#since it's so “”personal“” and offtopic tbh

[gwaaaaar]

The evolution of Noah Thy Creature

wow I am bored af but let me info dump rq teehee, ofc there's gonna be Thy Creature spoilers but its mainly from outdated stuff like the demo/early access so it's not detrimental to the canon lore, just a documentation of how hes portrayed.

The first edition of Noah was with his character profile in March 2021

"A kind and wise mortician. But there is a rumor about him. He never prays for himself."

Portrayed as kind and mysterious, also oddly pious as he prays, to God or whatever idk if hes Christian.

In the kickstarter trailers he is briefly mentioned once, never shown, you meet beta Alex and Justine first instead.

Then there is his demo, "Muscular man in glasses. Kind and level-headed, but somehow uncomfortable to make eye contact with. Claims to not be a pharmacist but has fingers that reek of chemicals."

Still kind, but also with the new information that he's uncomfortable to make eye contact with. I actually have a theory that his eyes are of an unnatural color via supernatural reasons or symbolism. Like how victor and the creature are associated with yellow eyes when that is not a natural eye color for humans to have. A "eyes are the windows to the souls" type beat.

Poc like Noah should not be able to have blue eyes? It depends though. But it's also possible hes biracial bc of his straight hair and nose. Mazm can do poc features considering Mihir Saha and Crack is on the team, so it may be a deliberate design choice to imply his ethnicity because the main focus is not on his ethnicity so it's not as if they can just drop that.

Ok that was very offtopic but in the demo he relatively has a nice demeanor but he's like. since I did this for you, you have to do this for me. Like very entitled, already giving red flags but whatever maybe he's a little quirky. You also meet him first too, and only him bc its a short demo.

That is where he goes from bad to worse bc the early access amps it up by 10. His bio in that edition is "A well built man with glasses. He stares as if his cold eyes are looking through people. His calm voice is low and deep." and then something similar to the he insists hes not a pharmacist thing. His blue eyes are described as cold, so it really may be a personality thing.

This time right off the bat he asks for monetary compensation from the creature, not even a pay back a favor, just straight up money. He has bandages on his hands and a snazzy new pendant. He's far more snarky and dickish in the EA. It's almost funny. He says shit abt how beggars on the street ask him for free services and that he wasnt a charity when the nepe steals his memories from him. But he develops a friendship with the creature anyways, you can see he had loved ones and people he cared for. He wasn't heartless, just reserved. For quite a bit of time you are with him alone and he's the first one you meet, so he has a special role.

I only watched Millie Parfaits stream and some rumors abt the final edition, but from what I hear, Noah gets meaner? From what I saw however he was, kind of the same tbh. Although the personal connection to him gets ruined because you don't meet him alone at first, you meet with him justine and El together. An interesting thing I noticed was they somewhat remembered his pious aspect from his wayyyyy older bio. He wanted to help kids in the slums which ties into the fact that he only prayed for others, never himself. a selfless aspect.

I wonder, is the reason he insists he's not a pharmacist or a doctor or whatever is because that job is associated with helping/caring and he doesnt want to be taken advantage of that way/doesnt wanna be seen as kind.

[mewberii]

Streamer!Scaramouche [2]

thanks for all the support in the first part! i wrote a second part where scaramouche plays genshin + the reader comes in (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so let me know if there’s something off!). you’re a close friend of scaramouche and also a voice actor!

i had been planning this since i wrote the first part, but because i was busy and uninspired i couldn’t finish it. but here it is and it’s actually pretty long (over 5k words...)! i hope you guys will like this!! obviously he’s a little nicer than he is in game but,,, for the sake of the plot + it being a modern au, it had to be done sjnfdskjf

He was selected to play the beta for genshin because of his popularity and tbh he really wanted to play it

The game hadn’t really caught his eye all that much when he first heard about it but he saw how everyone online went crazy over it (plus other streamers who also were selected to play it in early access kept talking about it) and he became more curious to know what it would be like and if it’d live to everyone’s expectations

However he couldn’t really play it until it was officially released because he had a very busy schedule, and when he saw other streams of people playing it he was,,, lowkey jealous because it did look fun

When it was finally released and the game finished downloading and installing, he went live right away

And since so many people were looking forward to seeing him play plus the game was getting so popular so fast, that stream of when he first played hit his biggest milestone of live viewers ever

ANYWAYS skip forward to further into the game

when it comes to the gacha,,,

we’ve established that this boy is loaded. he won’t hesitate to throw some big amounts of money at the game to get every single character and weapon he wants and get their constellations to the max

i feel like he’d make little bets (and it works as a way to thank the chat for the support) like “if i get (insert newest character) in the first 50 pulls, i will gift 50 subs”

he’d be SOOOOOOO LUCKY it’d make everyone who doesn’t play think that it must be very easy to get the 5 stars or that the drop rate must be very high,,,

so in the end he’d have to gift the subs and it’d be funny to see the chat go absolutely crazy because everyone is commenting at the same time trying to see if they got lucky too and got the sub

but the chat goes so fast that they can’t even see their own comment after they send it sNDJGDJSK 

he’d end up turning subs mode on for a while because it goes crazy

and that’s when he’d see people going “I GOT THE SUB-” all excited and he can’t help but chuckle and congratulate them for being one of the lucky ones

probably another game he can use to play with some subs once in a while! they could play co-op and when he’s a very high level he’d go to the worlds of some of his subs with lower level to help them with whatever they need

SO, LITTLE SKIP HERE

this is where i want the reader to slide into the picture

you’d be a voice actor, and also you have been a friend of his for a very long time

he met you even before he started streaming and you were always so supportive of him, as he was of every and each of your dreams

in fact, he would have invited you over more than once to stream with him

people don’t say anything bc they’re afraid of scaramouche banning them (it’s happened before) + they understand it can be disrespectful... but…

some people lowkey ship you two a little bit,,,,,, you didn’t hear it from me. scaramouche don’t ban me----

so one day he’s making another livestream playing genshin (sponsored by mihoyo to promote the newest update and event) and they’re going to release a new character 

AND he has told everyone that you are the voice actor of the new character, who will be introduced in the event and is also getting their own banner

so everyone is very curious of what they’ll be like, if scaramouche will try to get them (obviously he will, he has every single character…. the amount of money he has put into the game…. just thinking of it gives me the heebie-jeebies) 

could he even,,, main them,,,,

spoiler: he won’t because he’ll stay honest till the end (and no hard feelings) but there are other characters that he has built up to the max just like them and still work better with the way he plays but he’ll still find a chance to use them often

he didn’t know anything of what the character you voiced would be like because you wanted to keep it a surprise and he knew his audience would enjoy seeing his first reactions

I think the character you voice in the game would have the role that Scaramouche has in the actual game, and their design would be fairly similar (maybe similar color palette) to the design fans made for him as a genshin character (the one i mentioned that he uses for popup notifs of subscriptions and all!)

needless to say he’d absolutely love their personality and the charisma you showed in their lines

of course when he finally gets them he shows everything about them including all their voice lines and he compliments y/n’s voice acting… that was the first time people suspected that....

mayhaps… scaramouche….

has feelings for you....

it’s in the soft gaze in his eyes,,, the gentle smile on his lips,,, his soft voice when saying “I think this one is my favorite line of theirs”

and just how BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL his laugh sounds when someone comments he should invite you and ask you to do that voiceline live for him and everyone else

he’d jokingly reach for his phone and be like “should i call them? i could” 

(but he wouldn’t because he doesn’t want to disturb you, you may be busy, considering you still hadn’t replied to the messages he sent to you before he started the stream a few hours ago)

if anyone dares be mean to you saying you got the chance to voice act for genshin just bc of scaramouche

or implies that he did something to get you there he’ll get quite mad even tho he won’t speak up about it (he might if enough people say it) 

people can see something shift in his gaze,,,, and he bans them permanently right away

it’d be kinda funny when he does those “reading unban requests” streams and he goes past immediately rejecting people who said those kind of stuff, not even reading the apologies JSNKJFNDSJKGNSDK

some people say he’s too strict about it but literally his stream his rules. people who don’t like him should just not watch him

and people who like him should NOT speak badly about you or doubt your talent and effort, which is what brought you that opportunity in the first place

one day he’d be streaming playing the game, he had been using your character and gathering materials to get their last ascension

and at one point he’d grab his phone and look at the screen for a second before putting it back down and saying he had planned something else for tonight besides playing genshin for a while

then, the doorbell would ring (before he could even close the game-) and it’d be heard from his setup room so people in the chat heard it and they’re all like???

it’s definitely not takeout because scaramouche never orders takeout when he’s on his own, he usually cooks for himself and just orders it when he’s with friends and they all feel like eating something different

actually, offtopic, but i have a feeling he’d be very responsible when it comes to food and like he’d cook himself proper meals all perfectly balanced and all- he could afford having someone cook for him but his house = his privacy and personal space so he’d rather do it himself

it’s like, past 10pm, so no way it would be a package or mail at that time

and then he says “we have a visitor tonight”

and then the chat goes crazy saying “CHILDE” “HARBINGERS” but mostly “Y/N!??!?/PLEASE LET IT BE Y/N”

AND IT WAS YOU!!!!

and omg you brought takeout--------

it had been a while since they had seen you in scaramouche’s stream and you didn’t have your own channel (even though there were many people who encouraged you to open one)

SO everyone was very excited

i feel like scaramouche wouldn’t be the biggest fan of eating on camera so you guys would put the food away so that you can eat it later on your own without an audience

and you two would just spend a while talking to the chat, watching videos

AND reviewing fanart and fanmade content together!! it’d be so cute especially fanarts of the two of you together, little animatics or comics of funny clips or memes from his streams of you two,,,

someone made a little felt plushie of the genshin character you voiced and the way you COOED because it was SO cute

only those who were truly paying attention were able to notice the soft smile on scaramouche’s lips and the way he looked at you as you gushed over how cute the little plushie is and how talented the person who made it is!!

also you’d tell him you saw signora make a stream where she talked to some of her fans on discord individually to give them advice on their life/problems (nothing too serious) and it was very funny and you wanted to do that with him someday

and he’s like “that… could be a huge mess. people could say some crazy stuff” and you’re like “NO but i talked to her about it and she said she got her mods to talk to them first and approve them before they moved them up to the channel where she was to talk to her”

and he’s like “still…….. what if people lie and then when they get to talk to us they say something-”

and you’re like “BOY!!!! DO YOU NOT TRUST YOUR FANS *GASP*” and everyone in the chat is also going “GASP” “HE DOESN’T TRUST US…” “IS THIS YOUR IDOL…..?” “SAY SORRY” (all good fun, obviously he’d love to talk to everyone if he could make sure there won’t be anything disrespectful said)

SO!!!!! you two say you’ll plan to do something like that soon and everyone is very excited, they can already tell it’ll be both super cute and hilarious

before he ends the stream, you two watch some videos together

some are about some upcoming videogames and he talks about them and what he knows and explaining things to you... he is.. so knowledgeable…

the way you look at him as he goes into a little rant about it… cinematic parallels with the way he looked at you before

ONCE AGAIN, people aren’t blind. they notice. but they keep it to themselves bc scary scara (the way i had to resist overusing this one joke with his name-)

so the stream ends and you two walk out of the setup room to go to his living room and eat the takeout you brought while watching something on tv

he apologises because the food is cold now, but you brush it off saying it’s ok, you had missed being on his streams and you two can just heat up the food again

he doesn’t look at you in the eyes as he mutters that you know you can join his streams whenever, and instead just says it as he makes his way to the kitchen to heat the food

you join him in the kitchen soon after and tell him you also bought something for dessert and put it in the fridge already before

and honestly he didn’t know how much he wanted to eat that dessert until it was in his fridge, so he can’t stop himself from sighing and saying “god, i love you”

there’s silence for a second, right as the microwave beeps as it finished heating the food

it feels eternal to him, but you immediately started laughing and said jokingly “of course you do! you’re welcome!” 

he’s happy you took it as a joke because that’s not how he planned to confess (he didn’t plan to confess anytime soon in the first place) but at the same time ?? he’s lowkey offended inside because? you took it as a joke?? is it so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even think that he meant it romantically?

it’s at that moment that he realises that if he didn’t want to confess before, now he does.

he wouldn’t want anyone to know about how he let that slip because he’s sure no one in you two’s friend group even knows he likes you

but you,,, actually,,,,, were actually caught off guard too because scaramouche wasn’t precisely one for words of affection and he showed his care for everyone with his actions

in fact, you had never heard him say those words before but well- it was kinda nice- if only he meant it as you feel it- but he couldn’t, right? who’d confess their feelings so casually while looking at a dessert in the fridge with desire-------

that night, it gets pretty late and to be honest he’s a little too tired to drive you home as he usually would, so he asks if you’d like to sleep over

it wouldn’t be your first time doing so, not even the first time you stayed unplanned, and he had a couple guest rooms that you could use so you accepted

also, staying for longer meant you could keep watching some more of that series with him without worrying about it getting late

or,,,

“actually” you said in a low voice, almost a whisper, since it was getting late and you two had been in complete silence while watching the series “i lowkey still wanted to stream some more”

he scoffs but then lets out a short chuckle, replying in the same volume

“it’s past 2am, who’s going to watch me stream now?”

“i would” have mercy for his poor heart- “but i’d be the streamer too this time so it doesn’t count” 

“what even would we do”

“can we play that co-op game you played with childe? it was so much fun” 

had you not brought it up, he wouldn’t have offered that ever because? if he had recently played it with childe he didn’t want to stream it again and make it feel repetitive for his audience 

(jokes on him because when genshin came out they put up with it being the only thing he streamed for over a week. they’d rewatch any game if it’s you two playing it)

but to be honest, he didn’t really want to stream anymore that day and just wanted to be with you, just you and no one else

he got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway, making you look up to him in confusion for a second, but then started getting excited knowing this meant he was going to let you play it with him

“i don’t really feel like streaming anymore today, but we can still play it. let’s go”

the next day, you two wake up around the same time and make breakfast together

scaramouche i feel is not very talkative in the mornings 

in fact, i feel like he’s just not the most talkative in general. he’s more the type to listen, but it’s different during his streams because he’s doing what he loves and talking about what he loves

and when it comes to you and he talks more it’s because he’s talking to who he loves----

before you’re going to leave and you’re standing at the door about to say goodbye to him, he suddenly speaks up before you can

“do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

you raise your eyebrows in curiosity from the sudden request, but then smile at him and nod

“yeah sure! what do you have in min-”

“it’s a date” he said, interrupting you, which was weird enough of him (since he would never interrupt you), but his words were even weirder-

“h-huh?” you felt the heat rising to your cheeks, and scaramouche just repeated his words

on the outside, he looked so casual and just, confident- bUT INSIDE he was actually panicking a little bit 

but just a little bit.

After a moment, you smiled at him again, this time somewhat more shily but also excited for your date!

“I look forward to it”

Just with that, you two knew you had made the first step

You weren’t just friends anymore

You two had hung out on your own many times before, in fact and as it was mentioned before, you two had even slept over at his house or yours many times before

but it had all always been purely platonic, and you guys had never even questioned that aspect of it even after realising you had romantic feelings for each other

he’d spend the rest of the day thinking of what you could do the next day, as if he hadn’t been brainstorming for ideas all night either

i feel like he hasn’t gone in many (if not any--) dates before

solely because he has never been interested in romance plus he had never liked someone or at least, not as much as he liked you

and even when he found out he felt something for you, he just always told himself he was okay with how things were, because he’d never experienced anything beyond friendship and didn’t feel the need to try and maybe ruin the friendship

SO he didn’t have many ideas of what a good date could be

he definitely didn’t want a cliché corny date, but he really didn’t have any idea of what was good enough for a date

(and if for future dates you want something he’d consider a “”cliché corny date”” he’d do it for you and actually enjoy it)

the last thing he wanted was to have to ask you what you could do for your date

1- because he didn’t want to show you any side of him that didn’t look like he always has everything under control and he’s always composed (as if you wouldn’t want to see every side of him, even his most vulnerable sides- you’d have to work on that with him when you two become official)

2- he… kind of wanted to surprise you…..

but it really got to the point where he really didn’t know what you’d like the most (or what he’d like the most too) and what he wanted most over anything else is to not disappoint you in you two’s first date

SO he finally texted you asking if there was anything special you wanted to do (and therefore indirectly admitting he……….. just really wanted to ask you out. so much he did it without thinking of what he’d do if you said yes--)

you didn’t seem to mind, and in fact you were happy he asked for your opinion 

overall, scaramouche was very independent so he wasn’t one to ask others for advice, opinions or anything, much less for help regarding anything

“how long has it been since we last went to the arcade? we could go there! i heard from childe that they added new games!”

and he’s like !?!?!?? THAT…. is…….. the perfect idea

“that actually sounds perfect” he admitted, and the message brought a big smile to your face 

“just don’t get mad at me when you lose at all of them” he sent right after, teasing you, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh out loud

“the last time i won in your favorite game” you reminded him, and even after he read your message, he took a little bit to reply

(he needed a second to put the pieces of his pride together SJNFKJDS)

“don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again”

“we will see about that” the more you two joked like this, the more excited you got thinking about tomorrow

scaramouche was sure now that it’d be a great first date that you’d both remember forever

the next day, it was almost the time for the date and scaramouche was going to pick you up at your house

i feel like scaramouche would be very fashionable and even in his style he doesn’t try to hide that he’s loaded…

not that he cares about buying cheap clothes, literally he’d say if he likes it and it’s good (aka it’s not cheap because it’s made of something that won’t make it last longer than 3 weeks) he’ll get it

but it just so happens that many times… the clothes he likes most are from famous brands…

AND THIS DAY!!!!!! he’s putting together one of his favorite outfits because it’s a special day

it almost hurts me just how nonchalant he’d look on the outside, making it a little hard to know exactly just how much this date meant to him (because as i said he’s not one to be very vocal about his feelings or even his thoughts)

BUT i trust that you… since you know him well…. can see past all that and you know that this is not just anything casual to him. this is special.

STILL!!!! he’d try his best to not let the blush rise to his cheeks and show, as well as to not let his voice shake when he complimented that you looked very good

ANYWAYS i think i think Scaramouche wouldn’t be one for big pda

the most he’d do where anyone can see is hold your hand or put his arm around your waist

WHICH IS WHY he’d try to be all smooth (and he would manage) reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers with yours

he wouldn’t make eye contact because then he’s sure it’ll show on his face that he’s getting somewhat flustered, but he’d still ask if you’re okay with it, to which you said yes

the area where the arcade was is always somewhat crowded so when you two were getting there, scaramouche would tighten the grip on your hand a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t let go and you’d be pulled apart by people trying to walk past however they can

you know that if you two got serious about your relationship, he would want to be the first person to share the news with his fans

BUT since he was so popular now, you two lived in a pretty big city and now were at a popular area (+ scaramouche wouldn’t be the type to try and hide his identity because he’s never had people make a fuss when they recognise him)

you were a little worried someone would see you two and maybe take a picture and post it online and it’d go viral before he can admit it himself

because of that, you end up throwing back to him the question he had asked when he held your hand 

“are you sure this is okay?”

your question confused him because he didn’t know what you mean, so he finally looked you in the eyes and waited for you to explain further

“it’s just- what if somebody sees us and recognises you?”

he looked away from you and back at where he was going, taking a few seconds to answer before he just shrugged

“i don’t care”

you softly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you waited for him to say something, and almost missed the way he whispered

“as long as it doesn’t affect you”

for someone who seemed and actually tried to seem to self-sufficient, who appreciated his friends but was also okay on his own because he was absolutely comfortable with himself, he was actually…

more selfless than people would ever know, especially when it came to you

you two would have SO much fun in the arcade, trying every single game many times

this time though, scaramouche won in his favorite game so he lived up to his words

you two won so many tickets you literally didn’t even know what to do with them once you got the couple prizes you were interested in

you bumped into a couple fans of his, so you talked for a while

once again, you were met with suggestions of opening your own streaming channel, and even scaramouche said “i’ve told them that many times too, but they always say they think their streams won’t be fun enough”

and the fans are like “NO!! literally everyone thinks you’re super nice and fun!! of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love it!!”

one of the fans (exaggerating a little as a joke) said “i’ll be your number 1 fan i swear” and the three of you laughed, except scaramouche who just scoffed and smirked 

“i am ALREADY their number one fan. but good try” <- scaramouche in his head. say it outloud u coward.

but at the same time it was a joke scaramouche chill pretty much everyone knows you’re their number one fan……. even though you think you’re so smooth………. they just don’t say anything 

they were very nice and fun to talk to and you knew scaramouche and you didn’t really want anything else from the prizes, so you offered you two’s tickets to them

“we don’t really need these anymore so maybe you’ll have more use for them!!”

they got SO excited, the way their eyes lit up :( scaramouche is convinced you’re an angel but he’s also very happy to see how joyful his fans got because those were more than enough for the prize they really wanted-

so after that cute little interaction and having used up your energy for competition, you two leave and think of buying some ice cream or a milkshake or something to end the date nicely and to enjoy while you walk back home

the arcade was not exactly very close to where you two lived (it was far from your house, but even farther from his-) so he asked if you were okay with walking back or if you two should get an uber or something, to which you said you were okay

walking back with him meant!! a little more time you could spend with him

and he was happy you said that because he was feeling the same way and still didn’t want the day to end

we’ll see more about the kind of things he likes and dislikes if he’s released as a playing character BUT FOR NOW i really get this vibe that he’d LOVE boba tea

i even think he’d?? enjoy tea in general??? classy boy…

SO you two would end up going to get some boba 

it was very touching how, when reading the flavors they had that day, he suddenly and casually went “oh, they have your favorite” and you looked at the one he was pointing at and !!! indeed it was your favorite!!!!!!!

he remembers this kind of details very well

you take the chance to talk some more as you’re walking home

scaramouche asks about your job with voice acting and you tell him that you actually have been recording some new lines for your genshin character lately because in the next update there’ll be an event involving them

he’s looking forward to it but he teases you a little asking if it’s okay for you to spoil him with such information

but it’s okay because it’s not like he’d tell anyone, especially knowing it could get you in trouble

when he drops you off at your house, he has a hard time saying goodbye

literally you’re standing at your door and he’s in front of you, a couple steps away, looking away from you

you don’t say goodbye either, mainly because you know scaramouche is working the courage to say something, and you can also sort of guess what he wants to say

you think of saying it first, but then think that it would make scaramouche proud to be honest about his feelings and confess first

“i’ve liked you for a long time”

you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, unconsciously reaching a hand up to slightly cover it

“i feel the same way” you replied to him in a soft voice

he took a deep breath and exhaled it softly, finally lifting up his gaze and making eye contact with you

it was already dark outside, so you couldn’t appreciate the faint rosy blush on his cheeks well

“can i kiss you?”

your eyes widened for a second, not expecting him to ask and if anything, thinking he’d just step forward and do it

so you were a little embarrassed and caught off-guard to reply properly, so you just nodded and put your hand down as he took the last couple steps and his face was right in front of yours

he’d cup your cheek in one of his hands, feeling the warmth of your skin

you closed your eyes, and he looked at you for a second longer before he finally leaned in and closed the short distance that separated your lips

at that moment you both knew that you had been missing on so much more when you two just settled and were content with your friendship

but!! that was about to change now, so it was all worth it

after that, scaramouche would make clear that this would be the first day of your relationship!! and even if he didn’t say it with words, you could just feel his happiness!!

so!! after that, because of work you two got a little busy the next couple months so dates weren’t very frequent 

or at least, they weren’t dates like the one you first had

but still whenever you two were free he’d go over to your house, or you’d come over to his to play, stream together, or literally just spend time together doing anything

he wouldn’t let people know you two had started dating straight away (if anything, only his other streamer friends -aka you two’s friends in common- knew)

but the day he said it, he wanted you to be there

SO one day you two were streaming and you were currently reacting to one fanart of you two together

so he looked at you and you made eye contact and it was like you two spoke with your eyes like

“do we tell them now”

“let’s tell them.”

so scaramouche would clear his throat and without closing the fanart, he’d say he has something he wanted to announce

everyone was excited thinking it’d be some new project, maybe involving you

maybe some merch??? and the fanarts had reminded him of it???????

BUT THEN he straightforwardly said

“y/n and i are dating”

and everyone goes aBSOLUTELY CRAZY

amidst the chaos, you two catch a comment saying “will you unban the people who shipped you two” and you laugh

and you look at each other like “did you read that one?” “yeah”

and scaramouche is like “yeah, i guess i will have to unban some people”

and when some get unbanned they’re like “fREEDOM!!!!”

and jokingly they’re all like “APOLOGISE!!!!!!!! SAY SORRY!!!” so he just laughs and you join them being like “!!! apologise!!! you banned them for it and!! look at you now!!”

so he ends up trying to hold in another laugh as he mutters a halfassed ‘sorry’ and everyone starts commenting claps and hearts and celebrating that he apologised. now justice has been made.

the rest of that stream suddenly feels livelier and brighter!! you two are laughing a lot and so is everyone in the chat!! 

and also the new genshin event would’ve already just been released that same day so you can talk about some of your experiences with recording or what you thought of it

and scaramouche would let you play it yourself!! (he still hadn’t played it) and it was also the first time you played genshin live!! you’d show people the characters you have and everything and tell them some anecdotes

people would be SHOCKED because you!? don’t have the character you voiced!? D:

and you’re like “yeah… i pulled for them and used up all my primogems and… didn’t get them”

and your banner is back because of the event, so scaramouche won’t let this slide!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR CHARACTER.

your luck is terrible compared to his so at one point you’ll literally feel bad for how much he’s spending for you to get it

but he doesn’t mind at all and everyone is having fun so!!

and once you finally get them you’re sO HAPPY and everyone in the chat is celebrating

and you think it’s over but scaramouche is like ???? what are you doing?? open the wish page again. you’re going to get them c6.

and you’re like oh my gOD PLEASE NO DON’T SPEND MORE MONEY ON ME FOR THIS

but he won’t listen and he’ll do it

so!!! he’ll always do his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you!! so you better give him your heart!!!!

[venteamocha]

Hello! Sometimes I see you post stuff from IF blogs and I've recently started playing some IF games, which I've enjoyed so far. Do you have any IF stories you'd recommend in particular? I'm not attached to any particular genre and I don't need romance or a self-insert main character, (though I'm not opposed to either). Though, it's a definite plus if it's LGBTQ+ inclusive! I'm not really sure what the "cornerstones" are of IF so I'll take any and all recommendations haha

Oh god, I play so many IFs. So many. And it’s not even close to all of them, but I’m trying!!

Tbh IFs without romance seems to be very rare, I think because when I think IF I think Choice of Games, and those pretty much always have romance in them. At least, the most well known ones do. But a well done one without romance would be nice too!

Okay, this is a list of my favourites! They’re all LGBT+ inclusive, and most have gender selectable love interests, or at least ones that change gender depending on the gender and sexuality combination you pick. In no particular order, of course.  Behind a cut because I’m gonna give them each a mini review. Because I haven’t done that yet.

(There are so many.)

Mind Blind: I absolutely love our big brother Nick, I love how witty and sharp so much of the dialogue is, I love how the MC clearly has a rather large handicap, but is still such an important person to so many people and not looked down on in the slightest. And when they are, we all know it’s because that person is a jerk! They’re not defined by what they aren’t, but what they are, and that’s a great message.

Shepherds of Haven: Part of why I love this one so much is I just love fantasy settings and this one just pulls it off so well. The cast is full of amazing characters, and I gotta say I die inside pretty regularly for not being able to afford the patreon content, lol. The author puts so much amazing stuff on there, and gives us so much great content in the game and through answers on tumblr, and you can tell this whole thing is just the best thing ever to them, and that makes it the best ever for us readers too!

The Wayhaven Chronicles: I’d be shot if I didn’t mention this one, the series that literally killed dashingdon when the book 3 demo dropped!! Again, another author that cares a lot and does their best to do right by their fans. We’ve been given drip after drip of these amazing characters backstories, and I just cannot wait for more! It’s definitely very romance centered, but the overall plotlines are also very good, and I have to say that no matter who I romance, I just feel like the group as a whole is a family. And that’s wonderful.

Speaker: I really like the lore. I really like the lore. I can’t wait until we get more of the overall plotline. Mostly I want my Speaker to get in deep trouble so Seb, Li and Seer (best sister ever) go off and beat the shit out of whatever is causing it. This probably says something about me, but what can I say, I thrive on angst and inflicting near death injuries on my OCs. Sometimes I even kill them, although all of this is offtopic. Or is it? I guess we’ll find out, although I doubt we’ll actually be able to kill off Speaker. And yes, I am definitely playing the Seb & Li poly route. I love them both so much. 

Wilhelmina: I love vampires, ok? Ok? And this one is based off Dracula!! The OG!! And you can choose Drac’s gender!! Shit, sign me up forever!! Yeah, she might be literally killing my bff, torturing my fiancé and low key fucking with my mind, but vampires are hot!! Let me live! Or not. But yeah, this is a really well done retelling of the Dracula novel and I like how well it works as an IF. Did I mention I like vampires?? Especially when they get all monstery?? (This one has an MC with a set gender, as it’s based on an already existing literary figure. Mina can have a same sex relationship with dracula, if you make drac a female, or with Lucy, a female love interest.)

More Things in Heaven and Earth: Hi Nell!! First off, I gotta uncover a deep shame of mine. My family literally has a Shakespeare heirloom collection. As in, my greatgrandfather passed down through the family a collection of Shakespeare that was published in 1911. In ye olde englishe. I tried to read it when I was like 10 and was like what language is this?? What the fuck? What the fuck??? And ended up reading As You Like It, a bit of Romeo and Juliet, and a little of Hamlet. Didn’t touch the rest of it. I only got into the other stories through trashy ya reimaginings. That said, this retelling of Hamlet inspired me to go read the whole of the original and now I have a lot of fears for these characters that I’m so much more attached to, oh god I hope my Ophelia has a happy ending. I hope Hamlet himself has a happy ending. The dialogue is so well done, everyone is engaging, and yeah it made me finish an old af book when nothing else did. (This one also has an MC with a set gender, female, for the same reason. However, there are two gender variable love interests, so you can very much play a bi or gay Ophelia if you so choose.)

Guenevere: I love King Arthur. All the myths. I have so many books based on the King Arthur mythos, oh dear god. I love pretty much every version of it. All the movie and tv shows too! I just can’t get enough of those knights. I could go on for paragraphs about how courtly love worked and how all the different social castes were, but I’ll try not to. This series lets you customize Guen as a character to an amazing degree, considering that she’s also based on an actual literary figure like the other two I mentioned above. It really feels like she becomes your own character, and yet she still exists within this world very very well. I worry quite a bit that the author might have bit off more than they can chew with the current book they’re working on, what I’ve seen of it looks absolutely massive in scale. What is out so far is a wonderful read though, full of drama and laughter and lots of chances to make the story your own.

Bastard of Camelot: Yep! Another King Arthur series! Sue me! This one lets you set Mordred’s gender though, so it’s more inclusive in that way. It is very interesting to play as one of the “bad guys” of the King Arthur mythos. You can play them as straight up evil, as good, or you know, a bit of column a and a bit of column b. Or they can just be a rude little shit. It’s got dragons too! You get a dragon pet! Dragons are cool. It can be a bit tough to play sometimes, since a lot of people dislike Mordred quite a lot because of prejudices. Hopefully this will change a bit later in the series if you’ve been a fairly good person up to that point. Gotta say though, as a warning, that Mordred is a product of incest. It’s not glossed over, and it does cause a lot of problems for them in the story.

God of the Red Mountain: I just love that this inspired me to read more chinese mythology tbh. There is just so much here! And it’s just such a good read. I wish I was better at describing things. The MC being a spirit that you can define, the whole setting, most of the love interests also being spirits, the massive amount of history and culture and lore, how it all fits together. It is such a well done story. I really wish it got more attention than it does. I still miss Big Sister. I still can’t wait to find out more about the foxes, and how we can heal our MC.

The Nameless: Another one that lets you play as something otherworldly. I love the lore behind this one, and I love all of the cast I’ve met. I kind of like that our MC isn’t loved right off the bat, that we’ll have to win over all of our love interests and even the other npcs. I’m up for the challenge! Everything I’ve read on the tumblr for these characters just makes me love them all more tbh. I love how much they’ve written for all of them! Most of all though, I love Oisein. All the art of them is just *chef kiss* and their personality is magical.

A Mage Reborn: This is a really recent one but!! Wow, it’s really well done! That cliffhanger!! Oof!! Not many books literally start with killing your MC off! That takes guts! I told the author this already, but I love the way they formatted this, the way it starts with the end, so to speak, and then fills it all out. It just made everything feel so poignant, how MC is literally looking back at all these moments in time in the last minutes they have before they die. Shit. That’s powerful. And there’s gonna be more??? Can’t wait for that angst. Give me that drama. Of course I picked the one who had me killed, that’s just how I am!

These are all just the COG type games, there are a few twine games with graphics I’d throw on here, but the list is long enough as it is and they feel like they’re in a different category to me. Maybe it’s just me?

[lucy-sky]

1, 6, and 9 :)

1. What fandom(s) did you join this year?

Shea Whigham fandom? Yeah, I can tell it exists :D Technically it started in the end of 2020 for me though, but in 2021 I became more active and met more people. One of these people even lives in my country and we met during my summer trip :)))

Jon Bernthal fandom - it's really funny because I actually like Jon since I watched TWD in 2017. Why i didn't interact with anyone from the fandom? GOOD QUESTION :'D here I am now though, thank you Small Engine Repair. And I must say I feel pretty comfortable around you guys, I'll probably stay for a while :DDD

(also offtop but I think I dragged another colleague into Jon appreciation club, so there are 3 of us in the library now... fun!! xDD)

6. Did you have any new ships this year?

Hmmm... Roy and Keeley from Ted Lasso?.. Oh! Eddie and Venom!.. No, wait, this ship isn't new xD Idk, I'm a terrible person and tbh I just ship fictional characters with myself. There, I said it x'DDD

9. Recommend something that you really enjoyed in 2021.

Already made some recommendations here, but I can recommend more :DDD

Boss Level

South of Heaven and The Gateway - both films is not perfect but I just recommend it because of Whigham, he appeared in 3 movies this year and these 3 characters - Packie, Parker and Schmidt are SO different, I mean I already knew the man's got the range, but I'd like to point it out once again :DD

Spider-Man: No Way Home (I know, everyone already saw it, but still it was really enjoyable)

Thanks for asking!!! :)

End of 2021 asks

[nctzenina]

my favorite nct blurb/fanfic blogs <3

hiya!!!!!! this is a small amount of my favorite nct blurb/fanfic blogs because they're such amazing writers and inspire me to write more! anyways, to sum it all up, i love these blogs (and the people running them, platonically) <3. you should all definitely check these blogs out

@theleemark — your blurbs are so amAZING, like please. your jeno one make my heart sCREAM, I SWEAR JFJDJDK. anyways let me cut to the chase,, your writing is SO good. you're doing great, don't let anybody tell you otherwise <3. love your blog btw !!

@chocolvte — AAAAAAAAAA, you really be out here feeding us sO MUCH. like, my ult is doyoung (fun fact!!! i love him with all my heart, body, & soul hajwsjjaj) and i love reading every single post of yours. you seem like such a fun person and you're also an amazing writer. (btw your blog is sososososo pretty!!)

@kopikokun — first time i read one of your writings it was a haechan one (very specific, i knOW) and i was HOOKED. i mean it was so good. i could never compete with you, like???? YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD, I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS ALKSAMDKFNFK.

@jensungf — i discovered your blog recently,, (and i mean like yesterday or something?? idk i lost track of the days) and your youtuber!jaemin fanfic almost made me scREAM, its literally so good. you're literally sO FUNNY and entertaining pls. you're one in, like, 7 billion+!!

@angelicmark — questioning if im a hard stan or a soft stan or in between ever since i came across your blog, literally so addicted to haechan smuts (oops!!! my soft stan status is shaking) and you are basically feeding the addiction, which means THANK YOU SO MUCH?!KKDLX. because like im picky about fanfics i like n i dont read fanfics too too too often so i have to write out my ideas (fun fact: i literally hate my wriTING.)

@dreamiesnme — GRRR YOUR BLURBS ARE SO GOOD. theyre literally so cute and make my heart M E L T. and like sure i havent read every single one of your blurbs, but even by reading a single one, i can tell you have talent!!! everyone should tell u that,, bc ur such a talented writer.

@neostruck — bye i literally love your blog so much and you seem like one of those people that never ever ever ever get boring,, which is like such an amazing trait to possess?? because boring people jUST- no hate for boring people, but 😳😳. im always around fun and funny and chaotic people (shoutout to all my online AND irl friends) so i dunno. I WENT OFFTOPIC BUT YES I LOVE UR WRITING AND BLOG!!!

@chocolvte — aotc aka author of the century LIKE PLEASE... ur writing is SO good like pls,, my heart goes ⬅️↙️⬇️↖️⬅️↘️➡️↗️ everytime. even nct would be proud tbh, and skz, and ryujin, and trans & african american people, and more!!!!, honestly just keep doing what ur doing cause Sweetie Ur Doing Great.

special thanks !

here's a special thanks to everyone that's read or is reading any of my works because it means a lot for you to stop by and even read just a single word! <3

@dreamsaboutnct — literally tysm for even having notifs on for me because like?!E?! ksjdkjdkd. you probably saw this coming (or did you??????????) because like ur the first person i discovered that had notifs on for me.

to all my followers — thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO much for coming on my blog, reading one or more of my works, and deciding that you enjoy them and doing the honor of following me. that sounds really dramatic but 😳😳. basically, thank u so much for liking & reading & reblogging my works & following me!!!

anyways, thank you for stopping by and reading this long ass post!!

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

[incarnateirony]

Interesting rediscoveries

Hoping this can fix a LOT of misconceptions, break old broken rhetoric that’s used to discredit this wonderful old study, and maybe give some faith back between broken wings of fandom.

I was doing a but of deep diving for my old charts and graphics and sources, to visibly reconfigure things that are about two computers ago when I first found them. I mentioned showing people how my demographics were found before I stress tested and fine tuned them for my ratings reports. One of my (several collaborative) sources was the tumblr fandometric (for the record, I use 7 sources, but that's offtopic right now). I decided to see if there were any I forgot about that might help fill in the blanks for other people and found a funny "inconsistency" which is actually a huge point prover.

A frequent protest I've heard is that "it's just a high number of Castiel fans that answered!" and while... yes, yes that's true to some extent, it's also not entirely true.

One of the divisional brackets was "Cas fan" or "Sam&Dean ONLY," now given, knowing the state of the fandom, some people may very well qualify as neither and there was no "I LOVE THEM ALL" option. Of course, we could just speculate that's what it is, but let's have some fun here.

By "Cas fan" or "S&D only fan" brackets,

We see SD exclusive Dean at 54%, Sam at 46%, and Cas at 100%; clearly S&D fans had to divide their demo. However, this illustrates both demos stayed in their lanes during this poll.

...Only those who IDENTIFIED. But in theory, since this was a “Cas heavy” demographic, that answer should be staggeringly overshadowing. (I’ll post the sums on answers later for another point.)

Let's look at the actual main result, 28.57% share should be left between Sam and Dean in comparison to whatever overshadow Cas would put in, theoretically.

But we don't get that.

But what else are these numbers telling us? Well, if we were working on the "roughly 3.5 times as many Cas fans" theory (based on other tilted responses on other charts and common naysaying 0 here’s one where we know ALL answered Cas stan responses are one bin), dividing up Sam and Dean's red/blue poll vs the Castiel 100% gives us 13.14 for Sam, and 15.43 for Dean, which should have left us with 71.43 for Cas. But he got less than half that. So something's up. Let's do easy math and gouge the others in half, down, to match. 6, 7, 33.

But that isn't what we get at all.

This is the GENERAL, TEAM FREE WILL, SHOW LOVING AUDIENCE AT WORK FOLKS.

This poll is actually a walking manifestation that for every person that identifies as an X or Y fan, there's at least three more that don't identify a preference, identify TFW, or general audience, even in social media. But most certainly do NOT identify as “S&D ONLY”

Because I'm gonna give you the truth of how the respondents actually answered.

Yes, it was very Cas heavy. Here you go.

About nine times as many people identified as Cas fans than ONLY Sam and Dean.

3,298 Cas fans responded to the "emotional investment" poll. Out of 10,000. 420 people identified as Sam and Dean only. Out of 10,000 respondents. We know for a FACT that 3,298 Cas stans chose Cas. We know for a FACT 193 chose Sam and 227 chose Dean. Those numbers should be Sam showing at 1/17th of Cas' result, and Dean showing at 1/14th of Cas' result. But he's not. It's not. We get 67% Sam and Dean sum with 33% Castiel. Similarly, on Dean-and-Sam voters, there was only an 8% divide, but on the final chart manifestation, Dean holds 33% more popularity than Sam. In fact, quite interestingly, Sam and Cas' sums amount to Dean's equally, which is a point I've always made: Dean is the hub of the characters and gains attention from both lanes.That last part is subjective observation, mind you, but quite funny to see pan out in numbers like this.

That leaves 6286 unidentified floaters. That leaves nearly twice-over the Cas fan bulk. Why were Cas' results half of what they "should" have been? Because of this. Dean needs 5,000 respondents for that number to make the mark, we know where 227 came from. Sam needs 1700. We know where 193 came from. 6280 votes were unaffiliated. Cas fans readily identified, but NOT all Sam and Dean fans identified Bro-Only. In fact, less than 7% of fans count as Bro-Only. And a few may not have knowingly identified TBH.

As for the frequency of Cas exclusive answering, I’ma take it as “cornered fox syndrome” since you’ve let that Bro-Only bracket trumpet at you for so long. Look, bruh, you really don’t need to.

And sorry, my fellow Sam fans, but unfortunately Sam still isn't doing that hot with GA. As observed in my other work abroad, Castiel has an incredibly loyal base (as per the 72-74K viewer-plus average), so I don't think there's particular need to assume GA slammed him entirely and this metric makes perfect sense with all trends we're seeing. General, TFW audience is incredibly Dean-Winchester-Centric, or the ITTY BITTY DIVIDE of the brothers wouldn't have turned into a thrice-over massacre. Even still, only 13.3% of Sam dedicants in that result were Bro-Only too. SOME OF THEM ARE LIKE ME: SANE. 4.5% of Dean were bro-only, or 1/3 the frequency of Sam per capita.

Sam is not pulling the general audience. This fandometric is from S10. Sam hasn't been pulling the general audience for years. There's a dedicated forum of about 200 high-rung Sam stans, a WATERFALL of Dean stans that don't necessarily identify with "Bro Only" or "J2", a strong base of Cas fans and a smatter of TFW/GA across it all.

And there you have it.

Cas fan turn out was high, yes, but general audience turnout was highest, two-fold the Cas stans.

Which makes this a very interesting infographic to finish with. GA/TFW fans minded,

I could go on about that chart’s ramifications for days but it deserves its own rant at some point. That wasn’t the point of this rant as much as detailing the umpteenth reason the naysayers are wrong about ... well, everything TBH. As if my weekly projections didn’t say enough.

[tumblunni]

I'm living for all of this Loki content my dash is blessed today -w-

Hey icm super glad you love it! Itcs all from the same one amazing artist who can do like 40 styles and draws loki from all of his different continuities! Im so glad i found a secret treasure trove of lokes!Oh and lol its also good to find some Non Problematic content of him for once, i donct reblog him ofteb cos its so hard to dig through the piles of creepy crud that occupy all the most popular slots in his tag. Like i mean eww the in/cest th/or/ki ship or whatever its called. (Slashes so it doesnt go in the tag, cos i dont wanna send shipping hate or anything.) It really creeps me out that its the most popular ship, cos even if loki is adopted they still grew up together from goddamn birth. Like usually at least these nebulous 'not blood related' ships are all 'well i just met my long lost brother as an adult and fell in love not knowing he's my brother' or somethibg. Still creeps me out but at least i can see the reasoning why other people aren't creeped, kinda. Aaagh why is it so hard to find wholesome childhood antucs with brothers who love each other in the normal brother way!!Oh and im not actually a HUGE fan of marvel loki? I personally prefer the original norse myth and only got into marvel loki cos i found the tags full of him and empty of anything else, lol. But he's still a good! If anything he'd be better as his own original character tho, which is why i prefer the changes made in the movie version. (Eveb if it has its own complaints like how they didnt develop him enough and never revisit his damn jotun backstory when its ALL WE WANT, MARVEL)Oh and funny random trivia is that even tho myth loki lacks the in/cest problem, him and thor is still a creepy ship cos he's actually his dad's age. Super stuck up myth accuracy obsessed teenage me could never get past this fact! Seriously it was such a weird choice to make loki thor's brother when he was odin's age in the myths. Like he was basically thor's godfather?? And also him and thor were 99% fun friendship adventures both on the hero side, instead of always at odds with only occasionally loki switching to the good. Srsly everyone forgets that myth loki was a 'good guy' for most of the story because his switch to a villain in the final ragnorok myth is so memorable. And i mean the myth aesir were more pragmatically neutral than 100% good anyway. Everyone was flawed which was why it was sad they dissolved into conflict in the end and destroyed each other. Loki wasnt some big destined evil coming out of nowhere to attack asgard, he was asgard attacking itself due to petty squabbling and causing its own downfall. So in a sense thats a way the marvel universe is accurate!Oh and myth loki also always knew he was a jotun lol,which makes it double frustrating that they made him have this inherantly sympathetic plot of lost selfhood and then NEVER FOLLOWED UP ON IT! Especially when they gave him a cool as fuck "true form" instead of making jotun look exactly like the other gods except generally stereotypically 'dumb'. Seriously loki being a small jotunn wasnt even super unusual, they weren't all giants even. There wasn't much consistancy to it though, sometimes the more main character-y chessmaster jotun were small and had shapeshifter powers, but also there were magical big ones and dumb orcish small ones and everything in between. And the rules of loki's magic seemed to change all the time too, lol! Mythology has way less internal continuity than actual books or movies, since its passed down orally for centuries after all.who even knows what's changed in all that time?Aaaaagh im rambling so offtopic yo cos mythology is so interesting and so is comic books and the MCU!!!Anyway Loki Is Good In All Of His Myriad FormsOh but even though i generally don't like comic loki as much, i do enjpy that they've recently made it canonical that he's genderfluid like his myth counterpart. You go loki you lgbt icon!!! Mcu version how bout adding some of that?Oh and i havent seen thor ragnorok or the thanos thing yet, cos i kinda lost interest in later thor movies cos well i was always here for loki instead of thor, lol. Its hard to keep track of exactly which mcu movies he was in when its like.. Half of his own series and 75% of everyone else's. But i do know generally what happens in those two, like how loki FINALLY gets redeemed and has cute brother scenes that have become Every Meme.and then he apparantky gets killed off at some point but tbh i dont believe it considerinh how many other times he's died and come back in other films/comics/tv shows/the everything. Nooooone dies like Loki! Always fries like Loki! Has mortality based on pure lies like Loki!God im in such a fandom mode right now aaagh youve set me off xD

[actuallyschizoid]

How do you forgive someone who was/is currently being emotionally abusive? + any other advice of being a victim of my emotional abuse you have

Hey, sorry for late response. 

Well, I personally can’t say all that much about emotional abuse or forgiving the abusers. Because:

1) I’m not quite sure if i was abused emotionally, 

2) it’s quite likely I wouldn’t notice even if i was, 

3) even if i notice it, I’m unlikely to get angry about it or otherwise emotionally unsettled to be in situation where I need to forgive said person for it, 

4) even if by whatever means I get offended, I tend to get over it pretty fast whether I want it or not, I just don’t have emotional capacity to sustain those kind of strong emotions for long enough. 

5) in theory even if it was the case, I’m not sure I even know how that forgiving thing works, so most likely I’d just stay the fk away from that person for the rest of my life (if it was something serious) without ever considering forgiving them.

I asked our discord folks this question to get some extra input on it, and apparently I’m not the only one having issues with noticing emotional abuse.

Also most consistent advice was to strongly consider NOT forgiving whoever abused you. Because why the fuck would you forgive people who hurt you? Is there some kind of good reason for it? Like, you have no other option but to share your space with them for years to come? 

If that’s the case, and the benefits of tolerating them around are higher than the discomfort of them being emotionally abusive to you (or the side effects of leaving them would be even more unpleasant or even dangerous), then maybe it’s possible to get in some compromise terms of co-existence at relative piece. In which case you still don’t really need to forgive them to tolerate their presence. 

And if there is a viable alternative other than spending more time with those people, then... well, use that alternative, perhaps? And don’t forgive them, because what’s the point in that anyway?

Then again, I’m not quite sure I understand what do you mean by emotional abuse. It it supposed to be something that asshole parents or other relatives do to their kids? If that’s what you mean, I’m... still not really sure I had it. I mean, I’m mostly lucky with my parents not being unloving assholes. If anything, they are annoyingly caring even now, despite me being adult for a long time. 

They have their issues, sure. Mom had a few occasions of being hysterical, for example. She could do shit like throwing cups at the walls, etc, yelling, etc. But not once I had a reason to doubt she’d actually hurt me or that she’s doing anything because she hates me or doesn’t care. I know she’d rip anyone’s throat for my sake with her own teeth even if that was the last thing she’d do. 

And tbh that scares me to shit and makes me dislike the idea of having family of my own even stronger - since last thing I’d ever want is being that much out of control of my own consciousness to go against my own interests for the sake of another person, even if we were genetically related. I mean, I can kind of experience shades of that towards parents already, and it’d suck even more to have more people to care about.

But anyway, that’s a bit offtopic. What I’m trying to say, if I were able to be angry, hate someone or be offended for a long time, I’d have a bunch of shit to forgive (or likely not forgive) them for. Like forcing me into college that I never wanted to go, that kind of stuff. Ok, maybe even a bunch of episodes of yelling at me for reasons I couldn’t understand, or being too controlling and not understanding enough. But emotional abuse... that won’t be on the list of things-I-don’t-know-how-to-forgive. 

I’m sure some of my followers have more experience with emotional abuse tho. Feel free to add up, and I’ll post it (unless I forget I have a blog for couple weeks again >_>). 

https://discord.gg/naNUfvr - our schizoid discord invite link. Join it if you’re schizoid, questioning or just for whatever reason interested in talking to schizoids or getting to know them better. Also spread it please if you know someone who might find use in it. There’s plenty of useful info and surprisingly nice community. Can you imagine people most of whom have low empathy and emotional issues would make a much healthier, free of hostility environment than most NT communities are? Well, somehow that’s how it is. 

[pr1nc3-ed]

More tag games yay, thanks for tag @aileenaison <3 damn this will be a long one :P sooooooo here we go:

1. Favorite anime? Okay (little edit: i forgot to update this one LMAO) fullmetal alchemist, both versions, Fate/Zero and... aaaaaah i like many stuff tbh ;-; 2. Your worst anime? 11eyes. I CANT BELIEVE HOW I WAS ABLE TO EVEN FINISH THIS PIECE OF CRAP. Honorable mention to Mars of Destruction, but at least this one was the “so bad its good” trope and funny af to watch. 3. Do you read the manga that goes along with the anime you watch? Sometimes I would do that like when Reborn was airing, same for FMA Brotherhood. But its been a looong time though... 4. Most favorite genre? Comedy, action,adventure... and (it will go kinda offtopic but its related to a genre) nowadays I feel like i'm really getting attached to mecha shows. I liked Evangelion (not a favorite, but still really good) in my teenage years along with Code Geass (didnt see season 2 yet tho, fuck me), I used to enjoy Aldnoah.Zero 1st season a lot (until it went to shit, this show traumatized me) and since last year I started checking out Gundam animes, I was able to finish a few ones, even the 1st one despite being so old... so uhh yeah I joined the Sunrise/Bandai mecha empire, it wont be long until i buy a gunpla lmao. 5. Least favorite genres? Idk... kinda hard to pick one. Maybe some slice of life stuff with a lot of moe? Tried watching things like K-ON and... i couldnt resist lmao. 6. Favorite character/s? Kaneki, Touka and Eto (Tokyo Ghoul), Yato (Noragami), Kotomine Kirei, Archer and Gilgamesh (Fate series), Setsuna (Gundam 00), Char Aznable (Gundam/Gundam Zeta), Koyomi Araragi and Suruga Kanbaru (Monogatari series), Chrollo Lucifer and Killua (Hunter x Hunter), Death the Kid (Soul Eater), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Joseph Joestar (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure), Aigis and Elizabeth (Persona 3), Golbez, Kain and Rydia (Final Fantasy IV), Squall Leonhart (Final Fantasy VIII), Zidane (Final Fantasy IX), Ike (Fire Emblem), Dante (Devil May Cry), Laharl (Disgaea),  D.va, Tracer, Mercy and Mei (Overwatch), Darth Sidious, Han Solo and Obi Wan Kenobi (Star Wars), Demon Hunter (Diablo 3; okay its only a class in game but I love the female DH okay?), Link and Sheik (Legend of Zelda; ok Sheik is Zelda, so I guess both? haha)... OKAY THATS ENOUGH FOR TODAY, see, this is why I say those top 10 characters arent enough LMAO 7. Least favorite character/s? Kirino from Ore no Imouto, Kirito from Sword Art Online, Miyuki Shiba from Mahouka, Yuka from 11eyes, many characters from Bleach, Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist (people who watched any version can already imagine why I hate him), Seryuu from Akame ga Kill (only because she is a legitimate hypocrite and piece of shit in the story) aaaand the list goes on. 8. Qualities you like in a character? Well, idk what to list, but feeling kinda unique and having personalities that stand out in the show? Someone who can singlehandedly carry an anime (like Yato would do in Noragami for me) by him/herself, etc 9. Short or long anime? Short animes. Idk how im going to watch a long anime anymore... maybe the 50/60 episodes ones, but going for the 100/200 list is harder to me nowadays :( 10. Anime or manga? Anime. But mangas tend to be better when it comes to plot since some adaptations are just a trainwreck (hi tokyo ghoul)... 11. How do you choose the anime you watch? Recommendations, suggestions, checking out synopsis and genre, seeing if its similar to something i enjoy... usually these are the ways i choose something. OR also if I really feel like watching something and taking a break from some anime genre. 12. Skip or listen to intros/outros? I skip after watching in the first episodes... but whenever i watch any last episode, i tend to not do that. 13. How do you cope if your friends or family don’t like you watching anime? I don't mind... unless someone starts acting like a fucking retard and being ignorant about it, not even respecting my opinion etc. 14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it? I tend to forget or get lazy even if I like some animes... so when it comes to stuff i dont like and i think they are bad: i drop them. UNLESS some kind of miracle forces me to continue it until the end... or the "so bad its good" vibe helps too.

tagging @s-e-l-f-i-s-h-n-e-s-s @kurome-in-wonderland @nora-amiticia @mut4ti0ns @xsinonx @yetanotherfluffyotaku @kanashiri @softchubs @yorozuya-ken-chan @teyilai @myluchanblog @meanimes @valkyrievillain @kamekku @taeyanng optional to do that and sorry if i bothered anyone by tagging ;;

[actuallyschizoid]

Hi, thanks for your blog! I wanted to ask if you play anything. You said you have a good hearing or so, and I was thinking if it's possible for SZPD to be musicians? I used to play bass myself, and I'm SZ{D, but I'm not too good at it.

Someone asked me about music before, like in this post, and there could be more on my music tag. But I guess we can talk a bit about music again.

No, I don’t really play anything. I used to visit a children music school… something like three times, actually — around 7, then couple years later and… another couple years later (I’m not quite sure if there was actually third time applying there, though, or maybe I just took a long break from it). But each time I could only last for a few weeks before dropping it. So I literally remember nothing, and there wasn’t much to remember in first place coz it was just the basic stuff all over again. 

Still, I do know a bit about music theory — I learned it much later (most of it not too long ago, actually). Not much, just some general stuff about scales, keys, chords, etc. Why? Well, because I find it curious sometimes. I like that system thing about sounds and human perception of it, etc. 

Basically, I treat music just like any other language, poking on patterns and interconnections, finding correlations and dependencies, all that tension/resolution interplay and other not-too-obvious details about music. 

On occasion I even toy a bit with composing. Of course, most of it is just messing around with whatever weird ass scale and rhythm I pick at random. It’s never meant to be heard by anyone but me, anyway. Most of the time it probably sounds like a poor parody on old anime tunes or whatever old dusty classic bits I heard before and forgot where it’s from. I don’t generally share this kind of stuff, but just to illustrate, here’s a tiny example:

https://instaud.io/Xiv

I tried to grab at least somewhat less-then-horrible bit of my resent massive piece of random noise, but yeah… (btw, if you happen to recognize any familiar pattern in it, I’d actually appreciate if you let me know coz my memory sucks at recalling sources)

Anyway, for whatever reason I had this tendency to come up with weird “music” ever since, like, grade school?.. Though people never believed I didn’t just heard it somewhere (which pissed me off sometimes) . >.> And mostly likely that’s exactly what I did — just not from a single source. I remember “composing” silly songs out of bits of whatever pop garbage was on repeat on tv/radio back then, which… actually, compared to the quality of what’s currently considered pop music in Russia, it probably wasn’t all that terrible. -_-’ Sometimes I have a subtile feeling it is, in fact, being composed by random toddlers nowadays. >.>

Now, the tricky part is… I don’t really play any instrument. Not even piano. If you give me a keyboard and say “play it”, that just won’t work. I might know how it could be played, but my fingers dexterity and skill is barely enough to play Mary has a little lamb or something. I don’t even own any kind of piano. There are couple dad’s old guitars collecting dust somewhere, but I literally have zero clue how to use those.

You might ask, how can I write anything if that’s the case? Well that’s pretty easy because there’s a free GarageBand app shipped with some of my apple devices. ^^’ It has this nice little mode that allows to just draw synthesia-like notes with either general laptop keyboard and even just by tapping on touchpad/iPad. 

So yeah, tbh I don’t care enough to learn to play anything as long as I can still write down all those shitty tunes that boggles my mind whenever I feel like it. That being said, I don’t really know all that much about music in general and honestly I barely listen anything. I don’t even know which genre I prefer (tho know the ones I really dislike). 

The only exception being some awesome musicians, mostly perfect-pitch ones, who just do really impressive stuff that doesn’t hurt my ears and which at least isn’t annoying to get stuck on when there’s nothing else to do. Lately I got a habit of listening to life improv streams on twitch, like those two. 

Also I can’t listen to music while doing other stuff. Not sure how people manage to have music as a background while still being able to focus on something else. If there’s music, 99% of my focus will be stuck to it. Hence there’s almost never music unless that is exactly the effect I intend to achieve like in public places where I get annoyed a lot by the noises, voices and just general too many people around.

Now, the separate issue is that music is generally being tied to emotions. That’s probably part of the problem why I don’t feel all that strongly attached to music in first place. Though I think I got a bit better in this regard over last couple years. Not that I can actually feel things from music, but at least it’s no longer 9 out of 10 chance to just fall completely flat unless it’s over the top amazing and then it might be just enough to barely grab my attention. 

Still, like in my tiny example above, I’m not even quite sure which emotional tone it has. If at all?.. Maybe, I dunno, some light curiosity/fascination mood? But I heard it before that music can help some schizoids (as well as autistic people and others who has alexythymia and similar oblivious-to-your-own-emotions issues) to get at least some feedback out of otherwise unreachable parts of sub/consciousness. Not quite sure if it actually works, but it might have some potential.

Oh, and now I scrolled up to (re-)read the rest of the question. >.> Hm… well, I don’t really think there’s anything stopping szpd people from being musicians. Other then, probably, disliking the very idea to play for other people, to be the center of attention, or having too strong emotional void trait to the point where music has no value. But that’s not the case for every schizoid, though no idea about you, anon. 

Perhaps if you really feel like music is your thing, you could try what I’m talking about in this post — to just compose music instead of playing it. Most schizoids are good with patterns, and music is all about patterns. I’m pretty sure there are lots of schizoids among all those famous (and not so much) composers of the past and present. Maybe some performers with szpd also exist, especially among some alternative kinds of music that isn’t quite mainstream. Though I can’t think of many examples, but I don’t know personalities of all that many musicians.

Ok, I hope no one’s too surprised by now that I ended up writing a wall of text even on nearing a complete offtopic ask. >.> Srsly, you should get used to it by now if you follow me and read this. To make it at least a bit closer to the blog theme, feel free to add up if you have any specific thoughts about music in context of schizoidness or coping with szpd or whatever else.