#sighs. replaying this game has brought back so so many memories

[translaytonblr]

so are we gonna skip over the fact that diane makepeace was regularly in brownface for half a year or what

[kevindayisafrog]

What if Neil never made it home? (Kevneil pain)

TW - physical abuse (choking), panic attacks, hints of suicidal thoughts, grief and loss of a MC, anxiety

“Where is he?”, Andrew’s monotone voice chilled Kevin all over, making his already rapid heart beat faster. “I-I don’t-“, Kevin put his head in his hands and let out a shaky breath. He didn’t know where Neil was and he was dreading the worst. He was holding his hand just minutes ago but the fight broke out and..Kevin let out a strangled sound and squeezed his eyes shut. “Andrew-“, Nicky’s fear made him look up in time to see Andrew marching towards him up the aisle of the bus. “Andrew, I promise I don’t know where he is”, Kevin pleaded as Andrew ran into him and grabbed his throat, “Andrew, please, I don’t-“. He let out a choked whimper as Andrew’s hands grew tighter around his neck. A million tortured moments of Riko flashed behind his shut eyes making Kevin want to disappear; run away from this place to find his Neil. “Andrew”, he tried to whisper, the name barely coming out. “Where the fuck is he?”, Andrew’s voice barely changed, his deadpan face still remaining; boring into Kevin’s memory. “His father-the butcher-“, he knew Neil would hate him for telling everyone his past, but if it would get Andrew off him, he’ll try anything. As soon as Andrew lets go he can run; he’d run faster than he ever has, until his legs break beneath him. He won’t care about the pain, he’s lived through pain his whole life, what’s a bit more? If it helps him get Neil back he’ll walk through fire, he’ll go back to the nest, he’ll kiss Riko’s feet and smile as he slowly dies. “Baltimore-the butcher of Baltimore”, Kevin closed his eyes and let a tear fall out. Who cares if the foxes see him cry? He doesn’t give a shit. They mean nothing to him. “Andrew get off him”, Matt looked between the two and wrapped his arms around Andrew’s waist, pulling to no avail, “fuck”. Kevin looked up into Andrew’s empty eyes through his blurring vision and prepared for the pain he’ll get before whispering: “please, Andrew, I can’t lose him”. Andrew’s hands grew tighter than before, making Kevin let out a laugh fueled on pain and fear. He looked over Andrew’s shoulder fleetingly as Matt, Aaron, Nicky and Coach finally pulled Andrew off; his throat bursting with a numb pain. “Kevin, sweetheart”, Abby kneeled beside him and pulled his head gently onto her lap, “if you know about Neil’s past we need you to tell us now. It’s important”. Kevin closed his eyes and swallowed through the burn in his throat, silently apologizing to Neil for his truth. “His father..is the butcher of Baltimore. He just got out-“, he pressed a hand against his mottled throat and swallowed the taste of blood, “out of prison. We need to save him”. Nicky let out an inhaled ‘fuck’ as Matt got ready to hit Kevin. “For fuck’s sake, Kevin, why didn’t you tell us before? Is that why he was scared of his own shadow? Because he was fucking running away?”, Wymack ran a hand down his face and swore. Kevin nodded and cleared his throat, “yeah, he ran away with his mom when he was eleven. But she died and..”, he shrugged and let out a pained sigh as Abby began to rub lotion onto his bruising neck. “Fucking great”, Wymack turned his back to the team and shook his head before turning to glare down at Kevin, “you should’ve told us sooner, Day. What if something has gone wrong and we’re too fucking late?” Kevin winced at his words and slowly closed his eyes; he’s been blamed for a lot of shit in his life, but Neil’s possible death stabs deeper than anything before. “I’m sorry”, he whispered, desperate for someone to believe him. “That’s not good enough right now. Everyone get in your seats”, Wymack barked as he strode to the front of the bus and sat down with a loud sigh. Kevin stood up slowly and sank into his seat, watching out of the window as his fear and anxiety choked him once again.

Kevin sunk into the corner of the hotel room and dropped his head into his hands; his left hand red raw from his anxious picking. He didn’t want to stay in this room, he didn’t care if the FBI forced them to, he needed to get out. They reassured him that Neil would be okay, but he didn’t believe them. Kevin flinched as a hand was placed on his shoulder, a gentle squeeze making him want to crawl out of his skin. “He’s going to be okay”, Abby smiled down at him and placed a gentle kiss on his temple, “I know what he means to you”. Kevin blinked up at her and tried to hold his anxious tears in; he didn’t want anyone to know what Neil meant to him. Neil was his and he was going to protect him until the day he dropped dead. “Fuck’s sake”, Wymack grumbled as a loud knock startled everyone up onto their feet. They all stood in silence as their Coach opened the door cautiously and grunted when two FBI agents walked through the door with annoyed facial expressions. “I’m Special Agent Browning and this”, the smug suited man gestured to the taller man beside him, “is my partner Special Agent Towns. We are working on the Baltimore case and can officially announce that the butcher has been executed”. He said it so proudly, so smugly that Kevin wanted to rip the man’s face off with his bare fucking hands. “But this information is not to leave this room, do you understand?”, Towns glared at each face before nodding and pulling a notebook out of his jacket pocket, “we would like some information on Nathaniel Wesninksi, the butcher’s son”. Nathaniel. That name alone brought too many bad memories up that Kevin wanted to scream. He wanted to scream that his name is Neil, he hated that name and he ran so far away to forget it; but now they’re pinning him back down with it. “His-his name is Neil”, Kevin spoke up and felt everyone’s eyes turn to him, “and I want to know where he is”. He tried to stay formal and authoritative but his voice cracked in fear. Both agents shared a small look, a silent conversation being spoken right in front of their faces, before Browning nodded and turned to face the room. “We are sorry to say that Nathaniel did not make it. Our condolences”. Kevin felt the air leave his lungs as if he’d been shot a million times in the chest. “What?”, he whispered as the Foxes turned to shoot him death glares. “For fuck’s sake, Kevin. You should’ve told us”, Matt spat as Dan physically held him back from killing Kevin. “I didn’t-he didn’t want me to, I was just-“, Kevin took a step back in instinctive fear as the Foxes began to shout over each other, each word ripping deep into Kevin’s skin that they began to merge together into a numbing ring in his ears. “He’s okay, they’re just-“, Kevin gripped his chest with his left hand and replayed all his memories with Neil, “they’re lying. He’s okay”. Browning shook his head and sighed, “I’m sorry, kid, but his father got to him before we could infiltrate the building”. Kevin fell to his knees and covered his ears, his lungs bursting in his chest. “No, he’s okay, he’s okay”, he whispered hoarsely, bile slowly creeping up his bruised throat. His ears began to ring with shouts and cries as he watched his Neil slip away behind his eyelids, the blue eyes that he fell in love with slowly closing shut to never open again.

“He’s okay”, Kevin whispered as his body began to shake, painful sobs ripping through his chest, “he’s okay”. He replayed every interaction with Neil, his body still humming with his touches, his cheeks still blushing from the soft kisses. “He’s okay, you’re lying”, he whispered though it came out barely audible, his throat burning with the bile. He felt like he was dying and he was leaning into it; hoping that this will finally be the moment where he’ll die and won’t have to live without Neil. The boy that he fell in love with the moment he saw him swagger onto the court when they were eleven. The boy that mouthed off to the press, to Riko, but would kiss him so gently; would hold him with such tenderness that it would sometimes make him want to cry. His reason to fight back who has lost the battle; who proved that life would never get better, at least not for them. He let out a wail as he felt his lungs collapse, his body shaking so much that he felt as if he were leaving it; finally being freed. “Kevin”, a blurry voice broke through the deafening ring in his ears, a voice so soft that it made his heart break more, “Kevin, sweetheart, give me your hand”. He opened his eyes slowly and blinked through the tears, his head swimming with his fight or flight reflexes. He wanted to do neither; he wanted to disappear. “Give me your hand”, Abby gently took ahold of his hand and placed it against her neck, “feel my pulse, can you feel it?” It took too much energy for Kevin to nod so he squeezed his eyes shut instead. “Good, now match my breathing, I know it’s hard but you can do it”, Abby began breathing too loudly for Kevin’s ears and he just wanted to push her away, but he tried anyway; she always makes him want to try. “Good, that great, you’re doing so well”, Abby whispered through breaths, a sad smile in her voice. “I don’t want to do it”, Kevin whispered as he felt his chest sag in defeat. “No, you’re doing great, I’m so proud”, Abby cupped his face and wiped away the tears that were infinite. Kevin shook his head and dropped his head on her shoulder, opening his eyes to watch as the other Foxes had turned their backs on him. Neil was the only one that made him want to stay here, so why did he let him go? All he had to do was hold a little tighter, but Kevin always let good things slip through his fingers, “I’m sorry”, he whispered though no one heard him.

Kevin strode onto the Ravens court with his head held and with a victory already in his grasp. “For you”, he whispered to the sky before tapping the butt of his racquet against the floor and changing hands, “you gave me your game and I won’t let you down”.

[lazuli-bloom]

Roses and Styx

Chapter 3 – Kids' Games To Pass The Time

Beetlejuice x Reader

Word Count : 5,399

New day, new problems. Sure things aren't the worst they could be, but that new hire isn't making things all that easy at work.

Last Chapter | Archive | Next Chapter

--=--=--

An annoying, rhythmic buzz cut through silence. Light seeped its way in, chasing away the shadows of sleep. You groaned and rolled. It was too early to face the new day.

Compounding your groggy state was the fact you didn't sleep for shit last night. The chilly October night sucked the warmth from your room, and you had only a few blankets to shield yourself from it. And the chill didn't stop your mind racing most of the night. When sleep came to you, it brought restless dreams.

The first wasn't terrible, just strange. A weird bug followed you home wanting to be friends. The other dream, however... A vile pit formed in your stomach.

Your thoughts drifted to the dream. You couldn't move. Arms, legs, head, nothing. You couldn't budge an inch no matter how hard you fought. Something wanted you to stay still. And it wasn't as if your surroundings gave you any clues either. Darkness blanketed the room. No details, just a barren inky void. The only thing you found with you was a set of pinprick lights.

A voice spoke. It whispered beautiful words coated in honey. Your guts twisted. A warm touch held your face, and the voice asked you a question. Your words caught in your throat. The entity glared at you with icy eyes, and the sweet words soured to a nasty venom.

You clutched your chest as the memory of searing heat replayed. It sank blazing claws into your waist and arm, blistering and cooking the flesh.

You drew in shaky breaths and wiped away the leftover tears. It was just a dream. It was just a bad dream. You're safe.

You took in one more breath before getting up to start your day.

Normally you would go straight to the bathroom, but you wanted to check something. You stepped out into the main living space and found it empty. A DVD case sat on the coffee table, but the TV screen was dark. The couch laid devoid of any unexpected house guests. No sign anyone else was ever there. Your heart sank as you realized the encounter you remembered was just another dream cooked up by your tired brain. A frown pulled at your lips and you sighed. No time to mope. You needed to get ready for work.

You opened the bathroom door and peered inside. Rigel napped on the top of the toilet's water tank, surrounded by shredded toilet paper. At least it was less of a mess than yesterday. You clean up the ribbons and tossed them in the garbage under the sink. After you topped off his food and water, you hopped in the shower.

The water in your apartment only ever got up to lukewarm on a good day. And that was not a good day. Frigged rain pelted you, giving you goosebumps. Not wanting to linger, you got out and dressed a few minutes later.

You combed your fingers through your hair as you looted the kitchen. Damn cat, why'd it have to throw up on your hairbrush? You grumbled to yourself and pulled out the off-brand cereal to fix breakfast.

"What 'cha doing, babes?" A voice from nowhere spoke in your ear.

Your knees buckle and you collapse, taking the bag of cereal with you. You gripped at your chest to still your heart, and rolled to sit with your back to the cabinets. A man in a rotting striped suit floated in your kitchen, clutching his rounder stomach as he cackled.

"Oh sweets, that's great! I wasn't even trying!"

As the shock fades, your features scrunched up. You got to your feet and tossed the bag on the counter. With crossed arms you pivot to glare at the ghost, still laughing his ass off.

"Giving me a heart attack first thing in the morning," you said with a huff, "I came out here and you were gone. I thought I had dreamed the whole thing, you jerk."

"So you're saying you missed me?" He batted his eyes at you, setting your cheeks on fire. You would not dignify that with a response. Instead, you turned back to the counter and fixed your breakfast.

"Where did you go then?" you asked and riffled through the silverware drawer for a spoon.

"I was checking on your neighbors. Did you know the guys a few doors down have a shit-ton of electronics?"

"Yeah, and old lady Smith has a garden in her closet."

"Really? Which one is she in? I didn't find that."

"She's on the third floor, but don't bug her too much. She's nice. Plus she bakes amazing cookies for me whenever I help her."

You scarfed your breakfast, and double checked you had everything done. Rigel was in the bathroom with his things. You had your wallet and phone. After you finished the last bite, you set the bowl in the sink along with the one from last night.

You rinsed out the bowl and hummed to yourself before you glanced over your shoulder to the ghost. He grinned at you with a tilt of his head. You gave him a small smile, only to frown.

"I have to head to work."

That simple sentence wiped the grin from his face. His shoulders sank, and the color of his hair shifted. A dull purple seeped in and overtook the green. That couldn't be a good sign. "You're leaving me here?"

"Well, you could stay here, or..."

"Or?"

"If you can be out of the way and let me focus on my work when I need to, then you could tag along with me. It’d be nice having someone other than my boss to talk to during the downtime."

His grin stretched across his face again, and he spun up to you, batting his eyes. "Oh babes, you do care! Of course I'll go with you! Not my idea for a first date, but I'll take it."

You pressed your lips tight. Was this a mistake? Not like you can take back the offer, though. That would crush him. You let out a long sigh and rubbed at your temple.

"Not a date, dude."

"If you say so," he purred.

You shook your head and grabbed the keys before heading to the car. The ghost trailed you, with an ever present chill at your side. On the way to the car, he pointed out each of the apartments and spilled whatever secrets he found out. You had an inkling of some of your neighbors' crimes, but you weren't one to go tattling. It was best to let them deal with their lives and you deal with yours. So you ended up nodding along to what the ghost told you.

When you got to your car, you sat behind the wheel for a moment. Once your ghostly friend floated into the passenger seat, you took in a breath.

"Okay. A few things before we get there," You said as you fought to start the car, "If either my boss or a customer comes up and needs to talk to me, I would appreciate it if you hang back for a minute and let me handle them. Otherwise, I mostly just front-face merchandise and I can talk with you so long as I'm quiet. Also, I take my lunches in the cemetery, so I can talk a bit more freely there."

"Sounds good to me, toots."

You rolled your eyes and got the hunk of junk started. The car protested with clangs, but you drove off with a little more of a fight. On the scenic drive to work he asked you to turn on the radio, which got a dry laugh from you.

"What's so funny?"

"Radio's broke. Most things in this car are broken. Radio, heater, a/c. All of them are broken."

"Can't you get a new one? There's cars all over the place, just take one."

"Th-this isn't Grand Theft Auto,"

"It will be once you take a car!"

"Okay, technically true. I meant this isn't the game GTA, this is real life. And I would get arrested."

"Not if you had help from the ghost with the most!"

You rolled your eyes and turned onto the main road, heading for work. The rest of the drive, the "ghost with the most" filled the air with his own voice, singing a medley of songs. Some of them you recognized, others you suspected he made up on the spot.

You pulled into the employee parking and parked your car alongside the two much nicer ones there. As you collected your things, Beetlejuice pointed to the sleek mustang.

"That car looks fun! We should steal a car like that!"

"I'm pretty sure that's Brandon's car. I'm not stealing my coworker's car to take for a joyride."

"But it would be so cool!"

"Maybe later," you said, stepping out of your junker.

The bell chimed as you entered the store and caught your boss's attention. He came over to greet you and made sure you were doing better. You gave a small laugh and rubbed at the back of your neck.

"Yeah, I'm doing better." You glanced sidelong to the ghost wandering over to the front counter.

"Good. Now hopefully I can focus on training Brandon without as many interruptions. He keeps breaking away to chat with every customer that comes into the store. So I need you to handle the customers so he doesn't have an excuse."

"Got it. And if you need help with him, I can always smack some sense into him. The new order of mallets is in the back, right?"

Mr. Turner laughed and turned to go back to teaching Brandon. You smiled to yourself and meandered over to the counter. Your ghost pal sat on the countertop next to the computer.

"You never mentioned you get to hit people at your job, any openings?"

"Sorry, spot's filled. For now, anyway. But who knows, maybe we'll need a replacement soon."

"Save it for me. I would kill to get to hang around a pretty little breather like you all day and get paid for it. But doing that for free is nice too."

"You're a shameless flirt."

"How can a sexy beast like me not be with you around and able to see me?"

You shook your head and glanced at the computer. There was something you wanted to look up, you were sure of it. But what was it? You stepped closer and opened a new tab for the search. It sat blank for a moment as you retraced what the topic could have been.

"What are ya doing, babes?"

"I can't remember what I wanted to search for."

"One hundred great ways to skin a cat?"

You raised a brow and frowned at him. "I'm not hurting Rigel." A light flicked on in your head.

You typed in the cat's name and clicked on the page for the star. A picture of the Orion constellation to the side of the page showed off the stars. Most of them had fancy looking letters next to them, with a few having numbers attached. Rigel marked the lower right star, while the upper left was the only other star with a word.

"Beh-tell? Goose? Wait..." You jerked your head over to the ghost, who wore a Cheshire grin. "That's how you spell your name?"

"Yep. That's me. Behtellgoose."

You read the name once more. Betelgeuse. Such a strange spelling to sound like beetle-juice. Kind of cool though. You smiled and closed out of the tab when an unfamiliar voice called out to you.

"Good morning, Art. Great to see you doing better!"

"Heh, yeah. Feeling better." You forced a tight-lipped smile to prevent yourself from frowning. Brandon stayed still with his own fake smile plastered on his face. After a beat of him not saying anything, you asked, "Do you need something?"

"You forgot to go grab your apron. What if a customer came in? That would look very unprofessional. Here, I'll watch the counter and you can go grab your apron."

The corner of your mouth twitched, and you took in a deep breath. You stepped away and grabbed your stupid apron. As you threw it on, the bell chimed. You rushed back out, hoping to catch the customer before Brandon.

The counter stood unattended and you found Brandon down one aisle with a woman discussing products. You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Isn't that what your boss wanted you to stop him from doing?"

"Yes, Beetle, it is."

You hissed out a sigh and shook your head. As you walked over to them, you prepared yourself to speak in your chipper customer service voice. Brandon insisted he could take care of the customer, only for Mr. Turner to order him to get back to training. Brandon grimaced and stepped away to let you take over.

Your smile was easier to keep on your face after that. You helped the customer find what she needed and rang up her items. She left with a wave and you went back to the computer.

"What the hell is that guy's deal?" Betelgeuse asked, gesturing with a thumb to Brandon.

"I don't know. I don't know if I really care." You leaned back onto your heels and let your mind wander. Whenever you were alone, stuck at the counter, you always pulled up simple web games on the computer to pass the time. But with Betelgeuse there, you couldn't ignore him to play games.

"What are ya thinking about, sweets? How hot it would be to make out right now?"

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. "No, you flirt. I'm thinking of what we can do to pass the time. All I'm coming up with are twenty questions and I spy."

"I'm fine with that," he said as he flashed you a sharp grin. "Okay, I'll start. I spy with my rotten eye, something... metal."

"Well, that narrows it down."

The two of you spent the rest of the morning going, taking turns playing those silly kids' games. Betelgeuse huffed and whined whenever a customer, or worse, Brandon, pulled you away to help them. Any time you called him out on his grumbling, he denied it as the color in his hair shifted.

He caught you staring at his hair once or twice, which exacerbated the shifting colors. Each time that happened, Betelgeuse quickly picked up whichever game you two had been playing. You left the topic alone for the moment, but stashed it away to ask about later.

Halfway into a difficult game of twenty questions, Mr. Turner came up to the counter. You ignored Betelgeuse's smug punchable face and greeted your boss, hoping your frustration didn't bleed into your tone.

"Cass, I'm stepping out for a bit to pick up something. I should be back for you to take your lunch break. Keep an eye on the store and Brandon for me, while I'm gone, okay?"

"Got it. Burn down the place and leave no evidence. Can do."

He shook his head with a laugh. Mr. Turner said, "you turd," before he waved goodbye and left the shop.

"Ooh baby, I love you talking about crimes like that! Tell me how you'd light up the place."

You turned back to the ghost. He floated with his stomach parallel to the ground as he held his scruffy chin in his hands and swung his legs pointed upward. You laughed at the dork and smiled.

"Well, the kerosene is over there, and the rolls of rags are an aisle over. There's a blow torch with some of the other tools."

"Artemis!" You whipped your attention to the stick in the mud, frowning at you. You didn't even get the chance to speak. "That kind of talk is highly unprofessional! Going over ways to burn down the store, shame on you."

"I was joking dude, it's not—"

"Well, I don't find that funny. And you shouldn't address your elders as 'dude', it is very disrespectful."

"Alright, I'm sorry."

"Good. Now I need your help."

You gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. Brandon motioned for you to follow him, and once he turned back, you brought two fingers to your temple and jerked your head away.

In the middle of a tedious and painful walkthrough of creating an order of paint, the bell rang. Brandon broke away the second it chimed and went straight to helping the customer. That was irritating enough, but after the regular said they didn't need any help, Brandon insisted on assisting them.

You took in a deep breath and let the man dig his own grave. If he doesn't value your help, then he's not getting it. You marched back to the counter and found Betelgeuse picking his teeth.

He licked a striped tongue over his sharp teeth then said, "What a douchebag."

"Tell me about it."

The customer came up to the counter a minute later, followed by Brandon. You greeted the regular and switched the computer over to its register display. Your new coworker nudged you aside and insisted on being the one to ring up the customer.

"Artemis, you should have stayed at the paint desk. I'll meet you back there in a minute, after I help this gentleman."

You wanted nothing more than to slap that man. Who the hell does he think he is? Calling you unprofessional and pulling stunts like that? You grit your teeth and forced a smile before excusing yourself to head back to the paint desk.

Betelgeuse floated after you and lounged on top of the desk. You spared him a glance, but stuck to pacing the small paint pit, waiting for that douche-canoe to get back there. The customer didn't even have a lot of things to buy, so it shouldn't take Brandon that long.

"That freaking jerk," you said under your breath, "I can't believe Mr. Turner hired a guy like that."

"Want me to kill him?"

"Tempting, but no. I'm just going to talk to my boss when he gets back." You checked your phone for the time. A quarter after one, which means only fifteen more minutes until your lunch break. "God, I hope he's here soon."

You tapped your nails against the metal top of the tint machine, the speed of which accelerated the longer you waited. What the hell was taking him so long? Did another customer show up? This was getting infuriating.

"You sure you don't want me to kill the guy?"

"No, Beetle, I don't want you to do that."

"Art, who are you talking to?"

You turned around to the voice. Brandon stood at the threshold of the paint pit with his hand on his hips and raised a brow at you. Your face burned as you laughed, attempting to cover up your embarrassment.

"Oh, just this annoying little beetle. It was crawling under the tint dispenser."

"Do you regularly talk to disgusting bugs?" he asked. You opened your mouth to speak, only for Brandon to keep talking. "It doesn't matter. You shouldn't act so childish. How old are you? Late teens?"

"No, Brandon, I'm closer to my thirties than my teens."

"And you're talking to bugs, where any customer can come up and see that behavior. You ought to grow up and act your age, Artemis."

The bell chimed again, and you shuffled to the side to get an unobstructed view of the front. Mr. Turner stepped in with a smile and a wave. You waved back and checked the clock on the computer. One twenty-seven, perfect. You pulled your apron's strings and took it off in a swift motion.

"Where do you think you're going, Artemis?"

"Lunch."

Brandon frowned, and you folded up your apron with a smile. He probably wanted to stop you from leaving, but that shit would not fly with the boss back. Betelgeuse hopped down from his spot on the counter and followed. You tossed your apron behind the front counter and greeted Mr. Turner. After a quick rundown of what had happened, you left for your break, with a quick stop to your car to grab your food.

On the walk to the cemetery, Betelgeuse mocked the stupid things Brandon said. He was dead on with his impression, too.

"Artemis, do you think I give a shit? I'm a giant douche with a stick up my ass! There's no fun allowed in the store."

You did your best to hold back your laughter, but that only caused you to snort. A laugh roared out next to you in Betelgeuse's voice. You covered your mouth with your free hand, but that couldn't stop your shoulders from bouncing. As the two of you crossed into the graveyard, you glanced sidelong at the ghost, who shot you a grin.

In the cemetery, devoid of any other visitors, you veered towards your usual spot, off in the corner and near the front gate. You sat on the stone bench, setting your lunch beside you. Betelgeuse, however, sat on a gravestone, with his feet propped up on the one next to it.

You opened up your small bag of chips and started snacking on them. Betelgeuse looked over from picking at his nails and raised a brow at you.

"That's all you're going to eat, babes?"

"I have a granola bar too."

You grabbed the other half of your lunch and showed him. He tilted his head with a frown, but said nothing. It grew quiet, save for your munching on the chips. Your mind wandered, and you zoned out, staring unfocused in a random direction. Betelgeuse moved, catching your eye, and you studied him.

He gnawed at his black nails with jagged yellow teeth. Stubble covered his round chin, matching the same green mixed in his hair. Has his stubble changed color like his hair has? And why did his hair change color to begin with?

You hummed to yourself after finishing the last of your chips.

"What's up, sweets?"

"I... was hoping to ask you something."

Betelgeuse tilted his head to the other side and raised a brow and pursed his lips. You gave a half smile and laughed. He looked like a curious puppy. How could this ghost-demon look so cute?

"What is it?"

"I've noticed that your hair isn't always green." 

As soon as the sentence left your mouth, the color of his hair shifted to a deep purple. You shrank back as your stomach twisted into knots. Even without knowing what the colors meant, the frown on his face and sudden dodging of eye contact weren't good signs. On no. You messed up, didn't you? Why couldn't you have just kept your mouth shut?

"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything. Forget I ever mentioned it."

You dug your nails into your palms and turned your gaze to your knees. Betelgeuse produced a mix of a growl and a groan, and you peered up at him through your hair. His lips pulled into an almost smile as he kept sharp eyes pointed at his hands, where he raked his nails through the hair of one.

"I might as well tell you, you'd figure it out eventually. My hair changes color with my mood."

You dared to lift your head more. Your lips parted as your brain processed the new information.

"Like a chameleon?"

"Like what?"

He tilted his head and raised a brow as his nose wrinkled. You forced out a small laugh and smile as you wrung your wrists. "A chameleon, the little lizards that change color. It's to communicate their mood. Darker colors like black are when it's stressed, neutral tones are when it's calm, and vibrant greens, or reds can be excitement or aggression."

Betelgeuse lurched forward with a growl and ran his hands through his hair, shielding the deepening purple from view. Your stomach twisted into knots. This wasn't getting better. You parted your lips only to press them shut a second later. Why did you have to screw up and bring up his hair in the first place?

Your nails dug deeper into your palms. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"If you're going to strip a guy naked like that, babes, you could at least buy me dinner first."

Your face wrinkled as you tilted your head at him. Betelgeuse still held himself curled and closed off, but he wore a weak crooked smile. Your lips twitched, and you huffed out a dry laugh.

"Alright, we can go through the drive thru to get a few things off the dollar menu."

"Ooh! I wanna try one of those green sludgy shake things from that Old MacDonald place."

"Sorry to break this to you, but they only sell those in March."

"What? That's lame!"

"Everything is pumpkin spice right now."

He pouted and crossed his arms with a huff. Despite the childish act, the purple in his hair faded back to a muted green. You chuckled to yourself as relief washed over you. With a soft smile, you grabbed the other half of your lunch and hummed before you opened it.

"Hey Beetle."

"Hmm?"

"I won't bring it up again if you don't want me to, but I wanted to say I think your chameleon hair is pretty cool. Like, is it magic? Or is it a demon thing? Or—sorry. I'm sorry. I'll shut up about it now. Sorry."

Your eyes darted to focus on your granola bar. You fumbled with tearing open the packaging for a second, only for the wrapper to give. The force sent your food tumbling to the ground. You stared at the broken bar and heaved out a sigh. Just wonderful.

Your pocket buzzed, veering your attention to it. You pulled out your phone and checked the caller id. Unknown number. Chills cascaded down as you stared at the phone.

"Something wrong, babes?"

"Nope. Everything's fine. Just some spam call."

You shoved it back into your pocket and let it ring. If the caller wanted anything, they can leave a voicemail. Besides, you needed to get back to work.

You picked up your trash and nodded your head to the gate. Betelgeuse hopped up and floated alongside you. After a few steps out of the cemetery, your phone rang again. Every fiber in you tensed up, but you left your phone in your pocket. The third time your phone rang, Betelgeuse spoke up again.

"Who the hell keeps calling you?"

You shrugged and laughed despite your dry throat. "Who knows? I have to get back to work though."

With a hurried pace, you made it back to the store in a few minutes. The bell swung, chiming away as you beeline for your apron behind the counter. Brandon stood at the register with a phone up to his ear.

"There you are, Art! I've been calling you and you never once answered!" Brandon frowned at you and slipped his phone into his pants pocket. "You're obligated to pick up if I or Mr. Turner ever need to call you."

"O-oh, that was you calling." A small breath escapes passed your lips and you relax, only to register what he said. "Wait, how did you even get my number? I've only ever given this number to Sam and Mr. Turner."

"Why does it matter how I got your number? The issue is; if work calls you, especially if you have a shift that day, you need to answer."

"Fine, okay. I'll save your number so I don't panic again when I'm called three times in a row."

"Oh please, three phone calls make you panic? Artemis, you're an adult. You should know better than to be worried about something as simple as a phone call."

You grit your teeth and smiled. This conversation wasn't going anywhere you wanted, and you didn't plan on sticking around. You threw on your apron and marched to a far corner of the store to get away from everyone. Well, save for the ghost haunting you.

"Wow, babes, that guy is a major piece of work."

"Piece of shit is more like it."

You grabbed at products on the shelf and pulled them forward, turning the labels when needed. If you looked busy, maybe Brandon would mind his own fucking business. You clenched your jaw and growled as you brought more things forward.

"I shouldn't be worried about phone calls? What the fuck does he know? He's never had to put up with the shit I have!"

"And what shit would that be, babes?"

You glanced up to the ghost laying on his stomach across the top of the aisle shelving. Betelgeuse tilted his head. Soft and earnest curiosity graced his features. The corner of your mouth twitched before you closed your eyes and let out a hiss.

"I don't want to get into it," you said, keeping your voice quiet, "but I've had someone call me over and over before. It wasn't fun."

You pulled the rest of the items forward within arm's reach before sidestepping to get more. Betelgeuse floated after you as you inched down the aisle. He picked the games back up, and you welcomed the distraction.

There were one or two rounds of I spy, several goes at twenty questions—which you're positive Betelgeuse cheated and switched his topic multiple times. Towards the end of your shift, well after Brandon left for the day, you two asked a few "would you rather" questions. While he asked a few risque questions at the start—bite or be bitten, top or bottom—his questions took a tamer turn, similar to the ones you asked.

"Okay babe, would you rather find a rat in the kitchen or a roach in your bed?"

"I mean... I guess I'd prefer seeing another rat in the kitchen over finding more roaches?"

"M-more?"

"Donna hires her incompetent nephew to do the pest control for the apartments." You swept the line of dirt into the pan and tossed it into the trash. "Actually, speaking of, I should double check the traps and make sure something isn't rotting somewhere in the apartment."

Betelgeuse watched you finish the last of the closing routine. You clicked the pan back around the neck of the broom and stuffed it into a corner behind the counter. The only thing left was Mr. Turner to finish locking up the cash and heading out. You leaned against the counter and rolled your head back to look at the ceiling.

A quiet stillness overtook the store. It lasted a few seconds before Betelgeuse spoke up again.

"Would you rather have a nicer place but the same landlady, or the same apartment with a nicer landlady—"

"Alright Cass, you ready to leave?"

You turned your attention from the unseen ghost to your boss. He smiled and gestured to the door. You returned a half smile before exiting. Mr. Turner locked up, and you waved goodbye. A minute later you sank into the car seat and rested your hands on the wheel.

"Well babes, this certainly seems familiar."

You glanced his way and rolled your eyes before getting the car started.

"Yep, it's been an entire day since a demon followed my home, like a lost puppy."

"I'm way cuter than any puppy. Plus, you can keep me in your apartment all you want and your shitty landlady can't do anything about it!"

"Nicer landlady, by the way," you said as the car sputtered to life.

"What?"

"I'd rather have a nicer landlady than a nicer place. Donna would just let a nicer place fall to ruin."

You pulled out of the parking lot and drove home. At the first red light, you tapped your finger on the wheel and hummed.

"Hey Beetle, would you rather stay in a comfortable and familiar place with people that don't believe half of what you say, or cut all contact with them and be alone if it meant freedom?"

Betelgeuse tilted his head from one side to the other, closing his eyes as he mulled over your question. As he thought, the light changed, and you continued on your way home. A sharp grin stretched across his face a moment later.

"Easy. I'd take my freedom."

Your lips twitched up. "Yeah... me too."

[solarwonux]

10.  “I still remember the way you taste.”

31.  “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

villain!wonwoo x superhero!f!reader

w.c: 2.6k (it was mistake okay I got carried away we should know this by now)

warnings: fluff, talks of death, ghosts, torture if you squint, graveyards, digging up graves (don’t do that yall), angst a little, it’s hinted that the reader can communicate with ghosts. (if you’re uncomfortable with any of these themes this one is not for you)

note: I CAN EXPLAIN OKAY I KNOW YOU WANTED JOKER WONWOO BUT LIKE IT STARTED OFF THAT WAY AND THEN I GOT SOFT. Enjoy let know your thoughts please, they mean so much to me. 

Also i will answer asks at some point, school is just keeping me super busy, BUT IM NOT IGNORING THEM THEY MAKE ME SMILE EVERY TIME I SEE THEM.

masterlist || drabble game

Wonwoo wiped the sweat off of his brow with the back of his hand, panting slightly as he stared down at the empty grave. “Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Vernon asked, digging his shovel into the ground with the heel of his boot. He rested his forearm against the handle looking at Wonwoo through his sweaty bangs. 

“There is no reason, I was just bored.” Wonwoo shrugged, his cheeks were dusted with dirt and his white dress shirt was anything but white. The truth was he had a reason, he needed a way to meet you halfway and causing chaos was the only way to get you out of that shiny tower in the middle of the city where all the heroes resided. But his reasoning would never be voiced out loud, especially not to Vernon and so he lied like it was second nature to him. 

Wonwoo missed you, He missed getting under your skin with his snarky remarks and idiotic plans to take over the world. Or at least the city. The world was his end goal, but in order to do that he needed to succeed at taking over the city first and so far he had failed. Mainly, do to you and your teammates interrupting his plans. Though along the way something unexpected happened. He had undoubtedly fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with you. It had annoyed him at first, his mind was constantly enveloped with thoughts of you. Interrupting everything he spent years working on. 

It took him months to come to terms with his unwanted feelings and if he hadn’t snuck into the masked ball held every year at the tower; he probably wouldn’t have. But the second he saw you come down the grand staircase of the ballroom wearing a dress so blue, it put the night sky to shame; he kissed you before he could stop himself. Despite the mask he was wearing you had spotted him in the crowd and led him down an empty hallway when his urges got the best of him causing him to sin. When he pulled away he was shocked just as you were, but he was definitely floored when you had cut his apology short and kissed him again. 

“So you decided to dig up an empty grave for fun?” Vernon pushed his dirt stained hand through his hand, leaving behind little specks of dirt in its wake. “How did you even know this grave would be empty?” 

“It’s mine...well used to be mine. Obviously I’m not dead.” Wonwoo’s nonchalant tone sent shivers up Vernon’s back. Once again he found himself wondering why the hell he always found himself going along with Wonwoo’s schemes. He knew there was a reason. Wonwoo never did anything without calculating all his moves beforehand, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the true reason, more so if he was going to find out soon anyway. His suspicions were confirmed when he caught sight of you. He should’ve known that this was just another one of Wonwoo’s ways to get to you. 

Vernon didn’t understand your relationship with Wonwoo, scientifically it didn’t make sense. In simple terms Wonwoo was hated by everyone and you on the other hand were not. But the two of you had snuck around for years up until the accident five months ago. Ever since then Wonwoo’s spirits were low and he was going mad. If he wasn’t holed up in his tiny room at the apartment he was bent over a desk mumbling to himself, trying to come up with ways in which he could see you again. All of Wonwoo’s attempts before this one had failed and to say he wasn’t surprised to see you sit down, legs hanging over the edge of the grave while looking down at Wonwoo lovingly, he would be lying. Though, he supposed it had to do with the fact that Wonwoo’s grave was dug up. 

“You guys having fun there?” Wonwoo jumped. He rapidly smoothed down his shirt, leaving behind streaks of dirt, and fixed his hair before turning around. A smug smile adorning his features. Vernon shook his head and rolled his eyes. Sometimes he missed the days in which Wonwoo wasn’t in love. 

“Princess what brings you here?” He winked. His clammy hands grew more wet as he leaned against the shovel, before it failed underneath his weight causing him to trip. Seeing you again was like a breath of fresh air, the pictures he kept of you and looked at every night did you no justice. For you shined brighter than the stars in the night sky and it always made Wonwoo’s heart skip a beat. 

“Cut the shit Wonwoo, I know you’ve been turning this city upside down at least once a week to get under my skin.” 

“Well, what was I supposed to do? You haven’t been answering my calls, texts or emails.” Wonwoo threw his hands up in disbelief and you rolled your eyes at his ignorance. 

“Apologize, that’s all you had to do and you wouldn’t be here digging your own grave...literally.” You huffed crossing your arms in front of you, ripping your eyes away from his. Suddenly the memory of the accident came lingering back. You knew, given his nature, Wonwoo was calculated. He used his powers to affiliate pain on his victims without moving a muscle to get what he wanted. Though, he had never used it on you, until that night. 

He had been blinded by rage and pain and you had never seen him use so much power in your years of knowing him. It scared you and when you had tried to coax him out of whatever state he was in. He did the one thing he promised he would never do. 

He used his abilities on you. 

Wonwoo sighed before hosting himself out of the hole and taking the empty seat next you. “I wanted to do it in person, but you never showed up.” He looked down at his hands playing with his fingers, twirling the ring on his pinky. His body was consumed with guilt as your screams of agony replayed in his head. Just like they did every night. He had never once felt anything but satisfaction and bliss whenever he used his powers on someone. In fact he loved the way his victims begged him to stop, that was until you were on the receiving end of his torture. 

“You know where I live. It’s a big shiny tower in the center of town. Pretty hard to miss honestly.” The airy playfulness of your voice made his stomach swirl. He truly missed you and not just on nights when the two of you gently explored each other's bodies, but just in general. 

“I know but you know how much I hate the others, especially Joshua. He always has to stick his nose into matters that don’t concern him.” He huffed, flicking a tiny spec of dirt off of his trousers. “And I was scared.” He confessed lowly, shocking Vernon who had now taken it upon himself to sit on the soil filled ground to watch the spectacle in front of him. Wonwoo never admitted his fears and though Vernon sometimes could feel them radiating off him. It was different hearing it come from his friend's mouth. 

“Of Joshua? Dude’s only got super strength and-”

“No of you. I was scared to see you suffer and to turn me away. I was scared that if I did show up putting aside indifference for your friends just to hear you say that you didn’t love me anymore.” Wonwoo let out a deep sigh at the ending of his words. He dropped his shoulders feeling the weight being lifted off them. He felt your body shake next to him and it confused him greatly, even more so when it was followed by your laugh. Though he loved it and missed it greatly. He couldn’t deny the anger he felt towards you as you laughed at his vulnerability. 

Slowly, he felt his heart close up again and brought himself up to his feet faster than he could blink. His feet moved faster than the doubt racing through his veins and your laughter came to a stop. 

He now remembered why he swore to never love again all those years ago. 

“Wonwoo, wait come back.” You hurried to your feet, smoothing down the creases on your leggings. Vernon copied your movements. He could sense the fear coming from your body, and it overwhelmed his senses. Behind his soft eyes he quietly told you to hurry before Wonwoo did something he wasn’t supposed to. Even though Wonwoo always did without planning ahead of time, there were a few instances where he didn’t care and acted carelessly. And he found himself fearing more for your heart rather than his friend's safety. 

You sighed tugging on the sleeves of your sweatshirt before turning around and ran after the only man you had ever loved. You passed many tombstones, silently paying your respects until you stopped in the middle of a small clearing, home to one familiar tombstone and Wonwoo. His hands in his pocket, eyebrows furrowed and his teeth chewing down on his teeth. 

“After she died, I promised her I wouldn’t love anyone again.” He whispered, “but then you came along and ruined it.” He turned his head, his eyes glossy with wanted tears. “Do you know how much I beat myself up every day for what I did to her. For what I did to you. I hate myself for it, I hate that I can inflict pain on everyone else but myself because I’m not one that should be suffering, not everyone else.” 

By now he had finally let his tears go. They raced down his cheeks rapidly and it shattered your heart. 

“It hurts me that you think that way about yourself. She didn’t die because of you, you tried to save her and-”

“I was too late.” Wonwoo snorted and rolled his eyes. He stared intently at the tombstone in front of him, reading his little sister’s name over and over again, letting it burn feverishly inside his mind. He missed her dearly and sometimes he wondered why you never told him anything about the conversations you would have with her whenever she visited you. But you had told him that it was a family secret between the two of you and he never questioned you again because you had used the word family and it made him feel all giddy inside.

“Let me talk Wonwoo.” You said closing the gap between you and Wonwoo. You grabbed his face in your hands and wiped away his tears with the pad of your thumb. He had always been there to comfort you on your lowest days. His sweet words and warmth grounded you back onto the Earth, but you had never gotten the opportunity to do the same to him. He always kept himself closed off and reserved. It had taken almost a year into your secret, not so secret relationship for him to tell you about his sister’s unfortunate death and a few more months after that for him to say that he loved you. Despite all those small passing moments of vulnerability he had never once cried in front of you. 

“I love you and you’re stupid for thinking that I would love you any less because of what happ-”

“I hurt you though,” Wonwoo cut you off, earning a ground shattering glare from you that sent shivers up his spine. “Sorry you can continue.” He whispered. 

“Thank you.” You smirked and wrapped your arms around his neck, making him freeze. You were the strangest person he had ever had the pleasure in knowing because normal people would never be as comfortable as you were in his presence. “I know the kind of person you are Wonwoo, through this cold exterior there is the most loving and sensible person I have ever known. I mean, baby, you spent a whole day sulking because you forgot to water your plant.” 

“You gave me that plant for my birthday, therefore he’s our child.” 

“This is exactly my point, you have the biggest of anyone I have ever known. Unfortunately, you have been dealt a bad hand in life and I really don’t understand your obsession with taking over the world. But you’re not a monster.” 

“I hurt people though, sometimes for fun.” He whispered against your skin. In the midst of your speech he had given in and circled his arms around your waist before burying his face into the crook of your neck. Leaving the two of you in an awkward and uncomfortable position. 

“And who are those people?”

“Bad people.”

“Exactly baby, they’re the scum of the Earth and you have helped stop them.” 

“Okay, but that doesn’t make me a hero. I’m just doing what you guys can’t do. On top of that Joshua’s super strength is useless, he only gets praised because he’s hot.” Wonwoo finished and raised his head, smirking. He sent you a playful wink, tears long forgotten, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Mingyu takes forever to get ready, but that’s besides the point. You’re not a monster so stop treating yourself like one.” 

“Does that mean you forgive me?” He pouted batting his eyelashes at you. 

“Yes you big idiot.” 

“Then...why haven’t you kissed me yet?” He puckered his lips and made kissing noises, making you laugh. “Hey I’m waiting and you know I’m impatient.” He spoke through pouted lips as he leaned in closer, his lips hovered over yours teasingly until you finally caved and kissed him. He sighed happily against your mouth and deepened the kiss. He had spent five months without the feeling of your touch and it scared him that he would forget how it felt. Yet, now as he kissed you with everything in him he realized he hadn’t and it overjoyed him to the point in which he accidentally let out a moan; making you pull away quickly and eyeing him down. 

“Control yourself, your sister, her friends and Vernon are here.” You scolded making him pout. 

“I’m sorry, i just...I still remember the way you taste, and I got excited.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Before he could plant his lips on yours again he was met with your hand pushing him away. He whined as you tore his arms away from your waist, his body growing cold. “Nooo, one more kiss.” He reached out making grabby hands at you like a child. Instead of giving into what he wanted you turned and started walking away, “Wait, where are you going?” He stumbled against his own feet before following you. 

“Home.” You looked over at him and stuffed your hands into the front pocket of your hoodie. “You have a grave to cover up with Vernon.” 

“But I haven’t seen you in five months, just give me five more minutes please.” 

“Wonwoo you just didn’t look hard enough baby.” You said giving him a knowing smirk before leaning over, giving him a chaste kiss on his cheek. He felt his eyes grow in realization as everything started to click in his head. If what you had hinted was the truth and you had shown up to every single sight he had caused trouble in, then he had to give it to you. You were a lot more clever than you led on. “Don’t think about it too hard, I’ll leave my window open for you.” You smiled widely giving his cheek a pat and disappeared through the trees. 

“You live on the twenty fourth floor.” He yelled after you, his hands falling down at his side in defeat. He heard someone snort next to him and suddenly he remembered that Vernon was there silently observing everything, just like always did. 

“Figure it out baby, you always do.”

[jessie9008]

Coffee and Bread

Hey guys so this is my first fanfic ever so I really hope you enjoy it!!!! I based some of it on my life. Sorry if it sucks. 

Summary: Y/N’s grandpa had recently just passed away and they have been really sad and no one from class 1-A has been able to make her feel better. Until little Eri comes in and wants to make Y/N’s sadness go away. Eri thinks of YN as an older sibling so she really wants to cheer YN up. 

(Sorry if I’m bad at summaries)

Word Count: 1.6K 

Contains: Mentions of death and a little bit of angst but with a happy ending!!!

Coffee and Bread 

It has been 3 weeks since the passing of YN’s grandpa, and it feels that their heart has been torn to pieces. YN has worked so hard to make their grandfather proud, but now that he's gone there is no point to continuing. Being once filled with ambition, they are now hollow. They’ve locked themselves in their room, unable to go outside because everywhere they look they see their grandpa. Leading to them refusing to speak  to anyone in fear of breaking down and looking weaker than they already do now. Many of their classmates wonder what is going on with their friend’s head wishing that they can help them through this difficult time. All YN is able to do now is replay all the memories of their grandfather in their head day and night with tears streaming down their face. YN is drowning in endless pain, desperately reaching out for salvation even when knowing that nothing or no one will be able to make them feel happy again. 

Mina stared at YN’s door taking a deep breath before she knocked.  “Hey YN the whole class is going to the mall just to hang out, why don’t you come with us?”  she asked.  

I stared at the door with sunken eyes, licked my chapped lips and whispered “No thank you”. I curled deeper into my blankets hoping that Mina would understand that I don’t want to go out. 

“YN you’ve been in your room for days now, you need to go out and get some fresh air”

“Please Mina I just want to be left alone” I begged. “I know you are hurting YN, but we are here to help you. You shouldn’t be suffering all by yourself” Mina pleaded. 

I yelled back “please just leave me alone” 

There was silence on the other side of the door. Mina let out a tired sigh and walked away in defeat.

I let out a tired sigh, relieved that she finally left me alone. I walked to my balcony to see what the outside looked like. I opened up my blinds and winced at how bright it is.  It looks so beautiful outside, it reminded me of how my grandpa would set up a table outside on days like these, turn on his radio, and pull out a deck of cards to play a game of war. This memory brought tears to my eyes. It hurts so much, all I think about is him, and how I won’t be able to hear his laugh, see his smile, or feel his hug. Why did he have to leave me so soon? It’s not fair he was supposed to see me graduate, give me the biggest hug and tell me how proud he is that I’m going to be a pro hero. I just wished that I could have said goodbye, and told him that I loved him one more time. I let out another sob, my knees grow weak, and I fall to the ground. I look up at my ceiling closing my eyes as I cry myself to sleep. 

Timeskip

Midoriya places the plate of food in front of YN’s door after getting no response from them. He walks back to his classmates with a defeated look. Eri looks up from her plate and  notices that YN isn’t with them eating dinner. She goes up to Midoriya with a confused face. 

“Deku why isn’t YN eating dinner with us?” Midoriya crouched down to Eri’s level “YN is really sad right now. They lost their grandpa, and he meant a lot to them.” 

“Will their grandpa come back soon so they can be happy again?” Midoriya gives her a sad look, “YN grandpa passed away, so he won’t be able to come back to make YN happy.” 

With a determined look on her face “Well if their grandpa can’t make them happy anymore then I’ll be the one to do it.” A small smile spreads on Midoriya’s face, “Maybe you will make them happy again.” He stood up and held out his hand to Eri, and he led her to the dining room so they could have dinner. While eating Eri decided that once she finished her food, she would go to YN’s room to cheer her up. 

Once finished Eri ran to put her dish in the sink, and rushed towards YN’s room. She stood in front of the door and took a deep breath in. Her small hands grabbed on to the door knob and slowly opened the door. She quietly closed the door and walked towards YN. She can hear their quiet sobs and it breaks her heart that they are hurting all alone. She climbs onto their bed and lays next to them, Eri pulls YN into a hug and they start to sob uncontrollably. “It’s okay YN, I know you miss him, but I am here to take care of you” she softly pats their head. “Can you tell me about your grandpa? I want to hear all your stories about him.” YN looked up at the young girl and gave her a weak smile “Okay” They went into a sitting position, now Eri is leaning against them. YN clears their throat “When I was about your age I used to sleepover at my grandpa’s every weekend. Around 5 in the morning he would wake me up with a big cup of coffee and some bread, and he would turn on the TV to our favorite show. Once we finished our coffee and bread, he would put everything and go outside so we could water his plants. This is one of my favorite memories of him.” YN’s voice cracked in the end. “He was such an amazing person. He is the main reason why I want to become a hero because all he did was help others and try to bring a smile to their face.” Tears were streaming down YN’s face and Eri pulled them into a hug. Eri rubbed YN’s back gently putting her into a deep sleep. She got off their bed and started to plan out how to make YN happy. 

Eri heads to Mr. Aizawa’s room “Mr. Aizawa can you help me with something?” He looked up from his computer, “Of course what do you need help with?” 

“YN has been really sad and I want to make them happy. They just told me that their grandpa and them would wake up early to eat coffee and bread and watch their favorite show. Can you help me make the coffee?’’

With a small smile on his face “How about we make you both hot chocolate instead because you are still too young to drink coffee.�� 

With a big smile on her face Eri exclaimed “Okay”

Time Skip 

The next morning comes and Eri wakes up with a determined look on her face. She jumped out of bed, and woke up Aizawa so he could heat up some hot chocolate and make toast for her and YN. Eri goes to the common room and places a couple of blankets and pillows on the couch to use while they watch some morning cartoons. Once Aizawa put the toast and hot chocolate on the table, Eri ran up to YN’s dorm room. Once in front of the door Eri knocked very timidly. YN groans at the light knocking, and gets up from her warm bed. They cracked the door open to see Eri staring at them with bright eyes and a smile. 

“Good morning YN! Can you come with me to the common room please? I have a surprise for you!” Eri exclaimed. 

YN let out a small sigh and nodded. Eri excitedly grabbed their hand and led them to the common area. As they enter the common area YN notices the toast and hot coco on the coffee table and a bundle of blanket and pillows on the couches. They look down at Eri with a confused look on her face and ask “What's all this?”

Eri smiled wide “This is to cheer you up, I wanted to remake one of your memories that you had with your grandpa. Do you like it?” 

YN smiled at the young girl with tears in her eyes, and hugged the young girl, “I love it thank you so much” 

Eri giggled and led them to the couch to get under the covers and watch cartoons. YN sat down and Eri climbed onto their lap and pulled the blanket over them. 

“Thank you so much Eri, this really nice, it makes me feel like I am with my grandpa.” 

“I’m glad you like it YN! If you want we can do this every weekend?”

“I would love that Eri”

Eri smiled and cuddled into YN's chest and started to eat her toast and drink her hot coco. 

After a couple of minutes Aizawa enters the common area to check on them and he notices them fast asleep on the couch, he smiles slightly and starts to pick up the mugs and plates. He goes to the couch and places another blanket over the two sleeping children and heads back to his room to go back to bed. 

[solinarimoon]

Fields of Wildflowers

Chapter 2

A/N: anything in italics is either inner monologue or reminiscing. Please let me know if you’re enjoying the story and might like to be on my taglist. You can read the prequel one-shot and chapter 1 if you wish.

Warnings: None for this chapter (I think)

Word Count: 2253

Pairing: Sihtric x OC

The sun beat down on the company as they traveled along the road.  The plan was to travel to Ceaster where, with luck, Aethelflaed would be waiting.  Uhtred and the Lady of Mercia had discussed contingency plans of retreating there should tensions in Mercia boil over.  

Cwen rode along beside Osferth who drove the cart containing their meager supplies and the children.  She knew Ealfwin was feeling scared and worried for her mother.  The young girl was a gentle and sensitive creature.  She spent her days playing with dolls or with her little birds.  

In many ways, Ealfwin reminded Cwen of her mother as a child.  Aethelflaed had grown into an independent and smart woman.  But at Ealfwin’s age, while she was intelligent, Aethelflaed’s head was full of dreaming.  Mainly dreams full of romance and love.  It made Cwen sad that her friend’s spirit had had those dreams dashed and torn from her with her marriage to Aethelred.  

Aethelflaed was keenly aware of her daughter’s disposition and she fought to protect that innocence as long as she could. It was a hard balance to find. Preparing your child for harsh truths and realities. Giving them the skill and knowledge to deal with those truths head on while still allowing them their innocence. 

But in this moment, Cwen wondered if the young girl was too sheltered, too naive.  

Cwen always strived to be truthful and realistic with Ealfwin.  She had been through too much and known Aethelflaed to have gone through too much to deny the child that kindness. 

Cwen could hear Stiorra chiding Ealfwin from the back of the cart. She also heard Young Uhtred defending her. 

Give her a few minutes and then I will check on her, Cwen thought. See if Stiorra’s words altered Ealfwin’s weepy state.  Cwen did not aim to be dismissive or cruel. But she did want to avoid swooping in to rescue the girl from those harsh words. Harsh words are everywhere and a woman must learn to stand up to them. 

Cwen’s thoughts were interrupted at the sound of a rider approaching. She felt her heart flutter in her chest and she rode back to her beside Ealfwin. Harsh words from a companion were one thing. Unknown dangers and unknown riders were a different story. 

The rider was a woman. Cwen recognized her and had to suppress a shudder. Instead she turned her eyes to find Sihtric. 

He gallops past the group to crest the hill where Eadith had just appeared. That was her name. Eadith. Sister to Eardwulf. 

As Sihtric galloped back to the front of their party, his eyes met Cwen’s. Too fast for her to read anything from them. But they still met and she felt a calm come over her. 

“I will be right back. Stay in the cart with Aethelstan.” Cwen’s words were soothing but firm. Ealfwin nodded her understanding while shifting to have a better view of the front of the cart. 

When Cwen cantered forward she positioned herself next to Sihtric. Her eyes met Uhtred’s. What information does Eadith bring?

“The Lady Aethelflaed has fled Aylesbury. She bid me find you and tell you she wishes you to meet her at the ruins of St. Millburgs Priory.”

“Did your brother send you?” Cwen askes. 

At her interjection, both Uhtred and Eadith glance at her. 

“No. He does not know I am here. My brother imprisoned Lady Aethelflaed but I helped her escape.” Eadith said while shifting her eyes back to Uhtred. 

“Why should I believe you?”

“I do not lie,” Eadith quipped as if those words should serve as a convincing argument. 

“Then how did you know where to find us?” Uhtred asked.

“The Lady told me you had spoken of traveling to Ceaster. I was to find you and bid you meet her at the ruins.”

Young Uhtred spoke up, “St. Milburg’s is on the way to Wenloca and we have passed it.”

“It could be a trick to divert us,” Finan added. 

At this, Eadith expressed her frustration, “I have done what I promised. You can choose to believe it or not,” she finished with a sigh. 

“Where will you go?” Uhtred asks her. 

“I have family in Frankia”

“If you wish to board a ship to Frankia, you must ride inland with us. It is not safe on the road alone. And,” Uhtred spoke aside to his men, “then at least if she lies she will be under our control.”

Cwen was taken aback when Eadith spat back at Uhtred, “I am sick of being controlled.”

Perhaps her brother has not made her life easy either, Cwen thought to herself. She was keenly aware of how Eardwulf exerted control and power.  

Cwen took a shuddering breath and refocused her attention on the conversation. 

She did not notice Sihtric glance at her from across his saddle. 

“Cwen, you know Aethelflaed well.  I am of one mind, but would hear your thoughts,” Uhtred asked.

Cwen looked askance at Eadith before giving her answer.

“The sooner we can get mother and daughter reunited the better.  We both know that Aldhelm would do this for Aethelflaed.  And my instinct tells me Eadith speaks the truth.” 

“Lord,” Finan interjected, “We should not do this.  If she found us, so can they.”

Uhtred thinks on Cwen and Finan’s words for a moment.

Raising his head to meet Eadith’s eyes once more, “Are you good with children?”

“Not really.” She replied.

“Good, neither are we. Well except for Cwen here,” Uhtred inclined his head to indicate Cwen.

“We go back,” he said with finality.

Rather than travel alone, the lady Eadith joined their caravan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later found the companions ambling along a wooded path.  Ealfwin was resting in the cart while Aethelstan and Uhtred’s children shared pieces of stale bread. 

Sihtric dropped back from riding next to Finan to be beside Cwen. 

“Do you need some bread, lady?” He offered. 

“I am no lady, Sihtric. Must I always remind you of that?” Cwen smiled over to Sihtric good naturedly. It had become a game now between them. 

Sihtric chuckled lightly, “take some bread, Cwen.”

“I will, thank you,” Cwen said while reaching for the stale lump he offered. 

“Be careful, Cwen,” Osferth interjected. “That bread will crack a tooth. Best to let it sit in your mouth for a bit before you chew it.”

The three laughed lightly at his jest and then settled into a comfortable silence. 

Cwen enjoyed the forest. She tipped her head up to gaze at the sun breaking through the branches overhead. She allowed herself a large inhale of the musty, earthy aroma then slowly exhaled. 

“You seem at peace in the forest.” Sihtric commented and Cwen turned her face towards him. He sees me, she thought to herself. 

“Your breathing wasn’t so calm on the road.” He spoke the last while turning to face her gaze. 

“You noticed that?” Cwen asked. 

When Sihtric did not answer, “something in our conversation in the road gave me pause. Brought back memories.” Cwen glanced ahead at Eadith. 

Then she added, “and I admit I am anxious about our plan. There are so many unknowns. And I wish Aethelflaed to be alright. And for Ealfwin to be reunited with her mother.”

Sihtric could tell that Cwen was breezing over her demeanor on the road.  Whether it was an effort to avoid talking about it, he did not know.

“I have always found peace in forests.” He offered.

Cwen met Sihtric’s eyes at his admission. She gave him one of those small grins that he loved. 

Sihtric found himself looking for her smiles more and more. 

He had lain awake the previous night after the rest of the camp had fallen asleep thinking about the gentle curves of her lips. He could have drifted to sleep easily imagining her grins directed at him. 

But he couldn’t help replaying their conversation from upstairs at the estate. The knowledge that someone had threatened her, maybe forced themselves on her made his entire body seethe with rage. 

He could stand the horrors of battle and the violence that he faced against enemies in the services of his Lord.  Even if it were women like Skade or Brida.  They chose their paths. Brida was an equal on the battlefield.  Skade played dangerous games and she knew full well that she was playing them. 

But Sihtric could not abide harm to innocents.  Saxon or Dane.  He had witnessed too much in his service to Kjartan.  He did not call the man his father.  He was his mother’s son.  And he knew too well that it was the same violence and violation that Kjartan forced upon his mother that now Sihtric worried had been forced upon Cwen.

He had wiped his hand across his face in frustration and sat up looking for her.  

Across the fire, nestled next to Ealfwin and Aethelstan, Cwen was sleeping.  They were safe for the moment. She was safe. 

Sihtric had risen and relieved Finan of his watch. If he wasn’t able to sleep he may as well let his Irish brother rest. 

A sudden yell and flurry of activity at the rear of the cart brought Sihtric back to the present. 

“Stay near the children,” he ordered Cwen as they both turned their horses to see vagrants trying to steal bread from Stiorra. 

Quick as lightning, Uhtred was by his daughter and the would-be thieves ran towards the front of the cart. 

At almost the same instance, another man appeared hollering that the road was closed. Having gained control of the situation, Finan and Sihtric dismounted to approach the macabre scene blocking the path.

Cwen dismounted her horse to climb onto the cart and check on Ealfwin. 

“It is alright, little bird. They will not let anyone harm you,” she cooed while grasping the young girl's hand. “Nor you, Aethelstan.  These people appear to just be hungry. It is alright.  I am going to see how we will proceed with the road being closed.” 

Cwen waited to see both children nod, then dismounted the cart.

It was then that she heard Finan shout in a panic, “It’s the sickness.  They’re dying of the sickness.”

The next few minutes were a blur of chaos as Finan tried to clean Stiorra’s arm where the brigands had touched her and Uhtred attempted to soothe the warrior.

Cwen stepped up to stand beside Sihtric as he cleaned off his blade.  

“It was a kindness,” he tells her.

Cwen looked down to his bloody knife and then glanced over his shoulder to see the grim display in the road and she understood.

“It was,” she confirms for him.

Then her attention shifted back to hear Uhtred discuss leaving the horses and traveling through the woods.

“The children will not make it on foot,” Sihtric says.  His words were quiet to not alarm anyone.

“Then we find somewhere safe for them,” but Finan’s words are cut off when both Uhtred and Cwen protest.

“We will not leave them behind.”

“They are stronger than you imagine,” Cwen argued. “They are both used to plans changing and to adapting by now.”

“We know that, Cwen,” Uhtred tried to soothe her. “But it will be hard and we do not know what obstacles we may face.  It can be difficult to defend those you hold dear out in the open, no shelter, no place to hide.”

Cwen takes a breath before speaking again. She looks at Finan, Uhtred, and Sihtric in turn.  

Sihtric interrupts her before she can speak again, “I did not mean that the children are not strong and capable.”

“I know Sihtric. But what choice do we actually have now?” She asks, shifting her gaze to rest on Uhtred.

“Cwen is right.  We must continue on foot and through the land to avoid the roads and bad air. It will be alright Finan, we will be safe from the sickness.  And we have no other choice.” Uhtred’s words soothe the big man.  

Both Cwen and Eadith, who had remained quiet during the whole exchange, recognize that the men have faith in their lord.   The two women exchange a glance before Eadith dismounts her horse and they gather their supplies to continue on foot.

“It seems these men have truly found a good lord in Uhtred.  I can see their faith in him,” Eadith comments to Cwen as they are helping the children down off the cart.

Cwen regards her for a moment before replying, “He is a man that other’s trust to follow.  I have known him since I was a child and he has always inspired the trust of others.”

“What a strange thing to find myself in this company,” Eadith then says, more to herself than to Cwen.

“I know you are not used to the company of good men.” Cwen speaks matter of factly without waiting for a response or looking for a reaction. “And these are good men.  All of them.” Cwen finishes the last words while looking across the back of the cart to see Sihtric taking his packs off his horse.  She doesn’t look to Eadith as she walks away to gather Ealfwin and Aethelstan.

And then the companions begin their trek on foot to reach Wenloca.  

Tag list: @morosemagick @maggiescarborough @pokeasleepingsmaug @nxrdist @mystic-shadows42 @emilyhufflepufftlk @magravenwrites @lauwrite1225 @thebohemianpenguin @mrsalwayswrite @notyourwildestdream @obipoelover

[blacksmokehorizons]

Something In Common

Summary: Spending decades under HYDRA’s control can fuck someone up in many ways. Somehow you managed to escape and live under the radar for a while. That is until your friend Sharon Carter has some old ‘friends’ show up. || 1,397 words

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Mentions of torture and traumatic memories

A/N: This is re-posted since I moved blogs! Again this is my first piece of writing so bear with me as I find a format I like to write in. I’ve read this 100 times and don’t wanna re-read it anymore so I apologize for any errors. || Please don’t copy/rewrite my work! I also don’t want anything reuploaded onto different cites, etc. || This gif isn’t mine, the reupload messed it up

Sharon said she wouldn’t be gone long, after all she had a party to throw. Well, clients to meet with, technically but that didn’t stop you from calling her ‘sorority sister Sharon’ and nicknaming your shared house ‘Sigma Kappa Madripoor’. You found your jokes hilarious, Sharon had grown to tolerate them after a while.

You had just changed into your outfit when your phone buzzed. It was a message from Sharon, ‘Bringing some early company.’ You chuckled to yourself as you responded, ‘You made some friends while you were out? Proud of you.’ It had taken you some time to finally get comfortable with people and be back in the real world. But Sharon didn’t seem to mind helping you, even after learning your past.

Finally you heard voices and footsteps, you were perched on the arm of the couch when she opened the door, followed by 3 men you’ve never met. She nodded at you as she spoke, moving racks of clothes towards them.

“So you gonna introduce me to your friends or is this a hookup of yours?” you asked snickering as she made a gagging noise while two of the men softly chuckled.

“God no. Y/N this is Sam, Bucky, and Zemo. Boys this is Y/N.” Sharon said motioning from you to them.

You and the man named Bucky had stared at each other for a moment before you distracted yourself with your phone. You tuned out the conversation for a bit, stealing glances at the visitors feeling a bit out of place.

“Why does your name sound familiar?” you asked, the question tumbling out of your mouth as you stared at Bucky.

“Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers best friend, any of that ring a bell for you?” Sharon asked as you shifted to sink into the couch. “You guys should be able to get along the easiest, considering you share a nearly identical past.” she continued moving around the room.

“The hell does that mean?” Bucky asked looking from you to Sharon, while you stuck out your middle finger at her.

“You both got to play the role of HYDRA’s puppet for quite some time.” was all Sharon said, leaving you to continue. Suddenly you could feel all the eyes in the room burning through you, Zemo was the first to speak.

“Does she mean you were-”

“Given the special super soldier juice and forced to do some of the dirty work? Yes.” you replied flatly staring at Zemo before looking over at Sharon, “That didn’t really need to be brought up.”

“Hey, you asked why he sounded familiar.”

The room was silent for a bit, Bucky's eyes not leaving you for a second. You sighed and just shrugged your shoulders, “I can feel the game of 20 questions coming on so let’s get it going before the party.” cracking your neck as you spoke.

“So they used you as another super soldier?” Zemo asked, shifting to lean more towards you.

“Yes and no. I was used as a last resort. I was… more of a… test subject in most cases.” swallowing the knot that was trying to form in your throat. Hoping nobody else in the room noticed how you shifted, squirmed almost, as you spoke. You didn’t have a problem with talking about your past, it’s just some memories were more painful than others.

“I can fight the same way any super soldier can, but they always wanted to see how far the serum would go in terms of healing. So that’s what my role was,” you chuckled a bit before continuing, “The only thing they didn’t do to me was put a bullet in my skull.”

Once again the room became quiet, until Sharon spoke changing the subject for a moment as you got lost in thought. You were thankful people started arriving so you could be alone for a bit, it was easy for you to disappear into a crowd.

“If you somehow can’t blend in for shit tonight, stay near Y/N.” Sharon said, slipping her phone into her pocket. “What exactly will staying near her do?” Sam asked mumbling a ‘no offense’ quickly after causing you to laugh.

“I’m good at hiding in plain sight, so if you’re near me I’ll make sure you don’t get your ass kicked. Gotta remember this isn’t your homeland buddy.” you snickered as you adjusted your maroon turtleneck before you walked to the main room welcoming guests in and pointing a few in Sharon's direction as she entered. Relief flooded your veins as the crowd grew and you could finally slip into the background and breathe.

You didn’t mind being in a room full of people, but your mind has been replaying memories of your time under HYDRA’s control since you spoke earlier.

You cringed as you sipped your drink, your eyes scanned the room locating Zemo and Sam but not Bucky. You moved along the wall slipping past a few dancers, deciding to lean against a corner of the room. As you attempted to locate Bucky your mind began to wander.

You screamed and kicked at the person who had begun slicing your arm with a scalpel. Another attempted to get near you and this time you managed to kick their knee, hearing a crunch as they fell to the ground. Soon you had guns aimed at you and a man spoke, “We go through this all the time. You know your purpose here, so why do you continue to fight? I would hate to have you killed.’ his gravelly tone making you want to sink into the floor. As your legs were strapped to the chair he spoke again, “After she’s done here freeze her as normal.”

Again you screamed as your skin was peeled back and muscles were prodded, but you didn’t fight. You knew your purpose-

“You were right about hiding in plain sight, but you’ll have to try a little harder to hide from me.” Bucky spoke next to you, causing you to jump and your thoughts to come to a halt. Turning your head you chuckled and tried to mask what you just re-lived in your head.

“I have to say, you hide better than me. Found your friends but I couldn’t seem to find you.” your mouth cracking into a smile as you spoke. Neither of you spoke for a bit, just watched the room together making sure the others stayed out of trouble. The silence was oddly comfortable, with the occasional joke about someone's outfit. At one point you could feel Bucky's eyes on you for a while.

“Hydra didn’t give me mind reading powers so you’re gonna have to communicate with words.” turning your head to face Bucky as you spoke, chuckling as he scrambled for a comeback. He scratched the back of his neck trying to spit out his sentence, which you already had an idea as to what he was going to bring up. An amused smile on your face as you watched his metal hand shine in the flashing lights.

“What you said earlier… about Hydra-”

“You can ask questions if you want. You might understand what I say a little more anyway.” You said pressing your lips together in a thin line before adjusting your posture as you leaned more into the wall and looked to the crowd.

“I would ask… but I know what being under that control is like. As well as the memories that come with it,” you glanced over at Bucky as he stopped talking and he was watching his vibranium hand move. “I’m sorry you had to become a part of all that Y/N.” he said softly, but loud enough for you to catch.

When your eyes met you can’t help but feel they mirrored each other's pain… or maybe it was sadness? Not that it would make much of a difference.

“I’m sorry you had to become part of it as well Bucky.” a sad smile taking over your face.

You had unconsciously moved closer to him, not saying much more but not leaving each other's side. The signal from Sharon came and you sighed before nudging Bucky's arm.

“Guess we better go see what she wants huh?” stretching as you kicked off the wall.

“I guess so.” Bucky chuckled trailing behind you as you walked away.

[everafterkeiji]

Song: La La Lost You by Niki

Summary: With him being the pro hero he is, time slips away while distance grows.

Pairings: Katsuki Bakugo x fem! reader

Word count: 4.8k

Warning: angst, cursing

Quirk: You can read minds and portray them in real life. Example: If they thought about a gun, you create the image of the gun and use the gun. Same goes for you, if you think about a bomb, a bomb is already in your hands ready to use.

Symbols: Italic= flashbacks

A/n: can you pls let me know if you'd like a part 2 fnejdn

While I'm on Sunset, are you on the subway?

While I drive, are you gettin' on the L-train?

Bakugo can feel the longing in his heart as he watches a couple pick out engagement rings. His fists tighten at the sight as he feels an ache in his heart while he longs for an embrace his body misses, a body he missed to cherished, pair of lips he missed to place upon his. He lowers his head as he does his nightly patrols. Winter coming in closer than he realized, another year passing by. He thought he wanted this year to end as fast as it could yet here he is, sorrow and regret on his shoulders. Half of his heart gone, nearly falling apart as he stares at every happy couple his eyes fall upon. Even if his fans came to him, no matter how loud the praises and compliments were thrown at him, he felt nothing.

All he wanted to feel was her.

He wanted to feel how warm she was pressed against him, he wanted to feel her lips on his once again, he wanted to hear her voice again. Not the voice he last heard that was full of sadness but the voice he loved to listen to whenever he had his nightmares, his insecure nights. The softness in her tone, the way every laugh of hers would sound ethereal to him, the feist in her words whenever they had their battles. Now all those sounds seem to grow deaf to him. It's been a year, a year without her. A rather long year for him. Everyday he had to wake up to a cold bed, no arms wrapped around him, no view for him to enjoy when he opens his eyes. The way your moments were held in the walls surrounding him, every milestone of your relationship cherished in one household. He felt as if it was mocking him, making him remember the happiness your relationship brought him.

Hope that eases the pain

So you remember to miss me

Before, your house was filled with pictures of you two. Now it was empty, a house for one man when it was supposed to be a house for his ever after with her. Where was his savior? Where are the soft melodies she'd sing to him whenever he had his insecurities drag him down? All these moments he can only replay in his mind.

As he opens the door, he remembers the smile that falls on his lips no matter how exhausted he was, ready to see his girlfriend safe and sound in their own house. He'd catch her asleep on the couch with her favorite blanket cuddled up to a stuff toy he won her in a game.

He lets out a tired sigh before stepping in the shower. He closes his eyes, trying to surpass the way his eyes wanted to shed tears at the sight of her without his side. The more he tries to ignore it, the farther she gets from his view. He only remembers the way he raised his voice at her, the tears that ran down her cheek. The hurtful things that left his mouth, he never meant to say.

Unsaid things only to be said to a wall as his chances were slimming down as time passes. The words he wanted to say only being said when he was intoxicated but the person he badly wanted to say it to wasn't there to listen.

Does the trick for all of the things left unsaid

He didn't dare to face his friends, knowing questions and reactions are the only things he's gonna get from them. They'd be the ones to mention your name when they notice your disappearance. Kirishima knows about the split and has made many attempts to get the blonde back on his feet like he used to but every attempt would just end in bottles on the floor and carrying Bakugos intoxicated body back in your old couch.

Kirishimas heart wanted to cry for him.

Whenever your name was mentioned in missions or groups, he'd noticed the sadness that sets in his eyes and expression while he tries to hide it by being his aggressive self. Even as his best friend, there's nothing that he could do when the only solution to Bakugos heart was you.

You tried to ignore the fact that every night for a year you drowned out your emotions by overworking yourself and thinking that by being surrounded by lights and alcohol brought you contentment while you had no clue of what your other half was doing. Like him, you craved nothing more than to be with him.

Some have tried to contact you, you tried to sound believable as possible. Trying to sound like the boy you love was still around you pulling pranks behind you or him randomly wrapping his arms around you.

But you're on the other side of the country.

An offer you couldn't possibly lose, not even letting him know where you were. Him only knowing when the news had caught you fighting off villains in a city he can't just run to when he missed you. You knew that distance never fixed anything but at this point is there anything to be fixed? When laid out in front of you two are broken pieces of your own hearts. Scatted in cities where he remembers you by, scattered in his clothes that fit like a dress on you, scattered in streets making a path for you two to retrace your steps and fix what's happened. Hanging onto memories day by day. Trying to grasp a reality that was too good to be true.

All my demons have your smile

Unlike him, your surroundings were new.

Everything was new. You weren't stuck to suffer in the place where your love blossomed, the new environment insisting you to change but the way you saw couples and kids ticked you off to the very least.

December hasn't been this cold than you remember it. You shed a tear or two whenever you overheard one of the heroes ramble on how excited she was that she was engaged. It would've been 6 years with him by next month and a ring should've been placed in your very hands by now knowing the shared conversations you two had about marriage.

Saddened by the thought of it, you head home changing out of your hero clothes. You sat in the train, your exhaustion getting the best of you as you opened your eyes to see Bakugo sitting in front of you but as you blink he was gone. As the train goes under a tunnel, you look at the window as your memories play like some movie scene. You turn to look at the couples that surrounded you and your mind betrays you thinking of a girl that can make Bakugo happy like you did.

The darkness of the train enabled you to cry. You covered your face in your hands as you let out a sob. As a hero you couldn't care if people saw you like this, everyone had a breaking point. You've had enough of today. You continue to cry as you tighten the grip on your sweater and on the necklace that you wore.

"Who knew you could do things like this?" You teased as he taps your nose. You were set on his lap as he brings out a box. His hand caresses your cheek as he looks at you with love, love and nothing more.

"Shut it, dumbass. Now turn around." You rolled your eyes as you turned around, your back facing his chest. He sits up properly, gently moving your h/c aside as a cold piece of jewelry was placed around your neck. Once it was attached, Bakugo pressed light kisses on your shoulder as he whispers for you to face him. When you did, he smiled.

"You look amazing, Y/N." He says with pink painted cheeks. You blushed at his words your hand playing with the necklace.

"What's this for, Katsuki?" You asked as you intertwined your hands with his. He kisses the back of your hand as he looks at you.

"So you'll always have me."

As you wipe your tears, you felt a buzz in the pocket of your jeans. Picking it up the name "kiri<3" flashes before you. Sniffling a bit, you decided to answer.

"Kirishima? Is everything okay?"

Meanwhile on the other line, Bakugos breath hitched at the sound of you. It was another night where he dragged Kirishima to another bar and drown his feelings. He begged Kirishima to dial your number, just to hear it even if it wasn't meant for him.

"Hey Y/N! Sorry if I called a little later than expected, you doing okay? This is really random and unmanly-"

"Kiri it's fine! I'm fine yeah just heading home. How are you by the way?" Bakugo stays silent as he hears your voice. He missed it so much. He hadn't felt this desperate since you left.

"Well I'm doing fine too, Y/N. Guess I kinda just miss my partner in crime." You smiled at his words, finally feeling relieved after your session of crying.

"I miss you too, Eiji. How-"

"Y/N!" A familiar voice suddenly rushing to your ears as you sit up. It's him. Bakugo tries to steal the phone from Kirishima but Kirishima won't give it to him, thinking it was wrong for Bakugo to talk to you in a state like this.

"Bakugo-" The call ends before you can even say anything else. Kirishima sighs as Bakugo notices the call has ended.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR SHIT HEAD?!"

"WHY CAN'T YOU CALL HER ON YOUR OWN, BAKUGO!" Kirishima shouts. Bakugo is taken aback by his sudden burst of words. Bakugo stays silent as Kirishima puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

"If you love her why don't you call her yourself? Make some fucking plans with her, talk it out. You're suffering because you're weak enough to reach out to her. This would've been simple from the beginning when you actually had the balls to talk to her and apologize!"

"If you feels so shitty about Y/N leaving, we're her friends too you know. We also lost her. I always have your back Bakugo, but this time this is your problem." Kirishima leaves your apartment with a sigh of defeat as he glides over your phone number, texting a sorry before he went home. Bakugo had his head hung low, taking in every word he heard.

He's right. He thought.

You had a hand placed on your heart when you heard him. You figured that it didn't end well for Kirishima when the call ended. Your screen flashes before reading the message.

kiri<3: I'm really sorry about that Y/N, but I do miss you. we all do. especially bakugo.

When you were home, your hand traces over the blocked contact of your other half. You smile as you reread your past conversations. But as you hug your pillow shutting the device off, you felt your eyes close remembering the warmth you used to have when he slept beside you.

He came home from a patrol, promising to save as many as he can but ended up saving only half of what he intended to. The cries of people ringing in his ears. He felt low, unworthy, selfish, weak. He couldn't save them, he could've been better. Now he realizes the fear that grows on him that he can't always save you.

"What the fuck did you say, Katsuki?! You don't get to say shit like I'm not a hero like you! We're both fucking exhausted. I'm asking you for one, one day." You shout.

He wasn't as strong as you. He utters words that mean the complete opposite of what he wanted to say, even denying love when he first experienced it. So scared of feeling emotions since the only thing he relied on was himself. He is strong in battles, the thrill giving him life, excitement. This is what he wanted. To live the life of his idols, to surpass them and show them he meant every word when said he wanted to be #1. What he didn't want was a girl who held his heart with strings. Playing with his emotions, discovering the branches of love. Discovering how his world changed when he fell for the girl he could never reach. He didn't want his heart to be fragile. He wanted it to be tough and unbreakable, a barrier around it where no one can see through his sharp demeanor. But there she was. Breaking every barrier with ease. In this moment, his heart made barriers once again.

"I fucking meant it when I said I don't have any time to be with you anymore. I need to work, Y/N! Why cant you get that through your fucking skull" He shouts back, a finger to your forehead pushing you back. Your cheeks were from the anger that sprung to your spirits. Every part of you was aching with anger. Tears spilling from your eyes as he watches you.

"That's all you ever fucking do Katsuki! Do you just purposely forget that I also work hard and here I am asking for one night with my boyfriend and you're pushing me aside like I'm nothing to you!"

"Nothing?! Maybe you just don't fucking understand what I'm saying! I have my own shit to deal with and I can't always drop everything for your needy ass. Do you need me to pat you on the back for being a good hero? You shouldn't even call yourself a hero when I'm the reason you even made it this far, princess." You closed your eyes as your hands turned white from how much you were tightening them.

Y/N, don't believe it. Please. I'm begging you-

"OF COURSE YOU GOT ME HERE! Call me anything you want. Weak, laid back, unworthy, low, insecure, stupid, worthless, have at it but I'm fucking drowning in my own stress, shitty paper work and patrols. I am a hero. You don't get to fucking remove that title from me. While you got me here, you're forgetting all the shit I did for you!"

"The things you did for me? What, like love? That's nothing to me."

Love.

All the smiles you've given him. The moments where you made him realize that if he wasn't the #1 hero, the only thing that mattered him was you. The memories of you with your head on his shoulder enjoying the sunset while he talks about how much he loves you. The feeling of his hands intertwining with yours as you danced in your living room. The moment where he said he'd catch you no matter what. The moments where you would wake up to his kisses on your face. The feeling when you see him safe and sound as you hug him enjoying life when his love surrounded you. The feeling when you imagined yourself marrying the perfect man for you.The promises. Future plans. The kisses. Never ending hugs. 5 years with the person who made you the happiest, who made you determined, who made you feel like you can conquer anything, who made you believe in love even in the toughest ways.

It was all nothing.

You bite your lip as your head hung low. He hears your sobs and it wasn't enough for him to wake up from all this anger. He needed you just as much as you did, but in this moment he didn't realize it. He thought he needed a break, some silence to drown out the cries of the people he had left behind but now he can only hear his heart shattering. Piece by piece. Torn. With every word he says. With every glance he gives you, seeing you so hurt because of him. He bared no meaning to his words and he hopes you can see that he too needed saving but he notices the drop in your tone. Dull eyes, tear stained cheeks, unsteady breathing.

"I just w-wanted to be with you.. t-to be saved. To be saved from this asshole of a man claiming he loves but me pushes me away like dirt. A man who tells me an empty promise of always being there to catch me. Katsuki, was it all really nothing y-you?" He bites his lip before taking a step forward but you step back, life drained out of you. Every color saturated to liveliness was nothing but black and white now. Storms and heavy weather. Tears and broken hearts.

I can't do this.

"I just can't save you anymore." He whispers but you heard it clear as day. You let out the most painful sob as your knees give in, a thud to the floor as you cover your face in your hands. Now the fear in his head of him never saving you, he only faces the truth that he can't save everyone, even you. Your sobs echoed through the house as he turns around to wipe away his tears, a hand to his pained chest. As his back was turned to you, you left to go to your room. He notices your disappearance as he only sits on the couch, knowing the events that were to happen next. You grabbed a bag stuffing in whatever you could as you continued to release your sorrows. When you were finished you took a last good look on your room. The room where every nightmare was comforted with love, the room where secrets were shared, deep fears, everything. You take a deep breath before opening the door. You see him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

-

You both wake up with tears in your eyes as your head weighed a ton, making you grip your pillow with such force, completely unhappy you were greeted this way. You looked up at the mirror to see bags under your eyes, puff cheeks, and a version of you that you despised to see everyday.

Not a single glow of happiness.

You weren't ready to face another tiresome day at the agency but your limbs forced you to knowing it'd be another patrol then by the night some paperwork and then patrolling once again. His words replayed in your mind, still affecting you with how he belittled you as a hero. Sure, you couldn't save millions but you saved hundreds, even if you were on brim of your quirk affecting your mental state, you would still save thousands.

And it pains you that he doesn't even notice how your quirk affects your mental being.

It takes immense focus for you to portray what you needed, and it requires you to be sharp and quick with your mind. Yet, overusing it alters the reality you wanted. Your mind playing a sick game to your overall being, stuck in the darkest part of your mind, leading you the same night that started it all.

But he still wouldn't save you.

-

Bakugo had his vermilion eyes on the road, as the others discussed on the upcoming mission. He didn't even bother to pay interest on where they were going, more focused on fighting with the villain and finishing the job.

Maybe it was the hundredth time today where he thought about you.

He looks at the beautiful scenery in front of him, and his mind leads him to remember your smile and your features he loved to gaze his eyes on. Now, villains and explosions were the only things that clouded his vision or sometimes the sight of his companions, which didn't really help him.

Then the vehicle comes to a stop, his eyes landing on a store. Seen through the glass was a beautiful dress, painted in her favorite color, with the perfect length and dainty design. He smiles to himself, visualizing how stunning she'd look wearing it, especially seeing her skin looking so bright and healthy under the winter atmosphere.

She'd love that. He says to himself, feeling bittersweet that he wanted to buy it, but who would even wear it? He can't just give it to her without having a conversation. Even if it's been nearly a year, how can he prepare for something he avoided?

He steps out of the vehicle, feeling exhausted thinking about her. He hears his companions talk about splitting up so each hero wouldn't be suspected, he agrees with them, not even bothering to give them a snarky comment. He was too occupied with the thought of you in that splendid dress.

He wonders around the city, hands to his pockets. Especially in his hero costume, he received so many stares from the people. He'd either glare back at them or ignore them completely, but this time he just let them stare for as long as they liked. The only pair of eyes he wanted to land on him was yours, your ever stunning ones.

He remembers the moments where the sun beamed perfectly on your eyes, depicting the color with such grace and beauty. He remembers every memory where your eyes were gateways to your emotions, filled with such genuine and love. It even helped him at times where words weren't needed to express the way he felt. He loved how you managed to read him so easily, like a book she's memorized every page of. Even the slightest change in his tone, you were able to pick it up and soon interrogate him if he was okay.

He watches a couple who had boxes in their hands with smiles evident in their eyes and lips. He watches as the man gestures to help the girl but she declines walking ahead of him, he follows behind the girl making sure the boxes wouldn't fall.

"Katsuki stop!" She shouts with a giggle, he ignores her completely, pushing her slightly to make the boxes fall. She completely looses balance as the boxs fall on the floor. She gasps as she runs to punish the blonde as he quickly puts down the boxes as he runs away from her. You can hear her screaming profanities at the man as the couple runs around outside their house.

Bakugo hides from her, eyeing her from his secret spot. He takes the opportunity when he sees her completely confused he was gone, so he takes you by surprise by slinging you over his shoulders, chuckling at how she threw mild punches at his back.

"Babe! How are we gonna finish moving in our stuff!" She says with a laugh, still trying to beg for him to put her down. He spins around making her laugh even more as he sets her on the ground. The sun beams down on them, her eyes glowing so beautifully under the golden light. His hand reaches her cheeks, squishing it lightly as he smiles at her expression.

"Who said we even needed to finish it today? C'mon. We have the house all to ourselves." Katsuki says, as you sighed giving into him. He smirks to himself as he lifted you off the ground once again, swinging you over his shoulders too easily.

"Baby!"

His eyes wander elsewhere, feeling his chest tightening once again at the memories that resurface upon him.

After a long fight with a villain who kept scarring you with their weapon, your mind was completely going to collapse at any minute. You've been creating bullets and barriers for so long you didn't notice how other objects that you didn't need were suddenly made, dropping behind you. You can feel the throbbing pain of your head as you limped to the town. Random objects still were popping up every minute and it annoyed you how your quirk was out of your grasp.

(TW! Hallucination/Panic attack)

You simply wanted water and some first aid kit to make sure you make it to your agency but when you imagined the bottle of water, you immediately acted like it was created but it wasn't. All the things that you thought you made weren't there and you felt your eyes feel droopy as you let your hand hold onto the wall for support. It was starting to alter your reality, making it worse for you to think straight while your thoughts were all tied in loops from overusing it. Your vision blurring at the sight of people who were walking by.

Your mind was growing more and more explosive as you felt pain surround your head. You let out a scream as you felt every part of your head ache as unnecessary objects were still appearing beside you. This scream alerts the people but they chose not to gather around you, unsure what was happening. They were all muttering questions but this only added to the problem as you started panting, harshly closing your eyes trying to avoid any eye contact from them. You heard a loud shout before your mind completely goes blank, feeling like you were shot. It happened all too fast as you fall to your knees, mind empty and damaged, your system completely failing to support you as a person was seen pushing through the sea of people.

Then, their eyes met.

[yoonia]

About Time // Part 19

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words | Angst, Fluff, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), Eventual Smut / 13,5k words

↳ Prompts | “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary | Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Ratings | Mature/+18 and up

↳ Warnings | this chapter contains multiple smut scenes: involving public sex, first time sex, thigh riding, explicit scene of sexual intercourse and intense foreplay (finger fucking, f receiving), mentions of cancer, (probably) inaccurate medical and law terms

↳ Author’s Note | If you find a few scenes within this chapter that seem a bit familiar, perhaps it’s because you have read it before in a different form. The final scene for this chapter was taken from a short drabble that I created during a muse game for this story, with a few adjustments on the scene itself to make it seem more fitting into the timeline. I do hope you’ll enjoy this one. I know there are lots of you who have been waiting for this moment to come :) 

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Series Index: About Time | Next Chapter ⇢

Song Companion | Live - Lightning Crashes

—Present life, year 2017—

Jimin had become silent ever since the two of us left the pub. But my mind had never been so loud as it was at the moment and it had been this way since I stepped out of that place, leaving behind the memory of his altercations with Jungkook earlier.

Questions after questions kept coming while the events and pieces of the conversation they shared back at the pub continued to replay themselves inside my head.

While Jimin kept his eyes locked on the road, his posture was tense and his grip on the wheel remained hard and tight that I could see his knuckles turning white. I could even begin to faintly hear the sound of its leather cover cracking and pulling beneath his palms. Yet I kept quiet beside him, letting my mind wander as I had my eyes looking away and out the window. I had no idea what to say to him or how to react, while at the same time, I was trying to ignore the way his tension and rage kept rolling out of him in waves as he drove us further and further away from the pub.

Between being afraid that any word I said would come out with accusations, or perhaps being called crazy if I should talk to him about my predicament or to hurt him if I admitted to him why I kept being pulled to Jungkook for some reason, I decided to give him some time and space to calm down. Hoping that maybe once he did, he would be able to talk about it and I would be able to question him.

The silence thickened as each second ticked by, until a deep sigh came out of him, breaking the stillness that had grown between us.

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly said to me. His voice was soft, and I could feel his remorse lathering every word he said that I could not help but to turn to look at him.

“Sorry? What for?”

He gave me a rueful smile as he glanced my way, briefly, before looking back on the road. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. I shouldn’t have let him rile me up the way he did.” He sighed. “I must have ruined the mood for tonight.”

I opened my mouth, ready to argue and try to make him feel better. But I held my tongue, knowing that the words might come out wrong and I would probably be pushing his guilt further instead of urging him to move on.

Shaking my head, I told him all that I could say at the moment. “It’s—whatever. It’s fine,” I said, even though there was a huge part of me that begged to understand. But must this night be filled with wondering and analysing things?

Did I really want to know the answers?

Did I really want to know what those words meant? The words Jungkook said which had brought out dizziness that silenced everything running through my head at the point of hearing it?

I may have said that it didn’t matter, but my mind betrayed me by voicing out the questions once again.

Why would he say something like that? Why did they seem to hate each other? Have they met before aside from the night I introduced them together? Or did they know each other before?

Thankfully, neither of those questions had ever slipped my mouth. It was close enough to, but his soft chuckled came out before I could speak and it was enough to silence the voices in my head. Especially when this time, the small smile he was giving me finally reached his eyes even if I could still see his remorse coming out clearer in them. “I promise. I’m not always like this,” he said. He took a hand off of the wheel and rubbed his palm over his face.

My chest tightened when I saw the distress on his face, and the words just came spilling right out of me before ie realised it.

“I know you’re not.”

His eyes grew wide at my words and his gaze came back to me before his smile returned a bit wider. And he was giving me the one smile that was familiar to my eyes, one that was honest and free. The same exact smile that had me falling in love with him in a different lifetime. With its presence, my heart clenched tight the same exact way it did the first time I fell for him. It felt stricken with longing and despair, while at the same time, it was making me feel warm inside.

“And how would you know that?” he asked me.

While there were lots of different answers that I could choose from, one of them being something which could reveal the secrets that I had been keeping away from him, I held my tongue once again. Keeping things to myself before I could ruin this moment.

But I didn’t hold back from reaching out. I rested my hand on his thigh as I whispered with a sigh, “Because I know you, Jimin.”

I felt his body growing tense under my touch for a brief moment, before he easily softened into my touch. So I carried on, telling him what I needed him to hear. Something that according to my memory was the one thing that I had failed to say to him.

“I know that you are not a violent person or anyone who has any vile intentions,” I told him, while images of Jimin confronting Jungkook at the pub blended together with the sight of him fighting Jungkook at a hospital, something that had come into my dreams more than once. “Anyone else would snap when confronted and riled up the same way it did to you. I’m not putting the blame on anyone but the situation, but you had handled it really well.”

His shoulders fell down with relief and I felt lighter, glad to be able to somewhat reassure him and change the mood after he was feeling down ever since we left. Before I could pull my hand away, Jimin placed his hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you for believing in me.”

Laughing a little, I squeezed his hand in return and tried to lighten the mood further. “Now, I also believe that someone had promised me a good night.”

He chuckled without looking away from the road. Though his eyes glistened with a promise and hope in them. “That I did,” he hummed softly, taking my hand to his lips. He pressed a kiss on my wrist before letting me rest my palm on his thigh once again. “I’m taking you to a place that I know you would love. At least, I hope you would.”

“I trust you. As long as I’m with you, I know I’d be happy,” I told him truthfully, knowing that it was exactly how I felt whenever I was with him.

The conversation felt lighter once Jimin had gotten everything that was bothering him out of his chest.

As he continued to drive, we talked about how the whole day went—about his day in campus and his practice, about my job interview and the day I spent with his cousin—sans the part about my meeting with Taehyung since we avoided bringing up any event regarding the pub earlier once again.

The drive felt far and long. The night was getting late, yet I didn’t mind being out so late at all when he made me feel completely safe when I was with him. This trip reminded me of the night he took me out to the city park on new year’s eve, where he took me up to the hill overlooking the city. Except that I knew the destination we were heading tonight was going to be further away from the place where he first kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend.

It seemed like a long time ago when in fact only months had passed since then. It sure felt like I had been with Jimin for a lifetime when everything just seemed right when we were together.

I kept my hand resting on his lap as he drove on, letting him brush against it once or twice as we talked during the drive. The city passed by alongside us. We had somehow passed the main roads from the city and into the highway, and he kept on driving until the city lights became few and far in between, the buildings that had filled our view out the window were replaced by trees. Then he drove out of the highway, until we were surrounded by nothing but dirt and rock and the asphalt road slowly turned into gravel pathways with scrub bushes lining up on our sides.

“Where are we?” I asked him curiously as the terrain we were passing by turned rough, joined by a few bumps over ruts and ridges as we drove away from the main road and the path started to ascend to a higher altitude.

“Someplace quiet,” he simply said, giving me a secretive smile as the mirth in his eyes grew stronger.

I should be worried or concerned to find us driving to a strange place outside of town. But I only grew curious. The excitement came over me just as the road in front of us cleared out to an opening. The car had been driving further up until we reached to a certain plateau located right at the top of the rocky hills, way higher than the place he had once taken me to look over the cityscape. Way higher than any place that we had ever gone to. As Jimin slowed the car to a halt, I looked out to see the lines of trees and the edge of the cliff opening up to a broad sky over the horizon, the blanket of city lights covering the lower ground was nothing compared to the bright night sky above and the sparkling stars that seemed to welcome our presence.

“It’s not perfect or glorious, but I know that this is the place that you would love the most. A high place, quiet, where you could watch the wide sky above and the stars painting the sky—”

Before he could finish his sentence, I turned to him, finishing his words with a grateful smile and with my heart swelling in warmth, “—an open space where I could breathe the clean, fresh air.”

He turned to look at me. The warm gaze he was giving me spoke a thousand words. The questions were still there, hanging right at the tip of my tongue, but I brushed them away.

Enjoy the moment, I remembered Taehyung said. Enjoy the present. You will find your answers there.

“You were right. You knew exactly what I’d love.”

Jimin leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. His kiss was gentle but enough to bring forth the heat in my belly to want more. But he pulled back before I could have my fill, handing me a blanket to carry.

“Come. We haven’t seen the best part of it yet.”

My eyes grew wide. “We haven’t? You mean there’s more other than you taking me to a secluded place where you could hide me and nobody would find my body?”

Jimin’s head fell back as he laughed. “That sounds tempting, though you were right about this place being secluded,” he said, teasing me with another kiss that was gentle and chaste, letting me have a quick taste with a promise for more. “It’ll be nobody here but us.”

“I bet,” I whispered against his lips. I brushed my hands on the blanket he gave me, just as he reached for another that seemed thick enough for us to lay on top of. “Don’t tell me that we’re going to camp out.”

“Close, but not quite. I remember promising you dinner too,” he teased, giving me a wink before he reached out to the backseat, pulling a whole bag of groceries onto his lap, filled with snacks, chocolate bars, two bottles of mineral water, and best of all, microwave heated mini-market bought lunchboxes. “Our fancy dinner.”

I laughed and kissed him on his cheek. “Perfect.”

This side of the mountains would probably have been scorching hot under the sunlight if Jimin had taken me here during the daytime.

Tonight, however, the sky was clear enough to show all the bright stars overhead. The air was a bit cold and windy, but not so much that it would make me wish we were cuddled up inside his warm car instead of out here in the open air.

Jimin kept a tight hold of my hand as he led me tramping around the landed bushes, jumping over and around a few rocks that we came upon on our path, before we reached the embankment that Jimin had pointed out to when we first arrived in this place. Jimin climbed ahead and pulled me up with him. There was a flat rock on the top, wide enough for us to sit and lie down on, and safe enough to set out our small picnic without being afraid of getting too close to the edge.

This far high up, I could see the plateau over the edge, a wide flat space between hills and valleys, with sparkles of lights coming from the houses and small buildings located down there. I was filled with all nerves and anticipation, the joy of being up and above was mixed together with the fear of falling. But then I looked up at Jimin, and it made me feel all better knowing that we were here together. That he would be there by my side, ready to catch me before I could ever fall down.

We straightened the blanket on top of the flat rock and laid back, looking up at the sky above.

Being there under all of those stars made me feel small and insignificant, as if everything that I had to face and deal with, all the concerns I have had, they all meant nothing. Just a small blip in the universe. A mystery to unfold but never a necessity as we continued to exist.

As if being thrust back into the past had no significant value compared to everything else in this whole universe.

Being under the wide open space overlooking a small part of the universe really brought me to look at things in a new perspective, and suddenly, everything that Taehyung had told me finally made sense.

There was no point in dwelling in the past or the future that had been supposedly written for me or what I was trying to rewrite for myself. What mattered was now, this moment. I looked to my side to find Jimin lying on his side, looking at me. While it felt like I was the only person in the world when I looked up at the sky with all of my concerns weighing me down, looking at him made me feel less lonely. We could be the only two people in the world, and I found there was no need to change any of it all.

“You have that look again,” he mused softly, holding back a smile as he kept his eyes on me.

“What look?”

The smile broke through, and his eyes were filled with mirth when he answered, “The kind of look that tells me you are overanalysing things that are happening.”

I couldn’t help but return his smile, all while holding back from leaning in and kissing his plump lips the way I wanted to. “Do I make that look a lot?”

He merely shrugged. “Sometimes. I’d usually let you because I like seeing all the expression you make.”

There was an emotional tug happening inside my chest. I had gotten used to it at this point to know that it only happened whenever he was around. Whenever I was with him.

“Didn’t know that you’ve been pretty observant,” I could only muse as he grew closer. Our shoulders touching as he leaned in.

“It’s not hard,” he said. “All I had to do was pay attention. A lot of attention. And it’s easy to do that when I’m with you.” He licked his lips when he stopped talking, looking down on mine before meeting my gaze again. “You’re the only one I want to look at the whole time.”

Everything around us was dark, but for some reason, I could still see his face, as if the moonlight and all the stars above had served like multiple spotlights to illuminate him for me. He was probably seeing my face the same way, with limited lights helping him to find me. I could feel his warm breath before I noticed just how much closer he was.

“Will I miss if I try to kiss you right now?” he jokingly whispered to me when his lips were practically brushing against mine already.

I couldn’t help the laughter that came out so easily. “It is pretty dark around here,” I told him, whispering as I tried to reach out, finding his jaw with the tip of my fingers. The night did seem to grow darker at this point. Or perhaps it didn’t feel this way before when he weaved his way through the pathway, using only the flashlight from his phone to guide us. “Should I reach for the flashlight?”

He hummed. “There is no need,” he whispered, before pressing his lips at the tip of my nose. “I can always find you, even in the dark.” Then his lips finally found mine, and I welcomed him with a sigh as I sank down against him on top of the blanket.

His mouth felt like home. His kiss was warm, enough to help me forget about all of my concerns, all of the questions that had been circling in my head. None of them mattered anymore, when he was here, he was real, his hands moving gently up and down the curves and lines on my body over my soft sweater while he slowly pulled me to him, deepening the kiss in the process.

I was breathless when he pulled away, giving me a moment to take a deep breath and control my heartbeat. My palms had somehow found their way onto his chest, pressing down on where his heartbeat was pacing to the touch and the warmth we shared.

The wind blew across the valley, passing us both to remind us about the cool night air. So he pulled another blanket around us, covering us both from the chill autumn breeze. Only to have me grounded further later as he swiftly moved on top of me, his mouth making a trail of kisses from my lips, down to my jawline, then he slowed down as he traced the column of my throat.

His hand made its way to the hem of my sweater, tugging and pulling before he pulled it up so he could touch my bare belly beneath it. While his hand kept tracing upward, finding the elastic band of my bra, his lips continued tracing downward. He laid his head on my chest for a moment, closing his eyes as he listened to my heartbeat. He looked up to me after a moment and he kept his gaze on me when he pressed his lips on my covered breasts, capturing the covered tip between his mouth, releasing it when I sighed only to move to the other.

Weaving my fingers through the strands of his hair, I arched my back, giving him more as his hand slid in and tweaked a nipple from beneath my sweater. In a flashing moment, my sweater was gone, and nothing was getting in the way for him to finally taste my skin. I cried out as his fingers and his mouth worked together, pinching and biting, tuning my whole body as if he knew just which buttons to touch, to play with, to tweak, just to thrust me into the peak of my pleasure.

It didn’t take long before he brought me there, surges of bliss rushing all over my body, centered right at my core where the pulse felt the strongest, where the heat of my body pooled together into a puddle.

His eyes found me again when he brushed away the lacy front of my bra, pushing it down so he could reach more skin. My body was moving against his, my hips rolling in circles in the same rhythm as the pulse that kept rising between my legs. With my legs spread, I pressed my center against his thigh, searching for release by brushing myself against him and I could feel his muscles tensing against me as he pressed himself back to me for a short moment before he continued to move down. My fingers had somehow found their way back through his hair, where I clutched him tight, keeping him close to me at all times even as he was crawling down on me.

His lips spoke of promises and sin, and he revels in the sounds I was making to every bit of ministration he was giving me.

I felt it through his warm breath that came trailing down my skin as he continued climbing lower, his grunts coming out softly with each kiss he gave on my skin. His fingers kept dancing down my curves, as if he wanted to engrave every inch of my skin into his mind, even all the goosebumps that came out from the mixture of his warmth and the cold air around us.

He kissed his way down along my hip bone, his hands were getting busy to unbutton my jeans, freeing me further from any restraints. I lifted my hips when he tugged the waistband lower, only so that he could push my pants away. He swiftly moved his hand between my legs, delving into my panties, until he finally found the source of my pulsing heat.

His fingers danced their way down teasingly at my mound, before he found the cleft and gently spread them open for him, letting him touch me where I needed him the most. His fingers moved around the bundle of nerves hiding between my folds, circling around it until I could hear the slickness of my arousal as he gathered every drop with the tip of his fingers. Each gentle brush he gave sent fireworks through my body, the pleasure kept on rising more and more.

I cried out when he pushed a finger against the slick opening. His thumb pressing down on my throbbing clit as he inched deeper, pushing slowly through the pulsing walls. I barely felt him pushing my jeans and panties lower, exposing me to him. Then his soft tongue licked down between my folds, tasting my essence just as he continued to work his fingers inside my walls to make me release more.

“Jimin!” I called out when he took my swelling clit between his mouth, doing it so before I felt a hint of pressure when he added a finger into my pussy, pushing in and pumping softly. He stopped when he found restraint, pulling back only to push back and reach further inside, letting my walls clench tight around his digits.

“Relax for me, baby,” he grunts against my hot cunt, placing his free hand on my belly to push my hips back down when I had been pushing myself up against his mouth, tensing my muscles at the same time.

Opening my eyes to look down, I found him looking at me with a heated gaze. Hunger and lust were mixed together with the kind of look which had my heart turning warm. I released a deep exhale and let my body relax beneath him.

“Good girl,” he whispered to me, before he came back down, planting his mouth right between my legs again and expertly finding my clit for him to devour. “Now, don’t hold back on me, love. Let go and let me taste you.”

With that, his mouth came back to my nether lips, another finger came to join the others as he worked them in and out of my pussy, sending my legs trembling around his head, my fingers tightening on his hair to hold him down. My hips moved in circles, swivelling and dancing with the same rhythm he made on me to chase the surge of pleasure that continued to rise.

He kissed, licked, bit, all the while pumping his digits continuously against the sweet spot right through the hot entrance of my cunt, and I was instantly thrust into the edge. My climax came to me like a wave of warmth slowly building from my center and flowing around my body. Enveloping me with pure pleasure that had me screaming out into the wind.

A whisper of the cold breeze came upon me just as I shuddered into his mouth, an instant reminder of where we were.

I opened my eyes just as I had his fingers locked tight inside me, my pussy clenching him tight, his mouth locking tight around my clit. As I saw the ocean of stars above our heads, a surreal moment came upon me. It felt like I was flying high, drunk in pleasure and bliss with the stars around us and the moonlight lighting us both.

The sinful thought of him pleasuring me under the wide sky above and of being exposed to the universe pushed me back into another climax, thrusting me off the precipice of my orgasm that I couldn’t even cry out for it being too much for me to handle.

With a gasping sound, I embraced the pure pleasure. Letting myself to be brought up high with his touch, feeling free and elated at the same time as my orgasm came to me in smooth spasms, humming through my body, giving me the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt in the world.

Once the spasms of my release waned down to a shiver, Jimin gathered me in his arms. His touches soothed me as he gently tugged my jeans back in place. He pressed his kisses on my skin as he pulled my sweater back down, covering me from the cold.

“Should I get you warm? Or should I take you home?” he whispered, his lips brushing on my temple before he looked down at me, his eyes glinting with his desire. The haze in my head dissipated under the one word that had me clutching his shirt tight, anchoring him to me to let me know that I was not dreaming.

Home.

Glimpses of my dreams came back to me just then, and once again, I was swamped by a flood of warmth. Hope and love filled my heart, and the answer was clear.

“Take me home.”

—Present life. Jimin’s Apartment, year 2017—

His studio apartment had always felt warm and cozy.

But this night, it felt different. The good kind of different. No matter how often I had spent my time here, sleeping here almost every night instead of back in my dorm, it never truly felt like home unless he was there with me, holding me tight to him. Because he was my home. And though this place was every bit of his, I would still need him as my anchor.

Over the past few months, I had been leaving my things behind, marking my territory in his apartment. Tonight, as we entered his home with his arms wrapped around me, his kisses distracting me from looking around us, I found that the air was filled with the scent of my perfume. It washed over me so suddenly that I broke away from the kiss only to glance around, making sure that we were actually in the right place.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he whispered huskily as he caught my jawline with his mouth simply because he couldn’t stay away.

“Nothing,” I whispered in return, pressing my palms on his chest as I looked around for a few more seconds, sighing dreamily as I caught the sight of the foot of his bed on the far corner before finally letting myself melt into him. “I just—”

I looked up to him, catching his eyes looking down at me with wonders in them. “Your room smells like me.”

Jimin chuckled. “It does. And I love it,” he whispered, giving me a soft peck on the lips before he sheepishly confessed, “Sometimes, when you’re not sleeping here, I’d spray a bit of your perfume into my pillows so it would feel like you were there. I let your perfume sticks around more than mine because I want to feel your presence here.”

I gave him a dubious look. “Oh, Jimin,” I laughed. “That sounds a tad bit creepy yet also endearing I don’t even know how to feel.”

He laughed with me, his head falling back when he did. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

I placed a palm on his cheek, urging him to look at me again before I could kiss his cheek. “I actually like the fact that I’ve marked your place not only with my things but with everything else too.”

He caught my lips in his for a brief moment. “You’re welcome to do more than marking,” he said, suddenly looking a bit hesitant to continue.

“Really?” I asked him, teasingly feigning innocence to him. “Is this your way of asking me to move in with you?”

His lips twitched but he held back his smile. “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

His grin slowly came back, even if his eyes kept glancing away with uncertainty before he finally spoke. “Move in with me.”

I felt my eyes sting. There was something about all of this that made me want to cry. Like there was something inside me that was slowly coming together. Which was why the answer came out easily. “I’d love to. My home is with you, Jimin.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, his gentle smile came back onto his face and I couldn’t stop myself from brushing my lips over his. The quick peck on his lips turned into a hungry kiss when he pressed me tightly against him and kissed me back. I felt his chest rumbling with a deep grunt just as my knees started to turn into jelly. What held me up were his arms around me, keeping me pressed to him before I could even attach my arms around him.

“Take me to bed, Jimin,” I said, breaking the kiss with a sigh.

When I pulled back to pull him into his bedroom, he groaned and refused to let me go. With his arms tightening around my waist, he carried me up, making me kick off my shoes and wrap my legs around his waist as he began to take me into the bedroom, hastily kissing my lips on the way there.

Jimin was almost breathless when he laid me down onto the bed, then climbed up to follow me after kicking his own shoes off. He didn’t wait long before capturing my lips on his again, pinning me right at the center of his bed as if he was afraid I would run away.

“Are you tired?” he asks me softly as he nipped on my jawline, giving me a moment to breathe.

“Kinda. Why?”

He sighed. “I just—you are so irresistible.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Who? Me?”

Instead of answering me, he lowered his head, kissing the side of my neck and I felt all the goosebumps forming on my skin. It was almost the same as they did when he touched me under the clear night sky. Except that it was no longer windy and I was still terribly sensitive to every touch he gave me. “I want to make love to you so bad,” he whispered, not bothering to wait until I responded when he bit down playfully on the exposed skin right above the neckline of my sweater.

He splayed his hand on my stomach, the warmth of his touch seeping through my sweater. Then his hand slipped under the hem, stroking my bare skin, sending tremors through me as he reminded me of how he touched me before.

“You already gave me so much pleasure and made me cum under the stars,” I said to him, my voice shaking and breathless as I arched against his palm.

“I certainly did—” he said, giving me a lazy grin. There was a hint of pride glowing in his eyes, no doubt reminiscing on how he brought me up to bliss right at the top of the hills, where only he and I existed.

Already, my body grew hot with need, calling him to touch me again. His delicate fingers tracing along my belly and up to my breasts felt good, but it was nothing compared to when he slid his fingers down, drifting lower until he could slide under the waistband of my jeans and under my panties so effortlessly as if he already knew every curve and every ridge of my body to find his way.

Jimin pressed his lips at my ear, nibbling gently as he pressed his fingers into my folds, spreading me open. My breath became a rush of short pants as I rocked into his touch and he began stroking me, giving me long, firm thrusts that sent electric shocks up my spine and liquified my bones almost instantly. My hips rolled against his hand and the pleasure peaked incredibly fast, as I was still too sensitive after the intense pleasure he gave me tonight, after what we had shared back on the rocks, after what he made me feel. My panties were still wet, and it was about to get even more drenched as he kept touching me with all the right ways he knew just exactly how to.

“Oh god—” I moaned while my body kept moving on its own accord, seeking release to the mounting pleasure rising inside me. “Jimin, please—”

“So sweet. You always look so pretty when you cum. When you release your climax on my fingers or my tongue,” he murmured while scraping his teeth on my skin, tasting me. “I want you so bad, _____.”

He pushed his fingers inside, pressing his thumb on my clit, and I gasped and shuddered as white pleasure came shooting through me. It came in waves, much softer than the one he gave me before, but it was still enough to send my body quaking in his arms. As I came down, I found myself lying on my back. Jimin was hovering on top of me, licking his fingers clean with a few soft moans rumbling from deep within his throat. Each sound he made rocked something inside me that I felt the urge to touch him.

So I pulled him down on me, kissing his lips hungrily before muttering softly. “Take me, Jimin.”

I kissed him again before he could say a thing, relishing on the taste of his mouth on mine. He had been giving me so much pleasure that I wanted to give it all back to him, to get him naked and vulnerable the same way he did to me on the rocks, or any other times I was with him. The idea of touching him until he would be lost in his pleasure sent shivers down my body. I remembered the beautiful look on his face that he would make when he embraced his pleasure, the wonder in his eyes and the smile that it brought him, and I wanted to see it all again.

Then he suddenly pulled back, his eyes lost in wonders already as he took me in silently. His eyes looking so dark and deep that I felt him embracing me with his gaze.

“What are you thinking?” My voice was hoarse, already deeply affected by him.

“I’m thinking—” he whispered, licking his lips as he ran his gaze down on me one last time before meeting my eyes again. “—that I’m going to take off your clothes, piece by piece.” He reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear, something that I had found to be the small gesture that he loved to do when he touched me, then trailed his fingers down my neck, feeling my pulse pacing beneath his fingertips.

“I’ll kiss you everywhere, taste every inch of your bare skin. And then I’m going to sink inside you so deep you will remember me being a part of you.” His palm rested on my cheek and he leaned in. His eyes were hooded when he looked at me, letting me see the clear desire burning in them when he whispered huskily, “And then, when you come, I’ll make you feel so good that the only thing coming out of your lips would be my name. In fact, I’ll make sure that everyone will hear you when you call my name as I make you come.”

“Jimin—”

My heart raced inside my chest. My whole body was throbbing with excitement, but there was a bit of fear between them as well. I have waited for this moment for a long time, yet the fear of making all the same mistakes, the fear of losing him, everything had always come together to send me to the borders of pain that were so intense that I had always kept holding back.

And now, as he kept telling me everything he wanted to do to me, all the sinful things he wanted to show me as he showed me what he truly felt for me, I knew then that I needed him more than ever.

Jimin lowered his mouth to my exposed neck when I couldn’t find the will to speak, sucking on my pulse, pulling me back to the present while chasing away all of my fears. I knew that I loved him. I always had. And every kiss that he gave me reminded me of that feeling, while he showed me just how much I could trust him. With every kiss he gave me, I slowly began to relax, relishing on the gentle current of pleasure that was beginning to grow stronger inside me I could no longer feel anything but.

His hands dropped to the hem of my sweater and skimmed up to my ribs. As promised, despite the filthy thoughts he placed into my head, he was gentle. Moving so slowly while never looking away, keeping his gaze on my face, on my eyes, as he continued to read through my expression to see if he was crossing the line that I was not ready to go over. That was when I knew that he would always take care of me, just like every single time we were together.

Through my memories, I knew that he had always put me first above all else. The days that I had spent with him had always shown me that he was still the same, so I trusted him for putting me first tonight as he reached up, caressing my breasts through the flimsy fabric of my bra.

His gentle touch played with my mounds until I felt a tight ache forming right at both tips, while at the same time, his kisses traced my pulse along my neck, sending heat pooling between my legs.

“I love touching you like this,” he whispered, making me moan as he slipped my bra down and his hands were on my bare breasts, stealing my breath as he pinched the nipples one at a time. With his touch, the electric currents I felt instantly picked up, rising from my breasts and down to my core.

Then he started peeling my clothes off—my sweater, my bra, making good of his words while kissing every inch of skin that was exposed to his eyes. His lips were soft against my skin when he returned after tossing my clothes away, making me sigh at the connection as he kept climbing down to my chest. But as he licked at the tip of my breast, taking a nipple into his mouth to suck, I arched into his mouth, wanting him to take more.

His hands traced down as he continued to nibble on my sensitive bud and tugged at my jeans. Through my hazy mind, I felt him pulling them off and down my legs, together with my panties, until I was finally completely bare beneath him.

He bent over me, kissing his way down, brushing his lips over my belly, lightly tracing his hot kisses until he reached to my thighs.

“Jimin—I need to touch you,” I whispered, reaching out to his shoulders to let him know just how much I needed to feel his body on mine.

He looked up to me with hooded eyes and a lazy grin. He pushed himself up and began to drag his shirt off, revealing his bare chest to me. He stepped back and climbed off of the bed so he could slide his jeans down his hips together with his briefs, and I immediately lost my train of thoughts. His cock jumped up, bumping against his belly when he straightened himself up. The sight of his length bare and twitching made my core throb. I knew he could see what he did to me when his grin returned and he stroke himself for me.

Jimin opened his eyes to the sound of my soft moan, locking his gaze on mine, giving me his devastating half-smile when he saw me reacting to the sight of him touching himself. He reached over to grab a condom from his pocket, deftly tearing the foil open and swiftly slipping it on before coming back to me.

He leaned over me, stretching his body over mine, and my mind went blank for a moment before I blinked and realised that it was truly happening. His arousal that was pressing hot against my belly became proof that this was real. That he was real.

“You have no idea how beautiful you look, lying naked under me,” he softly whispered, brushing his mouth over my cheek, my jaw, then coming back onto my lips. “Are you sure you want this? Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I want you, Jimin. I want this,” I practically begged him, whining when he pulled back and his lips left my skin.

I’ve wanted this for so long. The words rang inside my head, but I bit my lips to stop myself from saying it out loud. But he must have seen something in my eyes that was telling him just how much I meant every word I said, because I felt it when he finally let go every bit of his inhibitions, and something else grew in his gaze.

Looking deep into my eyes, Jimin made me a promise that had me almost crying. “I’ll be careful. And do things gently so I won’t hurt you.”

Blinking the tears away, I reached out to cup his face. “I’m not made of glass, Jimin.”

He smiled, looking both sad and relieved when he sighed and whispered, “I know you’re not.”

Jimin kissed me again, taking it slowly and gently this time. Then he was pressing into me, his hand reaching between us to guide himself at the center of my heat. He kept whispering my name as he slowly pushed in, spreading me apart as he slid deeper, stopping briefly to kiss my lips to distract me right before he suddenly gave a little push, filling me up entirely with his girth. It was shocking and painful and amazing at the same time that I couldn’t even make a sound. The only thing that came out of my lips was a breathless cry, and my body arched towards him instead of moving away. Soothing me from the shock, Jimin began kissing my neck, my breasts, my mouth, until I finally began to relax and the pain began to fade. I felt full and hyperaware of his existence inside. The thought of our bodies joining together made me clench around him tightly. As if my body wanted to keep him there.

“How are you doing?” he asked me, his voice sounded strained as he held very still on top of me, afraid to move and to hurt me by moving too soon.

But I was no longer hurting.

As the pulsing pain began to form into something else entirely new, something else that felt wonderful, I gave him a reassuring smile to stop him from worrying. “I’m okay. You can continue now.”

My answer made him chuckle, then he exhaled softly before beginning to shift. His hands were pressing onto the bed, then one moved to my hips to hold me as he began pulling out, pushing back inside, moving steadily slow at first before the muscles inside my walls allowed him to move more easily.

“You feel so good, ______. So fucking good around me,” he grunted, and his pace began to pick up.

With each drag of his hardness inside me, the pleasure mounted gradually. A throbbing, maddening pulse began to rise from the depth of my core, rising along with the pressure coiling around my middle, sending me breathless, my brain was muddled as it was thrust into a certain height of bliss.

As my body adjusted and I was slowly getting used to the rising rush of pleasure, my hips were lifted against him and I clutched at his back, drawing him deeper inside.

“Fucking hell, _______,” he cursed as I clenched, gritting his teeth before he increased his pace, pumping his cock in and out of me more frantically until my head spin and his body grew tight against me.

He was close, I could feel it. Just as I was coming close to my own end.

Kissing me again, Jimin tried to make it last by kissing my nipples, my neck, taking my mouth again to swallow the moans that I didn’t even realise I was making. I must have been calling for his name in the midst of crying in pleasure because I could feel him smiling into the kiss.

“You drive me fucking crazy, _____,” he whispered against my mouth while continuing to work on his hips, pounding gently into me even though his pace had grown more rapidly than it did before. “I don’t know how long I could last. You’re so tight around me.”

“I—I think I’m close. Come together with me, Jimin.”

He thrust his cock inside me again and again, every time he came back it felt better than the last when the tip of his shaft pushed through my walls until he reached so deep, right the hilt. Jimin let out a moan and rolled his hips while I continued to move mine, chasing him and chasing our release together.

He rocked inside me, going as deep as he could reach until I cried out his name. I clenched tight around his cock and he pounded straight into me, hitting all the right spots, sending me jolts of pleasure with each thrust which then became my undoing.

Sparks came shooting up from my core just as he began twitching between my clenching walls. The feeling of him quaking inside me set me on fire. The flame of my pleasure burning me deep inside before I finally plunged over the edge. My orgasm must have triggered his own to come, as the moment I cried out his name with each intense pulse of my climax, he erupted inside me and into the condom with a deep groan, a soft whimper following behind as the spasms of his release rocked him to the core.

It took a while until the waves of my climax began to come down into smaller spasms. It took his soft touches and his gentle kisses to bring me back, to help me open my eyes until I saw him. Somehow, I must have blacked out. Because he was already lying on my side, his heartbeat still rapid as I rested my head on his chest, while my own body was still humming with the remnants of my climax.

“Are you okay, baby?”

I closed my eyes, refusing to let my tear drop when the first thing he did after our first lovemaking was to make sure that I was doing alright. Sighing contently, I looked up to his face and gave him a smile.

“That was amazing,” I whispered to him, pressing my lips on his bare chest while pressing my body tightly against him, just so I could feel his warmth around me.

I felt his lips brushing against my temple. “I didn’t hurt you?” he asked me as he tilted my chin up, making me return his gaze.

“No, it felt so good.” I swallowed deeply, making sure that my voice would stay steady when I said the words that had been hanging right at the tip of my tongue ever since the moment he claimed me. “I love you, Jimin.”

He sighed deeply. “I love you too, _____,” he whispered. Then he kissed my lips, gently, before finally letting me go once he realised just how exhausted I was. “Go to sleep, _____. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised me, kissing my face as he bid me goodnight and started pulling the blanket to cover our bodies, still naked and entangled on his massive bed.

With my body growing lax, the exhaustion engulfed me like a tidal wave and I began to slip away into slumber with his arms around me. Too tired to even say goodnight to him, I kissed his palm when he ran his fingers through my hair. The last thing I felt was his lips pressing gently on the top of my head. I barely heard his voice, already falling into my dreamless sleep when he faintly whispered to me—

“I’ve waited for you and for this moment for a long time.”

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

“Are you sure you will be okay with this?”

I tilted my head as I waited for his answer. Jimin merely gave me a meek smile, his eyes were drooping lazily as he returned my gaze. Funny how the situation had turned around. When only a few weeks ago, he was the one who first came into my room, asking for my permission to join me in my bed. Tonight, I was the one waiting for him to invite me in, while he was the one who needed the companion.

“I’m sure,” he whispered softly with his voice sounding low and hoarse, as if he needed everything in him just to get those words out of his lips. “In fact, I’m sure you will only make it better,” he chuckled lightly as he patted the side of the bed.

I looked away, following his dainty hand, thin and sickly pale that it almost matched the colour of his linen sheets. The sight nearly broke me down that I had to close my eyes before I could look into his eyes again. Just as our gazes met, he must have seen the hesitance building up inside me, because he slowly began to shift on the bed and scoot backwards, leaving a small space beside him just enough for me to squeeze in.

His movement was careful, doing his best to shift around under the restraint of the infusion tubes attached to his arm. Settling on his side as he waited for me to climb on top of the bed, I could hear him breathing heavily, letting me know just how much that subtle move had already drained enough of his energy.

“Come here,” he said, patting the empty side of the bed once again to beckon me close. “Don’t worry, they change the sheets every time they have a chance to.”

I gave him a light scoff, chuckling softly on his effort to make a light joke. As if I had to be reminded of the hospital’s routines when I had to endure and witness all the same thing as well. Jimin’s eyes kept forcing themselves to close, yet he was persistent, holding back from dozing off just to make sure he would see me come to bed with him. So I gave in. With a sigh, I set up the IV stand that I had dragged along with me all the way from my room to be next to his bed, before I crawled on top of it. It was a struggle to climb up, as I had to maneuver everything from locking my wheelchair in place, to pushing myself up and onto the bed. My flimsy pyjamas kept getting in the way while my stiff back made it hard for me to move easily. I was glad to have taken enough painkillers to numb down the pain, even if it was just a tad, or else I wouldn’t even be able to move at all with how strained my spine had become for the past few weeks.

“Be careful,” Jimin whispered when I let out a hiss the moment I pulled my legs up. I responded only with a smile and a soft murmur of, “I’m okay,” as I held back the pain and settled down beside him, trying not to make him too worried about me when he already had too much to deal with in his current condition. It took me a while, with careful shifts and turns, before I finally managed to lie down next to him.

As we laid on our sides, facing each other with our hands entangled together, I let myself get lost in his eyes while he kept his gaze locked on me. For a moment, everything else around us seemed to disappear, just like how it always had been whenever we held on to each other like this. Every painful moment of our battles against our demons, the illness that was eating up our souls from within, seemed so far away. His painful treatments and therapies, the forthcoming life-threatening surgery I was set to deal with within the next few weeks, all seemed irrelevant.

All the fright and pain seemed insignificant compared to his warmth and comforting touch, but I still held his hand tightly in mine, afraid that he may disappear once I let go.

Being in this hospital for a long time, everything around us had become redundant. We had somehow gotten used to the scents, the mixture of antiseptics and drugs, all the voices coming from the hallways even as we were asleep at night, and the chill temperature in our rooms that had always felt like ice picking into our skin. Even the pain that we both had to endure became a part of us, expected but never welcomed, as if they would always be there, the eerie reminders of why the both of us had ended up in this place together.

Yet everything became bearable because of Jimin. Because we had each other.

By now, the nurses and doctors no longer found it odd to find us sleeping side by side at night. A few requests had even been made to have us being roomed together to make it easier for us to be with each other, since the night trips down the hallways to each other’s rooms had started to become obstacles that were getting in the way of our recovery.

But every trip, even with its pain and exhaustion, had been worth it. Our nights together had kept us strong. They gave us both hope, something to look forward to.

Even when the days like this one would come, when either one of us would be taken away for our special ’treatments’ and ‘test runs’, before we were returned into our rooms only half of what we were before we had left.

“How was it?” I bit my lip the moment I realised that I was questioning him the one thing I knew he would be most reluctant to talk about. I knew how hard the day had been for him, because I had been there too. Despite my worries, I wasn’t sure if making him relive everything that he had gone through today would be a good idea, but sometimes talking about it helped, which was why it came almost instinctively for me to let him talk about it.

When his gaze was shadowed with disdain, I instantly regretted for even asking. Yet, he quickly smiled, chuckling lightly with his eyes closed before he answered, “It was marvellous. Astounding, joyful, completely relaxing. My whole body feels light, just like air, and now I am as strong as ever.”

The last words he said was accompanied by a bitter chuckle. When he opened his eyes again, they were glowing with unshed tears, and my chest tightened.

“It was that bad, huh?” I could feel my throat tightening, my voice cracked as I held back my tears. I hated what his treatments would do to him. Nobody should wake up early in the morning only to face an entire day of painful procedures. The only reprieve I could have about him getting through them was knowing that these procedures were the ones keeping him alive, giving him more time to fight as they tried their best to find the exact cure to free Jimin from his demons.

“I survived. There is nothing more fun than having people pricking and poking on your skin, and needles being jabbed through your tailbones,” he stopped, his lips twitching as he grimaced in defeat, as if he could still feel everything happening as he was talking about it. “At least I didn’t have to see it when they drew the blood from my be—”

I stopped him from finishing the sentence by pushing myself forward and landing a kiss on his lips. It startled him at first, before he sighed and returned them. Our dry lips meshed together into one in a delicate manner, too afraid to add any more pressure as either of us refused to hurt the other, even if we were desperate for one another.

His smile was present when I pulled back. His gaze softened as he opened his eyes, the pain and anger he felt almost gone when he looked at me. I didn’t move too far away, staying close with my hands on his chest just to feel our bond.

“I’m sorry for asking,” I told him, lowering my eyes to avoid his gaze. The next thing I felt was his chapped lips pressing on my forehead.

“It’s okay. A kiss can always make it better,” he said to me with a grin. My shoulders started to fall with relief, my fingers tracing the collar line of his pyjama top absentmindedly until I grazed his skin, and felt his prominent collarbone under the tip of my fingers.

“Don’t—” he hissed, surprising me enough that I started to pull my hand away with guilt. Except that he caught my hand before I could and kept it there. As I looked up into his eyes, I knew that he was not talking about how he didn’t want me to touch him. I didn’t understand it until he reached out to me, brushing the tear that I didn’t realise have made its presence on my face.

A sob finally escaped me, while he gave me a sad smile as he kissed my knuckles.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t feel sad for me.”

“I’m not—” I sobbed, clutching his hand that was holding mine so desperately. “It’s not that. It’s—”

He raised his eyebrows as he looked at mine, which he later kissed to make my frown go away. I relaxed against him when he kept his lips pressing there, giving me a chance to find my voice again before I could continue to speak. “I feel sorry for both of us.”

Jimin pulled me closer and let me rest my head on his shoulder. He did everything ever so gently, knowing that he would risk pulling the infusion tube that was attached to my forearm if he had tugged me too hastily.

“It will be over soon,” he whispered. I could feel his lips pressing on my thinning hair, his breath falling on my temple. He still had his hand holding mine in one, as the other was rubbing my back. The pyjama top I was wearing suddenly felt too thick on my skin. His touches felt too delicate that they were barely there.

“Soon, there will be no more of these cables, tubes, needles. No more nurses and doctors poking our bodies or running those tests on us. No more nauseating drugs and stale hospital meals. And there will be music around us instead of the sounds of the steady heart monitors we keep hearing from down the halls,” he kept whispering to me in a soothing voice. His body, his touch, his kisses, and his words started to replace the cold temperature in the room as I relaxed further in his hold.

“Soon, we will be sleeping in our comfy bed, in our own bedroom instead of these suffocating hospital rooms. And we will be able to walk and run freely with our heads held high without having to lean on the walls or being pushed on wheelchairs wherever we want to go. Soon, we will be walking out of here, our bodies strong enough, our face less pale, and our hair thickens. And I will be holding your hand as we do so.”

I kept my eyes close as I listened to him, picturing everything in my head until they all felt real. “That does sound nice. Every single one of it,” I told him with a sigh, pressing my cheeks on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. “Where should we go first after we leave here?”

“Hmmm—” his voice was soft with the familiar hum which I loved when he thought about it for a moment. “First, I will take you out on a date. I will make up for all the dates I had promised you and missed. The list is already so long, so I know we won’t be done with each and one of them in one day.”

“Obviously,” I chuckled.

“We can start light. I can take you to a fancy coffee shop. We will find the hippest one in the city, the one that youngsters love to hang out in. Because I know how much you love your panini.”

“Um,” I moan playfully, earning a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Yes, I do.”

“And then we could go to the movies. No horror movies, just some of those drama flicks you like most. And then we’ll go shopping, and we could go sightseeing in the city—” he continued. I could clearly see his eyes glazing when I looked up to him, lost in wonder, and it was much better than the usual painful look they usually emitted at the end of his treatments. So I said nothing, opting to listen to his words instead and joined him in imagining us going through every part of his plan.

In our minds, we were healthy. With no restrictions in our bodies to hold us back from walking and running, and laughing together while we were at it, as we were enjoying our lives together just the way we had planned them to.

“What if we run out of places to visit just in the city alone?” I asked him. “Pretty sure we would be bored with going to the malls and the zoos after a while. I’m okay with sitting in the park during our free time and the frequent trips to the coffee shop, but what then?”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, closing his eyes. The wondrous look in his gaze returned when he opened them a little bit later. “I really want to take you to other places, of course. I would love to take you for a whole weekend down the beach.”

“The beach?”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Wouldn’t it be nice? I mean, I love going to the mountains and all, but the beach would be a really good idea after we spend weeks inside these walls without the sun falling on our skin, don’t you think?”

“The warm sun does sound more lovely compared to this,” I answered him while snuggling closer, searching for the warmth that I could barely acquire from my pyjamas and the hospital’s blanket alone. Jimin tightened his arm around me, either knowing that I needed it and also needing to warm himself at the same time.

“We can stroll down the beach, the white sand slipping between our toes. I would chase you down as we run with the waves, probably dunk you into the water once I catch you,” he said, chuckling when I swatted his chest.

“You know I hate wearing wet clothes,” I protested with a pout, making him laugh.

“Who said we’ll be wearing full clothes on?”

I looked up at him with a frown. “What are we wearing then?”

Licking his lips, he looked down to stare at mine. “We’ll be in swimming suits, of course. You’ll be wearing the bikini you once showed me, the yellow pair you wore in your photos from college, and I’d wear a trunk that is just as revealing as yours.”

I started picturing us in the same way he described it. Before I could even stop it, I felt my smile fading, as my own insecurities blanketed me.

“What? What’s wrong?” he lifted my chin gently so that I was staring straight into his eyes. And I realised then that I was mirroring his frown. Although when his face was showing curiosity, mine was giving him something else.

“Nothing,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I just—” I could only sigh, hating the feeling I was having, dreading the lump that was stuck in my throat. His imagination and his dream were all beautiful. But I was not. “Look at me. I look ugly. I can’t imagine myself wearing those outfits again, revealing myself to you like that. Everything about me has changed so much since I got sick. I could never return to how I was before—”

“Stop saying that. You are beautiful,” Jimin scolded me, stopping me by pressing his thumb on my quivering lips. His eyes were dark, but his voice was soft. And it only got even softer when he spoke, “I don’t care if you will look different, if the bikini won’t fit you anymore. You are beautiful.”

I lost every word that I was going to say, not having a chance to answer him when he leaned in to kiss me, drowning my thoughts and insecurities and replacing them with comfort as he pressed his lips on mine. He never stopped until I stopped crying, until I returned the kiss with my own and stopped with a content sigh. He pulled away with a gentle smile on his face, looking at me just as I mirrored his smile. The terrible, painful thoughts no longer bothered me as much as they did. Not when he was looking at me the way he did. Like I was something special.

But then I began chastising myself for being so vulnerable. This had been such a tough day for Jimin, and I was supposed to be the one comforting him by coming here. Not the other way around. Again, as if he could read my thoughts, he pulled me back to him by tilting my chin up and forcing me to look at him instead of avoiding his eyes and getting too lost in my head.

“Do you want to know what I think about when I picture myself taking you to the beach?” he asked me all so suddenly, and I nodded.

“I do want to know. What do you have in mind?”

Jimin’s lips curled into a sly grin. His glazed eyes filled with mirth as he held my hands, pressing them on his chest when he spoke,

“I want to lay you down on the sand when night comes, hold you close to my chest as we look up at the stars in the sky, the sound of waves running in the background would be the perfect music for our night together. And then I will kiss your lips—” he stopped, leaning down to give me a chaste kiss right on the corner of my lips, “—and your nose.” I laughed softly when he kissed the tip of my nose, teasingly pressing his kiss a bit longer before pulling away so he could continue.

“I will continue kissing you, down to your chin and then to your neck. I will probably lick your collarbones, finding the sensitive parts where they tickle,” he said, grinning wide when I laughed.

“You know which spots they are,” I told him, earning his wide smile in return.

“I do know,” he said. “And I will kiss them all, before I continue lower.”

I raised my eyebrows, curious to listen to his plans even more. “How much lower?”

Jimin bit his lips. His eyes slowly turned away from my face and he looked down between us.

“I will start from your breasts, although I might have to take your top off first,” he said, keeping his eyes on my chest.

A gasp came out of me and I instantly pulled my hands away from him, crossing them over my chest and looked away when my face felt hot. “But—they no longer look the way they used to, and—”

“And perfect for my small, skinny hands,” he cut me off while prying my hands away and held them close to his chest again. He lifted my face with his finger on my chin and said, “They are the softest thing in the world, ____. And I love to admire them. To touch them, to kiss them.”

And he kissed me. Right on my lips, before I ever got a chance to respond. “I remember you being sensitive there,” he whispered, keeping his forehead pressed on mine while his hand brushed gently on my covered breasts from over my pyjama top.

“I’m sensitive everywhere. Whenever you touch me,” I whispered. My heartbeat started racing as I felt his palm kneading my breast softly, moving carefully so he wouldn’t hurt me. His touch made me shudder, and I almost failed to process his words before he moved his hand to my back, pulling me closer to him, while his other hand stayed behind, pinching gently on my hardened nipple until I gasped against his lips. I could barely question how or why this conversation had suddenly led to this, and I could only guess where he was leading this to. I knew because his eyes were telling me all of his intentions as they looked at me with darkness behind their sleepy glow.

“So would you let me touch you then? Without anything getting in the way, I mean. Would you let me kiss you there?” he asked, practically begging me softly with an adorable look on his face that I just had no choice but to nod. Smiling to me to show how my response had pleased him, he leaned in, tracing my jawline with his kisses while he whispered, “I will take my time, taking one peak and lick it, bite you tenderly until I feel the tip of your breast hardening in my lips. And then I will do the same to the other—”

“Jimin—” I gasped. And my body suddenly started heating up all over, from my chest and down to my core. He pressed his lips on my neck, right where I pulsed for him, and I almost came right away just from listening to his words and feeling his gentle kiss alone.

“Are you going to push me away?” he asked me, nipping at the tender skin on my neck when he felt me shuddering against him.

“N-no—” I shifted on the bed, moving my legs and started pressing them together to tone down the intense pulse rising inside my core.

“Good, because then I can continue kissing you,” he whispered, pressing his lips on mine before he pulled me in until our chests were pressing each other. “I will kiss every part of your skin until you arch your chest, pressing your body to me. Then I will continue lower, kissing down your stomach, licking around your navel until you reach down to pull my hair. Just don’t pull me too hard, I might lose the hair that I have grown by then.”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Appalled to how he could still throw a little joke in the middle of his sweet yet sinful talk. “Stop, you’re being silly.”

“You love me being silly,” he immediately responded. His lips turned to a smirk when I glanced up, making me want to kiss it away. But he had my body pressing close to his, making it hard for me to reach up. All I could reach was his neck, and that was where I let my lips rest, making him chuckle before he grunted softly when I nipped at his skin playfully in return just before he continued to whisper, “And I bet you will stop thinking that I am being silly once I reach your bikini bottom and start lowering them down your legs.”

I hid my face on the nape of his neck as I groaned desperately, the heat between my legs making its appearance once more. But I didn’t stop him.

“I will shift between your legs, never stop kissing you until I am there—licking, and sucking, and drinking every drop of your release until you scream my name.”

“Oh, Jimin,” I gasped. My body reacted before my mind could even process it. I was pressing my whole body onto him, my legs rubbing each other in desperate need to press the intense throbbing that was happening between them.

“Would you like that?” he whispered, sounding breathless when he spoke to me. His own desire was coating his words and I felt him trembling against me.

“Hmm—” I sighed, not even minding that he had one of his legs slipping between mine and I was practically grinding on his thigh. “Yeah, I would like that a lot.”

Jimin fell silent for a moment. But I could feel his eyes on me, studying my face while I had my eyes closed, embracing the warmth that was throbbing inside me, started deep within my core before it began to spread all over my body. I hummed softly as I was enjoying the warmth coming out of his body, when I focused on his thigh that was pressing down the heat between my legs. I waited until my heartbeat steadied and opened my eyes.

“Do you think I would stop there?” he asked, smiling gently as he watched me slowly falling apart.

“Oh? You won’t?”

“No, that’s just the beginning, my love,” he shook his head, pressing his thigh harder onto my heat. The pressure hit right where I needed him and I instantly started grinding against it while his words came flowing as if he was guiding me into making love to his body. And I complied with my eyes closed, my body dancing through his words, my hips kept swivelling with the same rhythm of his heartbeat under my palms.

“Once you come down from your climax, I will lift your legs, open them apart so I can move between them. I’ll keep touching your skin and kissing all over your body while I crawl on top of you. I won’t stop kissing you, and I will only look into your eyes when I make love to you under the stars and the moonlight. The sky and the universe as our witness. You will keep your eyes on the night sky, at the bright stars lighting us from above when I am deep inside you, filling you up until all you could see is more stars. I will bring you pleasure, the kind that you had never felt before, until your body explodes to another climax while you are in my hands.”

And that was it.

His words pushed me right into the edge, my hips moving voluntarily as I pictured him making love to me, his hands strumming my whole body the way his words did it to me. With each throb of need, I pressed my hips down, pressing myself harder onto his thigh while my hips rubbed against his covered hard-on. We moved together as I continued to swivel, rolling my hips against his body, thrusting my pulsing heat against his thigh, chasing my end. His voice started fading out when my whole body shuddered, the rush of pleasure came climbing up steadily until it reached to the peak, and I came apart with his arms around me. I kept whimpering his name, gasping for breath in between as the electric waves of bliss came coursing through my body. He never let go of me as he kept whispering to me sweet nothings, kissing my face gently until I was coming down from my high and I started to calm down.

“That was—” I gasped, when a few small spasms of my orgasm ran through me with his hands rubbing on my back. I gave him a smile which he returned with his own. “All of it, it all sounded beautiful.” I licked my lips, and let out a soft chuckle. “And completely unsanitary.”

Jimin laughed, sounding delighted and relieved. And then he kissed me, as gentle as he possibly could, yet still deep and intense. It felt like giving me my release had him letting go of his own apprehension. I was beginning to dread the fact that he had pleasured me while I failed to help him reach his end, until I felt his soaked pants and saw the dark stain forming between his legs that had proven otherwise. I was breathing a sigh of relief when he tilted my face up again.

“Will you do it with me one day? Run away to a place where we could be alone, together, just the two of us? Make love to me under the stars?” he asked me while looking deep into my eyes.

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” I answered him without ever looking away so he could see that I meant what I said. “You know that I’ll be happy as long as I’m with you, Jimin.”

Jimin’s eyes widened for a brief moment. I could see through them glints of happiness, hope, and joy, before they all disappeared in a blink and he was breaking down in front of me again. He pulled me into a deep hug, just when I felt myself breaking down with him. Neither of us could allow ourselves to pull away, to see the unspoken truth that lingered between us, that was shown through our eyes when they finally met each other again.

And then, as he gently pressed his lips on the top of my head, I felt him smiling through his tears.

“Everything will be okay,” he whispered. It was never clear whether he was trying to convince himself or to calm me down, but I took it all in, allowing the hope that was coating his sentence to reside in my chest.

“We’re going to be okay,” I said then, as I kept breaking down silently with tears.

“Yes, we are.” He kissed my forehead, repeating the words over and over again until his voice started to sound heavy with sleep. A sign that his medicine had finally taken effect on him. That our little tryst was enough to make him feel a bit more relaxed than he was before.

“Go to sleep, Jimin,” I told him as I wrapped my arms around him, feeling myself being dragged into the darkest of night at the same time, when my own body started to give in to sleep. I was halfway into my dreams when I heard his voice speaking softly to me,

“Thank you, ______. Good night.”

That night, I dreamt of us making love under the stars.

The ground and the plateau around us became nothing else but a blanket of darkness, overshadowed by the bright night sky above. Nothing else mattered but us, together, joined as one. Everything else became insignificant when all I could see, and feel, was him. And I could never look away from him as he made love to me, making me whole again while he brought me pleasure. Nothing else could make me look away, for he was the most beautiful star in my eyes, and he was the only one who could mend every piece of my broken soul until I was completed once again.

—  © 2020 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[asphyxiateher]

Only Monsters Come Out at Night

Chapter 3: Addicted to the Way You Hurt Summary: Desdemona is scheming her way out of the castle but a one on one conversation with Bela Dimitrescu shakes up her world.

Desdemona could not quite recall how long it had been since she had been brought down to the cellars of Castle Dimitrescu nor did she care. She had been escorted to a vast open chamber with a high vaulted ceiling, antique cast iron braziers lined the walls offering a dim light that caused shadows to flicker every which way. An archaic chandelier comprised of rusted metal swayed back and forth above her head and it was the only thing Desdemona could focus on as she lay on the ground with her hands clasped together behind her head. The only source of her comfort came in the form of the dank and moldy rustic stone flooring beneath her and that was not saying much.

She shifted uncomfortably to her side and sighed when she realized it was not going to get any better than this. It had taken awhile to adjust to the dark and dismal environment of her new accommodation, but Desdemona currently preferred the desolation over the company of the maniacal sisters who were currently enjoying the life of luxury above ground. At the thought of the chaotic personalities that belonged to Lady Dimitrescu’s daughters, Desdemona shivered and shut her eyes to assuage her fears. If they left her alone, she felt safe in this prison. The surviving Hawthorne twin groaned when she felt immense hunger pangs gnawing at her again, her thirst making itself known once more and she briefly wondered if this was how she was going to die. Gray eyes open in a flash and a familiar dread begins to creep in.

‘I don’t want to die, not like this.’ Desdemona thinks to herself, tears prickling in her eyes as the painful memory of Desmond’s death replays repeatedly in her mind. “Good morning, Little One. Did you sleep well? I could not stop thinking about you sleeping all alone in our cellar. You poor pretty thing, mother thought it best to leave you in here after all that commotion from before.” The voice came from outside the wooden door that kept her locked in the chamber, and Desdemona immediately sat up when she heard the terrifying sound of insects dispersing into what was supposed to be her temporary haven away from all the madness.

Long, dirty blonde hair was the first thing she noticed, and Desdemona’s anxiety spiked when she realized it was Bela Dimitrescu who decided to pay her a visit. From how fondly Alcina spoke of Bela, she was clearly the second in command and that made her incredibly dangerous. Self-preservation began to kick in and Desdemona knew that she had to use her words carefully if she wished to survive this potentially fatal encounter.

“…Bela, if I may address you as such, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Desdemona carefully asked as she slowly backed away from the sadistic killer. Bela surprised the smaller girl when she didn’t laugh at her question but instead offered a small smile in response. “You’re so polite, I almost find it unusual but it’s…pleasant. I can see why mother decided to keep you and I am thankful she did. You’re the best gift she’s ever bestowed to me.” Bela replied, giggling at Desdemona’s reaction when she steps closer to her.

Desdemona’s back hits the wall and Bela’s face is now inches away from hers, shrewd golden eyes now assessing the state of her prey. The blonde firmly cups Desdemona’s chin and forces fearful gray eyes to meet her gaze.

“Please don’t kill me.” Desdemona whispers quietly, her hands instinctively reaching upwards towards her chest. Bela quirks an eyebrow at the request but does not laugh, which throws her human prey off guard considering how she behaved towards her the other day. She quickly wraps a hand around Desdemona’s wrist and tugs her closer, their noses barely touching and Bela’s eyes roll to the back of her head when she inhales the other woman’s scent.

“There are many things I want to do to you, Little One, but killing you is not one of them. You are different and I am trying to figure out how. I yearn to be around you for reasons other than your blood and it’s…frustrating.” Bela admits quietly as she looks away.

Desdemona is shocked to see Bela’s demeanor suddenly change, annoyance quickly replacing her uncertainty in that moment.

“I can see that you’re malnourished. I will send for a maiden to deliver you food as soon as possible. Your blood smells less appetizing when you humans neglect your health. Ugh.” Bela growls as she pushes Desdemona back against the wall and away from her.

Bela twists around and begins to walk towards the exit when she notices Desdemona’s dirty backpack splayed on the floor, strange and unusual curiosities spilling out of it. Her mother had thoroughly searched through the contents of her bag in case she was hiding anything dangerous but was generous enough to leave most of the contents inside alone. Bela being the inquisitive creature that she was glanced over to Desdemona before kneeling on the ground to look through her pretty little pet’s personal items.

Desdemona let out a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding and decided to take advantage of the peculiar scene unfolding in front of her. She cautiously took a step forward and when she concluded that Bela was not going to attack, Desdemona circled around her and quietly observed the dangerous woman prying into her personal life.

Bela tilted her head in confusion when pulled out a slim device with a cracked screen from the front pocket of her backpack and when she pressed the small circular button to see if it would do anything, the screen flashed on and it made Bela jump. Desdemona did not know whether or not she should laugh in fear for her safety, so she rolled her lips to maintain a neutral facial expression.

“What is this wretched thing and what is its purpose?” Bela demands as she struggles to make sense of Desdemona’s lock screen wallpaper, which was an image of a lone wolf. ‘Is she seriously trying to make conversation with me right now? What the fuck?’ Desdemona asks herself. She knows deep down that she should feel a deep hatred for the woman in front of her, but she didn’t want to anger her and cause her to lash out violently. Desdemona wanted to live a little while longer thank you very much.

“That’s a cell phone, like uh, a mobile telephone you can take everywhere with you and make phone calls. The biggest difference between the landline phone your mother has, as I’ve noticed, and mine is that I can play music, games, and share pictures on here. Crap, my battery is just about dead though.” Desdemona replies, trying ridiculously hard to hide her disappointment when she noticed there was still no signal anywhere in this castle.

Bela’s face lit up when Desdemona mentioned pictures and giggled madly at the prospect of seeing more of this resplendent creature wherever she went. “This bloody thing needs to charge in order to remain powered? I’ll have to ask mother about it, she’s more knowledgeable about modern technology as my sisters and I have no need to know about these things…well, at least until now. Show me where to find your pictures, pet!” Bela exclaims excitedly, her energy quickly swirling and improving the dark atmosphere that surrounded them both.

Desdemona fought valiantly to keep a neutral expression on her face but Bela was making it difficult to hate her when she was this endearing about wanting to learn more about her. When Desdemona made her phone easily accessible to Bela, she showed her where to find her photo albums and she nearly jumped out of her skin when the eldest daughter squealed with absolute glee. It took a great deal of effort not to blush and smile when Bela regarded her with what appeared to be admiration as she compared her appearance from how she looked in the photos to how she looked now.

‘You’re supposed to hate her, Desdemona. They killed your twin brother or have you already forgotten that?’

This strange and unusual moment she was sharing with Bela was all in the name of self-preservation and if giving the other woman her phone meant prolonging her life, then she would gladly give these women anything if it meant she could get out of here alive.

“These photos of you…they do not do you justice. You’re more beautiful in person, you know.” Bela murmurs quietly, a tidal wave of emotions washing over in an instant the moment she says this, and Desdemona is finally able to figure out why the other woman snapped at her earlier.

Bela was lonely, a trait she found in common with Lady Dimitrescu’s eldest daughter. She may have had her sisters for company for whoever knows how long but she could easily see how a sudden wave of isolation would wash over them from time to time. They craved companionship outside of the family and wanting to form an intimate connection with other people made them the way they are now. Desdemona related to that very well but on a level that did not send her on a murderous rampage. Perhaps she could use this to her advantage later; she could manipulate her way into the fold by making them think she cared about them and eventually use their weaknesses against them. It was all too tempting of an idea.

“Bela, you can have my phone and if you’re that to determined to learn how to use it, I’ll give you my charger if your mom can help you with that. Consider it a gift, you’ve been so… lovely and kind to me so far.” Desdemona said through nearly gritted teeth, wondering how long she could keep up with the façade. Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters had been everything but kind to her and lying wasn’t in her nature.

There is an uncomfortable quietness for a split second before Bela tears her eyes away from the phone and leers at Desdemona with an unmistakable look of hunger in her eyes. Desdemona swallows hard, wondering if she had gone a touch overboard but she couldn’t think on it any longer when Bela unexpectedly leaps at her with teeth bared.

Bela pushes her frightened victim hard onto her back and laughs wildly with her head thrown back before she leans over and attempts to capture her prey’s lips in what she thinks is supposed to be a kiss. Desdemona gasps into Bela’s mouth but that quickly turns into a whine the moment she feels teeth gnashing against her dried, chapped lips in a manner so rough, it felt as though Bela intended to rip out her mouth.

‘Oh fuck, this lunatic is going to rip your mouth off of your face; do something! Do whatever it takes to survive but for fuck’s sake, don’t let her rip your mouth off!’ Desdemona’s frantic thoughts spurred her into action, the taste of her own blood already coating her tongue.

Desdemona summons enough strength to shove Bela away from her face but not off of her, her hands shakily keeping Bela in place atop of her hips. Bela, for the most part, looks furious at being rejected and she’s ready to punish her plaything for fighting back until she speaks again.

“I-if that’s what you c-call a kiss, you’ll need to do better than that, Bela. If I don’t have any lips to kiss you back, what would your sisters about say about that? Wasn’t it you that accused them of breaking me faster than you ever could? Don’t you want to savor every inch of me?” Desdemona ventures playfully, testing the waters to see if she could invoke any kind of reaction that would somehow calm Bela down. It seemed to work as Bela’s eyes widened in surprise, her hands flying up to cover her own mouth as if she were ashamed of her actions.

“You’re right, Cassandra and Daniela would never let me hear the end of it if I tore any part of you off before they get a chance to. It would be too humiliating!” Bela says as she unmounts herself from Desdemona.

Desdemona slowly begins to lean back on her arms as if to get up and the movement does not go unnoticed by Alcina’s eldest daughter. Bela grips the back of her head and forces her off the ground, her eyes slowly going over the entire length of Desdemona’s body once more. Desdemona feels her breath hitch the moment Bela tugs her closer to her body so now that their breasts were touching.

“You are driving me wild with lust, Desdemona Hawthorne, and it is dangerous for you should you dare toy with me. I mentioned earlier that you’re different from all the other maidens we interact with here in our home. The other women scream at the very sight of us! When we play, they bleed and cry for help, they fight back and run away only to find that there is nothing they can do to stop us. They don’t communicate with us, they only weep and beg for mercy and it is so very tiresome. Their blood was beginning to sicken me to the point that I thought all women’s blood was disgusting…until you came along that is.” Bela tells her in an unusually quiet tone, her grip on Desdemona’s thick tresses of hair loosening.

Desdemona licks her lips, a motion Bela follows with interest, and she sucks in a mouthful of air as she tentatively places a hand on top of Bela’s. She exhales when Bela’s fingers curl around her hand possessively.  

“Disobedience begets punishment and the maidens that dare fight back and run from us find out that my mother’s wrath comes in many unpleasant forms. You’re lucky if you’re brought down here to die, but the others…let’s just say they eek out a living in abandoned parts of my mother’s home with nothing but the memories of what they were before and now their only purpose in life is to consume the living.” Bela brings up Desdemona’s knuckles to her lips and kisses them. She forces one of Desdemona’s fingers into her mouth and moans as she sucks on the tip, immensely enjoying the other woman’s reaction to her lewd action.

Desdemona was breathing heavily now, an unsettling chill washing over her in what she assumed was fear. She could not believe what she was hearing yet Bela telling her all this so casually meant that harassing and tormenting maidens was the norm for Lady Dimitresu and her daughters. It sounded like they either fed off of the poor maidens that worked in the castle or Lady Dimitrescu herself experimented on or killed the disobedient ones.

“Where do I fit in all of this?” Desdemona asks. “Mother has seen it fit to keep you alive as my pet and I can do whatever I want with you yet you don’t fight back, you speak to me in a respectful tone and you’ve given me a gift. You have clearly declared your utmost love and devotion to me. I must keep you alive and away from my sisters so neither of them can see what you mean to me. You are my beloved!” Bela declares confidently as she reaches out to pet Desdemona’s head affectionately.

‘What?’

Desdemona freezes in place as her mind tries to absorb what is being said to her. She figured that Bela was lonely but that she was also the wisest and more mature of her sisters so she expected her to have a stronger notion as to what love entails. Desdemona should have known better to expect more from monsters who have known nothing but the horrors of sacrifice, torture, and murder in this hell house.

Bela grew slightly impatient at Desdemona’s continued silence and startled the younger girl by slapping her across the face.

“Well, do you have anything to say after I poured my heart and soul out to you or are you just toying with me? Mother and I do not tolerate the games you humans like to play.” Bela growls out menacingly as she towers over her prey, her hand reaching for the sickle that was strapped to her side.

Although she was momentarily stunned, Desdemona’s survival instincts kicked right back into gear.

“I-I understand, I apologize for my quiet demeanor but that’s how I am. I’m not used to sharing my thoughts with other people, so please bear with me, Mistress!” Desdemona begins, her hands reaching out and clutching at Bela’s hooded dress. She looked up and could see that Bela was clearly pleased with the title of ‘Mistress.’

“You’ll find that I prefer that you share your thoughts with me more often, my love, since you’ve so freely given yourself to me. I will go inform mother of our developing relationship and quickly send a maiden down here for food, you poor thing. I can hear your stomach growling and it is so pitiful to see. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to recover but don’t fret for too long. I’ll be back to see you soon.” Bela turned to leave but there was another question in the back of Desdemona’s mind that demanded an answer so she hurried over to Bela’s slowly disintegrating form and gripped her shoulder in order to stop her.

 Bela raised a brow at the action but when turned around, she couldn’t help but melt at the sight of Desdemona’s pretty puppy dog eyes looking up at her in love and adoration.

“Before you go, I have to know what happened to my best friend, Veronica. The loud-mouth your mother dragged around in chains. Is she…is she still alive?” Desdemona asked, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer but if she were still alive, at least she wouldn’t be alone and in miserable in Castle Dimitrescu.

 Bela smirked knowing exactly what plans her mother had in store for the other screeching woman-thing. The way Desdemona was looking at her, however, made her bite her own lip and relent. She normally kept her mother’s word and did not discuss such plans with outsiders but this was the woman who threw herself at Bela’s feet and declared her love for her.

“Mother is teaching her a lesson about obedience. She will not kill her if your friend plays her cards right, but your friend is stubborn and mother likes to beat that out of our servants. That’s all I will say on the matter, does that satisfy you?” Bela asked as she cupped Desdemona’s chin and gazed into her unfathomably deep gray eyes.

Desdemona holds back a choked sob and simply nods in response, sighing in relief when Bela finally transforms into a massive ball of insects and leaves the dungeon.

 She curls up into a ball and brings her knees tightly against her chest, tears now running freely down her face. Desdemona cries for what seems like an eternity but when she begins to calm down, a small amount of hope swells in her chest. Veronica was still alive. If they could reunite, they could come up with a plan to escape this castle without alerting Lady Dimitrescu and her demented daughters. There’s absolutely no way they could fight their way out of here, no matter how much Veronica would want to go out in the most violent way possible.

Just on the other side of the chamber’s door and down the dimly lit and gloomy hallway, Bela was on her way to see her mother when she glanced down at the strange device her beloved Desdemona had given her. Her heart was consumed by a strange, fluttering feeling that made her feel light-headed and it would have annoyed Bela if the picture on the screen wasn’t so damned tempting. It was a picture of Desdemona wearing absolutely nothing and she was posing so provocatively that it made Bela want to go back and have her way with the beauty she was looking at on screen. She had been messing around with the photo albums Desdemona showed her and found something that read ‘Hidden’. She must have clicked it by accident, and mother forgive her, she was ever so glad that she did.

Bela sighed and clutched the phone tightly to her chest, not wanting this strange sensation of desire to leave her body. She was absolutely certain that she was in love with Desdemona Hawthorne and nobody was going to take that away from her.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Death Rings Twice || Morgan and Eilidh

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @braindeacl @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: While searching for answers, Morgan and Eilidh realize the situation is worse than they realized.

CONTAINS: conversations with dead people

They came and went in waves. The first time, only the first time, Eilidh believed them to be just a part of being a ghost. James had done so many times—go in and out of view like the watts on a bulb. But those changes had been consensual, come upon by his own will, and he never truly left. Not like she had, and did, and still do. Moments of nothingness. Blink and she was gone, truly and ultimately gone. Blink and she was back, not even left with a memory. Just a faint recollection, a faint feeling of a blank. Like trying to recall a blackout. You knew it was there, you felt it too—pages torn from a book. But you also didn’t, couldn’t, for nothingness was all that remained. Nothingness that seemed to be her destination. Those blinks got longer, longer, longer. With no sign of slowing.

Eilidh knew Morgan was facing her own bouts of strangeness. Maybe they were connected. Morgan believed them to be—magic set loose like a wildfire, with them in its path. Consumed in its flames, would it burn them all the way to the ground? Or would they come out the other side, for the better? This curiosity, and a gnawing worry, compelled her forward, right into Morgan’s residence. She ventured through those great and winding halls, as if she already haunted the place. She ought to haunt at least one. Before it became too late. Passing by an open door, that familiar face was finally seen. Eilidh stopped, stared. Felt that nothingness threatening to claim her again. Visage flickered—like a light on its dying breath. But the feeling passed, leaving her there, shining on. The motion, or her very presence, must’ve caused a stir. The two women met each other’s eyes.

“Boo.”

Morgan just needed to find the right book. Zombies had been around for ages and so even if whatever was happening to her was obviously very rare, it must have happened to someone else before. And that someone must have wanted to write it down. Because magic directly affecting a zombie body at all was worth writing about; doing so in this cruel, backwards way defied everything she understood about magic and living matter. So, Morgan sat on the floor in the library, swimming through a large haul from the scriberary, searching. When Macleod appeared behind the volume she was holding, calling boo, Morgan yelped with surprise.

“Oh! Stars! That was--” she laughed uneasily. “That was something alright.” She sat back and looked at the other woman. She had believed everything Macleod had told her but seeing her friend, so wild and earthbound, so connected to her flesh, floating and transparent was uncanny in a way her mind struggled to process. “I wish I had good news on the funky magic boogaloo front, but there’s just lots of dead ends so far. But that can wait. Are you...okay? At least, relative to our situation?

Good-hearted chuckle lept out of Eilidh—breaking the illusion of the spooky ghost in the corner. She closed the distance between the two, eyes curiously scanning the cover and pages of the book nestled in Morgan’s lap. More were strewn across the room, circling Morgan in a protective barrier, or perhaps a tomb—either for future study or determined unsuited. Where one group ended and the other began, she wasn’t sure. Mouth parted to offer assistance, her hands and mind well-versed to such a skill, but the words quickly died just as her flesh had. Wouldn’t be much use when turning a page was a difficult endeavor. She had learned that fact rather quickly.

When attentions were placed on her, Eilidh perked. “Aye. Convinced this guy his cereal was sentient. And some lady she could control plants.” Snort of delight shot out her nose as their faces returned to memory. But as the chuckles faded, so too did this delight. That lingering worry remained. A hand brushed her lips, seemingly in thought. “Also…” In absence of external stimuli, she bit on a knuckle. But where a prick of sensation, a prick of life, would usually awaken her hand, only a mere acknowledgement greeted her. Fucking hell, how has James not gone mad by now? A low growl rumbled, and at least it felt nice in her chest. Familiar. “Been going in and out. Kinda like blinking. If you did that with a soul. James says it isn’t normal. And they’re getting longer.” Another knuckle met her teeth; that same hollow impact replayed. “Guess it’s soon time.” Her eyes scanned Morgan, transferring the focus back to the other woman. Wandering gaze found the darkness under her friend’s eyes. “What ‘bout you?”

For what seemed like a long time, Morgan could only stare at her friend. Or rather, through her friend. She could see every title on the shelf behind her if she concentrated enough, because Macleod, despite speaking and smiling and grinning and mischief-ing as much as she had ever done, was incorporeal and transparent. Like a ghost. A baby undead ghost. Which wasn’t supposed to exist. “..Blinking? What? Uh, that sounds bad. And weird. I’ve never heard of ghosts doing that before. They cross over, and they have some kind of teleportation thing, but they don’t play peek-a-boo with a whole plane of existence. That’s…” Another very strange, logic defying twist of magic.

Morgan cleared her head and tried to answer Macleod’s questions. “I woke up at the beginning of the week able to feel again. All my physical senses that went dull were back. It took some adjusting, but I think it was more or less how they were when I was alive. But then my body started decaying even when I was full, or more than full, and healing was fading and now it’s basically gone! So I’m basically rotting away for no discernable reason, and I get to be super physically aware of all of it. Also, I smell, so maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have any senses right now. When did your stuff start? I mean, none of this should be happening at all, because the undead are immune to spellcasting magic that engages with our body’s energy, as far as I can tell, and we’re immune to most drugs and toxins, and I haven’t found anyone else in town being effected like this, so it’s not the big cosmic town bullshit--but if we can get a timeline, maybe that will tell us...something.” She sighed and closed the book in her lap, staring off into anywhere but Macleod’s face. The whole world was slipping through their fingers, just when she’d thought it really did want them after all.

Curt laugh escaped Eilidh. “Yeah. You’re telling me.” Just her luck to be subjected to the worst game of peek-a-boo in existence. Maybe her soul truly did want to pass over, but this supposed magic was keeping her here? Maybe the universe was trying to remedy the fact she shouldn’t have remained—at least not in this form—but the magic tried to go against the very will of the cosmos? Thoughts followed that tangent until it caused a dizziness. Bah, there’s too many maybes and what-ifs. She snapped a finger, sharp noise bringing her back to the present. Mind focused on Morgan’s words, her own story. As such a tale unfolded, her face fell, allowing that worry bubbling inside to find itself in her eyes, her parted mouth. Just as quickly, her eyes tightened, mouth closed, jaws tightened. Resolve overcame the worry, gave her goal new fire. “Aye. That is real bad.” Especially when it started so promising—the worst kind. “Best we hop to it prompto, then. Know anything I can look over? Double-check? Triple-check?” The ways of magic, the ways others shifted the energies of the world to their will, was not a strong subject of hers. But perhaps there were other pieces of the puzzle her ever inquisitive eyes could find. She needed that hunt, after all. Needed something to do—when all things physical brought boredom at best, her mind frequently rushed into restlessness.

Eilidh recalled the start of this plight. “I died beginning of this week.” The same as Morgan’s own unfortunes; a fact that did not escape her. “Or alchemied this way. Or some other magic.” At this point, she wasn’t sure which was true. Death was more reasonable to her. Familiarity always felt more reasonable, and she was very familiar with death. But Morgan seemed convinced its cause was magically induced and, well, she was the expert in that regard. Not Eilidh. “Blinked out the first time a few days later. Didn’t think too much of it. ‘Til a few more days later when it kept happening.” How much longer would this affliction let her speak with Morgan? Would it rip her away mid-sentence, as it had with Milo? Sharp snap of fingers returned. Temptation to bite the nagging thoughts away surfaced—to subject another knuckle to her teeth. But the snap sufficed. For now.

Morgan sat back, thinking. The town had already been shifted in the cosmos by the time she and Macleod were affected. And no one else she spoke to, dead or undead, was feeling anything strange in their body. So why them? And how? It didn’t seem right that the universe should literally change its rules just to be cruel to them. And if an alchemy break-through was responsible for Macleod, it didn’t explain her progressive deterioration. She would have to be confined to a circle in order for that to be the case, and the energy required to continually re-write her body would be outrageous.

She looked over at Macleod, aching to give her an answer. “I only have a few general compendiums on the stuff, but maybe there’s some kind of sickness, or some kind of critter that can affect people like us. Like, bookwyrms and brain biters mess with people’s brains, and there’s plenty of necrophages out there maybe…” Some magic, universe defying critter happened to chomp on both of them without their noticing on the exact same night? Morgan could hardly stand to hope for the idea, it sounded ridiculous enough in her head. But she had to try. If she stopped trying, this thing would take her. “Maybe there’s one that can explain this. Weird abilities that make people incorporeal or mess with their magic composition. Um, it’s those thick ones back there--” She pointed. “Or you could check out the area, see if anything unusual is sniffing around. Every critter’s gotta eat and sleep somewhere.” She smiled feebly. “We’ll figure this out before it’s too late. We’ve got too much to live for, right?”

“Critters!” The word shot out like a bullet. That was more Eilidh’s forte. A hand returned thoughtfully to her lips, though a bite did not come. Her mind was moving far too fast to focus on anything physical. Feet began to pace without her knowledge, beating against the air as if they contributed to her movements anymore. “Those bees cause hallucinations…” What were they called again? Those dick-hive bees. She had still yet to encounter them personally—such a treat will have to wait when she finally visits… that woman. Knowledge was acquired specifically for said venture, so she really should remember… “Eintykara.” But as research came tumbling back into her mind, so did an issue. “No. Cold.” Such weathers would cause them to grow sluggish—springing into action now would make no sense. “Hm. Caballi?” Her encounter with one had been very brief, but James’ was much more intimate. And she had certainly heard stories that mimicked their own. Of ghosts being attacked by them. Or more accurately, being fed upon by them. Could be the cause of their deterioration, those astral feedings. Perhaps they can affect zombies too? “But never saw…” They weren’t exactly invisible, to people like them. But much of them was left unknown, on this world at least. Could be a special sort?

More ideas flowed into Eilidh’s mind. And just easily flowed back out—conflictions and contradictions found in every sort. Though the universe was vast and wide and full of exceptions. Hardly anything could be said with certainty. And hardly everything was stored in her mind—that vastness refusing to be contained in just one thing. Or even in one world; creatures not found in any book had laid just beyond those cracks in the air. One, or two, or more could’ve slipped through. “You could be onto something.” Her feet stilled, and it was only then she realized she had been on the move at all. But they already missed that constant motion. Focus turned to the mentioned books, causing a chuckle to stir. “Would. But these guys do whatever the hell they want.” She wiggled her fingers and they blended and meddled together, like waves crashing into each other. “I’ll look ‘round. You focus on the books. We’ll see this through.” There was an attempt to turn and leave, but something held her there just a moment longer. Those hints of decay sprinkled on Morgan’s form—some grown worse over the course of their conversation. “Think you’ll manage?” The question spanning far beyond just Morgan’s research capability.

With the way Macleod lit up at the suggestion, Morgan could actually start to believe they were onto something. The world was full of strange things and there was so much they didn’t know. Of course if it wasn’t someone it had to be something. Maybe even a creature from another dimension. Some of the critters in those portals had probably gotten stuck on this side when Adam closed them, too, and maybe that was why they couldn’t understand the rules this infection worked on.

Morgan met Macleod’s eyes bravely. They were looking for a needle in a haystack. It might take weeks to comb through all of White Crest and identify the exact creatures they were looking for, especially if they turned out to be beyond sapient record on this world. But they would figure it out, wouldn’t they?

Somewhere beyond them, bewildered geese flapped their way to the sky and called to each other for safety, snow crunched under tired feet, a wind blew through the hollow tunnels of the world. Morgan took it all in, staring through the frosted windows. This was a world that buried its secrets better than its dead, but it was also one where life persisted in the most bitter cold. If anyone was proof of that, surely it was her and Macleod. And Morgan had a future to get to; Macleod probably did too, and if she didn’t, she deserved to stick around long enough to come up with one. So she had to be okay. There wasn’t room in this scenario for her not to be.

Morgan summoned her best smile and hoped with all she had that Macleod believed it and let some of the warmth rub off on her. “I’ve got this. And so do you. Death cut us a break once, right? Twice should be just as easy.”

That smile filled the air, found its way on Eilidh’s face, lifting her spirits in turn. Hell yeah. They had this. That implication hung in the air, threatened to bring it all back down. The one where she died. This soul she carried certainly had—will again. And technically death had touched her a few days prior. But the implication ran deeper than that, tied her to an assumption she kept getting chained to. But she did not let that weight touch her; only a twitch of a brow, a tighten of lips, betrayed these thoughts. Resolve kept her steady—kept them both just the same. Fate may try to give them a losing hand, but she’ll keep playing until a full house. And if not, well, seems she’s had her time then. Her soul will enjoy more, if these pesky blinks didn’t consume her in totality. For fate was hungry this week—eating away at her very soul, at Morgan’s very flesh. Was it feeding on others? How far did this hunger spread? She had no mind, no time to worry about passerbyers on the street. Those teeth readied to pierce again, steal more of them away. But she’ll try her hand at dentistry and rip them out before all was taken. “Good to hear! Let’s give this a–”

She vanished.

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Would You Rather... (V’s Birthday!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIHYUN!💙 This was done in haste, so I know it’s not much and it’s pretty rough haha. Writing has been...difficult lately, but I just wanted to get something out for our favourite mint man’s birthday. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Tomorrow I’m gonna be reading and reblogging a bunch of Jihyun birthday/Jihyun week fics. I’m behind on my reading hehe, but I’m too tired tonight and I gotta focus on all the wonderful writing. So prepare for the Jihyun spam tomorrow ;)

Word count: ~ 1000

***

“Okay okay okay,” MC snorted, the wine in her glass sloshing dangerously close to the rim as she adjusted her position on the couch, “it’s your turn.”

Jihyun chuckled in return, his cheeks starting to ache from grinning. Not that he noticed nor cared in the slightest, “Would you rather...have a cat or a dog?”

“Jihyun, that’s so boring!”

“I don’t know what to ask!”

“Just whatever! What do you wanna know about me?”

He nudged her knee with his, his smile growing wider than he thought possible, “Do I not know everything already?”

“Absolutely not. There’s always more to learn about a person through a game of ‘Would You Rather’.”

“Hmm…” Jihyun sat back, eyeing MC with curiosity. “Okay, would you rather be able to stop time or rewind it?”

“THERE WE GO! GOOD question,” she beamed, sitting up straight and crossing her legs, much like an excited child eager to tell a story, “I think rewind time, because then you can relive all your best moments however many times you like!”

Jihyun sipped his wine, the one Jumin had generously gifted him during their earlier celebrations. He was genuinely intrigued by her response, “Would that not make those moments less special if you go over them again and again?”

“I don’t think so, not if they’re your very best memories. Those never get duller, no matter what.”

“Interesting, I think I would choose the ability to stop time.”

“Oh really? How come?”

Jihyun leant back, wondering how seriously she wanted him to answer. By the chin propped on her palm and her unwavering eye contact, he decided to give her a wholly honest answer. “I find that time often goes too fast, and I just want to pause it every now and then so a moment doesn’t slip away. Like today, where on earth has the time gone? When we were all sitting together, laughing and eating and singing in some cases.”

MC chuckled at the memory of Saeyoung and Yoosung singing ‘happy birthday’ - or screaming, rather -  at the top of their lungs, as Zen and Jaehee watched on in horror. Jumin and MC quietly laughed at their antics, just as she caught Jihyun’s eye. He was glowing, beaming. Not just because it was his birthday, but because he got to be with those he cherished most. His joy was palpable.

“I just didn’t want it to end,” Jihyun continued, “and I’ve been having more of those moments lately...they never used to happen before.”

“Don’t you think that if those moments are becoming more frequent, it’s a sign of many more to come? So really, that sense of joy that you feel in those times aren’t actually slipping through your fingers, but are actually always in your grasp?”

He enveloped her hand with his, giving it a light squeeze as the corners of his mouth lifted, “You’re right. As long as I have you, love, then I don’t have anything to worry about.”

A comfortable silence fell on the room, both of them enjoying the quiet after a wonderful but fatiguing day. Drowsiness started to creep up on Jihyun, caused by both the celebrations and the wine in his hand. His eyelids fell shut and his muscles became heavy as he brought his glass to his lips, savouring the taste of the last drops of Merlot...

“Would you rather have finger-sized nipples or nipple-sized fingers?”

...Only to spit it out again. He was suddenly grateful that the floors weren’t carpet.

The previously soundless home was instantly filled with laughter; full-bellied, unfettered laughter. MC clutched her stomach as tears fell freely down her cheeks, and Jihyun couldn’t help but just watch. Here they both were, all giggly and tipsy, with such a genuine and extreme fondness for life. She was right, he didn’t want time to stop at that moment. He wanted to create a life where moments like this were never short in supply.

“Sorry sorry hold-hold on,” she squeaked, grabbing a tissue from the coffee table and climbing onto her boyfriend, reaching for his face which was currently dripping crimson, “let me get that for you, sir.”

“You’re out of control, you know that?” Though he couldn’t hide his enjoyment. It was written all over his face.

“Absolutely, but you love me for it.”

He scooped her up, the squeal that escaped her lips making his laughter double. Wrapping his arms around her form as her head lay on his chest, Jihyun kissed the top of her head and let out a sigh, appreciating the way she snuggled into him.

“I love you for everything you are. Thank you for making today so special.”

“You’re always welcome, my darling. I love you. Just promise you won’t stop time if given the chance?”

Jihyun chortled and nuzzled her hair, “I would never. I still have so many adventures to go on with you.”

MC lifted her head and planted a soft but enthusiastic kiss on his mouth, letting the taste of red wine and the feel of his plush lips on hers consume her senses. Everything about him was so soft, so warm. As she pulled away, she marvelled at the way his blushed cheeks contrasted his hair. He was a work of art, in both his looks and his soul.

“I can’t wait, Jihyun.” She resumed her place on his torso and let her eyelids flutter shut, “And don’t be afraid of time flying. Fly with it.”

Her words replayed in his head as he drifted into the realm of sleep, the light of his life in his arms and the weight of her on his body acting as the perfect reminder that she was there. No matter how much time seemed to slip by, she was a constant, and that was enough to ease his fretful mind.

***

Not my best, I know haha, but I wanted to give Jihyun some birthday love! Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day🦋💙

[3laxx]

When the Dream ends - Chapter 3

Luz and Amity have a sleepover and Boscha has a breakdown

TRIGGER WARNING - BLOOD - INJURY - PANIC ATTACK

For everyone who is easily triggered by panic or panic attacks, I recommend not reading any further than the Lumity part of this chapter. You won't need the entire Boscha part, just know she's incredibly distraught and has a lot of confusing emotions about fault and making up for it. She has a full-blown panic attack (actually I wrote myself into one thanks to this) and I recommend continuing on your own responsibility. There will be more on Boscha's state and her feelings on the situation in a calmer and safer scene later on. You won't miss anything if you skip this part. A lot of it was already mentioned in the actual scene of the accident and Amity's nightmare. Boscha's feelings will resurface later on and you will know how she feels in future chapters if you don't feel comfortable reading panic attacks with physical reactions.

I'M SERIOUS. ONLY READ IF YOU FEEL ABSOLUTELY SURE, THERE'S NO SHAME IN NOT READING IT.

Ao3 / FF.net

---

It still took Luz a few days to walk by herself again and she hated every second.

Well, not the seconds when Eda and King were visiting. And she loved every second Amity spent with her. And she also enjoyed all the seconds while Willow and Gus were visiting.

Skara, Cat, and Amelia had also paid her a visit and Luz had enjoyed having them all over. They were gentle and careful around her and even helped her get up once to get some snacks from down the hall, even if Amity had protested them carrying Luz.

In the end, it had been a lot of fun though, and they had giggled all the while two of them carried her to the vending machine and two carried her back by interlocking their hands and having Luz sit on them while wrapping her arms around their necks.

Amity had helped to carry her back and Luz had grinned at her constantly, knowing the girl had needed to warm up to her old friends showing up and not being bullies.

Viney, Jerbo, and Barcus had also shown up for a short visit, and Luz and Amity had coincidentally invited over Edric and Emira at the same time, giggling to themselves when Emira had started flirting with the unamused Viney until she had shot back a flirty line only to leave Emira a hot mess.

So, she guessed she didn’t hate every single second of it.

But the walking, the slow progress, and the lonely nights had been horrible.

When she had finally gotten the permission to leave, she had celebrated, even if Eda had put her under strict supervision over the weekend before letting her back to Hexside. She didn’t mind, though.

Strict supervision usually meant games, snacks, and movies, and having friends over once Eda had to get some stuff, run her business of human phenomena or do undisclosed business at undisclosed places.

So, Luz was super happy to be back in the Owl House over the weekend, naturally. With Eda’s permission, she had quickly invited Amity, Willow, and Gus over, but Willow and Gus had other things on their schedule – something about a forgotten homework and some tunnel Gus was babbling about, even if Luz had thought his tunnel underneath Hexside had already been finished.

Having Amity over was really cool, too. Especially since Eda had already announced she’d be out this evening, so she was looking forward to watching a movie and spending the evening with Amity.

 ---

“So, what do you wanna watch?”, Luz began, already grinning at Amity. The girl just shrugged at that, a small smile on her lips. “Your descriptions were a little-… Enthusiastic. Why don’t we just watch something you wanna watch?”

Luz grimaced at that and then pouted at Amity, causing her to chuckle.

“But I like all of these movies! Giving me the choice would break me!”

Amity immediately pointed at a random cover then, her eyes blown wide. She absolutely didn’t want Luz to break over something like this. The girl laughed.

“Okay, that one. That’s the super cute romance!”

Amity suppressed a sigh. Well, this was going to be easy, right?

She only had to make it through 2 hours of two characters getting together, kissing, building up chemistry, without projecting it onto her and Luz.

Already flushing, Amity pressed herself into the backrest and pulled up the blanket while Luz prepared the movie on her magic box, before returning to the couch as well with quite some effort and sitting close to Amity, close enough so she could steal the other half of Amity blanket.

Yelping, she tried hiding her face, then she looked up.

“… Is that too warm for you?”, the teenager asked her, obviously referring to Amity’s red face, but she quickly shook her head while the movie began, trying a smile.

“N-No! I like that.”

Luz smiled and grabbed the snack box, putting it between their thighs on top of the blanket, then the first scene started playing. A short-haired girl introduced herself, and the human world she was living in, before saying she was different than all the others. She was a lesbian.

Immediately, Amity suppressed rolling her eyes.

Suited her right that she had to pick the gay movie.

Luz already giggled at the introduction, then she turned to Amity, way closer than she had expected, making her blush. She was just glad the lights were dimmed now.

“That’s so cliché. I like this movie, but it stays as shallow with the LGBTQ community throughout.”

Amity tried controlling her blazing face.

“Wh-What do you mean?”

Luz shrugged at that, leaning back again and Amity felt herself relaxing, thankfully, “You know, all the drama about it. In movies like these, it’s a huge deal to be gay, and it’s either the scared, closeted character or the over-the-top gay who acts extra. There’s so much more to LGBTQ than that. I was actually quite glad that homosexuality isn’t as big a deal on the Boiling Isles as it is in the human realm. I don’t think it’s even recognized as different here, is it?”

Amity furrowed her eyebrows at that.

“It’s a problem to like the same gender in the human realm?”

For a few minutes, Luz watched the movie when the introduction was over and the story began, then she sighed and shrugged.

“That’s a topic for another time, I suppose.”, she finally said and Amity softly took her hand. Something in Luz’s words sounded heavy, clouded by something that must’ve happened. Pressing pause, Luz looked over to Amity and she slanted her lips.

“Are you sure?”, she finally asked and the human hummed, then she nodded.

“Yes. Don’t worry, I never had problems with that, because my mother is really open-minded and nobody else knew I was bi. But for many others, it’s a huge problem. It’s even a crime to be gay in some places. You’ll see what’s about it in that movie. Let’s just watch?”

Despite the worrying information about the human realm, Amity couldn’t help but replay that one thing Luz had said all over again in her head, even when the movie started picking up and the story got interesting.

She had hoped that Luz was interested in the same gender as well, even if she hadn’t really minded because, in her home, the different sexualities didn’t really matter. But hearing Luz confirming that she wasn’t straight was a relief, almost.

The longer the movie carried on, with the main character starting to chat with another gay girl online, getting problems keeping their sexuality a secret, and finally, everyone turning away from her when it came out. Amity followed the movie wide-eyed, learning how problematic it apparently was in the human realm, while Luz’s head got heavier and heavier.

She still couldn’t concentrate long on something, partly because of her ADHD but also because of the accident. Her mind needed rest.

When it finally got too much, her head dropped on Amity’s shoulder and she finally relaxed. With her head secured, she adjusted the rest of her body now, wrapping one arm across her lap, then she smiled softly and dozed off.

She couldn’t even notice Amity freezing up and blushing furiously again. And she didn’t see Amity’s eyes widening, or her heart skipping a beat. Sleep had taken her fully, leaving Amity to finish the movie by herself. Even if she found the story compelling, though, she couldn’t exactly concentrate anymore once Luz had fallen asleep on her.

Deciding to finish the movie on her own, Amity just settled against her and smiled softly. This was very nice. And before she knew it, she had fallen asleep as well.

 ---

Finally, it was the weekend and Boscha could be home again.

Away from the curious eyes, away from people asking her how she was, what happened and how Luz was doing. She had mostly relied on her friends to keep her out of the crossfire, something Amelia, Skara, and Cat had more than gladly done, but it had only helped so much. Every single gaze, every single question, reduced her to what had happened about ten days ago. And every single time it brought her back to these moments, minutes, she had spent kneeling in the human’s blood and trying to keep her alive.

Her parents, mostly her father, had been understanding enough to schedule her some emergency therapy sessions, and allowed her to stay out of school for a few days. While the therapy sessions had definitely helped, and she had been able to convince her parents she’d need them for a bit longer, she still felt as though this incident followed her every step.

When she looked out the window to see the forest, when she lied down to sleep, when she got up and when she ate. Throughout her whole day, the memories followed her, bothered her, taunted her.

She had injured Luz this way. She had thrown that ball, and her teammates had tried stopping her. She was at fault, she could’ve had this never happen. She should’ve stopped.

Tiredly, Boscha crawled under her sheets and buried her face in the pillow. This was unbearable.

Injuring another witch like that had never made her feel so guilty. Probably mostly because witches were more durable than humans. They could get back up, their injuries healed faster.

Seeing the human knocked out like this, seeing her bleeding out and dying, had been a rapid change from what Boscha knew.

She knew she had acted right after she had realized what she had done. She knew that she had reacted faster than all of them and that she had done the right thing, giving everyone tasks, avoiding them to slip into shock right there and freeze up. She had done the right thing.

That still didn’t excuse that she had done the wrong thing before. That didn’t make anything better, except that Luz was still alive, and well, as Amity had told her. It didn’t make her suffering better. It didn’t make it easier that she would have to adjust and live with what she had done.

Once again, her eyes burned and she growled. She had been crying a lot these days, something she hadn’t done before. She’d also had a lot of nightmares. Nightmares of the human dying, of everyone blaming Boscha.

She had shot up in bed in a cold sweat and cried, cried all night long until she had fallen asleep for the next nightmare again.

But she couldn’t face Luz yet. She couldn’t face her.

In her memories she was always so grey, surrounded by red, and draining of life. She was so weak and helpless and completely at Boscha’s mercy. Boscha liked bossing people around but, never like this. At her mercy, not responding. Still.

She gulped again.

The human’s soft, raspy breaths when she had leaned down to check for it.

Closing her eyes, Boscha groaned again and shook her head. She had never anticipated this, she had never wanted this. And now she was feeling so sick, so twisted. She had done the wrong thing, then the right, and she felt so guilty for both.

By the first throw, she should’ve already known the human wasn’t playing. She should’ve known the human was in real danger at the very moment she had seen the fear flashing in her eyes. But she hadn’t reacted to that, even liked the fear. Because she never would’ve thought something would actually happen. Nothing had happened to Luz before. Nothing would happen to them, they were just teens, right?

And then it had happened. The sickening crack still shook Boscha to her core. The ball leaving her hand and the crack that had followed when she had crushed Luz’s skull against the stone. The flashbacks were coming again and Boscha curled up under her blanket, baring her teeth.

When the human had been thrown back, her eyes rolling upwards and her torso collapsing in itself as the spine was turned to cracked pebbles. She winced.

Then the blood. She hadn’t registered how the wound looked like at first, but the more her shock faded, the more her brain gave her all the details she had burned into her memories by accident. When she had run over and remembered faintly not to damage Luz’s spine more. When, for a super scary second, her hands had hovered helplessly and she had done nothing.

She still dreaded that moment. It couldn’t have been longer than the blink of an eye but her memory stretched it to hours, unmoving, terrifying hours of dread while she stared down at the broken human, hearing her rasping breaths and letting the shock take over her.

And then that moment ended. When she snapped into action.

Her fingers reaching down finally, feeling as though she had just cracked a cover of ice over her skin when she moved, breaking free of her frozen state. The soft pulse, so weak and fragile, underneath her fingertips, her skin getting slick with the warm blood spilling from the human.

She remembered faintly how her grandmother, as strict as she had been, had been baking with her once. Her grandmother hadn’t taken any shit. Especially not from the spoiled five-year-old brat who hadn’t wanted to knead the dough or do the dishes by hand. She remembered her stepping behind the child and folding up her sleeves, before grabbing her hands and forcing them down into the sticky goo. Telling her, “When you work in the kitchen, you don’t use your fingertips and keep your hands clean. You can wash them after. Now knead it properly, child.”

She had done the same with Luz. Not fearing the blood getting on her, not fearing her hands getting dirty. She had just jumped to action, done the right thing, not minded any blood no matter how thick and slimy and warm it had felt on her hands. As if it was holding onto the skin by which it had been trapped before, begging for a way back in.

Luz had been facing down on the ground, and she would never forget the kind of awkward angle her spine had been in. Even in this lying position, she had seen the dangerous injury she had given the human.

Her eyes had flitted from her back to her fingers on her neck, then up to the back of her head. Where the laceration of the hit was. Boscha felt herself getting sick while her body started shivering uncontrollably.

The wound had been horrifying. She hadn’t paid attention to the details when she had been in the situation, but her mind would never forget. How the hair had been flattened down and dampened by red blood, how it had darkened her hair and flowed down her neck, down her back underneath her uniform, and down the sides of her face. The exposed flesh, something hard and red and-… Dark sitting underneath the pulled-back skin. The cracked skull.

Boscha convulsed, then she pressed a hand to her mouth while a pathetic whimper escaped her throat. She had done this. She had thrown the ball that had the speed to split open skin, crack bones. She heaved, then she finally got up to stumble to her bathroom that was attached to her room, and threw up in the toilet.

She would never forget how it moved. How she watched the wound oozing, how she had watched the skin moving with every slight movement of the human.

And the worst had been that, while Luz had been knocked out completely, her eyes had been half-open. She had seen the pain on the human’s face, the whites of her eyes, and the flitting iris sometimes coming into view when her eyes rolled.

Her knees had been damp, she could still feel it while kneeling in front of the toilet. She mistook the cold tiles beneath her knees as wetness, she was sure. But when she looked down, there was red.

Immediately, her eyes watered, and her torso convulsed again, forcing her to heave on an empty stomach. The blood-soaked pajamas climbed up her legs, and she remembered how her clothes stuck to her after that. No matter how much she had scrubbed when she had gotten home, she would never get rid of the iron smell, or the slight, faint coloring of a darker shade, of the dried, edges of the blood on her pink skin.

Desperately gripping the toilet seat, she leaned the side of her face against the edge and sobbed.

She still remembered how warm her forehead had felt when she had checked for Luz’s breathing. She still knew how it had felt, leaning over the human, pressing her forehead into the pool of blood, and feeling her hair getting dampened by the liquid.

She still remembered the raspy breaths, the heaving, and the blood sticking to her hair and face and getting everywhere. She could still feel the cold air hitting her blood-soaked skin when she had leaned back to bark more instructions, and checked Luz’s pulse again. The droplets out of her hair, running down her head, around her ears, down her temples and nose, getting in her eyes and mouth and tasting like iron.

She faintly remembered not wiping it away.

And Amity’s screaming. Her insults, the despair. Titan, the love from that girl. Boscha was glad she had instructed Amelia to trap her in a cage. But that hadn’t made her screams easier to bear, her screams that had morphed into the voice inside Boscha’s head that had been pestering her ever since that accident had started sinking in.

Finally, when they had turned Luz around and Boscha had done her best not to look at the wound, the skull moving when they moved her, her breaths coming to a stop. The sudden silence after the raspy, uneven breaths.

She had leaned down and listened and had heard it, heard Luz’s last breath in another reality, had she not started CPR. She was just glad she was on the grudgby team and everyone suspected harsh injuries in that sport.

It was completely uncommon in the demon realm to perform CPR because either the body of a witch or demon was fast enough to recover or there simply wasn’t enough left to perform CPR on. Boscha was one of the few people in the school, including some teachers, the healing track students, and the grudgby players to even know that practice.

It had been deafening.

Even tuning out Amity’s screams and sobs, and her own intrusive thoughts.

The sudden break had shocked Boscha more than she had anticipated. She only knew breathing. She had known it when her father had held her as a child, she had known it with her sister, and her friends sleeping over and breathing in their sheets while Boscha had lied awake. She had known breathing from Amity, from her panic attacks when they had gotten older, the hyperventilation, and the quickening breaths she had let out. She knew it from Amity when they curled up together, seeking each other’s comfort in their mothers’ competition. She had known breathing in her first kiss, and in the silence of a classroom during an exam. There was always breathing around her.

Hell, some houses in the Boiling Isles were breathing.

And yet, Luz had stopped.

It had been unnerving, understanding that the human had just stopped breathing. Her brain wouldn’t work it out until way later, in the situation she had known it was bad and had known what to do.

But now that she was pushing away from the toilet and leaning against the wall next to it, crying and sobbing hysterically into her arms?

She understood what it had meant, beyond bad.

It had meant Luz had just been moments from her death. She doesn’t think anyone but Skara, who had heard it, too, knew what that had meant. Willow had only sat on Luz’s feet and heard and understood what Boscha had said, but she hadn’t watched the sudden drainage of life from Luz’s face, she hadn’t noticed the forced lifting and sinking of her chest stopping under her hand and she hadn’t heard her last breath.

She hadn’t felt the pulse under Boscha’s fingertips weakening, hiccupping, stopping. Then restarting, before stilling again.

But Boscha had, Boscha had felt and heard and noticed it all, and she had realized what that had meant. Someone had jokingly told her once, that the soul of a being left its vessel with the last breath. Boscha had seen Luz’s last breath, she had seen the life fleeting from her body so fast that she had been scared that she wouldn’t be fast enough.

Letting out a feral scream, Boscha buried her head on her knees and clamped her arms over her head. The world vanished in static when the panic attack took full hold of her now. Her fingertips were uncomfortably pulsing and itching under her skin, mockingly, reliving the feeling of Luz’s pulse getting too weak for her to feel anymore, reminding her of the sudden lack of life.

She knew Luz hadn’t died at that moment, she knew it took a moment still, but it had certainly felt like it.

Her socks kicked against the floor in a desperate attempt to make herself smaller, press her back harder against the tiled wall, and the itching in her fingertips spread to her knuckles, to her palms and wrist, and down her lower arms. Suddenly, she had to get the sleeves off. Ripping her arms off her head, she tried rolling her sleeves up in unpracticed, frantic movements, starting to scratch her skin to get rid of the uncomfortable itching, but it wouldn’t stop. The blood was soaking her skin, the red was crawling up and the itching got worse until she finally ripped her shirt off and started rubbing over her arms, up and down and not noticing that she scrubbed it sore, turning it red, much lighter than the human’s blood.

How the wound on the back of Luz’s head hadn’t stopped bleeding, and how wet it had sounded, Luz’s head rolling around despite Skara’s grip on her to keep her crushed spine straight enough for Boscha to perform CPR. How stupid Boscha had been not to cover the wound. Had she even been supposed to? She didn’t even know now.

Another scream ripped through her throat and she squinted her eyes, biting her teeth together so hard it hurt, while her arms were still working over her biceps, shoulders, and whatever she could reach of her back. She saw the human convulsing, her belly rising and falling with each violent push she had given her chest, compressing the air that was left. As if she was breathing but not quite.

How stale and like iron her lips had tasted when she had blown air into her mouth, hoping so badly that she hadn’t suffered a wound in there somewhere so Boscha wouldn’t force blood into her lungs.

Amity’s screams had become one with the voice in her head, screaming at her to do better than what she had done.

And then, nothing anymore.

When Luz had been gone, and the storm in Boscha’s head had calmed down, the static had died out in the silence. Amity’s weak sobs, Willow’s soft reassurances, and Skara’s and Amelia’s shocked breaths, hitching every now and then when they collapsed in emotional and mental exhaustion.

Boscha whimpered and sobbed more, still rubbing over her arms frantically and still trying to push herself further into the wall.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps, fast footsteps approaching, and the door to her bathroom flew open. Before she knew what was happening, her mother’s arms were around her and her father kneeled in front of her. His expensive business pants got soaked in blood, so much blood that was covering all the floor, Luz’s blood. Boscha whimpered again, when her mother pulled her in, when her father flushed the toilet and sat down beside her as well, his arms wrapping around her cooling back, keeping her away from the wall just a little at least.

She managed to control her crying and whimpering the best she could, softly sobbing now, and felt her mother’s unruly hair on her neck and her nose in her hair.

Her parents held her close, not even caring that she didn’t have a shirt on, and as soon as she had calmed down a little at least, her father started soaking toilet paper in cold water to soothe her burning skin. She felt her mother chastising him, but he was so helpless, and Boscha didn’t want him to stop. Plus, it did help.

Sighing, she finally relaxed into her mother’s embrace and felt her father softly drying her arms again, then she was coaxed up by him, and led back into her room. She barely felt her mother lifting her arms and covering her with the shirt again. It was on backward, but it wasn’t important.

Her father scooped her up in his arms and started carrying her outside, causing a slight, irritating call from his wife, but he just spoke back in a calm voice before carrying her out. Her head was rested against his chest and she heard his heart beating.

Vaguely opening her eyes, she saw that he was aiming for her parents’ bedroom. Looking behind, she saw her mother closing the door to her room and carrying her blanket, before following them.

This was a privilege she would not pass up. Being able to sleep in her parents’ bed at least for tonight. Her parents believed in independence much like Amity’s, but she knew they had her back if something happened.

And if it left their daughter traumatized, they would move mountains for her. In the caring department, her parents weren’t that bad, even if there was mostly discipline in it, but the loving didn’t come too short in exceptional situations. She supposed this was one.

Her father lowered her down in the middle of the bed and kissed her forehead, before crawling in in his side and getting under his blanket, while wrapping his arm around her waist and keeping her close. Boscha managed an exhausted smile, then she felt a gust of wind, and her blanket sunk down on her before she felt her mother getting into bed as well and adding her arm around Boscha’s waist as well. She knew her mother wasn’t the most affectionate type, but she appreciated the effort she had put in today.

It was much needed.

With her father’s breath deepening, and her mother’s humming, she slowly felt herself getting drowsy and falling asleep. She had a feeling she’d have a nightmare tonight again.

But maybe, just maybe, she’d be exhausted enough not to dream at all.

And maybe the presence of her parents would also help her through this.

---

I will go now and uh. Calm down.

[chasing-classics]

Welcome to the Slaughterhouse (3/3) Miguel x Reader x Angel

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Reader x Miguel Galindo

 Warning(s): mentions of domestic violence and sexual assault, angst, language, SMUT. If any of these trigger you, please don’t read.

 Summary: In the final installment you deal with the aftermath of the dinner and the truth is finally revealed.

PART 1 , PART 2

 ‘’Mrs. Galindo. . .do you need a moment?’’

 You looked up at Agent Potter, your lips pulled in a thin line as he gazed back you with an obviously fake smile. His smile reminded you of Miguel’s, it was the same smile Miguel wore constantly to appear polite. In reality it was the smile of a snake in the grass or a wolf among the flock.

 ‘’I’m fine,’’ your eyes narrowed as you offered a faux smile of your own.

 ‘’Great,’’ Potter clasped his hands together as he took his seat across the table from you. You instantly sat up straight, hands folded together on the table. You noticed Potter eyeing your wedding ring for a brief second before his attention returned to you.

 ‘’Shall we begin?’’

 ‘’We shall.’’

 ‘’Can you tell me who killed your husband, Miguel Galindo?’’

 ~~~~~~~Three hours earlier~~~~~~~

 You felt your body tremble as you stared at the body of your husband. It was a sight you had often thought about, but at the same time you never truly wanted to happen. As much as you hated him for the vile things he did to you and the cruel things he would hiss at you while he was beating the shit out of you or using your body for his own selfish desires, you never wanted it to come to this. There had been a time where you would’ve moved Heaven and Earth for Miguel, and he would’ve done the same for you. The beginning was completely different.

 ‘’Miguel,’’ you laughed, your boyfriend wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you back into your shared bed.

 ‘’Five more minutes, mi amor,’’ his voice was groggy from barely waking up, but you could tell he was grinning as he peppered kisses across your shoulder.

 You shifted to face him, gazing down at his handsome face. He smiled right back at you.

 ‘’Marry me,’’ he whispered. Your jaw fell slack. ‘’That’s not funny, Mikey,’’ you chastised, the heat rising to your cheeks as you stared at this absolutely perfect man. He sat up and you couldn’t help but stare at his bare chest. The sweetest smile was on his face as he turned to his nightstand and pulled out a small velvet box.

 ‘’Miguel?’’ you gasped as he opened the box.

 ‘’I love you, y/n. And I don’t want to spend another day without you sharing my last name and seeing this on your finger. I want to grow old with you, watch our children and grandchildren run around and grow up. I want you to be completely, fully, unconditionally mine. Will you marry me?’’

 ‘’Y/n?’’ Nestor’s voice brought you out of your memories, looking away from Miguel’s body as Nestor handed you a handkerchief to wipe the blood off the side of your face. You took it and nodded your thanks before turning to Adelita.

 ‘’You should go, they’ll be here any second,’’ you warned.

 She nodded, and you held out your hand to her. She clasped it and offered a small, sympathetic smile. She looked at Angel, who was still clearly in shock. Like a phantom, she took her men and retreated from the house into the wine cellar.

Your eyes then fell on Angel, who shakily took a step towards you before encompassing you in a warm embrace.

 ‘’What did you do, querida?’’

 ‘’What I had to.’’

 ~~~~~~~~~~Six Months Ago~~~~~~~~~~

 You whimpered as you limped through the tunnels, the soreness between your legs a familiar feeling that you’ve grown accustomed to in your marriage with Miguel. The blanket that war thrown over you protected you from the night wind as well as anyone whose allegiance was to your husband. Nestor was currently with Miguel, keeping him occupied. You knew your mission and you were well aware of what was at stake. With every step you took your prayers grew, begging any guardian angel or divine deity that your plan would work. By the time you reached your destination Adelita and Bishop were already standing.

 ‘’What the hell is she doing here?’’ Bishop visibly tensed up, Tranq and Taza in the background lowered their arms; hands near their holsters.

 You immediately lifted your arms, showing that you meant no harm.

 ‘’She’s with me,’’ Adelita answered, her eyes reminding you of a rattlesnake; ready to strike if provoked.

 ‘’I came because I need your help,’’ you mustered as much courage as you possibly could.

 The men visibly relaxed albeit not much. You couldn’t blame them, here was the wife of their employer and enemy. Miguel was a very powerful man who was not above using violence to get his way. They had every reason to distrust you.

 ‘’Obispo,’’ a gruff voice called out among the shadows.

 When Alvarez made his presence known Bishop’s mouth opened in both shock and confusion. The former patriarch of the Mayans stood by your side, offering a comforting hand on your shoulder. You nodded your thanks to him before you both looked at Bishop.

 ‘’Now can we talk?’’

 The four of you sat at the Mayans’ Templo, each of you tense with uneasiness. The silence was thick and heavy and you knew they were waiting for an explanation.

 ‘’As you know, Miguel is a powerful man. He is a violent man. I know he takes advantage of his influence over your club,’’ you began.

‘’For as long as I’ve known Miguel he has craved power. Power over the cartel. Power over the club, the rebels. Power over me. Everyday for the last two years he has beaten me, raped me, threatened my very life, and has tried breaking me in every sense of the word,’’ you couldn’t help the quiver in your voice as countless nights of abuse replayed themselves in your head.

Bishop shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but the sympathetic look in his eyes was beginning to show.

‘’You’re a very smart man, Bishop. You know about Angel,’’ the way Adelita averted her eyes at the mention of his name filled you with jealousy for a split second before it evaporated.

 ‘’You’re going to get us all killed,’’ Bishop sighed.

 ‘’Primo, hear her out,’’ Alvarez’s strong voice filled you with the encouragement to continue you so desperately needed.

 ‘’We all have a common enemy,’’ you pointed out.

 ‘’We made a deal with your husband, Mrs. Galindo,’’ Bishop all-but spat out your marital name.

 ‘’An unfair deal,’’ Adelita cut him off, voice sharp. His gaze was redirected as the Rebel Queen.

 ‘’Y/n came to me shortly before the deal with Galindo was made. I’ve seen her scars, her bruises. I’ve seen the mark of the devil on her skin. He is vile, and he deserves to pay. Not just for her, but for every orphan whose parents were taken away by the cartel. For every widow, every mother whose child is buried in a grave due to the cartel. For the father and son who were burnt to a crisp due to his rage. I want vengeance. Galindo gave me Devante’s head, now I want his life,’’ Adelita’s stone cold voice sent shivers down your spine.

 After a moment or two of silence, Bishop sighed, ‘’Galindo has too many allies that will seek retribution against the club. I’m not endangering my men just so you two can settle the score with him.’’

 You shook your head. ‘’You’re wrong. Miguel has more enemies than allies, believe me. And you won’t be doing the killing. All I’m asking for is compliance. All I want is not to live in fear anymore. Nothing touches the club, nothing will touch Adelita.’’

 ‘’This is our chance to right his wrongs, primo. I’ve seen what he’s done. We’ve seen it. I took this position believing I could prevent him from becoming his father, but I was wrong; he’s much worse. He won’t stop until he’s dead,’’ Alvarez stared somberly at Bishop.

 Bishop sighed, rubbing his temple as he mulled over his options. His eyes met yours’.

 ‘’What about the cops? You think they’ll just turn the other cheek when they find his body and no murderer?’’

 ‘’Los Olvidados,’’ Adeltia began, ‘’will be taking the fall, but thanks to y/n and the Galindo’s resources, the FBI will not be able to track us. It’ll be all smoke and mirrors.’’

 ‘’What about Oceteva?’’ Bishop pointed out.

 ‘’Nestor is aware of my plan. He’s willing to be complicit. Nestor’s brother’s death wasn’t an accident. Miguel had him shot after he got wind that Nestor’s brother was planning to rat on the cartel. His body is currently in an unmarked grave.’’

 Bishop and Adelita’s eyes widened but they resumed their stoic statures. They shared a quick look with each other, to which Adelita nodded. Bishop glanced at Alvarez and you were able to breathe easier when you saw the resignation on the president’s face. He looked straight at you.

 ‘’Angel cannot know about this. Until this shit settles, you two act like normal. The less people involved in this; the better.’’

 ‘’They came out of nowhere. I believe they’re called Los Olvidados. My husband kept his business extremely private. But I remember him mentioning them. One minute we were having dinner with the Mayans, to discuss a potential partnership to take down the rebels, but before Miguel could mention anything. . .he was shot,’’ you tried your best to play the role of the grieving widow, and you were convinced you had done a decent job by the way Potter wasn’t immediately calling you out on your bullshit.

 ‘’Why did they not kill the rest of you?’’ Potter questioned, forehead crinkled in thought.

 ‘’I told you, it was only two or three of them, by the time the first shot was fired my husband’s security and the Mayans were ready to fight back. They came, shot my husband, and fled. I don’t know anything else other than my husband is dead and you’re sitting here like this is a game of cat and mouse,’’ you hissed.

 ‘’Oh Mrs. Galindo, or rather Ms. y/l/n now, I understand you have had a terrible loss. Losing a spouse is traumatic, but to have it happen right in front of you. . .’’ Potter abruptly stood, circling the room like a vulture with a bad hairdo.

 ‘’You are welcome to search my house if you’d like,’’ you steadied your voice.

 ‘’We already have my dear. Nothing. All we found was the tunnel that they used to enter your humble abode and that led us to the middle of nowhere. Strange isn’t it?’’ his voice sent chills down the back of your neck but you kept your face stoic. You couldn’t afford to screw this up when you had come this far.

 ‘’You’re free to go,’’ Potter stated after what felt like an eternity of silence. You suppressed the sigh of relief you so desperately wanted to take and stood up, walking calmly to the door.

 ‘’Oh wait. I do believe congratulations are in order,’’ Potter’s eerily cheerful voice made you stop dead in your tracks, the doorknob barely skimming your fingertips. You slowly turned to face him once more to find him holding a manila folder and sliding it across the table. You didn’t dare reach for it. You held eye contact and steadied yourself for whatever he was about to say.

 ‘’It appears you are nearly three-and-a-half months pregnant,’’ he smiled that sly fox smile of his as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You gulped and quickly turned the door handle and rushed out of the building. It wasn’t until you met Nestor, dutifully waiting by the limo that you burst into tears as he held you.

‘’It’s over, y/n,’’ he comforted you. You shook your head violently.

 ‘’I’m pregnant, Nestor,’’ you sobbed, suddenly feeling very nauseous. There had been a few days where you had forgotten to take your birth control, and the timeline was so twisted and uncertain that there was no definite answer to who was the father of your child. Nestor just held you.

 It had to have been early morning by the time you made it back to the house. Thankfully, Miguel’s body had been taken and although the house was in disarray from the FBI’s probing, you were grateful that you couldn’t make out where the blood stains were unless you truly stared long enough. You felt exhausted in every sense of the word as you slowly made your way to the staircase.

‘’He’s waiting for you,’’ Nestor’s voice rang out, making you pause. You sighed, feeling the tears already beginning to form once again. How could you tell him that you were pregnant? That there was a possibility the baby you were carrying wasn’t his, but that of your abusive husband’s? His half-brother. A child that was possibly conceived through rape. You felt like you were floating up the stairs, and before you knew it there was Angel waiting for you in the master bedroom. His eyes searched yours, looking to see if you were hurt. You let out a little breath and that was all it took before he dashed to you and held you against his chest while you sobbed.

 ‘’Shhh, mi amor. It’s ok I’m right here, I’m here,’’ he whispered while stroking your head.

 ‘’I think we should start trying,’’ Miguel stated as you both laid in bed, you curled up against him after making love.

 ‘’Really?’’ you whispered as you listened to the sound of his heartbeat thrumming within his chest.

 ‘’Why not?’’ Miguel grinned, looking down at you. ‘’You’re the love of my life, the woman I plan on marrying. A baby wouldn’t be the worst thing would it?’’

 You stayed quiet for a few seconds. You couldn’t help but think that Miguel was always the one to make the big decisions. Marriage, kids, what would be next? He had already snapped a few times at you, but you chalked it up to whatever family business he often referred to. Coupled with his mother’s untimely death a month ago, you could understand why your fiancé would be under pressure. Although his temper scared you, you loved him and believed things would only get better in time. You always wanted a family and to become the mother you never had growing up. While you often thought about a tall, dark-haired Casanova on a motorcycle, you loved Miguel. A baby wouldn’t be the end of the world, it would be a new start.

 ‘’I’ve always hated this room,’’ you sniffled, slowly walking around the much too large bedroom. Every inch of the room held a memory you desperately wished you could forget. Countless nights of screaming, crying, anger, and despair circulated within the room. Angel sat at the foot of the bed, carefully watching you and allowing you the space you needed to come to terms with the night’s events. Even he was exhausted, he knew your head had to be spinning right now. You picked up the picture of you and Miguel on your wedding day. You didn’t even recognize the girl in the white dress anymore. So naïve, so full of hope and love. You wished you could tell her to run as fast as she could before it all went to shit. Your knuckles turned white as you cleaned the picture frame.

 SMASH!

 You let out a howl of anguish as you chucked the picture against the opposite wall. Angel jumped up, startled. You tore at the velvet curtains until they were ripped off the rod. You picked up the bottles of perfume and cologne that were on the vanity and smashed them to the tiled floor. The smell of expensive, foreign perfume filled your senses as you totaled the room. The vase of flowers that Miguel had just bought you days ago was smashed to smithereens. Every shatter of glass, every shard of porcelain was lost as memories of him violating you and abusing you orbited your mind.

 ‘’Y/n,’’ Angel’s deep voice pulled you out of your rampage. The room was destroyed and finally matched the true image of what your marriage was really like. The veil was lifted, and here was what lied beneath it. You glanced at the wedding ring that was still on your finger. Before you could yank it off, Angel’s hand gently took hold of yours. You looked up at him, allowing him to slowly slide the ring off your finger and you winced at the clink it made as it was tossed to the ground. Angel held both of your cheeks in his hands, his forehead pressed against yours as your breathing evened out.

 ‘’I-I’m pregnant, Angel,’’ you whimpered, preparing yourself for his outburst. He stilled and you swallowed the sob that threatened to escape your lips.

 Angel’s lips crashed against yours, causing your eyes to snap back open. You weren’t sure if he heard you right, or maybe it hadn’t sunken in yet. When he pulled away your heart clenched as you struggled to piece together your words.

 ‘’Angel it might-,’’ you were hushed when he pressed another kiss to your lips. He pulled away once more and looked at you, tears threatening to spill from those beautiful chocolate brown eyes at any moment.

 ‘’Listen to me, alright? I love you so fucking much. I’d die for you, and I’d die for this baby. Because even if he isn’t mine, he’s yours’ and that’s all that fucking matters to me. You’re the best part of me, nena. You always have been. I’ll be damned if I lose you again. I can’t promise it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows and shit, but I promise I’m going to love you until they put me in the ground and even beyond that. I’m going to be there for you and this baby.’’

 Tears cascaded down your face, falling onto the floor as you crashed your lips onto Angel’s. The two of you backed up until you fell into the king-sized mattress. You tensed when you were able to still smell traces of Miguel, but you pulled your focus onto the man you had loved ever since you were a child. You hurriedly yanked off the elegant dress that you were still wearing, your body on full display for Angel to see. His eyes traced every curve of your body and his hand laid itself on your abdomen. The two of you undressed yourselves, too lost in each other to really give a shit about anything else. Miguel had taken away so much from you, but he was not going to take away this moment. This was your future. Angel was your future.

 The two of you rolled over as Angel kneeled before you. You instinctively spread your legs for him. It should’ve been illegal for him to look this good, hair slightly messed up as he kissed up your naked body in your marital bed. ‘’Angel please,’’ you gasped when he took one of your nipples into his mouth and hungrily suckled. His right hand toyed with the other as his other hand pinned your hips to the bed. You could feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your folds as you tried grinding against him.

 Your hands ran through his hair and scratched up his back while you threw your head back and moaned and whimpered Angel’s name.

 ‘’You’re so fucking beautiful,’’ his husky voice gave your butterflies that fluttered throughout your entire being.

 His kisses trailed up your neck, gently nipping and sucking on it while one of his hands crept towards your needy pussy. His thick fingers lazily rubbed at your clit and gathered some of your slickness before he shoved two of them into your tight opening. Your fingernails gently clawed at his shoulder blades, his knees preventing your legs from closing as he began fingering you.

 ‘’I’m going to make you cum on my hand before I make you milk my dick,’’ he groaned in your neck before nipping at your ear.

 You closed your eyes, your lips open as you panted from the way his fingers thrusted into you. The sounds emitting from the two of you were sinful and heavenly all at the same time. You clenched around him when he went knuckle-deep and hit that sweet spot inside of you. You began rocking your hips and tilting them upwards to meet his digits. Angel took the hint and bit down on your shoulder before adding a third finger and hammering away at you.

 ‘’A-Angel,’’ you whined, unable to do anything but moan and chant his name like prayer while he took control.

 ‘’Fuck nena, all wet and needy for me and I’ve barely started,’’ he smirked down at you before kissing your soft lips, swallowing your cries when he repeatedly hit your sweet spot. You tried telling him you were about to cum, but you were unable to do anything but cry out his name as your orgasm overcame you.

 He bit your sensitive nipple as he settled between your legs. He looked right at you, your blissful tears only fueling his desire for you as he took hold of his thick manhood and slowly traced your opening with the tip of his cock.

 ‘’Tell me you love me,’’ he whispered. And unlike the way it was with Miguel, there was no malice in his voice. Just primal, beautiful, sinful love.

‘’I love you,’’ you whispered and gasped when he shoved his entire length into you in one thrust, bottoming out and grunting your name. You wrapped your legs around his waist and held onto his shoulders as he began bucking into you, his balls slapping your pussy with every brutal thrust. The friction between the two of you made it difficult to suppress another orgasm. You whimpered when you felt him fill you up every time his cock speared you, your body nearly dragging along with his cock as he exited you. His nose brushed against yours as he pressed his forehead against you.

‘’Cum for me again,’’ he ordered and sped up his thrusts, your body bouncing underneath him in tune with his movements. ‘’Angel, papi,’’ you moaned out, your pussy clenching around his heavy cock. ‘’You’re fucking soaking querida,’’ he grunted as he grabbed your legs, pressing them against your chest so he could go deeper and harder.

‘’Angel!’’ you whined, cumming around his cock as you shook underneath him. It was all too much, the weight of him on top of you, the feeling of complete fullness as his dick repeated slammed into you. You were in a hot, thick wave of euphoria and you never wanted it to end as your fluids coated him, only allowing him to enter you faster. You barely felt Angel give you a kiss before he positioned you onto your side, lifting your leg up and resuming fucking into your sore but blissed out body.

‘’How does that feel amor?’’ Angel grunted, his hand brushing away your hair so he could see your face. His eyes watched as your breasts bounced, giving a few extra forceful ones just to watch your tits move with his thrusts. His gaze then traveled downward to the way his cock split you open, the way his dick disappeared in those tight folds of yours and the way your cum coated him. He was a lucky man.

‘’I-It’s too much Angel. I feel so f-full,’’ you whimpered, panting as he hid his face into your shoulder.

‘’I’m almost there nena, give me one more,’’ he growled out almost animalistically as his hips sped up, causing you to grip the sheets. While one hand toyed with your bouncing breasts the other began furiously rubbing at your clit. You clawed at the sheets, eyes closed in pure pleasure as you felt that familiar coil in your stomach.

‘’You look so fucking pretty taking my cock baby,’’ Angel moaned, kissing your cheek as his hand gently but firmly pressed against your stomach.

His filthy words is what did it for you, his name the only thing you could scream as you climaxed a third time, laying limp on the bed as he pounded into you like a madman. The grunt he released when he filled your tight sore pussy up, along with the way he gently pulled your hips closer to his so that every drop of his warm cum filled your womb was all you could focus on. Your eyes felt heavy as Angel remained inside of you, his cock twitching every now and then as his muscular arms encompassed you.

 ‘’I love you y/n,’’ he whispered behind you. The most genuine smile graced your lips as sleep slowly began taking you.

 ‘’I love you too, my Angel.’’

 You weren’t sure how long you had been able to sleep. Angel’s arms were still wrapped around you but he was no longer inside of you. You carefully maneuvered out of his embrace and managed to walk out onto the balcony, the silk robe that Miguel detested was loosely hanging off your body. He had said it made you look cheap, but you had always loved the robe. Miguel hated a lot of the things you loved. You were positive that Miguel would never completely leave your mind. You’d probably need therapy, and you weren’t naïve enough to believe that the trauma he had put you through would evaporate. You’d always remember him and the things he had done. The pain would wax and wane, and you would have to find a way to pick up the shattered pieces and create something beautiful out of it.

 You glanced down at your stomach, you hadn’t grown much but just knowing the life that was slowly blooming in you offered the tiniest bit of comfort. You wanted this. This was yours’, your choice. You finally had a choice. And you wanted this baby more than anything. You glanced back at Angel who was peacefully sleeping and smiled as the dawn steadily approached. It was not going to be easy. None of it would be. You’d have to deal with the aftermath. You’d have great days and horrible days. But Angel and the baby made up for it tenfold.

 ‘’A part of me will always be with you,’’ Miguel’s gruff voice caused you to shiver.

 ‘’You’re wrong. The memories will haunt me. But I already have the best part of you,’’ you replied. You could almost see the smirk on Miguel’s face.

 ‘’You sound strong, amor.’’ You nodded your head.

 ‘’I survived the slaughterhouse. I can survive anything that comes after.’’

 Miguel grinned, nodding his head as you stared out the balcony, noting the way the sun slowly spread along the mountain. Replacing the various shadows and fog with the warmth of the sun and illuminating the greenery. You nodded to yourself once more, hand pressed to your stomach as you slowly turned away to rejoin Angel where you knew his arms would be waiting to hold you once more before you braved the beginning of a new day.

 If I could let these thoughts drown And someday he might lose his crown In time these chains that hold me down would set me free Would set me free

[idk-maybe-i-did-it]

Scars: Year five, Chapter twelve

Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Depression, mentions of self harm, swearing, claustrophobia, let me know if you find anything else

Word Count: 2187

Remus

_____________

My face, in fact, is not okay.

Y/n's father is a complete arse.

Everyone's doing fine though, Y/n hasn't gone anywhere near the vinyl collection in the sitting room though, which is quite odd because that's where we always play our board games and plot future pranks on rainy days.

I can see where Y/n is hiding under the table but I can't see anyone else, James is supposed to be finding us right now. The first person to be found is the last person to get dibs on lunch food.

" HEY! JAMMMMIE LETMEGOMAN—"

Sirius has been found.

Y/n has been found, her laugh gave her position away. I laughed with her.

"MY POSITION HAS BEEN BREACHED I REPEAT MY POSITION HAS BEEN BREACHED—"

" REMUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS—"

Sirius belly flopped on me anD OH LORD

" JAMES GET THE BLOODY SHITE OFF OF US!!"

I could hear Y/n laughing from above us and I wanted to scowl at her.

Sirius nuzzled into my belly and James patted my head from atop Sirius, " Nah, I'd rather stay right here, it's much more comfy."

————————————————————————

There are three days left until we need to head back to the Hogwarts train so Euphemia is taking the five of us supply shopping in the morning.

Y/n's sleeping, she talks in her sleep a lot. I think she's getting more and more of her memory back every day. Although she still doesn't know why there are cuts running up and down her arms, she's asked us so many times about them but it's too hard to tell her.

I feel like she already knows about the reasoning behind the scars though, something tells me she does.

Everyone else is asleep right now, it's three a.m., and I'm still awake thinking about stupid thoughts using my stupid mind to think about them.

A lot of things seem stupid to me now, like James's 'four meals a day' motto, and Sirius's obsession with paint pranks and showers, oh I hate showers.

At least I used to hate them, it takes up too much time to take a shower in my opinion. Actually, it's not that it takes up too much time it's the fact that you need to be consistent if you take showers.

Schedules, yeah I think they're stupid now too. Why the fuck would anyone want to do everything on a strict basis everyday of the week, it's just dumb.

Showers though, I started taking those again recently because Y/n came back.

There are a lot of things I started doing again because she came back.

I sighed and leant back against the pillows, basking in the scent of her.

I glimpsed back down to make sure she's still there, she is.

I turned on my side and tugged her closer. Even in sleep she looked beautiful, although sorrow still weighed her down.

It's hard to believe she's here next to me, it's hard to remember that I'm not alone anymore, everything's harder now that she's here. I can't just do whatever I please because she makes me stop, I love her because of what she does.

If I decide to lay in bed all day and be silent she lays down with me and let's me curl up on her stomach, if I don't want to eat she coaxes me into it.

Oh how I love her. ———————————————————                                  ________ Y/n awoke to find Remus Lupin curled around her body like a snail and she couldn't find it in herself to wake him.

The red band on her wrist fascinated her though, the red band that both her and Remus now wore on each wrist. He's given it to her yesterday, smiled and showed her that they both had one to match now. There was a black semicolon on the inside of the thing and although the symbol felt familiar in her mind, she didn't yet know what it meant.

Some foreign part of her knew what it was though, it knew exactly what that symbol meant and what it signified. That was the same foreign part of her that remembered everything, the same part that told her she knew exactly what those slices on her arms were and the same foreign part that lived in the darkest depths of her mind.

The young woman pushed that foreign part farther within herself every waking moment of the day though, and it was starting to do something to her. She liked to feel happy, she liked feeling lighter and carefree and when that foreign part bubbled up inside her all she wanted to do was throw a vase at a wall and stomp all over the glass shards.

So down it went.

Sirius's words snapped her to attention.

" James your mum made breakfast."

A quick glimpse to her left revealed James stretching , as if he definitely did not know that breakfast was cooking, and when his arm smacked the other black haired dimbo in the face she couldn't stifle her laughter.

Someone's hand slipped to loosely cover her mouth at the sight of him slapping Sirius in the face.

That foreign part was a part that she had never liked, but it was definitely one that resurfaced often and in the moment when Remus covered her mouth it shot right back up to the top of her mind and took over, not foreign anymore.

Something dark within her cracked and his words about 'Sirius killing her if he heard her laughing' didn't even pass through her mind. Something snapped into place and soon she found herself shoving the hand backwards. Then everything around her began to change, the walls turned to dark wood and everything began to feel smaller and she didn't care that James was coming over and trying to call her down because there was a hand over her mouth and that stupid Hufflepuff prick was there with them and she didn't know why they weren't affected when the lights went dark and someone's head was snapped.

She didn't know who was where and what was real, she couldn't tell James from Peter and then everything went quiet inside her mind.

It was all too quite, everything was too small. The room was too small and she felt terrified of that place she was brought back to. Terror was the only emotion registering in her mind and then Remus was there cupping her face and then be was gone and then her face stung from her mother's slap and suddenly a door was flung open.

She didn't see what was behind the door because as soon as it opened she scrambled to James and he caught her before they went tumbling backwards and all she could concentrate on was the sweet smell of honeysuckle on him.

And then she sobbed, truly sobbed because she was out and everything would be okay again. _______________________________

Remus didn't know what to do after she shoved him away.

She looked so afraid and her shoulders were shaking and she looked at him like he'd just punched her in the face with a brick.

She looked at him and he didn't know what to do, her eyes, in her eyes terror was shown, and in her posture it showed that she was afraid.

The other went forwards towards her and tried to pull her out but no matter what they did she didn't stop staring at him with that look on her face.

Godric it was the same look on her face when he'd found her in that closet with Chad.

He was terrified, he was so terrified and scared and he wanted to just go up to her and hold her in his grasp once more.

But that look on her face, it only worsened when the tears began to fall and she began to curl into herself.

That fucking look on her face.

It shattered his already torn heart.

And he didn't know what to do. _______________________________

Remus Lupin took extra measures to ensure he stayed as far away from her as he could for the majority of the day. He even lied to Euphemia and said that he needed a new set of robes for school just to make sure Y/n stayed clear of him. Although he wasn't really lying, he did need need robes. James told him to talk to her at least four times during the day and he still hadn't listened. When he didn't respond James just took Y/n and made her switch seats with him so Remus was beside her in the booth, and then he left to find Sirius in one of the other shops.

He'd just sat down when James pulled him aside to talk.

" N/n isn't mad at you Remus, you just surprised her for a minute is all. You need to go talk to her mate."

He didn't feel like it was minute, it had felt like hours had passed by when she looked at him like that, seconds of that terror filled look turned into minutes and then hours in his mind when it really had been mere moments of her panic. He wouldn't just go and talk to her anytime soon, he couldn't get the sight of her face out of his head. Everywhere he looked she was there, it was too much for him. It was all too much for him recently.

He was thinking about that locked tin at the bottom of his chest when someone brushed against him. Remus knew who was beside him, he could always tell when it was her. Even while stuffing his face with icecream he couoldn't get that ache out of his chest at the thought of her.

He caused that pain, he was the one who made her feel scared. He did that to her, not james, not Sirius and not Peter either. He did, Remus John Lupin caused that to happen.

Fuck, he wanted to just die alrea-

" Remus?"

Her voice startled him and he jolted upwards, smacking his head on wall behind them. He wanted to leave, he wanted to leave. go, go, go, go, the word stayed on replay in his head and he didn't know that she had grabbed his arm to tug him back into the seat until his face was in her hands and only then did he notice the warm tears streaming down his face. Remus knew that she was infront of his eyes, but he couldn't get the image of her terror filled state out of his head.

He was so scared of making her feel that way again that he didn't notice when Y/n began to pull him in for an embrace.

NoNoNoNoNoNoNo

He couldn't let her do that, he had to get away from her before he hurt her again.

ShitShitShit there was nowhere to go.

Then his head was buried iun the crook of her neck and he was trying not to let any more tears drop.

And then he stood up and walked out of the parlor, dropping a chaste kiss to her shoulder before he left.

But before he left though she heard him mutter an apology into her ear, dropping a letter into her lap.

Remus Lupin turned the corner and slammed face first into Y/n's father.

" Stupid mutt."

Her father stormed past Remus and he was left with his thoughts standing at the edge of an alleyway.

His head hurt, the bruise on his eye throbbed at the sight of F/n and his heart felt so heavy. So, so, heavy.

Stupid mutt.

He stood in that alleyway, his hands in his jacket pockets, and just stopped.

His mind finally went quite.

so, so, quiet...

________________________________ A/N: Y'know I was actually thinking about it a minute ago and it's actually really cruel how Y/n's dad just obliviated her after her sister's death because if you think about it Y/n carried around so much guilt her entire life thinking that she was the reason her sister was dead and her father must've knowingly put that memory in her mind one way or another so he intentionally allowed his daughter to think she'd killed her sister for almost fifteen years and he didn't do anything about it. That's so fucked up.

Lmao hope you liked this chapter, sorry for the super long break I took but it was necessary. I haven't revised this chapter yet though so if you see a grammatical error just point it out please.

I'm honestly not sorry in the slightest, I mean I wanted to make this chapter fluffy but I had enough with fluff. If I'm in a good mood I'll make it better tomorrow

Please give me a lil bit of feedback on this chapter or just comment everything you feel, etc. I just want to know how it was oki

Drink some water, eat some food and remember You Are Loved!

[rons-wheezely]

Ron || Inseparable

[Requested]

Genre: Fluff

Summary: this dude you don’t know really wants to be your friend??; Ron x reader “...I mean, I guess he’s cute or whatever, so it’s fine.”

----

It all started in charms class. Ron dreaded that class more than anything in the world, spells and incantations were definitely NOT his thing. Today, Professor Flitwick set up a bunch of locks in front of each student. He cleared his throat and said," Today, students, we will be learning blah blah blah.."

Every time Flitwick speaks, it's like jibberish to Ron. He's tried many times to concentrate, but last time he pulled a muscle or something because he had migraines for a whole week. Hermione says it's because his brain was smaller than a pea. What in the bloody hell was a "pea"? Definitely not piss, he hoped. He sucks at this class and it's painfully obvious..

"Ah, everyone play close attention to y/n's incantation and the subtlety of her wand. It's near perfect for a first try."

Ron turns his sights to you, who is now burning a Gryffindor red, as you redo the spell for everyone in the class. There was something beautiful about how you casted the spell, dare I call it magic. Ron Weasely couldn't take his eyes off of you like a star struck fan meeting his favorite quidditch team.

After that, Ron kept spotting you in crowds from class to class. He didn't want to sometimes, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't escape the memory that replayed in his head. The way his heart leaped out of his chest, how his fingers itched to shake yours for the first time and introduce himself. It was like you radiated some type of aura that drew him in. It's an overused description, but there was no other way to describe the way you pulled him in like a sinking black hole.  A problem still stood between him and his desires, however.

"I just wish we weren't strangers and that I could ask her out already, but then I'd--" Ron pouted to his friend Harry, who always seemed to get the girls. "You wouldn't understand though, since everyone seems to think you're the 'chosen one'." He mocked the voice of the masses. Everyone loved Harry, after all.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Harry shovels his lunch into his mouth,"There's nothing stopping you, is there?" Harry says this so nonchalantly as if he's done it several times himself. "Unless you're chicken of course."

Half out of spite and half out of impatience, he wanted to prove that he could be friends with you. He introduced himself to you in the next class he shared, and days after that he'd wave to you when you two made eye contact. He thought it was embarrassing to be so excited to see someone he didn't know well, but it didn't stop his heart from beating faster than it had before.

After a week, Flitwick assigned a new project. "You shall team up with one person of your choosing and begin today's work." Before he was even finished speaking, you could see people making eye contact with their friends across the room. You didn't really have anyone you knew, as per usual, until you suddenly make eye contact with Ron Weasley.

His eyes are sparkling and it's like his whole life has lived up to this moment. He coughs into his elbow as he dusted off his robes when he stood up. Did he remember to brush his teeth this morning? God, he hopes so. He takes a deep breath and walks over to your seat. "Do you, uh, want to be partners?" He shifted under the feel of your gaze,"For the project of course; only if you want to."

Of course, you aren't in the position to say no, being that you've never been asked before, so you agree. However, that was just the beginning of your friendship with Ron. Overtime, it was like you two were always joined at the hip. You two would meet up and walk to class together, eat together, and even get caught up in Harry's adventures together. You never expected to be this close with Ron, or even anyone for that matter.

After school hours, you and Hermione hung out in the courtyard. It was her move in Gobstones when she brought up an interesting question. "I'd never actually think I'd see the day that Ron could be tolerated for more than a week. How do you do it?" She paused and mulled over her words. She spoke up again saying," Do you ever think he's clingy sometimes? It's like you two are conjoined twins or something... I'd say he was in love with you if it wasn't for Lavender Brown."

You hesitated in your response, feeling as though you were revealing too much," ...I mean, I guess he's cute or whatever, so it's fine." you attempt to shrug it off and focus on the game. Hermione's eyes burned holes into your skin as you tried to shake her uneasy stare.

Hermione gasped so loudly, it caught you off guard. Did you say too much? Did you say something wrong??? You shushed her in a panic, looking around at the other students staring at you. She recomposed herself with a deep breath, but she exploded in a flurry of whispered questions.

"So you think he's cute?? As a friend or... as something more? How long have you felt this way? Does anyone else know about this?" Hermione bombarded you with so many questions it was like the room started spinning.

"I wouldn't mind if we were something more," You could see Hermione about to gasp again," BUT I really don't think this is the kind of love story you think it is. He dated Lavender Brown up until two days ago, so he probably doesn't think of me that way, like you said earlier." The more you talked, the more you felt like you were giving away the secret krabby patty formula. Why can't you shut up?? "He probably likes girls like that."

"Or maybe he wanted you to be jealous?" Hermione spoke and won the game in one smooth turn,"Think about it." As you clean up the game pieces, she puts her hand on your shoulder. "I know that when he was dating Lavender, he walked with her to class, right? But don't you normally walk with him?" Hermione strolled the hallways with you. This situation was so stiff the outside air of the courtyard was suffocating you, leaving no room albeit to give in.

"I.. I don't know, Hermione. Maybe we're thinking into it too much?" Your head drifts to the outside scenery of Hogwarts. "Besides, why would he want to date me?"

A couple days later, Ron came back to the old routine of walking with you everywhere as if he'd never left. You wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for that conversation with Hermione. It itched in the back of your mind like a spider on the back of your neck. You felt like you were reading too far into his jokes, and when he laughed at one of yours, there was a flip in your stomach and blood rushed to your face.

Now, his touches set your skin ablaze. It lingered and danced along the surface of your senses. Every breath of his that reached you was warm, his hands were a little too soft, and you could list a thousand other things that sent your mind running. Does he really like you like that?

"I thought she'd crack by now, Harry." A frustrated Ron brewed in his own bits of misfortune. "What if she's not into me like that?"

Harry looked at him. Harry's eyes glance at the clock before responding," Ron, it's like 11 pm and you're thinking about y/n?"

Ron nodded with a pout on his face.

Harry sighed," Why don't you just tell her?" Before Ron could reply with a flurry of doubts, Harry interjected. "You've literally had a crush on her since like First year, and I haven't seen you make your move. If you're that worried, you could try..." He looked around the dormitory room for a clue. His glasses glinted like an anime character when his eyes settled on a potions book. "You could always make a uh, forgetfulness potion?"

That seemed to satisfy Ron's stress and he laid back down in bed. He predicted that in the next 24 hours, he'll have confessed his feelings and then forced you to take his concoction of a "forgetfulness potion."

"Y/n." Ron had taken you outside the Great Hall during lunch. His palms are so sweaty and cold it could be a slip 'n slide (except he wouldn't know what that was.) You were talking to Harry about the next Quidditch game when he decided to confess. It took some persuading to leave the conversation, but you eventually gave in.

"Yes, Ron?" You prodded his shoulder. His face was pale, and the awkward silence was becoming unbearable. "...Ron? Are you monologuing or something?"

"I... I like you."

"Uhh me too? That's why we're friends." You weren't sure if your mind was playing tricks on you again. He wasn't confessing.. right?

"No I--" He stammered. "I like you. Like a lot. Since first year.." This was it. Any second you would reject him, and then he'd have to whip out his potion and apologize profusely while you guzzle it down.

"Oh." You blinked. Once. Twice. "Really? So this is a confession?"

"Will you go out with me?" He looked into your eyes. He was done for, he knew it. But, the disgust of rejection never came.

"Yeah.. I'd actually like that, Ron." You hugged him with all of your might. If this was a dream, then you hoped you'd never wake up. You were trying so hard not to let your feelings get the best of you, if only you knew he felt the same way. This past month's emotional procrastination was futile, and you can now admit the blooming feeling in your heart.

Ron was stunned. It was only until his robes were getting wet that he looked down. You were crying, but they were tears of joy? He really was prepared for the worst. Once the shock had died down, he embraced you. He never thought this day would come, but when it did, it was the greatest emotion he'd ever had. He kissed your forehead as the rest of your face was buried in his arms. "I love you."

---- 

-A/N-

Just a heads up, in the future I’d like to write and include other HP characters if y’all don’t mind (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It’ll be about other HP characters in the same year probably, except for the other Weasleys. Love you guys ♡

p.s. I’m sorry that I took so long on this rip I wrote a whole different ending where you fake date Harry for a hot second, but it got out of hand and I scrapped it lol