#simp and stupid queer

[theosphobia]

grumpy south has been added ! shes fifth-wheeling 💀

[myspacebrat]

Heavy metal parking lot

eddie munson x metal head fem!reader

summary: the last thing you ever expected was to hit it off with a cute guy at a Judas Priest concert, but stranger things have happened.

warnings: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, all porn almost no plot, no use of y/n, use of pet names (baby, princess, pretty girl etc.), smoking the devils lettuce, queer!eddie, reader has nipple piercings, dom/sub dynamics, some degradation (but eddie is still a simp), oral (m receiving), unprotected rough p in v sex (this is fantasy, pls don’t have unprotected sex with strangers), anal play (f receiving).

notes: just a dirty little one shot. Sorry, there will not be a part two. Thank you to my loves: @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can & @stwritings for beta reading <3 also, blame @bettyfrommars & @xxhellfiregirlxx for me posting this filth on our holy day.

wc: 3.1k

This was a stupid idea, stupid, stupid.

But here you are driving to the market square arena, an hour away from home, dead in the middle of a scorching summer, alone.

You had this elaborate plan for months, ever since you had bought your tickets. You and your best friend Abbee were supposed to meet up at your house, get ready together, go grab some fuel and head to the show a little early to hang out in the parking lot. That unfortunately is not what ended up happening. You got ready…alone, got food…alone and now you’re making the trip…alone.

You can’t be mad at your friend, she did have a very valid excuse as to why she was unable to make it. You couldn’t help but to kick yourself for never being brave enough to put yourself out there and make new friends, but maybe that would change, maybe you would meet some cool people at the show, some Judas Priest fans seemed like the perfect place to start.

The parking lot was jam packed, men and women in all their Judas Priest or Dokken gear, huge banners held out by adoring fans, beer cans littering the lot as weed and cigarette smoke fog the air.

You finally find parking, lucky for you it seems to be the last vacant spot left, squeezed tight between a red Camaro and a brown van.

Better than nothing.

As you exit your black Honda accord, your eyes flit around the lot, taking in your surroundings as you breathe in the second hand smoke.

“Hey, sick shirt.” A gruff voice towards your left calls out. You look around for a second before your eyes finally land on the owner of the van that's parked beside you.

His brown wavy hair gets hit by a gust of wind, as if he’s some hot character in one of those movies that the protagonist is in love with. You definitely couldn’t deny his hotness.

His defenders of the faith shirt clung to his body like a second skin, tight dark blue jeans with a chain adorned his lower half along with white reeboks.

He had a joint perched between his two fingers as his eyes so boldly roamed your figure.

“Thanks,” you acknowledge, as you look down at your ‘hell bent for leather’ cropped tee, and then back up to meet his mischievous smirk. “Yours is sick, too.” You offer in a small but cheerful voice.

“You wanna come smoke with me, pretty girl?” He offers as the mischievous smile grows, like the grinch who stole Christmas.

“Uhh, sure why not?” You shrug, making your way over to the van and taking a seat on the red carpeted floor, your leather mini skirt now hiked up around the very tops of your thighs while your knee high boots hang out the side, resting on the asphalt below you.

“I’m Eddie.” He declares while holding out a heavily ringed hand, you stare it down ogling between his tattoos, black nail polish and badass rings before placing your smaller appendage in his, you firmly shake it with a smile as you tell him your name.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He chuckles before handing you the dwindling joint.

You take a hit while you let your eyes wander around the inside of his van, a small mattress set up with a colorful quilt and two fluffy pillows.

Various magazines of the adult variety scrawled out haphazardly on the floor, a six pack of coors lite sits on the arm rest between the two front seats, breaking the law plays out through the speakers.

Though he’s not the only one, various Judas Priest songs could be heard throughout the stadium's parking lot.

You take another small hit, passing back the now roach sized spliff. Eddie tries to get one more hit out of it, before throwing it to the ground and stepping on it with the toe of his white sneaker.

You begin to stand up with the thought that you may be overstaying your welcome, until Eddie puts a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“You don’t have to go.” The shy look on his face is the total antithesis of his cocky demeanor when he’d first waved you over.

“Oh, okay. I just didn’t want to bother or keep you from anything.” Your response is sheepish and the butterflies in your belly begin fluttering about.

“No baby, you're not keeping me from anything.” He beams.

That damn nickname pulls you in like a moth to a flame.

As you and Eddie grow better acquainted, you realize he has a great sense of humor with an eccentric personality.

You also quickly realize you want him.

Right here in the back of his van.

You scoot your bottom back, making your way into the wagon. The action causes your skirt to roll up further along your thighs, giving Eddie the perfect glimpse of your black panties.

You swing your feet inside and hoist yourself up on your knees, as graceful as possible. Waddling over like a penguin to fling yourself onto the mattress that had your mind wandering.

“Mmm, this is comfy.” You sigh with a smile, as your body burrows deeper into the off white sheets below you.

Eddie stands just outside the door, eyes unable to leave your backside as you cuddle up on his mattress. ‘Was this his lucky day?’ This shit never happens to him, well at least not with women anyway. He had better luck with men.

Thank you Judas Priest, Eddie silently prays to the sky before making his way inside the vehicle to join you.

“Mind if I lay down?” He mumbles, surprising you with his close proximity.

You turn, catching onto the puppy dog eyes he’s giving you; and what you would give to have them looking down at you while he’s working your body to sweet, sweet release.

“No, of course not.” You giggle, the sound makes Eddie twitch in his pants.

He was a sweet boy, you wanted him to fucking ruin you.

You turn to face him, head resting on your palm as you pat the spot beside you.

The sly smirk returns as he lays down on the mattress, mirroring your exact position.

“Shows gonna start in an hour.” He whispers, scooting in closer towards you, the warmth radiating off of his skin is sending your body into a frenzy.

“Mm, so we have enough time?” You sweetly whisper back.

“Enough time for what? Hmm?” Your bodies continue to gravitate together, a pull so strong it was like you were both attached to magnets.

“For this..” you breathily huff before straddling Eddie’s waist, the groan that escapes him makes your eyes roll back, as you begin to grind down on his growing erection.

“Fuck” Eddie hisses as his hands fall to your waist, now controlling your movements and pulling you in deeper.

“That’s exactly what I intend on doing.” The air gets caught in your throat as a small laugh leaves your lips, your clit catching on rough denim fabric, Eddie swears every time you giggle it’s like an angel gets its wings. It’s sweet and soft, just like you.

You lean in closer, soft plump lips meeting yours in a tangle of tongues, it’s hot and desperate as you are for each other.

Eddie moans into your mouth as your movements get more daring, practically bouncing on his clothed lap. His eyes quickly flicker to your tits as they jiggle with each bounce, it’s clear you’re not wearing a bra, and the idea makes Eddie’s mouth water and his cock stiffen. It feels the hardest it's been since he took a dick in his ass for the very first time. He needs to be inside you and he hopes you're willing to give him that, he’ll do anything for it, at this moment. He feels like a desperate idiot; but he is, he really is so fucking desperate for you.

You immediately notice the way Eddie’s eyes have been trained on the perky slopes of your breasts, with an ever growing smirk you take the hem and hike the shirt up and over your head to be discarded on the red carpet of his van.

“Holy shit!” Eddie practically pants, like a dog who’s out of water.

His decorated hands move up from your hips as they begin to tweak at your nipples, nimble fingers rubbing over the double balled jewelry that sits on each hardened peak.

“Fuck, such pretty tits!” He groans “and they’re pierced, Jesus.” Eddie was enthralled, absolutely fucking enthralled by you.

You lean down, planting soft kisses to Eddie’s long, beautiful neck, leaving behind remenits of your red lipstick and spit soaked bruises.

“Mmm…” he hums as you suck and bite at a spot under his ear lobe.

“Please, fuck me.” You breathily murmur into his ear, before you lift yourself back up using his pecs as leverage, eyes meeting his as you gauge his reaction to your plea.

“You sure, baby?” He whispers before leaving a sloppy kiss to your jaw.

“I’m so sure, please Eddie.” The way you moan his name as you beg for him creates something feral inside of Eddie, his eyes now glazed over into something dark, his jaw tightens as he grabs two rough handfuls of your ass, that are now exposed while your skirt sits carelessly on your lower back.

His right hand slowly glides up your body and into your hair, quickly tightening his fingers around the strands at the base of your neck.

“You want my cock, princess?” He challenges through his teeth.

“Yes, mmhmm, so bad!” You insist with a shout, having your hair pulled has always made you drip between your legs.

“Then go on.. take my cock out, you cock hungry little slut.” He growls as his fingers wrap tighter around your hair before quickly pulling his hand away, he gives your ass one hard spank before he’s back to grabbing at the meat.

You make quick work of his handcuff belt, unbuttoning and swiftly pulling down the zipper before dipping your thumbs into the waistband of both his boxers and jeans and peeling them off, leaving both garments to sit around the tops of his knees.

The sight you’re met with causes you to gasp, he has to be at least 9 inches, it was red and throbbing, wetness from his precum already saturating the mushroom tip.

“Like what you see, baby?” He brags with a smirk that could make Satan himself shiver.

“You’re so pretty, every part of you.” You admit as you lick your bottom lip, with hunger in your eyes.

Eddie wraps a ringed hand around the base of his cock, vulgarly slapping the air with it,

“Where do you want it, huh sweetheart?” His grunt made more slick pool from your needy cunt.

Showing is better than telling, so you plant your knees between his thighs, bringing your face mere inches from his pulsing hard sex.

“Holy fuck, are you gonna—” his eyes roll back as your tongue glides up the underside of his cock, before wrapping your lips around his tip. “No girl has ever given me head.” He huffs while throwing his head back.

You let go of his cock with a wet pop, “no one’s ever sucked your dick before?” You scrunch your face up in confusion, there’s no way he’s never been treated to some head, that would be a travesty.

“I have, j-just not by a-a women.” He stutters out in embarrassment, as his face flushes a bright red that travels down his neck.

It takes you a second to understand what he means, “oh” was all you said, before shrugging and getting back to work on his tip.

He smiles down at you, pulling all of your hair out of your face and holding it together in a makeshift ponytail as he gently guides your head up and down on him, until you’re taking him deeper, so deep your nose is now brushing against the curly hairs at his base, you swallow his tip down before you begin rapidly moving and twisting your head as if a women possessed.

“Oh my— whoa, fuck baby!” He keens into the stuffy air of the van, “your mouth feels so fucking good!” He begins rapidly pumping his hips up, fucking your throat as spit strings fall to his balls, you reach a hand out and begin massaging them, making him growl in pleasure.

“Okay baby, okay angel please, please stop.” Eddie whimpers as he pulls you off of his cock, the spit on your lips remains connected to Eddie’s tip.

He rubs over the messy swollen flesh with the pad of his thumb, as he hums in satisfaction.

“All fours, now.” He commands before shifting up and onto his knees, you crawl further up the mattress, finally laying your head against the sheets that were now dampened by his back, you arch your ass up while making sure your stomach was equally lowered, the position causing your ass to stick out more for him.

“Good girl.” He praised before giving your ass another harsh slap. “Let’s get these off of you.” Eddie slides your black thong over your butt and down your legs, slowly pulling them off from around your feet.

He throws your panties towards the front of the driver's seat, the black fabric lands perfectly on his dashboard. “M’keepin’ those.” He chuckles.

You’re so lost in desire, that someone could’ve told you Rob Halford himself was out signing autographs and you wouldn’t have bat an eyelash or made any attempts to move.

“Fuck, look at these pretty holes.” Eddie groans while running the tips of his fingers from your clit up towards your asshole. “You like getting all of your holes filled, princess?” He smirks at the way your body reacts to him and how loud you moan at his words.

Your ‘yes’ is muffled by the mattress, Eddie’s having none of it.

SLAP!

“Speak up!” He grumbles, before taking both cheeks roughly in his hands and spreading them.

“Yes! I love it!” Your wail has Eddie’s smirk growing more devilish

“I know you do.” He mocks as his middle finger teases your entrance, he causes your body to writhe and groan in desperation by slipping just the tip of his finger in and out of your aching hole.

Finally after all of his teasing, he slips his full finger inside, pumping in and out at a splitting speed.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He gasps while resting his head on your backside as he still works you with his finger, finally slipping another one in and scissoring them in an attempt to stretch you out.

He hasn’t even fucked you, yet you’re still an incoherent mess as slobber begins to pool on the sheets below your face.

His head starts to slowly move closer to where you’re spread, you gasp and wiggle when you feel his wet tongue slowly lick over your puckered hole.

“Oh fuck!” You blubber, the action making you clench around Eddie’s fingers.

“Mm, oh you like getting your asshole licked?” He scoffs in a teasing tone “it feels good, doesn’t it?”

All you can do is nod and sob into his cheap cologne smelling sheets.

Slowly slipping his fingers out as he moves in closer, replacing his digits with his throbbing cock.

“You ready, princess?” He surveys as he runs his calloused hands up and down your back, gently rubbing at your soft skin.

“Mmhm, I’m ready.” You consent while lifting your head to get a good look at him as he slides into you.

His tip begins breaching your entrance as your eyes remain locked on each other, you and Eddie’s brows are both furrowed and jaws slack as he pushes in deeper.

“Oh, fuck!” Eddie growls as he continues to stretch you out. If he were to die in this very moment, he would die a happy man, the way your pussy is squeezing and choking him; he’s fucked tight assholes, but never a pussy this tight and he thinks it might be his new favorite thing, the way you get so effortlessly wet and the ridges on your walls that stimulate his cock so sensationally. The weed makes his mind go to some weird places; maybe I found some kind of holy grail pussy? He shakes his head of the weird thoughts beginning to plague his mind.

“Yes, right there!” Your screeching brings him back down to this dimension, making him drive deeper and pound harder into you, hitting that spongy spot over and over until you’re shaking underneath him, knees almost buckling at the intense pleasure that is now conquering your body. His fingers are pressed so deep into the skin of your upper thighs, that you’re positive they’ll be bruised by tomorrow.

“Right there?” Eddie mockingly smirks as he hits it over and over with his tip, “that your spot, baby?”

Your “mmhmm” comes out so whiny and desperate, he knew you were close and so was he but he needed to see you fall apart first.

Eddie quickly brings his thumb up to his lips, the calloused finger dipping into his mouth as he sucks, getting it all nice and wet before you feel it prodding your unused hole, he begins thrusting faster as his digit reaches the second knuckle. “Oh my god, you have the tightest fucking holes.” He sounds so out of breath and fucked out by this point, his loud groans, filthy words and extra finger are making you reach that peak of toe curling completion at a hurdling speed.

“I’m gonna cum.” You whine as you begin to back up into his thrusts, making his cock and finger hit deeper depths.

“Yes, cum for me baby.” He urges as he’s on the precipice of his own high.

“Yes, yes…” you babble as your body tenses, uncontrollably shaking as you come undone, Eddie’s thumb continues to work your asshole, while he fucks you through the most intense orgasm you’ll probably ever have.

“I-I’m coming baby, fuck!” Eddie shouts before he pulls himself out of your tight heat, hand maniacally working his cock until his warm seed spurts into your stretched out asshole.

“Holy shit!” He groans while his body falls over yours, you both begin to laugh until you hear someone pound their fist on the side of the van.

“Hey, Eddie—” you gasp at the disturbance, eyes going wide when you catch a glance at the metalhead, “the show's about to start man, everyone’s lining up at the door!” The raspy masculine voice calls out again, before you’re left in silence.

You and Eddie begin frantically getting dressed in hopes to get a good spot in line.

Once out into the fresh summer air, Eddie throws his arm around your shoulders, “you wanna watch the show with us, princess?” He proposes with a sweet grin, while lighting a cigarette.

You were right, a Judas Priest concert was the perfect place to make new friends.

taglist:

@michellecrusher @ali-r3n @crybabyddl @definitelynotecho @ajkamins @daniellabrandt @bl4ckt00thgr1n

[sailorstarr-chan4]

What your favorite Sailor Moon Character says about you:

Sailor Moon: You are a slut for romantic tropes and quick to cry and that's okay.... But you might wanna work on your savior complex, honey Tuxedo Mask: You just want a trophy husband, and you know what? Good for you! Sailor Mercury: You're the "mom friend" and are a great listener, but you struggle opening up and have a tendency to suppress your more "uncomfortable" feelings in order to make sure everyone around you is happy and secure Sailor Mars: You have a humiliation kink and aspire to either date a woman or BE a woman who looks hot AF and graceful in heels. You also probably have very strong feelings about her personality change from manga to anime Sailor Jupiter: You like a woman who can break you in half, but also bake you delicious cookies. Also, she's probably your gay or bi awakening Sailor Venus: You weren't popular in school, but you aspired to be, and are a firm believer in the mantra "fake it till you make it" Sailor Pluto: You have a martyr complex and untreated depression. Asking for help is NOT a weakness! Sailor Uranus: You're into butches Sailor Neptune: You're into femmes Sailor Uranus & Sailor Neptune: You're either queer, or you have an uncomfortable definition of the term "cousin" Sailor Saturn: You shop at Hot Topic and listen to emo music, but are also trying to work on your mental health, good job! Chibiusa: You probably have Daddy Issues or Mommy Issues. Or both. Helios: You had a crush on Legolas and are weak for Pretty Boys in general. Also, you may or may not be a closet furry or a fan of My Little Pony Four Kings of Heaven: You're either a gay man or a yaoi fangirl Queen Beryl: You just really wanna be stepped on, huh? Prince Dimande: You can pinpoint the exact moment when you hit puberty and realized you liked Bad Boys Amazoness Quartet: You're stylish, queer, and just want to watch the world burn Galaxia: You have a God Complex and might want to seek therapy. Or you just want a Dom girlfriend Seiya: You're a slut for Unrequited Love in media and ship all of the doomed ships Luna: You constantly wonder how everyone can be so incredibly stupid Artemis: Simp. You're just a simp. Naru: You're the sensitive friend who needs to be handled with kid gloves, but everyone loves you and thinks you're a precious bean Umino: You were definitely the annoying nerd in school and have a soft spot for underdogs

(Feel free to add more! This is all in good fun! ❤ Shout-out to @risingfire17-the-weeb-trash for helping me with this list.)

[quasiquack666]

My Gay Agenda aside, it honestly feels really late for Gestella to appear as a love interest for Kayden?

She only first appeared in Chapter 294, which seems like the middle of the comic. And the writers didn't even add backstory for Gestella and Kayden (like they did for Kayden & Kartein or Kayden & Pluton). They clearly don't know anything about each other.

(More detailed spoilers under the break. Screen readers stop now)

There's no way Gestella would believe how sappy those letters were if she knew Kayden, nor would Kayden have been so distrustful of her with Jiwoo if he knew that she had a decent personality (similar to his understanding that neither Kartein or Pluton would likely hurt Jiwoo, which is how he led Kartein to Jiwoo's house and only fought Pluton for jabbing at his ego rather than solely because he discovered their location).

Developing a relationship for KayStella from square one in the middle of the comic sounds like a clusterfuck waiting to fail.

Especially when the whole current basis of their relationship is them being pissed off at each other based on misunderstandings.

The forced romance only feels more jarring when Kartein and Kayden had the perfect romantic setup in contrast. They had a clear background from how they talked to each other, they knew how to get on each other's nerves, they could trust each other (in a bare sense but still), and Kartein was introduced in Chapter 136 which gives readers plenty of time to get to know him. Kartein has several major development arcs since his introduction and only became closer to Kayden. Kartein is a well-developed character whose relationship to Kayden never felt very forced or contrived solely for a romance plot. Kartein is actually a character by himself before he would be romantically inclined.

Therefore, the writers knew how to set up a character to have long-term development alongside Kayden while also getting development by themselves. So if anything, Gestella should have been the one introduced early on so we could get to know her.

I'm just pointing out that it's a mistake logistically for her to be introduced so late, compounded with having no shared background to Kayden. Their relationship will almost certainly be inferior to one that is well-developed over the majority of the comic versus halfway through.

Because personally, I adore Gestella, stupid plotline aside. So the way the writers throw both her and Kayden under the bus for the forced romance plot really pisses me off on so many levels. The plot feels utterly disrespectful to their development. It makes Gestella yet another forced female love interest (which sucks even worse when the only main female characters are made solely for the males). Then randomly shoots a romance plot at Kayden even though he's been fine this whole time as just a cat dad to Jiwoo.

Again, Gay Agenda aside, even my Het Agenda is ruined by this. How am I supposed to ship their canon selves on such a shit foundation? (Although my headcanon ideas for them are still raging; I'm too much of a simp for them separately to not pair them together. Fuck)

Meanwhile, Gay Agenda at full rainbow power, Kartein and Kayden is obviously the queer romance that we will never get in canon. They were the perfect setup and have been since their first chapters. This forced heteronormative nonsense is why queer pairings are the majority of fandom ships, let's not lie.

(Shoutout to @heartrenderscove . Our convos make me realize all this shit)

[www-tattlecrime-dot-com]

HI I GOT A SCOOP!!

People on TikTok that godforsaken app are saying that Clarice starling is/would be a terf. This is straight up misinformation and I want to explain why because it’s hella upsetting.

the main reason she literally wouldn’t be a terf is after hannibal first suggests that buffalo bill might think they’re trans she hits him with this:

It’s outdated language but bare with me it was written in 1988.

They then have a long conversation about how SHE’S RIGHT about that. And she literally spends the whole thing being like dude trans people are really great and nice and not crazy.

(The handling of buffalo bill sucked I will not lie but it was in no way Clarice’s fault)

Also later in the book there’s a gender reassignment surgeon who makes them all promise they won’t say bad things about actual trans people and or claim that trans people are violent. Thats a huge point in the book.

At no point is Clarice anything other than supportive and protective of trans people.

SHE WOULD NOT BE A TERF!!!!!! SHE’S AN ALLY CANONICALLY!!!

- sincerely yours the Clarice simp blog

LIAM, YOU ARE COMPLETELY CORRECT! Clarice is an ICON and in NO WAY would permit the DEMONISATION of TRANSGENDER PEOPLE! I mean, COME ON, guys -- do all of the MEDIA ILLITERATE people gather on TikTok?? In WHAT WAY does her book quotes and behaviour denote ANYTHING about BEING A STUPID TERF? She is SMART, CLEVER, and DEFINITELY CAPABLE of understanding that QUEER IDENTITIES do NOT automatically equate to BEING A CRIMINAL!!!

THANKS LIAM! LONG LIVE CLARICE!

[h0bg0blin-meat]

BHOI

So like... Mohini used enchantment that was specifically for the Asur kul... So like was Shachi affected by that too??

Like jist imagine the Devtas sitting casually waiting for Mohini to distribute Amrit while she's luring the Asuras

And Chandra and Surya (those two are the ones that spot everything lmao) notices her also simping for Mohini and they're like “ayo Indra is that yo wife??”

This is not a ship suggestion mind you... But like a stupid scenario suggestion T_T don't attack me

Listen we know almost all queer-coded goddesses had a thing for Mohini just like how all queer-coded gods had a thing for Vishnu.

It is but the truth 🗿💅

Also seeing Shachi get entranced Lakshmi is like "Eyes off my wife, babe."

Shachi: Cmon Lakshmi you know she's all yours. Lemme have a gander 😭

Lakshmi: 🗿

[jenyifer]

The Trainee Ep 2 initial reaction

Slight disclaimer I did watch the episode 1/4 3/4 because YouTube is a cruel mistress and I’m dumb lmao. But I assume if anyone has seen my watching series you’d know I don’t really offer much of intellect anyways sooooo

Let’s get on to the photo review

Quick note here Ryan is a lot more relatable believable character to me in comparison to Chef Prem? I think it’s good writing and set in these scenes with Ryan at his dad’s shop really do a lot to establish who he is as a person. We can see his family circle is hard working and maybe isn’t the best with their feelings. We still see Ryan’s family does take care of each other in important ways and understands to some extent. Also very relatable to be a recent grad with no direction or going to university without passion because you know your family needs you. Idk I like Ryan. He’s not quirky for quirky sake. He’s believably broken in predictable ways.

Ugh couples are the worst. Also performative gestures like this are so stupid now you might say it’s comedy. However I’ve enjoyed a couple office romance interns edition and it’s ways sickening. Just like highschool sweethearts that kind of sweet where they are blind or trying to make others jealous because of their own inadequacies with themselves

I’ll say this it is good for new members of staff to learn to speak their mind quickly because if they don’t contribute you are missing out on new ideas and eyes. Also Jane/Off is so handsome my brain would definitely malfunction. A person in control who knows what he wants 🥵 sexy. Also Off’s irration just scratches a good itch in my brain makes me think of Sean 😩😩

A very important bonding activity converting the non nerds to the joys of Harry Potter and other pop culture. A dance as old as time. My older coworkers try to get everyone to watch their pop culture references too. It’s really an unspoken office life normality. I really wasn’t expecting so many references though. But I still love Harry Potter because idk I see the good parts of the story and adore it. Yes yes I can now see the racism and the transphobia (the dream of Malfoy’s cronies turning into girls) also preachiness about sexism when needed. But I also see the fandom that raised me. The various queer friends I met because of my love of the boy who lived. Something I won’t have had in Mississippi. The books that always comforted me since I was 6 years old quoting the first book. the theme parks that still take my breath away when I go to visit Universal Orlando on the weekends. The queer and loving people who work there and are all too happy to make a child’s dream come true or adult look in wonder at something they have missed. (Sorry for the tangent)

Oh no it’s Gun’s arguably greatest talent crying in character. I felt like I could feel the fear and panic building in Ryan to this point which… if you aren’t crying in the first several days at your big kid job because you feel like an imposter who can’t do shit and will never be trusted? I can’t relate to you. Hell I got a new job a couple months ago. For a month I cried most days when I got home because I felt so awful about my capabilities even though I’ve worked 7 years in my field. It’s normal. Also Jane being shocked by this is hilarious you aren’t telling me he hasn’t broken someone down into tears before.

Oh no here it is folks Jane just enjoying Ryan’s energy and believing in him for no reason. Gun’s tears are very potent and can melt any wall I’m surprised Jane isn’t pulling him in for hugs.

Jane trying his best to keep Ryan without directly forcing him to stay was masterful as a boss. As a Simp it could use work but it’s a start put the ball in Ryan’s court with hope. Jane wants Ryan to grow and experience life which is good as a boss.

Awwwwwwwwww happy gunnie/ryan he’s so tired and anxious now he’s found solace in Jane’s words nothing can bring him down. He’s precious someone put him in my pocket.

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 7

Featuring Twilight being both queer and homophobic, more deranged Rosalie fan dumb, and a random simping for Sarah J. Maas. On nom nom away

Twilight Is Homophobic AND Queer!!1!!

Or…and I’m just throwing it out there…Twilight is a romance and the romance genre are notoriously heterosexual???? To the point where one of its nastier tropes is the predatory gay villain (looking at you, Outlander)????

Hell, even now the number of homosexual characters in romances are low, mostly just limited to supporting characters. I suppose it’s improved in recent years, but even in fantasy romance you get, like, Mor from ACOTAR.

At least Clown OP has the self-awareness to know they are indeed writing fanfic.

But regarding the “Edward/Bella would never last and they would get divorced!!” clownery…what canonical basis is there even???? They could barely last six months apart without having a complete nervous breakdown. Yes, they are blinded by their own insecurities and delusions, but they eventually communicate and resolve their issues fairly easily. Their love proves greater and helps them overcome these.

You would think Kristen Stewart would have an easier time playing Bella if she were so obviously bi-coded. Instead we got the most awkward and ill-fitting performance of a major character in years, to the point where her version of the character is among the most hated film characters—ever. Part of it is definitely the stupid script and questionable direction, but there is also a matter of casting type. Bella is a modernized romance heroine while Stewart is a grounded indie actress who at BEST can play a major fantasy heroine—a more emotionally intelligent version of Katniss. Perhaps an animated TV show will be beneficial in that respect, in actually casting for the character.

Rosalie Fan Dumb

Bella: *wants to be a vampire*

Rosalie: How dare you, an autonomous individual different from me, make a completely different choice than what I would make!!!1!! 😡

Clown OP: Complexity 😍

Seriously, we have got to have a long talk about this fandom’s idealization of Rosalie resenting Bella her own autonomy and pissing on her own choices. Edward literally has the exact same position as Rosalie (except that homeboy doesn’t hate Bella for it and understands why) but he is criticized so much more harshly. What the hell is going on?

Also, Bella was gung-ho on becoming a vampire anyway, so this pregnancy did not change her plans in the slightest. Hell, it was her plan to get changed right after birthing Renesmee, so it was all on her terms. Let’s not pretend she was at any point coerced into vampirism! For all this whinging about Bella’s agency, it’s the anti fandom itself that refuses to acknowledge it.

Except that in Midnight Sun we do see Rosalie’s hostility from Edward’s POV and boy, is it super petty and irrational—she cannot even stand to be in the same room as Bella! It’s completely juvenile, which is well, par de course for vampires frozen in their adolescent state.

But again we have the victim blaming. Bella’s existence doesn’t endanger the Cullens; it’s the Cullens’ existence that endangers Bella, as Edward correctly notes and angsts about. The only way Bella endangers the Cullens is that she knows their secret—but of course, she would never tell, so it’s moot point. It’s not even on the table after the car accident scene.

Sarah J. Maas? You mean the author with prose like unseasoned rice? You mean the author with 80% of the most boring ass worldbuilding and 20% actual erotic sex scenes, her actual strength? You mean the author who literally turned her first love interest evil and stripped him of all his personality in the sequel just so that her female MC could end up with the fan favorite antagonist (who drugged her and made her dance suggestively in front of people)? That Sarah J. Maas? A better writer than Meyer? Really????

[rehlie]

„music is what feelings sound like“

(my introduction post!)

about me:

my names aurelia but you can also call me rehlie delusional, stupid teen, swiss and german, taurus, raging feminist, slytherclaw, simp for women in suits, professional hater, #1 wolfstar stan

things i love:

low waist pants, snow, SUPs, highlighter, lip balm, the song of achilles, late night walks, cats, fantasy books, my headphones, the marauder era, dark chocolate, museums, haruki murakamis books, pjo, agggtm, queer romance books, pinterest, downtown manhattan, jellyfishes, rain, gothic architecture, the colors yellow and blue, mint tea

music artists i love:

the arctic monkeys, måneskin, mitski, girl in red, hozier, royel otis, the smiths, lana del rey, marina, the wombats, depeche mode, tears for fears, mother mother, queen, pink floyd, letters to cleo, abba, cigarettes after sex

thats basically it, thank you!

[chibi-scone]

It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

[thewayuarent]

Okay, I solved it

Only Friends is a fucking comedy

Ray using that stupid excuse to talk to Sand people? He’s so unserious stop it

Not Ray saying THINK ABOUT THE ORPHANS SAND!! Like dude really stop it I can’t with you. Also their faces are so funny for no reason here

Not Boston sitting here in the middle of a day drinking and looking at photo of Nick. Someone entering his simping era I see

And now the show using the fucking fade away effect here like for real. I’m trying to be sad here but I can’t take it seriously

Okay, Top is a definition of a sad wet dog now. They are not even a bit subtle about it

So Nick is basically “I’m going to talk to a person I secretly recorded sex tape with BUT DO I LOOK CUTE??” You do, honey

So Sand told Ray to go to sleep and sober up and that’s Ray’s response. This man is a literal clown

Of course Atom is queer he’s in title credits for a reason. Also agree

Cheum decided that the best moment to rant on Ray is when Ray and also some dude she doesn’t even know are here on their knees facing police brutality. Like girl come on really??

Bonus part from ep 9:

Those two are really need to physically move themselves away to another place just for a chance to not being cockblocked again. Let’s wish them luck this time

Like I’m telling you, I get the whole drama, but this is so funny show it’s pure comedy I’m crying

[crowtrobotx]

There was a trend on Tik Tok where people would say “I think he wants a man” to ANYYY vaguely feminine male character whenever women simped for him it was awful and sometimes they weren’t even women they were transmasc

This is so not shocking to me but still gross af.

You see this stuff all the time; on the surface it’s just nasty people gatekeeping characters and you want to just write it off as stupid behavior, but then you realize it perpetuates so many horrible ideas. Namely, “women must be made fun of and shamed for anything they find exciting or fun” and “men who are effeminate/campy/etc. must always be strictly gay and there is no room for interpretation or else you are delusional/problematic.” And when you try to challenge them on this discourse they try to gaslight you into thinking that you’re actually the homophobic/bad one, or you get told “lol it’s just a joke it’s not that serious you WEIRDO!”

And you’re so right, there’s such a revolting amount of trans and nb erasure in these discussions! I know of multiple trans and nb folks who have been misgendered because these dipshits see someone they assume is a woman who who writes/draws/enjoys m/f content and they’re like “clearly this is an affront to the real queers and I alone can defend my fictional blorbo from harm.” I saw someone in this very fandom post an insane rant about “women posting their nasty breeding kink content” when the author of the post that prompted it had “man” as the first thing in their bio. 😭

Like. Variety is the spice of fandom. You don’t have to agree with someone or vibe with their takes. You are free to complain in private to your friends, block, or unfollow. What happened to just letting people be or, even better, opening your mind to multiple takes and ideas? The people who try to force these communities to be as homogeneous as possible are absolutely unfathomable to me.

It’s all just so simultaneously misogynist, transphobic, biphobic, and homophobic all in one. Congratulations, we have hit the Idiot Jackpot.

[professional-termite]

Give me your HM headcannons or else I will also eat your HM fanart

(your style is so squishy and warm like a freshly baked brownie or cookie)

you would EAT the termites art?? you would eat the termites art like cookie??? oh! oh! jail for anon!! jail for anon for 1000 years!!!

but seriously, i will GLADLY spew all my headcanons at you (buckle up anon!!) (also, thank you!!! this made my day :D)

kent:

first off, i like to think that his dad was an actual priest. idk which denomination (i think thats the word) he would be. basically, i headcanon that movie kent is queer (not labelled or anything. in my au hes gay tho) basically, his dad didnt accept him, and since kent was a basement dweller still living with his dad, his dad kicked him out, which is how kent ended up in new orleans working at a costume store and pretending to be a priest.

also, i headcanon that he was living out of his car during the movie, and thats why he was so excited to move into the mansion/do all the food runs. hes homeless.

also, he plays d&d and his character is 100% a half-elf cleric.

ben:

bisexual he/they. idk if he uses the label masc enby or demiboy, but...look at him. the most bisexual he/they to ever bisexual he/they.

also he has autism. thats canon because i say so.

gabbie:

i havent seen this one as much, but i also hc gabbie as bi. she just gives off the vibes idk.

also, i like to think that she used to play volleyball in high school. not for any particular reason, she just seems like the type who would be like "yeah im just a mom, lets play volleyball with my middle aged friends :)" and then she just absolutely MURDERS everyone

leota:

lesbian.

also, she charges $3 every time someone asks her a question post-canon. for kent, the price is $5. she calls it the idiot tax. she thinks kent is the biggest idiot to ever be stupid.

harriet:

LESBIAN.

also, she has, like, teenage-girl style posters of leota all over her room. i think, by extension, her celebrity crush would be jamie lee curtis (if she exists in this universe.)

also, i like to think that she would be a jennifer tilly simp (in homage to the original leota actress) and she would be a total chucky lore buff.

travis:

hes got the autistic swagger as well. once everyone gets used to him at school he ends up with a load of friends that think hes actually really cool. he gets to brag about having such a big family, and he tells "elaborate" stories about ghosts during class.

bruce:

elder gay. he helps kent come to terms with himself, and acts like the father-figure he needed. he's supportive whenever kent needs it, lightens the mood when the mood calls for it, and teases kent like hes a middle schooler whenever kent talks about who hes romantically interested in.

(i hope you dont mind that i didnt do any ghost hcs--i feel like not many hm blogs focus on the people from this movie! if you want to hear my ghost hcs, feel free to ask :D)

[readreactrant]

Hello, just want to say, thanks for your recs and reviews. I started Yatagarasu because of you, and I love it so much.....The story and characters are all amazing... I did not see the plot twist at all until the end....

Also, Yukiya and Wakamiya's dynamics are just so great....Found a new fav ship from the series....Thanks again, @readreactrant ....🤩😆

Oh, have you watched "Delico's Nursery" (maybe you'll like it, too)....?

Tf is a Delico's Nursery?!

Is what I would ask if I was uncultured 😏

More on that soon.

Dnana my precious you are very welcome, and I'm so happy you like Yatagarasu, helping people find some underrated shows they'll enjoy is definitely something I can’t help but be a lil stupid passionate about. Especially in a season that just seems to be choked with generic isekai and het incest/pseudo incest romance anime.

The queers, when will our generic gay isekai incest fantasy start 🥲😭 (More on Wistoria wand and sword in another post.)

Glad you like the ship too, let us all manifest them becoming popular so we might have some fics, fanart and doujins 🙏

I'd do it all myself but I'm in a writing slump and my art could give Satan nightmares.

Moving on lmao...Delico's Nursery is...all I would ever want from a vampire centred baby sitting anime.

I genuinely wanted to talk about this when I had draft and screenchots sorted out but fuck it we ball!

Imagine Buddy Daddies but Vampires with four dumbass homosexual fathers instead of two!!! What more can you ask for?!

"But Ren, they have/had wives 🤓☝"

Have a cup of whimsy once in a while is all I say to that.

If I had to pick 2 things I gripe with it very rarely those would be the names and the way the animation does my boys' faces so dirty at times.

They literally look like they're in agony in some still frames so be prepared for the plot, the ✨DRAMAAA✨ and character interactions to do some heavy lifting at times. Settings though are drop dead gorgeous with the most immersive atmospheric feel to them, everywhere is so washed and somber like I'd expect a vampire world to be, no shade to Case study of Vanitas, execution is key and both shows are nailing their moods for me.

Now for the names...tf name's their child Dali Delico??? Sounds like some Italian deserted I'd eat without hesitation.

Know who else I'd eat (out) without hesitation???

Gayhard Fra. (I know that's not how his name is spelt but it might as well be correct).

He is blond, he's a tsundere and his outfit is literally too sexy for me to think straight. Full coverage ain't hiding that snatched waist and the fact he would degrade me only makes it hotter. Not mention his son is absolutely the most adorable thing ever oh my God 🥰😍

Other members in our team of hopeless dads are *checks notes* Dino Classico and Henrique Lorca.....

All I have to say is, Behind the name probs wasn't used in the writer's room cuz these might have a sort of relation to the characters but they sound dumb, I'm sorry 😶

Now I'm done dissing names and simping for Gayhartron, go and watch Delico's Nursery I BEG OF YOU, ITS ACTUALLY GOOD RN. I really don't think it'll be disappointing but what will be is if we don't get a season two cuz it didn't turn a profit so move move move!!!

I don't have much to say rn without spoiling cuz this show is definitely something you should watch for yourself, unlike buddy Daddies though, I know it won't be for everyone, especially the animation. It seems like it's an anime original, or adapted from a stage play (I might be thinking of another show don't sue me) cuz I couldn't find a manga on my sites, so yeah if things don't end this season, our chances of getting more hang in the balance.

The opening is a bop though so stay every episode for that and the cute kids if nothing else interests you.

Thanks for reading my word vomit as always, and Dnana it's a pleasure anytime 💕

[gayelectro]

7 and 13 for the general selfship ask game :)

- @aro-simp

OMG THANK YOU FOR THE AAAASK 💞

7. If you could choose one f/o to be with you RIGHT NOW who would it be, and why?

Bull Armor from Shippu! Iron Leaguer! Really, he's my main/only.

(The one with the horns.)

I just love him sooooo much and I've never selfshipped this hard before, I would love to have him here with me! Hell, it would be interesting for him to meet my wife! 💦

13. How close do you prefer to stay to canon?

I like staying really, really close to canon, but with some caveats and conditions in there.

I wanna stay so close to canon that I flesh out the world within Iron Leaguer, but unto itself, these fleshing outs are indeed rooted in headcanons and idealizations. So for example, I set forth that Iron Leaguer takes place in the early 90s (when the show released), but it is in an alternative reality where technologies advanced at a different rate. People aren't walking around with cell phones yet, but at the same time, there's robots that are so advanced that they essentially have souls. And folks treat that as normal, not new or strange.

Then comes the headcanons, where it's pure extrapolation of the groundwork I set forth. Leaguers seem to be 1) the main form of entertainment for humans and 2) really fucking gay, so I think that this is also a world where queer identities have been normalized and accepted much earlier than in our real timeline. So me, being an openly queer agender HRT-taker, isn't out of place even though our story is taking place in the 90s.

Then there's also the fact that I personally despise the OVA, so it's not canon to our timeline together. I treat our relationship as like, a sequel series to the show, supplanting the OVA entirely. The OVA does not exist.

There's nuance there that I always try to acknowledge. I say I stay "true to canon", but it's my interpretation of the canon. I wouldn't be upset if Sunrise (for some reason) said that like, Iron Leaguer doesn't take place on Earth at all, or that it actually takes place in the year 3869 but humanity decided that cell phones were stupid in 2080, or something. And I don't ever want other Leaguer fans to think I'm insisting that my version or understanding of canon is the only one, because it's not!

Mostly, it ends up meaning "the robots have no fleshy bits, they exclusively drink oil, and yes, I do have to adjust his mouth guard every time I want to kiss him".

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Welcome to Columbia Untisemity

Kelcy: Hi everyone, we are live on YouTube with Colombia Untisemity News, where everyone is welcome. LGBTQH…

Wordle: H?

Kelcy: Hamas.

Wordle: Yeah, I totally simp Hamas, it's so trending right now.

Both: From The River To The Sea! Palestine will be free!

Kelcy: Do you know why it's true? Because it rhymes. Just look at all this toxic Zionist propaganda. Kidnapped in Gaza? Does this look like Gaza to you?

Wordle: Yeah, brah, I have no idea what Gaza looks like…

Kelcy: And they're smiling… do hostages smile? Zionist liars!

Wordle: Totally sus…

Kelcy: Do they think we're stupid?

Wordle: Stupid? I major in queer post-colonial astrology. Ew! Jews make the world dirty. And no, I'm not antisemitic, I'm racist-fluid.

Kelcy: Exactly. And now for a little break from all this activism, we want to say hello to our BFF:

Wordle: Bestie Freedom Fighter!

Kelcy: Abu Fatua in Gaza. Salam aleykum.

Abu: Aleykum salam, and inshallah, Allah will kill all you infidels.

Wordle: Thank you so much for joining us. I love the head-piece. The whole oppression chic… very drip.

Kelcy: Mister Fatwa, how are you? Are you safe?

Abu: Oh yes, I'm safe. I'm in a tunnel under the Gaza Hospital. Above me I have Allah and 2 million civilians protecting me.

Kelcy: Community is so important these days.

Wordle: Do you need like humanitarian aid? Food? Fuel? Medicine?

Abu: It's okay, I have everything. I'm only hungry for rockets.

Wordle: As long as it's organic. I wish I could be right there with you.

Abu: You can. You can come to Gaza any time, and we will throw you from the roof, you homosexual dirt.

Wordle: Do you hear? They want to throw me a rooftop party!

Kelcy: They are so welcoming and inclusive…

Wordle: So Shukran! And you are also very welcome to come here to America.

Abu: We will come. First, we finish with Israel and America is next.

Kelcy: Great! So, I guess we'll see you soon.

Abu: Yes, it would be a blast!

Wordle: I can't wait. It will be so multicultural.

Abu: Ya Allah, you are so stupid.

Kelcy: Thank you so much Abu, we love you!

Abu: I won't even bother killing you, it's a waste of bullets.

Wordle: Good Vibes only.

Abu: It's better you just kill yourself.

Wordle: Okay bye!

Abu: Die.

Both: From the river to the sea! Palestine will be Jews-free!

Kelcy: Yeah, that sounds better.

Wordle: It is better.

==

Eretz Nehederet (meaning, "A Wonderful Country") is an Israeli prime-time television satirical sketch comedy show.

Shockingly accurate. My new favorite term is "racist-fluid."