#since it seems to involve a lot more yelling and drama

[thestrangestthing89]

I like that the main couples have followed a similar trajectory.

Jopper works well together from the beginning and they have some conflict in the middle. In S2 it was that Joyce was dating Bob and Hopper is clearly jealous. In S3 they aren't on the same page because Hopper is ready to have a normal life and Joyce is grieving. But they are on the same page now at the end of S4 and together. It's implied they will be working together again like they were in the earlier seasons while being a couple. It also seems to be a foregone conclusion that they will be a family and raise their kids together.

Lumax works well together once Lucas tells Max what's been going on in Hawkins with the lab in S2. They have some conflict in S3 with juvenile breakups. They are broken up in season 4 for more serious reasons - because Max is depressed and isolated herself. But they are now on the same page again and it seems like they will be working well together again once Max is awake.

Jancy always worked well together for the the first two seasons. They have some minor conflict in S2 similar to Jopper - Nancy is with Steve and Jonathan doesn't like it. But they are a couple by the end of the season. They have some conflict in S3 and S4 where they aren't on the same page. In S3 it's because they aren't understanding each others perspectives about how to handle their hostile workplace. In S4 it's because Jonathan is holding back about why he didn't apply to college. But the college thing isn't solely about Nancy, it's about him feeling obligated to his family. And Jonathan and Nancy have always worked well together so them working through this too makes sense. I think it's possible they may breakup for a bit and go to separate colleges but I think they will still talk to each other about their families and Hawkins during this time. Once the drama starts building up at the end of the season it makes sense that they would work well together again like always. Continuing to follow the same trajectory as the other couples.

Byler is separated in the beginning because of Will's disappearance but Mike's entire storyline revolves around him and it's clear he cares about Will. They work well together throughout S2. There is conflict in S3 and Will calls Mike out for not acting like himself. In S4 Mike acknowledges Will was right and they spend the whole season problem solving their situation about how to get back to El and Hawkins together. It seems very likely that with the drama early on in the season that they will be working well together again since they always do. It makes sense that Mike would be protective of Will again since we have seen this established in S1 and S2. And also a bit in S3 - Mike notices something is wrong with Will at the movie theater and by the end of the season when they know something is wrong Mike listens to Will and helps to create a plan.

So the endgame couples follow a pattern. Work as a team -> conflict -> reunite/resolve conflict -> work as a team.

Then there is Mileven and Stancy.

Mileven meets and fights a lot through S1. They are also separated twice through the season - once when Mike leaves her on the side of the road when Will's fake body is found, and once when El runs off after she hurts Lucas and Mike yells at her. They also end up separated at the end of S1 and only reunite at the end of S2. They don't work well together in S1. There is a lot of fighting and their teamwork isn't as a couple (they aren't a couple at this point, but they also aren't a duo). It involves Lucas and Dustin too. They don't interact much in season one and even though El comes back at the end to help, it's not her and Mike teaming up to save Will. They both help Will separately. In fact, Mike is supposed to wait at the Byers house while El goes off to close the gate. But Mike goes off to help Will in a way that he saw earlier in the season - he knows the fire in the tunnels will help draw out the MF from Will because he watched it happen. It had nothing to do with something El told him. They didn't discuss this. S3 we see more conflict. They are together in the beginning and it causes conflict with the rest of the group - their friends and Hopper are not happy about this relationship. They breakup and are apart for a lot of the season. When they reunite to problem solve it's again, not as a duo but with the whole group. They are sort of a couple at the end? I guess. El decides they are back together so... In S4 we see more conflict. Their relationship isn't doing great. They breakup again (yes, the From El letter was her dumping his ass) and she runs off back to the lab. They are separated most of the season while Mike spends his season working as A TEAM (a thing that was stated directly) with Will. They reunite and still aren't discussing their problems but aren't even speaking at the end of the season.

They aren't following the pattern.

Stancy doesn't either. They are together in S1 but it's clear Nancy has reservations about it. They aren't on the same page. It results in her neglecting Barb and Barb disappearing. Steve doesn't care about this which results in Nancy finding someone who does - Jonathan. Steve and Nancy are a couple at the end of the season but it feels forced and random considering everything that happened this season. They are together in S2 but are still having problems and breakup (yes, the alley conversation was a breakup). Nancy spends all season with Jonathan and her and Steve are officially over at the end. They don't interact one-on-one in S3 and the teamwork here has to do with the whole group.

S4 has them working together, but again it's with the whole group. Nancy and Steve don't exactly work well together. Nancy holds back from him at first about her suspicious about the Creels because he's dismissed her before. Nancy works better with Robin and pairs herself off with her a couple times. When the group comes up with the plan at the end it's a bad plan. Max dies, the town is destroyed and multiple people die, Vecna isn't killed. They aren't a great team.

They don't followed the pattern either.

Mike/El and Nancy/Steve don't ever work one-on-one together the way the other couples do. Jopper, Jancy, Lumax, and Byler are always paired off together. Even though we haven't seen Lumax and Byler alone exactly, this is more because of their ages. They still manage to have moments where they are clearly communicating and working together though. In S2, Byler had their crazy together conversation and Mike is able to find a way to help Will with his possession because he listened to Will. So he's able to communicate to Joyce and Hopper what's wrong and help him. Lucas talks to Max about her depression and helps come up with a plan to help her with Kate Bush.

Both Byler and Lumax have scenes where they are talking through their problems. Since they are older now, I think we may see scenes next season where they are off together without a group around. I think Mike is tied into the story with Henry and he will be helping Will like he always has since the start of the series. And Lucas is very supportive and protective of Max and will want to keep helping her through everything. It makes sense narratively for Mike to be with Will next season and for Lucas to be with Max.

But I cannot think of any reason why Mike would need to suddenly out of nowhere learn to work as a team with El. Are they supposed to magically learn to communicate overnight? Will they suddenly be on the same page, again out of nowhere? They have never been a team. They have always worked separately and this benefits the group. They don't support each other the way they need to be supported.

Same with Steve and Nancy. They get people killed whenever they are together because they aren't on the same page. Mike and El killed Max too, in the same way Steve and Nancy killed Barb. Nancy and Mike weren't being honest and it resulted in the loss of a friend. Steve was not ok with the plan at the end of the season and tried to stop it at first. He gave in pretty quickly. He doesn't challenge her when she is wrong and he dismisses her feelings often (with regard to Barb and when she is upset about the Vecna vision). They are not a team and never have been.

Mileven and Stancy don't follow any clear path. They are a mess. Whereas all the other couples have a trajectory that from a writing standpoint, makes a lot of sense. You can understand the formula they are following and it doesn't feel like it's a roller coaster ride that is all over the place. Which is why I'm always exhausted by both of those relationships. The constant back and forth and breaking up and getting back together and endless conflict is so tiring to watch. If they wanted them to be endgame they would have written them to be a team. But instead they stress how they don't work as a team. And it stands out in comparison to the couples that do work well together.

[wandaluvstacos]

i've come to truly hate all the "DAMN CORSETS I HATE THEM SO MUCH" that constantly shows up in historical dramas because like... women controlled their own fashions from the 1700s into the late 1800s. Prior to that, women's fashions were often dictated by men who ruled trade organizations, and from the early 1900s to TODAY, it remains controlled by men. For some reason we think we're so enlightened and sexism is over or whatever, but women were actually doing much better for themselves fashion wise in the 1850s than they're doing now.

I'm not a fashion historian but Abby Cox is, so you should watch her video on the matter. I'm not saying women had no say in the eventual death of the corset-- surely it was women who decided to adapt it and adapt it until it basically became a girdle/bra and then just a bra, but fashion currently is an industry controlled and dictated mostly by men and then contracted out to the poorest women on the planet so that they can slave in factories for 12-14 hours a day making your shirt for $15. Where as in the 1700s, a woman could make a decent income on making clothes for other women, and there was not necessarily any man that was involved in the process. The death of the corset wasn't put in motion simply because of feminism and women's rights. I think industrialization was more of a nail in the coffin, as ready-to-wear garments made in bulk in factories made the highly individual process of corset making irrelevant, since dresses had to be fitted to these individual corsets in order to look flattering. Also, new materials started to flood the market, like spandex and elastic and everything that now goes into bras to make them comfortable.

No man was ordering women to wear corsets in the 1800s, just like the reason you wear a bra today isn't because you feel like men will yell at you if you don't. It's for comfort, it's for fit, it's for "basic decency". And women in historical dramas wouldn't comment on "having" to wear a corset; the idea of not wearing one would seem bizarre. And the more $60 bras I have to buy, the more wearing a corset starts to make a lot of sense. It's ONE garment you have that gets more comfortable the more you break it in/wear it, it's built from strong fabrics and lasts years, and it means less strain is put on the clothes you wear over it. Also, I feel like it'd be a blessing for me since my back loves to give me issues from time to time.

Women who worked in the fashion industry, collectively, were better off (financially) in the 1700s than they are now, where they currently fill factories across many countries in Asia and work long hours for terrible pay or are literal slaves so that some fashion conglomerate with a CEO making $45M a year can sell you $30 distressed jeans. The stories of what's going on are inescapable. So yeah, I do get angry when shows act like the corset is some kind of woman-oppressing machine.

MODERN FASHION is a woman-oppressing machine, on a scale your great-great-great-great-great grandmother could never comprehend.

[lyranova]

Hi there, Lyra! Sending you lots of love and well wishes! 💖 I hope it's okay to send in more than one BC opinions ask for you, but I saw you're closing them soon so I wanted to send this one in: what are your thoughts on the "House Vaude Soap Opera/Love Drama" (or the "Langris, Finesse, Finral, Vanessa (and whoever else you might want to throw in there) love shape")? I've got a love-hate relationship with it myself because while it is probably the subplot I'm the most passionately invested in (and that I've written about at length), but it feels so unnecessarily complicated and frustratingly convoluted and makes me want to bang my head against the wall more than Finral is (which, I am sorry to say, is saying a lot...)

Apologies for the Mini-Rant, but here are some of my feelings: they really threw it in with no warning in the Royal Knights Exam Arc after the anime baited Vanessa and Finral a lot, which is an anime problem but still the emotional whiplash of throwing love interest in there after all that and not only that but then the narrative expects us to accept that Finral not only actually loved Finesse all along but also loves her so much that he is willing to return to his toxic, abusive home in order to be with her (and we're all supposed to be okay with that?) despite the fact he didn't even think about her for 80 episodes and she is basically engaged to his brother (which, how is everyone involved in this just okay with the fact that they have this arranged marriage agreement but the Lord & Lady Vaude just won't say which son Finesse is actually engaged to? Surely Finesse's parents have concerns about this at least? Regardless, it's clear this is all for Langris's benefit since they want him/have always intended for him to inherit, but seriously (and maybe I'm just old fashioned but) brothers really shouldn't share a fiancée and if you're engaged you should probably know who your fiancé actually is... Why is no one bringing this up?) And it just kept getting worse & more convoluted from there since conveniently ignoring the fact that Finesse and Langris are basically engaged, Finral then declares "war" on his brother and kind of yells at both of them while Langris is injured that he's going to be the one to make Finesse happy & win her heart in the end and Langris seems to actually be helping(?) him with this [for reasons that are still unclear...? Though I personally suspect it's because he actually loves her (not necessarily in a romantic way but enough that he's willing to give up what he's worked for his entire life for her happiness)] and okay, yes, this is a soap opera but it's fine/forgivable if they just stopped it here BUT NO...THEN Finral keeps banging his head against the wall trying convince everyone (and himself???) that she's "the only one" for him and that he can't even be in the same room as another woman and needs to go back to his abusive home just to be with her... 🙄 Bringing up so many uncomfortable questions like "does he actually love her or does he just feel like he needs to/is he forcing himself to in order to become the head of House Vaude and prove himself to his family? ect. ect. which, I'm sorry, but if a story wants to sell me on "Character A's love for Character B is so incredibly strong that they are willing to even return to their toxic home life in order for the two of them to be together" these questions should NOT exist! Don't get me wrong, I like Finral x Finesse as a ship (It's totally adorable and has so much potential--I actually really like it a lot which is why this is so frustrating), but I just feel like it could have been handled SO MUCH BETTER which is honestly kind of infuriating. Seriously it should not be this hard or this complicated!)

Anyway, I'm very curious what you think and how you'd most like to see that all shake out in the end? (I know you've paired Finral with Vanessa in COTF but what do you imagine happens to Langris? Which one takes over the estate? Do you think Finral and Finesse ever tried to make it work but it just didn't work out? ect.). This might be a big ask so please take as long as you need (and don't feel obligated to answer it at all if it's too much) and I apologize again for all the ramblings. Excited to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much, dear! 💕

------

Hiya Acacia! I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get to this 😭, I've been playing catch up on everything while also doing some IRL things 😆, but now to answering your question!

The Finral x Finesse ship was totally sudden to me, and I'll admit I was very taken aback and a bit upset about it 😆! Because the anime was leaning and hinting at Finral x Vanessa so much (I mean, when he blushed and teared up at her complimenting him during the Royal Knight Exam hello???) that I was already sold on the ship. But then...Finesse came along and kind of threw me off and made me go "wait what?"

I think Finesse, and her introduction, should/could have been handled much better then it was. If they would have hinted at him having someone else he loved back at House Vaude, or even just had him say "I want to get stronger, because I have someone waiting/depending on me" then I would have been a little more...okay with them introducing Finesse as his love interest (btw I like Finesse as a character, I'm putting all the blame on the writing and how they chose to introduce her!). But because it was just kinda thrown in there like "oh btw, we forgot to mention Finral has a love interest so all the teasing we did for Finral x Vanessa was just to misdirect you 😆!".

As you can see...I'm still pretty salty about this 😅!

Now onto the drama with House Vaude and the engagment 👀!

I personally don't like the whole "both share a fiance" thing either, it just feels...wrong 😅. I understand this used to be a thing Royal Families did in history (basically if the elder broher was dead or otherwise incapacitated then sometimes the family would have her marry the younger brother) but it still doesn't feel right 😭! I think the Vaudes probably had the engagment between Finral and Finesse planned out since they were little/babies, but then they realized Langris was more powerful and thought more like them than Finral and so they felt it was better if Finesse married Langris.

I feel like the reason Finral would want to go back to House Vaude is a lot deeper then just maybe being with Finesse. Maybe he wants to change House Vaude and make it better? Make it more accepting and less greedy? I dunno. I'll admit it does feel...like he's trying to convince himself in some instances when he's banging his head against a wall and saying that he only loves Finesse 😅, I know it's played up for laughs, but still 😅.

Finral x Finesse does have a lot of potential! I could easily see the two of them together (even though I prefer Finral x Vanessa), i just think they could have handled it a lot better then they have. I personally think Langris and Finesse are a little more suited for each other, because she softens his rough edges and makes him a better person and helps him grow, and I don't really see her doing that with Finral, but that's just me ��!

I agree, it should have been handled a lot better, but...it is what it is (luckily we have fanon that can fix it 😌!). Now onto how I seeing it all play out!

I personally see it playing out as Finral and Finesse getting together, but they both leave the Vaude estate and let Langris have it. Why? Because Finral only ever wanted to repair his relationship with his brother and win the love of his life's heart (fairly ofc), he never wanted the house. He was willing to take it on for Finesse's sake, but it wasn't his goal if that makes sense 😆! I can see Finral and Finesse dating and it not working out, or I can see them getting married and having children! Honestly it could go either way 🤔.

In COTF I have it where Finral realizes that the love he felt for Finesse was no longer a romantic one, but more of a friend/familial love. Now she'll always have a special place in his heart as his first love, but now his heart belongs to someone else (Vanessa).

Thanks for asking Acacia, and I'm sorry this was all over the place, but I still hope you enjoyed!

[ronweasleysleftnut]

3 from the romance prompt and 5 from the smut prompts with Steve please <3

Prompts:

This is me trying not to scare you away.

Please kiss me already.

This turned more into an angst to romance/fluff (didn't end up adding smut) lol but I hope you like it anyways <3

T/W - This story does involve mentions of physical abuse. If you don't want to read about that, I suggest you please skip this story and catch me in the next one <3

Opening Wounds - Steve Harrington

It was hard to get close to Steve. Although he seemed like a happy, cool guy on the outside, he had a lot of problems. Him and Y/n have been friends since they were kids, although he's never even opened up to her, not really.

At their high school graduation however, when his parents didn't show, Steve revealed a side of himself she had never seen before.

He had problems with his parents, that was noticeable from the moment she meant him, but she never really knew the extent of them. She knew they traveled a lot, and she had a feeling (although never confirmed) that his dad had a lot of... anger. But she never, ever, thought that they'd miss an event as big as his graduation.

Steve shrugged it off at first. We arrived early, we were supposed to meet our families beforehand and direct them to their seats before the ceremony started. Mr. and Mrs. Harrington however, never showed. Steve was left alone watching the other students direct some sort of family, even Y/n.

When she came back to where he was standing in line, he smiled as usual. "Hey" Y/n said, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Did your parents never show?" She asked, and Steve's smile only faltered for a minute before he responded "Nah, they're still out of town" he says, "But it's fine" He waves it off, and in doing this removes Y/n's hand from his shoulder.

She can tell he's upset though, his smile doesn't go quite to his eyes. It never does when he talks about them. "Steve..." She starts, but before she can speak again she hears their principal call in front. "Everyone to your places please! We're about to start" He yells, and Y/n looks between the principal and Steve a couple times before biting her lip "We'll talk after" She says, "Of course" Steve responds, and he lets her run off to her proper place in line.

The ceremony went smoothly, names were predictably butchered but at least no one tripped on stage. Afterwards, the students and parents were sent to the gym for an after party. When you entered, there was a photo booth for families to take a picture with the graduate.

Steve walked in, reluctantly, by Y/n's side with her parents. When they got to the photo booth however, he refused to come in. "C'mon Steve!" Y/n said, trying to pull him into the booth "You're practically family anyways!" But the boy removed her hand and took a step back, "It's fine, really" He said, and the same fake smile appeared on his face "I'll just wait out here" but when Y/n got out of the booth, he was gone.

She excused herself, letting her parents go off into the party as she ran out of the gym. She looked both ways down the hallway, and when she didn't see Steve, she just continued walking. She looked around at the people crowding the hallways, but she didn't see him anywhere. Finally, right when she was about to give up, she remembered a place he might be.

Steve tended to skip class, a lot. And although in his Junior and Senior year he stopped doing so as much, he still had the same place he'd go to when he needed a break from class. It was an old drama room, practically the size of a closet. No one went in there anymore since Hawkins got a new drama room years prior. And so one day, Steve broke the lock, and since then he's been going in there.

Y/n walked to this same room now, and when she saw the door slightly ajar, she knew he'd be there.

She cracked the door open more, slipping into the dark room. Steve had previously moved some supplies into the room as well, food, entertainment, and a light source. "One thing my parents are good for, money" She remembered him saying the first time he had shown her the room.

The boy was sitting in the corner, his legs curled into his body and his eyes staring at the ground in front of him. He wasn't crying, but she could see the sadness in his dead eyes. Y/n tiptoed over and slowly sat herself down next to the boy, alerting him of her presence by bumping her knee against his own.

"Hey..." She whispered, and he finally looked over at her and grunted in response. "You left" She continued, stating the obvious to the boy. "I... I just couldn't be in that room" He said, looking away from her again. "I'm sorry" She says, looking away too "I didn't even think of that" But Steve shakes his head at this, "It's not your fault, you don't have to take care of me" Although Y/n felt like she did have to take care of him, especially since he didn't have anyone else to do so.

She looked back over at him, and gulped before reaching her hand over to his own and intertwining their fingers. "Steve" She said, and when he didn't respond she continued "Steve you're my best friend, and I love you more than anyone else in this world" At this he finally looked up, although his eyes were still trained in front of him "I just... I want to know what's wrong"

He bit his lip before turning his head to the girl, and for the first time in her life, Y/n saw Steve with tears in his eyes. She had never seen him cry before, not when he fell, not when his parents yelled, not even when his pet dog died. "I don't want to scare you away" Steve said quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of speaking.

Y/n felt her heart sink at his words, and she scooted closer to the boy, placing her other hand in his and holding them tight. "You could never scare me away" she says with finality, but Steve still looks away, not meeting her eyes. "Steve" She says, her voice hard and determined as she moves so that she's sitting in front of him, "Do you understand? Nothing you say could ever scare me"

He finally looks up and meets her eyes, the tears already gone. "I love you, Y/n" He says, and she can tell by the way he says it, that he means it. "And I want to tell you everything. I always have, but I've been so scared" Y/n gulps, taking it in, but she nods and prompts him to continue.

Steve takes a moment before he speaks, starting from the beginning. "My dad, when I was younger, when he got mad... well he hit me" Y/n's eyes widened at his words, but Steve's own face stayed solid as he continued "Mom didn't like it, but she didn't stop it either" Steve nods at his own words, and Y/n repeats the motion herself, squeezing his hands in reassurance. "When they started going on vacations, it was like heaven. They'd be gone, and I'd be left alone with cash to buy whatever food I wanted. I could have friends over, and, as I got older, I could have parties." He smiles at the last part, but then his face solidifies again as he continues "But it was also really lonely... I started calling my mom, but she only answered sometimes. At first they'd come home every holiday, but then they didn't" he shrugged at this, "I got used to living alone. I just never thought they'd miss this..."

He looks down again, and Y/n sits in front of him in silence for a moment, taking in all that he just told her before responding. "Steve... I'm sorry, I just- I never knew it was this bad" He shrugged, "I never told you" Steve always said he was with his grandparents for the holidays, but now Y/n realizes he must've been at home alone.

"Stevie..." She whispered, and scooted into the boy, hugging him close. His arms wrapped around her as well, and when they pulled apart their faces were inches from each other. "Y/n..." he whispered, "Steve" she responded, their breath mixing at how close they were. "Thank you" He said, his mouth moving closer to her own "Of course..." She responded, but the last part of her sentence was blocked out by Steve's lips meeting her own.

She felt all his pain in the kiss, but all his passion as well. She kissed him back with just as much emotion, and they only pulled apart when they were both out of breath. "I have something to confess" Steve says with a laugh, and Y/n nods "I've been wanting to do that for ages" He whispers breathily, their mouths still closer than normal.

"Come to holidays with my family" She responds, her voice just as quiet as his own. And maybe it was the bliss of their first kiss, or maybe it was Steve's clarity after finally opening up, but he nodded. She smiled, and continued "I know you don't want to seem weak, but trust me, opening up is the strongest thing you've ever done"

They sit there for a little longer, Steve wrapping his arms around Y/n and her head resting against his warm chest. Until eventually they get up and head back to the party, not wanting Y/n's parents to question her absence for too long. Steve goes in with her, greeting her parents with his usual enthusiasm. And as she watched Steve walk around the gym, she knew he'd be okay.

[iluminaru]

Totally endless drama: An unclear start

Cody was lying on his bed, just staring at the plain white ceiling. It was a nighttime, and the only thing he was able to hear were owls, hooting somewhere on a pine near his window. It has been almost 6 years since Cody was on the Total drama, or any TV show for that matter. Maybe, for the exception of those two interviews around 3 to 4 years ago involving the Drama Brothers. Oh yes, the Drama Brothers. Cody really liked being in this band, how sad that good things in his life are quickly coming to an end. The band broke up 4 years ago. Justin preferred his modeling career over their music, Harold wanted to spend more time studying programming, just like that, the group began to crumble. After the end of Drama Brothers, Cody has lost himself, not knowing what to do next. He was so naive, though that he will forever be in the band, and foolishly dropped out of a high school in order to spend more time improvising music skills, only for the band to come crashing down and leaving him with no education, no opportunities and no future. His parents was mad at him for making such stupid decisions, but they quickly cooled off and forgot about Cody's existence like always. Every night Cody has been rethinking his entire life, pitting, feeling embarrassed, laughing at himself. He's turning 23 in few months, he must start doing something with his life. Cody's bed is warm and soft, but now for him it's cold and scratchy, it feels like a trap, like he can't move, can't get up and do something useful. He wants to punch himself, yell "Get your lazy butt out of here!". But he can't. He is too weak for that. Unable to take it anymore, he took his phone from underneath a pillow, and downloaded a dating app. "If I'm going to improve my life, then I should get a date first," he thought as he was filling his profile, of course, he did mention he was in a popular reality show. Just to have more texts. He set his preferences to both male and female, since he acknowledged his bisexuality many years ago. However, he has never actually dated a guy before, so it might be a good opportunity to finally try it. After a long time swapping, he stumbled across a profile that caught his attention. A British guy named Oscar, just two years older than him, kind, loves outdoors, works at a shelter, film lover(+critic), and, as stated in his profile, would love to have a first date at a cinema. From a profile description, he seems like a wonderful guy and would probably be able to help Cody to become better. Without a second thought, he swapped right. A match! Interesting, how will it go?

______________________ A first actual post on my td Aftershow AU! I'm so thrilled and terrified =)

I'm so sorry for any mistakes here, English isn't my first language and I'm only studying it yet.

Yes, Oscar is one of my OC specifically created for this AU. I won't put a lot of my OC in this story, but there will be a few.

[notsignedup]

                            meet  gwen ingrid  !

                                27 — ACTRESS/FILMMAKER

favorite song? stfu! by rina sawayama sexuality: pansexual  pronouns?: she/her  big three? scorpio sun / capricorn moon / taurus rising

growing up in a wasp-y suburban household may be the dream for some but not for gwen, even at a young age she knew she wasn’t meant for this life. no matter how hard her mother would try, gwen refused to subscribe to the norm. truth was, gwen took after the father that left and her mother hated that. gwen might’ve liked her dad more if he’d taken her with him wherever he was but instead she had to deal with an overbearing mother and an annoyingly perfect older brother. she never tried to reach the standard that her brother had set up for her, she knew there wasn’t any point in trying since it’s not what she wanted. what she really wanted was to leave home and move into the city. she actually had plans for doing that right after high school but her mom and brother beat her to the punch.

as a cruel prank, her brother convinced their mother in signing up gwen for a reality tv show. the terms were more or less that if she went, her mom to pay for the apartment she’d been eyeing on the condition that she stayed on the show long enough to make friends. it seemed like an easy enough job so she agreed and signed that abhorrent contract chris mclean had written up without reading. she was only 18 and didn’t think much of it but those clauses and provisions that would lead to more suffering down the line. but for the time she was a fresh out of high schooler among her costars in a dilapidated summer camp situation where they had to endure gruesome and nearly life-ending tasks. she managed to stay in the game long enough that she could’ve quit by the time she hit the final 4 but she was well into the game by then and figured winning $100k along with the apartment wasn’t bad so she pushed through and maneuvered her way into the finals. who knew she had it in her to possibly win this thing? definitely not gwen but the friends that she had made along the way were supportive of her and got her through. even though she didn’t win that season and didn’t really come close to winning any of the following seasons she was contractually obligated to participate in, she gained a lot more than she anticipated. she now had friends to count on and even got a boyfriend out of that first season. things were good before that second, third, and eventual all-star season.

over the course of three seasons, gwen managed to lose her boyfriend from the first season; gain feelings for duncan and kiss him while he was seeing her friend courtney; start dating duncan and gain tons of hate over it; self-loath herself for her own actions and try to gain courtney back as a friend which meant breaking up with duncan, all the while she was being tortured on live tv for everyone to see. those years were quite a ride but once her reality tv days were in the past, she went after things she actually liked. which incidentally involved movies, turns out she had some skill in acting and went right into low budget horror films to become the scream queen she was destined to be. acting eventually led into producing and even a bit of directing on her most recent films. while her total drama days are well behind her, she wouldn’t be surprised to hear chris slipped in a reunion special in one of those contracts.

HC’s:

the post-total drama life left gwen spiraling for a bit, she didn’t know how to handle so much hate after the popularity she gained after the first season. She still has a tiny fear that every time she leaves the house she’ll get yelled at. She pretends to not let it get to her but it’s hard to brush that off. Being off of social media has helped her mental state, there’s no longer so much criticism to every little thing she does.

gwen had to seriously re-evaluate her life after she ruined her friendship with courtney. she couldn’t believe she let a boy get in between everything, especially considering it was for duncan of all people. looking back she regrets it and would change everything if she could. gwen swore off relationships for the time being, however, hooking up is still on the table since there’s rarely a chance to get feelings hurt that way.

ever since the cheating scandal, gwen has sworn to be honest always and at all times. almost brutally honest just so there’s never any miscommunication ever again. the guilt of having to keep that secret really ate away at her, she can’t imagine doing that ever again.

you’ll rarely find gwen leave her apartment without some type of disguise whether it’s with a hat, hoodie, or sunglasses to ensure less people recognize her. on the occasion she does go out, her outings mostly consist of going on walks while listening to music, people watching/doodling, and going to horror film screenings.

it’s kind of hard to be around anyone from total drama, she has ptsd from all the torture she endured. while she loves and misses a lot of them, there’s that wall she puts up to not be reminded of gross challenges and petty grudges.

her insecurities really get to her when she's in a good relationship. she'll subconsciously self-sabotage things if her partners express too much love as seen with trent and duncan.

[incarnateirony]

Can I ask you something about Misha and Jensen? And I also heard the Winchesters cast messaged a tumblr blog for promo months ago and I wanted to know if you heard about that.

People can ask, not sure if i'll know or answer. The crew doesn't actually use tumblr for their communications. There's an account on tumblr that suffers major MHI and often pretends to be an employee of jensen, chaos machine, or more because they have liminal contact.

Generally speaking TPTB and their mercs don't. use. tumblr. Hell, it's pulling teeth to get them to use discord. And trust me. I know. I've made channels for some and they fuck off for a year until an emergency happens. They primarily use twitter or IG--possibly FB but IDK since I haven't touched it in ages (I do remember facetiming one like, 5 years ago tho). And that's only if you're a liminal contact. generally, you know, they're someone that will like. call you. on. a phone. even international.

odds are the Tumblr Blog That Messaged Asking For Promotion is the same motherfucker that's been pounding on my server walls yelling "BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW" like. i already told yall how. what do you want.

sdfksjdfksdjf tptb browse tumblr. they don't use it for communication. they hide and shitpost like the rest of us or just silently read or USE FUCKING MICROSOFT EDGE LIKE SORE THUMBS IT DRIVES ME INSANE ANY TIME I SEE YOU DUDE.

But for the many times, for example, statcounter has captured misha's footprint on my blog, of the [counts] 7 people trying to message me as him, RA, Gish, Jensen, CM or an affiliate of theirs on tumblr, zero were authentic. And uh. like. 5 of these at least are actually the same person.

so lmao. no, i haven't heard about it, but it's funny it's being said.

Danneel and Jensen engage by IG when not by phone guys. They're not going to crawl to the most backwater ass stagnant ass dying platform and like send a dm or anon to a blog asking for promo there while they're goddamn viral on IG 100000x larger.

sounds like someone's being taken for a ride by [redacted]. She Of One Thousand Accounts.

I still have 2 of their last alt's asks rotting in my inbox pretending to be affiliated.

anyway Drama Mc Fake Account realized they sorta fucked the plot on the central fandom promotion accounts by their drama monger games so now it's time to message a NEW blog. Maybe they'll pretend to work for radio company this time. They did that for me once. Pick your poison, who is She Of 1000 Accounts pretending to be today.

problem is, she has just enough contact to be able to seem real to people that don't know better. But it's generally inflated, or cropped dms, or a misrepresented danneel IG response. once in a while mild banter shares minor things. But it's just enough for them to keep pretending to be a wholesale, deeply itk employee to people that don't know what counter-questions to challenge with.

same person pikachufaced when my response to them being involved in an old sting operation that they tried to brag/gloat with: Yeah. I know. You recorded it. It's among the data that was handled and packaged in zips in folders.

She was all. WAIT YOU WERE PART OF THAT? Uh. fuckin. yeah. real connected up there aren't you. You just now figured this out? Did you miss the Manchin, Jess, Natalie and other itk attempting douchecanoes wiping out in the past? Etc etc. "That all happened?" Yeah. While you're showing off your semi active dm box for gold stars, a lot of us stayed busy and on track for years sweetie wtf

either way, sorry to that man* (gn) that got messaged and fell for it. for a while we almost did too, because they play it just right. But i've worked enough with enough actual. you know. people worth a shit. to realize when someone's just saying whatever gets them attention at the moment.

buyer beware: tptb aint gonna message you on tumblr man. they just ain't. i'm sorry. I don't care who you are.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch: season 4 recap

I always felt like season 4 was kind of the beginning of the downturn in quality for Voyager, and while this season wasn't as bad overall as I remembered, it definitely started some negative trends that impacted my enjoyment of the show. While I ended up liking more episodes than I disliked, with a lot of the ones that I 'liked' this season, many were only tolerable, rather than something I actually enjoyed, or have any desire to watch again.

Things I liked this season: All the two parters were absolute bangers this year! Scorpion, Year of Hell, and The Killing Game are all classics, and I wish they'd done more big stories like those, especially since they involved the whole crew.

Less unnecessary romantic subplots this year! Nobody got more than 1, and only six characters even had one this year. I guess the creepy old men calmed down when Kes left.

First contact with the Alpha Quadrant! The crew being able to finally let everyone back home know they're alive, and hear from their families and friends, was a lovely thing that made getting home seem so much closer and less of a forlorn hope.

Things I disliked this season: The mean-spirited streak that crept into the writing more and more as the season went on. The Voyager crew has always been a little more into teasing and jabs at each other than any other crew, but there was some genuine nastiness this season that felt like it came out of nowhere and didn't feel organic to the characters, nor proportionate to the situations they were in. The Doctor had been getting consistently meaner since the beginning of the series, but this season is where I finally tipped into outright disliking him. Up through Year of Hell, I was surprised by how much I liked Seven of Nine, and how much less mean she was than I remembered, until they abruptly decided she should be rude and nasty and arguing with everyone all the time. Even Tom, who had been improving so much during seasons 1-3, and had always been kind even to people who treated him like garbage, suddenly got some mean-spirited tirades sprinkled throughout the season, which were so nonsensical. Even sweet little Harry and the usually zen-like Tuvok said some jerky stuff to people, and it was just like, why?? Disagreement is one thing, but just having characters yell at each other or insult each other all the time, and not even apologize or addesss it, undermines their relationships, and undercuts the fun the audience should be having watching the show.

I didn't like losing Kes this year, though at least her send off was decent. I wasn't thrilled about gaining Seven of Nine, but her early episodes were pretty strong, and more interesting than her later ones, where they seemed to just give up on giving her nuance and decided to make her into a bratty teenager who fights with everyone constantly. Aside from the clumsy attempt to make her into a sex object with the world's dowdiest catsuit, I feel like they used her to undermine Captain Janeway's authority by having her argue with and defy her at every turn, even though it was never her place to do so. I can't imagine them writing a character who would behave that way to Picard or Sisko, let alone writing them tolerating it. It felt weird and misogynist to bring a new female character on and pat themselves on the back for being progressive, when said character was used to undermine another female character's authority, and also to insult the women in the audience by reminding us that the show is still run by men, and that they're only letting us have more female characters as long as they pander to the male gaze first and foremost. I feel like they missed an opportunity for some interesting drama when they decided to just make Seven rude and dismissive of everyone, since it's actually far more interesting when characters who like and respect each other are in conflict than all this teenage rebellion stuff they gave her.

Season stats:

Crew compliment at start of season: 148 (officially, but that number was inaccurate, it should have been 143.)

Crew compliment at end of season: They keep saying 150, but the number stated onscreen, is should be 142. By the actual count, it should be 137.

Crewmembers killed off: 6

Unnamed female bridge officer (Scientific Method)

Unnamed crewmember (The Killing Game)

3 unnamed enigineering officers (Living Witness)

Unnamed male bridge officer (One)

Romantic subplots:

B'Elanna- 1 with kiss (Tom- ongoing since s3)

Tom- 1 with kiss (B'Elanna- ongoing since s3)

Harry- 1 without kiss (his crush on Seven in Revulsion)

Seven- 1 without kiss (Harry's crush in Revulsion)

Neelix - 1 without kiss (the fruitseller in Random Thoughts)

Chakotay - 1 with kiss (the alien woman in Unforgettable)

Shuttles lost: 3 (series total: 6 confirmed)

1 -Kes took one when she left (The Gift)

1 - Shuttlecraft Cochrane, exploded (Day of Honor)

1 - Chakotay's shuttle, exploded (Nemesis)

Number of episodes I liked/disliked/mixed reaction:

Liked: 16

Disliked: 6

Mixed: 4

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two Chapter 5

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Two

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 98k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: With another Xiang in the mix, for the first time in history, Pangu decides to reevaluate his methods and his place in the world. Along with taking his little sister Heidi as his last disciple, he also chooses to take the more political path in his efforts to end the discord throughout the land—particularly within Terra. (And gaining favor from the handsome Lord of Ultimos does not hurt.)

Heidi butts heads with everyone in the group, save Raine, and tensions are higher than ever. There are failed love confessions, in-group fighting, and demons from Kira’s past but that all comes to a head when they meet a servant of Shakti who is more than what she seems.

Could it be that the Mistresses of Shadow are more nuanced than previously believed? Or that the strict dichotomy between light and dark are, perhaps, a touch exaggerated? That and more begin to plague Pangu’s mind and his faith wavers…

Full chapter 5 under the cut

Chapter V:

The worst part was that Heidi was not even wrong. Pangu did not believe he did much as the Xiang and he had been avoiding that fact for some time now. Having a new Xiang crowned as well as having Heidi point out the fallacies in front of her only shone a light on a problem that had existed for a while.

Pangu looked to his feet and tried to even out his breaths. His eyes stung from tears that threatened to spill but he managed to hold them back. Maybe, if it did start to rain, he would let them go.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Kira mumbled as another rumble of thunder sounded.

“It is okay. You were only mad for my sake…” Pangu gulped and looked up at his Terra and Agni disciples. Both appeared crestfallen but in different regards. He did not wish to upset them further. “Heidi’s words did not bother me. She’s just curious and she tends to say things without thinking about how they will come out…or what tone to use. She had always been like that so I am used to it.”

“She’s difficult,” Kira admitted. “I am not sure I can deal with her unless we come to some kind of compromise.” Or at all, he added mentally. For Pangu’s peace of mind he would at least make it sound as if he was willing to make an effort but whether that would actually come to pass was a lot harder to say. The idea of sitting down with the woman and talking things out was tantamount to stabbing himself under the fingernails with his knives.

“I know this is a bit sudden and off topic,” Baiya spoke up, getting the attention of both Pangu and Kira. “It’s a request if that is alright.”

Pangu felt the pressure in his chest ease as the subject shifted away from him. “Sure thing. What is it?”

“Yeah, what is it?” Kira seconded but sounded far more skeptical.

Baiya shot him a quick smile before putting all of his focus on Pangu. “Since we are so close to the border, I was wondering if we could stop by my family’s farm. It should only be a day and a half ride.”

It was a shorter distance to the farm than it was back to Ultimos and there was no urgent business in Ultimos either. Pangu had planned on just reconvening with Viren, getting his letter for the lord of Meala, and hitting the road again. Having a pit stop in Agni would not put them behind schedule at all.

Besides, he did care for Baiya’s family and seeing them might help bring the mood up overall.

So he smiled and nodded. “Of course.”

Baiya returned his smile and internally celebrated. He did want to see his family again, if for no other reason than to check on them, but he also wished to show Heidi a healthy brother-sister relationship. He had a feeling Loa would be good for her and he wanted them to talk.

Kira could see that there were clear ulterior motives but he made no effort to take Baiya to the side and ask. He would find out soon enough and if it involved burying Heidi or maybe tossing her off of a cliff then he wanted to be surprised. He had been lacking in pleasant surprises lately.

***

The trip across the border was much more awkward than any could have anticipated. Heidi did stay quiet, mostly only speaking to Raine and Pangu when necessary or when they checked in on her. Kira practiced his element by, occasionally, tripping the newest disciple which Baiya quickly caught onto.

“You had better stop,” he said, “She might end up blaming Pangu.”

Kira had not considered that so he sighed and crossed his arms. It had become his favorite way to pass time when they were not actively riding on their horses.

And Baiya was not the only one to notice. Raine hung back as Pangu trained with Heidi. They must have been only an hour or so out from their destination so Kira wondered what he wanted with him.

“Kira,” Raine addressed him in almost a formal manner. His face was rather stern as well. “The last time we were on foot, I noticed something.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Heidi kept tripping over sudden dips or inclines in the dirt. Even in the more sandy regions.”

“She’s pretty clumsy, huh?” Kira smirked but received no similar response.

“Are you…?” Raine led on, making the implication known.

Kira removed a hand from the reins and clutched the front of his shirt. “You think I was doing something? Raine, I would never.”

Despite the slight smirk that stayed on Kira’s face, Raine became more somber. “Oh, I am sorry. I should not have assumed…”

He was no fun to tease when he took things too seriously. In fact, Kira actually felt guilty for lying and he grappled with what to say to him. He would get a scolding, probably, but it might not have been unwarranted. He clicked his tongue and cursed himself for always having to lie even if it was not necessary.

Before he could admit that, yes, he had been tripping Heidi, Raine was called back to the front of the group by Pangu. Kira watched him go and deflated, feeling worse than before.

The farm was a different sight—the repairs had been taken care of so it was no longer in disarray but there was also a brand new building being constructed a short distance from the main house. It looked like a second house or, perhaps, an expansion.

Baiya dismounted his horse and cocked his head to the side at the sight of it. Everyone else followed and, in a matter of moments, the door to the main house was thrown open and two kids ran out screaming.

“Baiya!” Both Jaimas and Feiman shouted before colliding into the side of their older brother and hugging him with all of their force.

“You’re back!” Jaimas grinned from ear to ear as she looked up at him. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“I know, it’s a surprise.” Baiya squeezed them back. “Where’s mom? Loa?”

“Loa is off in Xiao,” Feiman answered with an exaggerated pout. His shaved head had been left unattended since they last saw him so a small puff of hair had grown in.

“Xiao?” Baiya repeated, confused.

Jaimas nodded and finally let him go so she could look at him easier. “She is studying with Lord Phay. And she helps make things better for people like us.”

He knew he would need to ask his mother for a more in depth explanation and he tried not to let it show on his face that he was disappointed that his sister was absent. She was the main reason he wished to stop by but, even in her absence, maybe Heidi could pick up on a nicer sibling dynamic thanks to Jaimas and Feiman.

The kids moved on from their brother to say hello to everyone else as they made their way to the house. Heidi also introduced herself to them, “I’m Heidi—Pangu’s sister.”

“Ooooh,” Jaimas nodded understandingly, “That’s why you look so similar.”

They found Daiji and Duobu in the dining room, chatting over tea but whatever they had been talking about was abandoned at first sight of Baiya. Daiji jumped from her chair and threw her arms around her son’s neck. “What are you doing home?”

Duobu looked around them to the rest of the group. “Welcome back, everyone,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, right.” Daiji laughed at herself and waved at everyone. “Hi.”

“I wanted to check on everything,” Baiya circled back and answered her question.

“And the Xiang just let you?”

“I wanted to see you too,” Pangu responded.

“Of course, dear, you are so sweet,” she said and moved onto him to pinch his cheeks between her fingers. But then she spotted Heidi. “Who is this? Your last disciple?”

“That’s his sister, Heidi,” Jaimas introduced.

“Well aren’t you a pretty young woman,” Daiji cooed before turning about the room and dragging out a few chairs from around the table. “Come on in, take a seat, get comfortable. We can get some food in you and, Pangu, some of the legumes are in season so I can make you a nice bean dish.”

“I will take care of dinner, sweetheart,” Duobu interrupted her mini whirlwind, “You catch up with Baiya.”

He wheeled himself further back into the kitchen while everyone took a seat. Feiman crawled into Baiya’s lap and Jaimas sat in between Kira and Raine with an eager expression. Pangu could tell that they both were hoping for epic stories like those in old Xiang tales and he worried they would have to disappoint them.

Luckily, Baiya took charge of the conversation and locked eyes with his mother. “I heard Loa was in Xiao?”

“Oh, that...right.” Daiji smiled sheepishly. “Not long after you left, Lord Phay visited us. She gave your step-father and I a hefty sum of gold to make up for the damages and asked us for our opinions on her rule. To be honest with you, until then I didn’t think much about what lord we were under or politics but your sister became very invested. She is something of an advisor to Phay, giving her the perspective of us little folk, but she’s also learning a lot from the entire experience. The last letter I received from her, she was using economics jargon which completely went over my head.”

“Is the extra money the reason for the new building?” Raine asked and gestured back behind him.

She nodded. “Yes. We thought we could expand the farm and maybe hire some help.”

“Mom has interviews next week,” Jaimas announced and kicked her feet out.

“That is great,” Pangu stated with a grin, “I am glad to hear everything is going well.”

“Since you showed up with a sick Raine, things have really taken a turn for the better,” Daiji chuckled while Raine blushed. He had a feeling that every time he saw the woman she would bring that up.

Heidi glanced up at him. “You came here because you were sick?”

It seemed they still left out some details but Daiji was more than happy to fill those gaps. She spun the whole story, from start to finish and it lasted through dinner since there were plenty of interruptions and additions from her children.

“Loa really stepped up and saved us all,” Daiji recalled the attack on the farm. She looked at Heidi when she said, “It is a shame she isn’t here. I think you two would get along great.”

It was a shame, Baiya thought. But, throughout dinner and story time, Heidi had been rather quiet and attentive so perhaps something was getting through to her.

But, as soon as he thought such a thing, she said, “I am sort of surprised by how all of you are. I was expecting Baiya’s family to be a lot different.”

“What did you expect?” Dubou asked with a smirk as he stacked the empty plates up and pushed them to the side. The younger kids helped to pass the remainder of the dishes to him.

“I do not know exactly…” Heidi tapped her finger to her lips, “Something more authoritarian, perhaps?”

“What’s that mean?” Feiman furrowed his brow and then looked up at his older brother for clarity.

“Are you being mean to this young woman, Baiya?” Daiji demanded.

“No,” Pangu answered in his place, “They have not spoken much since I take up most of her time with training and catching up with family matters. So I guess Baiya seems a bit…aloof.”

“Aloof is a good word,” Heidi agreed with a nod.

Feiman frowned at the use of such vocabulary but Jaimas chuckled as if she knew exactly what was going on. Daiji, however, gave her oldest son a very particular look.

“Baiya, will you help me with the dishes? I want to talk, just you and me.”

Pangu gave his third disciple a sympathetic smile but stayed put. There was nothing more he could do to help. Kira smirked at the prospect of the man getting yelled at by his mother for some perceived rudeness to Heidi and he was very glad to have no family in that moment.

In their absence, Feiman switched to Pangu’s lap and started to show him a cool trick he could do with his hands (in which he could bend his thumb back and touch his wrist) while Jaimas started to talk to Kira. Duobu kept Heidi’s attention but she, thankfully, did not ask him what happened to his leg as Pangu feared she might.

Rather, Duobu offered the story, completely enrapturing the last disciple.

In the kitchen nook, Baiya set the stack of dishes down onto the counter and braced for the worst as his mother set her hands on her hips. “The Xiang was not covering for you back there, was he? Because if I find out my own son has been rude to a woman you bet I am going to have a word with him.”

“I know, mom,” Baiya said, resisting the urge to grumble the words. “Pangu was telling the truth. I have not spoken to Heidi much at all.”

Daiji relaxed her shoulders and smiled. Her eyes drifted off to the side, toward the entrance to the dining room and she caught a glimpse of Heidi. “She really is pretty.”

Baiya felt his stomach churn. “Mom…”

“What? I can’t say she’s pretty?” she threw her arms up. “It is just an observation. One I am sure you have already made.”

He sighed. “We are both disciples; we have more important things to worry about.” Not to mention the fact his attraction lied elsewhere.

His mother’s lip twitched, as if she was fighting a smile and losing. “Is that some rule imposed on you or just your excuse?” Before Baiya could respond with anything other than an exasperated sigh, she carried on, “Or, is it that Pangu is overprotective of his sister? He seems the type. But, surely by now, he’s come to realize that you are a strong, reliable man and that you would take care of her.”

“Mom,” Baiya was not above begging, “Please.”

She tilted her head back, to better look at him. “Is my Baiya embarrassed? What a rare sight.” Her wily smile finally took over, showing exactly how she felt about the matter.

It was the closest Baiya had ever come to just telling her the truth. The words, ‘I like men; I like Pangu, not his sister,’ were on the tip of his tongue and he had to bite down to keep them there.

If he told her, not only would it shatter her joy in the moment but it would be a shock to her system. He did not believe she would hate him for it but he did know she would be disappointed. Depressed even. Many times he had imagined the conversation and, each time, he could perfectly construct what her face would look like.

Heavy with regret for perceived missteps in raising him, grief in knowing she would never have grandchildren from him, and, finally, worry about how the world would treat him.

There was, most likely, never going to be a point where Baiya would tell her. He would feel too guilty in destroying her hopes and her view of him. Too much would change.

That was why he had to practically bite his tongue off to keep everything at bay. Only when he was sure he had better control of his words did he let off. “Will you promise not to bring this up to Heidi…or her brother?”

Daiji grinned so hard that her eyes squinted almost out of existence. “Of course I will keep it a secret.” Then she turned serious. “But, when you are ready, of course, and not so busy with disciple business, you should take that young lady on a date. You deserve to have a little fun, right?”

Lying to his mother, no matter how many times he had done it, always gave him indigestion. “Alright.”

She reached her hand up to him, patting the side of his face. “Thank you. In the meantime, can I ask a more practical favor of you?”

Baiya could have praised Tiandi he was so happy to have the subject changed. “Yes?”

“Remember the supply town south of here we make monthly deliveries to?” When he nodded, she continued, “Well there was a sandstorm a week ago that shut the roads down. If you are already headed out I was wondering if you would be willing to drop off some sacks of grain for us.”

“I will have to ask Pangu but, if he says yes, then of course.” He did not doubt Pangu would agree. The small town was basically on the way back to Ultimos anyway, just slightly further west than their original route.

“Thank you, honey.” His mother ruffled his hair with a wide smile. “And, if you ever find some time away from training and disciple related duties maybe, for the sake of my future grandchildren, you could talk to Heidi.”

Baiya moved her hand but leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. He hated lying to his mother and he had hoped after the resolution of the situation with his old employers that he would not have to anymore. Yet, there he was. “Sure thing, mom.”

[niennandil-me-writes]

Fragments of a Cybernetic Mind: Chapter 9 - Daddy Issues

Summary Half a year has passed since the events of Christmas of 2064. The world is slowly adjusting to sentient ROMs. But Turing is distracted from their task as ROM-kind’s leader and ambassador by another obligation they carry. They want to deliver Leon Dekker’s last words to his daughter. But first, they’ll have to find her, which doesn’t prove easy. They ask their journalist friend for help, who seems less than thrilled.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 10 (final) Epilogue

cn: family problems, bigotry

Turing spends the next weeks combing through the memory data, but without any success. Any leads they find just terminate in dead ends as the data becomes eaten up by glitches, corruptions or the memories just cut off at the wrong point. What they do find in new information - mostly more insight on Sarah - doesn’t lead anywhere substantive either, not even when they cross-reference the mesh.

I asked Lexi to keep her eyes and ears open, since she is meddling with extra-legal activity as part of her job. She finds some people claiming to have contact to military androids who are willing to do dirty deeds for the right pay, but it all seems very dubious. The same results from Crow’s side.

I continue searching the mesh for mentions of Dekker and other combat androids, reading my way through accounts of violent crimes attributed to them. For some reason, it doesn’t trigger my trauma as much as even the happiest of Dekker’s memories did. 

None of this gives us any information on Dekker’s family. It’s like his entire existence has been scrubbed of the mesh, and the world at large, which seems a particularly cruel fate for him. If it weren’t for my own pride, I would consider talking to Flores again.

At least my writing is going well. My editor has been sending me notes the last weeks, and together we give the text the last polish. I’m particularly proud of the chapter describing the events in Parallax’ server room, though I still have to think of a good pseudonym for Dekker. While most of what Flores said left me bitter, I do agree with her that his full name doesn’t need to be known, especially now that we might involve his daughter. So far all I got is his name with some letters shuffled around.

It's one of the last days of summer, though the heat is not any less intense for it, burning down on the market street and making the air flimmer. That’s Neo San Francisco for you. Turing, Lexi and I fled inside the Hassy bar, where we ordered some of Ramona’s newest creations: the Iced Hassy Hot Cup.

We are surprised to see Chad and Oli here as well, who are enjoying one of the last days of their summer break before it’s back to school. Oli is having a deep conversation with Ramona about a new VR drama, while Chad leans cooly against the counter and pretends he doesn’t care, though he keeps chiming in with opinions on one particular character he seems to identify with a lot.

“Hey, no loitering!” Lexi calls over to him as a joke.

“What?” Chad yells. “What are you, a cop?”

“Chad...” Oli puts a hand on his arm. “That’s the lady who arrested us for spraying graffiti in November.”

Chad flinches back.

“Relax, I haven’t worn the badge for months now,” Lexi says, leaning back against the cushioned seat with her Hassy.

“Oh, yeah,” Chad says. “So you can’t do nuthin’ to us. We could trash the whole place, and you couldn’t stop us!” He climbs on the nearest empty table, garnering looks.

“I could,” Ramona interjects. “And I will.”

“Chad, please don’t get us banned from this place,” Oli pleads. “I like it here. And I like Ramona.”

“Fine, I’ll not trash this place,” Chad gives in. “But not because I’m scared or anything. I just like hanging out here. You don’t piss where you drink.”

“Especially because after this performance, I’m not letting you use the restroom,” Ramona says.

“Come off that table, Starfucker, and sit with us,” I call up to the boy.

“Hey, you called me it.” Chad grins and jumps off the table that starts dangerously teetering. “Oli, you haven’t called me it in ages.”

“Do you sign like that on your college applications as well?” Oli asks as he walks over to our table, rolling his eyes.

“For the art schools, yes.”

“Wait, I thought your dad was against art school?” Oli says.

“Yeah, he wants me to go to law school, so I can do the HR’s work in court,” Chad explains. “Which sounds boring as fuck.”

“I’d love to see you face off against Jess,” I say. “That would end in a cat fight.”

“The only way you should ever be in court is as a defendant,” Lexi notes.

“I’m sending out applications to art schools anyway,” Chad says. “And even if Dad won’t support me, I know Mom’s got my back.”

“Wait, I thought you weren’t in contact anymore?” Oli asks. “After the whole, uh, gene splicing thing?”

Chad looks embarrassed. “She, erm, actually reached out to me last month. So we met up. Kept it secret from Dad, he wouldn’t understand.”

Oli’s face lights up with a wide smile. “Chad, that’s amazing!”

“No big deal. We just talked,” he scoffs. “Caught up a bit. I was never really into the HR stuff anyways.”

“That’s sweet,” Ramona says. “I can’t believe your father would separate a family over some bigoted ideas about purity. That’s straight up evil.”

“I am very happy for you, Starfucker,” Turing says.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re all happy for me.” Chad blushes, brushing his hand over his face in a way that makes it look like he’s trying to punch the tears out of his eyes. “Anyways, we talked a bit about my plans for the future. And Mom said she supports my decisions, and that she’d pay for art school. Said that’s what parents are for, after all.”

There’s a loud crashing sound as this time, a table does fall over, drinks flying through the air and to the floor. Oli has to dodge out of the way.

“Damn it, I just cleaned there!” Ramona cries out. “And it’s my shift as well! The ROM’s on break.”

“We are so sorry,” Turing says. “We will help you clean up.”

“Hey, is everything okay?” Lexi asks me.

I’m staring ahead, my mind racing. Then I turn to Lexi: “Can you get us access to Fairlight’s finance accounts?”

“What?” She looks at me in confusion. “Did your drink have too much caffeine?”

“Did you figure out a way to track Fairlight?” Turing wants to know, their face a question mark.

“But some of the brightest minds in the country already looked through everything he left behind,” Lexi explains. “And they didn’t find anything. TOMCAT included. Besides, the accounts are all frozen.”

“They weren’t looking for this,” I say. “And it’s not Fairlight I am trying to find. So can you give me access or do I have to ask TOMCAT?”

“I can try to call in a few favors,” Lexi says, still confused.

“What did you find out?” Turing asks.

“It’s what Chad said,” I explain. “A good parent secures their child’s future, even if they might not be able to be there for them.”

[rewritesuccess]

Anatomy of a scene

“Lost in Translation”

I decided to check out the Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson film Lost in Translation. The film's running time, which is barely 1 hour and 41 minutes, can be considered short. I believe that connection and loneliness were the driving forces behind the movie. Bob Harris and Charlotte, the two main characters, are introduced in the opening nine minutes of the movie. Charlotte is a woman who just got married, and Bob is an actor. They develop such a strong bond with one other during the film that they are able to confide in and comfort each other while also seeing each other for who they truly are.In my opinion, the majority of the movie begins out more quickly, but it was probably due to the length of the film. I thought there were a lot of gorgeous scenes and, of course, humorous scenes in the movie. One lovely image was when Bob was riding in a taxi through Japan at the beginning. This scene was noteworthy since it gave us a glimpse of nightlife in Japan. The camera angles of the views provided the spectator with an appreciation of how beautiful Japan is. We even get to see the same emotion through Bob's visuals when the camera provides him a close-up so we could see him examining the sight. Let's talk about a humorous scene where the Japanese director was telling Bob that he needed to look and face the camera. From the viewer's perspective, the director's words seemed to cover a lot more ground than what the translator was communicating to Bob, which is why Bob responded, "that's all he said." I was confused as I watched this event unfold, just like Bob.Another funny scene that made me laugh out loud was when the director sent Bob a "guest" to his room. In this scene, communication was again a problem because the lady was trying to say "rip" my stockings but most people, including Bob, heard "lip." As he was about to do so, she fell to the floor hollering and yelling. That sequence surprised me because I wasn't expecting it, but there are countless other humorous movie moments. Each scene effectively conveyed what being "lost in translation" meant, and I thought it was wonderful how they cleverly incorporated the term into the film.

Intro clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSsNbFwePAE

Suntory time clip:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiQnH450hPM

Lip my stocking clip:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPQ6VQzuyxU

“Arrival”

From beginning to end, Arrival is an engaging film with numerous moments that are expertly shot. In the movie Arrival, a linguistics expert is tasked with attempting to converse with extraterrestrial life forms. Louise Banks, the primary character, is excellently portrayed by Amy Adams. Her acting is effective because you can feel the character's struggles throughout the entire film.I believe that arrival was intended to demonstrate how language is a crucial component of communication. As you can see, the two movies I choose both deal with communication in some way, albeit they do so in quite different ways. Being 1 hour and 56 minutes long, this movie is a little bit lengthier. The movie's pace was slow, but in the end it was able to convey the actual goals of its goal.Since it's a thriller movie, I believe it did a great job with the drama, which always involves a lot of emotion. This movie definitely took me on an emotional roller coaster at times when I've seen it before. I enjoy the opening since it gives you some idea of what will happen in terms of the main characters emotional progression.The beginning which is the scene I like was mostly violin and another low tone instrument in the rear, the music at the beginning, which resembled a solemn symphony sound arrangement, was enough to capture the mood. Another part was a wide shot of the interior of a house with the camera facing, I believe, the ocean and with it also showing low lighting to express the characters sad feeling all alone while the symphony was playing, and as this was going on we heard Louise express how memories are in her words a strange thing and how certain memories do not work as we thought. Just this, even though it is the beginning, already gives you a vibe that it will be an emotional movie.

Opening scene:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNpdyGsrL1k

LIST A(DRAMA)

“Moonlight”

-In Moonlight, a young black man discovers himself and makes relationships that help him come to terms with his sexuality and identity.

“The Piano”

-This movie is about sensuality and love. It depicts a mute woman's life in New Zealand when she travels there. It talks about the journey of herself,her husband,and their little child.

“Freaks”

-This movie is a horror film. It's about a trapeze artist who marries a performer for their money but as she goes through the process of deceiving the performer. Her actions were discovered and now the other performers who discovered her secret are planning revenge.

“Casablanca”

-In order to flee the nazis, an American café owner must make a fated decision between the women he loves and her husband.

LIST B(Comedy)

“Being John Malkeovich”

-Is a comedy film about Craig Schwartz, a puppeteer who receives a job as a filing clerk. Although there is a love triangle in this film, the subject matter is love.

“Black Klansman”

-Is about Ron Stallworth, the first black police officer to ever serve in his city. In the film, we see how he deals with being harassed and having the ability to pose as an undercover police officer to spy on the Klu Klux Klan.

“Some like it hot”

-In this 1959 movie, two musicians who witnessed a murder are fleeing from mobsters who are trying to kill them. To do this, they disguise themselves as ladies.

“Dr. Strangelove”

-In the movie Dr. Strangelove, an American general seeks to launch a nuclear assault on the Soviet Union without the president's consent. The purpose of this film is to ridicule the Cold War.

[not-poignant]

Wow I would really really love to see a dr gary just ripping into Lija when he finds out about her visit. I know it probably wouldn’t work as part of ffs itself, but would you ever think of writing a one shot or something of the scene? I feel like dr gary would have to be very calm and controlled in front of ef but actually fuming and sometimes I just wanna see people get yelled at for bad mistakes.

I mean, Dr Gary does not yell. I don't even think he really yelled at Henton. He would be very calm and composed in front of Lija. I sometimes think cold anger is way more terrifying than hot anger, and Dr Gary's anger is a cold thing.

I also don't think Lija would really respond to being yelled at. This is a woman who has had people die on her operating table, and then had people yelling and screaming at her that she let their family member die, and who has had to learn how to cope with that and the guilt associated with that (even when she did nothing wrong and is still targeted). These characters aren't teenagers, they're not in their twenties, they're professionals who need to be able to stay calm and composed in very difficult situations.

Yelling would probably mean Dr Gary wasn't that good at his job (yelling escalates agitation and fear in other people, and any clinician who's prone to yelling is not going to do that well in volatile mental health spaces for very long at all). It's nice to imagine, but it isn't what I'd ever write for him.

I don't know if I would ever write it as a oneshot, though I can definitely understand why folks would find it appealing to kind of be a 'fly on the wall' in that situation! I certainly think he's not above implying that were Efnisien to press charges, her actions could have put her own son in danger re: jeopardising the case, due to it looking like she went there to threaten Efnisien into not talking. But he'd have a conversation with Lija. He wouldn't yell at her. I think if two people saw them talking, they'd think they were just two professionals talking.

But I'm 100% certain Dr Gary will get his point across, because Lija had already realised she'd made a mistake by the time she left, lol.

[hangezoeenthusiast]

God(hcs)

c!multiple x god!reader

notes: the reader will be the god of death to make it a little bit more spicy :). c!punz’s pronouns are he/they, i’m not sure about the others, but i know theirs. also why does ranboo take away my gender? /j

word count: 1,672

warnings: arson, violence, cursing, yelling, mention of death, voices in technos part, spoilers for wilbur if you haven’t watch tommy’s lore stream, revival for wilbur, making a religion, time travel, egg, prison, stealing, anarchy, playful name calling

Sapnap

so obviously y’all would be a great match :)

you have creative mode, so when sap would ask you to give him a lighter and tnt, you would GLADLY give it

also, can we talk about him being a nether hybrid

fire squared

like fires left and right, hide your mom and your children in your house lol /j

but besides the whole arson thing, you favor him above anyone else on the server

like if he asks for diamond blocks, well here’s a whole inventory of it, also, here’s some ancient debris and some netherite

if someone asked, you would probably grant them with poison and curses, just because you can’t be “unloyal” to snapchat 

wouldn’t be lonely anymore

Dreamwastaken

this duo is less chaotic, but chaotic enough where people avoid you

he still asks you for stuff, but most of the time, you don’t give him it because he annoys you too much about giving stuff

“hey y/n/n, can i pretty please get some emerald blocks.”

“nope bitch, get it yourself.”

but sometimes, you grant him some op shit, when it’s your good day

“because i’m being nice, here’s some diamond, now, don’t ask me again you little piss baby.”

“shut your trap y/n.”

“or what homeless teletubby, what are you going to do to a god like me?”

“you hang out with technoblade to much.”

Georgenotfound

maybe the least chaotic duo

you guys keep on relaxing and relaxing until the point where you don’t do anything

he barely asks you for anything, but only when it’s really really important, like a house or build

especially when he was building his little cottagecore house, he needed your godly presence to help

“y/n, what should the roof be made of?”

“i suggest brick, it makes it more aestheticy if that makes any sense.”

also barely any drama or tea with you guys

never arguing and never betraying each other is a must

Tubbo

also another least chaotic duo

literally help him with his bee farm, he will (platonically) love you forever

gotta be close to ranboo, that’s the rule

gives him SO much stuff, he’s a precious boi 🙄

also gotta be close to tommy, but not as much unfortunately

you help him pick out things for builds, like what material clashes with another, etc

“do you think that the wool and the netherite blocks look good together y/n?”

“nah, what i suggest is the wool with the gold, it looks perfect.”

sometiems, gotta put him in check because he gets a little ego built up

you definitely yank his horn a little too hard because of your IMMENSE STRENGTH

“OW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Y/N.”

“calm down sunny, you were just getting a bit over your head a little.”

Tommyinnit

chaotic duo like sapnap

snaps at anyone who annoys you and vice versa

you give him EVERYTHING, obviously except op and creative

he tries to persuade you to do something, but dreamxd wouldn’t allow it, since he is the main boss

“come on y/n, give me op.”

“no tommy, xd will kick my ass.”

“pweaseee.”

“no.”

you would DEFINITELY help him with the Big Innit Hotel, making the whole layout and color palette.

both of you have an intense hatred for ranboo, since he “stole” tubbo away from tommy

Ranboo

least involved in everything

just stay in the tundra and drink some tea, and you’re good for all of your life

helps him get netherite all the time so your boii can get the good stuff 😬

when he mines to get diamonds, he literally prays to you

“y/n, if you’re listening, please give me a 6 vein, i desperately need it for my collection of diamond blocks.”

and THERE IT IS

more than a 6 vein actually, a 12 vein

guess he needs to pray to you more

daily tea sessions, to talk about the good stuff, and NO, and i repeat NO skipping

threatening to flick water on him check ✅

Wilbur Soot

literally you spoil him

not to be angsty, but when he died and lost his last canon life, you revived him instead of Dream

now he’s practically at your knees

like he’s thinks that he owes you, but actually that’s the opposite

he was revived because you were lonely, and wanted your best friend back :(

prays to you when he goes to bed

“hey y/n, hope you’re having a great day, (platonically) love you.”

“love you too mortal.”

sometimes, to be at the peak of godness, you shower upon wilbur as gold to symbolize blessings, like zeus did before

“omg y/n, what are you doing?”

“i’m trying to bless you, shut up bitch.”

just saying, he would make a religion about you :/

Karl Jacobs

omg don’t get me started on this

first, you wouldn’t codone him going back in time

he would definitely forget your name a lot, so that’s why you hated it

“hey karl, how are you doing?”

“i’m sorry, but do i know you?”

ANGST IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

you were definitely the one to push him towards sapnap and quackity

this is also another spoiled boi

give him the entire world while you’re at it pwease

he wants a few diamonds, nope, give him a chest full of them

Quackity

why are there so much chaotic duos in here?

literally chaos times infinity

energy to the max

literally, did you take an energy drink

grants him every wish he can randomly think off

“can i get a bucket with lava and a fish in it?”

“weird choice, but ok man.”

gotta be close to sap and karl or he isn’t your friend anymore /j

helps with las nevadas a lot, and definitely tries to rig the machines so you get money

“hey big q, i got 10,000 dollars.”

“that’s impossible... y/n, did you cheat?”

“nooo 😊”

help him preen his wings, and he goes “I LOVE YOU, MWAH MWAH.” obviously in his mind 🙄

Awesamdude

definitely helps him maintain the prison

you both love setting up red stone contraptions and pistons and all that giz

“hey sam, do you know where the redstone torches are?”

“yeah, there behind the pistons in the back.”

also you helped build the prison, since he could do that by himself

“are you sure that lava wall will work y/n, your calculations seem inaccurate.”

“i’m sure sam, this will add some more security to this goddamn server.”

nerd squared lol

BadBoyHalo

wouldn’t condone the egg

you warned him multiple times to get away from its grasp, but most of the times he’ll decline

“i won’t y/n, the egg is the future.”

he still, even after all the advancements, even after everything, he tries to ask you to join the eggpire

“come on y/n, you’ll like being with us.”

“i don’t wanna be on a stupid egg side, like let me crack the egg, i wanna eat it and turn it into a omelette.”

he doesn’t like that joke :(

but before he discovered the egg, both of you were joint at the hip

sight seeing was a must

languages being thrown around everywhere, since you were the little language muffin

Punz

steals stuff from everyone

hide your stuff, because the punzo-y/n team is unstoppable

definitely they can be really stubborn and indecisive

like one day, he will be like, “i need gold blocks.” and the next, “nevermind, i need netherite actually.”

like hon, stop switching

also anarchy buddies

burning down forests and buildings are your guys’s specialty

when you give him gold when they doesn’t ask, his heart goes brrr and his brain goes, “pog pog, they’re so cool, lets hug them.”

Technoblade

now this is the most deadly duo in the entire Dream Smp

better not piss you guys off 😐

he’s the Blood God, and you’re the God/Goddess/God being of Death

so if some occasion where you need to battle someone, like Techno’s enemies, *clears throat and murmurs Quackity*, you will obviously back your boy up :)

help him with enchanting and potions and he’s set for life

also you got have to be close to the great Philza Minecraft since him and Techno are buddy buddy

anarchy squared

helps with the voices since you have some of your own

“so what you’re saying is that i need to pay attention to them?”

“yeah, when i first learned that the voices were in my head, i tried to ignore them, but that sucked. so what i did was try to distract myself with various tasks, and that sucked.”

“so what do i do, you’re saying that i should listen to them, but how do i do that when they literally shout at me.”

“just embrace it, obviously when they do their little chant of blood for the blood god, you have to ignore them.”

“you suck at advice.”

Philza Minecraft

so since both of you resemble death, him being the Angel of Death and you being the God/Goddess/God being of Death, y’all are fucking best friends, platonic soulmates if you will

death squared

watch out, because if you piss them off, prepare to d-

gotta be close to Ranboo and Techno, and obviously others who he platonically likes

he doesn’t need to ask you for stuff, he’s the fricking Angel of Death, but he will ask you to preen his wings :D

“ow, not there y/n.”

“oh shut up grandpa, let me do it.”

“I’M NOT OLD DUMBASS.”

Dream XD

two gods at once, damn there is so much chaos

left and right, you guys are noticed by everyone, like purrrr

y’all would be in some fancy shit, to show your power

you would get jealous of him hanging out with george

“why are you jealous y/n?”

“you’re hanging out with george to much, hang out with me please :(.”

gifts are a must, even though both of you have access to creative

[just-jordie-things]

A Lover And A Fighter - Richie Tozier

word count: 3122 warnings: swearing, sight sexual harassment summary: Richie promised (y/n) that he wouldn’t get into fights anymore, but sometimes he just can’t help himself.  Especially when it comes to protecting her.

___

It was an understatement to say that Richie was protective of you.  The boy was downright insane about it.  Everyone in Derry knew not to fuck with (y/n), not unless they wanted Richie Tozier tracking them down and beating them half to death.

You’d given him a talk numerous times.  But not once did they work, it always went in one ear and out the other..

He’d beaten up three ex boyfriends, a couple guys that looked at you the wrong way, and Greta Keene.  He was proud of that amount.

But he’d promised that he would try his best not to act out on your behalf anymore.  And you made him pinky promise.  That’s a big deal.  And he didn’t want to break your trust or your promise.

However… once he walked past Henry Bowers and his dumbass friends, and heard your name being mentioned, he couldn’t stop himself from getting involved.

“What was that?” He spoke before he could think things through.

The boys turned to him, each bearing a scowl that wasn’t out of character.

“I said, (y/n’s) not fucking worth it,” Henry practically growled out.  “Now why don’t you fuck off, Tozier?”

“Your damn fucking right it’s not worth it,” Richie spat back, turning away, doing the right thing.  “I’d break your goddamn nose” He muttered under his breath.

“It’s not worth it to try and get in her pants,” Henry called out before Richie could walk far enough away.

He stopped in his tracks.

“Cause she’s such a slut anyways, it’s not a real victory to fuck-”

Richie had never whipped around so fast.  And with the punch he delivered went all common sense, and all the promises and reassurances he’d given you to prove he was going to ‘mature’ as you’d begged him to do. ___

“Hey, Richie,” You held your phone between your ear and shoulder as you painted your toes.  “This is like, my fifth message… so… call me back, I guess.  Okay, bye”

You sighed as you set the phone back on it’s holster.  Richie wasn’t the type of guy to stand you up, especially on taco tuesday.  And even if something came up, he always always, called.  But now he couldn’t even bother to return one of your calls, leaving you to assume that he was upset with you for some reason, and therefore ignoring you.

You weren’t sure what you did, and at this point, you also weren’t sure that he was going to tell you either.

When Richie didn’t want to talk to someone, he was the damn best at avoiding them.

But he’d never given you the cold shoulder.  And there was a time that you’d thought he never would.  Richie was your best friend, you trusted and confided in him more than anyone else, even the other Losers.  And in the last seven years of being his best friend, he’d never treated you this way.  In fact, he always treated you amazingly, like a princess, it was very surprising actually, the way he cared about you.

It was that care that always led him to picking fights where he shouldn’t be, though.  It started with your ex boyfriend.  He broke up with you once a ‘better, prettier’ girl showed interest (his words), and the next thing you knew, Richie was throwing him against the lockers.

When your next boyfriend straight up cheated on you, Richie took care of him too.

He broke the third one’s nose.

And then there was the Greta Keene incident… Beverly may have let it slip that Greta had been writing nasty rumors about you in the girls bathrooms.  And Richie declared that he didn’t have a problem beating up a girl if it was justified (and if that girl had man arms).  That was when you drew the line, and made Richie swear to try and control his anger.  And he pinkie promised to work on it, and that he wouldn’t get into any more fights over you.

You weren’t sure why he got so enraged over these things.  It was just drama, and you found it pointless that he tried to bring you justice, since he was so reckless about it.

It was getting late, and you knew that Richie wasn’t going to return your calls.  So you finished painting your toenails blue, and decided to spend the night in your room, reading, alone.

Even though you should have been eating a bunch of tacos and gossiping with Richie.

Just as you got situated in bed, and had turned off the overhead light in exchange for the soft glow of your lamp on the bedside table, there was a knock on the window.

When you glanced over, you could tell it was Richie by his silhouette, and you frowned slightly.

Nonetheless, you got up and unlocked the window, before sliding it open.

“Where the hell have you been?” You asked.

He could tell that you couldn’t see his face very well.

“Busy, you gonna let me in?” He grinned.

“Richie, it’s-” You glanced over your shoulder to the alarm clock on your table, before glaring back at him.  “-midnight.  Are you kidding me? Did I do something to piss you off?”

“What? (y/n/n), no-”

“Then how come you were dodging all my calls? And you’re seven hours late?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest..

Richie crawled in through the window, even though you hadn’t invited him in yet.  But he figured it was only a matter of time before you cave anyways.

Your distressed face disappeared as you caught sight of him now that he was in the light.  His left eye was bruising, and so was his right cheekbone.  Along with a split lip and a bloody nose, it was clear what had happened.

“Oh, Richie…” You mumbled, hand reaching up to cover your mouth as your eyes widened at the sight of him.  “Tell me you didn’t-”

“Look it’s not what you think-” Richie tried to protest.

“Don’t give me that shit”

He knew he fucked up, because you weren’t yelling.  Your voice was soft, and low.  You were heartbroken.

He stared down at the ground, too anxious to look at you anymore.  Not when you looked so disappointed in him.  

“You promised- you-you pinky promised me-”

“I know-! I know and I’m sorry, really, I’m really fucking sorry” He told you, desperately hoping that you’d forgive him.

You shook your head at him, and gestured for him to sit before you left the room.  Richie was the most frustratingly complicated person that you knew, and it drove you insane.  Why he couldn’t just walk away and not beat the shit out of people… you weren’t sure.  But it really hurt you that he didn’t even seem to try, and he broke his promise.

Richie was sitting on the side of your bed when you came back into the room.  He chuckled as he eyed the first aid kit in your hands, the same one that you’ve used the last four or five times you dealt with the aftermath of his episodes of rages.

“You don’t have t-”

“Yes I do” You cut him off and unpacked what you’d need.

You were upset, you were fuming, actually.  It angered you that Richie broke his promise, not even a month after making it.  That promise was important to you, because he was important to you.  And now here he was, waiting to be fixed up by you once again after he so stupidly, so recklessly got himself beaten to a pulp.

But no matter how angry you were, you remained silent.  Dabbing at the excess blood under his nose, which at least wasn’t bleeding anymore.  And when you were finished with his cheek, you moved on to rubbing cream over the bruise on his cheek.  Richie’s eyes fell shut as he sighed in relief at the feeling of the cool lotion, and your gentle fingers.

He knew your silence wasn’t a good thing.  In fact, it was the worst thing.  It meant he messed up beyond redemption.  And he’d never fucked up that bad before.  Sure, he’d pissed you off and frustrated you on the daily, but that was just the hallmark of his friendship, and it was never anything serious.  Just when he dragged you out in the middle of the night for slushies, or got you in trouble in class because he was running his mouth.  He’d never made you this genuinely upset before.

“(y/n)-”

“Save it” You muttered before he could even start with the apologies.

That was another hallmark of his friendship.  You knew what came next.  The apologies, the excuses, the begging for your forgiveness, followed by a playful ‘you know you love me, you need me’ and puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t refuse.  Except tonight, you might just be able to.

He took you by surprise when he didn’t protest, and snapped his mouth shut.  Your eyes met his for a moment, before you started applying a smaller amount of lotion on the bruise surrounding his eye.  It was going to look a lot worse in the morning, but this would help with the pain now.

You hated that your heart ached for him right now.  You hated that you wanted to cry and hold him and make him feel better.  Because you were so fucking mad-

“I don’t understand,” The words suddenly spilled out of your mouth, as if your mind just couldn’t take them swimming around in your head anymore.  “I just- I- I don’t fucking get it”

He nodded, ducking his head down, only for you to lift it back up by his chin and continue with the lotion.

“I care about you, dumbass, and all I asked, which I thought was simple, all I asked was for you to stop with the fighting-”

“I know” He mumbled back.

You stared at him skeptically, wondering if he really did know, or if he’d show up again in a few weeks with the same battered face and guilty look in his eyes.  Richie didn’t look back at you.  He couldn’t.

“Who?” You asked, trying to soften your voice so he wouldn’t whither away from you like he was doing right now.

“You’re not gonna like it” Richie answered, fingers pinching at your bedsheets in an attempt to distract himself.  From the pain that burned across his whole face, or from the intensity in your eyes, he wasn’t sure, but he needed the distraction.

He hadn’t had a smoke in months, but it sounded pretty damn good right now.

“Well, newsflash, I don’t like any of this,” You told him.  “But I think I deserve to at least know what happened”

Of course you do, Richie hung his head in his hands.  You deserve so, so much better.

You watched as he rubbed his palms over his eyes, and it took everything in your power not to take his hands and hold them in yours, to tell him it was okay and you forgave him.

“Bowers”

He muttered the single word without even looking at you.  But he didn’t have to look at you to know exactly what you looked like in that moment.  You probably had a dropped jaw and furrowed brows.  Disappointment, disgust, anger, all displayed in one heartbreaking look.

“Richie…” You murmured without meaning to.  “Why? Why would you-”

“I had to, okay?” He shot up suddenly.  “I know that you hate it, and as soon as I swung I- I knew I fucked up, but I had to”

You wanted to argue it, argue that there’s always another option, that he can always walk away.  But you bit your tongue.  Something about the way he spoke told you that there was more to this than his stupidity.

“I’m sorry, (y/n/n), I am.  But I… I don’t regret it”

Your heart sunk all the way down to your stomach.  Richie had such a toll on your emotions and he didn’t even know it.

“Tell me what happened” You said quietly, and shifted closer to him.

You wanted him to know he had your undivided attention, and that he should have the chance to at least explain what happened.  You pulled your leg up to rest on the mattress, and turned your body to face him.

Richie looked at you before looking back down at his hand, which was now fisted in your blankets.

“Richie,” You hummed, brows furrowing as you saw how reluctant he was to opening up.  “Tell me” The words were so soft, it was almost inaudible.

You wondered what Henry could have done that Richie didn’t want to tell you about.  He must have really outdone himself.

“He was just talking shit-”

“Richie,” You cut off his bullshit before he could even start.  “Come on, the truth”  

“It’s not-”

“I deserve to know, Tozier! Whatever it is, I don’t care, okay? Just tell me-”

“He said you weren’t worth sleeping with!”

Just like that, you’d gotten him to snap.

And you shut up instantly, shocked by the outburst.  His words processed slowly in your head.

“He said it wasn’t worth trying because you’re- because you’re a slut, and it wasn’t fucking true!” Richie continued to yell.  Not at you, he just couldn’t contain his own anger anymore.

And you thought you were pissed.

“Motherfucker had your name in his nasty fucking mouth and he was telling his buddies fucking lies and I couldn’t- fuck I couldn’t walk away.  I should’ve fucking killed him”

You were staring at him, speechless.  You should’ve known it was about you, Richie was always so fiercely protective of you.  And Henry’s wouldn’t be the first nose that he’d broken protecting you.  But this wasn’t like before.  He’d beaten on your ex boyfriends after they broke your heart.  Henry hadn’t said or done anything to you, he was just doing what boys do.  (Make shit up because they think it makes them impressive when really they’re even shittier than they look)

“I didn’t mean to break your promise,” Richie huffed.  His face was slightly flushed after his mini tantrum.  His hands grabbed both of yours, holding them close to him.  “I’m so sorry I put you through this again”

You were still silent, but he knew this wasn’t a bad silence.  You were still processing, still trying to figure out how to forgive him while making sure this was the last time he crawls through your window looking like this.

“I hope you know that it came from a place of- of caring about you,” He added.  “Caring about you too much, I guess” He mumbled as an afterthought.

Your stupid lovesick heart skipped a beat at the sweet words.  Richie wasn’t one for words, at all, but he somehow managed to say the most loving things without even realizing it.

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again, that much is clear.  And if Bowers says one more goddamn thing about your ass I’ll fucking string him up- I will- but I can promise I’ll try, okay? I will, I’ll really try”

He squeezed your hands a little bit, hoping you believed him, hoping you trusted him.

Your eyes flickered between his for a moment, and you could see in them that he was being sincere, and that he was broken up over hurting you.

“You…” He started to speak, but trailed off unsurely.  “You deserve better” He finished.

His eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, before he turned away.

You shake your head, before you let go of one of his hands, and took his chin between your thumb and index finger, turning him to look back at you.

“(y/n/n)-”

You cut him off when you leaned in and gently kissed him, trying to be mindful of his split lip.

Richie’s eyes remained focused on your closed ones, too stunned to close them, or really kiss her back.

He wanted to kick himself when you pulled away.  He managed to miss his fucking chance because he was too slow to do anything about it.

Your eyes fluttered open in such a beautiful way Richie swore you were holding his heart in your perfect little hands.

His brows were furrowed like you’d confused him, and you absolutely had.  He hadn’t expected you to kiss him.

“Why’d you do that?” He asked breathlessly, and your cheeks burned pink.

Your shoulders raised a bit in a shrug, and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling too much.

“I just… wanted to” You whispered.

A smile twitched on the corner of Richie’s lips before his hand cupped your cheek, and he pulled you in again, so he could kiss you right this time.

Your lips were just as soft, if not softer, than he’d imagined they’d be.  And he’d imagined countless times what they’d feel like.  Daydreaming in class, before he fell asleep, and being right by your side for the last seven years.

Kissing you was bliss.

He did it again, taking your face in both of his hands and pulling you impossibly closer.  He could feel your lips smiling against his own, and once again, his heart was beating out of his chest trying to get to yours.

“I’m in love with you, (y/n/n)” He murmured when you parted, and you laughed softly.

“That makes sense,” You replied, reaching a hand up to play with the curls on the back of his neck.  “And… I love you too”

Richie gave you a sunshine smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I’m still upset, by the way,” You told him, still playing with the curls.  “But only cause I’m tired of seeing you covered in bruises, okay?”

He nodded, and you leaned your cheek further against the palm of his hand.

“I promise to try” He said, and then raised his pinky.

You looked from his hand and then back to him, a slight glare in your eyes.

“Come on, just do it,” He urged, you rolled your eyes, but he was persistent.  “Just link fuckin’ pinkies with me”

With a giggle you hooked your pinky with his, and held it for a moment.

“You want to go get tacos now?” He asked, and you grinned, nodding your head.

“You read my mind” You answered, and followed him back out the window.

It dawned on you that Richie was both your lover and your fighter.  And he held those titles proudly.

As he took your hand and walked alongside you down the street, he decided there were no other title he’d want to be labeled, besides yours. ___

taglist: @thegr8kush​

xoxo ~ jordie

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 26 - The Higher Realm

The Higher realm continues. So close to the end!

Master post linked here

Enjoy!

______________________________

Time passed, but it was difficult to tell how much. Time worked so differently in the different realms. How long did we really spend trying to save one lower realm? Minutes? Decades? It felt like no time and forever. Adonis and I traveled to lower realm after lower realm, fixing the stories, stabilizing the world before heading back to the higher realm.

Some lower realms were easy, if a bit annoying, such as the high school dramas. In those I would often play the “average” new girl at a school. I would meet new people, and was supposed to go on to have romance, betrayals and coming of age realizations. I quickly realized that befriending all my supposed romantic leads instead of dating them, reconciling with my rivals instead of humiliating them, and pushing towards success all together was a much more satisfying strategy. Fortunately, graduating valedictorian with a happy and psychologically healthy group of teenagers often stabilized worlds that had been torn apart by half-baked character design or infighting between rivals.

I took calculus so many times that I could recite lessons in my sleep, but at least the worlds were saved. Despite our success, however, Adonis was often frustrated. He had his own vision of how we were to save these realms. His plans almost always involved us dating, making the high school romance “successful”.

I refused.

He had been a lot more likable since our first meeting, and I was able to consider him a close friend and ally… but I felt uncomfortable at the idea of even pretending to have a romantic relationship. It was definitely a more difficult route to stabilize the world without a romance, but I chose it every time. Adonis pouted and complained, but couldn’t argue with success, and I was successful.

Some lower realms were more difficult. In particular, zombie apocalypse stories were my least favorites. The worlds often couldn’t be stabilized until a cure was found or humanity’s survival was assured. This meant that Adonis and I sometimes spent decades within these realms, working to build armies, or teams of scientists. There was hardly ever any running water, which meant showering was few and far between.

My unwashed self was made even filthier by my absolute failure at using anything with range. Bow and arrow, guns… anything that would keep me out of the gore, I couldn’t hit even the largest of monsters. Fortunately I picked up a sword with relative ease, which allowed me to fight… but this also meant I got covered in rotten blood and guts.

I hated zombie worlds the most.

Realm after realm. We worked constantly, spending very little time in between in the higher realms. Adonis would often try to use those moments to push his ideas regarding fate and the higher realm’s story, but as soon as I rejected him, which I did every time, he would simply scowl and pull us into the next lower realm to save.

It was getting old.

“How many lower realms are there?” I asked one evening as we recovered from our latest mission, rubbing my sore shoulder where I had taken a blow in the last sci-fi alien battle. The wounds disappeared with the realm traveling, but my mind still could feel the wound, projecting the pain long after I had left that form behind.

Adonis leaned back in his chair, his grin a little too bitter to be a natural expression. “How many unfinished stories are there? Infinite, Bel. There are infinite lower realms. We will never be able to save them all. Not like this.”

“It’s not like there’s a lot of options.”

“There are options. You just don’t want to hear them.”

“What, this fate you keep talking about?” I sighed, closing my eyes, tired. “ It sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It’s not.” His voice was quiet, but the intensity shown through all the same. “It’s our duty. Everyone’s survival depends on it.”

“But what you’re saying is: we follow along some sort of script…”

“Fate.”

“…fate… here, in the higher realm. And that is somehow supposed to fix the lower realms?”

He chuckled. “You’re oversimplifying it, but pretty much. We follow our fate, and the heroes of the lower realms will find their happiness tied to ours.”

“What if they don’t want that ending? What if they don’t want that happiness?”

“Of course they do! Everyone wants a happily ever after with their destined one.” He snapped. My eyes flickered open to study his enraged expression.

“I don’t.”

“You’re selfish!”

I shrugged. “Am I? If you’re right, we submit to fate here, everyone in the lower realms gets an automatic happy ending… but most of those worlds aren’t breaking because they don’t have a happy ending. They need a wider world, different ideas… and what about the side characters, even the villains… what about their happiness?”

“They don’t matter.”

“Why not?” I raised an eyebrow. “Just because they’re the villains?”

“They’re evil.” He stood up, trying to tower over me. An intimidation tactic, one that might have worked before we’d spent countless years fighting in life-or-death battles together.

“Have you met the heroes and heroines of some of these realms?” I laughed. “They’re not much better. I don’t think these roles are as clear as you would like them to be. And I don’t think you and I having a happy ending together, and forcing a simplistic ‘and they lived happily ever after’ on all the lower realms will actually fix them. In fact…” I stood up, and he stepped back slightly at the danger in my tone. “I bet we would break them all the more. Are you really so foolish as to think that saving a universe of worlds would be so simple?”

“…” Adonis was gritting his teeth, his hands clenched so tightly the knuckles were white. But I didn’t back down. Didn’t step back. I knew he wouldn’t hit me. He wouldn’t dare step out of the role he imagined himself to be in. Wouldn’t dare cross a line that might ruin his chances at the happy ending he seemed to crave so desperately.

“…” The silence stretched on between us. We were at an impasse. He wanted to follow fate. He wanted clearly defined roles and rules to follow. And I?

I wanted freedom.

*** Soul transfer 11% complete. ***

It’s been forever since I last saw those words… I thought it had disappeared. For some reason, I felt a deep sense of relief at the glowing blue sentence. Something within me had frozen during these many trips to the lower realms, but finally it was growing again.

“The next world is waiting.” Adonis spoke up, his tone flat. I noticed an odd shifting of his gaze, a reluctance to meet my own, and felt a sense of unease.

I won’t like this next world. I cracked my knuckles and gave him a thumbs up. Well, no sense running from a challenge.

We left.

______________________________

I woke up in a luxurious canopy bed. Staring up at the fabric , I raised my arms and have a cheer.

“YES! NOT A ZOMBIE WORLD!”

On the downside, the setting appeared to be a more primitive era, medieval at best, which meant no running water, but at least I appeared to be noble or wealthy.

At least if I suffer, I’ll be clean while I do it!

“Princess?” A young woman dressed as a servant entered the room, seeming very confused. “Are you all right? I heard you yelling.”

I smiled brightly at her. “No worries. It was just a nightmare.”

She visibly relaxed. “Even so, you seem in a much better mood, if I may say so.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you haven’t broken a single thing this morning.” She, unfortunately did not seem to be kidding. “I’m so glad you’ve accepted your father’s decision.

I didn’t have my character’s memories yet. I needed to accept the mission first. In the meantime, acting too out of character could destabilize an already poorly functional world.

“I’m still… thinking it over.” I spoke up cautiously.

“It’s not so bad, your highness.” She smiled at me. “Most young girls feel a little uneasy when their father arranges their husband. But you’ll be happy. I just know it.”

Arranged marriage?

“After all, Prince Harold is reported to be a true gentleman, a might warrior, and a handsome young man!” She sighed dreamily. “Any woman would be thrilled for a chance to be his bride.”

“I’m. Sure.” I spoke through gritted teeth, the satin sheets crumpling in my grip. Adonis, when I find you, I’m going to make you regret every life decision you’ve ever made… and the ones you’ve only considered making. What kind of lower realm did you land us in? As I plotted my revenge, the mission screen popped up.

**** NEW WORLD: A Divided Kingdom****

This is a romance fantasy story featuring a prince and a princess from different kingdoms, putting aside their differences to save the world.

“I already don’t like this.” I muttered.

The Princess Alaire of the Yenlar Kingdom was a clever, independent woman, horrified at the idea of an arranged marriage. Prince Harold of the Bestion Kingdom felt differently. He fell in love at first sight and vowed to woo the young maiden. The couple was different in almost every way, and seemed destined to bicker and fight.

“Then how about we don’t get married?”

But fate had other plans…

“Of course it did!”

A terrifying beast threatened to destroy both their kingdoms, and to survive, the political marriage had to go forward. Uniting the kingdoms, and therefore their armed forces, was the only way to save their people.

However, despite the happy ending, the first book was not well received by readers and the trilogy was abandoned due to poor sales. The reason given was that the romance was “forced” and unbelievable.

Your mission is to bring a satisfying end to the story, while making ensuring the survival of both kingdoms.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION? ****

YES? NO?

“Quick question.” I spoke quietly to the glowing words in front of me. “Do I have to marry the prince to ensure an ending?”

The kingdoms will not unite without the political marriage.

“That wasn’t what I asked. I asked if I HAVE to marry the prince. What if I can save both kingdoms without a political marriage?”

The stability of the world is all that matters.

“No lecture on the necessity of fate?”

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION? ****

YES? NO?

I grinned. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

As the words faded away, I jumped out of bed. My head spun slightly as I accepted the memories from the poor princess of the original story.

She had not been happy.

She had dreams, ambitions. The Kingdom of Yenlar allowed for women to inherit the throne, and as the firstborn she was ready to take over from her father, to rule her nation. She had spent her entire life preparing. Studying law, economics, warfare…

And all of it had meant nothing in the end.

She had begged for a political treaty. One that did not involve marriage. The Kingdom of Bestion had refused to even discuss it. They stated that there was too much distrust between the kingdoms to move forward without some sort of permanent assurance. Even the threat of annihilation from the ancient beast of legend wasn’t enough to have them reconsider. That wasn’t the full story, though.

Later she discovered that Prince Harold had seen her at a party. He had supposedly fallen in love with her at first sight, and became determined to marry her. He had learned of her plans to marry a minor noble, one who would support her position on the throne without causing an imbalance of power within the nobility. He had no chance, as far as she was concerned. The threatened destruction of their people was just the perfect opportunity to force the matter.

She had lost all power. Becoming a figurehead, a beautiful statue beside the true king, Harold. He ruled over both nations with an iron fist, treating her own people more harshly, much to the approval of his staff. She slowly became bitter and deranged, watching the destruction of the people and the nation she loved so dearly.

Beyond the end of the first book, when the realm’s story ended, she had attempted to poison him and failed. Harold had been disappointed, but felt that she still had use as a figurehead. They faked a stroke, and kept her mute and weak with poisons. A lovely doll. A perfect figurehead.

…is this a fantasy or a horror? Sheesh, no wonder the trilogy wasn’t going to sell. I shuddered, still standing awkwardly next to the beautiful bed that had belonged to a lovely young woman.

I will change this story. I spoke silently to the memories, feeling a sense of relief that didn’t belong to me as I did so.

First, let’s try to reason with Adonis. He and I had worked together in multiple realms, side by side. We were friends. We may not see eye to eye when it came to our approach towards fate and the lower realms, but he had never forced me to do something I didn’t want. He had always respected me and backed off when I said no, even if it made him unhappy.

Hopefully this time will be the same. I thought uneasily. Hopefully he will listen.

______________________________

“No.” His tone was gleeful, but his face was calm, towing with a silver goblet rather than meeting my gaze.

“Are you joking?” I leaned forward, keeping a gentle smile on my face to fool the guards and our fathers who sat on the other end of the enormous dining table.

“I’m perfectly serious, Princess Alaire. Our kingdoms face certain doom at the hands of the ancient beast. The only way to survive is to work together. We can only work together if we trust each other. The only way the Kingdom of Bestion will trust the Kingdom of Yenlar is with a marriage alliance. It’s out of my hands.”

I reached forward and took the cup from his hands, forcing him to look at me. “Why are you forcing this, Adonis? You know it didn’t work out so well for the originals.”

“Careful Princess.” His eyes glanced over at the nearby guards. “You don’t want anything to destabilize the situation further, now do you? Better to act as a proper princess should.”

“Answer the question. This plan already failed. Why do you think it will work?”

“Simple.” He leaned forward and plucked the goblet back from my hands. “We’re different. You may not want to admit it, but we have spent lifetimes at each other’s side. Growing up, going to school, facing enemies, fighting together… we could make this work. It would be a wonderful ending.”

“You know what happened to Alaire after the first book.”

“I would never do that to you.”

“But you are.” I growled, wishing I could punch him. “You are trying to make me a beautiful figurehead, just like Harold did to Alaira.”

“We would rule side by side.”

“What use is that promise, if you are already ignoring my wishes and forcing me to do this in the first place?”

He shook his head. “You have to trust me. This is the only way we can defeat the monster, and stabilize this realm. We’ll save this world. Together.” He smiled. “It’s our fate.”

I threw a plate at him, forcing him to fling himself on the floor to avoid injury. Walking out, I ignored my father’s shouts of rage. Picking up a bag I had packed ahead of time, just in case, I changed into some light armor, grabbed a sword, and headed out into the forest.

If I couldn’t win by a political alliance, I was going to find another way to save the world.

I was going monster hunting.

I searched Princess Alaira’s memories of the legends and stories, going out in a northern direction towards the area known as Death Valley.

As I marched onward, my thoughts wandered over the time I had spent since I had woken up in the Higher Realm. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed with Adonis. He might truly think that he was saving the world by insisting on going through with the marriage, but his lack of willingness to even consider other options was frustrating. He was the only person consistently by my side through every one of these worlds, someone I considered a friend, and being unable to rely on him served to make me feel all the lonelier.

My mind briefly touched on the assassin of the first realm, Liam. I had thought with his comments and actions that he had known about my mission… that he might be from the higher realm too. But no matter how much I looked for him, no matter how much I hoped to see him again, I never did.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was someone from the lower realm, and I’ll never have the chance to see him, to thank him.

I felt a sense of despair. How long can I keep doing this? Is this why Adonis preaches following our fate so much? Is he as tired of traveling, tired of the missions and the different lives? Is he just hoping to end all this?

I sighed, keeping moving. I’m not that tired, not tired enough to sacrifice my freedom. Not yet, anyways.

It took several days of traveling. Fortunately from my years of experience in zombie worlds, I was well prepared to survival in the wilderness. At least here the rivers were clean, allowing me to bathe occasionally. Finally I was at the entrance of the valley, staring up at the pillars on either side.

There were ominous words carved deeply into the stone.

Only death lies ahead.

I stared at the words silently for a few moments, and then shrugged.

“Still better than marrying Adonis.”

I moved forward.

______________________________

The valley was dark, a deep fog settled in permanently, apparently unaffected by the weather beyond its borders. Dark twisted purple trees rose all around me, their roots tearing through the earth desperate searching for nutrients. The valley was quiet, suffocating in an unsettling silence. My presence there felt like an intrusion, my instincts screaming at me to run away, to escape.

I kept moving.

There were no other signs of life. But I knew at least one other being lived here, the reason why nothing else dared to.

The Ancient beast.

There were no descriptions of it in the legends. Just that it was deadly, enough to take on entire armies. And that it was terrifying.

I feel like I should have seen something by now, if it was so large. I sighed, sitting on one of the trees, staring up at the mountain ahead of me. Shouldn’t it be easier to find an enormous beast that terrified an entire world?

…

Wait.

I looked up, struggling to see the top of the mountain in front of me.

I’m in a valley…

The mountain moved up and down, with regular motions.

There shouldn’t be a mountain here.

It was breathing.

I drew my sword, inwardly despairing. I had underestimated the sheer scale of the monster. I had thought it would be the size of a house, an elephant. Instead it towered stories above me, unimaginably large.

I was doomed.

There was a rumble as the beast in front of me shifted. I couldn’t tell the shape, just an impression of scales and spikes. Slowly, something lowered down in front of me, stretching forward in all directions, filling my vision. I saw teeth larger than my own body, the white of them contrasting with the dark fog around us. As I prepared myself for my death, an eye opened to stare at me.

It was a beautiful dark blue.

“…”

Suddenly, I felt relief. It was incomprehensible. I was standing in front of an ancient beast, enormous and terrifying, and instead of fear and dread… I felt safe.

I raised a hand, almost despite myself. “Hello there.”

The eye blinked. I comforted myself that it hadn’t eaten me yet.

“I think you look awesome. I’m Princess Alaira from the nearby kingdom of Yenlar. I actually came here to kill you, to protect my people… but now I realize that you could crush me like an ant, and that was a bad plan.”

The eye blinked twice. It seemed more confused than anything.

“I have a much better plan, if you would be willing to listen to me.” I let out a laugh, slightly startled at how… villainous it sounded.

*** Soul transfer 20% complete. ***

The creature let out a sound like thunder. I felt that it was laughing too.

______________________________

The wedding was this morning.

I was surprised as I drew near to see the party going. You would think that after I disappeared, they might have canceled or delayed it. I assumed that Adonis had felt sure that I would agree with him in the end. That I wouldn’t be able to let the world end just because I didn’t want to marry him.

Well too bad, buddy. This princess has a different plan in mind!

I could see him, standing on the elevated stage before two thrones, waiting. I couldn’t see his expression from this distance, but I imagine he was barely hiding his worry. Alaire’s father and Harold’s father were also waiting on the platform, their postures betraying their impatience.

“Let’s get this party started!” I yelled.

ROOOOOOOAAAAAAR!

The ancient beast let out a triumphant roar as he flew closer and lowered his head, letting me jump down onto the platform before landing behind me, a large, threatening mountain of a creature.

“Alaire?” The king called out, confused. “What are you doing?”

“Hello, Father.” I also nodded to Adonis, who stared back.

“What is this?”

“Your daughter is a witch!” The King of Bestion shouted, drawing his ceremonial sword. “She betrayed us!”

“Hold on, father.” Adonis held out his hand, stopping his attack. “I’m sure it’s not what it looks like.”

I grinned.

“Nope. It’s exactly what it looks like. I’ve teamed up with the Ancient being. We’re friends now.” I gestured at the monster high above us, who let out a grim chuckle, shaking the ground. “So now I make the rules, got it?”

“…”

“I’ll take everyone’s stunned silence as happy agreement! Now, first rule: Wedding canceled.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You can’t do this!”

The three other royals on stage shouted simultaneously. I simply pointed again at the enormous creature.

“I can do whatever I want. The big scary monster behind me says so. Next, the kingdom of Bestion will surrender to me, as will the kingdom of Yenlar.”

“You want to rule the world?” Adonis’s gaze was… disappointed. I grinned shamelessly. “Nope. But here’s the thing: Our kingdoms face certain doom at the hands of the ancient beast. The only way to survive is to convince the monster not to kill us. The monster only trusts me. So I have to rule both kingdoms.” I shrugged. “It’s out of my hands.”

I threw his words from earlier back at him, and felt satisfied as he winced in recognition.

“We… surrender.” His words were quiet, defeated.

“You unruly child!” My father tried to shout, but a roar from the monster above us silenced him. He quickly surrendered too. I accepted both surrenders, quickly organizing the meetings to bring our governments together under one rule. Fortunately, the princess’s years of study served me well, guiding me smoothly through the process.

______________________________

I had one more confrontation with Adonis, the night before the coronation. He was escorted to my rooms by guards, saying he had a request. I hesitated briefly, but allowed him in, waving the guards behind the door so we could speak freely.

“What was that?” He shouted as soon as they had left.

I stayed sitting, forcing myself to be calm. “I fixed the story.”

“You ruined everything! Even if it stabilizes this world, it will ruin it in the long run.”

“Says you.”

“Trust me.” He threw up his hands as he paced back and forth. “Everything will go a lot smoother if you STOP CHANGING THE STORY.”

“I thought that was why we were here, though?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair and cleaning my nails with a blade. “To fix the lower realms, to save these worlds? That requires change, right?”

He paused in his movements, glaring at me. “Stop acting stupid. These worlds are broken because they didn’t follow the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

“I don’t want to though.” I shuddered. “No offense, but if the story is going to require us to have a romantic relationship, I’m finding an alternate solution.”

“That’s what the story requires, you have your role to play. You know the consequences of not playing the right part.”

I sighed. “No, there’s always different paths to take. You’re a good friend, and I’m glad to have you by my side, but that’s different than love.”

“…”

“You clearly don’t love me either, so why are you making such a fuss about this? As long as we complete what we came here to do, that’s all that matters, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

Adonis stepped closer to me, his atmosphere slightly threatening. “Why are you so different from what you are supposed to be?”

“What are you…?”

“Why can’t you just accept.”

His hand grabbed my wrist, the grip painful.

“your.”

He pulled me closer until our faces were inches apart. His bright blue eyes were blazing with anger as they stared into my own.

“fate.”

Letting me go, he walked away, putting some distance between us, before turning back to face me.

“This lower realm is stabilized. We should return.” His smile was cold. “The next mission is a little different from our previous ones. We’ll talk about it later.”

“…”

“And next time…?” He laughed, a bitter sound. “You’ll play your part whether you want to or not.”

THUD.

The blade in my hand threw through the air, stabbing into the wall inches from his face. I smiled cheerfully as he looked back at me, shocked.

“Try touching me again, and I’ll cut off something you’ll miss. We’ll discuss missions and roles again in the higher realm, but for now?” I rang a bell and guards came in, escorting him out. “I have a coronation to plan.”

______________________________

My coronation was held outside so that the Ancient beast could stand behind me. It seemed cheerful, letting out victorious roars and swaying from side to side. The people cheered as well, seeming a lot happier than I expected them to be. I guess they’re relieved that they won’t be eaten by the giant monster? I wondered idly how I was going to incorporate the creature into the day to day life of a monarch. For an odd reason I had very little doubt that the monster would stick around.

However, all my plans came to nothing. As the crown was placed on my head, bright blue words formed in the air in front of me:

100% complete.

**** You have finished the mission! ****

It was time to go.

At little sad, I looked up at the ancient monster above me. “Thank you, friend for your help. I wish I could stay with you longer.”

A mournful cry echoed through the world. It seemed to understand that I was leaving. Before I could say anything more to reassure it, the world around me shimmered and disappeared.

Only to reveal a furious Adonis standing in front of me.

“Happy now, Your Majesty?” He sneered.

“Oof, someone’s still a little angry that I used an ancient monster conquer the world. Believe it or not, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. But you know why I did what I did. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”

I walked away, feeling his glare on my back long after I was out of sight.

______________________________

When I woke up, I realized that I couldn't move.

I panicked, struggling to move my arms and legs, only managing to turn my head slightly. Enough to see Adonis’s smug expression as he sat by my bed.

“It’s time for our story to progress, Bel.” His smile was strange, twisted. I couldn’t talk back, I shook my head slightly side to side.

“I’m the hero, you are the heroine. If the relationship between us can’t be advanced by working together, than it must be forged in adversity." He reached down and picked me up, carrying me out of the small cottage I had arranged for myself and into the castle courtyard. Whatever drug he had injected me with was slowly wearing off, and I struggled in his arms, finally able to shout.

“Put me down!”

To my surprise he did, and although I struggled to stay upright, I kept my balance and glared at him.

“What are you planning?”

He sighed quietly. “I’m tired of always being the one to compromise. It’s time for you to make a sacrifice, Bel. I’ve avoided this so far, worried that progressing our story this way would kill you, but it seems that it is our fate that we take this risk. It’s… unfortunate. I do very much hope you don’t die.” He paused, trying to smile at me. “Don’t worry. It’s only temporary. I’ll come and rescue you soon.”

“A sacrifice?” I felt cold, even as I stood in the warm afternoon sun. My thoughts were slow to form, possibly a side effect of the medication. “Why?”

He shrugged. “There’s an order to everything. Rules. Law. They are all that stand between us and pure chaos. No one can ignore them. Not you. Not even me.”

“Then sacrifice yourself, asshole! Why send me?”

He shrugged. “It’s your role to play, not mine. Your fate.”

“Screw fate! I don’t care if you say it’s temporary or not! Friends don’t sacrifice friends!” I was furious, still weak and feeling helpless.

His hand reached out and brushed my cheek, the touch freezing my skin. I wanted to move away but I could still barely move, only managing to glare at him. “Don’t look at me with those eyes. It’s not my fault. If you want to blame anyone, blame the story.”

“Ad…”

“Sorry, you must accept your fate.” I felt a pinch in my arm, the stick of a needle as he injected something into the muscle. Immediately darkness overwhelmed me.

“We all do.”

Everything faded into darkness.

______________________________

When I woke up, I was in a strange world, surrounded by forest. I lay on my back, still feeling weak, fury coursing through my veins.

Adonis and I had worked well together, despite arguing multiple times in the past. But now… any goodwill I had towards him was gone. He had betrayed me. Knocked me out and sent me to somewhere dangerous, somewhere I could be killed, just to follow his precious fate. To get the story he wanted.

“Are you lost?

I looked over at the source of the voice. It was a tall young man with dark hair, wearing grey, non-descript clothing. He kneeled down next to me, and I found myself staring into dark blue eyes.

“Seems a good description for my current situation.” I smiled despite the dizziness. “Nice to meet you, Stranger.”

He grinned, reaching out a hand to help me up. “Call me Liam.”

Liam? Could he be…?

“…Nice to meet you, Liam.” I laughed. “Or should I say: nice to see you again?”

*** Soul transfer 25% complete. ***

[spookysmujer]

Maraschino pt.2, O. Diaz

Summary: After the rejection from Oscar, things seems to take you on a roller coaster ride. 

warnings: angst, f e e l s, theTEAbeenSPILLED ☕️ daddy issues

word count: 3.5K

a/n: Here is the highly requested part 2 of Maraschino! I had fun writing this though if it is trash it’s because I wanted to hurry and get it out for y’all since I been getting msgs. heh. But Ray? Whew chile, the ghetto! Part 3? Please enjoy and don’t forget: follow the blog, heart/comment/reblog the content as well as turn on the notifs! (Y/S/N: your sister’s name)

(gif belongs to @thesewickedhands​ ✨)

 “Have a wonderful day!”

God, why is the person yelling? You smile weakly and squeeze your eyes nearly shut as the sun is blazing down on you while you say your thanks and exit the uber. The throbbing of your head and the loud lawnmower from one of your neighbors has you internally cursing.

How did you end up like this? Granted this was the plan last night to go out and have a good time, you certainly did not expect to be doing such a thing. You never let yourself get to this point before. But you also never got denied like you did with Spooky last night. A shiver goes through your body as you think of him. You won’t let him infiltrate your mind no more.

“Y/N!” Your sister’s voice sounds frantically as you round the corner of the house.

Well there goes your plan to sneak in through your window to pretend you were in your room all along. She wraps your arms around you, gluing herself to your body causing you to stumble back a bit. “You are a dead woman walking!” She whispers to you as you arch an eyebrow at her. 

As confused as you were, José appears from around the corner taking long strides towards you. His face sports no emotion of missing you but a lot of anger. It causes you to automatically back up the closer his approaches you. Your sister has since removed herself from you as your brother is now in your face.

You blink as you peer up at him, “Where the fuck have you been, hermana? You know how much shit you are in, hm? I get a call from Y/S/N saying you aren’t home. I assure her you would be and when she calls me at 6 in the morning telling me that you still aren’t in? You left a note?”

“José! Calmate, I went out with a friend. And I spent the night. What’s the big deal about that?” You briefly explain yourself. He laughs for a moment before grabbing you by your upper arm and pulling you towards your sister. Now it’s her turn to start backing up, “Ven aqui, her! That’s the big deal. When I ask you to be the sister you need to be, I don’t mean when you feel like it. You know the Santos have been getting into heavy shit lately. I need you here when I’m not!” 

The tension is thick as you pull your arm from his hold and push him, “But when you wanna go and do whatever it’s okay? When you wanna hitch a ride with Spooky to Sin City with dirty ass hynas last week, it’s all good. Business trip, huh? Don’t come for me when you are far from perfect!” 

The two of you are both very stubborn with your brother usually being calm and collected while you’re more expressive with your feelings. Family is important to him especially considering it’s just the three of you. Jose scoffs as you stomp away from him and your now crying sister. 

Oscar suddenly appears in front of you as round the corner and collides with his body. He reaches out to grasp you before you can stumble back, the feelings hitting you all at once, “What are you doing here?” You swallow thickly.

He licks his bottom lip as his eyes rake over your body. Still in your dress from last night, hair unruly and make-up smudged. Anyone can spot a ‘walk of shame’ when they see one. He laughs internally thinking of how you wasted no time after last night’s rejection.

“I offered to drive him when little hermanita called up again worried you weren’t home yet. Seems we know why now.” A small grin painted across his lips, you squint your eyebrows at his words as you hear your brother approaching the two of you. You step back before Spooky migrates his eyes to behind you, “We got business, everything good here?”

José nods and steps beside you, “Don’t be leaving.”

The two guys leave as you stand there a bit dumbfounded. Y/S/N appears next to you and grabs your hand. She apologizes for you getting into trouble with José. You want to yell at her for starting unnecessary drama. But she explains she didn’t want your brother to potentially find out about your little sneaky link with Spooky.

“Well, he and I ended that shit so nothing to worry about. I went out and got wasted. I am done with these guys. No más!” Though even sounding like fake news to yourself, you go and wash off last night’s memories. 

As the day had gone by, you skimmed through your daily journal of all the entries you wrote about Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz, ripping them out. All 6 pages. You roll your eyes at your thoughts about him, some sappy and some nasty. How did you believe a man who runs a street gang, that is as mean mugging as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street, would be into you the way you are him?

It didn’t matter the answer now. Good riddance of him! That’s when the sound of your window opening pulls you from the wandering thoughts. You stand up quickly, reaching for a bat that’s besides your bed. “Get the fuck out!”

“Calmate! It’s me, Oscar.”

You clutch your chest, doubling over to catch your breath. “What is wrong with you? Ever think of flying a pebble at the window or calling first?” You say as he climbs in, adjusting his flannel before closing the window then your room door. You watch him as he starts to look around your room. Though there’s a part of you that wants him out, you haven’t made any advances to get him out.

He sits on your bed and finally looks at you, “Abajo.”

Uncompliant, you cross your arms and shift your weight to make it known you are fine standing there. He smirks and looks away before locking eyes with you. “You don’t think I like you too? You think I fucked with you for this long cause it was just convenient? Girls everywhere around my place but I was only fucking you. Why do you think that?”

“Is this supposed to be your sweet confession that makes me go all heart eyes? You're gonna apologize and I’m supposed to forgive you and then we give us a try and realize all our worries were nothing but fear that our anxiety instilled in our heads? Because that’s not how it’s gonna go.” You say as he gives you a semi-disgusted look.

You chuckle softly and watch him intently.

Oscar analyzes you closely. It’s a front, no doubt he thinks. He doesn’t deny the thought that you are a thick-skinned woman. He knows you have a superior mind and a mouth to go with it but he knows there is no way that you could’ve gotten over him that quick. Though judging by your appearance earlier in the day, you definitely tried.

You laugh a little more as you step in front of him and lean over to get your vision in line with his. “You made it clear to me and now I’m making it clear. Nothing you say will convince me that you give a rat’s ass about me. If you really did? There would be no sneaky link shit. You wouldn’t have a problem with people knowing about me, or my brother knowing but it is a problem so get out.”

This ticks Ocscar off a bit. He stands which makes you straighten up as he gets in your face, stepping towards you. You are stepping back slowly as he creeps more, “You think you can handle this lifestyle? The constant threats, the territories? You can’t. When it comes to this kind of life, something like love can be the bane of your existence. So we don’t get into it. We don’t get involved because the people we fall for end up dead.”

You’re pressed with your back against the wall and your chests against each other. Oscar’s eyebrows are connected and he’s staring at your agape mouth. His breath is fanning against your lips, emotions hitting you all at once. “I-I slept with someone last night. Got it good too.”

The jealous tactic seems to fail immediately as Oscar laughs. And for some reason the look of amusement on his face seems to be familiar for a reason you can’t seem to figure out.

“Sleeping around is simple, falling for someone is something else entirely. I’m not saying that we jump into something. But at least you know now it’s not just one-sided.” He steps out of your room. You follow and watch him walk down the hall as Y/S/N stands there. She is stunned seeing Oscar nonchalantly trek through the house.

You don’t know what to say. As you look at your little sister, you sigh in defeat trying to explain this one. Instead you go back into your room and shut your door. You got what you wanted, right? But you still feel like something is missing. 

The week had slowly crept on.

A few shifts at the bodega, classes at the community college and life at home. Jose had basically converted you back to your teenage ways. Making sure you were doing your part in parenting your little sister. Friday night Y/S/N wanted to have Dwayne’s BBQ for dinner and since your social life is drier than your skin, you agree. 

The thought of a  BBQ bacon cheeseburger lifts your mood which has been dragging throughout the week. Your sister happily skips into the restaurant as you trail behind slowly, when you enter you look for her and see she chatting up with Dwayne. 

“Y/N!” José calls out and your vision unfocuses from them onto your brother and pile of Santos in a booth. They all look your way including Oscar. You exhale a deep breath through your nose as you put on a fake smile and wave before stepping up to place an order. 

 Your brother approaches you as you look past him to the booth of Santos, “Didn’t know you guys would be here.” He sets down a $20 bill on the counter when the cashier tells you the total. “Foos gotta eat too.” José starts talking to you about something but your focus falls back on Spooky again. You watch as he stands and makes his way towards you. A small panic sets in your chest but fades away as he ends up exiting the BBQ joint. 

Unknowingly to yourself, your watch as he walks to his car. He leans against it and pulls out a cigarette, no matter how hard you try to avert your eyes from him, you can’t. All week you had been doing fine. Even with the little things reminding you of him, even with the memories that have been seeped into your bed. You didn’t dwell too much on thinking of him until you see him now. 

“Talk to him.” 

It’s just like the movies where the car tires come to a screeching halt and there’s the obnoxious crashing sound. You move your eyes to your brother’s. Did he just say what you think he said? “Talk to him? Spooky, what for? Why would I need to talk to him?”

Jose chuckles, “Hermana, I had my suspicions about you two. Then he told me bout it, he acts like it doesn’t bother him much but it does so go talk to him. Yeah, I’m not so thrilled that he’s messing around with my baby sister. I know how he is but I know he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you so I’m cool with it. So go talk to him, figure that shit out because I’m getting over you moping around the house.”

You push him away as you look back to the red impala.  After a moment of contemplating it, you decide to head out and approach Oscar, he had his eyes on you since he settled by his car. You lean on it besides him and cross your arms, “You told my brother?”

He smirks and shrugs his shoulders. You try your best to keep the smug look off your face. He holds out the cigarette, you take it and inhale. Coughing a bit as the smoke burns your throat a little. You hand it back and sigh, turning to look at him.

“I like you, you like me. I’m not saying we jump into something… but why not?” You question as he exhales some smoke, you lock your eyes into his, “You ain’t cut for this lifestyle, you would be a liability. Plus your brother in my line of work? That makes him vulnerable as well. It woul--”

You groan loudly which quiets him mid-rant, “Drugs, alcohol and money do all the same things to him too. You see how he is when he gets wasted. There are so many things that make you all vulnerable. If he can make it work with the hyna he’s with, then you can make it work with me. Plus I know this lifestyle more than you think. I know when and where to be and not to be. I know who to know and who not to know. I know things! So don’t act all big bad Spooky to me.”

Now standing directly in front of him and he’s peering down at you. He dips his face lowers and looks at your lips as you look at his. In no time your lips are connected. Oscar slides his hands over your waist, gripping it and pushing you flush against him. You bring your hands to cup his face, letting your tongue slip into his mouth. A full on make-out session breaks out.

As if you didn’t dream of something like this happening you smile into the kiss, pulling away, “You get into this with me, it’s not gonna be glitter and gold. This shit is tough, I can’t be worrying about the things I already do plus you.” You nod and kiss him again, wringing your arms around his neck, he hugs you and feels calm for the first time in a while.

So you enjoy the night more than you thought you would be. With your siblings and the Santos at Dwayne’s. After a night of chatting, Oscar asks you to come back to his place. And well since it isn’t your first rodeo, you agree and send Y/S/N home with José. 

You don’t keep your hands off him while heading back to his place, you are pressed against him and kissing his neck, he is loving every moment of it. The both of you get out to head into the house but the mood is killed when you walk in to find Cesar and his friends on the couch who get frightened due to the scary movie playing on the TV.

Oscar cursing under his breath, “Can’t you watch movies at some else’s house?” You elbow him as he rolls his eyes. But Cesar didn’t want to start anything with his older brother so he asks Jamal if they can continue watching at his house. Soon after the house is empty and quiet again. The two of you settle on the couch, you straddling him and pulling your top off.

“Yo! There’s someone posted up outside!” Cesar suddenly bursts through the door which causes Oscar to push you off him and reach for his gun. He tells the younger Diaz, his friends and you to stay put as he checks out the fool that runs up on the Santo trap house. You scramble to put your shirt back on and curse when Cesar trails after his brother. You follow in pursuit, trying to tell Cesar that Oscar said to stay inside. “Who is that?” 

“Ray?” You say out loud though you thought you were just thinking it.

Oscar turns to you when you say the name of none other than his estranged father. You look to both Ray and Oscar, looking at the two men and making the connection. You feel the color get sucked out of your face, oh fuck.

“You know him, who is he?” Cesar asks you and he looks at Oscar. The Santo leader has his eyes on you and is still confused as to how the hell you know his father. “He’s our father.” Oscar says, still looking at you.

The confirmation makes you want to be obliterated right in your very spot. This can’t be happening! Is it? You try to speak but nothing comes out of your mouth. You finally look to Ray who has a small smirk on his face and that’s why that look Oscar had on his face that day seemed so familiar. You saw it that night you went out of town to have a good time. 

“Hola de nuevo, pequeña coyote.” Ray says looking at you. 

You grimace as Oscar connects the dots himself. The amount of heat that settles into your face along with the gasps from Cesar’s friends don’t make it any easier to bear.

“Wait Oscar, wait!” He is stepping towards his father, ready to charge. “I didn’t know he was your dad! Listen to me, please!” You step forward quickly and pull his arm back, he yanks it out of your grasp quickly as you plead for him to listen to you.

Oscar begins to snap at you, “Him? This is who you slept with and you want me to listen to explain? Huh?!” The anger booms in his voice as he is mere inches from your face. Cesar appears next to you trying to get between the two of you. You didn’t think Oscar could ever get so mad. And you have seen the Santo leader in moments of rage before. 

“Mijo, listen..” 

Ray’s voice sounds from behind Oscar now. He turns and wastes no time in welcoming him with a right hook. His father stumbles back as you gasp along with the sounds from the teens. “Oscar!”

You take the initiative to stand between the two of them, holding out a hand against Oscar’s chest as he is heaving and exuding anger. Ray is mending to his jaw as he stands up. You notice the lights of the neighbor had turned on and people were beginning to pile outside of their homes to see all the commotion.

“Oscar just stop and listen to me for one fucking second! No, I did not sleep with Ray. We did get together that night, yes but we didn’t do anything that involves other body parts. I started going off about you with him, I vented and we spent the night drinking. I got too wasted and he offered to let me spend the night in his motel room. Nothing happened!” You release in one breath. 

Everyone looks at you, unable to make sense of the situation. 

“That’s why I came, when she mentioned things about you, I had to come see for myself if what niña said is true. That you’re running the Santos.” The two men stare at each other as you stand in the middle. Your heart is racing. 

Oscar doesn’t say anything as he looks back and forth between his father and you. When you step towards him and reach out to grab his hand, he raises his hand up in defense and steps back. You can see the glint of hurt in his eyes as he backs away from you. Your eyes pleading for him to try to understand everything.

You trail behind a fuming Oscar into his house, you are nearly jogging when you catch up with him. But he steps into his room and slams the door in your face. You step back and sigh. “Please talk to me…Oscar. Nothing happened, you have to believe me.” 

He doesn’t respond as you rest your head on his door. You hold your hands on the door silently cursing yourself. What could you say that made the situation sound better? How could you make it look like it really was nothing even with Ray right there?

A few moments have passed by when the door opens, a still very upset Oscar stands there as he flies forwards a bunch of crumbled paper at you. You watch as the papers fall to your feet and he slams the door in your face again. No context of nothing. 

When you pick up the papers, it’s drawings of you. Portraits sketched out from a ballpoint pen. Some dated as far back as a month ago to as recent as a few days ago. Oscar drew you. He did so multiple times and in such craft it takes your breath away. 

You feel the tears begin to well in your eyes. The pain that you have caused him. How do you fix this?

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