fuck you and your eyebrows!” Azula declares. 

The woman narrows her eyes. “I’m trying to keep you from making a mistake. Brainwashing people is unethical.” 

“Brainwashing people is unethical.” Jet mocks in the background. 

“Don’t tell me what’s unethical!” Azula snaps. “You tried to murder your fiance with a spirit canon!” She does not know where from she has acquired this knowledge. 

“I didn’t try to murder my fiance. He asked me for nudes, I misread the text and sent nukes.” She pauses. “Honestly, I think it was kinda hot.” 

“Yeah, I suppose that is kind of sexy.” Azula agrees as Jet mutters something about how it is actually quite horrifying.

“Who are you?’ Azula asks.

“I’m you, but Earth Kingdom.”  The woman declares. 

“Fascinating.” Azula replies. It makes little sense being as this woman is older than she, but somehow, on an instinctual level that it is true. This woman...they are the same person. And if that is true, then she knows exactly how to get her to leave. “Your mother doesn’t love you.” A single tear slips down Azula’s cheek. But it is worth it, the woman shouts, “PROTEIN”, punches a hole through the wall with her foot, looks back, and gives Azula what has to be the most regal and well-mannered middle finger that she has ever seen. 

Yes. They definitely are, somehow, the same person.

Except Azula is the better her. Clearly, better. If nothing else, she has much better eyebrows than her swol, Earth Kingdom counterpart. 

With a final desperate look and another, “don’t do this, don’t make the same mistake I did…” the air around her closes in on her and sucks her back into whatever pocket in space that she had emerged from. 

“Yeah, fuck you, you better run!” Jet declares. 

“Jet, she got consumed by the universe.” Azula replies. “I got consumed by the universe.” She adds more softly. She turns back to her brainwashing equipment. If the man strapped to it wasn’t shitting bricks already, he certainly is now that he has witnessed that display. “Now. Where were we?” 

.oOo.

“Ooooor I can make onion and cranberry juice.” 

“Guru Pathik…” Aang grumbles. 

“How abo-ooo-ot…” He makes spazzical jazzhands. “...Onion and sulfuric acid juice!” 

.oOo.

“Thank goodness we're in time!” Sokka shouts.

“In time for what?” Kuei asks. 

Basco glowers at Sokka from the corner. “Nevermind…” boy says.”

TyLee pushes the matter with a, “Yeah. What are you in time for,” she wriggles her eyebrows. “cutie?”

“Uh, I'm kinda doing activites with Suki.” 

“Who?”  TyLee asks. 

“I don’t think that those guys are Kyoshi warriors.” Toph says. 

“How do you know have you ever seen Kyoshi warriors.” Mai asks.

“No but I can smell the emo on you. I know what the clank of Hot Topic jewelry sounds like. Kyoshi warriors don’t recruit emos or anyone who uses axe bodyspray. Trust me, I know. I use axe bodyspray.”

Mai flinches, for she thought that she was the only one emo enough to access the secret interdimensional Hot Topic store. She must eliminate the competition at once. With a flick of her wrist she launches a daggers at the girl. One of them is shaped like a Keanu Reeves, she resents that Toph will not be able to fully appreciate its beauty. 

TyLee decides that productivity is second priority and takes to dancing with Sokka she makes a few jabbing disco motions which Sokka imitates. “Oooh, it's like we're fighting each other!”

.oOo.

“Everyone, stop!” Jet calls. “Hammer time!” 

“What’s hammer time?” Sokka asks asks. 

“Quiet, or I’ll run the Earth King through.” Azula says. 

Sie clears his throat, “mam, that’s a cabbage.”

“Yes.” Azula nods. She finds it most effective to hold enemies at cabbage point. “I assure you all that you don’t want to know what damage I can do with a single cabbage.”

“Okay, but I’m supposed to be the one holding the Earth King hostage.” 

“You are holding the Earth King hostage.” Long Feng says. 

“Then who is this?” Azula asks. 

“Oh I’m just Quin Bohyuk Ching Shang the fourth. I am a hunter of anomalies.”  He pauses. “I am here for…” 

“I won’t let you hurt Basco!” Kuei declares from where Sie has him held at flame point. 

“You have no choice.” Sie declares. “This fight is over.”

Toph and Sokka drop their weapons and TyLee, being ever so cautious, chi blocks them. Momo, tries to fly but the Dailluminati are well aware that the creature is surprisingly and unapologetically jacked. He is also not allowed to be a Kyoshi warrior, for he too wears axe bodyspray. Knowing such, they encase him in stone. But Momo is not afraid, Momo can flex his way out of this if he has the desire. He hasn’t the desire though, he just wants some lychee berries. 

Having no more use for the Earth King, Sie shoves the king away. “Get them all out of my sight.”

“What. An. Asshole.” Azula mutters. “What kind of person does that?” She turns to Jet. “What kind of person holds an Earth King at flame point?” She asks as if she hadn’t fully intended on doing that herself. Jet does not point this out. Jet values his budding relationship with the socially inadequate cabbage merchant. 

Long Feng strides arrogantly into the room with some more Dailluminati agents in tow. “Now comes the part where I double cross you. Dailluminati, arrest the Fire Nation princess!” One of them steps forward, but this is only because he has tripped over Mai’s Keanu Reeves knife. “I said arrest him! What is wrong with you?!”

“It's because they haven't made up their minds.” Sie says. “They're waiting to see how this is going to end.” He casts a squeamish look at the cabbage merchant. He can see the malice in her eyes. She is plotting something. She is always plotting something. But what? 

“What are you talking about?” Long Feng asks. 

But he isn’t quite sure. The cabbage merchant is though. He can see it in that smug expression. He opens his mouth to speak but the merchant talks first. “I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with everything, so you never had to struggle, and connive, and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you work for.” Yes, indeed the divine right to rule is bestowed upon those who have earned it. The fire princess hasn’t earned it, not like she has. And Long Feng...well he definitely had the strugglys too she can see his whole history in his eyes (she in fact sees everyone’s histories in their eyes, she had once wanted to become a history teacher but she sacrificed that dream for greener cabbages) but he has not had to work as hard as she. And therefore he should not be blessed with the divine right to rule. “The fact is, they don't know which one of us is going to be sitting on that throne, and which one is going to be bowing down.” She adds.

Sie’s look of concern grows. “But I know, and you know.” She sits down on the throne and crosses her legs. “You have no idea who much these shoes hurt my feet.”  

Both Long Feng and Sie seem to deflate.

““Do I still get my ~*really cool~* prize?” Long Feng asks.

“I suppose.” Azula rolls her eyes. “I am, afterall, getting exactly what I want.” 

Long Feng squeals in delight and holds his hand out. 

“Jet.”

Jet steps forward. “Here you go.” He smiles. 

Long Feng unfolds the slip of paper. 

“Wh-what is this?” Long Feng asks. 

“It is dickbutt.” Azula replies. “I drew it myself.”

Long Feng deflates once more.  “You’ve beaten me at my own game.” he remarks as a single manly tear rolls down Sie’s cheek.

Azula smirks, “Don't flatter yourself! You were never even players.”  Her smile fades, for neither was she. 

Bosco grins in the corner. 

Azula swallows. 

They all swallow. 

Basco cackles.

[uneven-odds]

let´s get personal

Thank you @noonetosmilefor for asking me these <3 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?  -at the moment: Wildfire by SYML, Ouite miss home by James Arthur, You by James Arthur, Sad eyes by James Arthur, Bei dir by Kummer and Some you loved by Lewis Capaldi 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - James Arthur. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.  -” [...]glänzen, so als wollte sie den ganzen Raum, das ganze Haus umfassen.” 4: What do you think about most? - My future. 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?  “Are you 17.45 o clock in the [certain street name] again?” 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? -With clothes on. 7: What’s your strangest talent?-I don´t have one. 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) -Girls are awesome, Boys are awesome too. 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? -No. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? - ugh idk. 11: Do you have any strange phobias? - No. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - Yes. 13: What’s your religion? - Atheist. 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? - Going to a lecture. 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? - Walking on cars. 17: What was the last lie you told? - “I don´t have time.” 18: Do you believe in karma? - Yes. 19: What does your URL mean? - It´s the name of a song. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? -my greatest weakness is that I don´t trust people easily and I still have a hope even if it´s pointless. My greatest strength is that I´m a good listener and advice giver. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? - Tbh atm I don´t really have one.  22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - Nope. 23: How do you vent your anger? - I ramble to friends about what angers me. Sometimes I go for a walk and often I listen to loud music. 24: Do you have a collection of anything? - Yes of notebooks and candles.  25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - video chatting online. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? - Not really. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? - Sound I hate: scratching noises, sound I love: Rain and James Arthurs voice. 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? - what if, i did a certain thing/ or said a certain thing. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Yes to both. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - right arm: pillow. left arm: hoodie. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? - cocos. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? -Anklam. 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? - east coast. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? - James Arthur (in some way). 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? - being happy and pleased with my life. 36: Define Art. - art is what other people do with love.  37: Do you believe in luck? - hahahaha no. 38: What’s the weather like right now? - cold af.  39: What time is it? - 17.48 o clock. 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? - More like I can drive and no. 41: What was the last book you read? - Fische die auf Bäume klettern by Sebastian Fitzek. 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? - Yes. 43: Do you have any nicknames? - Yes a few.  44: What was the last film you saw? - Das perfekte Geheimnis. 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? - I broke my left  wrist two times. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? - Yes. 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? - Yeah, I´m obsessed with Good Omens and James Arthurs new album. 48: What’s your sexual orientation? - I don´t really know. I´m trying to figure that one out.  49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? - Yes. 50: Do you believe in magic? - Yes. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? - Yeah sometimes. 52: What is your astrological sign? - Capricorn. 53: Do you save money or spend it? - Spend it.. 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? - Wine. 55: Love or lust? - Lust.. 56: In a relationship? - Nope. 57: How many relationships have you had? - 3. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - nope. 59: Where were you yesterday? - at my grandparents. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? - Yes a box and a flower. 61: Are you wearing socks right now? - No. 62: What’s your favourite animal? - Cat. 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? - People like me? 64: Where is your best friend? - At home studying. 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. - @noonetosmilefor  @thecaptain-posts @crispsevans @speak-fluent-sarcasm  66: What is your heritage? - german. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? -reading fanfiction. 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? - *insert my last name*. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? - Yes. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? - Oh hell no. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? - save the dog. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? - yes, my loved ones, idk going to norway I think and yes.  73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. - Trust. 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? -  75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? - 9296. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? - trust, honesty and humor 77: How can I win your heart? - by buying me coffee and making me laugh 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? - Yes 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? - Being honest with myself 80: What size shoes do you wear? - 39. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? - pss she is asleep 82: What is your favourite word? - dream. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. - Love. 84: What is a saying you say a lot?- Well you can always try again. 85: What’s the last song you listened to? - From me to you I hate everybody by James Arthur 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? - blue. 87: What is your current desktop picture? - I don´t have one rn hahaha. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? - Trump. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - how are you really feeling? 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? - trying to get out of the house. 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? - telekinesis. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? - playing cards with my grandparents. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? -that one moment I´m trying to forget. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? -probably James Arthur. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? - Norway 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? - I don´t think so. 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? -No. 98: Ever been on a plane? - Yes. 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? - Thanks.

[isitandwonder]

A while ago there was an interview going round with Luca and Armie, published in the German Vogue in January 2017. I finally got hold of a copy and translated it into English.

@foryou-insilence - it’s on it’s way to you!

Just a few remarks:

I’m not a translator, so this is just what I made of it. I tried to give a choice of words when the meaning could have different nuances. If you have any questions, just ask. If anyone has better ideas how to phrase or translate it, pelase, have at it.

I think the interview was conducted in English, then translated into German, and now I translated it back into English. Something might have been lost along the way.

It seems a bit jumpy in topics, so I think it was initially longer or they omitted the questions asked by the interviewer.

They use the informal you (Du) in the German text instead of the more formal address (Sie), indicating a relationship of equals. I also got the feeling that it was done during filming, because they both often use present tense when talking about CMBYN.

If anyone wants a scan just send me a PM and provide an email address.

Completed! [Could also mean 'hyphy']

Director Luca Guadagnino and actor Armie Hammer talk the power of sensuality, ugly beauty and sex in front of the camera

The Italian director Luca Guadagnino is a master of the emotional intimate drama like I Am Love (with Tilda Swinton) and A Bigger Splash (with Ralph Fiennes) which unsettle and enthrall through their intensity. Armie Hammer distinguished himself through his multilayered interpretation of discrete parts/roles, not least his dual role as the Winklevoss-twins in The Social Network. Now, Luca Guadagnino earmarked for him the part of Oliver in his film based on Andrè Aciman's novel Call Me By Your Name (Berlinale 2017), a young American drawn into an amour fou.

For this Vogue talk, both met in the Palazzo Albergoni in Lombardy, a century-old villa, that is, in the movie, inhabited by an American Professor, his Italian wife and their 17-year-old son Elio. Oliver is a guest at their house, and like him, Armie Hammer was transformed by his Italian experience.

AH: We already talked about that the mood of the film is relaxed and at ease. Thanks to you [in the translation, the informal 'you' is used], this is also true  beyond the camera. And that even despite the difficult circumstances, the rainy weather, for example.

LG: This happens without me thinking about it. I like having guests. And this film is about someone who is a guest, a visitor. Many aspects of human relationships can't be controlled, but some stuff can be defused/disarmed. Filming is a hectic process/action full of conflict, related to personal discomfiture/unease. Filming A Bigger Splash was all about that. This time I wanted to avoid such tension. But there's always inner tension, that mounts through shooting and is connected to the content of the film. I try to channel the intensity within my staff into the story. Especially the cultural  differences between Italian, French and Americans gad to be channeled.

AH: Your movies are always set in Italy, despite their international cast?

LG: It is easier to organize. To tell the truth, I hope this will be the last film for a long time that I shot in Italy. By the way, I wanted to work with you for a long time, and Call Me By Your Name was the right moment to ask you. The international cast wasn't a conscious decision/consideration, it just happened naturally. As a European director I wouldn't cast Americans if it wasn't for the benefit of the story.

AH: I love the filming experience and the life in Crema, where we live. It's the most picturesque little town I can imagine. No one speaks English. That's absolutely new for me as an American, who usually gets through with it [English] everywhere. I immerse myself 24 hours a day into this other world. It's a somewhat analogue experience. My smartphone is usually switched off, mostly because of the time difference. This isolation makes it easier to concentrate on the project. I have the feeling to have ended up in another universe.

LG: Seriously? You don't know this kind of film-making?

AH: Absolutely not. I've never worked with a director with whom i felt clicking from the get go. I just walked into a world where everything is lovable/amiable, the colleagues, you, this villa.

LG: But isn't it always like this? Now you got me interested.

AH: You give me the feeling of being an equal. Here's no hierarchy, the director isn't some kind of god on top [of a mountain] and I, as an actor, stand beneath him, even beneath the author and producer and so on.

LG: So that's how it usually is?

AH: Yes, especially with projects with gigantic budgets made by large studios. With those, you are just an actor who has to fit a casting mold.

LG: As a director, I always feel like a young school child with yet many years before graduating. I still have to learn and research a lot. I don't just want to gain a notion/concept of the fictive characters, but from the actors as well. This stance might spring from films made in the post-war era and exploded in the 1970s. Directors like Scorsese or Coppola blurred the lines between actors, characters and plot. I ask myself how I can do a bigger movie with this attitude/mindset, an action movie for example that I like to do next.

AH: Like French Connection?

LG: Absolutely. As a viewer, one gets completely pulled into the life of the policemen, played by Gene Hackman and Roy Schneider. You sense the risk they and the director have taken. The film is a phenomenal adrenaline rush Something like that is enormously inspiring. I'm not interested in fiction, I hate the artificial, the construed, polished. I want to discover something while filming, I want to, how do you say it...?

AH: You want to be a midwife?

LG: Exactly. I'm a midwife. And my new interpretation of Suspiria will get equally personal as Call Me By Your Name. I always felt that I wanted to do this film again. I want to acknowledge the feelings it evoked in me when I was ten. I hope it will shock the audience.

AH: That is an interesting approach to make a film, to let the audience feel what you once felt.

LG: Just like I hope I can convince the audience with our film that it doesn't matter with whom you fall in love.

AH: That you can fall in love with everyone?

LG: I love the impossible and despise the possible/feasible. When I sense that something impossible is about to become real, I get enthusiastic.

AH: The novel by Andrè Aciman that inspired our film is a challenge as well. It is told from a very special perspective. You are totally in Elio's head. You hear his doubts and see the scenes like he paints them. But the film is more the study of two human being who overcome all conceivable obstacles and fears.

LG: A face can tell a lot about what's going on inside [one's head]. And when you have fantastic actors, they create an emotional world that becomes tangible while watching them.

AH: Usually, I do months of research before I start filming and read everything I can get my fingers on. But the information I need for Oliver can't be drawn from Aciman's novel. Instead, I tried to find out what it meant to grow up during the 70s and 80s. And I tried to acquaint myself with the Jewish identity, which is important for my role. But particularly did I try to understand the atmosphere/mood of the film. My character is curious, sensual/sensible and open for everything that  he comes across. It doesn't matter if it's a glass of peach juice, Elio or young Chiara. He moves differently in the world than I do. To understand that was a big part of my preparation.

LG: The film doesn't portray Oliver like Monica Belluci was enacted in Maléna by Guiseppe Tornatore – as a beautiful woman to stare at. That he's a handsome man was but an ironic detail for me. All characters are beautiful, but not because of their outward appearance but because we are allowed to look into their heart and soul. What is important is the emotional journey/process Elio embarks on, and which we can experience through his looks. How does he act on his infatuation/crush? Does he create something deeper/more profound out of it?

AH: I recognized that in the whole movie there isn't one single beauty shot, which is all about the most attractive angle in flattering sunlight, to draw attention to a face. Nonetheless, every angle is gorgeous, in all your films. They are always careful yet cunning/subtle.

LG: I'm interested in sensuality, not beauty. If I hear the word beauty I take up arms. For me, it's about how humans surrender to sensuality. In the end, you can't say no to an erotic challenge. Another impossibility I constantly think about.

AH: Water is a sensual element in this movie.

LG: And I can't even swim. When I set foot into water I drown. I hate the ocean/sea, I hate the heat, I hate the humidity, I hate the people surrounding me, I don't want to present myself naked in front of them. Even Pantelleria [an Italian island] disgusted me during filming A Bigger Splash.

AH: That's kinda funny: we filmed some/huge parts of this film in the water and you hate it!

LG: It's about its meaning in the movie, like the sex scenes. They are meaningless as well if they are not some sort of dialogue between two people.

AH: Believe it or not, I had my first nude/sex scene in Call Me By Your Name!

LG: What? You didn't do this before?

AH: No! But you and the crew just handled it like it wasn't something special, just like every other scene. And as soon as it says 'Cut!' you come up like out of a fog: there's the boom operator, the camera man, just doing their job.  I wished I could bottle feelings, the feelings before and after a scene. I would need weeks to understand and explain the difference. Anyway, it doesn't feel like something special/particular for me as well by now.

LG: You did it totally emotionally believable/true. It was fantastic. Actors are in a very fragile place.

AH: We are very exposed, not only because the whole crew is there.

LG: The actor grants the director a huge credit of trust/takes a leap of faith. And then the film is released into an unknown world.

AH: But that's exactly why I became an actor.

LG: And when do you turn into a director?

AH: I certainly will never write my own script. I lack the concentration to devote myself to it for months on end. But I'd madly love to direct. But when I see how effortless and fluent this process is for someone like you, I think I'll never be able to do that.

LG: What does it mean, in your opinion, to be a director? You already worked with the best.

AH: I think it's about to reconcile everyone and always keep track of everything. I have no idea what goes on inside a director, it all happens out of view. And it's so fast that I fear to interfere/impede everything when I ask a question. But there are other directors who work differently, who think out loud prior to every scene, where the camera should be placed.

LG: Do you prefer that?

AH: Of course. No one's so close to the camera as the actor. And if the director walks over and talks to the camera man, I listen closely. I always knew I wanted to work in movies, in whatever job. As a kid I went to the cinema every weekend and watched everything on the bill. I had no idea what a director or producer does, and so actor was the obvious choice.

LG: Directing means to be an outsider. You have to man up for a job that's deep and dark.

AH: Why? What is the reason for this alienation?

LG: Today I thought about what I like. When I grew up, I loved directors who's movies were strong, uncompromising and hard to bear. Those films were inherently unsuccessful but later became legends: Stanley Kubrik, for example, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Michael Powell, Federico Fellini. I can't make a Hollywood movie under these conditions, you are dead before you get a second chance. Therefore: I like directors who do what they want and address my desires. It is frightening, but I as well always get what I want. I was in love with Ralph Fiennes, his pictures hung in my room. And then he worked with me in A Bigger Splash. It is important to get what you really want. I truly have to own and desire the actors who work on my movies.

AH: Was that the case with me as well?

LG: When I saw The Social Network: yes, the film is brilliant, the script is great, Jesse Eisenberg is a fantastic Mark Zuckerberg – but who the fuck are the Winklevoss twins? There was something in you that I wanted to bring out in front of a camera.

AH: And we did it.

LG: My next goal is to find/expose your dark side. As an actor, are you seduced or a seducer? I always hear that actors are seductive. But as a directorI have to say that they also get seduced and sometimes even betrayed.

AH: Those who are not involved in the process of film-making romaticize the existence of actors. It would be wonderful if I was mobbed with scripts. But the truth is, there are so very few fine directors and great scripts that everybody wants the part as soon as it hits the market. In this fight for the one chance I feel like a prize boxer. Sure, there are colleagues who automatically receive fantastic offers...

LG:... but you don't want that, not really.

AH: True, but you seduced me and it was 100% worth it. Filming with you left a huge impression in my personal and professional life.

LG: It is irrelevant how many films you do a year as an actor. The only important thing is to give an emotional iconic performance. Which you did. That's how film history works. That's how I see it, and I'm a film historian.

AH: You know more about film than anyone else. And that's why you do such nice/lovely movies. But you cast such an interesting/interested glance on many things, on everything, whatever it is. Your reasoning is always cultivated, thought through.

LG: The practical problems in film making are so overwhelming, you have to work with each shot and then with the sum of it.

AH: I worked with directors who decided 'the trees have to stand differently'.

LG: It is crazy. That's how I wanted it when I was 17. You film in a garden that gets arranged to your will. But that's not how it works.

AH: I also know other directors who just let things happen, like midwives.

LG: There we come back to the masters of the craft. They didn't close the door to reality, like Jean Renoir once said.

[bertievi]

SS-GB Drabble 4 - Though wise men at their end know dark is right

The hours were merciless in the darkness and loneliness of the tower. One could never be too sure what time it was nor even what day it was without the markers of Big Ben or the Sunday call to mass from the abbey. Albert had taken to praying often, for the safety of his country and people, for the strength to keep fighting in what ways he could and for his family. Though he largely felt forgotten for the lack of visits from anyone not in a German uniform he managed to convince himself that it was more because they had not yet found the loop holes to remove him from power just yet. What time was not spent praying, Albert had been working on freeing that nail under the bed, it was rather stiff but the incessant wiggling was slowly causing it to lose its grip, after a month it was half way out and was much longer than the king thought it had been.

As the weeks ticked on Albert was beginning to reluctantly look forward to the guards checking up on him and bringing him food just for the glimpse of some company. What small routine he could have he had accepted, every fortnight Edgar would arrive on a Monday with bills to be read and signed for Wednesday, though Albert knew they were really meant for Monday. This meant that his most challenging days would be every other Tuesday when Edgar returned to collect the unsigned bills. One guard, Horst, who brought him his small lunches on Thursdays had found a way to sneak him a lit cigarette and two biscuits tucked under the rim of his plate, though he was often escorted with another who would wait at the door, Albert could only ever offer the man a smile in thanks. It was a small gesture but for the countless hours spent in isolation it was an important one. Fridays saw the arrival of a stern man who enjoyed bringing Albert’s food to the cell door and leaving it outside the bars just out of reach, for him to struggle to pick at. On Saturdays there was a younger guard with a uniform that was a fraction too large for him, and Albert wiled away the hours making up reasons for that small detail, perhaps it was his brother’s uniform or he had lied about his measurements to seem bigger. Small things meant to pass the time.

It was a Tuesday evening that found Albert stood by the small window, a file tilted towards the light to read its contents. The title had struck him as odd ‘Restoration of the Professional Civil Service’. His civil servants were in no need of ‘restoration’ there had been no abolishment or degrading even as the occupation began, regardless in some morbid curiosity he couldn’t help but read on, the conditions of the bill seemed nonsensical, that only those with blonde hair and blue eyes would be allowed to work in the police force, regardless if they were German or British, all those employed that did not fit that small criteria would be forced into retirement. Mentions of other civil services having the same rule coming into effect shortly afterwards and enforced by the ‘restored’ police took up several pages. The bill went on to explain how this would be done, the budget, numbers involved, and the names needed to begin the law. The pages at the back which usually held the names of ministers that supported the bill was blank, he suspected he knew why, it likely had not been presented to Parliament.

It did not escape his notice that it was truly him that had the power in that bill, even if his government put it through wholeheartedly, being part of the civil service meant working for the crown and that meant that ultimately, it was in Albert’s unquestioned hands what happened, the bill he held should he sign it, didn’t even need to pass through Parliament as it would by comparison be like a company boss changing a company rule and had nothing to do with the government. The condition seemed so bizarre to him, he could not work out if it was some sort of test but for what he couldn’t fathom. He put the bill back on the pile, the abdication document still sat at the bottom as it seemed to be each time Edgar arrived, he had given up explaining to him what was needed to mark his abdication as official, maybe it was better not telling him.

As the sun began to set, Albert stayed by the window to relish that last bit of sunlight before the door to the stairs opened and he heard footsteps marching up and the door to the room opening and closing with a click. He didn’t even need to turn and look to know who it was that had entered, the achingly merry voice greeting him “Good evening, Eure Majestät!” There was a faint rustle of fabric as he bowed and then the clicking of a key in the lock as the door to his cell was opened without second thought.

“Evening, Edgar.” Albert gave back bitterly but turned to face him as the door creaked loudly on its hinges. Edgar went straight for the documents as he always did and flicked them open to the pages that were supposed to bare George’s signature. Each one he checked individually as if he couldn’t have guessed that Albert had not signed a single one. Edgar seemed to only be using his left hand while his right remained at his side, hidden from Albert. It had taken him a moment to notice but the restoration of the civil service bill had been left closed on the bed, shifted aside to check the others as the abdication folder was opened. “I am not sure if you are forgetting what it is I am telling you to do when I leave these with you or if you are purposefully being difficult.” Edgar huffed though Albert sensed it was not out of genuine disappointment or anger as it usually seemed to be. Oh how he hated that man. Sensing there was going to be trouble, Albert moved to keep himself away from the wall and the corner, so he could not be trapped, it was a steady movement and Edgar seemed to be mindful of where he was moving to.

“No indeed. I –remember what it is you –ask of me –to do, I -find myself –quite frequently inclined to -ignore it. However, I do read through them, your –typist will be -glad to understand that her –time is not –completely wasted.” He half quipped while he kept his eyes on him, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Edgar only turned to him and smiled, his right hand now behind his back and his left loose at his side while he considered the king for a moment then picked up the civil service bill, still closed.

“Then you will have noticed that this bill is unique from the others.” He said, Albert noticing the smallest of bounces on his heels as if he was excited. “I do so hope you had the sense to sign this one.” He flipped the folder open with a jolt of his left hand and looked to the front where the signature should have been.

“Have you -read it yourself, Edgar?” It was even curiosity if the man understood what the bill suggested. “If my --signature was on that document, you may be out of a --job.” His black hair and dark brown eyes suggestion enough that he did not fit the criteria.

“I have read it, Eure Majestät. However, I would not be out of a job, I am sure you are glad to hear, your conscience will be clear around the concerns of my profession.” He smiled that awful grin and offered the folder out to Albert again. “I must insist that you sign this one, you are the only person in its way and I would like to remind you of what it is that I told you when we met for the first time. You are a prisoner here and alive only at our mercy.”

“Or your –convenience.” Albert interrupted with a raised brow, he was a key to getting bills to fly through Parliament in the UK and abroad if they had found a way to bypass the monarch he surely would have been dead by now. He heard the rub of leather behind Edgar’s back as he balled his gloved hand into a fist. The grin morphed into more of a sly smirk, which was not what Albert had been expecting, but he was guessing Edgar might try a punch as he had done before and was mindful to stay out of arms reach.

“You are telling me that you will not be signing this document?” Edgar asked as if it was not clear enough, waving the open folder in front of Albert as if to entice him. Albert was sure he would be ready this time, that whatever it was Edgar might try he could fend off, of course he could twig that the other man was likely holding something behind his back by now, if he was fast enough he might be able to defend himself.

So it was with some confidence mustered mainly from his dislike of Edgar, that Albert gave his answer quite surely. “I will –not be signing that –document.” He confirmed and studied Edgar while he sighed and put the document down on the bed again, open. Albert shifted his weight when Edgar’s left hand went into his breast pocket and pulled out a pen to set in the crease of the folder, the smile on his face apparently too wide to hide as he muttered:

“Ich bin so froh, dass Sie das gesagt.” Evidently to himself, Albert drew in a settling breath and watched for what the man might do next. Edgar straightened up properly and gestured to the bill. “When you change your mind, it is ready for you to sign.”

Without a beat to spare, Edgar pulled a police truncheon from behind his back and raised it above his head to strike down on Albert, though the king was prepared this time and managed to catch Edgar’s offending wrist. Remembering what training he had during the first war, Albert brought his free hand around to punch at Edgar’s lower ribs. Something he clearly had not been expecting when he creased in a gasp of complaint. Albert went straight for a second punch, knowing another blow would fracture or even break Edgar’s lower ribs, he made impact and felt the unmistakable crunch of bone. His own knuckles burning from the hit, the king turned his attention to the weapon still above their heads. As he reached up, Edgar seemed to take his wheezing moment in hand and returned the punch, this time to Albert’s collar bone. The pain seared through his shoulders and the arm that had been reaching for the truncheon fell back down as bones complained. It was apparently all that was needed before Edgar kicked at Albert’s shin and used his unbalanced weight to push him to the floor. He had just moments to turn and raise his hands as the truncheon came down, managing to stop it hitting his chest by sacrificing his right forearm to a painful bash. Albert grabbed at Edgar’s wrists again and used his hold to kick up at him, just in pure luck getting a strike to the other’s chin with a loud clack of teeth and a gritted scream from Edgar. It was enough to cause him to back off against the bars of the cell and run his hand over his chin where Albert had kicked him. A brief respite for Albert too as he pulled himself back onto his feet, feeling that his shoulder and arm would be bruised but little more.

Edgar seemed to look around at the closed door to the room, likely in wander why there was no help coming. That was the issue of approaching him alone with the intent to hurt him, no one would distinguish who the pained gasps belonged to. Unless he was going to shout in German, then no one would be coming in. Edgar’s lips parted to a snarl, his teeth covered in blood likely from his own tongue. Perhaps the odds were in his favour and Albert hatched a makeshift plan as he glanced to Edgar’s belt to see if the man carried a gun. He could make out a holster in the gloom and that was all he needed as motivation.

Albert lunged at Edgar, a hand going for his throat to push him against the bars and try to hold him there while his other hand went for the holstered gun. It left him painfully defenceless while Edgar half chocked on the near enough throat punch. That truncheon came around hard onto Albert’s shoulder, he yelled in pain but what sense he had quickly turned to rage as his other hand, numb from the hit to his shoulder found its way to wrap around Edgar’s neck too, using the bars to push him higher so he struggled to stand.

“Hier!” The man gasped desperately as he swung the truncheon around with one hand and the other went to claw at Albert’s wrists desperately. As he struggled with air, Albert did not seem to be letting up his hold and with fear in his eyes, Edgar began banging the truncheon against the bars loudly and inconsistently while his muscles weakened.

Moments later, the door burst open and several guardsmen ran in and through to the cell to pull Albert off of Edgar. The latter drawing in a large breath and covering his bruised neck, still clutching the truncheon as he bent against the bars with one of his own tending to him. Albert in the meantime was wrestled to the floor and pinned there by the young looking guard and the one that liked to leave his food just out of reach. Albert didn’t struggle against them as he drew in breaths for the rush of adrenaline that had come from that fight and the rage that followed. He had nearly killed Edgar and part of him wished he had succeeded. Horst who was stood by Edgar and trying to check on him looked to Albert with some concern before Edgar used his arm to swing the other man out of his line of view.

“Ihn noch halten!” Edgar ordered with a voice practically broken for the red and blue marks around his throat, he spat the blood from his mouth and pointed the truncheon at Albert viciously. “Ich werde ihn zum Tod zu schlagen.” He wiped a sleeve across his mouth and rubbed again at his neck before he stumbled forwards, growling in pain for his fractured ribs until he was leaning over Albert and brought the truncheon up to bring down on his stomach, hard. The king gasped and tried to roll for the burning that forced its way up his chest, his legs kicking out as Edgar brought down another strike to the same place. The arms pinning his shoulders to the floor remained rigid as Edgar started to work his hits up onto Albert’s ribs, laughing in delight when one cracked and mocking the king’s pained and breathless yells. The truncheon seemed relentless in its strikes, Albert lost all sense of what was going on and it took Edgar being suddenly pulled away from him and his shoulders released for him to understand that something had changed.

He didn’t bother to look and see, taking his freedom to curl onto his side and try to shield his screaming ribs, feeling hot vomit rising from his hurt stomach while there were indistinct shouts and shuffling near the bars. Whatever was going on, Albert couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything but the pain in his lower ribs and stomach, sure that a few bones were broken as he lightly ran his fingers over them. The relief was short lived before he felt the smack of the blasted truncheon against his upper ribs, that one causing a spasm that snatched him of a heart beat he was sure of it.

“Sign it!” Demanded a breathless Edgar as he threw the paper and pen down at Albert, pausing just a moment before bringing the weapon down on his ribs again as Albert gasped for air and kicked out for the convulsion it sent through him a second time, even shivering for the shock delivered for each strike as Edgar yelled “Sign it! Sign it! Sign it! Sign it!” Each punctuated with another hit before Albert had to cough out the blood that had pooled in his mouth. He grasped for the pen and pulled the paper towards him, dragging it through his own blood while every bone and muscle in his body seemed to cry out for him to be still. He lifted his head, caught a blurred glimpse of the title and put his signature on the page, defeated.

He felt the hot breath above him as Edgar kneeled behind him and leaned on his shoulder to see the signature, breathless as he sighed out “Sehr gut.” A gloved hand reached over him to pick out the document and another was used to push off Albert’s sore ribs to get Edgar to his feet. Without another word, Albert listened to multiple feet walk from his cell and out of the room. He knew he couldn’t be alone, the cell door had not been closed. Horst stepped into his blurred view and looked him over, out of his reach.

“It was just a document saying police had to be blonde and blue eyed, they do not necessarily have to be German. You cannot refuse everything he brings you, he and so many others will kill you. You are going to have to make some sacrifices, you have to stay alive to make a difference and the only way of doing that is letting them get a win every now and again.” Horst was apparently trying to reason with the beaten king curled on the floor and had Albert not been so breathless and sure his insides might burst if he moved, he might have had something to say to that. “You are no good to your people dead…” Albert spat out another mouthful of blood and shivered in pain on the cold floor, his hatred for that uniform growing more for his inability to actually move or speak up in that moment, despite Horst’s attempts. “I will bring a doctor for you.”

With that, Albert heard the cell door closing and the final footsteps heading down the stairs. All of them were vermin! He could not trust any of them and he could not stay in the Tower. No one was coming to help him, he would have to make his own means of escape. Slowly, he uncurled his arms from his chest, squeaking quietly for the shooting pain it caused with every stretch of muscle before he settled them on the floor and tried in vain to stop shivering before he felt all the energy drain from him as the light faded and he passed out.

[electricbirdmusic]

We call BS!

Emma Gonzalez ist Schülerin an der Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Am vergangenen Mittwoch, dem 14. Februar 2018, fand dort ein Amoklauf eines 19-jährigen ehemaligen Schülers statt, bei dem vierzehn Jugendliche und drei Erwachsene starben.  Bei einer Anti-Waffen-Demonstration in Fort Lauderdale hat sie nun eine fulminante und leidenschaftliche Rede gehalten - gegen die National Rifle Association NRA, gegen die Politiker, die behaupten, ein Auto sei genauso gefährlich wie ein Gewehr, gegen US-Präsident Donald Trump.

Dies ist ihre Rede im Wortlaut:

We haven't already had a moment of silence in the House of Representatives, so I would like to have another one. Thank you.

Every single person up here today, all these people should be home grieving. But instead we are up here standing together because if all our government and President can do is send thoughts and prayers, then it's time for victims to be the change that we need to see. Since the time of the Founding Fathers and since they added the Second Amendment to the Constitution, our guns have developed at a rate that leaves me dizzy. The guns have changed but our laws have not.

We certainly do not understand why it should be harder to make plans with friends on weekends than to buy an automatic or semi-automatic weapon. In Florida, to buy a gun you do not need a permit, you do not need a gun license, and once you buy it you do not need to register it. You do not need a permit to carry a concealed rifle or shotgun. You can buy as many guns as you want at one time.

I read something very powerful to me today. It was from the point of view of a teacher. And I quote: When adults tell me I have the right to own a gun, all I can hear is my right to own a gun outweighs your student's right to live. All I hear is mine, mine, mine, mine.

Instead of worrying about our AP Gov chapter 16 test, we have to be studying our notes to make sure that our arguments based on politics and political history are watertight. The students at this school have been having debates on guns for what feels like our entire lives. AP Gov had about three debates this year. Some discussions on the subject even occurred during the shooting while students were hiding in the closets. The people involved right now, those who were there, those posting, those tweeting, those doing interviews and talking to people, are being listened to for what feels like the very first time on this topic that has come up over 1,000 times in the past four years alone.

I found out today there's a website shootingtracker.com. Nothing in the title suggests that it is exclusively tracking the USA's shootings and yet does it need to address that? Because Australia had one mass shooting in 1999 in Port Arthur (and after the) massacre introduced gun safety, and it hasn't had one since. Japan has never had a mass shooting. Canada has had three and the UK had one and they both introduced gun control and yet here we are, with websites dedicated to reporting these tragedies so that they can be formulated into statistics for your convenience.

I watched an interview this morning and noticed that one of the questions was, do you think your children will have to go through other school shooter drills? And our response is that our neighbors will not have to go through other school shooter drills. When we've had our say with the government -- and maybe the adults have gotten used to saying 'it is what it is,' but if us students have learned anything, it's that if you don't study, you will fail. And in this case if you actively do nothing, people continually end up dead, so it's time to start doing something.

We are going to be the kids you read about in textbooks. Not because we're going to be another statistic about mass shooting in America, but because, just as David said, we are going to be the last mass shooting. Just like Tinker v. Des Moines, we are going to change the law. That's going to be Marjory Stoneman Douglas in that textbook and it's going to be due to the tireless effort of the school board, the faculty members, the family members and most of all the students. The students who are dead, the students still in the hospital, the student now suffering PTSD, the students who had panic attacks during the vigil because the helicopters would not leave us alone, hovering over the school for 24 hours a day.

There is one tweet I would like to call attention to. So many signs that the Florida shooter was mentally disturbed, even expelled for bad and erratic behavior. Neighbors and classmates knew he was a big problem. Must always report such instances to authorities again and again. We did, time and time again. Since he was in middle school, it was no surprise to anyone who knew him to hear that he was the shooter. Those talking about how we should have not ostracized him, you didn't know this kid. OK, we did. We know that they are claiming mental health issues, and I am not a psychologist, but we need to pay attention to the fact that this was not just a mental health issue. He would not have harmed that many students with a knife.

And how about we stop blaming the victims for something that was the student's fault, the fault of the people who let him buy the guns in the first place, those at the gun shows, the people who encouraged him to buy accessories for his guns to make them fully automatic, the people who didn't take them away from him when they knew he expressed homicidal tendencies, and I am not talking about the FBI. I'm talking about the people he lived with. I'm talking about the neighbors who saw him outside holding guns.

If the President wants to come up to me and tell me to my face that it was a terrible tragedy and how it should never have happened and maintain telling us how nothing is going to be done about it, I'm going to happily ask him how much money he received from the National Rifle Association.

You want to know something? It doesn't matter, because I already know. Thirty million dollars. And divided by the number of gunshot victims in the United States in the one and one-half months in 2018 alone, that comes out to being $5,800. Is that how much these people are worth to you, Trump? If you don't do anything to prevent this from continuing to occur, that number of gunshot victims will go up and the number that they are worth will go down. And we will be worthless to you.

To every politician who is taking donations from the NRA, shame on you. If your money was as threatened as us, would your first thought be, how is this going to reflect on my campaign? Which should I choose? Or would you choose us, and if you answered us, will you act like it for once? You know what would be a good way to act like it? I have an example of how to not act like it. In February of 2017, one year ago, President Trump repealed an Obama-era regulation that would have made it easier to block the sale of firearms to people with certain mental illnesses.

From the interactions that I had with the shooter before the shooting and from the information that I currently know about him, I don't really know if he was mentally ill. I wrote this before I heard what Delaney said. Delaney said he was diagnosed. I don't need a psychologist and I don't need to be a psychologist to know that repealing that regulation was a really dumb idea.

Republican Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa was the sole sponsor on this bill that stops the FBI from performing background checks on people adjudicated to be mentally ill and now he's stating for the record, 'Well, it's a shame the FBI isn't doing background checks on these mentally ill people.' Well, duh. You took that opportunity away last year.

The people in the government who were voted into power are lying to us. And us kids seem to be the only ones who notice and our parents to call BS.Companies trying to make caricatures of the teenagers these days, saying that all we are self-involved and trend-obsessed and they hush us into submission when our message doesn't reach the ears of the nation, we are prepared to call BS. Politicians who sit in their gilded House and Senate seats funded by the NRA telling us nothing could have been done to prevent this, we call BS. They say tougher guns laws do not decrease gun violence. We call BS. They say a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun. We call BS. They say guns are just tools like knives and are as dangerous as cars. We call BS. They say no laws could have prevented the hundreds of senseless tragedies that have occurred. We call BS. That us kids don't know what we're talking about, that we're too young to understand how the government works. We call BS.

If you agree, register to vote. Contact your local congresspeople. Give them a piece of your mind