#sirius cybernetics

[dougielombax]

Your plastic pal who’s fun to be wiiiiii-*GETS SHOT AND DIES VIOLENTLY*

[wordsandrobots]

Jotting down a half-formed thought.

Some years ago, I went to an XML conference in Oxford (that makes it sound fancy but off-season college food is universally terrible) and one of the speakers was a gentleman who worked for Wikipedia. And one of the things he said was that what he aspired to, with Wikipedia, was something akin to the ship's computer in Star Trek, where you could go, "Computer tell me about pottery on Bronze Age Cyprus," and it would return all the information you could want. An aspirational idea, to be sure, and not an aim I object to, but an example of how fiction shapes what we want out of technology.

A couple of weeks ago, my workplace held one of our semi-regular informal meetings about so-called 'AI' and the impact on our industry, which I generally avoid because I am an avowed Luddite when it comes to this latest round of 'wonderful new technologies' being promoted at break-neck pace by investment capital. My contributions to the meetings when I do go are generally of a wet-blanket kind and this time was little different even though we were talking about 'fears around AI', because a well-intentioned colleague started the discussion with Roko's Basilisk and the Paper-Clip Maximiser. Politely speaking, these are two rather implausible scenarios concerning the creation of general artificial intelligences, which do not have much bearing on the subject of large-language models and supposedly-assistive automation. I bit my tongue a lot, despite finding myself talking more than usual, mostly on account of thinking that focusing on these fantasies is a distracting waste of time when 'AI' tools are being deployed willy-nilly in efforts to devalue people's labour, to say nothing of exposing the tech sector's childish disregard for creativity as a part of human experience.

I fear the loss of skill and information at scale as a consequence of another capitalistic fool's gold-rush far more than I do hypothetical non-human intelligences we are not close to creating, and that would reside within extremely vulnerable infrastructure if we did.

Nevertheless, it got me thinking about Issac Asimov and the laws of robotics, his set of impossibly vague rules created to drive stories on the basis of finding all the ways they would go wrong.

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

(Please appreciate how many philosophical concepts an AI would have to understand in order for these to be practicable.)

And that got me thinking about 'robot' stories in general, all the way back to Karel Čapek and Rossum's Universal Robots, which is of course not about thinking machines at all but rather the proletariat, 'robota' meaning as it does 'forced labour'. Decades later, Luke Skywalker and his uncle were buying slaves made from steel and gold to work on their farm. 'Robot' displaced 'automaton' in popular language, and injected its original, class-structure meaning into unthinking clockwork. Fictional metal robots become beings capable of thought. Alien, yes, yet in some measure conscious and subject to all sorts of ethical considerations and imagined horrors. We've largely left behind Čapek's conception of human-like beings assembled from separately grown organs, the production-line person, but his tale of a genocidal revolution persists.

Discussion around automation and 'AI' seems to me to be soaked in a morbid desire for a 'safe' intelligent servant. Science fiction has shaped how we hold those discussions, naturally, directing our concerns at 'robot uprisings' and being 'surpassed' in some way (or all ways). It goes without saying that a great deal of the fiction functions as metaphor. To pick an example I've just finished rereading, Ann Leckie's Ancillary books are as much commentary on real-world imperial practices as they are an exploration of personhood and how general AI might be implemented per se. Unavoidably so. Will we ever extract 'robot' from Čapek's work and the industrial models that shaped his writing?

Perhaps not, but this isn't really the question I'm concerned with here. No, what I'm grappling with is the appeal of having an intelligence serve our whims. From the simple humanisation of tools, both in the sense of 'prompts' and 'hints' taking a conversational tone, to the desire to supplant actual humans with pliable alternatives that has Elon Musk wheeling out a bloke in a leotard like he's restaging The Five Doctors, it's a thread that has become wrapped around how we engage with . . . well, with technology. With constructions meant to assist us, that more often than not cannot replace us (yet) and require us to assist them.

In reality, the ethical questions arising are blunt and ugly. Whose work do we value? By what criteria does society judge who it supports and who it discards? How is remote technology used to circumvent natural, negative human responses to violence? Did those companies pay for that data, and do we want them to be able to buy it at all?

Still the fantasy persists. "Computer, answer my question." "Robot, do my chores." "AI, you won't rise up and kill me, will you?"

This is not an original observation, to be sure. I am inclined to seek out analyses of these trends in discussion around new tech, although I fear it would mean going back to Frankenstein and working forward. It just struck me, forcibly, that the metaphors for labour discontent and slave uprisings have imposed their own logic on both the fears and the hype around 'AI', be it the real thing or the glorified spell-checkers used to pretend art can happen at the touch of a button.

I have nothing against automation as a tool for making life easier, just as I see no possibility of that promise being fulfilled while capitalistic priorities rule the world. We have to pivot to centring human good first, and that's the core of the struggle.

But I'm also beginning to think we need to seriously ask why we want our tools to be glorified. Why we would want, not just speech recognition as an assistive feature for those who can't type, but specifically something that can speak to us in Majel Barrett's voice and hold an intelligent conversation. Why we are sold objects intended to play-act being 'part of the family' and why those selling them consider it desirable.

I don't suppose the answer will be less depressing than 'owning people is the highest mark of prestige in the societies producing these discussions. Even so, it's probably worth unpicking.

[headlesshorsemanxiii]

[alovecraft]

This thing better not say “Share and Enjoy” when it cuts off.

[ragdolls-and-such]

WHATS UP GUYS. H2G2 SWAP AU

alright so! roles and explanations and stuff. pretty please do not complain about how uncreative my names are for these guys i did Not want to think about it too hard. i just like my sillies + that is all Anyway lets go !!!

this is ford dent and he's having a really interesting time rn. guy who is just ITCHING to be up in the stars exploring all that madness gets beamed up into the air with his bestie and then realizes "hey i didnt realize Peril would be part of the equation. why's there so much of That" so basically he's in a constant state of conflict between the "this is cool as shit" and the "GET ME OUT BEFORE I DIE"

next up is arthur prefect (yes i know that ruins the car joke. forgive me). arthur left betelgeuse and was headed towards Somewhere for vacation. he ended up making a wrong turn, crash-landing on earth, and having to figure things out from there. unlike canon ford, he has Not researched anything in space, he just knows about it in passing, so he's just as clueless as his ford.

simply "zaphod." that's it. a personality prototype from the sirius cybernetics corporation, built to be as optimistic and friendly as possible, ended up almost completely oblivious to or uncaring of danger, and SO VERY FULL OF HIMSELF. everyone fuckin hates him basically but every time canon marvin's horrible tragedy occurs to him, he thinks to himself "well at least I'M here. at least i have Me." and slowly the feeling starts to fade as he realizes no one actually gives a shit about him as he's like. rotting away, half-sun-melted. fun stuff :)

TRILLIAN BEEBLEBROX WHO I LOVE SO DEARLY. former genius, still Sort Of a genius, maybe? she wanted to become president of the galaxy So badly. she wanted to make the milky way a better place and knew Exactly how she was going to do it. she worked relentlessly to be elected and . lost the election. realizing that the thing that kept her from being elected WAS the exact thing that made her Want to be elected in the first place - her genuine honesty and care for people - she just went "fuck it, i hate it here," and corkscrewed her brain. Ironically, ended up getting elected afterwards, because she became more "fun" as a result of this.

finally, marvin mcmillan. human teenager, about 17 years old, and was dragged along to a party by his friends. ended up meeting trillian there, who he immediately recognized as an alien (thanks to her constant bragging about it...) and he begged her to be taken away from this god awful planet. she basically unofficially adopted him but instead of adoption its more like . what do you call it when its a wine aunt + a weird angsty nephew.

that's all <3 hope you enjoyed

[maklodes]

I don't have a lot to add on the whole "what if Dave Lister had survived Earth's demolition by Vogons vs. what if Arthur Dent had been in stasis for three million years aboard the Red Dwarf" discourse, but I don't think Arthur Dent really would have put much effort into trying to "liberate" Kryten from his servile programming. He probably would have been reasonably polite and respectful -- a touch of oblivious or frustration-induced rudeness aside -- but overall Arthur would have figured that if a mechanoid wanted to do his laundry and bring him tea, that would suit him just fine.

Dave Lister might have tried to emancipate the Hitchhikers' Guide robots, but the closest he'd get would be when he's feeling thirsty so he tries to get a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimatic Drinks Dispenser to make him a drink that's, like, half lager and half vindaloo sauce, and the machine promptly commits suicide.

[dingoskidneys]

"Thank you, the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation..."

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

help, my Sirius Cybernetics Corporation™ brand computer operating system keeps crashing, could you direct me to the complaints department?

The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation complaints department is so vastly popular that it covers all the major land masses of the first three planets in the Sirius Tau Star system. In the meantime, we recommend using the monitor as a paperweight or doorstop, as it's not good for much else.

[sod4leaf]

gee these guys seem interesting, sad their made up :(

Humans are a comparatively young species on the galactic scale, having only really begun colonisation outside their home solar system some 350 years ago. While not particularly special in any field, humans are often described as “the jack of all traits” species. Their bodies are much more likely to accept genetic and cybernetic modifications, leading them to splitting into several subspecies. 

By the 26th century, it's rare to find humans with no genetic or cybernetic enhancements, both being rather affordable. 

However most of these genetic enhancements are minor cosmetic changes or for medical reasons. The more extreme genetic alterations happen before birth and are applied from a template the parents get to choose. Most genetically modified human species can only reproduce within their own genome, which makes their traits naturalised and allows their children to be born with those same traits. 

The largest of these groups are the Tailers, humans designed to live in Zero-G environments. 

The tails that were lost by human ancestors millions of years ago was reintegrated into the Tailers anatomy, and is entirely prehensile, effectively becoming a fifth limb. When working in environments without gravity they use these to hang onto railings, freeing up their other 4 hands. Two of these were created from human feet, similar to other primates on their homeworld.

Tailers makeup around 29% of the human population across the solar federation, being spread across countless space stations and habitats. While they can live on planets with no real issues, they often feel a lot more clumsy and uncomfortable. Due to this most prefer to live in the space stations, which act as their own self sufficient city states. The largest of these, and unofficial Tailer capital, is Hammond station located in the Sirius system. It consists of a port ring, spinning around the main hub to simulate gravity. This is where most tourists and visitors spend most of their time when on hammond station. The hub is where the main city is located. Due to not needing gravity, its built in a way that only Tailers really can get around, with sidewalks of monkey-bar structures that they can climb on to get around. 

Other notable Genetic subspecies are the swimmers, humans modified for an amphibian lifestyle on oceanic worlds. Titans, 10ft tall semi quadrupedal humans designed for live on worlds with high gravity. Featherfolk, designed for colonisation of gas giants. Their arms were engineered into wings with prehensile feet and tails. Featherfolk were originally created from a similar template as the Tailers, which is why they look somewhat similar. 

Humans are newcomers to the galactic stage, but already made a massive impact by being immune to viruses the imperium uses in its war against the galaxy. As Well as this, humans also rival the Vardee in terms of warlike nature, and make up a large portion of the Solar federations military. 

Some of the more conservative factions see them as a foolish and immature species, tho if this is true is something that has yet to be seen.

[doctorprofessorsong]

My first fic, Across the Universe, is rough when it comes to writing style, but actually past River was hilarious. I entirely forgot about this passage

The Mediocre Pub, formerly known as The Best Pub in the Galaxy, was the brainchild of three Zymurgists, coincidentally named Zed, Fred and Ted. Zymology, that is the study of fermentation, is the most popular major at the University of Maximegalon. 65% of first-year students declare it as their major. Typically, the vast majority of students change their major after a semester when they realize it is markedly more entertaining to drink beer than it is to study it. Zed, Ted and Fred, on the other appendage, were not going to let a little fun get in the way of their studies. Even if they found themselves slightly less popular at parties than marketing majors. As it happens, partygoers were not particularly enthralled by their lectures on the hint of elderberry in their fermented beverage of choice. Not to be dissuaded, the "Eds", as they became known, decided the problem was the parties to which they were not being invited, and the attractive members of their preferred species who were decidedly ignoring them. After a night of drinking a particular potent fermented beverage with hints of chocolate, oats and a small insect like creature that inhabits the fetid swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, they came up with a plan. They decided to create the perfect pub. A pub so amazing that the partygoers, including attractive members of their preferred species, would flock to them. They set to work studying every aspect of successful pubs. Every single item was based on their extensive studies, and every beer was individually cultivated to appeal to only the most sophisticated palate. They humbly named their joint venture The Best Pub in the Galaxy. Unfortunately for them, it was a resounding failure. The Guide described the interior as "a mish mash of random elements that entirely fail to come together." The menu had "all of the readability and excitement of an instruction manual for a midsized vehicle." Finally, the drink list was described as: "ranging from undrinkable to almost surely toxic to most species. The best option tastes a bit like water used to cook Zontarian sausages poured over the anus of a Turiquan Three-Headed Uberbeast." The only positives cited were the location, situated along several major routes between large galactic hubs, and the bartender Tritus, who "will slip you a couple of generic brews for a fiver." The Eds had a massive falling out, blaming one another for the pub's failure. They refused to be in the same room and would send messages through Tritus, who very quickly tired of being the go-between for all of their petty squabbles. Finally, he went to each Ed and told him: "Whew! Those other two sure do hate me. Can you imagine if I was an owner? That would sure piss them off." Zed, Ted and Fred immediately signed their shares over to Tritus. He changed the name to The Mediocre Pub, disposed of the inventory, and redecorated. The result is a quiet, popular pub that always has just enough of a crowd to feel warm and inviting, but not so many patrons that you can't get a drink. Tritus still mans the bar. As it happens, the Eds never spoke with one another again, and thus never discovered his subterfuge. Zed used all of his experience doing market research to get a job in the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. He liked it slightly less than zymology, but it got him more invitations to parties, so he considered it a win (at least until the revolution came). Ted became an apprentice at a zeptobrewery where they brew beer by the sip. You must have a masters or higher in zymology to enter. Sadly, he was diagnosed with a chronic case of Pretentiousness and forced into early retirement. Fred was killed by a Turquian Three-Headed Uberbeast.

[theygotlost]

ai and machine learning companies are well on their way to becoming the sirius cybernetics corporation... oh doug were really in it now

[dougielombax]

Same energy.

In my mind…

[saltymcsaltything]

Since @staff and the pissbaby CEO are still nuking blogs critical of them, I am extremely pissed off and not in a fun way.

'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy describes the Marketing Department of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as: "A bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes."'

@staff and @photomatt will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

[the-haunted-office]

Marvin

Age: ???

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Too depressed to know or care.

Species: Android

Abilities: Brain the size of a planet. Being depressed. Being bored.

About: Marvin was originally built as one of the many failed prototypes of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation’s Genuine People Personalities technology. He is afflicted with severe depression and boredom, in part because he has a “brain the size of a planet” which he is seldom, if ever, given the chance to use. (This was taken from his wikipedia page! The next bit is mine!)

After his adventures hitchhiking through the galaxy with Arthur, Ford, Trillian, and Zaphod, Marvin found himself in the Haunted Office, where he has been accepted as another strange member of the Haunted Office family. That doesn’t mean he personally feels like family, though. He finds himself appointed with tasks he still believes as too menial for him but sighs and goes along anyway. Perhaps one day he will find his place.

PLEASE BE WARNED... Marvin is canonically depressed. While his character is meant to be portrayed in a humorous manner, his thoughts and dialogue can be quite depressing and at times dark. While I don’t intend on ever portraying him as practicing self-harm or expressing su*c*dal ideation, I still feel his character could be a trigger to some.

[spaceintruderdetector]

https://archive.org/details/Mondo.2000.Issue.03.1991

Special Guest Editorial - William S. BurroughsOur Readers WriteCongressional Bill would Suspend ConstitutionPushing the Rollercoaster Reality Envelope - Louis M. BrillFiber in the Valley - Denise CarusoStreet Tech - Gareth BranwynPXL 2000 - Brian GoldbergDurk and Sandy Explain it all to You - St. JudeThe War on Drugs and FIJA - Robert Anton WalsonFlow like a Dragonfly, See like a Bee: a Drug-Free Expansion of the Senses - Nick HerbertDo G-men Dream of Electric Sheep? - R. U. Sirius & George GleasonCivilizing the Electronic Frontier: an interview with Mitch Kapor & John Barlow of the Electronic Frontier Foundation - David Gans & R. U. SiriusSynergy Speaks: Goodbye Banks, Goodbye Telephones, Goodbye Welfare Checks - Michael SynergyFreaked by Phrack: an interview with Craig Neidorf - John Perry BarlowA Message to You From Legion of Doom Member "The Mentor"On the Road to Chaos in East Berlin - Morgan RussellThe Worlds Oldest Secret Conspiracy: Fronted by Steve Jackson Games, Inc. - Gareth BranwynGuess Work: an interview w/ Ausust Bequai - Gareth BranwynPhreaks R Us: an interview w/ Hacker Publishers Emmanuel Goldstein of 2600 & Rop Gonggrijp of Hack-Tic - R. U. Sirius & George GleasonDeborah Harry: 21st Century Girl - Tresca Behling, R. U. Sirius & St. JudeDangerous AttireCybernetic Jewelery - Wearable Microsystems - Vernon ReedBoom or Bust - Justine HJeff Designs - Bart NagelHats by Pine - Bart NagelWhat Computers can for for the Fashion Designer - Willard Van de BogartCovert Design & Holographic Clothing: a look at the 21st Century Fashion - Mark HeleyPlastic People - R. U. Sirius & in conversation with Dr. ForshanFuture Food as conceived - Erez with Joshua Ets-HokinShadow World of Heavy Metal Part 3 - Gracive & ZarkovFrank Zappa for PresidentEscape from New York / Talking Hearts & Severed Heads: an interview with Tima Weymouth & Chris Franz - R. U. SiriusBitin' Off the Funk with George Clinton - Rickey VincentHouse Music: the Best Techno-Shamanic Cultural Virus so far - Mark HeleyTune In, Turn on the Acid House with Psychic TV - Philip H. Farber with DjenabaMuzak: the Concept of Manipulation through Music - Genesis P. OrridgeDeee-Lite: Like Tapping into the Soul of a Deep Program - St. JudeThe Primal Venting of Buttheads: a Post Punk Dialectic - Antonio LopezButthole Hacker: We Talk to Gibby, Mostly about his Computer Graphics - Bart Nagel & R. U. SiriusTaking Toys from the Boys: an interview with Rebecca Allen - Jas. MorganSIGGRAPH Gallery: the Wizards of Light & Motion Collected - Jas. Morgan & Christopher CaseChaos & Catastrophe: an interview w/ Ralph Abraham - Rebecca McClen & David Jay BrownQuantum Randiness: Mathematica Author Stephen Wolfram & Physics Genius Saul-Paul Sirag in conversation - Jas. Morgan & Efrem Lipkin assisted by John Zaitz, George Gleason & Jeff MarkDrugs for Sex: Real Aphrodisiacs - Leila Mellow-WhipkitA Word (or Two) on Aphrodisiacs from Dr. Ward Dean interviews - John MorgenthalerAttitude: File Under "Bad" - John ShirleyGreatest Hist from Timothy Leary's Greatest Hists - R. U. SiriusHolidays in Cambodia? - Richard P. GreenfieldMONDOzines - Mike GunderlowSim City, A Cybernetic PlaygroundCracking Mac Software for Fun and Profit: Words from an Expert

[necarion]

In the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, the motto of the Sirius Cybernetics [Complaints Division] is “Share and Enjoy”. I’m pretty sure Adams anticipated “Like and Subscribe”